Son of a Boy Dad - ASAP SAS | Son of a Boy Dad #440

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

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Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad free on Amazon Music. Son of a Boy Dad is brought to you by our partners and friends over at High Noon. Folks, it is fall officially. It's football season. I can't wait to get to a game and tailgate, and I'm going to be bringing a case of High Noon. High noon is your go-to move anytime that you're at a tailgate, if you're at a wedding, if you're hanging out with friends, if you're watching the game at home, why not have a case of high noons ready to go because you can go tequila, you can go vodka, you could go pineapple,

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You're in high school. I forgot I made another cup of coffee. I brought a cup of coffee a year. Mm-hmm. So I thought that was it. Let's just start. You made a cup of coffee? My tongue is, like, actually, like, destroyed.

It can barely, like, I can't even feel it. Are you not going to be able to podcast? Probably not. We need to banish that thing up and get you back out on the field. Just smoke you. You should have smoked to. Rub some dirt on it. I can't.

I have three podcasts today and two shows. It's a regular day. God forbid. Yeah, what do you guys have today? Three podcasts. And you then you got two shows after? Francis, what do you got? You got three shows?

Do you hear me complaining? No, but I mean, that is a lot. It's a long day. I'm not going to get home until 10. Yeah, working in the minds. You're going to go from your podcasts to the club and not go home? I have, well, we have already garbage at two, and then I have me and the Bush podcast at four,

and then I have a spot at seven. So I'll probably just say. Yeah. Unfortunate, but what can you do? What can you do? That hurts so bad. No, I'm done. I'm just doing the math.

It is a grand total of four and a half hours of work that you're talking about. And I'm looking at two hours of work today. I'm not complaining. I'm not complaining. You can't even, this is not a contest. I'm not complaining. I just said, I have a long day today. It's a long day.

Leave the apartment at fucking whatever or whatever I left. Get home at 10. Now you're counting the transit as work hours? Yeah. We're starting work at 12.30 p.m. You guys are starting work at 1230 p.m. I've been up for hours. Working?

Grinding. On what? Coffee beans. The topics for today's episode. People ask me, do you guys prep stuff? The answer is unequivocally now. I do. Every episode.

You write bits? Yep. Is this one of them? Meanwhile, I thought, I thought this whole time you were riffing. No, never. The coffee thing. The coffee thing was the season five writers came together with that one. That's the big one.

What if Harry burns his mouth to start the episode? Are we going? Start it. Alrighty, welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast. Today, it is 12.36 p.m. Well, not today. It's actually, it's September 28th. And it's 1236 p.m.

And we're here live from HQ 3. welcome back. Hello, hello. We're recording two episodes because are you about to be Japanciss? Japan says tomorrow. Hell yeah. Yeah, I'm going to Japan tomorrow. That's so sick. Yeah, I appreciate it.

So are you packed already? No. But I don't think that's going to be tough because I'm going to bring what I'm wearing and then two empty suitcases. But you got to bring a base layer. My clothes for the plane. That's it? So you're going like for like wait like what time do you land?

4 p.m. Right to the store. Right to Louis Vuitton. Have to. That's crazy. Bring just one outfit for that day. I've told you this before I think, but one time I was on a plane to Vegas and this last weekend.

No. No. You were playing hot bottle? Years and years ago. And the guy, the guy didn't bring a, he didn't have a carry on. And he, and someone was asking him about it. And he was like, if I. bring extra clothes and stuff.

I want the pressure of having to win money so that I can buy things. Oh, wow. He's like, that focuses me and makes me more competitive. I want the pressure of needing to shop in Japan, in Tokyo, in order to. I like that. You should honestly burn your clothes at the airport. You should just be ass naked by the time you get to unique low. Yeah.

Well, I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to go to the first store, go to the dressing room, take my clothes off, you know, soil them. Defile them. Can you, like, maybe exchange them? I'm not going to take my sweaty plain clothes. You never know. If they're Japanese, they might. They have a lot of vintage stores out there.

They're big on vintage. Yeah. If you have some pre-made vintage. Yeah. But you're good, they want American brands. You've been buying nothing but Japanese brands. Yeah, bring them some like, this is American stuff. Everything I'm wearing today is American, actually.

It's actually all American. This is free note cloth. These are Truman Boot Co. This is Ben Brand. So this is all American. So I'll take this over, go to the vintage store. It's a great idea. Yeah.

Pawn it. And then you start chopping. Trade like the ancient Native Americans. I would see what the most expensive piece of clothing you can acquire is without spending any money. Just trades. Just trading up. But that's like a YouTube video.

He's there to just be a consumer. He's there to stimulate the end. Just to consume. Yeah. Cure the consumption. I'm trying to do the opposite of what we did with our bombing rate over Hiroshima and Nagasaki. You're going to undo Pearl Harbor one Gucci jacket at a time. Yeah.

Yeah. Are you going to reverse that damage by shopping? I'm going to drop a nuclear bomb on my wallet. Oh, okay. Okay. I'm going to nuke. You're going to have to buy a lot of stuff to make up for that damage. I know.

Listen. Listen, all the families that were affected are going to get a little piece of mind. spree. I mean, you're going to have to pretty much buy Tokyo as a whole. I hear it's on sale. Yeah. Not bad. I hear it's one of the most flammable cities, though.

Oh, that place could go up in flames immediately. That they had more... So bombable. More... It's bombable and flammable, though. They had wildfires that took out the city in a worse way than the atomic bombs did. Really? Yeah, they were destroyed by wildflowers.

and when was this just rampant flower flower flower invasive wildflowers popping up up through the have you done any like Japan like like research on your way out there do you listen to like history of Japan before you go or you're just going and you're going to learn

I'm fortunate to be traveling with two pretty well researched guys one of whom has been there before so he's going to break it all down for you I swear you went to Japan last year and I really

feel like it's like an inside joke that you didn't. He did. But I swear, I thought you went like five years ago. Two years ago. And you've never been. Is that two years ago? Yeah, it was two years at this point. Was New Zealand last year?

Was New Zealand? It was before I had my jits. Yeah, yeah. I didn't even have my jits yet. So where did you go last year? New Zealand. That's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, I think it must be.

That has to hear. It was Japan. Isn't it weird how time doesn't really seem to exist on this podcast. And everything else it does. But like, I couldn't trace a conversation we had a week ago against two years ago. No, not at all. If you told me Ron

went to Japan two months ago, I would have believed you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember that. Are you going to slurp some ramen while you're out there? Are you concerned that, like, when you really slurp the shit out of ramen, it kind of, like, crackles all over you. Like, it's a messy thing to eat. It'll get on your laptop.

Well, maybe I'll wear my plain clothing to our rough. A plane. A plane. closed police officer. To our ramen stop. Are you going to go to one of those solo solo romans? Yeah, the booth? Yeah, that's my dream.

Eat in shame. I'd love to go to one of those. I'd like to go to one of those on like a football Sunday and just sit there and just eat ramen and just watch football on my phone. That's their culture. Yeah. Sounds awesome. A lot of restaurants are just dudes fucking hunched as fuck,

fully curled up like a shrimp just looking at a phone screen. It's a slurp food. Yeah. Just ripping ramen all day. Rahman would be such a better, like, football day food than, like, pizza or wings or burgers. I kind of agree. Something you can graze on. Something you can graze on and then not feel fucking terrible after.

I would like to watch particularly a Lions game in Japan. Really? So I can watch my favorite player. Who? Amman St. Raman St. Brown. Raman Rahn, St. Brown?

Raman Raw, St. Brown. Amman Rah. St. Raman. Ammon Raman, St. Ramen. St. Ramen. That would be awesome. He's not from, he's not Japanese. Oh, no. He's black and white. Yeah. And his dad is always talking about it. Have you ever heard his dad talk about it? No. I've seen the, I remember in Hard Knocks when his dad was featured. He was a funny guys. It's like a world bodybuilder. And his name is just Brown. And then he added the saint. He just like spruced up his last name. Nice. His name's like John Brown.

There's a lot of guys that are doing that. I've noticed Jane. James Cook is now James Cook the third. That's pretty sweet. He hasn't been James Cook the third for the last five years. Some of these guys will do that. Or they'll go back to their like Nigerian name. Like James Owe is now O'Dafe Oway. Oh, I like that.

I might add a saint before my first name. St. Francis. St. Francis Ellis. That's great. Or what about both? Are you a descendant? Yes. Found out.

