Son of a Boy Dad - Apartment Session | Son of a Boy Dad #145

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Apartment Session | Son of a Boy Dad #145 - Lil Sas & Rone's weekend recap is sponsored by PIE WINE, Pizzas new side piece. Visit https://PIEWine.com today!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Let's talk about pie wine for a second. Pie wine. Yo, pie wine is actually incredible. Yeah. Pie wine is the perfect wine to go with pizza, and it is just delicious.

It's slightly sweet, slightly slightly sparkling and the first official drink of pizza yeah you heard that right pizza pie wine unlike canned seltzers each can of pie wine equals two glasses of wine with the alcohol percentage of 10.5 to 13.5 percent point five percent so pizza becomes pizza party very quickly they have a white wine very quick it's that's so good like it's it's nice to go without pizza you can do it whenever but when it's with pizza it truly unlocks all these flavors white's my favorite or they have two types of white and then the red is also just robust i love me the red drinkable love the red really nice this is interesting it says uh it was just features on shark tank where mark cuban mr wonderful aka friend of the pod loved the product the sharks know what is up and now you do too pie wine is pizza's new side piece. Ooh, get a slice of that.

Get a slice of that. Have a freaking slice of that. Get a big old slice of that. Turn that pizza into a pizza party real quick. Started by two best friends and stoolies, pie wine elevates your slice and turns pizza into the greatest night of the week. Dude, I just had some pie wine at a shoot that we did at Francis's, and it was insane. It was good? Yeah.

You're a big wine guy, too. I'm a big pizza guy, too. I tried to go to Lucali this weekend. Yeah? And they were closed, so I had to go to Giuseppina's, which is the guy who's the brother of the guy at Lucali. And he has those same exact recipes, same calzone, same pizza. Hey, let me get a calzone. Same dessert pie.

It was fucking incredible. Dude, the calzones that they have at the really nice pizza places, underrated menu item. Sometimes better than the pizza. A lot of times better than the pizza. Pie wine. Pizza's new side piece. Visit pieandwine.com. Dude, pizza is fucking big in New York.

Last night, it was pouring out. Pouring out. fucking big in new york last night it was pouring out pouring out and i'm like ubering to go to a spot and there's just a line of people outside of joe's pizza just waiting in the rain and i'm like guys it's not that good is joe's the place they went on friends oh it might have been well bro don't tell me i can't be slipping up i can't be slipping up live like this yeah that's fucking bro just got caught lacking badly i know first he didn't know schwimmer was jewish now he forgot about an idea joe's and matthew perry you're gonna forget that fucking lisa kudrow played phoebes next is she alive set us off all righty welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is, someday, it looks like it's Monday, October 30th, Halloween Eve. Such a spooky, spooky day. Yeah, two days before All Souls Day.

Oh, what is that? Just a big Catholic feast. Oh, very nice. That sounds like a good time. Yeah, what are you doing for All Souls Day? I don't have much planned for All Souls Day. did you get any trick-or-treaters at your apartment in this neighborhood no i never even thought about that but i there's a chance i could yeah there's a lot of kids yeah i'm always looking at them from this big ass window of mine oh look there's someone dressed up is tonight the night sometimes they do it on a different night in

our building they did it like a night early last night yeah well they like to do it a lot of the parents i think like the they like to go up before us that on actual halloween they can get fucked up i thought it was because of the naughty mischief that goes around the rampant murder that always happens on halloween it is a night of murder and a night of chaos i will say there's an episode of louis where he gets like pulled up on have you ever seen that when he's trick or treating with his, his daughters and they get pulled up on and by like a bunch of like goons and goblins and he like gets like horrified because like they're not letting them go and they're like,

he thinks like it's, it's scary. It is. Either you watch a horror movie or you wind up in a horror movie. Exactly. In the city you have really, you don't really know what's going to go down. That's why it's almost better to be proactive about it and turn it into a horror

movie for someone else oh 100 torture the fuck out of a stranger yeah i just watched that uh have you ever seen trick or treat uh-uh you haven't what's it rated i don't know probably are but it's it's like a parody i think on halloween movies but it's it's it's pretty funny i i i was i went into it like thinking it was going to be scary and then i was like oh this is just a complete like joke of a movie and it's like it's it's pretty funny i used to only watch parody movies because it was guaranteed that there'd be boobs in them oh yeah there's titties in this one there always is titties in parody movies yeah because there's these like hot ass girls and they all turn out to be uh werewolves and they start ripping their skin off and they rip their titties off.

It's hilarious. Their titties clean. Yeah. I was hooting and hollering. Yeah. Yeah. Like Euro Trip was a parody. Oh, yeah.

Road Trip, Not Another Team Movie, all the screen movies. Screen movies. Like Airplane. All those movies had titties in them. Yeah. What was the scary movie? Scary movie. Scary movie always had titties in them i

actually just saw that one scene on twitter today there's titties in it there's the one where like the girl's getting chased and the and the scream dude like rips her clothes off yeah like runs through the sprinklers i don't know why they always sprinkle that into a parody but a parody and a pair of d's my brother you fucking gotta enjoy that shit true that nothing better than a pair of freaking d's a pair of huge ass fucking perfect cloudy d's perfect titties sunny d's uh my building did uh trick-or-treating last night yeah what'd you give out so we ran out of like the chocolates that we had and my wife started giving out Tootsie Roll Pops. I wasn't there, but I was on the phone with her.

I was like, shut down shop. No one wants to get fucking Tootsie Roll Pops. That's a disrespectful ass shitty fucking. Really? You would be happy with a Tootsie Roll Pop? I would be happy with a Tootsie Roll Pop. I guess. I'm also, I don't eat hard candy the way that you're supposed to eat it.

You just crunch into it? I crunch it down at once. And Tootsie Roll Pops are one of the most satisfying ones to crunch down on. Tootsie Roll Pops are a long-ass fucking trip to a destination that has nothing going on for it. The Tootsie Roll at the center of that is not a good snack. That's a shitty snack. Yeah, well, because no one wants gum in the middle of their lollipop. And it's not like good gum.

No, you're thinking of a blow pop. I'm talking of a Tootsie Roll pop. Blow pops are better than Tootsie Roll pops. Are you sure Tootsie Roll pops don't? Oh, no, Tootsie Roll pops are better. No, they just have Tootsie Roll in the middle. That shit sucks. That's what it is?

Yeah, there's just a Tootsie Roll. I used to always swallow it, and I thought it was gum. Oh, really? Yeah. Blow pops I thought were fun and imaginative. No one wants to fucking have to chew piece of gum after they just work through a lollipop i think it's a treat to get to the gum i think you get to the gum and you're like oh this is a little fucking snack i can enjoy myself for

like a half hour now on this gum that will immediately lose flavor true or like chew on the fucking stick like it's a cigarette pretend to blow a little oh that is cold outside that's the dream so eddie what do you think what are you gonna give that one all right sass who won this draft team one two three four five and give a better reason oh man oh man it's so easy to fall into the trap of just fucking... Ranking? Just ranking foods. It's easy as hell. Ranking foods, ranking... I mean, just...

Or drafts, ranks, who could win this thing or that thing in a fight. In some ways, that's what Joe Rogan's empire was built on. That is true. A lot of debates. So, who would win in a fight, Sass? The thousand cockroaches you have or the 500 mice you have? Have you seen the traps this house is the trap i want to double check and make sure it's good like there's it the

ranks oh it's clean as hell yeah i just had to double check because now we're talking a normal volume sometimes it's easy to do the check and we're like one two three four sexy voice the full conversation and it's like yeah make sure you're on camera though don't scooch too far away but yeah if people couldn't tell we're recording this from your apartment yes barstool has failed us no they haven't there's just a lot of technical difficulties and we're in the we're in the works of getting a new studio but until then i'm gonna'm going to... Well, I'm not taking over, but I'm just going to do... I just decided to do this one because I wanted to have good audio. Because people are getting mad.

