Son of a Boy Dad - Aghora | Son of a Boy Dad #163

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

Sas rone & Francis are back at HQ4 to discuss the eagles, cannibalism, and dry January Son of a Boy Dad #163 - Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad Ads: BetterHelp - Son of a Boy Dad is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/SON today to get 10% off your first month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Sorry, we're recording. All righty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is January 8th, 2024. We are here live from hq4 welcome back fellas how are we doing today good yep real solid doing good really feeling good experiencing a world of technology errors

bright and early um haven't even finished my freaking cup of joe yet yeah you didn't get the one you wanted though right no i didn't i ordered a hot coffee and they sent him an iced coffee so i had to kill the uber eats man i prefer iced all year round anyway yeah it is your thing you do like iced that's a new england thing i'm surprised you're not on that train here ball is it Is it? Yeah. I guess that makes sense. People from New England have iced coffee all year round. That's probably because Dunkin' Donuts has better iced coffee than hot coffee by a mile. Dunkin' Donuts coffee makes me have insane anxiety. I don't know if this is what you want to be saying.

They're a big sponsor. Oh, it does? They sponsor a lot of Barstool. That's good. We'll cut that out no no it's okay i like how i like their food because it's salty bro you should not talk about a sponsor line i like their hash browns because it's like eating a square of salt i mean i i'm a i'm a i i love donka donuts you're getting your ass kicked especially under the patriots you can't have a I love Dunkin' Donuts. You're getting your ass kicked, especially under the Patriots.

You can't have a Patriots flag up and be talking shit on Dunkin' Donuts. No, you really can't. That's antithetical to your entire New England legacy. I was in a very snowy area this weekend, and the snow was wet and packable. And I thought uh building a snow tunnel which is what i always used to do classic and calling it snow moss instead of hamas because was that just for yourself or were you gonna like post that online i thought about it and i thought i don't know if that'll go over well but um i'm confused who this would be going not over you're gonna like show it to your wife and she was going to get pissed?

Listen, man. Look what I've done with my time. Let's put this baby on hold for another month. Snow moss might take us to the next level. We've got to get this on Shark Tank. You wanted me to fucking take the trash out, but instead I built a snow tunnel with a loose pun because there's a big ski resort called extremely loose it sounds

more like a play on no moss than than uh well the only reason it works is because there's a out in aspen there's a mountain nearby called snow mass that everyone knows and i was thinking snow moss snow moss is hilarious better no moss snow's better. Snow moss. Snow moss. But it's like it doesn't have anything to do with anything. No. At least yours was a little bit apropos. Yeah. I used to build tunnels in the snow, and every time I did it, I would do it alone growing up in Maine.

How the fuck much snow is there for you to build a tunnel that you can... A lot. Then we'd get 10 inches. Yeah, you showed me the photos. It was a ton. It was incredible. Jesus Christ. But dude, in Maine growing we got we used to get feet and feet of snow all winter long yeah and we uh i used to build snow tunnels and i would go in them and i

would panic i would panic because i'd be alone and sometimes they'd collapse because i wasn't exactly a fucking architect yeah and you'd kind of get stuck and there was always a story of some kid who died in the snow but i would because the suicide bombers yeah the first time you test the tunnel the first time you climb under you don't know because if it's not big enough your back will hit the top and then the whole thing will collapse on top of you and then you're dead and that was always the scariest part and there were a few times that i panicked did you i've been watching this dude's youtube videos the uh luke the outdoor boys you ever see those love love them all that he sleeps in those like uh those those igloos i guess that he makes

that scares the fuck like i can't i can't imagine being like comfortable and like i mean i guess he's like he knows what he's doing clearly yeah he's an expert but i still can't imagine being comfortable. I guess he knows what he's doing, clearly. Yeah, he's an expert. But I still can't imagine being so sure. Is he the blonde guy with the glasses? Yeah. Yeah, he's so badass. Yeah, he's cool.

He's a cool guy. I wonder how you become built like that. It has to be from the first day you're out of the womb, you're walking through cow shit or something like that. You can't really have a father. No, I think you have a great father. No, I think your dad left early, and you are out in the wilderness on your own. Yeah, that might be it. or something like that you can't really have a father no i think you have a great father no i think your dad left early and you are out in the wilderness on your own yeah that might be it and

then you're like i have to learn all this stuff myself and then you get a little on this like you don't necessarily need all that stuff yeah it's either that or you have as you said the best father sydney well situation where it's like her dad is also a survivalist and you like learn how to skin a deer before you can brush your teeth bingo which i think is healthy and i'm i'm pissed at my fucking soft ass parents for not teaching me any of that shit i know that would have been cool my that that's like uh he brings his kids with him i don't watch the ones with his kids i'm not a big fan of we're not into that but he does bring his kids with him and he brings them to like the fucking deep forest of alaska yeah like sleeping

like igloos that's got to be a good bonding experience yeah these kids love the meals he cooks you know i will say so good that's the problem though buddy it's too gourmet but no but it's like if you're ever caught in the wild make sure you uh unpack your tin of beans and your charcuterie board and you're going to want to add some of this. It's like, dude. You're going to want pink Himalayan salt, not your average table salt. He brought fresh mozzarella in the event that you

get snowed in and can't make it home. He does bring bread dough. He cooks bread a lot in the woods. He brought elk loin. No, but he also does do episodes where he's fishing and he does a catch and cook. Yeah, fair enough. His kids would be so much happier if he just shoved an iPad in their face.

I don't know, dude. Momentarily, they definitely would. He did a catch and cook right by his house in West Virginia or wherever he lives. I think it's in Northern Canada, I thought. No, because most of his videos are in Alaska. Oh, that's right. But I guess he must be flying to Alaska weekly.

Yeah, it must be nice. Yeah, he's probably got Delta Platinum. He's probably one of those guys who's hanging out on the outside of that pole. Dude, that's crazy. That's wild. Explain it, plane guy. I don't have an explanation for it. All I know is that it's

the 737 max again but it's a different i mean obviously it's not it's not the same shit that it was before i don't have an explanation except for probably the drift and the the drag it seems like it's just boeing is rushing production of their planes and not doing them properly it's actually it's pretty scary that plane is brand new. They said that that plane was like a month and a half old, like off of the fucking factory. Alaska Airlines, that is an airline that doesn't sound like it should be a big airline, and yet somehow it's much bigger than you'd think.

It's probably because they're assembling airplanes in like an Amazon warehouse, and it's like dudes who have to piss in a bucket and are making like eight bucks an hour have to like make the airplanes. No the dudes that make the airplanes probably make a fucking ridiculous amount of money and they just like forgot to put the screws on the door yeah probably i don't know what it was but it was dude it is like it is funny how everyone's like oh dude don't fly spirit it's dang like like those like jokes but it's like dude they're all this

we're all they're all the same plane right they're all the same point it's not like spirit has a worse quality boeing 737 than fucking delta no it's probably like an old interior are you sure worse are you sure spirit's not buying the hand-me-downs yeah it's definitely hand-me-downs or it's like probably at a like a butcher shop where the italian guys like saved the best cut of meat for me you know what i mean like delta is getting like the primo cut and then like the trickle down like ass the tripe and everything is going to spirit frontier he's exactly right and you can tell because delta had the uh bluetooth headset tvs before anyone else and that technology that adjusting to technology at that speed uh a good indicator, I think, of which planes are going best.

