Son of a Boy Dad - Full Penetration...Twice - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 88

Episode Date: November 16, 2022

Sas may have cursed his favorite NFL teams, pediatricians have their own version of PTSD, Rone was chewing on some international mid, and Sas almost had to move to Italy to shoot several sex scenes if he was casted on White Lotus. lol Imagine. Ads: Gametime Download the Gametime app and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Allbirds Discover your perfect pair at https://barstool.link/AllbirdsBSS Shady Rays Get 50% OFF 2+ pairs of Adult Non-Prescription Sunglasses at https://barstool.link/shadyraysBSS with code SON Ridge Wallet Go to https://barstool.link/RidgeSOABD to save up to 40% off through December 22nd.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today it is Tuesday, November 15th. It's 11 a.m. and we are in the studio recording. I'm looking for a place to put my gum, bro.

Can you hold my gum? I cannot. Why don't you put it on the inside of your coffee cup or the outside, perhaps? All right. That's not scumbag. It's a little bit scumbag. It's all right. Or just swallow it like a man.

No, it's going to stay with me for fucking for the rest of my life. No, you shit it right out. Gum? Yes. I don't think that's true. Mm-hmm. I don't think that's true at all. I think that it'll fucking stay with you until you die. They dug up the tombs of the ancients and they still had their gum in them. They still had their Wrigley's

in them. Their spearmint five gum. The spearmint and the pyramids, bro. None of these fucking headphones work. maybe that's it maybe you gotta it's time to ditch the headphones dude i feel like a fucking pilot when i have them in i hate wearing them why i don't know i just think there's no reason to wear because you have voluminous luscious locks bro well it makes my hair get all flat and then

also i just don't like wearing them yeah i mean I get wearing them on the yak to hear people in the studio and stuff in the, in the booth. But like in here, what am I, what, what's your one foot away from me? Well, it's also just like making sure my levels are right. You know what I mean? Kind of a self-test on the levels. I don't know what you mean. Just making sure my levels are right.

Making sure I'm sound fucking crispy and sexy. I've never once worried about my levels. Oh yeah, bro. Because you don't have any attention to detail. You have no respect for your craft. You don't care about your craft at all. You want to take your little victory lap about the fucking Eagles losing? No, dude.

Something's wrong. I think there's a curse out on me. What do you mean? I think I need to stop betting and stop watching sports. Stop watching? I think every time I lose, every time I bet or watch, they lose. Teams that I like. No, it's probably closer to like 50% of the time.

Dude, the Bills lost this weekend and the Eagles lost this week. I mean, one of those losses was worse than the other. I won't say which. At least the Vikings are good. What do you mean? You guys lost to the Commanders. Oh, now it's you guys? Oh, now it's you guys.

Oh, okay. How you distanced yourself. Dude, I mean, that was... Maybe you're cursed. That was tough. Maybe the fact that you've thrown your full weight behind these two teams. I mean, A.J. Brown sucks ass. That's not true.

I bet him to score a touchdown. He was like minus 110. He was like minus one ten. He was gimpy, dude. He probably has a small injury. He does. Exactly. So how does he suck ass? Because he didn't score.

I think it's God. And neither did Stefan Diggs, who fucked me too. It's your pagan God. The only good wide receiver out there is Gabe Davis. No, dude. Devontae Smith. He's the only one that lives up to my wishes. Devontae Smith.

He scored a touchdown. Plus two ten. But I didn't bet on him. Should have the only one that lives up to my wishes. Devontae Smith. He scored a touchdown. Plus 210. But I didn't bet on him. Should have listened to me. You didn't tell me. Yeah, I guess I didn't. But yeah, I mean, tough game. I mean, no, the calls at the end were pretty brutal.

There's multiple calls. The face mask was brutal. But the call at the end with the, what was it? Unnecessary roughness on the quarterback. Brutal. That was ridiculous. Ridiculous. Is that what the call was? Yes with the, what was it, unnecessary roughness on the quarterback? Brutal. That was ridiculous. Ridiculous. Is that what the call was?

Yes. Yeah, that was insane. And the hit out of bounds? Like, it's a whatever. The call's fine, but just, like, the game ending on that was just devastating. Because I was, like, I was certain the Eagles were going to win. Yeah.

Like, before that, were you, like, they're definitely winning this? I was, like, this is the test they need. Oh, really? I thought it was, like, they're going to get the ball back and they're going to score, they're definitely winning this? I was like, this is the test they need. Oh, really? I thought it was like they're going to get the ball back and they're going to score and they're going to win. Like easy. I knew this game was going to be tough, though. It's hard to beat a divisional opponent more than one time. You know that, Sash.

You've been a fucking sports fan for three days now, bro. That's one of the first things that we taught you. Aren't you worried that it's you, though, that like the teams you're rooting for and the fact you're trying to have too many teams you're getting punished for by the sports gods? No, not at all. So you think you're just going to root for all the teams that are like good? Yeah. That's how everyone

should do it. It's way less fun though. You don't have any... It's way more fun. You can't gatekeep anything. I'm like, I don't know. I haven't won a bet in November. I went back and I checked yesterday. The last time I won a bet was in September. We're halfway through November.

Yeah. It was over two weeks ago since the last time I won a bet. And I'm taking easy bets. Last night was a very straight bet. Yeah. You pitched a parlay to me. I told you to shave it down. Yeah, and I did.

All I took was the over, Eagles money line, and A.J. Brown touchdown. That's like a very solid bet for the Eagles. That hits most times. All three of them missed. No, the over hit by a lot. Oh, at the last second, yeah. No, wasn't it like... Oh, I got an alternate.

You know what, dude? We're such sports guys. The over was like 42. Yeah, uh yeah that sucked and then the the bills i don't even really remember the bills game that well oh no the bills game was fucking crazy i forgot about that that was i mean that was fun to watch regardless yeah game of the century yeah that was really fun that's what everybody's saying were you ripping your hair out where'd you watch it at uh well i couldn't watch like the first half because i was coming back from baltimore but uh the second half i watched at home i think you got to just start being a big a big you got to quadruple your units no no i'm i'm shortening my units i I think you've got to whale up. I'm lowering them. My units got a little too big.

Bumped up from $20 to $25. Started losing money fast. Well, you're doing it all in parlays, dude. I checked my history down a lot. You keep on putting in $25, put in $25, put in $25. Well, originally I was putting in like $200. But then I wouldn't need to put more money in for like a month. Because you'd hit a big parlay.

Yeah. Not even. I was just betting like money line. Parlays are hard as fuck. But that, dude, those aren't hard parlays. No, they are. You think they're not? But that's how casinos whip your ass.

Yeah, I don't know. I guess I just got to stop betting on... I just like betting on the anytime touchdown. But I guess I should probably just start doing that separately instead of adding it into a parlay. Yes, exactly. And that's when you quadruple your unit. So you just need to hit that.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't fucking know, dude. But I'm happy that you've made this a hobby of yours. Yeah, I don't know. The hobby feels like it's you're you're you've made this a hobby of yours yeah i don't know the hobby feels like it's gonna die soon if i keep on losing because if i stop betting no chance i'm ever sports again i don't give a fuck about that damn that's how much betting has its grips on you no i'm kidding i would still watch but it is more fun to watch while you're

betting totally did you watch the World Series? Make every game. Make every. Never mind. What were you about to say? I was going to. A little roll over that. No, definitely. Just say it because if it was something that was.

