Son of a Boy Dad - Always Judge a Pilot By His Cigarettes feat. Are You Garbage Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 97

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Kevin Ryan and H. Foley of the Are You Garbage Podcast join the show to talk about shark attacks, catching foul balls ettiequte, Hawaii, BB guns, lobsters, and a bunch of other stuff. Before they hop in the studio, we talk about vintage stores in NYC vs small local towns, Sas gets humiliated at the Denver airport, and we find out about the cocaine to xanax pipeline. Enjoy. Ads: Betterhelp This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to https://barstool.link/SONbetterhelp for 10% off your first monthYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, what's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. We got a fantastic episode lined up for you guys today. We got the boys from RU Garbage coming in, and they come in hot. First 30 minutes, just going to be me and ron just fucking

catching up shooting the shit just playing around and then uh bonjour amigo you know stay tuned for bond more bonjour amigo bonjour amigos um bienvenidos al son of a boy dad bro when is your rap battle? February What's the date? 26th or something February 26th Bonjour amigo Bonjour amigo We'll be taking the stage

I am the bonjour amigo I'm gonna be in Plano, Texas this weekend And then Boston, Massachusetts The weekend after But that's neither here nor there First let's get to some First let's get to some fucking riffing Some light conversation

Followed up by some intense conversation With the RU Garbage Boys You may have seen them On YouTube Why don't you finish this sentence alright You keep on extending this sentence A little bit longer And the RU Garbage Boys are going to make an appearance on this episode

And I can't tell when you're done Alright Why don't you say a little bit longer. And the RU Average boys are going to make an appearance on this episode. And I can't tell when you're done. All right. Why don't you say adios, mon frere. Adios, mon frere. Yeah. What does mon frere mean? My brother.

Adios, mon frere. And bonjour, amigo. And bonjour, amigo. We'll see you guys in this episode. Thank you for listening. Oh, make sure you like and subscribe as well.

Yes. Make sure you subscribe and like the episode. Helps us out a lot. If you haven't subscribed to Son of a Boy Dad, well, subscribe now. Bonjour, amigo. Bonjour, amigo. Welcome back to the podcast.

I like this vibe. Yeah, I'm ditching. We're ditching the Son of a Boy Dad bullshit. Actual conversation. Actual conversation. Real, real. No slapstickstick we're taking it slow today nothing over the top no nothing over the top just hopping right in cold open we're meeting you where you're at yeah i'm here brother i know i could tell you're present as hell today yeah i mean i uh i'm a, I gotta get over the sleepiness post gym, but I think it's

coming soon. But I mean, it's the fact that you went to the gym. Yeah. Today it did feel a little bit, a little bit more like, uh, like, uh, I felt better after. Yeah. I felt like I was more there. Sharp. I went to the, I went to the psychiatrist and he, uh, he gave me a prescription of five sets

12 reps on the incline dead press. He said that should sort you out bro. That should lick that depression that you got. I was doing a lot of bar work today. No dumbbells. What benefit does that give for you? What does that mean? Because obviously

the dumbbells will really even you out. I felt like I was doing a lot of compound movements really working the whole body that's the best way to just fucking beat yourself up i had the core nice and engaged yeah i had to teach the triceps a lesson sat him down said you've been misbehaving time to punish you. Did they take to their- With a quick three by eight. Light. Fast. That's light. Been lifting light recently.

Still working off that rust before I go back to heavy. Are you talking about light reps or light weight? Light weight. Just more high reps. Sets of eight and sets of 10 rather than five. Five and, yeah, five to Yeah 5 You used to be a big 5 by 5 guy I'm 12 reps dude

12 reps is good Yeah I'm only definition Yeah I'm kind of going For more definition Especially because I don't really feel like I need to put on masks

I'm so fucking fat I don't really think There's any mask That needs to be had You do too many curls And your fucking Guts gonna be looking big Yeah

So I'm going right now. It's looking like three by eights. Are you getting it in on the road? That's going to be my next step, starting to go back to the hotel gym. Hotel gyms. I think I'm going to try this weekend. Where are you going? Plano, Texas.

Jesus Christ, bro. Yeah. Does your agent have a vendetta against you? I don't know No but it's actually Pretty I didn't know how close It was to Dallas Plano

Oh yeah It is close It's actually nice It's not But No it's like It was Or where I went in Plano

Was super well developed Oh really We like stayed We stayed there When we were doing Storm chaser shit A lot of fellas Coming out

And a lot of them Are hitting me up Being like Let's black out After the show And I'm like i don't have that in me at all dude i'm pretty sure you do i quit i'm off the drinking bullshit i've gotten a lot more controlled with my drinking it's gonna get steady buzz you're like those irish gangsters who stop drinking whenever they're about to get into a fight because they know that they're sharper and you just know that you have to play pool later on that night. I finally played with my buddy Bo and we were, we had been in a little bit of a tie just every time we played, it'd be like, he'd win, I'd win, he'd win, I win. And then we, uh, finally on Sunday we sat down at a pool table and we played and I beat him five times in a row and then he forfeited he said i don't want to play anymore i mean you have been in the fucking dojo breaking boards no i haven't

been playing as much because i haven't really been going out on the weekdays as much on friday after that uh whatever the race we did you're like yeah i gotta go meet francis at a pool hall well i'm late for my pool yeah me and francis had plans yeah that was uh that was the first time i played in a couple weeks i think and that's just you going against the best you know what i mean yeah francis is really good he needs to he needs to shape you up you know you need to go against him so you can get as good as possible but i really feel like i had a kind of broke through in my game this week i really slowed things down because my biggest problem is I line up the ball the right way, but then I launch it and then it hits like a tiny thing and it fucks it up.

But I really slowed things down this weekend and I was hitting a lot of good shots. I think. Really? Yeah. I was playing my ass off. Damn. Yeah. I think that you just have gotten to the point where it's muscle memory

like all the it's the same thing as the gym dude all the work that you're putting in every time you go it's not like you're gonna leave the gym big as fuck that day you're putting in pool work right now that you're gonna use a year from now yeah my thing is that I get really obsessed

with one thing and then I focus all my energy on that so like I obsessed with one thing and then i and then i focus all my energy on that so like i i'm trying to find i need to find a good in between for the gym because when i get into the gym i get like it's all i think about is the gym and i'm like well i can't eat that there's one carb in that that's gonna set me over for the day yeah maybe just think about it as lifting instead of like getting skinny i think i'm just gonna think about it i just gotta do cardio and lift. Yeah.

See where it takes me. Yeah. You just, you just don't want to look gross too. Yeah. And just not eat like shit. Cause people are starting to talk. Yeah. People are talking. Erica and Dave brought me in.

I said, he's got to fix something or else he's not getting rehired or resigned. Gaz emailed Blattman and Chase and then they brought me in with a meeting with Erica and Dave. Luckily I'm going to be here for a while cause I, apparently I accidentally signed like a latman and chase and then they brought me in with a meeting with erica and yeah and dave luckily i'm gonna be here for a while because i apparently i accidentally signed like a 17 year contract like i haven't renegotiated my contract in like a decade i know so many changes every week they're like two more years global warming has a fine print in the contract that i signed when i signed it i was under the

impression it was a year and then like the year hit and i was like it's time to ask for a raise and i pulled up the contract and it was like five years i was like jesus what uh language was it in i don't know the person that i signed it with is now no longer working here so what do you mean the person you signed it with? Well, because back when I signed it, you didn't have to talk to Erica and Dave. There'd be like five different people that you could talk to. Well, why didn't you just read it though? Because I did.

And then they changed it on me. Well, then that's illegal. But I'm fine with it. Like I'm happy to be here. I'm not going anywhere. I don't know. You just brought it up saying how long you're going to stay here for. It seems like you were just looking at your contract. It's funny how long my contract is when I had no idea that's how long it was, which

is my fault, I think. They were just pulling out your contract like a magician pulling stuff out of the mountain. It just kept on going. Yeah. The contract just gets more and more massive. Yeah. What can you do, though? Just fucking blessed.

I mean, you should renegotiate it If it's bothering you so much It doesn't bother me at all I'm very content It's Dually Clubhouse It sounds Yeah It really doesn't bother me

I'm happy with where I'm at Yeah you're happy at home Yeah You must be making so much money on the road though I heard Theo pulled you up on stage this weekend. Yeah, he did. He doesn't have any jokes for you tonight. Just know this guy's next up.

This guy's fucking next. Yeah. Damn. Did you meet him? No. That's bullshit. My buddy Bo did. How did Bo meet him?

I was taking a shit. Nuh-uh. Yeah. No way. And I was worried that Bo was going to meet him. And he did. What did he say? I have no idea.

Were you worried that he was... I was worried he was going to say something dumb. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes with your friends, you really don't know. He always says something dumb. Apparently he didn't. Any examples? Like, what do't know he always says something dumb apparently he didn't any examples like what do you mean he always says something dumb he's a very curious person so he'll ask dumb questions well i brought him to the stand

for on new year's eve inside a show and he's just asking the bartender john like a thousand questions it's like so what time are you going to get home tonight and he's like i don't know dude and like when we close why do you think he's so curious i don't know he's just a curious guy you think he's bi bi curious maybe maybe you should you should see i should ask him you should just flat out ask him yeah are you bi text him right now why not dude i was sleeping on this tiny fucking bed all weekend like uh that's the worst you know what we actually did do that was fun was me and him went fishing and we we like we went he's a big fly fisher we went in and we like put the waders on we got in there what are waders they're like the full body, like suits.

That's kind of sweet. Like your chest. Overalls. Yeah. We were like in the water, like up to our waist. It was cool. That is sweet. Being in the water and not getting wet.

Yeah. That's awesome. It still gets cold. Yeah. I guess that makes sense. You got to get the real, apparently like the Patagonia ones are like the best ones. And apparently those ones don't get as cold.

I did get you a gift. Yeah. Waiters. Patagoniaia patagonia waiters i knew you wanted him man i talked to your buddy bo yeah no i don't want him he wants him yeah dude let's let's get let's go in on some patagonia waiters yeah do you want to not at all why not dude i spent so much money this weekend yeah because you're mr big shot among all your college-aged friends no i wasn't spending money on them i had to spend money on myself just to get there or were you going to nice dinners no just to get there and then i changed my flight because they canceled the yak and i was under the impression that we were doing a yak

yesterday and so you got back for it no so, so I changed my flight yesterday, or two days ago on Sunday, and then I... It was a lot of money, and I couldn't get refunded on my ticket, but I was like, I'm not going home today. These Patagonia waders are only $549. Oh, really? I expected them to be more. I think they just last forever. I don't think you ever need to get new ones. You expect them to be thousands of dollars?

I expect them to be like a thousand. Well, are we going halves on some waders? Yeah, yeah. Let's get some waders for sure. Do you want to? No. Because I'll buy them right now. You could just Venmo me.

I don't want waders. I'm saying for him. No scenario where I'd ever need waders. For him. For your friend. For when I go fly fishing in the Hudson. Yeah. In the East River.

