Son of a Boy Dad - Giulio Gallarotti | Son of a Boy Dad #227

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Giulio Gallarotti | Son of a Boy Dad #227 -- Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Yeah, all that's getting cut. Are we good to go, Todd? Yes. We're recording. Yeah. OK. Do I have to do that? No. All righty.

Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today is a day. We are here joined by Julio. Yes. Julio Golarati. Long awaited guest. Good to see you guys. Thanks for having me.

This is an honor to be here. Happy to have you here. Thank you for joining us. Last time we had a former Barstool employee comedian on, he got rehired like right away. And it was the biggest episode we ever had. Was it him? Yeah.

Yeah. It just brought him back. Like, oh yeah, we should just bring him back right away. It was a huge episode. It was crazy. That was crazy. Got like 300,000 views on YouTube or something. Look at that.

And then the chains episode slowly started creeping ahead. Yeah. It's like when you have those infographics of like the biggest fast food chain. Yeah, it's like it's like, it's like, it's like before McDonald's. No one's ever going to pass McDonald's. It's like A&W root beer is passing. Dude, the slow burn chain episode is the thing. Yeah, we had that too.

Yeah, like out of nowhere, like our podcast is on like other shit. Yeah. I'm like, how are we not benefiting from the 78 million? Yeah, dude. I've gone but I've like I've like clicked on those like joke world like Like Shane Gillis funniest moments and I've like watched it and then all of a sudden I'm in it It's like me when I'm like 18 It's like me when I'm like 18. Dude, Julia, your voice has a sexy rasp to it right now. What is, what are you smoking? This is my voice, dude. No, it's gotten, it's gotten sexier.

You think so? I think there's something to it, dude. There's something, there's a smoldering sex to your voice. Are you still using those, uh, those ripples? Not really. I should, but dude, like vapes, like hurt my gums. Oh, really? This is how you know you're fucking an old dude. Like, yeah, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my gums, my g, like vapes like hurt my gums. Oh, really? So, you know, you're fucking it all, dude. Like, yeah, my gums.

Like if I have a big night, the one thing I always regret is vaping. Really? Because my gums hurt. That's very bad. I wonder if you're allergic to something. Dude, I got botched cavities. I went to like the student cavity place. Yeah. This is what happened. I have a wedge. They put a wedge in my tooth because like they fucked my cavity up. This place doesn't have a phone.

You have to go in person to make an appointment. Yeah, yeah. Okay, this is not good. Wait, what is the student cavity place? Is it like dental students? It's up town. It's like a teaching hospital. It's up town.

Is it like NYU students? It's like fellows or whatever. Whatever you're called when you're like not quite a dentist yet. Yeah, a Prenti. Prenti. It's probably not even NYU.

It's probably like Baruch College or some bullshit, like a business school. Unclear. But all I know is they fuck my shit up pretty bad. And I was always on some shit where I'm like, I want the new person. They've learned all the sort of cutting edge stuff. Yeah, yeah.

They know all the new tricks. But alas, you know, nothing makes up for experience. Anyway. I mean, your teeth are fine. My teeth are fine, but I have like. Holes in your gums? No, they're fine.

But bro, it's completely fine. But if I vape, I feel like, fuck, I shouldn't be vaping anyway. If it gets cold out, if it's about to rain in half an hour, you start to feel the hole in your gums. The vape is the only thing that does it. Damn. Thankfully. Are you sure it's about to rain in half an hour, you start to feel the hole in your gums. The vape is the only thing that does it. Damn. Thankfully.

Are you sure it's not like something worse than that? I've gone to the dentist a bunch since. Yeah. Have you gone to a real dentist since? Yes. Well, dude, not to keep carrying out about dental problems, I broke one of my molars in half on a fucking popcorn kernel, dude.

What? Yeah. That's painful. Yes, and my dentist couldn't see me for a while. So I was like, fuck it. I'm going to the real dentist. Dude, if you guys out there are going to shit dentists, this is the one thing you should be paying more for.

Yeah. Because if you go to like a shit primary care doctor, they're not doing anything new anyway. You're getting referred to go to do other things. The dentist is in you. Dude. Yeah. The dentist is in you.

They're doing the work. Yeah. And dentist is in you. Dude. Yeah. The dentist is in you. They're doing the work. And that shit is forever. Yes, exactly. Like most other stuff, you can get a new thing or something will heal. If your teeth are fucked, you're fucked. You're gonna die.

It really is. Because like heart disease is like, it really has like a massive effect on literally everything. Yeah. The fact that heart disease, you know that? The teeth are like a big. Yeah, they told me that because it, You floss if you. You don't gums again if you don't floss could heighten your cholesterol Yeah, cuz you're just swallowing the fucking plaque. Yeah, I guess I'm like that swallowing garbage. Yeah, that's fucking disgusting

It's kind of weird though. It's like well, wasn't that already gonna be in my body. Anyway, it just missed Like it just got caught in my teeth. It just got caught in the net. So the fish that get caught in the net, but those are the fish that'll kill you. When you floss and you pull a piece of food out of your teeth, is it okay to eat that? Oh my God. Yeah, I think. But that's what he's talking about.

Yeah. It sounds like it's not. No, I don't think it's that. I think it's because it's getting absorbed into your gums, which goes straight into your bloodstream. These are chunks of salad, corn, mango. Well, what else are you going to do with it? Throw it away.

But how? You're going to pluck it off of the floss or you're going to use the whole floss? Because if you have a chunk of food on your floss and you put the floss back into your mouth, isn't the floss going to be dirty with the, uh? The food and the blood. It also smells, dude. Floss is stinky. You could do a big, big yard or two of floss and work your way up the string,

making it fresh with each tooth. Is that how much you're typically doing a yard? I do a lot because I like to wrap my fingers until the tips are purple. Yeah. If you're not doing the sticks, you're living in the fucking stone age. You need to have the frost sticks. One time I went to do... I have a to do, I think I've told you this. I went to do comics, Mohican Son, with a good comic friend of mine.

And he was driving, I'm not gonna say his name, but he was like, you wanna floss, by the way? He had the flossers, the sticks. I remember this. And I was like, oh yeah, awesome. And we flossed and then he opened his window and just threw his flosser out the window. And I was like, I don't think I can do this weekend with you anymore.

Francis is the funniest feedback about road openers. Oh yeah. One time he's like, dude, he goes, he opened for me. We went to get food at whole foods and he stole he stole. And then he made fun of me for paying for it. Dude, one of my favorite- He's like, you know that's going straight into Jeff Bezos' pocket, right? And I was like, I don't think it,

it probably gets diluted all the way. It trickles down to the banana. This was the best one. I don't think I've ever told this story on the podcast. We were, when we did Denver, they have the comedy condo and I didn't stay there because I stayed at my friend Bo's house because my other friend came down and we all stayed together.

So Francis and Mook stayed at the comedy condo together. And I guess the first night Mook went into Francis's room and asked if he could borrow toothpaste. And the next day when Mook's on stage, Francis tells me this already goes, dude, this isn't a frat house. Borrowing my toothpaste in a time of COVID? What are you doing, man? I can see that being annoying, but also I think I've literally gone to Mooc's hotel room to borrow toothpaste.

With your toothbrush out? Yeah. I had to squeeze it onto his toothbrush. And then I went back in and used the clean knife to cut the edge to make sure that there was no touching of bristle to. You should put it in like a napkin for him and twist it up. Yeah.

Let me add to that. I found out that, or maybe I knew that he had gone to 7-Eleven after the show late at night. Or he went to Burger King. He went to Burger King. And so I knew that the mouth he was cleaning was filled with Burger King. Whopper mouth? And I was like, yeah, that's, I have Sensodyne was filled with Burger King. Whopper mouth? And a Whopper mouth? Zach Brian?

And I was like, yeah, that's, I have Sensodyne toothpaste. Like this is nice stuff. I'm not. It's not like you barred your toothbrush. It doesn't react well to Burger King mouth. Why didn't you pick up some crest while you were at 7-Eleven, you freak?

Dude, there's also an open, kind of an open floor plan in that condo, if I remember. Like the wall doesn't connect to the ceiling. So you're basically like in the same room with MOOC. Oh, which definitely made it worse. Yeah. Yeah. Just muttering to yourself and he hears you through the wall. Just hear him smacking on his fucking whopper.

Two in the morning. That's definitely because MOOC gets MOOC gets fucked up on the road. Yeah, I've have taken him. He always gets fast food. Because you got a 17 hour bus ride. I took him to get oysters like a fucking gentleman, and it hurt my feelings that he went to fill Burger King into the trough after that.

Oh my god. Burger King is great, though. I bet Burger King hit way harder than those oysters did. Dude, really quick on the littering thing this morning. I don't know what it is. Somehow it bothers me. I don't know if it bothers me more when people litter in New York City

or just like out in the beautiful wilderness. It's gotta be the wilderness. Yeah. But it also bothers me a lot in New York City because it's like, look, the place is already fucking a dump enough, you know? And I walk, I was walking behind a woman on the, on the sidewalk and she had a nice Starbucks coffee or whatever. Actually it was from blank street, blank street. And the girl, the woman, so it's a nice coffee place. Not a littering type of demo. She unwrapped her straw

and then took the straw paper wrapper and just dropped it on the ground. It is. Yeah. And I picked it up behind her and walked past her and I was going to make a decision about whether I said, passive aggressively, you dropped this. I think that's within your rights, honestly. And it was like just a normal, professional Asian woman. Just a normal professional Asian woman. Just a normal professional cunt.