I was going to say a slogan that I heard on TV that I'm pretty sure is a competitor's. Slogan. Some Jared Karabas commercial. Damn, dude. You're in, though. I feel like you haven't even got to have the football fan experience of just sitting on your fucking couch with a big-ass spread of food in front of you and dips and wings and ordering food all day long. I have watched football before this. But not since you've been betting.

Yeah, but my parents love football do they yeah they watch like every game did you did they make it a spectacle yeah get a big my dad makes a big sandwich that's what he calls it it's like 10 feet long oh he gets a long ass roll yeah and cuts it into little slices yeah i don't know why i never do that because i was i was considering that i i just buy full sandwiches, but like sandwiches, pretty easy thing to slap together. If you just get good ass ingredients,

I saw Jeff Lowe tweeting about that. He was going to make a big ass sandwich for sandwiches are the best because it, I got to start getting back. I got to get back on sandwiches. I mean, I got to get, I got to change a lot of shit, dude.

I was, I was, I've been trying to get back in the gym, but I couldn't because i've been waiting for my rash to fully go away because last time i went back it got like a hundred times worse yeah and i had a scheduled a dermatologist appointment a month ago and last night i was like all right cool this is coming up on thursday i was like they're probably gonna like tell me like because i haven't been to like a real dermatologist yet and it's like, it's like fully like fade. It's like fading a lot.

What if they tell you that they could have like beaten it right away? They probably would. They probably will. But, and then I checked my email to like check to like double check. And it was yesterday at 4 PM. No. And the only availability that I could get was a month.

No. Yeah. You got to just go in. You should just go into their office and be like, today's my appointment. Just plead full ignorance. I might. I mean, it was a really,

that like actually sucked a lot because it's so hard to find appointments. Any booking of doctors is hell. And that's why I moved to the city because it's not like when you're in the suburbs, you can call it the day of and be like, can I come in? They're like, yeah, sure.

You're going to be our only customer today. They're just sitting around. Yeah. It's like an old country store waiting for someone to creak the door open. Yeah. So I can't. I don't know. I don't know what to do.

But I refilled my prescription that they won't fill probably because I got zero refills on it. But I requested one. And then. When did you put that in? Last night after I found out my appointment was canceled so you don't even know if you're gonna get it yet no i'm definitely not gonna get it it's a steroid cream and it said use once a use one to once or twice a day for 10 days and i used it once a day for like 60 days and now i'm out of it and i need more but it's helping like it's making it go away so it's

like yeah i'm not using i use a very small amount i i don't know what that kind like that kind of steroids but it's not even like a real steroid it's like you're gonna be walking around fucking jacked off of it it's like the difference between like you know like the store cortisone then you get it's like 0.5 of whatever the active ingredient is yeah Yeah. Yeah. That's like 2.5%. So it's just a stronger version of that. So it's like, technically I think I could just rub a bunch of the 0.5 on and it would be the same thing.

Eight times. Yeah. Yeah. Just douse yourself in a bucket of it. Just like a KY wrestling match. Yeah. Dude, I'm like so fucking worried that it's going to come back because it's so close

to being gone. But that happened before. And then it like exploded. And it can't like when we were in when I was in Austin, it got so bad. Just step your foot in the gym. Just see what see what they say. It's not worth it. Just put a toe in the gym and see if it starts creeping back up.

You got to go to this dermatologist or maybe a dermatologist son of a boy. That fan could fucking uh help you out that's the last thing i need is people dming me with their medical advice people always like oh by the way it's psoriasis not pitoriasis and i'm like no it's not is that a different thing they're completely different they are they are similar in name dude it's because it's people that are just equally dumb as us. Like we're dumb and we know we're dumb. Yeah.

And people probably listen like thinking, people probably listen to this show thinking that they're getting like some time around like morons and they like can make themselves feel smart about themselves. They're like, oh, look, listen to these dumb ass takes that these two have the entire time. They can just correct us in their mind. Yeah. that these two have the entire time they can just correct us in their mind yeah and i do i i do a joke sometimes about it on stage and people all every single time someone calls out and goes it's psoriasis and i'm like you dumb motherfucker it's like just because it's just because it sounds

similar to a disease that you've heard of a rash that you've heard of, a rash that you've heard of, doesn't mean that's it. Yeah. I used to think that, I used to think that body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria were the same thing because those words sound the same. I heard someone say gender dysphoria and I was like, he means dysmorphia.

Yeah. You fucking idiot. Yeah. But really, those are two different words. Yeah. Kind of similar concepts. Sucks.

Yeah. You know what sucks too is the dermatologist, they didn't even like text me or call me or anything. And then they just sent me an email and they were like, rate your visit. Dude, because it's like some fat, angry lady. They were waiting. With the longest nails at the front desk. Best case scenario is you don't show up.

They're probably so pumped when someone doesn't show up. Yeah, exactly. Like, I don't have to look at this kid's gross body today. Hell yes. I don't have to run my fingers over his nasty skin yeah i'm some child scales growing off of him yeah the w for sure they just go out and smoke a doobie out back and just chill out they just go to the bar for 45 minutes and try and tie a load on those those pieces of shit it's pretty good job though i feel like that's a good one like different types of doctors i feel like dermatologists is a good one to get yeah some of them have to be terrible some types of doctors oh yeah but it's like you're i

mean what's the worst that's gonna happen you get someone with a bad rash or what is it like in dermatology yeah lesions yeah the grossest like lepers like something that's transferable yeah that's pretty gross people that like you always hear about leopard islands and like how people like would go and work on leper islands like why would you ever do that why would you ever be that kind of doctor who like goes somewhere yeah where you know that you're gonna get a skin disease that's gonna kill you yeah. Yeah, it's gross. I don't know. But I feel like in terms of like the on the grand, on the big, I don't know.

I feel like that could be worse. I feel like worse doctors. Yeah, penis and vagina doctors, probably that shit's probably not as sweet. I think pediatrician would be sweet. I don't think that's all pediatricians do is look at penises.

You're reducing everything. It's definitely the most memorable part of their job. Yeah, they do it every single day. It's the most memorable part of their job? Every day they're coming home being like, I saw 10 boys' penises today. Maybe just because it'd be memorable for you. It's definitely memorable. There's no way that they're talking about that at home at the fucking dinner table.

They're probably talking about it at their shrink. Eating some baby carrots and being like, you know what this reminds me of? They got to fucking figure out ways to cope. Veterans don't talk about their PTSD, brother. Yeah. Dude, I think that they can handle it. Go home and go straight for the bottle. I think that they probably have kids of their own.

I think there's got to be way worse things about that job. They're probably looking at their kids' dicks. I saw a couple kids stay with way bigger dicks than yours. I know you're only six, but... I mean, they definitely noticed that. Yeah. I know nurses that have pointed out things like that. Like, yeah, this kid had a fucking absolute wrench.

Yeah? Yes. That's good. That's good to know. Bro, they're definitely noticing that. Like, yeah, this kid had a fucking absolute wrench. Yeah. Yes, that's good. That's good to know. Bro, they're definitely noticing that. Yeah. Nurses has to be... Is there a nurse, a single nurse, that you think doesn't have to clean shit out of an asshole?

Yeah, I mean, it depends on where you work. Wait, Sash, before you say another word, let's talk about GameTime. GameTime, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. GameTime is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score on last-minute deals on tickets

to sports, concerts, and shows, and they guarantee the lowest price. I'm about to go to a Sixers game if I didn't have guaranteed seats. What are you going to do with that? A Sixers game? Yeah. I haven't bought my tickets yet.

