Son of a Boy Dad - Apartment Session II - Son of a Boy Dad #148 (LIVE)

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

Apartment Session II - Son of a Boy Dad #148 (LIVE) -- Francis joins Rone in Lil Sas' apartment -- Ad: Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/son50 and use code son50 to get 50% off.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, we should be live. Let's see if it's working. Live? Yeah. Are we live?

I don't know. Let's see. Check the comments. Check and see if the comments say, hey guys. There's a 60 second delay. There's a 60 second delay? Yep. Well, let's get into it. We are here. I guess if there's a 60 second delay, we can't just sit here and wait. At Lil Sasquatch's apartment in the west village and yeah exactly we can't wait we have to pretend that it's working i think it is working i think it's live oh look comments they're here oh fuck yeah all right let's go podcast time yes podcasting from little sasquatch's apartment right here in the heart of the West Village, Primo Turf.

This is some of the most sought-after real estate in all of New York City. In fact, a lot of young women will forego closet space, decent kitchens, general safety at night just to say that they live in the West Village. True story. It's a very true story. Yeah, it's a great neighborhood. It's your first time being here. It's a good neighborhood to haunt. It is, very.

You can haunt women in here. Do you believe in ghosts? Sure. You do? Yeah, I was talking about just being a general kind of lurky, spooky guy. Have you ever seen You, the show? An intimidating force. Have you ever seen the show You?

There, but not seen. I have seen You. Doesn't that, isn't that in West Village? It but not seen. I have seen You. Doesn't that, isn't that in West Village? It may well be. I think it is. It may well be. A lot of low windows.

You're on a low floor, so it wouldn't be too hard to get in here. I've thought about it before, and I've thought about the fact that if someone really wanted to, they could just throw a fucking brick straight through that window.

Ah, we could. We could do. No harm, no foul. Lots of foul, though. Gosh. You're out of frame when you get in like that. We could do. No harm, no foul. Lots of foul, though. Gosh. You're out of frame when you get in like that. You got nothing. You got no protection.

Don't play with the curtain. Don't play with the curtain. You got no protection here, amigo. You got no idea how hard it took to set up that curtain. How long do you sleep at night? How do you sleep at night? Why? What do you mean?

Knowing that it would be very easy for someone to just scale up here and come on in here it wouldn't because that door is sealed shut because of the mouse the mice do you see the foam on the side there's no way anyone's getting in there but you said a brick a brick brick would do it a brick a little closer a little cozier here no definitely not you sure yeah i'm sure it's chilly out you can move that bag by the way i'll move the bag just to create a little more room for us kind kind of snuggle up here. Well, I'm happy to see you. I haven't seen you in a fucking long ass time. Yeah, I got a funny story for you.

I kind of told it to... Is this going to be about Boston? Yeah. Yeah, I was actually thinking about stuff for us to talk about and that was the first thing that came to mind. Yeah, man. I went to Boston. So please do. Get into it.

Pretty sick. I think it's the first time I've ever sold out all five shows in a weekend. Yeah. I've sold out four weekends where I only had four. Yeah. But having five shows and selling them all out was pretty sweet for me. You've done it. So no big shakes for you.

No, I've only done it in Boston. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, shout out to Boston for being incredibly loyal and enterprising fans. They buy their tickets early. They come out. They're great crowds.

I love Boston. To me, it's my home city. Yeah, probably. I mean, you're from New England. I'm from two hours from boston that was the big city to me yeah and i went to school there for four years and uh i wish i could live there boston i love boston boston's a nice city but it's pretty small there's not a ton going on good restaurants everything you need that's true there is good restaurants actually i don't really

know i like everyone is like i don't really know a ton about boston despite the fact that i grew up 30 minutes from boston but i was never at an age where i was like going out in boston yeah good new york's the only this is the first city that i was able to like go out in right right well okay so i'm there um i get there do sound check do all my stuff, play the piano, check all the levels. Happy days. Good to go. Shows are sold out. I'm sitting pretty.

Do you like that room? I don't mind it. Yeah, it's okay. All right, continue. This is so funny. I told the story to like 100 people. I brought Brandon Barrera with me on the road. So I have a trusty opening act.

The host was this young kid from Boston named Jay Martin. Great, great host. Super funny. Just went up and did jokes. That's what I like. Yeah, it's a good host. Save the crowd work for the headliner. Yep.

So five minutes before the show starts, the general manager of the club comes in and tells me, actually it wasn't even the GM, it was the host. Yeah. This kid comes in and he's like, listen, they just told me that there's going to be a sign language interpreter on stage with us. And I said, excuse me? And it's also, it's not like you're doing a theater it's a club so the stage is only like 10 feet dude the stage at laugh boston is tiny i was cracking up thinking about it being at like philly helium it's so small and i go what do you mean and he goes apparently there are 25 deaf people in the audience.

Which is a large percentage of the crowd. It's like almost, it's like 8 or 9%. Most clubs won't let a group bigger than 20 buy tickets. Yeah, I know. To avoid, I guess like some kind of, you know, to avoid having one group take over the whole show. Yeah, because they easily could. Yeah. So there's 25 deaf people in the audience and they've got good seats.

Yeah. They're sitting up front. Oh, okay. I mean, they're up there nice and cozy to the stage. Yeah. They should be put in the back. Well, your words, not mine. I guess they have to be able to see the sign language that's exactly right

so i said okay well hold on a second can the sign language interpreter be down next to their table closer to them so they can better see the signing and they said no they need to be on in the lights of the stage in order for them to properly see their motions and gestures. Okay. So quite truly, the sign language interpreter was on the stage five feet from me. Yeah, you sent me that picture of it. And I'm going to be honest with you. It felt like the sign language interpreter was taking some liberties and kind of hogging the attention oh i'm sure i mean the picture that you sent me the host was on stage and the sign language

interpreter was in front of standing in front standing in front was more upstage than we the performers and the deaf group was hard left looking out, and the sign language interpreter was facing straight forward. Yeah. And I know she knew where her group was. I think she is a failed actor or theatrical human and said, this is the closest I'm ever going to get. I'm going to milk this. the closest I'm ever going to get. I'm going to milk this. I want all the able hearing people to see me.

And I don't even really care about the people I'm supposed to be interpreting for. And then, by the way, I told the host, I'm learning all this in the green room. And then I told the host, I'm like, can we get them in here to just like make sure we're all on the same page? And he says, sure, no problem. And so two minutes later, now it's three minutes until showtime. In walk, three sign language interpreters. Oh, shit. So you got to like pick?

They rotated. Oh, my God. Really? Yes. They rotated. And they didn't like rotate. They don't know the act. Yeah, so they're rotating in the middle of the set.

Middle of jokes. Oh, that's crazy. Down she goes, up comes the next one. So in the middle of that transition, you're losing 9% of the crowd already. It was not easy. Did you make any jokes about it? Of course. Of course.

And they were cool about it now what we later learned what we learned and by the way the the sign language interpreters first of all it was three stunningly beautiful young women oh it was all girls yeah nice and they were all in the graduating class of their northeastern ASL, which is American Sign Language or something, program. That is what it is. It had to be. I wasn't sure if it was Association of Sign Language. Oh, no.

I think it's American Sign Language. What do you know? I know ASL. You know that? No. Me neither. But I know a bunch of people that took ASL in high school. My mom's fluent in sign language.

Is she now? I think so. Cool. Yeah. Well, the point is... This is H. H for Harry? Hairball?

Yep. This is Trump. Is it really? Yeah. That's interesting. He's one of the few people... I said, do most people have their own sign or do you have to just spell their full name out and they said that most people don't you have to spell the full name biden doesn't have his own

symbol really yeah i guess it would just be like a guy conking over and fucking dying just passing out slowly um no but trump because of the hair. Yeah. Which is pretty funny. I wonder if he knows that. Anyway, the point is... They really made it based off of his hair? Yeah, that his... I thought that was just a coincidence. No, that...

