Son of a Boy Dad - Future Plans for Barstool NYC feat. KFC Radio - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 95

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

KFC and Feits join today's episode to talk about what the future of the New York office intends to look like after the Chicago move. We also talk about open for a surprise casket funerals, male porn stars and their robotic penises, nurse gossip, and a bunch more stuff. Enjoy.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today, we are joined by KFC and Feidelberg. I'm nervous to be here. Why? Dude, I'm always nervous to go on other shows. I always feel like I'm going to be, particularly with you guys and with with anus i'm gonna be the butt of the joke when anus is more

we don't really do that when he asked me i was like do you guys do what anus does when i went on anus's podcast it was a disaster when i went on anus last they were like they like just sit here and don't say anything i just sat there in front of the camera. I was like right in front of the camera. I was like, it was like, I think it was like, maybe it was during the queen or maybe when the Pope died and the bird just sat in front of the camera.

It was just me sitting in front of the camera while they just talked behind me. And that's not you being a guest on their show. That's you being like a subject of their prodding and fucking surgery. That's just like where abusive teenagers behind yeah and that's not you being a guest on their show that's you being like a subject of their like prodding and like surgery like we're we're like abusive teenagers and we're just gonna bully you around that is hilarious just have you want to just not speak once i was just like i just sat there in front of the camera just stared at it that's hilarious he fucking roasted me and nick

was like i'm sorry i didn't know he was going to do this. That's a lie. That's definitely a lie. Exactly. The one they did with Compton was so funny where they did their news thing and then all the news jokes just end up being like ricochet shots of Will Compton. Same exact thing.

Everybody says they're so nice. You read one. Everybody says they're so nice. They read one. That's hilarious. Was that the whole episode? That was like 15 minutes. That's hilarious.

Dude, I was like, you guys want me to do what? Just sit there. Do you remember the one he made me read? Nick made me read one of his headlines and it read like a pft tweet like one of those nfl tweets that's like every word is a pun yeah but it was it like called you gay and made me fun of me for being divorced like all in one headline yeah yeah yeah that's not us that's we prepare absolutely nothing that's how we roll yeah We just empty out our brains and just let it rip a little bit.

We had a trip down memory lane in our last podcast talking about when Saturdays for the Boys blew up. There was a period of time where we were talking about changing the name for the Boys. We ended up not doing it. We were talking about if we did, would we have changed the show

and would it have been different and like would it have exploded and we were like nah because we would have I was like we would do what we always do we would do something different for two episodes and then we would go right back to yeah yeah yeah just talking yeah we try to plan segments we try to come up with names we try to do

blah blah blah and then we just always end up I think there is a point where people can tell when you're trying too hard though when you're trying to do too much shit and it's just like not trying too hard for a lot of conversations i think that's what some people like about son of a boy dad is like you don't have to think when you're listening it's so dumb yeah you just turn your fucking brain on it is also people use the word interview i'm like he's just conversation yeah yeah yeah i i'm the same way with that i feel like there's like a weird amount of pressure at barstool to have like a like a your podcast has had like a format and like a subject

that you cover and it's like when we were coming up with this i was like i have no i was like we're just gonna talk i was like it's not gonna be anything well that actually is uh i think it's a good thing yeah in the business side of things it's kind of sometimes it's a negative with sales sales it's like you know if you cover hockey when you cover hockey, when you cover golf, when you cover that, or you need a segment to sell, like you put a price tag on it. They don't tell you that until they're blue in the face. And then you'll be like, I started segments. They don't fucking sell.

So we just stopped doing that too. I love when they're like, you know, what is your podcast about? I'm like, we're the only place in the world that podcasts are about something yeah exactly everywhere else is just like comedians and entertainers and funny people just pressing record yeah it's got to be about something what's your guys description of what yours is about like what do you say when it goes out to press and shit like that i think we usually just say like the the voicemails we just say like i think we probably i think we probably steal what barstool used to be about and is to an extent still where it was like, I think Dave used to always say

it's still my favorite description of Barstool as a whole where it was, it's just what you and your buddies talk about on Barstool sometimes it's sports, sometimes it's chicks, sometimes it's fucking celebrities, sometimes it's current events, it's just, I don't know I don't know if that's what we say to people a little bit of TV and entertainment and shit

but I don't know, yeah, I don't even know I don't know if that's what we say to people. We do a little bit of TV and entertainment and shit, but I don't know. Yeah, I don't even know the answer to that question. I don't know what our description is on Spotify. I don't know what our pitch is from sales. I couldn't even tell you. It's crazy, but it's true. I don't know if that's good or bad. No, I mean, it makes sense because I'm with you.

Any podcast that I listen to that's not Barstool, there's no topics. It's just people talking right what would like joe rogan say right it's like he doesn't have a a thing yeah but i mean i also understand it does make it easier i guess to like do business but it's also like uh it is it is so depressing though because like like when you when you when you know your podcast about nothing and you know it's just like on in the background and you walk out and you're like, man, I fucking was funny in there. And it's like, you know, someone's going to be half listening while they fill out. Oh, yeah.

Like 30 percent of what you said. That was such a waste of everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Falling asleep. I fucking crushed that joke. Yeah. One person. That was funny.

You say some shit. One person heard it? Yeah, yeah. That was funny. You say some shit. One person heard it? Yeah, yeah. That makes it hilarious. If one person went out of their way to tell you it, you said something truly transcendent. You say something funny

on like the hour, like 325 mark of a podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's down the drain. I don't think I've ever, I rarely listen to a full episode of a podcast unless I'm like driving somewhere

that's like a long drive. I don't think I've ever listened to a full episode of a podcast unless I'm like driving somewhere that's like a long drive. I don't think I've ever listened to a full episode of a podcast. I don't listen to podcasts. I've been listening to the Always Sunny one a lot. That's actually a good example. I have listened to probably three full episodes of that. You watched the Danny DeVito one? It came out

like two days ago. I saw the one today. The montage of him eating is so funny. I was cracking me up. Yeah, he eats on camera Constantly Which I also love Everybody complains about eating On a podcast

And I'm like I don't know man Fuck you guys We record during lunch time Yeah Danny DeVito's eating on cameras Oh my I saw the clip of him talking about

Before he went Became an actor He went to beauty school Yeah And he was a beautician What? And like DeVito did?

He was a hairdresser he was a hairdresser and like his how could he even like physically do steps yeah that's fucked his his like i gotta get out of this moment was one of his clients died and his family was like can you do her hair in the coffin and he's like fuck yeah he was like the last person to see her before like the funeral. But he did it? He did it. He cut her dead hair? Yeah. Oh my God.

And apparently like the person that like preps the body usually does that, but the family like strictly requested him. Oh, because he was there. Yeah. They were like, we want him to do the hair. Dude. How long was he doing it? Was he really good at it?

Yeah. He must've been great at it. It was something with like his sister, like owned a barbershop or something. He was like working for her. Yeah. Yo, if I die, I hope Fleischman cuts my hair when I'm dead. I want to go to a punk-ass funeral director doing my hair. I want to go opposite with it.

I wouldn't want to look nice. Well, don't worry. You won't. Everybody close your eyes and think about Feidelberg's dead body. His alive body is a disaster what's his dead body going to look like we were kind of talking about this with ugly sweaters, I fucking hate ugly sweaters

they're so old news next Christmas let's just make nice sweaters and I think when everyone zags, I think just put me in the fucking coffin naked put me in the coffin with a big casket with your brown little cock you got a brown cock no it's the banshees of insurance dude if you haven't seen banshees

of insurance it is fucking very funny unbelievable this guy's making fun of his dad who's passed out drunk and he's like he's just sitting there with his tiny little brown cock um but the uh like like i don't know like what i think i would like to have i'd be in a coffin it would be an open casket but it would be a closed casket like you have to open it oh yeah yeah just have a sign that says open for a surprise like i want everyone to be closed just like a jack-in-the-box. Oh my god. Dead jack-in-the-box. If they can taxidermy

like a full animal they must be able to taxidermy you hard. Yeah. They must be able to get you at your best. Like the Puerto Rican gangsters when they like prop them up

at a card table. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or they go out to the club one more time. You'll just be naked

in your bed with like a pint of ice cream. And we'll give you a little hard on. Yeah. A little chub though. Not full hard. Not full hard. pint of ice cream. And we'll give you a little hard on you. Yeah, a little chub though. Not full hard, not full hard, not a pervert. Yo, we just learned yesterday. I was just going to bring this up.

