Son of a Boy Dad - Baked Clams | Son of a Boy Dad #232

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

Baked Clams | Son of a Boy Dad #232 -- Son of a Boy Dad is a comedy podcast with Harry Settel, Francis Ellis & Adam Ferrone -- Ad: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/BOY. -- Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. All right, good to go. What is up everybody? Welcome to the son of a boy, dad podcast. It is September 9th. People aren't going to like that at all. Why? Because I'm the leader. I'm the fearless leader. You're fearful. There's already turned off the episode. You're our terrified, fearful leader. We cower behind you in line.

Um, yes, it is September 9th here in New York. It's getting a little bit autumnal. It is. I ate some corn today. I had a lot of corn. Well, how's your voice sounding so deep and manly? I ate some corn. I don't know. Barry White.

I ate a lot of food right before we started. I ate some corn. And I Barry White? Ate a lot of food right before we started. This weekend I ate some corn. And I'm feeling, yeah. I'm a powerful God. Like a drug dealer that doesn't want his fucking identity revealed on some. The Nortanios and the Serranios.

I'd step on it with pretty much anything. Talcum powder. What we do basically is we put it in this massive paint stirring pot, just add a bunch of drywall to it, baby powder. It sits here. I always feel like someone who really knew that guy could figure out who it was. It's always their face shape. We're like weird people here. Yeah, they're wearing a perfectly form-fitting balaclava.

Yeah, we want to do a sketch about that, about that being your first time buying drugs and you show up and there's like 30 cameras. Cool, that's fine. Just credit me as writer. No, I came up with that idea months ago. No, you're saying that now because I had... No, it's probably written down somewhere. You'll have to show me. Is it dated? Probably, yeah.

Here are the dates at the top. I was watching a National Geographic, they did a documentary about meth. They did? Yeah. Are they like in the forest I think as vice when I went up went on that's the cocaine one. I've seen that that's crazy obviously messed up the Synthesis process for cocaine it's natural it seems cut, but I remember the part that scared me was the amount of gasoline They used a lot of gasoline. What the fuck is the gasoline for? I don't think I was like, oh, I don't love that.

I like the smell of gasoline, but I wouldn't sport for gasoline. You can smell cocaine, but the Venn diagram stops there. So much gasoline that they used. It was very natural, and then they just started dousing it with paint thinner. They're like on a tiki hut. They're like on a second level of a tiki hut pouring gasoline. It seems so dangerous. Pretty scary.

Like smoking cigarettes. Like if they ash a cigarette, they're going up in flames. The whole Amazon forest is burning to the ground. Okay, from a drug production standpoint, what is the drug that you two, if you had to, you think you could actually learn the process of making?

And I'm not talking about weed. But weed is pretty hard too. You need like black strap molasses. But that would be the easiest one to do. Yes, but to do well? No, you don't have to do it well. You just have to make a drug that could actually make someone get high.

From pure synthesis? Starting at zero. I would do like Oxycontin or something. You think you could make a painkiller? I think it's just you just gotta get whatever the ingredients are and then you just press it, done. Which probably like a head of lettuce, some turmeric, a little bit of rhubarb or something like that.

What could the ingredients be that you have access to? Well, okay, if now we're talking access to things, then I guess I couldn't make any drug. Exactly. Busted. I don't have access to raw cocaine. It would be meth the way that people do with Sudafed. You would do it that way. Well, I don't want to make a cheap product, brother. You want something high-end, some shatter maybe, I don't know. It's always like in like a tray or something. Have you ever seen the people that make

dabs by they just take weed and they put it in like a wax paper and then they just drive over it with their car like 10 times. Really? Yeah. What? That or the or they take actual weed and put it on peanut butter on a cracker and microwave it a bunch, and all of a sudden they're like, we have an edible. Oh yeah. You're eating dry buds.

I remember when I was in high school, one of my friends tried to make edibles with brownies, and he just used regular weed and put them into the brownies, and then we didn't wanna cook them inside because he was like, it's going to smell up the house. So he cooked them on a grill outside and they just didn't, they were just awful. It does stink up the house in our college house.

We were making, like we were using bush weed to make brownies and it stunk through it, like the block smell. It was disgusting. It's so nasty, but I guess you could use the stems or some shit. Is there, can you make like a weed tea with the stems? That was always a thing that I heard. Everyone was like, save the stems, you can make a good tea with them. I bought the weed honey. But then I did not use a proper

measuring tool to put it into my tea. So some cups would be nice and then other cups I would be high the next day. And those were the days when I was doing Barstool Breakfast. And one time I did that and I woke up at, you know, six a.m. for the show and thought, oh no. And I mean, I was so groggy and delirious and disoriented for the entire two hours. Being high in the morning is garbage.

They say if you wake up high from edibles, that if you take a shit, it like immediately goes away. I don't know about that. What? Yeah. It's not right. I think you need to put shit in your butt for it to go away. I think that's the, I think you need to get someone else's Fecal transplant. Full turd

and fecal transplanted. Yeah, look it up. Fecal transplant. I remember I read something about a dude who was like high for like three days, then he shit in an immediate one way. He read it. I was just picturing a good ass book about that. No, I think it was on Twitter.

I think it was someone that I followed on Twitter. And why would they lie? Exactly. There's no purpose for someone to lie on Elon's app. I just got the guy who does the what do you do for a living thing just found me. Oh yeah, yeah, found me on the street. How was it? You tell him what you did?

It was pretty confrontational. Yeah. Cause you know, like you think that it's planned beforehand but he really just bombs on people. I've seen him in the act. We did a video with Tommy filming him doing it. He did do it. He said he had done it with Tommy.

Yeah. And he just picked me up and then we did it and had no idea that the, and then the questions were, I mean, he's like, what do you do for a living? I was like, I'm a comedian. And then he asked me one or two more questions, then he was like, tell me a joke. Which is the question I hate the most

in my entire line of work. And I did try to tell a joke. Oh, you should have just told him to fuck off. What was I supposed to do? Tell him to fuck off. I think that that- What'd you do? You were like, I love Republican men. You're going to one of your long bits.

You did a set? Yeah. You did the entire thing. No, I did the joke. I don't know if I, did I tell you the joke about Morocco and my sister. I think I've told you. Yeah. I just did that one.

It was like out. I think I've done that on the pot, right? Yeah. Did he laugh? So I was like, yeah, he laughed. Yeah. That's a good joke. That's actually a good joke, but it's not one that I care about.

So like, I don't care to burn it theoretically. You should have done What City has the best back doctors. That one always fucking crushes Cairo, Phara That always gets howling laughter on this very good what what so what do you mean? He picked you up and where were you where you at? I walked out of the office It was as if it was yeah, right out front. He did it here I thought he only did it in like so yeah that one cross section where that Sandro store is

He only did it in like, in Soho. Yeah, that one cross section where that Sandro store is. Well, he's a nice guy, his name's Teddy. Teddy. But I wasn't ready for it. You weren't ready for Teddy? And then I was like, by the way, you might wanna cut some of those things. And then he was like, basically was like,

don't tell me what to do. Really? He didn't say that, but it was like, no. He's like, I don't tell you how to do your jokes, funny man. He was like, do't tell me what to do. Really? He didn't say that, but it was like, no. He's like, I don't tell you how to do your jokes, funny man. He's like, do you have anything to say to whatever? And I was like, yeah. I said something like, thank you to everyone

for relaxing a little bit on sensitivity and like giving us a little more bandwidth to work with. And he was like, that's right, cancel culture's over. And I was like, I don't want to go into that. But you're gonna be on like Fox News on fucking Tuesday morning. Not anymore. I don't think so. That bridge is burned.

Tucker's not there anymore. It wasn't just him. No, it was the whole. It was the it was the establishment trying to take down the entire entire board. My face is in the toilets above the urinals. Have you seen this man? If you've seen this man, shoot him on sight.

You should have messaged Tucker back and be like, I did get a divorce. I'm not gonna say that. I said to Dave to say that to him, but I did and Dave didn't reply, even though I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever said to Dave to say that to him. But I did. And Dave didn't reply, even though I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever said to Dave. It is. That is funny. I said, tell Tucker I took his advice and stopped letting my wife dictate my life. And now we're divorced.

It's so funny. I thought Dave would at least be like, haha. Yeah. Nothing. Tell Jesse Waters. I don't even have their, I mean, I have his producer's email. Well, I want him to know more about this guy. Teddy? Teddy.

So Teddy comes up to you, you're just walking, picking up whatever. And he's like, hey man, I do the, what do you do for a living videos. So he gives you a little heads up. And I was like, oh, but then I made a mistake, which was like, I was like, I thought that was the same guy that does the, how much can I see your apartment videos?

Yeah. And I was like, oh, your videos are fucking huge. That's awesome, dude. Like he was like, yeah, I'd love to, you want to do it right now? And I was like, oh, wait, I don't know if I can go back to my apartment right now. You can choose the faceless men of New York. I was like, are you you're that guy? Or no. And he was like,

No, no, no, we do right here. Just just the What do you do for a living? I was like, Oh, okay, cool. And then he walked, he's like, all right, I'll see you on the next block. He looked around. He went one block ahead and I walked up and then he was like, what do you do for a living? And then I was like, oh. That would be tough to act like you didn't see him as you're crossing the street or something like that.

Well, the weird part was it was a- I would too and I would just make eye contact with the camera the entire way up. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. It's a little stage for sure. Yeah, yeah.

That's what, did you ever see the one that KB did? No. Where like he was, yeah, he was in a grocery store and he was like reaching for a drink and then the dude just took the drink out of his hand and KB had to pretend and be like, dude, what the fuck? And then we all thought it was real and then he was like, no, the entire thing was staged.

