Son of a Boy Dad - Cows Need Friends Too - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 86

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

Daylight Savings is coming up and there is a darkness on the horizon. Sas is looking for an NYC studio apartment with a pool table, chics are used for chicken nuggets, and there's nothing better than a highland cow. We are working on getting our own Super Bowl ad, Sas is generous with his money to the homeless community, and the Phillies might win the damn thing this year. Enjoy.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. It is Tuesday. It is November 1st.

I can't believe it's November. I can't believe that time has been going at this rate for my entire life. I know. It's really flying by. It's getting dark out again. Taking the sun from us on Sunday, I believe. Which do you think is worse, when it gets dark

or when it gets cold? Which one bothers you more about the wintertime? The darkness for sure. The darkness bothers me. It was actually kind of nice out today. It was tickling 60 today. When we get out of this, it's going to be pitch black out. It'll be pitch black and like negative 40 degrees. Yeah, it's such a bummer.

It's going to be an Eskimo winter walking out of here. Any winter that I don't kill myself is a victory. Of course, dude. It's like that was, I did good. Yeah, if we were putting odds in a sports book, you're plus money to kill yourself every year and somehow you defy the odds a true underdog story sass being alive i don't know why i just get so much more bored in the dark like when it's dark out like it like at 7 p.m i'm like dude i'm fucking so bored yeah because it just feels like you should be like going out or doing something but you just have

to get inside. Get from your job to inside, dude. Yeah. Around this time of year, my veins start looking so fucking thick with blood, dude. It almost looks like they're overfilled with blood. Like I just want to spill it out all over the streets. I can't say I relate to that one too much. Okay. Maybe that's just me.

Can't say I'm really on board with that, but I might want to get that checked out. I don't know if the sun going down means your blood starts getting thicker. I just meant that I'm going to cut my wrists at this time of year. Oh, I see. But if you haven't thought about- A little more graphic than I was going for. If you haven't thought about how you want to kill yourself, you know what I mean? That's on you.

No. Just kidding. We're all just kidding. Just fucking joking out here. Jesus Christ. Dude, I feel like i haven't uh talked to you uh in like a couple minutes dude yeah since like right before the show started it's been like 30 minutes minute dude what's good something together yeah what what are you doing that

in that time frame i saw you like laughed at something at your computer kind of giggled to yourself i was like damn inside jokes, I'm actually pretty tired today. It's been a pretty long day. Except it hasn't been long. I just couldn't fall asleep last night. Didn't go to bed until around 3.30 in the morning. What were you fucking watching? I wasn't watching anything.

I was just tossing and turning all night. When did you shut lights off? Probably around 10 p.m. Dude, what you should have done was furiously masturbate. A good five hours of tossing. Did you furiously masturbate at all or not? No, I don't do that anymore. Damn, well, maybe that was...

Not until the sun comes back. You're like a bear. Yeah. And also, yeah, my favorite bear account on Twitter. I saw that. Declared they're no longer posting bears. I saw that you were bummed about that. Yeah, I kind of put a damper on the night for me.

You were acting like you were joking about that. I think you were actually depressed by that. Yeah, I kind of put a damper on the night for me. You were acting like you were joking about that. I think you were actually depressed by that. Oh, I was dead serious. What kind of shit did they post? Because I didn't even get to their account until after they... It's like when someone dies. They deleted it? No, I just saw their account once they said they'd stopped posting.

And they're like one final post of a bear falling asleep. That one was pretty depressing, huh? It was cute. Brought a tear to my eye. And the seasonal depression is really i know i'm gonna have to up my soul loft dosage soon what do you think the cutest animals are bears yeah bears definitely are up there or highland cows it's one of the two easily what's a highland cow they're the furry, yeah. Those aren't cute as fuck, dude. They all have good ass names like Molly and Daisy and shit like that.

They always have nice names. They always have nice aura about them. Yeah. Tuck, dude. Yeah. You could... Yeah. They'll fucking suck on your hand and shit like that. They always do have really good names.

I still can't figure out how much a cow would cost, dude. I'm trying to... We were talking about how much a horse would cost. Dude, how much was, I was thinking about gifting somebody a cow. I'd imagine they're probably about like, maybe like 800 to a thousand. For a cow? If I had to guess, maybe more. I feel like that's not that bad.

How much space do you need to have to have a cow? It probably depends on the cow. Probably a lot. Really? Highland cows are more just for the looks too. Maybe milk. You can get some. You don't kill a highland cow.

Some people do, but you're a sick person if you do that. Are they more delicious? Apparently. Yeah? Yeah, apparently they are. Why? Apparently people kill them and they are very good. The more beautiful an animal is?

Great marble on the steaks. Yeah? Yeah. Are they from the highlands? Is it maybe because they're eating better grass or some shit like that? Probably. Yes, they are from the highlands. Damn, dude. I never even thought about a highland cow but i have seen them they're usually probably eating one i would love to i wouldn't why i'm off the steaks why you're because you're getting you're watching too many cow

accounts yeah i'm i'm strictly a chicken guy now because they're dumb as fuck yeah i don't because they're dumb and ugly i would kill a chicken myself with my bare hands and feel no remorse. I thought you hadn't been choking chickens recently. You are? You're back in the game? That's sick. Yeah. But I feel like that's how they do it.

I feel like that's how they get chickens. People like kill them with their hands. Yeah, they do. Don't they like just like pop them like a belt? They just rip their necks in half. Yeah. I feel like that's fucked up. I feel like that's barbaric.

It's pretty humane, honestly. I guess if we're eating them. It could be worse. Yeah, I guess if we're eating them, that's fucked up i feel like that's barbaric it's pretty humane honestly i guess if we're eating worse yeah i guess if we're eating them that's the way that they gotta go yeah but chickens are easy as fuck to imagine yourself eating it's hard to uh maybe a baby chicken but you're not really eating baby chickens like a chick i'm saying baby chickens are cute like a but a right like a chicken like walking around like popping his neck with his eyes all bulging yeah they're pretty gross That shit is not endearing. It's like we should be eating chicken nuggets. You know they use chicks for chicken nuggets?

That's not true. Yeah. That's not true. It's just they just get one chicken nugget out of each chick. It's very weird. Shut the fuck up. They just shake the egg. Yeah.

And throw it in the microwave real quick and it pops out. That always threw me off personally. Yeah, you should. It's crazy how you can just try it at home though and make your own chicken nuggets just put a fucking six eggs in the in the microwave real quick and they pop out yeah that is particularly sick about it but i guess it's a nice one for one yeah we already and we have to we have so many chickens doesn't really matter if we kill them. Yeah. We've got a lot of cows, too, but not enough. Where are they all at, though? The cows?

Yeah. Probably in the Midwest. Or just like an hour outside of every city, there's a bunch of cows. Yeah, there's probably a good amount of cows in New York. Probably a lot in New Jersey. Upstate New Jersey's nice. It's beautiful. Beautiful.

You get an hour and a half down south. Oh, yeah. Tomatoland? Pineland? Yeah, it's very nice out there. It's lovely. I gotta get out there. Were you down there recently? Or what's making you out there it's lovely out there were you down there recently or what's making you why are you pining for the for south jersey thinking yeah just thinking about jersey it's fucking sweet jersey on my mind you think you could hack it

in jersey oh yeah big time when i was not jersey city jersey city is fucking gross and that skyline is hideous you should bomb it i i saw you talking shit on the skyline, but then you came back around on it. Yeah, it's just a bummer that Jersey City gets to look at the skyline of New York City, and we got to look at fucking construction and warehouses. That's why Brooklyn's the best of both worlds. Yeah, Brooklyn's pretty good. Because you can look at the city.

Also, the Brooklyn skyline's not bad. It's like at the bridge. Yeah, it depends on which part you're looking at, but that's pretty idyllic. That's a pretty sweet part of the skyline. Do you fuck with people from New Jersey? I don't really know that many people from New Jersey. Jersey Jerry, Frank the Tank? Jersey Jerry, Frank the Tank, yeah. Good people.

Good people. Respect the hell out of both of them. When I was a kid, I used to think that people had something ingrained in my brain like, fuck Jersey. I just had a shit-talking mindset. Yeah, Philly versus Jersey. But I shouldn't be like that. I like the people from Jersey.

You shouldn't. That's probably why you were rooting for the fucking Mets all season. Shut the fuck up. You shut the fuck up. Why would I ever do that? You know I didn't do that. Or the Yankees. You piece of shit.

You bet the Yankees. How much money did you lose on betting the Yankees to win the World Series? You don't even fucking joke about that because some of our fans don't have that. They're not that good at picking up on sarcasm. Okay. They're going to think that I actually did that. But when I was at the Phillies game, my sister was there. I was like with my sister. It was her birthday and she

was there was like kids behind us who were Phillies fans, but they were from Jersey and she was just talking shit on them mercilessly. She was like, well, you guys are from fucking Jersey or whatever. or whatever and i was like dude you can't like we're on the same team right now you're not you shouldn't be starting up with some you can't be gatekeeping the team especially with these kids from jersey these scumbags from jersey dude they'll stab you in the back of your neck oh they don't give a fuck they don't give a fuck out they don't give a damn out there they got gangs and they're fucking leather jackets and shit like that. Yeah, a lot of leather jackets over there.

The boardwalk and shit. A lot of Springsteen. Yeah, riding fucking big, big, great motorcycles and shit like that. Some fucking big, dumb sunglasses. Some stupid-ass sunglasses. Tight jeans, fingerless gloves. Tightest jeans and, yeah, not a single finger on those gloves. Yeah, there's nuts out in Jersey, dude.

You do not want to go out there. It's beautiful, but you talk shit on their people and they'll fucking cut you yeah they're that like that one island in like uh like uh southeast asia or whatever they fuck people up yeah if you even get close to jersey even if you that's a squad they got a good squad out there and try to evangelize that one reporter from america tried to go over there and they just speared him to death from like 10 miles away just some social justice warrior fucking cocky as hell being like no they'll trust me having is unlikable having like a spear is your main weapon must suck because that's kind of like uh it's like a bee sting like if you throw a spear at someone there's a good chance you're probably never getting that back

oh you only get one of them yeah and then you gotta go wait oh fuck you gotta go make a new spear or like collect a spear or whatever yeah and uh you look at the arrowheads like the native american arrowheads that you find they i feel like they weren't that big i feel like yeah like they're not like these massive like they're not that big they're not ripping through someone's heart regular arrows really to modern arrowheads aren't that big but spearheads are spearhead like a javelin head brother no those are those are massive brother there is no javelin head mistaken when i would go to clearly you never threw jab in high school when i would go to the philadelphia art museum that's the only room that i cared about maybe like the ancient the armor

like the armor the modern jab is just metal it's just like a metal rod i'm talking about the ones you take into battle with like a sword on the end and like the fucking hook sword that comes back. Are you sure you're not talking about a bayonet? No, I'm talking about a long ass jab, like a lance, like a fucking. I don't know. I've never seen one, so. I don't know. But the ones you do ride with have no, you're right.

Yeah. They don't have any fucking. No head. Just a blade. Just one sharps arrow. Damn. Not arrow. Pole.

