Son of a Boy Dad - Haunted Smelly Shit | Son of a Boy Dad #128

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

Haunted Smelly Shit | Son of a Boy Dad #128 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. son of a boy dad podcast today it is tuesday august 16th 15th uh we're continuing our banger tour of guests today we have on owen owen what really happened with oh man but yeah we had a guest today but they had a uh last second emergency so they couldn't make it what can you do what can you fucking do but whatever we have a lot of shit to talk about do the shit ourselves per usual for example i shit myself yesterday really yeah i i shit my pants yesterday not like a little bit but a lot yeah when i emptied the clip

when did that happen as i got back from california damn that sucks i had like an hour and 20 minute drive from jfk and like we this woman with she just found a way to hit every bump on the road that's what happened to me when I was just coming back from Long Island it's crazy it's going around dude was texting and driving the whole time

and she was finding every red light too she was just like really slow up she could have gone through it she'd come up to a yellow first off was supposed to be a man

was a woman driving clicking her nails singing in Spanish the entire time I have no problem with that get me to my destination so I don't shit myself yeah so you see yourself in the uber in the elevator on my i got home i was like my i'm mind over matter that's crazy i'm like un i was like it's my it's my own butthole bro i have this shit on a fucking you know what i mean it's like a

manhole cover sealed tight yeah there's no way that any shit's coming out of this ass. I told myself that over and over. I must look so uncomfortable. And there was a guy waiting for the elevator. I fucking shit. It just happened, dude. And it was all this shit. That's crazy. It was so crazy.

Was your wife home? No, she got home afterwards. I was like, don't come in here. I just shit myself in the elevator like it was gonna be like cute and funny and she was disgusted yeah so nothing funny or like fucking like endearing about that just didn't look at me not too surprising uh clogged the toilet too clogged the toilet in the new apartment as i'm like cleaning my ass the folds underneath my ass cheeks had like shit in them that's disgusting it was so fucking preposterous dude it's crazy i'd never had felt

anything like that dude it was must have felt good though that sweet release nope no more like deep shame right away just like how is this happening to me at least it happened there this didn't happen in the uber i know it was close to i was about to pull there there's a time when i saw a patch of grass on the side of the road i almost had her pull over so i could speak in the i was about to hit her with some spanish bro she wasn't that's crazy dude it was explosive that's i need that right now i'm backed up big time. Are you? I haven't shit since just little shits, like not successful ones. It was because I started taking a new supplement called L-Lysine, and I didn't even know that it would be like,

or they were like, oh, yeah, but watch out for the diarrhea that comes with it. And sure enough, bro. Why are you taking that? Just because. Yeah, just you never know. You never know if you're going to need L-Lysine. Yeah. Yeah, I got a big one brewing right now.

I'm pumped to go home. I hope for you to get it out, dude. I was kind of nervous going to play golf today because I was like, I don't know if this is going to be a thing. White pants and all that. Yeah. No, I was just wearing these pants. Were you? Yeah, I showed up in this exact outfit and they were like, we got to get you a shirt or something.

It's a big dog shirt, collared. It's a collared shirt. I didn't think it would be a big deal. Yeah, but most golf courses have a rule against layering do they you can't wear the shirt underneath it i wore a shirt underneath and they made me a fucking medium shirt really yeah you squeezed into a medium it fit fine but i was like is this you guys have anything bigger and they're like no that's your size buddy yeah i was like don't give me a fucking medium yeah give me an l exactly well these b cups don't fit in a medium yeah what the fuck are you talking about but uh

well you were golfing with uh frankie frankie barelli yes well how was that it was very fun i heard you uh well i don't want to say what you you hit i don't want to say what your score was it wasn't great i mean i didn't buy i heard it was really good no francis was lying it wasn't good it wasn't that score it wasn't good it wasn't good it's a it was really good. No, Francis was lying. It wasn't good. It wasn't that score or it wasn't good? It wasn't good. It's a hard course and I haven't played golf in a year and a half. Before that, it was probably four years since I played or three years. You're more of a fishing guy.

More of a fishing guy. But it was fun. It was really fun. Yeah, it sounds fucking... I had a good time. Sounds elite. Frankie's good too. And hilarious.

Yeah, I didn't know Frankie played in high school. Oh, did he? Yeah. I don't think I knew that either. Yeah. He drives the fuck out of the ball, though, right? Yeah. Better than you?