Yeah. In Central Park. It's just like waders on going out to the rats. You'd get out of the ocean and your waders would be like disintegrating. Yeah. In the East River. Yeah. In Central Park, it's just like waders on going out to the rats. You'd get out of the ocean and your waders would be like disintegrating. Yeah. You'd have to squeeze like the fucking human bones out from the bottom. Yeah. Squeeze the rats that fell into your waders.

Dude, they hang the waders from this like pole in their basement. And every time I would go downstairs, I would thought, I thought it looked like a group of people like that, like were hanging from the ceiling. They have like feet. Like there's like thought it looked like a group of people like that, like were hanging from the ceiling. They have like feet. Like there's like, it's like a full body. Yeah. I guess you only see like, you'd be walking down the stairs and you'd only see like feet dangling from the ceiling.

It was horrifying. Bo? Yeah. Say something, Bo. Yeah. In the Wizard of Oz, you ever see that scene in the wizard of oz where like they're skipping down the road and there's like supposed supposedly the munchkins dangling in the background they claim that that's not real yeah they claim it definitely is because they would

have a fucking fat lawsuit on their hands using the munchkins on set yeah they were yeah they're making them work unspeakable hours they were beating the fuck out of them yeah they were the set designers that were just kept in cages. Yeah. They just feed them fucking... What were the munchkins? Were they kids? No, bro, they were just small adults. Yeah, I think they were like, not even just garden variety

little people, but... Yeah, what were they? I think that they were like maybe different types of non-classical dwarfism. Oh, okay. Interesting. non-classical dwarfism. Oh, okay. Interesting. Not like the dwarfism.

There's probably, man, I wish I knew more about dwarfism. They were probably like running experiments on them. Like they would do anything for a movie back then. Yeah. They were probably like, well, if we sawed his thighs off and then just glued his knees to his chest. Just dunk him in some radiation for 45 minutes and see what happens. Yeah. I mean, they were abusing the fuck out of that girl.

Wanna be in a movie, son? Yeah. Right this way. Dude, they would, like, have her on a shit... Step into my microwave. They would have her on, like, a shit ton of, like, uh, like, uppers. Who, Judy Garland? Yeah. And then, like, when she wasn't filming for, like, 10 minutes, they would just fill her up with Xanax and just

put her out. That's probably the best way to do it. It was crazy. And it was all her mom. Really? Yeah, I think it was all of her. I think her mom did the whole thing. She was like 16 in the movie, wasn't she?

But it's probably the best way to just get someone on and off set. She was probably going to be throwing tantrums and fucking thinking for herself. Yeah. I wouldn't mind if someone just did that for me all day. That would be awesome. Just shut down when I get home Just hook myself up to some sort of morphine drip And then just wake up the next day

And be like alright time to go to the yak Leave in the office for the day Just like hook an IV into your arm Recharge Pass out, get slid into a pod You could save a lot on rent If you didn't give a fuck What you look like Yeah

I think that's what they were Talking about in the Matrix You probably wouldn't Like gain a lot of weight If you were just on a morphine drip For 16 hours of the day Hibernate for a bunch of the day Just be skinny as fuck

Yeah No reason to be eating Into the wee hours of the night Yeah There's no reason Honestly I think Like anytime I skip a meal I'm like

Oh fuck I'm gonna be so fucking hungry And I'm going to be so fucking hungry. And I'm just not. No, I haven't eaten anything today. Yeah. Except for protein. Just pure synthetic protein. Synthetic?

That fake shit? Yeah. Some powder? Milks and bars. How'd you take it? I ate a protein bar this morning before going to the gym. And then I had my second energy drink of the day after the gym and then i had uh three sips of a muscle milk and then i explosive diarrhea

and now we're here you need one of those uh muscle cookies to back you up those things are foul things do not taste like cookies yeah you have this weird like metallic taste to them they taste like the mummy returns yeah those things are disgusting they're also not good for you yeah they're like 600 calories they're cookies yeah yeah they're just regular cookies that someone just put protein in you saw lex friedman's uh like new year's resolution was to have one cookie this year among other things he was like i want to have like read like 85 books like fucking like play 20 000 hours of jujitsu and have one cookie for the entire year there's been very small occasions where i've only had one cookie especially for

a fucking year like if i'm having a cookie, I'm having like seven cookies. Yeah. I'm getting a glass of milk and I'm having a lot of cookies. There's damn near no cookie that I'm not going to have more than one of. And that's like one of those big ones. But the big ones are the homemade ones are better than any cookie you can buy. Homemade chocolate chip. Yeah.

Pillsbury. Yeah. Out of just like the tube. Yeah. Those are better than any cookie that you can buy. If you do them right. If you undercook them. If you overcook them, you should just throw them all right in the trash. Yeah.

And I'm not even like. No, a crunchy cookie is disgusting. Not like hyperbole. Like just throw that batch in the trash because like the tube is like 249. Just get another one and redo it again. Just undercook them. I don't even know if we did the two. My mom and my sister always make cookies and I don't think they do the two.

I think they make it from. Just the squares or they make them from scraps. They make them from scraps. Yeah. Just cookie from scraps. Yeah. best way to do it is butter and the more i learn about butter and salt yes salt and butter you need salt but you can have salted butter and that shit is delicious you're gonna want salt in your butter irish butter i've been hearing crazy things about irish butter never heard of it French butter is like clearly better butter. They have the fucking stick butter.

Yeah, of course. French has some good shit. But I think the garden variety stick butter that we're getting might be buns. It is. Yeah. You got to churn it yourself. Or like keep it like just out on the countertop kind of hot. Yeah.

It shouldn't be in the fridge. Yeah. It needs to be room temp. Just like dritop kind of hot. Yeah, it shouldn't be in the fridge. Yeah. It needs to be room temp. Just like drippy kind of melting butter. That's the shit. Whenever you get to a restaurant that has that. Yeah. Bro, I went to this fucking vintage shop

that's only open on Saturdays this weekend. It looked like a fucking, what was that face about? It's just a dumb thing to do. I know. What is it like? Because it's like so exclusive. They only open once a week a week i don't know a haberdashery pieces of shit the dude like uh the guy was like he's like how did you find me oh no

because it was like in this like find me yeah and then he just like shaved some metal shavings off of like a rod of wood and fucking disappeared into a cloud of dust it was crazy but dude i thought i mean it was a cool ass fucking shop obviously my fucking wife wanted to go but was it big it was uh it was pretty big but it was fucking so densely packed with not people but just like the coolest old shit like a stack of like old ass briefcases like was it expensive that was my fucking problem yeah i hate that i tried to keep it cheap and i got to the fucking cash register with a belt just only a belt i have the belt on right now they're pretty pretty uh dude i can't even get this fucking belt off dude because it was too big I asked the dude I didn't even ask how much

because there was no price tags on anything and so I was just like I'm going to take the belt and it's a good belt how much would you appraise this belt for though? Oh that's a nice belt it's cool what was it like $700? It was $160

oh okay but that felt like a fucking lot of money to me. It is. It fucking destroyed me, but I felt like such a pussy. Like, I couldn't be like, oh, no, I'm not. No, no, no, no, no. I can't take this. Yeah.

Dude, going to vintage places in New York is not worth it. You should just wait until you're like on the road somewhere and then just go there because they're going to be just as good and they're going to be like 150th of the price that is so true going to a small town vintage place and it'll have like someone will have just died in that those clothes like the vintage shit in new york is like been once through vintage another time vintage like found probably counterfeit vintage there's probably like a sweatshop of like brooklyn hipsters like sewing shit to make it look 100 vintage because it's not even what is the one what what is it metropolis is that what it's called that metropolis l train vintage l train's

not bad l train's pretty inexpensive but metropolis is like they have cool shit but you'll go and they'll be like a white t-shirt with like a Bush Light logo on it. And you'll look at it and the price tag will be like $275. Bro, this place didn't even have t-shirts. This had like corduroy jackets with like elbow pads and like fucking top hats. Like it was like antiques from the 1930s and shit like that. It was beyond vintage. And I wasn't even trying to like crush a vintage look

i was like i'll support a small business yeah little did i know he's making his fucking rent off this fucking belt dude yeah that's insane i mean i like uh like i like vintage like i i know i honestly think like i don't think i would even if i was rich as fuck i don't think i would be willing to spend like over like 60 on a t-shirt yeah i don't understand how would be willing to spend like over like $60 on a t-shirt. Yeah. I don't understand how I'm not going to be like, cause there's no, there's nothing.

No, they're not, they're not, it's not supporting small business at that point either. Like that person probably got the shirt like from for free. His grandfather probably died and he stole it from him. Right. It was like, I'm going to sell this for $7,000.

And there are thousand dollar, like you go into any regular vintage place, there's thousands of dollar t-shirts. Isn't the whole point of vintage and like thrifting supposed to be like for poor people who can't afford to buy their own clothes? Originally.

Now poor people have to buy retail. Yeah. These poor, poor people. That's their only way is to buy like fashion from fucking Walmart or some shit because there's literally no inexpensive clothes anymore.

No, it's insane. Or just go to like Buffalo exchange and like that shit. But then you go in there and there's like, it's like an, it's a disaster. And who's making the money off of it? Those people,

it's all independently run places, but Buffalo exchange isn't like Buffalo exchange. You'll bring in like a fucking like leather jacket that's like once worn and there'll be like, yeah, seven bucks I paid $800 for this but like who's making the money it's not like the fucking

lady in the smock behind the counter I wonder if it's like a is it Big Buffalo? Big Buffalo I wonder what it is people who own the building maybe yeah maybe another thing I did this weekend that had me wondering the same question is who is getting

this fucking money is i went to like a rooftop that was supposed to be like a fucking ice lounge or some shit like that and they fucking robbed us dude it was the biggest fucking robbery ever you had to buy tickets it was like 50 to get in and it like came with a drink and you just went up there and like your cup was shaved out of ice and it was just like the rooftop of a hotel that you can go to every other day of the year for free it was just absolute bullshit the people are there saturday saturday night the people are there like outside like working in the bitter cold just pouring cocktails for people who refuse to tip them they're not making money the door people is dealing with these fucking terrible ass line they're not making any more money yeah it's just

the hotel that's making more money like who is making money off of this shit except for just a fucking like no one on any low level is making any money off the thrift shit the fucking bars you can't help small businesses you can't help people to people anywhere unless you're giving handing someone cash that's the only way you can help a human yeah people anywhere unless you're giving handing someone cash that's the only way you can help a human yeah i don't know it's fucked dude i mean i bought everything is just a scam yeah patronizing businesses i bought airpods and it was there were 360 dollars and i looked it up they're like 200 bucks like why at an airport are they 160 more dollars because they have you yeah you're fucking trapped there

you're a captive audience you can't go anywhere you can't fucking airports must be making the most money like in the world out of anything but airlines are always going bankrupt i don't fucking understand it no airlines are always are the ones that no one uses but like united jet blue i think like delta is operating at a loss no way dude i think that they're losing money i don't know how you guys everyone keeps on telling me oh you got to track your points you got to track your points you got to track your miles you got to do all this shit but then it's like when i buy my flights i use like priceline or expedia and i go with the cheapest airline and if i looked at it last week i got my ticket to denver was like 100 bucks and it was united which

i'm fine flying united United's a good airline. And then I looked on the Delta website and the cheapest ticket was like $700. And I'm like, I don't give a shit about my miles. I'm like, that's a, I'd be spending 400 more dollars or 500. They told me today, Barstool Sports told me today that Delta is too expensive for them to book. It is, dude. It's insane. There was tickets that were $2,000. They booked me Delta

for fucking three straight years. Because I think Delta recently has become like the top dog. Like it used to be JetBlue and now it's Delta. I'm sticking with fucking Delta, bro. I'd go to United, dude. I'm not flipping. I just got to Diamond Medallion, brother. You think that I'm about to bail

on Diamond Medallion status? What does that mean? What does that do for you? They suck you when you get on the plane. The pilot comes and- Like you get upgraded to like first class a lot? Yeah, I mean, I have had it for like two weeks. I got upgraded to first class and like right away.