And then I came up to him in the grocery store and asked if he could do it. It's so weird. It's so weird that it's staged because when he was doing, no, the entire thing was staged. And I came up to him in the grocery store and asked if he could do it. It's so weird. It's so weird that it's staged. Because when he was doing it in Soho, he was just going up to people without it being staged. But you can't, well, not only can you not do that, but I'm walking abreast.

What do you mean you can't do that? You can't just, you would need consent forms. But they do it. Well, brother, I think that you're wrong about that. Have we moved away from consent forms? I think it depends on the city that you're in, doesn't it? If you're filming in public, it's the freedom of the press.

It's a First Amendment protected activity. You're allowed to go up to people and ask how much they pay for their rent and then get in their house. If it's for profit, I don't think you can. I spend eight hours a day watching First Amendment audits on TikTok, eight hours a day. And I feel like I'm a fucking expert on it now. Fair enough.

These dudes just stand outside of bars filming people, and they're like, what are you filming? It's just like, working on a story. You can just film. I think you can just film. Anything your eyes can see from public. You can't go into private business. But I'm sorry, I interrupted you just film anything your eyes can see from public. You can't go in a private business But I'm sorry. I know that's fine. I don't mind when you interrupt wait. No, we can just wait I guess

Francis you want to restart sorry about that. I'd rather we start the whole episode with you bringing us in I have felt uncomfortable since the moment Because he fucking did it. And I'll be honest with you, I didn't expect it to be that way, but it is. I'm taking a much more relaxed position on this podcast. He's taking a backseat. How about this? I'm gonna do that too, and I thought of that first.

And that's not, you know. No, he wrote the date down. You're just stealing all of my ideas. I'm not even mad. And pawning them off as your own. Whew, I like it in here. But go back to what you were saying. You were saying that first off,

you can't just do it in public and also. I'm walking. So did you spaz? Did you spaz on him at all? That's how far you made it? That's kind of just what I wanna get to. That's how long you could be relaxed for. If you guys got into it.

First question. Because Rowan's question was bad, so I had to ask a good one. What was my, what was the bad question? I don't remember what it was. Let me finish that thought. I'm walking next to two strangers and they're in the shot. That's my question.

Yeah. How is that allowed? They're not gonna be thrilled. I think that's on you. I think you're supposed to tip them off. The sidewalk was packed. And be like, there's cameras everywhere. What was your question?

Did I spaz? Did you like get into it with him? No. Is that how that works? You're supposed to be angry with each other? I think if I, I always envisioned that if it was me, I would get angry with the guy. And then I walked out and be-

But I had agreed to do it. He said, all right, I'll meet you on the next block. Cool. And I was like, okay, yeah, sure. But like every time, like Adam Sandler is always in those and it's always him just going, fuck off. No. Get the hell out of here. Well, he's always like, okay, yeah, sure. But like every time like Adam Sandler is always in those and it's always him just going fuck off. Get the hell out of here. Well, I don't think he's asking him for permission first. Yeah, but I want to be I want to do that. I want to be like Adam Sandler.

I want you to pay for rent. Go fuck yourself. That's what I'm looking at. That would make my year. The video of him and Chris Rock. Yeah. When someone just rides up on a bike and is like what inspires you guys? guys? And they're like, all right, buddy, come on, buddy. Have a good day. Go have fun, buddy. I love the, you ever see the ones that people do, the parodies where they're like, uh, the guy comes over and he's like, he's like, uh, what do you do for a living?

And then they take their headphones down. They're like visions of Johanna by Bob Dillon. by Bob Dylan. That's good. That would be funny. That's funnier than the sketch you were thinking of earlier. The drug dealing one? Yeah. That's a much different premise. But it's funnier though. It's funnier. You haven't even seen my sketch yet. It's not out. Because we haven't even filmed it. Exactly. And we will. It will be revolutionary. And it will have a big credit for Francis. It will not. I think I just... Francis could feature for me after it changes my life. If you're if you're thinking of going in two directions, you've got two directions to go in. The one of the headphones. That's already been done. I'm not really like a steal jokes kind of guy. Well you just stole Francis' joke about the drug

dealer. I watched you do it live. We all saw that. I always like think like, oh, it'd be funny to have like a funny answer for what you do for a living. But then every time I watch one of those videos and people have like a vague answer on what they do, I get so fucking angry. Just like say what you do. Yeah. Like I make moves and fucking move people. It's like, just say what your fucking job is. Say how you got your money. I work with money. I was not funny on this thing at all. I was not funny at all. It's probably pretty hard to be funny. Um, yeah. I don't, I wasn't funny. I would have been funny, but it was felt. It felt like what I would think it would feel like

to talk to a paparazzi. Oh yeah. Not that I would ever, but just that's what it was like. Paparazzi film people in public without their consent. True. Do they? Yeah. They don't get, oh yeah, you're right.

You basically got paparazzi. It's not even in public. They take like zoomed in photos of people in their house. And then it's like on the cover of New York Times. In their backyard. Yeah. Chris Cuomo during. Didn't they do Chris Cuomo during COVID in his backyard in the Hamptons or some shit like that?

I think, yeah, because he was supposed to be quarantined. And he was having a fuck fest party. Yeah. How did you listen to the Dave Smith thing where he tries to explain it, right? Yeah, yeah. Of course. I put you onto that Dave Smith thing, bro. You did.

That is true. No fucking big deal. That is funny though. When's it going to come out? Do you have any idea? No. I think the post-production on that takes a long time. Oh yeah.

Yeah, they got to send it over. Clearances. Yeah. They got to send it up to the network heads. Yeah, audio adjustments, yeah. They got to like send it over. Clearances. Yeah. They got to send it up to the network heads. Yeah. Audio adjustments, everything. Captions. Closed captions. Captions alone. I want to make sure- That's a month process. I'm now going back through everything I've just said and making sure that I've told the truth.

It's better if you didn't. I think I did. I think it happened just like that. I think I walked out of the office and then he said who he was and asked if I wanted to do his thing and I said, yeah. Francis, it's Teddy. You know me. He said we'd met before on the rooftop of the James hotel, the Jimmy. The gym.

You're a gym. I don't remember what, what is the James hotel? Do you know where that is? It's a Poughkeepsie. Am I lying? The James hotel in Poughkeepsie? Am I making this up? Is the Jimmy the one that's in the Lower East Side? I think we're, I must be talking about-

No, that's Mr. Purple. I don't know where the Jimmy, I think that's in SoHo. Is Mr. Purple a club? That's where we had our- It's that rooftop place with the little pool. That's where the bar stool party was. Oh, and that's where you couldn't get into's that rooftop place with the little pool. That's where the barstool party was. Oh, and that's where you couldn't get into or something? I couldn't get in after the barstool party.

The Jimbo's gotta be from Poughkeepsie. I would have a hard time believing that you and Teddy from TikTok. You guys, were you in Poughkeepsie? I mean, you go- You were out, you guys were up, you were vacationing in Poughkeepsie. Can't be.

Did he have cool pants on? Clubbing in Poughkeepsie. Can't be. Did he have cool pants on? Clubbing in Poughkeepsie. He was cool. He's a cool guy. Tall guy. Cool dressed, cool guy. Let's go out tonight. Let's go up to Poughkeepsie.

We gotta get out to Poughkeepsie this weekend. Should we? Let's just go now. You know who's from there is Mubi. Really? That's not a good area. I did shows out in Poughkeepsie. It was brutal.

I've done it. I've done that. I was sitting in a fucking green room was a metal chair in the hallway with brick with the brick walls. And they're like, do you want any food from the restaurant? And you're like, absolutely not. That green room, it's literally like, it's just you, you by yourself, just sitting in a metal folding chair, just in like a clearly, just a storage hallway.

And then like occasionally a waiter will come back and he'll be like, you need anything? And you're just sitting there by yourself. No, I'm all good. There's 10 people in the show. It's like an interrogation room. It's so bad. A cop comes in offering you a cheeseburger. The only, yeah, they definitely have, the only food they have there is like a deep fried latex glove with cheese stuffed inside of it. We have a damn good Guinness there though. It is a good Guinness. Yeah.

That is a good Guinness. Is it really? Oh yeah. It's an good Guinness. Yeah. It is a good Guinness. Is it really? Oh yeah. It's an Irish pub connected to the bar, to the comedy club. So you know the food's trash. Yeah. But the food in Ireland's not bad though.

Well I'm sure the food in Ireland's a lot different than the Irish pubs in Poughkeepsie, New York. The food in Ireland is the worst food I've ever had in my life. It is? What are you talking about? I had a conversation this past weekend about how the food in Ireland wasn't as bad as expected.

It's as bad as any I've ever had. Really? Are the best fish and chips in my life in Ireland. Yeah, that's the one thing you have. Yeah. They do that well. If you have it five nights in a row, you don't want it anymore.

I have a hard time believing that all of Ireland has bad food. Not all of it, but just can't you just get like a sandwich or like nachos? They probably do do a bunch of nachos, but I imagine it's pretty similar to the American food. It's not. You can't get a salad. Perfect. I wasn't going to order it. Actually, it might be perfect for you.

You wouldn't you wouldn't really like zero grain that much. A grain over there. You wouldn't like the burgers they have and by the third day you would never want one again why what's wrong with the burgers it's probably like onion sticking out of it I love that no it's not I love onions no it's not fresh they have grilled fresh weed brownies over there oh remind you of home reminds me of yeah. It takes you right back. I had my credit card, I couldn't find it after Labor Day weekend, and so I thought I had lost it,

and I called and had them cancel it and send me a new one, and then I found it in my wallet. That's bad. Bro. And now I have to put in all the- Go through all my fucking, like- You'll probably be late on a bill that you didn't even know. Stuff, yeah.

