Son of a Boy Dad - Early Worm | Son of a Boy Dad #305
Episode Date: May 29, 2025Early Worm | Son of a Boy Dad #305 -- #Ad: Go to https://kraken.com/barstool to learn more -- #Ad: Go to https://vuori.com/BOYDAD for 20% off your first purchase. Exclusions apply. Visit the website f...or full terms and conditions. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad
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Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
I'm exhausted. Not a lot of the tank. Why? What do you have going on in life? I just woke up early went to the gym. I don't know why because now I'm just exhausted. I love that for you. Why cuz you feel like shit
You're crushing it, dude. Not really
I genuinely don't understand why I do why I would ever think that's a good idea for me
Like I have to I've spots tonight. So it's like now I'm not gonna be up for 30 hours or however many hours
It's now you know that this is my literally every single day. Yeah, but that's your apparel, like that's cause you live like that.
There's zero reasoning for me to be waking up at 7 a.m.
Do you have the DNA of like a sloth?
No, but there's no point in me waking up at 7 a.m.
and going to bed at 2 a.m.
Yes, yeah, I don't go to bed at 2 a.m.
There's no reason for that.
Well, there's also really no reason,
I don't have to be awake at 7 a.m.
You should be- There's nothing happening
in my life at 7 a.m. You should be. There's nothing happening in my life at 7 a.m.
I would cut back on the back end.
I would go to bed earlier and keep waking up early.
Yeah, but I did that last night.
And then this morning I was like,
I don't know why I did that.
Now I know today is gonna suck.
Like I'm gonna go home after this
and then I'm just gonna sit for nine hours.
Joe Rogan would tell you, you know,
that today's not gonna suck. I'm not Joe Rogan would tell you, you know, that today's not gonna suck.
I'm not Joe Rogan.
Because of the way he-
And I don't know Joe Rogan.
Yeah.
Well, he could say that.
You don't know him yet.
I don't know him at all.
Joe, come on in.
Let's put it this way.
When you get on Rogan
and he schedules the podcast for 10 a.m.
Are you gonna walk in and say,
hey Joe, this fucking sucks?
No, but 10 a.m. Is not even like bad
I'm just saying there's there's like I genuinely don't think there's an actual reason for me to wake up George
I just want you to know seven a you're not gonna get my best today because I woke up and I worked out this morning
And I don't know why the fuck I did. I don't know why I work out at all
Like it makes me it consistently makes me feel worse
I don't know why I work out at all. Like it makes me it consistently makes me feel worse
Always it doesn't energize you no, I will say like
Six hours after I go to the gym. I'm like, alright, that was that was worth it. Like I feel better now
But like it genuinely like it takes like right now dog shit It doesn't feel great as soon as you're done. No, I did the hard thing today. No, I did my hard thing
Like I was walking home in slow motion from the gym
Every time I lift one of my legs. It feels like the weight of the world is attached to it
You might want to do a different type of exercise. I don't know what it would be just squatting
I just got to drink more water to be honest
I think I just got to drink more water to be honest. I don't think you need to lift so much.
Maybe if you started doing,
did you see him do that stretch thing
on the road.com this morning?
No, I did not.
Page and pose.
Really?
If you got into yoga and you just became
this bendy, pliable, zen dude,
I wonder what that would do for you.
Nothing.
What if you- I like to lift weights though. I don't like to do that.
What if you got really happy
and then your standup just started sucking ass?
I am happy.
Like I'm not a miserable person.
Zen happy, like that kind.
I know I'm not saying you're miserable,
but I'm saying I am Zen.
The last five minutes would say otherwise.
I am.
Today's gonna suck.
I worked out.
I don't know why I woke up early.
What's the point?
Because it's like, I feel like it's midnight right now.
This is when I should be waking up is right now.
Let's start.
And being like, all right, should I go to the gym?
Keep all that in.
That's a good lead in.
All right, we can leave it in.
I don't care. All right. We can leave it out there. Um,
all right. All righty. Welcome back to the son of a boy dad
podcast. Today it is May 28. And we are here to live from HQ
three. Welcome to the show. I'm, uh, I'm going every morning. I'm going every morning, I'm biking by the tattered remnants of the ship.
Yeah.
Oh, they just haven't cleaned it up.
It's moored to the side of a housing project
right on the banks of the East River on the Manhattan side.
It's very sad.
There's also a police boat that keeps watch of it.
And there's definitely, it's there for full eight, nine,
12 hour shifts, whatever it is.
So there's just a cop in there on an iPad who's just like.
You think there's like an investigation or something
and they have to keep it for evidence?
They probably investigated if a boat crashes
into the Brooklyn Bridge and the boats from another country.
Maybe so, but it's not seaworthy, I don't think.
So they're gonna have to do some kind of a repair
to get it out of there, but I don't know if that means
they're gonna haul it off to a boatyard somewhere or.
Strap it onto the back of a Tacoma.
No, they're gonna put it on a,
they're gonna take it to a chop shop.
And it's gonna be some Mexican dude just like,
let's get under the hood and see what went wrong.
Let's fix this thing.
Turn it into a bunch of reclaimed wood tables on Etsy.
Yeah, yeah.
That would actually be sick.
That's your table you're looking for.
That's what I'm looking for.
That would be awesome.
Built from the fucking Mexican bridge rubble.
Some curtains made from the, it's very sad though, going down to the riverfront,
there's like a memorial to the two people that passed away.
Oh yeah.
Oh is there?
I haven't seen that.
It's right under the bridge,
like if you go up by the bridge.
Emily Roebling Plaza.
Right, the woman who finished the Brooklyn Bridge.
Sure.
And they give her credit for having built
the Brooklyn Bridge, this woman, Emily Ro her credit for having built the Brooklyn Bridge,
this woman, Emily Roebling.
But really, a man built it, and then he got sick right at the end,
and she put her name on the project.
Which is what men get lambasted for all the time,
that a woman actually did this, but fucking the guy doctor in charge
named the disease after himself.
But really, the Brooklyn Bridge is just some woman
slapping her name on the group project saying,
oh, actually I built this whole bridge.
He couldn't get it done.
I mean, if he couldn't get it done, that's his problem.
No, just to-
He finished it all.
He perished.
It's not like-
He got the bends.
She finished the job.
Just to play Clams Advocate for a second,
she was pretty instrumental. How? He was bedridden up in
their place in Brooklyn Heights and she would finish the contracts, make sure that people were
getting there on time. She oversaw it and really had her hands on the business side of things
because it was so close. It was so close. Yeah, he did most of the work. And then she was like,
actually we're going to call it Emily Roebling Plaza
They don't even know who mr. Roebling was. Yeah, his name's lost to the sands of the no need
Well, he already he already was Brooklyn Bridge would have created the Brooklyn Bridge
Yeah, he was a bit of a nepo baby though. Yeah, because his dad started the bridge
Oh, no, and his dad was Washington Roebling as well, but his dad died
the bridge. Oh no. And his dad was Washington robe-ling as well, but his dad died. Passed down through generations. Right before I think they actually started building it, but he drew up the
initial plans for it. And then young Washington took over. Interesting. And I can't believe you
know more about this than I do. Well, I read the David McCullough biography. Of the bridge? Yeah,
it's called The Great Bridge. It's one of the most dull and dense books I've ever read.
