Son of a Boy Dad - Brendan Sagalow | Son of a Boy Dad #229

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

Brendan Sagalow | Son of a Boy Dad #229 -- Ad: Go to https://Butcherbox.com/BOYDAD and use code BOYDAD at checkout for $20 off! -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can realize how jacked I am. Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad

Podcast. Today we are joined by You have to look at your phone? No, I was getting a turn to read your name Yeah, who's got a hilarious start? Is that what this podcast is you invite someone on and then you really make them feel like nothing? I can't see Brendan. We're here with a Brandon you haven't even introduced him. Well, I'm trying but I your I'm all I'm seeing is your back We were just a matter of massive jacked back and it just grinds to a halt

I think I've been doing podcasts for ten years Yeah, always the same thing and it makes me laugh where you're sitting with people and you're having a conversation and you're like, yes I like and then you're like, okay, we're starting Yeah, but Brendan Sagalow has joined us I'm the fucking doggy and the shitface! It does happen a lot. Yeah. But Brendan Sagalow has joined us today. Do you feel uncomfortable hosting? No, not at all. I do sometimes.

Because that was me when I had a podcast with three other guys. And they were like, it's your turn. And I'd be like, I would be so fucking mad at it. You guys pass it around? Yeah, we would go, who's hosting this time? Really? He does it every time? He does it every time? He does intros in every time.

Yeah, I mean it's a pretty quick intro. You ever do R U Garbage and they got the fucking 15 minute intro? Yeah, and they're like, hey everybody, welcome to Mr. Duddy's. And do the little, little, little, little, little. It's pretty funny watching them do that when they have a massive guest on

and they gotta still just power through the whole thing. Right, Rob Lowe's doing his podcast rounds. Yeah, yeah. It's so funny when these big actors are like, guest on and they got it they got to still just power through the whole thing right Rob Lowe's doing Yeah, it's so funny when these big actors are like maybe I should start doing this podcast. Yeah Well cuz I see fucking Alex Cooper getting a hundred fifty million dollars. Did you see that? No, she just serious serious deal, and I think it's three years a hundred fifty million dollars That's how we her like career earnings are like like 300 million or something like that it's she's like she's like Patrick Mahomes yeah it's so funny that like sorry to cut you off I didn't say anything no I'm just struggling to

breathe it's anxiety and anyway keep all right. Sundays are the worst. It's Monday. Sundays are so bad that I... It's Tuesday. Tuesday. Oh, fuck. Dude, it's... What I was going to say is it's so funny that when we're all 80 or whatever, the generational wealth people from our generation are going to be podcasters and stuff.

It used to be like Titans of industry Yeah, and now it's gonna be like yeah at a podcast where I talked to like guys. I fuck Not not I built the railroads that He's from the Domino Sugar family right Oh Rockefeller from are you garbage? family right Oh Rockefeller from are you garbage podcast that home or like will her kids join the family business and like have their stints of talking about sucking dick yeah luck luck 18,000 I mean that kind of already happened with like the Kardashians oh yeah like it was like join the family you have a show yeah sex tape show your nipples

They're claiming that they don't recognize that Kylie was saying she doesn't know life before she was being filmed well Yeah, she was like a little kid yeah filming. That's fucking insane my favorite years Careful I like to I only watch seasons one through two Before she got the lip filler You got it while she was right, but yeah, dude special just came out. Yeah. What do you guys think cuz you all watched it It was good fucking I actually did I did I didn't watch the whole thing, but I watched anybody to watch it Really, I watched it. I mean that's what I'm doing here. So watch it Yes, it was great. Yeah, and you know what I

The thing cuz I had this rap song in the beginning. Yeah. And maybe you'll you'll be able to relate to this. But there's a line in it at the end where like I had to I had to finish the song for some fucking reason. They were like, come on, we need the you need you to finish the song. And so I just rushed it. And I'm like, oh, fuck it. So the ending of that song, I was here and I'm like,

even none of the jokes could be good But with the song I'm like, yeah Is so bad makes sense Yeah, we were sitting there and like they're the producer of the special was there and he's a nice guy But he's so I'm like trying to write we're in the recording studio. I'm like, what if I said and he goes Well, what if you said I was like Cuz he's gonna suggest like a cat in the hat. And what's with that? Yeah.

So I'm like, but I have to hear him out. So he's like, what if you said like a scooby-dee-doo, a scooby-dee-bee? And I'm like, oh, yeah, maybe. He tried it out. He spells scooby-dee-bee. It is a great way to start off, though. It kind of sets the tone.

And I don't think anybody is like, I think that your anxiety over it is way supersedes anybody being like, well that fucking last line completely took me out of it. I know, but that's like the perfectionist in me. Yeah, no one's watching the comedy special being like, well his rhymes were kind of wax on this. Skip the jokes.

Turn the piss off. There are some people though, like, it's because when I was putting it out I was like is this like to You know fucking comic complaining about Comments kind of shit cuz that's so embarrassing You know you got like these big comment comics being like and people are mean And literally one of the lines is like men are mean to me Lame now, I think that's funny. Yeah, cuz you don't want to be like that And literally one of the lines is like men are mean to me

No, I think that's funny. Yeah, cuz you don't want to be like that. Yeah, you know, you don't want to be the comics that are like Everybody's so fucking mean in the comments. Yeah, you're like what you can't take a joke You shit on everything else and you can't take a fucking joke. I'm pretty bad with the comments. No, yeah What can they possibly say no, they got them they hit him with a four paragraph or else They'll get me bad really yeah, guys read it. They rip into me. Yeah, but I pull it up with a comment about comments about podcasts I don't care about it all Stand counts about stand up I get I'm seething in my room Yeah, you know what I've been doing? This will help you. And this might help you, OK?

Nothing can help me. I love this era. I love this era of Francis. This stoic fucking negativity. I know it feels like forever, too. You know when you go through a, wait, does everybody know? Yeah, I had to say it on this show. We made him break it on the show because we're like,

you're not going to get divorced and we're not going to use it for clips. We want to drive engagement. We've got break it on the show because we're like, you're not gonna get divorced and we're not gonna use it for clips. We wanna drive engagement. Yeah, we gotta clip farm that divorce. Sorry to say engagement. We had to say it because people were being like, I bet it's because he beat the shit out of her. Yeah, of course.

And it's like, no, no, it wasn't that. People were like spending actual time like trying to figure it out. It was pretty invasive, but I get it. I guess it makes sense. I mean, look, you're doing a a show you're gonna have audience members that you know If you weren't this guy and you were into Podcasting or art you might be the other guy going like I don't think you know knowing you'd be like Sebastian box

I'm a normal guy. He'd be in the comments of the NPR YouTube channel. Yeah, this is good. Let's let's see Let's do this one. Yeah Join in join in You know me you got me tattooed dead rights. Honestly, there hasn't been a true crime podcast in Syria Francis eats cereal out of the hole in his cello Francis eats cereal out of the hole in his cello. Dude, that's sick. Look, I'll tell you this. Maybe you don't need to hear it, but I went through a breakup,

not the same as a divorce. And it feels like this is going to be forever, right? It feels like you're feeling this. You're like, oh, it's forever. I guess it is forever. Louie has that. Divorce is forever. Sorry, keep going.

No, I'm just trying to help you. But I actually realized that I have no idea what I'm talking about. No, this era of self-loathing is- You're gonna reassure him. So enjoy it, yeah, because you might be a bummer to your friends right now, but like, you know- Am I?

No, he's not. No, no, no, no. I'm just saying, this was me six months ago. Sass has been a bummer to me my whole life, so we're gonna meet at the bottom of the ladder. Whole life? You and I just bummed each other out. Before I was even born, you were bummed?

The whole time we've known each other, we have bummed each other out. I don't think that's true. Francis is like, he gets mad at me. I don't get mad at Francis. Like, I'll get like pissed off, you know? Did you guys fight? You got mad at me for having a water

at the fucking movie theater. It'll be like, but like when we get, and I get mad at him, it's just like an impassing, like, oh fuck you, dude. Oh. Like playful. Right. And then he gets mad at me and he's like,

everything about you bothers me. No, totally. It's not what I said. It's not a full character. Your outfit, you look like a clown. Is that what you want to carry? You want to be a clown guy for the rest of your life? Clown.

I love the inner workings. Those happen all the time. Tennis match, it's just back and forth, so I just get to be a... The problem is we spend a lot of time together because we co-headline a lot, so we spend the whole weekend on the road. So annoying to hang out with somebody for, like, I get it.

We don't like doing exactly the same things on the road and so finding mutual ground because we do want to hang out is Hard. Yeah. Well, I think everybody has that friend that they just fucking hate not to step on Dane Cook's material But I think that there is everybody's got that from where you're like, man You're lucky you got close to me because I fucking hate you. We're friends. So it's like, like I was talking to my friend today. Like one of the guys that I did a podcast with, Mr. Michael Feeney. Oh, yeah. He's talking to me. And we used to stream with this guy.

Get this. We used to stream with this guy. Yeah. Online play Call of Duty with a guy who just like yesterday or two days ago, got arrested for having like five thousand videos of child. No. And like wack shit. Like crazy shit, right? Why do they always have so much? It's always 5,000. Why do they have so much?