You'll probably lose your Equinox membership because you... Sometimes that's the best way to get out of paying for something you haven't wanted to pay for though, just change the card. Ooh. I think that's the only way to cancel a gym membership is change the card. Yeah. But then they have another card somehow.

Yeah. Rocket money. Yeah. Is good. Yeah. Is that an ad this week? Let's just do it live. Is it actually? Wow.

Rocket money is an incredible way. Getting out of subscriptions and things that you don't want to be part of anymore. There's an easier way than losing your credit card and having it canceled and replaced. And that's Rocket Money. Honestly, during football season, I find myself subscribed to so many different services. I have NFL premium, I think eight times. I have YouTube TV on five different servers. And it's just, it's so dumb. And all you really need is Rocket Money to streamline all of that. It makes it so much more straightforward. And it's a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. That's basically what you're about to be able to do, Francis. I like their net worth tab. Yeah. Sass, you could see all eight of those NFL subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money's going. For any of you don't want any more, for any you don't want any more,

Rocket Money can help you cancel them with a few taps. It has over five million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com

slash boy. That's rocketmoney.com slash boy. Rocketmoney.com slash boy. That's a good promo code. All right, let's take a tech. Let's take a tech and let's talk about game time. Time for a tech about Game Time. Game Time, the exclusive ticketing partner

of Barstool Sports, the official ticketing partner of our podcast, but we're also the official podcast of Game Time. Are we now? They told us that because they love us so much. We are their top podcast. I love Game Time. They love us.

They love us right back because of the sweet deals, because of the great interface. I just got an email. I just got an email securing my tickets. To Sebastian? For Sebastian. Wow. Sebastian Maniscalco, who are these guys?

Yeah. That's not Sebastian. Who's that? What's the deal with airplane food? Yeah, you guys got all messed up. Sebastian. Sebastian's. It's gotta be so sick seeing him talk about.

10 cases of Schlitz? No, that's Sebastian. Who's that? I know that guy. That's not Sebastian. That's for? Chris Farley's brother. Bandits?

Yeah. That's Bobby Farley. Real dry cleaning is when you get something on your clothes and you pick it off with your finger. Me and my friends are wearing tuxes to Sebastian. That's Bobby Farley. Real dry cleaning is when you get something on your clothes and you pick it off with your finger. Me and my friends are wearing tuxes to Sebastian. That's so fun. You're not gonna do that. We are.

Where are you getting your tux from? I don't know. Exactly. Well, you got your tickets from Game Time. I got my tickets from Game Time. Game Time. Game Time. Game Time.

You know how much we love Game Time now with their brand new game time picks feature. They're making it easier than ever to get to a game. That's what I was about to talk about. Game time picks filter out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets.

Game time picks so easy. You just click and pick. Where do you wanna sit? Click and pick. It's really just a click and pick type of situation. Just a little click and pick situation. Download the game time app today and use code boy Dad to easily score score great deals With the new game time picks. What is what time is it game time? It's game time. It's always game time with us brothers

Now let's get back into the show brought us right in that was pretty a good we we led the Pigs to the trough yeah the pigs are eating eating slop out of the troughs what is it laid a horse to water we'd let the horses to water but I think that and but we're gonna make them drink forcefully we're gonna stand over them with. Boy. That's our promo code. That's our promo code. Yeah. That's our promo code.

Like Adrian Peterson. Yes. Standing over with a switch. His young son. His young boy. His young son. My boy. Drink that water.

Who is he whipping his son's thighs or something? I don't know. But everyone, it was such a divisive thing. You guys spank? Do you guys spank your children? I don't know, but everyone was such a divisive thing. You guys spank? Do you guys spank your children? I will, because kids are getting worse. Yeah? Mm-hmm.

By the time I have some, they're gonna be as bad as they've ever been. You think? Yeah. You just gotta beat the shit out of them. I think that's what I'm saying. All you gotta do is rough them up like once or twice. But also have them on an iPad for 12 hours a day

so when you're roughing them up, they're like completely taken off guard. Yeah, I grew up thinking, well, I don't know how any parent could ever hit a kid, that's abuse. And then I saw someone hit a kid and the kid immediately started behaving better. Oh yeah, I'm sure.

And I was like, that was the most effective thing I've ever seen. You just gotta strike some fear into him. Into my life. Yeah. That kid was acting super shitty and then the parent whacked him. There's a lot of things that people don't know. Which flavor of whack? Spank, spank.

On the butt, the behind? Butt and then the kid fucking stopped. Really? Yeah. I'd go brass knuckles, just one quick jab to the face. To the jaw. I'll set him straight. Yeah.

Yeah. By the way, this is like people I didn't even know. Yeah. And the fact that they felt comfortable enough, like hitting their kid in front of me made me feel good. It probably makes you behave better. Normalize beating your children. You ever heard that area spears bit?

No. About how black people will hit their kids in front of you. They'll hit other people's kids. It takes a village. Yeah. It takes a village. Yeah, it takes a village. It really does. That's like one of the, I think that's one of the funniest bits ever.

That's funny. That was like one of the first standup clips I ever watched was one of my friends showed it to me. And he's talking about like him being at his, him not realizing that white kids talk back to their parents. Oh, I've seen that. And he's over at his friend's house. And his he's at his house and his mom comes in and screams at them and then his mom leaves and his friends like she can't just come in here like that dude this is your area

oh man what a true gem the fact that they never put him on SNL, that's a slap in the face. I think he did pretty well. That, uh. I think he's still doing pretty well. Still, but when impressions were at a premium. Yeah, true, his impressions are incredible. That JZ, that rap song he did where he went from all of them

to one and then, yeah. That's in the Def Jam All Star. It's amazing. Episode. I feel like you used to be able to get on SNL with just having a couple impressions Like you just had to have a good ass like Jay Farrow Came up just had some fucking did Jay Farrow do SNL. Yeah, he did like his impressions are crazy good

Yeah, we saw him at MSG and he did his Obama was his Obama's amazing. Yeah Yeah, I gotta get impressions. I don't have a single impression. Yeah, you do. Who? You do that Kyle Kanane impression. News to me. You do Kyle Kanane doing Obama.

Sass, your pants and your hat are the exact same color as the wall. Are they really? And if I squint, it blend in. It feels a little bit like I'm just seeing you. Just your torso. Yeah. On the top of your head. A lot of Patriots gear today. I mean, we're going to win the Super Bowl, so you got to really be wrapping for these next 17 weeks. I know. So excited for us. For the Pats. Yeah. Should we talk some ball? Look, we can talk plenty of ball. I mean, I've got all I did yesterday was watch ball.

That's actually had an insane parlay hit. Yeah, I so I had a week ago or like maybe even two weeks ago, I placed a parlay. I was just I was just itching for ball and I placed a $10 parlay on DraftKings. And I did I can read it to you. It was it was one that I was like, there's no way this is actually gonna hit. I think I just had 10 bucks in my account and I was like, I'll do it. I cashed out early, which probably was a mistake,

but also it was week one and I was like, let's not get greedy, you know? I had, oof. Same facts. That account balance He's a changed man You can't say shit to say is now money sass. Let's see. I saw you buying a pink fur coat today I didn't know what that was about I think it was like plus a hundred thousand the parlay

No, I'm serious. I think it was. Oh, I guess I just screen shot. There's no way. Cause if that were true, then you would have won $10,000. But I cashed out and one of the bets got voided too. It was $10 to pay off $3,000. Yeah, that's not, that's plus. But then I had the, I had the Dolphins minus three.

Hold on, where did I send it to you guys? Not plus 100,000. Oh I'm not plus 100,000. Oh, it's plus 15,000. There we go. You basically hit nine in a row and then it came to the Sunday night game. You're like, should I cash this out? And then nobody answered,

so you just said, I'm cashing it out. I had Eagles' money line, Bill's money line, Saints' money line, Texans' money line, Miami Dolphins minus three, Steelers' money line, Bears' money line, Cowboys' money line, line, Bears money line, Cowboys money line, Bucks money line, Lions money line, 49ers money line. I mean, holy shit. How many of these hit? Every one of them.

And if you hadn't cashed out, you also had the Lions to win. The Lions to win, which I'm happy I cashed out because I was getting... It was a sweat. It was late in the game. It was late. I cashed out at halftime when they were up. And I was like, I don't really feel... I was tired because I was getting it was a sweat. It was late in the game It was late It was I cash out a halftime when they were up and I was like, I don't really feel I was tired and I was like I don't really feel like Watching this the rest of this game with my entire focus and like sweating through this last half and then I went to OT Well, you're a micro better. You just bought yourself like three years of micro I know I'm not gonna have to put money back in my account for the rest of so so hold on a second

So and also I kind of wanted to I didn't want to have to sleep through it and then wait for tonight, because I have 49ers winning. Oh, okay. If it had won fully and you had not cashed out, you would have won 1,500 bucks. I would have won 1,500 because I got voided with the Dolphins minus three.

Because they pushed. Because it was exactly minus three. Yeah. That's actually nice that they don't count that as a loser. Yeah. I think that's a pretty good- I think if you get it exactly, it's always a push. I think that's a pretty good cash out from you, I guess.

