Son of a Boy Dad - Day of Rage | Son of a Boy Dad #141

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Day of Rage | Son of a Boy Dad #141 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. You just clap. All righty welcome back to son of a boy dad podcast yes today it is monday october 17th some shit like that does it matter does it even really 16 see i would have thought well that changes everything it does well i guess the 17th We just get another extra day in life, brother. Yeah.

That could be a good thing or a bad thing. Here we were thinking it was the 17th. Let a little bit of now. Is that we were one step closer to that sweet release of death? To snapping the mortal coil that keeps us tethered to this globe. Some of you guys may know the Eagles are no longer a defeated football team. They are a poverty franchise. the Eagles are no longer a defeated football team.

They are a poverty franchise. Frauds who have been exposed in one of the worst ways I think I've ever seen in my short time being at a football game. What the fuck are you talking about, dude? First off, you're an Eagles fan. One of the worst losses I've ever seen. You can't go and switch sides and fucking Neidu laugh into the camera

as soon as they lose. Oh, I was crying laughing when they lost. Did you see Neidu's, him laughing? He just went eagles and went and when he laughs his like tongue bounces. Oh yeah.

So vile. His whole body probably bounces. I can't believe that he did this but he's no worse than you. You're no worse than him. Fucking traitorous to the franchise

that made you a football fan. How is he not an Eagles fan? He is. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He just likes to see, he just, he wants to see the world burn.

Yeah. When you're going through a tough time, it's always better when other people are going through a tough time too. It is. When other people are failing and doing terrible. But I mean, the fucking Patriots are losers too. Yeah.

Mac Jones is a fat fucking loser, dude. Well, he's not fat. Within three years, we're going to see him on 600 pound, like fucking smuggling fucking dominoes under his fat role. He really is the worst quarterback in the NFL.

I did buy his, I bought his Jersey last night. Cause you know, you gotta, something's got to change. And I don't know if he needs more support or what, but I got his Jersey. It was, I mean, I, like I said, like I said like i said earlier they i mean they played as better than they've ever played that was like the best patriots game all season that's how i could tell that you're you've reached the depths of fandom that you're you're trying to justify a fucking shitty loss for the worst team in football to be like oh well they actually tried really hard they did they played their asses off it's not it's not' fault. I mean, dude, he's got no offense.

What can he do? He can't leave the team with no offense. It's 100% his fault. His BMI is like in the 80s. No way. Why are you saying he's fat? He's not fat. He's gross and fat.

No way. Have you ever seen him? Have you seen him with his shirt popped off? Mac J squats 600 pounds. No, he does not. Jalen Hurts squats 600 pounds. Jalen Hurts is a legitimate winner. They love bringing up how much Jalen Hurts squats. pounds. Jalen Hurts is a legitimate winner. They love bringing up

how much Jalen Hurts squats. And it's fucking sick. It is. It's impressive. His fucking ass is like the Vegas Cube or whatever that fucking orb in Vegas. I heard Tua squats 650. No, he doesn't. We'll see this week. That's going to be a good game.

Actually, you'll probably be a Dolphins fan by fucking Monday. Oh, I already am a Dolphins fan. That's my team now. I have bad news for you. I ordered a Tua jersey last night. No, you's going to be a good game. Actually, you'll probably be a Dolphins fan by fucking Monday. Oh, I already am a Dolphins fan. That's my team now. I have bad news for you. I ordered a Tua jersey last night. No, you're going to look horrendous in those colors. You think you can wear teal and orange, dude? Save it for the olive skin brothers. Oh, brother. Save it for the Cuban dissidents who

flee during the Bay of Pigs. Dude, you can't fucking pull that shit off. Poverty franchise exposed. No, dude. Hold this L. No, it's going to be you, Frank the Tank, and Nicky Smokes. I was in the comments. I was on the Eagles comments from burner accounts. What do you mean the Eagles comments?

I was replying to the final score post. The live chat on Stream East. I love reading those comments, dude. I was in tears laughing. I was just sending Mook and Gardini just screenshots of the comments. Mook's a fraud. Mook's a fraud? Mook was tailgating at the bears game in bears gear was he in bears gear yes no it wasn't look at danny conrad's story he told me that he went to go buy a bears jersey and he was like i couldn't do it yeah because he already had a shirt on he couldn't fit it over all the other

bears gear he had that's crazy couldn't do it because they literally he was at the legal limit of he's big time let, talk about a poverty franchise. Oh yeah, the Bears. The Bears may as well play on a high school fucking, they play on a high school field with bleachers. Yeah, it is terrible. They have cheer, none of their cheerleaders are even male. That's how fucking poverty they are. Exactly.

That's poverty. The great franchises have fucking spunky male cheerleaders that fucking snap that thing. I mean, it is crazy that the Jets are probably going to win the Super Bowl. People are calling for Carson Wentz to get back on the Eagles. I'm going to strangle the Jets' coach. He's like, we've embarrassed every quarterback we've faced. Their only wins are against the Jets or against the Bills and the Eagles, right? Yeah.

That's pretty impressive. And they shut down Patrick Mahomes pretty much. They did. Well, Patrick Mahomes is a fraud. They're fucking losers too. Poverty franchise. But those losers needed it

fucking as much as anybody. The fucking Jets needed it. What happened with the Patriots-Jets game? Patriots won. Did they? Yeah. Right?

Yeah. So Patriots beat the Jets and Jets beat the Eagles. Exactly. Patriots could beat the Eagles, no problem. The associative property. Patriots almost beat the Eagles and Jets beat the Eagles. Exactly. Patriots must, could be the Eagles, no problem. The associative property. Patriots almost beat the Eagles week one, right?

No. It is tough though. I don't think the Eagles are as good as they were last year. That doesn't mean it's season over, but we haven't had the perfect injury luck that we did last year. We're getting, it looks like we're getting a call. Who's that? Oh man, I love it. I i love the comments they're so funny y'all lost to zach wilson is it hurts or the team question mark what happened imagine losing to that we own you

us jets fans we own you dude i got a zach wilson jersey last night too no i really did get a mac j jersey, and I'm pumped for it to get here. Jets fans are all dudes that fly to Vietnam for a single day and bang as many shemale prostitutes as they can. Yeah, that is. That's actually pretty accurate. First off,

they try to find fentanyl. They don't want Percocet. They want fentanyl. They want to get as close as they can. And second of all, they fly to Vietnam and they say it's for airline miles, but it's really to fuck males who have their penises tucked in between their legs and their butthole.

I would fly to Vietnam for airline miles. And then I would probably fuck some she-hems as well. I mean, when in Nam, you gotta. We can't talk about airlines anymore why oh people are getting mad i don't know if they're getting mad but but most people have never been on an airplane like me and you yeah i know most people in the world have never

tasted the sweet fucking taste of first biscoff cookie yeah of of a small bag of uh of mini chips peanuts and fucking round pretzels they don't know it's not relatable anymore now it Of a small bag of of mini of mini sun chips. Peanuts and fucking round pretzels. They don't know. It's not relatable anymore. Now it isn't. We got to talk about fucking real life things

like fast food and fucking getting into the audience more. We really were breaking it down just 10 minutes ago before you got here. Me, Tommy and Francis were talking about the miles.

Yeah, I bet. It's a it's a fucking trap, dude. It's a trap that they're setting for us. They want us to only talk about the miles. Yeah, I bet. It's a fucking trap, dude. It's a trap that they're setting for us. They want us to only talk about the miles. What can you do, man? I'm going to run up into Delta and I'm going to do some nasty things if they don't get their shit straight.

They better. Yeah, it's going to be like Charlie Headbow all over again. Well, how was your fucking trip to Chicago? It was fine, dude dude it wasn't anything crazy why'd you have to do 20 shows out there because it's a small room it's only 140 why don't you put it in a bigger room and do less shows that's what i said i said the exact same thing why don't you just do a normal weekend at a different club yeah they're they're slaving you but it's fun it was

good yeah a lot of stage time though eight hours of stage time in a week is uh no good god yeah that's just fucking toast by the end yeah just absolutely gassed couldn't say the same jokes over and over again anymore how many shows was it eight shows yeah jesus christ dude yeah i did some new stuff though, which was fun. Wow. That sounds fun. Felt productive. Dang.

Where did it come from? Now on the bright side, I only have 25 shows in the next week in New York. You'll probably get better really fast though. Yeah. There was people in this office that were like worried for you being out in Chicago. Why? People were coming up to me being like, he's spending a lot of time out there. Oh my God. Really?