I'm waiting until the last minute, which is something you can do on game time. Why, are you trying to go? No, I just didn't know Would you go to a Sixers game? Would you go to a Sixers game? No.

You're such a piece of shit. Yo, Marty, we're just doing our ads, brother. Just talking about game time, the fucking official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. That was playboy Marty.

He's also a partner of GameTime. He also loves GameTime. He's a New Orleans guy, so he probably wants to see some Pelicans or Saints games on the GameTime app. But me, I like Philadelphia and I like concerts and I like shows and I like GameTime. Download the GameTime app, go to the account tab and create a login

and redeem code BOYDTHED for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply time last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed speaking of nurses you know what i just watched this uh i watched that new movie with uh jessica chastain and uh it's molly's game no not that it's it came out in 20 it came out in september actually came out on 9 11 which is weird but um it's about, what is it, Charlie Cullen? Serial killer? The nurse? Oh, yes.

It was on. Yes, I did watch that. You watched the movie? Yeah. You like it? Yeah. I thought it was good. I thought it was very good.

It was really suspenseful. I had to pause it like a lot. You did? Yeah. You got a weak mind, bro. Dude, there was just way too much happening between like her, like her being friends with the guy and then like her heart problems i was like dude like what the fuck is gonna i had to google shit you i don't do yes you do i never do that literally talk no no i'm the one that i've always said i don't do that i would have never

heard of it if i didn't if it wasn't for you and nick talking about it no no i was the one saying that i never i never do that no i said that i never do it i said i never and Nick talking about it. No, no. I was the one saying that I never do that. I never do that shit. No, I said that too. I never do it. I said I never do it. You do it. I never do that. Well, you just did it.

Everyone was saying that they paused, they scrolled to the end of the movie to see what happens. I never do shit like that. I just watch movies straight through Raw Dog. But this is also, this is a true story. So I was like, I'll look it up and see what happens. I feel like that ruins the suspense. I didn't even know what type of movie it was. I just knew, like, I didn't even know it was a horror movie. I was coming off of a couple days drinking and I feel like that ruins the suspense. I didn't even know what type of movie it was. I just knew, like,

I didn't even know it was a horror movie. I was coming off of a couple days drinking and I was, like, a little on edge. Oh, you had the jitters? I was like, this is too much. So I had to pause it and figure out what happened. Oh! Yeah.

But, uh, good movie. Yeah. It was crazy, though. They said he killed, they think he killed up to 400 people. Yeah. Don't say how he did it, but yeah. Why?

Because it's, like like a brand new movie that you're giving a spoiler to oh okay so he fucking put the insulin right into the bag it is pretty crazy how dumb like how i mean this was like not even that long ago it was like this was in like 2003 i think one of my biggest takeaways was how protected hospitals are and how they just like is that kill the fuck like kill people all the time. Yeah. And it's because they have such good lawyers and because they want to be a respected hospital. Like they want people to keep on sending people there.

So it's like if you hear that a hospital is killing everybody, if people keep dying because there's a wayward nurse that can't stop murdering people, no one's going to go to that hospital. You know what I mean? So they try and sweep that shit under the rug. Yeah, I mean... It's crazy that he didn't get caught after the first hospital. Medical malpractice kills a ton of people outside, and when

you add someone who has malicious intent, justice for Charlie, bro. That shit was crazy. That shit is all... It's nuts. It was very crazy. I don't know. was good but it was like it was kind of like i always had this theory that like people wouldn't be able to get away with shit like like ted bundy and all that like now because the police were just so dumb back then and they didn't have like the dna testing and all like the advanced stuff but like the fact that he got away with that for so long is fucking crazy

and that people would just like i mean someone could do that now easily and no one looked at like the advanced stuff. But like the fact that he got away with that for so long is fucking crazy. And that people would just like, I mean, someone could do that now easily. And no one looked at the report. They'd be like, huh? His, his levels were a little bit high here.

Yeah. And that's like all they, all they had like, and then Jessica Chastain had to save the fucking day. Oh, but that's just Jessica. That's acting up back on her her bullshit. Good flick though. I watched a couple good flicks. I started

the documentary too, but eh. Yeah. I mean, once you've seen the fucking the dolled up Hollywood version. Was that Bryn Mawr Hospital? I think that was like Bryn Mawr Hospital, dude. I think that that happened around the Philadelphia area. It did. Crazy. Definitely happened around

Philadelphia area. Philly's different, bro. We make murderers, we catch murderers. Who do you guys catch? Jessica Chastain caught the dude. She's just a Philly citizen. You guys didn't do shit. What do you mean? She's one of us. I don't think it actually happened in Philly, did it?

Bryn Mawr Hospital. Is that where it happened? He was at nine different hospitals. He was bouncing around. He was like a pope that they fucking catch sucking dick or some shit. They'd fire him because they'd be like, you spelled your last name wrong on the paperwork. It goes against all of our morals. You said that you worked until May, but it was really June. When did you watch it? I don't know.

And why didn't you put me on? Why did I have to find it myself? I feel like you don't know and why didn't you put me on why did i have to find it myself i feel like you don't take my recommendations if you told me jessica chastain was in i would have watched it instantly i don't think you've ever taken one of my recommendations because your recommendations are like tron what go watch the new tron movie i've never seen tron what's up what's a recommend what is a recommendation like what i don't think you've ever given me a movie recommendation i'll put you on the one right now what triangle of sadness i watched it in a movie theater sounds good it was fucking

incredible i had no idea what i was going out it what it was about going into it same as this other movie about medical malpractice i didn't know what it was about going into it. Same as this other movie about medical malpractice. I didn't know what it was about going into it. But you didn't know what the movie was about. And dude, that's so much more of an enjoyable way to watch a movie. Not knowing a fucking thing about it. I didn't know the genre. Have you never even heard about, you didn't even know about

the story before that? Which one? The Charlie Cullen? No, never heard of it. Really? I just saw some medical shit and I was like, oh, this could be dope. And just jumped right in. I didn't know what genre it was i've watched i didn't even know if it was nurses really no why would i watch why would i be interested in that you never seen house no house is an incredible show i'm putting you on right now i don't watch shows well so put me off you're put off and same but same with this triangle of sadness movie i didn't know shit about it i actually i i looked it up when i was blacked out going home from the cellar the other

night where i fully blacked out when we were out that night yeah i know i don't know how what i don't know how you blacked out you had like two drinks no i was crushing vodka soda no you weren't what i had like 15 beers and you had like two vodka sodas i mean i blacked out i obviously didn't have two i drove back to massachusetts i got a zip car and i said i'm gonna go home tonight no you didn't yeah you did yeah you had so many beers no dude i didn't go home we had to go to philly the next morning oh i was about to say you dumbass i need to wake up early We had to go to Philly the next morning. Oh, I was about to say. You dumbass. You had to wake up early, too.

To go back to Philly? Yeah. Not really. Weren't you? Didn't you? Didn't you get there at like 10 a.m.? I guess so. That's not early for me, though, bro. I rise and grind.

What is? Because you couldn't get here at fucking 10 a.m. today. That's for sure. I got other fucking obligations, bro. Like what? Sleeping in? Getting eight hours isn't sleeping in, bro. Bro, I got six hours, and I have the longest day of my life.