I guess because like you really can't find websites for it so you have to like hoard it. Yes, and also I think the penalty is the same if you have one versus 5,000. So you might as well have variety. That's hilarious. I actually was just talking about this. I don't want to get into this. I don't want to get into this. If you have one versus five thousand, so you might as well have variety. I actually was just talking about this. I don't want to get too like fucking edge Lordy here, but, uh, we were

talking about pedophile hunters. Oh yeah. Like these guys who have vigilante pedophile hunters and like, obviously a lot of these guys deserve it, but there also are some of the guys where you're like, I think that guy's just autistic. Yes. And you're like, or Indian kind of crazy. Or Indian. I think he's just, uh, kind of like, you know, retarded. Yeah. You see some of these videos and you're like, that guy's a, and then I was thinking about it and I was like, well,

you must have fucked God's wife to be born a retarded pedophile. Yeah. I mean, to get to have to, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean up, man? You see the video where the guy goes, I knew this was going to happen. And they're like, you knew what? But so, yeah, me and me and Feeny are always going head to head like that, like you guys. And he texted me today and he's like, this piece of shit. I hope he gets raped to death in prison. And I went, all right, tough guy.

OK, we get it. Yeah, that's off protest too much. The one guy, it jumped the shark this weekend with the one guy who got like speared into a pillar of the building and like the pillar like collapsed under them beating the shit out of this guy. Who was like clearly mentally challenged. He was like sobbing, please, but it was like please let me go. Sorry to laugh like a fucking dog toy there, but that's hilarious to me.

It was, it is tough because then there were so many people who started to like defend the guy. Right. It's almost like it'll kind of swing you back the other way. Be like, well, he was trying to fuck a kid. Well, it's a strange. It's just a strange area to be in because you're like, yeah, he is trying to fuck a kid. So he gets whatever he deserves. But this vigilante, there's like a new guy out there that like

like confronts pedophiles with like little pump and shit Have you seen this dude? Yeah, it's a town. They're like rapping to a con. You're gonna get locked up That's like the new promo tour. It's like well. I got to do the morning show I'm doing Fallon tonight, and then I'm going pedophile hunting There must be one of those guys like if you're a big a con fan. Yeah, you're like you're like wow, okay I was looking to have sex with a kid, but free a con No way just Taylor Swift doing her arrows yeah Yeah, sorry. I've said retarded and fuck again. Oh, no, that's fine. It's just you it's not us

You know I can sometimes I'll do that and I see people are like Okay, people get mad that we talk about the we talk about pedophiles every episode. Oh, do you guys? Talk about it every single episode and what do you think? Well, you made an interesting point like in all seriousness I mean vigilante justice is like one of my favorite things in the world. I like to take part in it myself on the road. I use my car as a weapon. Yeah, cuts you in the hotel room. You're putting black makeup. But I, it's, you know, when it gets to like the point of beating someone up that, I don't know. I don't know. I don't disagree with that. I think we when it gets to to beat up a home and pedophile worse. No pedophile scorned, yes. No worse wrath than a pedophile scorned. With a black belt and jujitsu. There are no children escaping that. With retard strength too.

Well they're gonna like carry around guns and stuff so if you're a vigilante you gotta watch the fuck out. Exactly. I think it's a slippery slope. That we're radicalizing the pedophiles. No, I think the slippery slope is A, people creating fake accounts to lure, like it was cool when Chris Hansen did it, but now it's just like, I could just do that. If my comedy career starts really taking a dip, I'll just start creating fake profiles of children and be like, meeting up with random dudes in malls and then beating the shit out of them. But you would get the shit out of you by the pedophile.

Not if I had 20 dudes with me. You can just rally a pack of dudes outside the Walmart and be like, I'm gonna go catch a pedophile. You guys wanna join? Nobody's gonna join you. Oh, they'll all join. They'll join. People are so obsessed with pedophilia.

And then you just gotta go, hey, I'm gonna be in Cleveland this weekend, by the way. Yeah, at the end of the video. There was a comic that was at that festival, Skank Fest, last year, who was, it was me and Joe DeRosa, we were hanging out in the back in the green room and this guy was there and he was talking about

how he catches pedophiles and stuff and we were like, we were kinda like in this zone where we're like, that's cool man, like he was so, and he's like, and then when I grab him these pieces of shit, and we're like, all right man, calm down, but he was also a comic and he's like, but I'm also a stand up, so I'll like, you know, I'll ask them to tell a joke or something and me and DeRosa were like, all right, man, calm down. But he was also a comic, and he's like, but I'm also a stand-up. So I'll ask them to tell a joke or something.

And me and Duros are like, OK. And they're like, OK, Brendan Sanglo, five minutes. Just in the content business? So he's beating the shit out of the pedophiles. And they're like, by the way, if you guys have any material that I could use. But he's not even beating the shit out of them. He's catching them and going, you want to hear a joke?

Or like, what do you know? Do you know a joke? Tell me a joke. And trying to add Boy, that is a weird blending of worlds. I don't know about that idea for content. Just doing crowd work I see your pedophile. Can you make a filet mignon five minutes? It's corin ramsey with him. Yeah, you've got five minutes with these ingredients first rule. You can't fuck any kids You can only use what's in the kitchen also it's so that battalion dude is doing it like isn't that's the guy right yeah the tally is like a historically bad guy that's how

you there's like photos of him wearing like Nazi armbands and shit and it's like so he's now like a leader of the anti-pedophile movement it's uh it's called uh it's called uh he's overcompensating, he's, you know. Overcompensating. Well, he's like rebranding. He's doing something to distract people from that. Or it's like in jail, how like the pedophiles have it the worst. Because everybody in jail did something wrong,

but they can all kind of agree that within their band of criminals that the pedophiles are the ones that get it. Yeah. All disenfranchised groups seem to agree that pedophilia is worse than their own plight. I think pedophiles bad. I think pedophilia is bad. New York Times? I'm Marco Bavara.

I think pedophilia is bad. I think capitalizing on catching pedophiles is weird. It's definitely weird to do any kind of vigilante justice. Is it fun to watch? 100%. Yeah. But it's also, you know, there's gonna be a time when people are kind of feeling bad for these guys. And that's not a place you want to be. Yeah. You don't want like the majority of people being like, okay, enough. Yeah, go easy on them.

Here's why it's fun to watch. It's because usually when you watch a video of somebody getting the shit beat out of them, there's two parts of your brain. And one of them is like, this is kind of awesome. And then another one is like, this is, I feel guilty for this because someone's getting hurt. But then you can remove that guilty part of the person getting the shit beat out of them, because you're like, this is a bad person. I know that this is guaranteed a bad person. Call me crazy. I have a hard time at all connecting the bad thing they did in video,

one person just beating the shit out of another person. Yeah. I'm not able to be like, well, he deserves that. I just see someone beating someone up and I'm kind of like, man, that sucks. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of that shit either. Yeah, I kind of wish the justice system worked. You know?

There's a video I saw in this thread of a guy who found out that another guy had been, I don't know, following his sister or trying to groom his younger sister who was underage. He comes in and he beats this guy up and he must have punched, the guy he's beating up is shirtless, and he punches him in the ribs probably like 50 times. And the guy's just like covering up. And in each punch, it's like he's punching a tree. Oh, God. And I've never been able to get it out of my head.

I don't know why, just like. The only. I can't keep some of it. It just made me feel sick. Really? Yeah. I wasn't able to be like, well, you know, that's what he deserves. Do you like any type of fight videos like Reddit fight porn?

I'm not a fight porn. What I like are when bullies get their comeuppance. And they are like the video of the kid bullying the other kid, the overweight kid, and punching him and that kid picks him up and slams him to the ground. I like that. That slam to the ground though. I don't mind if someone gets punched and then they're like, oh, and it's just like a regular fight but the slam to the ground and being a concussed. Their arms go straight out like that. Yeah, and they start kind of seizing.

But that's not what happened to that kid. That kid just, his leg, he couldn't walk on it for a little bit. Oh, he limps. He's like, ah. And that kid pick on the overweight kid and then finally the overweight kid says, I'm going to do something about this. That to me was a tit for a tat type thing. The fact that it's tits for a tat. The only kind of like- Which is how a lot of trashy women get their first tattoo.

But I want to say that math would lend me to believe, and this is really fucked, that I'd have to like, see the act of the groom. You have to see the pedophilia in order to feel that justified. But I don't want to see that. Well, I think there's also a thing and this is I'm going to join with you in the fucked up things to say party. There is a thing of like, when you look, pedophiles are awful and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

but there's also like a thing where you're like, man, they were like born with this thing in their brain that makes them want to have sex with children, and it's like, they're not just doing it. They're not, it's like a disease kind of. Yeah. But I don't always think that they're born with it, honestly. I think that they like they were probably traumatized when they were young and they got like crystallized in there in that like young brain.

And then they like wind up like thinking that they match up better with somebody young. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever seen that old SNL sketch where they build where it's like the build the most evil invention and it's the rock And he's like that everyone's like I built a freeze ray I could sure I could freeze the Eiffel Tower, and then the rock comes up And he's like I built a child molesting robot And they're like how did you even do that he's like I just built a normal robot, and then I molested it repeatedly do that and he's like, I just built a normal robot and then I molested it repeatedly. Wow, that's pretty ballsy.

Yeah, it's pretty funny. That's good. I do like seeing like the person who was molested or whatever get their revenge. I think that's, that's perfectly fine. Like, you know, oh yeah, you know, that would even be fine for me. It's, it's again It's like maybe the vigilante part of it the disconnect there Yeah, what about that video where the guys like at the phone booth and he turns around and he like shoots the guy that fucked

Up his daughter. Yeah, that's cool Like I like the video of the dude in the courtroom Who he was like one of his daughters was one of the gymnastics? Oh Judge give me five minutes with that video I like that video that video would you grant me two minutes in a locked room with him that's a different video but yeah I know that video you're talking about where the guys like pretending to be on the phone and the the guys walking away in handcuffs like Bobby no yeah yeah, he killed him. Yeah.

They beg for money. I like those videos. Yeah, but like, what are you, you're gonna kill the guy who did that and then you go away to jail and your wife is like, alright, well my kid was molested and murdered and now my husband is in jail. For murder. Think about, the great example is that MMA fighter, the heavyweight. Laughing obsessed.