Yeah, it's like a big ass wooden pole or something yeah damn dude maybe i am wrong maybe i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about i don't know what i'm talking about either maybe i'm a fucking idiot yeah maybe probably did you ever go to art museums when you were a kid yeah all the time and did you only like the only room that i cared about at all was the room with the weapons in it i don't even know if i saw i used to like seeing all the model boats i thought that was cool at the art museum now they shouldn't allow people into the art museum why would there be weapons at the art museum it was like old armor i don't know it was yeah i don't think this is like i don't think what i'm thinking of is like i'm just

thinking of a museum like a natural history ass. Yeah. I feel like art museums aren't really accessible for children, but maybe an art museum. I've been to the Louvre. Yeah? Yeah. As a child? No, when I was in high school. That's kind of sweet. And I went to, what is the one in Rome?

Or Florence, perhaps? The Colosseum. No. The Circus Maximus. What's the one with David in it? The Hard Rock Cafe? Yeah, that one. Is it the S rock cafe yeah that one was it is it uh the uh sistine chapel no i've been there though you have yeah dude you're quite the world traveler

and you might be artsy as fuck this was all in like one week yeah but david was sick why because his his dick no his dick is small yeah he's got small. Yeah. He's got a big ass, though. He's got a hell of an ass. The academia? Is that what it's called? Yeah. I guess, yeah. I thought you were looking for the name.

Oh, no. The academia? Oh, you went to the academia. Yeah, I've been to art museums. Yeah. I've been to the Smithsonian. It's a good museum. I wonder how David got so caked up. You think he was on a squat regimen, or you think it was just genetic?

Probably just genetic, and also the shit they were doing. I mean, they were always on their legs those days. Yeah, but is that going to get your ass like that? They were probably riding horses and shit. You ever rode a horse? Is that good for your ass? Yeah. You ever been on a horse?

Of course. Have you ever rode through the mountains of Wyoming on a horse? It says Colorado. Jeez. Don't shit on me. We gotta get you out there, brother. Take me to Wyoming. I'm always suggesting we go to places. Why don't you take me to Wyoming? When have you ever suggested

us going to Wyoming? I said I suggest other places. You should take me to Wyoming. This is just like you were rooting for the Phillies all year. Shut the fuck up, dude. I love the Phillies. I can name all kinds of players on their team. You had 10K on the Yankees to win the World Series. This is bullshit, dude. I love the Phillies. I can name all kinds of players on their team. You had 10K on the Yankees to win the World Series.

This is bullshit, dude. From game one. You're slandering my fucking good name. My Philly fandom. You gotta have the old messages of you being like, Yankees are taking it this year. Pull them up, then. I'd have to scroll back a lot.

I was really just trying to bait you into taking me to a Yankees game, but you knew I'd be on my worst behavior. Yeah. I was trying to show that I was a reformed fan. Yeah. I went to the Eagles game this weekend as well. Yeah, I know. It was fucking sweet.

How was that? We were up in the 700 level in the fucking, in the nosebleeds. Damn. At the fucking start of the game. You were with that GT pass? It wasn't game time, dude. Oh, okay. I was going to say.

I was going to say. I don't think. I don't think the boys over at GT would put you up in 700. I went with my brother-in-law. No, dude. Oh, okay. I was going to say. I was going to say. I don't think. I don't think the boys over at GT would put you up in 700. I went with my brother-in-law. No, yeah. I would take that as disrespect. They put me on the field over at game time. They fucking look out on game time.

I went with my brother-in-law. He's the one I'm thinking about buying a cow for, dude, if it's not too expensive. Where does he live? He's got like two acres. He's out in Harleysville. He's got two acres out there. I feel like giving him a cow would be a nice-ass gift. don't know how much they are i mean do you have can you go on vacation yeah and it's it affects his taxes yeah gilly should have known that before he went

at fucking rick gilly should have known that before it started a fucking centuries war between i don't i wouldn't want just one cow because cows need a friend that's actually one thing about cows no it's just very true look it up cows cows get very lonely and they need one other cow well that's why i feel like i i would be his friend or like no no no cow needs another cow they need two cows yes like a companion yeah you should never have just one cow that's what rick ross has and bad karma oh he's a piece of shit he's a piece of shit for that i'm back on ghillie so yeah damn that's fucked up just having one cow it's like an actual thing they need a buddy so i should buy two cows yes you're

if you're gonna get cow you need two and they're both girls is it so they can gossip with each other and shit like anything so they can kind of just go back and forth and tell rumors about the fucking dogs or the hens or whatever? Yeah, probably. There's this one account I follow and they just got a fuck ton of Highland cows and then they got like lambs and goats and they all just chill together and like one cat and the cat just

hops up on the cows and just posts up on top of them. You think that country people follow that kind of country-ass content or is it just us city boys? City boys only. Is it just city folk who are fantasizing? There's no reason for a country person to or is it just us city boys city boys is it just city folk there's no reason there's no reason for a country person to follow they get his look outside unless they follow it to like be more a part of a community yeah to be like these are some tips on how to milk this cow yeah yeah yeah on how to fucking yank off this cow i tried to milk a cow

before and i i was nowhere near successful yeah i think i tried to do that when i was really young too you have to be nice with it yeah you got to know what you're doing you got to be nice around the utter you got to know your way around the utter a little bit and they feel remarkable the other the other the utter is trick is whoo it's the utter is tricky it is yeah you're sounding like frank over here now the utter tricky another utter yeah that the utter is tricky. It's the clitoris of the cow. It's the penis of the cow. Not in the sense that it's tricky. The penis is the most simple organ of all.

Well, it feels like a penis. It does. It feels creepily like a penis. Where it's like you're really squeezing down on it trying to make some white shit come out of it. And it's like... Gross. If I wanted this, I'd just go over to on it trying to make some white shit come out of it. Gross.

If I wanted this, I'd just go over to whatever your neighborhood, wherever they're all giving each other handjobs. A little handjob-ass neighborhood. Selena Gomez posted a picture this week outside of my apartment. Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that. What the fuck? She did? Near my apartment.

Really? About 10 miles away, probably. Is Selena Gomez fucking Owen? No, it's because it's... I can't say any of this, actually, now that I think about it. Well, you have to say it. I'm just giving out my entire address. It's fine.

Owen's going to... It's an apartment. I used to take videos outside of my apartment all the time. Nobody did shit with the information. Nobody's like, what are they going to do? Send you a care package?

They wouldn't know where to send it to exactly those stupid motherfucking idiots they could it's not like you have a mail room do you have a mail room no we don't have a mail room so where's all your packages go they just disappear we don't get them do you have a door person that's why i don't send i pass them packages to the office so yeah what where do you where does a package go if it comes to you like does someone have to walk it all the way up to your apartment? I don't have anything sent to my apartment. I haven't done that since my PlayStation was stolen. So nobody in your entire building gets any packages sent? Some people do, and I steal them.

I say I'm going to teach you guys a lesson. You're all going to fucking learn like I learned. Yeah. You're going to get the fucking line. Dude, I want to get a nice studio apartment, and I want to get myself a six-foot pool table. In a studio? Yep.

What, are you going to sleep on it? Six feet. Six feet's not bad. Why do you want a pool table at home? So I can practice. I mean, it would be sweet to practice because you got your ass waxed on Friday by me and Francis. That was fucking ridiculous, dude. What do you mean?

If you don't think I could beat you 10 out of 10 times. Well, that wasn't the game. What? That wasn't the game. You only beat me because Francis was on your team. We won. You couldn't even take a shot without Francis being there because you need him to tell you exactly where to shoot it and what spin to put on it.

Well, he said that he would hold my hand. Yeah, and he did hold your hand. He said he would frame my hips up and show me how to poke him. And also, you had the same teammate the entire time that kept on making me change teammates. Because you were losing and there were an odd number of people. You had to go in and out. You had to go back and forth.

Dude, I would have destroyed you. It would actually be mortifying. You try at pool all the time. I'm glad I didn't because I didn't want you, I didn't want the Phillies to lose and me to beat you

in pool all in one night. That would have been too much for you to handle. The Phillies won, though. Did they win that night? Yeah, they did. And I went back with a nice buzz from them.

Oh, they did? We did henny friday and then me you nick kb francis yeah dude francis made me go to the stand with him at like 7 p.m and i didn't have a spot until 11 o'clock so you got bummed no i like sat there with francis and he gets off stage after his first show and he's like dude i am way too drunk so then he stops drinking and then he's on stage. I didn't see him. I saw him for like five minutes the whole night. And I'm like, dude, you were like convincing me to come to the stand with you.

And then I'm just like lingering around on my phone. Damn. But you know people at the stand. It's not like this is some fucking foreign land. I'm not trying to be there five hours before I go up. That is bitch man. I had like 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. Well, what were you going to do?

Go and lay in your crumb bed? Yes. Back at home? Yeah. In your crumb layer? Probably stay at the pool table. Get my reps in. You should have.

It's the only thing that matters to me. You guys were the ones that had to leave, weren't you? No, Francis did. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, I could have stayed at the pool table. We could have settled the one-on-one thing. No, remember I said I wanted to play another one and you were like, no, we're done. That's actually exactly what happened.

We were playing for money every game. We didn't lose a game, and I made no money. I sent Francis money. And you're supposed to send me money, too. I'm not sending you shit. Exactly. You didn't do anything. I made none of the fucking money.

You didn't do anything. I would beat you. Dude, apparently. Well, you should send Francis twice as much then, because you only paid half of what you're supposed to pay him. I paid him $100. And it was $200 that you owed. And we gave everybody else business.

Francis said, what do I owe you? He said $100. And I paid Francis for the drinks. I paid Francis for the drinks. I sent him like $150. You sent him $150 for the drinks and $150 $100. And I paid Francis for the drinks. I paid Francis for the drinks. I sent him like $150. You sent him $150 for the drinks and $150. And I sent him $150 for the drinks. You didn't send him $150.

On God. No. On everything. On my grandma. That's ridiculous. I did, dude. Francis came up $1,500 in that night. That's probably why he wanted to go home from the stand.

He was like, I'm at a net positive right now now i better stop drinking before i make a bad decision out here it was fun playing pool with the fellows though yeah that was a nice ass uh smooth tables very that's all these all the boys kept saying was how smooth those tables were god drop the spot dude drop the pool hall hell no dude why not giving up my spot it's a secret location i've been back there every night since have Have you actually? By myself. You're such a shark. No, I'm kidding. I haven't.

You're such a pool hall junkie. But I want a pool table in my room or my apartment so that I can play and not have to go to a bar. You know what I mean? You playing in your dirty ass fucking chrome apartment alone on a six foot table would be hilarious. That would be like the most fun thing ever.'re an introvert introvert dude you're i just don't i i did i i just want uh i don't know you just want a pool table that turns into a foosball table that turns into an

air hockey table so you never have to leave tables aren't that great and also i don't even know if it would benefit me at all. It might make me worse. And it'd be so small that you'd be like up against the wall of your fucking studio apartment. Well, that's the thing. You need a lot of space. That's why you gotta move out

to like, uh, fucking, uh, like, Far Rockaway or some shit like that. Yeah,

I was thinking about that. I was thinking about like, Queens or Jersey City, something like that. Jersey City. Maybe Brooklyn. Now you're talking.

I do really want more space, especially with it getting darker out. I'm like, I can't be just cooped up in this tiny ass room. My room is so fucking small, dude. It's windowless. You've seen my room, right? There's so many crumbs and they're so big. There's no crumbs. My room is as clean as can be.

