Son of a Boy Dad - Haters in the Building - Son of a Boy Dad Ep: 85

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

Kanye West is no longer associated with Son of a Boy Dad, Sas and Rone recap their weekends in Minnesota and Colorado, Rone orders a meatloaf at a steakhouse, and more. Very funny episode, enjoy. Ads: Gametime Download the Gametime app and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Shady Rays Get 50% OFF 2+ pairs of Adult Non-Prescription Sunglasses at https://barstool.link/shadyraysBSS with code SON SoCo Learn more at https://barstool.link/SouthernComfortBSS Ridge Wallet Go to https://barstool.link/RidgeBSS and use the code DAD for 10% off your orderYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son-of-a-boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Adam Ferron Show. It is Tuesday. It is October 25th? Yes, October 25th, my half birthday. It's Roan's half birthday, and Halloween is right around the corner.

And Halloween's around the corner. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? Give it up for Lil Sasquatch real quick. So I remember when I was a kid, I went out as a pumpkin for Halloween. Roan, stop it. Talk about a seedy costume. Very funny.

Very clever. Have you seen this? Have you seen the Kanye stuff in the news? Unbelievable what this guy's talking about. Turns out he hates the Jews. Look, as a half Jew myself, can you blame him? God damn it. Half of me thinks he's right.

Half of me doesn't want to tip more. Oh, yeah. You just end the show there. Yeah, you really, you don't get a cold open like that anymore. That was a hot start. Yeah, that's why they had me on Corden's desk, all right?

They did. Now Corden's going to prison for murder. For a triple homicide. He asked for more bread, and they're about to throw him in the fucking clink. Kanye's really covering his ass. Oh. He's taking over the news. Oh, he's covering Corden's ass.

He's taking over the media like he's a Jew. They saw that Corden was getting some fucking good pub and he's like I am the true Jew I'm allowed to be anti-semitic Yes And you are my Jewish friend who I can claim and be like I've got Jewish friends I gave you half a pass Well actually technically I think I'd only give out a quarter of a pass

So which part, what can I say? You can say a good amount What's that app that is like K-I kick kick yeah i can say that without the hard e yes you won't dive into any slurs i'm saying i'm not going to dive into any slurs yeah but you were kind of hinting that you might no i'm saying that i got the pass from you my number one jew buddy and i don't think that it's fucking sweet how Kanye's talking about you guys. No.

It's not good what's going on with Kanye. And Dave is pissed. Dave called a tribal council. Yeah, Dave is pissed. He texted me last night. Of the office's top. He's like, we gotta stick together. Yeah. And now you guys are fucking coming in in formation

in some nice long coats and ringlets. Exactly. Looking good. Come on, fellas. Let's get in formation. Who else is Jewish in here that we know has a lot of Jewish people here? Big Cat, Dave, me. K-Marco.

Top three. K-Marco. K-Marco's right there outside the... Is K-Marco Jewish? Of course. Interesting. Whoever would have pegged him as a Jew. Do we have Jewish women, though?

No. Oh, wait. I think the boss woman might... No, I don't know, actually. Nardini? But that's obviously a name by marriage. True. I don't know know i don't want to speculate on people's faith gaz isn't a jew that's for sure oh my god he's going the opposite direction bald

head he's probably stoked about this kanye stuff he was he was all abuzz dude he was gathering his social team around being like you can only boost it from your burners. Boost it, but keep it to the burners. Nothing on the main page. Nothing on the main, but amplify it. Did you see, wasn't like Tico trying to write a blog about like Kanye's rise to power or his rise to fame? Like the day that all that stuff broke? That would be a crazy way for her to throw out all the goodwill that she's got right now. To fly too close to the sun.

Tico's in her blue phase. She's definitely crushing it right now. Oh, yeah. For her to throw it all out the window by backing Kanye. By backing Kanye. It would be like Kanye throwing out his Adidas money out the window. I know. Just so he could...

I've been heavy into the Kanye Reddit as of late. So what's the Reddit? It's really not not what you would think are they disappointed in him? they're very disappointed they like the old Kanye they're all like I'm not a Kanye fan anymore I'll still listen to his music but I can't support I don't like him which is surprising because you'd expect it to be the total opposite

of being like no he's right Kanye is obviously a good musician and I was talking to Tyler and Jake about this I've never never been a big Kanye fan. Well, he's good at orchestrating songs. He's like a record CEO. He can make, he can find a good rapper to write him a verse and he can find like hit boy to make a verse and like Drake to write the verse, but he's going to bumble through it. Like he raps, obviously like he's reading something over and like, he's always bumbling through someone else's good ass verse that they gave him dude i'm definitely gonna rewrite my whole opinion on kanye based on what the world thinks of him right now and act like i've always been thinking like that i i mean i i i can't really like i've

really never been a big fan of him i've never really the only album that i really listened to was the one what he did with jay-z was it watch the throne that's called now every one of his albums is really fucking good that's the problem i mean they're objectively good all its dropout was decent damn so you like the old kanye that's all i ever really listened to i never really listened to his new stuff is what dondo was a good album yeah they're all good but he's just a bad person yeah that's where you got to draw the line oh he's nuts and he's an idiot yeah he's he's a nuts idiot he is the worst like thought processes of anybody i've ever heard but the shit of him talking about george floyd was like insane it was like literally it was watching just an insane person speak he's like and then you know

who i thought about virgil he's like that's then you know who I thought about? Virgil. He's like, that's how Virgil died. He's like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? Yeah, it's so preposterous. He's like, if you watch the tape back, you can see there's actually fentanyl on the cop's knee. And he's rubbing it into George Floyd's neck. George Floyd was actively going after the fentanyl on his knee. They had to do that. But they didn't even touch his neck. Yeah. What actively going after the fentanyl on his knee. They had to do that, but they

didn't even touch his neck. What are you talking about? Then I saw Virgil sitting in the passenger seat of that car. And I thought, damn. I'm not even trying to cry right now. And even when they were like, and you know who I saw?

They guessed 15 other people. They were all like, Virgil. Someone did say Virgil. Yeah And they guessed 15 other people. All of them are like, Virgil. Yeah. Someone did say Virgil. Yeah, they did. Virgil. It was so weird. Yeah.

He's the king weirdo right now. No one else can... And actually, no one's even fucking close. Who do you think is crazier at their peak? Kanye West or Michael Jackson? When they both got real crazy. I wasn't really like... I don't know if I was, I think I was too young

to be like aware of what was happening. Michael Jackson died his skin white, got a whole new face and started dangling his babies out the window. Yeah. Gagne went anti-Semitism. But he also like, didn't he like a key like doxed his kids school? Gagne did? Yeah. Isn't he like making his own

school? Yeah, Donda Academy. Like his kids don't go to Donda? No, I looked at it. The application process is actually very easy. I heard. It's like filling out a job application. Anybody can go? Anyone can go. Except it costs $15,000 a year and you have to sign an NDA.

That's kind of sweet. They probably are going to have a good ass choir. that probably are going to have a good-ass choir. On the main page of the website, it's like, apply, about us, and then it's just like, choir is one of the tabs.

It's just like a choir. He definitely just wants a kid's choir that he can sample for cheap for his albums. 100%. Actually, they're paying him. He could do anything with that

because they're paying him and they assigned NDAs. Yeah, and he's definitely stealing all their likeness or if one of them's a genius, he's going to throw them in the songwriting factory and have them sleep in a sleeping bag in the studio or some shit. Also, didn't he

say prayers to his mom in the beginning of the day or something weird like that? I wouldn't be surprised. There was some video of it that i saw on twitter you're saying the dude with the god complex thinks that his mother's a god too yeah but he's like making all these kids yeah he's making his kids like pray to his his mom's name donda is that what it is yeah in the year like 2 000 years from now that jesus's uh story will just be completely conflated with kanye's yeah it'd be like when jesus was 21 he dropped out of college

yeah he broke his draw someone ordered pancakes he just sipped a scissor the funniest part was the the adidas thing and they're like adidas has no we have no place for hate speech and all this stuff and it was like didn't he like wasn't he like wearing the make america great again hats and he was saying like white lives matter and all this shit yeah he was and like they didn't give a fuck about that and he said slavery was a choice yeah and then they're like and then like the just because their stock is plummeting they he just shouldn't if he if he just didn't say adidas can't drop me yeah that was nuts i wouldn't have dropped i just watched that like right before the yak i watched uh that clip that was crazy he's like that's the thing he's like i can be anti-semitic because adidas can't drop me

and then it cuts and they're like adidas has dropped Kanye West. That was like five days ago. That seems like. That was like last week. That's just such a preposterous thing to think. I mean, I get why he thinks that if they was really making that much money for Adidas. No, I have black friends. I can say the N word. Yeah.

