Son of a Boy Dad - Brunch Bastards | Son of a Boy Dad #171

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

Brunch Bastards | Son of a Boy Dad #171 -- Lil Sas & Francis are joined by Smokes to recap their weekends -- Ad: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/boy. -- Ad: Get 10% off your entire order at https://HELLOTUSHY.com when you use code BOYDAD at checkout. -- Ad: Go to https://HelloFresh.com/sonfree and use code sonfree for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Lifestyle. Lifestyle's fucking hilarious. Wish we had a lifestyle podcast. That's funny, we are. How you talk about how cool you are.

All right, let's do it. All right, ready? No, no headphones. All righty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is February 5th. Man, February is flying by. We are here from Las Vegas. We are at the Super Bowl right now.

Yep. Shout out to All Business Pete for hooking us up with a replica of our studio in the hotel room. And people say you can't get stuff done. I know. Who says that? A lot of people like to hate on him. Not us though. We're happy to be here. Rowan's back in New York. That's why I'm just back in New York. They only sent us three. For some reason they're doing the yak out in New York this week. Yeah. But how are we doing, fellas? Good? Good.

And we got Tommy Smokes. We got Tommy Smokes here. Yep. Filling in for our own. Man who needs no introduction. Yeah. Because everyone that watches it really gets mad when you're on. Really?

Now. Oh, I can leave. Now, what do you actually like when you're on? I like to do whatever makes people like me the most. That's how I live my life. So if people would prefer if I leave, I will leave. Now, people like when you're on i like to do whatever makes people like me the most that's how i live my life so if people would prefer if i leave i will leave now people like when you're on people prefer for me to stay i will stay i i feel the same way and you know i think about like killing myself and hot start and blaming blaming them 30 seconds and then the haters yeah so if they if i did and because people say kill yourself and then i did would it make them happy which is a win

or would they feel sad and realize we were wrong all along we actually miss him which would also make me happy no they would they would be the same people who would be on twitter being like good written such a good blogger no they would be like no one deserved to go through what francis was going through they would flip around flip completely dude they'd be like kill yourself no that's like they weren't part of the problem mental health is such a serious thing that's not what i want can't speak up but the i guess that's why you can't kill yourself dude as someone who lives to please seven or can't let them win i can i can die the same way and that to me is a win-win i don't think people would be pleased with you killing yourself not the people that say kill yourself no i don't think so i think they they would be like when they feel empowered that guy

going through yeah they would have no idea it's their fault they'd be like man he must be going through some shit oh that's not good i've turned some people that's the best when you turn them yeah they dm you and they go dude i know i told you to kill yourself like 10 times before but that was pretty funny what you did there now i want you to live yeah you have my permission and then i reply and say, too late. It's already been done. Unless you stick your fingers down my throat. I am waking up in a pile of my own vomit. I always find an underrated comment when people say like, I don't care what other people say. Like, you're underrated, dude.

Or like, this was actually funny. This was like low-key funny. Yeah, don't listen to what everyone else is saying. Yeah, the whole internet yeah you're actually pretty underrated yeah i got a question if i'm at a restaurant and the adjacent table has a birthday cake coming in and everyone's singing happy birthday is it cool for me to sing happy birthday or not cool for me to say you're supposed to do you no obviously not but you're definitely supposed to. When you say cool, do you mean cool as in acceptable or cool as in hip? Hip. It's definitely not hip, I'll tell you that, but it is acceptable and I don't think it's not

cool. I don't think it's like, oh, look at that fucking loser. I think if you're going really into it, it's kind of weird. How do you learn the name of the child before it comes to the verse that features their name usually you just say some other shit like what well when they're like happy birthday dear this one you just got to improvise you just got to go like kids sitting next to me oh you go that you kind of get meta i've never been in this situation ever i'm just going off of what you're referring to. It literally just happened to me.

Yeah. What did you say? I did what Tommy just said. I went, huh, huh. Yeah. But in hindsight, I wished that I had asked, as we were getting into it, happy birthday to you. What's his name? Well, like, hold up.

Wait, before you get any closer.'s coming when was that time you got saying happy birthday to at a restaurant never dude when i mean i first when me and rome were doing neighborhood eats a couple years ago before tommy came on and ruined it classic show and then it got canceled the magic the three of us made in la well it still gets talked about it was actually very fun but uh rome would tell them it was my birthday every time. That's so great. And we were at like a Texas Roadhouse. Ugh.

And they made me. Dude, you've said that before. And I've truly never disagreed with anything more in my entire life. The worst meal there. Texas Roadhouse is honestly, it's like I go there on my birthday. It's like one of my favorite restaurants ever. We're not sponsored by them or anything, right? No. I'm gonna take go out on a limb and say no no but it is so good my guess would be that there's a big variety there's a big range of quality at texas roadhouse

and the one i went to was not good i mean as far from texas as you can get i go to one in florida that's pretty solid they got a pretty good steak i think the closer you get to texas the better your texas road i went to one you know where i went to one you said florida i think albany new york i think me and mook went to one in albany yeah i think there's one right near the hotel that makes sense that that's good when there's no other game in town yeah like texas roadhouse is the nice dude texas roadhouse is the one where you can go and you can like pick what cut of steak you want. Right.

That's where the top steak chefs go in Albany. It is. They're like, I got to work at a fucking Texas Roadhouse. And the beer there is so cold. Ice cold. Longhorns and- Not even close. Not even in the same round.

It's so much better. Not even in the same round. Wait a minute. I might be thinking of Longhorns. I might be getting Longhorns in Texas. I think you are. Dude, Texas Roadhouse is trash. Texas Roadhouse is the one that has The buns

With the Cinnamon butter Oh so fucking good Yeah Okay I'm back One has a bowl If it's your birthday They put you on a bowl

I had to sit on the bowl That's where I was Done with that story That's Texas Roadhouse They made me sit on the bowl A bucking bowl? Yeah They bring out

Like a seat Mechanical? It's like a saddle A sibian They make you sit on Like a saddle It's a sibian It's very uncomfortable I like to do that When I go out to dinner With. Mechanical? It's not actually a seat. It's like a saddle. A Sibian. They make you sit on like a saddle. It's a Sibian. It's very uncomfortable.

I like to do that when I go out to dinner with my grandma who has Alzheimer's. Yeah. I get her a birthday cake and she doesn't know any better. She just says, oh, today's my birthday. And she doesn't fight back on it. That's fun. It's a look of confusion on her face. Wow.

