Son of a Boy Dad - Boy Story 2, Part 1 - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 94

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

Nick and KB join the show in the first part of our crossover special. Part 2 is released tomorrow on ANUS platforms. We talk about priest football leagues, blind people in the city, not eating a calzone since tackle football, and give our predictions for Tommy Smokes in 2023. A lot more stuff is said in between. Enjoy. Ads: RexMD Get 90% off RexMD at rexmd.com/son #rexmdpod SoCo Learn more at https://barstool.link/SouthernComfortBSSYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right. Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. We are in the studio with KB and Nick. Thanks for having us, man. Of course.

Thanks for joining us. What questions do you have for us? I don't have any questions. I don't know why Rowan's looking at me like that. I'm saying you have for us? I don't have any questions. I don't know why Rowan's looking at me like that. I'm saying you're doing good. I think you're doing well. Okay. I think you're teeing them up good.

You're putting it, kind of putting them in a position to succeed. Well, we don't really have, so this is going well. There's not usually like a normal start to our show. Yes, there is. Do you guys cold open? I feel like you say, what is up, everybody? I feel like that's kind of your like launching point. Feels like you slowed down the pace of that.

No, you said, what is up slower? Oh, yeah. that's kind of your launching point. It feels like you slowed down the pace of that. No, you said a what is up slower. Oh, yeah. It's been getting slower and slower. Yeah. With the more enthusiasm I lose. It's tough because you pretend you do lose enthusiasm, but you lose enthusiasm no matter what someone else is doing. So if someone is really unenthusiastic, you'll match their low energy like what's happening

right now. So this is on us. But if someone is really enthusiastic, he'll go opposite. He'll go bad cop to their, to their high energy. I do sometimes. So it's never.

I do do that sometimes. Intentionally. Not intentionally. I think I just get like, I don't know. I don't know. We don't, I don't want to talk about myself.

Let's talk about it. How are you guys doing? It's a cool guy thing that you do. It is a cool guy thing I do. do yeah you always try to out cool me i'm a cool guy i catch myself trying to do cool guy stuff and i'm embarrassed when i realize it yeah i like i love reading and i refused to read stephen king growing up i was like fuck that shit because it's cool guy stephen king's cool guy no no i was like not liking something popular was cool guy now i have like three stephen king tattoos. You do? Yeah, I absorb that shit.

Have you ever seen that show that he did? What is it? He has like a mini show on HBO. The one with Franco? No. Fuck, it's going to kill me if I don't remember. While you do this, I got a segment. The Insider maybe?

KB, power rank this category. Calzones and strombolis. This isn't even close. I haven't had a calzone since tackle football. Stromboli? No. No. Calzone, stromboli.

Wait, what's the difference, though? Aren't they both just pizza dough flipped over? Stromboli. I'm sorry. Listen, I'm not eating either of those. Yeah, they're so good though. I wish I could eat them, but I just feel so fat about myself. I feel like how Lil Sass looks.

That's not nice. Heroin cheeks coming back. Like your time is now. You're the Kate Moss of Barstool. My cheeks are massive. They're not, dude. You thought I said heroin cheeks? What?

Didn't you say heroin cheeks? Heroin chic. Heroin chic. Heroin? That was like a thing in the 90s, like Kate Moss, when she was dating Depp. You know, low-rise jeans. Callista Flockhart. Models now, it's reverting.

It's, you know, style is a circle. And models now look like they're on heroin, just as they did in the early 90s oh yeah heroin since tackle football not since tackle football it's a time to do it that's like the models they look ugly i'm gonna say it yeah no models are ugly delavine ugly she's i mean scary I'm scared of Cara Delevingne. Dude, she... I was at a Knicks game way up high, and she was on Celebrity Row. I was scared. She was sitting next to Viggo Mortensen,

Aragorn, and I was more scared of her. She looks like the angry baby from The Simpsons. Have you ever seen, like, the mean other angry baby from The Simpsons? No, I haven't. She's got Cara Delevingne's face. Different than Stewie? Yeah, different than Stewie. Stewie was a nice baby from the Simpsons? No, I haven't. He's got Cara Delevingne's face. Different than Stewie? No, yeah, different than Stewie. Stewie was a nice baby from the Simpsons.

No stew, no griff? No griff, yeah. Y'all got no griff. Hold the griff. I will hold the griff. I was about to go into my point. You guys do have Stewies. Oh, we do, yeah.

Wait, is a beer called a Stewie? I think it's like a Boston slang, right? it a thing i've never heard you say that before yeah stewies yeah they're like yeah you got your stewie you got your griff and if you like you're if you don't have a beer like you got no griff but wait was it a is it a stewie griffin griffin reference you're not supposed to like like pick it apart like that. You don't acknowledge it. It's like when the British people say, I think you just made up a slang.

No, I can't take credit for that. Mook, you're shaking your head back and forth. Yes and no. It's a TikTok thing. I've seen it on TikTok. Bam. He's seen it on TikTok. You still on TikTok like that?

I'm on it every day, every night. Damn. Can you convince him to get back into it? I smoke a spliff and then watch TikTok. Oh, hell yeah. You're on the spliffs? You're smoking spliffs now? Yeah, I need some better shit. I got you. This place up here sells weed on the corner too. Wait, for real? Yeah.

I don't know how to go about it. I don't either. I went to one smoke store and I said, can I get a pre-roll? But I don't trust that. Pre-rolls are a garbagio. They put the shake in the pre-rolls, right? Yeah, I think they put the worst shit in there. I think you got to just buy their most expensive shit.

I smoked the shit that Big Cat gave us. That didn't even sound natural. I smoked the shit that Big Cat gave us for the Christmas. I smoked that shit too. I like that. I smoked that shit too. That gave us for the christmas uh i smoked that shit too i like that i smoked that had me feeling really good because it was mild every time i smoke i listen to quinn 92 and i feel like it's like what the fuck nirvana what's quinn 92 quinn xcx is that what it is you're the only one that calls it that that's why he's called that because that's stylized in roman numerals and no one's saying

quinn xxci but now yeah his music sounds so much better when you're high just all right when you're not damn i gotta try and listen to it yeah i heard the worst song i've ever heard today on a grammy nominated playlist i couldn't fucking believe it what was it it was should i try and play this song they snub jid who else they snub in their rap album? But Earthgang is nominated for one of them. Did that sound right? That sounded... That sounded... I laughed because that sounded too right.

That sounded good. Did they snub Jid or not? They might have, bro. They really might have snubbed Jid. All right. I'm gonna... The song is called The Message by the Blind Boys of Alabama

and Black Violin, dude. And these dudes must be ear blind because this shit fucking sucks. The blind boys of Alabama? And they're nominated for... Oh, yeah. And Jid's not. Right. Khaled is. They fucking snubbed Jid.

I think they actually are blind, though. Look at the dudes. I think they all are blind men. Unless they're dressed like that because of their... Yeah. And then the song is called The Message, bro. This song sucks. These dudes suck.