I would not recommend it to anyone.
Why did you read that?
I love David McCullough, and I moved to Brooklyn,
and I could see The Brooklyn Bridge from my window,
so I assumed I just thought it was something I should read.
Some things don't need a book.
Didn't Kate read that book?
I think it's a famous book.
It's a big book. It's a big book.
It won the Pulitzer.
I feel like she read some book about one of the bridges
or maybe the Hudson or something.
I remember she talked about it on the Yak.
Hudson, I think, has his own book.
Probably.
I think Glennie Balls read the Hudson book.
I'm not even kidding.
He always would talk about the life of Henry Hudson.
That he drifted up the river.
You'll know more about this than I.
I haven't read that one. He drifted up the entire Hudson You'll know more about this than I. I haven't read that one.
He drifted up the entire Hudson
and then his crew mutinied.
Oh really? Wow.
I think they killed him up there.
I could be wrong. That's brutal.
They finally get there and they're just waiting,
posted up, blades.
Emily Roebling is there with a blade.
Yeah.
And that's antique country too.
Yeah.
Right up there in Newburgh and kind of,
there's a town called Hudson.
Wooden Blades.
It has some of the best antique stores in the country.
Truly does.
It's a great day to go up there and get yourself a frittata
and then walk around town.
A frittata?
Yeah, a little frittata.
Get yourself a slab of stone.
Or maybe a croque monsieur.
Or a croque madame.
I started reading the,
or I'm listening to that, the Blooming Towers book. Oh, I'm so pleased. Yeah, or a croque madame. I started reading the or I'm listening to that
Bluing towers book. Oh, I'm so pleased. Yeah, very good. Good good. I will say I'm not a huge
I don't know if I'm gonna continue to listen to it. I might read it because
listening I don't I don't have the
like brain for that I
Have to read I've been on the first chapter for I think 24 hours and I've had to rewind it. Cause you miss one word and then you're out of it.
Really?
You miss one name and then you're like,
wait, I know what's happening right now,
but who the fuck are they talking about?
That's why movies are great.
Yeah.
That guy.
Yeah, exactly.
He's the guy from the other scene.
And then the problem is all the names are like Egyptian,
super, not American names.
Yeah, so I'm telling them, I'm telling them into,
I was trying to Google translate them.
Like I was trying to tell them to the thing.
I was trying to do the Egyptian president Nasser.
Nasser.
You're trying to translate names?
Well, I was trying to figure out what the guys looked like.
I need to figure, I need a face, you know?
And then these are the guys that like created Al-Qaeda.
So I need to know what they look like in case they I see them
I think a lot of them are dead at this point you whispering the names of terrors in 49
Well, you just said in case you see them. It was a clearly a joke. I
Cannot tell at all anymore with with you. I was kidding
But uh, you're definitely gonna watch this after whispering the names of terrorists into your phone
I was no I kept on saying it wasn't even a terrorist. It was the Egyptian president
Nasser, you know, and I kept Larry Nasser. I kept on saying Nasser into the phone and kept it coming up is NASA
the space
Program right because they know you're from New England and then I finally I was able to find an answer long
So long time of research but interesting book
I didn't realize that like the whole war in the Middle East
started just from pretty much Israel, right?
Oh, I think it goes way back farther than that.
I mean, you could go back to biblical times.
Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
About that whole conflict in that area.
But the Houthis hate Israel and America.
Yeah.
The Yemenis. Yeah, that's crazy. A lot of people hate Israel and America. Yeah. The Yemenis.
Yeah, it's crazy.
A lot of people hate Israel and America.
Yeah.
Especially the Egyptians.
Well, speaking of all of that, I am very saddened about what's
going on at Harvard these days.
There's this war between Harvard and our president right now.
Really?
Gay?
No. Is gay not there anymore? It's a pretty straight war now. Really, gay? No.
Is gay not there anymore?
It's pretty straight war.
What?
President gay?
She got ousted.
Oh, she's out?
She's out.
Damn shame.
Yeah.
Where is she working at now?
Fucked if I know.
Burger King.
But I'll tell you what.
So what's going on?
Well, Trump is really kind of going after them.
Yeah, he's sending them home.
He's cutting off federal funding and grants.
And he's trying to say he wants them to no longer have
any international students there.
Oh, wow.
Harvard as a whole?
Yeah.
Damn.
So it's just going to be Francis?
Yeah.
Yeah, more for me.
They're gonna send you back.
I mean, not for nothing.
You know, definitely helps my kids' chances.
What would you do if Trump called you
and was like, we want you to be the face of Harvard?
I accept.
I humbly accept.
Like they're gonna build a statue with your face.
But would you still do the pod or no?
Yeah, I don't think a statue is really gonna be enough
to replace this job.
A library. Well, now we're talking. You don't think a statue is really gonna be enough to replace this job. A library.
Well, now we're talking.
You don't think a statue at Harvard would be enough to like?
What am I getting paid for a statue?
Am I charging?
Once you get a statue of yourself built at Harvard,
you could go like speak at schools, there's bullshit.
Or you're just, you're in motivational talks.
But would you take the statue
if they made you keep the title of President Gay?
If they passed along like that.
I think I would.
I think I'd want the title of President Gay.
No.
Paging President Gay.
Hello.
Your 2PM is here.
Yeah, he's really kind of gone on
an absolute fucking vendetta against Harvard.
And it's, I guess it's to root out woke, progressive,
entrenched ideals on college campuses.
I don't really know why he's not.
Well, he went to Columbia first, I'm pretty sure,
because of the protests that were going on there.
Yeah, but he just like sent one guy home, I feel like.
I don't know if he cut their funding, but maybe he did.
It's gotta be crazy to be the one dude sent home
from Harvard by the president of the United States.
Well, the guy was kind of a bad guy.
Oh, really?
I think he was speaking out against America and all that.
And he was like a C-minor student.
Egypt.
He was Egyptian.
Larry Nassar.
Yes.
They sent home the gymnastics coach.
Yeah, well, he was the gymnastics coach. Yeah.
Well, he was the floor manager.
Hooray.
But, you know, it's a strange thing.
I don't really know.
Harvard's like standing up to him and they have a $40 billion endowment, so maybe they
can.
You can't dip into that endowment because if you're dipping in every year, the endowment
will be gone pretty fast.
And they've lost part of that endowment are the federal grants they get, which I think
are a few billion dollars.
So I don't know.
I don't know how that's all going to play out.
But I will say, all jokes aside, the international kids at Harvard were great.
Yeah. And you know Harvard were great. Yeah.
And you know.
Jeremy Lin.
Yeah.
Of course.
I mean, I had a lot of friends who were from England or Australia or whatever.
Sweden.
They were cool.
Yeah.
I had some.
Finnish friends.
Where else?
Iceland.
I want to say the Asian kids, but I never saw them.
They studied so much harder
and I never got to hang out with them.
Tonic foreign friends.
They were way better.
England.