What? Laughing out loud. You're just dying laughing. It's very funny. That's a fucked up situation to be in. Like, all right, so my kid got molested and then my husband murdered someone. Yeah. So now I just got a fucked up kid and no husband.

I'm fake laughing to join you laughing but I don't find that's the worst thing that's been said so far. I'm so fucked up but I'm just laughing at how funny you think it is. I'm not even laughing at anything. I mean it's fucked up but it's funny. I can't stop picturing you being like the Pied Piper getting a bunch of dudes who are gonna go into a Walmart to beat the shit out of a pedophile Come on guys and then he just turns around in this Brock Lesnar It would suck to try and rally a crew and just know what everyone's like dude. I got shit to do today I'm not doing that

And you look behind you you're confronting the guy and there's nobody behind you. Yeah, a bunch of shoes are spinning. Like shadow comes over you. Do you remember the MMA fighter, the heavyweight, who found out that the kindergarten teacher or whatever was molesting his daughter? No. And he chased him down with a gun in a car.

They drove through the town at full speed, high speed car chase. And the guy, the criminal was in a car with, I think his like father and his girlfriend or something like that. And the MMA fighter shot and like a stray bullet hit the older father. So he's in jail now and everyone was like,

well, I would do the same. And it's like, well, that's why you can't. Yeah. Is if you're so overcome with rage that you're gonna blindly be like full high speed driving through town and then shooting like it's Mad Max Fury Road. You know, we need to have a little bit better of a system than right. Some guys playing a guitar on

top of a Ford Taurus. Yeah. There's like, there's, but there's a thing with that too, where everyone's like, that's what I would do. You ever see these comments on like TikTok when it's like something like not pedophile or whatever, but like, you know, these guys being like, oh man, if I were there, he wouldn't even get that second word out. Yeah, yeah.

I get that on the traffic video, the one I did of stopping the shoulder cutters. I don't know if you've seen that. I did, yeah. And it's a thousand comments of people being like, if I see him do this in Detroit, it's on site. What's going on? It's like, you know, try that again.

You're going to get shot. It's like, I've done this 14 times. There's just so many like Internet tough guys. It's annoying. Yeah. It's amazing, though. I do love it. I love it. It feels good to be an Internet tough guy. Yeah. You're like, it wouldn't be me.

They go back to playing your fucking steam switch. 86 comments into one comment, someone's giving an address at a date and time. Did you get into arguments in the comments when the Internet, when you guys first got on the Internet and stuff, where you like big fighters in the comments? Now, I used to always just try and just throw like one one funny comment back.

My whole thing is just like like I don't I don't respond any of that I just associate with the artists that they're even talking about yeah I go that's not even they're booing me not even me that's just that that guy in that video not even me yeah some shit they're working through well that's that's the best way to do it that's pretty good that's the best way to do it you go you go look I had when I was in high school or whatever I had opinions on fucking Green Day and blink 182 and like those are real people. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true, but I had the opinion so I just look at it like okay

These guys are just they're just opinions But it's so funny when you try to do different techniques like when someone like shits on you there was a there was a time Where I was like you know what I'm to appeal to their person, their humanity. And I'd go into their DMs and be like, is everything OK, man? Like, you're shitting on me. And that would work maybe once or twice where they're like, just my wife's a pig and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and da, da, da.

But all it takes is that one time for the guy to be like, shut up, gay lord. You're like, oh, yeah. What am I doing? I've had that. I've gotten in DMs before with people and I've had dudes not back down. They double down and then you're like,

you're, we're winning by so much and you have no idea. Yeah, you go, I've shown the numbers, try to open it to your humanity. No, but you can walk away with your head held high. Because you tried to take the high road and then they took the low road. Fuck that. And I'll be in Scotland before you. I've tried to bait dudes into fights in the DMs and then tell them to meet me up somewhere

in a different state that I'm not in. Right, just make them go. Yeah, just try and make them go. Like, you didn't fucking show up, pussy. Yeah. And they're like, we did. You didn't. Yeah, and they're like we did you didn't fuck And you're like oh fuck. I was that the day Then you made them travel somewhere in a different state. Yeah, I spent 12 bucks on an easy pass

You think there's ever been anyone who's actually done that who's like gone through with it and like gone on a plane Yeah, yeah, you got a kill. I got there's like a Temecula. There's like a famous Like basketball, what was it? You know I'm talking about oh Yeah, Matt Barnes and Derek Fisher was a famous one of two famous people like they met up they play basketball were they fighting? No, they met up to fight Matt Barnes had to do with that one I drove because Derek Fisher was fucking his ex-wife. Yeah, and and yeah and coach Like four hours or some shit to beat his ass. Well that that makes sense Well, you think you do on that four-hour drive?

You think it's just silence or you think you're like listening to like Joe Rogan? You gotta be listening to something you gotta have a pump up Yeah, but for four hours straight or you think like the back hour you're like four hours. You're just thinking about it He's stopping for snacks snacks and not calming down. How are you not dissipating the anger across that? 30 hours? It was 30 hours? 30 hours?

Rove? That's the Kanye song, but was that, that's what that's about? At some point, you gotta, yeah, you gotta stop for snacks. You probably go jerky. You're like, I gotta keep my testosterone. Even if you get 15 hours in, you're like, I should turn around. But then at that point you're like, well it's gonna take, then it would still be 30 hours.

But you're talking a difference of 30 hours. Yeah, but why aren't you five? Because it seems, I think it's a better story if you drive. He's got an alibi. It's a better story if you're like I drove 30 hours And if I drive four hours, and I have to do a show that night on piss. Oh, yeah I'm not driving 30 hours and fighting someone you drive you drive 30 hours get a hotel get up in the morning You get out of the car after a 30 hour drive. Whoever's on the other side is winning that fight.

Easily. The lower back pain alone. You get out, you're like... A whole bunch of rappers and coke cans spill out of the car. I forgot to take my wallet out of my back pocket. Where are you? Shambles. Yeah, my spine is thrown off.

I saw a battle rapper do this yesterday. This dude named Hitman Holla who's on Wild N Out. He just fucking someone said told him like to meet somewhere to fight and he just went to the place and was just like waiting for them to fight, posting screenshots and like tagging the time being like I was here for fucking 12 minutes waiting for you to fight 12 minutes if you're gonna drive five hours you got to wait more than 12 hours I think they were both in st. Louis or something I think he just was like yeah showed up such a dangerous thing to do what so dangerous thing even even if the person doesn't bring a weapon if they hit you

in the head and then you fall to the ground and your head hits the cement or you fucking What was that movie with the box? They break their neck million dollar baby million dollar, baby This is why I never punch women. I am constantly afraid of paralyzing them In fact, I do have that fear of of hitting someone they stumble back. They hit their head on a rock and yeah They're dead and now you're a murderer. Yeah. Yeah, definitely Well when I was is it manslaughter? I think so your fist isn't a deadly weapon if you didn't intend to kill if you drove 30 hours gonna be tough to prove that you didn't have premeditated thoughts in

your head it's true it would be book on tapes the court could point to it would be like a presumed innocent listen to the entirety of the fall of the third right yeah Not even you just have 28 hours left. You got that. You could finish it in both ways. When I was in because I've been in a couple of toxic relationships myself. I don't know about you boys, but I've been in relationships where you're arguing for no fucking reason. You get that that fucking thing and my thing was always throw shit. Well, because I don't want to like I got to get that energy out.

So, I mean, I don't do it anymore and nothing like that. But I'll like see an ashtray or something. And I'm like, and the thought of wanting to like grab it and fucking chuck it at a wall is still in there. But I never do it. And then I and I'm like, I never do it. And then I had a friend telling me being like, don't ever do it because he knew somebody that got into a fight with his wife and she went into the kitchen. You know the kitchen doesn't have a door It's like a just a whole fucking thing. She goes into the kitchen

He picks up an ashtray to throw it into the kitchen and she walked by at that time bang hit her right in the head She's fine didn't die or nothing, but he went to jail. No. Yeah. That's pretty brutal timing. It also sounds like his telling of the story. She just walked into view and I... I didn't touch. I was just trying to throw it a little bit harder. You know, the kitchen, there's no door. You know how kitchens work, unfortunately.

Kitchen, look, I think really this is about a law where kitchens need doors. Yeah, I mean, look, if I could sue the designer, I would, there's a blind spot. How did I know but to this day? I will not have a kitchen without a door That is a crazy instinct, but I think an even worse instinct is dudes who are wall punchers Yeah, you can't that's crazy I put I had one time when I was really young Yeah, you can't do that. That's crazy.

I had one time when I was really young where me and my buddy were playing basketball and he did like an off the easy thing to me and he did it really hard. Like your neck compounds. It literally made that sound of a ball making. You know, and like I was like, ah, and I went to like punch him in the face and he went like this and I hit right here, which is like so hard. hard and now to this day I don't have a fucking pinky knuckle Oh my god! Like you can tell because of that

Pinky knuckle right there? Nothing there What? Right there so look, pinky knuckle Right? Nothing there Does he hand one mixtape towards you? So it's just E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E Eek-er, eek-er, eek-er. He professed he had won, basically. Why was your immediate reaction to punch him in the face? I think the body of your reaction is in the punch. If someone threw a ball off my head in a basketball game, I'd be pretty mad too.

