Son of a Boy Dad - Feels Like Covid | Son of a Boy Dad #179

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Feels Like Covid | Son of a Boy Dad #179 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad experience. Today it is Tuesday, it is March 5th, 2021, 2024, and we are live from multiple different locations. Guys, what the hell's going on here? What are we doing? I was saying 2021 because it's kind of like a, we're all on Zoom.

It's like a COVID vibe. It is a little bit of a COVID vibe, but how fun is that? I think that's fun. Not having to leave your home. Except Francis, you did leave. Actually actually both of you guys left your home. So I guess that doesn't count at all. I certainly assumed you would be at the office with me. I actually thought you and I were both going to be in the studio together. And then I remembered, well, if if there's an opportunity for you to stay home, oh, of course, I'm going to stay home. Yeah course i'm gonna stay home yeah then you're not going

anywhere no but i also have to upload this on youtube so it's faster for me to do it from here because i have better wi-fi than the office does all i do is think about my wi-fi and how i can make it even faster i have the highest package i pay the most amount of money that i possibly can without getting that grain wi-fi you're yeah the only thing that you could do faster would be to plug into the grid like the pods and the matrix yeah exactly if you physically linked into the grid that's the only way that you could there there's any way that you could have faster wi-fi but you also would do anything for an excuse not to come into the office that is also true the only reason that you're even

recording this with us because me and francis could have done it yesterday from the office but you just didn't want to be like i'm missing an episode of son of a boy dad exactly because i love this show so goddamn much because you're scared of dave so goddamn hard dude i have to he literally said when we had my meeting he said you're not allowed to miss any son of a boy dads and then you guys were like we could just record one and i was like no fuck i'll drive i'll drive back from san diego i was i saw you caught a fish yeah bass dude people were shitting on me still why they're saying because i used a spin rod they're saying no spin rod you're not a real

fisherman which they're kind of just saying what i've always said so i get it but also um the reason i was using a spin rod was because i didn't bring my fly rod and then we just went to walmart and we bought fucking 19 fishing rods it's pretty impressive that you bought that you caught a fish at all with one of those pieces of shit now it's really not i mean it was dude people were catching fish all over the place it was crazy should you have caught more than one i mean are we definitely disappointed in you definitely why'd you only catch one i don't know and i caught one on my last cast gardini caught one early and then he didn't catch anything else and then i was like i guess they're

not biting anymore and i started reeling it in to leave and a fucking fish came up and just smacked my plastic worm i feel like that's kind of a fallacy when you say you did it on your last cast because it's like it was your last cast because you caught one that's like when people are like oh i finally found it you'd never guess it was in the last place i looked like no it was in the last place you wouldn't have kept on looking if you had if you didn't find it you would never believe it it was the last place i looked yeah god damn but that's why that's why you're the goat bro but uh you would have casting do you think that when people say that that's such a funny point where the last place I looked do you think they're saying it was the most recent place or it was the last place I would have

thought to have looked I bet that they they probably wish that they mean the last place I would have thought to have looked. I bet that they probably wish that they mean the last place that they would have thought they looked. But really, like, they're probably just like, yeah, it was the last place I'd... Right. So they're not... I'm with you. I think maybe that's what they think they're saying, but they're not getting it there. They're not getting that across.

And they're exposing that they're like, kind of, it's just like, they're dumb. Like, they don't consider that they stopped looking because they found what they found like that they think that they were really going to give up looking which brings us back to young harry here who thought that he was going to leave the fishing spot because it was going to be his last cast i mean we could i could call gardini right now and he would agree he would say it was my last i was literally reeling it in to go home and like two feet from the shore a bass just came up and smacked my lure your lure beautiful moment you know what i was thinking about do you ever think that maybe there's a couple where at some point they were on a dinner date

and the man started choking on a piece of food and his wife performed the heimlich maneuver and that was the light bulb moment where they both realized they wanted to try pegging maybe i could see that being the cause of a divorce. I mean, I think a wife saving your life by basically fucking you from behind Oh, is the Heimlich? The Heimlich is the one where you grab onto them from behind

and you squeeze their tummy? Yeah. Okay. There's a lot of people like to be choked. So if you've got, you know, some lasagna already down there or a big piece of steak and your air is jeopardized and then you got your wife behind you with her arms around your hips and midriff just take it get it out you know i think there's a i think there's a decent chance that heimlich was a pervert and that there's a better way to do it and And he's like, no, it's the only way to do this is you have to get behind and thrust.

You probably could lay someone down and push up. The fact that you have to get behind a t-ball coach and thrust to full body thrust is kind of nasty and sick. Heimlich was a real person? I'm sure. We should do some research. But I also think it's so arrogant of him to insist to be called his maneuver instead of just like the heimlich move or the heimlich procedure process it's so caution he thinks he's 50 50 shades of gray and over here you have to try the Heimlich maneuver.

In thinking about this, it also occurred to me that when a man says to his family, get behind me, it is simultaneously the most manly thing he can say, but also could

be the gayest thing that he could say. Yeah, what do you want to do behind me fuck me in the ass get behind me saddle up you know what's next yeah yeah put the fucking put the cock on yeah exactly what's the dishwasher on heavy duty pots and pans to make sure it was clean from last time. That's why whenever NATO is like, all of our allies are behind us. It's like, what the fuck, NATO? Dude, that's why I never got into the pocket pussy game

was because people say that you have to like wash them in like boiling water. There was a great uh a book that i read a military book of short stories about um i don't know guys in iraq who one of which i think it was a novel but it was it was not it was fiction but he said that an entire platoon of marines was sharing a pocket pussy and they all got herpes from sharing pocket pussy. Yeah, I mean, that's not surprising at all. That's disgusting. That's fucking so gross.

Do you do when if you have like how many people are in a platoon? Twenty fifteen. I don't know. I would expect you to know after you read that book, you'd think they would specify the amount of people using the fucking vagina. I was more focused on the herpes phenomenon. I was more thinking, what do you think? Does someone in that crew have to have herpes? Or did they start a new type of herpes by all putting their dicks into the plastic vagina?

