Son of a Boy Dad - Drip Too Hard | Son of a Boy Dad #277

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

Drip Too Hard | Son of a Boy Dad #277 -- A shocking revelation about Sas is made -- #Ad: Connect with a provider at RO.co/SON to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you and get $15 off your first order -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I think it was pretty funny. It was very fun. It was great. I mean, that's like just the fact that you're able to see something that let's be honest, a lot of people have done cooking stuff at Barstool and to make it completely different and new. Thank you bro, that's very nice of you. I think it speaks to your inventiveness, but also how fucking linear minded so many people are here.

Well I just think it's, you guys are the perfect people to do it. Alright, shall we? Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is 1.42 p.m. It's February 19th. We are here live from HQ Trace Sass move this flight so the boys can I Did gab I decided to sacrifice my comfort and relaxation for tomorrow for the podcast you're a big man now I really didn't I really just didn't feel like traveling today did you have a hotel room up there no I was

gonna go home oh just stay at home with mommy I was gonna go to my parents house but then I decided I'm just gonna go back on Sunday to your parents yeah yeah yeah and grab some stuff and you'll be back here on Monday for son of a boy but then I decided I'm just gonna go back on Sunday. To your parents? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and grab some stuff and you'll be back here on Monday for son of a boy dad. Well, I'll be back here on Monday, but I don't think I'm gonna grab anything. What would I be grabbing from my parents?

A hug? A hug? Yeah, maybe I'll get a hug in. Yeah, that sounds nice. Sounds nice. Hug your dad. My favorite childhood tchotchke. Yeah, that'd be nice.

A nice tchotchke. Do you have any toys maybe from home that you can know? But I do have a pair of beats At home hmm That I forgot big so yeah, there is something to grab my sister got me them You're like like I was a psycho for saying grab something at home like I don't think I will my sister got me beats For Christmas like nice beats and I was like, where did you get the money? Like she's in college. Mm-hmm

So I was like, how did you get this and then it was like I guess she like it was one of those things where She bought something and then they just like gave her the beats. Yeah. Well, that's what you would say if you were running a grow-up No, what a grow-up? What does it grow up? I think she has a grow-up Home you think my sister has a grow operation college grow up. She could she a grow-up. Oh, you think my sister has a grow operation? College grow-up. She could. She lives in Vermont. Yeah, there you go. She's the fez coach.

She very well could have a grow-up. Vermont. I've been buying my weed from your sister for, since she was a freshman. She ships. She does, and she puts it beneath birthday cards and candles to make it seem. With the coffee grounds to throw off the smell.

If very DC. If a member of every DC like Postal service were to actually open it they would only see that and repackage. That's good. That's good shit. Well. She knows It's only a matter of time before she moves up She's the female. She's the white grazelda She puts the Blanca in grazelda Blanca if you know what I mean yeah, you know what I did I did a pretty big deep dive on the Delta Force last night. Did you?

Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. To try and debunk something he said or just? No, I just genuinely, I really don't think I had ever really looked into it until we talked about it the other day. Someone reached out to me and said that

a lot of the time when we talk about military stuff that we're wrong, we're a little bit wrong. Yeah, that's fine. And to that person I would say stop committing stolen valor okay we know and just because you tell us you were in the military doesn't mean I believe you whatsoever and there's enough military bros that enjoy the podcast and I think they like that it's wrong not your fake valor stealing ass yeah I mean I was talking I talked to Bo about it for a while because there's a kid that we grew up with that is,

like I went to like West Point and he's like in the military now and he posted a picture on Instagram and he's fucking huge. And he's with all his buddies and they're all fucking like tanks, like fucking linebackers, but just straight muscle. And I was talking to Beau and I was like, dude, you're, these guys would destroy you. Like, cause he's trying to be in the military. Yes. Like these guys would fuck you up. But there's a wide array. If you just say military.

He was like, he was like, I guess he said that that's a big thing in the military is you got to sizes and everything. Is not everything. Yeah. Interestingly in the Black Hawk Down Dock, they show pictures of those guys who were all army rangers on the day or the morning of their first,

when they went into Mogadishu, and they're all at the beach, so they're all shirtless. And they're cut, but they're not huge. Yeah. And I wonder if that has changed in the military, because that was 1993. It probably has, it's probably a lot of jacked dudes now. I think so. I think so. And there's also been evidence, of course, that, you know, members of the Navy SEALs were taking steroids, which, by the way, is totally fine and probably the right thing to do.

They're fighting for us. The problem was that they were saying that some of these guys, you know, there was a guy who died, I think, as a result of Buds. In training. Because they just like pushed themselves past points of injury. And that was a controversy. But he was doing steroids. They should all, there shouldn't be a single person, even, I don't care if you're working the fucking laptops. Correct.

In a tent, you should still be juicing. Yeah, there's no hall of fame. No.'s no hall of fame that they would be excluded from. Yeah, you're not gonna get your medals stripped because they find out you're juicing? I think not. Black ball in the green brace. I want all of my Special Forces guys juicing. Yes. Absolutely.

And mean. I want a mean as hell. Maybe some facial hair. But sometimes they don't have to be as big like that video of the rock climber who has a better pull than the two You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah forearm strength, but here's a good. Here's a good debate We were having do you think it's harder to be? Do you think it's harder to get into the NFL or do you think it's harder to be an adult a Delta Force? Delta Force you think I actually do yeah. I think it's probably pretty close.

I don't know, man. I don't know from a numerical standpoint. I looked it up, it said online that it was around 2000, there's around 2000 Delta Force members in the world. Actively. Yeah. Okay, but how many new ones are there every year? That's the question.

I think it's like barely any. Right, so then you talk about there's what, there's five rounds of draft picks every year? There's probably seven. Plus fucking undrafted free agents? Yeah, but not all those guys. I'd say like a guy that plays in the NFL, not someone that just gets drafted. That's a completely different number. Well, let's say there's 22 starters on every team times 30 teams, so like a little bit more than 600.

We'll include, I'll include second string. So then 1200? Yeah. Yeah so. I mean how many members of the mil- I mean but then you also got to think that not everyone in the military wants to be a Delta Force. No, maybe not but- Probably a good amount don't. Yeah but I I guess why is that relevant? Because I'd assume most people that are playing like college football want to be in the NFL. But a lot of them probably have come to terms with the fact that they're never going to be in the NFL. Yeah, I just don't... that is an interesting question. I don't know. I don't know how to figure out. I think it's close. There's been how many Super Bowls?

50. 50 Super Bowls, 50 guys on a roster. So have more people won the Super Bowl or been Delta Force? Dude, are you sure there are 2000 active Delta Force members right now? I think that's what I read, yeah. Let me look it up. Dude, I wouldn't go, I wouldn't argue with him.

I wouldn't go against him. Yeah. He's gonna be hot. Does Bo have aspirations to join Delta Force someday? No, he said not at all. Too hard? Yeah, he said it's like impossible Yeah, I says Delta Force has about 2,000 soldiers with 300 to 400 of them being combat personnel So some of them are the steroid computer guys. Yeah, probably if there's only 300 of them that's pretty sick 300 of them that's pretty sick straight up holy shit imagine being one of the 300 do you think they have like they probably have like a whatsapp group

chat together sending the most racist memes you've ever seen even the black guys are so racist you can get away with anything if you're 100% say something yeah what are you gonna do I'll kill you with my hands yeah yeah it's like that I've ever seen the Sam Hyde clip of what the guys like I heard you say the n-word and he's like yeah he's like why do you say that and he's like because I like to and he's just like six five just fucking massive probably what these Delta Force guys dude I met him in Vegas and he is a fucking He's huge right dude. He's like an MB. He's like the size of like an NFL player

65 300 yeah if he was walking in a pack of NFL players you would never be like oh that guy's not in the NFL Because I like to yeah, it's crazy. I guess he doesn't say it with hate. I Yeah, I don't know Yeah Yeah. Um, we just finished eating steak. Yeah, we just did the steak off and we're not going to say who won, but please watch it. It'll be coming out today. So this episode comes out Thursday. This will come out at 6pm tonight, but let's just say very close. Both guys did a great job with their steak and I think it was good, good content. It was good fun. It was a blast. I think there was a lot of hoots and a lot of hollers. I'm so glad to hear you say it was a good content. It was good fun. It was a blast I think there was a lot of hoots and a lot of hollers

I'm so glad to hear you say it was a blast because I wasn't even inviting you to come on and promote it beforehand because I was so scared that you wouldn't even do the actual thing like that You would didn't want to do it that you wouldn't do it. No, I was definitely down I will say like you were probably the ex You were probably one of the only people that I would have done it for though Let's go like I woke up this morning and I was like, to be honest, I think if it was anyone else but Roan I would be canceling right now. You wouldn't have done it for me, that's for sure.