That fucking everything's clear is free. Delta lounge. You have clear for free? Yeah. Dude, I got humiliated at the airport yesterday. What happened? I'm running late for my flight. I get in line at the Denver airport in the clear line.

Turns out it's the TSA clear line. So you need TSA and clear. And I'm like getting in line. I'm like, can I see your boarding pass? And I show him my boarding pass. And he goes, oh, no, no. He's not TSA. So like everyone in the airport turns their head. 700 people turn their head. And they're like, he's oh no no he's uh he's not tsa so like everyone everyone in the

airport turns their head 700 people turn their head and they're like he's not tsa and then i'm like oh my bad and he's like there's uh he's like you can go in the poor person line over there and i i'm like all right i'll just walk back and he's like no no i'll i'll like walk you out and he like oh he like makes me like go through and like opens the gate and it's like a whole thing and makes me walk out and i'm like dude i can just walk back the 10 foot line that i walked in from damn he's like no i have to escort you out escort you he humiliated humiliated me and then i had to wait in the civilian line sometimes though the the last time i was at the denver airport the civilian line was faster than the tsa yeah because everyone has everyone has it now.

Everyone has it. Everyone has TSA and everyone has Clear. They need to add a new thing. What they got to do is they got to bump up the price of Clear. It's got to become more exclusive. Would you still pay it? It's got to be for frequent flyers. I would pay $1,000 a year for Clear.

Yeah, I think so too. Especially if it was at all airports. I fly every week. It's at most airports now. You fly every week? Pretty much. most airports now. You fly every week? Pretty much. Damn, bro. Are you going to get more flights than me this year?

I probably already do. You said last year you got more flights than me? No, no. Ah, maybe. Don't fucking play with me. Maybe. Don't play with me. I fly a lot.

I fly a lot. I fly a lot. Are you flying this weekend? Of course. Where? Oh, you're going out somewhere for that gambling competition, right? No, that's next weekend. Where are you flying?

Flying high, brother, with the birds. Yeah, you're not going anywhere. You're going to be in Brooklyn. You can catch a flight from Brooklyn to Newark. I am going to Newark. From LaGuardia to Newark. I do have to go to Newark. Dude, they can't dick me on this Delta shit, dude.

No, I'm genuinely concerned. I'm just going. I'm like, what are we talking about? I'm just going to book it myself. They said that's a big no-no. Blattman sent out a whole email saying no exceptions.

No, you can't expense it. I'll put it on the company card. Yeah. I'm going to have to rat you out. Spent six months in the air for Delta, bro. This whole last year. Right.

I was taking flights just to touch the wall. It's like people were like taking, yeah. Glennie was like, Glennie was saying, he like, dude, I like he's I remember him saying I have to get a flight this week so I can hit my goal. Yeah. Yeah.

So he was like flew somewhere and like flew back for that. I needed 200 more miles before like we left for break. I'm like, dude, I just need to go anywhere to get it. But I'm not going to be able to carry over the points. You see these new half private airlines? No. There's like airlines that are like supposedly like semi-private. It's like, that's not private.

If it's semi-private, but the whole, the whole plane is first class though. Like the whole plane has these like, fuck it. They said they go up and down the West coast and there's like some flights to Florida and like you can, uh, like they all have like the amount of space of first class but the entire plane has it and it's not like a standard size plane that's such a waste of money i don't know they the lady said it was like like 600 something dollars like i don't think it was that crazy it's it's just like bad it's just bad it's bad for the environment right isn't it why do you care about the environment?

Why would they have a big ass passenger plane? Why would they have a big ass passenger plane? Because I was out in Colorado this weekend. And I saw the mountains. You were fly fishing for the first time. Someone's going to ruin this for me. I shouldn't be able to go fly fishing in the middle of the winter. In Denver.

Yeah, maybe you should though. Maybe just go farther up north. All of Canada is still open for you to fucking experience deep winter if you want to get your dick frozen off. It's true. For now. How about that Nepalese flight, bro? Yeah, that was crazy.

There's been a Nepalese... There's been 13 Nepalese crashes over the last 13 years. Why is that? Is it just because of the air out there? Is it so high altitude? And I think that the mountains maybe, or I don't know mountains make turbulence worse but they say that they're not

I think like base altitude there is like 8,000. And they also might be strapped for cash out there they might not have the same safety regulations that we have on our airplanes. Yeah the plane that they flew was, I looked it up, it was like, no, apparently it's not a very good plane.

Yeah, bro, I didn't fucking like it. How many meters? 3,000 meters. Yo! What's going on, gang? How you doing? How are you? Sorry.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When you're at your best, you can do great things, but sometimes you get bogged down. You may feel overwhelmed or like you're not showing up in the way that you want to. Working with a therapist can help you get closer to the best version of you because when you feel empowered, you're more prepared to take on everything best version of you. Because when you feel empowered, you're more prepared to take on everything life throws at you. And I've taken BetterHelp myself. I've used BetterHelp,

and I know BetterHelp. And I've done their online therapy right from my phone, this exact phone, you're looking at me holding my hand right now, or listening to me holding my hand. If you're thinking about giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It's convenient, flexible, affordable, and entirely online. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist

and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. BetterHelp can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash sun today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash sun. How you guys doing?

We're chilling, bro. Yeah? Just fucking yakking it up in here. Love it. It's just low-key vibes, bro. We were talking about the Nepal plan that went down. Oh, yeah. the Nepal plane. Didn't it, like, invert and then drop?

I saw, like, half. I stopped watching. Dude, did you see the video from inside the plane? Uh-uh. What? Yeah, it's crazy. It was the only one I've ever seen like that where, like, the phone is still recording after the crash, and all of a sudden it's just the whole plane is on fire. Are you kidding? Where did you find that?

It's all over Twitter. It's everywhere online. Oh, fuck that, man. Yeah, so that's what we've been talking about. Yeah. Real chipper mood. I've been real sensitive about that shit because we're flying to, I got to go to a wedding in Hawaii in the middle of February. And maybe like three weeks ago, I came across a video from inside a Hawaiian Airlines flight

where they hit real bad turbulence going into Honolulu. And it must have been real fucking bad. Everybody was looking. You just got shell shocked at the fucking the flight attendants had like black eyes and they were bleeding from their head. Everybody was freaking out when that shits a little bit. When you're coming in, everybody panics. Right. If it just shakes you in your chair, imagine what was happening inside that plane for them

to be fucking bouncing off the ceilings. Dude, if you hit the ceiling, that's a fucking even if a latch opens up, it freaks me the fuck out. Yeah, we did that when we landed. Didn't like a bunch of shit fell. Yeah. Yeah. I'll fucking shake you, dude.

I want a couple of miles or a meal voucher or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hate that bullshit. Those turbulence videos can be funny. They can be kind of funny, though. Have you ever seen the one with the dude in the back and he's like, put this thing on the ground.

It's all Sully Sullenberger on it. I'm going to land this plane in the river. I have real bad anxiety about flying like that. But the more you find out, out how indestructible they are. Yeah, it's crazy. And I heard that Nepalese airline had some fucking... They were cutting some corners. Yeah.

What are you talking about? They had a corner. The FAA wasn't looking over that. Their Uber rating was like a half a star. Right. So that sucks, though, man. Nobody made it, right? No, no, no.

But I don't know. How did the video get out then? They found it? They probably found the guy's phone. Really? I'm assuming that's probably the first thing they do. That's a good ad for them. They start looking for phones.

It's a new iPhone commercial. You won't make it. They're like, that guy's still got a pulse, but this phone is unlocked and it might turn off soon. Make some international calls. They found a thumb. That sucks, man. What, did you just smash Xanax before your flights or what? Or booze?

A little bit of booze. I was doing. I didn't fly much until we started going on tour in April of 2021. Before that, I'd been on a plane maybe once in the last fucking 15 years. Yeah. Big loser. Yeah. Big, big loser.

But that's probably because you have anxiety about it. No, I was like, bro. No, he's a dirtbag. He had nowhere to go. He's an actual dirt dirt bag he had nowhere to go he's an actual dirt bag nowhere to go nowhere to see I love how you gave him the out

like ah you know it's probably because you know I'm sure you can afford an airline to cross country probably flying private

so um fucking uh we were I did booze and all that stuff but dude you get off the plane especially if we're going to work. You get off that plane.

You're fucking. Yeah, you can't do shows that night if you've been fucking drinking vodka on a plane. You know what I mean? Oh, if you get a daytime hangover, it fucking sucks. And it's not a sustainable life. If you go Xanax, you end up like fucking Odell fucking acting a fool. I got the restraint here. I was I had or i still

kind of do but i had like crippling flight anxiety like to the point that like i would be in like somewhere like florida and i'd be like looking at trains but i've done that start looking at cars and shit like i can make it i can make a day out of it yeah you got no shot up there yeah no shot yeah and uh they prescribed me ativan for it and uh i took it like I took it for like a couple of months. And then I got to a point where I was like, I don't even think I need it anymore. And I just stopped taking it like no flight anxiety anymore. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I kind of like went into that mindset that I was like, I'm not scared at all right now. And then I was like, just roll that over. Like, oh, I'm really not afraid. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I'm so normalized to you do it so much that you're like, you know, I still shit my pants every time we take off.

The takeoff is the worst. I give it that if we get through five minutes, we're going to be okay. Then I'll start up the movie. Oh, you do five minutes? I do like 15 seconds. I've heard it. Oh, really? I think it's like five or ten.

Yeah, five, ten minutes. That's when it's most likely. It's takeoff and landing. Oh, I thought it was the first 90 seconds. I thought if that is the most crucial. 90 seconds if something's going to happen. But why not start the movie

as soon as you sit down so maybe the plot like, you know, maybe the plot points have gripped you by then. I don't know because I always I always worry

that afterwards I'm like, what was he watching? He was watching Eat, Pray, Love. I think that's the facts they're gathering at the crime scene. No one's looking for the black box. Like, what was the fat guy in 4D watching?