Yeah, Irish, one with Irish, Northern Irish.
No French, no French.
Canada, a ton of Canadian friends.
Everyone's talking bad about foreigners.
I find them to be very pleasant guys.
No, they were these these kids were great. Well, that's what sparked 9-11 is that we said that we
were an immigrant country and then we proved not to be. What? Clearly you guys haven't read the
first chapter of the Looming Tower. Just explain it to me. I just don't know about it. They said that apparently post World War II, the United States was doing so well and we
said we were an immigrant country. We were open to having people coming into our country.
And then that resulted in a bunch of people in the Middle East coming to our country.
And then we started funding Israel aggressively and moving a bunch of Israel citizens into Palestine.
And then the Muslim community,
Islam community did not like that.
Interesting.
And then the dude went back to Egypt
and was like, 9-11, let's get it going.
This was in the 50s?
This was in the 40s and the 50s.
Holy shit. Yeah.
You're a history guy now.
Big time.
It's so nice to have a stat to rattle off like that.
To be honest, the only reason I'm reading this book
is because it's not like a history.
I'm trying to fast forward to the more modern history.
Yeah. Just understanding.
Yeah.
You're basically Dave Smith.
Pretty much, yeah.
But to get to know where we're going,
you have to know where we came from.
Exactly.
That's what they say.
Those who do not know history are destined to repeat it.
Mm.
So if you don't finish this book,
you're gonna be responsible for another 9-11.
True.
And I think that's something that, you know,
even though you weren't really that aware for the first one,
I know of the fear that it instilled in you.
Would you really want to live through that again? I would not now.
Well, that just shows that Trump and everybody who's kicking out all these
Australians and British foreigners is trying to not repeat the mistakes of the past.
Because he's like, this used to be an immigrant country, not on my watch.
Get these fucking Irish out.
A lot of people in response to my tweet about this said,
why are we paying for international students to be educated at Harvard?
We should fund our own.
I'll tell you what, the international students that I knew at Harvard,
they were paying their full tuition and then probably
for a couple other people as well.
These kids had had it, had it made.
Really?
Had it made in the shade.
Also, do we want to do tech innovation or not?
Like, we're not going to have any Indian or Chinese people
come over here and we want to do tech innovation?
I don't know how that's going to work.
What percentage of Harvard is foreign students?
I don't think it's as high as they're making it out to seem.
What, like 30?
I don't even think it's that high.
I'll look it up.
Well, from my understanding, it really
raises the question whether the president can unilaterally
make a decision like this, or if he'll
have to lean on the other branches of the government.
And I think that Harvard, Columbia, and their ilk
really has solid ground and footing for a lawsuit
if that's the chance that that's the opportunity they want
to take, that's the road they want to go down.
Harry Ball, you nailed it.
27.2% of Harvard's student bodies
composed of international students.
Very nice, Harry.
You're on a fucking heater today. It's the gym dude, I really think it's the gym.
I'm taking my supplements so it's probably why.
Brain's just firing on all cylinders today.
It's really fucking beautiful to watch.
Wish I could just put a muzzle on my brain sometimes.
Why?
Oh oh.
Too fucking genius.
You mean like a dog muzzle or a gun muzzle?
Either or.
Shit.
They both kind of work the same.
Kind of. Dog muzzle stops you from barking.
When I see a dog that has a
Hannibal Lecter cage over its mouth, I think thank you to that owner.
Yeah, we got a way to put a muzzle on my dog. I don't mind that. I think that's you to that owner. Yeah, we got a way to put ourselves on my dog.
I don't mind that.
I think that's really responsible dog ownership.
Because I know that even if that dog attacks me,
we're going to box.
What's going to happen?
Worst case, it's going to jump on me and hug me a bunch,
or try to paw me a little bit.
Have you seen these videos of the King Charles?
I'm obsessed with it.
Oh my God.
What is it?
I love these videos.
The King Charles is the absolute alpha of the pound.
Oh.
King of the fucking playground.
I'll bring it up right now for you.
You see a bunch of snarly dogs
with their teeth bared, huge dogs. And then the King Charles comes in
and everybody bows down.
Everyone gets on its back and puts its paws up in the air
and says, uh-oh, the alpha's here.
It's crazy, dude.
I've never seen dog activity like this.
It's unbelievable.
I've been seeing so many clips of it.
Interesting.
Here, respect this dog.
I'm not familiar.
Here, go to dog. I'm not familiar.
I'm not familiar with King Charles.
Now, it does seem as though all these clips
are coming from one account,
and it kind of makes you wonder,
like, why are all the dogs so angry
right before the clip starts?
Is somebody fucking stirring them up and then, like,
Probably, yeah.
handing some fucking N.O. Explode to the King Charles
and letting it walk out there.
Did you see how the other one like bends its knee?
It comes down and those are bigger dogs,
much bigger dogs.
That's crazy.
Well, that one's a little dirty.
King Charles?
That one's definitely, yeah, King Charles
has definitely been at the Isle of Dogs roughing it.
Look at this, this is another one
and the dog, the other one who bows down in the main video,
in this other video, he's like back as King Charles Henschman.
He's just like over his shoulder, be like, you better listen to him.
You better show some damn respect.
King Charles comes walking in and it's like, wootie hoo!
All are coming.
Five-oh, five-oh.
I mean, what's going on?
Why are the dogs, They're all fucking furious.
They're very unhappy. Yeah. One day they've labeled tyrant. There's like King Charles
name his main enemy. They're fucking amazing videos. Cool vids. It makes me want to like
fight dogs dominate my dog. Yeah, it makes me like I'm the fucking boss! It feels nice.
I gotta get into, we gotta get into some son of a boy dad dog fighting.
Get a team? Yeah get a team together. Why not
cock? I feel like cock fighting is such a more smiled on
nobody's mad about dog fighting. Yeah but we need the publicity of dog
fighting. We're not gonna get any publicity from cock fighting.
We'll get the wrong publicity.
The nice thing about cock fighting is that when you,
when you, after the fight, you take the dead chicken
and it's already pounded flat into a perfect chicken...
What's it?
It's actually way bloodier than I thought it was gonna be.
What are those called?
Tenderloin?
No, chicken breasts?
You know when you beat one of those pieces of chicken flat?
You know what I'm talking about?
Like a chicken breast when you beat it flat?
Yeah, you gotta beat it with one of those cleavers.
A mallet.
Yeah.
With the spikes on the end.
Bang, bang, bang, bang.
Yeah, but I thought that was like a...
Cutlets, cutlets.
Nice flat cutlets, you bread them.
Still got it.
Still got it, we're there. Fiering on all cylinders. Did you work out this morning? No, I didn't, nice flat cutlets, you bred them. Still got it.
Still got it, we're there.
Firing on all cylinders, did you work out this morning?
No, I didn't, but I did yesterday,
and I'll tell you what, I felt a lot better.
Did not choke on my own spit as much.
It's carrying over.
Hit it hard, hit it hard.
Very glad to hear that.
Oh yes, makes me so happy that my boys
are fucking mentally firing.
Big thing coming up this weekend though,
I'll tell you a big thing.