I was so tired. And there was also a nice money prize involved with it, and that's because I wanted to buttress against the fact that you might not want to do it. It was like, hey, there is decent money that's involved coming out of my bank account. Sass and I actually, right beforehand, we met in a place he's never been before, which was Whole Foods. No, I'd been there. Get lost in that vitamin section. They have a great vitamin section in there.

The best. The magnesium, the manganese. I'm looking at everything. I'm looking at shit that I've never once considered putting in my body. And I'm like, I feel like this would change my life. Yeah, you didn't know this, but I just let you get ahead and then I followed you around the grocery store and secretly. Oh really? Watching to see what you were looking at.

You saw me go over to the vitamin section. I turned around though, because I was like, I'm gonna get lost in here if I go in. You're gonna lose track of time. Yeah. So Francis said that you kept sniffing the icings just to like get a taste of it the icing yeah like the cake icing no Francis was getting lost in everything oh I know that place like the back of my hand he's

in grocery store it's pricey though very pricey but at the same time great selection of meats great selection of fishes the fish in that store they do you can have any fish you want. They do have a great selection of fish. Yeah, they've got good fish. Not the best fish. It's not a fish market, but as far as like the breadth of the amount of different types of fish that you can get. It's pretty good. Other Whole Foods do better fish though, I've noticed. Because a lot of the time,

they'll have a lot that's previously frozen. That's how I judge a good monger is by the amount of fresh versus monger sounds like a slur monger sounds like a slur for longer sounds like a vicious slur fucking mongers yeah you drive off whoa whoa fucking mongers out of our neighborhood it sounds like something you'd yell before throwing like a Molotov cocktail yeah just a couple peaceful mongers there like protesting ever since they started busting in the mongers yeah it's gone to shit this mongers linking arms across the road fuck you mongers definitely It definitely does sound like that

What was the other what was the one that we had on the yak? jick jick Make make America mongerless again. Yeah, jick is bad. That's yeah jick sounds bad right from a jish for magicians So we're someone who's into magic Jick you fucking jick all the fucking jicks and mongers in this town. I can't even fucking go anywhere I think jick sounds way worse than monger Well sounds like something that you'd get sent to the principal's office for saying jick is very adjacent to a slur Yeah, that's why I'm familiar with that you'd get sent to the principal's office for saying? Jake is very adjacent to a slur.

Yeah, one that Rhone's familiar with. Remember when Rhone said that slur on the Yak? Yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And they tried to bring you down. They really did, because it was right after Mintz said the slur. And so the people who were advocating for Mince to be reinstated were advocating for me to be fired. They were like, well if Mince is fired then why is Ron

not fired? Yeah that's a classic way to really solve a problem and bring less attention to it. Yeah. Dole out equal punishment for an ensuing infraction. Which also isn't even a verboten slur. No. No. That's a fun slur that I won't say again. Yeah. I had something, I did something bad yesterday.

What happened? You ever go to a sample sale? No. What is that for, like fabrics? I think this one was clothing. What's a sample sale? I don't really understand it to be honest with you and I've never been to one but there was one yesterday For that that had a brand that I like but I have never purchased because it's way too expensive

I see what wouldn't you purchase the name the brand is Brunello Cuccinelli? Of course, you know them? Of course. That sounds familiar. I've never been able to get around how expensive their clothing is. How expensive is it? It's preposterous. Like how much would like a pair of pants be?

A pair of pants? I mean, you know, could be, could be 2000 bucks. That's insane. Yeah. And they have, they have sweaters that are five grand. They're known for their cashmere. Like it's, it's preposterous. What's the difference between a $5,000 sweater and say maybe a $200 sweater probably that it won't pill

Ever like if I want if I get a $5,000 sweater I want that I should be able to wear that every day for the rest of my life and in you should be able to wear That through a bramble. Yes, and not have it prick her up. Yeah. So I just opened their website, the first 10 items or so. Deconstructed blazer $5,400. Trousers, $1,900. Field jacket, $4,700. Water resistant parker, $4,900. Blazer $4,400.

Twill trousers, $1,500. and you know, $5,000. Yeah. I mean, you get. It's too much, it's insane, it's nauseating. I mean, their stores are lovely, everything is set out really well. You go in there and they'll bring you a perfect espresso or a balanced cocktail, you know, whatever you want.

What are your thoughts on that? I like it if I'm shopping with someone, especially a woman that I'm dating, who is gonna take a long time and I'm bored. Like you'd get a cocktail? Potentially, if I were in the mood. Yeah, what about espresso? If I hadn't had a coffee yet that day.

Yeah. But they, and they'll have nice truffles and stuff like that. Yeah, what about like, you ever go to a barber and they're like, would you like a shot of whiskey? Yeah, see that I don't love that. I don't understand frankly Drinking before shopping is what lubricates me to make purchases that I might otherwise have been on the fence about that's probably why they do it I bet it is but like at a barber shop, but it's like what am I? I'm getting the same haircut no matter what. I go to like a shitty barber right in West Village and every time I walk in,

my haircut will be like 10 a.m. and they'll be like, would you like a shot of whiskey? No. And it's not like you're lubricating for a bigger purchase. It's not like you're going to be like, hey, actually give me the cornrows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twist me up. That also doesn't sound like a shitty barber. I've never been to a bad barber that had liquor to give away my place where I get my hair cut see this

Does not allow liquor the two barbers that I go to I'd rotate sometimes depending on if I'm in a bad mood or not The two ones that I rotate in between both offer me a shot of with okay upon arrival. Don't lie. You cannot lie Okay, what is the cost? a shot of wisdom upon arrival. Don't lie. You cannot lie. Okay. What is the cost before tip of your haircut? The one that I go to that's right by my apartment, I think it is 60. And then the one that is closer to my old apartment, I think that's 80. Yeah. The one that's 80, way nicer barber shop.

Like it's like a... Is it a fellow barber? No, I think it's actually... barber. I think it might actually be called like Harry and co or something like that fuck Let me look it up Only time I'll have the shot or the drink is for my Christmas haircut. Oh For all the shopping's done. You know you have a little bit of a Christmas haircut You have a shot of whiskey. I think that's the only time where it's appropriate. That's not bad. So you're in Brunello, Cucinello.

Well, okay, I follow some guy on Instagram who always announces where these sample sales are. I never really knew what they were. But finally, he announced that one was starting, it was really close to the office. So when I went out to get my lunch, I just walked over there for a few minutes to see what was going on.

And coincidentally, I think it opened right before I got there. So I was like one of the first couple people in. And it was in an unmarked space, you know? Just a space. It could have been anmarked space, you know, just a space. It could have been an event space that, whatever. There was no, it wasn't a store. Do you know what I mean?

The cashier was set up on a plastic folding table with one of those cash app or credit card apps that didn't work at all. She had to keep unplugging it and restarting it. that didn't work at all. She had to keep unplugging it and restarting it. But inside were rows and rows of assorted clothing that were not, they weren't set up by size. It was just totally random.