He also had three bags of pretzels, sir. I got to be dialed in until we get the fucking. You're listening to the fucking. Dude, how about the sound sometimes're listening to the fucking dude i watched the map man you know what actually yeah you know what actually helped me a lot was i watched like a shit ton of these youtube documentaries about plane crashes i think i forget what it was oh it's called like i don't know i forget what the name was but uh dude like these there'll be videos of planes crashing and then they'll be like everyone survived that's also like all like they'll be like they're crashing most of the crashing and then they'll be like everyone survived. They'll be like they're crashing most of the time and then they'll be like

but they still landed safely. I think of plane crashes as like a perpendicular act like this but from what I'm seeing is like they kind of can go down That's if you've got a fucking cowboy up there it's probably some fucking rookie going to the side of the mountain.

It's not going to be Sully Soler. Half of them are younger than you now, which is disconcerting. Like a fresh-faced, muscular 26-year-old that's just like, that shit is a lot of fun. You always judge them when you see them, too. I remember one guy got on. I was flying international, so he came from the duty-free shop with like three fucking cartons of Marlboro Reds. I'm like, I'm in good hands.

This dude's been around the block. He's all right. As a kid, I'm in good hands. This dude's been around the block. He's alright. As a kid, I always thought that they all came from the military. Now you can fucking Now you can be like a weekend warrior. They got women. I want a fucking Vietnam vet. Somebody with some fucking kills. A handsome grizzled dude who's just like plowing flight

attendants. Yeah, big jawline. I want the guy or the girl that I look at and I say, there's no way they're dying they've seen shit that's why i also don't like being on uh flights that don't have a first class section not that i'm in it but just i like to know that there's some valuable there are lives of value you know what i mean it's gonna crash less one time i got on a plane and the captain got on and he had a fucking guitar on his back. And I was like, what? Oh, my God.

Soft case and everything. And acoustic. I was like this fucking nerd. That's terrible. I like to look at the flight attendants or if there's like a pilot on the plane who's not flying the plane. You ever see that? Oh, I sat next to him. I like to look at my trip.

Really? Dude, he went off about anti-vax. I'm like, dude, you're just ruining this already shitty trip. I had a middle seat, too. It sucked. And they shouldn't wear their uniform, too. I don't want to know that. No.

Just fucking wear plain clothes. You don't got to fucking wear your dress whites when you're flying to fucking Tampa. No, I like it. Because then I clock them. And if they're not nervous, I'm not nervous. I go, if they're chill, I always look at the flight attendants. If they're not, if you see someone panic, it's wrong. What I really don't like is how they call the flight attendant seats the jump seats.

Yeah. That sounds like they're about to exit. Those are going to eject or some shit. See you around. They're like, yeah. Every man for himself. Yeah. Fucking three parachutes.

They're all on the floor. And the pilot comes over and he's like, flight attendants, please take your jump seats now. Oh, dude. That's how. This is going down. That's how this is going down. That's how I imagine it. You think it would be one way that there would be like chaos and stuff like that. The one that I'm worried about is everything's cool.

Everybody's happy. The snack cart's going around. And all of a sudden you hear brace for impact. Yeah. Just hear that real cold thing. Yeah. I think they're still serving drinks as they're like 10 feet from the ground. No, I'm saying that's how it happens.

Now, my buddy. Hit some geese or something. No, I'm saying that's how quick it happens. Now, my buddy. They hit some geese or something. Yeah, yeah. Isn't that what took out Sully, right? The birds are the scariest shit because that, there's just nothing. They haven't done anything about that. Which that blows my fucking mind. That can just still happen.

No, don't think. No, they practice it. They practice with frozen chicken. Yes, exactly. You ever see those videos of them on a runway with the jet, with the engine running, and there's a guy just heaving turkey. At the Boeing factory. They got rotisseries in there.

Yeah, he's just cooking rotisserie. Like a drug dealer in a bad neighborhood. Just fucking handing out birds. Yeah, like Bunky Johnson. Wait, hold on. They practice on the wrong... They're not going to use that plane then. I think so. I think they practice with the engine. Don't worry about that. Sorry about that. Light that up. I always thought they practiced to make sure

it's okay. That was like a one in a million shot that it actually took it out. They're made to withstand. I think they use those engines. I think that they make sure every engine has, like, ten dozens of dead birds on it. I want a fresh one. Fuck that.

They got bodies on it. I always was under the impression, too. I don't want to display models. That's fucking bullshit. I always jumped on it. I was always under the impression when the plane lands that I didn't like that they just turn around and fly somewhere else. I wanted to be like, whew, let's relax a little bit. Yeah.

Take the night. Everybody chill. We're going back to buffalo you're like what the fuck that's the craziest let them chill a bit yeah i've heard stories about people who've like been in crashes and then they have to just get on a plane and go to another i would draw i would i would be down i'd be walking yeah that would be no good dude my boy over uh i think it was it was maybe halloween or something like that it was this year or late last year. He lives in Costa Rica with his family. They were down in Miami. They're fucking flying from Miami

and they get on the plane. They're flying. They're still over land. All of a sudden, smoke starts filling up the fucking cabin. They look out. Engines on fire. Fucking bad news. They turn around. They fucking land in Miami. everybody's freaked out they stayed overnight next day they got on the same plane and flew to fucking costa rica what

yes no they got back i'd be like john madden after that dude i just know the boss yeah you gotta kill that horse you can't get back on that horse which is crazy they're that durable but a fucking bird takes you out well i think that was like the one in a million of that but that's crazy that all there's a lot of one in a millions we've been talking about. This one in a million shit keeps on happening. My buddy is an engineer for Airbus or something like that. And I'm not a great flyer, but he was like, dude, the redundancy on a plane. He's like, if something goes, there's five backups.

He's like, to have absolute's like it's like literally statistically almost impossible yeah they say that the drive to the airport is more dangerous than the flight yeah tell them to those poor nephews yeah they didn't like drive over everest people probably died on a highway in fucking nepal that day maybe but still also i would uh what were you saying no just any time like they changed like on a highway in fucking Nepal that day. Maybe. But also, I would... What were you saying? No, just any time they change the direction. It's every single flight when they go from this angle to

this angle at whatever 60 seconds in, it just gets my stomach. Well, dude, sometimes they lay off the thrusters a little hard. It's like they're stalling. You hear the absence of sound. That's too much dude fucking ease into that dude i was uh i so i flew this weekend and i was uh i lost my airpods and ever

and i got new airpods and at the airport they're so expensive like 400 they were 360 bucks and everyone was like everyone was like why didn't you just get like wired headphones i was like dude i need the noise canceling because why i when you hit 10 000 feet all of a sudden it sounds like they just shut the plane off and you're like what the hell is going on or when it makes that weird sound when it's taken off that yeah yeah you're like somebody has a fucking yeah yeah that's fucking brutal terrifying what's going on with you motherfuckers though you guys fired up for the... What's up, pussies? You turned into an undercover cop real quick. Yeah, where the drugs at, huh? You kids got a dine bag on you?

Yeah, you got your stuff on you right now? Abracadabra. We're like a dad, huh? You kids getting laid? What's going on? Motherfucker. Turn the seat backwards. Turn the seat backwards.

Your hat flips back. AC slated the shit out of you. You got the birds this weekend that's what i'm saying birds birds last i was supposed to see you guys was to watch the uh the the phils in the in the fucking world series you're gonna come to that yeah my fucking oh where to the game no no no to change oh that was that was that marked off one of the wildest, like just binge drinking every day at that house with Shane, Tommy, and O'Connor. Yeah, he was like, I got the Philly boys over. I was like, I was about to come over.

I don't know what the fuck happened. We were playing 7-Eleven doubles till like five in the morning. I'm like, I gotta get out of here. We're not 19 anymore. What the fuck? I think that's what happened. I had a wife that I couldn't fucking go there

and just like live in the flop house for the weekend. My wife was... Dude, from Monday till the following Tuesday or whatever, because we went to the game in Philly. And the first one got rained out. So we were just in Philly drunk already until, you know, went to the strip club and everything. I had the worst mushroom trip of my life that day. Oh, yeah.

You were having mushrooms at the strip club? Or different nights? You took mushrooms for the game. you took mushrooms for the game i took mushrooms for the game thinking that we were going to the game so we went to dirty franks and hung out where's dirty franks it like 12th and walnut or something like an old school dive bar we were in there and i was told take three cubes i took six oh god doing the math of how fat I was. I'm twice the size of an average guy. Dude, fucking hit me like a ton of bricks. And it was fucking Halloween.

So everybody in there was like a fucking demon. Oh, that's horrifying. I was fucking bugging out. Then we went to the gym and just got fucked up all night. Did you tell everybody that you were tripping your balls off? We were talking them off the ledge the whole night, dude. No. You're good. And then somebody was like, hey, man, the sugar or caffeine in soda helps you like you know edge off or whatever

so dude he he must have drank about eight dude he must have drank about 18 cokes at the bar really just crushing my head on straight crushing cokes and it worked and i never knew that shit worked i didn't know either yeah i heard put the brakes on it real smoking weed can uh put the brakes on it too i've heard heard. Or it could fucking. That sounds like. It goes the other way. Yeah, that sounds like a nightmare. No way.

A double helix. Rest in peace. I would kill myself instantly if that happened. Brutal. Mushrooms. Like, here, dude, just smoke this weed. That'll make you feel better. And I had been micro dosing all summer and a little macro too.

And I was fucking handling. Mostly macro, I think. But this, I don't know what happened man this was fucking like fucking ice different cubes yeah it was the heavy duty shit bricks that's brutal also like everybody else was just drinking bud lights he's gotta come in with the high heat and be like let's turn this party up and ruin my night it was game three we were in fucking right field man i wanted to fucking really be in the moment. Yeah, it was 1-1 at that time.

They fucking won game three. All the home runs in that game were landing like five rows from us. Oh, yeah. Weren't there crazy videos of you guys almost getting home runs? Yeah, we were real close. Damn.

We were real fucked up, too. Right behind Nick Castellanos and that tight little butt of his. Oh, my God. Dude, nothing's better than a good-looking ball player. Man. They look awesome. He was working right field,-looking ball player. Man, they look awesome.

They work in right field, too. Fucking giving the two, fucking going back and forth, telling everybody what the score was and all that stuff. Real showman. But I would like you, did you light up the opposing left fielder, right fielder? I feel like that's who I spend more of my energy on, is the guy from out of town just being an absolute dickhead

to him. I can't do that shit. I feel like too much of a douche. Yeah, I can't do that shit. No, you feel good? You feel too bad? I feel like too much of a douche. Yeah. Who was it, too? It was somebody.

I think he just had a kid. Somebody was lame. Oh, so you did your research, but you're like, let me keep this in the sheet. No, he hates it. They were screaming at him from the stands. I sit back with that stuff. I feel like that's a real wrestling dad kind of stuff.

Like screaming from the stands. Yeah. Well, you're also like in a profession where like you've been on the other side of it or like, you know what the fuck it's like. You fat loser, you suck. Come on, man. Someone being a dickhead to you. Yeah. I'd like I like seeing the videos and stuff like that, though.