And no one can do it. No one can punch me in the mouth. No one can do anything about it. Yeah. No, it's nuts. He's crazy. Yeah, he actually is. I mean, I guess he's bipolar.

Wait, how about the clip of him calling Charlemagne or Charlemagne told the story? And he was like, my wife is getting dicked down by a white boy with a 10-inch penis, and you're supposed to be for the culture. Yeah. Wait, I didn't know that was real.

Yeah. He actually said that? He called Charlamagne I saw like the quote, I saw the quote card of it. Yeah, Charlamagne said it on his show. He's like,

yeah, Kanye just called me. I said that. Oh, really? That's what the quote card was from. That's hilarious. That's nuts.

My wife's getting picked up. And then like Kim Kardashian came out with the whole like, don't be. Say, I love Jews. Yeah. Everybody is, I'm not racist thing right now with, I actually love Jewish people too. Dude, it's crazy.

We're a limited bunch. I didn't know how little amount of Jewish people there were in the world. You'd think that there were more. Yeah. With how much structure there is in Hollywood. Yeah, because we're fucking top dogs. That's what I mean. Do you guys have Catholics as your underlings in Hollywood?

Who are the other people that are... Because there's so many movies being made, so many producers. You make it to the top... Are you guys just going by aliases? And there's a bunch of Jewish people going by different names and stuff like that? So it seems like there's more? Dude, when you make it to the top, it's all Jews. It's as simple as that. But do you know that-

Look around and you say, we finally made it. Who would have thought? Against all the odds. There's one right there. Looking at one right now. There's a, you know that British people can be Jewish? Have you ever heard of that? Have you seen that?

Yeah, it makes sense. Isn't that crazy? No. I thought that was crazy. What? what hey you guys all right that's crazy that's pretty dope jewish are pretty inclusive british people in rowan you're top 50 battle rapper of all time yeah from bet number one perhaps no definitely not number one. Definitely number one. Dude, they wouldn't throw you at the bottom if it didn't mean something. Trust me.

I haven't been on the Battle Rap Reddit, but they're probably like, Rones on the list? No way. They're probably listing. I've gone on that subreddit so many times, and they just suck you off 24-7. No, that's not true. Yeah. I'm hated and disrespected.

They love you. Probably because I look the same as all the other dudes on there. No, they love you. The ones that hate me the most look just like me. Yeah. I didn't see Josh Prey on there. I've been getting a lot of comments on that. Everybody's tweeting at him like, Yo, Josh Prey, what the fuck about this?

Is that like Josh Prey is like your biggest enemy? Yeah. Or like this like strong hatred for Josh Prey. Yeah, people think they're riding for me yeah josh prey it's like dude i was like no one has thought about that since that episode of the yak ended none of us have except for all the people that tweet at josh prey every calendar day of the year which i literally feel bad about because like i'm just like arguing back and forth that That's just literally what battle rappers do. I think the only thing, the only way that he can really bounce back

from that fully is if he battles you and smokes you. Josh Prey has got AIDS. I am not gay. You can't be like that anymore, dude. Times have changed. On yay, Josh Prey. Times have changed, brother.

You know that. The rap battle community is very progressive now. He thinks he's elite while I give his top eight. Josh Prey. Something like that. I don't fucking know. I don't know. That's why I don't do this.

I would shoot him in the head eight times or something. I don't fucking know, dude. You really have to lie about fucking shooting people. But battle rap is having a little resurgence right now. There's even a TV show that they're filming where eight Battle Rappers live in a house. Oh, shit. Like the Sway House? That type of thing?

I think so. But I think all they do is argue the way that Josh Prey and I were arguing about who can beat each other. They're just like... That sucks. ...standing in the kitchen. That sounds like hell. I saw a clip of it yesterday And there were Four people

And two They were both Arguing with each other At the same time It was like a two They're rhyming Not even rhyming Just arguing

Being like I would kill you I would kill you No I would kill you That sucks ass I would kill you That sounds like a nightmare Yeah

It really must be It's like yo dude Did you take You didn't get to Take the trash out? I'd fucking kill you. Yeah. And then they're just like,

I am white. Spitting M&M bars. Take the trash out, but you're glad that I bagged you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not quick enough to be coming up with rhymes off the top like that.

Okay, dude, don't be down on yourself. You had a long ass weekend out in fucking Minnesota. In Minnesota. You want to talk about your close friends' stories that you posted or no? Oh, I don't know what I posted. So, no, we won't talk about it. What, did I post something about the mall?

Maybe. Oh, did I say they should have burnt the mall down? Maybe. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. Should they have? I don't know. I think I said that the protesters should have burned the mall down.

That would have unified Minnesota. Yeah. No, that, uh, dude, it's not like Bloomington's not great. It's kind of a shitty area. I mean, all they really have is the mall. Minneapolis is great. Yeah, that's what you said on your story about something about Bloomington, something disparaging about Bloomington.

Yeah, it's not great. I mean, all they have, it's just the mall. But Minneapolis is awesome. Huh? It's a cool city. Did you get a Juicy Loose? I did not, no. Do you remember the thing that you promised you would bring back

that you definitely didn't bring back? No. Juicy Loose? I did not, no. Do you remember the thing that you promised you would bring back that you definitely didn't bring back? No. Juicy Loose? Gap Underwear. Oh, fuck, I forgot. Last time we were at that mall, we all went into the Gap, we all fucking got a pair of boxer briefs,

stretchy fucking beautiful boxer briefs, and you promised me you were going to bring back a pair. I didn't get briefs, stretchy fucking beautiful boxer briefs, and you promised me you were going to bring back a pair. I didn't get briefs for starters. I got boxers. You got boxer briefs. Boxer briefs are like boxers that are tight. I didn't get those. I would never get those. I don't wear that shit. I wear boxers.

You wear loose boxers like you're 12 years old? Yeah, it's way more comfortable. You're a grown man now. Way more comfortable. Your balls are just like flopping around inside your fucking... I have pairs of briefs, but they suck ass. They're so much better. No. They're too tight.

A vacuum seal... I don't want to be vacuum sealed. I like airflow. You're fucking... I need direct airflow all over my penis. With that... Oh yeah, brother. That shit's just bouncing around around fucking flopping around there

like a blind guy feeling some braille that he's reading i get too sweaty if i wear a blind guy trying to find the door of a fucking elevator the buttons on an elevator just fucking flopping around dude tyler had a funny ass thing happen to him while he was in uh enver in colorado colorado we uh i got to Colorado on Saturday. I went to a wedding during the day. Went to a Phillies game the day before. You went to a wedding? Oh, you flew out.

Okay, okay. I went to a Phillies game the day before, then went to a wedding during the day, and then I got there that night. Then it was fucking dark. I just went to sleep. It was fucking high elevation. I needed some rest.

And Tyler got in that night, and they didn't have enough hotel room for everybody i bunked with malice oh really that sucks no they sent jake across the street to go get another to like they overbooked the hotel they sent jake across the street to find another room for himself to another casino and there were no other casinos it was freezing cold He was about to go sleep in the car and then he just fucking knocked up on Tyler's room and just fucking, he was like, I have

to sleep on the floor of your room. And so he was just laying there with the top sheet on the floor and then at like three in the morning Tyler said that he just saw like felt someone like pulling the blankets and like getting into bed with him. Really? Jake just climbed into bed and was like, let this happen. Oh, no.

I was half asleep, and I just see a silhouette, and I forgot Jake was in my room. And I was like, what the hell is this? And then I just see ankles pop up, so we don't head to feet. And then he's like, you just need to let this happen. He said that in the middle of the night? It was like, yo, but like we got. It's rapey as hell, brother. That's crazy.

That sounds like he was sexually assaulting you. That's what it sounds like for sure. Let this happen? You got to let this. Just climbing into bed in the middle of the night? He was down horrible. So he took the rental car out in his name. We had to drive like an hour and a half.

He gets to the front desk. He's like, oh, we don't have a room for you. He's like, shit. So he bought a hotel across the street but he couldn't check until 11 a.m so he was just homeless bought another hotel for no reason then he had below he's like can i have your floor i'm like yeah i don't care and then he had my bed but he why did i feel like going head to toe is like more sus no it's not yes it is because then you're like you're way closer to the penis. Your face is way closer to the penis.