Yeah. I can't believe how many people in basketball games, when you see the off-the-head move, don't react like that. I know. So many of them are just like composed and they just keep playing defense. Well, I've been watching a lot of battle raps of people like getting into fights and like oh, yeah And that's it or like some guy will like pour some water on your shoes or whatever and you're like well now I have to fight you. Yeah, it's it's like I'm not I'm not into fighting anymore like I'm not gonna I can't do that. I just take whatever I can get yeah

I was on a train and these teenagers walked by four teenagers four fucking tick-tock house teenagers And then these teenagers walked by, four teenagers, four fucking TikTok house teenagers walked by and I'm sitting on the train with my lady and I'm on my phone and some kid just walked by and went, and then just kept walking. And I was like, you just have to take that. Yeah. Especially around. It's like such a disrespect to like look me like, I'm like, and then him and four, cause they'd kick my ass.

Yeah. My, my friend this past weekend was telling me a story about his cousin at the Jersey Shore this like very nice town at the Jersey Shore a group of 16 year olds came up to him and started calling his girlfriend fat And so he was like he like started talking back to them and then they just beat the shit out of him Yeah, just like jumped you know what we should do. We should blend our ideas here a little bit we should actually go get the pedophiles and bring them to the packs of teenagers and Let them fight it out. See if we can get a pack of pedophiles, pack of teenagers. Yeah, good luck not getting fucked. You just moaned in my ear. Well, my buddy here is gonna molest you.

Yeah. See if you can make that sound when he's inside your... Let me out of the car. He's got the Hannibal Lecter mask on. Yeah. Well, dude, like... And but yeah, it's like you have to just take it because one time I got into an argument with an ex-girlfriend and I was like, all right, let me get her some flowers.

And I'm walking by with some flowers and these two teenagers just go, who the flowers for? And I go, for your mom. And they're like, and they just started chasing me and now I'm running with flowers Yeah, they're flying I finally over the flowers they're all just the like the stem stems. Yeah, dude. I had a pack of teens I was doing I was doing a spot at the I was doing a spot at the patio at the stand This was like a couple years ago Yeah, and I was in the middle and it was before I don't know if you ever done that But before you see there would be a gap where people would walk through and a pack of teens walked through and they one of them stopped and

Right in front of me stopped and turned to me and he went ha ha ha and then just kept walking I just hate it. There's nothing I can do just fucking deep all do you Nothing I could do. Oh my god in front of that. Nothing I could do. Oh my god. Teenagers are so scary, man. It is **** There's really just nothing that you could do because they're they have half brains and they have

full confidence. They also have the regeneration of Wolverine. Yeah. So like they just can take a hit and then they're like and like it's like shoot them in the head and they just reform. You also can't be the guy that punched a teenager Yeah, then you look then they could just cry. That's never gonna play well Yeah, or you're a grown man that fought a kid yeah

Yeah, exactly fuck what if they're beating the shit out of you what if you had five teens on you? Well, that's why you have fucking pepper spray true as my boy said he's gonna start carrying a knife because his cousin got beat up by teenagers It's like dude. You can't stab a teen. Stabbing someone would be pretty bad. I'd rather get the shit kicked out of me than stab somebody. I don't know what that, have that feeling of the pop of the skin. Yeah, I wanna know how that feels. I'd rather stab.

Oh yeah? And then you're just sitting there with it in the kid, and you're like, I really shouldn't have done that. No, I would turn it. Pssst. Pull it out. Francis is thinking about all the times he's dexter strangers. I'd turn it, and then I would turn it Pull it out Francis is thinking about all the times as Dexter

And then I would drag it. Oh my god. You got a drag. I think the turn is enough They say that a lot of people people survive Stabbings too often. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't want to kill anybody I'll stab him to get him away five teenagers beating me up Someone's dying, but then they're probably just like you my parents are just fighting a lot anybody I'll stab them to get them away. Five teenagers beating me up someone's dying. But then they're probably just like my parents are just fighting a lot like I'm just going through a lot at home right now. And also when you and now I'm kind of on your side about killing them. You stab them you they have so much adrenaline

from kicking your ass that they don't even feel it. No they won't feel they won't even know until later as you walk away, and they're like yeah keep walk Mike you're bleeding Comes out of his mouth because he turned it Yeah, you guys know it's yeah, it's fun. It's fun to think about stabbing. Yeah, where you guys crazy like? Teens and stuff were you like now did you like you know I? Attention of it the crazy teens I wanted to like sharing their stories at lunch, but I never was a crazy team Well, I wasn't a crazy team there was some crazy teens that I knew like there was this one kid crazy anger issues And I posted a video one day on Instagram

Like there was this one kid, crazy anger issues, and he posted a video one day on Instagram. One year of detention for parkouring on the roof of the school. And he was like, furious. Yeah, he said, detention for the rest of the year. And everyone in the comments was like, dude, that's such bullshit. For parkouring? He was like, parkour session destroyed. That's not a crazy team even.

That's pretty crazy team. Yeah, someone with a hobby. That's crazy team. We had a big deal. That's not a crazy team even. That's like a fledgling athlete. Yeah, someone with a hobby. That's crazy team. We had a high school. Well, we used to go out behind the school. One group of kids that I did one sleepover with and I thought, that's not my speed. And they would get different flammable shit

and they would pour it into the empty trash can and then light it. And just, there was no control over how flammable this stuff was. Yeah, that was my friends. We would burn shit. One time we were burning a trash can. It was like really awesome.

We were like dancing around it and all this stuff. And then a cop just fucking drove right up on the, we were in a playground. He drove right into the playground. He like tried to catch us all and everybody's fucking scattered I was still a fat kid so everybody was jumping fences and I was like I gotta find a new way and I hid in a bush and the cops were like you out and I'm like I'm covered in leaves and shit okay my parents had to come get me

really yeah were you the only one they got caught me and two other people My parents my parents came and get me and then we were on a trip to Disney World And they made me write and fill up a notebook I'm not gonna set fire to things anymore like Bart Simpson like I'm not gonna set fire to things I'm not probably radicalized you like the pedophiles no way I took that notebook through it right in the fucking You like the pedophiles no way I took that notebook through it right in the fucking yeah, that's what I mean Are you used to light shit on fire all the time we used to throw we used to what we really like to do is we Would throw like cans like whipped cream cans or like bug spray into the fire and all right It's like a full-on bomb yeah

There'd be like a mushroom cloud after those things explode light our own hands on fire and see how long we could last before we wanted to put it out. People would spray axe around, an EU around their crotch and light that on fire. That's crazy, dude. Teens are nuts. You ever make like a smoke bomb with a ping pong ball? No, how do you do that? If you like poke a hole in it and you cover it in tin foil and you light it, and something with the chemicals or whatever the ping pong ball isong balls made of it It creates like a full-on smoke bomb you the fucking Columbine Fuck

my friends and I we like we thought really little of you know like people like the cross-country team and so you know, like people, like the cross country team. And so. Ha ha ha ha, this fucking guy's life. You know, when I was a kid, we thought little of the rugby team. Well, they just, they called themselves athletes and it's like, you're just training. You know, we do what you do too,

but we then go do the real thing. Oh, I know what it's like to be a bad kid. Back in Harvard, I used to steal chocolate from them. It was at Harvard, it was at Harvard. So we actually, we went to Home Depot and we bought a bunch of sort of like cookware with a bunch of nails and things like that and then we went to their big event

which was the Boston Marathon and we. Oh, I get it. I get it, hey. The pressure cooker, that was good. Pressure it. I get it. Thank you. The pressure cooker, that was good. Pressure cooker. We did it. You were the twins. And then we realized what a mistake we made

and we went hid in boats. Boats. Remember that? That was crazy. That movie is awesome, by the way. I made a movie about that? Oh, it's so good. Patriot's Day.

And then the doc is really good too. I drove by the house without that happening. No, it's Mark Wahlberg. Timothy Chalme is just a hot Asian kid that got into Harvard. I can't believe those kids got into Harvard No, they were at UMass. I'm just joking. They went to the school Cambridge Ridge in Latin Which is like a quarter mile from Harvard really that's where they went. Yeah Legends one of them the older one was a I think a MMA I mean they put the one on fucking Rolling Stone.

That was great, the cover. And they ring lighted him. They had him looking hot as hell. Yeah, dude. How did they get it? They definitely airbrushed his face and shit in the edit. Added some like, soot on his cheeks. They just look like a mind worker.

We're just gonna sprinkle a little charcoal over your face for this photo. We used to smash mailboxes and stuff stuff and at one point we were buying like like guns like not like real guns, but like Airsoft guns and we're just like shooting out lights and shit and One time we're driving around and I'm sure I'm not gonna get arrested for this But uh we were driving around limitations exactly Statue of Liberty and we're Shoot we're shooting that shit and all that stuff. And then there was a big, you know how like

at the end of a driveway there's like a big light? You know what I mean? So we're trying to shoot out these little lights and all that stuff and totally dangerous, could have fucking killed somebody, whatever. But then we were like, oh, we should shoot out that light. And I go, I got one better. And I had a little like revolver,

like it was a revolver but it was an air thing. And I just went up to the light and I go, I got one better. And I had a little like revolver, like it was a revolver, but it was an air thing. And I just went up to light and I just fucking smashed it. We just hopped right back in the car. We're you know, we're 16 or 17. You gun butted it. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty bad. What's crazy is like you could you could buy a home in a really nice neighborhood and be like, we want to live here because it's safe. Yeah. And-

I'm from Siosset. Unruly teens, do that in your fucking gated community. They're worse teens. And you have to pay- They have rich kids. Yeah, you have to pay like just thousands of dollars to have that light replaced. Yeah, they're bored. They had money for drugs and stuff and all this shit like the town that I'm from is very well

And they feel deprived of being able to have these like crazy experiences or like we have to create this right? That's what poor kids out there who had to fuck yeah And like in the early 2000s when everybody was like doing like whoa like bird calls and dips like we all thought You know I wore do-rags and shit like I would like walk around sang. Whoa. Yeah, you went that far. Oh Buddy, I still go that far. I have a do rag in my apartment that I walk around in We were talking about the Uyghurs in the last episode what's oh the Uyghurs? Are you not allowed to say it or something? No, the Uyghurs is the the religion Muslims China the Muslims in China. Oh That were direct Asian Muslims. China, the Muslims in China. Oh.