But like the kids going up to like the fucking Minnesota Vikings fans and just screaming birds and other things. Dude, that's the famous Philly one. That's awesome. Yeah. Doing it to other fans. And I feel like that's fair game. That's fair. That's part of that's part of going to the event, doing it to the players.

And I've seen some players like run into the fucking stands. One of the dudes who was on the Rams went to the stand and like check something. Yeah, I don't want that shit. Where are you from, homie? He would have climbed up the wall and beat this shit out of both of us. Knocked out by some fucking kicker or something like that. Would have been good for Instagram. Dude, there's old videos of like full hockey teams like storming the... Oh, like the lower level.

Yeah, they go after it. Yeah. Because they got nothing to lose. You know what I mean? They're not playing for a professional contract. The Flyers did that back in the day. Like there's like videos of the Flyers like climbing over and like beating. Like that's I think the original Broad Street Bullies were them just killing fans. They were videos of the fires climbing over and beating. That's, I think, the original Broad Street

Bullies were them just killing fans. They were fucking everybody. I would never want to be that guy fucking being a tough guy running out on the court and fucking getting just leveled by fucking somebody. Oh my God. That chubby little dude that ran on the court and squared up

with Lou. Who'd he square up with? Rod Artest. No, it wasn't. Or Jermaine O'Neal. It was Jermaine O'Neal. Dude, Jermaine O'Neal just like one-twoed him and the guy melted. Because the guys were on edge. The cage in the zoo was removed and the animals had wild

eyes. I don't have to compare them to animals, but it was like there's an understood relationship. You don't cross this boundary. Right. The understanding of that relationship. That was like a Tuesday night. I watched that shit live. It was a playoff. It was like there's an understood relationship. You don't cross this boundary. Right. It was cross. The understanding of that relationship. That was like a Tuesday night. I watched that shit live. It wasn't even like a playoff. I watched it live.

It was wild. I was like, what the fuck is happening? Those 30 for 30s are fucking all right, man. Yeah. Fucking do those good. Yeah, it was fucking sweet. Do you know what we're talking about when the fucking NBA players are like, no, he doesn't give a fuck.

Yeah. I don't watch NBA. And he's also 12. Yeah, he's like 20. Yeah, you were seven when that happened. Maybe not even, dude. He literally might not have even been seven years old yet. Yeah, he just got divorced.

I was watching iCarly. He had fucking bedtime, dude. But yeah, the dude Ron Artest, he was a hothead, and he kind of laid down on the scorer's table to try and calm himself down because he had multiple incidents that year of beating the fuck out of dudes who were almost fighting. With Ben Wallace, that game a couple of times. I think threw a punch at Ben Wallace or something.

And he didn't want to smoke with Ben Wallace. Yeah, because Ben Wallace was a bad dude. Who would? Yeah, he's jacked and scary and fucking just a menace. And he tried to lie down on the scorer's table and relax. And someone threw a soda from the crowd and it fucking landed on him. And he just got up like the fucking Undertaker and climbed into the stands and beat the piss out of the wrong dude. The wrong dude got knocked.

Really? It wasn't him. That's crazy and the guy who threw it like as he was beating up the wrong dude the guy who threw the soda just like started beat like punching Ron Artest in like the back and the back of the head like he basically never got punched

and just like had to throw sodas to fight other players that's why I don't talk shit because it was just that video of the fat guy rolling down the fucking football. Oh, yeah. That could have been nuts. So many people tagged me in that video.

Is this holy shit? I got about 30 pounds on that guy, too. My fucking pants would have been down around my ass. Dude, that guy's ass was huge. He had a long crack, dude. Dude, there's no coming back from that. And his bad dynamics. Like, it's impossible to win one of those.

Because you think you have the higher ground. You can just wail at someone's face that's at dick level. But if they get one throw... If they get the leverage on you, they're coming under. Yeah, the leverage is like... It's a terrible...

Even if you're in the same row, you can get thrown down. Is that a fight? I think it was. I thought the dude just fell. He might have just been fucked up and fat. He just slipped. Slipped on some fucking cheese wings. Dropped his hoagie. I think someone was. I thought the dude just fell. He might have just been fucked up and fat. I thought he just slipped. Slipped on some fucking cheese wings.

Dropped his hoagie. I think someone chucked him. I think that's when COVID ended. I think there was like a boom of those videos of dudes brawling in the stands because they needed to get back out. There's nothing worse than seeing one of those and then you see the fuck it. If the guy that gets fucked up is the instigator and then he stands up and you just see the little kid next to him bawling his eyes out could you imagine

that shit there was a Steelers one like that the kid just burst into tears like your dad's just getting his ass beat it's such a bad and then it lives forever man it gets yeah that's why I don't do it we went to I went to a Cowboys Giants

game and these two Giants fans were being such fucking dicks to this fucking, uh, like dad and son walk at walking out with the fucking Cowboys jerseys. And like, they turned around and fucking got into a thing. And the kid just started crying. Terrible.

It sounds like something that would happen to run. Honestly. No, honestly, I got into a game with him. We went to a Yankees game together. And, uh,

the entire time I was like, he's going to die. Everyone, the red slot him we went to a yankees game together and uh the entire time i was like he's gonna die yeah everyone the red saw it was yet red sox yankees right yeah and who won the yankees and why are you catching you rocking a hat or a jersey no every single person that left every single person are you a philly proper kid did you grow up in the city no i grew up in like uh like radnor okay all right. Alright. Because that's real Philly proper shit. Oh, to just be a scumbag. The biggest scumbag. Yeah, no worries at all.

Every single person that left the stadium, he would go bye. Bye. To like 300 people. I think it was like Yankees fans leaving their own stadium early or some shit like that.

But also like for over an hour. See you later. For like an hour straight. I don't even like the Red Sox. It was crazy. Honestly, a part of this story that never gets told is they told me to meet at the stadium three hours beforehand to get beers. And I got there on time to get beers.

And they didn't get to the stadium until right at game time. So I was in my fucking bag, dude. I was fucking gone. All is fair. I was there. And I thought that I was like, we were all on the same page, like having a day with the boys. Like, and I was like talking shit, like showing off a little bit, like having a good time.

And they were not on the same page. Meanwhile, they had a group text without you in it. No, they literally do now. No, I'm not kidding. They literally have this group chat. That's why he's laughing so hard. The group chat text without you in it. No, they literally do now. No, I'm not kidding. They literally have this group chat. That's why he's laughing so hard. The group chat exists without me in it. Like, I've been removed.

I don't get invited to shit anymore, bro. I don't come to parties, bro. I can't get out there. I text you every day and I say, what are you doing tonight? No, they're like, they can't take me out anymore. Next thing you know, you're doing that shit at christenings and weddings and stuff. It's a slippery slope. Dunk him harder.

He's barely wet. She's a whore, Ronnie. We all know it. No, at the Phillies games, I would try to get first or second row of the outfield. Because I would feel bad if I was yelling over people to get to the outfielders. But if I feel like I have a direct sight line to the outfielder, I'm making his life hell. Man, you really are. I'm a scumbag. But then he'll come out between

the innings with his batting glove in his back pocket with the middle finger flipped up in it or whatever. Give me a little bit of... You're still trying to get a ball when he's throwing it. It's just a game. I really love you. That's the sign of a true dirtbag. Can you sign my mitt as a third back?

The grown adult fucking taking, you know, when they throw the ball around the outfield and they flip it up before the inning starts, trying to grab one of those from a fucking nine-year-old kid. Yeah, wearing like a Batman costume. Well, that's the thing, too, is you can't even keep the ball anymore because those videos go viral all the time. You got to give it to the kid.

Who wouldn't anyway? It feels good. You got to give it to a kid. I'm keeping that shit for sure. That's like instant heroism. Yeah. If it to the kid. I'm keeping that shit for sure. That's like instant heroism. If I catch the ball, I'm keeping that thing. This new generation, I tell you. You got your hat on back there if you're a little kid.

Yeah, big ass glove bringing the mitt with me. Yeah, taking a glove is a bad glove. Oh, as an adult? Yeah, you don't want to be there with the mitt. Get the fuck out of here. There's that dude that runs around the stadiums that has like- Zach Hample. Yeah, foul ball guy. Yeah. Oh, man, to be there with the kid. Get the fuck out of here. There's that dude that runs around the stadiums. Zach Hample. Yes, foul ball guy.

Yeah. Oh, man, that guy is unbearable. He's terrible. And, like, there's been people who— You've got to claim autism if you do that. No, I think it's no. I'm not claiming it, bro. What do you mean?

You're claiming it. You're keeping the ball. You've got to claim autism. Dude, he's got a YouTube page about catching batting practice. He's full-blown on the spectrum. That's crazy. Hour-long videos. Him and every subscriber he has. Oh, man. He has a YouTube page about catching batting practice baseballs. He's full-blown on the spectrum. That's crazy. Hour-long videos. Him and every subscriber he has.

Oh, man. That guy has got to be a tough hang at a party. But he'll argue with the people that are in charge of the section in the stadium, being like, what? I should be able to roam around the stadium freely. They're like, please sit in your seat, sir. There's little kids here that you're fucking elbowing. I love the ones where the kid that's like maybe 12, 13

catches one. Then he gives it to like a smaller kid. I'd like to see the mom. That kid's getting laid. Oh yeah, 100%. Just at a bar pulling up the video. You see how sweet I am? But it's like the only way to be a hero.

Any other heroic act requires you to put yourself in danger. Sure. That's easy. That's something that wasn't even yours. Yes, it's a fast track to being a hero. You just have to catch something that just literally fell in your lap and just give it away to somebody. I don't got to fucking land a plane in the Hudson.

Right. You're not like punching a shark in the nose or fucking dragging someone away from a fucking alligator. Would you do that? If you saw somebody getting shark attacked, would you jump in? Hell no. Dude, you can't go in the water. You can't enter their ring. That's crazy.

It's literally my fantasy. You're going to call them out onto the beach? Well, I'm just saying. Try it over here, pussy. If you're in the water and he attacks your boy, sure. Catch him later at Sam's Beach. Catch him in the shower. You're at such a disadvantage

in a shark attack. Oh, man. Yeah, you're done. But they make it seem easy. If we were in an alley, I'd have a disadvantage. A human attack. Yeah, you gotta punch him

in the nose or like in the gut, right? There's like a soft... There's those videos of them where they just like grab the nose and just move the shark. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thumb in his ass. Like a dog attack.

Like a pit bull. I saw that. I saw that once. I saw a video where a dude did that and it fucking worked. I'm like, damn. Really? Yeah. How do you figure that out?

I think about it all the time when I see a dog. If that dog starts acting up, I'm sticking thumb in ass. Really? I think you have to, right? I would go for an eye. I would poke the dog's eye. Really? Stick my finger up his butt.