I don't know, if you only bet 10 bucks at that point, like- Turn it down to 600. Yeah, but I don't want to get greedy I had seven I cashed out for seven hundred dollars on a ten dollar bet how many of your legs had hit at that point? nine nine out of ten out of eleven and One was voided one was void so you had to wait for tonight if the dolphin what you should have Game tonight, but I didn't know it looks like the Lions were gonna lose You should have hedged on the game tonight.

But I didn't know it looks like the Lions were going to lose. So he would have had to have to. It looked until the very end of the game, like the Lions were going to lose. Well, went to OT. Yeah. And the Lions were winning or the Rams were winning with like two minutes left in the fourth. Yeah. It was very close. Yeah, I mean, I could have I have a feeling it's going to hit. I have a feeling the 49ers will win tonight.

So realistically, it probably would have hit and I could have made 1500. gonna hit. I have a feeling the 49ers will win tonight. So like realistically it probably would have hit and I could have made 1500, but whatever, who cares? 600's amazing. 700, 700, sorry. $800 less. $800 amazing. I mean that's a good week one. You lost $800.

Selfish, you're a greedy man. A greedy, greedy man. The boys are sharp. Francis and Sass both won their fantasy football. Yes. Yeah, and look, I want to address it. I was getting a lot of shit for saying that Travis Kelsey is washed.

And? He's washed. I'm not saying he's bad at football. Be prepared for the Swifties, bro. But he's not going to be a good fantasy player. he's not going to be he's not gonna be a good fantasy player He's not gonna be playing every single game Why do you are you so sure that dude he played he didn't he had he caught the ball twice last game In like a competitive game when they needed him

Yeah, still I just wouldn't say it I think that's the kind of thing that you sweep under the rug Yeah, you don't want fucking the wrath of Kelly Keegs and Gia. Dude, I mean my backup tight ends all did better than Travis Kelsey. That's, that was my point, was that I, that's why I didn't want to draft Travis Kelsey. Trade me Travis Kelsey. I will gladly trade you Travis Kelsey. Pick someone on my roster. A non-starter that you want. I'll give you Travis, you give me Travis Kelsey, I'll give you Drake May.

You cut Drake May. Yeah, I'll draft him again. I'll bring you Travis. Give me Travis Kelsey. I'll give you Drake May. You cut Drake May. And yeah, I'll draft him again. I'll bring him back. Jake Ferguson had one or two less points than Travis Kelsey, and he got hurt. Who picks him up from my bench? No. You just said you trade me. Now, no one wants to hear us talk about our fantasy league. You brought this up. You brought up fantasy. I said, let's talk ball.

You said, let's talk ball. And then you brought up fantasy and bets. I had such a good time doing nothing. Eat the chop. Fuck Put update the chop counter That's one chop for me. I'm fucking slacking bro. It's it's actually such a burden to host Because you have to like there's so many Pets like you don't know. And then you start saying stuff that's factually incorrect. Now I know why Sass is always talking out of his ass because he is a host.

Just trying to keep the conversation going. But I will say no one wants to hear people talk about A, their bets and even worse, their fantasy team. I was only doing that for you. No, I'll gladly talk ball. There's a big difference between talking ball and talking your bets in your fantasy league. Is there? There absolutely is. We should start doing gambling caves just us guys.

No. Talking ball, not fantasy. Where did you watch the games? My apartment. Solo? So, yes. How did you sit? What was you, like, what was your body position when you were watching? Well, so I had five spots on Saturday, and then I had to wake up really early to go play softball in Central Park, and we lost.

And then I biked home, and I got back right at one. I talked to Derek about it. Dude, he's so crazy. I confronted him. Well, I was like, I heard about it. And he was so funny Well, I was like, I heard about it. And he was so funny where he was like, I mean, dude, they're listening to music during the

game. Dude, yesterday he tried to come in with like a more positive vibe. And then when we left, everyone was like, all right, see, and he's like, he's like, he's like, genuinely, I don't want to talk to any of you guys ever again. He was so mad, dude. And then someone was leaving and they took a photo of two of the dudes that we played against and he sent it in the group chat and he was like, I'm going to kill these guys. And then Derek replied and said, no, kill yourself. Dude, he was in the green room at the stand and he was waiting to host and he was like,

I don't feel well, man, my blood sugar's crashing. I was riding a bike home earlier and I just felt it and I just threw up on the side of the bike. He's like, I hit this old Chinese guy going through Chinatown. I looked back and just yelled sorry and kept biking. He hit a guy on his bike? Imagine you're walking down the streets

and someone on a bike throws up on you and then keeps going. Oh, you hit him with a throw up? I think it was worse than that. He said that he was biking and he pulled over and threw up on 10 people. And then just said he projectile vomited right onto the sidewalk and then just kept going.

Chinatown is, there's some parts of it that are nasty though. I think, yeah, I think you're allowed to do that. They might've been thankful. Yeah. Like, oh, clean this up. No Chinese accent, I didn't do a Chinese accent. You did you definitely did. No, I did not. Yeah, that's just how you usually talk No, clean yourself. If I had done a Chinese accent you would have known

Okay, it's way different. That's pretty good. You don't think I know. That's like Al Pacino's Chinese accent Pretty good Last samurai the Derek posted a story last night of That scene in money was like when I get home my girlfriend asked me how softball was and it's the scene in moneyball Where they lose the first game and Jonah Hill is like, it's only the first game and and Brad Pitt's like I care about this He's like I'm care about this. He's like, I'm never going to get over this. But yeah, we got smoked. I was talking to them because there's a mercy rule.

I think it's if they're winning by 10, it's over. And I was like, have you guys ever showed up and lost by 10 in the first inning and then just had to go home after like 10 minutes? And they're like the last game of last year. They went all the way to Central Park. It's like 30 minutes for everybody. And then they lost in 10 minutes and then just had to go home right away. I would just be like, you guys want to keep? Yeah, guys want to

keep going? Yeah, just for fun. Yeah. Are you enjoying it? Is it fun? Yes, it's blast. It was good too. Because I got like 10,000 steps before noon yesterday. You walked all the way there? Well, I biked both ways, and then you're there for an hour running around. Good.

So I didn't feel bad about just sitting on the couch the rest of the day. But I was fucking exhausted yesterday. So it was a battle to stay awake through all the ball. From the 10,000 steps? No, from waking up, from going to bed at like three in the morning and waking up at eight. Damn.

I went on a hike with my dog and there was a pond and it had a rope swing. And I was about to go think about going off the rope swing when two people, probably a little younger than I am, I think they were brother and sister, came up towards me. And it was a man and a woman, but I think they were siblings, because they looked very similar,

and the girl was topless. Whoa. They were like, hi, how are you? She was just walking around with her tits out? Yeah. Did you look? Well, I couldn't not. You what?

There was no, she was coming from far. Yeah, I would have been eyes glued. How could you even tell they looked alike? They're definitely not brother and sister. What? There was no... She was coming from far and... No, I would have been eyes glued. How could you even tell they looked alike? They're definitely not brother and sister. I'm telling you... I'm telling you, they were brother and sister. I pray that they weren't.

They were so similar looking. That's like everyone though. Huh? Everyone. They were the same height and they were both Ethnic something but of the exact same race. Well, guess which race might have been Filipino What? You should have asked we were in the middle of the woods and there it was like a small body of water

It's probably their safe space to be as this girl was was topless. How was she like, attempt to cover up at all? No, no, no. She's a voyeur. Where was this? Exhibitions. They were very happy to see me, very kind.

Was this upstate? Yeah. What the hell? And I had, I didn't know what to make of it. I guess my question is this, where does the world stand on topless? There's a big movement about it, like 15 or like probably like 12, 10 years ago.

I mean, I wouldn't be complaining, but. I'm not complaining, I'm just, I was curious. Were they a good set? Hmm? Was it a good set of tits? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Answer him. I was, I, they were fine. They were fine. They were, I was troubled by the, what I perceived to be the brother sister dynamic. Yeah. I was troubled by that. Was his dick out? No.

He was fully covered. He was wearing shorts. Short shorts. Yeah. Kind of easy access. Hmm. I was fully covered. He was wearing shorts. Short shorts? Yeah, kind of. Easy access? I don't know. What the fuck? That's so weird.

They were the same height. Maybe they're doing like an OnlyFans shoot or something. There were also other people swimming in the pond, but they were on the other side. It was a pretty big pond. Were they naked too? No, not at all. There used to be a woman that walked around Philly with her titties out exercising her

First Amendment right to show her titties. We were, me and Owen were walking home one time in Hell's Kitchen and there was an Only Fans girl with her tits out just walking down the street with like a big ass security guard and a camera. Filming herself? Yeah. As she walked? We were, if there's probably an Only Fans video somewhere of a girl walking down the

street and then me and Owen just staring at her tits as she walks by. And then the dude Teddy just comes up to her and says, what do you do for a living? Yeah. I once walked in a Free the Nipple parade and shot that for Barstool. And I'll tell you that while it felt empowering, because it was marched through Times Square and down. You saw that on the side of this parade, that there were guys with telephoto lenses who would take 150 photos as the parade passed and then pull out, sprint ahead to catch it again

and take more photos. And you were like, dude, how is this the thing that you feel the need to create a Spank Bang from? It's insane. But also I do remember being like a preteen and going on the Philadelphia Inquirer website whenever there was like the naked bike ride through the city and like going through a slideshow. How come you guys have that? What? The naked bike ride. Yeah, like the naked bike ride through the city and like going through a lot of shows have that

What the naked bike yeah, Philly naked bike ride. Oh, yeah, Dino. You're doing he has a funny show about that. Yeah He has a really funny joke about it just scrolling through the slideshow pictures and it's just like Really just a wayward dick and like the worst the worstits you've ever seen in your life. Yeah. There's nothing sexy about it is my point. Interesting. Are they are they're riding bicycles with their clam flapping around on it? Yep and penises. Ah. Which has to be like the bike seats not really built for that. It's gotta be uncomfortable. Are they using their clam to grip? I don't like how you keep on calling it clam. Well what's your preferred word? Use a word.