They do suck. This song sucks. It's got 75,000 listens on fucking Spotify. Oh, that's not a lot. Why'd they get nominated for a Grammy, dude? I'm pissed. Don't you have to get nominated for a Grammy? Isn? I'm pissed. Isn't the way, don't you have to, to get nominated for a Grammy

isn't all just about like paying? Yeah, and popularity. Or like you need to be There's gotta be some categories that you can sneak. It's like how Malasek is a goalie for the Czech lacrosse team.

Yeah, there's gotta be somebody that falls through the cracks. So you think it's like a blind category for blind musicians or some shit like that? They still wouldn't be top five.

Lined up in comers? The guy from Ex-Ambassador would be up there. Wonder, Charles. Are all the famous blinds black? Yes. Musicians. Outside of Keller.

Oh, it's Kat. I don't know. It's probably the only musicians that you hear about. It's probably the only blind people that you hear about. A blind actor would be funny.'s probably blind actors they're just like facing away from the person that they're doing their lines to listening to music not making it right easiest thing they could do honestly it's just as easy for us blind people should be the best critics of music dude being a blind right these guys don't even know fantano should be

ran out of town by some blinds. They really should be the needle drop boys. They can probably hear it the best. I don't fuck with Fantano, but go ahead. I do. You do? As a character, I don't agree with his takes. I don't even know about his takes.

He's thicker than you'd think, too. He is a thick Mark Rubbier, but I just don't like that he just tells you what's good and what's bad, dude. Him reacting on TikTok is the most pompous. Ooh, I'll have to check that one out. Fuck, nah. But me hearing this was the closest I ever got to Fantana. Hearing that song, it made me understand

how Fantana feels when he hears Drake. I just fucking hated it right away. I thought it sucked. I don't think I like drake oh i love drake yeah he's the fucking best you gotta listen to the old drake probably is you gotta listen to any drake i'm not listening to any drake don't listen to the new the new drake sucks you're influenced by fantana that's probably why you like fantana because he doesn't like no no no because i don't really agree i don't have the same musical taste as him i don't think i i don't have the same musical taste as him. I don't think I, I don't like Beyonce. I don't listen to Beyonce.

He loves Beyonce. Clip that. Let, let get him. I'm fucked. Duet it to smitheries. I'm fucked. What don't you like about Beyonce?

She's not a queen to you or? No, she's definitely a queen to me and she's definitely a girl boss. Um, but she's overrated. That's what you were telling me earlier. Somebody clip that. You guys are sitting next to me. You're implicated too.

You're white asses. No, I'm about to put on the cape. I don't feel like it's my place. I don't feel like it's my place to critique Beyonce. The music's not for me. She's the best performer. I'm going to sit down and listen to her. As a guest in the culture though,

you need to educate yourself about her and listen to her entire catalog. I'm a student of the culture. But you also a guest i am so you need to listen yeah you need to listen bro y'all need to sit your asses down and listen you need to listen for once visiting this culture to beyonce you say it must suck to be a blind person in the city yeah i see loads and loads of them there's so many yeah because the fucking blind house down there right but like does it have to be in new york part big part of new york see in new york yeah but there's probably enough sensory stimulation it probably is one

of the stinkiest cities yeah right yeah they get the smells and the sounds that's oh for two how do you how do you think they get around? I haven't even touched something fire in New York I've not touched a single good thing in the city No Feel this chair This might be one of the better feels in the city Feel this Yeah, that's what I'm saying That's a way fair chair

I could get that in Licking County, Ohio Yep Oh, okay, you're saying nothing specific to the city Music critics should be without They should be deaf and they shouldn't be able to smell They should have limited senses Yeah shouldn't be able to smell. They should have limited senses. Yeah.

They should be able to put their hand on a stove and not feel a thing. Yep. Because if I'm listening to like a new artist in a subway, that might affect how I perceive the music. Yeah. A subway sandwich shop? Yeah. That's a sensory overload. Right.

Yeah. That'd be way too much. But they need to have taste, ironically. That's the one sense or the other sense that they do need to have. It's true. You know what the fuck I'm talking about. Of course. So should food critics only have taste, Kyle? Seeing food is important.

Seeing the presentation is part of it. Yeah, people overrate the presentation. Yeah, or I hate when they put something on the plate that you can't eat. Yeah. You know what they don't? They don't give a fuck about the presentation up in upstate New York. They just throw random ingredients on a plate and people shovel them into their mouths. Yeah.

Yeah, because people, it's at a premium to be fat up there. I love it when you see a good slob, though. Remember that slob we saw in Lawrence, Kansas? We damn near pulled over. I've never seen a bigger slob in my life. Are you talking about a person? Yeah, yeah. Are you talking about a full-on mumpto?

I'm talking, what? A full-on mumpto? What's a mumpto? You know what I'm talking about. Like a slob. Like a crossing guard. Like a fat crossing guard lady. They don't have to be a crossing guard. She's got three elbows on each arm. They cross-guarded the best. This was a guy,

a balding man in a basketball jersey and like pajama pants and flip flops. Like the slob, the king of the slobs. Where was he walking? I don't think anywhere in particular. But he was just loafing? Yeah, probably to get pork rinds.

Yeah, that's what slobs love. Yeah. They really do, but not because they're ketotic, ketosic, but just because they want to fucking eat some pork. They just need, that's the cheapest way to get pork in your body. Rinds. I need pork, but I don't have much money. I have had those way too often because I can taste them and feel them and smell them right now.

I can feel the snap. Why have I had them several times? Because they're keto. I've never bought them. It's like the pop rock of the chip community. They fizzle in your mouth. Yeah. And different parts of the country have them in like different ways.

They like taste different in different gas stations. You go down to the South or the Midwest, I think the pork rinds taste a little bit different. The Mexicans love them too. The Mexicans are obsessed with them. I don't know how the- They love pork rinds and rush hour too. The Mexicans do? And they love Call of Duty Warzone.

Every single time my proximity chat is a Mexican dude, and you can't understand a lick of what they're saying. Ron, you probably could. You're pretty good at... Accents? Mexican. No, you're good at Spanish, aren't you? Piche gringo!

Yeah. Dude, it's all Mexicans on the proximity. It's crazy. Por favor, manténganse alejaros de las puertas. See? Ron knows like seven languages. He just doesn't admit to it. You're a polygot?

No, I just know whatever they say in Disney World. Please stay and clear the doors. I can say that in every language that they say. That's what that was. Por favor, manténganse alejaros de las puertas. Yeah, he knows languages. That's sexy, though. Yeah, that sounds good. He knows languages. Por's sexy, though. Yeah, that sounds good.

He knows languages. That's what I say to the... I want to learn a language. ...the cleaning people and stuff like that. And they'll be like, yeah, absolutely. It means to be is to serve because God is love. I love how your cleaning person impression was like the cleanest English ever. Yeah, okay, Adam.