Dude, I was out there and I was like i would never never dude talk about a poverty franchise chicago's office they are struggling out there i don't know if you watched the yak i asked if they had tea and they like lost it on me everyone was like why the fuck would we have tea and i'm like dude tea is like the most popular drink on earth yeah and there's like we have like 20 different varieties of tea here tea is so accessible and it costs so little it's so cheap you need a small bag of it and you could like it's the loaves and the fishes you could feed thousands of people tea with one small bag i had a sore throat and i wanted some tea and they acted like i was nuts so then i was like all right i guess i'll have a coffee and then we have

exclusively kielbasa and not even they don't even have like an english breakfast tea pretty standard they have that everywhere i have that in my apartment i don't even drink it it's just like one of the first things i bought i was like i guess i'll have some tea they only have like the uh pubs uh size container of snack mix the bar mix yeah all they have is a massive bar mix. You put it in a little ashtray and you set it on the table. Yeah. Dude, I, I, I made a coffee and then I'm like, all right, where's the cream at? We don't have cream. And they're like, we're moving offices in a week. And I'm like, dude, isn't this like a billion dollar company? We can't, we can't swing the

$3 of cream twice. Like, well, we're not going to splurge on cream because we're moving next week. Didn't Penn get rid of us? Cause we built a Chicago office. I don't know. That was, it was crazy though.

No, I'm joking. They're struggling out there. But it costs, it costs so much money. And every time I go to that office, I feel like I'm in the way. Oh yeah.

I feel like I have nowhere to stay. There's nowhere to go. I feel like a big in the way guy. And I don't like it. But I think eventually they'll be opening up this new office. They're saying next week. Holy fuck. Priority shows are going over.

I don't know why I envision it this way. I envision it like a fucking half open dollhouse diorama. Where it's just going to be a basketball court and no walls. And all the fucking studios will be packed up like Hollywood squares. Like everyone's going to be on top of each other, like lit up. I don't know why I see it like that in my mind. I don't know what I see it like. I don't picture...

I don't know. How big is the office? It's got to be fucking huge. It's got to be like this set of Hollywood squares probably. Yeah. This will be my guess. Did you ever watch Hollywood squares? Bro, it was a great show.

Really? Yeah. What? Yeah. I'd never heard of it. How was your frame of reference? Not exactly the same. What the fuck?

That blows my mind. Did you hit any steak houses in Chicago? No, dude, I was pretty sick damn still am a little under the weather but nothing crazy anymore so you couldn't go to steakhouses connect the dots there for me no i didn't go to any steakhouses all i really did was went to the office came home would sleep for like three hours and then go do the shows and then go home and sleep

more what were you eating what how are you feeling your temple? Bad. Yeah. A lot of flatbread pizza, Zany's microwave flatbread pizza. Yikes. Yeah. That's bad.

Yeah. That fucking breaks my heart. I'm pumped to be back in the city though. I know. Very happy to be back. We should go and get like a team meal. Like how all the other podcasts do. I know we should.

Yeah. Where would you want to go? Ruth Chris. If you can find me a Ruth's around here, I would kill for that. No, we can't go to Ruth's Chris. Why? Is that actually nice?

I've been there with you. I know. We took it for you because we knew you didn't know the difference between good and bad. We should go to that fucking place that we went for my birthday. Fort Charles. Yeah.

That place is nice. That place is hard to get a reservation at. I'll talk to some people. Yeah. Yeah. Who are you going to talk to? The hostess. Please.

Please. Please let us in. Please. We need this badly. Our camaraderie is low. We need a team building exercise. You know who needs a team building exercise? Shut the fuck up, dude.

I don't want to fucking hear it, dude. We should schedule a scrimmage against the Patriots just to slap them around. Get our confidence back up. Poverty franchise. Bro, the Bills almost got smoked last night by the Giants, dude. Bills losers.

Win's a win. We were just trying to see how well our defense could hold us up. No, you have the opposite of the Midas. That was like, that game was kind of like a test to see if Josh Allen does get hurt, we can still win. Any team you start rooting for fucking turns to shit, dude. Stay away from the Phillies. Do me a favor,

alright? You don't fucking jinx them in short order. The Phillies are an absolute fraud. As soon as you started caring about football. Bryce Harper's out for the fucking season. The Patriots. It hasn't been announced yet. Elbows fucking turned to dust. Absolutely not. That man has a bionic elbow.

He could people, he could fucking people's elbow the fucking earth's crust and it would shatter. That's true. Create a tsunami that would engulf the entire globe. A lot of frauds were exposed this week. Colorado was exposed. Frauds. 49ers were exposed. Frauds. Eagles.

Frauds isn't even the right word to use for that team. So who's the best team in the league? The Jets, probably. No, but the... No, the Jets lost to the fucking... The Jets had a slow start to the season. It happens. Lions might be the best team in the league.

Lions beat the Chiefs. Lions are 5-1. The Chiefs lost last night? No, the Chiefs played on Thursday. Yeah, they won on Thursday. Just talking fucking ball. As soon as you saw... The NFL will probably start to implode

now that you love it. Everything you touch fucking crumbles. Like the Holy Grail. Ideally. Everything you touch fucking crumbles. Yeah. Like the Holy Grail. Ideally. That was pretty much it though. I just watched a lot of ball yesterday. Ate some wings.

Dry rub? Nah. Hot. I fucking love a dry rub. Hot buff. Yeah. Pretty standard. Some sloppy ones.

Sloppies. A couple of slobs. What's a slob? Just a sloppy wing. I hate a sloppy wing. I think I'm dry rub only now. Yeah? You just don't have time.

You don't have time for your hands to get all messy. I just like a dry rub better. Even if it's like a little bit, just like a little peppered. I don't want to fuck. A dry rub is good. Last time I had a dry rub, i had a cold sore on my mouth and it fucking just attacked the cold sore not a good feeling at all you didn't care though but i think that regular hot sauce would have done that too yeah have you ever worked in a restaurant that makes wings no or have you ever

made wings at home or anything like that have you ever tossed your own wings yeah it's just like you're making you're mixing butter and hot sauce to make wing sauce yeah it's fucking nasty yeah it is it's a little gross it's gross dry rub is good a dry rub is significantly more defined manly very manly yeah it's like old west you go in and fucking getting a shootout and then have some dry dry rub wings or some shit like that. I would kill for some DRs. I went to fucking... Did you guys go to Fred again? Yeah. You went

too? Yeah, I went on Saturday. Oh, shit. Team building exercise without me. I see how it is. We all went separate day. Or they went Saturday, right? Or you guys went Friday? The day didn't rain. Yeah, we went in the rain. Friday. Shit. It was fucking gnarly. Oh, we went in the rain. Friday. Shit. Was it like cool as hell? Oh shit.

How was the concert? It was, that was cool too. Yeah. We had a cool concert in Tennessee. Was it big? That was very cool. It was pretty big. Yeah.

It was, I mean, it wasn't as big as like, we played at a festival. It was the last show. How many heads? Before that. It's hard to say. Probably a couple hundred. Nice. Wasn't bad.

That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, your manager would have had us there eight days in a row, bro. A couple hundred heads back to back to back to back to back to back to back. Yeah. He would have fucking wore us out. But it was dope to go down there. But the guy was spooking me out.

He said he bought this bar in like probably like 20, 30 years ago. For the first four years, he couldn't afford to pay for it he was sleeping in a hammock and he said when he bought the building hammock life there were these fucking he said when he bought the building there were there was a serial killer that had deposited fucking like 53 bodies in like the water heaters of the place and he said for like the entire time that he would sleep there in the hammock he would just see chairs go sliding across the room he said it with like a straight face like just dead ass and was just like well like on my way he was like look it up like the hogs breath murders or some shit like that like it's

haunted extremely haunted i thought you didn't believe in that shit i mean he was this guy said it's so matter-of-factly that uh i had to have i had to have my guard up fucking that's horrifying there's 50 bodies buried in that place? He said they were in a fucking cooling tank or some shit like that, but they were stacked in there. Did you watch the documentary about the Cecil Hotel? Uh-uh.

Where the girl disappeared and then they found her in the water tank above the hotel. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did see that. And they have no idea how she got in there? I know what happened. A man raped her and put her in there and put her in there probably realistically that's definitely what all murders are related to yeah doing nasty things did you watch that uh documentary about the the uh like what the

fuck it was it's like a haunted house where you it's like twenty thousand dollar reward if you can get through the haunted house no it's fucking gly. They'll like scare the shit out of you. They won't let you quit. They're like, they'll basically have to sign a waiver saying they can like rip your teeth out, shave your head. They can fuck you up. They can like try and drown you and shit like that.

That doesn't really sound like a haunted house as more as it sounds just like a fucking, like a real escape room. Yeah. They like are fully torturing you, but I don't think you get to escape. They'll like tie you up or like put you like blindfold you right away. Where is this?