That were du-rags. Do they really? No, we were conflating Wiggers and Wiggers. Little naughty conflating. Nothing better than talking about- Are you not allowed to say Wigger? Is that like a no-word? You know what? You're not allowed. Really?

You're not allowed. Now what are you gonna do, Sass. Put the words back in your mouth. Get that apology ready. Form a statement. No, you're not allowed. A comedian who tries to push boundaries. I said it on um Stavros's podcast and I didn't know you weren't allowed to and I'm just like yeah, I was a wigger and blah blah blah blah blah and all the he put that up as a clip and all the comments were like whoa hard R on the W word.

I feel like it's worse to say wig up. Yeah, because that's like. Yeah, because you're putting you're putting the little stank on it yourself. Yeah. When I was a wig, sounds like a little speech impediment. Yeah, all we used to do was we would. Oh, I'm a wiggle. I was just talking about that speech impediment. Yeah, all we used to do was uh I'm a wiggle I was just talking about that speech impediment last night with someone cuz I knew a kid in my school whose name was Robert

And he had that fucking Speech impediment so everybody called him a wobbler. He was like what's up? That's sad because it's the most adorable thing until you're five and then if you don't kick it, you're just going to talk like a gross. That ain't just slowly become gross. You have baby voice? Oh no, grown men with baby voice. I went and saw a dermatologist who spoke that way and I was like, what happened?

You have psoriasis. How did you get this far? You have rosacea. Do you have hot, do you take hot showers? You think you're being punked. That's so funny. You know? So. It's a very not cool speech impediment. But the only thing that we did was we would light, we would light couches on fire on frat lawns whoa Like a threat yeah, it was Jesus Christ lighting across yeah Yeah, couch is a big thing to light on fire, but then they would like come outside So I'd be like what the hell was it their couch or just a couch you bring bring couches to them you bring a couch

from spending all this money at IKEA You have to set the couch up for four hours before you light it on fire from spending all this money at Ikea yeah brand new couches are really flammable you have to set the couch up for four hours before you light it on fire it was like a survivor fire making challenge like chipping away at it where'd you go to college? Penn State oh nice nice

so we uh I think we did like seven couches over the life of our time there was that like a big frat place? like there were a lot of frats I was in a frat but that was like are like fuck you guys right cuz the frats were the jocks Yeah, all the all the guys on the on my cross-country team would always fucking Light up the fucking lacrosse houses you guys were the cool guys No, no wasn't really after you just coming back at my boyfriend the franchise The big man with his big fucking muscles and vascular fucking forearms what makes me sick

forearms are extremely let me see the inside of that form you got drink some water Jesus Christ oh my god I have a vascular buddy that uh heroin addicts used to come up to him like salivating oh my god some drugs he'd be like oh I can't imagine how nice it is to be able to shoot Oh god, that's so funny doing heroin and like assuming everyone else is doing heroin is hilarious You must have such an easy time shoot. It's like it's like seeing you like a like a fat kid in high school You should play football Someone coming up to you being like you should fucking shoot heroin. You're gonna shoot for it, dude

Yeah, but don't you the more you do it the more your veins shrink. Yeah you're like popping the veins. Then you gotta do your foot. Then you gotta do your ass. With penis? I've heard penis. I might start with my foot. Oh I hate syringes, I hate taking blood, I hate all that shit. I hate getting blood drawn. Oh yeah I pass out every time. Really? Every single time. I don't pass out. And now a thing where I just have to accept that it's going to happen. Like I used to be like, OK, all right. All right. All right. I'm good. I'm good.

And then and then I'm just like on the floor and everyone's it sucks fainting. Because when you wake up, every you're just you're you wake up to people being incredibly concerned. Yeah. The entire time you tell them before? Oh, yeah. Well, one time this was during the pandemic. Oh, yes. Remember that? Unfortunately, well, I was, you know, we were all checking to see if we had antibodies and shit, right? Or whatever, you know, and you got to get blood taken.

So I went to the city, M.D. And this was the time barbers were in open. So my hair was like crazy and You know I couldn't wash my clothes or anything so I like I looked like a nut went to the smoked weed beforehand Which was the problem? Yeah, I smoked a joint. I didn't eat that day and and So I'm like kind of all wonky and and then I go to the City MD if anything which is horrible That's like awful, and the guy he goes goes, I go, so I'm nervous, I'm a little bit of a, I usually say pussy.

I'll go, I'm a little bit of a pussy with this stuff. So, you know, try to relate to the other guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, try and bust balls a little bit. Yeah, yeah, I'm a little bit of a pussy. And he went, he's like, cause even checking for this, I'm like, so I'm like, I'm a little bit of a pussy. And he goes, whoa, language.

And then, out, I just passed out. I was so fucking nervous. He goes whoa language and it and then out. I just passed And then he like made me feel so Like giving your sternal rub like wow you are a pussy. Yeah Crazy, he said before that he was like he or at some point He goes you says that why you got a smoke weed and I go, huh? And he goes I could smell it on you. Just gotta mention it. And I'm like, oh my God, kill me now. That's brutal.

And then I woke up to hit, cause have you ever fainted? No. You ever fainted? No. It's fucking brutal, dude. You get like the, if you go like, like that's happening and it feels like

you're kind of hearing voices and shit. And then, but you're also like, oh, I guess I'm gonna go to sleep right now. Like you feel tired and gonna go to sleep. And I'm, and you're like, guess I guess I'm gonna go to sleep right now. Like you feel tired and gonna go to sleep. And you're like, guess I'm just choosing to go to sleep right now. While it's like, wha-ba-ba, wha-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

And then you wake up and everyone's looking over you, concerned, the guy's like, sir, you just passed out. He said I had a seizure, but I don't believe him. Yeah, fuck that guy. Yeah, he said he had a seizure. And then when I passed out at my doctor recently, cause I told him what happened, and he said I had a seizure, blah, blah, blah. And he was like, all right. And then when I passed out, he woke up, he told him what happened and he said I had seizure blah blah blah

He was like alright, and then when I passed out he woke up. He's like well You didn't have a seizure like I know exactly what it was yeah, I fainted and I stiffened up I was like oh yeah, isn't that fucking brutal? That's brutal. They have a new thing though that it's like this It's like about this big a plastic thing that you strap to your arm And it's supposed to stop people from passing out or some shit like that I hate that is it the site or it's literally no. It's the blood being taken. Yeah, it gets me woozy Wow, cuz bloods being taken. Yeah, I get all woozy and then I'm like boo cuz I used to think oh it's needles And it's the vein so I'm like I just won't look and then literally the last time the guy goes, okay

Well, it was you're good. We took it out and i'm like any i'm like okay i'll just chill and then as soon as i went like that i was like yeah every time every that makes you want to see it kind of oh no let me come you'd think but you everyone's invited dude i think you'd the minute i wake up you'd be like that wasn't as cool as i was thinking did i tell you guys about when I got blood drawn recently and the dude was like, he was like, you're not gonna like freak out or anything, right? And I was like, no, no, I'm fine, I'll be good. And he's like, are you sure?

That's so bad. And he was like, the last person in here said they were fine and then they freaked out. Oh, you told me this. And I was like, what are you trying to make me freak out? Dude, I was like, I just said I'm not gonna freak out. Yeah. Yeah. Where'd you go and why me freak out dude? I think I said I'm not gonna freak out Yeah, yeah, where'd you go? And why were you taking giving blood? I said a physical. Oh God, yeah

He's like I'm really bad at my job. So yeah, probably gonna freak out. I had another one like that I was I didn't take my soul off for like two weeks and I went to I had to go to a minute clinic like I was at the stand and I left to go get so off because I was like I'm losing my fucking mind Yeah, and then I went and the dude was like that you're feeling pretty weird, huh? So wait when you don't take so off, what does that feel like it's uh, it if you don't take it for like It's weird because I'll go like three days not taking it and I'll be fine Don't take it for like, it's weird because I'll go like three days without taking it and I'll be fine. But I get like these weird like brain zaps.

Dude. You take it too? No, I was on Citalopram for a little bit. It's way stronger than that. What the fuck is that? Sounds like an anti-anxiety medicine. And I was on it for... Daily or was it for like circumstantially?

No, it was daily. That was for like probably a year or two, but it actually, it was daily. That was for like probably a year or two, but it actually, it started making my suicidal ideations a lot clearer, which is a side effect for not many people. It gives you the roadmap to fucking love it. Yeah, it started to like clarify for me how I would do it.

It would actually be pretty easy, and it would make sense. Yeah, and so when I told the psychiatrist that, she was like, we need to get you off this immediately. Or I think the first time I didn't, I knew they told me that I needed to like, you need to wean off, but I didn't listen to that because I remember one day like walking down

into the subway and being like, okay, here comes the train. And it freaked me out. Cause I didn't trust, I felt like my brain was malfunctioning. This was probably like eight years ago. And so then I was like, I can't be on this drug anymore. And I just went cold Turkey, which was a really bad idea. Because yeah, within like four days,

cause it rewires your chemistry and then if you just stop, it felt like I remember being so unaware of what was real and what was not. Whoa. God damn. And like middle of the day, I'd sit down on a, I remember sitting on this like stone block right next to paragon sports of course I know that flatiron and I didn't know if I was sitting on a chair on a block on the ground

I had no idea and I otherwise sober. Yeah Noon dude, do you remember the time when we were I think you were there at the state yeah it was at the stand and I and I hadn't taken my soul off for like a week and then I got a new prescription and I took it and I had half a truly and I was like blacked out whoa yeah I had I almost like went home I was like I can't go on stage just fucked yeah so then I that that yeah that was the end of a strong drug that they give out like candy. Yeah.