I'm glad you did. Bella Danger came back through the greatest like porn star content creator in the world. Did you know that male porn stars have straight up mechanical dicks? What the fuck do you mean? Like implants? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You knew that? I heard that in a podcast somewhere. have straight up mechanical dicks. Like implants? Yeah. I heard that in a podcast somewhere.

She said that this one guy specifically, and that there's multiple guys who do it. I don't want to speak for both of you. I don't know his name, but if you saw him, you'd be like, I know that guy. He's a familiar guy? He's a prolific performer. There's like three dudes in porn. Yeah, right.

It's funny when you ask a porn a girl in porn how many dudes have you fucked not how many times how many dudes it's like it's like 10 yeah and you ask a guy how many girls have you fucked it's like a billion because there's only like 10 guys who do it because they do crazy shit for their fucking performance they use injections to get their dick to stay hard, right? And this guy used the injections so much, he like killed his dick. So then they gave him this implant where you have like a rod and kind of like a,

it's like hollow, I think. And that can fill up with saline that comes from a pump that you put in your balls. So you squeeze your balls. It's a pump on the inside of your sack i don't know if they like remove your balls or they just put it in there with your balls you squeeze it like like a pump up sneaker like a pump and it fills up the the the implant in your dick and it grows you hard what get this so this dude he had a good dick his his god-given dick was a great dick. The kind of dick that gets you in the porn.

Yeah. He injected it so many times, he killed his God-given dick. So he said, I'm getting an implant. The implant was a smaller dick than his God-given dick. Oh, no. So he got a third dick, a second surgery to make his implant bigger. What? So he's had three like dick performance enhancing

dicks, two of which were surgically mechanically fixed. And he's got a pump. And Abella was showing us pictures and like I was like, are only you going to notice this because like you're a dick expert? And she's like, no. To the layman's eye you'd be like, oh, that's a completely different dick. And it was like, it was jarring.

But his, so when a dick gets... You can really tell the difference. She was like, you can really feel it. Well, because it's a a dick gets you can really tell the difference she was like you can really feel it well cause it's a soft dick that's been inflated it's not like a hard dick like a hard dick is hard from the

blood flow and the arousal and like everything when you get your dick hard you're getting it hard from your asshole you know what I mean like

your blood's coming all the way up exactly it's not just some pump from from bastion I'm getting hard from my asshole up yeah from your collar coming all the way up. It's not just some pump from base to tip. I'm getting hard from my asshole up. From your core. You can't fake

that. At least the dude, when he gets those surgeries, he doesn't have to. I always remember hearing stories about when grown men get circumcised and the biggest worry is if you get hard, it'll rip the stitches. He doesn't have to worry about that probably if he can't get hard. That's a good point he was out of the game for like you have to be

yeah it's like months months and months i had a buddy who was uh uncircumcised in high school and and oof boy do we bully him like oh yeah it's also because everyone in the school knows somehow you know you could be fat you Everyone knows. You could be fat. You could be stupid. You could be ugly, whatever. Not being circumcised would be number one. There's no excuse. Past the year, I don't know, 1950 or some shit. No excuse to not have your dick snipped.

It is the most blatant you can make fun of somebody. You can't really make fun of someone for being fat. No, yeah, you'll get shamed. That dude's got extra skin on his dick. And everyone's like, ah! You put the hood up and you're like, ah! You can't really make fun of someone for being fat. No, yeah, you'll get shamed. That dude's got extra skin on his dick. And everyone's like, ah! You put the hood up and you're like, ah! Oh, I'm a conestoga wagon, dude.

Sex feels better for him. Yeah, look at this loser. He's having way more fun with sex. I would never believe that shit, though. I feel like that was... They say you cut off all the nerve. Because they fucking have ugly dicks. It's like when people tell you that if you get shit on by a bird, it's good luck. You gotta say that because you're

covered in bird shit. You tell me that you have better sex, okay. The other 99% of your life you're getting made fun of for your ugly dick. And also, sex feels good enough. Sex feels good enough. I don't know. People have a problem.

Imagine how uncircumcised guys are. They're probably starting world wars. I do remember Jessa Rhodes saying, and this made sense, she was like, uncircumcised is better for anal. I saw Nikki Benz say that. Because she said, you're just kind of

fucking your own skin. Kind of like she's unsheathing a sword. No one gets stabbed. You put the sheath in one time. Yes. Wait, uncircumcised guys are just fucking themselves. They don't even fuck girls.

They're just fucking their own. You're fucking your own dick. You're just fucking your own dick if you're uncircumcised. That is crazy, right? But my buddy, my buddy in high school, he like, because we body shamed him so much. And we're still friends. He was on the sports team?

You saw his dick or you just heard word of mouth? No, we played football together. And when they're like totally soft, they're really weird. Horrible. Yeah, when they get like closed off, it's like, oh. Yeah, it is. It's like a belly button on the front. Do you get your umbilical snipped? The fucking... But he would It's like, oh, yeah, it is like a belly button on the front. Do you get your umbilical snipped?

The fucking. But he would. He first of all, he two repulsive things. Well, not repulsive. One repulsive, one regular. He would say that he's like, you guys are so stupid. You have to have cleanup when you fucking jerk off. And we were like, oh, yeah, this is really disgusting.

Brace yourself. Brace yourself. We're like, what does that mean? What do you do? This is disgusting. You might not not even i don't even know if son of a white i feel like i yeah i feel like i've already got to get where it's going he would he before he came when he came he'd just fucking seal off the sheath it up he'd pinch it off and then he we made we we made a diagram of how this worked and then he would walk over to the because we were in high school but we went to a boarding school and he would walk over in his dorm

to his trash barrel and just dump it out that is disgusting that is so vile like a movie when you ever see a plane dump water on a fire yeah yeah yeah was he like squeezing out a go-gurt or was it like

you could just open up a you'd have to like kind of fish it down that's something that you have to know from the first time you do it like this is not normal that's like shitting and like tightening your ass cheeks and just having the shit in your ass and just walking you idiot wiping your ass and spreading your ass cheeks ask this guy how he jerked off the first time he jerked off. Oh, God. Because that's a fucking... This is like I just did...

And to your credit, I was like, this can't be right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I fucking did it. I had my legs back and I was jerking off like this. And I was on my bathroom... You give yourself a reach around? I was on my bathroom floor and I was like, there's no way this is right. I gotta do a little more research.

Go back to the drawing board. Yeah, come back. Come back and figure it out. like, there's no way this is right. I gotta do a little more research. Yeah, come back. A bunch of sketches. No, that's not it. I was also like fucking when I first jerked off, I didn't I was like shooting blanks. I was just like 12. I hit puberty late

and I was probably younger than 12. And I was just like, I had friends talking about like coming and I was like I must be doing it wrong. I think everyone... I think also your friends were probably lying about cumming. Yeah. But I hit puberty late.