20 to 50 soldiers uh if you got 50 dudes it just it doesn't just come from nowhere you can't just spawn it you can't just spawn it in no you would think if 50 dudes are fucking the same pocket pussy herpes would just appear like bloody mary yeah exactly yeah like something's happening something's happening sure but i i don't know you know it's not like in in buildings that are under construction where when you leave two wet rags in a bucket and all of a sudden the chemicals somehow spontaneously combust and create a fire it's not like that but it is like if you leave like moldy food like the fact that mold or bacteria like that will just come out of nowhere is is a peculiarity that like uh like a mold can just start forming out of something that was otherwise fine or healthy or

you know i guess it's just the rotting of living bacteria, but there's living bacteria in sperm, like maybe that. And my guess to Harry's question would be that rather than causing herpes out of nowhere, if you combine that many ejaculations, you could probably use that to create a Greek yogurt culture or perhaps a sourdough starter. Yeah, the mother of a kombucha that is very good enzymes yeah it's very interesting i never thought about it like that it'd be good to probably drink it would probably like cure most types of uh nasty gut health is a good gut health yeah drank the

bottom of the the fleshlight like a big gulp you guys are now you guys are on your freak shit today that's why they need shit they need to have like uh what does a trombone have like a spit valve yeah yeah yeah those on the flashlight oh dude that's so gross push down so all the boys so fucking gross i could throw up right now thinking about that. Clear out the spit valve. Ew. Blow into the fleshlight. Enough. Enough out of you. I wanted, by the way, my goal in bringing that question to the group today was to be the first one on the podcast today to make it us talk about gay things.

Because we do that every episode. And I wanted to be the first. Son of a gay dad. Yes, that's right better gay stuff welcome back to the gayest podcast in in barstool right next to out in the back a bunch of gay curious topics we're curious as hell and we're asking the real questions about the gay shit three straight guys with a lot of questions we got to get into like old school radio intros

welcome back to son of a boy dad three straight guys with a lot of questions about gay stuff i i actually strongly dislike that piao piao piao sound because like i think like uh improv groups got a hold of that in like 2008 and they would just be like piao piao piao sound because like i think like uh improv groups got a hold of that in like 2008 and they would just be like piao piao piao improv groups our daddy's back really i always thought it was just like a new york radio thing like cypher sounds was always it was and then improv groups got a hold of it and then it just turned into like this band camp like weird uh redheads love it francis not not this one that's right is there how's your eye you have like a little right can you die it's not i was gonna ask about that now it's now it's a little better but man it was getting a little spooky over the weekend what is a stye it is a stye and it was getting a little spooky over the weekend what is a sty it is a sty and it was so deep in

the lid that it i could didn't know what was going on but i thought it might be a sty so i was using these sty eye drops yeah which it turned out i was allergic to that caused an allergic reaction on the upper lid. And this big red line started fucking spider webbing out to my face. And that really scared me. I mean, anytime you have something you don't understand going on with your eye, it's like. I don't know if that's I. What would you say the part of the body that if you had something you didn't know what was going on? The dick for sure. It is obviously the dick.

It's dick first, but then. And then the asshole. It's maybe heart and then and then I for me is really up there. I is up there. I've had styes a bunch. Are you rocking the warm compress at all? Yeah. Everybody and their mother is like, don't make you know, make sure you do a warm compress

as though, as though I don't know. Well, I'm just saying, I mean, you're the one that's talking about putting these eye drops into your eyes that you're allergic to, which feels like, you know, maybe we steer clear from that in the future. That was in addition to the warm compress. And none of you weird fucking wet nurses ever explain how hard I'm supposed to compress the compress against my eye or for how long or how hot it needs to be. What you want it to be is you want it to be like hot to the touch. Like it could peel your skin off.

Because that's essentially that's what you're doing with the warm compress is you're melting your eyelids off and then you're hoping that a new one is going to regrow stylus so you want it to be as hot as it possibly can be like put it in the oven at 500 degrees for 30 minutes yeah and then you take it and you put it on your eye and you melt the lid off what is sty how does it is it how does it form it's like pink eye but not as bad not that it's not it's a different thing it has it's a bacteria i think it's a bacterial infection of your eyelid it needs 30 marines to come in your eye and that's how it's dye forms yeah how did you get it were you eating ass i got it from setting foot in your apartment. You haven't been to my apartment in months.

It was dormant. It had a dormancy period. It's a sleeper cell inside my eyes. My apartment is fucking disgusting right now. Show us the floor. I'm in a low spot right now. Show us the floor. I got out of bed like 30 minutes ago show us the floor

no the floor is not even that messy there is a pizza box on the ground right next to me why? because I had pizza last night I knew it I knew that that's why no man I'm fucking tired as hell that dude those six and a half hour flights will take the life out of you they are and then an hour and a half uber home from jfk jesus christ bro i had a i had

an hour and 15 minute uber home from jfk and initially the price was like 70 bucks, but the traffic was so bad that when the ride ended, they kicked it up to $125. Jesus Christ. But I contested it. I contested it and Uber reverted to the original fee, which was actually, I thought, pretty good of them. $125 is insane. Yeah. I've been having great Uber rides. I've been having incredible conversation, specifically with my Indian, Pakistani, and Bangladeshi brothers.

Really? I have been having no conversation with any of them. I drove to JFK yesterday. There wasn't a single lull in the conversation with my Bangladeshi brother. Not a single lull. And he was like, I was, when I came to this country, I was a Democrat. And now the way that everything's going, I don't apologize. I'm Republican now. He was, he was dead serious about it. Pissed off about the immigrants. Uh, he was like, they're getting a free hotel room. They're getting $10,000

a month. And I was, so me and him hatched a plan where he's going to go down to Mexico and then come back as an immigrant just through Mexico so he can get his $10,000 a month. It's actually a pretty good idea. He should definitely go through with that. And his Bangladeshi accent, he was like, no, I blow English. I wanted to be a Mexican dude with a Bangladeshi accent. That's crazy. I blow English. I'm trying to be a Mexican dude in a Bangladeshi accent. We were dying laughing. The God bless you's that I got at the end of that ride,

he said he wished every passenger was like me. He tipped me at the end of the ride. Did you give him five stars? No, no, no. Of course not. Of course not. Two stars, immigrant. Well, you want to keep him humble. Yeah, of course.

You only get five stars if you're purebred American. Best conversation of my life with two stars. Come on. Two stars. Come on, man. That ride to JFK is insane, though. Dude, I mean, the craziest thing is that you land. And when you're landing, you can look and you can see how far away you are from the city.