Yeah, but I'd rather, you'd rather be closer to the penis than closer to the face. Really? Face on face is gay. No, penis on face is gay. No, no. Penis on face makes more sense

than face on face. Yeah, I was happy it wasn't face on face. I didn't want to like wake up Little Spoon to me. I've had to crash with some of my boys before and we set up a border of pillows yeah you should I mean well if he gets and then we still go fate

we still go go to face that's how straight we are go to face with a border we sit we lay also we also lay on the short side it sounds like you're terrified one of your boys is gonna fuck you yeah you have to always be on dude you always got to be on edge around your around your

boys yeah you never know who's gonna fuck me i want it to be my boy who's gonna fuck you out of nowhere especially your boys yeah you really can't sleep on your boys never know your boys that well like you could be posted up in bed with them and next thing you know you're getting fucked in the ass and And they're like just let this happen. Just let this happen. Let this happen. And you're like shit. Okay. And you just go alright I guess I will. Alright I guess I got

to. Alright I guess I'll just get fucked in the ass. But if you're face to dick like you guys are going then they could just fuck your mouth. Which is way more personal. Way more memorable. Yeah but you're probably going to be asleep. No, you've seen the penis.

No. If anything, it's probably just resting in your mouth. Resting? Like a lollipop. You just suckle on it. You don't even realize it. Gross. That's fucking gross.

Dude, it was a terribly long drive for us to get from the airport to this blackhawk casino i got in the uber and the lady was way she was furious she like threw her hat down she was like so mad that she had to drive that far was it like a was it like a scheduled driver was an uber it was an uber so why did she just not accept the drive she said that this is the one time she's taken off her glasses she said she just saw like a big ass number as far as the amount of money. And she said every other time she looks at, she has her glasses on and like wouldn't have accepted it. But she said this is the one time. I was like, what do you want me to do, dude?

Like I have to get there. You drive for a living. Yeah. What do you want me to do? Did you offer to get out and just be like, we'll get a new one? No, I told her I was going to tip her a bunch, then didn't. That's smart. I never tip.

Yeah, on Ubers. On Ubers or anything? Anything. No, I tip, but I don't usually tip on Uber drivers. Are you supposed to? I don't usually tip. I didn't know you were supposed to. I tip on Uber Eats all the time. On Uber Eats, I do every time. I don't think I've ever tipped an Uber driver.

Driver. I got in multiple arguments with Uber drivers this week. And she was like, I was like, what do you want me to do? I was like, you were on your worst behavior. I might have been. I've never gotten in an argument with an Uber driver. I became, last night I got, as we were leaving at like fucking, we just had a long ass day. I mean, Tyler hasn't slept since we woke up in Denver yesterday at fucking 5.30 a.m.

Tyler's really, truly on one. He's still on the back. I was on edge because like we were just leaving after the we recorded a podcast last night and I got in and I fucking closed the guy's trunk and he's like, you don't slam my trunk! Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had that before. I've had that before and it pisses me

off so much. The guy screamed at me. I was like, dude, I didn't know. Yeah, I had a guy yell at me once because I closed the door too hard. If it goes up automatically it comes down. I was like, every car is different. Yeah. He's like, I had a guy yell at me once because I closed the door too hard. He's like, if it goes up automatically, it comes down. I was like, every car is different. Yeah. He's like, this is a Lincoln XRT. It's also just not true.

There's a lot of cars you can pop the trunk and it pops up. Exactly. It doesn't mean that it goes down automatically. He's like, this is a $60,000 car. And I was like, every single one is different. Tell him to buy a cheaper car, dumbass. He was like, this is not a Camry. Only the Camry.

Oh, Jesus Christ. How the fuck am I supposed to know that? What an ass. What an asshole. He was. And I was going back at him. Yeah, man. I was...

Did you battle him? I was feisty. Tell me you didn't battle him. I was getting really feisty. But eventually, we wound up laughing about the lottery prices. I recorded our conversation. The Powerball is $625,000. Yeah, there's a Powerball.

Oh, my God. Even the other one is $625,000? Yeah, there's a Powerball. The other one is $45 million. There's also a lot of money. See, we became friends eventually. Why did you record that, you psychopath? Because I was on my way home texting my wife. I was like, I just got in a fucking fight with this Uber driver, dude.

And then she was like, what? And I was like, no, we're actually friends now. We're going to share the Powerball with each other. Damn. Someone young like you, you deserve that $600 million. One million just for me. I was like, all right,

I'll give you a million dollars. That's a pretty brutal deal. For him. But he said he's too old. He won't be able to enjoy it. $600 million, he'd take one. That's his deal.

Bad bargaining. That's the deal that he made. He could at least squeeze out like 10. I think he realized that he was in the wrong. I was like, I'm trying my best out here. Yeah. He also had a bad day. There was somebody who

brought a wet dog into his Uber. He said it smelled bad. That's annoying. Wet dogs do smell bad. Do you ever bring food in and you can tell they don't want you to eat it and then you eat it anyway? No, I do not. I've never brought food into someone's Uber. When you're a road dog like me you don't have much time to eat that's not true all you have is time during the day you literally sit around except for one hour you're a road dog like me you gotta eat when you can you have 23 hours

of sitting oh i go straight from the i go straight from the airport grab a quick bite bring it in the uber munch on it you get. I get straight to the show. I got to do dress. I got to do makeup and dress. You got to get in your costume. I got to do wardrobe and make- You got to put on your goofy overalls that you wear. Your polka dotted overalls and your wig that you wear on stage.

You slapstick bastard. Does Bobby Lee get naked for every single one of his sets? I don't know, dude. I'm not that comfortable with myself to be able to... I was listening to a story of him on YouTube today talking about his worst bomb ever. It was at Caroline's. I know he's gotten naked before on stage.

I think that might be his thing just every time he's on stage. Yeah, I don't know if I could even laugh at somebody like that. Dude, he bombed at Caroline's in New York in front of 12 people while he was ass naked on stage. That literally sounds like a nightmare.

Chris Rock was in the crowd. He went up to Chris Rock and he was like, what the fuck are you doing? While he was naked? Yeah. With his balls and fucking, his balls eye height on stage.

Dude, that's wild. Just staring straight ahead at Bobby Lee's dick and balls. I guess if that's your thing. I don't think so, dude. That's a little bit too comfortable for me. I don't know if he does that all the time. I just know that in that in that story, he said that he was naked. And I've heard stories about him getting naked on stage before. Let's let's do an ad. Oh, yeah. Should we do two ads back-to-back? We could do that. Why not? Why not?

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Head on down to Shady Rays. It's Shady Rays, baby. What I like to do is I put on a pair of Shady A's and slam my head into a concrete wall until the Shady Rays absolutely disintegrate into my eyeballs. And I go and get a free new pair. That's right. I just send back the broken pieces.

I'm going to get two new pairs. Well, I mean, with that freaking code SUN for 50% off, you can get two new pairs for basically the price of one. That's a BOGO, brother. That's a goddamn steal. That's a BOGO, brother. That's a goddamn steal. That's a BOGO stick. Brother, I am very, very happy to be back in New York. I will say that.

I'm home for like a month. Yeah, Sassy's off the road. He can really chill. The road, dude, the road can just become so much. Oh, yeah. I'm just always on the road. And I said, hey, I got to get back to my city. And you've been to a bunch of cities.

You're seeing the world, but... the world, mostly hotel room, no place like home. You know, I got to spend a beautiful weekend in the Mall of America. Did you go outside at all? What did you eat while you were out there? I want to know what you ate for every meal. I didn't eat much. I guarantee it was trash. I guarantee you didn't have one good meal. No, I actually, I think we were keeping it pretty healthy, if I do recall. What was the best meal you had then, if you can't remember anything else? The best meal I had was the chicken fingers I had before the weight show on Saturday. Exactly.

I told you that you were eating... They were damn good. Fresh. They had this nice honey mustard, and it was so fucking good. You liked the chicken fingers? Then I went explosive diarrhea five minutes later. Exactly. Because they were probably double deep fried on some oil that's been sitting.

They were very deep fried. Do you like chicken fingers that are like ground into the exact same consistency the entire way through? Or ones that you can kind of peel and like be like, oh, I remember that there was an animal that used to be alive that was attached to these. I like the peel ones. There's like tendons in there. You kind of can see the consistency of the bone. Oh, I don't... Not the bone.

Why would anyone like that? Because it's more fresh. I mean, people like chicken fingers better. I just think that just means it's more undercooked. I'm talking about the consistency. You can cook the hell out of those. We're going to cook that waitress, serve her some damn good steaks. Oh, yo.

We did, dude. This coked out waitress serve us some damn good steaks. Oh, yo. We did, dude. This late. That waitress, I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. Absent snot rocket off the rip before she even asked our drinks. She came by

and honestly, she kind of had us wrapped around her finger. She was like, all right, talk to me, Goose. And we were like, whoa, this girl's fucking firing the entire time.