But isn't that just the interior of the plane? Like, is Boeing designing the interiors as well, or are they only designing the exterior? You're the only one of us that's on the plane subreddit that could actually tell us that. I genuinely don't know the answer to that. That's actually – because it is interesting to think because like i mean there's obviously there's like that you can fly on a fucking boeing 737 and it can be one of those ones that we flew to san francisco where it's like they have the delta one seats but then there's a 737 that goes from like fucking new york to florida that's like it does not have those seats how did the cabin

same plane how did it not get depressurized they weren't i don't know if they were high up enough yet it happened quickly it was like 15 minutes into the flight oh my god well that is when like they say that's when like 90 of the crashes happen is when that wasn't a crash though well emergency landing i guess yeah that's fucking terrifying i don't know dude kind of creepy too how there was two people that were supposed to be sitting in those seats but they didn't make the flight it's final destination yeah they've've literally is out yeah 100 they would have gotten sucked out so did anyone get close to getting sucked i don't think so just because there was enough space yeah oh my god it does make you put your seat belt on a little more carefully i put my seat belt on not snug but i'm always thinking now

if there's violent turbulence i don't want to be the guy who floats up to the top and now so embarrassing that would be mortifying somebody strapped me in especially for the flight attendants i always wonder who who are the people who have like the wherewithal to film in those situations where they catch that shit on tape. I was on Reddit and I was looking at the... People were talking about it and they were saying that... Imagine you do that and you're gushing blood like me diving in the water and you get up and you go, I'm so embarrassed.

That's what it would be. People are laughing at you. Dude, it would be the equivalent of slipping on ice in the winter. Like in public and then having to get up and be like, I'm fine. I'm fine. Like looking around. I'm fine. The wind's knocked out of you? Yeah. Don't worry about me. I'm good. You can get decapitated

that way though somehow. Yeah. How? I don't know. It happened once. I read about it. I don't know how. Damn. Imagine seeing a decapitation in your everyday life just like walking down the street someone's driving them their their head gets ripped off their body it's something that no human being is prepared to see it doesn't matter if you've been to war

or if you've worked in a fucking er or something like that the the fact that human bodies are fragile enough where the head can pop right off like a Ken doll is disturbing as fuck it'd be a major ick it's definitely my ick that's damn good you have to give him credit for that come on now

you have to give him credit bra is good bra can be taken multiple different ways there's good and bad we got some new ones on there oh can't wait i forget where they are though which is the problem i had um can i tell you this i had a very gay weekend yeah and i mean that literally like happy no no oh no i mean homosexual it was the it was the most gay Probably the most gay experience I've ever had in my life What? Well you fucked guys

Well that would be it I think more than what you normally do This is not as gay As that time I fucked those guys But No I was in a hot tub With 12 gay men And then my wife and my mother-in-law.

Where did you stumble upon 12 gay men? Were those your friends? What do we have here? Or did you just stumble upon 12 gay men? That sounds like something you would read in like a fucking Harry Potter book. The 12 Gay Men. The Canterbury Tales. Deep in the woods of upstate New York.

That's where it was. We came across the 12 Gay Men. Well, we went over to our friend's house. They're a lovely gay couple. And they had a bunch of friends over. And we went in the hot tub with all of them. But here's the part that was tough. So I'm sitting at one end and the,

they had the heater on and it was getting hot under my legs. And, uh, there was a guy next to me who was very funny. And I said, boy, it's getting really hot. And he goes,

it's getting so hot in here. Someone's going to get pregnant, which was funny. I don't really know why. It doesn't make sense. It was funny though. That is funny. I could see that.

I would say you'd have to be there, but you'd never be there. You're too homoph't really know why. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It was funny, though. That is funny. I could see that killing. I would say you'd have to be there, but you'd never be there. You're too homophobic. Much too. Or, no, he's way more scared of a hot tub than gay people. Yeah. Oh, that's a nightmare situation for me. This is a triple filter.

12 gay dudes seeing my fucking flabby stomach. That's horrible. They would laugh me away. It was the most self-conscious I've ever been about my body more than being on a beach with a bunch of hot babes. How good were these dudes, Boz? Pretty good, but I was okay. I wasn't top of the line, but I was probably middle of the pack.

I wouldn't say that I wasn't... They wouldn't have been like, we're not touching that gay man tonight. And you also underestimate a gay guy's standards, Harry. I think that these gay guys would fuck you no matter what your body looked like. You'd have to bring something else to the table. Definitely.

A tight butthole. He's not much to look at, but good luck getting him off you. It's going to sound like a cork. I'm re-watching mind hunter and there's that scene where ed kemper's like a lot of people don't know this but the butthole actually sucks in a penis have you ever seen that no i have not i don't know you're talking about you've never seen you never watched mind hunter no you don't do you know ed kemper the serial killer

no ed killer no no which one is he the what the co-ed killer. I think it's funny without even knowing it. He killed both men and women? I don't know. I don't know why they call him that. He killed his mom and he like sawed her head off and then fucked her neck. So he's a legend. That's not co-ed. And he's like, and he's, well, then he killed a bunch of girls on like a college campus

too. Again, still not co-ed. Dude, I didn't come up with the name. You got to go back to the 70s and figure that out. There must have been a man that he killed. He might have. Don't they call sorority sisters co-eds? think he did he killed a bunch of sorority girls why does it why would co-eds only refer to women that is interesting because it's like uh like a porn

title like a bunch of co-eds like uh-huh 12 co-eds in a hot tub yeah suck your penis in with their buttholes he sounds like he's huge he's huge's huge. He's like seven feet tall and like 300 pounds. And he sounds like Big T. So imagine Big T telling you that. A lot of soft kind of hoppage. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that the butthole actually sucks your penis in. That's cool.

I'm thinking of, isn't there some creature that starts in a movie? I don't know. I saw something recently where it's like, that reminds me of that. Starship Troopers or some shit like that? I don't know. Go ahead, though. So anyway, you're in this fucking bacchanal of buttholes, fucking farting in tub. The heater's on.