I speak to her in fluent Spanish and she's just like, yeah, I get it. I understand what you're saying. You don't have to do this. But she needs a friend badly. You think so, lady? She does need a friend. You think or do you think she I think maybe she might just prefer to just keep her head down. I think she hates us. She does because

everyone, you're all rude as fuck. I'm not rude as fuck. She walked past me putting all that snow in the studio for the Christmas special when she was livid. I just meal. She was pissed. But there's the dude

who works the elevators back there. You know who I'm talking about? This thin black dude. He's always trying to fuck her. Is he? He's always. I didn her is he? really? he's always he seems more like a robot the other dude is super

he's a robot around us she comes around and he starts speaking rush hour 2 Spanish wasn't she trying to fuck Caleb for a while? the cleaning lady? yeah I think she was I'm not supposed to say that? I don't know about this Caleb for a while? The cleaning lady? Yeah. No, no, no. No, I've heard that.

I think she was. What do you mean? I'm not supposed to say that? No, no. I don't know about this. Oh, yeah. What did she say? Bro.

How did she offer? Who did you hear that from? My lips are sealed, bro. Obviously not. She just followed him into the men's room and slipped off like a robe? Yeah. Why is the cleaning lady in a silk robe? Following Caleb. Fast as fuck. barefoot down the hallway

little tiny steps i just heard like the pitter patter in my head yeah just little padded ass feet damn dude let's talk about soco whether you're at a festival tailgate or relaxing after finals soco is the ready forfor-anything whiskey. It's packed with flavor and makes a mean SoCo sour. SoCo Black has the right balance of sweetness, wrath, and smoke flavor for those who like

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choice and choose Soco. Click the link in the description below to see more cool stuff from Soco. KB, do you want to have some Soco? Do you feel like that would be a fun thing to drink? If you were going to drink, can you fairly say that? Soco and lime, easy first choice.

A nice bold whiskey to go with the Christmas season. Get some of the tree. Have a nice bold Soko. Right by the fire. Maybe I'll have myself a Soko sour shot today. And I will do this and I will get my Soko by

clicking the link in the description below to see more cool stuff from Soko. Where did you hear that, Sass? I don't remember. Someone told me. this and I will get my SoCo by clicking the link in the description below to see more cool stuff from SoCo. SoCo. Where did you hear that, Sass? I don't remember. Someone told me. Probably Rone. No, probably Tommy's gossiping ass. Oh, yeah. Tommy can't keep a secret. Everywhere around him is sunken ships.

Because everyone goes to him for some reason, for like gossip. The benefit of Tommy having such a good year this this past year is next year is he hits his tipping point and then the the people turn on tommy smokes this coming year pretty banking on that is that a prediction for you new year's prediction tommy smokes gets turned on for the first time from people in the company uh no like uh well public maybe both maybe the the people in the company there's too much gossip maybe in the public

they're just there's an overexposure. The downfall of Tommy Smokes is nigh. Is that your Tommy Smokes prediction for next year? Yeah. I think he's going to die in a car crash. Really? Yeah. I don't.

I think he's going to have some sort of weird... Die? In a car crash, yeah. His body's too floppy, though. He's like a crash test dummy. Save this clip. Yeah. Stoolies Clubhouse. His body's too floppy though. He's like a crash test dummy. Save this clip. Boys, any Tommy Smokes predictions?

I think Kyle was car crash as well. No, I cannot believe I haven't. I cannot believe it. No, I'm talking about Tommy. What? I'm talking about Tommy. Yeah, I'm talking about me. No, you're the worst driver.

Whenever I go home to West Virginia, my license is fired. Check my stuff. Yeah, I'm talking about me. No, you're the worst driver. Whenever I go home to West Virginia, my license is fired. Check my stuff. Yes, once. Owen drove on the wrong side of the road during a snowstorm. God awful. He was on the wrong side of the road. It was the middle of a blizzard, and he was dead asleep.

Driving? Driving. How can you drive dead asleep? Dead asleep. I can see you falling asleep while you're driving, but continuing to drive. And then we were with Corey Rutledgeledge it was a rediscovering and like they got into it and then i was like yeah i was asleep oh jesus yeah he got in the back seat i was fucking asleep he came clean but driving with kyle we've talked about this on on anus it's it's i'm thankful because i don't have a license but you you can't see. I've logged the most miles and I don't know accidents.

I've never been in an accident. I've been in accidents, but it's only been me hitting stationary objects. Oh, that's all your fault. Yeah. Yeah, it's terrifying that like a lot of the worst accidents are just not your fault. That is scary. You're just sitting there and you get fucking blasted from behind or some shit. Pause.

Shit. Yeah. Yeah. And it's's crazy it happened at any second do you think you're a defensive driver i'm pretty i just can't i can't follow the maps or like the gps i don't know like the perception of the arrows so i'll always turn right too early really late i feel like i'm really good at the perception of the arrows but only when I'm helping someone. Only if I'm in the passenger seat, my perception gets crazy, and I point to exactly which road with a long arm. Maybe you just need to bring me on a road trip.

Yeah. Sounds like you're lukewarm on that. I've hit someone, yeah. I went to go. I've gone hit someone. What went to go i don't hit someone you said you've never been in an accident yeah it was an all-purpose it was an all-purpose yeah it was in a driveway um i was going to perform services i'm gonna i was gonna eval a two-year-old uh for potential autism i had my suitcase filled of toys and puzzles and it was

my first home visit to this family in Youngstown and I pulled in and I rear-ended the car and I was freaking out. I was like, what do I do? Do I tell them? It was loud. I'm waiting and I'm like,

all right, I'm not going to tell them because one of my coworkers got in a car accident weeks before and had to do a drug test. And I'm like, I can't do that. And then I see the... The blinds the blinds open up and they saw it no yeah they looked out like i said listen like i just smoked spliff i think i did i did shrooms last week but i think that's probably won't show up on my on the test. But just full transparency.

I'm just going to run this by you. Full transparency. This is what could happen to me if you make this a thing. And I went to Breakaway Music Festival last week. So, you know, I had to drop, drop it. Odessa headlines. Come on, get out of here. I think I just told them that.

They were like, yep, yep, I understand. And they poked me. Uh-huh. And that kid scored a 100% on his eval. It was a trade-off. He was chronically autistic. I saved him from a diagnosis. You saved him from a diagnosis.

He dodged the autism. For probably like three years, saved him of getting clowned. That was like four years ago, so he probably has one now, saved him of getting clowned. He probably, that was like four years ago, so he probably has one now, a fresh one. How old was he then? He was like under 25,

26 months. Oh, so he was going to be getting clowned by the other sub-two-year-olds? Yeah, because we get them ready for preschool. Well, you know who else really clowns him? The other moms. Oh, yeah. Like you find out that the other kid's autistic and all the moms are like, did you hear this? Moms love to whisper. Oh, and they'll flame

a little baby for being autistic. They'll flame them. Is that a thing? Yes. That seems pretty dark. Well, they want every kid to have it worse than their child. Moms are absolute bitches. They're competitive.