So you had to kind of hunt, I guess. But they had a lot of Brunello stuff and all of it was 75% off. 75%. Was it real? Yeah. What the hell? So you could get your $1,100 trousers for three, three

hundred some dollars. Yeah. It all of a sudden, all this shit was like close to being accessible, you know, some of it was still nuts, but like, I don't know, like I bought a pair of really nice boots $2,000 boots they were 430 bucks Goddamn, which which is still a lot still a lot, but it's actually not that bad for like a nice pair Well, it's my hair of boots is what 300

Yeah, I mean let's put it this way mine are like 60, but I don't have nice boots You're pricing up for the for the fellas. Yeah, I mean let's put it this way mine are like 60, but I don't have nice boots You're pricing up for the for the fellas. Yeah, I would never I would never have bought the boots for $2,000 That's insane. I would never have done that but all of a sudden they were yeah in range So I went there I boots though Yeah, just so you're a multiple boot man. Those are the ones I bought at Brunello are very different. They're not like hiking boots. These are like cowboy boots?

No, they're just like, they're closer to that. Timberlands. Those are not Tim's. These are Jim Green's South African. Yeah, they're dressier, dressier boots, but with some ruggedness to them. Got it. How many pairs of boots are you at right now?

About five? Too many. Seven? got it how many pairs of boots are you at right now about five too many? Seven I have too many pairs of boots and I probably shouldn't buy anymore. I have two Well one of them is more of a shoe My hiking boots are more of a shoe than they are a boot, but then my waiting boots are a boot And my waiting boots are damn nice boots Boots are a boot and my waiting boots are damn nice boots Sims nice or no, they might be orvis Dude, let me say this though. This sample sale world is unlike anything I've ever fucking seen I went in there and within 10 minutes the place was pretty full and

I'm gonna say something a little bit controversial here every single person in there was either wearing a yarmulke or an Indian guy but they were they were all fucking great there was a sense of excitement there was an excitement and a sense of community among this men because all men Yeah in this place where we have felt as if we had stumbled upon a gold mine And we were the first people in there That's probably how women feel at outlet malls when whenever women are like you're like nice pants and they'll be like, oh, yeah Target 20 bucks and Scott pockets type of thing. Yeah, and they're so excited about it

That's probably the same Chemicals in the brain there was a little bit of a frenzy was it all men yes Damn there was a little bit of a frenzy okay, because we mean the aisles are narrow There's whatever for linear racks of clothing as I said there's no order to it. So you're brushing past a guy who's got a fucking shopping bag and a few of them had charts of items that had the real prices of the actual thing I guess even though the price tags had them. I think they were shopping for like their communities. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Or for home, wherever that is. Do you think that there's a chance that they were? Brooklyn. They were shopping for resale? Potentially. That was a suspicion that I had. I will say that was my first thought.

When you said that the boots were $400 and they were $2,000 originally, my first thought was resale. You can make some money on that. You can make some serious questions. Or make some serious or buy four pairs you Have one pair for yourself and then the other three pairs yourself. You're paying you're paying paying for yourself supply Yeah, don't get your own supply. Yeah, you're getting high on your own supply. You're making six thousand dollars in profit Yeah, minus the twelve twelve hundred that you paid for the or sixteen hundred that you paid for them

Yeah, you're still making you gotta fight. I'm gonna have to K originally sell them for say 550 a piece I think yeah, right no no you sound for the whole price No, I don't know what's gonna buy them for the whole price you got to give them a discount But you could probably sell those boots for like 1200 yeah on posh more or something like that new with authentic Watch those videos of people bringing in the shoes 1200 yeah on posh more or something like that new with authentic Watch those videos of people bringing in the shoes Yes, and they're always smacking the soul. Yeah, the person smells them. Yeah, they're like I don't hear that hollow sound sounds like a watermelon

Yeah, see I'm getting more of a Sorry buddy, no, those are fake some nine-year-old kid yeah it's always it's always just a child with his dad and then just some like 25 year old dude it's just like see I'm getting more of a hollow hollow more of an empty an empty sound there well there's no foot in the shoe see the real pandas they're actually got more of a it's more of a more of a stiff sound the only people that get combative are the The Mexican brothers and sisters who will go in there. They'll get combative if you tell them they have a fake shoe Oh, of course

I mean, it's probably devastating to find out imagine if you found out that there's four hundred dollar boots You bought were bad What if you got what if you opened up like the New York Times app today and also and you found out that that store? Was just a scam it was all fake. Well, I wouldn't be thrilled but at the same time, you know, I tell who can well that and That's why I would never have bought them 75% off was such an outrageous Discount. Yeah, so I don't know where these clothes come from, to be honest with you. Did they have the Brunello, Cuccinello? They were totally legit. So they had the

the tag on it. It's not like it was just from the same factory. Correct. And you know, I whatever, the quality is insane. The quality of Brunello, it's all made in Italy. Their cashmere is what they're known for. Their suede, their leather, all this shit. It's insane. So I cannot imagine that you can fake that quality for a low price. Does that make sense? I understand that, but I do know a lot of people will use the same factory as a manufacturer. Sure. That's probably more China. Right. I genuinely don't, and I'm not even saying it to be like oh, I'm a

Don't I don't spend a lot of money. I genuinely like if you showed me The pet these pants right here that I'm wearing and you were like these are $10,000 right I would be like interesting. I don't know why I don't know why but I would believe I think there's certain items that are easier To understand why they're priced the way they are versus others, right? I agree, like pants, it's like, come on, why would you charge $2,000 for pants? That's crazy.

But I bought a suede sort of like safari jacket is what it's called. And I bought that from there and I put it on and I feel like I'm wearing air. It feels as if the leather that they used to make this jacket was sourced from a cow that was pulled out of the mother's womb, like almost unborn.

Like they caught it before it hit the ground, skinned it and then made that into one jacket. And they skinned it the way that you try to skin like a clementine, all one peel. Just all one peel, one hide, one peel, no breakage, and then they formed that right into this supple suede jacket. Sounds so nice.

So here's another interesting thing. How much did you buy? How much shit did you get? To be honest with you, I don't really want to get into it I don't feel comfortable I'm embarrassed and it changed the way that my next month or two is gonna look I don't know I don't understand how you can spend that much money I have a problem yeah it's a problem I'm very I'm very items no more so like you spent over $5,000. Yep. That's crazy. Let's put it this way.

On the 75% off sale. Yeah, that's crazy. Let's put it this way. I saved tens of thousands of dollars. Yeah, but you spent $5,000. I'd assume you're around $5,000 to $7,000 spending. You'd be wrong. You spent $10,000, 75% off.

Dude, like when I bought the Super Bowl ticket. I had to like text everyone I know and be like just a heads up Some money has been moved That's because you don't even run your own finances though Yeah Let's put it this way. Hey, I met with my guy on Monday. He said I'm a tight spender. I walked out of that store. I texted our agent and was like, you might want to, you might want to get on the phone. I could use some work, but here's the thing, right? There's, there's some interesting things. Um, as I said, there was this sense

of community to the degree that I would try something on and I would ask one of these other guys One of the guys one of the Jewish guys or one of the Indian guys like hey What do you think of this they'd hang up their Bluetooth to answer you? Yeah, and and and because the sales people weren't sales people They was as if they were running like a bake sale Yeah They were just there to do the transactions when you you walked in, you had to check your coat and your bag because they were very worried

about people stealing shit and walking out with it. There were no security tags on any of these clothes. It all felt a little shady to the degree that it felt like these clothes had fallen off a truck. That's nice though. Did you even take your coat or were you just like leave it? What? Like when you were leaving, did you pick up back up your coat or were you just like leave it? What? Like when you were leaving, did you pick up back up your coat or were you just like, yeah, the coat I walked in with was one of his, my nicest coat.

Still I was wearing today. Still. Yeah, probably. And while leaving the store, it was still your nicest coat. It's the coat I bought in sadness. It's the sadness coat. I see. So when you walked in with that coat, they were like, he's going to buy a lot.