Six hours is way more than I usually get. No, it's not. You're a 13 hours a night guy. It's the only way my brain can recover. Ridiculous. I need my fucking beauty rest, bro. Were you blacking out last night, too? No.

Too hungover to get in on time? I drank on Thursday and drank on thursday and then on friday as well then i backed it off dude i went to the movies on saturday nice like a fucking real man triangle of sadness though yeah i'll check it out sounds good i'm gonna beat your ass dude i'm gonna get a i'm gonna get a gang of people to beat to jump you into a gang and then not let you into the gang don't you fucking say that dude never watching that bitch ass movie dude i'm never putting you on to any fucking medical dramas again i want to watch a

medical drama you just watch this is it a it's a it's a like another nurse movie no mine is not a nurse i'm already good on the nurse shit. First off, you're falling over these nurses, dude. You're fucking head over heels over these nurses. Dude, but how crazy is it in that movie? That's what was making me think of how many nurses have had to wipe somebody's asshole. They're like pulling over a single nurse, like a 120-pound nurse. Oh, yeah, that definitely happens in hospitals.

Flipping over a fucking comatose 85 like 85 year old who's morbidly obese so they can clean their asshole. Or you would probably know because you're like the OP of the fucking, you're the moderator of the fat, anti-fat Reddit. I'm their like king, but I don't really have to do the dirty work of modding. Have you ever seen like the nurses complaining about like the obese people no they're like they're like these people should not be allowed in hospitals no like it's like and like they make like good points because they're like i'm like a 95 year old they're like i'm a nine they're like an no they're like i'm a 95 pound lady and i have to try and flip over this 600 pound man to like scrub the fucking shit out of his asshole. Maybe we got to pay nurses more.

Yeah. Or get more nurses or get brawny ass ex cheerleader males to be nurses. I know. Those are the brawniest bros. Yeah. Yeah. Or we just got a Charlie Cullen, all the obese people. Maybe that's what he was doing.

Maybe he was like, dude, I am tired of flipping this fat ass over. Yeah. If you clean someone's asshole, I could see why you would want to kill them. And they got to like sponge bath them and everything. Yeah. Pull open their rolls and get them. You have to literally sponge bath their penises and they probably get rock hard dude those people that are getting sponge bathed do not have the ability to get hard

some people i bet do i bet some people are getting rock hard during their fill in their bag with viagra there's no way they're getting hard oh my god 12 times the normal levels of sevinotil siltrate there's no way those people are getting hard I guarantee that they are I guarantee that some nurses have to sponge bath yeah it sounds sweet do you think they do your hair too like when you go to get a haircut

or like a little baby getting their their hair clean getting their fucking hair shampooed yeah yeah that's a good comparison i'm gonna fucking kill you dude i'm gonna strangle you like fucking bart simpson dude till your tongue falls out of your mouth i'm a fucking athlete dude yeah i know i'm sure you're feeling good after your fucking 15 hours of sleep tonight. Me and the boys were here at 7 a.m. After my fucking basically fucking shot from the bench at the fucking Wells Fargo.

Yeah, that was cool. That was fun. Yeah. That's why you're fucking resentful and bitter because you had to play a fucking two hours of basketball while I was sitting pretty. I had to play like four minutes of basketball. Yeah. That was fun, though. The thing was fun basketball. Yeah. That was fun though. The thing was fun.

Barstool bar was not really my scene, but why not? Why not? Too crowded for me. What? You had your own private section where no one could bother you. You literally had a whole table where you could bring your guests and nobody was sitting at the table.

It was basically music's too loud. Yo, you too much EDM. You sound like an 85 year old. I'm going to talk to someone about that. Hospital patient. Let's get a pool table in there. That's downstairs. You didn't go downstairs? There's no pool table downstairs.

I was downstairs. You didn't go downstairs. Not to both rooms. There's a club downstairs. In one room and that's only at night. And then downstairs is a pool table yeah the room has a pool table no it doesn't yes it does i know because i looked up pool bars near me while i was at the barstool oh wait buffalo billiards came up yeah buffalo billiards is open late as fuck yeah well it's a walk away i was tired anyway oh yeah well i had to go home anyway because you dragged me out you

said we're leaving now no i didn't you had guests you had gardini and lemare in there yeah and they're like we want to stay and you're like no i'm i did not want to stay you were fucking standing by the entrance like plugging your ears like this being like the music's way too loud my audio sensory overload is going off right now. I don't like being in like hell. I don't know why anyone wants to go to bars that are just like hell simulations. That's only hell for you

because you're a high functioning autistic person. Dude, I like throw on some fucking Van Morrison and just give me a stick. That's Buffalo Billiards, dude. They got a jukebox. They got fucking Buck Hunter. I looked at Buffalo Billiards on dude. They got a jukebox. They got fucking Buck Hunter. I actually did. I looked at Buffalo Billiards on maps.

Oh, but nothing came up? No, no. It's less than a mile away. It's less than a mile. No, it came up. You just said nothing came up. No, I didn't. I said nothing came up about the Philly bar having a pool table. I'm on edge today, dude. The Eagles lost.

You're on edge because you're guilty because you know you're guilty of what for making me and the boys come in early and then showing up an hour and a half late an hour an hour and a half you made everybody come in early today because you have a fucking different podcast that you want to go on later on bro and you

deprioritize your own show that's not true at all I said hey can we film a little earlier tomorrow I gotta be somewhere and then you said where do you gotta be and you said I'm your own show that's not true at all i said hey can we film a little earlier tomorrow i gotta i gotta be somewhere and then you said where do you gotta be and you said i'm shooting another podcast and you said cancel i don't want to go on whoa i never said those words ever don't put fucking disres don't put mustard on my jacket i'm dousing you in mustard dude you're gonna look like that bills fan who gets sprayed with ketchup and mustard before every game.

Have you ever seen that, dude? Of course, dude. That's one of my fucking best friends. I was literally just talking to him this morning. What do you want for Christmas? I don't know. Probably nothing. I'm probably going to get you Bills tickets.

Don't. Why? Because I don't go anymore. Why not? I'm a curse. No, dude, you'll go. I'm i'm gonna get you ten thousand dollars in bonus cash to the barstool sports book that you can use exclusively on parlays and some bills tickets that would be cool so maybe you can get out of this little funk that you're in well i'm not in a funk speaking of which i'll be in bridgeport connecticut this

weekend funky bridge very excited to be in bridgeport connect Connecticut this weekend. Funky Bridgeport, Connecticut. Very excited to be in Bridgeport, Connecticut. Very excited. I thought I was doing a Thursday show there. Checked last night. Only Friday and Saturday and I was so happy. That's fucking sweet. Because I have to come in early. I got to come in at 10am on Friday. So I was going to like drive I was going to go back on Thursday

night to New York and then go back. But now I can just go on Friday. 10 a.m. on, what are you doing on Friday? Something with Francis. Oh, that sketch you guys were talking about? No, we're doing a new podcast. Shut up. Fantastic.

It's called Son of a Boy Dad 2. Son of an offended dad. It's called the You Can't Say That Podcast. It's like every comedian's tour name. Cancel culture.