You're like, oh, we're another flight away from Manhattan. You pass your apartment. You can like, Francis, I see our apartment all the time. I'm like, well, that's it right there. That's it. It's really a so close yet so far situation. And you think, well, surely by in brooklyn it's better than us living in the west village of manhattan in a you know sort of ground zero breeding ground for

uh biological weapons like what sass lives in but like what's on your eye no that's a pigsty that sass is in you got a sty he's got a whole whole other this that's a pig sty that Sass is in. You got a sty. He's got a whole other sty. This is not a pig sty. This is a beautiful apartment. I actually just re-signed my lease here for another year. So fuck you guys. Oh, they responded? How did that go? Did you have to negotiate?

No, they said it's going to be an extra $100 a month. And I said, fuck it. I don't give a goddamn. I'm rich as hell, bitch. I'm a piece of shit when they're just like, listen, we're going to raise it so little. We're going to gonna just you know would you mind a hundred dollars is really cheap i feel like for raising the rent the last place i had when i was in hell's kitchen they tried to raise it by like double but they also just really wanted

us out of that place i think it's two percent they raised it two percent on you damn that checks out but that was probably that's what the cleaning fee would have been twelve hundred dollars just to get the fucking grime off the floor and walls my apartment is clean as shite he just said it wasn't yeah but i mean it's not because there's shit on the ground but like it's like there's not actual like there's not like stains and stuff other than the time that you put the shoes on my wall there's stains from that but that's a quick paint job yo sass was in um la jolla san diego la jolla and i i was in houston and then new orleans yeah you must feel like shit New Orleans is really

it's not great man I don't know I don't really know how to put it look I met this awesome dude who actually picked me up from the airport Matthew coolest guy ever five stars and he took me around

and he's a fan yeah but but like he's cooler than i am so i am now a fan this dude has credentials i'll tell you after the pod but he is i had no business being shepherded around. Just tell us now. Tell us now. He's got celebrity friends who are his best friends. And he doesn't name drop them. Up front. He back loads the name drop. He waits until you're close to the hotel to drop them. Trust me.

This dude is awesome. He's's just awesome i don't know how else to put it knows you know the whole dining scene in new orleans takes you to a restaurant and the fucking maitre d kisses him on both cheeks and then gives you the best table in the entire place and friends and family discount on the bill uh which i know because i tried to i did that thing where i got up to go to the bathroom yeah you slunk out but then i went and paid the bill oh yeah that's like that scene in the sopranos it's kind of a fun thing because then you get back to the table and you hang out for a little while longer just hoping that people don't order more stuff because then you're gonna have to get up to go to the bathroom again yeah you're like this is

more than i bargained for with my good gesture but um yeah i did that and then and then they're like all right should we just get the bill and you're like i took care of it i love that you guys aren't gonna have to worry about the bill yeah it's been it's been taken care of yeah i love that i think that that's such a pro move it's a good it's a good move i've never done that we did all that and then i'll say this so matthew after they came to the show after the show shows were were great, by the way. The show in Houston, the show in New Orleans, great shows. The problem with New Orleans as a comedy city is that comedy is the least talented display of entertainment that that city has to offer every single night of the week. There's tap dancers.

There's tap dancers. Guys playing trumpets. There's better talent. And there's such better entertainment to see than comedy. So people who live there, they're like, well, I could go see Francis Ellis perform comedy. Or this five-piece jazz quintet featuring the greatest musicians in the country. Like, well, what are we doing? I'd rather see Francis Ellis.

Sue me. That's why we're best friends, bro. That's it. And we'll be in Madison at Comedy on State Thursday till Saturday of this upcoming weekend. Yeah, good luck getting tickets. Website.com. They're almost sold out.

Two of the five are right now. Yeah. The others are on their way. Alright. To finish this, Brandon Barrera, who had been there, he's my feature, they were wondering where we should go after the shows. And Brandon was like, well, he's never been to New Orleans before. We've got

to take him to Bourbon Street. And Matthew was like, well, I think we maybe want to take him to frenchman street it's a little more local kind of jazz barry brandon was like nah we gotta sit we gotta take him to bourbon and we went to bourbon street and it was the end of the earth oh it was it's just like every this is your first time in new orleans yeah and is sass you never been i've never been but i've always just imagined it being like uh like when i used to live on saint mark street in east village and you would wake up after a night where it would be like everyone would be out on the streets partying and there's just trash everywhere that's what i imagine all of new orleans is like just an inch of liquid and they're like they're like we actually are below sea level here and you're like this is not salt water yeah it's fresh vaginal fluid yeah hurricanes like the

discharge and sweat. Yeah. How long were you there? You were only there for one night, though, right? One night. That's not terrible. We nipped into one of these bars, and they had two or three rappers up on stage. And these girls from this bachelorette party jumped up to dance with the rappers on stage. Yeah.

And one of them was dancing with one of them. And you could see her tampon string hanging out. Oh, beneath her skirt. That's crazy. I wanted to pull on it. Like a song. There's a snake in my boot. oh man bourbon street is you're guaranteed to not get a good cocktail you're guaranteed for it to be just overrun by absolute filth let's just say it there's going to be scammers out people are probably going to be like fighting best thing you can do is like sit in a barber chair and get spun around and get slapped by a girl with a brazilian butt lift true is i don't think uh especially your speed francis that's not your speed frenchman street would have been your speed would have been

my speed you get a cocktail it's a little bit there's foliage you know it's a little bit more quiet and then we went to the then we went to the casino inevitably i lost a quick five hundred dollars oh and uh that was my move yeah just didn't even didn't even feel it go well i, I wish I could relate, dude. Fucking San Diego, like, I got like the post-vacation blues right now. Dude, it is so nice there. Yeah. I've never been, that was the first time I've been on the road and been like, wow. Like, I wish I wasn't doing comedy right now.

Yeah. Because I want to go fucking sit on the beach and smoke a cigar or something like you dude it was where were you pb la jolla did you go to pacific beach at all no i didn't go to the beach at all i went i went on a hike by the beach the day i got there as soon as i got it was like an area of uh it's like a town kind of no i was in la jolla the whole time fun to say very fun to say i was calling it la jolla to try and fuck with people and they didn't think it was funny at all yeah they must have thought of that one probably their first time in san diego as well probably yeah i'm pretty low hanging fruit i knew sass was having a good time because he texted me pictures of the hike he took.