She said, talk to me, Goose? She gave us a talk to me, Goose. You would have loved it. Yeah, it's Top Gun. She give me a shoulder massage when i was ordering a drink i hate that didn't like that at all you're knee slapping but and then we're like oh let's give us another second and then she came back around and kind of did a bend over to like talk to us and a diamond of cocaine fell out of her nose The biggest fucking chunk of cocaine that I've ever seen. An actual chunk of cocaine? Like a big one. Where did it fall?

It fell on the floor between Tyler and Jake and as she walked, like we all pretended it didn't happen. As soon as she left I was like, we all just saw that fucking snot rocket of coke fall out of her nose. Oh, that's so gross. And it was sitting on the ground next to them. She must have been so embarrassed

but she was on so much coke in this little-ass town called Idaho Springs that there's no way that she could have given a fuck because she was so yipped up. She was on so high energy in this one horse, one street, one stoplight, podunk town, and she was just off the drugs, dude. It was disgusting.

That's so gross. It was foul. I wouldn't be able to eat after that. Yeah, no, I got the drugs, dude. It was disgusting. That's so gross. It was foul. I wouldn't be able to eat after that. Yeah, no, I got the meatloaf. You got meatloaf? At a steakhouse, yeah. Why? What's wrong with you? I just was craving meatloaf.

I've never craved meatloaf once in my life. I like meatloaf. And Tyler was saying that, I mean, he would just eat it growing up because it's a good way to feed the whole family. Yeah, my mom used to make meatloaf all the time. And I think that's why I don't like it anymore. My love of meatloaf doesn't come from my childhood, though.

It comes from an adult going to fucking restaurants with low lights and like red chairs and shit like that. That's probably why you like meatloaf because you didn't have it a lot when you were younger. Right. Like a bacon wrap around it with some kind of like sauce on it and you have a fucking beer with it. It's like a hearty ass meal. It's like a Midwestern. You just have just straight meatloaf with ketchup.

Yep. Yeah. Yep. The idea of it is disgusting and like having it served at home is way worse. Like your mom, like it's like

anytime my mom was making meatloaf, I'd be like, I'm going to fucking kill myself. The restaurant needs to be dark for me to have meatloaf. Like it can't be like bright lights and like fucking meatloaf with the onion sticking out of it

or some shit like that. Peppers and shit. Did your mom have onions in it? I don't think. We might have. I don't really know, dude. Meatloaf is a blur to me. My mom used to have onions sticking out of hamburgers. What'd you say? I think I blacked out all of those memories. Just disgusted by meatloaf. I mean, it's the worst word.

It describes it perfectly, though. It's just a loaf. It's in the shape of bread. Yeah. I don't even remember what meatloaf tastes like to be honest maybe I'll get some meatloaf tonight see look how fast my boy changes it's kind of nice just to get a taste if you can on a if you can find a good meatloaf spot but uh I've been on a weird dinner regimen lately why are you bulking up just I for the last two weeks straight for dinner, every night I've had an egg sandwich and a smoothie.

What the hell? What? Every single night. Dude, you must be like propelling yourself by how bad you're farting. It's probably skyrocketing your body into the atmosphere. No, dude. It's actually like probably healthier than what I've been eating for the last two years. I get egg whites and turkey bacon.

Chicks in the office just bounced. Shit. Shit. Salute to them.. Chicks in the office just bounced. Shit. Shit. Salute to them. Yeah. Our contemporaries. Hell yeah. I do egg whites and turkey bacon.

Because you're trying to be healthy so you have a bread and cheese sandwich? You could just do regular eggs and regular bacon and skip the cheese and the bread. You might be in the same boat. What do you mean just bread and cheese, brother?

You're having bread, cheese, turkey bacon, and egg whites. Yeah. Thinking it's healthier than just having regular eggs and regular bacon without the bread and the cheese. But I want the bread in it. Why would I just want to eat regular eggs and bacon? I want the bread. Yeah, but that's what's...

You're acting like you're being healthy. You wanting the bread makes it less healthy. No, that's a common misconception. No, you're a breadhead. You convince yourself that any sort of carbs is bad for you. You have bread brain. No, this is a good, nice, clean meal. And then I get my nice fruits in with a smoothie after.

What kind of smoothie? Berries. Blueberry, raspberry, strawberry. It's probably like a full cup of milk. A full cup of whole milk. All I know is I'm eating clean. I'm not having... I just can't with the New York ordering food

and be like, I'm going to get a... Let's get a salad. And then it comes and it's like a pound of food covered in all these different oils and seasonings. It's like, just give me something plain. Salad is a fake way to eat healthy. Yeah. Salads are not good for you. Newsflash.

You know what's good for you? An egg sandwich. Egg whites and turkey bacon. Extra bread. It's not extra bread. With bread on the inside. Convince yourself that bread is bad for you and it's not. It is. No, it isn't. You just think it is. No, you just think it isn't. What's bad for you? Meatloaf.

Yeah. If anything is not bad for you, it's meatloaf. Meatloaf is way worse for you. Meatloaf is not bad for you. It's like an old person food. It's so good for you because it's completely even. A little hot sauce on there too. The meatloaf? No, on my egg sandwich, dude. I thought you were starting to fantasize about

the meatloaf. That shit sounds gross. I can't wait to have my egg sandwich tonight. We got to put this in a poll. We got to settle this for fucking once and for all. What's better, meatloaf or egg sandwich? And every single vote will be for egg sandwich. I think one of the funnier things you did was when we were in Texas, right when we got to the first restaurant to do the kolaches,

and you got like two egg sandwiches. We're like, dude, we're going to be eating all day. Yeah. No, no, that was egg salad. Big difference. Egg salad's amazing. And that was an amazing sandwich. You're an egghead, bro.

That was like a nice like home, like a homey type restaurant. And they just had like freshly made egg salad sandwiches on like wheat bread. Like sometimes that's all you want. Sometimes you want something nice and bland, something plain that reminds you of home. That's what meatloaf is. It's literally exactly what you're describing. Something nice and bland something plain that reminds you of home. That's what meatloaf is. It's literally exactly what you're describing, something nice and bland and plain that reminds you of home. I guess, but I'm thinking more just like a nice homemade. When we put up the poll, it has to be an egg white sandwich with turkey bacon versus a steamy bacon wrapped meatloaf.

Egg whites and turkey bacon taste exactly like eggs and regular bacon. That ain't true. Yeah, it is. Turkey bacon don't taste the same. And I'm not trying to... Turkey bacon might not taste the exact same, but egg whites taste the exact same. Especially if it's mixed in with the cheese and the bacon, you're not going to be able to tell any difference. I prefer egg yolk omelet like James Corden's wife. Yeah.

You're going to have a heart attack. If your heart to explode into 10,000 pieces. That's so rich. That's like you're just trying to propel yourself towards death as fast as possible. That's so weird. Just egg yolk. You think egg yolk is unhealthy, but you think that bread is like the fucking base of the food pyramid. The only thing that's bad about bread in your mind is that it has carbs in it.

It doesn't like the crust. Yeah, carbs. You need carbs for fuel. Carbs make you sluggish. No, carbs give you energy. They do the opposite of making you sluggish. You've just convinced yourself that they make you sluggish. Do basketball players have a big plate of pasta before they go on the court?

No, but I'm not going on the court. I'm eating my dinner to lay in bed for the night. So you need energy so they don't get yeah because it makes you sluggish because you're eating all that bread i'm eating it for dinner before bed it slugs you out now you're so you couldn't be more wrong i don't fucking touch bread ever yeah that's not true you just told me you had a jelly donut right before this i know so fucking crispy cream that's like five cookies calories i know and 700 grams know, so fucking good. Crispy cream. That's like 500 calories. I know. And 700 grams of carbs.

So fucking good. Do you fuck with English muffins? No. They're so good. I don't fuck with English muffins because that's what my mom used to have sick my eggs sandwiches on. Really?

Yeah. It's fucked up when parents try to make their kids eat healthy because it ruins them eating healthy later on in life. Oh no, my parents did not try and make me eat healthy. Like we ate healthy, but like I just didn't have a good balance of nutrition. Like I would have, we would just eat like a big ass plate of pasta for dinner.

So just blend. And I'd be like, that was healthy. And you're like, dude, that was only carbs, no protein. Well, I thought that's what you like. No, because I'm having turkey, bacon and eggs, which are both protein. You need a mix. You need a mix of protein, carbs, and fats. So if you had some... I'll have my protein

and my carbs, and there's a little bit of fat I believe in cheese, and then I'll throw down some almonds after, some healthy fat. That's what I did last night. It's a perfect balanced meal. You're eating almonds for dessert? I love almonds. Smoked almonds? Yeah. Fucking amazing. Are're eating almonds for dessert? I love almonds. Smoked almonds.