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Go get on the nice list when you shop at the Allbirds Mizzle Collection. Discover your perfect pair at Allbirds.com today. That's A-L-L-B-I-R-D-S dot com. It's official. I heard that you're you got booked on Bert Kreischer's. Yeah, the cruise tour cruise tour it's gonna be fun you're doing but 13 days is gonna be the longest for you to be at sea non-stop party and i can't wait yeah that sounds dope as fuck yeah that's gonna be really

good but how big are the rooms though on the cruise ship i heard they're tiny as fuck or do you guys get nicer rooms because you're the guests get nicer rooms and is it like an hour a night or are you just doing like five in front of Whitney Cummings? Oh, no. I'm doing like, we're working 24-7. Really? Yeah. Podcasting, live pods, hours, spots, special tapings.

Shut up. Taping my special on the... Yeah, I'm taping my special on the Burt Kreischer cruise. That's so sick. Just you in a Hawaiian shirt. I hope you smash into an iceberg while you're out there. Me and 10,000 of the fattest human beings on Earth. We just love the party.

Single millennials. Childless millennials. The Burt Kre cruise ship is sinking did they hit something no everyone's too fat everyone's just too fucking fat we're over capacity like a boarding there's only 20 of the passengers on burt keeps on trying to tokyo drift the ship into different harbors. It is pretty cool. I'm sure he's getting paid a fuckload of money for that. Yeah.

I would never go on a cruise, though. Those things sink all the time. No, they don't. Yeah. No, they don't. And if they don't sink, they're getting bombed out of the water or getting hijacked by Somalian pirates. Yeah, that's kind of dope. Somalian pirates have no reason to bomb a fucking...

What is it? The fully loaded cruise tour getting hijacked by Somalian pirates would be one of the funniest things to ever happen. Yeah, it would. The Somalian pirates would be fucked up by the end. They'd be like, he is the they'd be like he is the man your birth is the man legend you are the captain crazy it would be so sick dude somali pirates do they kill like that or they just trying to loot or they holding hostage they definitely? They definitely kill. I never watched Captain Phillips.

I don't even know what happened with him. I don't think they even killed anyone in Captain Phillips. That's what I mean. I feel like they have no incentive to kill. It was actually kind of a devastating movie because it turned out to just be a couple of dudes that got a little bit in over their head. Who, Captain Phillips or the pirates?

They just murdered the pirates. The pirates got in over their heads? I don't think they knew what they were getting signed up for. Damn, it's tough to be a fucking pirate like that. Yeah, it's got to be a tough lifestyle. It's got to be a pretty exciting lifestyle, though. Not anymore. Why?

Because nobody doesn't know about pirates. Aren't they still a pretty big risk in some places? I think Somali pirates are, but that's not a sweet lifestyle of swashbuckling. That's like skinny dudes with big... What is a drug that they're always doing? They're always chewing. Is that what it's called? I think so, yeah.

What is it? It's like a leaf that you chew. Is it like opium? No, it's like supposed to be... The way it was described to me, I did it in Ethiopia. Oh, okay. It was a combination of weed Adderall

and Viagra and my boy Stadat said that like everybody in the country is on it and so they would run out of chat and they'd be like

walking around the streets being like chat do you have anyone after you chat like really it's not just a plant it's a plant

but they just like chew it or they just grow more I guess they're out of it I don't know everyone's doing it yeah is it legal I think it is there but I think they're out of it. I don't know. Everyone's doing it. Yeah. Is it legal?

I think it is there, but I think it's like Schedule 1 over here. It's like the same as heroin. There was like a bus in the Philly airport. Isn't that a whole little, that whole scale of things all fucked up though? Yeah. Isn't like weed Schedule 1? I'm pretty sure it's like weed Schedule 1, but like cocaine or like Adderall or like

things white people do. That was like the first thing you learn when you start smoking weed. It's schedule one. You're like, dude, the system's fucked. Like, why is weed the same category as heroin? Yeah. Trying to pretend like you have any idea what's going on.

You still don't understand it. Bob Marley just got indoctrinated because he went to one dare class. He was like, this is not right. so did the did the shot feel good i i uh chewed it for like we were in this fucking uh resort town maybe two hours away from adi sababa the main town in ethiopia and they said that they like bust in this shot like they said that that's fucking fire they set us up in a room where like the way that they do it's kind of dope you like sit in a room it was like 16 people just smoke a hookah and like sit on these mats on the ground and like drink johnny walker black and bullshit

it's just like a massive bullshitting session for like and they like plan it out they're like yeah we're just gonna eat shot tonight and like sit for like six or seven hours and dude they gave you a pile and you just fucking it looks like spinach leaves and you just eat this fucking pile of spinach leaves in front of you and you just chew it and like kind of like suckle on it or whatever and like chew it down almost like you're packing a lip or some shit like that like get what do you get the like juices or whatever juices some shit like that basically like packing a lip we chewed the shit for four hours straight nothing happened oh really not a single thing happened and to anybody in the entire room like i guess we got some bad shot i don't know it sucks it was it was worse than mid

it wasn't it was like it was like i chewed a fucking salad for fucking four hours like I was a horse just chewing the entire time trying to get high. It tastes like just leaves. It tastes like you chewed a fucking pile of grass out of the garden. What if you just smoked it? That's not how it activates, I don't think. Wow, that makes sense. Everything kind of activates different. And it was like we were maybe like four or five white people with a room of Ethiopians. It's not like we're getting like played and they like four or five like white people with like a room of

ethiopians it's not like we're getting like played and they're like fucking giggling at us like they're all doing it too like they're all eating the shot too they're like nothing happened i mean it was still an awesome time because we just sat there like bullshitting and drinking for hours and like smoking hookahs and vaping and shit like that like it was still sweet but it was i felt like did you go to ethiopia for my boys sadat's wedding oh nice when was this uh it was while i worked at barstool a couple years ago yeah it was fucking fire how's the food out there uh it's great it's they it's some they have some shit called injura uh that you just eat the shit with your hands yeah it's like you just very handsy

food culture so handsy they just have like a fucking blanket of bread. But it's not like hand food either. Yeah, it's so messy. You're dipping your hands into sauce. It's not hand food. Sauce to your fucking wrists. But they eat it with their hands. It's preposterous. Or they're like dumpling everything up with this big ass sheet of bread that

they have and you wrap it up. I'd love to get some fucking Ethiopian food out here. You can get it out here, right? Yeah, I think that's pretty pervasive. It's pretty widely eaten. But they had a fucking at the wedding. It's like seven days of wedding. Like it's a different ceremony every night in a different place.

They party fucking like crazy. But at the last day of the ceremony, they had a fucking cow just freshly killed hanging from the ceiling. And they were just shaving raw meat off of it. And were you eating the raw meat? I didn't fucking, I had like maybe a little bit of it on my plate. My boy, the firefighter who got kicked out of

his house, he was like, fuck it, dude, I'm eating a whole plate of this shit. He ate a monster plate of it. Of just raw steak? Of raw, like different parts of the cow. Like you could point to like, I want this part of the cow, this part of the cow plate of it of just raw steak of of raw like different parts of the cow like you could part point to like i want this part of the cow this part of the cow and it's just a hundred percent raw like pink as can be shaved off of the wall and he just fucking that's crazy i mean you can eat raw beef right yeah i mean everybody else like like it's i think it's safer

than eating raw chicken definitely i. I'm sure it is. And out there, this is grass-fed cow, free-range, no preservatives, no nothing, no steroids or anything like that. So the old heads- Don't get ahead of yourself, brother. Huh? Don't get ahead of yourself. No steroids?