St. Francis Ellis does sound like a receiver that would put up 10 receptions 150. But his dad was in an interview, he was like, you can only cut it once because he has a white wife. And he's like, and he's a dark skin black guy. And he's like, you can only cut it once to keep the athleticism. If you step on it twice, basically like if you mix twice, you're going to lose all that, all that balance, all that athleticism.

His dad said that very famous that you can only cut it once. So I'm on Rockin, has to marry or make children with a black. lady. I think, I think so. That's what his father's saying. I think so. Particularly a dark skin black lady. Interesting. Yeah. Is he? I don't think he has. You know, I'm not sure that he has. I'm not sure he has either. Tyler, can you do me the kindness of looking at him? Kind of want to say, I think he might have a white girlfriend. I think that his dad might have been like, yeah, you're screwed. Yeah. Your kid's not going to make that. There are athletic white women. Yes, that's true. Yeah. There are, bro. Yeah. What do you mean? Sure, there are.

What about CC, bro? What about Caitlin Clark? Don't put smart on Kaylin Clark's a fluke. She's a miracle. She's an albino black woman. Is that his lady? I think so. Well, it looks like he's fulfilling his father's wishes.

No, I don't know. To an extent. To an extent. You know. It could always be darker. I don't know if this is deep waters. I don't know. The conversation we were met that.

Well, I mean, we're just carrying on his father's conversation. That's his father's conversation. Yeah, it's not my opinions. This is dad's legacy. I think Amun Ra should be able to date whoever he wants to date. He's literally one of the best wide receivers in the NFL. I think this. Probably, probably my go-to guy on third and long.

I'm going to JSN. Really? I can't knock that. Can't knock that. Guys, the truth. The Japanese say the same thing. They're like, you can't step on it if you want to make a good samurai. Exactly.

You got to have a samurai. blood. All pure. Top to bottom. Yep. No white men. My family said you can't step on it if you want your inheritance. So. You can step on it all you like.

You all be welcome back in this house. You know, different stakes, I guess. Are you going to see any kabuki theater while you're out there? Kabuki Young White? I don't know. I want to see Dude, I'm lost on like Truly lost in what is AI and what isn't

I've been seeing these theater Shows in Japan where it's like Street Fighter scenes But real Like they reenact a street fighter fight And throw someone through the wall of a You know a fake wall basically But I don't know if that's real

Wait is this like in a movie? No it's like in a movie? No, it's live theater. Oh, okay. Two actors, there's people in the audience, and there's two people fighting on stage. It's choreographed. But it's, you know, they are dressed as like real street fighter characters or something. Yeah.

And I don't know. It looks so realistic that I just honestly have no idea if it's AI or not. Yeah, it's tough. Usually if it sounds too good to be true, it is. The sad, for me, for the AI videos, it's always the sound. Yes, I agree too with that. The voices usually don't line up right and they also always... It's like a flatness to the sound.

Yeah, they're very flat. There's no like atmospheric addition. Yeah. It's like clearly like generated voice. I think I got dup for a day or two by that guy with the triangle haircut, the like boxer guy with no chin. Oh really? Yeah. That's tough.

Yeah, that's tough. Definitely AI. I just don't think I thought about it that much. Yikes. I wasn't like subscribing to his crypto. Yeah. They're using AI for scams now, too. I keep on getting voicemails from no caller ID.

And they're like, hey, call me back when you get a chance. And a lot of times it happens. How do I call back a no caller ID number? Explain that. They'll try to be like, you had jury duty. You missed it. You owe $4,000. Exactly.

It's the new one that they're trying to hit you with. Don't pay that. Don't pay that. If they try to hit you with that, don't pay that. And Francis, no graffiti while you're in Japan. They take that very seriously. I'm excited to know that there will not be any. Well, there might be some.

But you can rest assured that whoever did it is serving five years. Yeah. Five to ten. Right. Five to ten, five hundred thousand yen fine. Good. Or 300,000 yen? What's the conversion rate looking like?

I think. How many yen equals one true U.S. dollar? It's like 300 or something? Whoa. Can we go the other way? 157. equals not even a dollar is 157 yen. Yikes.

That's a pain in the ass. 157 yen. But you're traveling. That means you're going to get the bill. It's going to be 30,000. Tyler, will you see that chart on the right? We go to five years, please.

So right now is just about the best that the conversion I think has ever. Go max. Yeah, let's see it all. Yeah. This is the best it's ever been. Oh, so the yen's in hell. Or in a long, long time. I think in the last like 25 years.

For the last like two years, everyone's been saying that, but that's because it literally has been trending better for the dollar against the yen. So that's why I'm going to be buying a lot of things. But if you buy stock in Japan, now would be a good time to do it before Francis gets there and completely stimulates the economy. You're going to dump so much money into that place that the yen is going to plummet. Yes. It's actually true.

Is there a way to invest in another country's currency? Yeah. Really? It's called foreign exchange. Oh, okay. So just go to like the bank? You can trade currencies basically, yeah. Should I just go to the bank with just a bunch of cash?

I want it all in yen. And then I'm going to put it under my bed for 10 years. I'll be back here in 10 years. I think you can go to a lot of money. Currency exchanges and you can lock in your conversion rate now for a nominal fee for when you get back from Japan. in case the yen goes to a crazy place and you're like, well, I went there like three weeks ago, yen was at this and now the yen is at a crazy different spot. But then that also will stop you from profiting.

If yen is to skyrocket. Yeah. If yen is to hit, say, 300. Yeah, yen to 300. Like these crypto guys, like Bitcoin to 100K. The end of 300, please, God. We've got to get it to 300. Are you very excited about this?

I am. I am truly... Is it tomorrow? I leave tomorrow. I'm anticipating it like it's my own. 4 p.m. 1.20 p.m. I don't know where I heard 4 from.

You wished it. I thought it was 4. But I remember you saying it was a weird flight, like it was like in the middle of the day. Yeah. Yeah. Four is the amount of picks that Drake May has. I land at 4 p.m.

That's what got you. I knew I had it somewhere. You did. Yeah. Nice. Well, so you're going to land and you're going to go straight to the store. No, I'm going to go to my home.

hotel. Yeah. And you're going to buy something at the hotel store? Yeah. I think so. At the gift shop in the lobby? Buy the bathrobe. Yeah. I mean, they usually have a lot of stuff there. I'm stoked. I'm wondering about, Roan, can you lend any sort of color on this? I'm sure I could as well. Yellow. Great. That was my question. What are they? No, my question would be like, and I don't even know, let's just say hypothetically, can an American guy have a flirtatious conversation with a Japanese civilian woman? Brother, you're going to be the hottest currency there. No, I don't think, I think they're unbelievably shy.

No, no, no, no. You're going to be coming home without your nuts. No, you're going to. Government's going to take them? I'm talking, yeah, like, I don't want to. They're going to love you. Well, but how are we going to talk and is it customary? Google Translate, bro.

Show them to Google Translate. Is it bow a lot? You want to translate your words. Just put a little, uh, at the end of it. Yeah. Haya no. And they'll know exactly what you're talking about. Podcast, uh.

Unicloa. Yeah. Hey, do you know where they closest to unicloa is? It is. They're English. I think that you, if you put yourself out there, if you like introduce yourself, they might be like, you know, verclympt over it. They might like giggle. They might not believe what they're seeing, but they're going to love it and they're going to love how polite you are, how good your social graces are, how much you bow. They're into all that shit. But dude, it's funny. You say that. I bet you that my love,

of politeness is just their baseline. Probably, but you'll enjoy ramping it up. For example, if somebody hands you like something, you take it with both hands with like a little bit of a bow. Taking you in a credit card, even your change, you take it with both hands. Like I'm a beggar. Yes.

Yeah. You know, you're supposed to bow quite deep. Yeah. Like pretty much like head to the ground. Harry's right. All the way down. Down the lower you go is the more respect that is shown. I see.

Yeah. Okay, well, I better start working on my hamstring. I would, yeah. Because that flight might be a nightmare for you. I think it's going to be awesome. You think? That's the part of the trip I'm most excited for. The flight.

I don't want to get off the plane. Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. Japan Air business class. Are you out of your fucking mind? Are you going to send us like a bunch of photos and stuff? If you want me to. Obviously, I want you to.

I don't think you do. I want you to flood me with photos. That's a shocking thing. I don't give a fuck about Japan. I'm talking about the plane. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Don't send me any. photos from Japan. Absolutely. Fair enough. Totally fair. I want you to do a solo podcast. Yeah, you too. Maybe one from the plane. One from the plane. It would be great. Thoughts from the plane. I could do it.