Yeah? Fucking amazing. Are they salted on the outside? Yeah. Yeah, that's fucking too much salt, too. No, dude. It is. And if anything, I've earned that salt because I'm not having the real bacon and the real egg.

You could have just had the real bacon and the real egg instead of trying to fucking fiend for salt like you're Frank to 10. I'm not fiending for salt. I could eat lightly salted. Lightly salted almonds. You probably wouldn't know nothing about that. I like to knock all the salt off my almonds. I like to put my almonds all in a sifter and fucking shake it until all the salt falls off. You could just buy the raw almonds. No, I like to strip them down myself.

Yeah, clean them. A little flavor. Because then I look at all the flavor that I've sifted off and I'm like, ah, I'm fucking 23 grams of salt more healthy. That sounds stupid. We should whip ass around this office more. We should fucking start cracking heads.

Should we get Gaz in here? Start with the guy in blue? Is that Gaz? That's Gaz. Oh, damn. And he's probably listening right now deciding whether or not he's gonna fire you fire me? who?

I just re-signed five years they just you and like eight other people just re-signed for a ten year contract is it re-signing season?

said they want me until I'm thirty at least damn dude what are you gonna do with all that money? you just got the fucking million dollars worth of game back

how funny was that fucking video of million dollars worth of game? It was the funniest video of all time. And I was in a big Gillian Wallow binge this weekend. So was I. They're so funny. I can't get enough of it. And it's like unintentional, but intentional.

Like, yeah, they just signed a long new contract with Barstool. Do you think the video was intentional? No, he was actually crying. I know. But Do you think the video was intentional? No, he was actually crying. I know, but do you think it was intentionally funny? Obviously, the Rick Ross thing had to be intentional.

It's rich forever. I think they just picked way too long of a song and Gilly didn't know what to do, so he had to wallow back and forth. I saw people with that theory, but I think that he picked a long song on purpose. They could have fucking cut the video from the beginning. They could have jumped ahead. I think they wanted picked a long song on purpose. Like, they could have fucking cut the video from the beginning. They could have jumped ahead.

I think they wanted that build up. I think that the video was the perfect length. Also, I loved you see people commenting being like, they didn't even read the contract. It's like, what do you guys think? Someone just threw the contract in front of them right then? You're like, so you're not even going to have like a lawyer look this over? They didn't even film themselves reading the contract. It's a one minute video of them

signing it. Wallace felt his name wrong. Every day we sacrifice. I love that because have you ever signed a contract that's paper? Sign it on paper and then mail it to Barstool? I guess. I don't know. It would have always just been digital.

What was that? Massive? I just reply yes. Then I'm locked in. You do a docu-sign and just sign it on your reply. I say, sounds good. Sounds good to me. It's a thumbs up emoji. $40,000 a year, okay. Just like the comment, heart the comment.

I do the automatic reply, okay, got it, exclamation point. And a confetti pops up yeah yeah that the fact that they had like the big saucer on their like what is that where the fuck do they even get that thing a barstool saucer on their table yeah we need a saucer like that or like a cake they're just making out with their new

Amsterdam million dollars worth of game yeah I called three cars a piece and they were flexing them all. Gilly had like the best caption of all time. It's like, rest in peace to the parking lot. It's just flexing a new car. Rest in peace to the parking lot. Dude, what did, did, did they actually get a hundred mil or is that a rumor?

I believe that's a rumor because, uh, who said they did? The comments on Instagram? Daily Loud. Yeah, but that's based on the comments on the daily loud is all factual i mean i'm sure they were crying they got so much money it had to have been a lot of money how much money would make you cry i don't know i don't think you're capable of of uh crying i'm not a'm not capable of excitement. Yeah. You can cry from feeling terrible.

I could see that. But I can't see you crying from fucking loving life so much that you're overwhelmed and fucking... I don't think I've ever even come close to crying from joy. I almost cried from joy when the Phillies won this playoff series. And I just started watching round one. You didn't even watch round one. I was with you and you watched like you weren't even watching the game.

No, it was on the other TV. No, you weren't watching, bro. Fuck. You're a fake-ass Phillies fan. You might have watched game what was that game? Five? Six? Seven? Eight? It wasn't game seven. I know that. Oh, well. For the World Series, I'm making my prediction now.

Phillies in three. Holy shit. That's not possible, is it? Phillies in three games. First ever. Pack it up. Phillies in three. Print the fucking shirts.

That's a good prediction, dude. Print the fucking shirts. Print the shirts. Phillies in three. Phillies in three. That's a good prediction. I like that. Phillies in three. Are we a good prediction. I like that.

Phillies in three. Are we going to the game? Should we? We should go. I don't think I can go to the one on Halloween because I got to record with my buddy, Pat Beverly. Well, Halloween's on Monday. And that's when the game three of the Phillies is. Joey Comasta, what's up, Joey?

You got any Halloween plans? Anything spooky happening? I actually just got invited to two Halloween parties this on Saturday. Damn, I haven't been invited to any. You want to tag along to one? I don't have friends. There's one from 5 to 8 on Saturday, and then there's one after that, karaoke, costume karaoke. And you know that's right up my alley.

Well, what would you be? A little bitch? Freddie Mercury. Dude, that's right up my alley. Well, what would you be? A little bitch. Freddie Mercury. That's not even funny. Don't call me. You know I take offense to that. So now the thing is actually I don't really play like that. You call me a bitch,

I take that as disrespect. I said what I said, brother. That's what I was struggling with i didn't have a costume i don't have like i'm not going to any halloween parties you know i'm gonna be getting up all around the city getting my sets in getting my grind in halloween's a little uh elementary for me yeah but what you'll get to an age where it's actually it'll be sweet again for you you know what i mean you're just kind of jaded with how the world isn't what you thought it was. Hell, I actually like,

I went to a Halloween party last year. Oh, so it is for you. Well, I was much younger then. How much younger? I was much younger. How much younger? Were you last Halloween than this Halloween?

Brother, I was so much older then. Dude, my wife got a... I'm younger than that now. My wife got a Joe Exotic. I love Dylan. You wouldn't know anything about it? I sure wouldn't.

We all go as Bob Dylan. That'd be dope. What would you wear? Get a wig. Why? Didn't he have the same hair as you? No. He had curly hair.

Oh, damn. Borderline and afro. People would never know that it was you. My wife got a Joe Exotic costume. I was like, dude, that's two years ago. Did you tell her to return it? She just showed a picture of it ordered from Amazon. You can't wear that.

No. She's going to get flamed, dude. If you were a good husband, you would. I did. I told her. I was like, save her from the humiliation. She'll have to wear one of these Roman gladiator-ass costumes instead. God damn it.

God damn it. What the hell is this? You get you should get like weirdly mad about that yeah like hold it up like it's like some dude's underwear what is this yeah what the hell is this i can't fucking deal with this right now how are people gonna take you seriously that came out during covid it was the costume of the year two years ago. Punch a hole in the wall. Why don't you just whip out your Furby or your Tickle Me Elmo? We're going on the fucking oldest trends possible.

Why don't you be a pet rock? I think last year I went as like Jake from State Farm and I just wore a red sweatshirt because I didn't, I wasn't going to do anything. That's corny too. It's very corny. I didn't, I wasn't going to do anything. And then Owen was like, hey, why don't you come to this? That's usuallyny too. It's very corny. I didn't, I wasn't going to do anything. And then Owen was like, Hey,

why don't you come to this? That's usually how I think I get invited to things when people are walking out the door. Who? Who's that? It sounds familiar is why I'm just trying to remember where I can't put a face to the name. I know. Bro. I fucking miss that guy,

man. Yeah. I'm having a hard time coping ever since Owen's out of my life now I've been lashing out getting angry screaming at Uber drivers

yeah you've been crumbling pretty hard I just miss my guy dude I don't know what I'm gonna do do a smoke weed so this is Halloweekend

correct thanks yeah I'm probably gonna I got some spots I got some spots at the stand late night spots that place could've been

great man like 1am the stand used to be fucking incredible yeah I'm pumped dude I haven't been there in a while could've been

my friends great pumped to see all my 40 year old friends your 40 year old gay friends yeah it's gonna be fun I'm actually very excited

dude I haven't been in New York in the weekend in over a month. Those guys fuck enough for the both of you. Oh, yeah. Your 40-year-old gay friends. My 40-year-old boys, they fuck. Every time I come to the stand, Sass introduced me to a new 40-year-old who leads with his body count. He just is like, yeah, I've actually fucked 1,500 guys. In the last 10 years I've

fucked and sucked my way through half of lower Manhattan I do that is usually how it goes I've had that conversation so many times have I introduced you to my boy who fucks and sucks a lot yeah that's lame as fuck that's always been something that I've thought

is so corny what when dudes are like yeah bro I was fucking laying it down the other night You know how it is Shut the fuck up You're 37 The hell are you talking about I actually got some nice

Snacks last night You should have seen her dude She was begging for it What's another dude's response I know last night. No, you should have seen her, dude. She was begging for it. What's another dude's response to Puff? I know. Oh, hell yes. Dude, I'm getting horny just thinking about that. Do you mind if I jerk off right now? Yeah.