Can't be in America. It's in America. Really? It's a guy that goes like state to state, like bending the legality of it. And they'll like outlaw him in one state and he'll go somewhere else, but it's still like live right now. I don't think so,

but it's like a 27,000 person waiting list to get on this. People are like dying to get spooked. Everyone's probably like, I could get through it. Yeah. Well, that's what I was trying to wonder is like, are the people that do that, are they, do they love to be scared? And they think that it's like a thrill. People who love to go on rides and go to scary movies.

Or are they people who think they're such hard asses that they're not going to be phased by anything? It's gotta be 50, 50. Yeah. I'd go like 70, 30. I bet it's a lot of hard asses who are like not going to be phased by anything. It's gotta be 50, 50. Yeah. I'd go like 70, 30. I bet it's a lot of hard asses who are like, I don't get scared.

Some of the people were like, I just want to be famous. Cause I guess they put everything on YouTube. They just want to be, I don't even think that's like getting scared though. That's not like, Oh, I'm like pop outs in movies really get me jumping.

That's like, if someone's tying you up, that's not like, that's like not, I don't think that's like scared as much as that's like if someone's tying you up that's not like that's like not i don't think that's like scared as much as that's like legitimate discomfort and physical pain yeah right that's not like oh i'm spooked or people just watch like 50 shades of gray and they're like tricking themselves into thinking it's kinky they pop a viagra before they go through the haunted house. This is fucking awesome. Just going through rock hard. Passing around the blue chews to you and all your friends.

It's going to be fucking nuts. They're going to tie us up and beat the shit out of us. Asking the zombie to sign your pouch of blue chews. Sign your tin of blue chews. That's crazy. Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Where did you watch this? I think it was on, I don't know. I came out after the Fred Again concert the next morning and everybody was just watching it already.

I got to check that out. I'm about to be done with Yellow Jacket, so I need something new to watch. Yeah. Enjoy season one while you can, bro. I'm about to finish season two. Oh, you are? Yeah. Oh, I didn't watch season two.

I couldn't. You still like it? Yeah, it's good. It's just uh you know like based on the first episode that you watch you're kind of like oh this is going to be a mini series right like the stuff that they show

in the first episode still has not happened and I'm like 18 episodes in yeah like in the opening sequence they're all wearing masks you think there's cannibalism yeah there's no cannibalism. Yeah. Oh, there is.

No, you haven't watched second season. Oh, there is cannibalism in the second season? Yeah, but there's still, it still is in that like, where they're like hunting each other with like booby traps and stuff. That, that like just kind of started happening. Yeah, I can't. They didn't have my attention for long enough. Oh, I love it.

I had to go back to the algorithm. Yeah. I need to get some serious. I need to sink my fucking teeth into something now that football's over. Oh, man. Now that the Eagles have one single loss. I know. I mean, yeah.

What did you guys go last year? 11-0 until you lost? Maybe. Was it 11? I thought it was like 8-0. I think it was 11. I thought it was 8-0 and we lost to Washington. I know we lost to Washington though. But we have the Dolphins this week who look fucking...

That'll be a good game. They look like a juggernaut. Yeah, they're good. I mean, no matchup for the Bills, but they are good. But the Bills lost to the... To the Jets yeah yeah

but they beat the they beat the they beat the Dolphins 48-20 it's a lot of parity dude no one goes undefeated last year the Chiefs lost to the Colts yeah yeah

anything could happen bro I need hope in my life right now it's hard to win an NFL game I've been saying that it's not easy to win a game in the NFL no matter who the team is you sank some money into some bets yesterday? Yeah, I lost every single bet.

I lost every single bet. That's why you're coming in nasty today. Because you have the disbelief in yourself. You're trying to drag someone down with you. You want to hear something that sucks? I won't talk about it for too long because I know people don't like the betting talk. But I had Saquon Barkley to score the third touchdown of the game. And they did not,

they, they, they were at the one yard line and they have Saquon Barkley lined up to run it. And they throw the ball. Why the fuck did you bet someone third touchdown? It was alive. I've bet it in the fourth quarter.

Like next touchdown will be him. Yeah. I was like, I was like, okay, the, the bills are gonna lose but I'll hit this bet

I would have rather the bills lost to be fully honest I would have rather yeah the odds were like plus like 2800 fuck

we would have been rich I know you would have been paying for our four Charles exactly you would have been paying the man with the gloves to cut the fucking egg

whatever the black latex gloves yeah why do they gotta wear those gloves BDSM dude they watch Fifty Shades of Grey the fucking egg burger or whatever. The black latex gloves. Why do they got to wear those gloves? BDSM, dude. They watch Fifty Shades of Grey. That feels sexual. The black gloves

where they're like grabbing the fucking brisket and like ripping it apart. You know what feels sexual is whenever dudes slice their bacon, egg, and cheese

fucking open and then like pull it apart like this. Yeah, they're like, oh. And they're like squeezing it while the eggs like drip down yeah like it's like dude just fucking eat the sandwich yeah you nasty pervert no one's ever seen that angle of a sandwich and been like holy shit that looks good and it's just like you never know it's like porn like you're never considering the cameraman

no there's like someone like straddling over that you can't try to try to do that shot with yourself like opening a sandwich with yourself you need both of your hands yeah so someone has their balls over your forehead fucking or like hugging you from behind it's fucking foul i mean dude those those never look good like the the videos of the fucking the them cutting open the cheeseburgers and the cheeseburger bun is like filled with like cheese and then it just starts pouring everywhere it's like so then how do you eat that with like a fork and knife yeah it's just messy as fuck any type of thing where you have to like cut open an egg and it's gonna just bleed all over that's got to be fork food that's just like a scramble like you can't have a sandwich that or like some like i got like avocado toast that had like an

egg on top of it like that and made it impossible to eat it was just a fucking mess that's criminal i was at brunch student having it and it just made me realize that black people do brunch so much better well they like party at brunch yeah have you ever seen the brunches in like miami it's insane how much better black people do brunch yeah it's not like the white people brunch where you go and you sit down and you're like, I guess I'll do a mimosa. Yeah. Where you're like so hungover. Yeah. Wearing like a hoodie

like talking about like the person you didn't mean to have sex with last night. Black dudes like Papa Molly before brunch. Like in a full orange suit. They have like a fucking wide brim Balenciaga hat on or some shit like that. And like do entrances.

It's crazy. Black people are so much better at brunch. Yeah. Where did you go? Like some shit stupid restaurant in my neighborhood that was serving Australian food. Meanwhile, there's like black people standing at the top of a limousine going past. Like on their way to fucking look like a quinceanera. It is crazy.

They're so much better at brunch. I've been seeing those videos online. They fucking step out and they have like see-through sunglasses and like a Stacey Adams like tailored suit. Yeah. All of their brunches have live DJs. Yeah. It looks so fun.

It's like people, white people come hung over to brunch. Black people like don't drink for a couple nights beforehand to save up for the brunch yeah to lock in well that's how like what za and uh danny did yeah they'll get wheelbarrowed out in a fucking ton of in like a bunch of cash there's probably like 50 50 raffles going on they're like sucking down like lobster tails and shit white people brunch is going to like a jewish diner and like a fucking drugged out fry cook flipping a greasy ass omelet white people are so much better at

brunch i've never been a big brunch guy black people are so much better at brunch yeah white people are better at changing the batteries of their smoke detectors that's true that is a good one we got that on lock but black people are better at brunch. You're not a brunch guy? No, I've never really been a brunch guy. I mean, I've always been kind of just wake up,

order some fucking slop, power it down. I like going out for my slop, but I like a trash diner. Like I'm like a quintessential white.

Yeah, I like a diner too. Like a shitty one. Not like an elevated Guy Fieri diner that has like hollandaise sauce and like an eggs benedict with like some crazy fish or some shit like that. I want a sloppy ass omelet. I need two eggs, two links, two slices of toast. Like snow patties? I think I'm links over patties too.

I'm definitely links over patties. What about for a sandwich? Definitely patties, bro definitely links over patties What about for a sandwich? Definitely patties bro Come on now But sometimes they'll slice two links In a sandwich And make them Make them flat

I don't hate that It's kind of nice You prefer like a Snappy Italian sausage Or like a breakfast sausage Like a Jimmy Dean Like a brown one That looks like

A perfect turd You know the answer bro The brown ones Brown ones? Yeah I got sausages this weekend we went out to breakfast and uh i got fucking they got the snappy ones i don't like the snap i love sausage yeah me too it's so good i've actually kind of recently become more of a

sausage over bacon guy same yeah i am too there's just such a higher upside yeah bacon can suck sometimes every bite of bacon isn't as good as just the spice of the sausage oh and it's how it's like hurtling you towards death you think bacon's unhealthy oh yeah sausage those breakfast sausages that like you're like my mom would like microwave at home are like i think they're literally the worst thing you can put in your body yeah like over like cigarettes they will stop heart. They will like clog all of your arteries and then whatever your microwave

and the radiation is like a little extra little extra treat for you. Yeah. I think like sausages and hot dogs are like the worst thing you can put in your body.