That's not what I saw. Oh, well, things have changed. I saw a crumb kingdom. I cleaned it like once, like three months ago, and it's been spotless since. No trash, nothing. Damn. But dude, I mean, it's just like, you can't even get out of bed. You should

move. I couldn't even lay down on my floor if I wanted to. You want to be in this like hip little cool ass neighborhood, and all you do is go to the comedy club. Oh, the comedy club's like a 20 minute walk. That's what I mean. Yes, 15. Well, you could be... It's a great area. But you're in New York, you're 20 minutes from club. Oh, the comedy club's like a 20 minute walk. That's what I mean. Yes, 15. It's a great area. But you're in New York, you're 20 minutes from anywhere.

No. My location is, that's the one thing that I would miss if I moved is the location. That's why I like my apartment right now. Because the location

is so nice. Why don't you just spend all the money that you have on rent and just be house poor? No. You should. I'm not going to do that. You should be be house poor i don't know what that is uh have a house and you can't pay for anything else yeah so you know exactly what it is you

you have a nice ass house and you can't go out you can't fucking spend money on any nice shit you can't go on any you can't go to any games unless you have the game time app i feel like we already ran an ad for game time but iTime, but I guess we'll give them their fucking money's worth. Oh, you gotta give GameTime their money's worth. Since the account size is $5 signs. GameTime is the goats, dude. GameTime has been looking out. I'm using our GameTime tickets this weekend.

I don't know how to get them. I'm not telling you. I don't know how to access them, but I'm going to talk to someone and I'm going to get myself tickets. Who are you going to talk to? access them, but I'm going to talk to someone and I'm going to get myself tickets. Who are you going to talk to? Tyler? No, I'm going to talk to fucking Dave.

I'm going to say, Rowan's been using up all of our tickets and I haven't gotten any. Stop giving him tickets. Dave and I have been going to heat games, dude. Dave and I are fucking... Dave and I have been using the fucking tickets together. Maybe if you got on GameTime,

you could take Dave to a heat game. I have an account. I have an account. I have an account. GameTime is the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. It's a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last-minute deals

on tickets to sports and concerts and shows. And they guarantee the lowest price. I'm going to the Phillies game tomorrow off of GameTime. I'm going to the Bills game on Sunday. I might go alone

because I have no friends. I'll come with you. I don't want you to come with me off of game time. I'm going to the Bills game on Sunday. I might go alone because I have no friends. I'll come with you. I don't want you to come with me. Why? I don't want you to destroy that experience for me. Why? That's so fucked up, dude. No, I'm kidding.

You'll probably end up coming with me. That's so fucked up. We're not sitting together, though. Just let me meet Gabe Davis, dude. Dude, he doesn't want to meet you. I already asked. Let me just tell him about how I... He said, yo, you're Dude, he doesn't want to meet you. I already already asked. Let me just tell him about how you're cool. But that wrong guy is whack as fuck.

I'm going to tell him how I trail you on any time touchdown score bets every single week. Gabe Davis actually kind of fucked me this week. Wow, dude. Rocky. Things are rocky in paradise. Don't even say that. I almost won so much money. Yeah, but things are rocky in paradise.

He fucked you? No. Dude, first of all, I would never blame Gabe Davis for anything. Well, then why are you saying he fucked you? You fucked yourself by making a bad bet. He's not going to get a touchdown every game. We had a tough game. We're going to come back next week and destroy the Jets. You've got to take responsibility, too.

You're putting it all on Gabe Davis. I'm putting it on myself. Josh Allen fucked me, too, by eight yards. So I had no chance of winning my parlay. Yeah, exactly. So it's not Gabe Davis's fault. No, I'll blame it on Josh Allen mostly for not looking at Gabe Davis. Well, you should tell him to your face when you go to the game.

I'm going to tell him. I'm going to the game so I can talk to the team and let them know. When are you going to ask for these tickets? I'm going to say, hey, boys, we got to work something out here because Davis is open every fucking play. And you're only looking for digs. Luckily, you can get last minute tickets. I. Luckily, you can't get last minute tickets. I know. I'm going to get last minute tickets. I'm probably going to get them on Sunday morning.

You should. I mean, you literally can't get them on Sunday morning. I'm getting a box, though. How many tickets would it use up out of our stored amount if I got a box? Would it use all of them? Because I want to use all of them in one go. I want to sabotage your experience. I want to make sure that you in one go. I want to sabotage your experience.

I want to make sure that you can't go to the World Series. I get them for free and you have to pay. I have to pay. But you get to use GameTime. So it's almost... All right. That is a win. You're barely even paying.

I'd rather pay. I'd rather pay. I don't really like handouts. GameTime is a ticketing app. Oh, we already did that. Download the GameTime app. Go to the account tab and create a login and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download GameTime is a ticketing app. Oh, we already did that. Download the GameTime app. Go to the account tab and create a login and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply. Download GameTime. Last minute tickets. Lowest price. Guaranteed. Terms apply. I don't even... What does terms apply even mean?

I just say it after every ad because I think it sounds cool. I think it just means that they can do whatever they want. Oh, shit. Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't say that. Yeah. No, it's nice. It kind of. Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't say that. Yeah. No, it's nice. It kind of covers them.

It covers the sponsors. It covers the big money backers, the donors. Game Time's keeping us alive right now. Game Time is the best, dude. It literally is the best sponsor. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah. They're incredible over there.

But yeah, I'm going to try and go on Sunday. Have you ever gone to East Rutherford before? probably won't go to it have you ever gone to that stadium before? no I've never been to like most stadiums that stadium is so hard to get to it's so close and like leaving that stadium it's in Jersey right?

it's in Jersey it's very close you probably pass it all the time when you're driving down I looked it up the other day it said it was like a 20 minute drive but obviously when a game's happening yeah when a game's happening i like left the giants game early one time like in the third quarter being like i'm gonna beat the lines and get a fucking uber every second to uber went up and it was like a 300 uber 80 minutes away can't you just take the train uh i don't well me and dave are probably gonna take the chopper so best way to see the stadium, dude.

It's fucking right there. But I eventually just paid a stranger to take me home. That sometimes is the move. Yeah, just pay a guy to get you the fuck out of Dodge. Yeah. Because it was hell. It was hell waiting in that Uber. There's a line that you're supposed to wait in.

Everybody's calling them. Anytime there's an organized like Uber pickup place, you're guaranteed you're leaving. They're just fuming. You think you could schedule one? Yeah.

Schedule an Uber to pick you up? Or does that should not work? Maybe. I've never scheduled an Uber, but I always tell

myself I'm about to. Oh, I schedule Ubers all the time. It's cheaper. Is it? Yeah. Like if you're going

to fly the next morning, schedule it the night before. It's like 10, 15 bucks cheaper. What cheaper what the fuck yeah was that a life hack yeah do you know if you uh take apart your chinese food container it can make a plate if you un if you take away apart the container it actually can make a plate for you right there nice it's a little bit of a life hack right there is a life hack yeah they used to be in life hack

videos i saw. It's like, doesn't that defeat the purpose of Chinese food containers? Yeah. Aren't they supposed to be resealable so you can put them away? Yeah, so you can put them away. You just got to have this fucking plate of loose food. Yeah, no shit that used to be a piece of cardboard that they folded into a fucking box. Yeah, any box can actually be a fucking breakdancing service.

Yeah, any box can go flat. That's a fucking life hack right there. Believe it or not. Stretching those fingers back? What do you got, arthritis? No, I just have so much pent up rage. That needs to spill out of my fingertips. Yeah, how do you think you carry your...

Have you got the force choke? Bro, if you force choke me, I'm going to be severely pissed off, dude. I'll force choke the fuck out of you. If I don't wind up dying from the force choke, I'm coming back in the next life where I'm coming back with a fucking lightsaber and I'm chopping your ass like Darth Maul, dude.

If I don't force choke you? If I don't die, I'm going to bring a lightsaber and I'm going to slice you in half like Darth Maul. But you said if i don't force choke you if i don't die i'm going to bring a lightsaber and i'm going to slice you in half like darth maul but you said if i don't if i don't die from a force joke uh yeah i corrected myself so you okay you ever see star wars today man not really dude i got a lot of shit going on tapping shit we're gonna be pissed i know dude i got a lot of shit going on why fidgety is because the phillies yeah they. The Phillies. Your second favorite team might win the World Series. I'd say third favorite, probably.

Who's number one and two? Sixers and the Eagles. I was talking baseball. Oh, yeah, yeah. You got two teams ahead of the Phillies in baseball alone? No, don't say that. Jesus Christ, dude. They're like the third biggest team in Philly.

What's your favorite Philly team? Yeah, the Flyers fucking suck. Oh, Philly's number two for MOOC? Sixers suck ass. No, they don't. The Flyers used to be good. Yeah, in the 90s. Before you were alive.

No, they were good when I was playing 2K8 PlayStation 2. 2010, they went to the Stanley Cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They played against the Bruins, I think, right? They beat the Bruins. They came back from 3-0 against the Bruins, didn't they? Some shit like that.

In the Cup? No, no, in the semifinals. They lost the Cup to the Blackhawks, I think. Oh, yeah, Blackhawks were fucking weapons. They were a wagon, man. The Blackhawks were... They were weapons at that time. Back when they had

Kaner and Taze. Oh and fucking. The rest of the boys. Patrick Sharp. Patrick Sharp. Sharpie. Sharpie.

And Sharpie over there. Holy fuck. We need to have those fucking. You gotta have those guys on. Because I don't know.

We've got a whole year without getting any hockey slang. We need to get more hockey slang. Yeah dude to get more hockey slang yeah dude i i would have them on whenever i mean it seems like they're always so busy just pumping out new brands of alcohol every week i know it's kind of sweet it's crazy they've gone they went from being a hockey podcast to an alcohol podcast dude i was talking to grinnell they got a nice

dry gin coming out next week yeah i got they heard they have a sambuca coming out yeah i've heard about that that one's in the works yeah it's gonna be they have absinthe a line of absinthe grinnelly's absinthe it's gonna be sick biz is dry gin the driest uh dry on the ice dry in the locker room dry humor the i i was talking to grinnell this weekend and he said when he first got hired by them, Biz went to... He found out how much Grinnell was making and he went to Erica. Yeah, and asked for a raise.

And asked for a raise for him. And I think they were like, it's not in the budget. And he was like, take it out of my salary. Grinnell, he said that? No, Biz said that about for Grinnell. He was like, pay him... So he was like, oh, however much I'm getting paid, salary. Grinnelli said that? No, Biz said that about for Grinnell. Oh, what? So he was like,

however much I'm getting paid, take whatever off the top and give it to him instead of giving it to me so the budget stays the same, dude. That's crazy. I thought you meant that Grinnelli was making more than Biz. Oh, fuck no. Oh, yeah. Fuck no. That's crazy, dude. How come you haven't done that for me? I'm saying, how come you haven't done that for Tyler?

That's what I was getting at. I think Tyler makes a lot more money than me. Tyler is rolling after his new deal. I mean, he also works 48 hours a week. Probably more. 70. No. I don't know.

Who gives a fuck? 48 hours a week is not that much. That's not. That's like average. That's not what I meant to say. 48 hours a day, maybe. Yeah, maybe. 48 hours a week is not that much. That's not. That's like average. That's not what I meant to say. 48 hours a day, maybe. Yeah, maybe. 48 hours a day.