This is Trump. The signs are pretty intuitive. Isn't Trump... Trump's a word, though. Isn't there already like a thing for Trump? There probably is. I wonder... But they gave him his own?

They gave him his own because he's he's mentioned so frequently that's crazy and then biden they have to spell out gorillas are this which i liked did you oh so because you have a bit about a bit about the gorilla i was gonna say how the fuck do you know that they did the gorilla did it yeah that's hilarious were people laughing like with that like when they when they did that did everyone laugh yeah yeah i did well yeah but dude the the three girls come into the green room and they're there with their like graduating class teacher another beautiful woman and i was like and they're all dressed did you hand me that bag real quick they're all dressed in black yeah and when i was on stage i said do you guys dress in black so as to keep a lower profile and not distract too much from the show you know yeah subtext hint hint why are you if

you're all dressed in black and you're trying to keep a lower profile why are you standing front and center yeah have you ever seen it like when like walk a flock of flame had the sign language interpreter it's usually i think it's at like festivals that they do that. But those are the pros. Yeah, but they're not even close to the center of the stage. They're like on their own platform, like off of the stage to the side. One time I opened for Pat McAfee at Purdue University for 6,000 people. And it was such a large audience that he had a sign language.

Yeah. Is it pretty common for theaters? I just saw Matt Reif posted a clip with the sign language. I think that's when we'll know we've made it. If you have a sign language interpreter. Yeah. Is it pretty common for theaters? I just saw Matt Rife posted a clip with a sign language interpreter. I think that's when we'll know we've made it. If you have a sign language interpreter? It's when the venue just automatically appoints. And they're like, there has to be at least one in the crowd. An interpreter.

Yeah. For the handful of... Okay. So the point is, to wrap this up, I said, do you have to wear black to keep a lower profile? I feel like you guys shouldn't be keeping a lower profile. We should be championing you. This is really cool. Don't feel like you need to lie low.

I was being a little sarcastic. Yeah, yeah. A little snarky. They said, no, we have to wear black so that it provides a better contrast for the skin tone so that you can see the facial gestures more set off by the black clothing. I guess that makes sense.

Which basically means that... There's a whole science to this shit. Yeah, and the whole fucking job of being a sign language interpreter is not available to black people. Wow. Are you serious? no i'm not serious you goof that would be crazy that would be insane i mean it would kind of make sense just wear white shirts i assume

i don't know lifeguards it seems like a question i'm not gonna ask i made another jab oh man welcome to son of a boy dad podcast check this out we got a little fucking did you hear that no because you don't even give me headphones well because you don't get headphones that was the to do oh that's pretty good i know right yeah that's great we got a bunch all right one last thing um yeah they they they all would swap in i guess that's the whole story i don't need to talk about this anymore no but it is a hilarious thing that happened i remember you texted me like 10 minutes before going on stage and you were like you'll never believe what's happening right now. Just insanity. Yeah, that would fucking throw me off. To have a stunning, highly theatrical and demonstrative person acting out your act in real time, four feet from you on a stage.

Yeah. What person in their right mind in that audience is paying any attention to me? I'd be looking at the sign language. Yeah, I mean, you'd be looking at the the sign language yeah i mean you'd be looking at them the entire time so you've never seen it like when rap when rappers have the sign language interpreter i don't think what you saw was crazy you gotta see this it is fucking nuts i think i've seen some tiktoks yeah yeah like walk a flock of flame will have one of his and it's like they're they're just straight up dancing they're not even just doing sign language

they're like they're getting down dude apparently. They're not even just doing sign language. It's cool. They're getting down. Dude, apparently the facial expressions are a huge part of conveying tone, inflection, vibe, which I was happy to hear. Yeah. Because I felt very self-conscious as soon as I learned of this. Because they're just going to be hearing your jokes

like with no... I was like, man, I don't feel like I've written my jokes tightly enough that someone who is simply transcribing them out with their hands and their face like is gonna that and then i kept looking at the deaf group to be like are they laughing but a lot of them were wearing masks oh dude i was like oh they're not just deaf they're a bunch of filthy liberals tell them to pick one thing that's two things that's crazy you can't be deaf and wear a mask how are we supposed to know how you're you're not even how you're gonna know what's

going on exactly now another thing i learned after the show because i said this all to the whole audience i was 25 apparently there were only like five actually deaf people in the group some of them were just hard of hearing no the other 20 were students so it was all part in the group. Some of them were just hard of hearing? No. The other 20 were students. So it was all part of the group. And then the three girls that had been selected to be the sign language interpreters were, this was like their senior project. They had to go out into the field

and do a demonstration, a live thing. And they had selected my show. And they were like- Were they like fans? No. No, they just picked a random show? And they made a point to say that. They like we selected you we didn't know who you were and i was like well why don't you fucking get the fuck out of here

that's crazy that imagine like who would be the worst person for them to pick and they show up and they're just like oh my god they they were very complimentary to me because i speak slowly yeah which they said helps them a lot. Because conveying comedy typically is very hard because it's so fast and people speak, they mutter, they swallow their words. So I think, I mean, you know, I would say that these signers were lucky to have me. Yeah, probably. You're welcome. You do speak slow.

I speak slowly i'm very articulate um they could have gotten a lot worse yeah who in your mind who's who's coming to your mind that would have been a harder thing like david tells pretty fast yeah yeah that's brian holtzman would be hilarious that would be so funny have you ever seen him live oh dude he fucking just screams the entire time he just yells the whole time that would be hilarious that would be so funny have you ever seen him live oh dude he fucking just screams the entire time he just yells the whole time that would be so funny to see him with a sign language interpreter after the show yeah i met with the whole group and by now i was enchanted by them yeah i was excited you run to their spell this was a deaf spell exactly this was a cultural phenomenon i might experience once in my life and so i wanted to start communicating

with them and i was they did i did speak to one of the adults in their group yeah who was fully deaf and so much so that she doesn't even she doesn't even speak out loud she's just fully silent only have you ever seen those guys speak out loud it's a mess they can't get a single word out it sounds like they're like really banged up is what it sounds like i used to do a bit about that i used to do a bit about how when my about how when my stomach banged up i used to do a bit about how when my stomach banged up. I used to do a bit about when I would have diarrhea how my stomach would make a bunch of noises and it would sound like a deaf person

trying to form a sentence. And it would just be like Oh no. But I stopped doing it because it was poorly received most times. oh no but i stopped doing it because it was poorly received most times it is a funny joke it is funny yeah the point of this though is that well i forgot you can't even make these jokes because now you're like you're like a deaf community hero i'm an ambassador i'm part of the squad you're probably all over the deaf subreddit. By the way, the GM asked...

Deaf people for Frances Ellis. She was in there for the whole intro in the green room, and they were talking about how this is a big project, and then the GM was like, well, would you like the tape of the show after to post on social media? And they were like, oh, that would be great. And I was like, well, hold on a second. Yeah. I don't want my act interpreted out out there oh wait the the

sign language interpreter was asking no the was the gm just offered them the tape yeah like posts on their you know school's website that's crazy they were gonna leave your entire hour of comedy you're just gonna fucking burn that as a teaching tool that's hilarious no well on the bright side and then i had to be like i'm sorry i'm prepping for a special is there any chance and they were like oh oh mr big special over here that isn't even i don't even know if that's true like 10 years of work yes we're just gonna put this on our our fucking on our high school's vimeo account and it's gonna get 37 views

that would be so that would be so funny if they just leaked your whole hour great great signing boy those jokes jokes need some work the deaf community just fucking hates you speaking of yeah they probably love you that adult the one who was deaf one of the teachers at the school who's fully deaf yeah she started giving me notes on my set really swear to god and she was using one of the students to translate to me what were the notes she was like i thought you were good but you can slow down even more oh that's crazy you can't i i was like i don't know i was like i don't think you'd be giving me that note if you could hear anything at all nobody has ever told me to fucking slow down.