Take a better word. Vagina. That's gross, dude. Cunt. What are you, a fucking teacher? You're a technician? Cunt is nice. Anything is better than clam.

If I said that, are they using their cunt to grab the bike seat? I would have rather you said that. I would fucking chop myself. I would rather you say that than say it. That is grotesque. No. I think one chop for you for saying cunt, bro.

You can't say clam. You can't say it when you're actually referring to a vagina. You say it about a cheeky Australian. Yeah, people are cunts. Vaginas are not. Australian bros are funny cunts. That's the nicest way to say it.

Clam is nasty. You call a woman a cunt, that's the second nastiest. And then if you actually talk about a vagina, clam is so gross. I'm from Maine. We have a lot of seafood and it's fresh. I had mudflats that abutted my house. Mudflats?

Yeah, the water would flat out and the clamors would go out there. They'd get a bunch of clams. I'd rather you call it mudflat. I like to refer to a vagina as mudflats. No, that's the land between the butthole and the clam. The mudflat. The mudflat.

Mudflat leads to the mudflat. The gooch. The gooch is the mudflats. That is inventive. That is an inventive bit of slang. I grow weary of that same old slang. So something fresh and new like a mudflat. Mudflat is good. Mudflat could be something. Dude I have this fucking scratch on my nose

from tussling with my my puppy but I can't stop thinking about the fucking wonders of the human body that it's just literally going to miraculously heal and I find myself yearning to do to like And I find myself yearning to do to like to hurt yourself No to to do something to do something with my body. That's like the fitting of the miracle That is my body every day like I feel like they're there Like we don't deserve these fucking awesome ass bodies that we have like that You're fucking your skin will actually just heal up when you're fucking ripped up like that. Or people just like...

Like, people in trailer parks just dumping fucking like two liters of soda a day into their fucking gullet and their fucking liver just deals with it or whatever. Like, we just do nothing to deserve these fucking miracle sacks that we live in. No. Exactly. I try to treat mine pretty well.

I try to keep the engine running pretty clean. Yeah? Yeah. Although, you know, I was in a little bit of a downward spiral there for a while. And I will say that this past week, I was very conscious about my drinking. Very nice.

You touched nature, only had 16 drinks a night. I had, I think I had 10 drinks over the course of the week, which still sounds like a ton. It's not a ton if you drink like beers, but I know what you drank and it's- I had, but I drank- 10 Manhattans. No, I only had one Manhattan this past week.

And then how many Negronis? I had like four Negronis. And then what was the other cocktail? Oh, well, it was a couple of shots. Yeah, exactly. There was a couple of shots and then a margarita and then like two beers, something like that is what I had. And they weren't light beers.

They were the heaviest IPA they have. No, it was over the course of like, oh yeah, that's true. Tall boys, 16 ounce, double hazy IPAs in a frosted glass. So it cuts it. All boys, 16 ounce, double hazy IPAs in a frosted glass. So it cuts it. But it was over the course of like four, maybe four days of drinking. Cause I think I took three days off. I don't know, dude.

It still feels like a lot. Like if I thought that was less drinking for me, that's troubling. But I'm going to try to get under 10 this week. I don't really think you need to be doing much. Keep drinking bro. You are the one who inspired me. But I don't want to inspire anybody.

Too bad. I shouldn't be too late. You are don't have a drink. If you don't have a drink, if you don't have a drinking problem, if you don't have a drinking problem, then just keep drinking. Why are you? Who are you to tell me I don't have a drinking problem? Because I've seen you drink and you don't have a,

I'm joking with you. Four Manhattan's, four Margaritas, shots. Because dude, you drink like two cocktails and you're like, you're like, whoa, I should probably go home. No, I don't say that. I don't say that. I'm like, I'm not gonna be out till 3 a.m.

drinking fucking beers. Exactly. So then keep drinking. He doesn't, he wants sobriety to be his thing. Yeah, but by the way, no, I don't be drinking Liquor drinks and cocktails to me is more troubling than having beer But you're drinking two cocktails. I would drink like 15 beers Rowan weigh in what do you think? I think beers are a

beers. Rowan, weigh in. What do you think? I think beers are a nasty poison. I went back to beers this weekend after. I avoid beers pretty much all the time. Beers make me feel so shitty, make whatever's coming out of my body a fucking disaster. Yeah. And makes my next day feel so much worse than having a cocktail. I mean, people say clear liquor. Clear liquor is probably the best thing to drink. If you're gonna be drinking something. Tequila specifically, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Upper, not a downer. Yeah. Is there truth to that? I mean. I think it's all downers. It's still an alcohol, it's still a downer. All alcohol's a depressant, yeah. But if it makes you fight though,

if it makes you get into fisticuffs. Well that's like whiskey. Yeah. Whiskey. Tequila doesn't, oh, tequila makes your clothes fall off. Exactly. That's what it is. Exactly. I knew. Tequila doesn't, or tequila makes your clothes fall off. Exactly. That's what it is.

I knew it was some nasty shit like that. One shot of tequila, I'm with my older sister and we're just fucking walking through the woods naked. Let's fill up one of the tiny airplane bottles full of Casa Azul. Let's hit a hike That's preposterous family hiking upstate shirtless I'm fully clothes. She's fucking topless sonny I'm wearing a down jacket

They were else's ass naked was it what do you what's your best Was it a... My best guess is that they're not siblings. But her motivation, was she trying to be an exhibitionist? Was she trying to sun her titties and get an even tan? Was it for the health benefits of getting more sun? I think these two people were children of the corn. They are progressive, hippie, alternative people who don't believe in binding their bodies beneath clothing. The hiking culture as well. The hiking culture is very- They weren't even- I didn't think that they were hiking. They weren't- they were there to just be

in the pond. I remember doing a hike in Wyoming and we got to the top and we saw one of my- we saw Bo had two friends, two girls that were coming down when we were going up and they were like, we were just skinny dipping up there. And then we got up there and there was like a hundred people and we were like, you guys were skinny dipping up here? It's like a pretty populated area. I think those people don't care. It was the same dude with the telephoto lens.

Just fucking. The hiking culture, I agree with you, Sass, is kind of an annoying bunch. Oh yeah. The way that they thrust their granola Ism dirtbags, they're called in front of you. Yeah, it's like just because you bought some fucking Hoka boots doesn't mean you have to stop shaving your armpits Yeah, careful because you're about to start describing SAS as fishing experience Wow you're about to start describing SAS as fishing experience. Oh, wow.

How? You just buy a bunch of like fishing gear and then make it your entire personality. That's because I go fishing all the time. And these people go hiking all the time. But I'm not fishing with my fucking dick swinging through my waders. I don't have a whole cut in my waders for my dick to hang out of them. You're saying just because these people are exhibitionists, that makes them less than. Yeah, I mean, you can enjoy the outdoors

and not be a fucking weirdo. I agree with that. I also didn't know that Filipino people had progressive cultures. I don't, yeah, I don't know. I thought they just did like karaoke. They were short, that's why I say Filipino. That's pretty much all I've got on that hunch.

Not even Asian. Were they white? They were not white. They were not white. But they could have been Guatemalan or Venezuelan. I'm not great at telling apart my... You didn't know from the tits? Those tits are Guatemalan. Who in this office would be best suited to like... Glennie. I bet Glennie. Absolutely Glennie. Glennie would see just the nipples.

We need to do like a geoguesser of tits around the world so Glennie can fucking. Off the nipples alone Glennie would be like Colombian. You could triangulate them to like the area of Colombia. Geoguesser of nipples. Let's see here. He would crush that. Glennie's built for it. He's built for the titties. Let's see here. He would crush that. Glennie's built for it. He's built for the titties.

And I respect it. I fucking love Glennie with my whole fucking heart, even though he hates everyone. That's a fact. I wonder why. That's odd. Because he's better than everyone. Damn. That's why. Pretty simple. We all fucking know that.

That's known. Let's get back to ball real quick. Caleb Williams bust Really they won Yeah, they don't ask how many Williams have anything to do with the wind. They don't ask how they ask how many Caleb Williams is a bus Jacobi Burset is God Drake may is God even though he didn't even play I thought he was going to when Burset got hurt We watching red zone or were you watching the feed? No, I watched Red Zone on my laptop

and then I have the actual game on my TV. You gotta get five CVs or you're not gonna get renewed. I gotta get the other TV working though. Bo Nix, potential. Jaden Daniels, really good. Probably the best rookie quarterback. What do you see about Bo Nix? It makes you think he's got potential?

He's white. Now Bo Nix just looked good. He was completing passes. I mean, dude, Caleb Williams was playing like it was college, brother. We're in the NFL. He was just bombing. Yeah, he was just. Sucked.

He was going long and all. Didn't he go like nine for 18 or some shit? They don't ask how, they ask how many. And he had like less than 100 yards, something like that. First off, fewer than 100 yards. This has been bothering me the whole podcast and I'm glad you finally said some fewer than 100 yards have I been talking? Have I been saying that I say the word less rather than fewer multiple times? Yes, you've made this

mistake a few times. Now that's my bad. I'll own that. That's two chops for you. That's two chops for me. Fewer, you have less of anything that you can't count, but fewer, you have less applesauce. Don't care, literally never cared less. Less applesauce, fewer peas. Literally have never cared fewer. I've never cared fewer than this. The joy in your eyes as you made that grammar joke. Oh yeah, class me.