Yeah. And like turkey cold cuts. I know. All of that shit is so bad for you. Turkey has me spooked. So heavily processed. Yeah.

I mean, obviously I'm like everybody else for fucking decades. I was eating turkey as my healthy choice. Oh processed yeah i mean obviously i'm like everybody else for fucking decades i was eating turkey as my healthy choice oh yeah and now it's like i mean turkey sandwiches are there's nothing good in them now they're really bad for you there's nothing redeeming but they still i still feel like they have to be better than like i don't know a burger yeah a bacon egg and cheese now bacon egg and cheese is healthy i don't care what anyone says that's a good meal getting a bacon egg and cheese during the week is like one of the fattest grossest things you could do all right i like that's like how i start most of my days yeah it's

so gross what do you have for breakfast you don't even eat breakfast you get fucking piss water exactly and you call it a day exactly that's crazy that's like what that's we were raised to believe that that is what you should have for breakfast every day it's a bacon egg and cheese and that was like kellogg being like we're gonna kill the kids no kellogg was like here eat our fucking fruit soup or our sugar soup they were like part of this complete breakfast and it would be like 32 ounces of orange juice, 120 grams of sugar. It really is like the worst possible way to start your day. It'd be like one stick of butter.

What are you supposed to have? Like granola and yogurt? Not even granola. You're supposed to have like fucking- Fruit? Yeah, like diced fruit and like Greek yogurt or some shit. Yeah, so pretty much exactly what I just said, just minus the granola.

Yeah, but granola's all sugar. No, granola's not bad for you. Or like oats, oatmeal. I got bad, or like oats i got bad or like oats plain steel cut oats but granola in and of itself covered in sugar everything everything you have anything you want to enjoy in your life is going to be fucking you is this just in america because i saw a video the other day of some girl being like i ate 10 times more when i was in italy and i lost weight well it's because they were walking everywhere yeah true everybody loves to say that

coming back from Italy. Yeah. Fucking frauds. Fucking idiot frauds. Poverty country. I love that phrase, dude. Poverty country. Poverty franchise.

So funny. Benny Balls was talking all last week how he doesn't want to go to Italy. He like thinks it's trash. Dude, Glennie would be like a king in Italy. I know. Big guy like him. It would be like a king in italy i know big guy like him he'd have like two it would be like in the white lotus he'd have two like prostitutes feeding him sausage yeah like he they would be fucking loving him isn't he like sopranos as a personality yeah and he's like i'd

rather go to scandinavian countries why italy is awesome i don't know who wouldn't want to go to italy exactly it's like the one best country that everybody can agree on. They just mind their own business. Fucking. They don't like despise the tourists as much as other countries do. France. France despise the tourists. France like wants to murder the tourists.

Yeah. I might go. There's no way I'm going to France. I can't go to Paris. I'm not going to go to Paris. Subject myself to that. Yeah. It's mid. Paris is poverty city. Poverty city. Big time. Yeah. It's like, I mean, well, the people

who live there today would be like, it's all overrun by like tourists and immigrants. Oh yeah. Well, what can you do about that? Yeah. I'm pro immigrant. Are you? Sue me. Open borders. Yeah. Wait till I bust a fucking ton of immigrants and drop them in your little fucking West Village apartment. We don't let them in there. We like to keep it pure. I'm going to have a greyhound full of... We're chatting West Village. Panamanians and drop them off

at your fucking West Village apartment. I would be fine with that. No, you wouldn't. Yeah, I would. All of them playing high lie in the streets. All of them playing stick baseball in the streets like it's the 1940s as long as they're just having a good time playing ringo levio doesn't bother me no dude you wouldn't like it how did you uh did you have a good day of rage what do you mean the day of jihad did you celebrate oh on friday yeah i was seat 1a of i'm still coming down i was fucking i was gearing

myself up 1a yo you yeah that's you got to be ready to brawl yeah oh i was ready to square off yeah i was like i need to sacrifice my entire body yeah probably not the best idea for the jihadists to announce their day of jihad right i feel like that's kind of something you'd want to keep like low-key like maybe keep that in the group chat not like go into time square and be like tomorrow's gonna be fucking crazy yo wait till jihad tomorrow i wasn't someone said in new york that every single cop had to wear their uniform that day at the airport the fucking trucks that they had there god dude when did you fly on friday out of la guardia yeah friday morning it was the the line

to get into security wasn't bad bad. The line after you had put your bag through the machine, were you waiting there for like 40 minutes? Oh God, no. I get to the, I get to the airport as my shit is boarding. Me too. It didn't take me any 40 minutes. Oh dude, they scanned every single bag for like 10 minutes and then searched them. Really? They searched my bag. There was nothing in the bag. They probably, it's like a sweet spot that like uh jihad has to happen in like the mid-morning yeah by afternoon like no one's jihadi they're still jet lagged super in the early in the morning it's like they're yeah the time zones fuck those guys up that's why 9 11 happened so early it was fucking like 6 p.m their time yeah they're finally ready.

Wait for the orders. They had to wait for everyone to wake up back home to fucking give them the A-OK to fucking launch it. Dude, my mom was texting me like crazy. Just being like I'm so happy you're not in the city right now. I don't really think West Village is going to be a hot spot for the jihadists. The jihadists are going to be blowing up the fucking

three-story buildings. We're going to go to Jack's Wife Freedom. They hate our freedom.ida. They hate our freedom. Yeah. They hate our freedom at Redline. Our freedom to have shitty cover bands until four in the morning. Yeah. It's fucking, people in this office were like on Friday or like on Thursday, they were like

bugging out. Yeah. I'm going up. I'm going up. I'm getting out of town. Hubs. They were like, they were like bugging out yeah i'm going up i'm going up getting out of town hubs they were like they're like bugging out yeah they're like i heard fucking it's gonna be bad well because the problem is it's fucked up but there is a part in everyone where they're like a little excited you know what i mean like the suspense is a little exciting

because and i know it sounds weird to say, but I think everyone has that deep down. Well, why do you think it's like the equivalent of like there being a blizzard like one day before school and you're like, Oh my God, what's going to,

are we going to have to stay in our apartments again? You're checking the bottom line of the news. Exactly. Any news? Yeah. You're checking New York city, going to latest on Twitter because the chances are, it's not going to happen to you.

Exactly. It'll happen somewhere else in the city. And the people who were here in New York on 9-11, it was enviable to have a story about it. Oh, yeah, of course. That's why so many people lie about it. The guy from the league, Steve Raznov. Yeah, he was in the towers.

Yeah, because it was such a good story. It was like so much social currency to lie about September 11th and have some good shit happen. Yeah. Just spook everybody. There's nothing. There's hasn't been any stories since then. Like any good ones.

Like they tried to do it with the Boston Marathon, but those stories were our ass. No one cared. And January 6th, we all have to lie about where we were. Exactly. Yeah. Can't even tell the truth. All those people like there's like uh videos of people going through uh like nancy pelosi's desk and i didn't realize they were like going in her like

taking her hard drives like that like they were downloading everything off of her computers it's so funny that just like all these like florida citizens were coming up thinking that they were about to commence part of me does feel a little bad for those guys because it's kind of like one of those situations where you do something and you're like you're not really thinking like this is gonna be a problem at all it's like a walk out from school yeah they're probably like this is like hilarious like we're just fucking up and we're just fucking around in the capital and next thing you know they're like boarding their plane to go back home after a fucking relaxing vacation and tsa is is like, you're a registered terrorist.

This is 28 years. You're going to jail for life. What the fuck? Because they were probably in there being like, well, they can't arrest all of us. Yeah, exactly. What are they going to get all of us? Yeah. It's like, all right, guys, get the heck out of here.

It's like when you see someone speeding and you're speeding too. And you're like, well, they're not going to pull us both over. Or like a bunch of motorcycles driving together. Yeah. It's like, maybe they'll catch one. Yeah. They're not going to catch everybody. they're not going to pull us both over. Or like a bunch of motorcycles driving together. It's like, maybe they'll catch one. They're not going to catch everybody. They're not going to run everybody's license plates. Little do they know, heavily documenting the entire thing

did not end up being a good idea. In the most like filmed sanctuary of government. They like hired freelance video guys. Did the freelance video guys get arrested too? No. They're good? I doubt it. Journalists? But if you went in the building as a journalist, They're good. I doubt it. Journalists. But if you went in the building as a journalist, are you good to go?