So they definitely were cumming before me. But I was like, maybe if I fucking have to piss. So I would wait until I had to pee. And then I would run the jerk off. And try to harness both streams simultaneously. I was like, that's some ghostbuster shit don't let this cross if it's coming out at the same time you got a problem a little filler damn i just gotta piss again yeah yeah yeah but all this was to say that my buddy was he was gonna

get the surgery because yeah we costed him so much um circumcision circumcision yeah and then he he learned like he was gonna have to go on like estrogen pills so he couldn't get hard if you if you just pop a random boner you're right not every boner is a welcome thing maybe they should just give you the surgery while you're hard so that the stitches will not that makes sense actually that's also that's the same thing i think about when you get your dick tattooed you get it you get it when you're hard people get their dicks tattooed yeah oh jesus christ because i think they do it so that like it's a thing when it grows bands it's like an optical illusion yeah it's like oh it's a doll it's like a little puppy magazine yeah yeah that's

gotta be a just instant regret oh yeah, yeah. Oh, big time. The first time you get hard after. This is not nearly as cool as I thought it was going to be. I can't even imagine going through the minute that your dick's on the table and it's like, I'd be like, never mind. I'd end up with just like a little dot. I'm actually, so I'm

of the weird, I don't think it's weird. I think it's pretty common, actually. Like, i like getting tattoos not not the a lot of people do a lot of people enjoy the process of it i think nick always talks about not not even the feeling not like the creative process just like to let me yeah yeah it is like it is like the best and actually man this is this is rudy rudy described this way and i thought it was like perfect where it's like the best scratch you'll ever get in your life. Because it's like subcutaneous.

You're getting scratched at a level you never know. And I've seen like, I've gotten a tattoo with Nate before. Nate looks like he's going to pass out. Nate like. Yeah, that would be me, honestly. It is.

But I like, I like. You haven't done it? No, I have no interest. Do you like to get beat up in the bedroom or like hot wax poured on you or like fucking scratch and shit like that? I've never done it. I don't think,

I don't like being slapped. I know that. Yeah? I got slapped once've never done it I don't think I don't like being slapped I know that yeah I got slapped once I was like don't ever do that I'm with that man yeah I'm like

I am gonna do that to you a lot but if you do it to me one more time I'm punching you we're gonna have a problem it was like it was like saw red I was like

what the fuck was that square up square up yeah put your clothes on let's go let's go but I've never done red i was like what the fuck was that yeah yeah put your clothes on right now um but i've never done like a wax or anything like that so i can't i can't really answer that

i just i just like like i like i learned that at a young age where like like i was like a child still and they're like turn away when you're getting like shots and i was like no no i like it watch and i like to watch the needle go in oh really yeah i don't mind any of that stuff but i can't watch i gotta i had to get a biopsy on like monday and they like i could not watch for the life of me well that's also they gotta like and i had my eyes closed and she was like are you okay and i'm like yeah i don't want to see you digging into my skin one of those weirdos yeah but he said it was one stitch though. Dude, I was being such a bitch about it. That's pretty bad.

And I was like, dude, no, because I didn't even see the stitches. She put the bandaid on and I got up and I left and the whole day I was like,

dude, there's a fucking hole in my chest. And then I went home. Dude, I got in the shower. No, literally. I got in the shower and the next morning it's literally the size

of a freckle. And like smaller. It's like the size of like this freckle on my hand and I'm walking around being like dude there's a fucking gaping hole in my chest I got an exit

I was like I like bought shit to like clean the stitches and I got home and I was like dude like I could pour like dirt on this and it wouldn't get affected I could put shit on this stitch and nothing would happen dude i i gave blood recently uh like like like blood work uh and uh the nurse first of all i think i think i think nursing i think i think they had a good run during the pandemic i think we got

to take it down a notch with how much we love that much credit we're getting now i've been on your i've been in the same exact camp teachers and nurses especially in the city a lot of the nurses are really dumb and they're bad people they love the flex of power they love the little bit of power they have over you

like teachers are the same way too you're all slugs and that's what I was also getting at but I didn't say they're all slugs. And that's what I was also getting at, but I didn't say they're all slugs. They're all fucking whores. Dude, you ever had wild sex? That was with a teacher or a nurse, for sure. No doubt.

But the fucking nurse, first of all, they came in and, like, they just, they got to me. It was two nurses together to take blood, which seemed unnecessary. And then they just they were just carrying on conversation while standing over me like just like like it did not have to it did not pertain to me at all it wasn't they're trying to figure out how to attack this vein they were just like talking like like talking shit about another nurse as nurses do of course all they do non-stop and i was like it like it it was however long you think it went on it went on way long

like we're talking multiple minutes of them like hadn't even acknowledged me in the room yet I can tell you who they're talking about they're talking about

the one nurse that wound up fucking one of the surgeons doctors now he's married and they have a weird workplace dynamic deep down

they're just mad they didn't do it exactly they had their chance and they didn't because of morals. These were two fat older ladies who were like, we let our prime passes by. We're never getting a doctor anymore. They should fuck the surgeon.

But then so they fucking, they go to a vein and they couldn't do it. You're all out of juice right now. And I was like, I'm not out of juice. I'm a living person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had them say that to me too i when i got like the prick in my finger and they were like squeak they had to like squeeze it out they were like wow like have you when was the time you drank water yeah yeah i was like probably like a week i i they they couldn't get blood from me to a point that i i was like

am i dead they were like kind of doing one of those things where they were looking and they were trying to like keep their cool but But they were like calling other people in. They're like, you know, can you come here for a second? And I was like, no. Yeah, I was. They were basically like, is your heart pumping? No, that just shows how inept they are. Dude, humans are fucking.

It's like there will be blood. There's like fucking oil underneath everywhere you step. There's blood everywhere. Just find the fucking. Find it. Find the blood. You were bruised up like a fucking addict oh dude that's the worst she started she didn't take the needle out but just started moving it around like you're looking for the last little bit of juice on the bottom

and i was like i can feel that by the way like and like i couldn't wear a sweatshirt for fucking i mean i could wear a t-shirt for like over a week yeah because it was like i had a bruise from here it's a massive bruise it was crazy yeah that bothers me the feeling moving in otherwise you know my favorite thing portnoy can't give blood he passes out when he does that that's hilarious that's like weirdly not surprising i could see that yeah but it's one of those things oh you should have seen fucking dave when he fucking when hank cut off the tip of his thumb oh he was his finger yeah dave hank cut off the tip of his thumb. Oh, he was. Over his finger. Yeah. Dave, Hank cut off the tip of his finger using a drone. Tried to catch it with his bare hands. This is back in Milton's, probably eight years ago, maybe.

Tried to catch it with his bare hands. Just, he was like, he was like fucking flying it down by the water. And he came back to the office. He's like, I just cut my finger off. And we were like, what, dude? And he like shows it. And like the tip of his finger is just hanging. Oh.

Red. And not like, not like, not like the first knuckle. Like the tip and like the tip of his finger is just hanging oh red and not like not like it was like the first knuckle like the tip from like the top but it was like a a cap almost yeah yeah was he panicked or what was what was hank was hank was real calm hank was real calm and dave there's definitely there's definitely video of it and dave was like you're a freak get away from me and then he's like but credit to dave he kept trying to look and then kept like almost passing out and then he had to take hank to the hospital and sit with him because we didn't have health care at the time so dave just had to fucking pay for it

the best was hank's mom's email remember that yes she like she was like i fucking knew you shouldn't have been with him like this is bad news from the start now you don't have a finger anymore wait how'd that email get public though uh i i think hank like i think his brothers talked about it i think that's what it was i've like seen that email somehow yeah i think i think i put together in like a you know uh uh one of the dana's videos or something like that i think it was like relatively recent that it got made public but it was sent back then yeah of hank's mom being like you i knew you i knew you yeah and now look at you know like mrs lockwood like hank would be like dead in the gutter instead he's like a suit you know yeah he's probably rich as fuck yeah dude i mean and

like become you know he was always like a a hard worker and and like good ideas and shit but he's he's become like smart about like the business and shit which is great he makes good decisions it's fucking weird there is a weird like portrayal like to the audience like people think that he's like really dumb well there is he's a pretty normal dude

yeah no I guess he the thing is you're being a little withholding right now I think well I haven't known I've only known him for like three years withholding not the word I meant to use but you're being a little withholding right now. I think I haven't known. I've only known him for like three years. I don't even know what that means. I withhold not the word I meant to use. But you're being like I feel like you're about to call Hank dumb. I think he was.