That'd be so nice. I don't want to put you to work on the flight. What do you mean? No, no. I wouldn't do it on the plane. The audio would be fucked. But I liked doing it in New Zealand. Someone asked me to one person was like, hey, we'd love to. I asked you too as well. Maybe two people. I don't see any reason why not to do a little bonus epi. People would love that. And I would be super.

into it. Do you know what neighborhoods you're going to? I think you'd be able to find love in Shibuya or Shenzuku. Let's look here. My hotel is in... Someone pour me up another shot of sake. Someone pour me up another shot of Thursday football. It's Thursday night. Is he singing that now? We don't let them know. Is that Shaboozy now? Yeah. I didn't know that.

second biggest song. It really is. People decide. They're like, he has dreads. Like, they decided that he was going to be, he was going to make it. He's the face of the NFL now. He's the face of country music too. You've never heard that on Thursday night?

It's Thursday night. We're going to let them know. I think I've been getting there a little bit too late. Oh, they're playing that for the first hour of the game. Chuo City? Turo. It's near the, it's near the, right in the middle of the downtown by the palace. Very close to the palace and the train, very close to the train station.

Do you take the train a lot there? I think the subway or what, yeah, presumably, yeah. You're going to be packed on that thing. I kept it to the Uber's. I really wasn't trying to get lost in a labyrinth. Yeah, especially because those things. Like, it's not like here when you're like, oh, no, I was supposed to get off at 28th and I got off at 14th. You're like, oh, shit, I'm in Russia.

Bullet train It was just five minutes I'm in Moscow I'm in the 1950s How did I Time travel Yeah those trains Are gonna be fast

Damn Better bring some drama I'm in Tell us more about your About your planning You have to I know that you plan the fuck I know that there's not a minute

That's not accounted for Okay I'll give you guys Give us the it It can we live vicariously One time But um God damn Why don't you guys

talk for a second between yourselves so that I can find this because it might take me a second. I already told Francis about this, but you can pay for people's companionship. Oh, yeah. Man or woman. I don't want to do that. Why don't you get a translator? Or a trans person.

I just watched the Tetris movie. Oh. Actually, I started watching that and it seemed decent. It's pretty good. I wish that I had watched it. It's aite. It is the parts where they go to Russia and they're like, they go to the company that like that like licenses out Tetris and they're like he's like I'm

with Nintendo or like I work with Nintendo and the guy's like what's Nintendo because they live because they're in the Soviet Union they don't know got it got it I don't know why I was thinking the Tetris movie is like the Lego movie it was like made by the brand Tetris and money grab and all the characters are Tetris pieces yeah now that would be fun too but no it's about just like how Tetris became so big and popular I knew this motherfucker had a color-coded itinerary. I didn't make this. My friends are really good.

They're incredible. Wednesday we arrive. We're going to go to Sowato for dinner at 8 p.m. And then we're probably going to hit Bar High Five later. Any of this ringing any bells? Nope. That sounds amazing. I guarantee that at Bar High Five, there's a guy with like katana blade that

shaves the ice down to the perfect cubes or some shit. I know that guy. I want to go see that guy. I do want to see that guy. But I think that guy is now so popular that it's impossible to get into that bar. Yeah. I'm surprised there aren't knockoffs, though, of other failed samurai who are now. Acting or barbacks.

Thursday, we're going to go to Sukiji Market and wander around and eat some stuff. Then we're going to Ginza Hachigoo for ramen. That's on for lunch. then we're going to be we're going to go to Little Smith and then sushi you for dinner that's a big one that's like our big oh omikaze and then Ben Fidditch Shunjuku bar which is like a big whiskey bar where they'll have whiskeys we've never even heard

ever seen before damn so you're going to get shit face yeah every night yeah that's sick mm-hmm um it's their culture yeah this is we're going to do pizza or 400 degrees pizza.

It's supposed to be the best in the world. On the next day. Do you know that one? I think so. That's the one that's like impossible or it's like tough to get a reservation is at the top of a hotel or something? That sounds right.

What did Dave give it? That's, I think someone came on. 9.5. Yeah, but what's that in yen? Yeah. At 5 p.m. We're going to a vintage eyewear and watches store called Solaxada.

Then we have Izzykaya, Narukiyo, forgive my butchery pronunciations, an SG club maybe for nighttime. Then Saturday, Kaitan sushi, Onadera Haunted, or PST pizza. That's the sushi conveyor belt. Love some options like that. Yeah. Great itinerary. G-Cube for dinner.

And then we're doing this really cool sake tasting thing at a place called 12. which was cool. I had to work hard to get that one. 12. You have to be invited to go. Oh, I think you told us about that. That's the one I sorted for us. How did you get the invitation? A friend of mine has gone, knows the Booker got me sorted, you know, good guys.

How long are you doing? It's just an hour and a half. It seems like there's not a minute that's not spoken for in that itiner. No, no, you guys are jammed that. That's airtight. Yeah. That's airtight. What if you get tired?

Or what if you want to wander? Yeah. I think there is time built in for wandering. Free time. I think the question I'm going to have is when am I supposed to lift? Or when are you supposed to find love? Or when you're supposed to hit the oncent to bathe in front of an 80-year-old naked dude? Right.

Are you going to be naked in front of Japanese people at all? I hope so. There's pretty much no time for fucking on that itinerary. So when are you planning? When are you planning on? fucking Japanese women. You're going to have to fuck in the plane. Yeah.

That's the only option. You're going to have to close your drapes on the plane. They have an itinerary for the plane to sleep. Fast, fast nine. Stretches about 30 minutes after takeoff. Watch Godzilla. Watch Pearl Harbor. Get both sides of the story.

They probably don't got that on the flight. Like Godzilla? That would be hilarious. Yeah, they catch them watching Godzilla and like tape is it fucking on. They're taking to the seat to arrest them when they land. You should bring it on your phone, download it on your phone, and then show all the Japanese when you're there. Like you guys have probably never seen this, have you? No, they have like a Godzilla fucking district.

Oh, really? I have to say these Godzilla. theme. They have like a huge, they have like a 10 story Godzilla. Really? Somewhere. Is the original Godzilla, the one that from, you know, black and white many, many years ago in that one, was Godzilla also not the bad guy? Or did he just come through and destroy the city? I was under the assumption that Godzilla was like, didn't know how big he was and was just breaking everything on accident.

just a bull in a Japan shop I've never seen Godzilla though Well when they've done He's a clumsy guy Yeah all these modern remakes He's he's protecting the world and people From other massive monsters King Kong

That was pretty good one But King Kong also right was kind of like a good guy Yeah Yeah great guy Yeah he was King Kong He was like trying to escape He was like a zoo exhibit That was like

I don't know where he'd be escape escaping too. They brought him back to be featured on Broadway. He hated it. He hated acting. He hated the hours. Yeah. He's like, I'm a film actor. And the pay wasn't great either. He's like the union doesn't do anything to protect me.

My green room sucks. No bananas. None of these bananas are right. I just want bananas. All I'm asking for is some goddamn bananas. They keep bringing me plantains. fucking Godzilla well that's gonna be fun

I'm jealous of your of your trip it sounds fun yeah thanks I'm deeply jealous very excited for it I have pretty much nothing looking forward to

but it's all right I'll be in Lexington Kentucky soon oh boy I remember when I had that booked doesn't feel like a relief that's kind of like Japan the Japan

of Kentucky probably. It honestly probably is. Yeah, definitely. That's going to be fine. I'm trying to think of, is that where the University of Kentucky is? It is, right? I have no idea. I'm pretty sure it is. Yeah, they call it Kentucky. Oh, shit. It is, right? Do they really?

Kentucky. Yeah. Yeah, I thought that it was like kind of nicer than I expected when I got there. Strictest weed laws in the Union, though. Really? Yeah, in Lexington? In Kentucky in general. Really? Yeah. What do they do? Go chop their handoff. Five years. It's like doing

graffiti in Japan. Damn. Is it actually like that? It's all to cancel. Because you know I'm bringing a pound. You know I'm coming to Lexington with a pound. You're happy. Yeah.

That's typically how I travel. Just with a pound on me. Just rolling up as soon as the plane touches down. Just putting down the tray table. In case you have to barter? No, no. Just that's how much I plan on smoking. Wow.

This weekend, on Friday, I got bored. And I, have I told you guys a while ago. about my idea for an app, right? About the getting there the fastest way possible. Right? How about no? Nothing? Not ringing any bells.

Let's put it this way. Whenever you think you've said something, you haven't. No, I think I have. You have not said it before. No, I think I actually have. I told you about I wanted to build a GPS app. I wanted there to be a GPS app that would get you somewhere the fastest possible way. Combining, say, trains, bikes, cars, ubers, etc.