Not my mom, but probably everybody, every other. Probably yours. Definitely mine. I've heard things about your mom. Shut the fuck up. Bad things. What? What?

What did you hear? She hates autistic babies. She's one of the main gossipers against the autistic? She'll be posted up outside of the autistic school. Dude, she's still outside of schools gossiping. I'm 30. She's talking to the new moms. I bet he's got it. See how he's not looking at anyone?

Remember when moms used to tell you someone was gay? They did it in the most condescending way. They were like, did you hear? Don't make fun. It's not a bad thing. But he's... There's something wrong with him. It's not bad. Nothing he can do about it.

Yeah. But he loves cock. Loves. Dude, I don't think I ever went to school with someone who, like, came out as gay. What do you mean? Like, there was kids who were like, okay, that guy's gay for sure. Oh, yeah. But I don't think anyone was like...

People weren't really coming out in high school. Maybe, like, a couple. Maybe, like, two. You could tell, though. Yeah, everyone knows. The born gay kids were hilarious yeah because they're so gay oh my god the who which one the born gays oh yeah the funniest people oh my god the gay by choice kids fucking suck yeah they're fucking terrible

yeah but the born gays the born gays are hilarious and there's the gays who you know college gays who played youth sports growing up. Now they listen to AJR or whatever. Yeah, yeah. They follow the super intent. No. Not J. No, no, no.

It's a joke, bro. I'm just joking. Dude, one of the Boring Gays from my high school couldn't have been more Boring Gay, right? Like, we all knew. It was high noons. But he really didn't know that we all knew. Yeah. Like, we all knew. It was high noons. But he really didn't, he didn't know that we all knew. He's a priest now, bro.

He just went fucking, he went the whole other, the whole other way. And it's just like a fucking Jesuit priest. You got a, you want to switch? Horseshoe theory.

You got a born gay priest? Yeah. I'd imagine a lot of priests are gay. Wait, what's horseshoe? Oh, all of them. Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, I forgot about that. All priests are gay. Wait, what's horseshit gay? Oh, all of them. Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, I forgot about that. All priests are gay, dude.

No, I think there's some that aren't. There's some that like are Penn State fans and shit like that. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. Feel good, bro?

The priest in our school, he would go on the eighth grade trips with us. school uh he would go on the eighth grade trips with us and one time they had to we all had to leave the restaurant because he had a tantrum in the restaurant he was an alpha i'm not talking about that one i'm talking about the one after him he had a tantrum the priest had a tantrum yeah he was the priest uh he's no longer there he was also an alcoholic he had to go to rehab oh so he's gay yeah he's just no our priest the other, our Latin teacher, he was an alpha. Alpha priest. Yeah, he would flirt so hard. He was our college football coach.

With the dudes? Our tackle football coach. He probably had some calzones with me. Probably, bro. That sausage. I remember he would use the word pussy. I was like one of my first times hearing it. As a priest?

Yeah. Yeah. He would call the players pussies and he would threaten to fight other coaches what and um he acted like bill cower so he like intentionally like jutted his jaw you know how some people's personalities are like the fact that they almost went d1 yes his personality was that he was like the all-star of the seminary league yeah which exists i guess football like all of his goss or his sermons or whatever yeah involved he would like do a metaphor of how he was playing how he played in the seminary league but football or like softball football there's seminary he was

also this yeah this was he's old so this had to been in oh he's dead 60s he's no longer living that's what i'm talking what he died for talking die from? Talking shit on his grave. Old age. Old age? Yeah. But these dudes are in the fucking seminary playing 11 on 11. There's like tight ends. Dude, it has to be the most brutal league. It has to look like NFL Street out there

because those guys can't come. Yeah. They can't fucking come. No, they can't come. I think they can come. I don't think they can come. They can't jerk off. Not by their own hand.

Not by their own hand. These dudes, dead broke, can't come. Can't even flirt. Oh, they flirt. That's how they get off. You never heard the ladies say that guys that are broke have the best dick, though? Oh, that is true.

These priests probably could have knocked the bottom out of a bitch if they had only had the desire. But the problem with the seminary league is there's not multiple seminaries around. They had only had the desire. Yeah. But the problem with the seminary league is like, there's not, uh, like there's not multiple seminaries around. Like there's only one seminary per area.

So like to, to travel. I don't know if it was not nationwide. I think it was like, it was local. It was from like the Cleveland area. I think it was just Northeast Ohio seminary league. But there,

how many seminaries are in Northeast Ohio? There's probably like only one. I don't know. I think it was every, it was just intramural. I can't imagine priests playing football. That is true what you said, Broke Boys. The less you have in your home, the better you are.

Your dick game is steak sauce. Dude. That's why I don't have a single paint. I have nothing on my walls. The lawn chair. To pretend. You can't fake it. I tried to fake it.

Yeah, exactly. Dude, Father Jim,. Yeah, I tried to fake it. Yeah, exactly. Dude, Father Jim, I think, founded the air raid offense. Was he a beast? Dude, he called 10 Hail Marys in a game. That was like fucking penance. Unbelievable.

You guys had a father? I had a Father Jim, too. Oh, everybody did. Yeah, I guess so. Mine was Father Jim Martinez, though. He was like a fucking... Do his voice. Did you guys all go

to Catholic schools? Yeah. Damn. Damn. They weren't allowed to watch PG-13 movies, or are they? Yeah, they probably are. Are they allowed to listen to... It depends which denomination.

I think Jesuits can. Franciscans probably can't. Jesuits are the bad boys of priests, though. They are. They're always a little bit better looking. And they're into comedy and shit like that. Jesuits are. bad boys of priesthood. They are. They're always a little bit better looking. And they're into like comedy and shit like that. Jesuits are. They love AJR. They're obsessed with AJR.

I'm surprised there hasn't been like a comedian priest. That's like a Netflix special. They'll fork out so much money for that. Yeah. I think Charlie Kelly from Always Sunny had like a bit about like doing a, or it was a Buddhist priest. And it's just like having like doing a, or it was a Buddhist priest. And it's just like having like a super like religious set at a comedy store. Wait, a Buddhist comedian?

A Buddhist comedian. Comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did I say? A Buddhist priest. It's like somebody with a speech impediment. What are you listening to? Buddhist priest.

Buddhist priest. Oh my God. When we did a... I did a video about an OnlyFans girl that got taken down immediately. I remember. Yeah, you got cancelled hard. That was before I barely even knew you then.

And there was also a priest in that video who also... Oh, I remember. Was he a TikToker? He was a TikTok. He was like a comedian priest. He was like a dancing comedian priest or whatever and and we like uh we like edited the video to make him look like he was like sad about something that he wasn't sad and he was like more pissed off than the only fans girl really he's like i'm gonna pray for you guys to take this down oh i'm gonna pray that you guys do the right thing is he actually a priest or is he cosplaying as a priest no he's a real priest. Stolen valor?