The problem is he started working for us as a child. Yeah. So he was like it was like he was a dumb kid. And then when you like you start with someone and they make mistakes like that and they say dumb things and they. Or you just see all their stupid young habits that they have. Yeah. I mean, like we see less like people's habits. Stupid.

Like just things are like, oh, you're dumb. And then it's like, yeah, but I'm also just like an 18 year old kid who's like scared to be at work. Right. And then it's like, no, I'm now I'm like a 28 year old guy who like knows what he's doing. And he says like, yeah, calculated hot takes on his shows and shit like that. He also knows to be like, like like I'm sure he could figure out any industry or company but if you dropped him into

a real fucking network tomorrow I don't know if he would thrive but he's like I know how Barstool works and I know how we're going to get views and I love that he shuts down any outsiders who come in like alright we're going to film it this way and we're going to talk about it this way and he's like like, all right, we're going to film it this way and we're going to talk about it this way.

And he's like, no, we're not. We're going to do it this way and this way because that's how it works for Barstool. Yeah, that's way smarter. So he sticks to his guns and like, that's what he's very good at. He's very smart in that aspect. I got a question for you guys.

And this is like a little bit, it's kind of in the vein that you guys have been going. I don't know what we'll keep it at the beginning of the show, but you guys are talking about how you're leaning into some of the inside Barstool stuff and just like not really like kind of holding back on. It accidentally but yeah i guess we kind of have the way it would be disingenuous to say we haven't started doing that it's only been like two weeks i don't want to make a career out of it but no it's a stressful thing to do and i don't like doing it but once the day

port my show went away i was like i think there's like a market to grab some more views. That's like what like half of the Barstool fans want to see. Millions of people. And then the other half will be like, are you still talking about this? Who's Rico? It is a weird thing where it's like, yes, some people are like, oh, I just follow the Instagram

and other people are like, you know, what's Rico's real name? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But my question is this. But my question is this. So my question is this. You guys talked about it a little bit at the company meeting, but what's the future of New York at Barstool? I kind of want to hear you guys talk about it

because I know you got to give a look. You guys think you guys are going to be the only ones doing the inside Barstool. Because I'm dead curious about it. And I think people will be interested in it. I'm not sure if you guys have really expounded on it on your show. I know you kind of touched on it at that meeting. What kind of happened to start was, I'm going to let Kevin do most explaining.

But we basically got like San Francisco Giants. We were like, all right, we're going to have a press conference. And then right before the press conference, we're like, is anything final? And they were like, we wanted to have, we were like, all right, we're gonna have a press conference. And then right before the press conference, we're like, is anything final? And they were like, no. Yeah. And we're like, well, it'd be weird to announce anything. We would have said a lot more at that meeting. I think if, if we knew for sure, I think what's going on, like Dave has moved on to whatever next level Dave said he's going to do.

And when Dan leaves here, it kind of leaves the office like rudderless. And I think we're kind of the natural uh like last guys left to to kind of run the show a little bit but it in talking with erica we've been like i'm like do we want are we doing this for real or are we doing this because like we just need new york to look like it's busy yeah and we need to like have some sort of semblance of of uh of a company in this big office because if we're going to do it for real i think i have like a good idea of how to do it internally and externally and i think there's some changes that i would try to make as far as how we interact with each other and how like the the company flows

but i'm also like i know i know how this company works at the end of the day i know that this is dave dave's company and i know dan's the big star and it's like those and this is a gambling company and all that but like if you want to do a new york office that is non-gambling that is based in comedy and entertainment and podcasting i think we know what the fuck we're doing when it comes to that. And I think we could really do some very cool shit with a lot of people here who I think are very talented and have been like, I don't know what to do.

And I think Barstool's cool because they're like, go, here's the ball and run with it. But I think there's a lot of people who are like, I don't know what to do. And I'm like, I think we can help you with that. I think that there are people who are funny, who don't even know it. And I'm like, you could be a star if we do it the right way. I think a lot of people who are funny too, and have been under the impression that they have to pretend to be gamblers. Yes. I think we have also do podcasts, right? Yeah. No,

honestly, you don't have to do a podcast. As a matter of fact, I would tell you not to do a podcast. I think it's kind of, yeah. Like it's kind of a dead medium in a way to, to start, unless you're like a superstar, you have your own audience to build one. Now is kind of tough. I mean, I think guys like Rudy, I think guys like Tommy are people who are like, you are very funny. And I think you've been in the shadow of a lot of people and working on your own for a lot of times.

And like, if we get the right people behind you and the right ideas, you guys could be great. a lot of times and like if we get the right people behind you and the right ideas you guys could be great and then there are externally i think they're uh we the one thing i've seen from the comedy world is the amount of people the amount of guys and girls who come in and they're like i spent my life savings on this youtube special and it's gotta work yeah and then i see it and i'm like that doesn't look that good and i got guys here not the content the production yeah like the production value you put your life savings into this cameraman and this edit and this shot and lighting and i'm like that looks like you just put up a fucking tripod at the stand and right we got guys here yeah to do it for you or something

like that right and i'm sure they get you, there's some union guys or whoever, however that works, that jack the price up or whatever you got to do. And they tell you, you need this, you need that. I could send Nick and Pavs down there and they will make you a special 10 times better than that. And we could do it at a fraction of the cost. So why don't you guys come here and we can help you, you know, do your special. And then we got to, you know, we'll figure out some split of revenue and money and all

that kind of stuff but you know we like everything else it's like you know at barstool you get a lot there's a lot of pie in the sky ideas and it's like are we really going to do that or are we are we you know is that the so what does it take for it to to really do that i i feel like it's got to be you know something from above like from management being like yeah like you got the keys to the castle go i'm like i would imagine i think it's keys i think it's more just like budget yeah i was gonna say but like like here's some money to work with and here is uh like some freedom that will exist it's just like we just have no the number is yeah there's been a lot of like you tell me what you want and i'll go get them and it's like well i need to be able to tell them

what kind of ballpark we're working in and are we talking about a salary or are we talking about a rev share are we talking about a one-time payment are we you know and then also the idea of like for 20 years now it's basically every decision has come to has been dave's decision you know and it's like are we are we going to be separate enough from that where if dave says like i don't like a guy and i say i do like a guy and it's for my section of barstool does that actually happen or is it like come on we know that this is dave's company you're talking about hiring yeah like hiring talent or making a business decision about like this show is working or isn't working or we're going to pair these people together or, you know, whatever it may be. So where do you think that like as as like Barstool grows, like where do you think would be like interesting or the best place to get talent from?