That would be crazy if you slowed down. You should not slow down. It sounds like you're fucking ODing on Xanax. Yeah, exactly. We went to see the gorillas. Do you think you're going to

record a special soon? I'd like to. I got offered one of the Don't Tell sets. Oh, really? Me too. Did you? Yeah. Amazing. Are you going to do it special soon? I'd like to. I got offered one of the Don't Tell sets. Oh, really? Me too. Did you? Yeah.

Amazing. Are you going to do it? I think, but it's not for a while. When is it? Not until like March or May or something. Yeah, I got offered the March one, but I can't do that. So I might go out to LA in January to do it. Oh, that'll be cool.

But I don't know. People like them. Yeah, but that'll be like 15 minutes of what I would put in the special. Yeah, and it's tough because it's like your best 15 minutes yeah maybe it's worth it yeah anyway point is um that was my weekend oh and then on the next night um they told me that alex edelman was gonna drop in who's alex Edelman was going to drop in. Who's Alex Edelman? Is he related to Julian Edelman? I doubt it. It's a pretty common last name. What's his deal?

Who is he? He's a good comic. Alex Edelman? Yeah, he's done a lot. He's more of, I guess you would say, he's huge in the alt scene. He's done multiple Colbert sets. He had a one-man show off Broadway that got promoted to Broadway. Oh, shit. and he ran that

for weeks and weeks that's cool i don't know if i know him he's a new york comic but he was doing the comics come home at the garden oh okay with burr and so he's from boston pete davidson and all those guys nice um and he asked if he could drop in to do a spot to like work on his eight minute set he asked the club and the club told me that again five minutes before the show and i was like oh cool yeah let's just put up this like incredibly talented seasoned comic to fucking bury me before i go up the night before yeah and then i learned that he had just come from nicky glazer's show at the wilbur where he had also done time and i'm like dude what do you need this for what more are you gonna gain so he's just taking the steps down the ladder 1200 1,200 person sold out show to my 300 seat hearing impaired open caption accessible show.

Yeah. That's pretty funny though. He did the garden, then the Wilbur, and then just a comedy club. No, he did the garden the next night. So he was using the Wilbur and my show to prep for his garden set. Yeah. That's crazy. That's good shit.

Sounds like a fun weekend. And then the check bounced. Oof. And now I'm getting hit with fraud alerts and I don't know if they're related, but some company called IDT Calling and Billing has been dinging my credit card for $11 and $5 charges all fucking day.

Yesterday, today, and the day before. That's annoying. What is that all about? No idea. Wait, so you didn't get paid? Well, I got the check and the funds weren't. No, it didn't clear. That sucks.

When I got paid there, they wrote the check out to the wrong thing. And then they were like, we're at it. We don't have any more checks. So they're like, we're going to have to send it to you we're gonna have to wire it which then that takes fucking six months yep but not thrilled boston's always fun you get any lobster rolls i went to neptune oyster company yeah that place is elite dude yeah have you been there no it's incredible i've been to most places oh you're from there you should go with your family. It's fucking awesome.

Yeah, maybe I will. Sounds awesome. When I was there, I got a big ass lobster roll and then I went back and I fell asleep for like six hours. Where'd you go to get your lobster roll? I don't even remember, but it was fucking good. I went with Derek and Mook. Uh-huh.

Do you see Dave and Mook interacting? Not really. I don't watch anything out of the Chicago office out of spite. Out of spite? Dude, people are fucking fired up. Oh, shit. Tim Hitchings is back in the chat. Come on.

Tim's always in here. I made a joke about him yesterday. We're trying to make him the moderator of the chat. We're trying to keep the chat very, very positive. We don't want any nasty comments. Really? Yeah. Take your nasty comments over to the Yak.

Because I know the Yak has a lot of nasty comments. used to try and hurt my feelings luckily i fucking barreled through that but uh yeah you made it we're trying to make the uh this this chat the most positive chat we're just everyone's just bringing each other up i think tim's mad because i made a stand about um tj being part of our trivia team oh see i'm not up to date on any trivia drama i know there was like a bunch of drama yesterday you haven't worked for barstool for like six months dude this is fucking this is hq4 right here you're you're on the cobra but no i've never been into the trivia stuff because i just know i'll be bad at it it's fun, but whatever.

There's so much Barstool drama. I got into it with Kirk Minahan and Jeff D'Lo yesterday. I saw it. Just trying to insert some. And Alex Cooper was there. Alex Cooper came through. How was she doing? Good.

I riffed with her for a little bit. Really? I saw her come over and say, hi, Francis, and then she hugged you, and then you walked away. Yeah, well, she was going to sit down on the couch and it was Barstool Radio and I think that it was Tommy, Kevin and... Oh, so you riffed off camera. I came back because I had a whole bit

that I wanted to do with her. I had a 60 minutes mockumentary interview thing I wanted to run with her and I had been told... Erica had told me that I should do it. She had told me

to come up with something. Yeah. And then Tommy got all excited because he wanted to do his forbes 30 under 30 thing with her because she was on it this year right i think last year yeah and then um and then kevin did something with her as well so i i didn't get any get it you didn't get any hours time no didn't get any piece of a coupes everyone wants a slice everyone wants a little little toe cheese what was she doing in the shine. No, didn't get any piece of egg coops. Everyone wants a slice. Everyone wants a little toe cheese. What was she doing in the office?

She's filming something? Because I saw that she had that big-ass camera crew with her. She did. I think she's doing a documentary, which will probably get sold to Netflix for $4 billion. Dude, I got to get a documentary going. She's also playing the theater at MSG, and I think she sold out a couple of those.

She was at... I saw her and Hannah Burner did something together. Did they know? It was a big-ass theater, yeah. Oh, they co-headlined something? I don't know if they co-headlined or if Hannah Burner was just a guest on it. Hannah Burns? That's crazy, dude.

Everyone's doing theaters and arenas now. Not me. No. I'm a man of the people. I like to stick to 50% capacity clubs. Yeah. a man to the people i like to stick to 50 capacity clubs yeah when you start doing when you start doing theaters it just gets so hard to take pictures with everyone well exactly i don't i don't do theaters because it's just like a pain in the ass you got a higher security i don't want

to deal with all that shit i'll i said here's an idea let me do five shows in st louis next week and all of them will have 20 people there yeah exactly smart stick to your roots. I would way rather do 14 club shows than one theater show. That's just who I am. Oh, man. How nice would it be to pull up to a weekend and just do one show and then you go home? Speak the truth, brother. Yeah. Speak the truth.

One day, dude. We'll get there. We'll get there. We'll get there, dog. This will fucking take off and then we'll get there. We'll be doing live Son of a Boy Dad and fucking msg that would be that would be fun imagine we'd probably need to work out we'd probably have to prepare we'd have to work out the run of show a little bit imagine that we just just sitting down in at like the center stage of MSG. What's up, guys?

What's up, dude? How was your weekend? You're in Boston, right? Yeah. You guys know Boston? Where'd you get your lobster roll? Dude, I have no idea. Hey, here's something we were thinking about at the office.