Yeah, I just don't know. We can't ever be too sure with the cattle people. They're going to be in your DMs. Some Ethiopian cattle monster. They're going to be fired you don't know that yeah but uh grass-fed why do you assume it's grass-fed they barely have grass out there it's actually super mountainous in the hottie sababa so the chances that it's grass-fed my boy uh spud fucking or whatever his name is uh he projectile vomited all over the bathroom of this like oh from the raw meat from the raw meat yeah i mean if your body is not conditioned for that right it's probably

gonna be a fucking nightmare but then these like skinny 75 year old dudes were having hulking plates but that's because they've probably been eating it their whole life exactly their stomach is iron their stomach is crazy and then the next day he had to fly home with like a stopover in like the war torn ivory coast. How long of a, how long of a flight is that? It was like 10 hours to get to like the ivory coast and then probably like fucking 10 more hours back. Jesus Christ, dude.

Just after being so hung over off of Johnny Walker Black and fucking raw meat. That's miserable. Yeah. That ain't right. It was a fire ass wedding. That ain't right. That sounds like an awesome time though yeah just being out there being the whites out there i haven't been to a i've never been to a wedding they're coming bro

actually i don't know with the way you churn and burn friends i don't know if they will i have no idea what that means touch oh crunchO-Crunch. Should we try it? All right, crack it. Shake it up and crack it. Holy shit. Eight or 7.4% alcohol. No, thank you. Take a sip of it.

I don't want a sip. I don't drink anymore. That's bullshit. I saw you get blacked out and drive back to Massachusetts on Saturday night. Yeah, dude, that was crazy. I actually city biked. I city biked in today. That's why I was late. Because I had one of the heavy ones.

Yeah? You don't city bike. Took you an hour and a half to get in? From Brooklyn? Yeah. They're heavy as fuck, bro. You dumb motherfucker. You dumb motherfucker, dude. I'm about to fucking leg sweep you, dude. I'm going to go.

I'm going to try the bike out. I'm going to do that ride today to see how long it takes. I'm going to whip into your ankle like a fucking skip it and fucking shatter your fucking metatarsals. I really wish I got to sleep more because I would probably be way more hot right now. Hot? I'm feeling very like sleepy, a little low energy. Brother, that's you every day. Just because I came in at

like 9 a.m expecting to be ready to record and then i had to sit at my desk for two hours just scrolling what the fuck gave that holy shit what the fuck was that dude are we getting booted uh they just need to record ads so like they can wait can they come in and they can record ads in the middle of this, right? No. They can't? They're not getting ads on our show. You hate gay people like that?

No, I hate gay advertisers. You hate corporations that would be so fucking sassy to advertise with a gay brand. They probably have the sickest advertisers too. Just because advertisers want to be linked to the gays. Yeah, they probably have like Apple. Yeah. Nike. They probably have like their own

custom Nike Air Force one of the letters in LGBTQ. Sponsored by those bastards fucking McDonald's coming in to sponsor Out and About. Those bastards. Fucking McDonald's coming in to sponsor Out and About. You got anything coming up?

You're going out to LA tomorrow, right? Going out to LA. Yeah, Pat Bev is trying to get me to sit courtside at the Lakers game, dude. I don't know if I want to do it, dude. Tell him to hop off, dude. Because I'm trying to fly back on fucking Friday. I have my flight scheduled. He was like, if you stay for the game, I'll get off, dude. Because I'm trying to fly back on fucking Friday. I have my flight scheduled.

He was like, if you stay for the game, I'll get you courtside. And I was like, bro. No. Enough, dude. I don't want to. I get it. You want to be friends. Chill out, dude.

I get I'm big bro to you. Tell him you're trying to keep this strictly professional. Yeah. He was like, pool party? Lakers game? I was like, party lakers game i was like no dude you have to fucking focus on your ad reads your ad reads are a little bit too long or too short they make him do ad reads no he wants to though that's hilarious it's like a kid going to the construction site and like just trying to work all the machinery he's like what does this do game time i feel like every time we hire like a famous person they just have them do like the absolute bare minimum yeah like all they have to do is just like appear on

camera yeah and but and he's high he's a high effort individual yeah so it's like uh he wants to do more he wants to go above and beyond yeah And they're like, they don't want him to. They don't need him to. It's big on ad loops during game time. Like any ad read, he'll just say the advertiser, but like sing it. Oh, really? Yeah. He's like the Migos.

Damn. Ridge wallet. Is that what he does? Get one in your pocket. That's hilarious. That rules. We're not going to stop it. You know that we pop it.

That'd be fire, dude. We got to start making jingles for our shit. We got Shady Rays. Shady Rays replied to one of my tweets and they were like, you don't even know how much business you've gotten us. Because they're dope. Yeah, bro. From my jingle. Should we fucking advertise Shady Rays right now while we're dope. Yeah, bro. From my jingle.

Should we fucking advertise Shady Rays right now while we're talking about them? Yeah. That's probably a good idea. Toot it and boot it. Toot it and boot it. Is it hot in here?

Uh, no. We're just heating up with these fucking spicy ass fucking takes. Sass is finally starting to wake up. Got me sweating my fucking dick off in here. What at?

Here we go. Shady rays. Shady rays. Dude, I could have used some shady rays. I went on a trip and I didn't have my shady rays. A long drive and the fucking sun was reflecting, blinding my dumbass eyes. I never leave the house without my Shady Rays. That could never be me.

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That's Shady Rays, baby. Hell yeah. Let's do another ad. Right now, bro? Why don't you just do them all at the end? All right, we could do another one. We'll do another ad right now bro i'll just do them all at the end all right we could do another one we'll do another one later um another show that i've been watching is white lotus and dude the guy that they booked to be in that show is you dude it's so funny really he's just a variant of you dude he's just like a little bit nicer a little bit more positive variant of you dude he's just like a little bit nicer a little bit more positive variant of you

dude he has your same uh triangle of sadness dude he has the same eyes dude he has the same forehead i haven't watched it but i've heard it's pretty good yeah it's very good yeah and dude you fucking fumbled the bag so bad by not being on that show it would be so sick dude i i filmed it at the nicest resort in Sicily. Yeah, I know. Yes, there is a chance. I was never going to be considered to be in that.

They probably saw your fucking dumbass YouTube. Why would they ever have someone who's never been in anything be a main character in one of the biggest TV shows? Because that's how people become stars. That's literally how people become stars.

You've got to be in something before that. No, that's not true at all. That's how people become stars. What was this fucking dude in? He literally has your exact same look. He's probably been like doing plays for this whole life or some shit. No, you're doing the equivalent of plays, dude. You're doing the Gen Z play, which is a fucking your TikTok skits.

I don't do TikTok, dude. You do TikTok skits that you just don't put on TikTok. No, I've been doing that way before TikTok was even a thing. Yeah, Vine. You're fucking suckling at the teeth of the Viners that you love dude i did on tit i did on twitter oh wow yeah that's fucking so fucking avant-garde it is you should have fucking been in this movie dude take your take your opportunity seriously well it's not a movie for starters well whatever the fuck it is it would have been sweet it's it's the modern equivalent of a movie i i don't know what i wonder what would have happened if i got it i wonder if i would

have been able to still work here who gives a fuck it would have been sweet yeah it would have been amazing i would have had to leave for like three months and move to italy yeah yeah and i would have been and the most beautiful part too just an absolutely stunning part of italy yeah they hit you up when you do the when you do the read and they're like, gonna be in Italy for three months. Yeah. Like, holy shit. Dude, and your character has, he's had

over the three episodes I've seen, two full penetration scenes. Oh, really? Yes, where you see the dick going in, feeding in like, so happy I was not in there. Full penetration. So happy. And not in that. Full penetration. It's the actor's dick too. Who's he fucking?