Okay. I've not explained this to you. You have, you have. And I think that we talked about that it's just, that's, it's like not that different from the other. That's what you guys claim. Yeah, of course, that's what you claimed. Well, I made it. I created it.

It's done. You vibe coded it? I vibe coded it. Really? Yeah. What did you use? OpenClaw? No, I used Claude.

It was so easy. Really? It literally took me like an hour. Let me see it. Let me see the app. Well, it's not an app right now. Right now, it's just a website because I'm still, we're kind of in the process of expanding. I love that you're doing things.

What the fuck is it called? Wouldn't you like to know? It's got a great name. What is it? Unbelievable. What is it? ASAP. I love it.

I actually do quite like it. So like I'll get a solid, like, where I'll do the office from here. From here to Lexington. Where do you have to? Well, no, it only works in New York right now, which is a little bit of a problem. But say, Francis, you're flying out of where? JFK, I'm assuming. Yep.

It's going to just say Uber. It's all good. That's all good. Yeah, the fastest way to get anywhere is always just the driver. Boy, am I glad I checked ASAP? It kind of has a cool looking interface. It does, doesn't it? Dude, also, that's a clean interface.

Hang on. I don't believe that. What? I don't believe that Uber is the fastest way for me to get to JFK. What do you think it is, the train? I think that from right where we are right now, the fastest way for me to get to JFK would be to walk to Penn Station. get on the train to Jamaica, get on the air train, sky train, or the air train.

Yeah. Yeah, it might not have that in the... Let me put it into my ASAP because I might have a different algorithm. It might not have one of like the three key ways to get to JFK. Brother, it's not a complete product right now. We're still very early in the stages. Then why are you showing it to us? Because it's it, it, so it pretty much never works.

I would say like 95% of it. of the time it doesn't work. There it is. How many times are you used it? You're not going to be able to find it. I'm the only one that can access it. It will work one out of 20 times? No.

But I was testing it a lot on Friday to see which way it would be like the fastest. And there was one scenario where from my apartment to the stand, it did beat Apple Maps and Google Maps by 10 minutes. Wow. And it had me doing like some crazy route where it was like bike to this train station and then take this train. and then Uber from that train station to there. It's going to have to get very detailed on a level of aggressive biking. That's another thing that we're working on. If you're willing to bike it like a breakneck life-threatening pace,

doing certain legs on a bike versus. The city bike versus electric city bike too. Oh, of course. Of course. That's why I have a, it's really, it's actually insane. It live pulls the data from the city bike dock, so it tells you how many city bikes are available. What did you put into your vibe code prompt? Don't worry about it.

I'm not going to give you my prompt. That's my intellectual property. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Not until you patent that bitch. I'm taking ASAP and the fucking, I'm taking the name and the secret sauce. You're not taking my prompt. You have no idea how we operate.

We're working fully off of Python. I think I could imagine it. No, but it is really easy to do, and it really was not hard at all. It said it was going to take me six months to a year, and then I did it in like an hour. Cool. It is interesting because I am like not, obviously I've been very vocal about being anti-AI. That is one of the uses that's pretty cool. It really like, I mean, I don't think I'm ever actually going to do anything with this.

I just wanted to do it for fun. Don't say that. That's stupid to say. Well, I mean, obviously I'm going to try to sell it to Google or Apple, make it a feature on their maps. already. For a billion. Yeah. But that's, you know, whatever we can get into that another time. But it is, like, it really does, like, completely kill, like, the skill gap of coding. Like, anyone can do that. Like, anyone, if you have, like, an actual idea for something, like, anyone can make it now. Which is how it should be. I suppose. I suppose, like, maybe. Maybe not. Why? I don't know.

Why should only certain people be allowed to code? Because, like, it's one of those, I, I feel like you could kind of make the same argument for, like, the general. generative AI shit of like... But that's like being like the only people who could, should be able to eat meat or hunters. Well, I mean, that's a pretty extreme version of that. I wanted to just slippery slope the hell out of your argument. I want to straw man you to death. But don't you think like, because like people make the arguments about like, well, now everyone

has this like capability of making deep fakes with generative AI. But it's like people already had that ability before. It was just you had to know how to do it, which would mean you. You'd have to be, like, very good at editing and, like, After Effects and all that shit. I think it evens out the playing field. I guess it even. I would, yeah, it even, it evens out the playing fields. Jay Will, you out of here, brother?

Appreciate you, Jay Will. What, you weren't like in the ASAP talk? I gotta go. Whatever, man. Would you say, would you buy in on his app? You want to invest? Absolutely. That sounds good, right?

I have that same sweatshirt, but in brown. Never seen the blue. What side do you work? Large. They left. Oh, hell yeah That would be awesome Yeah

I would love that Sweatshirt off his back Yeah I'm assuming he's gonna get me one He's a Nike red Well not when he sees those Fucking shoes you got on The Samba's trust me

I don't want to be wearing them either I hate these shoes You've had those since we went to Cleveland Yeah I know but that's why I had to wear him Because my fucking Stan Smiths are like They have holes in them I will say

I was walking around yesterday My right foot is soft To your credit, you will beat the absolute shit out of a piece of clothing until you have to throw it away. Yeah. And you do so very reluctantly. Yeah. Until it's trash.

So I got to get some new Stan Smiths and I got to wear these fucking gay ass shoes in the meantime. Don't have to wear any shoes, bro. Like you can wear whatever shoes you want. I don't have other shoes to wear. What am I going to wear my fucking hiking boots? They're the most acquirable asset on planet Earth like now. Stan Smiths?

Any type of shoe you can walk outside and get fucking them on 34 street. Or you can order them immediately. What were we looking for the white bottoms, right? You wanted the white shoe. Yeah. With gumsole, I think. I don't think I wanted the gumsole. I just feel like these shoes make me look like I'm like a ballerina.

They're like so like perfectly fit to my foot. I don't think they look so bad. They look great. Like I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. They make my feet look tiny. You have tiny feet. Like I have little tic tacks for feet. You have stilts.

That's what it looks like. It's fine. You look like a little ballerina on point. It's fine, though. Like, I feel like I would be like hard to capture with these shoes on. You wouldn't be able to get a hold of me because I'd just slip right out. You probably don't even use footprints. You probably don't even cast a shadow in those shoes. You're just so light and dainty. They're nice. They're stylish. And they have a nice silhouette. Now, these shoes suck. But whatever. What can you do? Asap's going to feed us all soon. Well, me and Francis are in on ASAP, right? Like, as founders.

Absolutely not. Why? No. All. All you two have done is bring Asab down, try to kill the brand. That's not what? Yeah. We're poking holes in it because we want it to float. I know you're saying it's the same thing as Google Maps when Claude actually said it's not even close to the same as Google Maps. We're trying to differentiate it. Our IP is ironclad.

Well, of course, that's what Claude would say. Claude made it. I actually fact-checked this with Claude and Claude said you're both wrong. Claude is going to affirm everything you say. Claude's going to agree with you if you say fucking the sky is black and Hitler is good. Claude has a feature on it, which I did not use, called computer use. And if you download the actual Claude app to your computer and then you set it to computer use, it will just take over your computer.

So it can just do anything. Like there's a lot of stuff that I had to do for this, right, to get the data and then upload it to Claude. And then Claude would put the data into the code and all that. But there is a way where you could just tell them the idea and then it'll just do everything because it has full access to the internet from your computer. I guarantee that Francis can introduce you to somebody that. will pour gas on this thing and turn this into a fucking unit a decicorn but like you you don't want

that why he would do that for you for a small percentage but you're more concerned with owning everything yes instead of giving like a just well technically Dave owns it but I was going to say I can introduce you to Dave that that would be my first stop technically me and Dave are co-founders Did it happen on a work computer? Because if so, he's 100%. I had to go to an underground bunker in order for this to maintain my property. That's why you were building a...

Do a dial-up internet. I wrote the code on pen and paper. Yeah, I wrote the code on the typewriter. I fucked up. Yeah, technically it's me, Dave, and Austin are kind of going three ways on it. That means there's a percentage for me and Francis. Yeah. If we just get you in front of the right guy.

Definitely. I think I'm going to try to have ASAP be a presenting sponsor of Bush. That would be a great way to just kind of keep the money circulating. Keep it in half. Yeah. Pays for itself. But I mean, I think if I'm able to get it to a point where it's really accurate, I think there's a lot of potential here because we are working on adding running into the software.