Oh, it was awesome, dude. I got in. I rented a car and Gardini didn't get in. I got in early. I got in at like 10 a.m. or like 11 a.m. So I had a shit ton of time to kill before I could check into the hotel. So I got the rental car, went to Dick's, got this sick ass lid. I don't know if you guys have noticed it.

And then I drove and I went on a hike on the beach. It was nice. I read some plaques, read some history. Apparently that beach that I hiked on used to be a training facility in World War II. For long, for like snipers and for like tanks. And then after World War II ended, it turned into an aircraft defense base for Japan and other nuclear threats. I wonder what kind of fleshlights they were using during World War II on that beach. Those dune popcorn buckets?

That's what they looked like. Yeah, the flashlight technology must have been absolutely abysmal back then. There were probably early flashlights. Porn pushes all technology like Blu-ray, internet stuff. So there was probably

the sexuality was inescapable. They probably like wadding up like old bloody gauze tape and putting it in a canteen and fucking it or something yeah c4 jelly they probably like discovered some type of new explosive put enough friction to the c4 jelly it turns into asian orange it was long enough you can actually keep your meal ready to eat yeah using the butane have you guys been out there before yeah i've never been to san diego i'd like to go i told you this but i think it got ranked the number one city in the country for young people to live in or maybe just all people it was very old it was actually surprising the shows were good there was a problem with the mic

that i think i told you about where the mic kept disconnecting on the friday shows which was pretty frustrating it was extremely frustrating but then they fixed it for the sunday shows but dude the sunday shows the average age in the crowd had to have been like 60 and it was just all locals old as fuck but it was the dude it was the best show of the weekend by far they laughed at everything did you do two shows on sunday no just one wow people are so i didn't do thursday okay got it yeah people are so generally genuinely happy out there like people are just rollerblading around like or just like soaking up the sun at all times like they're saturated with vitamin d just playing volleyball and having a fetch with their

dog like that it's the most active and naturally happy people it's like a it's the antidote for seasonal depression san diego it really was as soon as i touched down it was just reggae music sweet sweet reggae music and just good vibes. I will say it did rain the rest of the time we were there. But it was very on and off. I think that might just be how it is out there like Florida. You know, in Florida

it rains like every single day. Wow. I don't think that's true. There used to be Southwest commercials where it's like there was one cloud and it's like a bad day in Florida beats a good day anywhere else. Maybe that's just every time I've been to Florida it's rained. I feel like it always gets super hot and then it thunderstorms for like 20 seconds. There's also a song that goes, it never rains in Southern California.

Yeah, that Frank Ocean song. Yeah. Well, it rained pretty much the whole time I was there. That's on you, pal. Sounds like it. Your bad attitude, you mope. You know something that's weird about... I'm going to bring this back to my experience.

No problem, bro. The floor is yours. Something that's weird about New Orleans is that they monetize the hurricane. How? Well, there's like merch about the hurricane, Katrina. There's a very popular drink that every bar serves. Oh, wait, you're talking about New Orleans.

Yeah. You said San Diego. No, I didn't. No, he didn't. Continue. Well, I made a joke about it. I was like, why are you guys monetizing your tragedy? I'm from New York.

We don't have a cocktail called the South Power. But they do sell like Never Forget Shirt they sell never forget sure it's like in the airport for hurricane katrina no for 9-11 for us yes but that's but that's out of respect yeah supposedly it's also so that hudson news can make an extra $20. Our vibe is like, never forget and blah, blah, blah. I mean, I don't mind that they're making... I don't mind, as long as the messaging is correct. Whatever. I found it a little...

I remember going... When I went to Rome, they had something... They had a drink called the Creme de Pope Benedict, and it was just for all the fallen altar boys who had been uh molested it was a very it was a really thick and smoky one i thought honored the victims in an appropriate way i mean uh there's irish car bombs and yeah that's true but they hate that yeah they don't you don't order that and but that's not yeah that's only an american thing right right exactly kamikaze is a shot right yeah but kamikaze

is not as much of a tragedy because that's like a sacrifice isn't it and and the japanese probably aren't ordering them that's probably us being like i'll take a fucking kamikaze yeah that's that's american right there i mean yeah that's like you gotta have war propaganda drinks let me get a hiroshima let me get a double hiroshima thank you i'm getting bombed tonight whoa what the fuck is with that oh what was that do it again do it again what did you do i said let me get a shiroshima and then and then and then balloons went up around me i turned that shit off dude and it still happens there's some anti-japanese software we got going on now what the fuck is apple on

you ordered jobs shima ste Steve Jobs in the afterlife Fuck yes I didn't know that about the Which won the Sino-Japanese war Dude I rewatched Oppenheimer on my way to California So good So good

First class What do you think, bro? Delta One? You know this. No, they didn't have Delta One. Or they did, but it was $4,000. And I said, unfortunately, that's going to be a little bit above my spending limit for this weekend. Dude, I am on a first class upgrade eater right now.

I don't even like rolling the dice. That's my thing. On a long flight like that, I need to be up front. I need to be sitting with the captain. But you didn't. No, I was first class both ways. I thought you said you didn't do it

because it was $4,000. No, Delta One was $4,000. So then you were in premium economy. No, there's only certain planes that have Delta One. I opted out of those planes. No, there's only certain planes that have Delta 1. I opted out of those planes. Oh, you went first class, but not Delta 1. You were in a biplane.

Yes, exactly. Nicest first class I've ever been in, though. It was the one where they have this seat, but then they have that weird plastic barrier around it. That's nice. Yeah. That's basically Delta 1. It was. It felt like Delta 1, but you couldn't recline all the way you couldn't recline all the way which is too bad because you had a long flight Francis your your uh one story about the couple was killing me dude it's one of the great moments

I've had in in air travel I mean truly like I got to the airport, I'd been checking the upgrade list for 10 hours, I called Delta at four in the morning, and said, What's it going to cost to upgrade to first class, they said it'd be an extra $600. I said, forget it. And I was third on the upgrade list. There were two people ahead of me for one seat. And I was like, there's no chance. There's no chance. But I got to there. I went up and I was like, just going to throw out a Hail Mary, you know, lady at the front desk.