And then I get to eat her chocolate molten lava cake, ideally. It is very fun. Why wouldn't she eat it? She shouldn't have that type of sugar no her sugar levels are way too high dude she gets she gets the confusion and i get the cake they come out and they're like uh they go they're like ladies and gentlemen i'd like to introduce you to my brand new friend and they go what's your fucking name harry and they go everyone please give a welcoming or i forget what i forget how it goes there's a video i have a video of it of me on the fucking thing it's so uncomfortable i didn't realize they had a like i i had that up like my cousin who's like five he went on the thing yeah yeah i didn't realize

that's an option for adults as well dude i just went to the bathroom when i came back and they were bringing over the saddle and i was like well i was like oh shit whose birthday is it and then they were like you it's your birthday i was like fuck dude no it isn't but it's like that sucked but then ron did it when we were at ruth's chris and that was awesome because then they bring nice stuff yeah yeah is that like you just get free cake if you say it's your birthday by the way ruth's chris is way better than Texas Roadhouse. I don't think anybody would. Ruth's Chris is supposed to be like a nice, like a chain

steakhouse. It's really good. But Texas Roadhouse, dude, the environment of Texas Roadhouse, that's like, if I could go to Texas Roadhouse every night, I would. And I'd never get sick of it. It's just a good vibe. It just seems like a restaurant where you can still smoke inside. I don't know.

If you could smoke inside, I don't know. That would be awesome. If you could smoke inside, that would make it even better. I don't like it. Well, we're going to go in Albany. No, we're fucking not. We absolutely are. It's going to be your birthday. I promise you, you haven't been to that area of Albany.

Shout out. Sass and I are going to be in Albany in two weekends. You can go buy tickets for that at harrysettlewebsite.com. No. Little Sasquatch website. That's not even close to what my website name is. LittleSasquatchWebsite.com. We're also going to be in Denver this weekend.

In like two days. This weekend we'll be in Denver and then the next weekend we'll be in Albany and we're going to be fly fishing. Yeah. It's going to be cold. Tell me about that. Fly fishing. Not as much to tell. fly fishing. Yeah. It's going to be cold. Tell me about that. Fly fishing.

Not much to tell. He's the expert. It's just fishing. Okay. Yeah. I thought there'd be a little something more there. No, he's fishing with flies instead of like bait. It's about the cast.

Okay. So Sass has developed this technique. Called shadow casting? Yeah. In the time that I was away from Barstool, I realized he had become a master. I've never gotten into fishing. That was a River Runs Through It reference. Yeah, no, I knew that.

No, you didn't. I totally knew that. You've never seen River Runs Through It? You know what I watched last night? I watched Seven. That's another old Brad Pitt one. Seven is a classic. No, I've seen it before. knew that. You've never seen it. In my head, I knew it. You know what I watched last night? I watched Seven. That's another old Brad Pitt one. Seven is a classic. No, I've seen it before.

I've actually only seen it once before. I've only seen it once before, too. And I just remember it being good, but I do not remember movies very well. Really? I feel like that's one where it's tough to rewatch. Because it's so spooky? No, just because you know what's going to happen. I mean, I know the what's in the box, what's in the box.

I still enjoyed it a lot. I do think movies that hinge on one big twist are very difficult to re-watch but then it's kind of like more fun of knowing what's coming looking at the hints of how the creepiest part in that one is when they find the dude was he sloth and he's still alive it's like the skeleton yeah he moves and he keeps feeding him yeah that's really bad that one's fucked I was pretty grossed out by the... Obesity one. What was that? Gluttony. Yeah, that one's nasty because he burst.

He made him eat spaghetti until he popped. I will say that of all the ways that everybody died in that movie, that would have been my favorite way to go. Yeah? See, I don't remember a single way. Mine would have been the wife. I'd rather just have my head cut off spoiler no then then eating spaghetti until you are full and die i mean dude i think what

we've experienced i mean i've come close to that before i've nearly did that this weekend they had a chicken parm the size of a paddle i think the fullest you've ever been you'd have to multiply it by three and then it still wouldn't even be close to like death of eating i don't know i get some pretty bad stomach aches dude he ate until his intestines burst i i think i've been close yeah but he his intestines are much bigger than mine because he'd been overeating for a long time he was already obese. Yeah, but dude, that means that he had to eat more spaghetti than you could even imagine. But my size of spaghetti that I would need to die from is smaller than his.

Yeah, but it's still... And hence we come closer to it on a daily basis. No, no, that's just not how that works at all. I think three and a half plates of spaghetti, I'm blowing up. Dude, you... Three and a half, three and three quarters plates of spaghetti. I think that was probably, I mean, obviously the sloth one was the worst one. Assuming two meatballs.

Oh, worse than the guy who fucked the stripper with the dick made out of a knife? Yeah, I forgot about that one. That one's pretty bad too. That was pretty bad. But no, there's no way that that was worth than Sloth. Sloth, dude, he was tortured for a year straight. They said that he's experienced more pain than anyone has ever experienced.

But that one guy ate a lot of spaghetti. The spaghetti one is bad. I think we're underestimating how bad the spaghetti one would be. Hmm. Shane Gillis hosting SNL on February 26th. Fourth. What do you think of this?

It's great. Full circle moment, as they say. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I get, obviously, you take it because it's such a big opportunity. But I wonder if there was a part of him that was like, no, guys like i don't want to do it but i feel like anytime i've seen him talk about it and you guys know him better he doesn't really hold much ill will towards them no i don't think so i was with him he did my show at that new york comedy fest in like november and there was some like old dude there and he was like uh would you ever want to host snl and he was

like yeah obviously right and i don't know if that guy actually had like any say in that you thought it might just be like a fan i thought it was just like a conversation they were having but he was like the ratings would be off the charts it would be crazy yeah i mean they're gonna be insane i also think that hosting snl is such a bigger deal than being a cast member where you, the only people that ever get brought back to host from the cast are the greatest cast members of all time. Yeah.

And then... You're hosting, you've made it big enough outside of SNL. Yeah, the comedians who have hosted it are, you know, this year, Nate Bargatze, that episode was incredible. Lucy Kay's done it. Obviously, Louis, Chris Rock, Chappelle. I was thinking, dude, there's a surprising amount of comedians you know this year nate bargatze that episode was incredible uh obviously louis chris rock there's a surprising amount of comedians who haven't hosted it who you would expect

who like are definitely big enough to host it like who like tom segura burke reicher like those guys are fucking huge that's a good thought schultz i wonder if I wonder if I would think Segura would would get the nod to do it you never know why yeah I guess it's true maybe there's some casting director there that maybe maybe he auditioned he auditioned or something like that yeah maybe yeah I feel like though SNL part part of its charm is when it when it isn't a comedian like I feel like a lot of the times it's like you want to see an actor or a musician who is not normal, who's not going to be as good at it, be like a fish out of water in the sea. Yes. Yeah, but that was good when it was good.

Right. Now it's just, now there's people who can be funny and make it funny. It's just really bad when there's not a comedian. Like when they have Elon Musk on, it's like, what the fuck is this, dude? Yeah. Like when they have Elon Musk on, it's like, what the fuck is this, dude? Yeah. But also the opening monologue, when a comic preps a monologue to just do for SNL, that to me is amazing.