Did you say, did you you did they put your coat? Maybe in little like a separate area. No, they hung it up from the Jewish coats In the end all the Jewish coats were just in a pile No, they were all in those fucking big-ass boxes. You ever see the hats the the box hats the box hats. Yeah. On the airplane. It's like, oh why is all the overhead space gone? Oh, there's a whole...

Oh, there's two Jewish dudes on the flight. There's two Hasidic Jews on the flight. Oh, Williamsburg is going to California today. Oh, that's what it is. They do that, the cases that they use for their clothes are like the same, like when I used to play the clarinet. Yeah, it's cello, it's cello hard cases. It's literally like the instrument cases.

The French horns, yeah. That's the closest, yeah. But like, God forbid they wanna bring the jackets. Oh yeah. Those masterpieces. You'd have to take it apart and put like an arm in one overhead, an arm in another one. Okay, but here's the last piece.

There were no changing rooms. And people were trying on pants, meaning guys were in their fucking boxers and underwear in the middle of the store yeah that's insane pulling new pants on there was a frenzy to this how many people were in there? I mean they only let in a certain amount when I walked in I was the second or third guy in and it was very civil

was there a line? quiet when you left? by the time I left there was a line what? did you say anything snarky while even yeah, good luck. Fine. No only weird size only triple XL triple excess fringes

You're not finding anything regular size guy. Yeah regular size. Do you like you at home now guys wrap it up, dude That's suede jacket. I bought was a preposterous Find there were a lot of items that there were you know Two or three or four different sizes of that one was tucked away. It was the only one of one and What kind of jacket is this suede jacket like it looks like you're gonna see me wearing all this stuff But I'm curious to know like is it a bomber? God no no He's wearing bombers. Well. I don't know if you're gonna become like one of those time kind of comedians that wears like a bomber

Suede on stage. No, I'm not gonna wear any of this stuff on stage. I dress down for comedy. I know my place He's trying to look approachable. Yeah, which I get I can't be wearing Brunello I think I'm gonna start I've been thinking I've been considering dressing up for comedy that wouldn't be the worst idea cuz I saw I got my tapes from Toronto, and I like, dude, I look like fucking ass This is the first time that you felt that way about yourself. It was just like my fucking pants are sagging down my sweaters Did a weird position. I can't this is so surreal to hear you coming to terms with this This is like someone admitting they have a drinking problem Which he's done as well. The self-reflection is crazy in this young one and I I guess is realizing that like

You don't have a mirror really in your house. I don't have a mirror. That is a big part of it I'm sure I have probably 700 videos of myself I was gonna say is anyone ever if you saw a compilation of yourself just from the podcast alone No to see you how is this one episode to see how I- You'd be like, is this one episode? To see how my clothes look. Is this a super cut from one episode? He's only ever seen himself seated though. He doesn't know what he looks like standing up.

No, I do. Like how it bunches in the crotch region. I do. Because I take videos. I prop my phone up and then I record and then I walk like 10 feet away from it to see what it looks like and then I watch the video. That's how you check to see how you look in what you've dressed Yeah, you film yourself doing a catwalk. Yes. I would kill to have those videos. I have thousands of them That's how you see

I don't have any other way of doing it get a fucking mirror. They're ten dollars There's nowhere to put a mirror on the wall. You can't put a mirror on the wall What do you mean? I don't have a wall to put a two-dimensional item They're flush if you can own a television in your apartment. You can own a mirror This is nuts you look like one of those fashion guys. I have to do it. There's no other way This is how I've been I've been doing this for for years You really could be a whole ass influencer with this you could be like outfits of the week there really is there really is like There's a throwing there's hundreds of them

It goes crazy creepy dude. It's weird I Can't believe how many there are. You need to post some of these, dude. This is unbelievable. You know that you would be selling out. There's so many. They're so easy to find. There's just so many.

There's so many. Here's a question. I got to go through and delete them. There's so many. This is such a stunning moment. This is such a curtain reveal. Because all this time, based on the way that you dress, the assumption has been, you don't care how you look. And yet here, we are seeing an absolute attention to detail.

It's more, um... You care deeply. It's like Boris Johnson when he used to be like oh I messed up my hair like like on purpose see I go every angle look at this one dude this is a hotel this at a hotel in Austin I gotta get the side back who is this for just you my mind is exploding right now dude yeah it's for me because I like you want to know what you look like but hold on hotels have mirrors not that one there's no way you stayed at a hotel that didn't ever me I It's for me because I like you want to know what you look like but hold on hotels have mirrors

Not that one. There's no way you stayed at a hotel that didn't ever mean I was in Austin It had a just had like an above-waist mirror Like in the bathroom, right? Okay fine, but that wasn't good enough. You need a full body shot I want to know what the foot the body this is really this is really surprising to me. That is vanity You have some vanity which I'm very happy about. I don't think it's that surprising. I think it's like, that's why I wear the same outfit all the time.

It makes me really happy, but it makes me a little bit sad that you're never gonna put those all together and be like, outfit of the week. Like it's wasted content that's just sitting on your phone. It's not, it's not content. It should be. I promise you it is. It's so funny. I promise you it is. This is unbelievably funny. It's an unbelievably funny to learn.

I don't do this. I don't do this. You have a mirror. You don't have a mirror. I don't have a full length mirror in my apartment. I don't know. I don't have a full start out with like me looking right at the camera and then like setting it up for if he's not going to show you.

This is what it is. Ready? It's this. For if he's not going to show you this is what it is ready Like he's like, fuck! And then he changes his hoodie or something. That's what all those videos are. Every one of them. Well, cause it's like... You're like a bride! No, I think it's cause it's like in high school.

Cause it's like for a while I only ever looked at the upper half. Like for a while I would just... How long have you been doing this? Since I moved to New York. Wait, we have every outfit you've ever worn since you moved to New York no because they're all on old phones and stuff are there times where you just don't even care how you look and you go out like today like I know what this outfit looks like right that's a tried and true this is a tried

and true this is a this is one of the hits yeah so I I didn't know like it's usually like if I'm gonna wear different pants or a different sweatshirt or something like that Or like if I'm going to do a show like before shows I'll do it often because I want to cuz like sometimes like so if you look in the mirror regularly You guys probably don't you might get it more than him because I'm sure everything you put on just like oh wow fits like a Glove again, no surprise for what it's worth for what it's worth I I don't have the attention to what I'm wearing that you do because everything you put on fits you naturally

Why because you're like an in shape normally sized person, but you're not out of shape I am out of shape in my body is like it's like it scientists need to study it when I die But hold on a second respectfully the clothes you wear don't hint at what type of shape you are in anyway. That's the goal. You wear pretty subtle. It's like Billie Eilish. Yeah.

That's the goal. You kind of want to mute your body. That's what I do. But there's nothing that you own that would be like, oh shit, look at Sass's body. I can't tell in anything that you wear jackets inside. The reasoning behind it is, so occasionally I'll put on a fit

where maybe I'll put on my green hiking pants and then I'll put on a sweatshirt and I'll look in the mirror and I'll be like, oh, this looks good, this is a good fit. But then you'll see a photo of yourself on stage where like maybe you're mid stride like one leg is is lifted And you're like oh, I look like a fucking like lunatic. I look like my mom dressed me I think we all have photos though in in no way that's like this is like where most of my photos So it's like when I do the I set it up

And then I walk then I can see what see what the fit looks like in movement. It's just funny that you, I'm not saying you pretend to not care, but if we looked at you, we'd be like, oh yeah, he doesn't even care how he looks. That has been my assumption. But the fact is that you actually care deeply. We've had this conversation before.