Because obviously you guys work with a ton of comedians, but then you mentioned guys like Tommy and Rudy who don't necessarily come from like a stand up or a comedian world or podcasting world before that. What do you think the best way to go about talent acquisition going forward is? That's a great question. I feel like we know the comedy circuit well. And I feel like you would know, too. Like, you know, the names that start to bubble up. Like, yeah, I think this guy deserves it and yeah i think that's a big thing i think i mean obviously going off of what you said about the dave thing like him

hiring someone that he likes it's like obviously dave has created his own little world of characters which is like in its works but also there's a side of people who it's like i could name 15 people right now who have no platform at all who go up at the stand and the cellar and the New York comedy club and feel every single night Dave hates that they like the weirdos so there's a couple things Dave has always blatantly been like I don't like stand up and right now stand up is having

it's like renaissance and it's like glow up where it's like everybody is fucking and I think that they are putting out some like the funniest shit out there yeah and so you know I mean there's been plenty of times I've gone to Dave

with either talking about hiring comics or like I remember when he was like why would I have Sebastian Maniscalco do a pizza review and it was the same weekend he sold 100,000 tickets in a weekend at MSG. He had

five sold-out shows at MSG that weekend. And it's pizza and it's Sebastian. It's like, why would you not do this? Can you take us some people that you've pitched that didn't wind up working out? We famously got to the one-yard line

with Desus and Miro back in the day. I think those guys probably ended up doing just fine. I know they just recently split, but I'm sure they made their money. Had they stayed on the internet and not gone the TV route, I think they would have had a call-her-daddy type of fucking

explosion. I don't know. i'm i don't know i mean whatever who cares was wasn't like cumtown in the mix for a minute uh wasn't there talks about hiring them i didn't think that was more pft yeah it sounds familiar but that wasn't that wasn't i don't know them i didn't know them as well i think they got offered a radio show or something like that yeah and that's a perfect example too though those guys would have been great we brought up to stefano stefano they he passed on i remember dave dave said with stefano like he basically kind of implied like he's just another funny 30 year old white guy and we've got a bunch of those and he was like we don't need any more of those and i was like are

you implying to me that we're not gonna hire any more of those ever again and we've reached our limit of just funny white guys we've hired exclusively those since that day yeah i was gonna say we probably added fat guys as part of that demographic fat guys like a whole other demographic that is so true it's a different race wants to go the rob mccl route, if I can just start putting down a gallon ice cream every morning, maybe we can talk. Seriously, if he just showed up fat, they would probably love him. For real. He just had a funny name.

Yeah. If you're fat and retarded, I'll sign you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one hurt because I remember being like, Chris has really blown up recently, and we were talking about getting him right before like the explosion and it would have been under barstool's umbrella and he didn't want to do it um and then i also think the internet like you know we just know internet funny and i think you see enough like

you know like i love danny lopriori the let me suck on your titties guy like when a video pops like that and you start to give it a look and then you follow their shit and you're like this is consistently fun and they're like freestyling this is like talent you know like so there's I think the internet and the stand up world would be like the two places we would

and do you think it came down to like are stand ups like really expensive and shit like that obviously not cause that's you know what I mean i think that there's uh i would i would like i think stand-ups make and sass obviously knows a lot more of this than i do i would think that stands make a lot more money than i guess once you reach a certain level i mean if you're just doing like spots in the city you're not making anything you're making like it's like what like it's like i think at the stand it's like 50 bucks it's insane for a show yeah i mean i'm not leaving the house for 50 dollars

yeah and it's like 100 for a weekend but that's like you're doing all right now right like yeah yeah there's people like there's yeah so then you go on the road and then there's like different door deals you can get with like percentages of tickets and it also depends on like how long you've been doing comedy how good do you have to be to make like 75 000 a year oh to have like a you know saying you got to be good as fuck dude you got to be a fucking you got to be nice right you got no you got you got to be like i think i like did the math about someone how much like how much someone like normand who does like six spots a night would make just in new york and i think it's like maybe like forty thousand dollars that's crazy i mean like but then norman then norman will go on the road for a weekend he'll make like

seventy five thousand right so that's where you know i like when you're in a weekend in a weekend you get like passed at a local club and you're not touring yet and you're like just maybe headlining at a local spot in the city yeah or you have consistent work at the comedy store or whatever the comedy seller you know is that like a living wage or are you like you're like you're fucking you can't really i don't think you can really make a living wage i don't want to like step out of line because i don't decide i feel like some people are gonna be like actually you can but i think realistically to make like a comfortable living wage i think you're like you can afford rent in an apartment you would have to be going on the road yeah okay that's like where like john mulaney started doing stand-up on the road because that's

how he made that's how you make money like you but like to get good enough to go on the road you have to do like the five shows a night in New York. I mean, it is insane what you guys do. I would never commit that much time and effort to anything. Okay, you have to go up three times a night, seven nights a week. You have to have so much belief in yourself. And you have to do that for a decade. And such a lofty goal. It's like a kid who wants to be president.

It's like a high fucking aspiration. I'm going to do a special. I'm going gonna do so much fucking work like it's so much work the first time i bomb i'm done i'm not subjecting myself to that again yeah you know silence like get the fuck out of here that's terrible it is it does sound bad but then also you start to realize you're like okay the worst thing that happened was like maybe like 50 people will leave the show and be like that one dude i don't even remember his name yeah right that's the worst thing that happened yeah i mean i still in the moment dude like oh my god i'll go if i'm having a bad set i'll feel my back and there's like gallons of sweat pouring bro every time i i hate this guy because he doesn't sweat

when we i just this our last like live shows of the year i finally got over it but up until then every live show we did and my hair would be like yeah yeah yeah and and then and then i also like once i start sweating i think about sweating and i you know what i mean yeah yeah and and we're fine the show was fine you know but I'm like in my head I said something and there was silence and I'm like oh my god it's such an immediate indictment of like who you are and your abilities it's like uh it's like people don't think I'm good like people think that I am not funny and I'm trying to be funny but I don't even care if it's like I don't it doesn't like silence obviously I don't want that

but it can be it can be raucous laughter. But if I just happen to be looking at one person who didn't laugh. Bro, we do. I'm like, well, we went to Philly. Me and Mook were talking about this. So Mook comes with me on the road. He hosts for my shows. And dude, you will be like killing a room.

Like everyone like bent over laughing. And then there'll be like one dude in the front row just being like. And you're like, you want to like get in his face and be like why are you not laughing you know what that is what did i say you understand the environment everyone else yeah we have that's like the internet come to life yeah you know you got a bunch of people bitten like you're awesome and the one guy who says you suck dick you're like everyone's your day and that's just happening in front of you like maybe i do suck we we we were in philly and we had we had like 700 people at the film or i think it was and i thought it was like our best show to date and they reserved

like two seats that they ended up not filling yeah and they were right in john's vision yeah no this was a grammar c theater which was sold out okay grammar c theater sold out and like we leave the we like we finish the show. We leave the stage. I'm like, oh, my God. He was like, fucking we bombed in front of an empty theater. And I was like, what? I was like, we just killed in front of a full one. What are you talking about?

Because he was just looking at two empty seats. It got so bad during the show that I was wearing a flat-brim cap or I was wearing a baseball cap. And I pulled it down so I couldn't see. Because all I did was focusing on those two scenes. Meanwhile, the whole time I was like, this is our best show ever. Why are you like that? I mean, you know. I ask myself in the mirror every morning.

Dude, I think that doing live podcasts is scarier than doing stand-up by a lot. I used to... Utmost respect to everything you guys do because of everything I described, like the work you put in the writing and crafting it. But then when I realized that we take the stage with no material, nothing, when we did

our, when we did a live, we did a live show in LA at laugh Boston with a KB and Nick and Roan. And, uh, I remember getting up there and we had like a couple things like, like one liner jokes to like start the show about Boston when we got up there and we had like a couple things like like one-liner jokes to like start the show about Boston yeah when we got up there and then I remember being like what next fuck yeah what the hell are we gonna talk about now yeah we we got a pretty good system now and like uh and you guys do like the voicemails and stuff right we have like we have a show you guys have a show yeah yeah and we also for the first time just like in the last in recent

months learned how to like like we in years past every single show was completely different because i was like we have conversations and you can't like rehab a conversation but then we kind of learned you can and we like not to say that we're like faking it but it's like we'll bring up the same talk topic of conversation and it'll start the same. But then I say something different and he has a different joke about it or we take a different angle. So it's like we kind of are redoing it. And then each show grows on the previous one where we're like, last night, this guy in the crowd said this. And so we figured out how to –