The guy says, someone's going to get pregnant. And he said that. And then then I went has anyone here ever seen glee and six gay guys around me one after another silence and then each one went no I didn't I didn't see it and they were like yeah and I go am i the gayest guy here did i just out kick the gays because there's a scene in season one of glee yeah you ever watch glee no i'm not gay did you well apparently it's not a gay thing because none of them had seen it only the straight guys who watch maybe they were all fucking dude you're gonna end up in like a mr beast or like a fucking nelk video it was probably all straight dudes just fucking with you oh that'd be funny that would be cool so now you were surrounded by cameras double nelk

steiny was just fucking smirking into his happy dad. Full send. Full send for sure. Fuck yeah. But the point is there's a scene in season one of Glee where the lead male character gets his girlfriend pregnant even though they've never had sex with each other and she's cheating on him

with another guy. Yeah. But she tells him it happened the night they were in the hot tub because his sperm traveled through the hot tub water into her vagina and got her pregnant that was my reference and none of the gay guys got it because i was the only person among six gay men in earshot who had watched a single episode of gllee. How old were they? 35, 36, perfectly in the wheelhouse. Prime gay age. Prime gay age. This led to a conversation about how

visionary the executive producer and creator of Glee was, this young gay guy who... It was Glee? I thought Glee was like a partly like reality show. I thought it was a children's show on Fox. It was on Fox, but it was about like acapella. It was a children's show on fox it was on fox but it was about like acapella it was a it wasn't so it was like a show huh it was not scripted it was scripted yeah oh i didn't know that that's probably then they then there were all those like acapella song contest

shows oh i see i see not the mass glee was built on the back of High School Musical. Yep. And on the back of Glee was built the Pitch Perfect movies. Probably true. It was this weird acapella time when everybody hoped to burst into song, but not even in musical form. But I cannot believe that in Glee there were women telling stories that a sperm just escaped the penis and a heat-seeking missile found the vagina. Yeah, that's good, right? That's like fucking American horror story writing. the vagina yeah that's good right that's like

fucking american horror story writing yeah that's not that's not that's not it was a little bit of a plot hole and that how could the lead male character have been so stupid as to think this is how conception works but we bought it hook line and sinker but did it was it a single sperm or was the woman telling the guy that he ejaculated and didn't even know it it's like oh you must have come in the hot tub well i was like he didn't no no they were dating and they were like hooking up in the hot tub but they didn't have sex so he just came and it floated into her went in there oh man so he pre-jacked and then the girl got pregnant he might have full jacked. Well, he prematurely came.

Why would it be premature? She might have tugged him off in the hot tub. I see, I see. To completion, and then it swam. I didn't know there was tugging. I don't know if there was either. I think it's the implication, it's pre-jack. Really?

I'm thinking it's pre-jack. It sounds like pre-jack to me and Brown. You know pre-jack can get you uh can get you pregnant yeah you're talking about pre-cum yeah not pre-jack pre-jack is pre pre mature ejaculate right i have no clue pre-jack and pre-cum are they i guess they are different things they're very different don't you dare to pause the podcast to look it up it's a it's a horse of a different color so pre-cum is what oozes from the penile uh hole when you're excited it's like uh it's like the caulk it's like a lube or it's like a deck sealant that will kind of get you yeah in in highly volcanic regions uh they probably would

say it's sort of like the sulfuric fumes that might emit to signal uh-oh an eruption is imminent is that what that means oh yeah what smoke smoke coming before the fire oh coming before the fire to be honest i'm not sure if what i just said has any bearing on proper geology i went to iceland and the sulfur in the water smells nasty yeah it does rotting eggs but i remember when me and my buddies go we're super drunk in iceland we were hammered yeah i remember and my friend went to uh my friend went to take a shower when we got back to the place we were staying at. And it was the first time anyone said showered.

And it smelled like sulfur. And I remember that was like the hardest I've ever laughed. We thought that there was just like shit coming out of the fucking faucet, dude. It smelled so strong of just diarrhea. That's nasty. There are some nasty smells that occur in nature. Yeah. Cum trees

Well, cum trees, but also stink bomb trees I know that People always talk about the cum trees My cum does not smell So I can't relate to that in any way at all That's a fallacy But everyone's always like, dude, these trees reek of cum You wear your own cum so much

That you are engulfed in it. You're nose blind to your own cum. That could very much be it. Because you're one of those guys who just cums and then doesn't clean it up. You rub it in. You let it cake on yourself. I rub it in. That's right.

Like lotion. You are immersed in your own cum. Which honestly has done wonders for your skin. You are glowing. The fact that you just spray on your own face and then you seal it like nasty nasty that's disgusting here's my impression of sass jerking up ready ew try to catch it in his mouth like it's a grape oh that my impression is more like he's beats off but seals his mouth oh all over the chest to catch like kind of a rain like a like uh so like a spattering of it

yes yes people do crazy shit for uh for their facial routines though my wife will walk around and basically like a black face mud mask yeah like brown face but i've got one of those lying around my place somewhere that i bought a while ago never did it though where are you actually gonna do it for your skin i was gonna try and get the blackheads out of my nose And then I just gave up So these are never coming out Go get an actual facial Yeah

From the 12 dudes in the hot tub And then maybe watch some Glee after Pre-jack is premature ejaculation That's when you come fully You fully come But maybe your pants are still on But prematurely Yeah, so that's what i meant about

the glee thing because i i assumed you said they didn't fuck so i assumed that they were i didn't know i never you made a lot of i never considered the idea of tugging taking place which is on me i take full responsibility for that i blame myself schoolers theoretically i mean he's not exactly built up a huge tolerance. I didn't know we were talking high schoolers. There's a hot button. Pause. I mean, the actors playing them were like 30. They didn't have to fucking cut this whole segment. A lot of weird shit happened to that cast after the fact.

One of the girls died in a drowning accident. Yeah, man. She went out on a boat with her young kid. She drowned in Prejack. She went out on a boat with her redhead boyfriend. The Murdaugh's. Oh, nice. That was something I thought you would actually laugh at.

I thought you would like that joke. Didn't get it. That's a joke that you would make. I thought you were talking about me. Yeah, I thought you were talking about Francis, too, and about how he dived off a dock. I thought you were calling back the last episode. No. I was going to do the Murdaugh thing, and then I forgot what else happens.

I just remember they go out on the boat, and then one girl dies. It's amazing that that was sort of just the tip of the iceberg of things that happened there. Yeah. The craziest part is when the dad kills the kid and the wife. Probably. And stages it. I never got into that murder. Oh, dude.

I took a while. I didn't watch that until a couple months ago. The first ones were good. I didn't watch the post thing. How do people decide which murder becomes a pop culture thing? I was at the dinner on Saturday night, and the table next to us was talking about Gypsy Rose for literally an hour. I don't know anything about that. Everybody's been talking about this Gypsy Rose character.

How do they pick which one becomes the fucking cultural? Honestly, I think it's the strength of the documentary to a large extent. Yeah, so I was talking about this with someone the other day because I was saying that the son of Sam doesn't ever make sense to me, like how big of a deal that is because he only killed two people. What? And they're serial killers. Yeah, he just like pulled up. I think it was like two.