Or I'm actually going to take a chop back for how joyful you are. I was hanging out with Rich Voss the entire weekend. I've been coming quick. You've been getting him some coffee? I gotta be quick. Yeah. You have to fucking get him his. He's hilarious.

He was showing me he's been playing the slots. He won like a, he won a $300,000 jackpot on a $1 bet on slots. And then he said that he just couldn't sleep and he just laid in bed for like 10 hours straight with his heart just racing. That's a great hit. Where was it?

I don't know, Jersey, I think. What the fuck? What casinos are in Jersey? No, on his phone. What? Laying in bed, he hit that bed. What? Yeah. He just won three hundred thousand dollars.

That's sweet, except for when Uncle Sam comes forward. When Uncle Sam takes half of that. My boy Mike was up this weekend and he said that Uncle Sam hit him for three scratch offs of eight hundred dollars in twenty twenty two. They just hit him. And they're like, yeah, we're gonna need our taxes on this. That's crazy. What the fuck?

What if you already spent it all? That's what he definitely did. That's only 800 bucks. Dig back into your reserve so you can pay Uncle Sam for your little scratch off. That's so stupid. That's so nasty. Uncle Sam needs a real, he needs a talking to.

Dude, I got tax late assessment penalties for almost every single city I performed in in 2023. Really? And it was always like you owe $210 more for Providence. You owe $208 more for California. Yeah, I just got hit with New York the other day. The Fed's trying to other day The feds found out that I owe a lot more in New York It's trying to make their deficit back off you promise you don't you don't get the fucking bill until it's I don't know Way late, and then I didn't even see it and so then I got hit with another interest payment

You know in some other countries that their taxes they just get a bill and they're like this is how much you owe Pay it Why do we have to do all of the math ourselves this is a fucking sick bit so not a bit who I feel like there's somebody if I were willing to do all math myself I would have been an accountant there you go exactly yeah that's not what I was going for at all. But instead of an accountant, I became a comedian. That's right. I'm an actual accountant. I hate this. I hate what just happened.

It's your bit, bro. To the point that I'm like, this might be my last episode on the podcast. It's just a good bit, bro. I don't know why that just infuriated me. Speaking of accountants. That's your bits, bro. Now that's what it's like watching you on stage. Not even close.

Not even close. When are you bringing back the Tuesday show? Never. You ever try to do your own taxes? Because I don't know. I don't like running shows, it sucks. Just like call him, do the work. He doesn't want to do the work either.

He's too big. No, he just is a pain in the ass. You guys did that for a long time. Yeah, probably like a year and a half, two years. I'm surprised by how long it lasted. It was fun. It went well in the beginning. I mean, we were talking about the problem

was that when we started, we were both, the biggest perk was that we were drinking for free, and that all the comics on the show were able to drink for free, because it was a free show. I came and I got free beers. Yes, so. They said, say you're a comic.

Yeah, you just have to go up and take a comic. I think I was like, tell me a joke. And I was like, oh fuck. I hit him with the back doctor one. Yeah, you didn't hit him with the accountant joke? I didn't have it yet. But, and then when I stopped drinking, and then Colum cut back on drinking,

so it was like, now we were just doing this show. And then we realized the show just started sucking. I don't know. It was a whole thing. Who cares? Not me. That's for damn sure. You've always been listening to music. No. Or just podcasts. I've been listening to only podcasts.

I feel like my mood is so much different when I listen to podcasts versus listening to music, especially on the commute. I feel so good when I listen to podcasts versus listening to music, especially on the commute. I feel so good when I listen to music. I've been listening to a lot of reggae, a lot of white boy reggae though, stick figure specifically. Snow.

Dude, dry. Dream farmer. And make it a little everyday. Dude, biking, when it's like nice, got that nice crisp fall air. I'm so pumped you're biking now. When did you get into this? Throwing a little Rastafari in.

A little Rastafari. Rastafari. Throwing a little Rast on while you're biking home. Oh, it's so great. When did you get into the biking? Oh, like a month ago. Nice. Yeah, I've taken one Uber in the last month.

I don't Uber at all. It's so nice. I bike everywhere. Doesn't it change your view of how you can get around the city, makes everything more accessible. You're on your own time. Yeah, I did have my first close call almost hitting someone the other day though. Should be a helmet.

Oh no, I almost hit this dude because it was like, so I live where I live. It's a very big like going out area and I was biking to the stand and there's all these like drunk people waiting on the sidewalk to get into some bar and then I'm flying through and some dude just steps right into the bike lane as I'm passing him and I slam on the brakes and my wheel is pretty much against his leg and then he looks at me and for some reason I said sorry. I was like so sorry about that that's my bad and then he was like oh no worries and then I took off and then I was biking and the whole time I was like I didn't do anything wrong. I was like, you just backed into the bike lane.

Not thinking you got to hit him with a, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Yeah, I did do that. You did. I also flipped off a taxi driver on the way home from the stand. And then I had, I didn't sleep for maybe eight hours after that. Cause my adrenaline was just through the roof. You were like Rick, Rick, Rich Voss. Hey, yeah, with the bed.

Yeah, dude. I, I, well, I was, I was going I was merging on to seventh av and I was waiting because the light was red And I guess there was a dude that was the taxi driver behind me was trying to take a right and he honked at me And I'm directly in front of his car. So the honk is up your ass through your spine Yeah, yeah body jiggles and then I and then so then I'm getting on my bike to move and as I'm going to move, he honks again. I would cat dog him at that point. And then I flipped him off.

And I, but then I was replaying that in my head too. And I was like, I wish I'd just stayed in front of his car. Yeah, Tiger cat. Yeah. That's what it's called. When you just go super slow in front of someone who's angry. I wish I just mounted my bike directly in front of him

so that he could not move. But you never know if he's gonna actually not hit you. As a cab driver, if he hits me, I am rich. Billionaire. Wait, why? Because cabs are owned by the city, aren't they? No, but you have to, but the medallions cost a lot of money or something.

That's true. I thought a cab was run through the city somehow. No. That's just anyone that wants. No, but think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don that's a place I never want to be at. It's like where you'd, it kind of feels like where you think that they bring all the horses from Central Park to water them at night. And give them fresh shoes. Do you ever see the lines of cabs at the airport? Yeah. And it's two miles long, five lanes wide.

And they're just sitting there. Yeah. It's always, it's two miles long, five of them are being used. And they're just sitting there. Yeah. It always, it's shocking to me. Yeah. So if I let that cab hit me, I wouldn't have made any money. No, you would have. Make some, but I don't know how, I don't think it's the way that you think it is.

I realistically wouldn't have made any money because if the cab hit me, if I was sitting in front of the cab and then he bumped into me, I probably would not have gone home and be like well. I'm pressing charges No, you really want to get hit by like a dump truck. Yeah, or like a mailman USPS Amazon truck yeah Amazon Walmart. That's what happened to Tracy Morgan really rumors are he got paid out like 90 million for that and then And then and then the other guy who was in the car with him,

the other comic, who's the host at the cellar all the time. How much did he get paid out? Like $28 or something. Million? Holy shit. Dude, it's Walmart, and it's Tracy Morgan. They settled.

There was no amount they weren't gonna pay him. He's like an outspoken, famous person who would continue to talk about it. Does he still talk about it? I'd get paid would continue to talk about it. Does he still talk about it? He had a great joke at like the Oscars or the Emmys or something, where he was like, I woke up from a coma. Oh, he got hit hard.

Oh, they were both in comas. Oh, I didn't know that. It was really bad. And the Walmart truck driver had broken rules. Like he'd driven past the legal amount of time. So he was exhausted. Yeah. And he like...

That's a big thing in the city. Uber drivers will drive the max amount and then they'll switch to lift and just keep going for like 20 hours. I told you the story about how the time I had to grab the wheel for the Uber driver I was with. No, I don't remember that. Because he was drifting, he was asleep,

and he was drifting into the breakdown lane. That's crazy. And then I told him to pull over and I drove the car the rest of the way. What? Three buddies in the back. I think I wrote a blog about this. That's crazy.

Owen had one where he was in the tunnel. Long Island Expressway. We were on the highway, we were going 65. That's crazy. My driver Completely asleep. Maybe he's just an anti-breakdown laying guy. Maybe he's just trying to do your bit. We were drifting over and my buddy in the back goes,

hey, hey, hey, hey! At which point I grabbed the wheel and pulled us gently back. And I go, did you just fall asleep? And he goes, yes. And I was like, do you want me to drive the rest of the way? And he's like, I think that's a good idea. We pulled into the other shoulder, the other side,

because there's a median. Yeah. And we were heading left. Did he sleep when he sat in the passenger seat? I don't remember. That would be hilarious if he just crashed out the whole, the rest of the drive, but like woke up to take another ride real quick.

Yeah, yeah. He hears that, he hears the. And just automatically takes it. Swipe. The only thing Uber did for that was they didn't charge us for that ride. That's fucking insane. That's all they did. They probably deported the guy who did it. Well, I told you about the time where I got in the thing where I got scammed

in the Uber when I first moved to New York. The Uber driver took my phone and canceled the ride and then charged me like $300. And I was going through it with Uber for like a week being like, I got to get something out of this. And then they were like, they eventually they were like, you're gonna have to file a police report. That's how they just they they win. As soon as they say that they win. Yeah, they know no one's filing a police report. I've filed a police report, not on Uber, when that guy stole my city bike. What did he do? Remember that? I posted that video. You're telling a lot of stories. I haven't heard any of these stories.