And I was like, what the fuck is the matter with you? I wanted to say I didn't say anything. I chickened out. I've done that before, picking up after somebody and I don't say a thing. I don't even let them see that I'm picking it up. And I feel like it's ultimate karma points that I'm cashing in right now. It feels good. Yeah, but they're just going to keep doing it. It's not about them doing it. It's about the streets being clean for me. It is kind of hilarious.

Like it's fucked up, but it is like I've never, I don't litter, but it is hilarious to just like, like if I finished this coffee and I just walk down the streets, throw it into the street, keeps walking. It's insane. I think this should be, this should be what it is though. If you're going to be a person who litters, then you can't complain about homeless people in the streets. Oh yeah. You're worse than them. Yeah.

You're contributing. Say what you want about the homeless. They're tidy. Yeah, they keep a small bag. They keep a small bag. Everything. They have a small footprint on the world. Yeah.

And they're collectible trash. You can't say like, New York is going to shit if you're a person who's dropping trash on the sidewalk. I believe that. That's a complete hypocrisy. I like that. I've had friends who have like cars full of bottles and like bags of food and stuff like that. And they're just like, just go somewhere and just rake it out. Oh yeah. Just throw it into the street.

Just throw it into the street. It's reprehensible. I will say something feels a lot less bad about throwing it onto concrete than to the grass. Throwing it onto concrete, you're like, someone's gonna pick this up. Yeah, but on the grass, prisoners will pick it up on the weekend and that's their fresh air.

So that- You ever see that? Yeah. Like on the highway? Yeah. Oh, in Massachusetts, they have that everywhere. Yeah, it's good. It's not even just, sometimes it's just like DUI people

who have like 100 hours of community service to get. And the more that you throw out, the longer they can work. Yeah, but most of them. So then they get more fresh air and you're actually doing them a favor? They're cutting it. No, they're, no.

Well, if it's DUI people, they're just trying to get through the shit. And they'll say that you're doing eight hours of community service this day and you actually do like an hour and a half or some shit. It's probably mostly community service people because I doubt they send violent criminals out to the street with that like massive orange That's meant to like pierce through a can

They do they've got the claw I thought they use the thing that just They use the claw. Oh, they do? They've got the claw. I thought they used the thing that just jab in. The stabber. Oh, like a spear fishing tool? Well, there's an armed person monitor. True.

I believe. Yeah. Wonder if they check their person afterwards. Little cavity search. Yeah. Hold up the balls. What did the person steal from Whole Foods? An orange or something, right?

No, I don't. Oh, the hot plate, hot food. Is that what it was? That's what you told me. Then that must be what it was. Yeah. It's pretty, pretty big haul. Yeah, but it honestly is a big haul.

It's a fucking box of food. And if you know you're not gonna pay for it so you don't have to worry about how much it weighs, you can load that bitch up. Oh yeah. It's like bursting. It's like curved on the sides. 27.99 mashed potatoes.

I've told you guys, I've told you guys a story about when Bo stole from, he tried to steal from the grocery store when I was with him in Denver. It was actually the same weekend as a- Big weekend. Yeah, as the MOOC thing. Dude, he went in, he went in,

it was one of those things where he was like, I do this all the time. And then slowly you start to realize like, now you've never done this ever. This is your first time doing this. You're trying to like impress me. And he was like, I gotta get tuna. He gets like 15 cans of tuna.

And then he gets, and then he gets, he's like, I need to get a mason jar to make something. And they go over, we go over to the jar aisle and they only have like packs of 12 mason jars. So he rips open the pack of mason jars and puts it in, puts one in the bag. It's like, well, I only need one. And then we go to pay, he scans one thing of tuna, puts 15 cans into the bag. Immediately the sensors are like, yeah, you didn't pay for any of those. You only got one can of tuna scanned. And then like the person comes

over and he's like, you have 10 cans of tuna in your scanned. And then like the person comes over and he's like, you have 10 cans of tuna in your bag. And then he's like, and what's this single Mason jar? And he's like, there's no barcode or anything on this Mason jar. And the guy's like, I can go back and look to see where you got it from and we can charge you. And then he goes back and he's like, so you ripped open the pack of mason jars. It was, dude, it was a total disaster. Didn't work out at all. This sounds bad. It was bad. Yeah. Why didn't you run? You should have just sprinted off. Cause he just played dumb. And then we ended up having to pay for everything. He should have said he brought the mason jar cause he was intending to make tuna

salad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's actually a better idea. I brought that mason jar from home. I've heard that, uh, if you want to get a bunch of tuna cans or a bunch of weight, you just charge everything as like a bag of apples or something like that. Yeah. Interesting. Or like a bag of peppers or something. It used to be easy to do that shit,

but now it's all high tech. Now they weigh. It's all based on the weight of when you put it in the bag. That's what I mean. So if it's like weight of apples, you could just be like, is this many apples? Yeah, that would work. There was a kid named Chris Harding in our high school.

Of course. He was a bad kid. And he... What'd he do? He would go to the Hannaford grocery store, and he would get one of the full big shopping carts. And then he would line the outside of it with, you know, whatever, just bags of potato chips.

And then he would fill the entire interior with handles of booze, rum and vodka, all that. And then he would put potato chips over the top and then he would just wheel the whole thing out and not pay for any of it. Nasty boy. Seems like at that point, he probably doesn't really need to hide the booze.

He's just going to steal everything. Somehow it was less overt. Oh, he's just stealing chips. I think he had a Hannaford shirt. So he would pretend that he was a worker. That's pretty ballsy. He Ocean's 11'd it. And they were like, oh, look.

That guy's just getting rid of the bad chips or something. Yeah. That's pretty ballsy. Meanwhile, he had like $3,000 of booze hidden inside. Getting caught doing that would be so embarrassing. I know. What's up with the shirt? Yeah.

Any arch criminal from my high school got away with it also. Yeah. Like, this one kid worked at the outlet store. They called this guy the shark. I swear to God. Having an arch criminal is hilarious. Yeah. This guy would do, this was the whole gag. So you go in the store, you get whatever you want and then you go to check out, he rings you up for everything. Then deletes it all except for the

cheapest item. And he also has a bag of his shit under the, under the counter, which he then puts on the counter. It had his car keys in the bottom. You go put his shit in his car and then I've, I guess leave the keys in the car and then I guess leave the keys in the car and then you take all the shit and he never got caught. He got caught hooking up a girl with a belt and got fired for that. Really? And must've taken them for like 30k. What kind of store is this? It was a, it was a, I don't know. Like a gently used type of store? No, no, this is a brand new, but an outlet store. The I won't even say the store. I gave the kids names. I like this guy.

I like the shark and now he's like an upstanding citizen. 30 grand worth of shit. I guess the more at the outlet, nobody's because where does it even go after the outlet? You know what I mean? If it doesn't sell at the outlet, what's what's becoming of all and there's no inventory. There's probably not a number of shit. That's the outlet. You know what I mean? If it doesn't sell at the outlet, what's, what's becoming of all, and there's no inventory. There's probably not a number of shit. That's the thing. That's

gotta be an incredible way to steal. Less organized than you would think, right? All I had was a subway guy that would give me free subway sandwiches. He just load up a couple of subway sandwiches. That's pretty nice. It was nice. But it was like two at a time though. It was maximum you could get. I guess you need more than two foot long. I didn't need more. That was all I needed. Yeah. Just extra meatballs, he'd get you right, dude. Yeah. It was beautiful.

I don't have a guy for anything. I don't have anyone that hooks me up with anything. You have a tuna guy, apparently. That's not even true. Yes, it is. You just don't work hard enough to actually, like, accept the generosity people throw your way. Who's throwing shit my way?

There was a guy that DM'd us the other day about come to Cincinnati, I've got this- Well that's different. Vintage sports store. I meant like a local person who just like will hook me up with something. Sometimes the dude that I buy Juul pods from, I expect, because he always comes in,

I walk in, he's got them on the table ready. So sometimes I think he's gonna be like, this one's on us, never. Like they're actually getting more expensive. Mm-hmm What would you want? Fly equipment You talk about fishing enough that if you actually put out a call right now, no, no, I don't mean I don't like someone I don't mean like someone hooking me up

I mean like someone you walk into like a subway and I go this one's on the house There's happened to me this weekend one's for the price of on the house. There's a hot dog stand There's a hot dog stand guy in my neighborhood. I've never even said a word to him, but I just salute him every time I see him. He doesn't speak a lick of English. And he chased me down, walked with my wife, and was like, he had a bottle of water,

and fucking shoved it into my face. This is where you start, the neighborhood. He generates goodwill. He creates these community bonds, which you don't, because you keep your head down and get back into your house as quickly as possible. Who was the last person you saluted? Well, I don't salute anybody. Exactly.

It's disrespectful. Exactly. But I, like I go to the same coffee place every morning. I don't even think they know my name. Well, there would be no reason for them to know my name. Whose fault is that? But they're very like, it's like a, it's like one of those hipster coffee places, but very corporate.

You could make an effort. I go in, I say ice ice coffee, half and half, croissant. And they go, done. And then they just give it to me. And then they go, next. There's no- But those places are- Do you recognize the people? You're an comedian. It's a different person. You could tell some jokes.