Probably. If they handed their tape over. Yeah. I feel like these are all the guys. They made a plea deal or something like that. I would assume so. Damn. It makes you wish you were in there.

But nobody can tell the stories. Nobody's like, oh, this fucking awesome thing happened. No, that's got to be a bummer. I know. To be one of the guys that went and didn't get caught. He's probably at a bar all the time. Just shit face. Just be like, I got to tell you.

I got to tell you a good story for you. He's in Tampa. And then he has to end it every time. Like, no, I'm just fucking around. Or maybe I didn't. Yeah, that never happened. Or maybe I did. Or maybe I didn't. Yeah. One of happened. Or maybe I did. Or maybe I didn't.

Yeah. One of those dudes definitely blew a load in the fucking Capitol. Someone definitely like goofily jacked off in the Capitol. Someone probably got in there and had like nervous diarrhea and had to instantly just be like, where's the bathroom at? I'm going to shit my pants. Someone shit or come themselves at the,

at during that time. Yeah. It's a hundred percent fact. Someone had a little bit of a year of a blue Yoda. They were fucking tripping their balls off. They unknowingly pissed themselves. Oh man. I'm surprised they're not storming like any other buildings at all.

Like there's no, there hasn't really been any storming since then. It's because they didn't know it was that bad. I thought there would be like an uptick since then. No, because everyone got in so much trouble. They made an example out of everybody. It sucks. It's the tightest the country's ever been.

I know. That was a good day. It was loose. Even that. It was loose. No one really, or that one person died. But it was like, that was like an exciting day. Everyone in here was watching the news and you're like, holy shit.

They're really in the Capitol? That's crazy. It gave you the right the news and you're like, holy shit. They're really in the Capitol. That's crazy. It gave you the right to be funny again. Yeah, exactly. That was your first day being funny at Barstow. Yeah. You get to crack jokes. It's a good time. Everyone had waited for so long. Yeah. Dumb numbies. Actually, you were the first person to joke that day. Yeah. People got mad at me because people wanted it to be something that it wasn't. It really was not that big of a deal like i know like we lie and are like that was worse than pearl harbor isn't that what kamala harris said yeah she was like it was 9 11 pearl harbor and in january 6th it's like no not even close

yeah that's insane yeah because they want it to be the same thing with like the day of like jihad yeah everybody like wanted it to be that so bad. The day of jihad might go down as the worst day of all time for jihadists. I mean, talk about a poverty franchise. They were exposed. Jihadism was exposed on Friday. Those boys look real soft. Jihad's looking shaky, baby.

I don't know what happened to the jihadist but it used to mean something yeah that was like they used to terror they used to really inspire terror yeah now we're laughing at them yeah i mean they became a meme on twitter it's because people shut that shit down it's because i mean as soon as the patriot act got kicked, like there's nobody that has an, even a threat of a jihad. That's not like being so heavily washed. Like there's probably someone in their own family. Like they're married to a special agent. Yeah.

Yeah. A hundred percent. They know everything. Isn't it crazy how like so much of spy craft through all of history was just like women fucking powerful dudes and getting the information out of them. Yeah. It's a power move. I think that that's like almost how all of like spying got done is like women fucking powerful dudes and getting the information out of them. Yeah. It's a power move.

I think that that's like almost how all of like spying got done is like either a woman fucked a powerful guy and got the information out of him or a man sent a woman to fuck a guy and then blackmailed him with the information. Yeah. Unless the guy wound up being gay in which you just send a man to fuck him. And then you got like double blackmail. You're like, oh, you're a terrorist and you're gay. That's crazy. Or a politician.

That's two things. Yeah. Yeah. Which is fucking equally bad. What's the difference, obviously? Truth. What's the difference between a terrorist and a fucking politician? Same shit, man.

I honestly trust the terrorists more. At least they don't fucking, they're up front with what they're saying. At least they'll be honest about it. Actually, well, with day of jihad. When you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference? That's from The Departed. One of the fucking,

one of the NFL players this past week, I think tweeted out like, lions don't concern themselves with opinions of sheep. Oh really? That's a good one. I couldn't believe it.

Not even, it was like somebody on, I think it was a giant receiver. No, it was like a O-lineman on the giant. Really? Yeah. O-lineman shouldn't even be allowed to tweet.

Twitter is strictly for the wide receivers. They're supposed to be the intelligent ones. Yeah. O-lineman are supposed to be like nuclear physicists who like are just like beefy yeah and they just had to get it out of their system yeah dude no one tweets more than wide receivers all those dudes do is tweet they're tweeting like during halftime yeah and it's the dumbest shit and it's like shit that doesn't even it's not even like doesn't even make sense it's just like a combination of words. It's either cryptic. It's like the art of war. Yeah.

It's like 50 laws of power mixed with a t-shirt you'd buy on the boardwalk. Wide receivers tweet the same way that all those TikTok dudes used to tweet. Yeah. It really is sad. They'll see. Dot, dot, dot.

Stefan Diggs. 21 Savage. Yeah. High school drug dealer. Yeah, it is. They're like SoundCloud Savage. Yeah. Yeah. High school drug dealer. Yeah, it is. They're like SoundCloud rappers. It's crazy. We're just like mildly cryptic shit.

It's all cryptic. Like the hand with the knife conceals the hawk. Oh man. The eagle descends at midnight, but the rat will be exposed. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about, brother? You were already stupid. Now you're being cussed. I don't want to hear it, brother.

Man. Man, oh man. Where are you going this weekend? Nowhere. I'm in the city. Are you in the city? Team bonding. Should we kick it to an ad? Yeah, let's kick it to an ad.

Alright, happy to be back from that fucking advertisement. Where are you at this weekend? I don't know. I'm trying to get out of town. Yeah? But I also have this nagging thing in the back of my mind that I don't deserve anything. You know what I mean? Why? Is this all because of the Eagles? Probably.

Have you ever got that feeling? Yeah. Or you just like feel like you don't deserve anything bro is this all cause of the birds uh probably dude

what about the fillies they're doing well they're doing great yeah but you just kind of know that's not going to end how you want it to it never does

it never ever does dude you should try being from Boston Massachusetts yeah ruins are unbelievable again this year. Celtics. Are they?

Yeah. No, you can't root for the Celtics this year. I'm not going to be a Celtics fan. I'm very... You can't. Tyler, you can't either, honestly. I don't really give a fuck about basketball. Just slap in the face to Pat Bev.

Nah. Just slap in the face to your coworkers. I'm rooting for Tide. I wish they tied in the preseason twice. No, less of that. No, no, no. Yeah, your dad, Sass' dad wouldn't like that one bit. My dad is a big Celtics fan.

Yeah, same. But he doesn't like ties, though. Your dad just hated ties. He does hate ties. He says, did you win? And you go, no. And he goes, well, then you lost. Yeah.

It's true. And so that you're basically rooting for losses. He was on the Lakers last year. That was the same shit. It's fucked. This is absolutely fucked. I can't condone this. But yeah.

Sports are destroying your life. I know. Maybe you just got to turn them off. I know. Stop being a fan. Maybe I should, honestly. I need a whole other thing. I need to get into like woodwork or some shit like that.

Yeah, that would be fun. I need to like fucking. Or like drawing. Maybe you could just start drawing. Painting. I met an illustrator this weekend and the guy was like i don't have a fucking ounce of god-given talent in my body he was our cab driver in tennessee and then he positive conversation no then he showed me his

fucking his work and it was the best illustrations i've ever seen it was like busty vixens of world war ii and it was just like hot women from like Germany and France like going to kill Nazis. It was the sickest illustrations I've ever fucking seen in my life. He's like, I have no natural talent. And he showed me his portfolio and it fucking ruled. He has like this long series about a time traveling janitor and I

like, I think this dude's next up. That's cool. Yes, he was an obese 50 plus year old from Tennessee, from Knoxville, Tennessee, but I still think he's next up. We should get him on the pod. You think so? Yeah. That is cool. Yes, he was an obese 50-plus-year-old from Tennessee, from Knoxville, Tennessee, but I still think he's next up. We should get him on the pod. You think so? Yeah. That is cool, like rewriting World War II with just hot babes.

Right. Killing the Nazis. That's what the glorious bastard does. Yeah? Yeah. But even being able to draw so good that you can get horny off of it. Oh, yeah. I mean, do you remember when I was in that Uber?

What was that? I don't think I do remember when you were in that uber remember when i was in that uber i talked about on the yak and i and i the dude had a qr code on the back of his car he was like check out my art and then i opened up his art and it was just like the most intense pornographic drawings i've ever seen like literally like drawings of like dicks like leaking cum oh and it was just just posted up in the back of his Uber. And I was like, what the fuck, dude? Dude, look at this guy's shit, dude.