Yeah. Let's talk about the word. And I mean this. I'm going to say the word so I don't want people to freak out. What is it? Retard? Yes. Yeah. I want to talk about the word and i mean this i'm gonna say the word so i don't want people to freak out is it retard yes yeah i want to talk about that word oh so the word um retard some they were we were talking at the office off camera about how people were saying is that word somehow becoming more acceptable to say yeah and i i don't know that it is i don't know that it is and i started thinking about it and i thought of all the slurs

the word retard is actually the one i probably feel in a in some ways i feel the worst about in terms of its application to should we cut this no but let me you're gonna have to end the stream right here i can think of a one hear me that's a lot further obviously there are ones that are worse of course but here's my we gotta clip this out right here let me point let me finish the thought uh the other bad slurs yeah the n word the f word for gay culture have been grasped by their own cultures and made in some way a shield behind which we can use but do gay dudes say the f slur a lot yes they do i don. Mateo says it on the stage all the time. Oh, yeah. I guess that's true. Joey Camasta says it all the time.

Yeah, that's true. And it's funny. You say it constantly. I sure don't. I sure don't. All right. So you think because the retards don't know that. Because they don't call each other affectionately.

What's up, my re? What's up, re's? Where my reese at like they're not they're not saying that they haven't taken it which must mean that it really offends them you don't see the opening ceremony of the special olympics some guy where am i put your hands up reese in the house you don't see it it doesn't happen oh man yeah you're right that's true and so that's true but was it ever a word but was it ever a word that was you i'm genuinely asking i don't know was it ever a word that was used to put down special needs people because i know the other slurs fortunately it was it was a legitimate like

medical yeah that was the medical turn for a long time and then was not um you know i think it was not considered unacceptable and then it proliferated and became a synonym for stupid and then became denigrating to people of special needs and so yeah but i don't know when it was ever like i don't remember ever saying it because i remember we used to say like i mean everyone still does even if they pretend they don't but i remember like like i don't know i've never like i've never said the i've never said retard when i'm looking at a special needs person like that's crazy yeah but that people say maybe the same thing about gay. They're like, I don't mean gay to mean man on man. I mean it to mean stupid.

And it's like, well, is that better? Yes. It definitely is. Why would you say that equating someone's sexual preference to stupidity is somehow not bad? I don't know. I just remember when gay got phased out, and that was like when I was... Gay was in between 8th grade and 9th ninth grade for me because I remember in eighth grade, you'd just say everything was gay.

Yeah. And then ninth grade, it was like, you don't know how to say that. Right. And then everyone was like, okay, we'll stop saying it. Well, I don't know. But look, if people of special needs appropriated the word for themselves, I think everyone would loosen up a little bit, maybe. No, I think once they take ownership of it, that's when it's totally over. Really?

Yeah, 100%. Oh, you might be right about that. Yeah. That's when I'm like, oh shit, only they can say it. Yeah, but there'd still be some... But I have attention deficit disorder. So I'm allowed to. You're going to claim it? I'm like, oh shit, only they can say it. Yeah, but there'd still be some... But I have attention deficit disorder. So I'm allowed to. You're going to claim it?

I'm claiming it right now. I don't know that that's... I'm claiming it. I think that's too distant of a cousin. Yeah, probably. I don't think that's... You're probably right. Enough of a wound.

Is autism close enough? They might get a stake in it. I don't think they get a stake. I think we all know who gets a stake. You want to... Down syndrome people. They might get a stake in it. I don't think they get a stake. I think we all know who gets a stake. Down syndrome people. Yeah, I think that's probably the flag bearer. Yeah.

Oh, man, that was super funny. That was. That killed me. Were you saying that in the office? No, I thought about that on the way here. I left the conversation and then biked here, and I was like, I wonder, oh, has anyone made this point yet? I feel like I've heard this conversation a lot in the office. Yeah, we've got some really feeble-minded people there. Yeah.

Well, I mean, 90% of the people in the office would be allowed to say it if the special needs community claimed it. Maybe there should be a test yeah there should be you know a written test if you score low enough you have access to the word yeah um okay how are you what's going on with your life i'm good dude i'm just fucking hanging out i've been back on fortnight grind heavily uh mook got me back in it got two wins yesterday no wins today but i only played for an hour today right before you win are you talking about you're battling 120 other guys and you win the whole thing yeah that's a you you win that yeah but it's when you when i first got when you

when you don't play for a while you get put in these like super low level lobbies and i'm such a fucking great video game player that i easily like we won our first game on no problem oh because you're now you've been relegated we've been brought down a level but we still are that good i said relegated you said broughten down a level yes exactly it's not a word um so yeah i've been playing a lot of video games dude i've been on like a health kick as of today come on or yesterday too i'm well so this is actually funny janks you know janks only just from the social media sure janks posted uh so frank the tank is losing weight and he's looks good he's lost like a lot of weight and um they posted like his his plan to lose weight and it was like we're

hitting 10 000 steps every day for the last like month straight and i was like that was like i was like dude i don't even get close to 10 000 steps a day and i was like i can't let frank be getting more steps a day than me so the last two days i've gotten 10 000 steps they say that's the goal right you're supposed to get 10 000 a day that's like the ideal number i think you i think it's like if you're overweight and you get 10 000 steps a day you lose a pound a week something like that i don't know but i got my fucking fitbit back on i feel like i could counter the 10 000 steps by eating enough yeah i don't know but i think it's just like it's good to be moving around so i woke up today how often did a little hour stroll here's the water got some coffee that's good to hear panic attack from the coffee almost how often do you not leave your apartment for a full day

so sundays i'll usually never leave my apartment we call that occupying i call that occupying yeah so i i didn't leave but i don't like i don't think i left my apartment sunday or monday because monday ron came over to film and i woke up kind of late because i was flying and i was busy last weekend so i slept in woke up late ron came over we filmed by the time we were done filming it was dark out and then i just sat here and fucking watch tv nice that's a good day but i didn't leave my apartment on sunday or i guess i did because i didn't get back until like 6 p.m but it's not fun it's not a good feeling when you walk outside and like oh shit this is my first time seeing the sun in 48 hours that's dark yeah but i've had some weekends not really anymore because i'm doing

shows every weekend but like i've had some weekends where i don't leave the apartment for 72 hours and then monday i'll go to work and i'll be like oh you feel like shit when that happens yeah i mean no offense but it's not exactly like a nice apartment well it is a very nice apartment it's just there's no decor or anything it feels like a place that you would hide someone dude if you think this is a bad apartment you have you you've never seen i'm being an asshole i lived in a smaller apartment than this oh man my last apartment was half the size of this really oh yeah and this was and i lived in it with three dudes where's your bedroom down there can i tell this

guy to stop drilling what is he doing can they have you been able to hear that the whole time can they hear that no definitely not you sure about they can only hear us talking into here you sure about that all right fine yeah we're good don't worry about him it's this fucking dude across the street who keeps bringing out the leaf blower and there's never leaves but every single day for hours he's just blowing shit around. That's got to be like a good cool down, though. If you're like, if you're like got a lot of energy, you just go outside and just start blowing shit around. Why would that be a cool down?

Because it's probably like relieve stress. It's fun. Have you ever used a leaf blower? It's fun as hell. I find it satisfying. It's very satisfying. And it's like using a power washer. I like chores where you can see the progress of your work. Yeah.

You know what was never as satisfying as I expected it to be was a snowblower. Why not? You ever use a snowblower? No. We got a snowblower. We shoveled forever and then we got a snowblower and we used it like twice and we're like back to shoveling. Why?

It didn't work that well? It doesn't work that well. And it's like picking up rocks and like shooting them at the house. We like broke one of the windows in our house. A rock just came at it going 90 miles per hour. But you can get a higher end snowblower that sifts through snow and rock and discards the rocks and only blows the snow. Yeah, we didn't do that. You guys sound like you got a cheap one.