Oh, I mean, Louis C.K.'s one about like the pedophile one. Yeah. It must be so good. It must be like a Mounds bar. Yeah. If I were going to prison for the rest of my life, I would eating mounds bars yeah how many times has louis hosted it at least three four yeah that's crazy yeah did chapelle host it this season that was this season he that was his second time yeah he's done it second time ever yeah oh wow i thought he's done it more

no he probably turned it down a lot of times yeah he just wanted he had to get get some trans hate off of his chest this this time you know in fairness to snl the hosts they book they don't seem to be super worried about now woke hosts or yeah pissing people up bill burr came on and did his monologue about you know white women yeah throwing their gucci booted feet over the fence of oppression and jumping the line uh and that pissed a lot of people off but they they it was great yeah that was huge people hated that yeah you see uh yeah you saw joe lists comment yeah arrive from new york yeah yeah imagine he just jingles just went up there and like riffed on asians for 10 minutes yeah i mean

i wonder what he is gonna do i don't think he'll i don't think he'll do anything like that that would be awesome though he'll definitely acknowledge like getting fired yeah i think you have to yeah yeah yeah yeah but yeah the he might lay low on the asian jokes he probably won't do any they should they should do they should do a sketch with who's the guy oh and yang yeah yeah like that like if you fully lean into it like i feel like that yeah it's it's interesting i wonder if shane is going to take take material that he's been working on and incorporate some of that into his monologue. Or if he's writing an entirely new, you know, seven minutes. What would you do?

I don't think I have the ability or talent to write seven brand new minutes. Is it seven? I thought it was ten minutes. It varies. Yeah, I've seen people, like, I feel like when Trump did it, it was like four. Yeah, because then I rewatched that Norm one that everyone was posting when he got fired and he came back and his was like three minutes long, but it was hilarious. Yeah.

It was so funny. Have you ever seen that? I think so. When he's like, uh, when he says, he's like, I haven't gotten funnier. The show's just gotten really bad. It's so funny. And then he says something else in the beginning. He goes, I used to work here,

and then I had a big disagreement with the management over at NBC. I wanted to keep my job, and they felt the exact opposite way. That does sound familiar. That's good. Yeah. Did you guys watch the grammys no not no i got uh i got black out drunk at a brunch yesterday wait i just i can't be doing that on a sunday afternoon anymore i thought you were joking that's great i went to brunch with friends. You got blacked out? I mean, not like browned out. It was a bottomless brunch, and I didn't like the hostess's attitude. And I said, I'm going to make these people pay. I'm going to take advantage.

It was like a few of us got there. They want to give us the table until everybody sat down. She was being very rude. She just started walking to the table, and I was like we are we following you and she was like yes and then she was saying it's only 90 minutes of bottomless even though online it said two hours so i was i went in there with a purpose where i said you're like i'm making i'm gonna make these people pay like if i'm if i'm paying 35 for 90 minutes of bottomless drinks uh 35 for 90 minutes is like super cheap i feel like where was it was a great deal and i made them pay where was this uh agave and uh oh yeah that and you were just you were just drinking mimosas mimosas straw frozen strawberry margaritas the margaritas are the ones to drink there are

those part of the bottom was yeah frozen strawberry margaritas that's so much sugar no wonder did you feel really ill uh yeah i mean i had a very bad headache last night you're definitely a no i didn't you're a hungover puker i would have puked from that i came close my roommate uh puked all over our apartment damn so you guys had a fucking day no it was six of us and we made them we made them pay we would took we took breaks i don't think it's a minute shit if we would be like you know everybody take a minute no talking no eating just drink you don't think they have it figured out and not there's no way you guys were leaving and they're like well we're now we're fucked it was a principle

my one friend my one never saw that coming yeah they drank my one friend claims that we got a borderline like asked to leave in a way of like he one of my friends wanted to cut us we cut my friend's straw in half with a knife to get a smaller straw and one of my friends started bleeding and i think the people like one of the guys said like i think you guys i think you guys are good right now i think you've had a lot to drink and we're not really a rowdy group at all which i know sounds definitely sounds uh hard to believe given this story. I very rarely get that drunk, especially with that group. And it was really just a principle thing. Dude, that's a day ruiner.

We wanted to go see Tribeca and we just couldn't make it. Go see? Go see Tribeca? My one friend. My one friend who is from Long Island with me. Have you heard Tribeca's doing a showing right now this is how it's one of their best uh displays of the year he's from new york he's lived in new york for you know five years and he's moving out soon him and his wife are buying a house

and this was like in june maybe i was like what's on your bucket list what's on your back and he said i gotta go see tribeca oh man's not even, it's not far away. No, I know. It's insane he hasn't been to Tribeca. I would say that about like the Statue of Liberty or an aquarium. He keeps talking about the cobblestones. And I say there's a lot of cobblestones across all of New York City. In Soho.

Dude, has he ever left New York? Yeah, but he just has not made his way to Tribeca. That's like, to have that on your bucket list, I feel like is the most long island thing ever. And he lives on the Upper East Side. He lives in Manhattan. He went to school in Manhattan for four years. He just hasn't made his way to Tribeca. So is this like a bachelor party?

No. It was just, ooh, stomach's growling. It was four guys, two girls. And we made that place pay and then we tried to go to Tribeca and we just couldn't make it. Why couldn't you? What happened?

We were just too drunk to walk down to Tribeca. We had to stop at my apartment. My roommate threw up everywhere. I threw a thing of ranch dressing at my friend and it was very out of character. It was very out of character.

I'd like to get drunk with you. I'd like to see that. I mean, brunch is a special type of drunk. It'd be out of character. I'd like to get drunk with you. I'd like to see that. I mean, brunch is a special type of drunk. It'd be fun. And my God, do I get horny. I was going to say, I'm surprised that you got so drunk because I know you to kind of keep your wits about you so that you can go on the hunt. Yeah, but I wasn't fucking a Sunday at 4 p.m. I'm not, you know, there's no stray cats.

Don't you not fuck on Sundays? Isn't that like a rule that you have? I try. I try to. No, I don't masturbate on Sundays because keep the Lord's Day holy. I don't go to church, so I don't like to masturbate on Sundays. That's crazy. Sundays is probably my biggest crank off day.

I mean, I. Wake up with nothing to do. I should. Three times in an hour. I've amended it to unless I really want to. Okay. No jerking off on Sundays. So pretty much every time. Unless it absolutely overcomes me. Who's jerking off who's like, I don't want to do this at all. sundays so pretty much every time unless it absolutely

over jerking off who's like i don't want to do this at all oh there's plenty of fucking chore most of the time it's a chore oh this is a time i feel like i just get your libido check this out of me i feel like yeah that it's but when it's a treat oh my god but you were hung over today no i wasn't hung over today i got hung over last night so i didn't even have to be hungover today. No, I wasn't hungover today. I got hungover last night. So I didn't even have to be hungover today. That's a pretty good thing. That's a good idea. I fell asleep at like 5 p.m., woke up at like 10, the splitting headache. That's disorienting, though.

Yes. What time did you get back to sleep? Midnight, 1 a.m. That's not so bad. Maybe. But I think I woke up at like 5 for a couple hours. So I've had a lot of sleep. I don't feel hungover at all today.