Oh, cool. Where it'll be like get out of the car and you got to start running. Oh. Yeah. Like the traffic got was unexpected We didn't expect this you got to get out And you got to start you got to move You gotta run at a at a blank pace

You know where I could see this Cendell in succession you know when he's running through the The Holland Tunnel Yeah Late for the meeting like that You know where I could see this having a really good use case Is if in theory you were late for a flight or something That's what it's for

Just hold on Let Francis talk And you wanted to know Is it even worth me going to the airport or will I miss the flight? And they were like, okay, you got to do this, then you got to get out and run, then you're going to do this and you're going to have to run through the terminal. And if you do that based on where the gate is and what security is like at this moment,

you might make it. You have a 70% chance of it. Love that. You just got yourself a percentage. Thank you. That's all it takes. 1% for Francis. So if you incorporate like what security clearance you have.

No. I think I deserve a percent. No, I don't like that idea. If you go through it clear or... No, we don't want to work with it. I think I probably just earned a percent with it. The way that it's going to work, though, for the running is it's only going to tell you to run if it will save you time. Because you don't want to just have to be getting all sweaty for nothing.

no reason. What if it's like two mile pace, four mile pace, six mile pace. Well, the way that run will work, because walking is currently set to walking is three miles per hour. Running would be set to five miles per hour. But it would only kick into telling you to run if it's like there's a train that you could make if you are to run rather than walk. Oh, that's a special feature. Because it's not going to tell you to run to the train if you would have been able to make that train by walking. Like that's just going to get you sweaty for no reason, which is not at all what ASAP's trying to achieve. Is there?

What's your monetization plan? We want sweat for a reason. Are you going to charge a subscription or membership? Are you just going to advertise on the... Oh, no. We're fully, we're a fully free nonprofit. We're our main way of making money is selling data and surveillance. We're going to be selling your every move.

Oh, so this is a teal play. Yeah, exactly. Teal's a big part of this. Oh my God. I watched a movie last night called... No, this is so weird. I watched a movie last night called... Disconnect. Terrible movie.

Produced by Peter Thiel and Elon Musk. Isn't that weird? Coming up in the credits, executive producer Peter Thiel. Whoa. Flashbang? Who's the star of that? Alexander Scarsguard. 7.5 on IMD's pretty good, dude.

I hated it. Well, I didn't even finish it. It was really dark. The kid, like, kills himself. It's really graphic. Hated it. I'm not into that kind of thing. That sucks. Bad vibrations, low vibration content.

Yeah, really bad vibrations. I don't want to see like kids like hanging from the rafters. And is it a commentary on technology? It is, yeah. Beat it. I'm not getting a commentary on technology from the two main guys pumping technology down my throat so they can clear their conscience. Yeah. Well, we made disconnect. Yeah, you do have to plug your arm in to be able to breathe. that's like exactly what it is. It's like them warning against like the dangers of social media and stuff.

Does it stem from that case where the girl told that guy he should kill himself and then he did and then the family sued her or something? No. I can see where you get that but no, it's not very similar. I appreciate you trying to put yourself in my shoes, even though they're way too big for you. You're a business partner of mine now. Yeah, now I'm the outsider. Yeah. You guys are in bed together. I mean, we got, we're booked. We have meetings today.

Yeah, we do. A lot of investors. I'm a meeting guy now. Why do you think he's going to Japan? He's going to sell it like, trying to sell it to Nintendo. Like Nike. Like shoe dog. He's got a Nintendo connect. He's just going to be walking into factories with a briefcase. And a gift for each business person. Yeah, yeah. Well, now it's going to be my life's work to sabotage your company.

I'm going to be like Eduardo Savarin. You never will. I'd be curious. I'd be curious about whether, you know how they say that businessmen get so drunk that they fall asleep on park benches and people like give them a blanket or something like that? I wonder if that would apply to a white tourist. I don't think so. I was going to say that. If I were in a suit.

Yeah, I was going to say that earlier that you should get like super hammered and fall asleep on the street. But I don't think, I think they'll probably kill you. No, they won't. They'll just pull you off the street. If I'm wearing a suit. and they're going to say you come to our country and disrespect our country. They're not going to do that. No, no.

They're not going to do that at all. I just had a lot of whiskey. And they want you to. They want you to get drunk and have a good time. Yeah. That's just such an American mindset. It's so fucking, so close-minded. They're not going to beat you up or rob you.

They're going to respect you because they're respectful. Well, the closest he's ever been to Japan is Wyoming. I think New York is closer than Wyoming. You're probably right. Actually, probably. I have no idea. Definitely. Am I going east? I think I might be going east. I thought you were. You're going to the east, but you're going west. You're going so far west that it becomes east. Well, if you were to fly from California, would you go west or would you go over America? I suspect you'd go west from California. I mean...

That's what I would assume as well, Brown. I think you go over the top of like Alaska. Yeah, you do go, you go way up north. I mean, that's why on the way home I'm stopping. in Minneapolis. You go east by northwest, I'm pretty sure. Interesting. Is that so that they can be near land? No, I think it's slingshots you.

The shortest route. I think it's like a NASCAR move that when you go around that part, it just kind of like yon, it's like riding the edge. It's like that guy that did that. It's like, I'm just going to hit the gas and just. I'm either going to see a checker flag or Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Tyler, will you look and see a flight from California to Tokyo, like what that, how that does it?

All right. So the last thing I'll say about ASAP, but picture this. Another idea that I had to getting into it was airlines flying. Oh. But. Final. Why didn't you start with this? But it's very risky and no airlines would be on board with this. And there is a massive risk of like you wouldn't have like your flights really insured. but I'm thinking about breaking the barrier of the one airline layover.

Maybe there's a faster way. Maybe you fly to Chicago and you fly there on United, but you've got to get to California. Next flight to California is not until 5 p.m. You're there. It's 3 p.m. But what if there's a flight from Delta at 3.30? Oh, you're saying switch airlines.

Yeah. For that, I think, well, doesn't kind of. You can sleep on it. Kayak already does it. Like hacker fares. Looks like the futures for ASAP is rocky. Whoa. Hold the phone.

Hold the phone. Is that true? Does Kayak do that? I think so. I feel like Klob would have let me know. But remember, here's the problem with that plan is that if you check a bag, they won't pass it through for you. Well, you would have to go back and claim in a baggage claim. And then nobody wants to do that.

But if it's faster. But like if the idea is that you take a four-hour layover. okay well i mean how much think of how much time it would take we don't want to be held accountable for that though to exactly this is not to be used by people in their third trimester um if there are if you're trying to save time on like a four hour layover and cut it down to a one hour layover then you have to think about how much time it would take to exit get your bag switch to a turn another terminal possibly, recheck in, check your bag, go through security again and get to that gate. All of that, that puts it, that's a, it's tough to put a premium on that. And for that reason,

he's out. Well, he hasn't said that yet, so let's go easy. But I think realistically, it would only like, like, I feel like there's been like maybe like one or two times where I could have done it. And it would have saved me time. Yeah, maybe. Who knows? I had that flight remember to, Oregon. Yeah. Went out there to, that was last October, to band in dunes and, uh, right after Japan. Correct. I flew home from Japan via Oregon. Yeah. Well, I was flying and I flew to Denver on Delta. And then I flew on United from Denver to, to bend Oregon. And do you remember that I had a first class seat on the way out? And I was at the gate. Oh yeah. But I hadn't changed. But I had checked in. Yeah. But I was sitting there and they took it away from me. Yeah. By the way,

that flight credit just expired. Oh, that's the worst. It gave me, they gave me a thousand dollars of flight credit and they didn't tell me and I didn't see it. Yeah. And I called them and I was like, can I extend this use, please? And they were like, no, not only can you not extend this use, but this is a case where this expires in a week and it doesn't even matter if you buy your flights now and then use them like you have to fly both the flights before the end of the week. Really? Yeah. That's bullshit.

Yeah, I know. That wouldn't happen on ASAP. It wouldn't happen on Delta. Wouldn't happen on Delta, which is why ASAP is going to try to partner with Delta. We're going to try to make that happen. Specifically. Specifically with Delta. But that's kind of counterintuitive because it's going to prioritize Delta flights, but it will still be open.