Dude, why don't you cut your salary in half? You feeling all right, though? Why don't you cut your salary in half and you could pay like half the office? That's not true at all. Yeah. That's not true at all. Big spender. Yeah.

What did I even spend on? Fucking Phillies front row tickets every week. Those are from... I went to one game and it was from game time i'm about to go to my second game of the playoffs with the game time executives what are you talking about you and the game time guys go out i thank god we left sass behind that fucking dumb bastard you would not be able to handle this we're in our pinstripe suits our hair slicked back like we're from new jersey dude just toasting fucking martinis hosting their dry gin yeah the fucking dry gin from spitting chicklets we got

to come up with our own alcohol brand that's where the money's at but i feel like you only drink like beers the entire time yeah but the what's it called they just got a beer yeah but they have a beer now so we gotta get a beer no we have to drink something that other people don't drink white russians i fuck with that yeah white russian like a white russian mix or something like that yeah just a glass of milk just a carton of milk that you get from the cafeteria in elementary school with a stool like 18 dollars yeah 18 dollars for a four pack of milk of cartons of milk that would be dope as fuck dude introducing son of a boy dad white russians mix alcohol not included white russian sundaes we should really push a white russian sunday brand dude i've never had a white russian really it's just like milk and vodka, right?

They're delicious. Really? They're delicious. Ew. They're so creamy and fucking... It's like a milkshake. I don't really have cocktails that much. Except for a nice Bloody Mary.

Yeah. I do fuck with a Bloody Mary. Or a Moscow Mule. I also fuck with the Moscow. It's nice for the tummy, too. A little ginger in there. It's very nice for the tummy. Nice hangover remedy.

Milk. And dude, I'm close to being off of eggs. I'm close to not having eggs anymore. I'm off the eggs now. Every time I have an egg, I feel like I'm in trouble. I thought I wasn't going to overdo it. I overdid it with the egg sandwiches. You did?

Yeah. One night, one of them arrived and I was like, dude, this is so gross. It's like, what am I doing? Jiggly ass, stale eggs. I got a bad sandwich and I called it. My breaking point was yes. Now back on the salads. Yeah?

Yeah. You're leaving the eggs behind? Yeah. What kind of salads? Today I had a crispy chicken spicy wrap. Oh, so a wrap. Yeah, it's a lot of salad in there. We're talking 500 cal on that wrap, even if it's a spinach wrap, dude.

That don't sound like a salad to me. Spinach wrap is like the exact same thing as a regular wrap. I know. It tastes the exact same. Because they are the exact same. I think they just color it green with food dye. Yeah, I don't understand spinach wraps, but I used to think they were the healthiest thing. Yeah, but I like the tomato because they have a little pesto, like little tomato basil flavor.

That I think is nice. Spinach is like, what the fuck is... Spinach wrap you like little tomato basil flavor. That I think is nice. Spinach. Spinach wrap you would think would taste bad. It doesn't taste like anything. But I guess spinach doesn't really taste like anything either. I think that sometimes people just think something's green, so they think it's healthy. Like green smoothies? I don't think they're that healthy.

No. I mean, if you look at what the green vegetables that they're putting in them, it's basically just nothing. Yeah. It'll be like celery iceberg lettuce kale iceberg lettuce no we got these iceberg lettuce smoothies no and it's like tall blended spinach and celery it's like there's like not that much nutritional benefit from that i feel the exact same way for the heart i think but but not like blend it up like that isn't the fiber what's good for the

heart i don't know i don't fucking know. I've been listening to too much Huberman. I'm trying to start listening to... Who's that dude that just interviewed Kanye? Lex. Friedman? Lex Friedman. He's about to start. I think that that's going to be the next dude that I get obsessed with. I haven't listened to a stitch of it. He's about to start here? No, no. He's about to start

talking now. Penn? It's a Penn deal. He's a Game Time guy. Game Time actually brought him in i need a famous person to sit next to it all the games that i go to yeah it's smart i feel like i'm about to get i'm about to get real into lex friedman why i don't know i just feel like he's like isn't lex friedman like a sounds like a he's like an alex jones type character is he oh he's a mit research research has dude. Take it back. Yeah. And hey,

not that there's anything wrong with Alex Jones. Sounds like you had a fucking ax to grind with Alex Jones who's now poor. He's now in debt. So you're going against the lower class

of society by going to Alex Jones. You gotta start going after the lower class more often. Punching down? Yeah. I feel like that's a good one. They're gonna get their

fucking weight up. Yeah. Get some fucking paper. Quit sulking. Start making some fucking money. Bro, bitches, pick yourself up that's a good one. They're going to get their fucking weight up. Yeah. Get some fucking paper. Quit sulking. Start making some fucking money. Broke bitches, pick yourself up by your bootstraps. You look real poor down there. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Alex Jones, broke ass bitch. It's like what you fucking, what you said about Soko. That's like what you said about Soko that one time. Yeah, it's a good transition. Yo, yo, fuck you, dude. we skipping why are we why are we going out of order what are you talking about you're skipping one of the ads but i guess we'll i guess we'll just do so now oh i'm sorry you couldn't adapt to reading things i had a fucking oh what

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Did they write that in there for you, sass? They say that for everybody. I don't know. Actually, I've wondered that too, but sass is with two S's, so I hope they wouldn't. That wouldn't. Doesn't even make syntax sense.

That doesn't make sense at all. Times change, and so does what we drink. Make a more tasteful choice and choose SoCo. Click the link in the description below to see more cool stuff from SoCo. I'm probably going to drink some SoCo tonight during the fills.

Yeah, probably. I've been on the bottle heavy these days. Yeah. I like to make a SoCo Russian. I'm going to put down a whole bottle of SoCo tonight. Yeah. Yeah. SoCo.

Well, one bottle of SoCo, one gallon of milk thrown in a Gatorade container mixed up like an Amish lady churning butter. And that's my drink of choice. Dude, we had this kid on our... He was like a... Maybe I shouldn't tell this story. Maybe I shouldn't tell this story. That's a surefire sign that you should tell the story. There's a kid that was not on any of the teams, but he was a little off. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Of course. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know what I mean. That was not on any of the teams, but he was a little off.

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Of course. You know what I mean. Yeah, you know what I mean. Oh, yeah. And this is a time for people to kind of rack their imagination for what you could mean by off. You pick what was wrong with him.

Now, I'm ending the story there. I can't tell a story about a kid that I actually knew. Well, that wasn't even a story. Yeah. That wasn't even a story. Nothing was actually wrong with him. Okay. I'm not going to tell the story. I'm not going to tell the story there. I can't tell a story about a kid. Well, that wasn't even a story. Yeah. That wasn't even a story. Nothing was actually wrong with him. Okay. I'm not going to tell the story. I'm not going to tell the story.

You're being a pussy right now. I'll tell it in like maybe 15 minutes. Okay. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Talk about something else. Actually, can we just cut that part?

No, dude. No. I can't say. Why? You didn't say anything. Why are you? What are you scared of? What are you scared of, Seth?

I'm just scared. Why don't you get down to the bottom of it? What the fuck are you you scared of? What are you scared of, Seth? I'm just scared, man. Why don't you get down to the bottom of it? What the fuck are you so scared of? Cancellation? So, this fucking cancel culture has got the kid spooked. This kid was hot. You see what's happening with fucking cancel culture, dude, and what it's doing to the kids these days? Dude, this kid they went to high school with, nice kid.

He was a real nice kid. Straight-A student, 4-0 stud athlete good kid got pussy he fucked he was fucking i don't know about that but good kid and uh he was like one of my buddies on the lacrosse team and like i don't know if you guys ever play i didn't play any like team sports in high school but i know like like not like ones where you would need water and uh there was they would have the big jug of water yeah and they don't use like real gatorade they use a gatorade mix yeah yeah and the kid poured the gatorade mix into the jug and then he stuck his arm in it and mixed it around and my friend saw it and just didn't say anything. And like just watched as everyone else on the team went over and was just like slugging it down. This kid's like sweaty arm just in there, just mixing it up.

I have no idea. That's gritty as fuck. I know. For like being part of a team sport. I know. Just like eating dirt, being tough as hell. Yeah. Just sticking your arm in the Gatorade and mixing it up yourself.

That's brutal though. That is badass. Just after like putting on all your sweaty pads, you're just, oh dude. Oh, lacrosse. In the locker room. Lacrosse and hockey pads are the stinkiest ones. I think hockey's probably a lot. Yeah.

Because especially the cleats. Yeah. Shin pads. Yeah, the cleats that they wear in hockey. Yeah, my dad used to make me leave my pads outside and air them out. Really? Did I say cleats? No. Yes, I did. No, that's alright.

I was just giving you a hard time, brother. Yeah, we'll clip that and we'll get that out on the main page. This fucking moron thinks they wear cleats in hockey. What a fucking idiot. Since you've had one of those. And I feel like you've been guarded against saying anything

that they could do, like that they could clip like that. You've really been paying attention and shit like that. It's been a while. Chuck's going to like finding that one. Oh, yeah. Chuck's going to like clipping that for Stoolie Clubhouse or whatever. Stoolie Clubhouse actually clips and he sends it to Chuck. So you got the whole operation mixed up. Well, Stoolie Clubhouse actually clips and he sends it to Chuck.

So you got the whole operation mixed up. Fuck, dude. God damn it. I don't even know how this place works. Yeah. That's why you're going to be in charge someday. Oh, yeah. Big time.

You're going to be the fucking CEO. Well, first you'll probably get Hank's job. First you'll probably be head of content. I don't know if I want that. I wouldn't want that job. Yeah, it seems like hell. At all. It seems miserable.

I haven't seen him in six months. Actually, he came out. He came to pool. Yeah. And he was fucking, he needed job. Yeah, it seems like hell. It seems miserable. I haven't seen him in six months. Actually, he came out. He came to pool. Yeah. And he was fucking, he needed it. He needed it. He's like a guy who was like working his nine to five all week and like loosened his tie and starts bitching about the wife.

He showed up and he ordered a double jack. Yeah. Double jack, straight, no ice. And then he fucking slammed it and asked for another one. He was like, back me up. Yeah. Set me up another one. Set it up again.

And then he put $100 on the table and got his ass beat. Yeah. He said three shots of Cuddy and a tall boy. All right, I'll tell. Started talking about Corwin Orr. You ever watch the Gone Baby Gone? It's the best Boston movie. I don't like ever watch the Gone Baby Gone? It's the best Boston movie. I don't like that movie.

Gone Baby Gone? Yeah. That movie's pretty dark, isn't it? Yeah. It's like a lot of kids dying in it. It's like a kid murder movie.

No spoilers, but I don't think... Yes. No, I don't think any kids wind up dying in it. They only find a dead kid, or they find those kids in the attic

or being molested or some shit oh yeah yeah that one kid yeah it was that Casey Affleck and who else Morgan Freeman that broad from yeah that one broad those two broads there's the two broads in it and then

is there three broads in that movie? no just those two the wife of Casey Affleck and then the Boston one who's a bad mom. Yeah, so there's a bad mom and the wife. And then the rapper Slane is in it. Is he the one that plays the bad guy? No, he's the one that plays Casey Affleck's boy who's super thorough. He's from the town.

What did people from Boston think about that movie? Did they think it made Boston look bad? Or was it dope as fuck? You've never seen it? That movie's not even top five Boston movies. What? Yeah, not even close.