It's the... This is the dude. And then it's the... Alright, let's take a second and talk about GameTime. GameTime, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports and my favorite advertiser that we have. Yeah?

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Yeah. The one dude was so jacked. Oh, really? It was awesome. That's good. Yeah, it was like, made me think that we should talk about going to the gym more often, Yeah. The one dude was so jacked. Oh, really? It was awesome. That's good. Yeah. It was like, it was like, made me think that we should talk about going to the gym more often because he was in such good shape that I felt like we were positively.

Yeah, we probably changed his life. Yeah, we did. All right. Let's talk about better help. Son of a boy that is sponsored by better help. Do you ever feel like your brain is getting in your own, in its own way? Yep. Little, you know what you should, like, you know, what you should do,

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of World War II. Those are sick. They're fucking sick. And then here's Bud Colbert, the time-traveling, the time-traveling janitor. Pussies rip my flesh, dude.

He just has, he has, he's so fucking sick. Those are actually super cool. It's fucking amazing. I would buy one of those I know I'm about to blow this dude up

is he selling them? you know how a Korean kid will get on TikTok and be like my grandma owns this store and no one ever comes by and then the next day there's a line around the fucking neighborhood that is like a hack you're never done like

it's like you always still have a chance of of doing what you want to do if you just have like a tech savvy grandchild child i know and i think that that's gonna just change your life make you look like the most depressing piece of shit of all time online because a lot of times a lot of sympathy fans like those stores look like they suck yeah because they probably do there's a reason that no one goes to them. Right. Like this, there's nothing on the shelves is poorly marketed. They just have like stacks of like sponges and like fucking baking powder and shit like that. Like no one comes to my store.

It's like, we have enough sponges. It's not trying to sell me fucking sponges. Literally. It's like someone who decided halfway through their life that they wanted to quit their job and start making sponges from hand. Yeah. Like this is what I've always wanted to do. It's a dream of mine.

I'm starting a sponge company and I think it's going to blow up. Me and my dad used to make jokes about that when we were, when I was young and we would drive to go play hockey and we'd pass all these like, cause there's just like thousands of coffee shops everywhere. And most of them, they're a single person has not been in there in 20 years. I'm like, how do you think that starts? Because people are like, we have a clever name. We're going to call it mug shots. Yeah. But it's got to be a dude who's like having a midlife crisis.

And he's like, honey, I quit my job. I'm going to open up fucking, yeah, mug shots. And we couldn't really get a good space. So it's in the side of a fucking garage. But it'll be like rustic and cool. Yeah, it's going gonna be great i'm gonna hire a bunch of baristas that i want to fuck it won't have a strain on our marriage a bunch of hot ass baristas like a bunch of hot ass disinterested underqualified baristas

who have like uh nipple piercings and like books it won't have a strain on our marriage i'm gonna pay them all way too much yeah you'll actually have to get another job supporting us now, but you can't work at the coffee shop because it's not how I want to represent myself in my midlife crisis. It's record player guys. Honestly, you got to be fucking careful. It's record player, Bob Dylan guys that wind up like, Oh yeah. Big time. It definitely is. It's like they have two like shitty old scones. Like, yeah, we're a bakery too no you're not dude this shit sucks bakeries go out of business a lot and is it so hard dude no one's eating fresh bread anymore yeah the hell's going on but then again i go to fucking italy i fucking eat nothing all i eat is

fresh bread and i lose 100 pounds exactly they got got fucking Ozempic in the bread over there. I know. Oh, oh, oh, Ozempic. Auto parts. Auto parts. They said that they're about to come out with something way stronger than Ozempic. Really? Yeah.

Because I'm trying to get like sickly skinny. Cocaine. Cocaine. Yeah. That's a good one. Adderall. It's bullshit now because they're like, there's so many ads on television trying to really spook you about cocaine. Yeah. That's a good one. Adderall. It's bullshit now because they're like, there's so many ads on television trying to really spook you about cocaine.

Really? I haven't seen any of those. Well, I mean, cause the fentanyl, where are you seeing these ads on like broadcast television? It'll be like during the football game. Really?

Fentanyl is in everything. All of my ads on football are AI ads. Like for what kind of AI I don't know it's just Matthew McConaughey being like AI is gonna take over the world pro or anti in the best way possible you haven't seen these

no one does but he just stopped doing movies and he just all he does is like Lincoln ads AI ads Texas games when did he do when was the last time well he's trying to like run for like governor, isn't he? Or like mayor? Some shit. I thought he was like trying to get involved in politics. I might be out on

McConaughey. No, don't say that. I think I am. That's crazy. You got to rewatch fucking Dallas Buyers Club. Never watched Dallas Buyers Club. Oh, that's a great movie. Didn't like him in what was that? Well, he's barely in that. He's in that uh oh what was that well he's barely in that he's in that for like five minutes and he's still in his dallas buyers club body looks like shit you

should watch uh lincoln lawyers i guess that was all right but that was back in the day mud that's like giving mud that's like giving justin timberlake credit for future sex love sounds i've never seen that you never first off it's an album oh but it was an HBO

concert series best concert series of all time really this is like 2008 like I'm not about to be sucking him off for some shit

he did in 08 I love McConaughey well you can fucking go down with the shit then I'm out on you too then oh interstellar interstellar

phenomenal they could have plugged in anybody in that role oh dude what can go down with the ship then come out on you too then oh interstellar interstellar phenomenal they could have plugged in anybody in that role oh dude what anybody system quarterback yeah system quarterback honestly they probably wish they had matt damon dude this is crazy matt damon in the market you're not acting like yourself man what's going on this feels like this is coming from somewhere deeper five and one this is all from the eagles losing i admire it too. I wish I cared about like I like football, but not to the point where I'd be like sad

the next day. Like I'd be sad. You don't got to take it out on McConaughey, dude. He didn't do anything wrong. What is he a Cowboys fan? McConaughey should have should have died in Dallas Byron. Oh, no,

no, not Matty Mack. in Dallas Buyers Club. Bro! No! No! Not Matty Mac! I love his commercials! Come on! Oh, man. Who's going to do the AI commercial? It's probably not even him.

It's probably an AI of McConaughey. It probably is, you're right. And they probably just used his likeness. He probably agreed to cross the picket line at the writer's strike or whatever. Like, listen, we'll fucking screw everybody else with else with ai yeah they really hopped back on the fucking that shit they revamped fast like their strike ended in snl and all the daily shows came out like the next day that strike was good for the top percentage of all writers oh so good and it sucks for every other person that wants to be a writer. Everybody who buys Netflix,

everybody that consumes movies, that shit, that shit. I mean, Jimmy Fallon probably got the most drunk anyone's ever gotten. Oh my God. Six months straight. Just fucking like can't stand drunk.

Yeah. He was just like throwing himself down stairways, just like breaking into like random businesses and like singing songs. Oh yeah. Like breaking into piano stores and like trying to like sing a fucking. Do a Bob Dylan fucking impression. Yeah. How does it feel?

It feels like it's 9am on a Wednesday. Go fuck out of here. Go to bed, Jimmy. Go to bed, Jimmy. That's probably why they ended the strike. Jimmy's going to die. Have you seen Jimmy Fallon's eyes? They're yellow and jaundiced.

His liver's failing right in front of us. We need him to get to work. Oh, man. Classic Jimmy. Do Atlantis more set, Jimmy. Do the troll song. Maybe it was because they came out with that podcast and they were like, yeah, this is bad. Right.

Leave it to the pros, alright? Yeah, come on. Podcasts are not for A-list. Just because your fucking little TV show is failing. F-list. For F-list celebrities. Let us F-ies get on here. Zach F-list. Like Zac Efron.

Oh, shit. For honor of mentions under the list. Oh man, we got to do something about these birds. Are you, I think, I think the problem is I think you're upset about the jets loss, which I get it. Who wouldn't be?

I mean, the Patriots could never lose to the jets. That would never happen. One win all season. They beat the jets. But I feel like you're, I think this is coming from a place of anxiety where you're worried about the dolphins game as well.

Next week. Dolphins are putting up like 70 points a game. They're unbelievable. We can't stop anybody. Yeah. Can't stop a nosebleed. Yeah. I don't know,

man. What do you think is going to happen? I don't know. I think I'm going to get into community service, go to a soup kitchen or something like that. Start giving back. Yeah. I'm going to film myself giving sandwiches to homeless to a soup kitchen or something like that. Start giving back. I'm going to film myself giving sandwiches to homeless people.

What are you going to do for that game? I think I'm going to go to the fucking Little Sisters of the Poor. You're not even going to watch? I'm going to volunteer. You're just going to have to distract yourself with volunteering for homeless people? I'm going to give styrofoam containers

of food to homeless people. When they going to like give like, like styrofoam containers of food to homeless people. And then when they look inside and be like, what is this? Like, I don't like this. I'm going to freak the fuck out of them and like spaz out.