Is there any world where I might be eligible for that last first class seat? And she said, well, there's two people ahead of you you but they're a couple and they may want to stick together so uh you have a chance and sure enough i watched them walk up and not only were they a couple but they had two little kids oh and that's a wrap i mean if they have kids there's no chance it was over. I just said, boy, look at this gang. Look at this gang. What a nuclear family. Did you try and like gaslight them into it? Be like, man, I love how like tight knit you guys are.

You guys probably don't want to leave each other. I said, can I take a picture? Because I'm smelling a Christmas card. I know a family when i see one and you know you guys are the kind of family that sticks together through everything i see two kids now but are you guys done yet i think we need more of the williams family you guys won't let a delta one seat break apart this beautiful family yeah and and sure enough i listened to them the the woman was great the delta attendant was like so you guys are uh eligible for one uh first class seat but i think she even said something like but i get the sense

you don't want to split up because she she knew i it. I was yeah, I was a shark in the water, man. I'm standing right there. And the wife was like, oh, yeah, we're going to stick together. You can you can give it away. And I said I was like, yes. And I was like, thank she knew she knew because I was standing there filming them, which I'm surprised they didn't have a problem with and um she was like enjoy and i was like enjoy happy happy marriage and uh happy marriage and i got it and then i got it on the way back too was this what you did don't tell

no this was just this weekend doing houston and new. Oh, really? Yes, I got it. I just posted this. Oh, I must have been thinking about a different time. He did not follow you. I must have been thinking about a different time that you got upgraded to Delta One. I got upgraded to Delta One coming back from L.A. Yeah, yeah. That was a big win. I'm telling you.

And, hairball, I've now been upgraded to first class both ways to Milwaukee and back for our Madison weekend. Really? Yeah, but you haven't, you fucking loser. No, I bought it. I bought it off the top. That's how I roll these days. I mean, personally. Gotta spend money to make money, bro.

I like paying coach prices for first class seats. It's nice to know that I got it. Well, that's because you're also you're already fucking. We can't go too deep into the Delta world again. But I'll just say because you're already you're already fucking diamond or whatever. Yeah. I mean, listen, you know, you know, you either know how to fly or you don't. And, you know, you're just out here kind of getting smoked.

And that's it's people like me that rely on morons like you for not cutting corners to get the most benefits. Understood. I'll be honest, though. The flight to Milwaukee will offer you no benefit. No. I've been making that flight. I'm about to be on my sixth back-and-forth Milwaukee flight,

and there's not even a big enough overhead compartment to put your backpack. If you're on the left side of the plane, like you need to be traveling with a tube for it to fit in the oversized compartment. I think it's not even so much about the comfort or the accommodations as it is the sort of joy that I'm going to get from turning my head all the way around and seeing hairball somewhere back in the distance with his knees at his fucking titties.

I just told you I'm sitting first class. Oh, that's right. So then maybe we'll be sitting next to each other and we can compare prices. Yeah, true. We could do that. I actually think I had credit. That's why I got first class. Damn, you blew your credit. Your credit is gold. I wouldn't have wasted that on a trip to Milwaukee.

I waste all of the credit. I'm trying to spend as little money as I can. It's a short flight. It's really not that long. Really not much. Really not much of a flight. What is there to do in Madison? Madison actually is an awesome town They have a fucking great Great steakhouse

I gotta find the fucking name of it I'm so god damn sick of that shit What? I don't know This place is nuts Oh dude but Madison they got great food and drinks Really? Unlike every other city on earth no you have one hobby

the fuck are you talking about everywhere you go you go to the shittiest cities and people are like well they got good food and drinks it's like oh really they have a good cheeseburger and a heineken zero that's yeah they got they got great they got great bud lights out and in Madison. Well, maybe if you expanded your culinary tastes a little bit, you wouldn't be, you know, like living on one side of the menu. So, so much.

It's just everywhere you go, good food and drinks. And then you go and it's the worst city you've ever been to. I disagree with this take. I think there really is. There are good food cities and there are bad. And, and that's just the bottom line.

Yeah, I don't agree. I mean, dude, you could give me... Dude, Houston, I didn't find to be like a good food city. New Orleans is supposed to be great. Well, Houston has some problems that probably food probably isn't the top of their focus list right now. Like Indianapolis... Like survival.

Survival has got to be up there. Is that true. They're still working on it. They're still working on the murder. I mean, bro, I think New Orleans is worse than Houston. Yeah.

New Orleans has a, but I, of the three, of this three cities, you two went to this past weekend. I would say New Orleans is my favorite. San Diego is my second favorite. And then,

then Houston, Houston doesn't, especially because of the lack of walkability in Houston. You're not walking anywhere. Houston's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. Right next to the Jack in the Box, Dave and Buster's across the

street. They have the seven-layered double-decker highway. Just like one highway that goes on top of another highway, on top of another that goes on top of another highway on top of another highway on top of another highway like i've never seen a city that chose brown as its color palette why is brown their color and how do 1.4 million people decide to live in the brown the the brown color palette city? I think it's just something that you're raised there and you just stay there.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, Austin is just a... Whenever I get married, I'm probably going to have my bachelor party out there. In Houston? In the H? Yeah. The big H.

The dirty H. The H. Yeah, the big H. The dirty H. The H. Yeah, I really have never had a good time in Houston or Dallas, really. I actually like Dallas. I think Dallas is a good city. It's only because I sold well out there, though. Yeah, you base it all on whether

300 people come to see you. Exactly. Well, that's what I was saying to Francis, was the thing with fucking San Diego, it's like it doesn't even matter exactly well that's what i was saying to francis was the thing with fucking uh with san diego it's like it doesn't even matter how the shows go because it's so fun already chloroforming us what the fuck was that i was wiping off my screen but dude i mean it like it's so nice sort of smog in your apartment your fucking hazardous air rating from the epa today in there

dude the the thing about san diego is that everyone there is really cool yeah but there are a lot of transplants though nobody's like from san diego yeah that's what i heard that's what they that's what some dude was telling me because i was asking about the paragliding situation out there because it's a strong paragliding community yeah i can see you signing up for that i can see you know well no i was i won't even go to a won't go to a restaurant for lunch but paragliding you're gonna get a turkey sandwich is too much of a risk but i'll go ahead and fucking strap on to the back of a fucking 12-foot yacht that a guy named Brock is driving, shit-faced, at 2 in the afternoon.