I got that out of the way. But my God, did I make that fucking place pay? Yeah. Yeah, I don't think you did at all though. Absolutely. You think they're like thinking about it still? It's a war. You sit down for bottomless brunch, it's a war with the waiter.

It's how often can you get a refill of your drink. Do you do that thing that they do in the Wolf of Wall Street where you say, bring me two? I'm going to order my second one right now. So we got pitchers. He was giving pitchers. Pitchers of what? Mimosas right now pictures he was giving pictures yeah so pictures of what mimosas mimosas frozen strawberry strawberry strawberry margs yeah i like my frozen strawberry mark with a floater on top explain well you know they'll it i find it very it's very sweet and if you get the if you pour a cup ever go to like a beach bar yeah get a pina colada you never have like a rum floater on top i don't think so is that just like a shot on top of it

pour a shot on top then you kind of mix it in what do you have the floater of whatever the spirit is the floater is the alcohol itself yeah gotcha but it it makes basically it makes your drink a double. Huh. No, I don't think I did that. I like doing that. That really, that'll send you on your way. There, did I get you horny? No.

Dude, the way that you keep saying that is making me so uncomfortable. There's a thing with brunch is a horny thing. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Especially when you're with all dudes. You've never seen those meetings. Dining experience. Dude, you need to be put on some sort of watch list. is the horniest meal of the day by far i think probably like meals don't

really make me horny they make me full and want to be left alone well that's the beauty of brunch is that it's so you're in your apartment at 5 p.m on a sunday you're just throwing up you have a full just telling myself i can't throwing ranch all over the apartment yeah being like you can't masturbate yeah that's fucking crazy what are you gonna do who's a crazy sunday fun day all right so that sounds awful the sass and roan have a policy on this podcast that you have to be honest when asked a question okay now when was the last time you hooked up well you had sexual intercourse uh probably about a few weeks ago a month ago maybe no i don't believe you i swear you think it was longer no i think it was more recent no i don't uh i don't fuck i'm not a big january fucker it's probably my it's probably my

least uh my least fucked month for sure is January April I go insane April I go absolutely bananas I don't get this at all this is crazy January like I have seasonal depression right now you know just vibes are bad I absolutely do I promise you you don't have seasonal depression yes I've been feeling very lethargic and out of it

and unmotivated so I can't get it up to fuck you don't believe in someone who's less depressed than you I have a couple buddies like that who just wake up happy every day seriously January and then last May I was very depressed and I was looking for a new apartment that just made me depressed for some

reason but yeah January no no no this honestly might have been this could have been the first January I fucked or maybe last year where I really do not do well in January. Interesting. That's good. Do you know that he's like the Kingslayer? He's like the biggest coxswain at the company? That's completely true.

Him and Glennie. Glennie fucks a lot, too. That's crazy. We're charming. That's crazy. We're charming. That's because you guys show up with your fucking Team Portnoy gear on. And you're like, oh.

Team Portnoy says, learn your barstool, baby. Are you guys finding a lot of women that like you and know you from barstool? Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. They're not just like, who's this hot guy? Yeah, but at some point, wouldn't you trust that you've developed... They only go to like Factory 380

and fucking Blue Haven or whatever it's called. They go to barstool bars. No, I like to go to Little Sister, the nightclub. And they're like, oh, where'd we get this? Just HQ3 down the street. No, that's when we go on like storm chasers. And they're just like, bars are like,

Texas A&M welcomes Glenny Balls and Tommy Spokes to campus. They literally had that on like a movie theater sign outside a bar. And we're like, I guess we'll stop by here tonight. I guess we'll stop in this bar if there are any bars nearby they put this sign up there's one with our faces cemented over the room do you girls know who those guys are what's that sign about i thought it said something else it's me who the fuck's face is that on the flag hanging above the fucking bar do you go to the barstool bars the actual barstool bars i've been to the nashville drive they'll drive to a barstool bar from new york now i i have actually i'm dying to get to the philly one i hear the philly one is

is incredible a lot of talent over there i've been to the nashville one the nashville one's a lot of fun i'm going to nashville uh in I think. No, maybe it's March. Excuse me. And I'll check out that Nashville bar. I'm performing at Zany's for three nights. It's got a great location, too.

It's like right, basically. I think it's pretty close to Zany's. Is that right? I think so. Is Zany's on Broadway? No. No.

But it's close to Broadway. The Barstool Bar's on Broadway? It's like just off of Broadway. Wow. Like half a block. Nashville's so fun. It's great. Zany's is such a good club. I liked Nashville

way more than I expected to like Nashville. Yeah, me too. That's a city that I should hate. Yeah, everything about you says you would hate it. You can stay away from the mayhem and there's some great stuff to do. Usually I embrace the mayhem though. Usually that's the city that I go to where I'm like,

I'm getting fucking hammered this weekend. Interesting. So I don't know what I would do if I went back. You must be like 70 days sober now. 75, I think. Wow. Actually? Yeah.

Why? Alcoholism. Do you feel better? No, not at all. Worse, maybe. So then I'm definitely not going to stop drinking. I was thinking about that. Takes 90 days to really feel it it for it to really kick in

yeah so really we're just like you're drinking too much you want to i'm a couple months off of weed yeah yeah well i guess i i i will do it once a week but now it's been three weeks since i even did it once a week yeah but i went from being a nightly weed guy to... Yeah, yeah. I remember when we went to San Fran together and you fucking bought out the entire weed store that we went to. Yeah. Unfortunately, I still have all that.

Now it's starting to rot. I've never seen someone buy more weed. Little did I know that I was... Like thousands of dollars of weed. I was supplying a year of sobriety. I mean, it always seems to be the way. You just have this massive surplus. So now I'm looking for some kids

to sell it to. Yeah. It's good shit. Turns out kids are all... That's the other thing. There was an article I read the other day. First of all,

young kids are not drinking or smoking or doing... Oh, because they're all like super religious now. That's like the wave. Young kids are super religious? The kids are getting really into God. What?

Really? I actually thought there was a movement... Influencers are like... I feel like it's the wave young kids are super really into god what really i actually thought there was a movement influencers are like i feel like it's the exact opposite so do i i think secularization is growing yeah among the younger ranks they don't even get a godless country i feel like the the little kids now we're all like all i do is lift weights and hate women and go to church so that's like a specific type of like andrew tate listening guy yeah but i think that's what a lot of the kids are listening to these days. Dude, the other thing that they're doing is they're going to bed earlier. Yeah, that's all part of the Andrew Tate thing.