I don't think that fucks with them, man. They bite each other like crazy. You got to go internal. Squish his eyeball? I don't think that fucks with them, man. They bite each other like crazy. You gotta go internal. Squished his eyeball? That's only if it was hurting another dog. I would never hurt a puppy dog. Right. Maybe I'm just curious. He's listening to you like, roll over. He said there's no other dog in the room.

I hope you like this. You're choking him too? Yeah. The red rocket just like slowly pops out. Oh, remember that shit when you were a kid the first time you saw that oh my god what the fuck is that dude a dude we work with his dog fucking had like literally a fucking 10 inch dick really this red rock one but it was like a small dog a slim and a small dog with a fucking 10 inch skinny dick that looks alien it looks really got a raw deal because they got lucky with the

balls they have human balls yeah they do have human right they got shafted on the fucking on the dick your dick doesn't look like that this long slimy red slim jim glistening all it comes out when you scratch my belly get the leg going the sunlight hit it beautifully we had my buddy uh he had like a poodle and there was this kid and he was like humping he wasn't neutered so he's humping everybody's leg and he's just humping this kid's leg for like a minute and we're like he's like dude make him stop we're like no no he's gonna come on me we're like dude dogs can't come it's the you know the female comes or what it's just like lied to him waiting for this dog to come on him and he had a pair of n1 shorts on dude and these things got splooged no way No way. No. He humped them

for like three minutes. That's crazy. Some shiny baggy N1 shorts. They were yellow with the white trim. I still have a great pair of those. I fucking love them. Really? He still runs game every week at Rucker Park. Yeah, just doing the rollover move.

Him and Escalade. Yeah, the white Escalade.calade yeah the white Escalade 30 for 30 oh yeah the N1 guys yeah that's a fucking good time dude I have a I have a BB gun at my house

now? no like at my like at my parents house I was like dude you really are a child in New York yeah

had to check my wrist rocking at the door slingshot in his back pocket yeah I took my wagon here I got it when I was a kid and I found out that the reason that

my grandfather gave it to me, but my grandma had it because the neighbor's dogs would come over and hump their dogs and she would shoot them in the ass. God damn. With a BB gun. Where are you from? Massachusetts. Damn. That sounds like some country shit. That's some real backwoods shit. Isn't that crazy? How about calling the

neighbor? I know. He's putting a fence up or something. Jesus Christ. Grandma in a house dress holds a fucking... Get the tent pump out for the dogs. Or what's her problem? Why can't they just fuck? Like, why not fix the dogs? I don't think she wanted more dogs. Yeah? She didn't want her dogs getting pregnant.

Neighbor's dogs were Italian. She didn't want them... You fucking scumbag. You don't mix, you don't talk to them. That's wild. Did you have a BB gun? No, I've never had a BB gun. Me either.

You were a BB gun kid. I was a big BB gun kid. My parents got divorced. Yeah, there you go. And it was just like, yo, dad, you want to buy the affection? It's a mini bike. It's BB guns. It's a go-kart.

Were your parents divorced? No. No? You were a regular fucking two-parent BB gun kid? Yeah. That's wild. Old BB gun, too. Really? The one straight out of the Christmas story. The Red Ryder? Yeah. That's wild. Old BB gun, too. Really?

It's like the one straight out of the Christmas story. The Red Ryder. Yeah. That was my intro to BB guns as well. Yeah, that's why I wanted one to begin with. Was it multiple pumps or one pump? Just one pump. See, that didn't hurt that bad.

No, they're not that strong. That's not that bad. They're not that strong. Yeah, the hitting the dog's not that bad. Because, dude, when I was a kid, it was fucking... Yeah. Pump action? Yeah.

Fuck somebody up. Those flat-nosed pellets, man. Saw a kid, it was fucking. Yeah. Pump action. Fuck somebody up. Just flatten those pellets, man. Saw it off. Mini gun. My brother's boy took fucking this kid out riding a 10 speed down our street. He got underneath the car and fucking waited there like fucking like Bradley. Lone survivor. Dude. And fucking took this kid out.

It was like something out of a movie. Caught him right in the ankle, right over the fucking head of the fucking bent speed no way oh he flipped the bike over the bike that's wild that's brutal yeah we never got to bb guns because my when we had like knives and my parents also got us fucking nice or like it was like we had a switchblade me and my sister did and she fucking cut cut herself on our first day playing with where did you get the switchblades flea market, probably? Yeah. Because they were illegal.

Exactly. That's exactly what it was. We got it at a flea market or thrift stores. We were a Chinese star family. Oh, those things were fucking all right. No, you weren't. Throwing stars? Yeah, dude.

A whole family would get together. As a family? Fake out the squirrels that were in the attic. Everybody strapped up, meet me upstairs. Baseball on a dartboard with fucking ninja stars? No, we came across them like probably like something like that, like some shitty flea market. And like, you know, the fucking dude

in the back fucking get them, had like four or five of them fucking stashed them away. You would just look at them. Because you realized how fucking dangerous they were. They're so dangerous. I think I would cut myself while throwing them. Dude, yeah. Fucking fuck somebody up. You can't really throw them at your wall. Trees. Yeah, that's it, I guess.

I had a blowgun, a blow dart gun for a minute. Oh, really? Yeah. They was like... Threw up in the Maldives. Shout out to Nepal. Fucking poison tips. What were you shooting with it? I came with arrows, like fucking long

metal arrows it was like uh what he was stealing their gold how old are you that actually sounds sick i was like 10 dude they were running from a big boulder chasing him down the hill yeah they were they were serious it was like yeah real serious and you would fucking they would fly out of there dude and we would shoot them up in the air oh and we'd all sit like we'd all have our backs in a circle and someone would shoot it up in the air. Oh, Jesus. And we'd all sit, like we'd all have our backs in a circle and someone would shoot it up in the air. And it was like, we played like chicken or whatever

to see who was the last person to run. What? And, you know. That's like a TikTok game. Don't they do that with like, they throw up like a football or some shit like that? Yeah.

I saw that from grownups. They do that with the football. Oh, yeah, yeah. Very similar. With a football? Football, all right. Football's not bad. Football's not bad.

Yeah, we were like eight, too. Machetes. Again, my dad was... Yeah. That shit was no joke. Dude, me and my friends used to get hammered in high school, and we would shoot each other. We'd all stand up, and we'd shoot each other in the back with the airsoft guns. How hard was that?

That was pre-mine. Those gave you welts. They hurt a good bit. Yeah. When we were real little, we used to get a little piece of pipe, and we'd play war in the woods, but we'd use the pipe for as a rocket launcher with bottle rockets. Yeah. And that looking back,

I'm like, fuck man, that hit you in the fucking thing. There's no control over. Forget about the school pictures. Yeah. Yeah. Your life is over.

Facial reconstruction. Permanent or like losing a finger, getting like a JPP hand, like just fucking multiple. That was M80 territory. That thing, that's worse than M80. That still haunts my fucking dreams, seeing that picture. Still plays good, though.

You're talking about the guy from the Giants. Yeah, yeah. He still kind of plays good. Yeah, he was just playing. Yeah, he's not, but he's still in the league with fucking, it is pretty crazy. Eight figures left. Yeah. I guess you don't really need your fingers.

Not at that position. Yeah, it's not, you know. Is it a defensive lineman or? Yeah, you just have to like tape your hands up and slap people. I've been seeing a bunch of videos of like dads getting their fucking fingers bit off by like fish and shit. I saw the shark. Like a fish and shark and shit like that.

He's like, oh, fuck my pinky. Yeah. I would have. Yeah, exactly. I would have been mortified. But that's wild. That was a little shark, too. I know.

And that's what throws me for a loop, because I think a shark has to be massive to open his mouth big enough to take something off me, but my fucking digits, my fingers. You get a little three-footer, it'll fucking gank you. Dude, bull sharks are tiny, and those things are, they say they're the most deadly shark in the world. He chimes in with his species. Actually, the North American bull shark. tiny. And those things are, they said, they're the most deadly shark in the world. They fuck people up. He chimes in with his species.

Actually, the North American bull shark has 80 pounds of torque per bite. Are you talking about a hammerhead? No, I'm petrified of sharks. Yeah, me too. Petrified. I hate the ocean. And there's been a shitload of attacks over the last fucking year. It's whatever. And there was just one in

Hawaii where the lady, they were out snorkeling, the lady disappeared. They found her bathing suit and shit later, and the way they worded it in the article was that she was killed by a very aggressive tiger shark that's been roaming the

area. I mean, that's like Halloween shit. This guy's got a fucking agenda. They're pissed off. I got a bone to pick. They're pissed off about something because they've been getting people fucking left and right over the lake. Haven't they all been gathering off the East Coast as well? There was like the wild amount. There was like 7,000 tracked sharks.

Yeah. All for some reason just met up on the East Coast. So fuck. We gotta send a militia, dude. We gotta send out some dudes out there. We gotta send our baddest dudes out there to fuck the sharks up. Totally OK with that. Do they say the great white? They don't understand the pattern. It travels it.

How long they've been tracking. They have no idea why they go, where they go, when they go. It's not just and they live. They live for like 100 years or something. Sharks live forever. Do they? I think one of the longest living species of anything is a shark.

It's been around for 500 years. They're just fucking with the scientists. They probably take the sensor off and leave it. They put it on another car and it's going by. Like mobsters?

A submarine. Have fun tracking this. Put it on me as I'm body surfing. Just tag it on you. Come up, I got 12 guns in my face. Whoa, whoa, whoa. But I've always, I've always since a little kid

fetishized saving someone from a shark attack. Like I want to do it so bad because I think it was because they told me early on that when the shark locks onto one person, it stays locked onto its initial prey.

So you can go in and be the second man in on the shark. I don't want the shark. I don't want the shark. I don't want the shark. I don't want the shark. I don't want the shark.

I don't want the shark. I don't want the shark. I don't want the shark. I don't want the shark. I don't want the shark. I don't want the shark. Start working the body a little bit. And they'll be like, oh, you're not the guy.

You would be eating your punches and they would turn over to you and saw you in the hole. That's true. It's not like a pickle. Also, you'd have to be the calmest dude in the world to be like, all right, let's go. He's got your boy all locked up. There's blood everywhere. You're like, now's my time.

He's not the one. Hold my white glove for a second. I'll be right back. Hold my sea high ice. I'm out. Like the guy who punches the kangaroo, the guy's not the one. Hold my white glove for a second. I'll be right back. Hold my sea high ice. I'm out. The guy who punches the kangaroo, the guy who saves his dog. Oh, that dude's a pain.

He just has to wear it up. That was just a great fucking video. Gets the dog out and just hits him with a two-piece. Kangaroos know something. They're more self-aware than we realize. They are sneaky. They're real human. They really are.

They are. Because when he hit that kangaroo, the kangaroo didn't freak out and fight back. He looked him like how dare yeah he was like bitch what we had a deal like a fucking parent at the bank just like excuse me there's rules of engagement yeah he looked like what the fuck have you guys ever seen the pictures or videos of the kangaroos when they're standing in the water and it looks like they're like it's some sort of like tactic that they use against like their prey. And they like stand in the water to make it look like they're drowning. But they're so tall.