You care more than I do. I would argue you care more about how you look when you walk out of the house than I do. Absolutely, I would argue that. Yeah, no, I would say I care. But we've had this conversation where you say, oh, you don't care about how you look when you walk out of the house than I do absolutely I would argue Yeah, no, I would say I care But we've had this conversation where you say oh you don't care about how you look and I say no I actually care a lot about how I have you ever said yes Yes, but it's curated his look is curated. It's not devil may care

No, I don't I don't care how I like I don't when I when I'm when I look to see how I look It's not like I'm being like I gotta be oh, I gotta be looking great before I leave I just want to not look fucking retarded. Like, that's the goal is to go outside and be like, this is not a fit that I'm going to see later and be like, what the fuck was I thinking? Okay. So I guess my paradox that I'm struggling with here is that you do care clearly deeply about how you look, and yet you wear the same, to me,

the same clothing every day. Yeah, stick with the hits. And you also don't, but I think you care but don't wanna look like you care. No, I don't think, like, I think everyone thinks that I do that intentionally, and I don't. Like, I don't, it's not like I'm like, I'm not leaving, it's not like how like in Louis's's specials like he's got like a stain

He's got like a stained shirt on or something to be like, oh, this is same old Louie. Like it's like I That's just what I That's just how I dress I Love it, I think I love this. Yeah, what a layer revelation. I don't think it's that crazy. Oh buddy you for you It is people who are listening are gonna fucking if I knew Francis did that I'd be like, yeah That would make sense. It would make sense. I don't do that. But if I had a mirror I would never do that. I would just simply look in the mirror Like when I go on the road, I don't have a problem with that that that that weirdly is normal. I think it's

it's finding out that you have thousands of hours of footage on across multiple phones yeah that's what it is this is what he's doing I do get it in stride like it like in occasionally in a hotel I'll take a corner like I'll see what it looks like when I'm wrapping around a corner. Like I'll go into the bathroom and I'll wrap. You want to see how you look entering a room? You want to see how you look upon arrival? First glance? It really has nothing to do with that at all.

You're doing entrances? Were there really hands in the pocket? Uh, yeah, 100%. Oh my god! Yo, I'm surprised you are saying this stuff out loud. I really don't think it's that crazy. Like, I have to see how I look. You do this inside a mirror.

I don't have a mirror. I honestly don't think I've lived in an apartment where we didn't have a mirror in Hell's Kitchen. We didn't have a mirror. We might have had a mirror when we lived in West Village. Definitely, yeah, definitely didn't have a mirror in Hell's Kitchen, we didn't have a mirror, we might have had a mirror when we lived in West Village. Definitely, yeah, definitely didn't have a mirror when I lived in East Village. But you have like, at least, what are you, four doors in your apartment? Right now? Yeah. Yeah, but the problem is that hallway is too tight.

But I think that the back of any door... Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's how most people do it. Back or front of any door. You do one of those hanging, you know, it's got the clips on any door. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's how most people do it. Back or front of any door. You do one of those hanging, you know, it's got the clips on the top. You know what I'll say? I think it is. I think those mirrors like against a door, like if I put a mirror, I could easily put a mirror on like my bathroom door. Yeah. But then you're looking at it and you're like, well, that's only what I look like from if someone was standing this close to me. So you want to know how you look

from 10 feet. I want to know how I look from 10 feet. Not many people need that. That's actually like all I care about. That's strange. Yeah. That's a strange sort of compulsion. Yeah, I think it's a weird insecurity. By the way, I'm not judging or mocking. No, I don't care.

I'm not bothered by it. I love it. I'm not bothered by it. This is so nice how you're even, how you're not bothered. No, I genuinely think I just, I think it probably comes with just being on stage. Like I want to know what I look like on stage. I would say that most people who own a Okay, well that okay that explains everything It's just that it has a lot to do with that. Yeah, the distance thing

It was throwing me because most people who own full-length mirrors don't need to be able to stand 10 feet away from them Yeah order to get what they want. Yeah, I think most people are you know, three four or five feet away. I think it all stems from I did a show I Did a show in Arlington Virginia last year, maybe two years ago and I was wearing I wore a collared shirt like a polo shirt and my khakis and People were DMing me after being like you have to get new pants Yeah And I was like what's wrong with my pants because I would look in the mirror my pants look completely normal and then I saw

the photos And it was like I know this look for some reason my pants like they were like they would out out They would get like very wide yes boxy. Yeah, they were very but it was like they were boxy on the legs, but then for some reason the waist, they were even more boxy. So it wasn't cute? It was like they were like, they were, it looks like I was wearing like a 38 inseam or 38 waist pants.

Was it cute? But they're not 38 waist pants. I need to see a picture of these. Did you not film yourself in your typical routine with that look? No, I must have not. And then from that day you said never again. I said never again.

Wow. It almost sounds like a military fit from like the 1940s. Yeah. Like the wide pant but like skinny waist. Yeah, a lot of people were messaging me being like, you gotta get new pants. People were coming up to me after the shows.

You gotta get new pants. Just gifting you pants? Yeah. That would be fucking nice. And then I have that dick sporting goods joke about getting new pants. People would like reference that. They'd be like, were those the pants you bought at Dick's? Because they did you dirty if you did.

Mm-hmm. They're Dick's over there. I mean, that's ironically the same joke Amy Schumer told. Psh. Ha ha ha ha. She's getting killed for that movie, by the way. The pregnant one? Yeah. I haven't seen it

I think Jeff Lowe gave it a 2 out of 100. I mean really I was watching it with no sound and I could not believe what I was seeing First of all I understood the entire plot. Yeah without any sound Dude I I am still in shock from this revelation. That's great. I'm happy for you to for coming out as a vain individual, as a narcissist. I don't think it's a narcissistic thing.

Well, no, in the classical sense of like, narcissists seeing his reflection in the lake. What is that? They look at themself in the lake? No, narcissists. They look at themself in the lake and they say, I need new pants. Interesting.

I look boxy in this reflection. I think it's Greek mythology, or narcissists. They look at themselves in the lake and they say, I need new pants. Interesting. I look boxy in this reflection. I think it's Greek mythology or narcissists. I always get, people always say that. They're like, oh, if you look at your reflection in a, like people will be like, if you look at your reflection in like the windows that you're walking by, you're a narcissist. Oh, that's always where I look the best. That's all I do is look at myself in those reflections because I don't have a mirror. We live in a city where every building is made of yeah of glass

Like literally like when I get out of my apartment I go to the building next to me and look because that's the only time I get to see myself in full Right except for the videos so videos like if I don't do a video one day I'll go to what just it's just an empty Starbucks There's probably just someone on the other side like sipping a latte. I mean I'll do it'll be quick It'll be like a four second pause. But whenever you're standing, whenever you're walking and your head is completely 90 degrees to the left, you do look fucking crazy. I do that all the time. I know but it look when you see other people doing it when they're like not you can't fake

it because you have to look all the way over to see yourself. Sass has stepped on more dogs in New York City walking with his head turned away. His half or a quarter exorcism. There are times though where I just don't even like yesterday. Like I don't like, like that's the thing is I think it also has to do with high school. I think high school I had, there's the worst feeling in the world is being in like middle school or like just when you're in school, like not like college where you're there the whole day you get There and then you're there and you ever get to school and you got a fit on that you were like What was I thinking? Yeah, you're just stuck with that for six in between periods holding her out

And you're like oh you wore like yellow for some reason yeah, the kind of a yellow shirt on it would always be my pants Like I remember like I one day I remember wearing these Under Armour sweatpants But they were the ones that aren't cinched at the bottom Yeah The straight leg sweatpants Yeah, straight leg sweats. I remember I'd be walking And they'd just be like, they'd be like swaying In the wind like

And I'd be The whole day I'd be like, dude these pants Are insane. And you need the exact Right shoes and the exact right Shirts for a lot of your pants. Yeah, like all these pants just don't go with these Yeah, using dude we used to call Ned Donovan wind pants really cuz he wore only wind pants for so long Yeah, you always knew when he was coming because it was like the sound of yeah Yeah, we would play four square and and you know

There'd be a king queen blah blah blah then the person that would have to rotate out and Everyone would just gang up and work together to get the new person and then he'd have to go to the back of the line Yeah, and Ned would hate it Ned Donovan and then he'd get really really angry and when he got really angry Everyone would start chanting win pants win pants win pants He must have been furious. He trust me as a Ned Ned's don't even really exist anymore Ned's like Ted's or what what are Ned's Edwards usually right Edwards All right, Ted's are Edwards too. Yep. They can be Teddy. No Ted's usually Theodore, right?