What am I going to go? Why do they call it half and half, not full? Yeah. Well, there's a line behind me. Remember when I made that half and half joke? Yeah, we heard that. You there's a line of people behind me. Remember when I made that half and half joke? Yeah, we heard that. You do that shit and then people get mad. No.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I get it wrong a lot of the time. No, but sometimes they fucking love it though. Sometimes they love it. They do sometimes love it. I went to the wine store.

I went to the wine store and the guy was at my dog with me. The guy was like, you want a treat? And I was like, yeah, anything for the dog? And they fucking lost their shit. It was two guys in the store, like, scream laughing. I was almost embarrassed to say it because it's so corny. And they're like, we've never heard that before. Looking at each other, they couldn't

believe how good it was. And that's the good will I generated. Like they chuckled as I left. It wasn't that good. That's a pretty good one. It helps the world. It really helps the world. And these are good things.

Yeah, they're good things. I had a moment in my elevator the other day. A girl got in and she had a little dog. And then I got in and the doors closed and I turned to her and I said, because I didn't know the doorman's name. I'm new to this building. I was like, what's the, what's that doorman's name? She goes, I don't even know either. And then we both laughed at that. And then her dog smelled my hand and I patted him and then she got off.

Shared human experience. This is good. Is that worth, that was, that doesn't seem like that. Just makes you think you're in a friendly building. I'm not trying to get anything from her. I mean, when I run through that yesterday, I was coming home from the stand, that someone was holding the door for me, I realized I dropped my jewel outside.

I said, I'm all good. And then I went back outside. That's the exact same experience. It's crazy. This is the opposite of what they're describing. All of your stories, one, have jewel involved in them. For whatever reason. Maybe you need to fucking take the jewels out. All of your stories, one, has Jewel involved in them, for whatever reason. Maybe you need to fucking take the Jewels out.

That's preventing you from having these community connections you need. Facts. Dude, our community connection was you asked the person if they knew the doorman's name and they said no. Yeah, but then we joked about it. She was like, I think I call, I just, she's like, I say it quickly and under my breath,

and I don't actually know, and I'm embarrassed, because I've been here a long time. And then she was like, how long have you been here? And I was like, I'm pretty new, so I have an excuse. and then she was like how long have you been here and I was like I'm pretty new so I have an excuse and then I was like yeah you wish poor boy 15,000 we don't even need the dog and the dog's name and we did that whole thing Yeah, just makes you think like this is a nice building. The people are nice No one in your building has ever talked to you. They talked to me all the time. What do they say? I actually had a rough one the other day I went out my mind you've been to my apartment the the door for my neighbor is like they're like on top of each other Yeah, yeah, and I ordered a sandwich on Uber Eats and I was playing video games

and I was talking to my friends, big ass headset on, microphone, open the door. My neighbor's right there. And I'm just, yeah, dude, I don't fucking, Oh my God. And I was like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Dude, that's, that's the worst. My neighbor caught, like we had a shared laundry and I was moving his things because he just left them there. And he came in when I was doing it. I'm holding his underwear. I was like, we're both guys. I think we're both guys.

This is mine. So embarrassing. That's brutal. Holding someone else's clothes is as bad as it gets. Dude, I'm constantly doing that. And then Hillary, I'll tell her the story and she'll just be like, what the fuck? Yeah, that's pretty brutal. Why do you keep doing this? I'm like, that. And then Hillary, I'll tell her the story and she'll just be like, what the fuck? Yeah, that's pretty brutal.

Why do you keep doing this? I'm like, I don't know. It is infuriating when people will leave their shit in the washing machine for a long time. You gotta be on top of that. Flipping that quickly. By the way, new shirt. I got a new shirt.

It's perfectly creased. That's a nice shirt. I love that Japanese. I wear a nice new shirt today. This is a bombas shirt. One of each is donated. Oh, very nice. Wow. I've heard that no one actually cares about that, which is sad. Like apparently there's all these like charitable marketing techniques that companies use and they found that the consumers literally don't care at all, but they say they care, but they don't really doesn't influence it. It doesn't. It was true of what the shoe company that

did that. They made a pair for every time they sold. Yeah. It's Tom's. Tom's and bombas donate. So a shirt or like socks or they donate everything and you have people just don't where people will give like 10% of profits to like battered women or something like that. Yeah.

Not give a fuck about battered women. I do. The consumer doesn't. It's not on me. Unfortunately battered women. I do. The consumer doesn't. It's not on me. Unfortunately. I prefer my women grilled. Yeah. I don't know. Throw one of those in there with the neighbors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You'll get free coffee in no time. You like that? Standing in the elevator. Do you know battered? There's some, there's some brands of shoes that if you buy, they'll give the, they'll give a pair of shoes to battered women. All right, now this is gonna go somewhere, so hold on.

Stay with me, this goes somewhere. I'm not sure what's happening right now. Battered women, I'd like my women grilled. And then you hit it with that joke. Yeah, see, now that is a joke that wouldn't have worked. Exactly. Especially to a woman in the elevator. You need something a little lighter.

Yeah, I think I got it. You mean like roiled Steam I got laughs Sometimes you got to stick with it. I'm going to watch what happens live after this You guys know what that is. That's Andy last Cohen Andy Cohen show about problem. Are you on it? No, no, I'm just going to be an audience member in like a filmed TV show. Don't you get fucked up at that thing?

People say you drink hard in the middle of the day when you go to those. I thought it was just the people who are on the show. Maybe that's what it is. I think it's like you do a shotski or there's like a bartender and you're all boozed. Do you know who's on the show today? Julianne Huff? Oh, the dancer. Yes, I believe the dancer's on, and I forget which other...

She's amazing. She's from Bravo? No, she was on Dancing with the Stars. She was one of the dancers for many seasons. And then she... Her brother's a dancer too, right? Her brother's a dancer as well. I think, I believe she used to date the...

Ryan Seacrest. They had a long relationship. And then she also was in Footloose, the remake. Yes, that's what it was. Interesting. Have you guys ever been an audience member of a TV show? I have. I have not, but I know a dude who does warm up for a lot of those shows. I've done it before too. How was it? They red bull the audience. I would do it for infomercials, and they'd be giving everybody donuts and Red Bull. And then it would be like a beauty product.

And I'm like, and they're like, this is all you need to do. I'm like, you just gave them all fucking cholesterol, heart pumping, like avoiding what you're feeding them is what will make them. It was savage. Did you say that? No, I would have gotten. What do you have to say? I just have to be like, all right, where's everybody from? Oh, ladies. Oh, you say that? No. I would have gotten. What do you have to say?

I just have to be like, all right, where's everybody from? Oh, ladies. Oh, you could be my mom. You want to adopt me? Who wants to adopt me? All right. You got to go up there for like 40 minutes. It's so funny, dude.

As clean as possible, right? Or relatively. Maybe. Let's get some coupons out here. funny, dude. As clean as possible, right? Or relatively. Let's get some coupons out here. Yeah, right. Watch candy. Who wants this? They did that on Crashing. Yeah.

Yeah. It has a meltdown. Yeah. They got a form. Yeah, I watched that. But I met some dude. There was some comic at the stand who said he's been doing it for like 30 years. Who? I forget what his name is. I

think I have his phone number. There's an LA guy who I just saw doing stand up that said that's what he does. Was very interesting. I used to, when I was a kid, I used to fantasize about being in the audience at a Jerry Springer take. Oh yeah. Just because at the end of Jerry Springer, they like give you a microphone and you get to like say something nasty to like the inbred person that's life just fell apart right on stage in front of you. And I used to fantasize about having a witty quip

that makes them fucking furious and they want to fight me. And Steve gets in the way and the crowd starts chanting my name. I wanted it so bad. You ended up becoming quite good at that particular scale. I know, maybe that's why I had the inclination just sharpening my sword, like testing it out every time I watched Jerry Springer.

Let's say they didn't really do it on more. It was really, Jerry was a fucking free for all. Jerry Springer was awesome. Former mayor of Cincinnati, I believe, looping it back to Cincinnati. I remember he did run for something and won, right? He was the mayor and I think he ran for something, but he got busted getting prostitutes.

He did? Wow. Yes. Springer. Which is only a big deal if you're getting caught. He was running for higher office? Yeah, I think, or maybe he ran for governor of Ohio or something, and then he got in trouble for that. I don't know. It must have sucked for him so bad to get caught.

I guess it was before he was the, uh, before he was a talk show host. Did they get him in the, in like a sting? I don't know. That would be brutal. Yeah. He's just like in his own, like the guys who get caught doing that are always in like an under shirt. Oh yeah. Cause it's definitely like an impulse. They're probably like at home with their wife and they're like,

she's not going to have sex tonight. And I got to go out and get sick. I got to go to the gym. Yeah. Ten o'clock. Yeah. No, I think you do get to that point in your body's deterioration where you don't even want a paid sex partner to see your body. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, they keep say clothes. I think that's why they have like these like loose boxer shorts and a shirt and they're like doing cocaine. Yeah. Oh, they keep stay close. I think that's why they have like these like loose boxer shorts and a shirt. And they're like doing cocaine.

