Son of a Boy Dad - Big Smart Words | Son of a Boy Dad #151

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

Big Smart Words | Son of a Boy Dad #151 -- Lil Sas & Rone catch up on their weekends, discuss what's on their minds & what's in store! -- Ad: PIE Wine, Pizzas new side piece. Visit https://PIEWine.com -- Ad: Go to https://HelloFresh.com/sonfree and use code sonfree for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All righty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is November 20th, it is Monday at 2.30 p.m. And we are here from HQ4 once again, recording the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Lots to talk about, lots to discuss. On today's show, the latest on President Xi's visit to San Francisco. Yes.

What is going on in Ukraine, and the latest on the West Bank situation? Speaking of world news, I do actually have something interesting. Did you see this Argentinian president? Sam Bankman Freed looking dude? Is he looking like him? He kind of just has this messy hair, disheveled look. Did you guys have any idea how expensive it is to get to Argentina? I was actually just looking into that.

I was too. It's so expensive. Why did you look? Are you thinking of going there? Well, I was like, me and my friends were like, let's go fishing in December. And I was like, oh, let's go to Argentina. That can be like what? A four-hour flight?

Where do you think Argentina is? About 25 hours. Dude, I feel like I've never i've never been to south uh south america so i always feel like it seems closer than it is look at chile go to chile you go patagonia is in chile i know that's where i looked i looked at patagonia you said you looked at argentina well they're all right next to each other but i looked at i looked at patagonia specifically and then i looked at argentina after because i was like surely it can't be as expensive as Patagonia. Dude, it's like basic economy.

It's like $3,000 one way. Did you look on a flight aggregator or one specific airline? I looked at Delta, but then I looked at everything after and they're all that price. Yeah, I wouldn't look at Delta. I think other ones are going to be cheaper.

No, they're all like, cheapest I could find was probably 2K. No chance. Swear to God. Round trip economy to a major city in south america not one way so then you're not looking you're looking to like a regional airport then probably you need to look at going to the santiago and then figure it out from there you gotta go to buenos aires no that's what i looked at i looked at because i i when you when

you type in obviously take me to patagonia you're gonna end up getting on some like fucking tiny ass plane yeah right but then i looked at buenos aires and it was still expensive as fuck but why don't we just all go to peru instead or bolivia well patagonia looks awesome i know but we're not there yet financially we're not all there yet financially patagonia i it's definitely i it's i mean i'm gonna try and go at some point but it's definitely a trip that you got to plan fucking a year in advance not not 20 days but get this though patagonia excuse me argentina currently is facing rampant rampant inflation uh the value of their currency is being devalued at a daily rate that's out of control and they just elected this crazy right-wing leader this new guy who talks like this like he's barking yeah is that how he sounds like one of the muppets yeah

like they hired the animal from playing the drums he has no political experience i don't think and his sister is his closest confidant and she's likely to be the first lady wait so he's gonna marry his sister I don't think they're married I think she's she's just gonna be the first lady I don't know how that works he's gonna have to fuck her to make it to consummate their first lady yeah it's lanasterian if anything yeah that is interesting lanasterian so what's his uh I've only seen like people tweeting about him being like finally order is being reset the fucking nobody believes in biden anymore we hired this guy in argentina so what's the uh what's his what's his politics he's just like i'm gonna end inflation

i think he's uh you know he's a drain the swamp kind of guy i don't i don't know exactly but i mean argentina needs to shake things up they've been are they struggling they've not been doing well for a while their currency is a major problem what's their what are they working soccer though right oh great soccer yeah but messi moved to miami yeah yeah but he wasn't gonna play for a team like uh in argentina boca juniors or anything like that yeah what he just played for their fucking Olympic team or their World Cup team? The World Cup team. He played for their national team,

but then he also was playing for PSG. Had he not come to America, I'm sure he would have gone to some other European club. Yeah, I don't know anything about soccer. Well, you're learning right now. I know. Sit your ass down and fucking listen. How about listen a little?

I am listening. Okay. He wasn't going to play for any other RPG team. Boca Juniors, I only know from FIFA. And it makes it seem like there's a Boca Seniors somewhere out there. Like there's a higher version of Boca Juniors. And there isn't, right? They're like the best South American squad, right?

I think they're the biggest club in Argentina, yeah. They're the only one I know. So I don't know. That would be my guess. Well, this is not a soccer podcast. This is a football podcast. Let's talk ball. We've got a lot to catch up on, a lot to go over.

My dad used to go on business trips all the time when I was a kid to all over the world, and he would come home, and sometimes he would bring me a soccer jersey from the place that he'd been. Oh, that's nice. And I have one from Boca Juniors. Oh, that's very cool. It was cool as fuck to have a soccer jersey when you were... Yeah, it was.

Yeah, I wore them to school all the time. Boca J. Yeah. I have a Mac Jones jersey. This is my fucking... Actually, I heard that's the last one sold. I haven't won a single bet since I bought it. Mac Jones has also...

His career has literally gone down the toilet literally down the toilet since you bought that jersey yeah they're saying that he might not start next week but that's why literally down the toilet what happened with the toilet what had happened he was like sitting on the toilet and someone flushed an industrial strength toilet sucking his asshole down to the front of the plumbing system have you guys ever heard about sewer rats no but i was gonna say say they pink socked him with a toilet. That's how powerful it was. I think they had another...

You know how all those really bad teams, there's a trend right now where they're doing just a chew-out session where it's players only and they just get in and they all just beat the fuck out of the quarterback? Yeah, it's like a prison sniff. You suck! I hate... I can't believe I left college a year early for this bullshit.

They put bars of soap in socks and beat the shit out of the quarterback. They all just make Zach Wilson fucking cry. And then they're like, all right, guys, that was pretty productive. They run train on Zach Wilson's mom in front of him. What about sewer rats, though? Oh, I was just saying, because we were talking about the toilet thing. Apparently, in some places in New York, you'll go and you'll open up your toilet and there'll be a dead rat in the toilet because it will have crawled up the sewer whoa yeah does that mean

that there is no standing water in the tank in the toilet itself i don't know how it works i've just heard of that happening some places i make sure to leave some water in there yeah me too in order to you don't want to have that thing be dried up yeah i want sure to leave some water in there yeah me too in order to you don't want to have that thing be dried up yeah yeah i want there to be something to land on i don't know what my move would be if i went and i came back from like a weekend and i opened the toilet and there was a dead rat inside i'd probably just pack my shit and just go to stay at a hotel can you just get on an amtrak and go home and then never come back to New York. You just hope it's all sorted out? Honestly, Francis, I know you're a bike man.

There's been a fucking rat genocide in the streets. I've seen so many rat carcasses. I don't know if you've seen it. Really? I've never seen a dead rat. You run over them and you see it coming and there's nothing you can do. I did that the other day.

Yes, and they're everywhere. And some of them are so flattened into the street that you run over them and you don't even feel a bump. You don't feel anything. It's just fully smooth, embossed into the fucking... But dude, they're so flush with the pavement. They're so flexible, they probably don't even die when you run them over. This is... Like a cockroach.

These are... This is what I... Like a cockroach in a Disney movie. There was one... You know the round, the big curve as we come onto the Manhattan Bridge? There's two of them there. There was a really bad one there. And it got wider and wider like it was a crepe.

Yeah. And it made me think that is all of New York, how much surface area of New York is covered in rat carcass? Because at some point, you just keep running it over, keep running it over. It just becomes part of the pavement. I don't think it's all getting picked up by the wheel. So it's just getting beaten into the ground. And at some point, it becomes one uniform sort of pace,

like you said. Yes. And you can't even tell the difference anymore. Yeah. So how much of New York's surface area? It's got to be up to 50% or of the streets, I think 50% of the streets, like the paved streets and maybe like 20% of the sidewalks. Damn.

And I think, you know how in Chicago, there's two seasons, construction season and everything else. In New York, I think there's two seasons. I think it's dead rat season and dead bird season. Dead birds are in the summertime And I think dead bird season Is completely over Now the rats can kind of

Go outside And they are being Fucking mowed down I'm losing you guys here I've never seen a dead rat Or a dead bird In the city Cause you got your head

In your fucking Well you don't Yeah you don't go outside No but this street Does get fucking This is where the rats Are the safest They thrive on this street Every night If you this is where the rats are the safest they thrive on this

street every night taking pictures of rats like oh point yeah every night you just sit here and you just hear them outside just fucking causing a ruckus playing dice like getting into shootouts over fucking arguments yeah i have a question for you guys just Just for like four hours on end. And I'm just standing here. I'm literally like looking out the window, like banging on the window. Keep it down out there. Yeah, what the hell is going on? How are they that loud?

They're loud. Dude, they make sounds loud enough that like a human, like you could be mistaken with a human noise. That's how loud they are. They're rustling through the trash and you can hear them from in my apartment rustling in the trash gleefully finding trash feet away those might be raccoons no it's rats are you sure dude when i walk down this street like if i if i'm walking home late at night i'll walk in the middle of the road but the because i can't be on the sidewalk don't have the ability to lift the lid of the trash can whereas the raccoons they have these wily disposable thumbs disposable they're not there's no trash cans here

though those raccoons lift that lid and then they immediately throw their thumbs away they screw off and they grow another one like a reptile comes right back what do you think would happen if you called a fucking uh if you called like a animal control because there was like a dying rat on the street they're like please come save him you think there is even animal control in new york 100 i don't know bears dude we got bears here no that's jersey um why is new york the city where our homeless don't have the good camping gear that they do in other cities because in some cities they get it for free. They do? Yes.

Is REI just dishing out? They go dumpster diving at REI? When you register as homeless, it comes with like a 50% off REI gift card. Lifetime supply. Like how bakeries throw out all the bread at the end of the day. REI just throws out that day's camping equipment.