Interesting you're probably right but that is that is gross. Yeah, that's tough. You don't hear about we had a lot of Ned's usually Theodore, right? Interesting, you're probably right. Ned is gross. Yeah, Ned's tough. You don't hear about, we know a lot of Ned's. Really? I don't think I've ever met a Ned. Waking Ned Devine. We know a lot of Ned's. That Disney movie?

That Disney movie. Ned's Declassified, what does it go? Yes, Ned's Declassified. Ned the Head Ryerson from Groundhog Day? Ned's Survival Guide Classified Declassified. Declassified. Survhog Day? Survival Guide classified, declassified? Declassified. Survival Guide? Survival Guide.

I knew exactly what the fuck you were talking about. You've seen Groundhog Day? Yeah. Groundhog Day? Ned the Head Ryerson? Bing again! Do you have any life insurance? Cause if you don't, you could always use more.

Am I right? Am I right? Am I right? That's my favorite Bill Murray movie. I can watch, the irony is that that is the most rewatchable movie ever Oh, really makes me feel a little yucky. I can't watch that that often. It's charming. I love it SNL thing Part of it. Oh bill Murray was great on it I Think he's Steve Martin just don't hit as much for me Steve Martin didn't do it for me at all

I thought his monologue was bad, but his but Bill Murray was killing me. Mm-hmm really yeah He was very funny Lawson translation is a classic. Yeah, Shane's hosting SNL again. Oh, I saw that Yeah, we were pretty cool. It's fucking crazy time to break sobriety Glad you didn't waste it at the Super Bowl now if you're gonna drink one day a year Yeah, say one will probably be there anyway. I'm will be there for sure every time Shane Gillis hosts SNL's sass has to trade in his chip Yeah, sucks. Oh my god Really yeah, that's the dates where are you supposed to be? Uh, when is he doing in March 1st? What is it exactly two weeks from this Saturday?

Yeah, I'm gonna be in Atlanta. Holy shit. Yeah, he's got a lot of, I mean, maybe we submit some, maybe give him a packet. Maybe we send a packet over. Should we send him a packet? Let's just try and get something over there. I've got a couple ideas I'd like to run by

Get him in front of the don't destroy boys. Yeah, that is a difficult thing I feel like as a comedian where if you're hosting SNL once a year You have to come up with Seven new minutes. Yeah of SNL specific material just about that's clean To do is your monologue, on which you are judged by a whole bunch of people who don't even know your company. That's hard. This podcast is brought to you by Ro. Yes, sir.

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I don't know what the States determine what they want themselves. Yeah. I have no idea. That's such a specific rule. But I also I mean that as I said to Danny there's he got rid of the paper straws. I was suckling down a piece of construction paper this morning. A nasty paper straw. I thought those were all supposed to be dead now. Well it's going to take a while for them to get out of circulation yeah there's a lot of them there isn't like a SS squad that goes around rounding up the straws yeah just fucking where are you hiding your straw lighting up a Paris baguette are they under these full boards right now here and and here? Point them out to me.

Where your straws are. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I well I've been watching the first two seasons. Oh you haven't seen them now. It's great great You're only familiar with the script they sent you I was dude I watched the first episode of the second season I did I knew the every single thing from that entire first episode and you saw wait They gave you the whole all the sides they gave me I was supposed to be Albie which by the way his character sucks You're gonna be Albie the guy who well no this is the funny thing about it. No. I was never gonna be Albie the guy who well no this is the funny thing about it no I was never gonna be Albie I was never caught was never close but you were reading for hours reading for Albie that's a big lead that's a lead

in the show it's a lead and then also it's also for meant for a dude that is in like a hundred percent Italian yeah oh as lineage he's the son of the guy from the Zipranos. Yeah. And like their whole thing is that they're in Sicily to visit their grandmothers. Yes, I thought you meant someone from Italy. But 100% Italian. No, but like I would never have... I think you could pass for Italian. I don't have jet black hair. I think that there's Italians that look like you.-hmm you've brown eyes and brown hair. It's not I think you're thinking of Jews Well there aren't there Jewish Italians. They're definitely there's Japanese Italians There's people in there's there's Asian people in Italy right now that have Italian accents. No, there's not

That's like being shocked that there's like Asian people in Texas with Texas accents. Wait, you said there's Japanese Italians? There's people in Italy from China, Japan, the Philippines. Who are second generation. Who are second generation.

Who are growing up with Italian accents. I'm just thinking of a Japanese dude that has an Italian accent. And that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, see there. It's probably not. I can't, no, I can't see it. How can you not see that if that's the distance

you stand in the mirror from? Or your phone prime. That can see him. Watch it close up after. Oh, right. You did the pantomime, You did the perfect pantomime. Wait. I bet you there aren't that many.

Because I think Italy does have a very strict immigration policy. We are from a small group called La Cosa Nostra. Oh, a gabagoo. Oh, a gabagoo. A feather chine of a riddle. Oh Fed a chine of a riddle Do one? Google a to put on the it. Yeah, that's it. It's similar cultures. Yeah close close very family oriented respectful

Italians do do kind of do the whole you could Me let me get a gu ooooh You could easily Man, let me get a gubbagoo You could easily Ooooooh I'll take the two sushi Hahahaha Omakase, one omakase Mami-san

Hahahaha Grazie Classic Nice Instant classic Arigato gozaimasu I mean, arigato does sound Italian a little bit Classic instant classic. Arigato gozaimasu. I mean, arigato does sound Italian a little bit. It does.

Arigato. Arigato. Arigato gozaimasu. Yeah. It could go either way. That plane crash was pretty bad timing, huh? I mean, there's not a good time for a plane I mean that might have been up there with the Trump shooting yeah predict me making a million dollars tomorrow I know right guys got the lotto tickets

because we because we talked about shooting the president of the next day the president got shot there was he said there's no plane crashes next day plane crashes no casualties though but you did you see the flight attendant yelling at the guy to not film on his way out? No, he was filming on his way out. I had a great. I had a great riff on it at the stand last night You want to share that Someone was talking about the I was talking about flight anxiety and then someone was talking out someone was like well of course it With everything going on right now, and then I was like oh flight anxiety and then someone was talking about it, someone was like, well, of course, with everything going on right now. And then I was like, oh yeah, the crash yesterday.

And I was saying that it's got to be the worst time to crash because that's like that, that's like this, they were, they already landed. I was like, that's, I was like, that's gotta be the worst time to crash. Cause that's like, you're in the process of taking your phone out of airplane mode and texting someone and being like, Hey, just landed. I was like, the joke I had was like someone definitely sent someone lead someone 100% had already sent like hey just landed and then like milliseconds later they were like we're ups were fully upside down it might be a while yeah the wings are off the plane

the video of the plane hitting the ground from the guy who's in the car on the runway or whatever is Insane. Yeah, how did he know to film that? I don't know that just might be a flight enthusiast someone with autism. Oh you think so? There are a lot of those guys. Yeah Well, and what are we thinking it was from the too hot of an entry by the yeah well, they're saying that he landed too hard it ripped the It ripped the landing gear off and tipped the plane over to smash the wing,

which means that it was a very bad landing. It is the type of landing for which you would definitely not clap. Oh no. And by the way, what the fuck is going on there? Have you seen how all these famous people or like random people are now coming out and saying like it's okay to clap on flights now. Yeah

That's all I'm seeing everywhere is viral people being like it's fine to clap after flights It must be because when it must be because the planes are crashing. So if you do it successfully you should clap So were they booing the guy in Toronto? Yeah, I don't know. They were throwing throwing tomatoes. That guy probably stayed in the cockpit the way that SAS does after shows. Yeah, 100%. Wait for the whole plane to empty out. I'm not going out.