Do you mind if I touch myself? Holy shit, dude, and I bet you just fuck so well. You're describing it so good that I actually want to touch myself through the pocket of my pants right now. Do you mind? Do you mind if I nut from your memory, too? Can I put that in my spank bank? After the pocket of my pants right now. Do you mind? Do you mind if I nut from your memory too? Can I put that in my spank bank? After the age of 18, you should not talk about sex anymore.

Yeah. Once you have sex, it's like being in the end zone. Act like you've been there before. You can't be celebrating every touchdown. Dude, did you see that touchdown I just scored? Gabe Davis would never pull that shit, dude. Gabe Davis is a humble man. He scores a touchdown.

He doesn't even brag about it. Yeah. He takes you guys. Actually, I listened to the episode. I thought it was really funny when you guys talked about your time. Gabe Davis. Yeah, that shit was funny. You guys seem like you had a fucking time of your life, man.

Yeah, dude. I've been pretty good. I had like Rochester the week before that and then i did buffalo and then i did austin and then i did minneapolis and now i'm home and boy am i happy to be home you have a big brand in denver like everything was sasquatch themed out there oh yeah yeah i'm pumped to do denver i don't know when i'm doing any of those places but denver is one that i'm after boston i I'm doing Boston in early February. This guy's trying to get me

to do a meeting. Rob, I gotta tell him I can't do it now. I'll get you afterwards. I just have to finish up in here first. Freaking unbelievable. What? Is this real? No, I'm not leaving. Is this real or are you fucking with me?

unbelievable people. What? Is this real? No, I'm not leaving. Is this real or are you fucking with me? What's real? That I just said I can't do a meeting with someone else because I'm recording with you? Why are they pulling you out of the... They're not pulling me. I gotta fucking talk to someone, dude? They're not pulling me. First you start making me put

the show out on Wednesdays and now you're trying to pull me away from... Making you, dude. Yeah. You're the one who set this trend in motion because you came back after you laid on the bathroom floor in the fucking Buffalo airport for 18 hours three weeks ago. So we had to put a pin in it. It was the old me. Much more controlled now. Now you eat egg whites.

Now I eat egg whites and turkey bacon and then I drink 70 beers from thursday to saturday i have self-control now i have actually been a little bit of a health kick been eating healthy been drinking less yeah you lost about 15 pounds but that was just your haircut yeah i know dude i'm pumped i got a haircut yeah i'm so pumped you got a haircut i here got long fast yeah dude the only reason i'm on on uh this podcast with you is because you have this like heart teen heartthrob thing going and the teens stopped fucking with you dude you have a teen heartthrob thing going too i don't think my little sisters they're all of her friends in high in high school are obsessed with you that's not true they all got like posters of you on their wall i just know i spit bars like 13

too just battle rap in the mirror you got a lot of 13 year old fans dude they love battle rap they probably just know that my fucking arms are heavy and my knees weak and my palms are sweaty no they're more into like the into like the deep the deep cuts big t that's not a deep cut bro that's viral bro bro. Sharon. That's fucking... You throw me Lance or fucking Fredo. Those are deep cuts, bro. Dude, they're big Lance and Fredo fans. My 13-year-old sister came up to me and she was like,

has Roan battled Lance? I battled this dude. Roan can spit, but that guy... I mean, Lance is good I battle the dude Lance this guy Lance was just like this little like cross-eyed battle rapper

and he was like what do I gotta do to get you to battle me man like do I gotta buy buy some pizzas for your frat house like I'll pay you cash or something like that

and I was like whatever I'll do it and he just never paid me the money that he was supposed to pay me like the league was gonna pay me and then he was gonna pay me to do it'll do it. And he just never paid me the money that he was supposed to pay me. Like, the league was going to pay me, and then he was going to pay me to do it as, like, a favor. And he just, like, never paid me the money or anything. Did you smoke him?

Oh, yeah. That's probably why he didn't battle you. That's probably why he didn't pay you. I mean, he knew he was going to get smoked. He, like, asked to get smoked. He wanted to do it to, like, bump him. Yeah, he wanted to get some publicity on it. I get it.

I get it. He was cousins with Lotta Zay, bro. It was a fucking crazy time in Battle Rap, man. God damn. You know Lotta Zay's cousin from Long Branch, New Jersey? I've lived a million lives, Sash. I've been around the world twice. Met everyone once.

Shocked everyone twice. I'm a titty fucking sucker fucking motherfucking frog man. Head to toe with a frog man. A window between me and another frogman. I'm a titty sucking motherfucking truck driving son of a bitch fucking frogman. I've eaten the chicken fingers

at every comedy club and spit boogies out my nose at steakhouses in Colorado. I've sucked and fucked every motherfucking motherfucker once met everyone twice came back for thursday and i drive a motherfucking truck and i'm a goddamn frog man i i fucking dressed up like jake from state farm i dress up like jake from state farm and the tiger King I'm a Tiger King rock man I'm a Tiger King

yeah yeah yeah Jake from State Farm wearing red shirt motherfucking American yeah rock man yeah shit like that shit like that

some shit like that dude let's do two more ads I like doing ads in twos do two don't like my women single I like my chicks in twos Drake do too Don't like my women single I like my chicks in twos Drake said that one time Yeah I know bro

It may not mean nothing to y'all What is that song? Never Understand nothing No no not that one What's the one that you were just singing? I like my chicks in twos Bedrock

Ooh baby We got the same circle I've been stuck to you like glue No it's the Eminem Yes it is No it's bedrock my room is the g spot no it isn't i like my tyler tyler set him straight tyler it's an it's the little way it's right above it right above it right above it right about it right about oh fuck set me straight yeah rock is the gross may not mean nothing to y'all. That's not right above it, is it?

I think so. I want this shit forever, Maine. Care to send the building. Oh, that song's a banger. Ballers theme song. My real friends never hearing from me. Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me. They made that. I am pick and choose.

I got my shit confused. I got my shit confused. I got a small circle. I'm not with different crews. He made that whole verse about the movie Slumdog Millionaire. And like the song has lasted more than Slumdog Millionaire. That's a fucking heater.

Slumdog Millionaire, Bollywood flow. And um. Drake is the man. If you ain't running with it, run from it, motherfucker. Alright. Now somebody show some money in this bitch.

And I got my beers with me like some honey in this bitch. You dig? I got my gun in the boot purse and I don't bust back because I shoot first. Let's talk about SoCo. Let's talk SoCo.

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Click the link in the description below to see more cool stuff from SoCo. Damn, I wonder what kind of cool stuff they're talking about in that fucking... They actually just did a commercial for SoCo, so that'll be out soon. That was actually funny as fuck. That's where KB was wearing that dumbass head.

Does account size mean how much they're paying? Yeah. Damn. Shitty race. Fucking throwing that bag around. i like how you say it bro god damn shady rays oh goddamn ridge ridge wallet brother let's talk about ridge wallet it holds up to 12 cards it is an ultra slim minimalist wallet it holds up to 12 cards plus room for cash. There's over 30 colors and styles, including carbon fiber and burnt titanium. Wow. It's made with RFID blocking technology

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10% off your order. Nick has one of those Ridge Wallet key collectors, and they are mighty, mighty. I actually do want one. I was not here, though, the day that we all got one for free. Oh, yeah. They were throwing them around. I'll probably just head on over to the website and use code DAD.

10% off is a damn good deal. 10% off. I'd rather pay. Look, I'm the kind of guy that wants to pay for what he gets. I don't want anything for free. I don't like handouts. Damn. I like to support small businesses.

Me too. Like Ridge Wallet. I like businesses that could get a PPP loan. Dude, my biggest regret about the pandemic is not getting a PPP loan. Yeah. Seems like they were giving away... They were giving out a lot of cash. They were giving away billions of dollars, and you didn't have to give it back.