And we're like, get mad at us. At least let it be on us. Yeah, exactly. It got to a point where it's like everybody else is in control of it. And it's like, okay, if we fail on this one, that's 100% on us. And if we succeed, we expect to's a hundred percent on us and if we succeed we expect to be paraded through the streets on people's shoulders like fucking rudy hundred percent if we succeed we want to be like jesus walking into to fucking palm sunday with

people fucking falling at our feet dude if people saw the setup that we've got going right now i mean this is the camera right now is balancing on a box of trash bags a box of trash bags on on top of what's that other thing uh i think it's short yeah it's sheets um and also the every minute that we're live another day of my laptop's lifespan goes down because this thing is working it's loud right now dude it's buzzing like an industrial air conditioner these things i bet oh yeah 200 degrees that's gonna burn through the couch yeah i swear to god feel it it smells like steak in here because it's sitting on the leather right now it feels like you're cooking a medium rare porterhouse right now but it's good that's what you have to do to get this shit going yourself it is when you first got sound going i felt like well the it was defeating

because i did it so i did a test on Friday with the sound and it was like crystal clear hopefully like what this is going to sound like and uh this is live right now we're just doing a ghost live stream to make sure it sounds good when it I felt like a deaf child hearing his mother's voice for the first time blacked out oh out of celebration out of celebration I went to the stand and I was just like telling everyone and they were like dude we do not care I went up to the bouncer at the stand and I was just like telling everyone and they were like, dude, we do not care. I went up to the bouncer at the stand and I was like, dude, select the audio. I finally got it to work. It's been like such a work in progress. All I had to do was just go to Best Buy and grab a couple things. Like leaning up on the side of the bar. Yeah. I'm like, dude, no one cares.

Did you at least find the sound guy to talk to him about it? No, Joe. Sound guy's never had, no, not even Joe, but I'm talking about the actual sound guy for the venue. Oh no, there really isn't one. Oh, there i mean there's everything's probably already set up but joe if it was one it would be joe i think joe does the stand the sound there but i told him at uh i went to a halloween party on saturday and he was there and i was just three in the morning i'm just like and yeah i mean all i really needed to get was the cam link and the zoom recorder and it was pretty it was just as soon as that it was good yeah it's good to weaponize a little bit of your autism and oh yeah get you purring in the right direction dude when you fix something like that it feels like you just completed like a lego set yeah it's a manly sense of accomplishment that shit is embedded in our dna

for sure it's a great feeling it's like you would it's the same type of feeling that they must have got when they're like slapping adobe on a hut or like catching a fish or killing a fucking bison or some shit you basically killed a bison by doing this you basically are feeding us for for weeks and the other tribe couldn't kill the bison you know what i mean 100 you're like wearing the bison jacket like beating your chest in the fucking wilderness it feels damn good it feels good as hell so yeah we apologize for the fucking uh blank ass background some people are definitely gonna prefer this i bet it's it's nasty it's grimy like we're really it really looks like we're in the trap and i cannot stress the amount of insect repellent roach killer oh yeah like there's

shelves of it like a bj it's like a sam's club there's industrial stocked up there's more like per capita liquid ounces of that than anything else in here even the michael waltz's and the bud lights over there yeah i had a night on saturday or friday that's those are from friday yeah well after i got after i did my spots i was done by 9 30 so i went home and i played video games with my buddy matt until like four in the morning and we just got hammered that's so and then i woke up like really hung over which sucked because i was like dude that was the night that i was like i'm gonna go home and not stay out and then i still got hammered and ended up feeling worse than i usually do

when i go out but that is an awesome friday night it was it was very fun we cut dub on apex did you first game on you basically you are the fucking primal oh yeah big time killing the buffalo getting your win like fucking dancing by the fire at night you also you have a bundle of firewood up there yeah i don't know what that is that was there when i got here i think it's like for show i think it's like you put it in i don't know the dude who lived here before had a much different setup than i've got surprisingly it's the unmistakable smell of like the inside of a hoodie when you walk in here but i went nose blind to it already yeah it's not uh it's not great it's pretty messy i actually it was way worse before i just took all

the clothes and just threw them on my bed so there's just a mountain of clothes on my bed except for that way to do it there's just piles everywhere all i've got is just piles you got to be the stevie wonder of nose blindness yeah 100 no are your other senses getting stronger because you're so nose blind no there's a smell that comes from the fridge and it's been there since i got here and when the exterminator came he said that it was there was a dead mouse behind the fridge and he pulled the fridge out couldn't find anything so then i put uh baking soda in there on a plate because that's supposed to absorb the smell it attracts the dead mice didn't do shit and then i pulled the refrigerator out and i gassed it with fucking anti rat spray and that

again didn't do anything anti rat spray yeah it's a big thing and i know we talked about this last time but i forget is that a real fireplace like could something come down is there a chimney does it is there a flu there's definitely something in there because there's like a t-shirt like stuffed up there to probably i'm assume stop mice from coming but yeah there really is there's like there's five mouse traps right here there's one there there's two there and then there's five mouse traps right here. There's one there. There's two there. And then there's one here too, just in there. And then there's two in there,

one back there. Eat what you catch, bro. Yeah. So I haven't caught a single mouse though. They're just, they're wise to your games. Yeah. I think the dude,

he sealed up all these holes and I think they're just gone. I haven't had any problems. There's enough. There's just enough for them to eat around. They don't have to go digging. There's enough Pringles everywhere. I would just treat myself to some Pringles.

There's usually not... I try and keep... It's messy, but there's never actual food. I'll make food or I'll order food and I take it and I throw it out in the hallway. I don't leave it in my apartment because i don't you don't fuck with that shit no i can't do it i can't have the fucking mice it's like attracting bears because i also sleep on this couch a lot

do you yeah i slept here last night do you curl up or you go long ways i go long way as soon as i sat down i and like stood back up it was like a grilled cheese dude there was just cum fucking stuck to me. I know you're beating off recklessly on this. I can't beat off on here, dude. When the lights are on, we're in like a fish tank right now. If you walk by my apartment when you leave and the light is on, you can see me fully just in here. Because there's no curtain and it's a big ass window and the lights are on and it's dark out.

There's a curtain rod. There's a curtain rod, but the person who left must have taken the curtain. But I like to sleep in here sometimes so i like to watch tv i started uh what's it called um band of brothers band of brothers last night and i dude i swear to god if the audio fails again i'm enlisting i'll join up you think i'm too old yeah dude you're f you're f4 no i'm not f4 i don't even i don't even know what that means what does it mean i have no idea either there was a in the beginning of band of brothers, they were talking about how there was four dudes in their town that,

uh, were F it was like F a or F four or some shit like that, which I think it means you're not allowed to join up or you're not allowed to enlist. And they all killed themselves. No. Yeah. Cause they,

everyone wanted to go to world war two. So bad. World war two. Dude, it's crazy that like you think of like, like that Chris Kyle dude, they're like, dude,

he had like a hundred confirmed kills. Those those guys were getting 100 confirmed kills every single day there was i saw did you see that finnish sniper that was just making his rounds on social media he was making he was just like mowing people down i'm not surprised he didn't use a site like he was just he was afraid they were all iron sights yeah he was just like fucking looking off into the distance and he lived until 2002 he got shot in his jaw it was just hanging off but he was afraid they were all iron sights yeah he was just like fucking looking off into the distance and he lived until 2002 he got shot in his jaw it was just hanging off but he was like the most deadly sniper of all time yeah it's crazy these guys are fucking beasts those dudes don't like in the obviously i know the show is probably a little exaggerated maybe not though i mean it sounds like i the things i don't know a lot about world war ii because all the war movies that i

watch are i like to watch the modern ones but band of brothers fucking sucked me in instantly did it but i saw the reason i never got into it was because mook's been telling me to watch it forever but the reason i never got into it originally is because they do these like interviews in the beginning and i was like oh shit it's a documentary and i turned it off and then i realized that those interviews are literally 30 seconds long and then it goes into the show they just start off every episode i'm not trying to fucking read so the first time i watched it i gave it 30 seconds and turned it off so i must have not been in the mood for a documentary that day yeah or to hear an old guy talking yeah but it's fucking it's a good ass show those old guys got stories to tell

too they do most of them just they cry which is understandable i mean it it was fucking crazy it's all about them storming the beaches of normandy hollywood must have been licking their chops too because they could just cast all white guys 100 they could just cast all famous white guys with impunity and a couple white dudes who like looked jewish but none of them were oh so is there is there like are there soldiers who are jewish or is it concentration camps i have never watched the show there's soldiers who are jewish but they're like are there soldiers who are jewish or is it concentration camps i have never watched the show there's soldiers who are jewish but they're like not oh really like you look jewish and they're like i fucking hate you and then that's it and then it's like they're not even jewish oh really yeah dude i hate all this jewish hate that's going on though bro stop jewish hate