Tell them I'm not coming out. Let them know, let me know when everyone's gone. Just take pictures with the plane. Including the cleaning crew. I don't wanna see anybody. You know you're supposed to be able to ask them for a trading card? Yeah. Oh, I've heard that. Yeah, on Delta flights them for a play like a trading card. Yeah. Oh, I've heard that

Yeah on Delta flight every Delta one has a trading car. Yeah, that's cool I want to get one, but I've always been afraid to ask Yeah, you're too a little bit too old If you just got that guy's trading card before he fucking botched the landing probably worth a lot worth like a million dollars Yes, you think so I'm leaving on the plane. Yeah, I'd be going back after the crash. I'm like, you gotta sign it, dude, I'm sorry. It's like, yeah. Dude, I mean, you get it.

You gotta sign it. You don't mind if I cut a little square of your blazer off, put as a game worn jersey card. I mean, I'm going, I'm getting this green. Oh, you know what? I don't even need to cut it off. I can see a piece I mean that would be a sick trading card

If you had like sullys trading card, it's just a damp piece of wall of cloth of cloth Yeah game worn Problem is you just know PSA is not giving that a 10 out of 10 now Not after it's been in your pocket on that ride Darren Revelle definitely has it though hundred percent. It's a good card Yeah, the damn good card Finding the guy to get it and then him just punching you like Buzz Aldrin. Yeah. Yeah, I love that It's a classic clip sliding it under the cockpit. Just a sharpie comes next You get it you get get it, man. You think that guy, he doesn't lose his job, does he?

Yeah, I'd assume he's probably not back up in the air for at least a couple years. Yeah, I don't think anyone knew, because they'll know. So you think he'll just go private? You can probably get him a good- He might have to switch aircrafts, he might be a helicopter guy now.

He might be a spirit guy now. He might be a spirit guy now. Yeah. But I mean, it's a good way to get a good rate on a private pilot right now, if you get that guy. True. You probably get him at a Brunello Cuccinelli discount. That guy is the guy who's now going to be flying Cessnas over the Grand Canyon.

$200 tour. Yeah. Bad news, you're losing your job at Delta. Good news, we need someone to dust these crops Good news, California's on fire Give me experience scooping water From a lake nearby Dropping it on top of flame. Yeah, exactly. That's so funny that no one died

No, yeah, you can make fun of it. If someone died, we are someone might actually be in critical. They said that two people were in critical condition, but that they weren't expected to die. I thought critical condition exactly meant there's a strong likelihood that they're. This is the exact same situation that got you fired last time. We assumed life because of news that we heard and then. Oh, well, then I haven't made fun of any of this though yeah you me and sass have been it has been you guys I mean it's same thing with the burger the burger kid actually maybe even if you just calm us down if you're like well that's not cool yeah I

think that until we're out of the woods on this one probably best to stay away from it you know guys let's yeah so you can't also tell us this round we really got to get off this topic sass I don't think what you just said was funny first you were saying I mean you said boy You always saying mongers and jicks. It's been a tough. It's been a rough episode for own These victims We were just joking about how they sound about he's the one who was like fucking yelling it down the street Yeah, do not fucking ruin. This will ruin me. Yeah, I was a little thrown off cuz I mean I was on that flight Oh, yeah, I just flew to Toronto right on the Delta connections. I was flying the night before and

You know my plane Was close. Yeah to doing exactly that you went through the same, your winds were, they only said it was 40 mile an hour winds though. I've flown in 50, I know I've flown in 50, maybe 60. No way. Cause the guy came on and said it was 50. There's no way you've flown in 60 mile per hour winds. I said 50 and I said it could have been 60.

This guy came on over the speakers and was like, we just landed in 50 mile an hour winds. He was like proud of himself of himself yeah he was flexing which is fucking sick and this was 40 that's yeah guys we're about to hit we're about to go through some 60 mile per hour winds don't worry they'll make it feel like 20 a little bit of a shake nothing you boys can't handle back there mmm everybody put on their brave face

and free-rounded Johnny Walker on me In the war room we're gonna make the Wi-Fi free for a bit if there's anyone you want to say goodbye to I would Suggest doing it anybody wants to make a call That's always crazy. I watched that movie red eye a while ago you ever see that movie I remember that what it's called red eye Yeah, I remember vaguely the movie where it's like she's a lady meets a guy at the bar at the airport And then they're like oh, we're sitting next to each other on the flight, and then they get in the air He's like I'm gonna fucking kill you oh

I remember the preview for that yeah, that's what I remember a decent flick actually yeah It's like a it's, it's a fun movie. But one thing that's interesting about that movie is that it's when the planes all used to have the phones on the office. Yeah, right. I remember that. You'd swipe your credit card and then you'd call. My parents, that was exactly like the mini bar.

My parents were like, whatever you do, do not touch that phone. Oh really, it's expensive. Making a phone call from the plane is actually more expensive than what the plane costs I had the fear of death in me. Yeah about the phone about even even I think they was like the minibar I was like if you even just took it off the hook. Yeah, somehow they would charge you for that. The baby bar shit is Insane I got hit with that the other recently where they were like they were like the lady at the front desk was like

Just a heads up She was like it's like weight. It has like sensors on it. She's like if anything even moves. They're charging you for it She was like just don't even open the drawer. Oh my god I know when I got in the room was open the drawer. I gotta see what we're working Yeah, at least did she say that to you because of what you were wearing probably yeah Yeah, don't even thought you cannot afford this this she did say that like like upon arrival She was like don't even open the drawer mm-hmm, which I was like I feel you're probably not supposed to say that Like I appreciate it, but it's profiling probably not supposed to say that yeah, and that she's losing her company money. Well. Yeah, that's what I meant

Yeah, yeah, that's not right those. I can't believe they still Well, you know how they still have like ashtrays on some planes and on all planes No, it used to be on all planes. I think it's on all planes, but like some models in the bathroom Yeah, I think some do I think it's required for them to have it on all planes because they're the thought process is if if someone ends up smoking No, seriously, I mean no I swear to God cuz I looked it up. I was like I look I looked up recently I was like why do plane bathrooms still have ashtrays and they were like cuz if someone decides to smoke We'd rather than put it in the ashtray than put it in the trash and then burn the plane down

Putting it in the trash would suck so yeah that must have happened once or so yeah probably yeah I think I would just go toilet though right well. There's not water in there for it true But you put in the sink get a little water. I guess I would put in the ashtray if I decided to smoke But they moment you decide to smoke on a plane must be You're finally just like fucking I'm doing it I had to convince a friend of mine not to do that one time really on a flight back from Sweden He was like dude. I'm going to I'm going to smoke in the bathroom. I was like, do not fucking do that. Who was it that was like recently,

within the last year or so, they smoked on the plane. It's a famous person. And they like asked the flight attendant, they're like, how much are you guys gonna charge me if I smoke on the plane? And they're like, it's a $10,000 fine. And then they just immediately lit up a fat blunt. I have it on the tip of my tongue.

Was it a rapper? they smoked a blunt rock He was someone like very famous a cigarette or a blunt. I think it was a blunt maybe but they were like Regardless they were like that that's like that when didn't he get in trouble for something where he said I'm gonna no matter What I'm gonna do this. I don't know what an asshole. I mean that that's such a confined quarter Especially if it's a blunt. I don't know if it was a public. It might have been a private plane. Oh that makes more sense If you're just with your friends if you're in a public plane saying you're gonna fucking smoke a blunt. It's fucking nuts Trippy red I don't think that's who I was, I remember there was a story about Trippy Red with that. But I've also heard stories about pilots snitching on people and being like,

they have guns on the plane. Like, when we land, have the ATF there. Really? Yeah. Or I've even heard of limo drivers doing that. You had to be an asshole to make a limo. Isn't that what happened to, uh, what's his name? Juice World? Oh. Juice World? Maybe. I think Juice World got snitched on by his pilot, right? Yeah.