No, it definitely is. When was the last time you saw it? I watch it anytime it's on TV. I didn't think that. I thought that movie was not great. What? I watched the movie

and I said, eh. That made me completely forget about all the- And then I put on The Departed to get the bad taste out of my mouth. Really? Yeah.

I thought The Departed is a little bit on the nose. Departed's great. It's fun. It's probably top five Boston movie. But I think- The Departed's top five movies. Yeah.

Period. It's great. It's great. It's great. You got your movies mixed up. I think that Gone Baby Gone has a little bit of a psychological thriller aspect. I mean, have you ever seen like Town's Good? What's the other one? What's the other cop movie?

Very similar to Gone Baby Gone. No, cop movie. Oh, is it the one with... It's another molesting movie. Priest molested the kid. Spotlight? No, not that one. Oh, Mystic River. Mystic River. That's a good Boston movie. Yeah, that's a little too

dark for me that movie's way better than Gone Baby Gone yeah that's a little dark for me yeah that movie's so fucking good I like it but it's a little bit dark for me fuck you

you're twisted you're just a you're a sick fuck no I mean that's just like a good movie it's just I mean Boston has the movies Boston has the great movies they do

it's just actors love to do that action Shawshank Redemption was filmed in Boston. Was it? I believe so. No. Oh, no, no, it wasn't. Because isn't Sing Sing the Prisoner?

Yeah, Shawshank Redemption wasn't. It was, what's it called? Upstate New York? Shutter Island was filmed in Boston. Chuck, you know what to do. Yeah, clip that. Get that out. Clip his dumb ass.

Cut out the correction. Splice it together with some other clip of him feeling down or depressed or something like that. That's good. And then pump that out. Let's get that out. I want that on Barstool U, Old Row, Barstool main page, Viva La Stool. If they hate, let them hate. I want it on all the colleges.

Get it on the local. Get it in Kennesaw. Get it to the places where you have any goodwill and let's destroy that. Alabama stool. Penn State, biggest one, biggest account, right? Is it? Get it to the places where you have any goodwill, and let's destroy that. Alabama stool. Yup. Penn State, biggest one, biggest account, right? Is it? Biggest account by a lot.

By a lot. Damn. Penn State moves units, dude. Penn State's powerful. You saw how they lost to Ohio State? You must have been fucking broken up as a diehard. Oh, Ohio State? Penn State lost to Ohio State? Yeah, that fucking ass is beat.

It was looking good. It was looking good. Where'd you watch the game from? My bedroom, I think. Yeah? Want to say my bedroom? Sounds like a dirty lie. No, I did watch it.

At least the beginning. And then I said, shit, this is over. You need to get your own apartment. I agree. I think you need to get a little living room set up. I do. Where you can watch, like a couch.

I just don't feel comfortable in my living room. It's just mice running around. Yeah. You can't sit down for more than 10 minutes without one of them just popping up on your shoulder. You need a house with it. And then you go. And then it explodes on the wall. And you go, I'll clean that up later.

And then it's just dry mice guts. It's like someone was just shooting red paintballs all over the walls. It looks like a modern art masterpiece. I grab them by the tail and I spin them around. You can't go 20 minutes without a mouse climbing onto your head and ratatouille-ing you in the kitchen. Yeah. Without turning you into a gourmet chef. I know.

Chefing up an egg sandwich for yourself. But I was reading what Guy Fieri does every day for his, like, whenever he's going to go eat. And he's like, I'll eat anything, but I don't eat eggs, especially on game day. I'll eat them in, like... Why? I think that he thinks they're yucky.

That's insane. Yeah, I think Guy Fieri... I used to eat like 12 eggs a day. People love eggs. Yeah. You ever try to drink them? No, there's no point in doing that. I know.

You miss out on some of the proteins. And it sucks so bad. It's fucking gross. Yeah. It's disgusting. I told myself I was going to start doing that. Why? I'm pretty sure there's actually zero health benefit.

Well, I thought it looked badass at the time, dude. I had to get your Philly guy. Yeah, I did it for like two days and I was like, this is fucking gross. I forgot how Philly guys can be a little off sometimes. Yeah. See Rocky, he's like, I'm going to base my entire life on this movie. I was mixing the eggs with my arm, dude, in a fucking Gatorade container. Bro.

I can't believe you doxed that kid. I don't think anyone's even going to know who it was. Knowing what you know about that kid. I'll just lie and say it was someone else. No, no, it wasn't him. I saw him, dude. No, no, that was not him, dude. What are you talking about?

I followed him around for years. Even when he went to college, they'd call him Gatyarm. Gatyarm? Gayarm. Gatyarm. Gay. Gatorade. Yeah. Gatorade. Yo. they call them gay-dy-arm gay-dy-arm gay-arm gay-tour-aid yeah gay-tour-aid that's what we would call them gay-tour-aid

oh my god dude has anyone came up with that yet I fucking miss high school has anyone thought of that one yet I wish I could go back in time and drop that one what's up gay-tour-aid what's up gay-tour-aids what's up gay tour raid what's up gay tour aids what's up gay aids fucking bitch i can't believe how i i can't believe how close the word gatorade is to gay aids i know

they should have thought of there's a message there has to be some kind of like fucking like the monster energy 666 type of message are you getting those aids commercials on uh on football yes yeah and in baseball yeah i was like what the fuck no no no rape commercials oh rape yeah they're doing commercials for rape now yeah dude i can't believe it i was like i'm i'm watching football with my nine-year-old and they got fucking rape commercials on it's flying off the shelves yeah i was like i saw the aids commercial no they got their own aids too. It's flying up the shelves. Yeah. I saw the AIDS commercial. No, they got, they're selling AIDS too? I got the gay AIDS commercial.

They're fucking hawking AIDS. Yeah, it was something about like getting. Buy now and you can get AIDS for free. You and your partner can get. There's a good code. There's some good discounts. Yeah. Yeah.

If you use code boy dad. Yeah. You can get your, your AIDS for $129.99. No, but did you see the AIDS commercial? No, I just literally just the rape one. It was like a political commercial. What the hell is that? It was like a political commercial where they kept on being like, rape.

They're like, I don't even know what they were talking about. That's a word. Yeah. It's not a word you want to hear when you're watching football. It ripped me out of it. Yeah. I was there with my fucking nine-year-old. They started fucking sobbing.

Goddamn, dude. They cried all over their Yankees jersey. It was fucking... Well, I mean... I saw the AIDS commercial. I said, what the hell is this? I said, what am I watching? Tick, tick, boom?

What am I watching? Guys, the movie? Which I did see. Oh, good. Bros. Tom, motherfucker. I was trying to think. Oh, gross. Dumb motherfucker. I was trying to think. I had a better one for that,

but I couldn't think of the other AIDS movie. What is the one with Matthew McConaughey? Milk. Dallas Buyers Club. Dallas Buyers Club. Let's rerun that. All right. I'm watching the football game

and there's an AIDS commercial comes on. Right. And I said, what the hell is this? I thought I was watching football, not Dallas Buyers Club. Seriously. That's good. Nice. we'll get that out there chuck tell chuck to post it on chuck and get on this one that's fucking yeah just because

sometimes the short clips work better yeah i mean it doesn't need to be one of those long clips now that would be good that's gonna go be that would kill on social on tiktok especially they love aids how much do you think it would be for us to get an ad one of our clips on us as a super bowl commercial i think five million five million we could swing that i think we could too i think we could convince them to swing that i think that if you just take a little bit out of your salary one of those weird encrypted commercials where it's just like a qr code like who did that last year crypto uh like, crypto.com or some dumb shit like that. Yeah, some dumb bullshit. Some stupid shit.

Some shit that's definitely broke as fuck right now. Definitely a bullshit live scam. Some website that ruined a lot of people's lives. That was like peddling to the dumbest Americans. Like the people that are just like trying to hang on. The dudes that are still replying to Dave. Are you still holding AMC? Did you see that shit?

Dave, tell me you're still holding GameStop. It's going back up. It's at like 0.001 cent. Push, push, push. Let's ride this to the top. Doge is coming back. I still believe we can make it to the moon. You might have stopped caring, but I never did.

Paper hands, Portnoy. That's what they call them. I mean, that's where this company started going the wrong way. Oh, yeah. Once Dave bought Sky Moon for Safe Moon. Well, he was just a jellyfish, dude.

He had no spine, dude. I remember everyone was walking around the office being like, yo, that, insider trading. I don't think I can say that.

What? And everyone was going, I'm like, yo, Dave's putting a lot of money into Safe Moon. It's going up. Go now.

Buy now. Now, now, now, now. And everyone was like making accounts and buying Safe Moon. And I was like, I'm like, yo, Dave's putting a lot of money into SafeMoon. It's going up. Go now. Buy now. Now, now, now, now. And everyone was like making accounts and buying SafeMoon. And I was like, hey guys, I'm going to sit this one out. And now all of them hit me up weekly being like, I can't eat this week. Send me money. And I say, you should have learned your lesson, you dumb bitch. You fucking idiot.

Yeah. Don't take my financial advice, you fucking rube. But do you wind up buying a Meg sandwiches anyway? Hell no. Because you're off the eggs dude i've been getting finessed by homeless people on a daily basis to the point where i think they can tell when i'm walking down the street they see me and they go that's the kid what do you mean finessed i just can't stop myself from giving them money that doesn't seem like you're finessing it seems like you're a good guy put their arm around me and they're like, it's my birthday today, man.

And I'm like, oh, really? Happy birthday. And then this guy comes up to me the other, I think it was on Friday, actually. It was when I was walking to the stand. And he goes, he's like, man, I could really use some money. And I was like, sorry, dude, I don't have any cash because I didn't have any cash. And he goes, do you have Venmo? And I was like, yeah, of course, dude.

Everyone has venmo oh mistake let no way venmo well so he just tapped into his venmo account yeah tried to get me to send him five hundred dollars what send him 20 bucks what yeah oh you have been getting finessed he was like dude it's my birthday he's like a lot of people he's like most he's like the average donation has been like 400 to a thousand i'm like dude no one had if you were if that was the average donation you wouldn't be out here yeah you'd have your own apartment yeah and then i was like he like was holding my phone this is when i was like this is gonna this is not gonna end well for me because he's like i was like i have venmo and i was like i'll send you 20

bucks and he's like all right let me see my he's like you is like and i was like, I have Venmo. And I was like, I'll send you 20 bucks. And he's like, all right, let me see. And I was like, what's your username? He takes my phone and enters it in. And then he's like holding it. And he's like, how much? And I was like, I'll do it. And I took it back. Damn, dude.

You got badly finessed. I'm surprised you've been telling this story. Why? Because his dude is fucking jugging you, dude. You gave him 25 bucks. 25 now? You gave him the whole 500. I gave him 50 bucks, dude. Who cares? What the fuck? 25 now you gave him the whole 500 I gave him 50 bucks dude

who cares what no I gave him 25 damn dude but no wonder they fucking have it out for you they're like oh 25 a day yeah and then when we were in Austin I fucking I bought some lady like a whole lunch and then like

she's like can you get me food and a snack? And I was like, sure. It was also hammered. And she goes, gets the food and snack. And then, then it turns into,

Oh, let me get a couple of packs of cigarettes too. And the bill was like 50 bucks. Yeah. But I'm like, I'm like transferring money into my saving, into my checking account so I can afford to buy her lunch. I can't believe that you're feeling bad about this.