I mean, there's certain professions where you just shouldn't be allowed to make TikToks daily. But there's also certain professions where you could just buy the shirt and you could convince everybody that you're one of them. Oh, 100%. And you could go into a church. Yeah, you could probably do a mass. They would have no idea. They would have no idea. The dudes who are stealing valor as soldiers should just do it as cops.

Because, like, or I'm sorry, just do it as cops because like, or I'm sorry, I should do it as priests because the priests don't give a fuck. Priests aren't going to be like, you're not allowed to fucking pretend to be me. My culture is not your costume. Like they need more people to be priests. Dude, if I ever have to like, I might keep like a priest's shirt in my backpack if I ever have to like walk through a bad neighborhood. If you're ever in a pinch.

Yeah. Just like throw it on. Would anybody fuck with you? I don't think so. You would just look like a tireless dude, a dude who lost his tie. No way.

They have the weird little collar thing. I would look tireless. I don't have a priest's face. No, I think you could. I bet. I don't think... Is a priest allowed

to have like long hair? Yeah. They've always got clean cuts. They do. But they just got from the barber. Or Jesuits probably can have long hair.

The bad boys. But also... They shouldn't even be allowed to get their haircuts. No, they shouldn't. They should have to grow everything out. Au natural. But nobody wants to rob. Can't cut their fingernails. They got nothing to rob.

They took a vow of poverty. Yeah, they take a vow of poverty and then they get like a billion dollars a year. Or like there's some that drive the Mercedes. Yeah, they're all rich as fuck. They're right around. It is kind of a life hack. Except it's pretty hard to become a priest, right? Yeah, it's tough. You gotta go to preschool for like four years.

Gotta play football. I think some priests fuck wives. Fuck wives of the congregation. Well, there's nothing sexier than confession. You're in there in that room and you're just opening up. Totally. It's a date.

You wind up actually opening up. It's essentially a glory hole. It's like your face. It's a date in a glory hole. Yeah. And most priests say they probably fuck through the confessional. A hundred percent. They just slide.

There's another slide. I bet you some priests just pound off. There's a hidden slide. It's just a hole. Feidelberg would be there in an instant. No, they definitely pound off there's a hidden there's a hidden slide it's just a hole the feidelberg would be there in an instant yeah no they definitely pound off in there like all the time yeah that's like what that's there i mean it's the perfect pound off room do you think they gossip yes 100 percent they got there's some there's some rules right like you were in it when anyone's like i murdered 10 people don't they have to go and be like...

I don't think they would. I don't think psychologists do either. That's what happens in prisoners, right? I don't know. I never saw prisoners either, but I heard it's amazing. It's amazing. Is it amazing? Someone comes to him and is like, I killed 16 children.

And he kills the guy, I think. That should be the next Danny Jackal video. She goes into confession. Confesses the murder. You can't say. You can't do anything. Same with psychologists. Am I wrong about that?

Psychologists can't? Yeah, no. They can't. That's like doctors too. It's like HIPAA. No, they can. I think therapists and psychologists can report you if you're a threat to you or someone else. I'm committing crimes

by just talking about the kids that I used to evaluate. Tell me about more of them. Man. And say their full names. They were some badass little kids. What was the oldest one that you slapped the diagnosis on? We have them until they're three. Did you have any tough cases

where you couldn't quite tell? Oh, yeah. That's most of them. Okay. If you have any tough cases where you couldn't quite tell? Oh, yeah. That's most of them. Okay. If you can't tell, you got to say no. They're 19 months. Will you follow a checklist or whatever? We just do this checklist.

What's the perks? What's the perks of having it? Do you get anything? Perks? Yeah. Does it come with anything? Yes. A lot of parents would try to fudge the numbers so their kid had it

because you do get scholarships and sympathy. Sympathy must be crazy. The sympathy is what they want. You should have left your Venmo. Scholarships and sympathy. That's rewarding. Do people still get scholarships

for having autism now? Yeah, big time. Do you think it's over-diagnosed at all? Yes, big time. It's self-diagnosed now. I said this on air before. It's a big thing to self-diagnose. But that's almost like the Tommy Smokes prognostication

that this year so many people are realizing that it's over-diagnosed that I could see it flipping. Well, because dudes will have an interest. And they'll be like, dude, I'm so autistic yeah i can't believe how much i like fantasy football yeah it's like no you're not you just have something that you like dave and dan are just autistic for gambling yeah big ass autists damn that must be sweet to have the fucking uh dude an alcoholic claiming autism yeah i'm just so interested in booze i'm fascinated with it i'm fascinated with heroin dude i'm so autistic

fascinated with the perfect hookup of heroin flying back from uh uh los angeles the other week i spilled an entire vodka drink on my pants on a red-eye flight. Oh, that's miserable? It was terrible. Why'd you have to say vodka drink? Are you in Chumbawamba? It was a whiskey drink

and then a vodka drink. I always forget you're in Chumbawamba. I used to wrestle my pillows to that. The big ones. Jesus Christ. Yes, body slam my pillow i forgot about wrestling pillows yeah i mean don't laugh you guys all wrestled your pillows a body pillow dude i don't think i ever wrestled i definitely punched my pillows a couple times see how hard i could hit it i i'd have like big bear stuffed animals that i'd like punch out of the air throw it up and punch it, choke slam it

punch it out of the fucking air dude Big Cat sent us that picture of his like kids fort oh I wanted to go build a fort I didn't have the nerve to tell him that that fort was weak I thought it was pretty good four sides bro? no realistic entrance?

that was a weak fort but I'm saying it could take a bombardment. It could, definitely. You just have to smoke them out. That's how you'd win that one. What kind of smoke are we saying? Like a Molotov. Have you guys ever made a Molotov cocktail?

No. I used to do the... You never have? Remember the works? That's what they called it. I made one once. It was like that... Have you guys ever used clay and some wires to make a bottle?

No, making a Molotov cocktail is not that hard. Really? What do you do? He's like, I don't remember someone put something, like some sort of fluid in the bottle, and then you light the paper, and you throw it. Did it work? Not really, no.

It wasn't like a real Molotov cocktail. I did the works. You bought that brand. It was called the works from like dollar general is a toilet cleaner and you just put a ball of aluminum foil in the bottle and then put the bottle and threw it and it was a bomb what it was like the loudest bang ever you ever thrown a like a like a i don't know like a whipped cream cam or something in a fire pit oh oh it's a big explosion that shit is like a it like is it like there's like a mushroom cloud yeah it's awesome it's a big explosion that shit is like a it like is it like there's like a mushroom cloud yeah it's awesome it's fucking insane we should throw 40s and fire pits and shit like that those would explode they just pop slamming lighters on the ground is fun

slamming letters they blow up yeah you ever do the ping pong ball wrapping tin foil light it on fire it's a smoke bomb no but do you guys remember you could buy a red light bulb and then cut a ping pong ball in half and put it over your eyes and stare at the light bulb and they said it would make you hallucinate? Really? Yeah. I've never done that. It's probably just killing your brain cells or something. I don't know what it could possibly be doing. Drake Bell is addicted to nauseam balloons.