Oh yeah. Cause he had like pounds of weed and the pilot like told the police. Yeah. And they were just like boarding the plane and he just like ate all the drugs and died. What? That's for real? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that sucks so badly Golly take the or just have one of your guys take the fucking thing take the ball

Yes, shut up the ass. Yeah, shut up your boys ass at least try the ass What if you like filled his ass? That's he was like I don't have any more room my ass that happens that what is the? Isn't that a thing like people will take the balloons of coke to travel with yeah Not like not like to go party with him talking about people that are smuggling drugs across the country. Yeah, then they'll pop And then they die. Yeah, it's also my poor El Salvador Yeah, I'm in who's like it has no choice. She like doesn't like or care about drugs Yeah, just has to pay for her family.

Mules. Yeah. Mules. Such a nasty word for them. Yeah. You got it. You got it. Alright.

So LaVar Ball lost his foot. He lost his what? His foot. He's got an antipy and it's testing the picture. LaVar Ball got his foot chopped off? What? Why? It's testing the picture. I thought you were saying Harborough.

I thought you were saying like Jim Harbo. Harborough. Harborough. Harbaugh. Harbaugh. That's the one I always struggle with. Jim Harborough. You see they just raised the salary cap in the NFL.

What they chopped LeBarbaugh's leg off? Why'd they do that? Look at this. Holy shit. That's crazy. Damn, that actually makes me sad. I've actually super sad. He was diabetes His wife is fucking wife doesn't speak is his wife mute You think any of the balls will ever win a title You think any of the balls will ever win a title Probably like accidentally I could see Levar ball or a long job being on a team or something Do you think one of them will win a Grammy? Who do you think's gonna win?

What do you think they're gonna win first a Grammy or a title? Winning like that one song is pretty good, but not a Grammy, but I could win a T award like 100% or like a source award. You Grammy. But I could win a BET Award like 100%, or like a Source Award. You don't think I could win like Best New Artist of the Year or something? No, they only give that. It's kinda how it goes. It's like if they have one big song.

He has two other decent songs too. But it's not that song. Listen to them. That song you get it. They're not bad. You hear it once and it's stuck in your head the whole day. I'm just walking around my apartment. I'm a swerve and I call it whoa. You know that song?

No. You don't know that song? I don't listen to this stuff. You've never heard that song. Dude, I've given up on rap. That's gotta be like, I'm talking about like just in like, it'll be on a TikTok, on an Instagram reel. I don't want, yeah.

It's gotta be one of the more popular songs. I don't keep up, I don't know any modern music other than, you know, pop. Serena Carpenter. Yeah, her and- By the way, phenomenal job. The pink- Can we say, phenomenal job on Sunday? Chappellrone. Chappellrone.

I didn't see her on Sunday. She was the star of the show. What show? SNL 50. Oh. What'd she do? She was like twerking on fucking? Tom Hanks or some shit. Mm-hmm Oh, yeah, Pedro Pedro Pascal freaky ass girl

Freak freak freaky ass girl Okay, okay We ending it already after we go in for like minutes. Hairball has to get to the airport I don't I told you I'm not flying today. Are you sure? Yeah, what time is it? Yeah, no, I'm fucked You could easily go. No, did you cancel it yet? No, I'm going to I'm just gonna do the same day change And then change it the next day little hack Twice Hmm you can sometimes you can go change same day change and then you can change the day to the next day Little hack. Twice?

Sometimes you can go same day change and then you can change the day to the next day. That's pretty sick. Dude, that steak made me very tired. Yeah, how long have we been going? I feel like we've been going for like 30 minutes. We've definitely been going at least an hour. Really? Time flaws.

Time flaws when you're gab... Gabby Douglas over here. That steak did the opposite to me, it gave me a new energy that I haven't had. Well don't spoil it. Yeah. Oh man. It's got a sharp pain in my ear. Oh I thought you were being like, that steak was so good. Yeah.

Oh man. Well I'm gonna be in Boston tonight. Uh, let's see, I got the ticket counts just now. Pretty much the only show that isn't sold out will be tomorrow, there might, or Thursday there might be tickets left, but it also could be sold out. Friday's pretty much completely sold out,

and Saturday the early show has like 10 tickets left. And so does the late show, but the late show's gonna sell out before then. So if you're not coming to Boston next time, and then outside of that, I'm going to be in Atlanta, Georgia next week. And there are plenty of tickets available for that. or plenty of tickets available for that.

I'll be in Providence April, I think it's 11th and 12th, 10th and 11th maybe, or 11th and 12th. We're getting rid of that Thursday show. So if you bought tickets to that, I apologize. And, but they'll help have you move over to the Friday, either Friday or Saturday, if you can make that. Ditching the Thursday rules so much. Yeah, I had to, because of the mini golf. Oh, but you're doing Sunday now.

No, I'm not gonna do Sunday. We're just gonna do Friday, Saturday. Such a good move. It was happy, happy days. It is so nice. That extra night changes everything. Also, New Brunswick, New Jersey on March 8th. Tickets are going fast for that. So come see Francis, because you're buying him a new outfit whenever you see him.

That's right. Honestly, people should just pay you in like a threat, like a 20th of an outfit. I am retiring myself from buying clothes. I'm going to put on a freeze or something. No. For a little while. We're not going to have anything to gab about. Well, I'll start buying wine again. Francis, where is a new Westminster or Minster?

What is it? I don't know how it's pronounced. New Westminster? Yeah, where is that? Canada? I think so. Where in Canada? I don't know, man.

Okay, I'm gonna be there after Atlanta. Does it have a- All of the tickets are left. Does it have letters after it? No. It doesn't say BC or? BC. There you go, it's British Columbia.

British Columbia. So maybe it's near Vancouver. And then I'm gonna be in Seattle, Portland, Stanford, Connecticut. I guess I'm doing a one-nighter in Kansas City. I didn't even know about that. Wow. That's not even on my website, so I'll get that up.

All tickets for my shows are at punchup.live slash Francis Ellis. Hairball will be with me in New Brunswick. Thank you everybody. Francis might be with me on all of these dates. You'll have to, you'll have to see. I'll do some shows. You'll have to buy, you'll have to buy tickets and see.

I would like to do some shows together. I mean, the New Brunswick shows are going to rule. Man, having sold out shows rules. Hard-O-Ass comic. Man, having sold out shows rules. It does, cause like I'm looking at like the, usually it's like I get to see like the capacity percentage sold, and usually it's like 3%, 5%, 17%,

and then for this it's like 99% 100% 97% It's good feeling give my boy the joy of having sold out shows Dude, you know what else I love is when I tell a joke and they laugh at it That doesn't hit nearly as hard as the sold out shows I don't even like doing I don't even like sold out shows I don't even like doing I don't even like sold-out shows Yeah, and I'm way more nervous for a sold-out show than I like a nice 75 person show blast That's wrong, you don't agree no no you're wrong dude

Like or like a hundred maybe a hundred twenty perfect number of people so so don't go to come see Sass's shows. You're going to make his day worse. Oh, you already bought the tickets. If you see it getting towards 75 percent sold out or I've never been, let's just say like I've never been doing like an 120 percent show and been in the Korean room, been like, fuck, I'm nervous. It's more like let's get out there and let's like let's just have some fun. You know, all right. That's it. All right, that's gonna be it. We'll see you guys next week The stake-off will be out tonight

Come ron.com Harry set a website comm Francis Ellis org or was it dot edu punch up dot live? Francis Ellis gov And that's gonna do it that's it goodbye Close was over, still, still underground. So I looked older, till you came around. To you, came a ride I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting before before was I

so so then you listened now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way away banished to your eyes did you realize

no one could take me alive i was only falling one way See you just at this time, being fast forever right Call it just a memory, take my hand and you can see I'm home Oh Man is true I vanished to your eyes Did you realize No one could take me alive