Yeah. It's like, let this guy fucking rock. Dude, let Jerry Springer do his fucking cocaine. Let him do his thing. I was I did his last interview before he died. It was on the Patbeth show. And really that day, a coworker had given me a fucking. They were like, do you want to you want to micro dose mushrooms? Oh yeah. I remember that. And I micro dose mushrooms and I was freaking the fuck out. And then I talked to uncle Jerry. He calmed my ass down. It was

fucking incredible. He didn't know I was on mushrooms. Did you get like a stronger dose than you had planned for? It was so, it was so much. It was like so intensely paranoid. No, I was just like scared. I was just like, it wasn't a drug experience at all, especially in this fucking violently corporate characterless office. I mean, I just went to one of these white rooms, which is the same thing that they put you in

if you're having a mental breakdown. Yeah, and then you turn the lights off, and for some reason, it's still light as hell in there. Yeah, so I couldn't escape any of the senses that were fucking overpowering me. It was nasty. Yeah, that's brutal. Damn, dude.

I wanted to share a drug experience because Francis is going down a whole drug path right now. Yeah, I don't know if you knew that. He's in his drug era. I do know this. Francis is using like crazy. Yeah, big drugs. Really?

Ecstasy. Ended up doing some ecstasy the other weekend, which Wow. Mixed with mushrooms. Didn't really go very well for me. It had them in a hole. I'm not going to say that I didn't know that I was doing ecstasy, but I barely kind of.

Were you drunk when you took it? Yeah. Were you with Rick Ross? That's the problem. I've been there. Drunk, and it was like chocolate, mushrooms. You catch them trying to find them when he chocolate, mushrooms, and they were like, there's a little bit of ecstasy in this.

Damn dude. Play around with it. It was a lot of it. Did it. It was fine. The next day was the worst. Yeah. They say that it can like suck out your willingness to live and

that it may never come back. Shrink told me that once, I've never taken this. Rone made a really good point. He was like, you're borrowing happiness from your future self to pay for it now. Wow. That's definitely, or it's just like a chemical. Did you come up with that?

I didn't. It's pretty good. I've heard that like, about drinking that exact phrase that you're like borrowing from tomorrow or whatever. But I think it's literally your chemicals in your brain. Like you're getting some serotonin from somewhere else in your brain or like digging into a reserve and you won't be able to have it. But a buddy of mine was suggesting that, uh, uh, what did he say exactly? You're supposed to take five HTTP and melatonin before you go to bed.

Right. Well, I don't know what 5-HTP is. And then I said to myself, I did, you know, I don't know that I want to layer more drugs on top of drugs. That doesn't seem. Well, is that drugs or vitamins? What's HTP? Or hormones. Yeah, it's 5-HTP.

None of us knows. It's 5-HGH you're supposed to take. What the fuck? Supposed to take some training. You'll get out of it. No problem. It'll be good to go. Dude, the last time I took it, apparently I like blacked out. I was really young.

And apparently I had this Sony commercial that just came out. Yeah. Apparently I was just walking around telling everyone that I was the face of Sony. I have no recollection of this. I just turned into a braggart. I'm Sony. Yeah.

I'm the face of Sony. You probably recognize me from PlayStation. It's such remorse, dude. Oh, these speakers are nice. They're not Sony, though. You guys know Sony? Speaking of. What are these, Bose?

Sony. Yeah, I'll get you. I can't even listen to Bose, actually, contractually. Yeah. As the face of Sony. If you want me to stay, you're going to have to remove all these. Can't even be in this room, yeah. God, it would be a PR nightmare if someone caught me with these.

No pictures. I saw that you just took a picture. Do you mind if I take a look? Cause I, yeah. You're going to have to delete that now. Cause you know, do you, where were you? Toronto. And by the way, it was, I was doing a road gig. I took the bus. Yeah. A very mook of me.

Yeah. But this is one of my first, you know, gigs that was getting paid. This is a very long time ago. And yeah, I took the bus. It was quite an adventure. And then I took the bus back. Oh, on a come down from on a come down. But I was just happy to be in the game.

Damn. That's fucking awful. How long is that bus ride? It's quite long. And you stop at the border for a while, which makes it longer. And buses just go slower. Like, it's not like you're going the same time it would take to drive to Toronto. Bad. That's stop in Syracuse. You stop in Buffalo, if I recall.

But I made like 300 bucks. Just sick at the time, dude. You know, and you're the face of Sony. When people ask me if I was a comedian and that was my job, I could say yes without having to look down immediately. Which people love to ask you that question early in the game. You know what I mean? I got hit with it recently.

The thing that I know you fucking hate. Which one, dude? Someone goes, so you're a comedian. that recently, uh, the thing that I know you fucking hate, uh, someone goes, so you're a comedian. Like, is that like your full time thing? Or like, yeah, but what do you do? Yeah. Yeah. They start answering the, they start answering their own question by making diminishing claims about you. So they'll be like, Oh wow. You're doing a comedy club. Cool. Yeah. So it's like, you're the, you're, you're doing a comedy club. Cool, yeah, so it's like,

you're just one of the guys on the show though, right? Or you're a bartender. They can't imagine that you're not doing this as a hobby, as an amusement. Cause they're probably like, well you haven't made me laugh in the first 10 seconds of this interaction. How could you possibly be a stand-up comedian full-time?

Do you ever? Yeah, is that how low you think of yourself that you couldn't know somebody who is an actual working comedian? This is on you, dude. Yeah. Have you ever had weird interactions with that? With like, I was in the South doing a show

and I was Ubering back and somehow, I'm pretty good at not telling them I'm a comedian. Like I'll say I'm visiting friends or something like that. And then he was like, what do you do for work? And then I was like, oh, I'm a comedian. And then the guy instantly pivoted to the like, oh, it must be a rough time to be a comedian. You guys can't say anything anymore. And then I was like, yeah, it's not terrible. And he's like, I's like, I mean, it's crazy. Like black dudes can go up on stage. They can say the M word all they want, but if a white dude does it, it's a problem. And I was like,

we're like arriving at the airport while he's saying this. And I'm like, yeah, preaching to the choir, brother. I didn't change my whole act. Yeah. Yeah. Because these days you can't say the M word like five years since comedy has been modern. You haven't been able to just say the M word on stage. He started good. I mean, that's sort of like a nuanced thing to say as opposed to being like, man, you can use any of the stuff I tell you in your app. Like, you know, that's worse. But a lot of those like alt right guys, they are like obsessed with comedy and not being able to say anything, but they also, they don't

even like comedy. Right. They just are obsessed with the fact that I guess comedians are being censored. Right. Makes sense. But I don't think it's even, it's not happening. It's not even really a thing. Yeah. You know what I hate more than that though? When like, oh, they find out I'm a comedian and it changes the course of the conversation. I hate when somehow they get comfortable enough to like tell me cringe ass shit. Oh yeah. I was like, the border, like you lose me immediately

when you start talking about the border. Yeah. The border is the same to me as New York's really gone downhill. Yeah. Those are related. For how much are we like, can you believe how much people are paying

for fucking like chips these days? Yes. Yes. All right. Yeah. It's like $4 for a bottle of water. Dude. And there's less chips in the bag. It's like, bullshit, dude. I can't fucking believe it. I get angry when people tell me that the wind farms off Nantucket are actually doing more harm for the ecosystem.

They say that. They're like, it's actually doing worse for the fishery and the ecosystem. Is that a thing? They say that they're like, they're like it's actually doing worse for the fishery and the hatch and all right, let's take a minute to talk about game time. Guys, I am looking at the game time app right now. And I am thinking about going to see future and Metro Boomin at the Barclays Center. I'm a big future fan.

Yeah, me too. I love him. Cody and crazy. And Metro Boomin, everybody knows the only way to make future better is to add Metro Boomin. Yeah. Right? Absolutely. That's right. With Game Time, the official ticket partner of Barstool Sports, you shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. Game Time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets to all sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. They have flash deals for sudden discounts, zone deals for when you're feeling flexible and their lowest price guarantee means that if you can find

the same seats for anywhere else, less game time will credit you 110% of the difference. It's the best place for last minute seats with up to 60% off of your favorite events. What are you waiting for? I'm going to future and Metro Boomin, and I'm gonna get my tickets on Game Time now. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply. Download the Game Time app today last minute tickets lowest price Guaranteed did you see the one wind turbine? I'm not sure where it was, but it was a blaze It was like dude right on fire And then they shoot flames and you can't but there's no way to put out the fire and they can't stop cuz and they're like 800 feet near like there's no fireman that's a climb up there be a hose that can shoot up there. It's literally like a dangerous death weapon. When I was in high school, they added a shit ton of wind turbines.

They had a shit ton of windmills to master like this area around where I lived and they were having like a big meeting in like the town hall about it and my dad said that he was gonna go wearing a windmill costume with his hands on fire. Walking through the crowd, shooting flames everywhere. That's funny. That's way funnier. Oh yeah. My dad has a good one of these too. He thinks it's funny. He called crackerjacks. I learned he did this in his class. I was like, Oh, that's good. And saying that you did this in class, but my dad's a professor. You, but what you. I was like, Oh, that's good. And saying that you did this in class. But my dad's a professor.

You, but what you were saying about like, Oh, there's less chips. He called Cracker Jacks and was like, Hey, there aren't, there haven't been as many peanuts in the Cracker Jacks. He's like, I think maybe the peanut guys like asleep or something. Like, sir, uh, there's no guy like it's automated. I'm like, sir, uh, there's no guy like it's automated. He's dealing with penis. Like you got to get to the bottom of this. Nick Mullins old prank calls calls Buffalo wild wings.