We did. It was a push one. Are they all push? Yeah, they're all push. I'd imagine there's a sit down. There's no... I'd imagine there's like a John Deere attachment. A riding snowblower.

There's got to be. John Deere's got to have an attachment for that. Yeah, Johnny D does. We had a John Deere. We had a full John Deere. One that you could... We had a bucket in the front and then a plow in the back. We had one for a while.

We had to plow our own driveway because it was like the driveway... We were so deep in the woods. Yeah. The guy who, the town wouldn't plow our driveway. Yeah. We always had, one of my sisters had a friend whose dad would come and do it a lot. That's nice. Yeah.

But, dude, shoveling. Tommy Smokes was saying today on the bracket that. Tommy's probably never had to shovel a driveway. He and his buddies would go around on snow days and they would get 15 bucks an hour. And he was like, and I hated it.

It wasn't worth it. I was like, dude, what? I feel like it's the standard. It's like 20 bucks a driveway. I mean, dude, I feel like I got paid $3. Well, yeah,

but you're also way older than Tommy. Inflation, brother. Think before you speak i beg you versus rich long island but he's even he's not even from long island is he is i thought he was from like brooklyn no no i think he's from long island oh i always thought that tommy lit grew up like in the city he went to fordham that's probably that's in the bronx right yeah it's in the bronx but even i guess long island but long island they don't even have like i guess

there are places in long island where it's fucking big ass houses but i feel like oh yeah majority of long island is like small driveways oh bro long island is wealth well i know it's rich but i like i don't know i've been to long island a bunch what part i don't know not that far out from the city yeah you ever go to that north shore when i went when i went where went where Frankie and like Stu and all them live. Yeah, that's pretty nice. That's pretty nice. But the North part is the Gold Coast.

The Gold Coast. That's where Wolf of Wall Street lived. Is based on. Oh, really? Remember that house that he flies the helicopter home to? Yeah, yeah. That's on the North Shore, I think. And it's also where the Great Gatsby was set.

Really? Yeah, East Egg, I think, is a fictional town. It may not actually be, but it's based on a town out there on the North Shore looking across the Long Island Sound. That's interesting. Did you ever read the book? I read it a couple times. Did you watch the movie?

Yep. What did you think about the movie? The one with Leo? Yeah. I thought it was good. Mid. Why ask if you're going to fucking interrupt my opinion? You said it was good i said it

was mid i was just saying good because i thought you liked it and i wanted you to not feel so you think it's mid too i didn't think it was great it's pretty boring lerman i like that guy yeah i don't know he does all this colorful whimsical shit he did moulin rouge i think which i actually really liked moulin yeah rouge that's it fuck I actually really liked. Moulin. Yeah. Rouge. That's it. Fuck yeah. This is going great. This is one of our best ones.

You think? Yeah, man. We got it going today. That Special Olympics or Arsler bit that you had was very, very funny. I appreciate that. I had a feeling you might like that. Should do that on stage. We'll see.

We'll see. Well, so you got your big show tonight. You your new york comedy festival show tonight yeah i'm not really that like fucking i feel like people people are like hyping this up to me it's like dude i'm just doing a spot like i'm gonna do like a 15 20 minute set what do you mean people are hyping it up to you who's like people like i i had my show yesterday the bar show and everyone's like dude dude, good luck tomorrow. You're the kid. I'm like, dude, I'm not. It's a show. Yeah, right, right. It's not like I'm doing fucking MSG.

No. No. No, no. But yeah, it should be a good time. I'm excited. I'm excited to see my pals. Who you got on the show? No spoilers, brother.

All right, fine. I'll have to wait and see. Keep it close to the tits. Nobody. Just me. Imagine if I just. We'll have to wait and see. Keep it close to the tits. Nobody. Just me. Imagine if I just went up there for an hour and a half. Chappelle style. I was doing long sets in Boston.

I did two that were an hour and 15. Dude, I had a fucking... That's a marathon. When I was in Raleigh, I had to get off, and I got the notification on my phone. It was like, Uber's here. It'll wait for five minutes, and I did two minutes more of material, material got out went straight to the uber had to go to the airport go home what yeah it was crazy what are you talking about it was a fucking rush what are you talking like i was a hustler you had called an uber during your show i had to schedule an uber to pick me up

so i could go to the airport and like as soon as i got off stage i had to grab my bag and rush out to the uber you had a super late flight yeah what time well no i only did one show on saturday or on friday on oh you did one show in raleigh on friday yeah at good nights yes how was that people love that so fun you sell it out yeah i sold out the second one i don't think i sold out the first one oh you had two shows i had one on Thursday, one on Friday. I was supposed to do a full weekend, but I had to go home for this funeral, so everything got moved around. Your grandfather? Yeah.

I'm so sorry about that. No, it's okay. How are you doing? Good. I'm not being weird. You are being weird. No, I'm not. I'm being sincere.

That's a normal question to ask when someone close to you has passed away. Yeah, fine. How are you doing? I'm doing good. You started laughing. Yeah, because it's uncomfortable. And you're staring right through my soul. feel for you i worry about you checking on you i'm doing good are you close to him yes do you not want to talk about it on the podcast no not at all it's important to share though it's not i don't think it is i would

share outside of the podcast i just don't like talking about it. We'll move on. I'm not going to make you squirm. Oh, speaking of, I got a tooth cleaning today at the dentist. Yeah, I got to go to the dentist. And they asked me, they go, do you want George? And I said, who's George? And George will give you a foot massage while they're cleaning your teeth for a dollar an hour.

Dude, what dentist are you going to? Is it in Chinatown? George will jerk you off. George will suck you off while looking at your teeth. I mean, it was. How does that sound? I was getting it good at both ends. You got it?

You're going to pay? They made you pay a1.50 an hour? $1 an hour. That's a 15-minute foot massage for $20. Because I tipped him $5. Dude, that's insane. Bro, I'm getting my teeth hacked. How is he doing both?

My gums are bleeding. How is he doing both? They're sitting me up to swirl and spit. And I'm watching chunks of my own mouth fall into the sink. It's so gross, dude. But meanwhile, all that hacking and sawing is bothering me way less because my tooties are getting tussled. Dude, I think you got like molested.

Yeah, you got molested by your dentist. He stayed in the right zone. So did they keep George in like a cage? And they're like, bring out George. He's on hand. He's on hand. And I don't think he gets a lot of work. I don't think he does either.

I've been going to this dentist for years. They've offered it every time and every time I have turned it down. Because I've been too weirded out. That is so weird. And finally today I said, you know what? Bring out George. Give me George. Give me George.

I'm curious about George. Is George like a licensed dentist? No, he's not a dentist at all. So George, he me George. I'm curious about George. Is George like a licensed dentist? No, he's not a dentist at all. So George, he came up. That feels like a Shark Tank idea gone wrong. Bro, it was awesome. And then I asked the tooth hygienist. I said, I don't know if that's what they're called.

I said, do people get George a lot? And she goes, oh, he does really well. Really? For a dollar an hour? Dude, George has to up that rate. If someone's going to get the foot massage, make it a dollar an hour dude george has to up that rate if someone's gonna get the foot massage make it two dollars an hour so bad he could up that a hundred percent that might have still not blink that might have priced me out you think i would say it was the price that made me finally oh so he's not even that good with his hands he's pretty

darn good i was i thought i thought b plus so let me get this straight so you are getting your teeth cleaned or they're doing the typical dentist run. And he insists on taking your shoes and socks off for you. Yeah, dude. He's a pervert. No. Was it Jerry? No, he stayed in the right spots.

He wasn't doing anything weird, man. I know. I don't think he was, but I'm just trying to get. He had some lotions. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm just trying to get the right idea. He had some potions and lotions. So George was not your dentist?