I think he pulled up on them and just killed them. I'm going to have to look that up. That doesn't sound like enough. Someone said that it was because of the amount of like fear he inflicted on the city was why it was such a big deal because it was like, it was completely random and no one knew anything about like who he was or why he did it same thing with gypsy rose people are just terrified that she's gonna kill again yeah exactly that especially when she's walking around time square well frank the tank is doing his hundredth wall son of sam killed six people really only number of victims six i don't know if he

killed them all so maybe he was just molesting oh no some of them were wounded but also they they think that son of sam was like multiple people oh like shakespeare exactly yeah just like that there's one guy taking credit for it yeah son of sam was interesting because he also said that his dog told him to do it and then he later on was like no i made that shit up i did it myself he was like my dog is the devil and he convinced me to to kill and then he was just like no i'm in a cult and i fucking killed those people because i felt like it cult is a sad cop out as well saying that you're just oh i just did it because everybody was doing it like you look way fucking softer yeah it's true people have a pair of fucking balls what's that dude's name berkowitz

i don't know serial killer yeah you know so much more about serial killers i'm watching mindhunter right now i just don't i just don't find any fascination in serial killers you got to find it you're gonna have to find something new to watch because football's got to get be real slow for you right now you know what i can't stand is how people always tell me I'm a serial killer. Yeah, I'm sure that would bug me too. People on stage, anytime I... Francis is a serial killer. On stage they hit you with that?

After I go on and they come on, how about that? You're a stone cold killer. But what is common to serial killers what what would make what makes me a serial killer i don't know i think it's a combination of intelligence with like a smoldering like sense of like knowing something that you don't that girl that works at barstool um she's got dark hair oh yeah yeah go ahead she's on plan breeze team she's great in payton payton yeah she said you were a serial killer and i said why and she said because you don't blink enough i could never be a serial killer then i blink constantly you are a big blinker big blinker

it actually to the point that it bothers me sometimes i feel like you you're having a stroke i can't stop myself it's like are you are you signaling for help really fucking because people say that could be tourette's that just like blinking a lot one of my buddies actually had that and he had to get like shots for it blinking Did you get here on a wagon trail that was kicking up dust? I swear to God, one of my friends, he had a tick where he would blink too much and he had to get shots for it. Was it Tourette's? It was a minor form of Tourette's, he said. And they cure it like allergies?

I guess, yeah. By the way, Tourette's does have minors and majors. It's a big swing. You can have major and minor. I remember I brought it up a while after he was like cured of it and then he started doing it and he was like it feels so good. To act on his tics?

Oh, that's cool. He was like, I gotta stop. It feels too good. Oh, that's cool. I like hearing that. Wait, was it the blinks that he was acting on? Yeah. It was like he would do this thing where he would roll his eyes like that. No, it doesn't feel that good to me.

I don't have Tourette's. I met a guy recently who had it and I didn't know that he had it because he was a minor and then he told me that he had it

and I said, no way. I tried to convince him he didn't. Yeah. I was like, you don't have, come on,

no, we didn't know and then I started noticing it and it was all I could focus on. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Really? Once you figure something out like that. Did you ever have a kid in school? Then I worried I was making him self-conscious by focusing on it so intently.

Did you ever know anyone in school that had full-blown T-Rex? There was one that just went on, I think he went on Don Lemon or some shit like that. I saw the clip, and Don Lemon was like... Was it it a comedian there's a comedian with Tourette's I don't think it was a comedian but like they made they like broke whether it was like some CNN host like someone who you would think like would be so careful and liberal about it and they're like you know what? Here's something that's weird. Certain illnesses are called after the name of, I guess, the person who first diagnoses them. Or someone famous who has it, I guess. And then others are just like cerebral palsy, epilepsy. Cerebral palsy denotes the part of the brain, cerebral or whatever. And then palsy. I don't know what the fuck that is. Maybe palsy is a guy. No, like Bell's palsy is denotes the part of the brain cerebral whatever and then palsy

I don't know what the fuck that is maybe palsy is a guy no like Bell's palsy no a palsy is like an illness but Bell is probably a guy yes and why did he get that palsy well epilepsy was two people it was epinlepsy that's the wasted one wasted that was so bad that was why why do we why do we give

tourette's syndrome it has apostrophe s it's his thing well that was two rats that was two Rets. That was two guys. Nah. That's not the same. Not the same, bro. That was your stupid ass. Bro, not even close to the same. Why did we give him that? Did you just break my couch?

No. You just sat down and I heard something snap. It just moved a little. You know, it's made of fucking kindling, dude. This couch was expensive. This couch was built to be thrown into the street after west virginia won a basketball game and burned in a riot or some shit like that this is definitely the most flammable and on purpose couch yeah it's got a nice coating of yeah you think gasoline on

like als uh would be als got turned into lou ghrig's disease. So maybe some of these diseases are just waiting for someone famous enough to get them. Why didn't AIDS become Magic Johnson disease? Because it was already around for a while before Magic Johnson had it. Fine, but Lou Gehrig's disease, I would guess, they changed it from ALS, that's probably some long scientific acronym, to Lou Gehrig's disease to raise awareness for the disease

because this was the highest profile person that had it. And it kind of softens it. Magic Johnson disease is like you don't have to be so ashamed that you've been... Magic Johnson couldn't be the face of it because he didn't die from it. But he has it. Yeah, exactly. Did Freddie Mercury die from it? You don't have to die.

I think. So Freddie Mercury's disease. Freddie Mercury's disease would work. That would be nice. Or like Queen's disease. Queen's disease. Queen's is nice Freddie Mercury's disease. Freddie Mercury's disease would work. That would be nice. Or like Queen. Queen's disease. Queen's disease. Queen's is nice. Yeah. Queen's disease. No, because if you're a straight guy that gets Queen's disease, you have to defend yourself.

Queen's could work for the gay, because there's a lot of gay dudes, too, that get it. That's the point. Yeah. That's a good one. No, no. It can't be that. I'm not pumping mics on that, bro. Alrighty.

Let's take a second to talk about better help. Around New Year's, we get obsessed about how to change ourselves, to change ourselves instead of just expanding on what we're already doing right. All right, you don't always necessarily need to change. Maybe you finally organized one part of your space and you want to tackle another. Or maybe you're taking supplements every morning and now you want to actually eat breakfast too. Therapy helps you find strength. So you can ditch the extreme resolutions to make changes that really stick. All right. I think that's a great idea. I've been to therapy before. I go to therapy still. I love therapy. It's good for me. Helps me out. Makes me feel good. Makes me reach my goals and tackle my resolutions in a more proper

way. For example, I'm probably not going to run a marathon this year, but maybe we'll run one mile a week. Something light like that. Get in shape. You know, something easy. If you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited for your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime. No additional charge. So if you don't happen to mesh well with your current therapist on BetterHelp,

you can just switch to another one for free. Sounds pretty good to me. Celebrate the progress you've already made. Visit betterhelp.com slash sun to get it today, to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash sun, to get 10% off your first month. Now back to the show.