And he says that, uh, he says, or no, not Buffalo wild wings. He calls Outback steakhouse and said that the Blooming onion has gotten progressively smaller throughout the years. And he said that he's coming to Buffalo to outback steakhouse with his own onion. And he wants them to cook it into the Bloomin' fashion. And then they're like, sir, you can't do that. And he's like, well, then I guess I could just go back and pick out my own onion in the kitchen. And he drags them on for like 45 minutes with like the same person.

And they're like losing their mind. It's so good. That is one of those items that looks way better in the commercial. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was never a blooming onion guy. I'm actually not a really a big outback steakhouse guy. I'm more of a Texas roadhouse man. Texas roadhouse superior. It's like you feel it. You feel the blood stopping in your body as you're eating a burger. Yeah, those are, I mean. It's like grinds to a halt. Just so deep, like triple deep fried. And the sauce, whatever the sauce is, pure oil. You'd have to pay me a lot to eat one.

Really? Because I would eat one right now. I would crush one right now. This conversation has me Jonesing for one. I'm starving right now. Do you get any sort of backlash internally from dietary decisions yet? Every single thing I eat, I have diarrhea.

Dude, I have diarrhea only. You need to re calibrate your microbiome. Yeah, I do. I drink the poppy sodas bro. 72 hour fast. I drink them occasionally. They help. Do you guys think you could do it by the way, the 72 hour fast? No, no. Definitely easily. you guys think you could do it by the way the 72 hour fast

Now definitely easily You think you could do it not even for 72 hours. Just water water and black coffee or just water water I do either Rowan could do it. It's a long fucking time like is there a dollar amount that could motivate you Yeah, for sure. I'm just wondering like what would it would it be? And you just think you could just do it. I think I just muscle it. I could do it just starting now. They say it could be good for you,

but I've heard a lot of people be like, it's quack science and other people swear by it. I think it's bad for women, I've heard. I'm not sure why. But didn't they? Because they end up looking the way that they should, and then they can't achieve that. But it's a beauty standard.

It starts eating away at all the right places. Yeah. It's completely unfair. Dude, back all the right places. It's completely unfair. Dude, back in the Yak, they did a 24 hour fast and I didn't do it. There was this Stan 10th anniversary party that night and I got fucking blacked out and they had a seafood buffet and I was just hammering shrimp. And then like somehow people found out. And then like people wanted people literally wanted me fired. They were like fire him. They're like, that's insane that he didn't.

And I was like, so we all think. Yeah. Crazy. It was more just like it was kind of nice to do to to reset the body. Yeah. But it was like, who gives a shit. People are still mad. I didn't go to Iran. Yeah. Oh, it's not too late. People are mad. Damn body. Yeah, but it was like, who gives a shit if I didn't do it? People are still mad I didn't go to Iran. Yeah. Bro, it's not too late. People are mad.

You knew. Damn near. Oh yeah, it's not looking that great. But we should go, dude. We should go, dude. I'm getting my Italian passport. I almost got it. Yeah.

Sort of. But next year I should have it. We should go, dude. Your Italian passport? You'll have to. Really? Dual citizen? Are you a dual citizen?

No, but my parents are both fucking, you know, voyagers. They've they took a boat here. So I'm like able to get it. But, dude, the thing that's fucking me up is my dad just decided to give himself a middle name in the middle of his life. So all the documents need to be amended. I'm like, dude, what the fuck? And then my mom's birth certificate.

He decided to give himself the middle name, Michele. That's so funny. And then my mom's birth certificate doesn't have parents on it. And the dude was like, is there something you guys just like don't talk about or something? I'm like, dude, my mom had parents, bro. OK? She was an immaculate conception, right?

Yeah, right. Exactly. That's so funny. So I'm working through it. But then I'm going to get it. And then me and you, dude. Iran? So is it easier to go to Iran from? With the Italian passport, it's so funny. So I'm working through it, but then I'm going to get it. And then me and you dude, Iran. It's always easier to go to Iran from with the Italian passports way easier. Okay. Cause they don't like us. Well, the us you just needed like a guided tour for the whole thing.

You don't have as much flexibility with what you can do. And the visa process is way stricter. I think. Yeah. It takes longer. I looked into it. I mean, yeah, we were talking about it. What's it called? Kush Island or Kishon? Yeah. Kishon Island was a possibility, but I longer. I looked into it. I mean, yeah, we were talking about it. Okay, what's it called? Kush Islanders? Yeah. Yeah, Kish Island was a possibility, but I guess I mean it's not really in the cards Also, if you have a US passport and an Italian passport Can you kind of pick and choose where it gets stamped so you can get your stamps in your Italian one? But then still have the freedom to go to Israel or wherever. Yeah, mutually they're not really doing the stamps these days I know bummer. It's annoying. I didn't get a stamp when I went to Iceland freedom to go to Israel or wherever. Yeah. Mutually. They're not really doing the stamps these days. I know.

Bummer. It's annoying. I didn't get a stamp when I went to Iceland. I thought I was going to get like some sick fucking like caveman. You gotta ask them and then so they might not put some things. Yeah. Jesus. Those are the angriest and saddest people.

The people who are stamping just like looking at a billion different people all day. Yeah. They do not want to say a fucking word. Yeah. I didn't get a stamp when I went to Canada either. Dude, I tried to get one and Sam, they didn't give it to me, but the guys like, what are you doing here? And I was like, oh, I'm a comedian. And he goes, well, guess I'm supposed to say break a leg.

Hey, give me the power to swear to God. I recorded that. That's pretty sick. Wish I recorded that. Those are the really nice ones. Dude, on the peanut factory guy, I saw a headline of a woman who got jail time, a lunch lady who got jail time for over her career stealing. It's had $1.5 million worth of chicken wings. Oh, I saw that. And

what's his name's gonna pay the fucking like O line man on the Chiefs is gonna like pay her bail or something. Really? Yeah. What's her bail? Is it like a lottery book? Does he have to pay for the chicken wings too? I think he's paying for the chicken wings. That's insane to give up $1.5 million of your salary. So like, was she just eating the wings? Cause eating $1. million dollars of chicken wings. That's Chris Jones. So many ways. If she was selling them. Yeah, she's selling them. Yeah. Chris Jones said he's ready to shell out one point five million to free

an Illinois school worker convicted of stealing chicken wings. Yeah, I like that. Good karma points. Yeah. But I mean, I guess he he has one of the biggest contracts in the league. But that's so much. That's like a still a decent chunk of what his take home pay will be. Yeah, that's probably more than 10 percent of his take home pay. I think that's I think I think it's like one game. No, but take home now after taxes, because it's like it's not like

he can take it out of his like overall 30 million dollars a year contract. Yeah, I was looking at it. I was looking at it. It's a lot. Cam Cam Newton said that his take home pay per game was $800,000 per game. Yeah 16 games pretty good But still it's like and he said win or lose but this is like toward the end of his career or I don't think so. Oh shit. I just want him to be making more money than that What's pat bab's take home pay?

15k I mean the dude gets a gift card to the NBA shop in Times Square. Campaign signed with the New York Knicks. We don't like him on this podcast. Campaign signed with the New York Knicks and he's making like 3.1 million dollars but like with New York taxes. Hey come on. Yeah. He barely, he's just a, he's a Jag, he's just a guy. Yeah. Forget about a guy. Yeah Taking the subway to the games Taking the subway to MSG. Yeah, I said that on the on that the pepper part that he's just selling like tahini Scalping the four tickets is given. He's the hot dog guy who gave me the water.

He sobs out and he goes straight to the stands. Hot dogs! Hot dogs! Can't what you're getting, damn it! Get on the fucking porch, man. Damn it. You have a special coming out? I finished one. I don't know when it's coming out. Yeah. I'm hoping to find a nice home for it. That'd be fucking sick.

I would hope so. What's that process like? I don't really even know, bro. I don't know. Just in the hands of an agent. Yeah, and some of the attached talent who are supposed to be helping and hopefully will be helpful.

And we'll see what ends up happening with that. I'm hoping that it ends up finding you a home. I don't know. You figured out what you're doing, yours? No. We with that. I'm hoping that it ends up finding you at home. I don't know. You figured out what you're doing, yours? No. Yeah. We're not, I'm behind you. I haven't, we haven't finished the edit.

So my edit finished like right as summer began, which I think in theory, like a lot of that kind of stuff doesn't happen during the summer. There's always an excuse though. The amount of times I hear people being like, oh, this climate we're in now, or like, the business has been weird.

I think we need to like change that instead of saying that it needs to be like, Oh, this is actually a weird time. People are actually buying stuff. The normal time is no one's buying stuff unless you're fucking somebody. Yeah. You know, like, yeah, we sell stadiums anymore. It's fucking bullshit. It's like, what are you talking about? That's not, it shouldn't be your expectation. The fucking worst is we don't know what they're looking for.

You ever get that? Just tell me I'm a loser to my face. Every time I audition for something, they go, well, we don't know what they're looking for right now. I thought I thought it really well. We just don't know what they're looking for. You were great. But yeah, every casting agent has loved me.