man we gotta stop asian hate we gotta put an end to it no no asian hates back just jewish hate we have to stop jewish hate is the one that is back in full swing stronger than ever yeah it is fucking booming it is crazy how like uh when we record with column he is just like he'll be like you filthy jew oh yeah he'll like flame you but now it's like there's actual anti-semitism happening like strongly in the world they said it's a fuck yeah did you see that commercial yesterday uh-oh that was probably did you watch this the late game last night no she was so bad what it's just the commercial no no there was a commercial the commercial was fine it was just commercial fucking so no the commercial said that jewish hate is up like 386 percent which i don't

know who's keeping track of that yeah like who's like did someone say like hey go they go up to me and they're like i hate you and then you like got a call's number and be like and there's another one report it yeah if you experience jewish hate make sure to call the hotline like i'm picturing someone keeping score like an autist at a baseball game like clemmer yeah filling out their box score dude that video of frank yesterday was disturbing mind-blowing and the the edit that quigs made was like one of the funniest things i've ever seen you didn't see that one so what the video was was it was like a full screen vertical video of frank the tank and like eight mascots and it was like wide angle too there was like a hundred mascots they were filling every ounce of the screen like it looked like a uh like there was like a hundred mascots they were filling every ounce of

the screen like it looked like a uh like one of those claw pits and all the stuffed animals are there like it looked like a billion stuffed animals all jammed into the same frame and they're feeding him like yogurt yeah it was like ice cream like yogurt yeah they're feeding it to them and they're making out with him it was dude it was it someone said it looked like a one of those scenes from the grinch and it did it truly did it looked like one of the scenes from like when jim carrey was the grinch and and then one of them kisses him on the mouth yeah it's like uh horror porn for the mid 90s yeah it would it would be like a tim burton type of movie or some shit like that just frank and a bunch of mascots a dissociative movie yeah it was fucking hysterical a crazy time damn but i might get into i should get into band of brothers

bro i like it's good a little war action yeah and i texted mook today and i was like i finally started it and he was like dude i'm jealous that you get to watch it for the first time and then he was like also once you finish that the pacific is pretty much just the sequel to band of brothers so i'm in now like now i gotta fucking i gotta show again yeah it's such a good feeling to have Once you finish that, the Pacific is pretty much just the sequel to Band of Brothers. So I'm in now. Like now I got a fucking, I got a show again. Yeah. It's such a good feeling to have a show.

And to have a show like that without a fucking bitch in your ear being like, this is scary. To be fully honest, I actually don't think there's been a single girl in the entire show. Yeah. I swear to God. I never thought about that until now. I'm like three episodes in, which is like three hours. And I don't think there's been a single, because were women not allowed to serve in World War II? I don't think so.

Well, they could serve fucking apple pie. Truth. True that. Serve a milkshake, but they weren't served. Yeah, I don't think there's been a single woman in the whole show, but there's a lot of pussies.

It's all dudes in here, except for these bitches. One, one pot, two pot three pot that is one of my favorite lines when my dad was uh growing up his best friend was named michael saunders and i'm not sure what uh what year it was or what war that they were in that my dad was probably dad was in the war no no he wasn't but they so my my uh this dude michael saunders he tried to enlist in the army yeah and they told him he couldn't enlist because he was too short oh yeah it's not surprising how old was he or when was this because in world war ii i think if you had like no arms they'd be like yeah just get in there here's a gun so yeah yeah we need you on defense yeah we need you on defense to shield people yeah dude i mean they literally

like they're the whole the whole first episode is about them training this one group of people. They're called... Fuck, I forget what they're called. They're in this airborne squad, which is the people that jump out of the planes. Are you talking about pilots, parachuters, paratroopers? Paratroopers yeah but they're the like it's like they got the option like do you guys want to enlist in the the army the navy or airborne or the air force and everyone was like what the fuck is airborne and then like all of them ended up enlisting in airborne but uh the whole like first two episodes like them like training and they're like they had like the most brutal training

just like constantly running up this fucking mountain back and forth like every day and then like on d-day like all of them died there's like five of them left now they're in incredible shape yeah it's crazy dude they're all flying in and like out of nowhere all this and all the planes are just getting shot down and now it's like 140 to do that workout in los angeles the normandy workout run up and down a hill 150 times. Yeah. Jump into the water. Get shot in the chest. It's pretty crazy.

That dude from fucking Friends is in it. Not the one that just died. The other one. Ross. Schwimmer. Schwimmer. David Schwimmer. Yeah, Schwimmer.

So he's a real, he's Jewish. Yeah. In real life, right? Schwimmer. Schwimmer. I don't think he's Jewish in the show. Oh no, he is. He is.

He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is.

He is. He is. That's what the whole thing is about. Because they're all mad and they're like, i'm not fucking going out there with that jew or they call him a kraut is that a slur kraut is uh german though yeah but i yeah you can say it you're allowed to say it is kraut a slur yeah yeah but it's like wop or guinea oh okay it's like slurs for white people yeah yeah well it's ours. Yeah. It's kind of our little thing. True.

We can say it any, anytime we want. So krauts German. It's not Jewish. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Who gives a fuck then? You fucking dirty krauts.

Yeah. Fuck the krauts. Well, not now. Now the krauts are leaders in engineering. Are Germans like still up to trouble? Because I remember seeing like a tweet or some shit and they were like, there was a tweet a while ago and it was like jewish hate is at the jewish hates up 720 it was like jewish hate is the worst it's ever been in germany and everyone was everyone was like are you sure about that that just can't be true

what would be going on in germany right now that could be worse than it was in the 1940s? Everybody's just not acting on it. They're just like feeling the hatred and they're just boiling. Fist clenched, like fucking absolutely steamed about it. Yeah, can't be, can't be at all time highs. But I did see like disturbing videos of people like looking for Jewish people or whatever. I don't know. You see, go on social media.

There's a lot of like, whatever. I don't know. You see, go on social media. There's a lot of like, yeah, I don't know. You see, I wish everyone would just get along is how I feel. Dude, me, you and the fucking coach of Oregon.

You see his video? No. What did he say? It was about like the mass shooting. And he was like, can we just solve this? It was like, it was a good video.

But then of course in the comments, everyone's like this fucking asshole. Not though no you're into it i'm a big fan of him my wife's mom visited this weekend the in-laws you know how that shit is i know how that goes she's uh tapped in on fox news for sure oh yeah um or just the news um but she but she lives in, um, Pennsylvania, rural Pennsylvania. And so her perception of New York is like, she's like, we're like when she came up on Friday, she was like, were there protests on like Thursday? Like what was going on with like the protests? And I was like, yeah, I saw a couple, some pro-Israel, some pro-Palestine. She was like clearly concerned about it. They went to a Broadway play. They went to a broadway play and then like on the way back from the broadway

play all the traffic in the city shut down so they went and walked the brooklyn bridge yeah and at that exact time like a uh like a pro-palestine uh protest shut down the entire brooklyn bridge and there were 9 000 people on the brooklyn bridge and it was like every uh how did i not even hear about this i don't know the bridge was closed while she was on it the bridge was closed she was walking on like the footpath along the top and there was no traffic and coming the entire other way and so like in her uh in her like the the mind of like what could happen in new york was like exactly what was happening that sucks dude she was fucking bugging out that is dude to get it locked on the brook how long was she on the

bridge for i mean she was walking the other way so they couldn't drive across it in the traffic but you could still walk you could walk okay okay i thought she was like they were like everyone staying on the fucking bridge yeah that would be terrifying horrifying but it was even so it was scary because like everybody walked across and then like all the uh cops like came across yeah behind it and i was like watching from brooklyn as the entire bridge was shut down like they tried to drive up to it and they're like oh we'll just walk across it'll take like 40 minutes or something like that and then like her her worst fears like it was obviously a peaceful protest but she was like she was like afraid no that shit sucks dude

yeah that's just a massive i've been on that bridge when it she was like afraid no that shit sucks dude yeah that's just a massive inc i've been on that bridge when it's been shut down dude that shit i can't even i didn't even know they could shut it down it's such a busy bridge i guess there is like 10 bridges but there was also 9 000 people 9 000 people on that bridge is nuts yeah it was fucking packed i guess it's a big ass bridge though dude i was in, I was in Queens with Gardini and I was, we were, I was doing his podcast that is never going to come out. And,

uh, I don't know. He just told me they're not putting it out. They're done. They ended the, they ended the podcast. What? Like literally like I recorded the episode,

the episode. It was me, Gardini, big Chrissy and, uh, our buddy Rowie. And we did two episodes. We did like the Patreon and the regular one and then like i just found out like a week later garden he was like oh yeah and it's never gonna go out which sucks

and i was like why dude what do you mean it sucks i don't know he just said like he can't put it out i think they had like a i don't know something between him and his host him and chrissy yeah well they're not doing it anymore damn because he's moving yeah i think he's moving and i think they just like i don't know it sounds ominous yeah i don't really know i don't have any i don't really know he just told me that they're done did one of them start eating chips in the middle of an episode because i can see that dissolving i know know. We need to kick fucking Francis off the show. He's done. Guy had to have his barbecue laced.