There was an article in the Wall Street Journal about like freshmen on college campuses, like they're trying to go to bed at 9 p.m., 9.30. I wish I – I want to start trying to go to bed earlier. No, I don't like that. I don't get that i don't get that at all it's you're not you're not it's not like that whole thing where it's like oh i go to bed at 7 p.m and i wake up at 2 in the morning it's like dude you're still up the same amount of hours of the day as i am you're just missing out on the entire night i just like i like the

little secret underworld that people who wake up early seem to have i i do this people who like are up at like 6 a.m and it's like they it seems like they have their own little thing i like this you can work out you can work out 4 a.m you can work out in the morning and it's done yeah and then you're just tired the rest of the day no way dude so you're tired at nine oh that's terrible 9 p.m nine is when i'm really waking up what if it's the weekend day starting for me i just i need more energy i need something to give me more i think you should try this way maybe stop fucking getting blackout drunk well that was that was a mistake maybe stop nutting in so many chicks you don't know i i it's been a few weeks it's again i mean

yeah tell me in april sure so save your seed friend maybe that's why you're depressed is you're not fucking enough no i think it's i think i'm not fucked because it's like i have no i have no sex drive right now yeah except for sundays at noon well i mean that was brunch that's got to be tough to pick up girls it's sunday at sunday at noon yeah and when you can't pick up girls and you can't jerk off you're really between a rock and a hard place no pun intended what is that why can't you jerk off because it's sunday yeah so i can no longer go to brunch on sundays that's what i've realized. Well, that is a dumb day to go to brunch. Shouldn't you be going on Saturdays? Yeah, but just a couple.

I thought Sunday was like a universal brunch day. It probably is. Sunday is definitely a brunch day. But if you're doing a really boozy brunch, I'd rather do it on a Saturday. Yeah, no, that would have been the right move. Dude, that's never. I've done the brunch. It's never worked for me.

In terms of what? Like, it always just fucks my entire day up. Oh, a very girly new york city dumb tradition no no i've gone to like me and mook have gone to brunch like on the road together yeah and then it's just it just ends up me sitting in my bed the entire day until the shows and then being like anxious as fuck on stage well that i mean you shouldn't do brunch when like you have an obligation that night i guess yeah that's that is a good point why don't you just go why don't you just go and not not drink because i love breakfast at that

point for sure yeah i love brunch food do you go with the bra or the unch what do you go with the bra or the unch i always go with the unch i never go with i always go with the unch i never go with the bro oh i see what you're saying um i go with the bro yeah i don't get it i need eggies at uh at brunch i get a big old cheeseburger and fries it's really not brunch maybe that's why you're going back to the 2 p.m hotel and not being able to move yeah probably i got uh i got steak and eggs yesterday real good that's nice and it was not an easy decision. I was deciding between like five different things. My problem is that I'll do something like that,

and then I'll say, let's order the ricotta French toast to split, and then I make sure they bring it out when the rest of the people on the table are in the bathroom, and I eat it. Francis eats a lot of food. You have a real gorging, sugar gorging.

Yeah, I have a problem francis goes to get food and he'll order more food than the fucking dude in seven eight so actually now i might be on your side if you that wouldn't be the worst oh full circle moment we ordered 40 oysters and i was like i thought we were splitting them and he was like, on the total opposite side of that. He was like, you didn't want any? And I was like, I thought the 40 was to split.

And he was like, no, these are all for me. He let me have like one oyster. No, that's not true. That's not true. I've never seen someone eat that many oysters. I do agree though. If I'm ordering food,

I want to know if people are splitting it. Like I want to know, like I don't want, like if they're i don't like the implication that i have to split my meal just because it's a shareable meal oysters i feel like fall into that but 40 oysters is an absurd amount of oyster i don't think it was 40 it might have been 24 or maybe 36 i know i think i drank a few glasses of shabby i'm i'm pretty sure it was 40 i mean dude it was like it was like that's not even a that's a ridiculous number it would either be 12 24 36 or 48 48 or some it might have been 48 48 come on you had the type of

you had the plate of oysters that like my family would get when all of our extended family came over for like for like christmas eve yeah yeah this is this it was like the fucking metal boat with the ice in it neither of you guys will relate to this but we don't know that when you're married okay yeah we will uh and you are used to paying for dinner or meals when i get to eat alone or with friends i feel like i'm getting the food half off and i want to maximize my value you mean because you're paying for your wife every time you go to dinner yes gotcha so i just want to i just want to it's the knowing that i only have to pay for one person makes me want to really take advantage of that because i can for the

same price that i'm used to paying for any time we go out to dinner I get twice the amount of food and I do it that way. It's not about saving the money. It's about getting more food. Interesting. Right. You're spending the same amount of money. You're eating more food. There's no discussion. I've always wondered that with like long I just got to pay for everything because I'm the man?

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I don't know if it's so much swamp ass. I use swamp ass as a term, I think, incorrectly. Yes, because that was not at all where you were. I just refer to any discomfort down there as swamp ass. I will say a bidet would definitely help with swamp ass. Get a little cool water down there. Tommy, you can get that fresh out of the shower feeling that you like at hello tushy.com for a limited time our listeners get 10 off your entire order when you use code boy dad at checkout that's 10 off your order at h-e-l-l-o-T-U-S-H-Y.com with your promo code BOYDAD.

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I can't believe you guys didn't watch the Grammys I watched the whole thing who gives a shit Trevor Noah the future of comedy I don't know why he's not hosting SNL on the 24th that guy is it he got the it factor

I'm surprised he hasn't hosted SNL I actually am very surprised has he? I feel like he has to have dude there was a really weird there was a really weird bit in uh where they they talked to ziggy marley and it was like trevor noah and he was like i have such a hard time understanding if he did if anyone else did this or if they did it to a different person that had a different accent this would have been like on the fucking this would have been on the like headlines of news today it was like i have such a hard time understanding that deep jamaican accent and he

was like are you excited for the movie about your father and he was like bing bop and then he was like i don't understand what you're saying. And the crowd's like howling. And I'm like, you guys are just making fun of this dude's fucking. You're making fun of all of Jamaica's voice. It was crazy. It was wild. Yeah, I guess it only works because Trevor Noah also has that accent. No, he doesn't.

No, he doesn't. He's from South Africa. He has one accent. He speaks like a black foreigner. Is that what you're saying? Not that. I didn't mean that accent. I speaks like a black foreigner? Is that what you're saying? Not that. I didn't mean that accent. I meant like he's got that accent

that he has. Imagine if they did that with like a Japanese dude. No one understands you. I know Trevor Noah is not Jamaican. I need that on the record. Is that not fucking insane? Is that not crazy?

I'd have to see it. To like in front of like an arena of celebrities be like we don't know what you're saying because your voice is so fucking weird you've gone soft sass i don't know no i mean i was howling laughing at how fucking crazy it was it is surprising that based on your rendition of this that that happened dude that's like my for word what happened. My mom loved Trevor Noah. She texted me about it. I read his book, Born a Crime. Some of it's pretty insane. He watched his mom get

shot in the head by her boyfriend. My mom said, I love Trevor Noah. He's funny and a great host. Must mean he sucked. He's pretty handsome. If you're doing humor for mothers, you're not for me. It is crazy, dude. They just bomb the whole night. They just have to bomb the entire time.