Oh yeah. But yeah, every casting agent has loved me. Oh yeah. But yeah, exactly. Dude, all of a meeting with someone who's like, in no way would they ever know who you are. And then you go meet them. Like, we're, I mean, we are huge fans. Really? Yeah. A 50 year old accountant is a huge fan of Lil Sasquatch.

That adds up. Right. The guy said that to me. That's all you get. I guy said that to me at a. That's all you get. I mean, we are obsessed with your work. Either the waiter, the MaiderD at Carbone said that to me. But he just referenced my two most recent Instagram posts.

Oh, yeah. It was just like, he had clearly just looked it up right there. Who was that? Who was that with the Travis Scott? What's the name of my first mixtape? Yeah. And if they don't answer the door slowly closes. Who was the dude that used to work here? Brandon? What was his name?

Probably still works here. No, not like- Oh, Brandon Mim? Big dude. No. Black Brandon? Yes. Brandon Newman? Brandon Newman. When I, the day I started here, I walked in and he came up to me and he was like, huge fan of your work. And I was like, really? And he was like, yeah, dude, that tweet that you did, it was like a tweet that I wrote like while entering the office, walking into

the building. You said first day at Barstow? Crazy. And then someone was like, and then someone told me that like he did the exact same thing to me when I started. I think it was Nick said that. I was getting autographs at a Celtics game when I was probably 10 years old. And there was a guy, they were playing the Sacramento Kings. And I was standing near the entrance, like the tunnel, as the Kings were doing their shoot around and getting off the court. I had gotten about four or five autographs already. And some other guy came out. And I was like, I went, Hey, hey, man,

can I get your autograph? And he looked up and he goes, what's my name? Ooh. And I go, I don't know. And he goes, you don't even know my name. And then he walked away. Oh my God. He likes to be my start string. He was so hurt.

Who was it? That a 10 year old boy. I don't know. Robert Parrish. Larry Bird. I don't know. Robert Parrish. Larry Bird. I don't know. I know the black guys. He was a black guy. And he was so upset that I didn't know his name.

That's what it is. I remember being like, I hurt that guy's feelings. Dude, I used to go to NFL training camps. And at the beginning of NFL training camp, there are 90 dudes on the roster and dudes are coming up to you and signing shit. And like they'll never fucking make an NFL team in their life. And they're just signing a billion autographs that are just nice for them to be signing autographs.

This dude should have just enjoyed the fact that someone even wanted his signature. You go home or 30 years later, you go on Reddit and like, who's this guy who signed this fucking jersey at eight years old, you see them out there wearing the same practice Jersey that, you know, the starters are wearing and you don't care. Exactly. Dude, I don't even dress myself. I just want to be like, I got the most autographs ever. I got 30 autographs Like why does he?

Why is his ego get in the way that yeah worse players do have pretty big egos though. I'll say that I've had people I've had I've had like someone asked me for a photo and then someone else asked me a fur photo Who's like I actually don't even know who you are Just this is my buddy He said to get a photo with you and I that feels kind of shitty. You're like, well, I don't even know who you are. Just this is my buddy. He said to get a photo with you. And that feels kind of shitty. You're like, well, I don't want to. Oh, that's the worst. We don't have to be in this fucking picture.

Or are you supposed to be like this fucking Halloween? Yeah. Like I'm coming up to their door. Yeah. What are you supposed to be? Yes. I actually have no fucking clue who you are. They love to do that.

Like there's a friend who brought their friends. The friends don't know about you. And the friends would be like, you know, honestly, I didn't even know who the fuck you were before. Yeah. was pretty good yeah the worst is I don't think I've ever actually had someone go up to me and be like hey I'm a huge fan can I get a picture it's almost always my brother's a huge fan can I get it's like dude you can tell me that you also enjoy stuff that I do you don't have to be like. What if they don't? I don't think you're cooler now.

But they don't have to say that either if they don't. Just be like, hey, good shit, man. Big fan. Yeah. You can lie about being a big fan of somebody, but I think that they think that it's nicer to you or disarming, like I don't even know who you are. I think that they think that they're making it

less awkward for you. Yeah. I think that they're also wanting to connect on an equal footing. Right, but you're not fucking special. By admitting. You think that they're also wanting to connect on a equal footing. Right. By admitting, by admitting, you're special. You're fucking not. Yeah.

By admitting right off the bat that they're a huge fan. Uh, they are putting you ahead of toppling the dynamics, dude, literally. I'm in like, for me, if somebody comes up and says, I actually don't even care. Cause I'm so relieved that I actually sold tickets where I might even just be like, dude, can I give you 20 bucks to like, buy tickets? Can I give you 20 bucks to like like all my, my last 10 posts and comment on all of them, please. Yeah. You like one of their posts. You give them a follow. And then they stop fucking with you. Cause you're like, give too much and then they don't take you seriously anymore. Fuck someone hit me with that yesterday They're like I put up a picture of my dad for his birthday and they're like picture of your dad on his birthday

Well, you finally got me to unfollow I'm taking it down right now. I'm sorry What do I have to do customer acquisition everybody knows that photos of fathers are a direct way to vote for Kamala. What the fuck? Who's my dad on his birthday? Fucking weirdo. But I think that people don't even like to be fans of shit. They're like, uh, they think that it's like weird or like, right. It's like, Oh, it's chuggy. Yeah. And I appreciate that when people are like, is this weird? And I'm like, no, it's not weird at all. This is what it is. Please continue your, your patronage. Yeah. People only like to be a fan if they were like the first to something,

if they can tell you that they knew about it before you did. And they're like, dude, I've been a fucking chaperone fan for fucking my entire life. Yeah. I fucked with him when he was sitting in the Jerry Springer audience. Such a fucking nasty thing, but people just want to be first. They just want to, they don't want to nerd out

anymore. I like nerd now. I like what I like. And I get, And I get upset. Like, I'm really into sort of like Spanish language music, as I've been told, I need to say, because I say Spanish music.

He'll say they're not from Spain. Spanish language. OK, Spanish language music. So what the fuck is it? Oh, it's like bad money. Yes, exactly. I love all that shit. And sometimes it hurts my feelings

when I I want to sort of like bond over it with other people who like it and they're upset when I want to sort of like bond over it with other people who like it. And they're upset that I like it as if like me liking it represents some sort of gentrification. Yeah. You didn't make the song, dude. Isn't it good that I like it too? And is, wouldn't it be good for the guy that made the song if he was more successful? So he kept on making music that you like. Yeah. It makes no sense. The gatekeeping thing. Everybody's so weird about the gatekeeping. Ethnic tribal gatekeeping.

They think that the thing they discovered needs to not get too big or else it becomes uncool or they won't have as much access to it. Yeah, but that is weird to like things because it makes you feel cool. I've always believed that the things I liked will benefit more if more people like them in general, with the exception of the housing market.

That's, you can't put that toothpaste back in that tube. more if more people like them in general, with the exception of the housing market. That's that you can't put that toothpaste back in that tube. No. No matter how much mook asks for it. Yeah. You're fucked on that one. I don't even really know what I mean by that. I'm trying to think about the economics of it. I know it makes sense somehow. That everyone wants houses. Anytime I see a homeless person,

I'm like, finally less competition in the market for me. Yes. It's more like the place that I own a homeless person, I'm like, finally, less competition in the market for me. Yes. It's more like the place that I own a home, or if I own whatever, there's a part of me, there's that inflection point of like, yeah, it's great that more people are moving into this neighborhood and making it nicer, which is going to theoretically drive up the price of my home, but could also.

You want to slam the door shut behind you and be the last person that moves into whatever area you're in. I guess. I don't know how long. If you're renting, it fucks you if it gets nicer, but if you own it, it's great. Exactly. Yeah, that's exactly right. That's good nuance.

Good nuance. Fantastic nuance. I mean, I guess it's fun to be the first one to know something, plant your flag in something. It's like sharing the knowledge. Trying to think of what is the, is there something that I knew first? Dude, you've always famously said that you're a follower. Good, that's fine.

He has famously said that. He goes, dude, I always, I hear about stuff and then I get really into it. Yeah. That's how it works, dude. That's how it works. That's literally how it works. I like shiny things that people tell me about.

Like unless you're in the fucking studio while the Beatles are recording, like I'm pretty sure you heard about it from somebody. Late to the game. I will enjoy the twilight cool of that thing and be the last person to enjoy the last days of it being cool before realizing everyone's moved on. When the song Skater Boy came out, I told my sister right away that this was going to be the

fucking song in the summer. Sure enough, dude, it was. I heard Latch Disposition a year before it was popular and I couldn't stop listening to it. What's that? The one with Sam Smith. Oh, Disclosure? Disclosure. Disclosure. By Latch?

Latch is the song by Discl disclosure featuring Sam Smith. That's it That one's sick Disclosure disclosure rocks, but then along came fucking Fred dude changed everything. Fred again. Yes. Really? I think so. Or I mean, yeah. He did another remix of that song. No, no, no. I'm just saying that he's like, he's swapped up a bunch of disclosure fans. I believe I'm not familiar with Fred again. Yeah. Someone put him on. Put on Prince. It's a you definitely have heard some of the songs. What are they? Uh I don't know. He's dancing. Not familiar with that. Really? We've at the did you watch

Triangle of Sadness? Yes. It's the movie that's it's the song that's at the very end of Triangle of Sadness. Sadness. Yeah, no, not ringing a bell. Sam, who now it is. This is a fucking A1 dance hit. Yeah, it's actually kind of a banger. It's no, it's a bad makes you want to be in Tulu. Yeah, I might throw that. Hey, hey, throw that on when I get home.