I am now number one on the wait list for the member guest.
Someone's gonna have to die.
I was 12 and now I'm number one.
It's probably because you talked about it.
How did 11 people?
Here's what happened.
A couple people dropped out from the field, right?
And then they go through the wait list,
but by this point, a number of the people
that were on the wait list assumed they would not get in,
so they made plans.
So they had to go up to number seven
before they found a guy to fill that spot.
Interesting.
And then two more dropped this week.
Man, I don't know.
That's crazy, the top six had plans?
Something like that.
I think if I was top three,
I'd be like, my plan is member guest.
Yeah, but these people are not desperate for the-
For the member guest.
Yeah, they're like, oh, I'll just do something else.
I don't care about this.
I'm desperate.
Yeah, like I'll just go play in the Masters instead.
I want it more than anything in the world.
And I'm legitimately waiting by my phone
for messages from the starter.
He's told me each time that I've moved up.
Really? Yeah.
From the starter, what's a starter?
The starter's the guy that kinda sends people out,
usually the kinda caddy master.
The pro.
Call him a manager.
He's an outside ops guy.
And what's the level of talent
gonna be at this member guest?
High, very high.
Are you the member or the guest?
I'm the member.
I'm the member. I'm the member.
You're the member and you can't even get
into your own member list.
Yeah, it's a highly enrolled event
that enters a lottery system.
They gotta keep it fair.
Tell you my club would never do that.
Is that him?
God damn you, Ron.
You know that you're one call away from me
just assuming that every time you call me it's a joke.
Why?
Which because you've been playing these hijinks for too long, god damn it.
What other hijinks have I played?
The whole time.
Every time, the last ten times you've called me it's been, hello, hello, hello, hello.
No, no one was actually fucking with us.
Did you call me?
No, you called me.
I did that one time as a joke.
Every other time people have been fucking with you
No, this is this is my Robert De Niro signature right here. Okay things that I threw that thing away. There's two things good
I saw my sweatshirt and I didn't have any napkins. So just use that
That is exactly how Robert would want his autograph
to be used.
Yeah.
He's Italian.
At least you acknowledge it's real.
I can probably find it in the trash.
You're, I'm never gonna do something,
remember all the times when I'd be like,
when's your birthday?
I'd love to get you this thing for your birthday.
That ends now.
When I go out of my way to actually do something else.
Where do they bury the trash in New York?
Is it Upper East Side?
No, they take it out.
It's by like Carol's Kitchen, I think.
They take it out on big barges all the way out to Jersey.
No, they have a little dumping area.
Landfill.
They got a little dumping area.
Do you ever see how much trash is generated
on a daily basis in this godforsaken city?
I'd assume a lot, good to know.
I don't even know how they do it.
If they went, if the trash workers went on strike,
which historically has happened, by the way, in Memphis, a while back, the trash workers went on strike, which historically has happened, by the way,
in Memphis a while back, the trash workers went on strike.
Yeah. I'm not surprised.
Because their working conditions were so unsafe, one of their guys got sucked into one of the
trucks and compacted. Oh no.
Killed. And then the city was like, ah, puff, you know, puff, puff, pull up.
So they strike, they struck, they went on strike and the trash is piled up for days,
days and days.
Rats galore.
And yeah, I mean, it was like your apartment, you know, out there.
So-
I bet there were gunmen popping out of trash cans at like, at trash collectors.
The trash is shooting at us.
I think there is some sort of clause or some agreement
between the sanitation workers of New York and the city
where it's like, fundamentally,
they're not allowed to just not work.
Yeah, that makes sense.
There is some clause because their work is too vital
to the kind of- How to fuck things up big time.
... cog of the city.
Take the cops and the firefighters, but not our damn trashmen.
You know, let the teachers go on strike.
Exactly.
Who cares about the kids?
Exactly.
Not our fucking trash.
It's already dirty enough.
It's already dirty enough.
Yeah, it is pretty dirty.
It's bad.
It's nasty.
It's gross.
I saw a roach fly into my apartment yesterday. Killed it
on the spot. How'd you kill it? Dude, it came down through the chimney. It just sent a roach?
It did. Literally. I was literally about to go to bed. I'm sitting on my phone, just like
at my desk, about to go to bed, and all of a sudden I just hear like a thwpththth. I
looked and there was just a roach just dropped down from the chimney. Like Mary Poppins?
Yeah, literally it just fell.
Hello, Harry.
Yeah, and then it was crawling around
and then I got out the, I got out the raid.
Could you tell if it was, was it looking for its kids?
No, it clearly got lost.
It was not a, pop a roach.
Yeah, as soon as it landed, it started panicking,
flying around, pop a Roach, very funny.
I sprayed it down though, and then I crushed it.
And then I left it.
You sprayed it, then crushed it?
Yeah.
Well, they're always like, you can't kill,
cockroaches are impossible to kill.
I killed that thing easy.
Literally like, from the time that it landed
in my apartment, to the time that it was dead,
under 30 seconds.
You have to take out tweezers and take their heads off.
That still might not have been dead.
This thing was dead.
You know, I have a humane roach trap.
So I wait till it gets filled and then I drive them over to the West Village and I use a
slingshot to throw them through your window.
Climb up to the top of your building, dump them down your chimney.
One of them will make it.
I want them to be comfortable.
Your apartment, they talk about your apartment.
There's like, someday I'll get there.
A humane road trap is hilarious.
That is the Mecca.
I would never do a humane rodent trap.
Like I could see like doing like a humane, like raccoon trap. Do we have a humane rodent trap. Like I could see like doing like a humane,
like raccoon trap.
Do we had a humane squirrel trap?
Cause we got into the attic, sort of the crawl space
and they just nod their way in
and then they would run around all night
and especially above my bedroom
and it was all night long, all night long.
And this was before I used a white noise machine.
So it was a problem.
It drove me fucking nuts. And would we'd get the squirrel trap out and
I never forget when you had them you're carrying it like a little suitcase
they'd be running into the front of it. Yeah. Just bashing their faces. Yeah. Like
they were nuts and they'd have the wire imprinted on their nose. Bloody, bloody
there. Damn. We'd drive them like 16 miles away. They'd come back.
Yeah, I'm sure.
You gotta drive them hundreds of miles
and you gotta spin them around like it's Dizzy Bat.
Dude, we had a, in my, when I was growing up
in like middle school, high school,
where my bedroom had like a crawl space behind it,
behind my bed.
And I remember one night in the middle of the night,
I just heard scratching on the wall. It was like a squirrel or a raccoon or something but
it was literally like this far from my head and I packed up and went down. I
slept on my couch downstairs. I told my parents, I was like there's
like a possum under my bed or something. Yeah. I thought it was in my room.
It's tough. Yeah. Did they find it? No. Never did. Never did. Never found it. It could have been a person. Could have been a ghost. Yeah.
It's way more likely that that was a ghost. They never found it.
There was a clawing right next to your head as you slept. Yeah. I can't believe you assumed that was a rodent.
There was a protein shake next to my bed and I knocked it over and I didn't clean it up until the next day.