But like what if Frontier is the fastest? Then it'll tell you Frontier. trick question frontier has has already folded just admit that we've got we've got a piece of the future here it is you're always looking for that next app that's just going to make things more convenient in a way you didn't expect them to be more convenient this will have to run extremely well for it to actually be like beneficial to anybody and they will have to be very accurate which is really difficult especially for a problem vibe coder. Yeah. Well, let's not shame vibe coders. I'm just saying, I don't think that you're going to put in the requisite time for this. I don't think I needed to, though. I think the idea is already done. Now I just need the investors. You need a workhorse. I need meetings. I need to have a partner that's going to be a workhorse. Do you think my comedy agent would be surprised if I called him and I was like, I need you to get me meetings in Silicon Valley? I know this is a little bit off of what we're typically used to, but I'm going to Cal. I'm going to Cal.

I think you would buy it. I want teal. Bring me teal. Do you still rep teal? Walking in in the bathrobe. That would be great. I don't think you could pull it off though. I could for sure.

They would see you dress normal and they'd be like, oh, he's trying to dress shlovy to neg us. Yeah, yeah. And you'd be like, no, this is my best. This is actually how I am. These are my church clothes. Yeah. This is my true Sunday best. All righty, folks.

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Cash App Green features, savings, direct deposit, roundups, overdraft coverage and discounts provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Visit cash.com.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Fellas, I was in North Carolina or South Carolina this weekend, and it was one of those weekends that it was the drunkest I've been in five years. Oh, it was, it was just. Sounds like every weekend from.

me. Yeah. Yeah. I was France's, it was Japan's as drunk. It was as drunk as you're going to be. There were Japanese people in South Carolina, like leaving money by me as I was passed out outside. We hit the welcome dinner and the welcome dinner is obviously the trap that everybody falls into on a wedding weekend because you just are, you're going to rev the engine too hard and you're going to blow a gasket. This is your first wedding post-children? No, but it's the last wedding of my wife's friends so everybody turned up and showed out and the girls all went to bed because they had to have a time but we had a pre-ceremony drinks afterwards and then we hit the town and i think charleston's main street is one of the best main streets in the continental united states i've

never been king street yeah it's a premo street a lot of talent what schools are out there live music u nc charleston oh cFC um just lots of really talk really nice bars, restaurants. It's just a fantastic main street. There's 17 women to every one man. Really? Mathematically. That's great.

It's insane. And the highest per capita of Michelin restaurants, and it's not like New Orleans where there's like somebody trying to sell you a fucking AK-47 filled with like slush drink or something like that. That's neon colored or something. It's nice and bespoke. And so I was a. obliterated by the time we even went out. And we went to three bars.

And the first bar that we went to, the guy handed me my ID. And just the weight of my ID started to knock me backwards. Oh, no. Someone had a guy in my group who was a male nurse had to like pick me up. Like usher me in. I tried to bring three drinks from that bar into the next bar. I was wearing a suit. And so this small lesbian bouncer came up to.

me and removed each one of the drinks, one from my suit pocket, one from my back pocket, one from my hand. She physically turned me around and just guided me right out of the door. And then the last bar I went to this guy was like, oh my God, Ron, it's my dream to freestyle with you. Oh, hell, yeah. And so I was like, I'm going to fucking make it happen, make this guy's dream come true. I couldn't say, like, I couldn't find two words to rhyme.

I couldn't even find a first sentence to start with. And I tried to start multiple times. He went, I tried to, like, jump back in. And no words would come out. And at the end, he was like, well, like, at least you're like a really good guy. And I didn't even black out. I just woke up to like that sentence being in my head. Did he get to spit some bars?

He got it. And he got his rocks off. He was doing great. Yeah, he was doing great. And I just was deeply embarrassing myself at every level. lost my ID, smoked a pack of cigarettes. Oh, fucking. Lost your ID.

Yeah, lost my driver. How'd you get home? I bring a passport with me. Oh, nice. In case of something like that. Damn, dude. I mean, it sounds fun. But I mean, I slept so much the next day that like I felt, I mean, I was hung over, but.

Was your wife in the wedding? She was in the wedding. So you had the room to yourself? The room to myself. That's awesome. That's awesome. Thank God. Just at the last second, got to the wedding.

at the actual time and was finally ready to go. But all the other fellows, all the other fellows were like, hey, like we're watching college football. Let's go and drink. I was in hell. How bad was it on Saturday for you? It was, I didn't think I was going to make it out.

I tried to go. Were throwing up? I wasn't throwing up, but one of the guys was like, only way is through, let's go, we got to hit the gym. So I went trying to hit the gym. Oh, wow.

Good for you, dude. It made it 10 times worse. Yeah. I was drinking an electrolyte beverage. That almost made me throw up. And the only food they had was like nuts. So I was just eating nuts in electrolyte beverages and fucking... Unsalted almonds don't do a great thing for soaking up the poison.

It was terrible. I needed like some pork belly and fries or something to soak it up. Yeah. Why didn't you get a little door dash going? I just... I wasn't fit to do anything except for go to the bathroom, lay back down in bed. Were you yukin or were you shitting? I was yukin.

Oh, no, shitting, shitting. No yuk. No yuk, just shit. I tried to force a yuk, but it wasn't, it wasn't coming up. Nothing worse than that. Being hungover, trying to throw up and you can't. I just felt so tightly packed. I just felt like a fucking sausage.

If I make the decision to throw up when I'm in that state, I won't stop forcing it until I do. Oh, I, I bail almost immediately. Because if you try to commit and you don't, you're in a way worse. Yeah, you feel way worse. Because you brought everything to the surface. Yeah. Yeah. I felt like me trying to throw up was trying to throw up was trying to.

to like ring water out of a wet sock it was just like just like the oh it's a terrible no that sounds like hell but it was i mean it was so much fun so did you get banged up on saturday too i got banged up proper not as banged up but uh shampoo you shampooed it yeah yeah yeah just a little bit just had like it like a frozen drink a little painkiller it was just a blast though nice love that time like the drink was called a painkiller yeah yeah yeah right did it kill the pain? I guess it kind of did. The wedding was across from a brewery. I just think Charleston is just such a charming area. You're the second, my buddy, my buddy told me he and his wife went down there for a wedding a couple weeks prior and also were like, we would move here. Yeah, it's so charming. I want to go down.

I think I want to go down and hang out with Craig Conover. Shit, brother. Because I think if he ran and he and I ran around together, we would wreak some havoc. Why don't we do Charleston week? I would love to. We stay on Sullivan Island or something like that. Go see downtown Charleston. That would be sick. Good fishing down there. Yeah. Right?

Fishing's dead, buddy. Why? You haven't been fishing since we all fished together. That's not true. You don't go fishing anymore. That was your temporary hobby. Now you're a vibe coder. Just fucking embrace it.

Like, people go through changes. Yeah, focus. You would have gone fishing this weekend if you were still a fisherman. I had shows this weekend. I couldn't. You could have gone in the morning. Why did you look at your Fitbit to do? confirm that you had shows this weekend

Force of habit. Because his biometrics were spiking because he's lying. My biometrics went up. Oh, yeah. I had to make sure. His heart rate went to 200 because he was lying so hard. I had to make sure you guys couldn't see that I was lying through my Fitbit. Well, that sounds great. How was the flight home? Wasn't that anxiety-inducing?

No. At the airport, though. Did you get home in time for ball? I didn't see the beginning of the first games, but I saw the end of the first games, all the second games. Not bad. Those games were pretty shit until the second half anyway. Second games were great. Second games were amazing. And I got to see my jits. I got to play with my jits. Lovely. And then you get the Eagles tonight. You get to watch your Eagles lose to a backup quarterback. But this is the past now. Yeah. And I don't want to do that to our fans. We should talk

about how bad Drake May looks though. We really should. People want to hear that. We should. People do want to hear that. We should talk about that. But this is important. This is bigger than football. Drake May is a joke. What, what? How could it be? I don't know what happened. I mean, I honestly, I'm starting to think, I think Rucini killed our team. I really do. And like I know that might not be the popular take, but I really think she killed everything

of our team. But she didn't mean. But obviously it's not her. It's Rabel as well. But she dropped the China that she was trying to hold so closely. She tried to hold a baby bird and she squished it. Yeah. It feels like last year it felt like it felt like we were like a real team. Like it felt like it was like

you got digs, hyping people up on the sideline for Rabel's like coach of the year you got Drake May being a leader and now it's just like it's like we got a bunch of like dogs with their tails between their legs like afraid to even be on the field and rabel just looks like I just can't help but think like he's just like a piece of shit no because of the russini thing well the russine like I feel like he lost the locker room oh really I feel like in the NFL you have sex with someone who's not your wife you win the locker room but he didn't have sex he had a second family

he had like a whole another life. I don't see the issue in the NFL here. It's not like Stefan Diggs like fucking his chef and his security guard who happens to be a Cardi 5 foot one girl with a BBL. Like it's a dude who has a kids

and a family who had like another family. I just think that you know that happens quite often in the NFL. Does it? With coaches? Maybe not coaches but I bet you the players when they found out they were like Oh, you should have talked to my housekeeper. I have an organizer for this type of thing.