What? What's nauseam balloons? He's gotten caught multiple times by paparazzi inhaling a balloon in his car. Oh, Nas balloons? Nuh-uh. Is that what it is? I don't know. Like whippets?

Yeah, like doing that. Really? It's nitrous in a balloon? Is that what it is? What the fuck? That's nuts. That shit makes you mashed potato brains? Who would have guessed that Josh was going to be the more successful one?

Dude, no. Fuck Josh Peck. Look at him now, dude. He's still stealing TikToks. He's still talking about Drake and Josh on a daily basis. Yeah, but that's how we contextualize him. He's stealing TikToks. What do you mean stealing TikToks?

You can't steal on TikTok. It's just called a trend. Yeah, exactly. Somebody stole Mook's TikTok word for word and then of course inspired by mook that's when i left when i left tiktok josh peck can't stop stealing tiktok some random dudes what type of so he stole one everyone's calling him out like it was he just did the same reaction which is also stealing in a way and then his next one he put the ib inspired by yeah yeah that's a big thing on tiktok yeah ib is the big thing how do you know because i did a tiktok and it got like 100 likes and then some dude used my sound did the exact same tiktok and it got like 500 000 we had that kid he has like a million accounts his face is kind of shaped like a crescent moon um dreamworks kid is fishing off his chin

yeah he uh stole our like uh we were doing like woke how you can't like uh you can't say black top anymore you have to say like oh yeah yeah retard retard yeah and then um he just took it like word for word and it got like a million and then a guy just like went crazy viral using just like took my uh tweet with like the where's waldo audiobook and just him like staring at the camera listening to it like sitting up straighter when i said waldo and people were like saying this is nix he was like no it's not this is but it's it yeah i had a tweet go viral for the World Cup, and some dude just copied and pasted it and put it on text,

and then was just, like, standing in the woods with that over it, and it got, like, a billion likes. There's a chick that got, like, a million followers on TikTok, and all she does is green screen herself in front of Kyle's tweets and just, like, looks back at them. Oh, yeah, people send me that all the time with their tweets. I remember I got pissed about that, and I was like, why would I care? Yeah.

How egotistical am I? No, I mean, yeah, there's nothing. Right. I think pretty egotistical. I think that's the answer. Extremely. Yeah. But I think that you were also.

Like who gives a fuck? Right. I used to like care about like stealing tweets and stuff. I used to, I used to be like at the family dinner table being like these tweet deckers are like destroyed. Yeah. They used to ruin my life. I was such a loser. Oh, they're destroying the platform. Dude. I have like a notebookers are like destroyed. Yeah. They used to ruin my life. I was such a loser.

Oh, they're destroying the platform. Dude, I have like a notebook that's like completely. That's good, Harry. Yeah. I have a notebook that's like completely filled. It has like magazine cutouts of like tweet ideas. And I'm just like, that's so fucking pathetic. I was telling someone the other day about how when I was like really like trying to

blow up on Twitter, I would like sit down for like hours in like front of one tweet in like the drafts on my laptop and just be like rewording it and everything yep and then eventually be like all right this is good and then i'd probably end up deleting it like 10 seconds after yep damn that's kind of sweet though sweet that you guys all uh like put that much into a couple a couple of twitter guys i mean you put a lot into the craft you guys way more so than i you guys very late in the game oh you had some numbers though yeah you did crazy numbers kb's old slice of life tweets were fucking they were great kb was getting kb was like the twitter guy he was the number one 500k likes on those tweets yeah like every tweet i was uh that was like a drug but the thing is like now you have a million

creative outlets you had zero back then so that was the only thing you had. I'm sure you could still be doing that if you wanted to and didn't have this. But like you just said, we just talked for like. Nah, you couldn't do it anymore. No way you could. You could come up with a great. Are you 100 percent fucking with him? Yeah.

Wow. You're fucking. Yeah. No, we're just too damn fast for me good luck keeping up I'm too old man this new generation brain's slowing down

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Just give us a little. What do you mean? Like when you're like girls from like this town will like talk about this thing and like and it would just be like it would just be dead on and like people would retweet it cause it was super true 24 studying

the habits of 18 year old kids I remember you were like 30 you were like 20 you were in your mid 20s and I just saw you tweet like if you weren't at Jennifer's party you can't talk about what happened the prom one I think I found you from

you did a tweet about sneaking liquor into the prom and that one like blew up and I was like crying laughing at it and I was like who the fuck is this guy I was like 12 years old or like those how did you uh 12 years old was that or like those ones that you would like sit in front of like the michaela if like the michaela one like would you like sit and think long and hard about that or are you just like yes you would yes really i didn't

watch movies or sports from 2015 to 2018 i would spend hours and hours photoshopping shit oh yeah and uh i like only got good at photoshop in like the last like two years but like before i would spend hours and hours photoshopping shit oh yeah and uh i like only got good at photoshop in like the last like two years but like before i would be like photoshopping something for like six hours yeah and it would be like all like really like like pixels everywhere like missing pixels yeah and i'd be like this jagged ass edges yeah yeah yeah no blend to anything yeah man i would love to see some. How deep is the drafts folder? Do you guys all have old Twitter drafts that you could access?

I went through a phase where I was deleting Twitter a lot. So I'd lost a lot of my drafts. I still have drafts probably going back like a year or so. I have one draft and it's from when all that shit was happening last week. And it just says this shit's gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a lot of those. I was just thinking it. That shit was gay. That shit was was just thinking it that shit was that

shit was gay as fuck that shit was yeah that shit was super lame doing doing reality tv drama yeah that's exactly what it was reality tv drama and then like uh you find yourself feeling a little bit of emotion and then you'd like see someone else having emotion and it's like wow i don't give a fuck i don't care at all you don't like you yeah i mean people love it yeah i know we're idiots for not just like rolling up our sleeves and getting into it there was like a quote tweet that went viral that was like something that was happening here it might have been like kfc's recap on it and somebody was just like barstool's bravo for men no that's what yeah but your bravo is your bravo for men ron yeah i do

fucking love bravo yeah you guys should try it i would like to try like the gossip of that was going on last week i didn't you'll love these but i didn't like being connected to it yeah that's i think i would enjoy it if i wasn't in if i didn't work at barstool because all the things that happened aren't actually bad like nothing actually well the thing is like no one cares but i'm saying if a housewife did any of the shit no one would think it was like that insane yeah it's just like oh jen shah was like fucking like threw a glass at somebody or like this fucking theresa judice like message someone's like ex or some shit like that like that's all par for the course in bravo in the bravo world i think my thing is i just don't really fuck with

the whole like calling for the downfall of someone's career for something like in the Bravo world. I think my thing is I just don't really fuck with the whole calling for the downfall of someone's career for something so incredibly dumb. Which is like, they do that. It happens all the time. Anytime someone here fucks up, everyone's like, well, it's been a good ride for them, but I guess their contract's not getting renewed.