This is a 2019 tent. This Gore-Tex is worn off and we're not even selling this model anymore. I don't know if that's actually true, but I do want to say I think in Portland they might get like actual tents

from the government. Bro, in DC, all the homeless are in top of the line camping gear. They know how to camp. Oh yeah, they're like in Himalayan camping gear. They are. They're bivouacking.

Yeah. And they know what they're doing. They've got those little propane heaters. Yep. And when they run out of actual food, they melt down like the wax casing of whatever jars they had and eat the wax. They have like fucking crampons. Yeah.

Yeah. They don't have to go to Patagonia. They're in Patagonia. Oh,ia. They're in Patagonia. Oh, yeah. They're wearing Patagonia vests. And they're fucking, I mean, it's pretty stylish. I think that people will someday romanticize that style of homelessness. Like they romanticize hobos riding the rails with a bindle on a stick,

eating a can of beans or something like that. 100%. I think we're living in the glory days of homelessness right now. you do in some ways does that because i don't think so do you think that conditions for homeless are going to get worse or we're going to solve the problem i think it's going to get worse but i also think dude i think this is not the prime time for homeless dude like what was the prime years ago 50 years ago people were dude the homeless dudes were all walking around in three-piece suits that's because every that was prime time available yeah that was great that was a great time in pursuit of happiness no that's he looked good even though he was home

yes exactly that's that is similar to what i'm talking about but right now dude back then you couldn't even tell the difference between a homeless dude and just a fucking cool ass guy right right it's just swaggy dude 10 technology is so through the roof and it's so accessible. Like downtown Los Angeles, there's just rows and there's just so many overpasses, so little government interference and being homeless. They're like, no, no, we have to let these homeless people spread their wings and give them a chance to really enjoy their homelessness. It's gotten really bad. And everyone always says that and I tend not to let that stand because I think everyone

just likes to get hysterical about the homeless problem. But I now... They don't bother me. On the subway now, I would say there's like... Of the last five subway rides I've been on, two of them had a belligerent homeless guy, one of whom got maced by a woman. It's always the women with the mace. She pulled out and she had it. And she was like,

don't do, and come any closer. And he started spitting, but he was trying to speak. And there was just spittle and spew coming from his mouth. And then she gassed him. Macing someone on a train,

that's got to be like, there's got to be some... Luckily, I was getting off. Yeah, that's got to fuck up the whole car. You were masturbating? What else would I do? You see something like that? You're not going to get hard? Luckily, I was getting off at that point,

so I was able to leave shortly after. I had just finished with the familiar taste of pepper spray. Yeah, she had a... I can only get off if i'm being mace he he was he was he was shining the flashlight in everyone's eyes as he walked by them on the train what hey came up brought it right to your that is like that is a funny move though that that that's just annoying enough to like ruin someone's whole day well it was just super just to be just to be

like sitting on a train and some dude just flashes a bright light in your face yeah like ah what the fuck was that after she sprayed the mace at him he saw it coming so he kind of covered yeah and then she got off the train i got off the train and he got off the train and then the train started moving and he chased it down the platform shining the light on the faces of the people in the car that he had just vacated. It's crazy how people don't want you to comment on homelessness as if it's insensitive, as if you don't want... People will be like, it's not a bad thing. I'm sure that these people's goal is not homelessness.

Right. And I'm also curious that people's goal is not homelessness. Right. And I'm also curious that when outside of our office, there's a guy who has a blanket and a bunch of technology from 2003 for sale. Who is buying the iPhone 1? Dude, tourists. Tourists? Yes. You think so?

They come here and they're like, New York's the greatest city in the world. You can just buy an iPhone on the street like this? For the price of one vial of fentanyl? I mean, it's the same people that are paying to have a picture taken with Mickey Mouse in Times Square. Yeah, the naked cowboy who's not actually naked. You know who is buying some of this stuff? In Chinatown, I saw a clearly homeless woman.

She had some cleaning solution and she was selling it. And she was like, I need $6 for this. I'm not taking $5. And she had maybe eight Chinese people around her. Damn your bidding for it. They were surrounding her. It was a very good market for her services. Like they were surrounding her.

It was a very good market for her services. And I think that's probably a good place to be able to kind of, you know, to really be able to flip that kind of thing. Yeah, that's a good point. What was that dirty move you just gave? Why'd you just turn off SportsCenter, bro? Because it's too distracting. We are watching football spiral through the air, and we're not engaging with each other at the level that we should be.

We're watching Josh Dobbs getting fucking wrecked you can't uphold the level of tic-tac-toe conversation that we're having here that people have come to expect i was enjoying it well that's the problem you haven't went to you started drooling a little bit and i was like oh shit sass is glazed over yeah we need you unhappy and present. No, but I love watching ball. Yeah, of course. Who doesn't, man? But you also, it's like you have to put yourself through the periods of not watching ball.

So you can enjoy the ball again. The pain of not having ball in front of you so you can fully enjoy the ball. I also wore some of my better socks today because I was getting roasted. Bombas. I was getting roasted for my last socks. They're like, you can smell them through the camera. People really like to roast the socks that we wear. People were very mad at me. Apparently, the Battle of Singapore

was not even close to the number one most brutal battle of World War II. Yeah, I knew that. I just didn't want to correct you. People were flaming me. Especially with your dunking on Francis every two seconds about the Battle of the Bulge. Yeah, he doesn't know the difference between the Battle of the Bulge and the Battle of the Bulge. Yeah, he doesn't know the difference between the Battle of the Bulge and the Battle of the Stone.

I know that one has to do with, you know, well, they're the same. Yes. That was a trick question. And you still fell into my trap. No, but I got there. It took you a minute. Do you want some lip gloss? No.

Do you want some chapstick? Are my lips chapped? Badly. They are, yeah. It's like a little snowflakes are falling off st louis will do that to you dude suck the air right out of you i asked sass earlier if i could borrow his stick of deodorant knowing full well he was likely to be the type of person that would balk i'm not i feel like i'm not i'm not very uh i don't get grossed out by things

easily that's one thing that i'm not a big fan of. I could tell by the stiff sock that's on your floor right over there. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the deodorant chairing. It's just like, I don't know, the armpits are a really gross area. And for me to rub it on my armpits and then you to take it and then rub it on your armpits and then for me tomorrow to go put it back on my armpits. But Rome made the point. That it feels like some way for some sort of disease to start spreading. We could take a sort of charcuterie board brie knife and then scrape yeah but then

i don't i don't want my deodorant my deodorant has been has been molded to your armpit my armpits nook yeah and i don't know i'm gonna have to go in with a fucking sharp ass stick of deodorant what kind of stroke do you use for your deodorant i go like this one two done you go up down up down or down i go down up fuck a fuck a fuck a fuck down up yeah i do a real swirl i i mean i get it in there so good i get i mean i cover the pits fully you just do a double coat i do like a 10 coat i don't know it's at a certain point feels like you're just rubbing around like there's only so much deodorant that you can have all you're adding more and you need it if you do as much activity as ron and i do whereas you don't maybe maybe you don't need it because you don't go anywhere i've also i would have gladly shared

a stick with you i think i would have too i there there's nothing uh your deodorant is like using hand soap being like oh you're going to get my soap dirty yeah we're no it's it cleans we're not sharing no but it's not even close to like that because deodorant and hand soap are like, yeah, if you wanted to use my hand soap, I wouldn't be like, dude, you could use my fucking ass bar. No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh. You could use my ass soap bar and I would have no problem.

You'd be okay with sharing a bar of soap in the shower? 100%. Knowing that I might be sticking it up my butt? Yes, because that is something. His soap is already clean. So you're cleaning yourself with it. There can still be bad butt issues. I'm never going to wash my deodorant.

I'm never going to wash my deodorant. All I'm doing... Dude, you're asking me for deodorant, which means you've got stanky sweaty pits as we speak. No, it's just because I forgot to put it on this morning. Yeah, but you forget all the time. You only remember... No, I never forget.

You only remember to put on deodorant when you already smell.'s why i don't forget because my armpits were i drank a coffee my armpits were actively sweating i didn't oh you then maybe i didn't want to borrow it from you so you're taking it and you're gonna rub your fucking sweat all over your my deodorant and then tomorrow morning i'm gonna wake up and rub it back onto me but that's just transferring sweat that's not how deodorant works though in my in my mind it is how it works but that then you should be you should be precious about your ass soap then yeah my ass because it's soap is clean it's not it is people don't know this but soap is actually one of the most uh disease carrying substances in the world really is that do you hear that from a fucking instagram ad what do you think is actually classified as fucking poison.

Why do you think people drop the soap? Try our bar of sand and mud. As God intended men to clean themselves. Floated with extra testosterone. It's got 10,000 microbiomes. It's a combination of mud, sand, and mushrooms. It's a prebiotic.

Your armpits will be tripping out like never before. No, but if you're sticking that soap up your dirty butthole, it has the same properties as your dirty armpits. My bar of soap legitimately enters my anus.

It goes into my large intestine and then I shit it back out. Damn. That's how I clean my ass. It's like a... The inside of my ass is clean as hell. Like a tube at the bank. It just shoots up in there. I take the bar of soap, and I shove it in in my ass and then I pace around the bathtub

and really clean as a whistle. That's fucking nasty. When I was a kid, I wouldn't even put a bar of soap to body. I would swirl it around in my hand. I wouldn't rub myself down with the soap. I would swirl it in my hand

and it would mold to my hand and i would just but i would never put i would never scrub myself down with the bar of soap i don't much let's put it inside of my asshole what i do is i i so when i wash all i really soap down is like the you know the areas that need to be soaked down what about body wash though no fuck that shit why i don't know my doctor told me not to use it it's drying you It dried me out too much, and then I got a fucking pitoriasis. Which actually, I was looking it up yesterday. Apparently, that was from the vaccine. Apparently, it skyrocketed after the vaccine.