In retrospect, I should have just made an LLC and been like, Hey, I actually need fucking $2.4 million. Yeah, I want to get an LLC. Why don't you have one? I'm going to get one. I feel like it's a good way to expense your dinners on the road road it is you can expense everything dude if you if you're like a i don't know if i can do this because i have a full-time job but i think if your full-time job is stand-up you can expense every expense your house you know your house is where you write yeah it's your house is actually

your office yeah you can be like oh i had to buy these shoes to go on stage. Yeah. Otherwise. You literally can't. Yeah. Like I needed this outfit. It's a costume. Yeah.

I needed this costume for stage. I mean, ballerinas can get their little toe shoes expensed or whatever. I like how we're saying expense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tax. Write it off.

Yeah. Like the government's like our finance department within Barstool. Like all of your Ubers. Write off. Plane tickets. shit off hell yes well you're seeing homeless would be easy as fuck well i listened to kill tony it seems like half the people going on there like yeah i actually live in my car yeah they are they're all they all moved out to austin to like follow rogan i know he has people following him like moses in the desert i know apparently they all moved out to Austin to follow Rogan. I know. He has people following him like Moses in the desert.

I know. Apparently, his new club is almost done. It's going to be done in January. I think their New Year's Eve is the kickoff date. Apparently, it's in an old porn theater. What? No way. That's just Rogan.

What an edgelord. That guy loves porn. Yeah. There's one thing about Rogan. It's he loves porn. I heard you can still smell the nut in the room. Oh, yeah. I heard that it lingers like asbestos.

The fucking nut smell. Owen was showing me this video yesterday. I forget who the guy is that made it, but they did like a 12-hour podcast impersonating a Rogangan episode and it's so fucking funny for 12 hours yeah they're like where did we meet that guy i'm like it must have been at the store and and then they're like talking about some dude like i forget what the guy's name was like kevin or something and rogan's like dude and he was so fucking funny big too a big motherfucker

in the green room on stage he was so fucking funny kill tony's the best show in town yeah yeah yeah yeah let's say that shit over and over again it was hilarious that's funny as fuck i love a nice lampooning i hope to lampoon someone someday. I would like to lampoon. I think I got to get back on my lampoon shit. I think we got to beat someone's ass. Maybe it's this guy who's coming around with his axe. Who are these motherfuckers? All right, you crazy bastards.

Probably the good folks over at Ridge Wallet. I had to guess that's Ridge. Is that a Ridge team? Hey, my God. Send us over some burnt titanium, guys. Seriously, how about a key holder for my boy's ass? My God. Send us over some burnt titanium, guys. Seriously. How about a key holder for my boy's ass? I'm going to get a key holder for my fucking cocaine key.

I used to shoot cocaine up to my nose. Is that what you're doing in Minnesota? A lot of coke. I've been on the coke heavy these days. I know. That's what they were warning me. When I wake up, right? When I go to bed.

Francis told me that. He was like, yeah, Sass has been doing a little bit too much coke on the road. I was like, I thought he just looked skinny because he was working out. I don't think people believe that I actually don't do any drugs. I just drink a lot of alcohol. Yeah. The idea of drugs doesn't appeal to me at all. Well, you just don't see

your comedy heroes doing the drugs. So if you saw them doing it. Oh, no, I do. You would follow. Oh, you do? People are doing cocaine all the time.

Bro, in the scene? Who are your heroes that are doing cocaine? In the scene. You rat. In the scene, everyone's doing blow. You fucking rat.

Everyone's doing sniff in the scene, dude. Come on. Not me. I say, hey guys, none for me. Everyone's off the whizzer. I say, the only thing that's going up into

this snow is some good old oxygen. That's what I'm talking about. When we got to Denver, they had a canister of oxygen in my room. Oh yeah. I was just... That stuff does not work at all. I know. My heart was beating through my chest. But you guys weren't even somewhere where the altitude's that high.

Was it like 5,000 feet? It was 8,000. Oh, 8,000's pretty high. Yeah. Yeah, you might need it for that. My heart was pounding through my chest. I would just like walk down the stairs. Your hands? When I got in, my hands were tingling bad. Yeah.

Or I was just like lightheaded. Or even this morning, I was like trying to work out and I was still super lightheaded from just coming back from there. How long does that shit last? I don't know if that... I don't know if it works like that. Really? Yeah.

Might just be sick. I think as soon as you get back to sea level you're fine i know i think i had uh like post traumatic stress disorder from the high altitude you know i was at 11 000 feet in telluride and oh boy that was bad always got a one-up me says yep jesus christ actually at the peak it's like 14 000 and that was like my buddy was like trying to go up to the top. And I was like, hey, man, I can't do this. I was like, I'm going to die. Have you seen that new Netflix documentary about the dudes that were climbing Everest? Everest and the earthquake?

I started it. Yeah. It's kind of fucked. It is fucked. But it's kind of sweet, though. Yeah, it's cool. I started it. I haven't really made much progress.

I've been in a big, always sunny kick as of late. In Philadelphia? Yeah. Really? I mean, I've seen the made much progress. I've been in a big Always Sunny kick as of late. In Philadelphia? Yeah. Really? I mean, I've seen the show, obviously. But it's so fucking funny. I know. The one dude went to the same high school as me.

Which one? Mac. Mac. Macadelic. Yeah. Do we ever go to Mac's Tavern in Philly? No. We went to the one next to it.

We went to Patty's. Patty's. But we didn't go to to Max Tavern on... No. We went to the one next to it. We went to Patty's. Patty's. We didn't go to Max Tavern. Max is the one that he owns. I was under 21 then. But Patty's is the one it's based on. Yeah. I was under 21 and they...

Dude, I can't believe I was going out with you while you were under 21 getting multiple IDs taken. It was all your fault too. You got three... Yeah, because I... I was like, I don't know if this bar is going to let me in. There's 17 security guards and there's a line i was like usually that's all the signs of not getting in with a fake id and you were like dude you're gonna be fine and then i and then i would go and get humiliated humiliated well the one guy slapped the fuck out of you and i thought that was

a little bit much hard up and then i call row and i'm like hey dude uh i'm outside still it's like oh okay we're probably gonna going to have a couple. Just stay there. Just sit outside. We'll be out in a little bit. We'll just have a couple beers. I'm a little bit cold. Pub and chain smoke. I was like, well, just how about that sweatshirt I bought you?

Why don't you just throw that on? No, I would never. I'd rather freeze to death. I know. And wear that sweatshirt. That beautiful orange sweatshirt. I was walking around yesterday after the wet wheel soaked. And you still didn't take it. Asking if anyone had a sweatshirt. That beautiful orange sweatshirt. I was walking around yesterday after the wet wheel soaked. And you still didn't take it.

Asking if anyone had a sweatshirt I could borrow. And you had that one on your desk. And I was like, I'm not putting that one on. You're such a piece of shit, dude. You're a literal piece of shit. I said I'd rather walk around shirtless than wear that sweatshirt. Someone sent me a picture of you shirtless. That can't be.

You want me to show you it? What is it? A picture that I posted already? No. A picture of me shirtless? It was from like across the street and you're in your bedroom by the window. I don't like that at all. Is that real? Yeah. I guess they like

fucking were watching you or something like that. They were like watching you from afar or some shit like that. I don't know. Let me find it. I saw too much. If that's real, I'm going to lose my fucking shit. Yeah, dude, I have that picture. It's on my Instagram. Yeah, well.

I look fucking jacked in it. I know. Why don't you just run with that picture? You look like you're so scared to fucking pose shirtless. Because in that one, I was the most jacked I've ever been. Why don't you're so scared to fucking post pose shirtless because in that one i was the most jacked i've ever been why don't you just get back to that jacked because i'm covered in a rash right now all over my body and every time i work out it it explodes into multiples every every bump multiples into multiplies into another one you have body dysmorphia but so do i no dude this is not body i'm covered in a rash what do you not understand

people are like they can't understand this some dudes DMing me yesterday and he's like dude you really want to take your shirt off because you have a fucking rash it's like dude it's not like it's not like I have a little eczema on my shoulder my entire torso is covered in like blisters

and red bumps I can't believe that it stopped where your shirt stopped. It doesn't go on the face. That's insane. I know. That's so lucky. I know. It doesn't go on the face.

It doesn't go on the hands. It really doesn't go below the torso. That's so lucky. It's going away. It's like the excuse rash for never having to take your shirt off. Yeah. It kind of sucks because i i it sucks because i i got prescribed this like prescription cream steroid cream and then like this like prescription claritin and it like started going away claritin the allergy medicine yeah

just help with the itching uh and uh and it started going away and then i kind of like eased up on everything like i'm supposed to moisturize twice a day take cold showers like all that and i kind of eased up on and i was getting back into the hot showers it wasn't i was missing my claritin wasn't using the steroid cream and then it exploded when i was in austin it was probably the worst it's ever been by that heat down there the humidity or maybe the bats the heat actually helps it or the heat doesn't help it but the sun helps it a lot. Oh, and you don't get any sunlight in New York. Nope.