No. Of course not. Okay, so your dentist no okay so there's of course not your dentist is working and then george is at the other end of the table and he's he's down at the feet and she's up at my face dude this might be the first time that's ever happened no that's not true i think this was george's like big break no way jose it sounds like they had him in like the box and fucking pulp fiction where they bring out the gimp and they they're like, bring out George. And George crawls out from a fucking tiny ass box. George was so sure handed that if my dentist had passed out, I would have let him take over the mouth. That's how good he was.

Massage those gums. Yeah. He knew what he was doing. That's crazy. He knew his way around some metatarsals. That's honestly not a bad idea, though. They should make that. Oh, look who's come around. Look who's. Oh, that's crazy. You were getting around some metatarsals that's honestly not a bad idea though they should start they should make that come around look who's oh that's crazy you were getting molested oh you were you were definitely getting molested i honestly think take it to the next

level be like here's an idea for two dollars george will jerk you off i actually think the penis is too close to the mouth and it would interfere with the cleaning it would probably you'd be bopping your head around too. That's it. Yeah. And already I thought, man, George is really getting into my sort of my fasciitis. Was he going, did he ever go past the foot? Maybe get to the thighs, the legs. No, no, no, no. He rolled my pants and he tried to roll them up over my calf, but my calves are so thunderous and I was wearing some skinnier pants today,

which you can see. Yeah. He couldn't even get. He couldn't. Do you want to try? Try to get my pants over my calves. You can't do it. Yeah, you really can't.

So he must have been pissed about that. You're lucky you didn't bring the scissors out. I was almost. I thought he was going to ask for a tool from the dentist. How funny would that be? Have you just sawed your pants off? Get these things the jaws of life. Like when a fucking soldier gets shot, they got to put the fucking tourniquet on yeah but he no he rolled

it up to about here and then he kind of went from cat like lower calf down through the foot and there was a time when he was probably itching to get his paws on those thighs i thought so i thought so maybe no he was a pro he's charging $1 an hour, you could easily be like, George, after this is done, 50 bucks, I'm going to fuck you in the ass. And he'd be like, dude, that's 50 hours of work for him. Not the George I know. Dude, that's 50 hours of work. That is not the translation of that rate.

I would 100% do that if I was him. Your math is way off. 100? That's like a fucking week of work for George. 100? No, that's just five massages. do that if I was him. Your math is way off. A hundred? That's like a fucking week of work for George. A hundred? No, that's just five massages. You said it was $1 an hour. Yeah, and I did a 20 minute massage.

I did a 15 and I tipped him five. Because he did say initially. But if it's $1 an hour, a 15 minute massage would be like 15 or would be like less than 15 cents. Oh, it was sorry not one dollar an hour a dollar a minute oh okay so this is where we're this is where you now this makes more sense dollar a minute i thought you this guy was working like slave wage a dollar an hour

that's why i was saying that you should have cleared that up a while ago that's why i said if you are if you said can you i'll fuck you in the ass for 50 dollars he would be like a hundred percent that's what you that's what those are rates you hear about when it's like you're talking about countries like burma and places you've never even heard of where they're dollar an hour this for this quarter, you could feed a family of seven. Okay, that makes me feel a lot better. A dollar a minute. A dollar a minute.

Okay, that's better. It's a pretty good rate. That's not a bad rate. No, it's not a bad rate. Okay, so see, now I understand why you said two would be kind of making you think twice about it. Yeah, forgive me. I got a little, I was so focused on. Dude, you said a dollar an hour like 20 times.

I think you're right, because I was so stuck on. Dude, you said a dollar an hour like 20 times. I think you're right because I was so stuck on it. And I kept on being like a dollar an hour. Okay, that makes more sense. A dollar a minute is a lot more standard price. Yeah. I've never gotten a massage. Not one time in your life? Never in my life.

I didn't growing up ever. I've used a heating pad a couple times. Those are nice. Those are very fun. Those are nice. I've used a heating pad a couple times. Those are nice. Those are very fun.

Those are nice. I got, we, growing up, I was told it was the most sort of lavish expense. Our family shunned them. Well, some people ball out on them. No, I know. But like, even crappy ones, it was like, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. What a waste of time. I just take a fucking shower.

Loosen up that way. Well, then you get to a point in your life where you're like, well, wait a second. I spent $98 on fucking dumb shots last night. Yeah. Like redheaded slut stepchild shots at some shitty tavern in Rochester. What is a redhead slutty shot? It's some kind of a shot. Redheaded stepchild or something.

This is a real thing? Those are shots. Oh, i've never heard of that what you know it's some goofy bullshit it's yeah yeah tons of sugar and it doesn't taste like anything so you get a bunch of those and then you're like well for that same price i could have i could have been lying down for an hour with a professional masseuse yeah kneading out kinks in my neck that would have been money better spent probably yeah maybe when i get to like the maybe when i get to my 30s i'll start getting fucking strung out or not strung out what do you think's gonna happen between now and your 30th birthday i'm sure my my muscles will tighten up i won't be as young

and that's not really what I mean. I mean more broadly. Oh, jeez. I have no idea. Sometimes I worry you're growing up way too quickly. I don't think so. You're one of the most mature people I've ever met, and that worries me. I want you to be young.

Brother, I am young. But you don't act it. Dude. That's why you're able to hang out with all these older people and not have it be weird. I don't know. I don't know what you want me to do. Well, I want you to hold on to your youth a little bit. I think I am.

Just play video games for an hour. Probably going to play for another four hours before my show. Let's go out and do some stupid shit. Let's go vandalize some shit. Let's go dump some trash cans over. Break some bottles. make some wolf sounds i know just a night of us terrorizing the town it's a bummer that you can't do the show i was looking forward to hanging it's gonna be a good hang tonight legendary hang let me see if i

can no don't you do not have to do that i'm fucking with you i just meant it would my heart it would have been fun like It's 4 p.m. We could head straight to Societies right after this. Fuck me. Play some pool. Have a couple fucking lights. Bud lattes. You're singing the right songs.

Brother, I got three bud lattes in the fridge right now waiting for us. Should we crack one? We could. Do you want to? Do you think that's going to make people judge us considering it's a... No, we used to drink on the yak all the time trans potion no oh yeah 100 we might lose some viewers but you know what we'll probably gain some viewers too the trans community all right we've already won over the deaf let me

go get us some bud lattes no you you you stay and talk oh okay i'll hold it my fridge smells bad this is something i've struggled with uh and I'm going to do a bit right now. Go for it. So, you know, the whole gender movement that's happening right now, right? You guys, you know, on one hand, some people say it's binary, men and women. And then other people say it's a more fluid concept. You've got a spectrum. people say it's it's a more fluid concept you've got a spectrum and the war is being waged on two sides one by by bud light on the far left the woke bullshit left bud light they're they're pushing

forward the the trans ideology and then on the other side, you have a hero in the author of Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling. And if you had told me 10 years ago that the war on gender would be waged between Bud Light and the author of Harry Potter, I would have said, there's no chance that's true. But it's not really the same podcast without a little sasquatch is it now i feel like i'm kind of going crazy but that's okay i wish you guys could see what i'm looking at his apartment it's rather bare i meant when i said when i said this is where you would hide somebody this feels like a safe house and then the guy who is being hidden here feels like he's been forgotten and starts going crazy, and they say, just wait a couple weeks more until the coast is clear. We're working on your papers.