Yeah, I don't think I would do a live show unless it had some kind of built-in structure like that where it's like the beginning with whatever 20 minutes going to be this where we know we're going to touch on this we're going to have this yeah segment like and i don't mean to be like oh it's like stand-up but like it's like we had said things that were like oh that works that's funny yeah yeah yeah 100 i do that every weekend if i find something that like oh the buffalo crowd really like this i'm gonna do this at every single show yeah yeah and then it will like kill but we've also like we've done it for so we had like it's not even like conversations we're rehabbing it would be like basically like setting each other up for a story where we have like like a four minute monologue kind of deal yeah dude and then but then like

we've been doing those for like a year so it's probably time to find new ones right so when we go on because the first ones we found like it just happened and i was like oh that worked we weren't like let's come up with a repeatable thing yeah so now but now we kind of do need to come up like think about it it's like oh fuck that i don't know but i yeah that that thought of getting to this the point where you have an act has got to be hell but then once you have it and you know exactly where the laughs are and where the pauses are and that you know everyone likes it and you know people are going to buy tickets and you're like I can just do this for like a year straight and just make

that does sound sweet because I always ask them like why you guys go to like a fucking Omaha like you still really want to get on a plane and go there and and you know we're talking about some of the bigger guys they're like well I could just like sit at home or I could go make a surgeon's salary. A rack.

A surgeon's. That's what he said? Tom Segura, I can't imagine. I think Tom Segura is going to be the richest man in the world after his tour. He went to every single club and theater in the world. What a beast. That's so impressive.

Dude, apparently, because like burt is like super huge obviously and is making millions of dollars but apparently tom is like even like i say it all the time those guys i think are if not maybe above or tied they are like right below rogan and everybody talks about rogan as like this you know on his own level yeah but also rogan's i mean like they do like they'll do like a re like those guys will do like arenas and then mix in theaters rogan's like strictly arenas yeah yeah but i mean even with the podcast too like those guys are making money that is on a level that is i don't think people realize no they are financially they're on that level oh yeah yeah yeah yeah like they

are like when burt said uh whitney cummings asked him like if you had one last special to ever promote and you've got to make sure you promote it like the best or like where the three places you're going and the first spot he said was us i was like yeah i saw that was like the crowning achievement of my career yeah and i was like and I still don't even think people understand like what, like the level he's at to say that. That's fucking dope. It's like, he is, I think because he's very down to earth and it's very, you know. That type of show, yeah.

You don't realize it. Those guys are titans of the game right now. How much do you think they're walking away from doing one arena show? I mean, think of it. You know, basically they're doing like $50 tickets, right? Or $40 tickets. So is that like half a million? You have know basically they're doing like 50 tickets right or 40 like half a million you have like 15 thought to be at least half a million i was gonna say a million you know what's interesting i learned i learned uh from like this just this job in the industry i learned that to play the garden costs so much money and that's why you'll see a lot of acts go to Barclays now because just to just to uh have like

the concessions and the security and whatever else they provide it's like you have to like put up like a million dollars to go to the garden yeah and now you imagine if you're going to the garden you're probably selling out the garden and you make all that money but you got to be able to like you know and that's probably why people are doing multiple shows in a row and shit like that well that's the thing that like I got like the whole rundown about all that when i was when i started touring and it was like uh like they say that doing a weekend at a club is can be a lot of times more profitable than doing like one theater show i i would think that like yeah you can't do two theater shows in a night don't do yeah i i feel like if you would do like

five clubs five club spots in a weekend and i understand that's like five times the work of one night yeah but if you're gonna go somewhere for the weekend like do it do it a couple times and don't pay out the theaters yeah or also i know this i know this is about dane cook dane cook revolutionized the game because he was the first dude to rent out the space and he was like don't, I won't use your concession and security and all those people just give me the space for the night, which costs a fuck ton upfront, but then you're making like all profit.

Yeah. And so he kind of changed the game in that regard. So fuck you over anything. Yeah. Right. I mean, but even that, I think he was like,

I made that money back like in a year because he was killing so bad. But like, I, I'm, I think we're at a point at barstool and just the industry in general where it's like i know you want to play the wilbur and radio city and like these places that are iconic but why don't we just rent out a space yeah yeah and put chairs in and do it all ourselves and then it can be branded and it get like the fact that comics don't just

have a sponsor for their tours is fucking insane yeah especially because they all do podcasts and there's ads all over the podcast there's no preciousness about the art of it i think there still is for some reason with the touring but it's like the fact that it's not just like the the relapse tour by from burke kresher presented by at&t or some shit is fucking nuts yeah i think i wonder if it has anything to do with being like, okay, these people are already paying money to come see me. I don't want to throw,

but it's just like, it's just like on a fucking step. Yeah. That's what I mean. That's true. Yeah. If it, if it starts to like take over the show,

it sucks during the set. All right, guys, five seconds. But like, if you're wearing their clothes or you're just drinking their, their liquor, you know,

that'd be funny if you used to wipe your ass with a dude wipe on stage. Now you see, if you get it, it would be burnt. It would be burnt. Totally. Now my ass smells like mint chill. You get a cool breeze after a dude wipe. Ooh, baby.

You're feeling good. You are feeling good. But it seems like, even looking at sass like he's not trying to do a special for like five years or whatever dude that's the other thing i don't know why you guys all feel the need to do a special yeah they're i mean like just don't do them unless you are wait but i thought you're about to start putting on specials yeah you're right but i i i would all i would be like cautious about who we do it with there's very few people who are like ready for a special very few even if you have like a good hour it's like there's a good chance that hour is not all special worthy right you should do like a 25 minute thing of just your

best or don't even just put things out and don't call it a special just be like here's my youtube video with some of my comedy because when you call it a special all of a sudden you're getting compared to like chris rock on hbo yeah yeah yeah i know i'm not that fucking good but it's still but i see comics and the only thing that they'll put on like their social media their tiktok their instagram is the crowd work that they do and then it's like but they'll also go five years churning through but probably if they come up with an hour a year and they're honing and honing and honing to get to that special eventually but that's still like an hour every year that you will never put out to anywhere it's yeah i have talked about i talked about this with someone

recently i dude i think it's like all the algorithm it's like the algorithm is like crowd work like it like people will put people will put clips out from like old specials like right when the clipping thing got big and it won't be big at all. But then you'll be out of shitty crowd work. There's something to the vibe of like, you're catching something happening. But it's funny because it's like, it's not crowd work when you say to the guy, when you set up your premise with the guy in the audience.

When you say like, so, you know, do you work like manual labor? And then, you know, you have a joke about manual labor. That's not crowd work. Or you're calling out Sass right now. No, no, work no no no i agree with you because i posted one stand-up clip and everyone's like wow sass is trying to do crowd work now i'm like no it's not fucking crowd work it's just a joke that was the build like i was building up the joke and getting the audience engaged yeah i actually think it's fine to do it it's just it's funny when everybody acts like this is like this is crowd work like you

did that bit in every fucking city with a different guy you know i have a plant i've also i also feel like you don't even need a plant i think has anybody ever just like made up a audience number no i don't because i think you can get away with that about that and i think you could 100 create a fictional person no one would know and then especially when you know you got to repeat what they said to you yeah yeah you could just say that you could be like you know look at this fat motherfucker here and there's no fat motherfucker there but but you know and the people who sit in the front might be like it might be hard to do a couple of black ladies tonight yeah if you did it in like a theater no one would ever ever know i or arena or yeah anything big like that there was we had a moment on the road um i i was like we always kind of um pull the crowd

you know we got young people old people we have diehard barstool fans we have new fans we have any couples we always have a lot of couples it's a big date night thing for us and for the first time i was like because i wanted to do a bit about being divorced i was like do we have any divorced people in the crowd and it was it was pure true crowd work there's one guy who it was sitting front row and he was like me and he you could tell he was bent out of shape about it they were were like, I was coming from a place of like, fuck it. You know, like B it's good. You're free. Yeah.