The blonde girl. I thought you were going to say Abba Plaza. No, no. She's not in this one. It's another blonde girl. Imagine if it was Sidney Sweeney. It's him fucking on camera. Seeing me fucking on camera.

It's like when a magician pulls a long ass ribbon out of their mouth. It's like fucking on camera. Yeah, seeing me fucking on camera. It's like when a magician pulls a long-ass ribbon out of their mouth. That's like an actual nightmare. Fucking on camera? I would kill myself. No, dude, you were perfect for this. Before that came out. I would Heath Ledger that shit. Right the day before the show came out, I would kill myself. That would be a way for you to be the greatest of all time.

You know that people would look at you as the greatest of all time if you fucking ledgered yourself before episode one for my first thing ever did he was gonna be one of the all time greats if you biggied imagine how funny it would have been if I went down to do that show and I got my rash you're like alright pop the top

it's actually been announced holy shit It does get nasty. They're like, alright, pop the top. It's actually been announced. Holy shit. For your fucking scenes. Fuck off! We're gonna have to rewrite the whole script. Why is he fucking in a ghillie suit? This is not gonna work.

Why is he having sex in a full scuba suit? It is funny though. I would love to know what would have happened? Like where they had to been like, you got to lose weight. You got to start hitting the gym. They would have given you, they would have flown you a personal trainer.

You think? And probably a psychiatrist. That would rule dude. They would have given you some fucking better help to make sure that your brain was fucking locked in. So you could come to grips with the fact that you'd have to do full penny on camera. Full penetration. Full penny.

Imagine that would suck dude. Having to be like yeah mom and dad i'm in this show whoa that's awesome you're never allowed to watch it oh why because i was fucking a lot is he actually fucking like that yeah in two episodes and and you've seen his like from two angles i didn't know that show was like that i know they were doing nudity like that no penetration that penetration. That's crazy. So the one is like a suspended above angle. And I wonder how they shot it because like it was probably either on a wire or a cameraman set up on a ladder or so.

Yeah, maybe a crane, honestly, looking straight down. And the other one is from the back where you see his ass cheeks clenching as you fucking penetrate. So we would have had to see your like basically ass my ass that's crazy my hairy ass i was about to say yeah that's awesome dude congrats to him yeah until he fucks obby praz obby you all right aubrey plaza is that her name are you having a stroke dude do you smell chicken right now until he fucks her then i'm not gonna care you have a crush on her like that no but it would have been awesome to

be like yeah look at this sex scene with me and one of the most famous actresses you think she's that one of the most famous actresses she's pretty big she's pretty big i wouldn't say one of the most famous actresses one of the best comedic actresses yeah but in this role she kind of plays a bitch. Yeah. I think that's what that show is supposed to be like, though, isn't it? There's a lot of bitchy characters.

At least that's what the first season was. It totally lampoons the rich, dude. Yeah. It totally fucking roasts rich people. How's Albie doing?

What do you mean? How's his grandfather doing? In the show? Yeah. Pretty good. I was supposed to have a scene with the grandfather. No way.

Yeah. What about the dad? Oh, oh yeah the dad was in there too the dad's a real the dad's a real dick yeah he is yeah he's a real asshole but it's like the dude from the Sopranos

I remember that from my read dude get another read I remember the dad put your agent on the phone right now I'm having a real piece of work put your agent on the phone with me right now

no I want to talk to your agent no I actually told them fall back because I don't want to really do that. Why? Because. Why? I just don't. You're letting your fear control your life.

No, I just want to focus on one thing rather than become an actor all of a sudden. Well, how about we focus on two things and you add the podcast to stand-up comedy? Bro, I was here at nine in the morning. Slept for four hours last night. Oh, congratulations. You got here one time on time. No, both times. Let's talk about all the episodes. I think now Roan's 0 for 2 on showing up on time when we record in the morning. Let's talk about the

episodes where you would run out crying. Someone can't get to work at 10 a.m. All the Reddit boys are going to eat this up. When you would sprint out fucking weeping from episodes. They're going to eat this up. When you would sprint out fucking weeping from episodes. They're going to love this. Should we go into the annals of history? What about the mysterious episodes

when Sass would just disappear halfway through? Dude, what about those? Fuck you. What about the ones where we're recording? Don't bring up my darkest times and try and compare it to you being late. A mess up by me means that you have to record 10 minutes later than you expected. A mess up by you and we that you have to record 10 minutes later than you expected a mess up by

you and we're on zoom for a month we're talking through fucking letters dude i like quote tweeted this i have monthly check-ins with erica and dave to see if sass is okay i quote tweeted some like he's gonna heath ledger himself some library whatever you need, says that posted and said 30 books that everyone needs to read. And they're all self-help books. And I said, like, if anyone reads this many self-help books, like they need to be put in a mental asylum.

And everyone was replying. They were like, so what about when you went to Denver? Yeah, dude, I didn't read a single self-help book. And I turned out 30 self-help books is fucking insane. You couldn't find anything

in the first 28? Yeah. I know. Nothing that made you switch to fucking true crime or fucking history? There's probably not

at the end of the tunnel here. Yeah. People like their genres, I guess. People are just trying to better themselves. It's like 10,000 pages of self-help.

For no help in return. For no help. Yeah, you still just feel that fucking and the funniest part is they're all just like basically just like books on how to manipulate people yeah they're all like the one of them was called like ways to make you make you a human magnet he's like why would you want that have people fucking obsessed yeah yeah ways to control people's brains with your words. Wrap any human

around your finger. Have them right where you want them. One of them was just called Do Epic Shit. Yeah. I don't know. Has that period ended

where you could throw a curse in a book title and you'd be on the New York Times bestsellers? When was the time you've been to a bookstore? It's been a minute. They have those things like hanging from the fucking ceilings.

The fucky section? Yeah. Fucky been a minute. They have those things like hanging from the fucking ceilings. The fucky section? Yeah. Fucky shit. Yeah. And I said fuck that. And that's just the title of the book. The day I said fuck it. That is a good ass title. The day I said fuck it subtitle and everything changed.

One billion copies sold. More than the Bible. People just want... I think people are scared of books, and so they want something that'll be like, oh, this isn't a scary book title. I'm about to finish my book. I'm almost done with it. Congratulations, bro.

A little stuck after, but apparently the book I'm reading, Running the Light, apparently they're making it into a movie. Sam Talent posted a picture of the screenplay. Wow. It's a really good book. Wow. One of the better books I've read, actually.

Are you serious? Yes, it's fantastic. That sounds really good. It's fantastic. That sounds fantastic. It is. Any details that you can share? No.

You have to read it yourself. Is it a put on? Are you telling me to read this? No. You have to read it yourself. Is it a put on? Are you telling me to read this? No. So. Just sharing my thoughts. Empty the clip, dude. Any thoughts that you got on it?

Clip's empty, brother. Clip's empty. I got no thoughts in my head anymore. How long have we been going, Tyler? Almost an hour. Almost an hour. Push yourself, brother. Almost an hour with only one ad, bro.