I'm not feeling bad. You should feel good about it. I like doing it, but I'm doing it too much. I bought some dude three bottles of Clorox spray the other day. I told you about that, right? I don't think so. This was like a couple weeks ago. For what?

He said he needed to clean the homeless shelter. What the? Dude, he's like, hey, I don't need any money or anything he's like he's like the homeless shelter is disgusting i need to clean it he's like can you buy me some clorox spray and i was like sure and i was like i gotta go three bottles i was like i gotta go pick up a prescription i'll be right back he finds me checking out the prescription things comes over with three massive bottles of spray and just drops them on the counter and then the worst is when they try and have a conversation with you after and i'm like dude it's already done like i got i got you your stuff you beat me yeah we don't have to pretend like we're friends you're about to go just ask someone else for more clorox spray

this guy's sitting on a throne of clorox spray like early on in quarantine when people were hoarding purell he just has a ton of clorox spray i mean early on in quarantine when people were hoarding Purell. He just has a ton of Clorox spray. I mean, I like to give back to the community. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, but I can't get paid for the pool game. But I'm doing it a little too much.

I can't get paid for the fucking pool game? Definitely not. Damn, dude. You're not as good. I would pay you if we played one-on-one. And you won.

I'd pay you all the money. I'd pay you $300. Yeah, but why should I pay you if you're not going to pay me then? I don't need it. You don't have to pay me shit. Obviously, you don't need it. You're fucking dropping bags

on the homeless, dude. You're making it rain on the homeless over here. Meanwhile, fucking Biz is giving away his salary to his producer. You're giving it away to fucking the little sisters

of the poor so they can fucking wipe down the homeless shelter. Yeah, bro. God knows what they're doing. They're probably just fucking cooking it into meth or some shit like that. That's what everyone said. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Who said that? Everyone I've told, they've been like, he's probably using it to get

high. That is hilarious. And even if he is, dude. Yeah, who cares? Who gives a fuck? Yeah. Go get high. Yeah. It's like, oh, dude, you literally do like... I saw you do cocaine. And then they just rip a line of coke. It like yeah he's probably just getting fucked yeah that dumb motherfucker is probably just getting stoned i deserve to get stoned because i'm using my parents money yeah yeah yeah nothing like getting stoned off your also i'm assuming he's probably not getting

high off the clorox if he wanted money to go buy drugs, he would have said, hey, can I have money? Yeah. And so even if he is making it, say he's making it into drugs, at least he's entrepreneurial. Yeah. At least he's going and getting it. He's probably flipping that shit. He's flipping the shit. He's flipping the work.

There's a big difference between people who are good at being homeless and people who are bad at being homeless, though. Oh, yeah. Big difference. I mean, there's some guys who are grindersers who are the guy who's on the same corner every day for years dude he's an absolute grinder and he nine to fives it and it might be lucrative for him but he's good at being homeless dude like yeah there's people like that like the but like the people on the subway no one's giving you money i i give them money i net dude i give them i i never give

them money why because they're annoying it pissed me off but the clorox guy doesn't the clorox guy i was walking he said hey man and i said hi and he said i need i need some clothes like i'm not gonna lie he's like i need some stuff to clean the homeless shelter it's disgusting but i said okay i'll buy you stuff damn they're not he not going to be being like, like right in my face when I'm like walking through the subways or not even I'm like sitting on the subway. I think a lot of times homeless people just want to be acknowledged though. And you just be like, sorry, I don't have anything. They just want to be seen or like to be human, humanized.

I think that they're as appreciative. But I wouldn't humanize anyone if they were doing that, whether they're homeless or not. You just think they're being obnoxious? Yeah. They need to fucking start listening to the pod so they can get some tips on how to be homeless better.

Y'all suck at being homeless, dude. Yeah, we gotta start doing... Listen to my boy, Seth. I'll tell you how to be homeless. We gotta start doing Gillian Wallace type shit. We really do. Do you know Wallace's early videos?

Leaving a bottle of SoCo out in the open and posting it on Instagram. Is that what they do? No, they'll leave like a mic and like a laptop out in the streets of Philly. They will? Hey, you never seen them do that? They do that, right?

They do like giveaways now. They turn into like Instagram guys. Yeah, they're great. Wallo always was. Make sure you smack this subscribe button. Smash it. Yeah, it's Wallow. It's Gilly.

We're giving away three iPads today for everyone who retweets this, likes it, subscribes, posts on their story. They must get some side deals like crazy. Oh, they must have had a contract with Apple. Yeah, their side deals are insane. Yeah. They literally might be billionaires. I don't think they have side deals anymore, do they? I don't know. Nobody knows. side deals are insane. Yeah. They literally might be billionaires. I don't think they have side deals anymore, do they? I don't know. Nobody knows.

I mean, whatever they're throwing on their Instagram, I don't think the sales department is saying to set up a microphone on fucking Cotman in the Boulevard to fucking give away iPads. Yeah. Let's talk about Shady Ray's, baby. Yeah, let's do that.

Shady Ray's sunglasses, they're the best. I was driving down to Philly. It was sunny as hell. And I was like, gosh, dang it. Why don't I have my Shady Rays? And I cursed the ground that I drove on. It's important to have sunglasses during the wintertime as much as it is during the summertime. The sun doesn't go away when you're driving during the daytime.

In fact, sometimes it's brighter. There's no leaves to block it. There's snow that it reflects off of. You need to have sunglasses and if you're going to grab them, get some Shady Rays. Talk your shit, sass. Right at the top, maybe.

You can just start it right at the top. Just from the beginning? Sh shady ray's sunglasses offer an industry best combination did you not just read all that no i was just kind of going off the top to set the table oh okay you really weren't listening no not not even a little bit to be honest damn what were you thinking about life yeah how it's meaningless unless shady ray's sunglasses offer an industry-best combination of fit, style, and performance. Stop the big brand price tag. It doesn't stop at quality. Shady Ray's offers the most insane protection program of all I wear.

Every pair is backed by lost and broken replacements. If you lose or break your pair, even on day one, they will send you a brand new pair with confidence because Shady Rays has your back long after your purchase. Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays has been giving away their very best deal of the season. Go to ShadyRays.com and use code SUN for 50% off two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses. One of my boys posted... It's Shady Rays. It's Shady Rays, baby. There you go. One of my boys posted some shady ray shady rays baby there you go one of my boys posted some lame shit on instagram today put him on i just gotta clown his ass put him on i just gotta

clown his type of shit was it a couple's costume from no did he posted a picture of him and his friends at a bar and he goes don't remember this but i'm sure it was fun dude what what the fuck is that what an asshole ultra lame post what an asshole i dm'd him i said this is sick and he just replied and said step off i can't remember because i was fucking drinking so much booze blacked out i was getting so fucked up with my boys fucking remember this yeah all fucking remember this. Yeah. All I remember is there was a dead goat in my bed that I must have fucked. It's funny because he never uses social media and he like popped back

on to drop that. He's like people aren't going to want to know about this. You think that he was like trying out a new voice? I don't know dude. You think he's like a party guy now? People are going to want to see this. This is good. You gotta check this shit out. I was actually drinking. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I was. Oh, man. I was drinking booze. Had to flame his ass for that. Yeah. Don't post like that anymore if you don't want to get flamed. No, he doesn't.

He definitely doesn't listen to this. Really? No. Damn, dude. Your friends don't support you or what? Not at all. Damn. Not even a little bit.

Damn. Sounds like my family but this is uh this is my uh this is the first show my friends have all supported though i feel like all my friends listen to this i think it's just uh it's easy listening because we're so dumb it is it's a good background talk yeah you should guys people should just start listening to this like throw it on before they go to bed. Let's get the views up. Let's start pumping the views up. Well, the problem is you never fall asleep because it's so goddamn fun. I know.

Just be giggling your way into a little sleep. That's what happens to me when I throw on Rogan. Yeah. Can't fall asleep until I finish the goddamn episode. Yeah, exactly. Then it's tomorrow. That's probably what happened last night. You were fucking tossing and turning and listening to Rogan say some poignant shit about the

fucking banks or Kanye's right or whatever the fuck he's talking about. Yeah, something about the Jews. Speaking of the Jews, the ADHD community has been popping off on Twitter. You've been seeing this? Yeah, dude. I love the ADHD community. They are. They need help. You know, they love

We need to. I was saying, I was talking to some people last night and I was saying, hey, we need to put these fuckers in prison. We need to put them in a camp. They need to some people last night and I was saying, hey, we need to put these fuckers in prison. We need to put them in a camp. They need to be put in some sort of cell with padded walls and get them off the streets. We need to round up the ADHD people. I'll tell you what, as long as the ADHD folks are on the street, I'm not having kids. So I don't want my kids around that.

Well, the problem is, dude, they pretend that they don't have ADHD. They're like day walkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like zombies that walk amongst you. You can't tell at first that's an adhd guy but then you get to know them and you start what do you look where do you want where are your eyes yeah why are you tapping yeah what's with the tapping what's with the tapping they stay still for once they like spill over their bag and a fucking brick of vivance falls out you're like what's this christ someone else supposed to put that in there yeah i

don't have adhd yeah and then you block them on everything and then all the stuff but then they fucking talk all they do is talk about it all they do and they fucking can't stop talking about it that's a can of worms you do not want to open their their disability i called this didn't i i said i said almost a year ago i think i said that the people are starting to act like ADHD is like Down syndrome. Totally. Dude, I have ADHD. Everybody does. I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was in fifth grade.

Nobody who goes in for the diagnosis doesn't get it. No, I literally don't think it's possible to not get it. It's like Arizona State, dude. Everybody gets in. Exactly. It's like West Virginia, dude. Everybody gets in. If you apply, you're getting-

The test is insane. Yeah. Like if you can pass that test, there's something more wrong with you. Yeah. That's probably just, like, how they pick who's in the CIA. Yeah. It's like, if you pass the ADHD test, if you're the one in, like, 100,000 that passes, it's just like, all right, go to Langley.

You're a fucking super genius. Something is wrong with you. Everybody else is just normies. They just play a beeping noise. It's like the test is like an hour long. And then it's just a beep. And you have these big ass headphones on. And they play this beep.

And you have to like tap a button every time it beeps. And it goes on for like an hour. Dude, mine was. Yeah, you missed three beeps. We're going to have to get you medicated. Something's not right. It was like 10,000 beeps. My test was that they had me like they had me like lay on like a doctor's table and they fucking dropped a droplet of water

onto my head slower and slower for an hour straight and they were like did that annoy you and i was like yeah it actually did and they're like oh you're sick son you got a fucking problem i had that same test here's 80 milligrams of Adderall. You'll be just fine. It's definitely mind control that the government's trying to push. Oh, 100%. That's got to be what it is. It's legalized meth, bro.

But the way that Tommy Smokes... I think Tommy Smokes said one of the girls on Survivor said this was a sob story. And that in comparison, there's a girl on the show with one leg. Yeah. Yeah, who's not even allowed to bitch about it i just don't know like i don't know if it's gotten like if it's like people are taking it seriously now or what but i got it and like no one gave a fuck oh i remember when i came out to my parents as having adhd yeah they didn't they were no mine were pissed is this gonna be like is this gonna get looked at as like we're like the people who are like, well, my parents beat me.

Look how I turned out. I'm fucking fine. Yeah. These kids have no attention. It's the fucking iPads. I can get I get like I get like. I don't first of all, I'm not I don't actually give a fuck if people have ADD or not. Just going to get that out there.