We got ball. We got ball. A lot of ball. We got a lot of ball talk. No, no. There's got to be some other good stories that we can talk about. This is what everyone wants to hear about.

They tune into this podcast on Tuesdays to hear about the birds. No one cares about this. But the thing is, you are right. It was fun. Like, a month ago, it was very fun to talk Eagles and be like, let's talk about, like, oh, the Eagles lost to the Jets.

How funny is that? Doesn't really matter, though, because they're still going to be in the Super Bowl, obviously. You should root for them for a couple more weeks so you can get a little bit more, like, dismay out of me. No, I don't want the Eagles to lose. I don't. I like when the Eagles to lose. I don't. I like when the Eagles play good.

It's better for football. Is the last time the Eagles won the time that we went to watch the game at your place? Yeah, probably when they beat the Bills. They won one game since then on Christmas Day. The Giants. Oh, well, it looks like the Giants came for blood last night. 100%. That was crazy.

I didn't even watch the Giants. The Giants are. Yeah. 100%. That was crazy. They should have lost to the Giants. The Giants are bad. I was watching, what did I watch? I think I watched the Seahawks play instead. They suck so hard that they could make you pre-jack, E-jack, and pre-cum simultaneously. It's that hard of a suck from the Eagles. The Eagles' defense is like a butthole.

It actually sucks the offense into the end zone yes it literally is they and you know why because they fired their defensive coordinator mid-season and they're like here's someone we could add that's better a guy who used to be on the patriots fucking so you know what i was wondering what there's no way because you can't i mean you can't make changes to the coaching staff this late in the season. Well, they did already. I know, but I was thinking... Do it again? Yeah, fire Sirianni, dude.

That guy is fucking awful. I mean, the whole fan base is talking about firing him. I don't think they're going to fire him. They could get Belichick. Why the fuck would you want Belichick? Belichick would be a negative value add. If Belichick had your guys' roster, that would be a guaranteed Super Bowl victory. He would literally zap the fun out of football.

These guys are pro athletes playing a game at the highest level. Losing 27-10 to the Giants. Are you trying to have rings? What rings is Belichick winning? Six, brother. He can't win without his little system quarterback. Well, he's got your bitch-ass system quarterback now. Are you saying that black quarterbacks are not capable of success in systems the eagles following the rules the eagles franchise

has been the most open to black quarterbacks from randall cunningham to rodney pete to donovan mcnabb to michael vick to jaylen hurts of course didn't they say that if jaylen hurts was white he would be a god in philly the one mike sealski the sports writer said that that's crazy they they've been really open to black quarterbacks and yet they only let a white one win the super bowl there exactly we're racist we're racist and we don't care no i can't be racist everyone thinks we're racist and we don't care they had the goal we are racist yeah yeah they call the white guy they were like finally a quarterback with a big cock came in and won us the super bowl oh my god no i can't be racist i have a resting black voice yeah sam town said that yeah you heard that yeah that's so funny

you have resting black voice brandon texted me the other day, and he was like, he was like watching Sam Towns special. This motherfucker is funny. And I was like, hey, you should go see him. He's in Chicago right now. Brandon is the most, like, actually, I'm not going to start being nasty to people. I love Brandon.

I love Brandon. Brandon then texted me and said, when are you coming back? When are you going to do a show in Chicago? And I said, I did eight shows in Chicago two months ago. And he said, well, I couldn't go then. Really, Brandon? You couldn't go to any of the eight shows? I was there for five nights.

At every time of the day. Anytime that was your convenience. And he was in the city the entire weekend. Sad. Fool ass. Seth and I will be in Denver, Colorado. Yesado yes we will and then albany and that's in february uh yeah get tickets at francisellis.com or little sasquatch website does it change who gets the money where you where they buy the ticket so they can go to either one either

way go to either website yeah my interface is a little more user-friendly so i could you know hop he's not wrong i do myself, and I know nothing about web design. Oh, I didn't know you actually. You do yours yourself? Listen, bro. That's crazy. I don't even know who does mine. They just sent me the link one day, and they were like, it's up.

Must be nice. Yeah. Must be fucking nice, dude. See, where I save money on my website, and I put it into my home. I think my website was like $90. And that $90 is the difference in my rent and yours, which is why I live in... Squalor.

Cleanliness and you live in... I don't live in squalor and I have a rug that's coming. You live in a ground zero. This feels like a ground zero. My apartment is going to be next time. Actually, when you guys are here on Wednesday, it'll be much different. Your apartment feels like in 20 years. A lot of pictures on their way.

In 20 years, there will be commercials on TV like, Are you suffering from mesothelioma? If you went to Sass's apartment, you could be in line for financial considerations. I don't fucking know. This looks like the type of place you would find missing children. Oh, dude, don't say that. Yeah, like between the crumbs. That's crazy.

She turned up. Where was she? Well, behind Sass's radiator. This looks like a place that they would escape from. Like they would run out to the street. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Honey, where are you? I thought he was normal.

He helped me carry my groceries upstairs. I think the rug that I got is really going to just, like, piece this place together. Honestly, it's perfect when the light is like this. Francis, I don't know if you can see it right now. The denseness of the particulates that are floating in the air right now. I can. It's mystical. It looks like outer space.

It really troubles me. What does it look like in your guys' apartments? Do you just have pure air? No fucking dust? You can't see the air. You can't see yourself getting sick. You don't have to slice through the air with a knife. You could literally cut the tension with a knife in this room.

If someone farted right now, it would all go whoosh. Right, we could probably see. I farted over there. I know, I smelled it. You brought it back over here. I walked over to pretend i got a drink to pretend to look for a seltzer i knew there was no seltzer in the fridge you brought back the fart it's crazy how much air you can see and some of the particulates are big there's

probably particulates that were at 9 11 in the air right now there's probably some of the same exact point did you guys know that if you scoop up a a handful of water from the ocean and put it to your ear you can actually hear the screams of the past of the titanic um did you guys go titanic yeah that makes it okay yeah yeah you can definitely make fun of the titanic yeah you can make fun of it bingo bingo dude did you guys see this video on twitter of the uh of the dude in the tribe of the cannibals no you didn't see this is it was like it's an old oh yes i have seen that guy and and they're the dude the dude's voice the i can't stop like listening to the dude's voice. I can't stop listening to the dude's voice. Pull up the video. He's like...

The cannibal. Yeah. Sounds like a droid. That's what he sounds like. It's actually a spot-on impression if you look up the video. It's like... It's this dude. It keeps coming up on my Twitter.