Yeah, it's like sometimes the sun scares the fuck out of me. Yeah. I'm like a day walker during the day. Like I walked into a patch of sun and it fucking like, it like closed my eyes. I know. It was too much.

It sucks. I know. Did you see that after today, the sun is not going to set? Yeah, I don't even want to do this, to set after six o'clock until March 12th. So depressing. That's literally like you have to sign up for five full months of depression. It sucks so much, dude.

I'm just going to be, I've just been walking home in the dark listening to some Springsteen. Like a working man. What kind of songs? You know, the working men are walking home. With your hard hats. Yeah. Just in a line. I mean,

working men do eat egg sandwiches. Yeah. It is the sandwich I told you. I'm in the deli every morning with the working men

and we're all pissed off ordering our egg sandwiches. When I was a young boy. Boss! I asked for no sesame seeds. Boss! Some kid came into the store today and did that. Was he serious?

Yeah. I mean, New York accents on... Boss! And he's like my age. I was like, what the fuck? Your sandwich is fire. Yeah. No.

I forget what he asked for. He asked for something. But he literally... There's too much tomatoes. Boss! I didn't ask for lettuce. Boss, I said no lettuce! That's the New York accent.

They're actually all snakes. Yeah. Boss! It is awesome, though, being in there. You got to get in there early and start hanging out With the construction workers I know We're brawling

Cause we're all pumped up On our fucking Sugar free Red Bulls And they're all We're all trying to slim down They're all like wearing cool Or just like a nice pair of jeans Yeah

With like their fucking Big ass upper bodies Their fucking homophobia That will never leave them Oh no They'll pass down To their children We go in Kanye was actually On to something Yeah fucking homophobia that will never leave them. Oh no. They'll pass down to their children.

We go in and... Kanye was actually on to something. Yeah. And we're usually just talking Bruce. We're talking Springsteen. What songs have you been listening to? Jungleland. What's a lyric that sticks out to you? The Rangers had a homecoming

in Harlem late last night. What the fuck does that, what does he even mean by that? Is that a, nevermind. I thought it was Will Smith's wife. I think it is. No, isn't that Willow? It's Jada. What a vibe.

Isn't that Willow? Oh, it can't be. I'm like pretty sure it is. No, it's not. She has a shaved head too. No, it's not. She has alopecia. Will Smith would slap the fuck. Oh, but Willow sure it is no it's not she has a shaved head too what's not she has alopecia willis would slap the phobo willow has no willow has a shaved head dude that's not her yes it is it's not you think who the fuck is where is she going who's coming in to go on tico texas

oh is that where they're going yes okay talk about hijacking a look oh that's definitely not willow Okay. Talk about hijacking a look. Ooh, that's definitely not Willow. Why? She's in her goth era. Yeah, but that girl's kind of in her goth era too. Maybe are you coming for the ride? Yeah.

There's only more goth in a trench coat. Slit wrists. Trench coat, bro. You know what that means? Guns under there. Yeah, or a skirt. If you wear a skirt, that means you have the 45 under there. That young thug. Yeah. You got a stick under your dress.

Wears a dress to get made fun of only to shoot people with the AK hit under a said dress. Only to get caught on a Rico charge. Speaking of Rico, free Sioux surf. Gotta free the homies. Yeah, they're locking up everyone. Future got locked up too didn't he he has a case building against him I guess

they better not take Future from me they better not get J Prince I'm just kidding I'm fine with them taking Future oh no you did not just say that as long as I got Cody and Crazy I'm good no bro you want them to lock up Hendrix bro no

sounds like you do you just said you wouldn to lock up Hendrix, bro? No. It sounds like you do. You just said you wouldn't care if Hendrix got locked up, dude. No, I would definitely care. You're a piece of shit. I've been in the top 0.1% of future listeners for three years straight. That's hilarious. Because I think Coley was also in that. You definitely have...

I think that's a lie. Those are lies. Because I'm in the top... I was top 0.01% of Bob Dylan listeners. Which I feel like a lot of people listen to Bob Dylan. But you fucking love him, Zazz. Yeah, but a lot of people do. He's your fave.

And you listen a lot. You're always walking home. I'm listening to music. Bro, I'm a big music guy. I'm kind of a music junkie. I would describe myself as a road junkie and a music junkie. Yeah, and an egg junkie. And an egg junkie. I like eggs.

You love the whites. I'm just always on the road crushing eggs. Yeah, loving the whites. Listening to Dylan. I saw that Francis threw his name in the ring for Dave Portnoy's new show. I saw that too. Fuck. You thinking about throwing your name in there ring for Dave Portnoy's new show. I saw that too. Fuck. You thinking about throwing your name in there?

Because I threw it in for you. No. I emailed Dave and I said, Roan. I said, Roan needs another podcast. I emailed Dave and Gaz and I said, I want to be the one person whose name is not on this list. But I heard Dave might want to do it for you. He said it would get numbies. Did he really?

Yeah. He said that him and Sass would get numbies together. Me and Dave would break the internet. People aren't ready for that fucking. I feel like you have to know so much about Barstool. Like, you have to know, like, what this person's, like, significance.

Like, Eddie would always be like, yeah, like, this guy's, like, working on this thing. It's like, how do you even know that? That's just because they've been here for so long. How long has Eddie been here? Eight years?

I don't know, nine years or some shit. So crazy, dude. I can't imagine being at a company for that long. Yeah, you can't imagine doing anything for that long because you were fucking- Yeah, that's half my- The longest thing you've ever done is go to grade school. Yeah. The only thing you've ever done is be alive.

I can't imagine what that's like. And even then, that's been a struggle. Yeah. Jesus, dude. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. Start making some more fucking money moves. I got to talk to E. I know we need to fucking cake up. I got to talk to E, dude. Did you see that Wallows original video of him being like, yeah, out of the penitentiary three days ago. Got me pumped. Here's my thousand

dollars that I got. I'm going to turn this into $1,000, into $100,000, into $1,000,000, into $10,000,000. Yeah, that was crazy. And now he's actually rich. Now he's actually rich as fuck. And he keeps on being like, if I can do it,

you can do it too. I kind of believe him. You do? Yeah. I actually believe that you can do it. But I don't believe that a lot of people could do it. I don't think it's as attainable as he's making it seem to everybody else. Yeah could do it i don't think it's as attainable as he's making it seem to everybody else yeah you're right i think it's more attainable

than what he's even saying yeah and he's letting on text your dad ask for a forty thousand dollar loan spend 20 years in jail let that interest compound the entire time by the time you're out of the clink ka-ching here's a good way to uh make a million dollars text your dad and ask a million dollars jesus christ dude uh you people don't know how to use their resources you get too drunk get a dui and then sue the place that gave you the dui for more money than you got on the dui it's genius you just have to sue the person that over served you that's the only way that is what people do all the time people sue bars for over serving people yeah and that's why corporate

fucking restaurants have like a three drink max do they? yeah like Chili's and stuff like that it sucks cause they're getting sued so much? I went to a Chili's and uh in my hometown with my boys and we all got one we all got two drinks and she was like you're cut off

and we were like yeah because you look like your dads are lawyers no we were like we were like oh if it means anything like none of us are driving home litigious if it means anything yeah like none of us are driving home and she was like it doesn't matter she's like you're done and then apparently that's like i didn't know that was like a thing at corporate places. Yeah, I didn't realize that that was why either. That because people are suing the fuck out of them. You got to go to the divy spot where you can smoke cigarettes inside. That's where you can really run it up.

Yeah, that's, you get fucking blacked out. That's how you get blacked out. The bartender doesn't even check your name. She's got cocaine falling out of her nose. Yeah, that's fucking nuts. Fucking, it was a full mountain. Like, it was like a pile of... So gross, dude. It was foul.

You know, likey. Yeah. I was about to beat her ass, but then I realized that equality doesn't extend to fistfights. Nah. What are we at, Tyler? 76. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Get the hell out of here. Willow. All right, guys. Well, this has been a fucking blast. Get the hell out of here. Willow. Alright, guys. Well, this has been a fucking blast. We'll be back next week. With more Son of a Boy Dad. More Son of a Boy Dad. So, if you like the show, make sure you just drop a like. Make sure you drop a subscribe. Subscribe. Leave a comment. Make sure you leave a comment.

Make him nice, too. I read him. I read them all. Make him nice. His mental health is going to really hinge on whether these are nice comments or not. And we'll see you guys next week. Thanks for listening. Peace.