You brought a protein shake to bed? Yeah, I think I had it over and I didn't clean it up until the next day. You brought a protein shake to bed?
Yeah. I think I had it in my room.
That's probably I didn't, I probably didn't finish it or something.
That wasn't your nighttime drink.
No, no, no. It could have been, I don't know.
Boy, that's some badass teenage shit.
Yeah. Yeah.
Just bedside protein shake.
Yeah. Always.
Just having the milk before bed.
Yeah. I used to just slam two protein shakes a day
until like two years ago.
Well, you gotta get back on the team.
No.
That's what's causing all your soreness and lack of-
No, the protein causes more problems.
That fake protein destroys me.
Get the real stuff.
Well, I'm just eating chicken.
Why don't you get some of the plant-based maybe?
Maybe that's the issue.
That's just trash.
Yeah.
May as well sprinkle fairy dust into my smoothie.
You just wanted your metabolism to be as slow as possible as you fell asleep.
Exactly.
You wanted to lose as little weight as you could overnight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean that's the bulk life.
Set alarms for three and five.
Shakes in between
the only way get right back to sleep that's what those fucking
Like Hulk dudes do the strongman. Yeah, I watched it I watched like a documentary and it was like this is like dude. There was like
900 pounds. I think it was what's his name Thor?
Yeah, Thor. Oh Garth said his good son. Yeah. And his his girlfriend is upon a time
or his girlfriend or wife is like a is like maybe one eighth
of his size and she's waking him up like every hour in the
middle of the night to be like you got to drink this this
fucking protein shake because he would lose like 20 pounds
overnight if he doesn't just putting some because they're so
fucking big so he accidentally swallows it as he snores.
That's so insane.
Why would you want to be that big?
That's gotta be miserable.
Yeah, it's gotta be.
Imagine being woken up in the middle of the night
and someone was like,
drink this chocolate protein shake.
Bleh.
You can't.
I'm just picturing him with his wife,
or his girlfriend being an eighth of his size.
Oh, tiny.
That she to him is the equivalent of me jerking off
of the flashlight.
Yeah, exactly.
He's just using her body to masturbate himself.
Exactly.
Yeah.
The guys who are really densely musc,
like he's at least big proportionally.
The guys who are really densely muscular is very gross to me.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm sure I'm gross to them,
but it's very disgusting to me. That guy I mean, I'm sure I'm gross to them, but it's very disgusting to me.
That guy, Thor, you talking about the mountain
from Game of Thrones?
That's who I'm picturing, the mountain.
No, I was picturing Thor the heavy,
the, no, the fucking, what's his name?
The strong man.
You guys aren't familiar with Thor?
I thought that that was the mountain.
Fuck that.
Anyway.
To verify my person out, he is the mountain.
Yeah.
We're talking about the same guy.
That's what I thought.
Something happened to his face.
He got so muscular that his face had a stroke.
Some guys do that.
Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, their faces all changed.
I mean, look how fucking big this guy is.
Yeah.
Imagine.
Yeah.
Imagine getting fucked by him.
His dick is probably tiny.
I would think so.
Yeah.
I don't know, he's so proportionally huge
that it has to.
But his face kind of isn't proportionally huge.
I always wonder about the kidneys on these guys, right?
Because that level of protein intake
is an assault on your kidneys.
Yeah, 300 grams a day.
And they've never stopped.
I mean, it's probably 300 grams a day at least.
Yeah, I don't know how they're doing that.
That seems abusive.
What is his barbell?
Let me see it.
Or dumbbell, I guess.
Yeah.
Oh, that's the...
I think it's like a...
It might be like a ton.
Something insane like that.
He's one hand holding a ton over his left shoulder.
I've seen the videos of him lifting that.
It's actually a black hole on each side.
I think even just getting your hand
around the grip of that is like almost impossible.
Where do we think his bulge is in here?
Is it this top area or is it,
it's definitely not down here.
That's just the pull of the pants.
Yeah, I don't think it's down there.
I think it's this, right?
Yeah, that's that.
There it is, yeah.
What do you think, Harry?
Where's his bulge?
It's a 220 pound dumbbell.
I don't think he's got one.
Is it down here, this area, one. Is it down here this area?
Where is it up here this area? Yeah
That makes that like those if those are his two balls, that's
Insane, that's tough. Those are marbles. Yeah, I guess that's what happens. I don't know. Does this steroids shrinks your balls down?
That's what they say, right?
That's what they used to tell us as kids.
Yeah, they would say that.
Probably because they didn't want you hitting dingers.
Yeah, exactly.
They didn't want me to reach my full potential.
Right, oh, your nuts will get small.
Yeah, probably that's the school across town saying that
because they're scared you're gonna hit dingers.
Exactly.
We had a strength and conditioning coach, Coach Fitz,
and one time someone asked him about steroids. We had a strength and conditioning coach, Coach Fitz. And...
one time someone asked him about steroids.
Yeah.
And he goes, I'll tell you the truth about steroids.
You want to know what the side effects of steroids are?
Bigger, stronger, faster. That's it.
That rules.
That's what I've talked to a few people who have done steroids,
and they pretty much all say that.
But they all also are like,
I think if I kept doing them, I would have died.
Well, I think that, you know,
one's like human growth hormone.
I mean, that gets prescribed to people.
HGH?
Small people, yeah.
I thought HGH was the worst one.
It's only bad, allegedly, if you have cancer.
Cause it makes the cancer bigger.
Or are predisposed to cancer.
Because cancer is a, like whatever,
an unstoppable doubling and quadrupling of your cells,
right, in an out of control way.
And I think it accelerates that process.
I thought it made your organs bigger too.
That makes sense too.
You got an enlarged heart?
Yeah, I thought it enlarged your heart.
Could do, could well do.
I don't know enough about it.
There was a kid on the wrestling team at school
who was really small.
I mean, he wrestled in like the fucking 110 pound division.
Yeah.
They might've even created a new weight class.
Clean X weight.
He might've been wrestling like pandas or something.
Yeah, yeah.
And he was prescribed HGH and was allowed to take it
as a non-violation of the NCAA's banned substances policy.
Because I think without it, he would have just like deflated into a balloon.
Damn. Getting prescribed HGH is insane.
Yeah. He needed it.
Yeah. He's probably pumped.
It's like you get home and you're like, well, this is definitely going to work.
Mom, bring me my HGH smoothie. It's not you get home and you're like, well, this is definitely going to work. Mom, bring me my HDH smoothie.
It's not from Mexico.
There's literally no way this will not work.
There was a kid at my high school who did steroids and he said it made him into like a sick kisser.
Oh yeah.
Like a really good kisser.
Really?
I'm not surprised.
I can see that.
I'm not surprised at all.
I mean, your tongue just doesn't get as tired.
Is that what it is?
I think he said that his lips, like it was like,
extra reps.
Mostly lips.
Yeah.
Lip kissing.
Yeah.
He was so good at it, they said.
God damn, dude.
All the girls at Edgeley would be trying to kiss him.
I don't want to dox him.
There was a couple of kids that I grew up with
that would take steroids in like high school
and just not work out.
Just sit, just lay.