Really? Yeah. I'm working on a lawsuit right now. Pitoriasis? Yeah. Pitoriasis, rosacea. I've never heard of that. Yeah.

Oh, you didn't... Did you not know when I had that? I don't know what that is, man. Oh, man. He was like, had braille skin. Dude, it was crazy. Oh, you were scaly? Dude, for like almost a year wow that's not fun dude it was disgusting whole body was covered in like up to my neck ah gross and it would go away and then it would come back

gross yeah shane actually had that too and he told me to go to a seat in a uv bed did you get it because he had it no he had it when he wanted it 20 years ago no dude i had it randomly and it was like dude my entire day every day was spent just sitting on my phone googling how to get it to go away damn and it's one of those things where people are like try like splashing fucking leaves that have fallen off of trees onto you like there's like just people were just throwing random shit out there right right mix olive oil and fucking hot sauce together and lather your body in it one of the great joys in life though is having a nice body wash i think that if you're using like a like a very shitty type of body wash like it's going to be nasty

it's like not even going to stick to your skin it'll fall apart like jelly sometimes these cheap like cleaning hygiene things are worse than using nothing. Like Speed Stick deodorant, the green one you can buy at a gas station, the smell of it makes me gag. I think it's worse than being it doesn't clean you at all. It doesn't deodorize you at all. But nice deodorant, nice body wash, that's a fantastic joy. I think you should invest in it.

I did that for a while, but after the rash, dude, I went back to just fucking head for a while but after that after the rash dude i went back to just fucking head and shoulders shampoo irish bar soap yeah no people say that that's not the worst thing no that that the that the dove soap is actually pretty good it's gentle antibacterial antibacterial yeah oh the dove is nice yeah that's what i use um i took an uber yellow bar on thursday i'm gonna move past that. Quite. I don't think we need to talk about that anymore.

I took an Uber on Thursday, and the driver was from an African country. Yeah. His name is Mamadou, and he was so nice. I have a very nice Uber driver yesterday as well. But a terrible driver. Oh, me too. Dude, I literally have the exact same story. Just let me finish and then we'll decide if we want to. Mine's funny

too. Here are yours. Probably funnier. So he did that thing that some Uber drivers do where he would accelerate and then jam on the brakes. Decelerate. And even when you get to the... You're doing the...

What's the shuffle call? It's like when a dog is about to throw up and you're just in the car. You're doing the Pine Grove shuffle in the backseat. Oh, dude, that nothing enrages me more than that. He would get to a stop sign or a traffic. He'd get to a traffic light. It'd be a red light.

We'd be the first car in line. And he would go forward an inch. Stop. Yeah. Inch. Stop. Like he was trying to time it. It's making me nauseous thinking about it right now. He's trying to get a rolling start.

But he kept. It's like, dude, you can see on the adjacent walk sign the fucking countdown. Yeah. Why aren't you just timing based off of that 14 13 stop we still have to wait forever he's guessing dog he's trying to if i'm remembering correctly though the lights in dc are long no this was in new york oh this was in new york oh dc does have like the minutes like 15 60 second wait time really long so we um we i'm driving with him and i'm thinking can i say something to him about hey man i have a sensitive stomach or something is there any chance that you could

try to be a little more consistent with your stops and starts a little more radicalize him against americans i wondered he'd be like fuck these guys this is This is how crazy it was. This guy had over, whatever, like 8,000 rides. He was an Uber all-star. Yeah. Legend. Pro-multi. Face of the company. Yeah.

Hall of Famer. 4.96. First team all Uber. He's going to have a pension. He's going to fucking have a- Preseason All-American. Yeah. He was the first driver for Uber.

And I never done this before but i started looking up past reviews oh to see how could he have corroborate how could he have such a high rating if no if if he's got this clearly this problem with his foot twitching gas and break gas and break and none of the reviews not a single one had anything negative to say about this which made me wonder if either he was just doing it for me or if it was a new development and can i correct this what what are you i would i've never i don't know if i've ever not given someone a five-star review. Would you go four?

Would you go three? Four is a death sentence. Four, you might as well fucking shoot him in the back of the head and fucking slash his thighs. If you're not giving five, should you just give one? Yes. I guess. It's binary. I don't think anyone's giving. You're insane if you're giving someone four or three stars.

But I don't want to actually hurt his rating. I liked the guy. Yeah. He had that nice voice. He was sweet. He to actually hurt his rating. I liked the guy. Yeah. He had that nice voice. He was sweet. He was a sweet, gravelly spoken man. What does it sound like? Are you Mr. Francis?

Mr. Francis? That's not quite it, but you get the idea. We're on the hunt there. So he's Ugandan. Yeah. Probably. Probably Ugandan or Nigerian. That sounds a little Nigerian.

That sounds African, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a dude, though. That sounds like a... the hunt there so he's ugandan yeah probably probably ugandan or nigerian yeah yeah i'm gonna do that that sounds like ah but uh i think i have a theory of what it was mr francis no that's japanese yeah yeah whatever time i try and do an accent it's just whatever comes to my head first mr francis that's closest closer to what we were talking about you got it you got it but but it was more gravelly it was soft it was horse it was dekembe matumbo going to the airport are we yeah no again mr francis that's more yeah see i can't do it jamaica but it was pretty good ah mr, Mr. Francis, big tings. That's Jamaica. That's Jamaica.

Boyaka, boyaka. Oh, I got Mr. Francis. Are you Mr. Francis? Pussycats. Are you Mr. Francis? It was true. That doesn't even sound like anything. La guardia.

Now, that sounds like you're doing a mix of Japanese and African. Which is fine. That is fine. That can happen. That can happen. But, Francis, I have a theory of what was going on here. I think that sometimes there is a shared Uber account between multiple people. Yep.

And it's not always the same driver. And sometimes the driver's brand new and he's just jumping on his brother's account. Wow. And he's just like, okay. Because some of the guys, it's's like it's clearly you're learning to drive i know that's a thing because when i was in chicago i had an over driver the syrian dude who he like shared the car with someone else but that's confusing because on the driver's profile it was the picture of him oh it's him yeah probably just changed the profile picture

come on that takes a login they're not doing that. I could see. Could he have all, did it, was it exactly him? Or did it look kind of like him? Were you sure? Were you sure? Good question. You know, it's a good question. Could it have been his cousin? All I could see, I was looking at him through the rear, the mirror.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So I only kind of got the eyes. Some ethnically African countries have similar face shapes. For example, my friend from Ethiopia, I can tell other Ethiopians because they kind of look like him. There's like an Ethiopian face shape. And I'll get in a cab sometime,

or I'll go to a restaurant or run into somebody on the street, and I'll be like, hey, are you Ethiopian? And they'll be super impressed that I recognize. No, I'm from Harlem, actually. No, that's never, I've always been exactly right. They've always been either Ethiopian or from Eritrea. Wow, that's pretty good. You must be Ethiopian, Ethiopian, right?

No, but I'm from the Bronx. Is Addis Ababa the capital of Ethiopia? Yeah. See, you're locked in. And they speak Amharic. Whoa. I went there one time. It was beautiful.

That is cool. It was lovely. So, my Uber driver yesterday. That's a rough country, though. They're in trouble. They're not doing well. It was before all that. They had actually just elected their Obama at the time.

Oh. And they were like, this guy's going to lead it. And then six months or a year after I was there, their Obama had led them into a civil war. He turned out to be their Abraham Lincoln. He might have suffered the same fate. I don't know. If he suffered the same fate. What were you about to say, Seth?

My Uber driver yesterday was a Lithuanian man. Lithuanian. And he was very nice as well. But, dude, he was killing me. Like I was laughing the whole time but he was do that thing my dad does this does this when he's driving where he he makes a joke and then he turns around to see if you're laughing and i'm looking up and we're like swerving into the other like oncoming traffic yeah yeah but he was funny he was uh what kind of jokes are we

talking about he was telling me about he went to northwestern and uh he said that he got into all the fraternities and he was like i didn't understand why i was getting into all these fraternities he's like and then i found out it was because uh i drink beer very fast and he gave me this whole backstory he said when he was growing up they had a garden in his in his yard and he said that his uh his mom would leave uh a pot out filled with water and he would chug the water all day and then he said he came to america and he was drinking beers he said he would drink it like he was drinking the pot of water and he would just suck down the beer why was he drinking water out of the flower pot because he said that uh the material in a flower pot i guess it doesn't absorb heat well so it stays

cold longer oh yes that's fascinating yeah he did give me that whole breakdown while we were at the airport we were in the parking lot i'll just get out and i'm trying to get out and he's like so then the pod see the pod it doesn't really absorb the heat ceramics actually have a unique property yeah are you sure that he didn't go to northeastern no he said northwestern northwestern is a good school and then i said my sister went to northwestern i feel like he was lying. I feel like all of this wasn't true. No, we do.

It was a long drive, and we had a good chat. But why is he driving an Uber? And then he gave me a high five after. I feel like he could just be an engineer like everybody else that went to Northwestern. He lived in New York, and he did, what did he do? Something with numbers, and he lived here for seven years, and then he moved to the Midwest because his wife's family lives there, and he was like i hate the midwest oh this is st louis yes see that's the thing you can get people with top graduate degrees and stuff the highest

educated people in the world driving for uber interesting outside of new york city did you ask him what he majored in at northwestern uh no see i would have got he went to northwestern and then he got his graduate degree at um two lane oh so he's in deep deep debt probably that's got to be why he's so he's driving uber because he's trying to shovel out from fucking mountains of debt because fannie mae is fucking bending his ass over and sticking it to him. Yeah. Almost as if he had dropped the soap.