So they're actually just straight up standing up. So things come and then they fucking. And then things come and then they just drown them. Really? Yeah. Wait, the kangaroos eat me? Dude, I'm more worried about kangaroos than sharks. Yeah, they do.

They do eat me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucked up. Dude. Don't they have like crazy claws too? Yeah, they got claws and they got fucking. They like gut you. They're like velociraptors. And they headlock you too. I think they're like big headlockers they're jacked you ever see there's

a couple that are like the dog yeah they had him in the headlock in the fucking full nelson the other one's punching in his stomach about to power bomb them people's elbow on their ass yeah fuck that shit you guys i gotta find a picture of them standing in the water that's crazy that's real creepy. Horrifying. Pulling the fucking honey pot or something? Wait, look at this. Look at this. Look at this picture.

Oh, shit. And it's just. Oh, dude, that's real ominous. It's just standing straight up waiting for someone to come. That's crazy. Dude, look at that thing. Yeah. Fucking all yoked up.

They are jacked. That's a human fucking a deer. Yeah. I think that that's got to be. It has to be. You're not that bad as the combo. That's a guy on roids human fucking a deer. Yeah. I think that that's got to be what that is. It has to be. You're not that bad as the combo. That's a guy on roids who fucked a deer. Yeah, exactly.

Then they're just pumping roids into their offspring. That has to be what it is. Because why are their muscles like that? Why are they so developed in their body? And also, like, he's flexing. He's showing off the goods. He's showing off the traps. He's like, what's up, dude?

That is bullshit. Got a ring light in front of him. Yeah. Bryce Hall is just a kangaroo. He's just in a TikTok house fucking flexing. See his boy in the background fucking doing his shit. Girls are just simping over kangaroos. Like, who is that?

He's doing some. Rizzy ass fucking kangaroo. A girl would fuck a kangaroo and they wouldn't be able to tell anyone. They'd be like, that was the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. That thing leveled me. Went all night, too. Took him three hours to come.

Just want to curl up in your pouch. Just stuff me in your pouch. The next morning, he was gone. I thought we would do brunch, but I guess not. Just hopped off. Ah, they gotta get out of here gotta be at work just gonna stands in a pool wait for somebody wait for someone to go swimming the fucking murderer that's how they get chicks they act like they're drowning oh you saved my

life what are you doing later these hot ass kangaroos bro they're buff as hell yeah i don't i wouldn't i'm afraid of australia all around a little bit i would like the flight that's a fucking hump of a flight the spiders the spiders the sharks the wall everything can't do it even the drunk ass dudes are pretty fucking lunatics with that with that funny accent i can't do it how long is that flight to hawaii so what do you guys fly to california he's gone i'm not going to hawaii we had we got offered a show in hawaii and i'm like dude i'm not flying to fucking hawaii yeah what'd you think? We were going. I thought you guys were going.

I thought you guys were going for a show. Yeah. I think you go everywhere. I thought you guys were going for a show. So who's the plus one here? No, his girl's from Hawaii. Yeah. She's from Hawaii.

It's 10 hours. Direct from JFK, which ain't that bad. It's actually not that bad. Yeah. It's not that bad. Wait, there's direct flights? I would assume you'd had to go to like California or some shit and fly from there uh hawaiian airlines has direct flights i think delta has some too they didn't for a long time but they kind of just started doing it i

think the first time he went recently before he started making money before like the pod did well he didn't have any money before we started making money before we started making money uh it was during the pandemic uh it was during the pandemic. He was flying. And dude, well, your layover was like here to Chicago, Chicago to Milwaukee, Milwaukee to Portland, Portland to L.A. That's crazy. I'm like, dude, I'd put a gun in my mouth. Yeah, that's JFK to Minneapolis and then took a fucking bus back to Cleveland. Holy shit. Got on a fucking plane there.

No, in Minneapolis, he's like, wow, we got a 12 hour layover. We're going to go check out the town. It was like December. I'm like, who the fuck wants to check out Minneapolis? It was like negative four degrees. Oh, my God. Go to the Mall of America. It was a 24 hour trip.

From the time we left the house to the time we got to Hawaii, it was 24 hours. That sucks so fucking bad. Yeah. Was it awesome when you got there, though? Yeah, it was great. I'd never been anywhere like that before. I fucking, I love it there. Yeah. It was more of a Wildwood kid growing up. That anywhere like that before. I fucking, I love it there. Yeah.

It was more of a Wildwood kid growing up. That was in Maui. It's a little bit of a different vibe. Less ukuleles down fucking in Wildwood Crest. Back in the water, ain't great.

Yeah, what the hell is this? What are these beautiful vistas? There's not even needles on this piece. What's the deal? What are all these squirmy H's around here? Hawaiian dudes are

annoyingly like talented like they're athletic as fuck they're strong chill ass dudes and they all can fucking like sing

beautifully they can surf soft pitch the ukulele fucking it's sweet did you do any like did you go to

like a luau or anything while you're out there because doesn't that feel a little bit when you go to a luau out there doesn't it feel like you're kind bit when you go to a luau out there? Doesn't it feel like you're kind of like not supposed to be doing that?

A hundred percent. Yeah. It's like a little bit dirty. I'm super. I'm very superstitious about the island just because of its history and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. And he's crazy. They don't like the Haoleys.

Yeah, they don't. The Haoleys fucking ruin it. They don't. But like there's that thing where like you're not supposed to take anything from the island and you're supposed to do more for the island than you take from it and all that kind of stuff. I don't know. I buy in all that stuff, so I keep it real chill. And plus, her being local, they told me all these legends or wives tales or whatever

about night marchers and this and that and all this. What's a night marcher? It's like a ghost of like... A guy who steals your shit in the middle of the night. Somebody dogged a bounty hunter couldn't catch. Guy's out on bomb.

They say they're like ghost warriors from the past that roam around in the jungle or whatever. Stay out in the jungle you'll be alright. Damn, dude. Yeah.

That sounds mystical though. Yeah, mystical is the right word. Do they want do they want their sovereignty? Do they want their sovereignty? Does Hawaii want their sovereignty? Do they want, like, U.S. out? Oh, I'm not sitting on city council. I don't know what kind of pool you think I got over there.

It sounds like you're dipping the toe that you're about to be half Hawaiian. I'm just a fat guy with a jack-in-the-box. Or a night marcher. With a Hawaiian shirt eating some fucking pineapple pizza. I don't know. They got a jack-in-the-box. Or a night marcher. The Hawaiian shirt eating some fucking pineapple pizza. I don't know. They got a pretty tight spot over there, though. That's the nicest place I've ever been. Have you guys ever been anywhere tropical?

Not like that, no. No? No, Florida. You? I did Sarasota once. I bought Coke in Jacksonville one time. I've never been anywhere tropical. See, I figured you guys would have tried.

I think you do. I went to Hawaii on my honeymoon See there you go Rowan's been to like six tropical places this month I feel like you were setting me up now No I'm asking because He was dropping vocab Where did you go? When we were in

We went to Maui and what's the island The Nepali coast or whatever So whatever island that is with. I've only ever been to Oahu. Jurassic Park. Honolulu. Also in, you know. You're thinking of Kauai, I think it's called.

Kauai, exactly. He also, every picture he's ever sent me, he's been in a parking lot. So it's not like he's hanging out like what like the locals do. Yeah, you're not. He's like, there's like McDonald's and shit. Yeah, we're in the streets. That's way dope. He's doing his laundry in a laund McDonald's and shit. Yeah, we're in the streets. That's way dope. He's doing his laundry in a laundromat and shit.

That's literally why I was asking. It's not the Malibu for a hundred. They're not in the Four Seasons eating Mahi Mahi. He's stucking it out at a strip mall. Yeah, eating a hot dog. Some pre-cooked food. But they told a story about a dude who was like, I guess he was there before it became a state. And he never paid his taxes.

And he took the state of Hawaii to court federally. And they said, like, he doesn't have to pay taxes. Like, he's grandfathered in. So he's just sweet and good to go. He never has to pay taxes in his entire life. I know there is a lot of that stuff over there. That's kind of fucking sweet. They limit who can I think I'm speaking

in turn here, but they limit who not from the island can like buy property and stuff like that. They like to try to keep everything local and not because billionaires were just going and buy fucking everything. Yeah, totally. Most of it is like a nature preserve. Like the only the only island has

like a big city i think is is oahu is the capital where honolulu is the rest of them like it's just little pockets the rest of it's all untouched yeah that's kind of fucking sweet fucking real that's awesome that's kind of badass dude especially do that shit down at the ocean city boardwalk one t-shirt place closes and other ones going up next weekend keep it it moving. Did you guys ever do a thing where you are smoking a cigarette? Yep. And then you walk to a store and then you leave the cigarette on the ledge outside of the store? Have I done that at a Wawa?

Of course. Am I proud of it? Absolutely not. It was in my younger days. I was trying to be cool. Did I leave my car on with the windows down pumping 50 cents? Probably. Was many men knocking on my Pioneer 6x9s? days i was trying to be cool did i leave my car on with the windows down bumping 50 cent probably was many men knocking on my pioneer six by nines of course it still knocks too dude buddy i came

here listening to 50 cent radio the sad part of those is when you see one that was left like they never went back for it's just all a hash it's been rained on five yeah long as someone was you gotta bring it out dry it out yeah they forget you gotta blow dry it to be able to reuse it. Yeah, put it in the microwave. Yeah, microwave it in. Do you ever catch a butt in a beer bottle at school, at college? What do you mean? Someone put a cig in there?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That happened. 100%. Some light can got me. Or a dip, or like a dip in a spinner. I would fucking cut my head off. Yeah, on New Year's Eve, my buddy was drinking a beer and he said at the end of it,

he realized that there was a zin in the bottom of it. How do you wait until the end to realize it? I don't know. I think someone just dropped it. How is that fucking possible? Bud Light Peppermint? Yeah.

I thought it was a new flavor. That's so fucking disgusting. I even got good, because it happened enough times where I would smell like the dip spit at the last second and be able to like whip it away.

None of my boys ever really dipped. We all just smoked cig so I never had to fucking look out for that. I was always gross to me like the water bottle with like

just brown liquid and you get in someone's car you're like what is this? Smoke a cig like a goddamn gentleman. I felt so cool the first time

that I put one outside of a place and went like went inside did my business and then picked it up, still burning outside. That's all for show. Kids outside, you're starting their foreheads. That's only for you. No one thinks you're cool. No one thinks I'm cool at all, dude.

I would do it with weed, not thinking that. I was like, no one knows I'm fucking smoking weed. i definitely stunk so much like weed at the coffee shop fucking eyes red just disgusting like thinking i was the man like but just scumbag like rick and morty t-shirt scooby-doo pants just an absolute loser thinking i was the fucking man i'll be right back for that those were bad days they were bad days thinking you're awesome if you think you're awesome you're for sure not awesome if you think you're doing something that looks cool you are the furthest thing from it doesn't look cool at all dude just seeking to be seen with that shit i i saw what dude i pulled up in my i remember i would pull up to like you know the fucking Exxon or the Wawa in my fucking white 1996 Chevy Lumina.