Francis is actually in the Dominican Republic. Yeah. You see him walking on the fucking... Walking sidewalk? Or standing on the walking sidewalk? Oh, he did that? What a piece of shit, dude. He tagged me in it.

What a slovenly piece of shit. Got me fucking fired up, I'll tell you that. With his broad shoulders. Broad ass shoulders. And his happy ass disposition. I know. Got me fucking fired up, I'll tell you that. With his broad shoulders. Broad ass shoulders. And his happy ass disposition. I know. His glad fucking disposition. Francis got banged up on Wednesday.

What do you mean? After our show. Oh, you guys went out? Yeah, he had a bunch of Negronis, like 10. That boy loves his Negronis. Yeah, he texted me the next day and he was like, dude, that was the most fun I've ever had. No,

he texted and he was like, dude, that was so fun. Like he's just, there's like a friendly dude. He is so friendly. Golden retriever. He really is just an affirming,

like, yeah, we're having fun. Are we having fun? Yeah. We're having a good time. It was a good time though. Damn. Where'd you guys go?

The stand? We went to the stand and then I went to the cellar with him had a freaking had a crew oh great hang i mean just the hang of the just a hang that you read about well where did you sit the comics table now god now sat in a booth by myself where i just texted francis the whole time where i said what are you guys talking about now looks so fucking fun over your phone on speaker phone on speaker. Flip it face down. No, it was pretty busy there, luckily. So it wasn't... Any goats in there?

A couple goats. I saw David Tell. Goat. I saw his coffee in hand. It's just fucking posted up. But I didn't... That's a picture. I hid outside for a little bit because I was like, this is too much.

I don't like going there at all. It makes me very uncomfortable. What about that area where you can go around past the chains and go back up and smoke cigarettes all of them stand up there and smoke cigarettes it's like outside but not fully outside yeah yeah yeah yeah no that's where david tell was was he yeah the fucking stairs i know i can't take the stairs like a fat guy to be a fly on the wall man yeah brother did tell you about how I had someone on the street the other day come up to me and they were like, do you know where the cellar is? No, never been to it.

Never heard of it. You're asking the wrong fucking dude. Dude, that's like asking Michael Jordan where the fucking Madison Square Garden is, bro. I was like asking Patrick. I was like, I know where the stands at. They got a great, great lineup tonight. Hot shows tonight. Was it on Tuesday?

It actually was on Tuesday. Was it? Yeah. I was on my way to my show. You should have told him. I was like, yeah, go to the cellar. I was like, you guys are gonna have a fucking blast. You should have been like, come with me, man.

Yeah. I asked them who they were seeing and they were like, I have no idea. Like, we're just going to a show. Yeah. People really don't know. No. They're just trying to show up and see some fucking, get some laughs. Yeah. I am too though going to a show. Yeah. People really don't know now. They're just trying to show up and see some fucking get some laughs. Yeah.

I am too though. True. Feel that. I had a shit ton of shows this week. Yeah. Yeah. And then I just, yesterday I just watched ball all day.

Did you watch it here? Smoked. Yeah. Bro, why don't you ever invite me over to watch ball? Cause you were in fucking Philly. No, I wasn't.

I didn't go until the nighttime. I watched the Eagles from home. Really? Yeah. Good win by the Eagles. AJ Brown. AJ Brown. I mean, that dude is unbelievable. I swear to God. Remember like when we watched it at your place and I was like, every time I've ever bet on AJ Brown to score, he hasn't scored. He has not since he had, he hadn't. And then since then, every time I've bet on him to score, he scored. He's on a torrid pace right now. He's

the goat. It's like him and Tyreek Hill own the league yeah patrick mahomes fraud where were you didn't show up yeah i didn't watch that game was it sick oh dude it was awesome yeah yeah are you watching red zone or what do you watch i watched i watched uh the patriots on the tv until like three minutes left in the fourth and then they just started getting like they were taking like cheap shots of the dolphins players and i was like i'm turning this shit off then i think i put on the i think i put on the jets versus the giants you have every game what are you what are you watching on i watch it on uh well i have red zone i put for i usually put red zone on my laptop and then put a game on up there but you know what i don't like is sometimes red zone is either ahead or behind so like they'll show a touchdown that i haven't seen yet or they'll show it like 10

minutes after i've seen it but But yeah, Red Zone's good. I like that. But dude, way too many games at the 1 p.m. Yeah, there's no teams have buys this week because you're a fucking ball head. Nine games like I can't and they're showing me games I don't care about. I don't care about the fucking the Titans. That's why you need to get

deeper into fantasy. So you care about all these fucking different. Well, I'm done. My fantasy team's over. But Will Levis is a Will Levis from Penn from penn state yeah he's the titans guy he's the titans guy now he's just he's basically a son of a boy dad fucking he's basically on the show with us yeah he may as well be i'm basically us dude my fantasy team's i'm not even kidding it's over no it's not her cousins got hurt yeah but you have multiple oh richardson and richardson i have no quarterback damn i had to put in like a wager to get a quarterback and it's like the backup vikings quarterback do you want me to uh trade

you a quarterback no it's not even worth it i mean that league's over no one even fucking pays attention seems like it's just like me and smitty you and smitty i beat the i'd be i'm in third place i'd be ken jack he's in first place this week yeah i fucking snuff them i fucking smoke them i suck every single week i go into the game one on like thursday and's in first place this week. Yeah. I fucking snuffed him. I fucking smoked him. I suck. Every single week I go into like game one on like Thursday and I'm up. Like this week I was projected to win by like 20 points. Sass, you're in the playoffs. What are you talking about, bro?

I'm one of my last. No, you're in the playoffs. But I'm last to make it in. Yeah, but I mean, Hank and PFT are so shitty that it's just the, it's an eight team race for six playoff spots. Yeah. You're, you're fucking in it, bro. I an eight team race for six playoff spots. Yeah. You're fucking in it, bro. I don't want to hear

that attitude from you. I'm fucking done, man. No, dude. I should have done multiple leagues. You know, it's crazy that the NFL players can do fantasy,

but they can't do gambling, gambling. Yeah. I don't know. It's a slippery slope. They all have themselves on their fantasy league. It's hilarious.

Sometimes. I mean, sometimes you get like, are you going to draft yourself first round and make the rest of your team suck like if you're like a fifth round pick guy you're going to draft yourself first round no you don't so then what if someone drafts you before that like what if someone drafts you fourth round you're a fifth round guy but it isn't like the whole reason that you're not allowed to gamble because like then it could affect the game and you could be like well i'm not going to sack this guy because i don't have it in my parlay but like what if you're like what if you're like oh shit that's

the tight end that i have on my fantasy team i'm gonna let him catch everything like i know that probably never happens and i know it probably wouldn't even happen with betting unless you're like putting like a billion dollars or if you win in fantasy you get nothing you don't think they're putting money on that but per game or for the whole season for the whole season dude those guys probably have like a thousand guys probably have like fifty thousand dollar buy-ins no way no one has a fifty thousand dollar buy-in you don't think dudes in the nfl have even like uh dave and like all those mlb players definitely don't have a fifty thousand dollar buy-in but those those guys aren't ballers like they have a lot of money but they're not big ballers

no that's like mike trout they are ballers and so what so you can bet on other sports because like lebron's throwing his picks out constantly is he you haven't seen that i think you can now the picks the picks james that's what we're calling them i think that uh nba players i think there's a new thing where they could talk about gambling this year that's cool good for them yeah it should be i mean it makes a lot of sense they're all going to get out of the league and event like start pitching gambling shit anyway has it always been like this has it always been like like has gambling always been this big no it just got legalized recently you know this yeah but it was legal in like vegas yeah but it was only legal in vegas yeah but it was only legal in

vegas and you had to go to vegas to do it so i think it was big but people were still betting so but like it wasn't like you weren't seeing the fucking espn pre pre sunday show and giving out their picks it was illegal like they would be like they would be like shady about it they'd be like put it in parentheses you couldn't talk about it that makes sense yeah because it's just like everywhere now it's all you see when you're watching like espn it's just like and it's like some fucking hot girl and she's like i'm gonna take the under on that game i think and then you're like all right i'm definitely taking the over dumb bitch no but it's just like any vegas probably knows you're doing that dude vegas is probably telling her to put out the correct pick and everyone's like i know more about football than her she doesn't fucking know it's

not even i was i was making a joke about the about the girl but there's like a hundred girls i don't even know who they are but it was more like any of those people like those fucking dudes in the suits and shit and i'm like i don't trust any of you yeah they're also not giving me the picks that i want they're not giving me fucking saquon Barkley to put up to in the first. That's what I want to see. Did you get, did you put AJ Brown for two touchdowns? No,