Of course, that plan fails. He's discovered, and then you've got the plot of The Pianist. I'm not sure if you guys have seen that with Adrian Brody. What a movie. That's quite a film. That scene where he plays, I think it's Chopin's G minor, the ballad in G minor for the Nazi who discovers him. It's one of the most powerful scenes. Not in the least because that is one of the hardest pieces to play

on the piano i always wondered about the historical accuracy it's not by the way it's not the g minor ballad it's rachmaninoff that's who he plays still incredibly hard i'm just trying to fill time and uh i don't know if it I hear you talking in the bathroom. I actually don't even know if I said any of that out loud. I was listening in the bathroom. I'm going to be honest with you. It is so funny

that we're doing this in my apartment. When I just walked to the bathroom, that was like the first time I realized that it's like we're live and I'm like, oh shit, I got to go take a piss and then everyone just like hears my toilet flushing

but I actually didn't flush it on purpose because I didn't want them to hear it. How come these aren't that cold is it not that cold are they have they been in your fridge for a while no oh okay that's a relief i just thought your fridge my this one's cold this one's ice cold oh what a good host you are i know give me the fucking that one should be pretty cold though right okay it's probably like 49 degrees. Oh. And I want it to be 43. That's terrible.

49 degrees. You keep your fridge at what? 39 or 43? What do you keep it at? Dude, mine does not have settings. But most default refrigerators are kept at what? Probably like 39. Maybe we could get a quick chat weigh in on this.

What is the typical temperature that a refrigerator is kept at? You probably won't hear back from them. Is it 39 or 43? Please weigh in. Were you talking about the pianist? 37?

37. That seems low. That makes sense. I wouldn't have thought it was 37. 36? See, now they're just going to fuck with you. They're going seems low. That makes sense. I wouldn't have thought it was 37. Oh, 36? All right. See, now they're just going to fuck with you. They're going way low. Yeah. But 36 sounds standard.

Yeah. Sounds ideal. It's definitely not 32. That's the freezing point of water. 32 is freezing, but my freezer doesn't work, so I can't freeze shit, which is annoying. Hey, cheers, old boy. This is fun. Yeah.

Oh, you're firing up another pod? Yeah. Oh, you're back on Juul. Yeah, so. I'm so happy to see that well i only am because uh i don't know that other like i gotta quit and i that other shit is not it's not like this is it's not good either but that stuff has got to be worse this is the way i think jewel is the way i watched the documentary no i was talking about the documentary last night with derrick dredge watch it no he was just talking about how good it was. It's so good. And I was saying Francis loves

it. I thought it was amazing. And it also made me think that Jewel's really not that bad for you. Now, that may just be selective presenting of the facts from a pro-Jewel documentary filmmaker. What did they say about Jewel that made you think it's not that bad

for you? Well, they dispelled the whole theory that it was what was sending all those kids to the hospital oh yeah 100 haven't we talked about this you and i we did we've talked about it on here but i believe that that was a bad stream we were talking about it oh i see but we can so we can run this back yeah they dispelled all that all those kids that went to the hospital were kids that were buying black market bullshit black market bunk knockoff pods and stuff from you know corner stores yeah wasn't actually from jewel and that apparently if you if you looked at the the kids who were admitted to those hospitals with lung failure not one of them

had actually bought in real jewel pods it had not happened as a result of real jewel pod well i think the concern is about long-term effects true and i think nobody would say that smoking jewels as often as everyone started to do is good for you but i think with you what we're talking about is is it better than smoking those ridiculous it is it has to be rubber ducky yeah flavored like fucking cotton candy flume bars ridiculous turquoise blue bring this in the bathtub with you because then you see those videos in like asia of the dudes fucking making them for like 10 cents a piece and they're exactly and they're testing them out rapid fire have you ever seen that yeah actually i think yeah my buddy ge George was one of the guys making those.

Dude, I was reading the chat when I was in the bathroom and someone asked if George uses spit or lotion. Oh, man. Using the drool from my own mouth to lube up my feet. Ew, that's so gross. The webbing between my toes. Ew. He did get into the webbing. Are you a webbing guy? Can you handle the webbing between my toes he did get into the webbing are you a webbing guy can you handle the webbing what do you mean can you handle when someone touches the webbing in your hands or your toes some people can't hands yeah toes i don't think that's ever i don't think

anyone's ever no one's ever gotten i don't think anyone has touched my feet like outside of my parents why don't you take that sock off let's see what kind of webbing you're working on now my question is this when you swim is your does your webbing get help you with your kick no they say that michael phelps had pretty big webbed toes he had webbing yeah it's like swimming with flippers in fact you couldn't discern one toe from the next it was just flat all the way across the top like a paddle dude that should be like you could be able to do that you should be able to get like webbing extensions like a breast like a breast job i was gonna say breast implants have you had a breast job recently you should be able able... But if you're a swimmer, you should be able to get fucking webbing extensions

and just turn into flippers. I'm sure that that is something that has been forbidden by the Olympics committee or whatever. But I don't know for sure. It seems like they're pretty loose on rules over there. How many waxes of that are you going to take today? I don't know. Why?

Well, you've already taken a few wax. And I think you've got to try to taper back i am okay that's why i bought that all right dick what flavor menthol yeah nice extra vitamin e can you still buy the mango ones that everyone went all that shit's gone come on someone out there had to have seen that the f was going to ban it and said, I'm going to buy 400,000 mango pods. A kid in my high school, when they were banning all the flavored ones, he bought $1,000 worth of mango pods and then sold them for $100 a pack. He should have held them even longer.

Yeah, but they probably go bad. Do they now? Yeah, definitely. I wonder. That's like our quaaludes yeah see quaaludes were gone before i was around me too yeah i guess that's true i forgot that you're not that much older than me i am but i mean yeah but you're not like 80 years old generational jump even for me yeah that's a generational jump lewds did you be honest i i wonder if this is just my generation did you have any idea what lewds were before

wolf wall street never heard of it until wolf wall street correct yeah i had never heard of yeah i had no idea and then i noticed it more like i noticed like there's a couple always sunny episodes where they talk about quay lewudes frank talks about them interesting yeah interesting i think it's when he goes and he goes to the frat party and frank's like where are the lewds at and all the kids are like what the fuck are you talking about that show is so goddamn good so good so good i bet it would be so cool to be a writer on a show like that yeah um you know who wrote a lot for that show the succession dudes right uh isn't it isn't it like the one of the families that succession's based off of i think two of the kids are writers on always sunny um i wonder if you're not i wonder

if you're not confusing that with exactly the people i'm about to tell you which is peter churnin's two yeah the churn Chernins. They were producers and writers on that show. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. But Succession isn't based on them. I think Succession is based on a couple different families. Succession is based on the Murdoch family. No, it's based on multiple. You can look it up.

It's based on multiple families. No, it's just the Murdochs. It is. No, I don't think it is. Yeah, it is. Rupert Murdoch is the Logan. And then his kids, that whole empire. That was the whole story. No, I don't think it is. Yeah, it is. Rupert Murdoch is the, you know, Logan. And then his kids, that whole empire.

That was the whole story. That's interesting. Oh, we got to do an ad. Oh, let's do it. Hell yeah. Let's fire it off. All right, let's talk about Factor. Factor.

These are so delicious. So I actually, I don't even know if you, well, you didn't go in my fridge. I got like 10 factors in there right now. Oh, yeah. Three factors in the last 24 hours love a big fucking factor guy and i don't know if you've seen everyone else in my building is too are they now oh dude there's factor boxes all all over the place wow i get like uh i think i get eight meals a week oh that's one of my neighbors gets like the fucking big ass box which is like 20 meals a week that's good hungry i like your neighbor it's good dude most of the meals are like 500 calories which is good it keeps you nice and restricted and they're good

meals it's like they taste good i'm a terrible cook and if i want to eat healthy i pretty much can only just eat chicken and rice and broccoli every single meal which gets boring so i can now eat healthy and i get like a nice variety i get some fucking some pork and pasta with some tomato sauce and some broccoli. I'm eating more veggies this year, like in the last month from Factor, than I have eaten in the last four years. I'm so happy to hear that about you. Yeah, because every meal I'm eating green beans and fucking asparagus

and cucumbers and broccoli and carrots and peppers. So I'm genuinely a big factor guy. I use it constantly. Everyone in my neighborhood uses it. You can head to factors.com slash sun50 and use code sun50 to get 50% off of your order. That's not the right URL. It's factormeals.com slash sun50.