I was, I was at the Jersey Shore, probably like 21 years old, about to drive up from the Jersey Shore the next morning to a rap battle. So I was going home at the, at the end of the night. And I ran into a guy who I guess was selling drugs, just a stranger selling drugs on the street. And I thought I was, he was going to give me a Percocet. And he was like, I'll have a Xanax. It was just a random stranger that I met. I'd never taken Xanax before. I was like, whatever, fucking drugs are drugs. And I fucking hopped in the car the next morning. It's like three hour drive. I'll just be able

to enjoy myself and like pop the Xanax in and started driving. And like immediately I had to find a rest stop to pull over and slept for like four hours. Yeah. What? I can't imagine. Well, that is a lot. Oh, yeah. I had no idea. I didn't know what it did. Yeah. When you're that young, you're just like, it is that drugs or drugs kind of thing. You're like, yeah, whatever. I'll take it. Whatever.

I don't care. Yeah. Just give me something. It's like a small amount of a drug. And I was so fucking tired. Just pop back up four hours later and finished the drive. Great. Yeah, Benzos are fucking insane. I did, I got prescribed Ativan for a while for flying. And one time I was, I was uh, I was going to my cousins.

Or I was going to Florida. My cousins like rented a place in Florida and I was going to visit them. And I took one Ativan and then my flight got delayed three hours. Oh my god. And then like, I was like, the Ativan's gonna wear off. I'm gonna freak out on the plane. So I took a I took a half of another one. Dude, I got to my cousin's house and I slept for like 10 hours straight. I was so out of it.

I did a I was performing on a boat. Very nice. I did a cruise that went into Mexico. That's sweet. And in Mexico, you can get all this shit over the fucking counter. Oh yeah, he goes. You know? So I paid like 10 bucks and got like...

Everything. 8 klonopins. And I was like, I want to do klonopin. Klonopin's cool. It's relaxing and all that stuff. I took one and I was like done for the rest of the week. I like, thank God we did the show already in the multiple days. Yeah, it was multiple days of like just being kind of out of it. Like I don't really remember. And then when I came home, I I immediately flew in and did a podcast

and I don't remember that fucking podcast at all. That was one cloud up in no one Mexican. That's must have been strong. I put the rest of them in the toilet. No I was scared. I was scared if I got on a plane with these drugs. I'd be arrested or something It's so crazy that countries like that like where they manufacture and sell this shit over the counter that there's just not a drug problem It's just like there's just Mexican dudes like working away like building building a house, like happy as can be. And they just have like a couple of surveys after work. Right. Like they're not like like a fistful of Xanax and Klonopin

or whatever. They're like popping and talking. It's just not a problem at all. It scared me. I was like, fuck this. I don't want to I don't want to do this. Because they're like the real heavy duty drugs. Yeah. Then you go in there's like a laminatedinated menu like you're going into the Cheesecake Factory Yeah, just every drug under this and I'm coming in as some like white cuck being like are you telling me? This is all just eight dollars

But they also my wife got like some Heavy strength like antacids or whatever from Mexico and she still like has the bottle and it fucking works wonders It's fucking where's he fucking going? Bastard bathroom. You should go to the take a pee. All right guys, let's take a second and talk about butcher box Oh, I love butcher box this summer You can get incredible deals on premium cuts from butcher box deals that are Pretty hard to come by by you know deals this good Especially at the grocery store. Okay, the grocery store to me is dead

I'm only a butcher box guy exclusively because with butcher box you can easily find high quality meat and seafood that you can trust up I'm talking about one percent grass-fed beef free range organic chicken, pork raised, crate free and wild caught seafood for you, Sass. Come on. Perfect summer barbecue stuff. And it's really anything you want.

I know you're a salmon man. Love salmon. Of course. I'm a steak guy. Of course. I like chicken. Yeah, you always have. Francis loves chicken.

He always has. You can get customized box plans delivered right to your doorstep with free shipping Food brings people together You know that and whether it be Labor Day weekend or enjoying a summer sunset Or even as we trickle into the autumnal months Butcher box has you covered and there's a variety of high quality cuts at an amazing value get exclusive member deals recipe inspiration tip and more

with ButcherBox. I wonder what tip is? I wonder what they mean by just saying tip in the middle of that sentence. I don't know. Could be anything. Could be a surprise. Sign up now. Steak tips. That's right, maybe, probably. Sign up now and choose from Filet Mignon, ribeye, New York strips, all free in every ButcherBox all year. Use code BOYDAD or visit ButcherBox.com slash BOYDAD to receive an additional $20 off. That's code BOYDAD to get you $20 off. For Labor Day weekend offer valid through September 3rd. Wow.

He's absolute coward. What a fucking what a bitch all this drug talk. He's like, I gotta go to the bathroom real quick just chews up is that is that Kalana pen in your teeth? Wow you think he would do that for any other guests? I don't think so exactly the absolute disrespect you we're talking about how they they fight on the road you ever rattle on the road with Soder? No

Soder's my daddy you know he's, we're two peas in a fucking pod. What's going on the road with him? Yeah. What's the road relationship like? What do you guys just smoke some weed? Smoke weed. We play. We both have steam decks. So we're like, we'll we'll wake up. We'll get lunch. We'll go back. We'll play our own steam decks.

One time we tried to. We don't really like we hang out. But like once we go back to our hotels, it's were both in we were in Texas recently and he was like We were like, let's watch a movie and we got like 30 minutes into Dewey Cox and we're just like that's funny I'm gonna go to sleep But it's fun. Yeah, I mean he's he's the fucking best and his shows are kick-ass like being a feature is Why it's just a light lift? Light lift. I mean, yeah.

I'm like, yeah, you're doing 20 minutes. You get the fucking best material. Like he's a killer. So if I, you know, if I, I don't have that, like I gotta do well. Like it's like, whatever. If I fucking bomb. It's his show.

It's yeah. I mean, he's going to whatever, my **** bomb. It's his show. It's it. Yeah. He's going to turn it around. He's going to be good. You know, it's it's it's very comfortable. He's the **** best. That's **** sick. He's so cool, dude. Are you guys still on tour? Is it or

we're going to Buffalo this weekend? **** yeah. Yeah. And then, uh yeah, I mean, he's he's he's got me in a couple of places and we're doing, I think I keep having to remind him because you never know when someone can take some shit away and be like, not taken away, but be like, Oh fuck, sorry. I fucking booked a Dan St. Germain to do that.

But I think we're doing, I think I'm opening for him at town hall. Oh no. For his show in November. That would rule. Soder? Nice little fuck. Yeah. And now we can't do, not do it.

It's on wax. Yeah, and you know, and he doesn't drink either, so there isn't that like, we don't, like I don't like to party on the road anymore. I just kind of like, I'm like, I'll do the fucking thing and then I'll smoke weed and I'll go jerk off in my hotel. He said they bring Steam decks. Yeah, we got Steam decks. Really? Yeah, do you have one?

No. I've been telling him he should start. I've been doing PlayStation, I have a PlayStation 5. I just got one a couple months ago. You bring it on the road? No, but I do PlayStation Remote Play. What's that? Which is you set your PlayStation to remote play before you leave and then it's still plugged in and stuff and then you just connect it to your laptop and then when you go on the road you press you open up the PlayStation Remote Play app and you press link PlayStation and then it turns your PlayStation on at home and it

mirrors it onto your laptop when you're away and use a Mac yeah and it doesn't run like absolute dogshit if you have your PlayStation hooked up to like Ethernet at home it works fine it for like Call of Duty it's not great it because it there's like a good amount of lagging it's not even the lag it like weirdly grainy. Right. So like anyone that's not directly in front of you, you have a hard time aiming and shooting at, but like NCAA you can easily play. I played that for like hours. Start bringing a tower bro. Quit fucking around. Yeah, bring your PC. Do you play games? No, no. No. Neither of them play games. You don't play video games? No, I just try to learn as much terminology as possible so I can communicate with SAS. Every time No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And I'm like all right. Let me give this dude a s for tonight a fucking chance. It's a box this rules

Yeah, you gotta play apex Nah apex rules now. It's so fun. You replace on the island You know what is that the there's so many zombie games is that like the first person? You know you're just fucking up zombies on an island. Yes. That's it. Yes. I played zombie. That was a fun one Oh, yeah, you were play half-life. Yes. That's a fun one. That's a fun one. When did you play these? Oh, I used to be a big gamer. Really? Big time gamer. That was, I was, yeah. You know, they called me, that's what they knew me for. I know Half-Life. You don't. I asked you during the movie and you said you didn't. That's probably why I know it. Right, we went and saw Alien Rectum.

How was it? Romulus, sorry. It was fine. Alien's also a video game, you can play, there's a horror game where you're walking around the space station, this alien is fucking chasing the shit out of you. That's what we were talking about,

I said I wanted to get into those horror games. Horror games fucking rule. Yeah, that's a good one. You wanna get into a horror game? There's two different ones, there's ones where you can actually fight back. Yeah, there's ones where if you get caught, you're just you're it's more like puzzles and you're like point click like Resident Evil. You could fight back, which makes it even scarier

because they you have to kill them or they kill you, you know. Or there's this game called at something at dawn where you're in a hotel like at night at dawn or some shit. and it's got the like really good graphics like they look like fucking people And there's a guy stalking you with an axe and you're trying to solve a way to get out of this hotel And it's three floors so you have to go to the three floors You have to keep constantly do you feel scared when you're playing yes, because I will I turn the lights off and I get all Scary, you know I like that tonight. Yeah, sounds awesome You're playing yes, cuz I will I turn the lights off and I get all scary Yeah

No Get a fucking tower, bro My own I don't think you can play Did you build yours I actually had help from the guy who got arrested for pedophilia no He set my whole shit up so now I'm afraid he like dumps some files. Yeah. He's like, uh, download this too. Yeah.