Yeah. I walked into the UPS store and I had my city bike right outside. And then I was in for one minute, I came out and was gone. Yeah, and I got the bodega security camera from next door and they have on video the guy just walking up, taking the bike walking off. But how long did he take? Like, how much did they charge you? So the bikes are like 1500 bucks. That's why I cared so much. But when I've like gone to docking stations

where it doesn't work, I'll just leave it at the docking station. Someone else will take it for a ride. It winds up being like $20. You do that? I've done it twice. That is ballsy. That's risky, dude.

I was coming home this weekend and all, it was two in the morning and all of the docks by my apartment were filled. And I had to park like a mile away and walk. Yeah. But I was thinking about it. I was like, why don't I just love I just left this. I did. I left it before in at the Navy Yard in Brooklyn.

And I got a notification being like, seems like your bike's been inactive for a while, so we shut it down. Like, don't worry about it. Oh, I'm never going to start. I'm just going to start parking at my apartment. We do it so often. Bring you right at the door. You're so often. Bring it in. Cause you're right at the door. They're so heavy.

Ah! Ah! Having five people help me carry it up the stairs. Who left his bike here? Those things are in the, the, the, the silver ones are like Insane. 600 pounds. I've seen a homeless guy bring one on the subway before.

Yeah. And I was like, there is so much wrong with this picture right now. It's probably worth a billion dollars in scrap metal though, because it's a fucking tank. Dude, when you when you're backing it out of the dock and you have to like lift it up to forget it. It's like, I'm using all of the strength in my bicep to lift it up. Yeah. I bet I bet

we me and you probably have diamond medallion status on. I wonder is their status. Oh, yeah. Oh, I got my diamond daggitabbers guys members of city bike yeah are you need to do that yeah I'm not I need to oh you're probably paying I've already paid like uh like a hundred times over yeah what are you doing get the yearly pass it's a joke because I'm trying to I'm trying to see if it's if I'm gonna keep riding it when it gets cold it's so worth it yeah I'll do it what are. What are you doing? It doesn't get cold here. It's like $120 or something.

Yeah. It does get cold here. What are you talking about? Not anymore. Driving on a bike? Not anymore. If you need just a pair of gloves is all you need. We had some rides last year in the cold that were,

we had one ride that was as cold as it's ever been. Francis didn't have gloves. He was just screaming. Yeah, gloves, my hands getting cold is one thing that I can't do that's like when I'm the biggest pussy That's tough a man out of fan my hands getting cold and my neck getting cold I did my cold plunge this weekend, and it was like early morning and cold out didn't it felt very different Oh when it's actually I'm not so sure how much of a man I'm gonna be

trying to get into my cold plunge in December. 36 degree water. That's when you're gonna have to break the ice? Yeah. That's the mainliest way of doing it though. I know. It's actually outside. Oh my God.

You still got to whim-hoff. You still got to whim-hoff. Just whim-hoff through it, brother. I was breathing hard. What are you, whim-hoffing? I don't know how to do that. Whim-hoff when you're in it, dude. I was breathing hard. What are you Wim Hoffing? I don't know how to do that. Wim Hof, when you're in it, dude, he swims in the Arctic.

Yeah, I'm not trying to get to that. He goes to Antarctica and cold plunges there for like three hours straight. Just trying to have five minutes a piece. And he's swimming around like back stroking, like it's a fucking hot tub. Just trying to not write goodbyes notes to my family. That's all I need.

I don't need to- It's too much organization. Watch penguins swim. Your goodbye note would be both beautiful but also long-winded. Oh, I would get halfway through and I'd be like, I got the gist. Get it, Ben. Say goodbye, regret this. Yeah, I get it. Oh man.

Good bit. Good classic riff there. Good fucking. That's gonna be making the clips. That's gonna be on TikTok. Oh, big time. I had to re-download TikTok from my don't tell. And I was like, I was like, oh man, this is gonna become such a problem when I use this

so much. I've opened it once and the first thing I saw, I just immediately sw this can become such a problem. I'm gonna use this so much. I've opened it once. And the first thing I saw, I just immediately swiped out of the app. I was like, this app is so bad. What was the thing you saw? I don't know, some girl just bitching about something. You gotta get into the, you gotta get to the first amendment audit section.

I opened it up and I commented and I just said, what is this bitch yapping about now? And then I closed out of the app. You gotta get to Amiganset set press with the fries in the bag Someone commented that on one of my clips and I was like, what does that mean? And then I saw it in another place and I was like, oh It pretty much means just like you suck. Oh, yeah serving fries. Yes. Yes, I get it You're gonna be serving fries on the way to my ski trip with my family

maybe But at least I'll be original but at least I'll be original serving fries on the way to my ski trip with my family. Maybe. But at least I'll be original. But at least I'll be original. I wrote a blog about that scene where I was like, the fucking ponytail guy won that argument. Oh yeah, smoked him. By a mile. Smoked him.

Anytime that someone has to be like, oh yeah, then let's fight, let's go outside. You've beaten that person. Yeah, big time. Yeah. That's what I think whenever I see a fucking Charlie Kirk video on TikTok. You got to start watching Charlie Kirk destroy the college kids. But then some college kid just might have destroyed him back, bro. Fucking he might've got destroyed.

I'm not familiar. You got to get back on the talk. You got to get back on the talk. Just watch people get destroyed in arguments. Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm not familiar. You gotta get back on the talk. Just watch people get destroyed in arguments. Yeah, I'm not big on that. It's too, well I was gonna say it's brain rot, but I've been really into this Instagram account. John Pork. You guys familiar with John Pork? No. He's the best. John Pork? John Pork. We might have to clip this in because of how good it is.

I've been obsessed. John Pork, we might have to clip this in because of how good it is. I've been obsessed with John Pork the last day. There's Drake Pork, John Pork, he's so funny. Holy shit, that's so much porks. John Pork on my wrist, John Pork on my wrist. Lizzy on my waist, what? Lizzy to your face, brim is to your game. Yeah. That's the hockey way. Yeah. You an old alpha.

Man you washed up. That's the definition of brain rot. I know I was watching some like grime Harry Potter characters like Dobby the elf doing like grime songs with like full AI and they're fucking incredible. Dude I want to see that. I want to see that. I want to see that. I want to see that.

I want to see that. I want to see that. I want to see that. I want to see that. I want to see that. I want to see that. No, I was watching some like grime Harry Potter characters like Dobby the elf Songs with like full AI and they're fucking incredible dude. I watched John pork for This is Drake You know, I wish I could say anything to you, but I've gotten back into watching the different cars crashing at different speeds. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And like how bad the damage is at 20 miles an hour and 30 miles an hour and 40. And I'm like, surely it can't get any worse than the 50. And then it goes to 70.

Dude, I was watching those and one of them, the survival rate was like negative five. For like 20 minutes straight, I was like, what would a negative five survival rate be? I was like, what does it mean when you're in the negatives? And the entire time the answer is just nothing. It doesn't mean anything. There's not possible to be negative dead. You know what the one that's a lie?

Yeah, you're right. It might be guaranteed immortality, negative five. One thing I saw that was really cool though, was cars hitting a pothole at different speeds. Yeah. Where the lower speeds were bad, but then the faster and faster that it went, the less it actually did damage.

Yeah, cause you just, you go over it. Well you figure, yeah, the car is not, it's not dipping down, right? So like the wheel is just sort of staying flush to the top of the hole It's like the season and speed where they jump the bus Yeah, you just got to be going fast enough or when it's the wrecking ball hitting like a truck or whatever I like that one. Those ones are good. Why are they sad? Why does that satisfy? I'm pretty good I was telling this I was talking about this with Francis. I think I'm pretty good about

I'm pretty good. I was telling this I was talking about this with Francis. I think I'm pretty good about Opening Instagram and then the first dumb thing I see I just closed I don't have that at all. I forgot I fell deep into the grasp of John pork. I was watching that for an hour That's exactly your sense of humor Did he party did he party? glizzy on my waist And I know you were telling the truth because you had already liked the video. Yeah. Yeah.

I was howling at John pork. John pork. Alone howling is then you know something is truly funny. You start laughing at something alone. Golly. What a freaking feeling. Galizzi on my waist. I'm going to have to follow the boy pork.

Bum, bada, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Played a lot of Black Ops 6 this weekend. How did you do? How did you shoot them straight? No, I'm pretty bad at that game. It's pretty frustrating because I've always been good at Call of Duty. And this one I struggle with. I did have a 26 and five game though that I was pretty excited about. Super happy for you.

26 kills, five deaths? Oh, you know what I love about, I love the, yes, the KD. I love the- He's trying to be part of your life. I love when you get a kill and the guy talks. There's one where I kill a guy and then my guy, he goes, send flowers.

I love it. It gives me the chills. And then I kill like 30 more people. Yeah, I goes, send flowers. I love it. You know, it gives me the chills. And I kill like 30 more people. Yeah, I get too fired up. Yeah. Send flowers. It is like being like a stepdad, being like, what are you? So what are you into? What are they kids talking about?

You just try to be like, I mean, can we talk about the Patriots beating the Bengals? Was that not the most incredible thing you've ever seen? The Bengals didn't have a single skill position player. Yeah, but they, no, the Bengals did and they just suck. No, they didn't have, T Higgins wasn't playing. Okay, but they had Jamar Chase playing. He was on a pitch count though. Jamar Chase played Joe Burrow play.