No one is paying attention to them. I'm trying to think of the last award show that I either watched or had a host whom I thought was very funny. I guess you go back to what, Ricky Gervais? But that was funny for us

and not for the audience. Jay-Z was funny. I think the audience is so robotic, like LA superstar, they don't give a fuck about... They're only paying attention, like, is the camera on me right now? I'd love to be at one of those award shows one day. Taylor Swift. As a nominee. We watched...

Ball hog. We turned it on for one minute and Olivia... She was ball hogging. Rodrigo was performing and Taylor swift was standing up and dancing and everyone else was sitting down yeah and she's already about six feet tall oh yeah down in front yeah sit the fuck down she was ball hogging the camera she was ball dude she brought lana del rey on stage this was wild i had jaw to the floor. I kind of tapped into my inner gay last night because I was on Twitter looking up shit. Being like, dude, she left no crumbs last night.

Sucked cunt. Dude, they were doing an album of the year. And it was like Lana Del Rey, Taylor Swift, Liv Rodrigoo billy eilish like all of the people that you would expect and uh taylor swift won yes and she brought lana del rey on stage with her like out of like i think it was like something that she had as an idea to begin with and then like it just progressively got more awkward as they approached the stage because lana del rey was clearly like where the fuck am i going on stage with you to accept this award? It's like holding up a trophy,

like a deer that you just killed. I beat her. Yeah. And then she called her a legacy artist. And it was like, oh. The other three must... She called her an old bitch. The other losers must have been like, why the fuck wasn't I brought up there? Dude, it was crazy. You can't just bring up one of the losers.

Yeah, she was like and i know none of us none of us would be here without lana del rey she's paved the way for all of us she's a lana del rey lana del rey is pretty big i do like she is a fordham grad yeah yeah part of fordham um that's weird i i feel like taylor swift has been on such a run that she's probably under the impression she can do no wrong. And there's no reason for her not to think that. And it would be funny to see her do something so wrong that there was just a collective galactic record skip. And everyone was just like, ooh, what if she just came out in blackface? At the Super Bowl?

At the Super Bowl. And everyone was like, I think people would spin it. Yeah. I think people would be like blackface is back. For sure. Yeah.

Like she's embracing black culture. That would be unreal. Do you have a problem with being black? Or like, why are you not doing blackface? Yeah. Everyone's doing it nowadays.

She's drawing attention to the horrors of blackface. Right. Right. Like anything she does, I people would would find a way to i don't know dude did you see how olivia rodrigo claps no she's got like a show referencing moments in this show and we've clarified that we didn't watch it she's got like artist of the year blah blah blah you guys know the usual suspects i was like well mean, those are the usual suspects. They've all won like a hundred Grammys. I heard people saying it's a girly pop Grammys.

Oh, yeah. It's all girly pops. Isn't Olivia Rodrigo 19 or something? Yeah, but she's an industry plant. She's won an award like every year. I would love to be an industry plant. How do you get that gig? How deep in this Grammy game you are.

Oh, dude, this isn't even deep. This is like surface level shit. Olivia Rodrigo claps like this. how deep in this Grammy game you are. Oh, dude, this isn't even, this isn't deep. This is like surface level shit. Olivia Rodrigo claps like this. She goes, and every time they show the camera. That's how I clap for our, to summon our hard of hearing dog.

Yeah, it looks like she looked up. So you can see that I want him to come. Come. Yeah, that's, dude, it was crazy. Like, it looks like she was paralyzed clapping she was a covered blood for her performance that's yeah it was a little weird that was odd when it was like she had like the blood like dripping down her wrists she's good though i do think she's good yeah yeah as a as a singer i think she's decent a good voice i suppose she does something what's

the deal with billy eilish and her brother? That doesn't sit. That's never sat right with me. Totally fucking. Whatever they have going on. Phineas. Yeah. Phineas Eilish. It doesn't sit right with me. Dude, people have been saying that for years.

That they're fucking? Dude, he writes all of her music. I know. So like he's writing songs about like. And then her music is like sexual, like I'm going to fuck your dad. Or he's writing songs about like her getting her heart broken. I'm gonna fuck your dad or he's writing songs about her getting her heart broken which is even weird he's sitting in his fucking room on his laptop

his name's Phineas? yeah Billy you gotta come in here and check out this track I might fuck your dad yeah I'm the kind of I'm the kind of bitch who might fuck your dad this is some heat billy i can't wait to hear your voice on this yeah i need to hear your voice on this track baby that's got to be weird imagine if your fucking sibling pulled you in and was like

i see you on like i wrote this song for you to sing yeah and it's about fucking a dad tough pitch yeah i'll be like what the i'll be like don't even look me in the eyes ever again but she likes it she digs it yeah no shit dude she's made like 200 million dollars from it he's printing money for yeah oh are we boring you no sorry i'm a little tired okay then oh did you go to a boozy brunch and make the place fucking pay why am i tired i drank a lot of red wine on saturday oh my god an old woman tried to hook up with me whoa holy hoochie mama an old woman tell us tell us more older woman just a random older woman and i don't i'm not even saying she was flirting with me she was trying to hook up with me.

Yeah, let's throw an age on that. This woman was not attractive. This is not a brag. If you'd seen her, you would have said, oh, that's not a brag. How old? 60? I had this happen to me. What went down?

I want to hear. She was rubbing my back. Yeah. That's how the old women do me. What went down? I want to hear. She was rubbing my back. Yeah. That's how the old women do it. Where were you? And then it was... Each rub would go longer, and then it would be... It started ending with a shoulder squeeze.

I felt like... Wait, I'm confused. How did you get into this situation? Where is this? You're getting rubbed down by this old lady. She was at this place i was at and we i was drinking wine with a buddy a bar and then it was his a woman he knew a friend of his wife's or something at a restaurant and i'm sitting next to her and i would the first first time it

happened i told a joke everyone laughed and she she reached out and rubbed my back, which I guess was some kind of affirmation. Physical touch. It was funny. And then the next time it happened, nothing had happened. So I didn't deserve it. And she just did it. And that's when I was like, that's weird.

She wants to touch you. Did she grab your ass? No. I love getting groped and shit like that. It's just good to feel wanted. Dude, we were at me and Mook last year when we did Buffalo Helium and we went to the Bills game. And we were trying to get home and it was a blizzard and we couldn't get an Uber. There was like three feet of snow on the ground.

And there was this old couple, like really old. And they were like, where are you? Oh, you guys are going to the same hotel we're going to. We should like try and get an Uber together because no one can get Uber. Everyone was like stranded at Orchard Park. And we were like, all right. And they're like, they're like lingering, like right by us. They're hammered, like just like trying to like lingering like right by us they're hammered like just like

trying to like chop it up with us and the lady this like old lady tries to like sit on my lap and i was like what the fuck is this and then i look over and the dude has like his hands like on mook's ass oh my god we got out of there so they were trying to fuck us they were swingers dude they were trying to fuck me and mook mook was like dude his hands were down my pants they were on my ass you're a fuckable funny it was so funny you two are ripe to be like taken by an old duo oh yeah dude and they kept on beat like after that they were like have you guys gotten an uber and we were like we don't think we're gonna go back to the hotel we're gonna go to another bar we were just like making shit up because we were like we're there's no way we're ubering back with you guys oh but at least he

could have got groped. I don't know what was going to go down in that Uber. It would have been amazing. I'd kill to be groped like that. What's the biggest, oldest woman you've ever hooked up with, Tommy? Not older. A few years old. Like 19?