Why do you want them to be unemployed so bad? I kind of get like, this is run like a reality show, so people will treat it like it. I guess. But like if someone in Jersey Housewives fucked up, would people be like, I want her to be homeless and broke? Yeah. Yeah, I would.

Yeah, I'm a hater like that. Hating's been my only therapy. I was off hating for a while. I'm kind of, I'm getting back in a little. Fucking Tyler Millerer got me back on the yeah tyler's a big hater oh numero uno i love it i've been i've been and you're crawling back in placed no i just talk when i need to talk like i stay low about it all but if someone pisses me off i'll say something and then i'll go back into it like just chilling i told s Sas I get mad four times a year yeah yeah yeah that's a lie

that's a lie no no no he didn't say he gets mad he said he freaks out four times a year like he like lashes out and then I'm like alright

I'll go back like he'll flip out on someone and then like that then he'll give himself like a couple more months until it happens again once a season which is not bad

four times a year is not bad not bad at all how often is Owen three times a week probably not bad. How often is Owen? Three times a week, probably. That boy gets mad. He gets a more deeper kind of mad. It's usually deservingly so.

Oh, for sure. He gets old school mad. Yeah, he gets old school mad. He gets all over the sleeves, Matt. I think it's the Long Island. He gets a lot of negative emotions. He gets mad like Popeye he'll like

bend in half and like walk like this yeah I think it's Long Island man those Long Island boys they get angry do they? I live with two of them

Dukes gets mad? Dukes does not get angry yeah I've never seen that dude get mad I mean he doesn't get mad to your face he'll never get mad at you

but he'll get mad he'll get mad deep down and you can tell. The algorithm? He gets mad at the algorithm. I introduced some friends to Dukes that were visiting and I was like, hey, this is Josh. He's like, hey, I'm Kevin. And my

buddy's like, hey, I'm Josh. And he goes, yeah, I'm Kevin. I'm just like, he's not good at meeting people. Yeah. What do you mean? He just said his name twice? He said his name twice. Huh. That is interesting. I think he's trying though. Maybe he's not. I don't fucking know. Remember when he kept on coming into the office

beat up? Yeah. From bike accidents. He kept on crashing city bikes. Yeah. He had a rough patch. It's so easy to land on your side or your butt. Landing on your face is so preventable

you just gotta raise your hands man or roll or tuck your head do anything dude um my biopsy thing i don't i uh when i i was like kind of being a pussy about it last night being like dude this thing fucking hurts and then i today i took the band-aid off to put a new band-aid on and i was like i might be the biggest pussy on the planet it's literally one stitch it's like the size of a freckle no yeah and i was like bro there's like a hole in my chest it's like the size of like a lead pencil oh no just a prick yeah yeah so bad so funny and i was like rolling around at night being like oh my god you're arriving yeah you get addicted to painkillers yeah because you're just one prick i was thinking about the day i think like 10 years ago they would have prescribed me

like oxycontin for that yeah like three years ago yeah yeah oh yeah very recently it's fucking crazy oxycontin is it's dope to a point. I've never taken it. Yeah. Yeah. I mixed it with booze once and that was the best night of my life. Right. Like it feels so good.

Can't run that back though. Yeah. But even like your body kind of knows you can't run it back like right away. Like the people whose body just like doesn't have the switch

to be like, I probably shouldn't take that drug a second night in a row. Like they don't feel, they don't feel like terrible. They deserve to be addicted. I'll just say that. It's a hot take. Let's clip that one. Let's get that out there. I'm still gonna

catch more flack for Beyonce. No. No one's gonna clip this for Beyonce. Why not? She's got shooters everywhere. You think she has barstool shooters? I just don't know what you hate about her. I don't hate her. I just don't listen to Beyonce. You said she wasn't a black queen.

I did say that. You said she was black. I was listening. She's not a black queen. She's just black. I could legitimately be the downfall of all of our careers look at them just sitting there laughing that 10 second clip they just sat there and laughed at it dude in in uh the whole like the whole like cancel culture thing it's actually it's very funny because

like when me and mook go on the road there'll be comics who go up and are like like like like guest features and stuff who will go up and they'll be like look at these two people in the front row what are you gonna cancel me and it's like dude they're not even fucking looking at like they're not paying attention to what you're saying it's like everyone's so like oh i'm gonna get canceled for this joke it's like dude no one that's like the most egotistical thing in the world yeah no you're not no one cares no one give they don't even know what your name if they wanted to cancel you they wouldn't be able to because they don't even know what your name is the third comedian at the 750 yeah yeah i'm like oh we got a couple of white broads here what are they gonna do oh you're gonna put me on tiktok you're gonna cancel me it's like dude you've never will get canceled delivers some material yeah stop asking the like

the dude in the front row how when's the last time he fucked bro if you tiktok ruins comedy in that way it does i heard the crowd work goodbye yeah they're only allowed to you can only post your crowd work because you don't want to give away free material but then yeah well give away the free material no but it's like that but it's also like it is like it's really catering towards crowd work because even people who like have specials out and they post their material it still doesn't do nearly as well as people's crowd work does yeah it just like we'll just have better material then but also i don't understand i've never watched a crowd work clip and enjoyed it because you're not in the crowd like you don't know what and it's also the worst interactions like that is not it's not like someone's there

there's such dicks to the people who paid to see that there's a lot of people who are just straight up mean and that's like their version of crowd work and it's kind of like well you don't have to be like an asshole to the people that are there to see you. Get them before they can get you man. It's true. Sash what was your worst moment this year? This year? Yeah. I don't know I've had a pretty solid

year. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Made more money than you've ever made before. More professional success than you've ever had before. You've done significantly more fucking than you ever did in the past. Is that true? No, not even, not even at all.

So when was your most fucked year? Yeah. What was your most fucked year? I have no idea. I don't like them, but every single podcast I've done in the last like month, people have been asking me these weird ass questions about like, so like,

dude, who are you? How much do you fuck? I saw that one clip. Was it Francis? Yeah. Or no, Stuff Island. Stuff Island.

They did that. And then I did another podcast where they asked that three in a row. Yeah. Stop asking that. And I'm like, why do you guys care? I'm like, why is this something you're asking? You've been in the podcast circuit. I care, but I know no one's going to answer.

Yeah. No one's going to give you an honest answer. I would love nothing more than to know how much everyone is fucking. Really? But I know no one would give me an honest answer. Wouldn't that be such a lame thing to do, though, to be like going on podcasts and be like, yeah, I've actually, oh, let me count on my hands how many times I've fucked this year. It's like a Bob Mennery move.