Yeah. Francis, like you said earlier. It's impossible to drop the soap when it's inside of your ass. Oh, you can. You can. You just need to cough. Look to the left and drop the soap. Should we do an ad?

Let's do this pie wine ad. Pie wine. Or hold on. I'm going to piss real quick and then we'll do it. What the hell? Drink coffee before, bro. Get the hell up and you figure this shit out. Do you want to just clap real quick? No, no.

Me and Francis will keep on talking, dude. We don't need you here to carry the cup. It actually might be more seamless without you here. It's a good idea. Francis and I did used to have a podcast back in the day. should we talk about something super erudite that he wouldn't understand yes or maybe like are you familiar with schrodinger's cat of course what a phenomenal theory that is what a wonderful thought experiment yeah i i think it how deep have you gone on that looking into that i think i have a base level understanding that things exist only if

you acknowledge their existence basically yeah right or like things can exist in the uh in the in the possibility without you uh without you delving into whether... Why don't you say what exactly it is? No, you're right there. I think the idea is that things can exist in multiple states at the same time. Because it's our own perception that it will actually define what state it's in. So the idea was that you had a cat in a box, and in the box was this radioactive poison. And at some point, a timer or whatever might go off,

which would release the poison. But we don't know. We don't know. We can't see inside the box. And so you open up. What's in the box? And then back to pie wine. Let's talk about pie wine.

What's in the box? We'll pick this up on our city bike home over the rat carcasses. Can we talk about pie wine for a second, though? Honestly. Let's talk about pie wine just for a hot minute real quick. Pie wine is officially, officially now, pizza's new side piece. Oh shit, because I don't think

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Cheers. Cheers. Freaking cheers pie wine. Cheers. Cheers. Freaking cheers. Freaking cheers, bro. Yeah. Fucking Schrodinger's fat comes and sits back down next to us. The idea of Schrodinger's cat. You know about Schrodinger's cat?

You ever heard of this? No, I haven't. So it's a thought experiment. The idea is that there's a thought experiment. The idea is that there's a cat in a box with some radioactive poison. At some point, the poison may or may not have gone off. But in order for us to know whether or not it's gone off, we have to open the box, at which point we may see the cat has died, right? Okay.

But given that we don't know, observing the box, whether the cat is alive or dead in that box, the idea is that the cat can exist in two possible states at one time. This is a quantum mechanics idea. The idea is that there is a possibility that there is a world where the cat is alive and there is a world where the cat is dead. And the two things are true at once. world where the cat is dead and the two things are true at once and in fact it is the act of us opening the box and observing the state that the cat is in which determines the reality

in extending beyond that you could say that we as observers in opening the box and seeing that the cat is dead we have killed the cat i get it because we introduced into the world the reality this possibility we chose its fate by saying i observe this cat as being dead therefore that is true it is us that has made that happen i think what are the fallacies so it's like if a tree falls in the woods and no one's around to hear it kind of did it fall i'll allow that but i think that in in the sch and no one's around to hear it. Kind of. Did it fall? I'll allow that. But I think that in the Schrodinger's cat thought experiment, we're only considering our reality. In the cat's reality, the cat died when the cat died.

But in our reality, we're determining whether the cat is alive or whether the cat is dead. I have no idea what that means. Like the cat died when the cat died. But we don't know if it died. That's the point. Yeah, we don't know. But the cat, in its reality, died when it died.

Or didn't die when it didn't die. Sure. And so we're talking about our realization of the death or life of the cat. But for the cat itself, this is tricky. I guess that's true. I don't know if we care about the cat because it's a cat. See, what is the breed of the cat? What kind of cat are we talking?

Let's call it one of those ones that has like... Is it fluffy? Is it naked? Because if it's naked, it's dead the whole time to me. Yeah. It was never a lot. If it's naked, I'm not even checking the box to see if it's alive or dead. If it's a conjo naked? Because if it's naked, it's dead the whole time to me. Yeah. It was never alive. If it's naked, I'm not even checking the box to see if it's alive or dead. If it's a conjoined cat.

A furless cat? Yeah. One of those naked cats. That's what you mean? Yeah. That's what they're called. They're called naked? Yeah.

I think so. I thought they were a Siamese cat. Isn't that a Siamese cat? I don't know. A cat from Siam? Like Mr. Bigglesworth from Austin Powers. Yes. A cat from Burma?

If it's one of those cats that looks like foreskin. Those ones are expensive, dude. Did you know that? They're very expensive. if it's one of those cats that looks like foreskin those ones are expensive dude did you know that they're very expensive it's one of those ball sack cats then i'm not even opening the box i'm not a huge fan of those cats having said that when i get a new haircut and i do a skin fade i love to run my fingers up my sideburns where there's only the faintest hint the faintest hint. The faintest hint. Couldn't you just shave a cheap cat and make it one of those cats? You probably could, but you're going to run through a lot of razors. That's true.

They're growing back quick. And you're going to run through a lot of cat sedatives, because there's no way the cat is just going to be allowing you to shave it every day. Yeah, that's true. Ever since fucking Bill Cosby made it cool, cat sedatives have been way harder to find. That Spanish fly for the cats. I wouldn't mind popping a cat sedative. My cat sedative guy has been dry for weeks.

Yeah, you only can get the horse sedatives. Ketamine. Ketamine. That's what I'm talking about right now is ketamine. You guys ever do ketamine? I've never done it. No. Drone definitely has.

Yeah. Drone's done every sedative. Drone's done like gorilla sedatives. What's the sensation of ketamine? We never done it no drone definitely has yeah ron's done every set of drones and like gorilla set of this what's the what's the what's the sensation of we're worried about you for ketamine basically just took like the horizon from like being right here and it put it down here and did it feel good did it make you feel like i've been in a k-hole i've never been in a k-hole but it felt it wasn't euphoric, but it was great. It felt great. I imagine a K-hole is like in Get Out when he goes and he falls out of the chair.

As do I. I have the exact same idea. You're watching yourself from a TV screen that's a mile away. Yeah, that seems scary. Sometimes that'll happen in my dreams. Speaking of which... That's what it feels like when I drink too much and then I go to bed. I had such a bad dream last night that brendan clancy died i almost texted kevin this morning to ask if his brother was okay but then

i realized that would be ridiculous yeah that would be weird that's did i dream this into existence yeah you schrodinger's cat at his fucking brother can you imagine honestly bro that is that in that dream it was schrodinger's cat type of situation. Yeah. He was both alive and dead in your reality. Now, do you guys know about Occam's Razor? I do not. I like these because of their names, mostly.

It's the simplest solution is the... Usually, the simplest solution is the correct one, right? Isn't that Occam's Razor? I don't know. I've never heard of that. Yeah, it is. Why do you think it's called Occam's Razor? The simplest solution is the correct one right isn't that occam's razor i don't know i've never heard of that yeah it is why do you think it's called occam's razor the simplest solution is the correct usually like yeah it's usually detectives will say something like that like the thing we think is the most

obvious reason for why this thing happened is probably the right which is why it's probably it's probably great to frame people for crimes if if that's like if they're only using occam's razor it's like okay make it seem like fucking Kevin killed Brendan Clancy. And then leave a note. And it's like, well, the notes. That's why they always go with the husband. If a lady dies, because statistically, it's almost always the husband. Right, right, right.

Occam's razor. I just watched this fucking show, The Night Of. Have you guys seen that? Oh, my God. One of the best. Oh, that show was terrible. Oh, no, you're wrong. I thought it was not good at all. show, The Night Of. Have you guys seen that? Oh, my God. One of the best. Oh, that show was terrible. Oh, no, you're wrong. I thought it was not good at all.

No, you're wrong about that. I did not enjoy that one bit. I watched Unbelievable, and then I watched The Night Of, and I thought Unbelievable was light years ahead of it. No, dude. Night Of is way better. In fact, when you started talking about your scaly skin, I immediately thought of the lawyer who's got the eczema. He's great in it. Yeah, he's amazing.

I thought Riz Ahmed was good too, though. I just didn't like it, dude. It was just so slow. And then the ending was just so anti... Nothing happened. They didn't even prove him innocent or guilty. They were just like, fuck this, I'm bored. They did prove him innocent.

No, they took a vote and the jury didn't... They had a 6-6 split. So he gets off for not... No, it wasn't not guilty. They asked the people that were charging him. And they were like, do you want... They dropped the charges. They were like, do you want to just resume this at another time?

And they were like, no. Which is him getting off. But it was never proven innocent or guilty. He's getting off for murder because the defense... Excuse me, the prosecution is like, we've seen enough. We don't actually think we can win this case yeah bye and that's as a as someone being uh convicted of murder murder that is as good as a not guilty verdict yeah wouldn't you rather get a not guilty because now you're

going back and they're like well i guess the case just didn't work out so he's on the streets now i want i'd want that fucking stamp like you you didn't do it i don't know man because i mean dude they show him and he comes back and everyone's like that's the fucking dude that's probably because he's got neck tattoos and spent time at riker and he's addicted to crack and no one ever that's the that's the part of the show that i didn't like was him like becoming a crackhead it was like and then he had to and then survival did he why did he become a crackhead and why did he gain 20 pounds of muscle? Because you work out.

I don't think that's how crack works. Do you know how much fitter I would be if I went to prison? And you smoked crack. Yeah, man. Dude, crackheads lose weight at like the fastest pace of all time. Yeah, but the food in prison is filled with carbohydrates. And he's smoking crack and he's eating 300 calories a day. And he somehow gains 30 pounds of muscle.