22? Few years older? Fifth year? Fifth year? Hooked up with an 18-year-old once. That was a joke. As in, that's the oldest person Tommy's hooked up with because he's a pedophile.

I don't know how neither of you guys laughed at that. I thought that was gold. I thought I was onto something big there. Dude, so I was in Houston this weekend, and I totally forgot that this happened it was the it was saturday morning and i was like me and mook were gonna go to dave and buster's and we were kind of getting our shit together i took a dump i took a poo in the toilet and the toilet clogged and of course toilet uh hotel bathrooms don't have plungers in

them but it wasn't like a big clog like the shit was down the shit was gone but there was a toilet paper there's some toilet paper resin on the top and i was like oh whatever i was like i don't really give a shit i'll just leave that there and uh assuming that the toilet paper would just kind of like disintegrate and then i would flush it again and it would be fine and so i went back laid in bed for a little bit and then i heard like noise from the bathroom. And I was like, oh, what the fuck is that? And I was like, I'm going to go shower. I go into the bathroom and it's like making the toilets clearly like trying to flush.

You know what I mean? Like it's making that noise, like the hissing noise. Right. But again, I was like, oh, whatever. Not really thinking about it. This will resolve itself. This will resolve itself. So I go, I get in the shower.

Good shower. Good 10 minute shower. Get out of the i get in the shower good shower good 10 minute shower get out of the shower turn the shower off pull the curtain out there's like four inches of water covering the ground the entire hotel room like onto the carpet like my clothes are wet from toilet water shooting out of the toilet not coming from the top coming from the bottom of the toilet like the sides like spraying out so instantly i'm in panic mode and i'm like i try flushing the toilet again just to be like maybe that'll help spraying it dude like there's wakes in the bathroom like every step i take waves are forming in the bathroom i don't know when it happened i don't know how i didn't even notice this happening i'm just showering like nothing's happening so then i i'm freaking out i grab all my shit i call downstairs and i'm like hey uh my

entire hotel room is flooding right now like you guys got to send somebody up and they're like all right well you'll have to come down we'll get you a new room we'll handle it and i was like all right and i'm still like freaking out i don't want to be here when they come up because this is like embarrassing as fuck yeah so i get all my shit together i go to mook's room and i drop my shit in there i go downstairs there's still no one up there and i'm like i go down and i'm like hey i just called i'm like room 332 like it's a real issue in that room there's a real and they're like oh yeah we're gonna send someone up and I'm like I don't think you guys

are understanding what's going on in that bathroom right now I'm like that shit's about to be underwater and they're still just like oh yeah I told them to go up but they take forever and I'm like this isn't a situation where you have forever I'm like you guys are gonna open this door and there's gonna be like a fucking

release of water into the hallway so then they give me my new room and i like went and i changed and then i had to walk by my room as they have like a fucking hose suction cup picking up all of the water just someone took a dump in there so embarrassing having to walk by just these fucking mexican dudes they were siphoning the water. Shuffling up my shit water. Into what? Some sort of machine. Oh.

Yeah. Wow. That makes me feel like it's not their first rodeo. Their calmness in that. No, I think the toilet pressure was very bad because then I shit again and I was very careful. I shit, flush the toilet, wiped, flush the toilet, and then I wiped again and it clogged again. What? I mean.

But it was one thing of toilet paper. So I was like, oh, this is just a shitty hotel. Yeah. What was the hotel? The Crown Plaza. You would think they would have those sort of industrial strength. That's what me and Mook were saying. Toilet flushers.

Yeah, they don't. Hmm damn too bad very rough good shows though ah it was fine i mean it's just a weird it's weird you can't hear anything on stage the last show i did which is weird because it's one of those ones when you get off and you're like that was a fucking nightmare but then you're getting dms and being like dude that was so funny like thanks for coming to houston but i was like i got there was a there was a group of people in the front row at the last show who instantly got in my head and i like could not shake it the entire set and i did like 50 minutes how'd they get in your head it was these two dudes i think they were gay dudes and they kind of had that gay attitude to them where they were like these guys could easily demolish my entire life in one

sentence if they chose to right like point out insecurities that i didn't even know i had and they're so they're sitting there and they're just like like i'm doing like my a shit like my best stuff and they're just sitting there no emotions just being like clearly being like why are we here we don't want to be here and then they're i realize And they're just sitting there, no emotions, just being like, clearly being like, why are we here? We don't want to be here. And then there, I realized that they're paired with this. Oh, I get on stage,

the table next to them. It's this dude and this girl. And you're like high up. The stage is high up. So I'm right on top of them. And the girl leans over to her boyfriend and she's like, why is he wearing a jacket on stage? And then the dude goes,

the dude goes, I don't know. It's so fucking weird. And that's like 30 seconds into my set and i'm just like i i just didn't i just rolled because it clearly didn't address it they didn't know i heard them so i just keep going right it was like a heckle it was which is almost worse it's way worse way worse yeah so at this point i'm just like i'm like my i'm so in my own head but i'm just like, I'm like my, I'm so in my own head, but I'm just delivering the material like in like a, like just like by the fucking script, like how I memorized it. So it's like, I'm not even paying attention to the set.

I'm just like in my head being like, I fucking hate these people so damn much. I've got to get this fucking jacket off. Yeah. And then they were trying to, they were trying to like fuck with me the whole time. And I kind of did a decent job at making them look dumb. But like at one point i'm in the middle of a i'm in the middle of a joke and the dude in the front just goes do a joke about nantucket and i was like what this is one of the gay guys yeah and he's like do you have any

jokes on they do love their nantucket and i was like what are you fucking talking about dude i don't have any jokes about nantucket and then i get to the end of my set and this is when i real this is when i was like seething with anger like my face must have been bright red smoke must have been coming out of my ears and i'm doing a i end my set i have like a 9-11 joke that i do and i do the joke doesn't do well and the fucking dude in the front i think i made a joke being like why do you guys give a fuck we're in houston i was like you i was like we're not it's not like we're like you guys weren't on the fucking hit list like it was it wasn't like bin laden was hiding in his cave being like i'm gonna send one to the pentagon and the twin towers and then a jack

in the box in houston and i but i said that from a place a place of anger i was furious they didn't like that either they hated that and then this dude in the front wearing like a bedazzled cowboy hat was like this is america country or this is patriot country and i was like dude i legitimately want to kick you in the fucking face right now like i i don't know why that annoyed me so much because i was like he was a dude who clearly thinks he's like a cowboy right like he's cost he's playing cowboy for the week this is not the gay guy to be clear he but i he was probably more gay than the gay guy just judging off of that statement that he had this is patriot country i'm like dude we're in a fucking strip mall right now this isn't patriot

country what in a show when you do a show like that on the weekend in houston or whatever random city like what percentage of people in the in that crowd were there to see Little Sasquatch? That one, like maybe 10% of the people were there to see me. Oh, really? It can be that low. And it just sells out because people just want to go to a comedy show. That one didn't even come close to selling out. Well, whatever.