Played like 20 snaps. At full health. Dude, Jamar Chase was fully healthy. They were like, he had food poisoning. Yeah, he played like 20 snaps. Jamar, dude. And he's holding out. He's doing his holding. doing his holding. Dude those okay he got didn't he get paid? No. Oh no Dak got paid. Dak got paid. He's the highest paid player in the NFL now right? Yeah. Yeah he deserves it. Why for his zero playoff wins? Yeah dude he's they're incredible he's so good. He has zero playoff wins.

If the Cowboys played the Eagles right now, they would win. So I'm going my score 48 to 12, 48 to 13. We'll see. 12 wouldn't really make sense. Was it all field goals? The last team the Packers played was the Cowboys and the Eagles just played the Packers and they smoked them and the Packers smoked the Cowboys. I don't know if I would say the Eagles smoked the Packers.

I'm saying the Cowboys got smoked by the Packers in the Cowboys. I don't know if I would say the Eagles smoked the Packers. I'm saying the Cowboys got smoked by the Packers in the playoffs. Dude. That's the transit of property. The Eagles got smoked by the, Eagles got smoked by the Bucs in the playoffs. Yeah, but that was a different regime. No, dude. It was a whole different regime.

We're talking about different regimes. Saquon's good. I feel bad that he has to be at that poverty franchise, but with that thug, Sirianni, I mean when are you guys going to get rid of that punk? Your anti-Italian bias is showing through right now, and I've never experienced someone being so racist towards Italians. I just can't believe Sirianni's still coaching that team. When you say WAP, there's a little extra stink on it that makes me think that you say it

with a hard P at the end, and it makes me know that you're racist towards guineas. Sirianni sucks. Saquon's amazing. God bless. If no one's gonna say it, I'll say it myself. You didn't say it when Francis- I was worried I would be interrupting you somehow. No, that was kinda just I ended.

Sirianni sucks. Saquon's great. Jalen's not bad. I like Jalen. I feel bad for him that he's so bad. But I respect you being a Jalen troll though. I'm not a Jalen troll. One second of the game you were texting me being like, oh no, Jalen washed. He did look really bad for the first quarter and then he turned it on. Yeah, he turned it on. Turned it up. They could be great. They could be great. Thank you.

It does suck that they had to injure Jordan Love with that nasty dirty play. Eagles Patriots Super Bowl, who says no? Not me. I say yes. I say bring it on. Dude, the Patriots are still going to suck, but it was so nice to see them actually competing. It might be big for a part of my take with Max and Hank being Eagles and Patriots fans But I think is this would be the biggest Eagles Patriots rivalry of any fucking fans if that Super Bowl kicked off

I don't think so. I don't think the Patriots has a ton of diehards right now really I Tyler are you in Tyler? Did you get a whole second wind when they won that game? Were you like we're gonna win the Super bowl. I was texting my family being like, we're going to win the super bowl. Yeah, exactly. How good is Ramon Drey? It's great. He's incredible. Mayo's the best. Oh yeah. Wasn't it so nice seeing like seeing Mayo like, like high five in players after getting off the field. Like that was awesome. Like, like not, not they get the Gatorade. Yeah. I got chills. I almost cried. I poured a little on myself.

I had a yellow Gatorade Zero and I dumped a little bit on my neck. Yeah. Let it pour out. Dumped it on like your front. It just looks like you pissed yourself. That's funny. I was drinking body armor and I dumped that on myself Fuck Double chop for both of us Actually was slamming a body armor they need to start doing body armor baths the NFL needs to bring the well The problem is that it could easily have been a body armor bath Yeah, well you wouldn't have been able to tell because of how few calories and how good

it tastes. That's true. Because I guess the problem is if they poured body armor on him, he probably would have been pissed. He would have been like, why are you wasting all of this body armor? You fucking idiots. Suicides now. Let's go.

Yeah, running laps. The boys are staying after like Team USA. He's wasted all of this perfectly good body armor. Like Mike Arruzzione. Pour the Gatorade on me. I don't need that fucking sloth. Just wasted all this perfectly good body armor. Like Mike Rusione. Pour the Gatorade on me. I don't need that fucking sloth. That swill. Yeah, that shit.

Poison. Saved us. That was genius. Brilliant shit. I don't know. I don't know if we're out of that hole. We'll see tomorrow who gets an email. If we all get emails. I'm literally drinking two body armors right now.

I'm loyal to the brand. This one isn't even cracked. Because I'm not done with my first. Well, I already finished my first. Maybe you should just give it to a real body armor drinker. Instead of this fake body armor drinker. I've had a whole one. Yep.

You could use a second, honestly. We'll do this. That's just vodka. Yes. Francis, your liver is thanking you right now. It's going bring more. He's got one. Keep going.

Keep going. I got one more in me. Yeah. I got one more body armor in me. Did you guys slop it up yesterday? What'd you have for food? What was your game day meal? Cause I slopped it up big time. I slopped it up yesterday? What'd you have for food? What was your game day meal? So I slopped it up big time. I did a heavy wing stop order on Friday for the Eagles.

Oh, I had a pie. Oh Like a shepherd's pie or like a pie pie? No, a pie Lemon custard with meringue graham cracker crust for a big group of people that sounds unbelievable. started in the middle. You start in the middle.

Yeah, I use a spoon. Dude, that sounds so and I ate the holes. I went to I had two chili dogs. That's crazy. It was amazing. That no wonder you had the and then I an entire can of Pringles, which is like 800 calories. What flavor? Plain.

Wow, those are so good. But the bodega next to my apartment has like the, like the smoke shop flavors. Yeah. Like fucking, like they have like talky flavor, like that same flavor, that chili. But the plain is just classic though. Sometimes the plain is better.

So good. I'm gonna have to go pick up a pack of chili lime right after we finished recording another sleeve, another sleeve. I want to leave a day. Yeah. Candice, there's your dump. And seriously, I was thinking about it last night. I really got to stop doing that.

My cholesterol is probably out of the fucking. No, but you're walking 10,000 steps playing softball, right? Doesn't matter. You're active with my genetics, dude. My whole family has fucking high cholesterol. Same same and no one's even like that big No, we don't even have that many big boys in our house We're all pretty thin. I heard that cholesterol level got it used to be it got recalibrated What high cholesterol was some number of years ago and it used to be like 300 was high and then they were like no actually

200 yeah look you I come from a family of incredible athletes. Yeah and they still have high cholesterol. We had it too. We have in my family there are four high school All-Americans and one college All-American. Which do you think who do you think the college All-American is? I'm assuming you're the college All-American. No. Your brother? No. Curly. I don't have a brother. I know. I was making a joke because I didn't know you had a sister either.

Yet you did. I didn't. Because you referenced her before. I did not. Yes, you referenced her. On the story where he was. Yes, I got dropped off at his sister's house And you were like you were like, yes, I'm driving saying at my sister Yeah, and you brought that up before fuck off. You just lie. I know now you have a sister I forgot little lies little I squash Harry can't settle on the truth. My mom was the American funny Really? Mm-hmm. That's so sick. That's so sick.

Guess how many times my mom has torn her ACLs? Three. Seven. What? So it doesn't sound like she should have been all-American then, huh? No, she was, she kept tearing them and back then the repair surgery was like, they would fucking- Strap a couple band-aids. Yeah, they'd strip off a big piece of your back skin and go in there with garden shears and just

Stretch it out and be like a three-year recovery Jesus and you'd tear it again because it was so barbaric It's so fucked. She tore them both each whatever three times and then one four times, dude I've told I think I've told the story before about my dad, like exploded his knee when we were at, we had like a cookout when I was really young and my dad, we had like one of those bounce back things that you can throw a baseball at. Yeah. And he was throwing it at it.

And then he like really threw one cause he used to be a pitcher in high school and he threw it at it hard and his entire leg spun around. From throwing? Yeah. And he had to go to the, my uncle had to drive him to the hospital and he had to lay in the back of the car. Screaming. His leg spun around. From throwing? Yeah and he had to go to the, my uncle had to drive him to the hospital, he had to lay in the back of the car. Screaming. Yeah. His leg spun around? Dude like he's like where how your foot is now it would have been facing the other direction.

Oh boys I'm gonna piss myself I'm gonna piss real quick. Why don't we just wrap? Wrap? We're there. I just a body armor well I drank my body armor. No it Sure, yeah. Well, I drank my body armor. No, it's just ended. No, no, I drank my body armor. Sorry guys, I guess we're gonna cut this one short. I'm not saying that, I'm saying keep going. We're gonna cut this one short. No, I'm fine with wrapping. All right, dates?

Oh, I'll be in Austin September 20th and 21st and I will be the lead in entertainment too. The nicest this weekend in New York, September 14th and 21st, and I will be the lead in entertainment to? The nicest this weekend in New York, September 14th. Not, that's not what you wanna say? No, it's the, it's, Pop Punk is playing. Pop Punk is playing in Austin. Pop Punk is playing in Austin. For some reason it sounds like we're all gonna be in Austin

at the same time on different, for different reasons. Yeah, come to Austin. Creaking Caves. Go to Francis' show. And then we'll go see Pop Punk. Yes, I gotta go do Rog and Fred in Austin. Creeking Cave. And then we'll go see Pup Punk. Yes, I gotta go do Rogan out there, that's why I'm going. Tickets at punchup.live slash Francis Ellis. I'm doing Optimus Nocte out there. Hell yeah.

Yeah. I'm doing, or I'm not doing anything, but go listen to my Don't Tell. Go watch my Don't Tell set, please. Come see me in Sasson, Rochester. Close to 200,000 views, and I would like it to get there. In October. Hell yeah. close to 200,000 views and I would like it to get there. In October. Hell yeah. Cool. Thanks guys.