What's this random thumb drive I've had sticking out of my tower for three years? Ginger six-year-old fucks his own ass? Dude, have you seen the Instagram? I'll see like an Instagram post and they'll be like, you know when you're scrolling Instagram and you randomly just get like some dude who's clearly on drugs and like homeless Yeah, he's filming on like yeah

Yeah, and all the comments will just be like they'll be like 600 terabytes minimum I don't really get that they're predicting how many terabytes of Computer terabytes Jesus. Yeah. Well, it's always terabytes. They're never in gigabytes. Oh, yeah I could have a bigger cuz they got massive files. Oh my god They but the fact that this guy knows how to build a fucking like a tower or whatever and also knows how to find Childporn is like with great power comes great You'd almost like to that you'd almost wonder if he's that technically savvy, why is he not better at hiding it?

How did he get caught? I don't know. If he's so good. That's what I'm wondering. Right. But then you realize that the FBI's team of people, who the cyber team. It's like the Frank Abagnale of child porn.

Or like they must be the best. You're so good at child porn, we need to hire you. That's exactly what I would say. I would go, guys, you can use me. Please. I'll catch them. I can get inside the mind of a pedophile. Frank, what do you make of this scene? It's a shot on a Leica red. The coloring's all wrong. Can see at the edges. This is down in Buenos Aires. Elementary school. Carl Hanratty.

That's a 14 year old bilingual child. Damn. Damn dude. That's fucked up. It does get deep. It's fucked up now. You took it too far? I don't think it was me.

It's been, we've been there. Or maybe the guy was just like, maybe he didn't want to be into child porn But he was just so good at computers that he just wanted to like test himself He had to prove to himself that he could access it. It's the ultimate hack. It's like yeah It's the final frontier of hacking. Can you get to the child porn? He's like a safecracker that never looks inside the safe He opens. Yeah I don't even want to know what's in there. Isn't there like a big argument though Where like I guess you could be like,

I didn't know this was getting downloaded. I downloaded like a virus or some shit. Yeah. A friend of mine went there. Thought I got an Xbox card. Seriously, that video? That's where the terabytes become damning. Yeah.

A friend of mine went down for that, and it was the night that I got engaged, all of my friend group found out, and they were like at the bar afterwards calling him like drunk I mean like what the fuck is like? Did you fucking do this? He's like no like I thought I was just downloaded regular porn Oh my god, who's downloading porn? Exactly what normal person is downloading exactly now yeah, and now we and now he's out He's like out of jail, and he's still link with him No

But I'm not like the old we found out what he did we found out what it what his job was and he's like at like A tech solutions company our shirt like that It like sounds like a fake evil company that he's working at but I wonder if it's just like a loophole this company that they Can hire pedophiles or something like that? They just find the good, the best workers. Well, it's probably that Frank Eppingnell shit where they're like, okay, let's get the people that know how to hack and shit work for the IP. Playing for the other team now. Yeah.

What do you think the CIA is made up of? Being a white collar US attorney, or US attorney that prosecutes white collar, like financial crimes, and then going and becoming the in-house counsel for JP Morgan. That happens, right? Which happens a lot. Does that happen a lot? All the time. That's the in-house counsel for JP Morgan. That happens, right? Which happens a lot. Does that happen a lot?

All the time. That's the route. They work at the US Attorney's Office and they prosecute financial crimes and then Goldman hires them to facilitate financial crimes. To be their in-house counsel. Whoa.

And they go from making a government salary to tens of millions of dollars. That's like the dude, the Maine governor or something who he got... Thank you, King. The guy that got hired by the Sackler family. Oh. He passed a bunch of laws making it easier to get opioids in Maine and then he immediately got hired by the Sackler family. I think you're right.

I remember hearing about that Yeah, that's from dope sick, right? It's in yeah, well, it's in dope sick. Yeah What spoilers it just happened get all your news from Netflix TV shows oh? That's in Game of Thrones HBO. That's HBO. Oh, sorry painkillers is on days on Netflix. Oh, I didn't that's a great show It's good. That one good. Yeah, I felt like it would be redundant after seeing Dove say it kind of is, but there's different. There's different. You see that interview with Tyler, the creator, where he was like, I watched Painkillers and it made me want to apologize to Eminem.

Really? Yeah. Well, he was like he was like he said he like shit on that recovery album, which I love. I love that recovery album. And he was like, yeah, when it came out, I shit on it a lot. And then I watched Painkillers last year and I really felt bad for him. That's how preposterous. Hilarious to be watching the painkiller show that impacted like a million people in the United States and being like, I feel so bad for Eminem right now.

The one dude who came out on top. Yeah, you go, I should call Marshall. He's clean and he's got tens and tens of millions of dollars. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Call anybody else. Poor bastard. Fucking heart goes out to him. Yeah, dude. Well, thank you for coming on, bro. Oh, we're done. We don't have to be. I could go all day. I control the fucking. No, we don't set it. I'll go six. I'll go six hours.

Well, you already peed, bro. You're fucking... No, we can end it. No, when I pee, I come back second life. Oh, yeah? It's swear to God. Half life. Yeah.

Ooh. Pangolins. Ooh. Half life. No, I'll go. I'll go. We won't. We won't.

A little small births of me. That's how much people can take. No, let's continue. Let's go. Let's continue. Let's go. All right. Is there any more pedophile stuff? We know what I did I was curious about the the PC. What are the what are the perks is you're a Call of Duty guy? Yeah, so what's the point of having a PC? You know what? It's just faster and you can stream better like it Oh cuz you stream stream you can yeah twitch.tv slash sags to riches And you could you can stream on like OBS and shit and it like looks yeah Where is like if you have a PS5 and you want to stream all you have is that little camera in the corner?

Yeah, fucking douchebag use their I do I used to stream when I was in high school And I would stream for one dude and the same dude would watch every single time and he'd donate like five bucks And I bet a crazy here's a little tip. Why would you take your pants off? Have you ever tried that? You actually might get more followers if you, uh, lick your lips a little bit more. Dude, at one point I had, at one point I had 13 viewers and I was having like a full on panic attack.

Buddy. I couldn't contain myself. I had a guy. I had a fucking guy. I fumbled the bag hard on that. There was a guy with millions of streamers who at the end of his. So at the end of your stream, you can host, you can host and throw all your followers into someone else's room. Right.

And he chose he was just he went like this. Like someone showed me the video because they follow him. And they were like, dude, when he picked you, he was just like, he's like, let's find a guy. He was kind of insulting about it. He's like, let's find one of these like no followers. And he goes to my thing and luckily something funny happened.

He's like, all right, this guy puts like tons and tons of people, like thousands and thousands of people in my room. And I'm like, oh, hey guys. And you're trying to, you're trying, like I had like 15 people and then it's like 700ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ That's so brutal. That's crazy though. The hosting thing is pretty insane. I know it's so cool I used to watch like ninja host like small streamers now is when he was getting like literally getting like half a million people watching live Jesus Christ these fucking guys man dude one time who's watching these guys though? So I've never met anyone who's actually in I used to watch ninjas like YouTube videos in high school

But I would never like go on twitch and watch his I'd rather play the game but there is a guy called GoodGriefs on uh... on uh... what are you doing? Foraging? Well I had a funny thing to add, but Sass came over the top, so... What do you have to add? Just didn't even want to say it anymore. It's... yeah, maybe I'll go too. Hahaha! That's crazy!

Alright, well I guess we can end it. Look. Those fucking douchebags. Yeah, what the fuck. Dude, if it would be really funny if you left with them, that would be... No, no, never. If you were really funny, you would leave with them. No, I don't abandon the guests.

No, I... That's the kind of shit that I run. This ain't hard for me at all. Okay, I could do this with nobody in this room. I Was having fun talking about streaming Francis when we're not talking about fucking the arts Francis got sensitive Oh, yeah, oh my god little bitch ass these days. He said sass interrupted me. So yeah, let me guess something about Congress or You're dead on dude, that wasn't interrupting right? That was we're riffing. You interrupted You did interrupt. I don't like that at all. So what you guys go on the road together and you argue all the time

What do you argue about? We really don't argue. It's just like casual. Just annoyed with each other. Yeah, it's just a casual banter Yeah, it's so funny when you get into like an argument with like a buddy and and you have to and they're like hey Do we have to talk about something and you're like look this is how it is you annoy the shit out of me sometimes you're like a like a brother to me like you just annoy me so just be prepared to be annoyed Francis what were you gonna talk about but isn't it it's like a situation where like they'll say like do we have to talk about that and you're like I've never even thought about it for a second after the conversation ended all the time Yeah, I'll have a buddy. That's like hey, man. You never call me and I'm like I don't call anybody

Yeah, what are you talking about? I never call anybody. Yeah, I'm I I isolate when I'm when I'm sad. Yeah, yeah Full isolation. Oh, he's coming. He's coming Yeah Full isolation. Oh, he's coming. He's coming But that was really funny what you said yeah I'm starting to feel bad. I don't want I don't want to keep you guys. Let's let's what are you talking about? Now I have second life because I just peed all right Yeah, fucking get this thing going thing really is the second life. Why don't you guys go build yourselves a computer and run and I'll talk. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Here's what happened, because you were talking about watching the people dwindle. Yeah. In COVID, when COVID fell, I remember, who was it? It was, do you know the guy, Tank Sinatra? Yeah. He has, whatever, millions of followers. He did this thing where he was like, he hit me up and he was like,

hey, why don't we do, we each put in a thousand bucks and I'll do a thing from my main account that if you follow these three accounts, we'll choose someone at random to win $3,000. And it'll help grow your follower count. And I was like, okay, so I pitched in a thousand bucks and I gained 80,000 followers. Wow.