And, uh, and then he was very like timid. And, and then you said something like, like at the end of the show, I, I would have, if I was in the audience, I would have bet it was a planted callback scripted thing where you said something about like being desperate for a girl. And you were like, yeah, this guy knows. Right.

And it just fucking murdered. And it was like, I was like, I don't remember which one it was. Cause I I'm terrible when I'm doing the show. I don't even look at the crowd. I'm like nervous. And I'm looking at the lights and you're always,

I feel like very good at like you, you do notice the crowd. And this is cause I saw a hot girl one time. I was looking for cheetah pants now but you brought it back to that guy and i was like uh what a fucking moment it like it was it just like the puzzle pieces just fit perfectly together and i was like that was some real crowd work shit where it all but i i think there's little tricks of the trade that people are like using now and it's more power to you but it's like it's not you know i i also think some of these guys write so much like sam murrell is so he he's like i cannot do stale material so then put it on the fucking internet that's what i mean and i think he actually does though his tiktok goes

crazy right so he's actually one who's doing it but like when we we got to um our last show uh in phoenix they as we walked in they were getting the bags ready for the phones yeah and we were like no no no i was like we tell everybody post pictures post videos like yeah yeah we want our shit out there you know oh really they offer you guys the bags that was great you guys are big no no that happened that happened one time only they're like you guys don't want the bags yeah yeah now we've never gotten that i'll only say the n word a few times i get it out fast and they can't get it yeah they were because you'll pull it out of nowhere they won't be ready for it yeah i was thinking about that the other day like if i if i just like showed up to the stand one night and I was like, where are the bags?

I'm not going up unless there's bags. Get the fuck out of here right now. I you know, they say that like people are more present and the experience is better. I'm like, I want that shit. I want the promotion from all these. I want all 500 people here to post my shit on the internet. No one's to their audience. No one's on there.

Like it's very rare. People are like on their phone. Yeah, totally. And you're like, are they're taking a picture right no and also no one's like unless you're dave chapelle no one's like all right let's film this and send it to the new york post right and like there's like maybe one or two segments to show that we do where i'm like i really hope this doesn't make it to the internet yeah otherwise i'm like post this yeah there are a few everyone be cool about that one. Let's leave that one. That stays within these walls

right here. And they know. Your listeners are not trying to cancel you guys. No, I really don't think they are. Especially the people that come are like the diehards of the diehards. And no one who doesn't know us is coming to a show. It's like, if you look at... Remember we show up to venues sometimes and it's like

our fucking stupid picture where it's like this cartoon of two guys with their legs up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. KFC radio tonight. I'm like, no one is walking by that. I gotta see what that's about. Yeah, we're not getting a walk-up, guys. We're not getting a walk-up crowd the day of. I will say the best feeling doing stand-up is when you get the walk-up crowd.

It's usually like the Saturday early show. All the old people come out and they're there just to see a comedy show and if you do well in front of them it's like the greatest feeling ever because like these people don't know who i am they don't care about me it's true actually laughing yeah yeah yeah there there is a feeling of like i i kind of got over the sweating and stuff not because i think that the show is all that great but i was like they're gonna like this like literally no matter what yeah, yeah. People can't have a good time. I think half of it is the meet and greet. We always make sure to take pictures

and meet people, and I think they love that part of it, too. That was a battle rap trick. I would go and talk to everybody in the crowd. So by the time it was for me to go up, they had a personal connection with me. I have a bad set. I'm out there talking to every single person. Being like, dude, I'm so thankful for you guys to come.

I hope you guys had a good time. We're going to do shots. We're going to do shots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get fucked all over the floor together. And if you kill Saturday. It just spits on them. I was funny tonight.

Get out of here, plebeians. No, it is. If I do well, I'm like, all right, I did. You can see why. I paid my service. Louis C.K. is like jerking off. Oh, my God. I mean, you are a god in that moment, especially when you get to the big arenas and shit.

Like, you have like 20,000 or Kevin Hart has like 60,000 people howling at him. And you're just standing there. You're like literally a god on earth. We did that with we went to the last year, I guess, the 9-11 party. Yeah. I guess at MSG. i went i went to that and when chapelle came out and he just stood there like like fucking that jesus statue in brazil yeah he just stood there like this like it was it was actually like it was honestly

for being straight up it was over it was too much it was too much it was like dude you're not a god elon musk is the fact that he went up with Chappelle and he still got with Jesus on stage. It's gotta be hard to not become like a full on narcissist. You're not like people are treating you. You have everybody telling you you're the greatest. Who's the, the Roman emperor who had that guy who he hired to walk behind him,

walk behind him, just keep whispering. You're just a man. You're just a man. You're just a man. Like Chappelle needs that. Now when he goes on stage, that was you're just a trans man dude that was like that was like watching 20 of the greatest comedians in the world

and then dave chapelle went out and it was like like the biggest eruption i've ever seen i don't i don't think he was the best of the night, though. Not even remotely close. I wouldn't even put him in the top ten. He was so fucked up. Jon Stewart had to drag him off the stage. He was hammered. Also, I thought that was unfair of Jon Stewart because the joke he made

wasn't that bad. It was a 9-11 joke. It was something about Bin Laden. I honestly forget what it was. I can't even butcher it because I forget what it was. Jon with some of bin laden and i i honestly forget what it was i can't even butcher i forget what it was but like john stewart came he was like all right all right dave that's enough for the night but i thought i thought sagura was one of the best tonight sam jay sam laney was awesome lady was fucking unreal i thought dude i thought michael che and colin joseph very very fun colin joseph we saw about 69 in his wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You forget how many

people are stand-ups. I think of that guy as like Weekend Update, but it's like, no, he's a fucking comic. They were two of my favorite of the night. I was blown away by how good they were. When Colin Jost was talking about 69 and his wife, stand-up 69 and his wife, and I was like, I hit Kevin, I was like,

wait, is he maybe Scarjo? That's all I was thinking. 69, he's got his nose in Scarjo's ass. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. He's handsome, he's smart. It's like, fuck you, dude. Dude, the funniest part of Chappelle's, the only one that I like really

laughed out loud was when the guy was filming. Yeah, he crossed. And he just goes, he's Asian too. Yeah. And it's like, holy shit yo when sagura sagura was on stage talking about jerking off his son yeah yeah yeah that was like his closer he's telling his son he's gotta jerk off yeah yeah yeah yeah he's like dad why is yours so much bigger than mine he's like, because I'm hard. So fucking funny. I love Siguro, too, because his bits are like 15 minutes long. It's all stories. It builds up in the payoffs there.