Go birds. Yeah. Maybe you should go down. Where are they playing it? Miami. You're going to go down? Actually, no,

it's in Philly. Are you going to go? No. Why? I don't want to. I would go. I'll go with you. No, I think I'm going to leave? No. Why? I don't want to. I would go. I'll go with you. No, I think I'm going to leave the country this weekend.

This is crazy. We got to get you out of this rut. I'm just going to go out of the country. This is the most depressed I've ever seen you. This is worse than when the fucking Phillies and the Eagles both lost in the finals last year. That's crazy. You have had a rough year. I know. This is bad. But the Eagles are still like the, one of the best teams. Like they're at least top 10.

It's not what you were saying earlier. No, I mean, they're frauds and they're a poverty franchise, but I would say they're like, if they're not top 10, they're top 15 teams in the league right now. So top half.

Yeah. Yeah. That's love. They're like right around where the Patriots are. Yeah. They're close. I mean, see the power rankings of all your favorite

teams. Favorite teams or best teams? Of all your best favorite teams. My best favorite teams. Alright. Best teams in the NFL right now. Bills number one. What about your Dolphins? Well, I haven't finished. Okay, so Bills over one. What about your Dolphins? Well, I haven't finished. Okay, so Bills over Dolphins.

Yeah, I mean the Bills beat the Dolphins 48-40. Copy, copy, copy. I would go Bills, Dolphins, Jets, Patriots. Patriots beat the Jets. Yeah, but the Jets beat the Eagles. Okay. Wait, all your favorite teams are in the AFC East? No this is

these are not my favorite teams these are the best teams in the NFL right now I'm ranking the best teams in the NFL okay so all the best teams are in the AFC East got it got it I'm going to redo it Bills Jets so we lost to the

second best team in the league so that's why I'm saying you shouldn't be that upset So we lost to the second best team in the league Yeah So that's why I'm saying you shouldn't be that upset Is it poverty or no? It's poverty Shoot me straight doc Alright best teams in the NFL There's beauty in it

But the Jets were the worst team in the NFL until this week Right and now they're number two So Bills are the best team in the NFL Jets're number two. Right. So bills are the best team in the NFL. Jets are number two. There's beauty in the struggle, ugliness in a success. Patriots are definitely not number three,

probably number four. I'd go dolphins, Patriots, Cleveland, Bengals, Chiefs, 49ers, Eagles.

So 10th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then maybe Raiders. Okay. I like that list. Yeah. It's not a bad list.

I like that list. Yeah. That's a list of someone who really knows. Top five for college. Top five for college. Shit. I don't watch a lot of college. Um, Stanford. Number one. That that was huge that was a big one the bachmeyer family yeah uh alabama world tied penn state

okay huge huge game this weekend against ohio state yeah hey we can all get together on that one yeah that's a team building, team bonding exercise. MSU. Mississippi State? Michigan State. Michigan State. Michigan. Ole Miss. Providence.

You like Georgia at all? No, Georgia's trash. Frauds. UVA. Oklahoma, Florida State. No, frauds. Um, well, like, uh, UVA, Oklahoma, Florida state. No, for all that trash.

And then poverty, poverty. Okay. So the buffs are still like top buffs are still in it. Oh, actually can we, what did I say was number one? Stanford, Stanford,

Stanford. Can we put Oregon in front of that? No, we already, and then take Colorado off. Okay. Yeah, you can't add it. Throw TCU somewhere in there as well.

You can fuck around with it. Just do any team that beat Colorado and put them in the top three. And then can you just do the Mount Rushmore of fast food chains? Oh, yeah. All right. Yeah.

That would be useful. Should we draft them or do you want me to do them normally? Snake draft or regular draft? Top foot. You know what is, you know, it's a bad fast food chain. What is the ad that I keep on seeing about the new Philly cheesesteak and it just looks fucking terrible.

Wawa? Wawa is really. Is that what it is? Wawa has pizza now and that shit looks grim, dude. Dude. Dude, those are all over Philly now. The Wawa pizza. Unless they want to advertise.

That shit looks. I think it's Arby's. I think they might have made an ad for a cheese steak and it literally looks like someone took a pack of Jack Link's beef jerky and chopped it up and threw it in between bread. And they're like, this, I don't know.

Arby's is fucking disgusting. Arby's is fucking disgusting. You said bacon, egg, and cheeses is the ultimate fat move. If you've ever been to an Arby's by choice and like if there was something else within 500 miles of there and you still chose arby's that's like you have a problem thought about pulling into pulling into an arby's unless you have like explosive diarrhea and you're like yeah yeah sure i'll buy something if you let me use the bathroom that's the only way that it's okay otherwise if you're going to arby's you had some type of like traumatic brain injury as a child they happened bad as a child no like either

either like physical something went to or through your brain or you were like uh you have a repressed memory of abuse or something like that you're trying to cover up like your dad threw you down the stairs and then you went and told your mom and then she also threw you down the stairs it's like why are you snitching on your dad? Those are for, that's what Arby's is for. That's who goes to Arby's. Arby's. The beef. So the beef is gross there.

The fucking rolls are gross there. Dude, everything is gross. The cheese is gross there. Everything is gross there. And I haven't been there in over 15 years. I've never been. And you still know it's gross. Dude, anyone who saw the ad for the Meat Mountain

and was like i gotta go pick one of these up stat yeah let me get my hands on the fucking meat mountain yeah it's only acceptable as if you're trying to accelerate death yeah if it's like you've uh you've like signed away your life to physician assistant suicide and you want dr cavorkian to fucking kill you you want to make it a little bit easier on him. Dude, going to get fast food and getting ham. Like that's what you chose? Getting ham damn near ever.

Is disgusting. Or like bologna. It's crazy that people will just like bologna. Yeah, let me get a double bologna. That grown adults with access to all meat. Bologna is hot dog for flat earthers. It really is. Bologna is so gross, dude. The fact that there's that like ring around the baloney is so nasty.

The fact that you can literally just go and buy just a sphere of baloney. Like a nuclear weapon of baloney. Like a warhead of baloney. It's so fucking gross. It's nasty. Or like pimentoed stuff it just shows that like any goodwill that was built up in like the 1940s when uh like we we just won world war ii is like equally taken away by the fucking stupid shit that they were eating yeah because that's all

that it all spans from then they're like let's all have a fucking roasted ham yeah we're like a fucking let's have turkey we're like fucking the stupidest the stupidest fucking meals i'm out on turkey for thanksgiving big time really yeah that's not like the processed turkey that's the good turkey i know but i still it's like not the ideal meal steak is yeah yeah come on now but no one does it it should be dude if you're gonna ball out on a feast it should be steak no one wants to and if the pilgrims had had steak they would be eating it yeah dude they would not have eaten turkey it's dry as hell all the dark pieces have to go to the fucking older people that are like more respected

in the family yeah i used to get fucking yell that if i would take the dark pieces really grandpa that's grandpa's piece there'd be like two fucking wings and you'd be like 10 years old you're like I'm gonna have one of the wings no you're fucking not we're gonna give you some of this chalk yeah absolutely not

we're gonna give you some of this just the driest crumbliest nothing nastier than dude honestly I'd rather have a rotisserie chicken personal rotisseries

personal rotisseries that'd be fun that does sound way nicer that'd be bomb that does sound way nicer maybe I'll have some halloween candy to cheer my ass up but like what like the fucking uh no candy corn okay of course not we're really hitting all the barstool major topics today i know we're just a little gift for the fucking social team yeah candy corn is so overrated guys can we talk about candy corn underrated or overrated super overrated candy corn is a poverty candy exposed mid candy corn and hershey's bars are having a mid-off

which will farrell movies oh man oh my god you know who's killing it is uh Oh man. Oh my God. You know, who's killing it is, uh, actually, I don't even want to say who I want to keep it negative. Do say,

do tell, do tell. No, no, keep it positive, dude. No, no,

no. I want to keep it negative. No, come on. Tell me. I think we'll cut it out. We'll cut it out. We'll cut it out.

Uh, uh, all the followers of Jesus Christ, everybody who's given up their, their fucking, their, their Sundays to the Lord and savior of Jesus Christ, everybody who's given up their fucking, their Sundays to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It's maybe what I need, a little bit of a church,

a little bit of prayer. Wait, I'm really lost. Where is this coming from? That's who's killing it right now? No, I just don't want to say who's actually killing it. Who? Someone here? No. No, no, no.