No, you're mixing up paragliding with something else, bro. Paragliding. Paragliding, you jump off of a mountain? Oh, that's even more deadly. I know. Dude, I talked about it on stage the whole weekend, and I would get mixed reviews. But, dude, there was one time I took a photo, dude i i did i talked about it on stage the whole weekend and i would get mixed reviews but dude

there was one time i took a photo and i sent it or i think i sent it to you francis too but i sent it to my mom while i was on my hike and then i zoomed in and i thought it was birds and i realized it was people in the sky they're just high as hell up in the air. It must be high as hell if you're going to try that shit, bro. Hundreds of them. I wasn't going to try it. Oh, yeah. You can send this to me, but your mom forwarded it to me. That's funny.

When I got to South Africa this summer, we went to this beautiful peak, and our guide was like, yeah yeah yesterday someone died jumping off there really really paragliders had just freshly died and there's still other people paragliding they say they smacked into each other in the air that's fucking terrifying they say that um if you jump out of an airplane or fall off a building without a parachute, there's actually a sort of protocol that you should go through to try to give yourself the best chance of survival. What is, what is that land on your feet?

Swear to God, cause it's going to all the bones in your legs are going to break, but it sort of gives you the best chance of protecting your vital organs which and your head yeah there's just no way there's no way if you're trying to go like hands out like if you fell out of an airplane and you landed on your feet your feet would like shoot up into your shoulders no no it's just gonna vaporize your tibia and your femur and all that you're gonna those are gonna be in big trouble you'll and your femur and all that you're gonna those are gonna be in big trouble you'll never walk again no so you might you might actually decide you know as

active people maybe not hairball actually i could see harry being happy to upgrade to a wheelchair bro i'm more active than you it sounds like all you did in new orleans this weekend was fucking get shit faced out of your mind and throw trash on the ground i went out i was out in the fucking in the in the world in the nature sure didn't sure didn't drink i only fishing and yeah i mean i i what did i do uh i i walked around uh i went to to get some brunch uh i did some cool stuff with matth did you What hotel did you stay in? We stayed at the Roosevelt He stayed in the Four Seasons at Houston In Houston we stayed in the Four Seasons

I'm sure that was fantastic There's a hotel in Portland It's called Hotel Pontchartrain Yeah we went there And they have a rooftop bar We went and had a cocktail up there That bar rocks That place was cool

Did your guide take you there? He did bar we went had a cocktail up there that that bar rocks that place was full did your did your guide take you there he did yeah that makes me feel like i'm fucking plugged in the fact that i that that was like the coolest one of the coolest places we stayed that's like in the garden district and i had some roof tin roof is what it was called or hot tin hot tin maybe that's a significant uh some type of tennessee williams it is a play on Tennessee Williams' Cat on the Hot Tin Roof. Exactly. That's interesting. I admire that.

That was a good bar. By the way, we also went to a place called Chloe, which was super cool. That's where we went for brunch. We went from Chloe to Hot Tin. Yes, those are like the kind of better sections. Not being on Bourbon Street. Staying off of Bourbon Street is significantly better. Totally. those are like the kind of better sections not not being on bourbon street staying off bourbon street is a significantly better partly and they had they had their street car they have

the street cars there which run along the they don't call it the median there's some other term for it there's there's all this weird sort of lingo in in new orleans where they don't like if you say nolans they don't like that and say Nolans. They don't like that. And then it's not called a median. It's called like a center section or something. And you can't call the streetcar a trolley. You call it a streetcar. Interesting.

What do you mean they don't like when you say Nolans? It's, I don't know. Like New Islands? Nolans. Nolans. You kind of make it one word. Oh, I see. That's like in San Francisco. They don't like when you say San Fran.

That's probably a good comp. You remember that when I called it San Fran and the dude in the front row was like, would you call your country a cunt? And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? I mean, we call Philadelphia Philly. No, I wouldn't call my country a cunt

because that doesn't even make sense, you imbecile. I remember being so thrown off when that dude said that. Yeah, dude. He did win. He beat you. No, I beat him.

Well, you probably beat him in your... You probably beat him by in your mind thinking that it was stupid of what he said, but did you retort with something witty enough to kind of silence him and get the crowd back on your side? Of course, bro. I'm a killer. Let's see the crowd work video then, if you're such a fucking killer.

I'm a stone-cold killer, bro. You know this. What was the last crowd work you even did, you fucking... Bro, I haven't had a good crowd work in a minute. I know. JFL, well, it doesn't even matter good crowd work in a minute. I know. JFL, well, it doesn't even matter because I'm never going to get JFL anymore. JFL went under.

They just declared bankruptcy. That's for laughs, dude. That's for laughs, dude. I'm just going to start telling people I got it. I'm just going to say I got it in 2024. I sent the link to the article to Sass, and he was like, what the hell? Yeah, I was fucking shocked.

Well, I just did my audition. I didn't want to fucking. That was it? Auditions suck, dude. You think they would have given us, like, there's no way. You don't just go bankrupt out of nowhere. Like, they had to have known two weeks ago that that was coming. They could have canceled the auditions.

I took the train back from Albany early to get there for the audition. Yeah, you took the train at 6am so you could nap for your 4 o'clock p.m. audition. Exactly. They could have fucking told me. I could have gone to the fucking breakfast clash.

Yeah, exactly. I skipped coffee clash for that shit and under and i didn't take the netflix audition serious at all because i was like well i want jfl anyway so fuck that and now jfl's gone and i'm not gonna get the netflix thing you should take every audition seriously i mean that's just of course i took it serious bro i mean i still murdered you know me stone cold killer one of the 500 bro it was really like 250. my microphone's getting now your mic's still good you sound good said it switched macbook pro microphone oh no now it sounds like dog shit.

What the fuck is going on here? Jesus, fuck. Yeah, there really are really just 250 of us. Dude, there's not that many killers these days. I'll tell you, two of them are on this podcast right now. Two of the 500. Did you hear Cat Williams and Joe Rogan talking about that, Francis? No.

Well, Joe Rogan says it all the time, but it was literally the first two seconds of the episode. I didn't watch it. How's my mic? It sounds fine, but it's not your mic. Okay. Whatever. We're almost there.