And it's this CNN reporter who went out to... Where is it? In India somewhere? Papua New Guinea? I don't know where it is. And he's... They're cannibals. And he's like like why are all these people afraid of you and he's like because we because we eat people over here and then he's like uh and then the reporter he asked another question

and the the leader of their tribe he goes and then he and then in subtitles goes stop talking so much or i will cut your head off who the fuck is translating that yeah how they i don't know and then and then the reporter he goes and then he and then he waves over the director and he goes i think this might have been a mistake did you say maybe we maybe we could cause some sort of distraction and i could sneak out of here wow and then the reporter looks at the dude and he goes i want to see how this plays out with the director yeah he looks at the reporter goes i think we should see how this plays out do they after the guy said i'm gonna chop your head off if you keep talking do they eat him no but apparently he ate human brains in the video the reporter the cnn

dude wow he went yeah and apparently apparently like destroyed his career that's very respectful culturally yeah but uh to roll up your sleeves and yeah that's what the wild boys would have did that's what chris pontius and steve-o would have did in that same situation that's true but at a certain point isn't that like not good eating brains i think you just don't tell people outside of a dinner party yeah they shouldn't have put out the video. Right. They shouldn't have posted that on CNN.com. When we say something nasty on the podcast we just cut that shit out.

No, no, no, no, no. That's something that we cut out. But I can't believe that they made it out of that Cannibal Island. Yeah. that's something that we cut out but i can't believe that they made it out of that uh cannibal island yeah hey sober dry january i'm in it yeah we are you're in the middle of almost done i were i had i i enjoyed a very nice heineken zero the other night we are almost done it's january january 8th uh i this weekend was the hardest that you was it did it have something to do with the hot tub full of gays that you were in that made this weekend so no i must have laughed you away you know what i had this weekend were

a couple of those like thc seltzers oh yeah yeah did they get you fucked up? No, not at all. I get THC coffee and it literally does nothing. That's because you guys are both addicts. I haven't smoked weed in ages because it makes your sperm less motivated and I need mine practicing. He needs his sperm doing calisthenics like the Afghani army.

Yes. Like doing mismatched jumping jacks and doing like barbell climbs and shit like that. I don't know. Just move. That's why you need your sperm on, yeah? He needed his sperm like the honeycomb fucking. Talking to the eggs. That's what happened in Glee.

That's what the sperm were like in Glee.'s how they they were in the hot tub like underwater like real warriors we should get that as a button that should be a button let me find the fucking uh wait do a clean one do a clean one so we can use as a button no i'll just find that i want to find the dude's voice all right while you're looking for that dry dry January, went out to dinner on Friday, all gung-ho, week was easy, felt, oh, man, you wake up, you slept so well, you're clean, you're not thirsty, I'm feeling good.

Friday night, weekend comes around. There's something about the weekend where you just tell yourself, I've made it, I deserve a drink. Is that R. Kelly song where he's like, it's the freaking weekend, baby. I'm about to have me some fun. Exactly. And that's what you were on.

You were like, I'm about to have me some fun. We went out to dinner. Pour up. Three of us at the dinner were not drinking. We were all doing dry January. The two other people did not even know. Waitress comes around and says, can i get you guys a drink they both ordered empire state sours like whiskey sour drinks that looked fucking incredible that does

sound good incredible and it got to us it was like yeah we'll have uh i'll do water we'll treat ourselves with like a bottle of seltzer and that's your problem, though. If you're going to do dry January, you can't be drinking just water. But then I've complained. You've got to have like a sody. I've complained to people about, or I've voiced my complaints about the nightmare that is dry January. And everyone comes back and says, well, that's why you've got to do edibles. And then you've got to do this. I wanted to see if I could do it not with weed.

Because if I just. Yeah, if you just transfer over to another addiction. I'm not really smoking weed. So if I replace drinking with another stimulant, then... Yeah, honestly, dude, I don't even know why you're doing it. I feel like your drinking is pretty under control. You're a very responsible drinker. Doing it has made me think I have a bigger problem than I have ever felt as a drinker.

It is annoying. Because it made me want to drink so badly. Yeah, but anytime you can't drink, you want to drink. It's annoying when you go to a restaurant like that and you try to order a mocked. Everyone's ordering their drink and you try to order a mocktail. You're like, I'll have the bee sting. And they're like, oh, something off our non-alcoholic menu. And they make you, like you're trying to'll have the bee sting and they're like oh something off our non-alcoholic menu and they make you like you're trying to sneak one by because if you could just be at the table with

like a cocktail looking mocktail and then then it wouldn't really feel like you're doing this whole thing right where you have to let everybody know that like you know yeah i've been in scenarios where i want to just like i i don't want to bring attention to the fact that I'm not drinking and get interrogated and have people think that I'm making some big life, I just don't feel like drinking that day. Well, that's why I really like those Athletic Brewing Company non-alcoholic beers. Those are good. I had those on Christmas.

Which I posted a story. They sent me a case, so I threw up an Instagram story saying how much I liked them. And within 30 seconds, Sass had texted me. He goes, how much did they pay you to post that? And I was like, nothing. And he goes, oh, you just did it for Love the Game? And I'm like, yeah, I actually quite like these products. No free ads, but.

But, yeah. That means 10 racks? That's what that means? No. Why would he lie to you? I truly did not get a dollar for No. Why would he lie to you? I truly did not get a dollar for that. Why would he lie to you? He's been so forthcoming with any type of financial advice

any time you've ever asked for it. That's really true. That's nasty. I don't think that's offensive to do at all that's basically like you're allowed to ching chong chang whoa i says basically like that not even close to the same no if someone does something bad enough you're allowed to be mean in mean to them what are you talking like you can make fun of steven Hawking now because he's a pedophile. Oh. Yeah. You can call him that wheelchair bitch.

I find that offensive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That plays now, dude. You're allowed to do that. And since these guys, but it's within their culture to do that. But if it's their religion, you can't make fun of somebody's religion.

Oh, hold on a second, Rowan. In the days after Hamas attacked Israel, I let my anti-Islamic flag fly with freedom I had not felt since 9-11. And everybody was like, good for you. Yes, we hate them too. That's crazy. As the days wear on, you're going to have to tuck it back in, you know? Yes, exactly. Well, then you have to transfer over to Judaic hate. I don't even remember when 9-11 happened.

I don't remember having any anger towards Islamic people. 2001. I remember just being so scared. The thought of hating someone else never even crossed my mind. My immediate thought was, like, is my family safe? Is my family no that's my immediate thought is my family so not there is my family safe are my friends safe that was the only thing going through my head that's a sign that you 100 weren't there just fucking so scared even the halal carts were like we serve hamburgers and hot dogs now yep freedom fries freedom toast you boys have a problem and that problem is called racism

don't even say that and let me how about that i can help you what are you guys are you doing dry january no i got shit faced this weekend and you're i dude i i want to so badly what about you only on one night though how long have i been sober for i thought you would never ask what 50 days now i don't know 49 days they might be 49 days dude then one guy i know it's 40 46 days one guy we were at the dinner with caved and said okay i'm not doing dry january anymore but instead what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna do only drinking on the weekends all the way from January through February. That's the one you should be drinking anyway.