Cholesterol The first episode He's walking around And he looks like me And then the second episode He's walking around And he looks like you But in that time period

He started eating less And smoking crack Crackheads are lean They're always like lean And have like six packs But that's usually From like coughing Yeah but this dude

Was lean When he went into prison And then he leaves prison And he's fucking jacked He looks like the fucking rock He looks like Mark Wahlberg In The fighter all right honest question to both of you honest question could you um achieve a successful murder where not only not only did not you you certainly don't get convicted for but nobody even you. You don't even end up in court.

In New York City, no. I'm not talking about a homeless guy. You're talking about like... A person. A person of society. That you know? Do you know them or you don't know them? You don't have to necessarily know them. Well, because they say that there's also that statistic where most murders that happen, they know each other.

Well, then you guys probably are going to want to choose someone you don't know. In New York City, no. I don't think I would come close because everything is videotaped. So where do you think you'd have to go to be able to be successful at it? I mean, if I went out to the sticks, if I went out to like fucking Yosetamine or some shit like that, yeah. Yosetamine? Yeah.

Is that the ketamine you take at Yosemite National Park? I did Yosetamine or some shit like that. Yeah. Yosetamine? Yeah. Is that the ketamine you take at Yosemite National Park? I did Yosetamine in fucking... How is it pronounced? Yosemite. Yosemite? Sorry, my bad. I am so fucking stupid, aren't I? Yeah, I would go out there and I would just kill someone

and I would just dump their body in a river, dude. Killing a hiker. Killing a hiker does sound... You could kill a hiker killing a hiker does sound you could kill a hiker so easily no one would have any idea there'd be no trace of you being there if you killed a hiker would you put claws on your fingers to make it look like it happened from a saber-toothed tiger or a mountain lion no dude i would literally kill the hiker and then just throw them down a cliff and someone would find them like 600 years later yeah but then someone's gonna find your boot marks and then check out who bought red wing boots nearby and they'd find that the store had a record of you and then they'd check the tapes and all of a sudden hey we're on the hunt for a guy wearing a north face beanie and

mismatched socks who won't let anyone else borrow his fucking deodorant dude all i would go to a fucking goodwill and buy hiking boots there would be no trace of me ever buying them letting someone use your deodorant like gives you the plausible dying deniability of mixed dna that's your alibi right there's like some francis's dna on your deodorant some of yours and it's like well it could have been either of us you pin it on me it's a beyond a reasonable doubt plucks an orange armpit hair from your deodorant all of a sudden you're off the hook i don't know i i think the whole i think that i think it's a common it's a it's a topic that people like to discuss they're like i could get away with murder if i really wanted to do it but i think you don't know how you're going to react once you actually kill someone that's when

you get sloppy how many murders do you think you could get away with? How many? On the Appalachian Trail, 12. Yeah, everyone I see. And you're getting away with it? Yeah. You're just on the Appalachian Trail. Just claiming people. And you go to a busy spot. Collecting tags.

And you kill 13 people and nothing comes of it yeah i think you have to be really really deep on the appalachian trail but people just disappear in the appalachian trail all the time do people disappear in every single national park yeah but look at that gabby potato yeah but the only reason they got caught was because the fucking they were recording youtube videos together beforehand oh you're right and then there was like multiple people stopped while he was like wailing on her in the back of their van and then they would drove off yeah francis i think you could get through the act of the murder francis would be putting up hitler numbers people give me way too much credit no i'm saying at the

act of the murder you could do but afterwards you would i think uh not only feel guilty but under the uh interrogation i don't know how well you would hold it together i don't think you would hold it well i think the guilt would really eat at you i think you'd be calling me and you'd be like i just don't feel great about what i did how do you how do you beat the interrogation you just say lawyer lawyer lawyer like a fifth that's it five five five are you dumb are you stupid you control your body language you got to control your body language because they've all watched lied to me and so they know where your eyes are darting and they know if you're crossing your eyes or if you're taking their food and stuff like that that you're going to be that you're going to be guilty i think you've got to watch a bunch of episodes

of interrogations yeah but you got to do it from a vpn because they're going to look up your uh your search history i think i would be so bad in interrogation that if i was completely innocent for any case i would go in and they'd be like yeah he's definitely the one that did it yeah but here's the thing right crumble you can just say lawyer and then they say well now we think he's guilty because he asked for a lawyer but it doesn't matter what the detectives say i watched the night of a couple nights ago it doesn't matter what the detectives think it matters what the jury thinks yeah that's just that's just a tactic detectives use can they tell the jury he asked for a lawyer the second we brought him in here i cannot hold that against you

i don't think they can hold that against you in any way no that's your legal right yeah i think even if i were not guilty and i got brought in for an interrogation of a murder i'd immediately ask for a lawyer no if i was not guilty i would want to cooperate so much that i proved it i like to please men so i might do the same and in fact i might want to do that so much that i would implic implicate myself and you'd make it look like you were guilty because you tried to please the men so much i'd want to stick around longer they'd be like do you want a coffee and i'd be like any chance you can get an iced oat milk latte with an extra shot of espresso you would be like the central park five you get it, they get a false confession out of you

because you just wanted to make them happy with the situation. And that's happened before. It happens all the time. There was a Netflix talk about a guy who was falsely admitting to crimes he didn't commit. And it cleared up all the open cases at that place and they were so thrilled about it.

But then everyone was like, dude, there's this guy, we have this guy in Hawaii. heard of that yeah like he wasn't in fucking oklahoma when 14 bodies were went missing but does for like for like the the brooklyn five thing or the central park five uh that's one that i would be like throwing shit around being like, I didn't fucking do it. But the night of thing, I mean, dude, don't you think that that case was such a closed case right off the bat? That person is just driving away with the hood of their car open or the trunk. Don't you think that you would, that was so open and closed that that wouldn't even have like gone to trial?

No, I don't agree. You don't agree? don't agree i mean you're what do you mean that he didn't do it no that he did do it i know he didn't do it supposedly even though we never even find out if he did it or not the problem is that he they were like plead guilty because you are not going to win and he was like i didn't do this i'm not pleading guilty you think the jury in real life would have voted six six that in no way he was with the girl he stabbed the girl consensually and then she woke up the next morning dead with a hundred knife wounds around i can't remember exactly why they were able to switch some of the jury's mind to

i don't know i didn't like but you're. Your point is valid. I think that like, you know, in the real world... That dude's going to jail for life. You find the murder weapon on the person. Yeah. He fleed the scene.

That's the end of it. He asked the cops if she was dead before he even... before he was even supposed to know what happened. This is something... By the way, this...

It's all fiction. ...moves us towards another point which I've been meaning to ask you both for a long time. In The Sopranos or other mob shows, they'll kill a guy with a gun, and then they leave the gun at the scene.

And I looked up why they do that. You've seen The Sopranos? I have not. I've seen other mob movies and stuff, though. You guys are in for a treat. Yeah. All right, so what happens? Why do they do that?

Well, I looked it up, and they tell them, leave the gun, don't bring the gun. And the reason is that if they were to be found later holding the gun, then the murder weapon is on the body, and then the case is wrapped. But I always thought, well, they're not using gloves, and they're doing it in front of witnesses. Isn't it easy to then pick up the murder weapon and then take the fingerprints?

Well, when do those movies take place? It's in the 90s. It is. So DNA testing was well available. Yeah. I don't know, dude. I think those mob movies are like, I don't know, an American gangster, Den Like I don't know An American gangster Denzel Washington Shoots a dude in the head

In broad daylight On a busy street And nothing happens Because he's like Because he like Runs the city Right So I think that's

Probably an aspect to it Give us a little Denzel What did he say When he did it What happens in that one He like puts the jar In the guy's chest He puts the jar

Yeah Give us the money You owe me Type of shit What does he What does he say i don't know what he's a salt shaker he's asking oh yeah he goes and he dumps out all the sugar or the salt or whatever from the restaurant and then he's like 20 he's asking for a percentage with his big and then he pulls out the gun and the other dude's like you're gonna shoot me in broad daylight he's like you're gonna shoot me in front of all these people and then he just blows his head off while all of his brothers are

watching it's pretty good and then he goes and then he goes right back restaurant yeah that's that's a great fucking movie that's a good movie but it was probably scary to live through 100 the 80s in new york imagine if we were podcasting in 1980 in new york well i think we're heading back towards that time and is there any part of you guys that thinks this is great that our city is devolving into such a bad state such a lawless place that we will be able to tell our children that we lived through it what what makes you think that it's going to devolve back into the mob running the city i just think we're heading that way i think with all the people on the subways getting maced, all the rat carcasses that you have to run over to get home,

we're not far off. But that shit was, that's probably like a utopian society compared to the 80s when 3,000 people a year were getting murdered. Now like 250 people a year get murdered in New York. Murder rate is down, but... That can't be true 250 there's isn't that a million people in new york on bro it's only it's only like it's it's only that many maybe like 300 murder rates way low that's awesome not in chicago though i think it's

still pretty high there most people get killed in chicago that's like a 50 percent of citizens i'm not moving out there yeah who's the're not getting me killed. Who's the first Chicago office person that's going to get killed? To get murdered? Yeah. Who do you think? Oh, Nick. It's got to be Nick. Probably, right?

Nick is always up for murder. Yeah. To get murdered, not to be the murderer. First one to murder, also Nick, but smoking. Nicky smokes, you think? Oh, yeah. I could see him- Killing a hooker or some shit? Yeah, dumping see him uh killing a hooker or something dumping sack and strangling a hooker or something like that like a limitless situation where he's gonna wake

up and he's not even gonna remember it happening yeah just like stumble out of his fucking chicago office with rings of cocaine around his nose i woke up this morning still had cocaine in my nose how about him getting fucking nominated for all those awards? Who? Jelly Roll? Yeah. JR? He's nominated for two Grammys.