They would just kiss. They would just lay down and just pop steroids.
Like skittles, like rattle them in your hand.
Like just waiting to get jacked, just waiting for it to happen overnight.
They were on the Winnie.
That's what they were on for Rough and Rowdy.
You forgot many episodes ago what steroid they did before Rough and Rowdy and it was
Winthral. Is that what Smitty did and then Vittas are taking? We forgot many episodes ago what steroid they did before Rough and Rowdy, and it was Windthrawl.
Is that what Smitty did and then Smitty did it again?
Yeah, because that's what, remember $20 Chef was like, he was on the Winnie!
He was on the fucking Winnie!
That's crazy.
Taking steroids for Rough and Rowdy is insane.
No, it's not.
It's also the most apt thing to do.
What?
It's the least insane thing ever.
I'd be worried about how strong I would become I would worry
I would kill my opponent. I think everybody from Barstool that fought in rough and rowdy took steroids. Really? First generation for sure.
That's insane. Most recent generation. I don't think you can really be fucking around with the roids like that
Can't tell you. I'm trying to remember who else did it and if I should say did Pat do him
You think he's already on oh, he's on the roads. Oh, you have to be when you're gay
Oh, I mean you imagine just being a bad-bodied gay in New York City like that's true in suburban, Pennsylvania
Yeah, yeah, you could do that in when it's slim pickings out there. Yeah, okay in northern, Georgia being a paunchy girl in a sig
sorority in Alabama.
I mean, you'll get fucked, I guess.
But it's going to be that you'll be the fourth guy of his night.
That's it.
It just won't be special.
It won't be as special as it would
be if you were just a fucking ripped gay guy.
By the way, are this a dumb?
Oh, actually, I have a really important question.
I have a really nuanced basketball question, so I'm going to direct this at Rhone, since
you are a friend of the, uh, black community.
Well, I was going to say basketball community.
What's the difference?
Uh, you're absolutely right.
Alex Caruso?
Imagine if Trump banned foreign players from the NBA.
Too many MVPs.
The Greek Freak.
Can't even fit their last names on the jerseys.
The Joker, the Greek Freak, these sound like Trump nicknames.
So, okay, here's my question.
You ready for this round? This is a big one. Cause I was watching the Knicks game and there was a moment where it was in
Indiana and a play happened where they showed the replay on the jumbotron,
which caused the Knicks coach, Tibbido to issue a challenge.
Yes.
coach, Thibodeau, to issue a challenge. Yes.
And first of all, I thought, why would the scoreboard replay
guy play a replay that made it clear the refs had made
the wrong call?
In favor of the away team.
Yeah, and challenging it would favor the away team
because it turned out to be a foul against the Pacers
instead of an out of bounds that was going to be Indiana ball. But then I wondered, why is showing replays on the Jumbotron
in order to allow coaches to throw challenges allowed at all? Why is that allowed?
Interesting nuance question. I think before instant replay in the NFL,
the actual referees would watch replays on the Jumbotron
to make their decision.
The referees would watch them over and over again.
But now teams have a replay assistant on the sideline
who after every play they'll go to,
in the case of the Milwaukee Bucks,
there was a woman with a laptop on her lap
and she would in the moment watch it over
and be like yes or no to the coach as fast as possible.
So there's somebody who's working ostensibly faster
than the replay person,
but sometimes they wouldn't get the answer in time
and so you'll see sometimes players hold onto the ball,
they won't give it back to the referee
to buy their own replay assistant a little bit of time.
I mean, you see coaches like craning their necks to watch.
And then they're like, we challenge.
And I don't understand, again, I don't understand why.
I get why the home scoreboard operator, Jumbotron operator, would show footage that clearly means
the coach should challenge, but I would not understand why they would show a clip.
I think a lot don't. I think a lot of times you're at a stadium and they're like,
oh, they're not showing that replay. That probably means that we're about to get that penalty or
we're not going to have that completion count for us.
And if that's true, then doesn't that seem like something that is beyond the scope of the game
and should not really be an accessible resource for coaches
to use to determine if they should challenge or not?
I think that what matters most is
the experience of the viewer.
And so if you're at the game at the stadium,
you're going to be like, I want to have the massive jumbotron
So you can sell tickets to the game as the big jumbotron
So I think that they're the ones who are being served but I agree that there's a fairness disadvantage
Sass, what do you think? I don't know. I would assume there's got to be some sort of
Regulations around what they can show on the jumbotron and what they can't
Like I'm sure if they're just feeding
on the Jumbotron and what they can't. Like, I'm sure if they're just feeding videos of like,
if it's the NFL and they're just showing Tyreek Hill
getting locked up by Christian Gonzalez on replay
for four hours, the NFL probably wouldn't be too happy
about that, right?
They'd probably be like, well, clearly this is not gonna be
a welcoming environment for the other team's fans,
which again, tickets.
I think so.
The tickets.
I don't know.
I would assume they're probably not allowed to like consistently withhold replays from
the other team.
I think that the hardest thing for the replay operator has to be when a young fan will simulate fellatio onto the camera and go,
gah, gah, gah.
Yeah.
And you have to kind of hit camera two really fast
or unpan in if you're the good Christian cameraman.
Yeah.
I love it when I'm at a game
and there are some kids in front of me
who are begging to get onto the Jumbotron
and you finally see that the camera guy comes over,
he's pointing it right at them,
which means in five seconds,
I'm about to absolutely outshine these kids.
Nobody's gonna be looking at them.
Beer chugs.
The simulated fellatio.
The simulated fellatio.
From horse.
From someone next to you, perhaps. Maybe involve the beer chug in the simulated fellatio. The simulated fellatio. Of course. From someone next to you, perhaps.
Maybe involve the beer chug in the simulated fellatio.
Give the kid a beer.
Give the kid a beer.
Simulate the.
Get them started early.
Teach them to drink responsibly in the European way.
The problem that a lot of people face when
they get on the Jumbotron is they'll
be sitting in their seats. The Jumbotron will go on them and they'll excitedly stand up and just give
us like a dick view.
Like then the Jumbotron has to zoom out, zoom back in and find that you have to kind of
continue doing what you're doing.
If you start going crazy tapping the people next to you, that's bad Jumbotron etiquette.
It pisses me off to no end.
You know that someone's a seasoned Jumbotron
appear when they can maintain eye contact on the camera
instead of looking up to see themselves on the Jumbotron.
Which is rare.
Agreed.
Celebrity Row at the Knicks game, they can do it.
Oh yeah.
Kelsey Plum, the WBA player, she can do it.
But not many other people. You ever see Kelsey Plum throwing a t- can do it, but not many other people
Kelsey Plum not the simultaneous you hon you brothers are feeling
Epithetic of one another have you ever have you ever seen the Kelsey Plum t-shirt toss?
Now throws it like 300 yards breaks the he's saying knocks down one of the banner. Yeah to the ceiling crazy
Who's your plumb a WNBA player one of the best in the league, honestly. Cool.
Yeah.
You really don't know her?
Nope.
She used to date Darren Waller.
And when he was on Vegas, I think he cheated on her or something like that.
Sounds about right.
The country singer?