I had him for one. You got to treat yourself. I had AJ Brown for one. I had Christian McCaffrey for two. And I had Jamar chase for one. And that hit. Did you hit as good as, as last now?

Cause I lost all my 1pm games. Fucking idiot. And Saquon didn't score which really fucked me i felt bad though because i gave gardini my picks because like i gave him my picks last week and he was like holy shit you're the best well now i know why the fucking pod's not coming out yeah we're actually not gonna associate with you anymore exactly yeah you don't know shit about football so so we're going to go ahead and distance ourselves from you. I felt bad because I gave him two picks yesterday and those were the two ones that didn't hit.

Why'd you only give him two? Why didn't you give him everything? Because I put in a ton of really stupid bets. Got it. Were you pretty funny on his podcast? You can run back any good stories that you had if you want to. No, I don't remember saying much i was very hot i remember that oh yeah i was sweating they had a it was the last week you last week was unseasonably hot

last week was in the 80s oh man it was fucking hot out this weekend and i was furious you were mad i fucking loved it i hate it i want it to be cold dude i like this is the weather where i'm like like i was like i'm gonna walk to my shows get outside i'm fucking drenched in sweat had to go into the bathroom and wipe my face down really yeah you were that sweaty that's fucking gross dude we were in like the first quarter of the sixers game joe lmb is just drenched in sweat oh yeah so early into the game it must take so much sweat to cool down like a 300 pound seven foot dude yeah 100 to like change his body those guys are fucking giants and yeah he's in great shape and he just must be fucking like it must be gallons of sweat coming out of him every single game i love the videos of those dudes like uh or like the nfl guys when they take their

helmets off and there's just steam coming off of their head it's insane we're like zion williamson you know who that dude is yeah like imagine how much he sweats yeah probably imagine how much a defensive tackle or like offensive tackle sweats during the game they gotta be losing pounds and pounds it's fucking insane and that's just you walk into the cellar in fucking november yeah dude i sweat like i'm fucking psycho. Like a stuck pig. Dude, earlier today at work. At the stool. At the stool, Frank the Tank, we were like shooting something with Joey, like this Thanksgiving thing, a cooking thing. And Frank the Tank like leaned over to me and like muttered to me. He's like, yeah, and this sales team really can't sell anything.

It's like this sales team is having freaking trouble selling anything that i do he like muttered to me under his breath he's like i'm having better better luck with jank selling my stuff for me than the sales team like yeah they couldn't sell a bible to the pope frank dude i don't know why but like frank recently has just been like fucking killing me he's so funny right yeah dude i like i don't know if it's because i haven't been like seeing him as much no he's just on one but like skinny frank he's like in great shape he's like uh that video frank yeah dude the video that he did with the bear was one of the funniest things i've ever seen the mascots yeah no no the bear the actual when he's at the aquarium and they have the grizzly bear at the zoo you didn't see it oh dude so funny him he's

like he's like i think he's sitting there there's like a kid a little kid and a mom next to him and he's sitting pressed up against the glass and he's talking to the bear and he's like what are you guys gonna do this year he's like you gotta fire the coach you gotta clean house get a new gm maybe try and get first pick next season and then he goes and this is the best part he goes and what are you gonna do about john john morant he just switched to a whole different league but still bears it was so funny i was just talking to the whole bear community bro he's so funny bro we need to have him on here i know we do i don't know how that would go

we should i mean it would go well you and him will get along well yeah not like me and him and him are always beefing walk into your apartment and fucking start roasting yeah he would sit in the middle of the couch it would fucking fold your apartment and fucking start roasting yeah he would sit in the middle of the couch it would fucking fold up like a fucking i know closing dude this seat right here is just i'm engraved and i know you sit hard on this bit i sit on this thing like like when i when i when i sleep on this my back is lower than my legs that's probably good for your hamstrings and your probably circulation you're like in a hammock i know but it's fucking oh man dude on the bike ride over here i biked down from the stool it was

fucking awesome just like it's a fucking isn't it a fast ride it's super like five minutes and it was in the middle of the day yeah there's nobody on the street it's like four lanes wide i'm just like fucking zooming down the street and some guy was crossing the intersection and uh was nowhere close to him i was like maybe 15 feet away from him yeah the bike went went wide of him and he was like don't forget the red light like tried to roast me bastard i took a half second i just yelled back at him and then and i knew it got to him and so he he like started uh he like started yelling back at me he's got a bike bike a bike brawl he started yelling back at me he wasn't on a bike he was just walking oh he's walking and so he started yelling back he started yelling something back at me and just like way louder i just yelled again

but by now i was on my bike and i was a full block away from him yeah like and i like realized that i was just like baby screaming on a bike like i'd entered like a different block where it was like a whole new group of people that could see me yeah and i was just like wang oh yeah like i'm a fucking asshole dude i'm a fucking psychopath that's the good thing about living in new york though no one even i bet no one even turned their head yeah i mean dude you you could be at least you're not one of those dudes that's just like jesus we all need jesus yeah priests lawyers teachers fathers jesus in like a fedora with like a big sign and uh like over their shoulder uh like public address system basically they're just fucking have a speaker attached to their body yeah i've been big on the fucking biking walking

train i can't do the ubers anymore dude well i just can't take it because it's the the average car is going seven miles an hour in the city so slow dude and i get car i like i don't get car sick normally and now i'm getting car sick in the ubers it's so sick i mean living in manhattan bro i don't think i would ever not walk i don't think there's some places where you kind of like like or never not walk not walk. Yeah. But like, like, what do you mean? Like you would take the train or walk or walk or bike everywhere. Yeah.

It's so nice to be outside and to walk. Yeah, that's true. It's fucking incredible. There is some places though, that it's like kind of like a pain in the ass to get there by like train if it's too far. But I guess, yeah,

biking wouldn't be the worst biking in the winter stuff though. You got to get those fucking Uber Eats gloves that they have. Those big ass paper bags. But you only need those for like a fucking week, though. True. I don't know. I think this is going to be a long winter. I don't think so.

That's what people are saying. People are saying this is going to be the worst one in a while. Did the thing see a shadow? I think it saw. Yeah. Mother Nature saw her shadow. And she said she's going to drop those titties on the fucking world. Yeah, exactly.