It's fucking incredible. It's amazing. Hang on, though. Whoa, we're not ready to leave yet. We're getting out of here, bro. I just always have to say, the way we're talking about all these guys is how I think about you with your rap battles. You have those experiences,

whether or not you view them that way. As hard as any comic has ever killed a comedy club or theater, I think that pales in comparison to a a rap battle oh 100 assassination to get like to have the crowd going like oh yes like like every punch line of you're basically doing comedy you know some ways yeah and then but every punch line gets a reaction like a fucking slam dunk contest like everything is the crowd like physically jumping around and you only say it one time too which is crazy so there's this like unexpectedness to it it's like even more living in the moment yeah it's like trying to

capture that i can't imagine are you ever nervous ever what do you mean when i'm doing those no no no just yeah i feel like the calm down from that is be like there's nothing in the world that would once i could do that once i could once i can win multiple tournaments at that i would be like i'm not afraid of anything ever again definitely not like any type of public speaking you're like i'll just go up and like even if it sucks like i don't i just don't give a fuck yeah when he did the upfronts he was like this is the he's like this is the least nervous i've ever been in my life like if i had to do the upfronts i would have been like i would have been like nervous about it and been like fuck like how's this gonna go but if i was you i'd be like and even if i did bomb i'd be like

but i know if i put the effort in i could make the greatest fucking shit like ever because i've done it before in rap battles so exactly it's not like i not that i didn't care about the sponsors in the audience but you didn't and that's that all of the 19 year old finance dudes yeah that they send to go to the up front thing with like all barstool events dude we had it with whistle pig um we were promoting like the fucking we had like a ready to drink can we first did with them uh before we did a whiskey and and it didn't even bond it wasn't anything to do with us it was like they hadn't like factored in like the price of canning or like i forget distribution they just they couldn't sell it in like 35 states in america

but we went to they were like all right this is gonna be a big thing like we've done this with pink whitney this is like how you get people to buy you go to talk to distributors and all the shit and you kind of just like basically suck all their dicks of course and so we're at this like fucking event in boston oh yeah i forgot and uh like like all right we gotta fucking gear up like wait wait this is how we're gonna get rich dude like we're gonna fucking sell tons of ready to drinks and we go we'll go fucking just smooth everybody right now and then we get there and fucking no one was in a position of power it's like oh like dude just a big fan the minute that someone's like yo i've been reading you since 2009 i'm like get out of here bro

where's your boss no i am the boss that's what we need though i do think uh what is cool is like sometimes you forget or at least i forget that i'm comparing myself to some guys who are like 50, 55 years old, who have like 20 years of experience and all that shit on you. And I think we'll also get to a point where stoolies who started reading when they were like 25 will be like 45, 50 years old. And then they become hopefully like the CEOs or the people. The decision makers. The decision makers. And then they're like, yes, for Barstool. Like, we're not going to worry about the risk.

I know I do trust these guys. And hopefully, like all of our best days are ahead of us because of shit like that. All you have to do is literally just keep doing it. Right. Just the longevity. Just don't stop doing it. Like, that's really all it comes down to is just don't stop doing it. That's the only way to lose doing any of this shit.

It really is true, man. It's just like stopping or like getting in your own head or like spooking yourself is just don't stop doing it. That's the only way to lose doing any of this shit. It really is true, man. It's just like stopping or like getting in your own head or like spooking yourself out. Just like keep doing it. Put one foot in front of the other. Like you will wind up with that shit. There was like the beginning. I think I was like, especially writing, I was like, I'm really good at this and I really love doing this. And there was enough praise and I was like, yes, fuck yeah.

And then there was like a lull where it was like, this is hard. Life gets hard. personal shit gets hard and then like you come out of it where you're like well if i can keep doing it through that i can just keep doing it forever and if i keep doing it forever i saw the other day buzzfeed is down like to like pennies yeah they're down like fired like 90 of their staff they're down like 98 over the year like they're down to like zero. And Vice too. Vice has Vice is like broke and so is BuzzFeed.

Those were our competitors and it's just like there's none left. At a certain point though, you guys had to have known Buzz. You guys were going to outlast BuzzFeed. I don't know. Early on. I don't think I would like right now early on to hear that early on i don't think i would have gotten i mean they were fucking mad they were valued at 750 million in like 2011 and they had

like an office in la that was like a studio it was like the paramount lot like the buzzfeed lot i remember hating them times where dave was like we have to be more like buzzfeed we started doing listicles yeah yeah and there still is like tricks of the internet that you have to do that shit, but like it very much turned out. We call those podcast segments now. Yeah, basically. Let's do a draft. Let's do a draft, but it goes backwards.

We're going to draft four things. We're going to draft five things. And we did it. We did it for a while. Once BuzzFeed made that video of like the dude trying fruit for the first time, I was like, yeah, this is not going to last. I mean, there's only so many. How many Disney princesses are you?

Yeah. Like when we did that, we had what? Barcelona. Yeah, we did it all. We did all of the scummy shit you could. But then you also just like keep, you know, we lasted. You keep on trying it. Cockroaches, man.

We'll be here when the fucking nuclear bombs go off. Dude, well, on that battle rap shit, dude dude i think i want to do another one bro and i haven't even really talked about it but i'm trying to battle this dude in february and this is pretty much me like calling him out this dude dumbfounded dude let's go hell yeah dumbfounded dude he's very successful uh he's like in movies and shit like that he's good friends with anderson pock like he's he's this Los Angeles rapper and there's an event that's a tribute to my buddy Pat Stay who passed away

and all the proceeds are going to go to his family and shit like that. So it would be a very good cause for us to do this. Do we do the battle for free?

Just go up, like, have fun with it, crack some jokes on each other, you know what I mean? Don't found it. Make it happen. That would be fucking awesome.

There is nothing. I have not seen anything that is as cool as that. I would 100% go to that. You would? Is it in Toronto? would be fucking awesome. I have not seen anything that is as cool as that. I would 100% go to that. You would? Is it in Toronto? Yeah, in Toronto. That's where like

King of the Dot is, right? Yeah, yeah. So it'd be the first event back since COVID and shit like that because Canada's lockdowns have been crazy. So for a good ass cause,

dude, I fucking, you know. Dumbfoundead, if you don't do it, you're a bad guy. Yeah, I mean, I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you. You're really handcuffed the guy here. He could be really busy. He's a bad guy. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. You're really handcuffed the guy here.

He could be really busy. He's like, fuck, I got to do this. If I were you, I know, I think when you first started, you talked about like you wanted to do more. I would be the battle rapper and I would do nothing. I would be insufferable. You wouldn't even be able to have conversations with me. Be like, hey, what's up, man?

Didn't you and Nate rap battle? Oh my God. That was the worst. That was your fault. I loved it, bro. Yeah, you loved it. Nobody else in the world did. Because when it originally started, it was I wanted to make another song because I had so much fun making the Tico and Dave song.

So I was preparing to make a song. And then Nate was like, Nate was like, I'll just do it live. And I was kind of like, ah, the thing I was doing was going to be a song. And you were like, well, you just got to do it live now. And I was like, fuck! And the last thing I wanted to be doing was live, like reading off a paper

yelling at Nate. I think I might have literally run out of the office. It was bad. It was tough. You were both so mean. It was bad. It was tough. Some of that shit. It was, it was, but you were both so mean. Oh,

you know, it was so mean. You know what sucked though? I pulled a lot of punches. I was not as mean. Yeah. He was meaner than you. And I,

we talked about it. We talked about it first. And I was like, we can do this, but like, you know, there are certain things people can't come back from. And it was kind of like, we're not going to do that. And then he and then he did it so my advice to anybody is if you're ever going to be

in a battle of rap be as mean as you possibly can and also if you're ever going to get divorced be as mean as you can he used it as a chance to say the meanest shit and he was like it's fine because it rhymes like it made it way easier to like just say the mean shit without any nuanced joke yeah entendre or anything oh i mean there was a lot of things that i was like if we really easier to like just say the mean shit without any nuanced jokes yeah entendre or anything oh i mean there was a lot of things that i was like if we really want to like break this down that's not true and that's not real and that was made up or whatever but yeah there's that's not how the game works so just be as mean as you fucking can because there was a lot of things i like said i had fun with it literally the only person on the planet fans hated it we hated it

ron was like that was great. I respect the art form, dude. I respect the art form. You guys at least stepped into the arena. That is true. And you did it. It takes balls to embarrass yourself as badly as we did. No one else who's talking shit would fucking do anything like that.

And maybe they're smart for that. Yeah, honestly. That was a good decision by them. For real. For real. Fuck yeah, dude. Well, now we can end it. But I really appreciate you guys coming on.

Thank you guys. on thank you guys it's great to hear about the fucking New York shit the fucking I mean I hope you guys are pumped for it I think you guys

will be a big part of it yeah it's gonna be fun we can make a lot of shit happen here fuck yeah appreciate you guys thanks boys