And then she beat the shit out of him.
That's Hope Sola that you're thinking of. Oh, yes.
Tim Howard. Yeah. Yeah.
Darren Waller cheated on her and then she broke up with him.
I think when he got traded to the Giants,
maybe that's why he got traded to the Giants or that trade broke during their
wedding. They were like, you're not going to,
if you're not going to bring Kelsey around anymore, you're off the team.
And then she went to the game and she pretended to eat popcorn.
And she was like, being like a funny girl.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Boy, I like this plum girl. I don't know much about her.
I think you've seen this.
You've never seen the popcorn eating video?
No, my God, no.
It's gotta be like one of the more popular videos of the last three years.
I've been pretty locked up watching my King Charles.
This is Dominic has been going on for years.
So what is this? This is what she does. She eats each
popcorn and then laughs to her friend like I'm so fucking weird
and gorgeous every game. No, she just did it once and it's
become a gift of like a picnic girl. Oh, is, is she doing it to imitate the meme of like,
ooh, there's something crazy happening
and I can't wait to watch.
No, she's just pretending to be a,
she's saying how quirky is it that I'm pretending
to be a girl eating popcorn
and then visibly laughs to her friend
and then pretends to be a quirky girl eating popcorn
and then visibly laughs again.
So can you explain Pick Me to me?
What does that mean exactly? Pick Me girl. quirky girl eating popcorn and visibly laughs again. So can you explain pick me to me?
What does that mean exactly?
Pick me girl.
Sass?
I don't know.
I think it's like a girl who's like,
I'm not like the other girls.
Like I just like to watch football and have beer.
We used to call them whores.
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Pick me definition. Yeah.
I'm running out of time. Being labeled of a pick me generally refers
to someone often a woman who attempts to gain attention and validation from men by distancing
herself from other women and often adopting scarotypes or behaviors associated
with masculinity. Exactly. She's like a scab to women. Yeah. I guess. She crossed the picket line.
Yeah. It's like I'm actually with the men now. She's riding on the bus to the mines with the
rest of the men while all the women are throwing eggs at her. And people are like, oh, so you're
a lesbian? And she's like, no, no. I'm straighter than than anyone she's a big Caitlin Clark hater right who plumb yeah yeah I think I think what's your
early on she's giving her a hard time welcome to the league yeah welcome to
the league but she's like a lesser Batman villain to Caitlin Clark's like
like obviously the main one is Angel Reese like that's the Joker yeah yeah
Angel Reese is her Joker
That seems like more of a one-way rivalry at this point, she's her villain though. She's like
Dominates Angel Reese Batman fucking always beats the Joker in every Batman got roughed up by the Joker pretty bad
Yeah, well, she won the first yeah
Yeah, I get why she's so mad though. I mean she had a tough childhood who?
plum Grew up without her dad the academic shot guy with the knife in the library
I have no idea what that is in reference to
Batman that's Batman to professor plum
That's her plum with the knife in the library? I have no idea. Clue. No I'm not up to date on my Clue references. Talk about daddy issues. The board game? You don't know the reference in the board game? Dumbass. Colonel Mustard?
Dude you don't know Professor Plum from Clue? That was her dad. What are you fucking dumb? She was set to enter a life of academia in her father's footsteps until...
But Colonel Mustard was DJ Mustard's dad.
That's right.
DJ Mustard was a military brat.
That's who Kendrick is talking about when he goes, Mustard!
It's about Colonel Mustard from the board game crew.
Yeah.
Then Turn the TV Off is a song about playing more board games.
That's it. Turn the TV off. Turn the TV off.
Really?
Turn the TV off. Turn the TV off.
Board games are fun. I haven't played a good board game in a while.
Love a good Scrabble.
I need you guys to...
Scrabble just sucks because everyone cheats and they make up words.
Yeah, like Francis has to be the worst person on earth to play Scrabble with.
Because I know, I know.
Zine.
That's...
This is actually the Latin origin of the horror.
That's where the challenge comes in.
But it's like...
You can challenge people.
Come on.
I want to see xylophone, I want to see zebra.
Give me some tricky ones.
Don't give me these fake bullshit words that never existed.
Zah is a word, Z-A.
I'm sure it is in your dictionary.
You have to know all the two letter words
to be really good at Scrabble.
Yeah, but that's why it's not fun to play with
people like that. Cheat.
Q-I is a word.
Yeah. Chat.
Q-A-T is a word. Not the way I play.
Not the way I play. Q-A-T?
You gotta know the Q words when you don't have a U.
You gotta know how to dump your Q.
I know how to dump my Q.
Oh. No.
Quiet.
There's also,
there's also XI and XU are both words.
No. So if you get a triple letter.
It's such bullshit.
And you can go both ways, that's a major.
Well, so how does Scrabble still not have just inserts
for you to put the fucking tiles?
You need to buy a better board.
Those are the deluxe boards that have the actual thing
and it swivels, like a lazy Susan.
Damn, that sounds way more enjoyable
because I can't stand.
It's terrible.
When the tiles are misplaced.
Oh, it drives me out of my mind.
You're playing on a flat board
where the pieces are sliding all over the place?
I always got to go in and rearrange them,
tighten them up.
Me too.
I get that completely.
You deserve one of the gourmet boards.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I never got the gourmet.
I never had the monopoly where you have the credit cards.
You ever see that?
No.
There's a cashless monopoly now.
It comes with a scanner.
No way.
And fake credit cards.
People probably don't know what the cash is.
Boardwalk, you owe me one half of a Bitcoin.
If you did a cashless monopoly, the game would last 30, half of, 90% of that game is being
like, all right, wait, if you got this, then that means I owe you six, like that's the
whole game.
Rather than just tap.
Doodoo.
Yeah, I than just tap.
Do do.
I own all the railroads now. Yeah, I'll just do the math.
Monopoly Deal is my preferred version of Monopoly now.
I love that game.
I'm not familiar at all.
It's great, it's cards, it's really fun.
It's a really fun game.
How did Monopoly even get to the top
of the board game empire? It's such a fun game. It's definitely really fun game. How did Monopoly even get to the top of the board game empire?
It's such a fun game. It's definitely my favorite board marketing from big board game. The problem
is that no one wants to play it because it takes long. No, I don't like Monopoly. Why? The rules
are much more complicated than you'd think. When you get towards the end game. Have you ever
properly ended a game of Monopoly? Probably not. The rules about like mortgaging your properties and properties that have houses and
hotels on them and what you get for that and what's live and like how you actually end the game is it
gets dark. Dark? Yeah. How? Well, you have to like kill off so many people you stop passing go the police officers
Yeah, it just it just is tough usually the game ends cuz it's like well clearly I can't afford to pay you that so okay
You win. Yeah, but a lot of the time you can afford to pay it if you mortgage all your properties
Yeah
But then it just becomes a slippery slope like, you know
Cuz I always used to just get the railroads.
Because then every time someone hits one of the railroads, they have to give you a shit
ton of money if you have all four. If you have all four, it's 200 bucks,
right? Yeah. Yeah.