Because fucking, dude, like already got like a shit ton of snow denver and upstate new york do whatever the fuck they want upstate new york gets fuck every buffalo probably has like it's probably over for buffalo they're gonna have a cataclysmic like uh apocalyptic event up there in buffalo and we're just gonna be down here chilling with like 70 degree days yeah buffalo didn't like 30 people die in buffalo last year from a blizzard i don't that that's crazy they always have nine feet of snow yeah it's always not wild i don't even know you could like in this day and age i feel like we should be really minimizing natural disaster deaths they're not though there's more of them coming there's oh yeah big time global warming

natural disasters just because they're happening in different places natural disasters are starting to explore oh yeah they're becoming nomadic and they're trying to search for different places to occur big time tornadoes nine like we'll do a tornado in new york oh my god that would be unreal that would be terrifying i would i used to have a big fear of tornadoes same have you ever seen uh like the fingers of a tornado touchdown no i've seen like what we've gotten like tornado warnings and shit my cousins when they lived in illinois they would get tornado warnings constantly dude i remember being a kid at my uncle's in uh minnesota and we he was at an apartment building and five i saw five tornadoes like the fucking hand of god like the fingers of

god like off in the distance it was the scariest thing i've ever fucking seen in my life yeah multiple level buildings yeah but do they you see you ever see a building like i think everyone thinks of like i think maybe i'm wrong maybe it's just me i feel like my fear of tornadoes comes back from like wizards wizard of oz and i feel like that's gonna happen to me like my house sucked into color tv yeah my whole entire apartment all of a sudden is gonna start spinning and i'll be like looking out the window oh no it was scary as a kid but like in like in that movie it would be like the fucking uber eats lady who uber eats guy just pulled up like he would be fine but my apartment would be like 30 feet off the ground just spinning around completely structurally it would be fine but it would get

twisted off of its access like the head of a lego it would just get popped off and just be completely intact not fucking leveled like when tornadoes come through houses it's like you every two by four is discombobulated from the rest of the house like everything is completely ripped apart and they used to say there used to be that thing where they would be like you know where the safest play of safest place of the tornado is the eye like the center of the tornado it's like that no ain't in the middle of it get through the barrier to get to there like it's imagine dude that like it up until like probably like the last five years if there was a tornado like right there my first

thought would probably be like i gotta get to the center of this bitch i gotta get to the eye run i gotta run straight through this thing and get to the middle like what like getting in the like a revolving door oh yeah just jumping in like when the time was right like you're getting in a double dutch like real quick through the fucking side of the tornado to be in the eye and just shuffling alongside with it yeah you gotta get to that eye it just can't be the safest place there's no way well you you cannot get to it how do you know there's no way to get to it or people will be like it's the like the calm of the eye of the storm like you come out of the storm cellar and you look up and it's like completely calm yeah but you're actually

in the eye of the storm how do you get into the middle of the storm how big is the eye i don't know like i i have a very warped idea of what tornadoes are because i've never really seen one in person like i always imagine that the eye of a tornado is like the size of my finger like you like when i used to like when i used to draw tornadoes the bottom of it would be a like a tiny yeah a tiny little dot and then it gets wider bro they were so fun to draw like with the tasmanian devil coming out of it or some shit like that when you really learned how to draw them though because i used to do them where i would just go like that all the way down yeah and then it would just kind of

just like an upside down triangle right but then i learned how to do it with the circle oh the circles on top of one another it's like sonic's rings that one that one's satisfying incredible incredible to doodle people make livings out of doodling dude yeah big time i don't mind a doodle at all dude i love i mean i used to be that's all i used to do in school was just doodle constantly i would just write my name fast what were you what was your best drawing uh a cube a helicopter or a tornado i was pretty nice at shoes shoes yeah oh i could do bart, I could do Bart Simpson for a while, too. His whole body?

Just the face. Because didn't they say MG, like the macaroni for the ears? Yeah, yeah. Or that was Homer Simpson's like that. Oh, no, Homer. I could do Homer. Because Homer, it's literally just... And then you're done.

Yeah. Yeah. So I could do that. For the listener, he just drew Homer Simpson. Oh, yeah. I assumed everyone was watching. But in reality... I always forget that most people don. He just drew Homer Simpson. Oh yeah. I'd assumed everyone was watching, but in reality, I always forget that most people don't watch.

They listen. It's 80% and we've been doing you guys a disservice and we're sorry about that. Yeah, but not anymore. Now this shit, there's a good chance that we go back and listen back and around like the 30 minute market just fucking tanked. Yeah, we actually died and we're like hovering above our bodies.

A tornado struck and we were ripped limb from limb. I wonder how to talk about tornadoes. I wonder what we do with this. Like, I wonder if we have to fucking take this thing down and edit it or if we can just put this bitch right up. It'd be fire if we can put it up. I mean, we'll be able to put it up. It's recording on the zoom on the pod track before and then the Sony seven three.

Nah, but once the cam link, just a little bit of cam lingo just a little bit of cam link yeah we're just gonna fucking do that was honestly a great feeling going to best buy and they actually had everything i needed did you ask the guy did you ask one of their experts no you just went around and found i went around and found it myself that's man bro you're a hunter gatherer yeah it felt good you good. You're a forager. Yeah. And then I went to fucking, uh, guitar city or guitar center. Oh yeah. Yeah. Which I, I don't know. That place is a weird vibe. It's a lot of dudes who are clearly on like Oxycontin as most great guitarists are like white Oxycontin dudes. And they're like, yeah, I'm about to put out my first album soon and they're like just buying

like a million dollars worth of equipment oh the people who are shopping yeah what about the people that are working there no all of them are autistic literally every single person that works there they're like pod track four rolling around my head back right that's where you're gonna want to find it i show up just furious and i'm like yeah i'm just gonna get the do you guys have a pod track p4 scanning that's literally what it's like and then like mental rolodex found it it's like dude you would expect the the best buy people to be more autistic the dudes at guitar center blow them out of the water no the best buy dudes are like the best buy dudes who are like like studio engineers they're all just like a drewski character just the dude post up

against the wall just swinging the fucking lanyard around his hand 100 it's like what do you want i'm like hi could you unlock the cam link 4k for me, bro? Do you want this one? Or should I get it? Like they, cause they're always in the middle of it. Can I help you, sir?

I caught, I caught, I caught one of my boys working at Best Buy one time. It's always just the meanest. Can I help you? I caught my boy working at Best Buy and he was like, he was like, what do you mean you caught him?

He, he like never told anyone. That's so funny. A studio engineer, my boy working at best buy and he was like he was like what do you mean you caught him he like they don't want me knowing that's so funny a studio engineer my boy geez and we we caught him working at best buy because you're in the rap game no one wants to say what your real job is he like made beats he was a studio engineer and we caught him at best buy and he was like like annoyed at us and like sheepish about it yeah yeah i'm sure but i was like so can you help us though yeah yeah and they all they all make you check out with them because they get like a discount or some shit they had to get so they get a fucking commission you think they get commission over there i think they do i think they get a small commission but i got fucking oh man they got they tried to get me on that credit card so bad i had to flash the credit card i had to flash

the mx platinum i was like dude what do you think you think i want the best buy credit card come on man look at this thing also i need to use this to get my absolutely shocking that best buy is still in business that you can like still go to a store in the city and be like oh i need a fucking adapter it has to have it up at night yeah i mean it's crazy but it was packed there's like everyone's there need it people i mean it's fun to go in there and look at all the tvs it is it's fun to be like oh what's the difference between these tvs yeah and streaming is huge now so it's a bunch of there was a dude in there just walking around with like a samurai sword and a camera guy and he's like i need to get a fucking hard drive or

some shit and it's like that sucks that i'm trying to do the same thing that he's doing because you'll never reach the oh yeah now that guy did you see like no it's crazy this is your samurai sword brother that's my wand i know you want to see the real i really do these are the reels that i care about fuck instagram these are the real reels i might get i might get flamed for this i might get flamed for this because this is I believe the camera I believe this is a starter this is the starter orvis rod I don't know if it's going to go into focus but yeah by where our heads were in the middle here just so people can see it quick six weight six weight there's a three-piece rod flame his ass hey ready you got to hear this is gonna be satisfying that's so nice oh yeah that tickles it tickles my ears just right

oh my god that's fucking nice i think that really just loosened up some earwax that was just jingling around in there yeah that's my that's my wand people always get surprised they're like dude how do you travel with a fishing rod bro and this is what i'm talking about when i say i don't want to travel with it it looks like a fucking rifle no it looks like a fucking dick in a ball sack look at that thing it looks like i'm traveling with a monster dildo yeah it looks like but with like that has a sack yeah it has a pouch for its sack yeah it looks like this is like what like one of those fucking like like a like a fucking i don't know what's the correct word to use here you're talking dildos i'm talking dildos but like what are the dudes that do the strap-ons not not a transgender stud no like a woman will like a drag like a drag show looks like i'm going on the road as a drag

artist and i'm like yeah this is my piece this is my fucking cock but it does look like a gun dude that would be so funny walking around with this and it's just your fucking dildo in here it is it is uh or having a rifle case that has dildo like a long ass dildo in it yeah it does look like it it just looks suspicious it's not something that's fun to carry around the airport this especially in new york yeah in New York, you walk around with it and people are like holding their kids back. They're like, get let him go first. They don't care about the dude in a khaki full outfit screaming on his bicycle

going down the street. They don't care about the guy pushing a cart and singing at full voice to himself going the opposite way against traffic. They see a dude like me with ill-fitting sized clothes and a fucking massive tube on me. opposite way against traffic they see a dude like me yeah there's they see like fitting size closed and clothes and a fucking massive tube on me a 20 something white year old yeah or white 20 something year old with a fucking some sunglasses on when i was going to iceland the uber driver he

pulled it out of the back of his car and he was like be careful and laughed and then uh and then you go to like somewhere like carry out the mission, comrades. You know what to do. The blind eagle flies at night. Al-Akbar. And then you go to fucking... Like Portland, and you're walking with the rod. Everyone's like, catch a fucking big one, bro. Make sure you get a slob when you're here.