I give a fuck when people act like it's the biggest disability in the world. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I don't have it as bad as some people. What does that even mean? It's unquantifiable. Yeah. I don't know. It's completely unquantifiable. I don't know what I'm saying.

I lost my train of thought there. And then I started apologizing for some reason. Yeah. You backed up. I don't know what just happened. Because that's your ADD, bro. It's my ADD. It's working up, dude.

You couldn't even hold. Your train of thought was all over the place. Yeah. It was derailed. But anyways, I'm going DEFCON 3 on the ADHD community. Which DEFCON is that? The bad one. Oh, really?

Yeah, it's the bad one. That's the same one that Kanye is going on, the Jews. Yeah. They, I mean, they're worse. ADHD is worse than the Jews. And we can stand on that together as a podcast. They're way worse. They're way worse.

Jews are dope. And I'm like, I got my foot in both doors. Yeah, you're in both camps. That's fucking. Yeah. ADHD. They couldn't sit through. You saw that all the, like, at the Nets game, there are all the people with, like, the anti-anti-Semitism

shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So pro-Semitism, I guess. The AAC guys would not be able to even sit in the game. Exactly, that's what I'm saying. They wouldn't be able to watch the entire game. They'd be, like, wandering onto the court. Courtside would be, like, stimulation overload for those guys. Fucking drooling on themselves, dude. It's with all the squeaking. It's kind of loud in here.

Covering their ears, rocking back and forth yeah why are those people wearing earmuffs at the fucking why are those people stirring the gatorade with their right hand we should do a sketch with some dude that just has down syndrome and he's just going around that's a sob story yeah i got ad i got adhd dude yeah just got diagnosed with adhd this blows it's terrible i'm afraid people are going to treat me different that would be quite the reverse so what are you you gonna play the guy or how are we gonna do this we're not gonna actually do that how are we gonna how are we gonna nail this one

i'm trying to shoot some more sketches for you if you don't mind another cold sore and bro my adhd is out of control i know i heard it's a side effect i've never had two back-to-back cold sores like this though it's got to be this change in the weather. Yeah. Yeah, my herpes is going crazy. Or else you're sucking cocks off or some shit like that. I've been sucking a good amount of cock lately. Have you been sucking off cocks?

Yeah, my ADD has been wild. Yeah. I see a cock and I go, let me get to sucking. Dude, I look like I'm playing a fucking steel drum. Holy shit, I didn't take my Adderall today. Let me get to sucking cock. You wake up like, oh, fuck, dude. Dude, did you forget to take your Adderall?

You've sucked like eight cocks, too. I've sucked like the whole office off, dude. Is everything cool? Yeah, dude. Adderall shortage has been bad. It's been terrible. I've been sucking cock all day. Oh, yeah.

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generous the ridge wallet the ridge wallet community is one of the most generous communities that i've i've ever known it's a good community i f with everybody that that carries the ridge that stays strapped up with that fang on them yeah the ridge is like the kiss coin on the yak for me yeah you follow me with a ridge with a ridge is like the kiss coin on the yak for me. You follow me with a ridge, you're getting smooched. Yeah, except for you're getting smooched with a $100 bill right into your hand. Straight into that ridge. And I say, can I do the pleasure? And I pop

open that ridge while I didn't slide that one. Nothing feels so good. It's like an ASMR. Damn it, dude. I gotta stop playing with this shit. People are gonna be lot of satisfaction. Damn it, dude. I got to stop playing with this shit. Yeah, people are going to be pissed at you. I know, dude. Can you just... You might lose Ridge from that.

No, don't say that. Ridge is our guys. That's our squad. I drive on Ridge Avenue every time I'm back in Philly. Shit. Are you... Do you have any spots this week? Yeah, I got Friday and Saturday, I think.

In New York? Yep. And I don't think I'm doing my shows in Baltimore anymore. I'm not sure if that's I'll make sure after this show. Why? What do you have against Baltimore? We got the Yak basketball I had to cancel. You never watched the

The Wire? No, I can't miss the Yak basketball thing. It has nothing to do with The Wire? No. So you haven't watched The Wire? No, I know The Wire or? No, I can't miss the act basketball thing. It has nothing to do with The Wire? No. So you haven't watched The Wire? No, I know The Wire, the crime show. Have you watched it?

No. Exactly. Maybe if you watched it, you wouldn't be canceling on Baltimore. I don't want to cancel on Baltimore. I wanted to do just Saturday because I can't do the Friday shows, but I could have done Saturday. But then they said, let's just reschedule and do a full weekend. Yeah. You could have just given the half off rate or something like that.

That would have been cool doing two nights or two days. That would have been cool. Maybe Saturday, Sunday. Fuck it. I'll do a Sunday. Fuck it. I don't give a fuck. What if the Phillies win, though?

Wouldn't it be sweet to be in the street? Of Philly? Yeah. Yeah. When is that? I don't know. It depends. It's the World Series.

So you don't know which game they're going to win on this early on. What would be the possible well it could be game five it could be game six and it could be game seven okay so when's game five thursday oh shit and game six is friday saturday game six is saturday and game seven is sunday fucking a man we could do a man on the street I'm gonna do a man on the street regardless well I can't go on Sunday cause I gotta be in New York for the bills oh you care about the bills more than the fills

yikes gonna have to be in New York for that I hope all Philadelphia remembers that next time you're trying to sell your little tickets in town no I'll go when you go on stage you're like Philly I fucking love it here my second home wah wah little tickets in town. No, I'll go. When you go on stage, you're like, Philly! I fucking love it here.

My second home. Wawa! I'll, uh, I would, no, I would definitely do that. I would definitely go to Philly. You guys ever go to fucking Wawa? I would definitely go to, uh, go to Philly.

Yeah? Yeah. All right, I'll get us some hotel rooms at the Four Seasons. Oh, shit. Let's get Joey in the mix. Say less. Should we get Joey?

We should. Joey Clem say less I'll get us the four I'll book us the four seasons well what will we do what we'd stay there for multiple nights

we'd stay at the four seasons for a couple nights we'd go to the spa upstairs no no seriously like what will we do like will we go Thursday to Sunday well it depends

it really depends what happens with the games leading up to it it's been very hard to schedule my entire life because of this because the phillies are so in flux whatever happened didn't didn't we have like a philly office for a minute like a gambling cave in philly it was just a k it was just a house that they rented out in old city that people could go and gamble in why don't we just have they so they don't have that anymore no they don't have that anymore

i wanted to just stay there well i was gonna say like we why don't why aren't people just going there and staying there i think it'd be weird to stay there but i they did have a ton of bedrooms i think marty mush lived there for like a month or some shit like yeah they were supposed to right must have been fucking sick back then marty and glenny that's a team so now it's glenny and dana god coming to a college near you. Coming to a pussy near you. Coming in a pussy near you. Oh, man, those guys are savages. Those guys are going to fuck you, and you won't even see it coming. What is New York sober?

Adderall. Adderall only. Adderall only? Yeah, you just take your Vyvanse at all times. What is Vyvanse's market share? I feel like Vyvanse became such a big What is Vyvanse's market share? I feel like Vyvanse became such a big dog recently. I don't think it is.

I think it's still Adderall as the top dog. Really? I'd say so. Vyvanse is like strong as fuck. I know. It's stronger than a cup of coffee. It's stronger than four cups of coffee.

Well, cocaine's not stronger than a cup of coffee. Well, I've never done cocaine. Me neither. Yeah, dude. You got cocaine hanging out of your nose right now. Biggest coke head in the office. Us Yankees fans are just like that.

Holy shit, the Phillies are down by one. Let me get a bump. Rally bumps, rally bumps. Rally bumps. Is that a thing? You guys said it at the same time So it has to be some sort of thing You said it down a run

It's like a rally You guys both said it It's like a rally cap It's like a rally cap, dude We're making a similar joke Oh, okay Yeah, right, dude Someone from the co-culture hit me up

I saw you Filming it on the lingo No, I saw you at the cellar Fucking doing fucking fat bumps What? I saw you upstairs at the cellar fucking doing fucking fat bump skis. What? I saw you upstairs at the cellar. I'm not past there.

No, well, you were upstairs lingering. You were trying to get in with Esty. Yo, can I hop on? You guys think I can get some time? No, actually, they told me I can do a spot. I talked to Noam. He said I could do a spot. Look, I was on Matt and Shane's a couple weeks ago. Yeah, that's me.

That's me. Do you think I could get some time? I was on Colum. I'll just hop on after a tell. I. Here. That's me. That's me. Do you think I could get some time? I was on Columns. I'll just hop on after a tell. I was on... Just five minutes. That other girls podcast that you were on. What?

Remember that girls podcast you were on? Cuomo. One minute. Cuomo. She's not at the cellar, bro. Oh, fuck. Can we cut that? Cut that.

Cut that as well. Fuck, dude. How is the stand-up comedy community going to respect me now? They hate you, dude. Really, dude? No. They all love you. They're all like, dude, Rowan's way better than you in every aspect. Okay, that's great. That's great news. I love to hear that. You're trying to keep it that way.

Yeah, you're humble as fuck. The humblest, bro. You are the humblest. You got the superlative for the most humble. People have been calling me the humblest. Pat Bev is the humblest. He's the superlative for the most humble. People have been calling me the humblest. Pat Bev is the humblest. Yeah. He's a great player, but also very humble.

Please don't talk about your other co-host around me, dude. You do get pissed off. Just don't. Please just don't rub it in. This is supposed to be our time. This is not supposed to be Pat Bev's time. I do feel like a stepdad. People are like legitimately come up to me like so are you like pissed about i'm like why

would i why would i care at all about that like yo rome he's actually talking to other people yeah wait rome's talking to another person this is fucked up wait he's talking about basketball with someone else i feel like people don't realize you've had like 75 podcasts yeah i have a new podcast every 10 days yeah i'm just cranking out podcasts, talking about basketball. But you're like, well, we might talk about basketball someday. We've never talked about basketball before together, but it could happen. Dude, I don't know if I'm going to be able to ever get, I don't think I'm going to be able to get into other sports like that.

That shit's just, football is just so much better. Yeah, it is. Football's so awesome. It's so fun to watch. It's the best sport by far. It's actually made me proud how much you've gotten into football. But dude, like the Eagles aren't even like that entertaining. Like, I don't, I mean, I get it because it's your home team, but dude, they just like,

they just win by so much every game. And it's like, all right, let's watch a different game. Yeah. But it hasn't always been like that. So you have to understand our plight as Eagles fans. Like, well, I remember last year you guys were getting fucking destroyed every exactly so so think about how how much it means to us now that we're doing no i'm not saying it's a bad thing i'm just saying for me from a third party i'm saying but how exciting well first off i'm watching the eagles up 30 points that's how i can

tell you you're a young fan but once you appreciate greatness it's like watching floyd fight you know what i mean some people can't they don't have the eagles playing i's like watching Floyd fight. You know what I mean? Some people can't, they don't have the discernment. I was like watching Floyd fight like me. Like it's not you trying to punch Floyd. They're just walking all over everybody. Yeah. It's awesome. Who do you think it's going to come down to?

Predictions. I think it's gotta be chiefs birds. The chiefs. All right. Bill's birds. Then the chiefsBirds. The Chiefs? All right. Bills-Birds, then. The Chiefs suck. I know the Chiefs aren't bad. You said their game came down to the last drive.