Yeah. A little bit. I don't really use driver. I didn't really go driver. I went irons almost the whole time. It's crazy because he has no muscles on his body. Yeah, he's got a big... He's got a big...

He hit the ball. He got a big hit the ball. We should have him on the podcast, though. Was he funny? Was he funny hanging out with him? Yeah him yeah it was a good time and then we got food after and trent was there trent didn't do the video with me because he had to go out and do breaking 90 right after so frankie had to do the nine holes with me and then they had to go right we got food and then they were going right back out to play 18 more damn yeah that sucks yeah but also uh the best job in the world yeah i was saying that but i was also like um

it was oh fuck i forget what i was gonna say yeah it was nice i mean it's a it's definitely a good gig that they got going there and they're making a bunch of money doing it and they're those videos do really well they said that the breaking 90 videos are getting like 500k an episode that's where we should do breaking 90 now we can't steal that what i feel like that's kind of the thing you're supposed to steal we were tossing some ideas around post post match and what they say i was saying that they should do um you're giving the the people that get 500 000 views an episode uh ideas well they were talking about post when what when because they think that trend might break 90 today oh yeah yeah and i was

like what's the plan after because they're not going to do breaking 80 that's fucking impossible that's insane uh that's like you'd be really good if trent just wants it making the pga tour if you're hitting in the 70s you're a very good golfer but uh, I would say that they should try doing something like a par three course and see if they can like break par at a par three course. I think that'd be cool. That is a great idea. Yeah. Did they give us any ideas?

No, that's what I was going to say. They were saying that they might for the next one, they're going to do, they might make it just a series, just break, breaking, breaking 90. Right. Or breaking a hundred and just have like someone else from barstool continuously do it until they break it. And so maybe you, no, I don't know if I would do that.

I don't know if I had, it's a lot, it's a lot to go out there every fucking day. Yeah. It's far. How far was it? It's like an hour and a half. Yeah.

That sucks. Yeah. But, uh, I mean, they are a lucrative, a lucrative brand. And,

uh, now the pen doesn't know in barstool, now that barstow is worth one dollar i feel like yeah dude they actually said that that that uh that the pen stuff actually impacted them a lot how just with like it's like a sports thing they had to be careful about what they said there's certain stuff that they can't say while golfing i feel like people around here are like finally we can fucking say shit again no one here is doing is gonna do anything that they couldn't do before i know there's not a single thing it's like people who go to the gym

on new year's yeah it's like you could have gone to the gym on new year's eve like there's no there's no difference it shouldn't be a difference but it's like a sketch with swastikas in it and pen was like cool fine with us and the and the sketches that you didn't put out were probably it's not because of pen no none of none of it was because of pen it was because like you're like oh that this will negatively affect my entire career from from here from this moment forward yeah i don't i didn't think any i don't think i don't think pen was holding anyone back as much as people are putting as i'm sure dave i'm sure dave was probably held back and big cat maybe but i don't feel like i feel like Big Cat does whatever he wants.

Yeah, well, he had to drop that parlay, right? The can't lose parlay. That's just because he was getting sued for millions of dollars. Yeah, yeah. He could still do whatever he wants. And I guess Dave, if he was pretty much directly controlling the stock, if he was on his best behavior or not. Right?

Was he being a naughty boy? Yeah, so now he can do whatever. He can fuck all he wants he's got like security cameras all over his house set up like a fucking prison just to catch him if he fucks anywhere yeah immediate publish yeah 100 it's just live i i just uh the day after like when he got sold and had like the company meeting and like how everybody was like hanging out with their like feet up on the fucking desks afterwards i was just like man i can't wait till the next boy dad so we could it was just like yeah i mean people celebrating like i don't know nothing really i mean i guess

the only thing that changed for us is that we get to keep our jobs that's pretty big but i think that's a pretty big one no i don't know nothing really i mean i guess the only thing that changed for us is that we get to keep our jobs that's pretty big but i think that's a pretty big one no i don't even oh did he yeah i didn't even see that i have no idea i didn't see i wasn't here i was i was in a meeting i was in like a uh a one-on-one meeting and uh as the meeting started and i heard like oh a whoop like uh like it sounded like houston when a rocket goes off like when i thought we were spacex when a successful launch goes off i thought we were getting fired i like had my notes open because they were like no recording the no recording the meeting didn't you say that yeah yeah and i was like ready to take notes to be like all right this is what i