Got to set up a coffee table. Dude, I could see you turning into a DJ someday. Hell no. I feel like you could find yourself, you like audio now is your thing. He gets up to do it. You'd be into the buttons and the frequencies. I'm a very musically, I am a little musically talented actually.

That would be sick, dude. You being, like, your Shaq diesel moment. First chair in clarinet. People did always used to say that I had decent poise. I was actually not first chair. That's a lie. I was second chair. Damn, you could have got away with it, too.

And the girl that was first chair ended up going to Harvard. Asian? I will not say. Yes. Dude, you and the DJ would be sick. I'm sorry. Him, the DJ, he'd just be like, what's up? Everyone would lose their fucking mind.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. All right. I don't think I like the environment of DJing enough to be a DJ. Which would make you as a way sicker DJ. I could be a DJ at like a silent disco. The anti DJ. I could do a silent DJ where everyone's got the headphones on.

And you would definitely hate on mainstream DJs so hard if you were a DJ. I'd be like, I've been working the Bar Mitzvah circuit for way too long now. I've been running this shit for 10 years. Open tables. And this fucking kid just comes starts playing the main room first weekend. Yeah, right. With that hacky shit. He's doing crowd work. He's played who lets the dog who let the dogs out fucking six weeks in a row.

Dude, that's so fire though. After hilarities in Cleveland, catch him at the fucking local nightclub spinning. Livestream. That would be a good way to make a lot of money. Make a shit ton of money doing a set and then going straight to the club to just hit the tables. That's. Lil Sasquatch Sasquatch Sasquatch. Brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr brr Yeah. Just, just sound bites of my old sketches. Oh my God. I just came like, can I get some toothpaste? Can I get some? Can I get some toothpaste?

I saw a video of a DJ this past weekend, and there was he was at his DJ table and it was like boiler room style. So everybody's around him. It's a girl there and she was honors her phone and he reached over and like took her phone and like handed it to one Of his boys and she was like, what the fuck and then just like started Shit. Yeah, he was like nobody's no you can't be on my on the phone while you're on the decks with me Yeah, it's such a fucking douche move. No Dude who took the phone. No, that's cool. That's something that you douche move. No, no, it's cool. How am I doing that? The dude who took the phone.

No, that's cool. That's something that you would do. I would, at dinner. But the comment section, the comment section was going crazy. They're honestly were like the people on the breakdown lane who were like, well, what if there's an emergency?

They're like, well, what if she was like texting her mom or something like that? I had, my uncle was at a DJ set standing behind the DJ last week and he was texting to find out if his son was going to be alive. And then the DJ took his phone and now his son's dead. Yeah, dude, I had down from the platform. Right? Yeah.

She'll have her phone back. Pop on the phone with mom, make sure grandma's okay. When I was in Cincinnati, it was a early show Saturday, a lot of local people. Great show. Get off. Host goes up. I noticed he's up there for like a long amount of time after. And then he comes back into the green room and he's like, dude, he's like, I just had to go up. The owner gave handed me a note. He had to go up after the show. Great show ended and go up and go, thank you guys all for coming. Hope you guys had a great time. Marissa, please call your daughter. She needs to get in touch with you Isn't that fuck

The girl called the club to be like I need to talk to my mom That's crazy must have been something terrible. Did they yonder bag the phones still sick that they did that though There was no service. There's like no service in that club. Nice of them to do it. Yeah. That's some 1990 shit. That's still fucked up. Yeah.

I mean, it got to the point where she probably called her mom like 50 times and then was like, I'm calling the club. It was probably something pretty bad. Or not. Or not, or she was just freaking out. Or she was just losing her shit. That's fucking hilarious. Are the dogs allowed to have grapes? or not or she's just freaking out. Or she was just losing her shit. That's fucking hilarious. The dog is allowed to have grapes?

Ask Siri, I don't fucking know. It definitely wasn't dumb shit like that. Yeah. Max ate one of the grapes and now I think he's gonna die. Just some girl, some little kid hysterically crying. Can I stay up till 10.30? Yeah. That's crazy though.

This movie's PG-13, can I watch it? The host said that when the guy handed him the note, he like laughed, he was like, he's like, are you fucking with me? Like I actually have to say this on stage? That's crazy. All right. That's not right. Call home.

I mean, realistically, she was probably going to find out what happened within the next minute she was leaving. She got her own bag. She was, she had, they had their phones. That's even crazier. I think she was just so in tuned to the set. They would never do that at the mothership though. We should test that out at the mothership.

The ship. No, I don't think you're even allowed to call the mothership. I think if you call their phones, it goes like, it just directs to the fucking police station. What do you need? Joe is not available right now. Hans Kim's just working the phones. Yeah. Austin's fucking incredible though. Great fucking scene. You spent any time out there? A little bit, yeah. Yeah. I did Vulcan Gas Company last summer, it was great. I wanted to sort of like poke around the mother trip a little bit, but I was staying with friends and it felt like whack to just be like,

I'm just gonna like, Break off from the group. Poke around the social scene of comedy and not hang out with you and use your house as a locker. Yeah, that's true. So if I go back, I'll definitely like try to get my feet wet. I know it's like an intimidating experience,

but I still will just sort of like put my tail between my legs and accept the awkward L's that I take along my path to greatness. I definitely took a couple L's. I took a couple L's when I was there. I went in with three comics that are past regulars there. And still it was like, fucking SWAT teams being like, what's this guy's fucking deal? He said he's from New York.

Crazy. Done to the back of my head. Jesus. Just do a quick ride for him. Not actually. Okay. I would have believed it, dude. I've heard this is just like-

But like at one point we were in the bar and I went to go to the bathroom and I had to go through three cops to get back into the bar. Jesus. Yeah. It's pretty tense. So crazy. I'll talk to Adam. He get for you, bro. Appreciate that. Appreciate that. Don't have his updated number kills me. Emailing emailing him. It's, it's a, it's a, it's a running away from going out. He being back in the mix loitering outside, walking back and forth for hours. I heard you guys are over to the second club down here. Oh man. This must be great. You liking it down here? They do turn a lot of people down at the door. down here. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, they do turn a lot of people down at the door.

Comedians will try and go in and they'll be like, nope. Humiliating. Oh God. Yeah. Jesus. I can't deal with that at all. I don't have the fucking balls. Yeah, true.

Yeah, you got to pivot. Yeah. That's when I get into DJing. Yeah. I'm telling you, man. I was just hoping I could run a quick set in there. No, you're not. Music. I meant music, not there. No, you're not music. I meant music not comedy No, I don't do comedy guys have a house DJ. What do you play before? Yeah, once we get you into it, man

There's no turning back. I know that's an addictive drug the first first song you have to learn how to DJs It's a long way to the top You think you have like a building it's possible have like a bad set DJing definitely But I mean someone someone's dumb enough to be someone's on enough drugs to be dancing. Yeah, exactly. And it just doesn't matter as much. Music can be background music. Yeah, that's true. Totally. And you're not embarrassing yourself by the fact that people aren't engaging to the highest

level of reception. Or if you missed a transition or some shit. There were big, there were big lawsuits or like like it was the subject of a lot of court cases in Germany whether DJs were actually artists. And to test out whether they were, they would go to the concerts and like these auditors would check which way everybody was facing. They're like, are you actually facing the DJ or are you just like milling about? Is it background music or are you like locked in like experiencing the music? And one of the things in the lawsuit was like, are people getting fucked up?

And they were trying to use that as a strike against them. But the lawyer was like, people are getting fucked up. But like, what is music for if not to be an intoxicant? I thought it was beautiful. Interesting. I like that. beautiful. Interesting, interesting. I like that. So now that's why the German nightclub scene is incredible now.

I saw this clip. It's incredible. Have you been? Yes, bro. Really? I'm sorry, since we're still talking about it. The, I was in Berlin and I saw a giant security guard walk over to a guy who was passed out and put a blanket on him.

Damn. Isn't that crazy? That's nuts. Yeah. You like go for the whole weekend and it's just like nurturing fucking thing. I heard that if you bring out a phone, I heard a story that someone like brought out a phone and someone else like they just send it like someone had brought out a gun and they were like, stay in the moment.

Stay in the moment. Stay in the moment. Keep dancing. I swear to God that that was this beautiful. You didn't go to Burgheim while you were there. Did you? I don't know. I don't know where I was. Burgheim is like the, the nightclub of the world.

It's like the most, the hardest to get into. You have to wear like all black. Yeah. I think I went, I think that there might be a couple of places like that. So I don't want to say for sure that that's where I went, but I went to somewhere that fits that. No way. It was sick. That's pretty sick.

That was incredible. Is Red Bull illegal out there? I don't think so. Isn't it from out there? It's from Austria. Yeah. Oh yeah. Austria. Someone told me a while ago that Red Bull was illegal in Germany.

Really? Yeah. Like not, I mean, obviously not like punishable by prison, but I think it was just banned Really? I think if you snuck a red bull wouldn't be that big of a deal dude in Afghanistan There are children drinking red bulls on the street. That was one of the most like Fascinating things like three-year-olds slamming a red bull and it's like a knockoff red bull Yeah, the bull is the Chicago Bulls bull. Really? I swear. That's fucking sick. They call it red bull?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Is that even that bad though? Cause now it's like here kids are slamming the fucking primes. Those are like 300 milligrams of caffeine. I don't know. Prime has caffeine in it?