Sorry, everybody. We're doing our best. All good. All G. But yeah, they're like, there's only 500 of us in the world. People that really can fucking kill. People that can just get up there

and just slay the stage. And then he was like, it's really closer to 250. And then when you start factoring in the ones you want to hang out with. Closer to 10. then when you start factoring in the ones you want to hang out with closer to 10 i don't think i'm in that joe rogan 10 bro you're definitely in the 500 i'm not in the 500 you are you're passive at is at the at the mothership bro yeah you're a mothership killer

you know what's asked you're a part of the Mothership Assassin Squad. Yeah, the Green Berets. The Mothership Militia. The SEAL Team 6 of the Mothership sweeping in at the dead of night. The fucking slay audiences. Ladies and gentlemen, coming to the stage next, you know him from Oops! The Podcast.

A core member of the Mothership Militia. Stats waited for my mic to go out to start teeing off on me. I'm not even teeing off on you, bro. Teeing off. No, it is. Big old nuts on my forehead. Your long ass sack.

Dude, I gotta go back to California two more times in the next month. Where else are you going? Sacramento and Bakersfield and Irvine. Jesus Christ. I know. Must be nice.

The tight lines tour. Well, that's the only way to get on a fucking mothership militia squad. You gotta be out on the road every weekend. It's boot camp. You're a mothership militia boot camp right now. Exactly. You're doing basic Squad. You got to be out on the road every weekend. It's boot camp. You're in Mothership Militia boot camp right now. You're doing basic training. You're in the field. And I'm afraid you're going to ring that fucking bell.

Let them know that you're not built for militia life. Not me, bro. Cancel culture will not take me down. I see you fighting against the... We will win. We will win. With your brothers in like one foot of water singing the military song

just floating back and forth dude they uh I went to the mothership a couple weeks ago and have you guys ever I heard you're begging out front for a spot I heard you're like hey are you guys hiring doormen I fucked that joke up I've never been to the mothership

what I was going to say was have you guys seen that video of that dude on Instagram who does the motivational talks and he makes the guy take his shirt off? And he's like, what do you think is wrong with this? And he grabs onto his back fat and he's like, does that make you feel good? And he's like, no. And he says that no one can work for him unless they have six-pack abs. That's what he says that no one no one can work for him unless they have six-pack abs that's what he says yes yeah i was gonna tie that into a joke about the mothership but i fucked it up by saying i was just a joke mothership i didn't have i didn't have the joke bro i apologize with discordant joke structure like what you just displayed you are not even close i'm one of the 10 i'm one of the

10 000 maybe yeah you're not in the five yeah good luck bro you're closer to me than i am to than francis is to man i didn't have the joke now we're struggling we're struggling no i feel like i'm struggling i'm just shouting at my computer dude your audio is fine okay it actually might sound better loud for the mic to pick you up though you have to like shout in for the for the mic to jump over our mics oh no i don't think so it's the mic, whatever. Five minutes. I got two. I got two text messages or actually. So I got a text message about you this weekend and from Gardini at the same

message about you this weekend from Gardini saying we need SAS back to drinking. We're just like to be fun again. Yeah, I was having a blast and so was he, but he just got super fucked up and then was like, you got a drink, man. And I was having a blast and so was he but he just got super fucked up and then was like You got a drink man, and I was like dude. We're going to bed in fucking five minutes I don't need to be hammering down shots of whiskey right now

He had a great time I had a great weekend and not drinking did you bring him to California with you? Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. It was good shit. I guess you lost my number, huh? No. No, I just decided you weren't coming.

Where were you at this weekend, Ron? Brazil? Key West? What? Philadelphia. Now fucking shot. You're never on the East Coast in the weekends bro don't say that bro where were you Argentina

no bro I was in Philadelphia what did you do out in Philly we went to a Sixers game big win for the Sixers are you allowed to do that that's a good question honestly it was a

belated Christmas present for my dear mother. Does Pat Bev know you went? No. But he will because he listens to this show towards the 60th minute. He scrolls right to the end just to see how we polish it off. Or just to see

what we're hiding. This is where I'd hide a dead body. Did you? Because I didn't see any stories of you at the Sixers game, so it makes me wonder if you were hiding that intentionally. I don't know the last time I threw up a story anyway, dude. I'm not like... You're always throwing up stories. You don't like to throw up stories of Son of a Boy Dad,

but you like to throw up a lot of Pat Bev stories. Just doing tricks on it like I've never seen. Don't even say that bro you love posting all the clips of pat this this pat bev sequence at the bucks game last night was out of hand one one three points one three pointer and then one almost steal belt to ass you're confusing me with the Pat Bev show account no dude you're always posting shit like that

I've never posted that Pat Bev for MVP on one of his 18 teams this year hey Roan you and Pat Bev are going on tour together you better fucking not be you better fucking not I'll kill you we're

trying to become one of the 500 oh bro you don't have what it takes what no what don't i have you don't have dude you're just not an assassin the crowd work you got to work on your crowd work you haven't done any crowd work you haven't even gotten canceled for saying slurs, bro. That's how you get into the 500. Oh, I got real close to getting canceled. True, you did. When Ben Mintz was going under, he tried to drag me down with him like the fates, like I was going over the river Styx.

Yeah, more like the Rio Grande. Yes. Hey. Very nice. Francis from the top of the ropes the top of the ropes have you guys seen what Clemmer's doing right now yeah

you go check in on him at all or is he just down there just suffering I don't think I'm allowed to go see him I think that's the whole point of solitary confinement no one's allowed to see him well I think that's the whole point of solitary confinement. No one's allowed to see him? Well, I think Vibs does stuff, maybe sends him a little shit. I don't really know.

Why is he doing that? Because Jerry had so much success hitting golf balls. Ah, I see. That we are trying everything we can to not not just be the forgotten office well i'm gonna try one i'm gonna do uh i'm gonna do like how many tylenols can i take before my liver gives out and it's gonna be like a 48 hour stream and i'll take one tylenol every hour a little tylenol power hour? Yeah, yeah. I think that's a good idea. I had the idea of going into the snack closet once it had just been restocked

and seeing if I could eat my way out of it. Yeah, I remember you said that. I think that's actually a good idea. I think it'd be fun, but I would need help. It's crazy how we're doing all this because an autistic dude from North Carolina figured out the YouTube algorithm. And now everyone's just like, how can we be like Mr. Beast? I just think it's weird that we're all just stealing from Jersey Jerry. Well, where is he getting it from?