It just feels like there's like a built an app. There's a math. Multi-fam. It feels like there's a drastic difference between last year and this year. And that's the only thing that I can think of. Other than that, like, we lost dig if we lost booty. But like, A.J. Brown, doesn't he not talk to the godfather of his children there? They should just drop him, honestly.

I don't even want him. Just cut him. Really? I don't want him. Can you think you can get Diggs and Booty back? I wish. I mean, Diggs is literally having like a breakout season again with the commanders. Who would have thought it?

Me. But then A.J. Brown, like, he was the one saying it's so nice to finally play with Drake May because he throws such a nice ball. He's got to feel like a fucking moron. He's got to. Like the biggest dumbass of all time. He's like they were in the Super Bowl last year. I'm taking them there again. And then he like twists his ankle out for half the season.

This is the worst injury. epidemic I've ever seen in the NFL. I feel like this is how it's been the last couple years. No. Yeah. Last year actually might have been worse. Last year, I feel like we lost like five starting quarterbacks like in the first like week.

That happened this year. Jaden Daniels, Caleb, Jackson, Dart. Kyle Murray was out of a little bit. Maybe I'm thinking of two years ago when it was like Aaron Rogers and then Kirk Cousins and then like everybody. It was just they kept going down. Yeah. But it's bad. I mean, it's really bad.

It kind of makes it like... It's a violent sport. Yeah, but it's like, is it... Why is it happening? Why is it like every single game, a star player? All the Giants get hurt because their stadium is concrete. Yeah. All the 49ers players get cursed because they were built on an Indian,

a cursed Indian grave site, a pet cemetery. And those are the only two teams that are really going through it. Are the Giants, I think, also hard. Harbaugh doesn't let anybody rest or something like that. I don't know. You're the Giants guy. I don't know Harbaugh that well. He doesn't ask him about that.

It feels like a bad idea as a coach. Like Brian Burns had an ankle injury and he rushed back Brian Burns. Oh, I think that's what I would do if I was a coach to. Rush guys back? Yeah, I mean, they're just like guys go out with like a, they twist their ankle and all of a sudden they're out for half the season. It's like, what are we paying you for? You know, that's what my mindset would be. The Giants are in such a weird spot right now where they're two and one after

beating the Titans who are I think the worst team in the league and it's probably the Titans and the Patriots realistically and uh it's like all right are we gonna lose out now are we gonna like shouldn't we kind of tank

yeah again it's like it sucks so much do you think Archmanning is worth tanking for oh God no I would try to win games so that you guys can't get Archmanning. Do you?

I think you're kind of buying the pedigree with him. They're not going to let him fail. But I also think Jackson Dart, you're already locked in with Jackson Dart. You got Jackson Dart. He's built. He's made of glass. How many seasons have we had him really playing for? Second season in a row where he's out the whole season.

Yeah, he plays too rough. But I think that there's other guys that the Giants specifically could get. Take another spin with him. Go two and 15. lose the rest of your games and then take another spin. Get that wide out from Ohio State. Jeremy Love. That D.N.

from... Jeremy Love looks insane. Jeremiah Smith. Jeremy Smith. Jeremy Love is the running back from the... Cardinals. Yeah. We got different Jeremiahs.

We're throwing different Jeremiahs around. We're throwing different Jeremiahs around. They were cool on their pussy asses. Well, I was thinking of Jeremiah Smith. Jeremiah Love actually looks pretty mid. Jeremiah Smith looks amazing. Yeah. Different competition.

You guys know football far better than I do. Oh, I do. How hard is it? It's really hard. What is the, what is the, what is the, what is the real problem with if you've got a very good quarterback or even like an upper mid-level quarterback investing so much in your offensive line? That's how you're supposed to do it.

Does that just necessarily come at the detriment of a robust defense? Not necessarily. Not after the Bengals. It might take you a couple of years to get there, though. I think you've got to build through the trenches. I think you know more about football than you're letting on, brother. Well, it just seems to me that having your starting quarterback play every game of your NFL season almost... Under attack.

Versus being out in the first couple weeks. Yeah, yeah. Is the difference between the playoffs and utter horrific performance. Totally. Or if you have a decent offensive line, you can make everybody think you have a good quarterback like the Patriots last year. Well, no, the Patriots had a terrible offensive line last year. Last year we were just a bet, like Drake May was a better quarterback last year. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Statistically, he was a significantly better quarterback.

They're putting in the rookie. They're taking out your offensive line. And they're sitting guys who could play last year. It just breaks my fucking heart. it's really frustrating because it's like they're like it's not even like the Patriots are the worst team in the league they're the worst they're the least like I would put them up there with the Eagles in terms of like I want to blow my fucking head off when I'm watching this team play leave the Eagles out of it bro but the Eagles are unbearable to watch unbearable you're hurt you're hurt and you're trying to hurt me and I understand that that's what's going on hurt people hurt people exactly that's all that's happening I'm not hurt this is what I're lashing out you're lashing out and that's okay but just be aware. I think I said going into the season, I said we were going to go four and 13.

And I said yesterday, to a lot of people, I said, we're going to get exposed today by the Jags. Yeah, that's exactly what happens. That was known. The Jags are good. Trevor Lawrence,

you're kind of a Jags fan. No, I'm not. A little bit. I hate Trevor. Well, I don't hate Trevor Lawrence. That's a nasty thing to say.

You're a bit of a Jags fan. I got nothing against Trevor Lawrence. He's a good player. And a good guy. And a good guy. He's a rock solid. I have to piece. bed. Oh, okay. I guess we can just end the episode. We don't have to end the episode. No, we'll just

end the episode. I'm going to piss myself. We'll just end it right there. I crush the water. I'm fresh off of crushing a water on the other podcast. Two coffees. Two coffees deep over here. Yeah. And have you shit? No, I wish. Man, I've had the worst stomach ache. I get these stomach aches like once every like two months. Yeah. It's like a combination of indigestion and constipation. and it just leads to a week of intense pain in the stomach. A whole week? Usually, yeah. Now, is there no medication that you can take?

So, Peptobismal. Saturday night, I took, I was in bed, had a free night. My spot was early. I had like a 7.15 spot. Got home. That's nice. Just really looking forward to a night of games. Can't even sit at the desk because my stomach hurt so bad.

Wow. So I got to lay in bed with a heating. pat on my stomach. Oh my god. Pregnant lady. Yeah, like you're pre pre like a three, like a three days in front of your period. Yeah. Like I have period cramps. Yeah. And it just kept getting like it with it was like pressure. I felt like the I felt like a video of Stu Feiner. You know when you see those videos of stew and you're like it looks like you could just pop his stomach with a little needle and it would just start hissing out air. That's how I felt on Saturday night. Yeah. So at like two

am, I door dash laxatives. Wow. To my apartment. Yeah. Taken overnight laxative, which I've never done before. I've never taken a laxative. I woke up the next morning, shit, but like barely. Wow.

And now I'm like, okay, now we got a real issue because where do the laxative, like, what's going on in my body? And I went to, then I went on a little walk, like, barely. I went to like to go to the store, came back. Big time. Hero, he, Hiroshima. Dams, bro. Baghdad. Yeah.

Landslide in Brazil. Totally. Whole village wiped into the river. And but then the stomachate, like, so then the stomachate goes away. Complete relief, feel good. Then it comes back. And this is how it is every time. And it'll probably, I would say Wednesday, I'll probably be in the clear.

I was saying that's how I felt on Saturday night. Loaded? Yeah. I know that you're not having a leafy greens. No, I am. That's the thing, too. But I feel like they're like, it's making it. Like there's just, I don't know what it is.

I gotta go to the doctor. I'm sick of living like this. Yes, you should. Yeah, I can't exist this way. You gotta do that thing where you find out like what you're, you need a stool sample, but you need to figure out what you're allergic to. Yeah.

But isn't that like a really long process? I don't know. Like when it's the stomach. One thing you could consider is fecal transplant therapy. Oh, no. That's where they take. They put the shit in your ass. Someone else is, I think they might actually pump it down your throat.

into your stomach. I could be wrong. They either go up or they go down. I'd rather just have a stomach egg. But they would take the shit from a healthy person, say me, I would be willing to give my, to put my shit down your throat. I would happily do that. In fact, we don't need a doctor. Francis's shit's come out beautiful. They're like a double helix. Yeah. They come out like a Bucatini. I would rather my stomach explode from pressure than have you shit in my throat. You're going to need a healthy donor and my gut health is pretty darn good. Because I eat clean. And he's a kombucha man.