We got 52. Yeah, just do the ads at the bro 52 I'll splice them I guess dude I've been obsessed with Asian societies recently Asian societies? I do fuck with Asian societies dude I saw I said ancient but Asian society

I saw a line around a whole city block of exclusively Asian people a long ways around the city block. Not bad. A full avenue and a full fucking block around and only Asian people were in the line. What were they waiting for? I don't know. Makes you think.

I'm perplexed, dude. I was about to hop in the line. What do they know that we don't know? I was worried that I wouldn't be accepted. Yeah, you should have just gotten in the line. That's so funny just seeing a long line and just getting what is this something good is at the end of this line for sure people can't just be waiting yeah it was outside the container store but i can't imagine they were only wanted containers there must have been something at

the end of the deal i won't get one what dude i won't get one half off i don't know yeah code son i don't know if you're about to say some prejudice shit against my Asian brothers and sisters. Yeah. If anyone loves Asians more than me, I applaud them because it's hard to do. Yeah. Tip of the cap to those types of people. It was the same line for Stella Blue Coffee outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I tried to go to the K-Cups and there was a group of people around just like huddled around being like i had the medium-bodied roast i had it it's good damn good damn good and i'm not much about i love coffee but i just can't drink it because it makes me crazy but uh yeah we should have big cat weirdly makes me tired has it ever happened to you no it does not happen it makes me sleepy interesting makes my eyes real heavy. It seems like you're weak. Yeah, but I can drink 300 milligram caffeine energy drinks and be fine, feel sharp. It seems like- And then I drink one 90 milligram caffeine cup of coffee, and I'm like, I'm going to

probably kill myself today. It's going to happen today. Buy Stella Blue. Yeah, yeah. It's going to happen today. So go's gonna happen today a cup of stella blue me after i have my coffee and you're just dead no but it is really good it tastes very good it does i went in for one one sip and then i was like oh and then i had to go in for another you have to and then i was next thing i know whole cup's gone i said where the fuck did my coffee go once you pop the fun where the hell did my cup of joe go i had a whole pringles can full of coffee i just could not fucking stop drinking the shit hell yeah it's

that fucking good there's nothing better than a nice cup of joe damn that shit's delicious i'm pumped to go home i'm gonna have myself some decaf that's what that's what i treat myself to when i go home decaf is like a non-alcoholic beer dude i like the taste of coffee but i can't handle the caffeine in it yeah it's like you want to be seen drinking coffee with the other no no i drink it when i'm at my house i sit on the couch next to my dog if you drink decaf coffee cup of steam you should cup of joe you should be checked into a malibu rehab facility if you're off the decaf rocket fuel. There's still caffeine in decaf. You know this, right?

You know this, right, you dumb motherfucker? No. There's like 30 milligrams of caffeine in decaf. Put me on, bro. Maybe a little less. No, put me on, Tass. You seem to be talking about it like you're an authority. Well, you seem to not know. Yeah no put me on sass you seem to be talking about it like you're an authority well you seem to not know yeah put me on i have no problem saying that i don't know some stuff

neither do i that's why i say ah maybe i'm wrong just now when people look back no you say that tell me sass didn't just say there's 30 milligrams of caffeine and decaf because you have such ptsd i can't imagine being one of those people that are just like, they're just taking, they're just like, ah, ah, got him there. Alright, time to open up the Reddit. Straight to the Reddit. Let's talk about Ridge Wallet. Ridge Wallet.

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Times article and he points out the typos in it. It's kind of a good one though. It's insane. They shouldn't have typos in the New York Times. And the fact that one guy can point them all out. I should be allowed to make mistakes. New York Times should not. New York Times is like breaking important information.

Or fake ass news. Or fake news. Aren't people here at Barstool calling them fake news now? New York Times should not. Yeah. New York Times is like breaking important information. Or fake ass news. Or fake news. But the- Aren't people here at Barstool calling them fake news now? New York Times? Yeah. Wasn't like their whole thing?

I don't fucking know. What were you saying? Probably. But the fact that like the New York Times should just hire this guy to fucking copy edit. Yeah, they should.

Like he's like a guy who can like crack the code of like some government website and then they just hire him to work for the CIA or whatever. Like, if you can fucking beat the New York Times at grammar, like, you should just be part of the New York Times. Yeah. Instead of just being snarky for a living.

Yeah, that he should work for... They should have hired him a while ago if he's picking it up that easily. They should round up the snarky people. Do they not just use, like, Grammarly or something? The New York Times? Yeah. I think there's a thing called being a copy editor and that's what their job is is to like just make sure that your syntax is in in order it's got to be the worst job ever the most boring people accountants who can't be accountants like there's a also like they don't need to be doing that still autocorrect a pretty good thing now. But if they, I mean, yeah, I guess Bremerly would be able to just put those

that entire group out of business. Learn to code, copy editors. Yeah, you pieces of shit. Copy editors and truck drivers, dude. Learn to fucking code. What's going on with your whole sickness? Yeah. I don't know. Your sinuses. I've just been

sick for a little bit. Yeah, I feel like you've been sick for like four weeks. No, no. It's been like two weeks. Maybe one week, actually. No, but before that, you were sick too. I was actually sick on Sunday. Yeah?

Fever. Oh, no. Coco? 99.9. You think it's the COVID? No. It was from excessive amounts of alcohol. That your nose is running?

No. I was just like, well, I was worn down. I was losing my voice you got a fever from alcohol from drinking cold beers yeah couldn't be me dude i know that's why i'm off the beers now until uh tonight did you see in uh until tonight when i go to the stand at 11 o'clock i thought it was eight o'clock no that's francis oh is one better than the other what eight o'clock eight o'clock or nine o'clock or eight o'clock or eleven o'clock i'm on the nine o'clock but i don't go up until 10 15 got it got it all i'm gonna say is the nine o'clock sold out all right sass think you can get

me in the building now damn you're not welcome why not i told them i said if no one ever comes in here again i'm out i'm pretty sure that they fucking they're like if you ever want to get up man i was like i actually don't do stand-up comedy like oh no that's fine if you ever want to get up there's a oh dude should we should we tell tell the people how i fucking got you, dude? When did you get me? I got you so fucking good, dude. With what? Saturday.

Oh. You did not get me in any way. Yo, they just shouted you out on SNL. And you were like, what? LMFAO. I said, what? LMFAO. I did not say what with all caps were like what LMFAO what LMFAO what with all caps what LMFAO and I was like Lauren just came out and he said keep an eye on Lil Sasquatch he is very funny and I said that did not and you said send me a clip that was after like an hour and then I said I said in no scenario

would that ever have happened and then I sent you back And I said Joe Rogan Just shouted you out at UFC And you said no what did he say I can't say that You said send me the Yeah And then I said I will just move on

And that was talking text And then some bad things were said Some nasty things were said. He really did shout you out on SNL, though. I know. Yo, this is Marcelo's friend Sasquatch. That's true, brother. Yeah, you guys are buddies.

Yep. All right. Should we end it? The podcast? Yes. Yeah, you're probably a little bit too tired to keep on talking yeah well I didn't get

to have 10 hours of sleep unfortunately it's probably tough for you to keep sitting still and talking yeah it's just like I wish I got to sleep in more probably would have been

a better episode but what can you do yeah you got a long night of drinking so you better rest up I don't drink anymore you better rest up alright well we'll see you guys uh next week

you guys have a great week great weekend next week thanksgiving episode next week's special thanksgiving episode we got a lot planned we're not recording it directly after this we'll see you guys then all right