And I would get all the railroads and then I'd get properties too. But it's like, by the end,
it's like you're selling off your, it's just every round you're like, all right, what am I
going to have to sell this time? Like you, you have a general idea. I feel like.
Like when someone's got the dark blues and they've got hotels on them and you're like
if I land on that it's over.
Yes.
But there are only two.
Yeah, but they always seem to find their way.
The greens are a bigger problem.
The greens are an issue as well.
You should just get something out of staying at the hotel.
It should be a little bit nicer.
Yeah, you should like, yeah.
You should be able to experience that.
Or maybe if you hit it like seven times, you get a little bit nicer. Yeah, you should do like, yeah. You should be able to experience a fun time.
Or maybe if you hit it like seven times,
you get a little bit of a status, you know, discount.
Yeah, yeah, platinum reward card or something.
Yeah, pay for the motel, get the hotel.
One night free stay at the hotel maybe would be nice.
We need to make a more modern version of Monopoly.
Where there's like a verbo.
Yeah, the first hour is just figuring out
what credit card you want.
What's the most realistic one?
You could turn your house into an Airbnb.
Yeah, yeah.
This house is actually a hotel now.
It's Memorial Day weekend.
You know I'm renting that weekend.
Tennessee Avenue.
Let's read some reviews.
Who's stayed here in the past?
Yeah, you should be able to just not stay places.
The hot tub wasn't clean.
Nah, I'm gonna spin again.
I'm not staying at that fucking dump.
I pass.
Just buy it on Klarna.
Four payments, four easy payments.
I'm not gonna pay in front.
When you use Klarna.
Those things are crazy.
When you're buying like a fucking toothbrush on Amazon and they're like with 15 easy payments you could handle like do what?
Pay a charge a dollar a week for ten years
I know clarinet doesn't charge interest but that do they have to Amazon does
15 years later like I wish I did then but I know now
Brush I wish I knew then what I know now. This goddamn toothbrush.
This has been the bane of my existence. Every year, every year, the date comes around.
It used to be pretty much what I was told was just to never do any of that shit.
Pay cash for everything.
Yeah, if you got the cash, pay the cash.
Because like the, like I remember when I got on PlayStation,
I remember they were like trying to get me to sign up for one of the Best Buy credit cards and I
remember the lady at the front desk was like don't do it I was like I wasn't
going to but like she gave the whole speech and then she was like don't get
the credit card yeah she was like I tell my kids the same thing and I was like oh
yeah she was worried about you yeah I was like I was gonna get the Best Buy
credit card I was like look I got the platinum I wasn't gonna get the best buy credit card. I was like, look, I got the platinum already.
I'm not getting the best buy credit card.
Dude, do you ever, do you carry,
do you mind if I ask you, like, do you carry a balance
on your credit card for month to month?
Or do you pay it off every month?
Occasionally.
You do?
Yeah.
You ever see, you know what the interest payment is
on something like that?
No.
I think it's like 22%.
It's insane.
Really?
Oh my God.
Credit card companies do not want you
to actually pay off your balance every month.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
The way that they make money is by having you carry
credit over and then having to pay
Is it really 20%?
interest on that. It's an insane number 20% is feels like a legal
It's it's ridiculous. It's insane how high credit card
Fucking interest rates are yeah, that's steep. Let me look at once a month. I'm paying mine off right now
I thought you're supposed to keep it to raise your credit score
my dumbass
Yeah, that's what I've been doing.
Or not. Credit card.
Not me directly.
But you threw friends.
Yeah, average credit card interest rate is currently 24.2%.
So what does that mean?
Okay, so let's say that you decide to carry a balance
of $1,000 this month to the next you pay off the rest
Of your balance, but you're like, you know what? I got some things I want to buy and so I'm just gonna push this payment down the road
That means that next month
You're gonna owe obviously at some point that a thousand dollars plus
another
242 dollars. Yeah, I've just at $1,000 plus another $242.
Yeah.
Of just, shh.
Like tax pay, of like just fuck you money.
Yeah, that's crazy.
On top, and then if you don't pay that off.
That's what it means to me.
Now you're paying interest on the 1,000 plus the 242.
Yeah.
What if I hit my monthly,
what if I hit the monthly minimum?
That's not, that's how they get you.
They're like, or you can just pay your $65 monthly minimum.
That's nothing, that doesn't do anything.
Yeah, that's a new math.
That carries your interest,
you're still gonna pay the interest payment.
Just means you won't pay a penalty.
What the fuck?
Yeah, they gotta teach us this.
Yeah, dude, that is something to teach,
do whatever you can, I mean, to not pay your something to to teach. Do whatever you
can. I mean, to not pay your to
to not to to pay off your
monthly balance. Yeah. Your
statement every month.
Interesting. That's a big
thing. Credit card debt, man,
gets scary. That hole gets
bigger and bigger each month. Yeah. The longer you-
I was just carrying it for fun.
I thought that it was fun to have a little bit of-
I thought it was good.
Yeah, I thought it was good to keep a little in there.
I don't know.
I mean, look, there are other ways to raise your credit score.
They say that having multiple credit cards open
and so that you can spend small percentages of your allowance of your credit
limit. Keeping your credit limit low across multiple credit cards is allegedly quite good
for your credit score. Interesting. Yeah. Well, I've just been proven to be a fucking idiot.
Yep. I mean, maybe I'm dead wrong. I don't know. That was always what I was taught. You got to pay off your balance every month.
Otherwise-
I'm gonna charge 20% every month.
24% probably.
You?
You don't see that number go up?
You don't see the like interest payment?
I mean-
I gotta look into that.
Probably just gets added.
I check my credit card statement like every single day.
Is that the member guest?
It is, yeah.
Oh, you're letting somebody in?
Yeah.
Package?
Package?
That's gonna be gone.
Big ass book?
Yeah.
You gotta just, all right.
Oh shit, it's the box of cockroaches I dropped off.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's the cockroach food.
It's the cock box. They need to eat. It's the cockroach food. It's the
cock box. They need to eat. It's the hamburger helper. All right, Tash is
dying to end this. I gotta piss so bad. All right, did we get to an hour?
Okay. Amazing. Fine. All right, we will see you guys next episode.
Thank you for listening.
Thanks for listening.
We'll be doing Sheboygan.
Sheboygan, Ron's gonna be in Sheboygan.
Make sure you get tickets for that.
And Champagne, Illinois.
Nice, I'll be in a bunch of places this fall.
Phoenix. The fall of Francis.
Phoenix, among others,
fucking Boston, Philly, all the hits all the all the top dogs
come out punch up dot live slash Francis Ellis, San Diego as
well.
Sass dates. Come on, bro.
I don't have anything. Nothing to promote. Listen to the
podcast, share the podcast with your friends.
Grow the podcast.
Where this is on you guys now, still, still underground. I was only falling one way I was only falling one way My dreams were drifting
For, for was I
So, so then you listened
Now I come alive
I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way
Banished to your right
Did you realize
No one can take me alive
I was only falling one way
See it just a distant light Be it fast, forever bright
Call it just a memory
Take my hand and you can see I'm Oh
Is Banished to your earth Did you realize
No one could take me alive