Like other people are there because they just want to see a comedy show. Yeah. But like so if you sell out, if I sell out a show, it'll be a city like Denver where it's like most of the people are going to be there. Probably everyone that's going to me and Francis's shows are there to see me and Francis oh okay they are but then like Houston a slower weekend that's when it's like a lot of walk-ins people are just like oh let's go see a comedy show tonight right and have the worst attitude of all time and make this person's life miserable completely yeah that's why and I feel like I've talked about this when I've come on here before i always go through this so i want to try stand up i want to try stand up and then i hear a story

like that and it i mean i talked about aiming to please people if i said one joke that didn't get a laugh i'd quit forever i'd hang them i hang up the cleats forever but it's weird because then you get off and then like people are coming up to me after being like dude really funny stuff so it's like i i think it's just the crowds down there are weird i would say it can go either way tommy where i've had shows where there was not a single person in the audience who bought a ticket with any idea who the fuck i was and that's sometimes that's not great but that means that they're often comedy fans these are people who come to the club on a regular basis it's like people who would go to a movie theater let's go see a movie we don't even

you know we're not making an this is the club in town saturday night we're going and if you're good they're fair yeah and you know where the prime example of that would be, I think, is Providence. The Providence Comedy Club, the Comedy Connection. Oh, yeah. It fills up. They fill, you know, even if you're not a huge draw, they'll fill it. And it's people in their 40s and 50s who are ready to laugh. And I've had some of my best shows ever there.

Even though I didn't have like Francis fans or that many who were kind of like driving the show or saying, we like this sense of humor from this guy. Yeah, it's definitely a, it's like that a good amount on the road. At least like the Saturday early show is always people that aren't there to see you, for me at least like the saturday early show is always people that aren't there to see you for me at least because the saturday early show sells out at most places regardless because that's like the most popular time to go see a comedy show and it's usually good it's usually fun like i like doing comedy for people that aren't that don't know who i am because then when you do good i was gonna say i feel like that would be preferred like i think that like well it's easy to do it for your fans they're gonna laugh at anything you say and then yeah but they also have have a certain expectation of you or maybe what your humor is going to be. Oh, yeah, definitely.

And they like to yell shit out. Right. That doesn't make any sense. They would probably feel more comfortable yelling, heckling you. Yeah, there was one of the shows this weekend. There was a – Mook was hosting and some dude just goes, Jerry after dark. All right, dude. Right.

That's not easy to riff on. No, it's just like how are you looking around right now you're not seeing the fucking 600 pound 90 year olds here who are like yeah they're definitely big jerry after dark fans that's gonna play for the whole crowd like what do you think i'm gonna riff on the fucking like jerry's hole in one thing no one would understand what i was talking about yeah so it's like it's shit like that is annoying but uh people yell harvard yeah when i'm on stage i'm like come on now i don't really get that as much as i used to when i first started it was like constant i'd be at like the stand and i'd be doing a show and it's like when you do shows in new york

it's usually people that are just there to see a comedy show it's very rarely the whole like there's it's never a time where the whole crowd's there to see you i remember i was doing a set at the stand and some dude in the front row just goes kb is gonna have that and i had to be like dude no one in here knows what you're talking about i'm like that's just for me and you right i've had people one bite everybody knows the rules i'm like that's not me i just work for that guy yeah but it does feel really good when you get off and you do well in front of a crowd like that. Because then it's like, oh, that was actually funny. It wasn't just funny for my crowd. Right.

Like those are just people that just appreciate comedy. Yeah. You should do some stand up. I've said it. I'll try it eventually. Show me a good open mic to hit maybe around here. Too many chicks to bang before you get to that? No, it's everything that you guys just talked about is that is the turnoff like going up there and

having people be like oh tommy smokes but it's also it's usually not as bad as you think it's also i wasn't actually bombing like i've bombed i kind of bomb a couple months ago at the stand like a bomb bomb now like you get off and you're like you're sweating more than you would if you just ran three miles like you did poorly or the crowd just didn't fuck with it the crowd it was like it was a very light crowd and it's just they just like it was probably like 15 people in the room and it's just like as soon as you get up you're like this is gonna be really fucking bad and it's just dude i remember like putting my hand on my back and feeling my back and it was just like a pool of sweat like so and then i

remember dan lamorte going up after me and him coming off stage and he's just he's like he's like dude that was fucking awful so that shit sucks but like when you're i mean dude you're when you're doing 50 minutes it's not gonna you're it's not like you're actually not getting a laugh for 50 minutes right hell that would be crazy you're doing a spot in New York. You're mainly doing what? Five, 10 minutes? No, it's like 15. 15.

But that's later. That's like when you start getting past at clubs. Early on. Yeah, if you did open mics, it would be like three to five. Early on, it's five minutes. Gotcha. Yeah. All right.

Yeah, I think that was good. Anything else that we didn't touch? Anything else we want to squeeze the juice on? Super Bowl? I don't really have squeeze the juice on? Super Bowl? I don't really have much to say about the Super Bowl. The only thing I had to bring to today was whether or not you should sing happy birthday when a non-jacent table. It's the first thing I brought up. I burned it pretty early.

I burned it early. We touched on that nice and early. I fuck the most in April. I fuck the least in January. Why April? Is that sundress season? Are we there? There's just something about April.

Something about the sundress. It's why my birthday is in April. Maybe it revs me up. Oh, yeah. When's your birthday? Late April. April 29th. Yours is April 5th?

Yes. Oh, that's fun. I don't know when yours is. March 26th. Oh, nice. Right near you. Consider that committed to me. And Rome is what? April 25th. Yours is April 5th. Yes. That's fun. I don't know when yours is. March 26th. Oh, nice. Right near you. Consider that committed to me. April 25th. Yeah. Wow.

That's a son of a boy, dad. And those are people's birthdays. You can see Tommy Smokes all over the place. Go see them in Denver. Yeah, come see us in Denver this weekend and then come see us in Albany next weekend. Those are actually almost sold out, too. Yeah, those are doing well. Yeah, come see us in Denver this weekend. And then come see us in Albany next weekend. Those are actually almost sold out, too.

Yeah, those are doing well. Yeah. Tickets at FrancisEllis.com. Stop by the Texas Roadhouse, and you'll see them there. Yeah. Having a steak. We may do. I will be, at least.

Unless we're feasting on some trout for dinner. A little trout. A little trout. A couple rainbows. Yeah. They called it shadow casting. All right. Thank you guys for listening.

We'll see you on wednesday yeah