Yeah, sounds great. And then they chose the winner and then I lost 50,000. Oh my God. Once the thing was over. And then the remaining 30,000, I would post videos and stuff and all of the comments would be like how on earth am I following? This yeah, why am I following? Who are you? What the fuck is this? I don't even know how I found this account this guy sucks

This is it was just like and I was watching that and then it all dwindled right back down to the same number that I only have that's funny when you get like when you do like a video that goes kind of viral or whatever and you get like, say like 30,000 followers and shit, it starts becoming like you're holding this Faberge egg that is your account and you're like, okay, and like if you like show it in a weird way, people are like, nah, gone. I don't like, like if you, the next thing you post can make you lose effort. Right, it's like, do you like this, do you also like this? That's why, that's why the TikTok,

that's why all the big TikTokers, they get big off of one video and then they just recreate the video for the rest of time. I'll tell you what, I was thinking about this the other, Jesus Christ, the other day, not the first time I ruined a couch. I don't think you ruined it.

JD Vance. The, I was thinking about this the other day, the people that make TikTok videos and Instagram videos where it's repeating that thing that worked for them, that is our version as comedians or entertainers or whatever the fuck of people with fucking taglines and like slogans. That's our getter done. That's our fucking... You know how to bring it?

No, I can't breathe. You can't breathe. When I can't breathe. You can't breathe. When I can't breathe well, I yawn to try to get a breath. Why can't you breathe? I'm just full of anxiety. I went off the teleprane eight years ago.

Hey man, it's gonna be okay. Hey kid. I do that too though, I try and yawn to catch my breath. Exactly, I need a deep breath to fill my lungs. I'm sorry, I agree. I was saying just do it Nike all that Well like no it's not even like just do it or whatever it's like it's like comedian fucking being like, you know What's another one when you might be a redneck? Yeah, like even stuff that's funny Whatever like, you know, but that's our version of it. No comedian has a fucking tagline anymore

It's there but when something hits now, they're just recreating it and that's their fucking tagline. Yeah. Or it's also just like doing comedy. How you guys just go up and tell the same jokes over and over again. Yeah, Ron doesn't believe in that. Charlie D'Amelio dancing to the same fucking renegade dance. I'm a savage. Ron doesn't believe in that because the rap battlers they just do the thing they do the set once ever and then it's done. Really? You do it one time. That makes sense. And then you never do it again. What if you battle the same guy and you're like, I'll just use the same fucking lines.

But then everybody heard it because you do it once and then it goes out and then it's out into the world already. Oh, you burn the material. Material is always done once. You have to do it perfect and then it's burned right away. So for stand-ups, in your mind, like the purest form of artistic value that they could give is to never repeat the same set over and over and over. Like, Rohn thinks that like Matt Rife is the purest. Yeah, cause he's a nice guy. It's all crowd work.

He's a nice guy though. He is a nice guy. I do have a problem with Netflix. I mean, I'm sure he has no control over this, but the Netflix, you know, pushing the thing of like the first crowd work video that we've ever made. That's a slap in the face to Big J, bro. That's Todd Berry.

But Big J, Todd Berry. Big J didn't have a special on Netflix as a crowd work special, right? I don't think so. But they did produce Todd Berry's special, or they put it on their platform and it was a crowd work special So they're just kind of like completely ignoring it wasn't the tour called like the crowd work

It was called the crowd work special So I don't know that's a little funky to me And I you know not gonna tell anybody how to live my their life But if that were me I would tweet something out like I would go like actually Todd was the first one Todd did tweet about it. That's how I know about it Oh really? Yeah, he tweeted and said it was He got some fucking lip fillers and his jaw done Todd Barry getting lip fillers would be so funny He's like I think he has one of the funniest Instagram accounts ever really dude his when he just posts photos with his cat

And he's just like and people say manly men can't have cats I love it Did he posted a video he posted a video with the paparazzi filter on and it's just him recording his cat And I've ever heard his cat's name, but he's like Paparazzi just won't stop taking photos of my cat. He is so funny man. He like starts every set he's like finally a famous person. You might recognize me from pootie tang. So your tip is stealing. He's got this joke where he's like talking to a friend and he said I have a great tip on how to get free internet when you go to a hotel.

He goes, you log into the internet and tell them it's not working. They won't turn it off and blah, blah, blah. And he goes, so your tip is stealing. I got this great tip on how to get a little old lady's purse. Dude, did you watch his new special, the one on YouTube? And he starts it off and he does this big bit about him going to get Girl Scout cookies and

there's a massive line. There's a massive line. We're just reciting Todd Berry bits. There's a massive. Wow, come on. I love Todd Berry, but come on. There's a massive line for the girl and he's like, he waits in line and he gets to the front

and they're like, what's up, what's with the line? And the mom goes, he he goes her face is on the box and then and then he goes at the end then the bit ends and he goes he goes I was talking to a good friend of mine Chris Rock and he said he said when you film your special make sure you started off with a really funny bit and then he goes I believe I've done just that that That is funny. That paid off for me. But it almost didn't and I need you to know that. There was a long time when I asked you.

But it did. Francis is still seething. Francis is like, fuck Todd. No, it's alright Ben. If I, I don't know. What's your Todd Berry story? I gave him a ride home a couple weeks ago. Oh nice. In my car. I uh... What's your Todd Berry story? I gave him a ride home a couple weeks ago. Oh nice.

In my car. You have a car? Yeah. Tesla. Series X. Oh nice. What's his address? Model 3.

Get real. Yeah, what's his address? He lives near Union Square. Hahahaha! I don't know, I wouldn't know exactly. You need a ride? Alright, alright, you weren't at this. You were at the stand with Seller.

Seller. Of course. Nice. Classic. Of course. Love that place. Legend. Legends. Love chopping it up there. All right, all right you weren't at this you were at the stand with seller of course nice Love that place legend legends love chop a little legends just driving home Yeah, hey, it's free cuz the Tesla just fucking talking to each other shaking hands making eye contact with each other Having a good conversation knee to knee Shaking hands the whole drive This big screen gets Pac-Man, did you know that? You can play some fun games on that screen.

Can you watch Netflix on it too? Yeah, you can. And you can make little fart sounds. Really? It's got like a built-in fart app. Classic Elon. That guy's a real jokester. Yeah, that guy loves joking.

What did he say on Twitter though? He was like, maybe I'm just too like, he said something like, he was like pondering the universe. He might've said autistic. He's like, maybe I'm just too autistic or something. That's funny. He's always just hitting like my autistic ass jokes on Twitter, on X. Just leaning into it too much.

My theory is that he burned out in the first half of his career. Cause if you read the biography, he used to sleep at the office. Factory. Yeah, exactly. And now I'm like, how does he have time to be going over the mechanics of SpaceX and Tesla and the boring company and all these different things when he seems to be just on Twitter all fucking day.

Like is he in meetings? There's probably a lot of people tweeting for him. Tweeting memes about Kamala and stuff? It's like Antonio Brown's Twitter where everyone's like, Antonio Brown is a comedic genius. He's never once opened Twitter. There's like 30 people working for him Seems like his voice. It's so unpredictable

And you'd have to believe that if he does have people vetting them or tweeting for him Then he's checking the tweets because they're so insane. They're like, yeah, that's true shit Well, didn't they say that when Trump was in office like one of every ten tweets of his would actually go Like he'd write like a hundred tweets and they'd be like we're not gonna put out any of these they're crazy it's so weird man it's like our planet is so fucking strange in a way where we have like the richest smartest man in the world and he's got like fucking uncle energy where he's like okay cancel me but you know you can't say anything anymore you're the smartest, you're the smartest, richest man in the world, and you're doing that.

And he has like a 21 year old, uh, like social media manager that's in charge of him. That's like, you can't say that. And he's also like, arguing with his kids on Twitter now. Yeah. Like, I should have named you X425. Yeah. Don't you think the richest family in the world would not be like getting in Twitter arguments? I just feel like there needs to be a little bit more class.

Can we class it up? I think we can all agree. Just a little bit more class. I think Francis, you'd be on board with that. Yeah. A little bit more class. I don't give a shit anymore. I'm giving up. Hell yeah, dude. I love this era.

I ate seven Reese's peanut butter cups during the podcast. Now, I'm gonna want some of those Is there a bowl of some sort somewhere or did you bring that from home? There's a bunch we can go to the snack I actually would love some as well. I say we fucking in this. Yeah, let's wrap it up Yeah, all right check out Brendan special on YouTube. Oh, yeah thin lips on YouTube and yeah, that's it. I like the name Thanks, dude. I like your I like I like ThinLips and I like Sags to Riches. Thanks. Those gave me a good chuckle. Mickey Glazefest over here. Yeah they're funny names. It's better than just like Brendan Sagalow. Yeah. Presents. Oh you're like live at the fucking who cares. Yeah. You don't have to explain your glazing.

Hey man don't get jealous that people are complimenting someone else, okay? Anytime someone starts complimenting on this pot, we do that. We say it's a glaze fest. On the same way. I would yell at my co-hosts, I'd be like, why don't you just suck his cock already? Yeah, listen to, watch Brandon special. Yeah pop punk Francis is gonna be in Austin. Yeah soon. Yeah, I don't tell set should be out by now. Nice, dude. Thank you and That's all see you guys next episode. Goodbye