He tacked on a month, but he allows himself the weekends. That's like when dudes quit the military and they have to ring the bell. He quit right at the table. He rang the bell. He rang the bell right there. First weekend. First weekend, he threw in the towel. I still think it was so Sonny Francis.

It was like get in the Pacific and link arms. We were three days into dry January and you were like we're halfway through. I mean I don't think there's a chance that I make it all the way through. You don't need to. We're going to drag you across the finish line

if we have to. Well I just don't see the point anymore and it's only a weekend, which makes me think that I have a problem. Well, Sass, you're enabling him by being like, you don't even have a problem. Because we can't have two sober guys on the podcast. I'm not going to go full sober. That doesn't work for the dynamic. Dude, I have a wine fridge up there.

I was pulling the wine racks out and just turning them over and reading the nutrition facts on a bottle of wine i read the surgeon general's warning that's crazy look at the tannins maybe you do have a problem but i don't think you have a problem i think you just like that shit i love drinking that's what i used to do like on the toilet before smartphones i'd be like reading the ingredients of the toilet paper and shit like that that's how i know you never fucking that that you never experienced 9-11 bro you wouldn't know how to shit if you didn't have a smartphone you never poop i don't even bring my phone to the dude when i'm shitting it's so aggressive you can't be on your phone there can't be distractions the full focus has to be

both your hands bracing you on this yeah are we gonna get you back to drinking ever i don't know we'll see i've really had haven't had much of an urge. Except when I went home for Christmas, on Christmas Eve, I had an urge. But I just drank those athletic brewing beers. When are we going to drink together again? If you want to grow this podcast, we have to drink again. My birthday is in March, 35. Really?

You're April, right? Yes. Yeah, both of us. Are you 35 in April? 36. Wow. Bruh. Maybe we could do a big boozy dinner or something.

That would be fun. Go back to Fort Charles Prime. Fort Charles Prime rib. It's just three guys. We should get Gaz out there with us. Gaz should gift us a... He was at Fort Charles Prime recently. Gaz face fucked me over there.

Really? Yeah, he asked me to get him a reservation i got him a reservation and it was at 7 30 i sent him the reservation confirmation and at 7 55 the restaurant called me and they were like where are you and i was like oh and then i called gaz and he had just realized that he had the time wrong and he was trying to go at eight at which point my credibility had sunk and they'd given the table away and now my god they realized he was the guest so he walked in at eight and they were like we're really sorry we gave the table away but we want to make this right. Give me your phone number. And now he has the clout with the restaurant and I, my name is sullied.

Damn. That's true. Everything I just said is true, by the way. They realized he was the guest. And he just gave away a fucking reservation to Dukes for the Secret Santa thing. And so that was on the new credit that he got from your credit.

Oh, they got Duggs going there. Your credibility is done. That's not on me. It's on Gaz. It's on Gaz. But Gaz now has the clout to get reservations for people like Duggs, who's going to show up with a yo-yo. He's going to show up in a lacrosse penny.

Yeah. He's going to come out with his fucking frisbee and like, where's the bathroom? Some Birkenstocks. Is anyone going to shotgun a with his fucking frisbee and like, where's the bathroom? Some Birkenstocks. So anyone got a shotgun of Fort Lefkoe? That's not at all what Duke sounds like. That's Dukes. That's exactly what he sounds like.

Oh, man. Dan, do you guys, what do you want to talk about? Joe Coy at the Academy or whatever? What's the skinny on that? Did you guys watch that? He was incredible. What? He bombed?

I thought he bombed. No, he was incredible. Was he? I didn't watch it. I just saw on Twitter everyone was saying that he bombed. That or the guy with the button penis. Button penis is funny. Oh, yeah, button penis.

Button penis was great. Go there. I don't know much about it. I just keep seeing the photo. Did you see the photo of him walking out or did you see the video of him swimming i saw the video of him swimming and the video of him walking out his penis is uh it's not there it's so remarkable yeah he's got that shit tucked it reminded me of the guy who uh climbed the pole after the eagles made the super bowl last year yeah yeah yeah but it's smaller it was smaller than that guy actually had like a protruding like

a thing yeah coming out this guy really just has like uh no there was no penis i thought i thought he went into the water and tucked the penis have you ever seen that when uh howard stern had all the men on with that with micro penises no he has a lineup of men who come on his show with micro penises and i remember there was one guy whose penis was unlegitimately not visible it was inside and he has in order to pee so that he doesn't pee all over himself he had to pull his skin of his stomach back to then have it come out in order to pee. He fishes his dick out like a magician. That's crazy. That is... With a ribbon down your throat.

That's a handicap. You can't have sex. No. God no. You could probably get fucked by a dude in the front. It'd be way easier if you were gay. He has closer to a vagina than a penis At that point if his penis goes inwards It's an inverted penis Which must be nice if you want to hide

The fact that you have a penis If you want to just screw some tits onto yourself And hide the fact that you have a penis I feel like that would be the most ideal situation As opposed to if you had a A salt burn cough If he got like the bottom surgery They would probably just take out a nail clipper.

Yeah, like they're getting a callus off. They just sand his dick down. I watched Salt Burn. Yeah, did you like it? I liked it. No, you didn't. It didn't bother me that it was so similar to... Mr. Ripley.

Mr. Ripley, because Mr because mr ripley he wants to become mr ripley saltburn he wants to own the house he kills the whole family spoiler alert i thought it was enough of a twist it's like this devious thing to get rid of everyone so that he can i thought he the I thought, oh, he's in love with the guy from Euphoria. What do you think about the fact that it was like unearned, edgy moments? That movie was

trash. That's the hill you've been on, right? Yeah, that it's just nasty for the sake of being nasty. I thought the bathtub scene was pretty unbecoming. Did you hear Joey and Pat talking about the bathtub scene was pretty unbecoming. Did you hear Joey and Pat talking about the bathtub scene? No. They were like, at least I want to see the cum that he's sucking down.

Don't dilute the cum so much. If he's going to suck down a bathtub full of cum, let it be a full bathtub dense with cum, not just a little bit of cum in the fucking water. That makes me want to throw up. The period scene was pretty gross. I didn't think the period scene was nearly as gross. Really?

I could throw up right now thinking about it. It was fucking disgusting. Why? It was nasty. So you're homophobic, bro. That's not homophobic, dude. No, you're the homophobic one. Even just like the bathtub drain, that's nasty. I love gay people, but if a woman tries to share her period situation,

I get back in the kitchen. That made me dislike that actor. I don't like that actor anymore. Sorry, dude. Dunkirk was ass too. Fuck you. I have a boy who was in a situation like that and he turned his into a tribal war paint. That's smart.

I just thought the movie was... Also, I'm not saying... I didn't say... I don't dislike the actor because of the cum thing. Are you good? Yeah. If you spread any more of that fucking blood on your face, I'm going to cut your head off and eat it. Seasoning. I think this was a bad idea.