Yeah. Like, that's all he would talk about on fucking podcasts. I don't think I would ever want to imagine someone who's like supposed to be like a funny person like how much they're fucking yeah being like dude this guy's hilarious seriously would be yeah piss me off yeah or if they like went on a podcast and they're like yeah dude i had this one real just i mean just fucking begging for it the other night if a sass sex tape leaked and he was doing so well his hand was on his throat and then like she like put her

hand up you grab it and like just held it you were just fucking so passionately dude i wouldn't be able to look at you the same it would ruin your your bit yeah who was the famous person who put up their sex tape got leaked and it was like a straight up like movie it was like a trailer for a movie it was the one like viral it was like the one viral one where they were like pouring like the hot wax yeah yeah yeah it was like someone like put that in premiere and like edited that shit and put music over it like most likely him or he like sent it to his anybody if i sent like a sex tape to mook i was like yo dude cook this up make this look make this look good can you get this under four minutes yeah can you fix the lighting that would be so funny to like when uh chuck comes he's like you have a clip for

main page you send him a real passionate fucking video is this music copyright free that is funny as fuck gross that's so gross i remember when that came out and i was like the whole that was all the what was it like what do you pour on her like hot wax or oil coconut oil yeah yeah yeah y'all ever watch adam 22 fuck there's like footage of him heating up the i saw like a clip of him like behind into an argument with some one of his guests about whether they get bitches or not yeah dude i i was actually a big the one of the comments was like this is this is the only universe where adam 22 is famous like could be famous yeah yeah it's hilarious it's so awesome though do you remember like a year and a half ago there was a bunch of people at work, a bunch of guys like debating who could

drink more. Yeah, that was here. Yeah. I don't remember. It was like Dana started it, then Willie Colon was like, nah, I can drink more. That was pretty embarrassing. A lot of the shit is embarrassing, dude.

A lot of stuff that people do is embarrassing on social media. He can put them away. Who? Dana. Soana so can cologne bro yeah cologne could too but it's also like you know what let's rewind to that i'm i'm interested see i think we're on the wrong side of things we are a hundred percent we are because then like then someone will post that video and then it'll get like eight billion mentions being like i could probably put back more than both of those boys combined. Dana's job is full-time content. I think he has us all beat on followers. Yeah.

Does he? Not you. Probably. He's got me in the dirt. On Twitter? Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Twitter doesn't count. Twitter doesn't count. But yeah, we all stopped tweeting a long time ago. Now I tweet every single day, five times a day. Yeah, but from your second account. Yeah, we all stopped tweeting a long time ago. No, I tweet every single day. Five times a day. Yeah, but from your second account. Yeah, who cares? I'm trying to grow that one bigger. About to hit 200k.

Why are you trying to do that? Bigger than my main. My only. Yeah. Because why not? Sell one, dude. It's all about having goals, bro. Are you going to do a third one? Yeah. Once that one hits 300k, I'll make a third. That's dumb as fuck. No, bro.

That's just about the dumbest thing I've ever heard. People get sick of seeing that same profile picture on the timeline. It's good to change things up. You could just change your profile picture to a square one. Yeah, what's up with that? All your profile pictures have been squares. That's like the new verified. That's tight.

Square picture. But yeah, we just have to kill the part of us that cringes. We do. We got to grow. What are you guys' New Year's resolutions? Me and Kyle are gonna take a hip-hop dance class and one of our podcast episodes will be a very choreographed dance. That'll be

fucking awesome. No speaking. Just the video of a really, really choreographed dance. If you can memorize King Kunta, bro, you can memorize a ball step change and some fucking crumping. And KB, you would be good as fuck at it. Words and rhythm are so different.

No, I can't dance. Dude, you would be spinning on your head. I can walk on my head. Everyone knows that. Everyone's seen that shit before? I wouldn't mind getting back in the gym this year. Yeah, I gotta start getting healthier. I've been treating my body like absolute shit. I haven't eaten yet today. the gym this year. Yeah. I got to start getting healthier. Yeah.

I've been treating my body like absolute. I haven't eaten yet today. I haven't even sick for four months. Yeah. All I had today was cattle corn. Yeah. I, yeah,

I'm not also just not, not coming into work as much. I think that'd be a fucking sweet one. Yeah. We were just talking about how, uh, KB was saying that he has, uh,

what's the ratio of shows to life experiences? I'm doing like three shows. I'm doing... I have like.02 life experiences for every three shows I do. Yeah. It's a significantly more amount of like... Especially like these past weeks, I've just been going to bed.

Reflecting on life experiences. Like, do you get your own tobacco or are you grinding out a cigarette? I don't do that. It's pre-rolls. Pre-roll splits? Yeah, hit a PR. More ways than one.

I've been doing everything right, everything healthy, and I feel the worst I've ever felt. Oh, man. Maybe just time to go back to devilish ways. It seems as if it might be like the post-COVID thing. Yeah.

The symptoms are aligning with. Have you been Googling as well? Because I've been Googling for you. Yeah. I've been sending Kyle. I'm trying to get you on that blue methane. People are sending me out the wazoo, like different supplements to take. Is long COVID?

Is that what that is? Or is that different than post-COVID? It's different. It's different. different supplements to take. Is long COVID? Is that what that is? I don't know. It's different. I'm gasping. A lot of people are saying it's the last of the year. Ultra marathons and they can't even walk to the store anymore. Jesus Christ, dude.

Well, you at least never ran an ultra marathon. No. Maybe it's Lyme disease. I got three different people have said, No. Maybe it's Lyme disease. Did you get picked by a tick? I got three different people have said, dude, that sounds like Lyme disease. Yeah. But that, I don't think that would be it. That would be a relief though.

Yeah. I want it to be something very severe. For the sympathy? Just like to, you know, validate this. Yeah, because it would suck if they came back and they're like it's nothing like all of sass's maladies but then sass gets over him as soon as he hears that it's nothing right yeah yeah yeah but this is also they say that this they say that this rash that i've had for four months is from post-covid too really yeah then why'd they do the biopsy just in case because they want to know what rash it is oh apparently it's like they think it's like a different kind of pitoriasis but like apparently they said there's been a

massive spike since the covid and the covid vaccines came out i feel like i had an irregular heartbeat post covid but then i walked on on an inclined treadmill one time and it went away maybe you need to try that i try that every day dude i'm so afraid of undiagnosed heart issues. People are dying from those left and right. Undiagnosed heart issues? Yeah. Yeah, but so many more people aren't. Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm only fixating on the ones that are. Yeah, most people are

fine, dude. Most people are untouched by it. You'll be alright, dude. You're not ever going to die from a heart issue. Thanks, man. Do you have heart issues in your family? No. Why? That's like what it is.

Yeah, I know. That's such a crazy thing to ask. I know. Let's get to the bottom of if he's going to die or not from heart issues. Well, I have a bunch of heart. Like my, everyone in my family is. Well, you're probably are going to die from a heart issue. Does that make you feel better?

No, that's why I was curious. See if you guys were bad heart brothers? Yeah. Low sodium diets together. No, my family is cancer family. Like hedgehogs. Isn't it like 98% of hedgehogs die of cancer?

Really? I think so. They're little cancer machines. That's how Sonic died. It is. All those rings shot out. He was connected to the keyboard and then just heard all the rings shot out. He was connected to the keyboard and then just heard all the rings come out. Oh, no. A benign tumor of rings

just exploded into the air. How long have we been going? An hour. Okay. All right, thanks for listening to Son of a Boy, Dad.