A fat slob? Yeah, you gotta get a slob when you're here that's what they call them yeah a fat slob yeah you gotta get a get a slob i didn't catch any slobs but damn what can you do slob slob on my fucking knob like corn on the cob bro oh fuck we didn't do any ads hey guys let's take a second and talk about threachy of all the things in life one of the best has to be getting high whenever you want wherever you want without the paranoia of consuming some sketchy black market. Bunk. No, boof. We're talking about boof now, not bunk, but boof. Anytime it's coming from the black market, boof, bunk.

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Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please use responsibly. 3chi. 3chi. Dude, pizza is fucking big in New York. Last night, it was pouring out. Pouring out. And I'm like Ubering to go to a spot, and there's just a line of people outside of Joe's Pizza

just waiting in the rain. And I'm like, guys, it's not that good. Is Joe's the place they went on Friends? Ooh, it might have been. Well. Bruh. Don't tell me, bro. I can't be slipping up live like this.

Yeah, that's fucking bro just got caught lacking badly i know first he didn't know schwimmer was jewish now he forgot about an idea joe's and matthew perry you're gonna forget that fucking lisa kudrow played phoebes next is she alive oh and thriving yeah she's the one that everyone said looks the best like she, she looks normal. I think they all look... Jennifer Aniston looks normal. Jennifer Aniston looks normal. And what's the other one's name?

Courtney Cox. Courtney Cox. She got a lot of work done. Which is great if that's what you're into. Yeah, true. Yeah, she looks fucking awesome if you like how she looks. Yeah. If you're into that type of look that she had.

Truth. Yeah. I you're into that type of look that she had. Truth. Yeah. I have nothing against friends. I do feel like, though, with some people with Taylor Swift, so many people are liking Taylor Swift that I think some people are just liking her because they're scared. Yeah, I don't know.

I was never a big, like, I hate friends person. Like, I know there's a lot of people out there who are really anti friends. I was never like that. No, you were like that. We actually had this conversation on the yak because I said I used to watch a

show when I was little and I thought it was funny. And then you were like, name one funny thing that happened. And then I remember I said a funny episode and you went, that's really funny. Yeah. So Matthew Perry, haunt him because you don't believe in ghosts either,

which is a bad idea because this place is fucking haunted. How's that manifest in itself? This apartment? Yeah. In every way imaginable. Chairs sliding across the floor. Dude, shit just flying around. What are the odds?

That was them, dude. That was literally a message from Matthew Perry. As soon as I said that, something just fell off of me. That was fucking insane. I told you just fell off of me that was fucking insane i told you dude i hope that was i hope that was audible i swear to god i did not do that myself now it was just the case felt slid off of me but still though weird timing i told you dude this place is haunted i'll be i'll be sitting here and i'll be laying down like this and for those who don't know who've never been to my apartment before the uh

i thought that was funny for those who've never been to my apartment um that must be what it's like doing like a like a shitty podcast what do you mean because like the only people that are listening are like your friends you're literally talking to your family members who are paying for everything those who don't know who haven't been over here there's a big hallway right here since the last time you guys were here it's a very spooky hallway very very very thin walls and very high and i'll be sitting here and you can just tell like someone's watching me from down there yeah so now i keep and there's so many doorways to keep the kitchen light on yeah you have to the kitchen otherwise you can't even really call that thing a kitchen yeah no one told you life was going to be

this way now your love life's doa true that we should stop by after this and go pay our respects a lot of people were out there where did you see him i saw gaz's story i saw gaz's story too gaz i guess lives across from there and likes to shame the people that just loved Matthew Perry. Yeah, Gaz and me are neighbors. So I guess I can tell you how things are going for him. Yikes. Actually, no. I walked down your block, dude, that someone was fitting.

You could see into their like brownstone style house and someone was fitting a like eight foot framed gold hundred percent photo or not photo like a painting yeah you definitely are which i'm happy with like this is a i love this apartment poorest person probably and definitely worst decor oh hundred percent and it's not close there's really no decor only thing on the wall are like streaks there's nothing on the walls i gotta put's like streaks and stains. Yeah, but it's just like, dude, I had one of my buddies came over here and he was like,

he's like, man, this is such a nice apartment. It's a chain that you like, just treat it like shit. And I was like, I don't think I treat it like shit. I think it's just, I don't have anything up on the walls. No, no.

But it's like, I don't know. It's like whatever. You're like a, you're a 22 year old bachelor. It's like, yeah, what am I going to do? I'm not going to be fucking getting like a carpet and shit. I'm not going to get shapes. Or you could just be like a plant guy. Yeah, bachelor. It is what it is. We're not going to be fucking getting like a carpet and shit.

Or you could just be like a plant guy. Yeah, I thought about getting some plants for there. It sucks because I sealed that door shut so I can't open it anymore. Yeah, but if you became a plant guy, you'd have to have the worst dick imaginable. You know plant guys. You go over to a plant guy's house, you know you're about to get some awful dick. Oh, 100%. Have you ever seen those memes that say that?

Yeah. You walk into a house like this, you know you're about to get the awful dick oh 100 have you ever seen those memes that say that yeah you walk into a house like this you know you're about to get the worst dick there's a bunch of those with the satirizer for the boys flag really yeah dude my fucking my wife uh when i first i found i was going through our mugs yeah at the house and when i first started uh working at barstool she went to a ceramics class and uh she painted me a saturdays are for the boys mug that's hilarious well that was probably when saturdays for the boys was like it was it was really popular and really popping but it was just so funny that she was like he'll like this this is his personality now this is what he's into she painted over like the lyrics to fucking lose yourself or something.

No, he has a new personality now. Saturdays are for the boys. That's hilarious. But a girl comes into a place like this, she knows she's about to get the dick of a lifetime. Yeah, maybe. When a girl pulls into a place and there's just a stack of fucking laundry on the bed, completely unwashed and unfolded, she knows she's about to get her back bent out of shape there's literally just like loose articles of clothing there's a tie a dress shirt a patriot sweatshirt and a blanket a jacket

god damn a sweater what the fuck is that sweater doing the patriot sweater no this sweat that's a that's a blanket blanket you can't even tell what it is. If I was a mouse, I would be gunning for this area. This little pile right there has mouse home written all over it. See, I used to think that was where they were, but it turns out they're in the kitchen. I wonder why. But I try and keep it pretty clean. Like, I got my factors coming today. They're probably actually here right now.

Did you see the box downstairs? No, I didn't. But I saw a perfect place for a big-ass couch. Clip is doing crazy. bro. Twist my arm. Clip is fucking sick. Dude, I thought it was a good, I thought it was a funny joke and I think it is a funny joke, but it's like every time I post something, the barstool people love to just assume that I'm just stealing jokes from everybody. It's pretty crazy. Cause I'm like, dude, what do you think? Like,

like I did that. I've been doing that joke for like six months. It's like what do you think like do you like i did that i've been doing that joke for like six months like do you think like you think i'm just like doing it being like yeah this is gonna this is gonna this is gonna kill this bit that i just stole yeah like i'm not fucking like i don't know everything's been done you can take any joke and be like that's well this person had a joke about that there's nothing new under the sun brother no but what can you do i liked it yeah i thought it was very funny. I don't think you can satisfy people by put like with every joke you put online. No. And it's also just such a minority of people.

But I still just that's all I think about. Yeah. And then I sit there. Stop Jewish hate, bro. Speaking of minorities. And I'm like, I'm the worst. I hate myself. You delete all your social media.