Oh, so much. The can does, not the sport bottle. The sport bottle doesn't? I don't think so. Okay. Okay. that makes more sense But even kids like slam like frappuccino or some shit like that milkshake style, dude they must have prime must have like bought the whatever like They must have like thought some sort of contract with like LaGuardia

It's everywhere. You can't get Red Bull at LaGuardia anymore or monster. It's all I gotta I get to get a fucking blue raspberry Probably those are fire though. They're good, but dude, they're too much caffeine. I was fucking shaking on the plane What did it do to your tongue? Not much. It blew it up. I love LaGuardia Prime dude. Yeah, really Fuck you drink the whole thing bro, I think had me I Was tweaking off of that.

I do like them. I'm a sucker for the new products, dude. I kind of am too. Cop the new like Barry, like when it's like, oh, the Aaron Judge prime. I'm going to sign some day. I'm kind of the same way. So I'm always every time I go to the store, I'm always just scoping out like shit that just like no one's ever had before. I think I was maybe the first person to have a poppy. I got them while they were handing them out on the fucking water. We're like,

what the fuck is this? And I was like six deep already. You gotta have one. They're great for your gut. Those things are good though. That's not right. Oh, they are. I mean, that's what could fix your microbiome. Yeah, but I don't think there's enough probiotics in it. Or what is it? Prebiotics? Oh, prebiotics.

Which I don't know what the fuck that means. I know. I think you're supposed to, it's the biotics that you're supposed to have before. They probably just found a good way to. Yeah. Sounds like it makes sense. They just definitely just found a good way to sell like a shitty knockoff cola. Yeah, but it's like, they're not, they're also like low Cal, but it's all

natural sweeteners, I think. Yeah. But what the fuck does that mean? I don't like the cola ones. The grape ones are fun. I haven't had them in a while. So it blows my mind when people try to break into the beverage market. It's the most saturated thing. The fact that prime is a thing.

Yeah. It blows my mind. They must have like Peter Thiel money or something. Right. You got to have billions of dollars promoting it. Then it's just a question of how big is your audience, right? Because like happy dad is successful as well. And, you know, yeah, I'm more of a high noon man myself. Me too. But like even like high noon working as well as a you know, yeah, I'm more of a high noon man myself. Me too. But like even like high noon working as well as it did is like a miracle.

Right. But it's because I mean, I'm, I'm going to give the nod to Dave. Yeah. But if high noon came out like today, you think it would still be as successful as it is now? Or do you think they got it? You think they got it right at the right time. Are you saying that we're done with getting new drinks? They always say that.

I think it's just hard. And then Prime and Poppy happen and you're like, okay, this is the same as, oh, no one's buying stuff right now. But like we'll park it around in like three years. Probably. White Claw exploded, right? Exploded. Nobody had made that, yeah, really in a good product,

a sparkling malt seltzer. Nothing since Zima. Yeah. They had like the actual spiked seltzer. And then High Noon came over the top and was like, well, malt seltzer. Nothing since Zima. Yeah. I had the actual spiked seltzer. And then high noon came over the top and was like, well, we use real liquor. And that's when everyone was like, wait, we didn't even know that- Game changer.

Malt was in this. It was malt. And then people were like, you know what malt is? That's what, that's the shit. And that's in forties. Yeah. And then you were like, oh, that's why my stomach's so fucked up. Yeah. No wonder I didn't feel good after that wedding.

And then, high noon, everyone was like, that's the only one that's got real liquor. And yeah, you know, that's why they're so good. And they are amazing. And then others were just too late to the game. Yeah. I think other people are trying to trickle in, but it's hard to get, you're right. It's hard to get in the game. Yeah.

High noons are great. People are, I mean, yeah. Kill for a high noon. They should make NA's. High noon just regular iced tea. They know like a watermelon high noon NA. Oof. Are you, are you off the wagon for life? What's up? I don't know. We'll see. You're riding it out. You're enjoying it. You look great. I don't really have any interest in drinking right now. Yeah. That's a weird realization when you take a break and you're like, oh, I was just doing this

because it was some weird habit. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm enjoying myself more not drinking, not feeling like shit all the time. What was your longest that you ever took not drinking? A couple months. And like, you know when you like go out to chill

and like everybody's drinking and you just like have to drink? Yeah. Like getting past a week of not drinking, you suddenly realize that like not drinking in that moment doesn't just crush your energy levels and like make you depressed. It's like, you have to like drink to like stay and it's not even on some alcoholism shit. It's just like a social lubricant.

Yeah, exactly. And then like, you suddenly get past that and you're like, Oh, like I can be present and energetic without drinking. This actually feels way better. But then immediately like a month later, I just like come home, chill with all my friends who get fucked up and yeah, been drinking ever since. I thought it was a nice moment. I still have a very hard time. I remember when you were, you didn't drink for a long time. I took a little break while we were doing the show, but I took a longer one when I

was in LA, but it always feels nice to do feels nice. I have a little too. Have I didn't you try? Oh, I would do the dry January Yeah, and France did dry January this year. You did like a week two weeks. Yeah. Yeah made it two weeks The last year I did it and I made it like 28 nine days What was that joke you had in your special? It was like dry January. It was like dry. People do dry January because of how much they party during December for the holidays and everything. And if no November is a thing, then what's going on in October? That's great. That's a good joke. Nice job, Sass. I didn't do that and it's not in anything I've ever done.

What are you talking about? Ron did send us that though. It was, it was for bits. Yeah. That's a really good bit. How many planes are the Arabs crashing into that Ramadan happens? Is that right? No, that's not it.

I don't know if that's the right Yes. No, that's not it. I don't know if that's the right follow up. It's analogous. Cause Ramadan is not a month of not flying in planes. Yeah, they're just praying on the planes. Yeah. People, there was like a video of a dude praying on a plane and like the caption was like,

what would you do if you saw this? Yeah. I'd probably just like sit in my fucking seat and not give a fuck that this dude preyed on the plane. Literally nothing. Oh, I had a guy prey next to me on the plane. Yeah.

And it was so interesting. I mean, I'm truly sitting directly next to him and he put his tray table down to do the, you know. Makes a lot. That thing. Yeah. And he was just doing it straightforward and I looked out and the Sun was like That way and I was like I don't think that's West you're going the wrong way I was I really had that feeling I was like

In theory he should be doing it to me Even though he was sitting forward, he could have kind of done one of those. You definitely would have given him like, oh, thank you. Too much, too much. It's too much, I don't sure. You should have said something.

You must have seen tires. I can't help but notice. I should have said, it was long. It's a long, the prayer is long. Should have woken him up. Today, I stood this way. It's a long... The prayer is long. Should have woken him up. Today. Why is it this way? It's wrong, bro.

You're praying wrong. He's not asleep when he's praying. Yeah, I bet they fall asleep occasionally. No, it's very active. When you're tired. There's a lot of movements. You're real sleepy. You're real sleepy, you go down for a prayer.

Just crash out. Pray yourself to sleep. I love that. Maybe he was asleep. I've slept with my head up against the fucking tray. Yeah, but he gets up and he goes back down, and then there's all kinds of movements to the prayer workout. That's how Christians pray.

They pray themselves to sleep every night. They make a list of people they want to pray for and they just fucking knock themselves out. Christians in the 1950s. Praying that involves like moving around, not for me. That sounds nice. It's probably good for your blood flow and your stretch. Like making salata is probably good for your hamstrings

and shit like that. Your lower back tightness and stuff. Yeah. Dude, people- The amount of kneeling and bowing. Totally, people who live in South Asia who are used to like shitting in a hole. They have like incredible hip flexibility. You just see an old dude crouched on the side of the road. I'm like, I can't do that now, dude. Yeah. I can't, I can't do

that. Yeah, I can't do dude. I went to when I was in Wyoming, we had to shit in the woods. And my buddies could shit in the woods. I couldn't squat like that long. You need a log Yeah, I try off the log. Yeah After eats the peaches You're gonna have to reread the Pacific. Yeah, you're not a liner notes. I gotta watch that and I gotta watch Masters of Air. Mm-hmm Same well watch it. That's our homework Fellas I gotta run to watch what happensens Live. Fuck yeah. Enjoy. Good luck. Julio, thank you for coming on.

Dude, thank you. Always a blast. Anything you want to pitch? Yeah, I have a funny, this is a really funny idea. What if we sold out all my shows on the roadside? That would be the funniest prank, dude. Let's do it. The boy dad bump. Yeah, come on.

I'm in Columbus, Funnybone, October 13th. Hell yeah. Hilarities, I think a couple weekends after you guys. Awesome. Columbus is such a fucking awesome city. 31st, 30th and 31st in Hilarities. And then also Seattle, October. I think that's pretty much it.

I've never been to Columbus. I've heard it. I've heard it rules. I've heard it's awesome. It's a beautiful city. Very metropolitan. There's like, I don't know. There's a nice area in Columbus. You'll find it. And everyone will find it when they come and see your ass up.

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Tickets at not Julio.com. Hell yes. Awesome. Fuck yeah. Thanks. Thank you guys.

Thanks for having me, boys. Yeah, of course, man.