I wasn't thinking about the Chiefs. I was thinking about a different team. Oh, no. I was thinking about the Bucs. I don't know why I always get them mixed up. Chiefs-Bucs. Similar colors. They have the same amount of syllables.

Same amount of syllables. Kind of a soft sound to hard sound. Are the Chiefs that good, though? Yeah. They almost beat the Bills. Yeah, so they've got to be pretty good. The Bills win a lot, too, dude. It's kind of boring how much they're watching the Bills.

They're always freaking winning. The Bills are in the dirt. Yeah. They're getting dirty. How about the trade they made today? They picked up Naeem Hines from... I didn't even know they made a trade. They made a trade.

New running back. As long as Gabe Davis is... Of course he is. And Diggs are still on the team, I'm they made a trade. They made a trade. New running back. As long as Gabe Davis is in. Of course he is. And Diggs are still on the team. I'm good. They just got some more weapons. Receiving running back. Kick return.

A guy out of the backfield. Fucking hell. Open up some space to Gabe Davis. This is a dream team. It really is. Dream team. Yeah. Bring some gravity down to the fucking flats.

Yeah. Open up that curl route for Gabe Davis. You know it's his favorite. Oh, dude. It's fucking sick. I like watching the Bills too. AJ Epinesa. I don't know who that is.

Unless I do. You do. Who's your favorite player on their defense? You're learning. You're learning little bit by little bit. I got a couple in mind. I just hate picking favorites with the boys. You know what I mean?

I know. Well, they're listeners, so they'll get pissed off. They're all listening and I'm just saying, hey, I don't want to pick favorites. They're all gathered around the ping pong table

in the locker room. Like, yo, turn off that fucking rap music. Turn this up. Turn this up. Yo, what the fuck? Turn off that Lil Baby. Sass to spit.

Why do you assume that they're all listening to Lil baby? You never been in a locker room? No, never. They're definitely listening to little baby. Since I was in fifth grade, I think. They're definitely listening to little baby.

I was the kid that got changed for hockey in the car and went in with his skates on. With his cleats on. Yeah. I went in with my skates on with the skate guard rollerblades. Have you ever seen that? No. Kids would wear these skate guards. What's the skate guard rollerblades have you ever seen that kids would wear these kids wear these skate guards because you wear what's a skate card you have the skate guards they're

just like a thing that goes over your skate at the front it goes like over the blade oh yeah yeah wait is it like a rubber thing it can be a rubber thing or it can be like a yeah i think i know you're talking about stretchy thing but then there was other ones that people had that were rollerblades so they like lock into your skate and then people would just be rollerblading around like the like the hockey rink it's kind of sweet now it was like the it's like the equivalent of having like a roller suit roller backpack oh it was nerdy dude if you're walking in first of all the worst move ever was having to walk into the rink like you'd be late and you're my dad would like start changing in the back of the car and i have to like start putting my pads on in the back of the car and then that's the worst move is when you show up to the locker room

already fully padded up dude helmet on it sucks because it's not your fault no it's always my dad's fault exactly yeah that's bullshit but uh that's that's the worst move yeah that sounds shitty you just you just look nerded out yeah the only way to pulling up with the fucking rollerblades on it seems like you had them no i didn't there was some kids that did seems like you had the blades no god no yeah the best part of youth hockey was always getting naked with your boys beforehand no we didn't i quit way before people were getting naked so when were you getting changed like what's this era that you're longing for when you guys would get changed at the at the rink together? Like changed into your padding. Got it.

I never played youth hockey, dude. I don't know. You just spawn in with that on? I don't know. But I'm saying it seems like you guys are just stripping down in the locker room. No, you'd wear shorts and a T-shirt. OK. I never played youth hockey.

That's probably why you guys are smelly as fuck, dude, because you're just sweating up your bottom layer. I'm wearing shorts underneath my fucking sweatpants right now, dude. Why? Because I could probably be a hockey player if I wanted to. Dude, these pants that we got fly as hell. Yeah, a sponsor. A couple new sponsors coming soon. Yeah, don't talk about them yet.

No free ads. No free ads, but it's a big one. Wait till that fucking ad money hits the account. Oh, yeah. Wait till that fucking ad money hits the account oh yeah wait till that game time money hits the account yeah i'd love to see what our account looks like yeah for sure good amount of money hopefully totally every show every show's got to be making a bunch of money so the fact that you know we're just part of the network we're doing good numbers no but ours has to be making that's what i mean it has to be a lot oh you're right you're right yeah totally us and part of my take yeah we're top five

top five earners the two big dogs yep so buy some merch too definitely buy some merch son of a boy yeah we haven't been really moving the merch lately have we but it's like we moved it when we when they were making new shit for us i'm just not a big merch guy cut Cut that. Cut that for sure. Cut that. But why? I'm just a big merch guy. Yeah. Yeah, just bleep out the not. I'm just a big merch guy.

I'm just a big merch guy. Yeah, I love this stuff. I can't get enough of it. Sometimes I'll go to the barstool store, I'll buy some merch myself. Yeah. I could get it for free, but why not support the economy? I wish I had one.

Well, I'm not going to wear a hat right now because my hair is shorter now. Because your hair is so good right now. But I got to get another one of those Boy Dad hats because I gave mine to Matt McCusker and now I just don't have one. The original ones, the good ones. The brown one? Is it brown? Or is it green? is it brown brim

is it green brim the tan one we put out yeah yeah yeah brown brim green under brim yeah yeah yeah that one I might have a bonus

one at home I might have gave it to my boy Mike though fuck fucking Mike son of a bitch dude at the end of this month

I'm going with Mike to a fucking yeah that that mark has been disturbing me the entire time yeah what is this Son of a bitch. Dude, at the end of this month, I'm going with Mike to a fucking... Yeah, that mark has been disturbing me the entire time. Yeah, what is this? It's from like a phone. It looks like the fucking...

Whose phone? It's like an iPad. It looks like a body that got vaporized at Pompeii. It was just the outline of a phone. Google Pixel on the fucking table? Yeah, someone charged up on the table right here and it burned a hole right through the shit. Where are you and Mike going? To a fucking, to a tropical island.

Which Mike? My boy Mike. One from Philly? Yeah, whose house you went to the one time in Philly. He won, or at a silent auction, he won like a trip for four to like a fucking secluded island. And we're going for a week right after thanksgiving damn yeah you're gonna get killed there for sure what do you mean killed you won a four-person trip at a silent auction to a secluded island they're gonna savage they're gonna

display your body across the island i think that they're it's not the one in the it's not southeast asia dude it's not like this at where there's an indigenous people who are trying to bring christianity it's like a hotel that has like 20 rooms or some shit like that so the only thing on the island is this hotel they're like we have activities that you can do yeah murder be murdered to passively get murdered that's gonna be cool yeah it's gonna be fucking sweet about to come back with a fucking when are we going you want to come no you can use all the game time tickets while i'm away bro my company's got tickets your company you know when people used to say that or i feel like people would be like yeah but my dad's company gets tickets to

the game oh yeah yeah yeah it was all it always sounded sweet as fuck my dad always used to say never take those tickets why because then you got to do business with the people oh really so that's why i haven't used the game time tickets yet well you're already doing business i'm listening to paul no it's obviously it's my dad wasn't going out to games with ticketing companies your dad's also an assassin he's also a contractor who kills for hire so if he goes to dude are you doing this uh we can end on this but are you doing this uh fucking wellness thing if i knew about it i would do you can sign up today what is it it's uh you sign up and it's like a like a weight loss it's like a step competition might not even be worth signing up because we got a couple fucking fucking like triathlete.

Yeah. Triathletes or whatever. I don't even know what the word would be. Like Ironman runners upstairs. There's people that have like 40,000 steps today. That's bullshit. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? Did you walk here from Maryland?

I know. What the fuck? I checked at like 1 p.m. People were at like 30,000. And you had 1 checked at like 1 p.m. People were at like 30,000. And you had 1,300 at 1 p.m. Dude, I have probably still under 3,000. I got 2,900 right now. God damn.

And it's like six. But there's people upstairs who have like standing treadmill desks. Standing desks, yeah. Isn't like the marathon coming up too? Like there's multiple people just actively training for the marathon. Yeah, dude. And it's like if you're not doing that, you're fucked. Because these people are getting, they're going to end the week with, what, 400,000 steps?

That, the contest was probably started by one of those people. No, and I said, I was like, we got to, they shouldn't even be allowed to compete. They should have their own contest. We should have weight classes. Yeah. They should have their own contest. And then it should be the common man who's not, doesn't work out often, gets to compete. Yeah.

Starts working out more. They're like that fucking swimmer from Penn. I mean, I'm in 99th place right now, I think. You are? Yeah. God damn. I know. That has to be the last place. Yeah, there's a lot of people in it. There's like over 150, I think. Yeah? Yeah. Sign up, dude. You got a Fitbit or anything? No.

Oh. Don't sign up then? I don't like wearing that kind of shit. You're a lost cause. I don't like wearing that shit on me. You got a Fitbit. Your steps are not going to be accurate. You think that that's all that thing is tracking for you? You little slave to Apple, dude. This isn't an Apple. This is Fitbit, brother. are not going to be accurate. You think that's all that thing is tracking for you? You little slave to Apple, dude. This isn't an Apple. This is Fitbit, brother. Whoever it is is tracking and stealing your biological information.

Probably selling it to the fucking Russians. I don't give a fuck. Probably selling it to the Chinese. It's fine by me. Oh, really? Maybe they could learn a thing or two from a guy like me. Learn a thing or two about personal fitness. Yeah. Damn. I ain't signing up. I'm not going or two about personal fitness. Yeah. Damn. I ain't signing up.

I'm not going to wear one of those every day. You get to win stuff, dude. You don't want prizes? Boy, you didn't tell me about that. Yeah, it's a $2,000 prize for the winner. What? Yeah. Oh, dude, it was definitely started by some try-hard, try-athlete upstairs that was trying

to win some money for themselves. I'm assuming it was started by someone in like HR. They probably have to do stuff like this.r is doing probably looking around the office and they're like whoa we gotta do something for a fitness challenge not upstairs now upstairs everyone is all like cool guys yeah yeah it's like all cool guys and girls skin tight shirts yeah and they're fucking pokeballs the guys that work upstairs here are like the guys that are in those instagram ads for the skin tight shirts what is that one brand i guess we can't do free ads but yeah for the skin tight shirts yeah they all got like blue eyes

yeah hey what's up man yeah i had someone on the sales team today asked me if i can send them the tweet of an ad we recently posted yesterday because he couldn't find it on our page. Like, brother, you didn't even fucking look. It was the last tweet? Yeah, literally the last tweet. Offset's people probably the wrong way, man. Put their asses on blast.

I want him fired today. I want him fired by the end of this episode. ADD having bastard. They were just a bunch of sympathy hires up there because they all got fucking ADD. Listen to our show. Buy tickets

to Little Sasquatch's next show down in New York or wherever the fuck it is. I think it's going to be Baltimore. No, not Baltimore. I don't know where I am next. I think it's going to be Baltimore. No, not Baltimore. I don't know where I am next. I'll tell you guys next week. Or just look at my tweets or something.

That's how you promote a show, dude. That's how you sell tickets. Just fucking figure it out yourself. All right. We'll see you guys next week. Peace.