I don't know, but no one at Barstool was doing it before he did it. He's getting it from Jimmy. I know. And now everyone's like, let me figure out how i can go live stream for 48 hours straight but to like he's getting super chatted and like he probably made thousands of dollars off of it clemmer is living a like objectively worse life with no positive outcome at the end of it no he doesn't have his venmo open people are watching clemmer's i went i tuned into it last night and there was like 700 people watching at like 2 a.m.

I'm going to check right now. 700 people? It's no Jersey Jerry numbers, but you know, you got to make some sacrifices if you want to get there. He's also not doing it. He's got 1,500 right now watching. Yeah, that's pretty good. He's still counting rice. I would say that's probably

a bad strategy that's way worse than just sitting there and doing nothing well dude no one knows how much rice there is ron when are you so you're moving to chicago right no what are you talking about i'm moving down to argentina you're literally in the Chicago office every single week now. This is the first time I've been here. Are they going to put your face back on the yak graphic? It's the first time I've been here since I was with here with you. You traitor. That's not true at all.

You were there like two weeks ago. No, I wasn't. I was in Milwaukee, not Chicago, you cock kiss. Dude, you did the yak within the last month. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Cock kiss. You're a cock kiss.

I'm not a cock kiss. Kiss the ring, ring take it back bro hey man you can't you can't kiss you can't handle new york anymore you've gone soft you can't fucking handle new york i'm in new york right now you're not even in the office you're down the street from the office and you refuse to go i'm just like fucking steve irwin over here i'm not sure you're in the fucking outback but really you're just in your yellow ass apartment my apartment's not yellow in defense of sass I'm actually not in the office either I just had to put up in my home

so that I could mislead people I gotta get one of those they're giving those out for employee of the month more than the month. More than the Mr. Beast jacket? The Barstool Beast jacket, not to be mistaken. Yeah, that's actually a good hat.

That's a tight lid. If I wore this and counted rice, I would be a Japanese father concerned about the blight that has overtaken our crop. Yeah, like Parasite. What is it? Oh, no, that's Korea. I should probably watch that again. That movie was incredible. Yeah, I've watched that one multiple times. My wife is so turned on by Masters of Air right now

that she's bringing home military recruitment pamphlets and leaving them on the dining table. And I was like, I think I'm too old to enlist. And she goes, where's your sense of patriotism? Do you think the Chinese care about age limits? Which was very ironic to me since every fake ID I've ever had was made in Chinatown. Chinatown? That's right. Chinatown, Boston.

Really? When you got fake IDs, you were able to just get them in the United States because we had to get ours shipped in from China. And they would come in a stuffed animal. And their IDs would be in there. I. And then you have to rip the stuffed animal open, and their IDs would be in there.

I believed in buying American. Build union. Buy from Chinatown. That's right. Well, I guess when you were in high school, we were still in the Pacific, so you weren't even allowed to be in contact with the... Again, you are conflating the Chinese and the Japanese,

which they really don't like. They don't like that at all. They don't like that. That's deeply racist. And we're about to probably hire people younger than you starting this summer now, Sass. What the fuck? You don't think Barstow is going to hire people who are fresh out of college? No, they're not allowed.

That's in my contract because I have to be the youngest person at the company so i could still make nasty uh age jokes exactly you piece of that it's not funny it is funny no it's not actually that's why i'm one of the 500 bro that's hilarious you i your killing is uh like the holocaust people a lot about it, but it didn't happen. Oh, man, bro. You might have just earned your spot in the 500. That kind of shit. That's a little 55-minute nugget right there. Yeah, yeah.

That's the last 10 minutes of the pod, little nugget. That's some war mode shit right there, bro. That's a gift to our brother's billion spot. I guess we're Holocaust deniers now. I guess, yeah. I don't know. All right. All righty, then.

Do you want to announce who we're going to have on tomorrow? Yes, we got Laundry Day coming on the podcast tomorrow. Oh, let's go. Yeah, it should be fun. It should be good shit. Do they play instruments? They do. That's dope. Very talented musicians.

Merrily we snored up these lines. These lines. You got to think of something to sing with them. I know. I don't know what. What's some songs that have been in your head recently that's not Bob Dylan?

I've been listening to a lot of Doja Cat. Like what? Bitch, I said what I said. I don't care. I paint the town red. Ooh, she the devil. She a bad little bitch. She a rebel.

That's a good one. That's what me and Gardini were listening to on the way to go fishing. Ooh, she the devil. You got to sing that with them. That would go super hard. That would go super hard. Drake just reposted them yesterday. Drizzy?

Aubrey? He reposted them on his story. Aubrey's been up to some freak shit as of late. Well, I guess that means you guys have that in common, right, Ron? Big time. That's my freak brothers. Do you think they're big fans of Pat Bev? Are you guys going to have him on the Pat Bev show, too?

No, he doesn't like guests. Ah, fuck. I thought that was like a pretty big guest-oriented podcast. I thought so too. Not anymore? Give us the tea, bro. Is that podcast ending soon or what? Let's wrap that shit up.

I got to get to the airport, boys. I need your full focus, bro. How far does Pat Bev need to be traded in order for you to stop doing the podcast? Yeah, what if he goes and plays in Russia or some shit with Brittany Griner? And he's like, why aren't you out here in fucking St. Petersburg with me? Yeah. Come out to Moscow. Fuck son of a boy, dad, bro.

We need you in Moscow. I mean with everything Tucker's saying about it it's supposed to be utopian it's supposed to be absolutely how are they portraits in the subways it's paradise out there all we have is pores

alright let's wrap this up cause I gotta upload it that's what I just said come see me and Sass in Madison Wisconsin this weekend we're gonna be eating steak I'll find that restaurant name it was top 10 said come see me and sass in madison wisconsin this weekend we're going to be eating steak i'll find that restaurant name it was top 10 thursday friday saturday tickets at lowell sasquatch website.com and if you're second guessing it just ask yourself like how many more times are you going to have the opportunity to see two of the 500 in person that's right

so come see us come support live comedy JFL is no longer a thing. So my career is kind of in the shitter right now. Was kind of hoping to have that for a little boost, but, uh, you know, what can you do? Come see us this weekend. Tickets at francisellis.com. All right. Good shit, my boys. All right. Um,