Yeah, I know. That's cool. He's nominated for everything. You guys hit him on the pot, right? That's why the fucking windshield's bigger than the rear view. Rear view, man. That's cool. That's what my buddy kept on saying when we were playing Fortnite the other day.

He kept on losing. That's why the windshield's bigger than the rear view. That's why the windshield's bigger than the rear view. Is he referencing that? Yeah, yeah. He's right, though. Jelly Roll's 39 years old and fucking doing all that shit. Yeah, Jelly Roll's the man.

Dealing with Burt Kreischer and shit. Yeah. That means, yeah. That's how you know he's the fucking man. He's fully loaded. Roll and Kreisch in one room Holy shit To be a fly on the wall

Holy fuck Imagine the beers getting deleted in that room Only thing you need is Dana beers to that situation Glenny Yeah, they're going through Dream blunt rotation Glenny balls, Burt Kreischer and Jelly Roll Dana beers for sure

Sprinkling beers for sure. Sprinkling Beers, for sure on that one. They could probably drink 100 beers in an hour at the four of them. Wow, easily. Heroes of mine. There goes my hero. Pat was tweeting yesterday about how he drank 16 Bud Lights on Saturday. And then Dana Beers came back with a picture of 29 Holding it up like he was Dude that's not that

Like I've done I did 22 Come on dude Drinking 30 beers in a day is I put down 22 the day my sister graduated high school Because you were so god damn sad That she had graduated high school No because my cousin told me that she could drink more than me

And we started drinking at 1pm And then she went home at 7pm And she was like okay it's not worth it I had a six pack Yeah and then I was like well I can't I'm either going I'll show this bitch Yeah p.m and she was like okay it's not worth it i had a six pack yeah and then i was like well i can't i'm either going yeah well then it gets to the point where it's like i can't i'm either gonna keep drinking or stop drinking yeah and go to bed and it was 7 p.m so i'm like i just i'll just keep drinking and i drank the full 18 pack and then i started throwing

down just miscellaneous beers that we had in the house i was i drank 18 bud lights and then i dived into fucking like i had there was like a bottled guinness extra stout and then like an october fest sam adams dude a mike's hall how are those going down how are you drinking those at that point that was when i took two weeks off of drinking after because then i woke my mom woke me up at like 10 a.m the next morning to help her move something and she was like you must feel real she first of all she came up to my room and she was like did you have people over last night because i was just downstairs i was downstairs watching kill tony on the tv i don't know dude i i'm your poop that the next morning must have looked like when they open up a bag of marked bills oh yeah just fucking... Just had a nasty splatter.

That's a fucking... That's disgusting. But you were probably like, Mom, I'm fucking preparing for the case race. No, I literally... I'm practicing for work, Mommy. That was the reason that they were concerned was because I wasn't hungover at all. I woke up the next morning just fine.

Just got up and hopped to it. But I'm not uh i'm i'm really getting close to just quitting drinking forever i can't deal with the hangovers anymore dude that's not true you're such a fucking joke what are you talking about i don't know why everyone says this when i drink every when i say this it's such a weird thing to get it's a weird thing to get defensive i can't handle the hangovers anymore. You are seven years away. When me and you go out and drink, you have two cocktails

and I drink 30 beers. Because I'm 34. I don't know, man. I just know it's getting to an issue. You need to keep drinking for another eight years and then you can start falling down. It's going to become a big problem at some point.

You're the boy who cried shredding a cat. I i just took a week off dude i just took a week off and then i relapsed in st louis what do you need a sponsor you need a sponsor on the road you're fine you're 22 it's not a dramatic thing dude i drink like when i'm drinking i'll i put down like a hundred beers a week. As you should. As you should. That's so much beer. And then I wake up and I want to fucking kill myself. And I'm standing in the mirror grabbing my tits.

And I'm like, what am I doing, dude? Why did I stay out until 4 a.m. on a Tuesday last night and then eat 2,200 calories of Taco Bell when I got home? Because you didn't go to college? And then I wake up. Where that behavior is so typical and fun and wonderful it's just you need a recipe for disaster you need to backfill i feel so good when i don't drink i love drinking with you i don't want you to stop you got it then you got to find a new drinking buddy i don't want to throw in a couple zips with you here and there zips 0.0 no You'll do a fucking zip of fucking weed, probably. No.

Am I wrong to keep him, to stop him from doing this? No, he's not only lying to us, he's lying to himself. I'm not lying. You're right. I'd say I've got two years max of drinking in me. It's not even worth...

Two years max left before I have to quit drinking. Dude, I'm not, I'm incapable of drinking one beer. That's literally alcoholism. You're 22 years old. I'm a full-blown alcoholic. No 22-year-old drinks one beer. Bro, I can't, I can't even, like, if I drink one beer, it's going to be, then I'm out, I'm playing pool. I'm playing pool with some dude who I talked to once before then until 5 a.m.

And then he's sleeping on my couch. The American Journal of Medicine says that statistically it's impossible for anyone under the age of 29 to be an alcoholic. That's true. Well, they haven't met me. I beat the odds. You can't even think. Anything before that is just fun. It's fun.

And if you go to. But it's not. The thing is, it's like I'm barely even having fun with it anymore. You Anything before that is just fun. It's fun. And if you go to. But it's not. The thing is, it's like I'm barely even having fun with it anymore. You're having a lot of fun. You're Schrodinger's alcoholic. I'm barely even having fun. I wake up the next morning and I'm like, that wasn't even that fun, dude. Well, then you're drinking with the wrong people.

You need to come have a couple pops with old Papa Fran over here. I try and then it hit the clock strikes 10.30 p.m. I got to go home. I am fucking am fucking gas i'm a responsible drinker that's that's the problem yeah and i found that when i was 30 and then i go outside and i'm like all right who else can i find to drink 10 more beers with yeah well you need to catch me on the right night remember that one time we went to the cellar yeah that was fun that was fun dude we got after it good hang 2 30 in the morning having pops around the table pops around the table that's a good hang though that's a good hang yeah it was a good hang i guess i couldn't get the fucking invite i guess my fucking invite i actually think i did invite i think i invited you that night yeah

run with court side with the boss i know you know we don't get those invites no we don't it was so funny bringing him to the fucking uh sixers game bringing dave to the six you brought him you're claiming that i brought him and he's bringing me to the celtics oh okay uh so but i literally brought him in the like back uh in like the the back uh entrance or whatever like it was good fellas like he walked in through the kitchen i was like okay we get right to our seats we got in they're like okay you can't you can't get your seats over here they sent us down the end of the row you can't get your seats there sent us down to the far end of the court you can't get your seats over there then they told us we need to walk up the steps through like the entire stadium to the top of the stadium yeah he was fucking furious he had to walk through the belly of the beast of

every single person the crowd being like prez can i get a picture yeah we were acting like we were about to like slide him in very discreetly to his seats we had to walk all the way up go back to like the entrance of the stadium where regular human beings get in and he's like oh this is getting talked about which is why i'm telling you guys right now to get ahead of the story before he fucking invariably uh he's gonna roast you before he invariably flames me to fucking kingdom come and then we had to go back down the stairs they told him he had to download the sixers app every fucking hoop imaginable when i went to the jets bills-Bills game this year,

I had to download the Jets app. It's so fucking stupid. That's Suite Life. Guys, I have a question. Yeah, you can go. Can I? Yes. I was going to make a funny joke, but I decided to hold it.

Wow, that is the first time. I'll just say it anyway. I was going to say when Dave brings you to the Celticseltics game they're gonna open up the top of td garden and have his helicopter land in the center of the court we're gonna raise from underneath the court like it's batman's lair yeah we're gonna crawl up in the fucking depths and then in a ball of smoke we'll leave under a pyrotechnic show boy you're lucky that roan tagged that because i don't know if yours was worth it. It was.

No, I don't think it was. I promise you the comments will all be saying they'll be like that. And you didn't even. That TD Garden opening the roof joke did not get nearly enough credit. No, that wasn't. You just, that wasn't even like, you didn't intend for that to be one to build on. You were like, this is the last. I'm a team player.

Every joke I have is intended to. I'm just throwing up alley-oops constantly. If we open up the fucking. I'm waiting for you boys to dunk td garden dave comes in on a helicopter and then that's how we work cleaned it up that's how we do we're team players oh my god here's a better joke which is what i was gonna say before you did that he gets the home run this is what i was gonna say all right let's hear it what do you think think about this for a Halloween costume this year? All right. So we've already passed.

I'm going to start touching you. God damn, I almost fell asleep. I know what you like. I want me to go after your sleep for a second. All right, continue. It'll be game over. October 31st, 2023, this year. So this is a couple weeks late.

Right. However, I think it's a good costume. What if you dressed up as taylor swift in the popcorn machine but with a glory hole for travis kelsey wow that's pretty funny right that's damn good all right what were we talking about before that no do do do the thing now add to it what's what that's funny front or back uh bro you're scaring us right now no the problem is the swifties would come for you like fucking oh that would that would literally be career suicide any type of funny costume it's a great costume but that sexualizing taylor swift is a yeah is a big cat already went down that oh yeah. That's right. Do you think that that actually happened?

That she was in the popcorn machine? I don't know if it was in that one, but I know that when she goes on tour, she gets wheeled into the stadium in a fucking- In a suitcase, yeah. Big box. That's a real thing that's confirmed? Yeah. That's crazy, dude.

She does it like in Ocean's Eleven when the little Asian guy goes underneath the bar cart that they're wheeling out. Or like the room service cart that they're wheeling out. How is there not just like a back door? Because even the back door, people are like waiting at every entrance for her. Like the cops and the Blues Brothers. Stage is in the middle. She performs in the round or whatever. There's no other way to get there.