Could you distract them while I get out of here? So was the director just trying to leave and like leave the journalist there? No, I think the director wanted to stay. how are they going to distract them like throw a fucking steak over there yeah probably quick throw a fucking human brain quick cut your thumb off yeah yeah give them just a little taste just a taste of the blood they probably sniff you down like hounds i mean those dudes i don't. I feel like the director would probably take those dudes pretty easily. No. What?

They're literal hunter-gatherers. Yeah, but they were tiny. They're little mini-men. Yeah, because they're malnourished. They need more brain. Yeah. It's probably hard to survive on fucking just human flesh. Yeah, man cannot survive on flesh alone.

I think Jesus said that. Did he? Was that right? Oh, bread alone. But his bread was that. Did he? Was that right? Oh, bread alone. But his bread was flesh. So, basically the same thing. The body of Christ. Body.

And the soul. And the blood. And the blood. Amen. Let's talk ball for a minute. We just talked ball. We already talked ball. We barely talked ball.

I was about to say this has been Son of the Boy Dad. But we barely talked ball. What are you talking about? What more do you want to talk about? Me and Francis were talking great ball before you got here. And we literally were saying I'm going to have to bleep that out again. We were literally saying, we were like

dude, we sat here, right here, and we were like it's not even like fun to make fun of the Eagles anymore because they're the worst team in the NFL. I've never seen a team, I mean, It sounds like you're having some fun making fun of the Eagles anymore because they're the worst team in the NFL. I've never seen a team... Crumble. It sounds like you're having some fun making fun of them.

It sounds like you're having a blast over here. I'm not enjoying this at all. 10-0 is their start? They were 10-0? 10-1. 10-1? You don't know. They lost to the Jets.

I forgot. New York owns Philly. Go back to the beginning of the season. Remember? We all thought... First of all, we thought the Cowboys who beat the Giants 40-0 on the opening game were going to be the best team in the NFL. Yeah. Then we thought the Dolboys who beat the Giants 40-0 on the opening game were going to be

the best team in the NFL yeah then we thought the Dolphins were the best team in the NFL yeah and now then we thought the 49ers

when they beat the Eagles were the best team in the NFL yes and it's been and then we thought the Ravens when they beat the 49ers were the best team in the NFL the Ravens are probably

the best team in the NFL the Ravens are the best team in the NFL but then the Ravens lost to the Steelers yes with all of their backups Ravens lost to the... Steelers? Yes. With all of their backups playing?

They lost to the Steelers. And it was still like a good game? And the Steelers lost to the Eagles last season. Bro, it's curtains. It's curtains. All right, bro. See, I would never take joy in your downfall. I'm not taking joy

In this I just See whenever you Post a stand up clip On the internet I'm like Let me share that Whenever you have a show

I'm like Let me show up For his show Whenever you have Like a podcast idea That you want I'm like Let me produce this podcast

Let's try and make This shit pop off But then I want to hear your input What do you think What do you think The solution is They suck dick

So what do you think Is going to happen next week They'll win You think so I mean I want them hear your input. What do you think? What do you think the solution is? They suck dick. So what do you think is going to happen next week? They'll win. You think so? I mean, I want them to win still. Sorry that I'm rooting for my team. No, obviously I want them to win still too. You want to drag me?

You want to draw me and quarter me? Rake me by the coals? Fucking rip my body apart? Is AJ Brown going to play next week? I hope so. They need him. Winstead Churchin? Yeah, Winstead Churchin is probably going to play.

Winston Churchill. Who do you think is going gonna be in the super bowl probably eagles realistically chiefs eagles chiefs rematch wow that'd be good i think that would be fun this week dolphins are yeah i mean the chiefs yeah it would be nicer if the eagles were having competitive games against good teams yeah they're got that the last two good teams they played were the Cowboys and the 49ers, and they got smoked. And then they had a competitive game against the Giants. They won a competitive game against the Cardinals and lost, which are both bad teams. And then they got smoked by the Giants, who are a bad team. So it's like everything is trending in the worst possible way, this descending stairway.

What do you think the Giants, do you think the Eagles went into that Giants game being like? Is this an interview where you're just peppering me with fucking questions? Do you think the Eagles went? Like it's a fucking press conference. Do you think the Eagles went into the Giants game being like, this is going to be a breeze, let's not practice or train hard? No, they're fundamentally fractured.

The guys that they hired are dunces. The coaching staffs are rubes. They don't understand the fundamental reasons why the football players play football. They have fucking our best pass rusher dropping into coverage 90% of the time. The offense can't do shit. The defense can't stop anybody. But we got Darius like, yo, you got something else to do, bro? Yeah, a Bill Belichick alert came up.

I got a notification on my phone, but I didn't look at it. Well, mine made like a weird noise, which doesn't usually happen. Your phone said... Honestly, the Eagles need to do something fucking fundamentally different to change.

It would be awesome if they won the Super Bowl now after going through this. We could make it through everything. Dude, I would make your life hell if they won the Super Bowl. Then Sirianni can go, can't hear you now, Chiefs fans. That is a good impression. And then go 0-18 next season. For one Super Bowl, I would definitely take 0-18.

If they won a Super Bowl, I would take 0-18. For sure. That would be huge. That would be fucking huge, dude. How long does one Super Bowl carry you? I think two or three seasons. I mean, if they went 0-18 for two seasons straight after winning a Super Bowl, he'd get fired. No, I'm saying you as a fan.

Like, when did the Rams win the Super Bowl two years ago? When did the Rams win the Super Bowl? Are you still feeling like, I've had a good experience as an Eagles fan lately? No, because they got close last year under a new regime so it's like that was supposed to be my new one that was supposed to be my reset but that wasn't the new one you guys lost to the chiefs and they should have it was close enough where they could have won the game yeah but this is new regime you know what i mean that was like wow we are we have a good team and this year is going to be even better and you felt that way through the first 11 weeks of the season i know i felt like we had we were the favorite and i've

done such a good job of dissociating from my feelings about it and then i come into here and i'm just fucking reminded of every one of the feelings it's like those are doing good though right yeah they are yeah but it's like a nasty ex breaks up with you or something like that and you just do everything you delete every picture of him and then fucking him Timothy pause bro and then then he comes back into your life because all your friends keep on reminding you how big and nice his dick was yeah it's like you have that's fact wiped your eye cloud shattered every picture frame of how fucking hot he was and how much fun you guys had together. And then all your friends are like,

but didn't you say his dick was big? Like, didn't you say you loved his big, big dick? Didn't you enjoy making him pre-cum? Yeah. Well, good luck to the Eagles. We wish them the best in this upcoming week. I might be going to Chicago to stream it on Monday.

Really? Yeah. So we might have to record another one on Friday. On Friday or Thursday. Thursday or Friday in preparation for that. Or you guys could do one without me.

Your guys call. All right. We'll figure it out. All right. We'll see everybody on Wednesday. Thank you for listening. Goodbye. Goodbye.