You're a derp. Blasted my radio with an F-derp with a fucking head unit in that was just like, it was from my sister's. It was just a bad look. And what's a head unit? Like the CD player. Because this was back before, like I had a used car, so it only had a cassette. Did you take it out? Yeah, you could pop it off.

If I parked in a bad neighborhood, I'd take it with me. It's the most expensive thing in the goddamn car. And I'd leave the car. And I remember I would pull up and I would park in the fire lane or whatever and hop up and run in to get Sig's music on. Some sort of lanyard on my keys or whatever. Oh, dude, lanyards. I would have stolen your car dude i was i thought i was cool and then i was at a fucking acme and i saw this dude do exactly what i did and it was like a year and i was like oh man

i am the biggest that's what you look that i am the biggest dork what it take it took it to see myself doing it you know what i mean you guys are younger you might get this and i'm gonna sound like a pop-up but something that drives me out of my like murderous rage through my body are the kids driving around in those fucking cars with the fucking crackers on the back the bang bang bang bang bang bang you know i'm talking about they put that to cool it's like you know fast and furious muffler oh yeah yeah yeah in the hood they're riding around the hood i feel like it drives you hear a lot of it yeah dude that in the city oh great i just saw it i saw an Audi the other day and it was like rumbling down

7th Avenue and you're like, this is just echoing. Yeah, you're just pissing everyone off. You're pissing off 5,000 people right now. Sounds like gunfire going on. They have like an absurdly loud custom system. It's like, who has a system? Dude, why is your music, like that's not enjoyable.

You're going to be going deaf. My buddy had a Mercury Cougar it's like who has a system it's 2023 why is your music like that's not enjoyable yeah you're gonna be going deaf my buddy had a mercury cougar and he put like a fucking five thousand dollar jl system in it with the subwoofers yeah and dude they used to hit so you couldn't hear anything it was just and the car rattled so much that shit would start falling off yeah like the rearview mirror would fall off the visors would just from constant constant shaking. Like this is barely a car. Yeah, exactly. Just driving at home and listen to the fucking radio. What pisses me off, too, is when people walk down the street holding a speaker.

Dude. The Bluetooth. The public Bluetooth. I'll give you. I'll buy you headphones right now. That guy's rapping out loud or singing. Fucking like, dude, shut up. Walking and rapping.

You're not getting discovered. Stop knocking the fuck off, man. Yeah. Dude, kids used to walk around school with a speaker latched onto their backpack. It's insane. Playing music in between periods. I always stay clear of those people because I assume, with my logic, I say, that guy has a gun on him or that guy's looking for a fucking fight.

Yeah, it's bait for someone to tell you to shut up. Nobody does that. No. It's an attention thing. Yeah. You sit down on the plane and a guy's watching YouTube videos at full volume. It's just insane. That's just a dickhead.

That's just a pure dickhead. That in the FaceTime with no headphones on. Yeah, insane. I'm getting on a flight. Yeah. It's like, yeah, dude, I know. We're about to take off. God damn.

Hope this plane goes down. Or when you land. It's always when you land. Oh, they got to get on the phone right away? Do you guys ever notice like a... Just touch down in New York. In New York. So did 10 million other people. Because if somebody's still picking you up from the

airport in 2023, you're a fucking loser. Dude, if you're doing a New York airport pickup run, that's crazy. Dude, I was thinking about this yesterday because I landed in New York and you guys travel all the time for stand-up. uh dude it's so funny seeing people land and they're like calling all their loved ones and they're like we made it landed safe and i'm like dude i haven't like flown like for like joy or like for like fun and so i'm doing it i'm we i have a vacation

coming up in february and i'm like it's so sad it's like you know whatever we get to do this a fucking awesome like you know a really cool thing a really cool job but it's like you're in the airport everybody's going 90 of the people are like we're going on vacation and i'm sitting there i'm like i'm going to fucking pulso for six hours to then get on a plane and fly and you're like i can't drink i need to be sharp for work tonight and it's like i've ever said to my wife i'm like i just want to get on a plane and have fun. Like, go somewhere that's nice weather. Feel the anticipation.

Yeah, like, this will be good. This will be fun. Vacation airport is a much different vibe. Yes. Where are you going? Where are you going in February? Puerto Rico. Oh, hell yeah.

That'll be fun. Yeah, first time. You going to cockfighting there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you actually? No. On my bachelor party, I went to the cockfighting there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you actually? No. On my bachelor party, I went to the cockfighting in Puerto Rico. There's like a stadium.

I guess I'm going to a fucking cockfight. Yeah, dude, it was kind of barbaric. Inhumane. Yeah. I can imagine. You lay action down, I'm assuming, right? Do they do it to the death? No, it's like 10 minute rounds.

Can you tap out? What's the deal? But yeah, they do stop them if someone's too fucked up, but they don't like die right there. They like take them to a deep fryer. I don't think they're taking them to urgent care after the fucking match. They don't have the ambulance pulling out. They're putting them in a trash bag

and taking them home for dinner. The concussion tent. The blue tent around them. They just pick them up by the neck. Yeah, it's brutal, but they sell chicken empanadas there, but the chicken didn't taste fresh. Rooster empanadas? Yeah, exactly. I don't know if I could do that. Could you do a bullfight? Would you be okay with that?

I would be okay with anything cultural if it's okay culturally there. If it's like that's what they're doing. There was a young family there, but then we walked out and they were like speaking English from Minnesota or something. They were taking it in culturally too. I was like, oh, nice. A family here.

Mostly it was like older men in like the lower ring, like betting cash in Spanish, like screaming out like I couldn't even follow how they were betting. That's fun. I like that. But I couldn't do the animal thing. Yeah. Maybe too rough. We were there were like 11 dudes and like within the first five minutes, seven of them

left. And there was just four of us fucking maniacs fucking slapping money in their hands. That's a cock fight? Yeah, the cock fight. I'm going to go check out the waterfall, man. I can't do this. Yeah, that'd be me. I'd start crying.

I think I'd rather go to a cock fight than a bull fight for sure. But bull fights are fucked. They I think they always die. Yeah, they fucking they're good. The bigger they are, the sadder it is. Yeah, they throw little fucking spears at them fucking over the course of the fight. And then I think they always die. Yeah. They fucking. If they're good. The bigger they are, the sadder it is. Yeah, they throw little fucking spears at them fucking over the course of the fight. And then I think fucking. Yeah, if it was bull on bull, it'd be one thing.

But it's human against bull. Yeah. Like it's. Yeah, but that human can get fucked up, though. Sure. The bull can get his licks in. That's true. And fuck you up.

I like the running of the bull. I don't like that he died, I guess. Or I'm kind of, you know, I generally don't give a fuck. Why, they kill the bull? Like, what am I talking? I've had running of the bull. I don't like that they die, I guess. I genuinely don't give a fuck. I've had bacon and hamburger today. What the fuck am I talking about? I genuinely don't care. But it's like those bulls do fuck people

up and run into the bulls and shit. I love seeing an animal or anybody getting the humans is alright. I'm fine with that. I love it. It's too close to the tiger cage. Yeah.

Trying to get a cool pick or whatever. And they fucking latch onto their forearm. Yeah. That's what you get. I'm all for that. I'm definitely for them when they escape the zoo. It's like that. That rules.

Yeah. Yeah. When you hear about a tiger roaming the streets of like Seattle or something. Yeah. This is awesome. Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to get to the airport.

My first flight for vacation travel a lot for work i got a family back in the sahara what do you guys think about the way that they like humanely kill lobsters sometime though have you ever seen that where like lobsters like they can almost pick their own fate and there's like two there's like two conveyor belts. There's just no way they're picking their way. There's no way. Lobsters walk up to two conveyor belts and they can like pick which one they go on and one like leads to safety and one of them like just dumps them

in boiling water. No, that's not humane. We get it out. That's more inhumane. It literally is. I think it's like a humane way. You are deep YouTube. That's crazy. Well, I've seen think it's like our humane way. You are deep, YouTube. Yeah, but that's crazy. Oh, I've seen it. You should check it all. You should check it all.

You should check it all. Red Lobster. Dude, Rona's seen it all. They should, dude. And Red Lobster, they're hand selecting like, God, the one that's going to die, dude. At least let there be some kind of natural selection. That is, dude, that's less humane. They're going whichever way their eyes are pointed.

Wait, so you're telling me there's a lobster processing plant that they let half of the lobsters go? And like, well, it's like they put them back in the conveyor belt and they make the right decision. Choose right. House always wins, baby. Yeah, I mean, come on. What are you, fucking nuts? Hey, half our inventory is gone.

They chose left. No way, dude. I'm fine with killing all that shit. I always feel guilty sliding them into the pot. Yeah, exactly. They're alive as they're- They can feel it, too. Oh, they're screaming.

Don't they have no central nervous system? No, they said there's new studies that they can feel it. Yeah, they know what's going on. And they're screaming. You hear a high-pitched buzz. No, that's oxygen leaving. That's not them screaming. They're lungs.

No, they don't have lungs. No, that's oxygen. They're so juicy and sweet, though. Yeah, they are. That and octopus. I've been feeling real guilty about eating octopus. Why? Did you watch the documentary?

No, but I've seen that one get out of the jar and fucking slip off the boat. No, he's fucking it. They know what's going on. Yeah, they know. Oh, they know exactly what's going on. Oh, yeah. A couple million years, they'll be fucking riding rascal scooters and shit like that. They're probably telling the sharks.

They're probably like, go up here. They're probably like riding the back of a shark, like fucking crying. True, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like just in the brain at the top of the shark, fucking squatting up. I don't probably like riding the back of a shark like fucking crying just in the brain at the top of the shark fucking squatting up. I don't have a problem with any of that.

But again, rolled octopus in a nice Greek joint. Oh my God, with like a yogurt sauce and some fucking olive oil. Oh my God. Did you guys see that Patrice O'Neill bit

that the seller on Instagram posted about? Just recently. Yeah. What was it? He's like, I couldn't kill anything that has eyebrows.

And then he's like, he talks about like if you kill a fish they just stare at you oh man eyebrows yeah yeah that's all right that is fucking hilarious dude well we appreciate you guys coming and fucking thanks for having us guys yeah that's everything you want to plug so much yeah we want to plug uh we added a third show at the Gramercy Theater, February 3rd. It's a Friday night. There's about 50 tickets left to that. The other two are sold out.

Get those tickets if you're in New York. The live show, it's me and him co-headline. And then we play Are You Garbage with the audience. It's a good fucking time. And Sass, we've got to have you on the show. We're going to have you back at some point. I love it. Hell yes.

Are You Garbage, go listen. Just crushing it. Fast growing. Fucking making motherfucking money dude hanging up dude traveling going to hawaii puerto rico no way overs baby no way it's fucking sick bro you guys are living congratulations thank you guys for being here you guys yeah appreciate it hell yes bro appreciate you guys thank you