That's got to be such a dehumanizing feeling. All right, Taylor. Time to crawl into the popcorn machine again it was probably her idea it's probably like she's like all right here's here's an idea she probably thinks it's like cute and like a disney movie like she's like yeah that's i mean i bet you imagine if every time you had to go up on stage they're like all right francis take your shoes off you're not going to fit inside of this suitcase it's kind of fun, though. Happy to lug you in.

It's kind of fun. You're literally luggage. You end up getting a moment of darkness. You're probably meditating in there. Yeah, you're thinking about what's about to happen. There's anonymity. She's also 6'2", 180. Is that right?

No. That's usually the height and the weight of the model wearing a shirt I want to buy online. Model is 6'2", 180 pounds, and is wearing a large. Oh, man. She is. I swear to God, though, she is a... She's tall. She's tall, and she's healthily built.

Yeah, she's a healthy, tall lady. Jesus. I'm not saying that. She's a healthy a healthy gal yeah healthy usually doesn't apply that's what i'm talking about regular health it's her health i bet her blood work is phenomenal yeah she did a genetic methylation test like 10 colors yeah she's fucking crushing it with her big body. My friends are starting to send sound bites of Trump again. Oh, yeah. As he's heating up the campaign trail. And I have to say, they're so funny.

What did he... I haven't seen any good ones. Did you see him talking about the golden shower thing? No. Oh, my God, dude. What was it? I might have seen it. Well, do you remember when they talked

about how like he hired all those russian hookers to yeah yeah pee on him or something that was like part of that report was debunked so he was like he's talking about how when that report came out like he was like that was a i'm not gonna do trump because i can't but he's like that was tough to to go back and tell the lady about, like tell Melania about. He's like, but even she didn't believe that one. She didn't believe that. She knows what a germaphobe I am. Like a golden shower.

That's so funny. Not my thing. I don't think that's good. That's unreal. It is so fucking funny, dude. That's amazing. The funniest, my favorite Trump thing forever has been the one where, what was it? Was it Puerto Rico where they had the floods?

There was a hurricane. He had the floods. And he's throwing individual rolls of paper towels. He was shooting them like a basketball. And the whole country is under like three feet of water and he's throwing in paper towels. Or even when they said that he had like uh a small dick do you remember that and he like addressed it during one of the debates he's like i've never had any complaints no one's ever said small they're actually very big everyone's always said it's fucking hilarious

that he would like because most people wouldn't dignify anything with the response yeah and now he goes right down the barrel of any accusation do you think he has do you think he's aware of how much people like the funny shit that he does absolutely to the point that he has like writers now i mean i don't really think there's like some big name comedian out there who's like i don't need i don't think he also i don't think he needs a writer like nobody can write for him yeah that's true because the shit that he comes up with you it's also it's not like if i it's not comedy funny it's just insane yeah it's like this is the president talking about golden showers can you imagine that my hair golden shower not being afraid to talk about that it's like no one's ever seen that before have you ever seen

the coke one the coca-cola no i don't think so the coca-cola it's a tweet and he's like the coca-cola company is unhappy with me that's okay i'll still drink that garbage yeah his uh his like anything people found wrong with him has completely been waved away oh yeah not only because of uh joe biden like uh kind of being like a puttering puttering guy but uh also that like the world's like super crazy right now yeah it's like tons of crazy shits going on then everybody's like what what did we dislike about him like people kind of forget exactly it's like it's like when you have a an ex-girlfriend and all you think about is like how great the sex was and you're like you know what i i kind of i feel like i did her wrong

you know i don't know i should i should have been better i should have been more patient you're like yeah sure she'd come home late at night, you know, and she would microwave my car keys. Short conversations with her were like fucking dragging nails across a chalkboard. But that only happened a couple of times. And, you know, I should learn to be more forgiving and patient. It could be like we get back in the car with Trump, though, and it is like a terrible conversation. Yeah, you get back in the car and you're like fucking for a couple weeks

and it's awesome and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I forgot. I forgot that. Yeah. Has there ever been a president that's lost their second election and then gone it back?

Just won it again? Garfield, I think. Garfield? It might have been Garfield. I thought it was Grover Cleveland. Grover Cleveland. I get those two confused. Just won it again. Garfield, I think. Garfield. It might have been Garfield. I thought it was Grover Cleveland. Grover Cleveland. I get those two confused. You're absolutely right.

I mean, dude, there's a good chance it happens. A great chance. He's certainly, he's leading the. He's leading the Republican Party. He's leading the Vegas like odds makers for 2024 elections. Really? Yeah. And he flipped like Pennsylvania and shit.

Are you guys gonna vote yeah it's good definitely are you gonna i don't know i i don't really want to vote for trump or biden i don't know if we need to get into that no let's get into this no that's weird dude don't make it weird it is interesting to think about though it's coming up fast i'm pumped i love that shit i love watching i love watching the fucking debates in the elections we're not far he's gonna light up hunter biden for sure oh yeah i would too hunter biden's fucking crazy those videos dude just him holding the fucking glock just ass naked with a poker biden should be funny hunter biden is funny

that should be a that's why i think he's gonna say something funny about it he'll be like biden like you need someone to write lines for you and speaking of lines yeah yeah yeah it should be a funny thing we should be he should be does does snl ever spoof hunter biden god no but but that's pathetic never biden is such a funny character's pathetic. They would never do that. Hunter Biden is such a funny character. Yeah, I know. They would never do that, though. Maybe they will in 2024. They must have at some point. Let's see if there's a Hunter Biden

SNL sketch. Stay away from the freaking politics, guys. This is not a political show yeah so let's talk ball let's talk ball for a little bit we're already we're well into the show yeah i'd like to i'd like to talk ball rome what do we think about eagles chiefs tonight i mean the show's gonna be out by the time yeah i know we can do you can just little preview it will be funny if they win funny

if they lose i i mean i i would not be funny this is insane, funny if they lose. I mean, I think... It will not be funny if they lose. This is insane. Do you remember how depressing I was? I could never even comprehend resting my arm on another man's upper thigh. It's crazy. I didn't even realize I was doing it. Yeah? What did you think it was? The couch.

That's how soft you are? There was an NBA player, Michael Beasley... I have seen this. ...who tries to massage his knee, and he massages this dude, tall over his knee next to him that video is so funny how is that possible i don't know you're probably just so like not focused you're focused so much on something else that you don't even realize it's not like you're do you you massage knee based on sight you do it based on feel like a blind guy can find his own knee it's not like uh seeing somebody else if my hand even like grazed the side of your sweatpants i'd be like oh that

wasn't my sweatpants yeah not to the point of a full massage um are those empties by the way is that whole case of beer over there empty no those are no it's been there for a fucking the entire time we've been recording here it's been the same same mic ultra that was because that was a night where I got a 12 pack of Bud Lights and I was playing video games with my friend and then 4am came around and I'm door dashing more beer more beer because we were so drunk that was a great

that was a fun night I'm depressed what's that from I don't know so there are Hunter Biden SNL skits wouldn't have known it all right well predictions for me i'm going eagles money line i already took the bet i think that's a i think that's a lock i think the eagles are clear favorites here they're my they're they're i know i know they're underdogs but i think that they should be i think

that's that's that's i don't think we're allowed to save free money but that's fucking free money right there wow and if i'm wrong clown my ass clip this out and clown my ass i think we can save free money we can now i talked to him for like but it's only for like another month though yeah and then and then we're not allowed to say all of this out and then we'll probably all get fired why what happens after a month we're probably i think we're getting i don't know probably new partnerships with different companies oh what happens after a month? We're probably, I think we're getting,

I don't know, probably new partnerships with different companies. Oh. So we got to really empty the clip right now with the problem terms. Yes. Like the thing that I sent Hank

from that episode, he said we could technically post it, but he said that it will be a headache in the future. Within one, within exactly one month. Yeah.

Damn. What the fuck are those rats doing out there right now? Is someone firing a gun? No. Wait, let's talk about HelloFresh before we get into our thoughts about the game. No, let's just do that after. I'll just add it in.

Okay. Let's just do it now. Let's just do it now. Well, someone has to add the graphic in anyway. HelloFresh. HelloFresh. The holidays are right around the corner, and HelloFresh Can help take the stress Out of dinner By delivering everything you need

To cook up tasty meals Right to your door Saving you tons of time HelloFresh is Extremely tasty It's really good And the variety of meal options It goes so deep

That you're never going to get tired Of eating HelloFresh And if you're good at cooking I'm sure it's a breeze And the word A guy like me It's more of like An arts and crafts project I feel like I was doing Legos When you're good at cooking, I'm sure it's a breeze. And the word. A guy like me, it's more of like an arts and crafts project. I feel like I was doing Legos when you're going back and you're checking and making

sure you did the right steps. Yeah, but it satisfies you. It does. As someone who's not good at cooking, this is the best way, the easiest way for you to achieve a well-cooked meal. 100%. Yeah. Without breaking the bank.

Yeah. I made those. I made a lettuce, these lettuce wrap burgers. Yeah. I've had wrap uh burgers yeah and they were so good the burgers and the lettuce so the term fresh is not a benign term in the title it's not you know it is genuinely fresh ingredients fresh and it's a salute to the supply chain honestly the fact that we can get fresh ingredients like that to our door that quickly it feels darn near farm to table the way that they do it over there most wonderful time of the year is also the most delicious time of the year enjoy everybody this holiday season with hello fresh over 45 weekly recipes over 100 curated pics from pics from hello fresh markets go to hello

fresh.com sun free and use code sunfree for free breakfast for life. Wow. For life. What? What? One breakfast item per box while subscribed is active. We're going to have to hit that one. That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash sunfree with code sunfree.