Isn't that what I said? No, you said factors.com. You missed it by a lot. I'm a little blind. It's factorme factors.com you missed it by a lot i'm a little blind uh it's factor meals.com slash sun 50 and use code sun 50 to get 50 off that's a really good deal guys we love these meals we eat them all the time i'm actually going to use that deal because i'm paying full price it's worth it yeah if i could get 50 off it's also dude it's cheap like it's like it's

not that expensive every week and it compared to how much you would spend on groceries like in new york you're saving a ton of money totally because i don't have to go out and buy a bunch of fucking like spices and shit right every time i cook something at home i gotta go out and i gotta buy spices oh because you actually follow the recipes yeah and i don't have what i need right unless i make something just like steak and potatoes and brussels yeah but i like to mix it up some mix it up and you can do that with factor that's the variety we want in life go to factor meals.com they got keto options they got low carb yeah they got everything it's great don't forget that code sun 50 factor meals.com sun 50 and use code sun50 to get 50% off of your order. Now back to the show.

Oh boy, am I glad that's over. Isn't that so cool? Dude, this is so cool. This is really going well. I'm having a great time. I am. I am. I'm enjoying doing this.

Like I'm enjoying, like I was telling Roan yesterday, I feel like I've gotten like a second wind with the podcast. Nice. Like I'm having a good time like setting it up up and making sure the lighting looks good and the audio, which I hope the lighting looks good today. I put up a curtain or a sheet. Dude, we could get serious about this. I know.

If you want it. We could actually get some good lighting. Well, I think this lighting is pretty good. But we could get better lighting. We could really make it amazing. And we could get some depth so that we didn't just have this white wall behind us yeah well i need to i have shit that i could put up i got a bunch of posters kind of looks like we're gonna make a jihad video yeah or we're on like

the fucking what is that couch the casting couch i once watched one of those videos i never seen one i just know the couch and the guy i the guy, I think he got in trouble. Didn't he, that guy? Didn't he find out that he was not a good guy? I would assume most people, most dudes in porn, probably not the best guys. Probably not the best guys. But I've heard that there's only like a couple dudes in porn,

and they're just fucking everybody. That's probably true. But I heard that guy in particular. What I was was gonna say is one time i was watching a video and he told the girl that he was going to uh i think have uh anal sex with her and she said oh that's gonna hurt and he goes don't worry i don't have a very big cock yeah which is a lie no he was he's he didn't and that was the first time i had heard such honesty in a pornographic scene oh they said this in the porno he said it in this in this oh i thought you were reading like an interview no no no i don't read porn interviews what are you out of your fucking mind i don't know i don't know if there's something that

george really dark dude george is probably in the porn industry do you think do you think to get into becoming like a professional foot masseuse you have to like you have to have a man so i think we would say masseur masseur do you have a foot fetish or is that just like last hope look some people do backs some people do feet so i would rather do the all around it's like being a doctor why do you specialize well my dad did feet i do feet pediatricians i do kids i don't know if there are a whole lot of kid masseuses and masseurs yeah there probably aren't hi my 12 year old is here for the 3 p.m. Kid massage?

We do... Is your child tight? Is your child experiencing a lot of stress? Meet George. Well, meet our trained staff of professionals. We run thorough background checks on each and every one of them.

And we do them every 30 days to stay ADA compliant. What you should have done is you should have brought George here. Get him on the pod. I'd love to crack that. When I had finished, because I only did his, I said, I want 15 minutes. He said, do you want 15 minutes he said do you want 20 minutes or 30 minutes and i said i that's too much i'm too scared i don't know how this is gonna go so i said 15 and so he wrapped up and i immediately regretted not doing the full 30

except if i had done the full 30 that would have meant that george would have overlapped with the doctor that they bring in at the end of the dentist. The doctor? Who comes in and he's like, Hi there. Hello. Hi. Hello, Francis. How's your family? Francis. Good to see you again. I've talked to the nurse. She said you're looking great.

And then he goes into your mouth and he starts poking around and you're like, dude, this is way less advanced than what was just done to me. And then he's like, can I actually see the x-ray for E17? Yeah. Because you know how all the teeth are numbered? Yeah. And then he'll ask you something that has nothing to do with your mouth.

Because he thinks he's a doctor. Oh, yeah. Maybe they are. I don't really understand that distinction. They probably are. I think they're getting off two exits shy of a full doctor ship. I feel like cleaning teeth and shit can't be that hard to learn. It can't be anything harder than just fucking... Yeah, but they're not cleaning. The doctors, those

dentist doctors... So what does the doctor do? It's a different track. I haven't been to the dentist in years. I think he'll do complicated stuff like root canals and crowns. I've heard that those are a nightmare. A dental hygienist can't do. Have you ever gotten a crown? No. My teeth have been in pretty good shape my whole life.

Yeah. Mine were in good shape for a while and now they're not. When I got out of my session though and I scheduled my next session, I walked out into the waiting room

and George was sitting in the waiting room reading a magazine. Dude, I don't think George works there. And I think that they were just like,

yeah, bringing George, like George asked, oh, we just lost the camera. Hang on a second. Are we still here? We still got the audio?

The audio should still be going. Yeah, hold on one second. Hey, give us a sign, commenters, if the audio is still running. Just make sure that we are still connected to you guys. Bringing back the camera now in five, four, three, two, one. No. Yep. Got the camera

back. Oh, we're okay. Everyone. We're all right. Happy days. Don't you worry. Oh boy. Yeah. Um, this is probably the longest live stream we've ever done so there's a chance the camera might be overheating I gotta get another extension so that the battery plugs right into the wall which is a fucking pain in the ass oh the the box of glad bags isn't providing proper ventilation for the camera no I don't think that's the problem I think the problem is that the battery gets overwhelmed when it's plugged when the yeah I don't know it's a whole thing you wouldn't know it hey i'm having fun this was pretty fun i'm having fun too we can end this whenever let's wrap it all right well i had a good time me too pal that was great yeah it was fun thanks for having me got a little buzz from

the beer yeah because i buzz it up enough buzz light year. Well, thank you guys for watching. Please make sure to like and subscribe, comment, share. I'm going to be in St. Louis next weekend. So buy tickets to that at littlesasquatchwebsite.com. Lovely. I'll be in Arlington, D.C. at the Arlington Draft House next weekend myself. That'll be very fun. I'm excited for that.

Go to Francis Ellis dot com for comedy for Francis Ellis dot com for tickets. Also I'll be in Toronto in Providence to close out the year. Fuck yeah. Those are good.

That's a good fucking lineup. I got a good run of shows coming up. No St. Louis. All right. Thank you guys We'll see you guys Be well

Have a good rest of your week Have a good weekend Go Patriots We'll see you guys next Monday Goodbye Thank you How'd we do? Good How do we do? Good. Good.

Yeah, that one was... It starts out, it started out super slow, and then, like, at a certain point, we randomly jumped to, like, 900. We were at, like, 200 for the first, like, 30 minutes. Oh. And then it just randomly jumped to 900, so I wonder if we're overlapping with the app. That's almost certainly what it was. Show me, you're talking about down here? Like. Make sure you save your fucking...