I don't know. Who? Tell me who. Large is killing it. Large? Yeah. Do you see him DJing at Alabama? No. He seemed like he was having a blast. Well, Large is like the ultimate good times guy. I've never seen him in a bad mood. Yeah, he is always having fun, having steak. He's like living well. He is. He's like

Ron Swanson. He's just like overloading his uh like the the good responses he just eats like each steak smokes cigars whiskey drinks whiskey drinks wine has rich shit in his life goes and hangs out with college kids just has a fucking blast maybe that's what we got to do maybe we got to go on a little tour a little college tour oh by the way the grammar c show is canceled it is yes no so i'm so upset right now yeah well it just became another show let's book one then no why we're gonna give it some time why because we just had one booked and we canceled it yeah but that was because of also the tickets like we're selling well too of course they were it's the biggest fucking city in the world.

It's a big apple. Well, it became too much. No one wanted to do it. I wanted to do it. I texted you and said, should we do it? And you never replied. Yeah, that was on purpose because I didn't want to answer. Because you didn't want to do it.

No, I just didn't want to answer. And Francis didn't want to do it. I was the only one that wanted to do it. Francis didn't want to do it. I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it. I said I was down. But then in between, I just didn't want to answer. And Francis didn't want to do it. I was the only one that wanted to do it. I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it. I said I was down. But then before, in between, I made other plans.

And so I was going to let whatever happened naturally happened. And I was going to cancel my plans if the show was on. And if the show was off, I was going to continue with my plans. Yeah, so it's not happening. We'll do another one at some point. Can't wait. Let's get a big fucking room. Yeah, let's do the beacon.

Maybe that's what I'll tell my agent. I was like, the reason we didn't do it was because we didn't want to grammar see really guys come on this is fucking don't fucking play with us we want to do the beacon we're getting our own msu downstairs oh the hulu theater yeah that's what alex cooper's doing really yeah i would get tickets to that Just to get a fucking glimpse of those warlocks. Her boobs. Alex Hooper's boobs. Yeah. No one likes Alex Hooper for her boobs.

From the nosebleeds of the Hulu theater. Oh my God. Horny. Alex, I work at Barstool. I love you. Like at a silent moment. Yeah. I love like at a silent moment yeah i love you she's like i love you too i fucking love you alex whenever people do that at concerts it pisses me off yeah dude the fucking uh the what was the game yesterday where they had the moment of silence for like israel and

palestine and it was like yeah they went they were just fucking yapping during the whole thing they did not get silent at all. I was thinking about it. It would be really funny if one team just came out and was like, by the way, we stand with Hamas because they're all coming out with like their fucking AI generated statement, which is,

is war really something that we need to be releasing statements on? Is that really like where we're at? The silence is deafening from a lot of people but who doesn't know like who's like holy shit i just found out that there's a war happening in israel and palestine through the jets through the jets twitter account that's where i found out about it i always think it's funny when like when like uh like small bakeries are trying to like raise money for israel yeah it's like dude the u.s government has you covered yeah we're good they're gonna send over fucking everything yeah like they don't need

like 120 bucks from you i've got no sides you don't no because i don't know enough about it to pick a side well very diplomatic of you yeah that's what everyone unless you're like well educated on it that's what you should be doing. Not picking a side? Yeah. That's how we get to points like these, all right? I'd rather not have a side than be like fake passionate about one side where I know nothing about it. As a gambling man?

Yeah. Israel, easily. Is Israel minus 100,000? Let's not be foolish now. Long odds by Hamas. Yeah. Long odds. And if you got,

if you got Israel live, good on you. Yeah. If you got them for that one brief second that it looked like they were down, that's just good gambling. I mean, I would have taken Palestine first quarter.

Yeah, that's sharp. First quarter, take the points. But I had Israel third touchdown. They were streaming it on HBO Max yeah yeah

it's crazy I might we should try and cook up some side propaganda yeah you should have your you should have your boy which one

the Uber driver I'll make a comic yeah the busty Vixens ruin his life completely we got you a paid gig there is a catch it will destroy your career any hopes of a career

we're gonna need you to be chief propaganda officer yeah they're gonna lie about some stuff but that's that's part of the game yeah i mean what's happening in ukraine that shit just ended you just swap your flag it's crazy that the same like the same porches that were flying ukraine flags have israel flag now yeah you got to have a stance on war everyone that lives in fucking suburban massachusetts needs to have a flag up because that's gonna do a lot you need a stance on white war on the wars that white people are having i just don't get it like was that how it was when like fucking i guess everyone's always yeah it's always been like that peace in the middle east that was like a fucking

80s thing like people vietnam but vietnam they weren't even it wasn't america like rooting for vietnam i feel like that was kind of a really bad war. Well, a lot of hippies were, but hippie bastards. If you don't like America, get the hell out. Have you ever seen forum the 4th of July? I don't think so. That's from that.

It's a great movie. Phenomenal movie. Goddamn communist bastards. That impression burst out of you. Oh yeah. If you don't like America, then get the hell out. Yeah.

And then he realizes that America doesn't even like even like him you ever have you watched oppenheimer yet no he was going to all the communist parties slappenheimer was going to he was dude he was giving sloppy neck to all these fucking female physicists yeah the wives he was on the fucking he's on bobblehead ryan long did a hilarious sketch about that did he just? Just like all of them like interviewing him and they're all like, uh, he was a genius. I mean, he was like one of the smartest people I've ever met.

And then like it goes to another guy and then it goes to Ryan Long. And he's like, he fucked all of our wives. It is funny as hell. Ryan Long had a funny one about choosing sides on the, on the war. Yeah. Yeah.

I saw that as well. Funny guy. He is funny guys. Nice guy too. Nice, funny guy. Strong too. Strong,

nice, funny guy. Oh man. I wasn't meaning to say anything positive about anybody. No, I forgot you're on your negative shit. People are going to, people are going to fucking love it,

dude. What'd you think about Travis Kelsey on the sidelines at the Eagles game? I know a dude that, a little weird. I, I know a dude that, he's on the sidelines at the Eagles game. I know a dude that, uh, a little weird. I know a dude that, he's on the team. I know a dude that's a college assistant coach. Now that was an offensive lineman that,

that fuck Travis Kelsey in the ass. A man had sex with Travis Kelsey. I don't know who fucked who, but I know. All right. Is this breaking? Are we breaking this for the first time? And I don't care.

I'm not like, it's not my judgment call on him either way, but I'm just reporting the news that there's a man who fucked Travis Kelsey. If you thought Travis Kelsey didn't fuck dudes,

that's more crazy. And it's just like, he just fucks everything that walks. He's fluid. Yeah. He's super fluid. But this guy was an O-lineman

and they had a fucking, like a sexual romantic relationship with one another. Like Aaron Hernandez style? Like, yeah, but this guy was a O-lineman and they had a fucking uh like a sexual romantic relationship with one another like Aaron Hernandez style like yeah like Obama style yeah but that's just like that's just because he's like a Travis Kelsey's probably just like a kind of a slut yeah in a cool way cool way no shame to it like he does a couple fucking lines of molly and then he's like I'll fuck anyone yeah we uplift sluts I'm Travis fucking Kelsey back and then he's like, I'll fuck anyone. Yeah, we uplift sluts.

I'm Travis fucking Kelsey. It's backroom shit. It's like backroom Bobby stuff. It's like, you're fucking having a good time. The doors are closed. There's no,

everybody's cameras are in Ziploc bags. Like, of course, you're going to, of course, you're going to fuck an offensive lineman. Yeah.

Of course, you're going to get fucked by an offensive lineman. Be dumb not to. Yeah. He said he likes to have jumper cables attached to his nipples

and get shocked squealing like a pig. That's what my boy said. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know this. No, it's true.

Get this on Maine. Yeah, we'll get this on the Maine account. Throw this at the top of the episode. Will they, will they post this on Maine? No.

I would love if they did. They're too scared though. They're too scared of the NFL Taylor Swift they post this on Maine? No. I would love if they did. They're too scared though. They're too scared of the NFL Taylor Swift industrial complex. Yeah, they are. All they want to do is pump out positive shit about it.

That's why my brother Jack Mack is getting silenced. Yeah. Because he wants to tell the truth. The Chiefs are 2-0 as Swifties. Isn't that like the bio of the NFL Instagram account? That's crazy.

2-0 Swifties. This is a sports podcast now I know I saw that Big tings Alright should we wrap it up What are we at Alright thank you guys for listening We'll be back on Wednesday For a live podcast with Francis Ellis

Are Nick and KB gonna be here No I think that's next week isn't it Oh shit and Nick and KB going to be here? No. I think that's next week, isn't it? No, they're here Wednesday. Oh, shit. And Nick and KB maybe as well. That'd be great. Awesome. Alright, we'll see you guys then. Love was over Still, still underground