That said, really quick aside. So I've been on this kick of losing 10 pounds. Yeah, of course. I'm down four. Nice. Doing well. I mean, down four pounds is what? Like, was that as of this morning?

As of yesterday, but that's like. You could be up five. Francis is consistent. You could set your clock to Kent Francis's weight. He's not fluctuating like us salt eaters. Yeah. You don't fluctuate like that? Because I'm up and down like four every day.

I had been 220 to 221 for a long time. So to see it come down to 216 was a pretty nice surprise. It just was a dramatic diversion from what it had typically been. But my point being that that was the way I did that was just purely by what I noticed was that when I cut out sugar, I really ramped back on sugar, basically entirely cut it out. that actually did away with like cravings for larger portion sizes. And I find that now when I'm eating, whether it's at a restaurant or like I've ordered some food or something, I get full and notice it and I don't eat the rest. I save it for the next day or something like that.

I'm not overeating. And I really attribute that to cutting down on sugar. Interesting. Has that affected your gains in the gym? are you able to still hit your PRs and your burpees and your pull-ups and everything? Yeah, I mean, I'm working out kind of the same way. Like, I don't, I don't really... Are you still doing two days or now?

No. No. That's for the Olympics. Yeah. That was when I was on the Olympic team. Yeah, that sucks. But I will say that, like, what was I going to say? No sugar.

I've heard that people say, like, eating, like, are you eating, like, fruit? Are you just doing no, like, sweets? Correct, no sweets. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. No refined sugars. I'm not really eating much fruit as a dessert either. I mean, I'll have a banana in the morning.

But on Sunday, I just decided, you know, it's been a long period of real Spartan. Yeah, yeah, real discipline. And I might as well, I didn't really have much going on. I worked out in the morning and then it was football. And I was like, I guess I'm going to watch nine hours of football on like a movie. and really just rot and have a nice candle going and stuff like that. Beautiful. Because it was pouring out.

And I ordered some food and then I said, you know what? I haven't had a dessert in a long time. I wasn't really craving one, but I thought, whatever. Yeah, why not? Treat ourselves, a little cheat day. And I ordered $48 of ice cream. Oh, wow. It's a lot of ice cream.

I ordered two Sundays. How many cones is that? How many cones is that? it was two full Sundays that I added pistachio cream and peanut butter sauce to one. And then I added Oreo crumble and like a strawberry jam type thing. Well, why two? Huh? Why too?

Because I really wanted variety. So it seems like you went like zero to a thousand. And then I also ordered a coffee milkshake. That's a binge. We're talking about a binge right there. It's a lot of dairy. Yeah, well, the milkshake I had, I substituted oat milk, which turned out fine. Very smart.

Yeah, but the ice cream was full dairy. Yeah. And I ate a lot of it. So you think you're probably up for. Well, I will say that I felt worse after this than I had in a long time. Oh, yeah. And I think it's because like I had cleansed my body. It was like, oh, we're not doing that anymore.

Oh, we're going to, okay, like let's let's let the flowers blossom. Yeah. Spring is here. You're running on premium. Yeah. And then you put some fucking... And then I went back to heroin. And it just shut my body down.

Yeah. And everything was unhappy. Horrible. Like I had shin splints from it. Oh. Places in my body hurt from that binge that had not been hurting. Were you able to sleep well or now? Luckily, I ate all that at 3 p.m.

Oh, this was early. Yeah. Well, I didn't eat after that either. What was the first? That you ordered? Yeah. What was the, what food did you order before that?

I had steak. Oh, I had pasta. Oh my God. This is a massacre. Steak pasta and then three Sundays. It's by air, by sea,

by asshole. That would actually kill me. Like pasta alone is like, I'm going to have diarrhea regardless. Yeah, that's torture. Let alone steak. ice cream. I say that I ordered it. I didn't actually order it. It was the leftovers from Saturday when I went to this unbelievable restaurant in New York City called Siciamo. Oh yeah, I've been.

Have you really? That's great. In Hudson Yards. Have you been? No, but I just heard people downstairs were just arguing about Sisiamo. It's amazing. It is good. It's amazing. I lied. I had a feeling. Yeah. You've never even been to Hudson. No, I thought we were going to move on from it faster than that. Why would you even lie about it? Because I thought it would be funny if I'd been, but then I realized we were going to actually talk about it, so I can't keep continuing with that lie. Pull the parachute, brother. Yeah, I might as well get ahead of it now.

What did you have? Yeah. The steak. You know they have the steak and the pasta. But yeah, I ordered a ton of food there and then brought a bunch of it home. And get this. These people were so nice. They're fans of the pod.

Oh. And the. Somalia, I was sitting at the counter, came over and was like, can I pour you guys? Can I pour you a little glass of wine? And I was like, oh, sure. Okay. And he's like, I got a white and a red. He's poor. I'm like, is he? I was kind of like, is he letting me sample this? Like I didn't. Did I buy this? Yeah, it wasn't entirely sure. Yeah. Because I still had a cocktail and whatever. And anyway, at the end of the lunch, it was like, it was like, it was like, I ate at like 3.30 on Saturday, 4 p.m. The bartender who had been serving me, my meal was like, by the way, our Somalii took care of everything. And I was like, what? Like the whole meal and stuff? The whole meal.

Jesus. And I was like, I was truly stunned. I was like, I don't understand. And because he hadn't come up and poured me the wine and been like, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Love you or whatever. He was just like, let me pour some wine. Try this.

So, turns out that they're the Somali and the owner and the GM or whatever are big fans of Boy Dad. That's it. And he said that anytime that we want to go in there, we should. And we should go to like Somalia for a tour. You're conflating Somalia and Siciamo into Somalia. Somalia. The Somali and Somali from Ceceamo. We should have a Somali.

We should do a Somalian tour. Yeah, we should. Yeah, that's definitely what we have to go. We have to go to Somalia. That's definitely the place that I want to go to is Somalia. Whatever. CCM was an amazing restaurant. And by the way, I didn't know any of that was going to happen.

And I was going to recommend the place anyway. So how did you work out a tip? Great question. Because I was, the bartender was the one who had to be like, it's all taken care of. And then I was like, but how am I supposed to? And then I was like, I feel really bad. like, I want to tip you. And she was like, okay.

She's like, I'll charge you one cent right now for your lunch. And then you can tip whatever on top. At least you let you tip. I gave a hundred bucks. That's a great tip. I don't know. That's kind of a. If you have your whole meal comped, what is the right tip?

But that's what I was going to ask who, like when, when, uh, I figure if the meal had been 200 bucks, you know, you're talking about a 50% tip. When the Somalian comp did. Is it, are they, are they, is that coming out of their check? No, they probably have a certain amount of like, like, uh, of comps. Because it kind of seems like a great strategy if you're the Somalian to make like way more money. That doesn't, the money doesn't go to him. But the Somalian gets no money.

He's getting the tip. No, the bartender is. I'm assuming the weight staff all splits. Yeah, yeah. Okay, never mind. Never mind. I was going to say like comp the meal and then you get a massive tip. We should go to CCMO as a pod though.

Definitely. All of us, we should go. Yeah. I think that that, I think 100 was a nice tip. Yeah. I think as long as you're not shorting them, it's okay. Well, you got to go beyond because they've comped the whole meal. What have you, what would you have tipped?

Well, how much did you spend? How much would the meal have been? Two on it? 200-ish. 100. Or maybe the whole 200. Whoa. But that's just because I know what you were saying, so I want to say a higher amount.

That's crazy. That's fair. Yeah. Trying to make Francis look bad. Yeah, that's what I, at CCAmo. I just want them to come back. I would have tip 300 personally. Well, you know that Somalia.

150%. That sounds so nice. What kind of pasta was it? I did the cavitelli, and then this other one, I can't remember. It was long and thin. It had artichokes and rabbit in it. Rabbit. A ragu?

It is rabbit season. It might have been ragu. Or is it duck season. Now it's rabbits. Duck season? Rabbit is big right now. It's the perfect time of year. Yeah, it really is.

We got to wrap this up. Oh, yeah, we do. All right. Yeah. Unfortunately, I am having a good time. Much more to talk about. Yeah, we're going to just have, we're having an argue garbage on. So we're going to record with them now.

All right. We will see you guys next week. Goodbye.