Free breakfast for life with the good folks over at HelloFresh. Honestly, I'm nervous about this game. I would be nervous too, dude. I'm excited. Well, you're talking about free money. Can I make a quick point? I haven't won a bet in weeks. I'm going to take a very, very

friendly shot at Roan here. Brother, it doesn't have to be friendly. Every once in a while, you have such a good't have to be friendly every once in a while you have such a good vocabulary yeah but every once in a while you use a word that is it i think it's not quite the one you're looking for that happens all the time well we're gonna just use fresh is not a benign word yeah this you meant to say say they're not using it lightly, right? I meant to say that it's not... They're not lying when they're saying it's fresh

because it's fresh as hell, fresh to death. Yeah, I meant that it's not just thrown in there. Yeah, they're not using it lightly. Yeah. Right. So it's not a benign word. Benign is like good. Just good.

That's all it means. Harmless. Ooh, I disagree there, brother. Benign. A benign tumor is the one that doesn't hurt you. It's not about tumors, but with tight copy, there's no benign words. There's no words that are superfluous. Superfluous does not mean benign.

But with copy, I think that it can. Is this right? Not a benign word. I've heard this used before with a playwright who every single word that they use is specific and useful. Wow. I mean, if this is true, then you're teaching this to me and i did not know it and i am impressed and i always admire you i thought and i'm and i'm gonna throw another word out here and i'm gonna commit the very thing that i'm accusing you of because i don't know if this

is the right um use of it malapropism which is what I might have just used. It might have been a malapropism on my part. Is that the right word that I'm thinking of? Or a word that is used in the wrong place, not meaning what you intend for it to mean? I think it does. That's what a malapropism is? So you're accusing me of a malapropism. Yeah. I am contending that not a benign word That not a benign word is a applicable phrase right there. And did you look it up? I looked up not a benign word in quotes, and I didn't find many. Hmm.

This is very interesting. Sound off in the comments. Please sound off in the comments. I don't mean to bring the podcast to a screeching halt. I think that I deserve to be... Yeah, but if I'm calling you out and I'm wrong, I should fuck my own face in. I think that the people

need to sound off in the comments. I can cut this if you want. No, don't cut it. We have to live and die by our own sword. People are questioning that Harvard degree already. We have to live and die

by this sword. I also wanted to do it because I thought of the word malapropism and I wanted to show that word because I thought of the word malapropism, and I wanted to show that word because that's an amazing word. That's an incredible word. I haven't thrown a malapropism in a while. Does that mean what we thought it meant, though?

Am I even right about that? I'm worried I'm not right about that. Take five. Take five. Cool out. Let me look up malapropism. Cool out for a second. I'm still deep into benign because I heard that phrase used before

and someone was like, there's not a benign word in there. And I... Oh, that's exactly right. Malapropism is taking use of a word in place of a similar sounding one. So it might be a malapropism on my part, but I've...

So I'm using somebody else's phrase maybe incorrectly. It might be a malapropism on my part, in which case, hand up. Listen to this, though, Ron. It says, the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect.

Like saying, a reptile dysfunction. Yes. Good example. This is fun. Do you have an example? Of a malapropos? A malapropism, yeah. Malaprapist?

And now I don't have any on the top of my head. I'm sure if you gave me a week or so, I could come up with some. What if you said, this would be a great one. I know I don't have any on the top of my bed. Ah. Like that would have worked. That's a great prop ism please sound off in the comments though does did what i say was it a malapropism or did it make

sense yeah yeah and again i don't even know if malapropism is right because benign is not a word that sounds like the word you intended to use. It still is the correct word. I'm just not certain that it works there. I think that's fair. I think that I need to be held accountable just like everybody else. And I need this to backfire so that I'm brought back down to earth and learn to shut the fuck up sometimes. We need our linguists in the chat to sound off. We don't got a lot of linguists in the chat to sound off. And you don't need to shut the fuck up.

We don't got a lot of linguists, unfortunately. Yeah, that's true. You know what I did with my little niece this weekend? I traced letters in her back and had her try to guess. You want to play that game? No, not at all. I'm going to spell something in your back

and you have to guess what it is. We can't do that. We got to do our ball segment and then we got to get out of here because this is getting long. We're already at like an hour and 20. Because we're not having an episode on Wednesday, so long is good. Yeah, that's true.

There will be no episode Wednesday. Prematurely ended an episode a couple weeks ago and everyone got mad at me for that. No, they didn't. No? No, I don't think people care. I was not premature, dude. That camera was not going to take anymore.

So, yeah. You ended it right at the exact time we needed it to end. It sounded like a vuvuzela. It was premature, dude. That camera was not going to take any more. So, yeah. You ended it right at the exact time we did it to end. It sounded like a vuvuzela. It was like... The entire time. But I'm scared about the birds, dude. I know that the Chiefs are a great squad. Last team to deservedly beat us.

I don't really count the Jets. We kind of kicked ourselves in the... To the Jets. We kind of shot ourselves in the foot. To the Jets. We kicked ourselves in the foot. Even the Patriots beat foot even the patriots beat the jets who the fucking bills lose to or who's your team this week the patriots no they're always always the patriots oh we're baring our teeth today yeah now the patriots are my team the patriots they're i mean it's their disgrace to the nfl it's uh

it's disgusting what i'm seeing yeah now, they sent Mac Jones back home, brother. Yeah, Mac Jones is probably never starting again, which is dumb because he's the best option. Zappy is fucking trash. Bill Belichick's leaving. He's going to the Chargers. The NFL this year, to me, has exhibited more parody than any other year. What do you mean by that?

Is that a malotropism? I believe you just malotropismed, didn't you? You're unknowingly making malotropisms of the word malotropism. There is more parody in the NFL this year. I think just the fact that all the players are more willing to try to make jokes and make fun of

themselves. Who's doing that? Travis Kelsey went on SNL. And he was making a malotropism of parity and parity that's exactly what i was doing and roan picked up on it and you didn't he's doing malapropisms he's a malaprop comic he's like carrot carrot top no but all all jokes aside uh i would say that who the fuck every i mean every week it seems like a team that's supposed to win easily gets beaten. And who's to say if there's a dominant team?

That's true. I guess the exceptions are the Eagles. But they made a loop of every team has beaten every team. You can make an argument that any team has better than any team. They connected the entire loop of... Six degrees of Francis Bacon. Yes, 100%. team they connected the entire loop of uh six degrees of francis bacon yes 100 brother you are you need a fucking fresh jewel pod badly is that what you want for your secret santa i'm about to

get you a fucking stocking stuffer full of jewel pods jps is there some uh hidden trove of mango pods somewhere no they're all they're gone come on they've been gone they've been gone for probably eight years now i don't know if I believe that. They got removed when I think I was a freshman in high school. Dude, if some guy in 1985 had the fucking wherewithal to shrink wrap a pair of brand new

Air Jordan 1s to then unveil them 30 years later and sell them for fucking hundreds of thousands of dollars, certainly someone has a trove of mango jewel pods somewhere with that i don't know i mean dude but shoes are something that have always been people have always been sneaker heads bro people are way more addicted to mango jewel pods than they were to buying air jordans hell no and in 85 that was before the

like sneakers were a massive trend yeah Yeah, that was before then. Nobody knew then. I would have known. See those over there? My ultralight wading boots, Sims brand. Or Orvis brand. Orvis. I used to show them to people every episode until you started complaining about it.

Because it's leaving goddamn marks on my walls. I'm not going to get security in my security deposit back. I'm going to have to pull the couch out and paint over this wall no you're not this these this wall already has the yellow hue of a a lifelong smoker having lived here these walls probably used to be white and then somebody was just smoking indoors for years and i gotta get some lamps dude you need to get some fucking wall art you need to get like just put up a poster like a fucking dorm room. It'll be better than this fucking lifeless. That's what you think and then you put up one poster and it looks even way more depressing.

It's bad. You either gotta go like 10 posters or no posters. You can't just have one poster on the wall. You need like 90 style. Yeah, like Budweiser posters. Yeah, like. Like girls wearing like booty shorts that say Budweiser on them. Or some shit like that.

Yeah, and then I can come home after a long day of work and go... Just beat off to a still image on your wall. Finally, my girls are here waiting for me. Or you could, every night, take a small rock hammer, peel the poster back, and dig a tunnel out...

Oh, yes. To the free world. uh that hospital in israel oh very nice i guess it's in gaza um let's see picks of the week 49 who plays on who plays on thanksgiving oh dude there's so much ball this week it's all nfc teams all nfc teams and then what i believe there's a friday who is there a friday game this week jets dolphins jets dolphins oh my lord and then saturday it's what ohio state michigan yeah oh penn state michigan state and then on sunday it's birds uh bills bills oh lord birds bills birds bees that's an unreal lineup of ball. Birds are playing Monday and Sunday. Yeah, back to back.

I got to believe at this point in the season to play a game with only whatever, five, six days rest is hell. They're saying that's how Joe Burrow got hurt. That's what, yeah, someone was just tweeting that. Really? Joe Burrow getting hurt was a pretty big blow to the whole season because he's fun to watch. He's amazing. So is Sean Watson,

but no one wants to say it. No, but I mean, no, they both... Just because he forced a couple dozen women to give him hand jobs, nobody wants to say how funny it is to watch. I mean, what, a guy can't get a fucking hand job anymore? I know, seriously. Alright, should we wrap this up? Why not? We're an hour and a half in.

Fun. Alright, you guys. Thank you for listening. If you made it this far, please be sure to like, subscribe, comment, repost, share. Throw it on the background, honestly. What's your favorite malapropism? Yeah. Comment your favorite malapropism. That's a good one.

What else? What else? Have a good Thanksgiving. We'll be back. There's going to be no live show on Wednesday. We'll see you guys a week from today. A week from today.

Back at HQ4. That is all. Thank you for tuning in. Goodbye.