I almost deleted the clip. then i was like i'm just gonna ride this one out who gives a fuck yeah people don't actually like half of them wouldn't even have the balls they're just jealous totally that's what your mom used to tell you they're just jealous of me that's what it is no they're not yeah your mom used to tell you that i mean not your mom everybody's mom used to tell them that like the kids are just bullying you because they're jealous that used to be like the number one it even like in this like when like everyone's like well the people that are really mean to you they're just jealous of you it's like no i think they just hate you

yeah they just think you're like deeply unfunny yeah they just think i suck it troubles them to such a point where they have to let you know like they have to go out of their way jealous yeah they're all posting that all their profile pictures are like them with their fucking four kids and their wife i think they're looking at me being like i want to live in a tiny apartment in new york i want to have mouse traps fucking yeah i want my living room to have 15 different mouse traps i want to have boxes of eye lotion fucking stacked underneath the tv what the fuck is that eye lotion it's not eye lotion it's lid scrub bro it's for when you get styes what the fuck is the difference it's for styes is this a stye

no you don't get styes on the top of your eyelid we just said lid scrub you get them you get them like right at the bottom like right at the end of your lid i got some some trouble on my lid i got trouble on my mind i do have this this is good for styes i don't have styes a lot i had to die once and i had to get rid of it and uh this thing i bought this at cvs it's fun to play with that's why i have it out but it's a little warm compress you put in the microphone for like a minute, stays warm for like 30 minutes. Bro, your dumb ass doesn't even realize you just said you put it in the microphone. Did I say that? This guy's been thinking about stand-up comedy.

Pod life. Pod life, man. No, I've been thinking about this goddamn podcast. Yeah. Do you like the mic covers? The microwave covers? The mic covers. Yeah, I was just joking.

I got more, too too i got a red one and a green one and a gray one i thought i might throw the gray one out though we don't need that energy in here yeah i hate fucking terrible energy nothing pisses me off more than just some bad fucking energy a gray microphone covers like having an ak-47 sitting in the corner straight up and honestly i was gonna make two bro you basically have a stack of ak-47s over there with all those little the tiny notebooks that you have those are comics ak-40 that's a comics arsenal right there that's my fucking weapon you know that he's and he's stacked up right now i bring my weapons out and i kill on the stage he dares you like the true artist that i am he goes

up with like a batman belt with five different notebooks. A utility belt full of five different marble notebooks that he can whip out at any time. He knows where each one of them is. He can open them up blindfolded, go to any page, tell any joke. This is my rifle. This is my gun. They didn't really do any of that shit in World War II. They didn't have any of those like jingles. They must have jingles they had some they had some for like but it was never there

was never the fucking like this is my rifle this is my gun oh they probably had that you know my favorite one is i left my home i haven't heard that one to join the army that's my favorite one your mama was gone when you left you're right your mama was gone when you left you're right your mama i don't know that one these are fire i gotta get in on these you don't know your cadences no i gotta get in on my fucking on my military calls and i gotta i need to learn i've been trying to pick up some old sailor lingo like what i just know the one from jaws where he goes here's to swimming with bold naked women i love love that. And like the lighthouse. You're using the lighthouse when they're singing those songs.

I want to get shit face at a bar and be singing those songs. It looks like the most fun time ever. Bro, invite me out to get shit face. I feel like you're getting shit face with Francis. You're getting shit face. Well, I was getting shit face with Francis because we had a show together. Bro. Well, you and I have a show together right now.

You know what? I actually do have a show at the stand coming up. When? I think it's like Wednesday. It's like a Wednesday sometime soon. If it's next Wednesday, I'm down to go. I think it's next Wednesday. No, it would be in two Wednesdays.

Yeah, because next Wednesday is the barstool basketball thing, correct? No idea. Do we have to do that? I think it's Yak basketball. But we're not even on the logo anymore. I know. They took us off the logo did you see that i saw that i thought that we were i thought that we were boys for life yeah me too that's how they made it seem yeah i wish they like faded us off like fucking like every

episode it was like paul walker yeah every episode it was a little little more transparent yeah we're disappearing like the the family and back to the future. There's so many shows and movie plots that are based on like going back in time and the person, they turn around and they're like missing an arm. They're like, you gotta go back in time, like Hot Tub Time Machine.

That shit was equally as scary to me as the Wizard of Oz. Yeah. I actually think that happens in Wizards of Waverly Place. I mean, I was about to say don't dox yourself, but that was the old Addy. Yeah, I don't live there anymore. I used to live right there. I used to live right on Waverly. And then ever Selena Gomez posted a picture right outside my apartment.

And then you had to move. Yeah. It got too hot. It got way too hot. Block was popping. You know who they say? Actually, I probably shouldn't say that. Taylor Swift.

No. No, not Taylor Swift. But actually actually i don't really give a fuck they say that uh someone told me that emma emma radikowski lives on this block emily radikowski emrata emma or emma emily what's her name emily i'm sorry i don't know fuck you what are you talking about bro i respect sorry i'm not up to my fuck i don't have fucking names down of the fucking super names now what are you talking about fucking perv like there's fucking emily ratajkowski shaped amrata there's not emily rata no dude there's exactly there's loads that are shaped like her body right on this fucking couch dude you've been jacking off to her stencil i know you have i just stand on that little balcony and i just go emma but she doesn't know who you're talking about

she probably thinks that she was hoping that you would say emily but she is it emily or emma emily radikowski it's emily oh okay see that sounds good where are you i remember seeing her she used to like date a guy that everyone's like he's ugly eric andre no a different guy eric andre is not ugly he's fucking jacked now i mean he could be ugly and jacked no it's literally impossible are you serious. I'm about to try and get jacked then. Wipe away my ugly. White boy.

Bro, oomph going through his ugly phase. Huh? Yeah, yeah. It's bad, bro. I'm joking. I just didn't hear what you said, but I am going through a bad, ugly phase. No, not at all, bro. It's fucking...

Dude, I'd rather be at peace with it than fucking... Oh, I'm at peace with it for sure. Trying to deny my ugly face. I'm at peace with myself right now. Nothing worse than thinking you're in a hot phase when you're in an ugly phase. I know I'm not in a hot phase. It happens. I see it happening to women folk all the time. Oh, yeah.

They think they're in a hot era. As soon as they turn 14. in a hot as soon as they turn 14 you think you're fucking hot right now but you're actually ugly as fuck and awkward get it together oh man i love making fucking pedophile jokes i wasn't even i wasn't going pedophile oh i was yeah well that's i mean i think you honestly what's the rule like your age half your age plus eight so i think you're actually good's the rule? Like your age, half your age plus eight. So I think you're actually good. Oh no, no, you're not. Yeah.

Not according to the law. Half your age plus eight. That's like your age. Yeah. That doesn't work at all. Half your age plus eight is what it's supposed to be. I think it's more of, that's probably, that's probably like a pedophile's rule, or like dudes who are like don't want to be considered pedophiles anymore.

Yeah. Half your age plus eight, so like a 40-year-old would date a 28-year-old, would be the youngest he could go. Interesting. So for you as a 22-year-old, half your age would be 11 plus eight would be 19. Interesting. I'll think about that that was such a perverted thing that people came up it is really perverted it's funny yeah um there are some weird things out there that you just notice and you're like that's weird the rule of thumb yeah you know the rule of thumb is

like you can't beat your wife with a stick that's wider than your thumb. And now we just say like, Oh, I just keep that as a rule of thumb. No, I didn't really about domestic abuse. That's fucked. That's crazy that they used to be like what people would do.

Yeah. Go home and get to smack him. They'd wear shirts that said wife, they wear shirts that were called wife beaters. Yeah. Wife beaters is hilarious. All right. All right.

I guess we'll end on that. All right. All right. I guess we'll end on that. All right. Thank you guys for listening. We'll see you on Wednesday. And we'll try and get it started a little bit early on Wednesday, right? Yeah, we'll get it started a little early so there's no technical problems. Just to kind of try and bake in. If there are technical problems, hopefully we'll be starting right at our normal three o'clock.

And if there's not any technical problems, tune in and check us out early yes and also the good news is that this was if this comes out well that means that wednesday will be the same quality because this was recorded on a private live stream but also we uh it took us a second to get us to get up and running like over an hour well so we want to make sure that we're starting over an hour early so we can be on time for a three o'clock stream we're not trying to be an hour late for the stream sounds good dude we could also like read the chat with this i wonder if we can fool around we can do some cool shit we can like put stuff on this because this thing just you can just move this bitch yo what i guess that would have been easier i could have just moved me a little bit to there

so then i could have sat like this damn you live you learn all right thank you guys for listening goodbye