got to figure out and then the meeting was 10 seconds long as dave just being like so i bought back barstool it's like dude if anything all of our jobs just got harder yeah that's all that means he's coming in every everybody like scream laughing got shit face drunk and then was so hung over the next day that they couldn't come in to get yelled at and then they all got screamed at you couldn't be there on time just to get yelled at yeah that was like i was i had a pretty good thing going when dave wasn't here also i don't know who's keeping their jobs dude that shit might not be guaranteed either no i don't know i i might be chopping motherfuckers left and right i heard that it was like we were all getting chopped what do you mean after the after the meeting no but if penn's kept barstool although everybody who wasn't sports gambling is getting was getting tired yeah it was like that was the plan and like

that's why big cat was like you should probably go to chicago just just a note you want to be in that because big cat's orbit is a strong one in the gambling world yeah but uh kb yeah maybe we were just maybe it was just written in the stars that we're just going to get fired no matter what. Maybe. Who knows? We'll get chopped either side of it that we're on. What can you do?

It is fucking interesting though. Maybe we put together like 10, 20 bucks, we buy it ourselves. Yeah, totally. I got $100 in my pocket right now. Hey, Portnoy, what if I told you you could make 100X what you just paid for Barstool? The best deal ever. Yeah. Did you see Dave's Twitter?

Howard Stern's never going to believe this. Have you ever seen someone make 100x for their company's valuation in three days? Yeah, that was fucking crazy. It was a preposterous. People were so, people really acted like there was like like the world was going to end and then like they like staved off the meteorite that was going to like crash into barstool yeah i mean dude we talked about it when i called you i was like it's the equivalent to when elon musk bought twitter and tweeted comedy is now legal there has not been a single thing that

no one's been allowed to say on Twitter ever. Twitter's been the app where you can like post porn. You can post crazy shit. Like racism, homophobia. It never mattered. Nothing. It's like the only thing that's changed is that now you just see videos of people dying constantly. That's what comedy is.

Finally, you can see death again. Yeah. You can see death on your feed, not intending to see it But it's good I'm happy for Dave Yeah? On a personal level On a personal level, yeah As a friend

More than a co-worker Yeah, I heard that He wanted to take you out to dinner Instead of Nate But you You tried Yeah You're like, no, enjoy this one yourself, man

Yeah, this one's on you You earned it, man Baguettes Go get a baguette, brother Classic baguettes go get a baguette classic stuart's bag go get a baguette enjoy yourself man you can finally say

baguette again yeah it's a preposterous time it's just it's also funny in we're just

all of New York just everybody who's staying in New York seems like they're like seem like last week Nate was like, I'm worried about the future of this office. And then this week it's like, we're fucking savages out here.

Yeah, I don't really know. I don't really know what's going to happen. I don't know. I mean, it seems like the New York office seems to be doing good. We've been getting more credit. There's been more meetings where people are like, yeah, I actually didn't realize that son of a boy that does pretty good numbies like i thought they sucked yeah there's been a lot of that there's been a lot of i thought they actually sucked dick and yeah

there was that yeah but you see that that like uh revenue estimation that someone posted uh of like all i guess it was like in the it was in some sort of write-up with the pen deal it was all based off of i don't think people realize it was based off of social was in some sort of write-up with the pen deal it was all based off of i don't think people realize it was based off of social clip numbers it said that our podcast estimated estimated revenue is 800 to 11 000 a year really wait 800 000 to 11 000 no 800 dollars that's not true no that's what that's what i was was like, dude, if that was the case, yeah. I was like, if we were making $800 a year, we would not be working here? Oh, my God.

It also said that Bussin' with the Boys got 17 million views last month, and that their estimated revenue was $800,000. And I was like, well, first of all, they did not get – I mean, they'd do well, but 17 million views. That's what I was saying. It's all they did not get i mean they'd do well but 17 million views that's what i was saying it's all social it's all clips and also if they're making if they're getting 17 million views a month their revenue is way more than 800 000 a year i know there's so many weird metrics that we're like i can't tell what's the report card thing that we get says that they're like oh son of a boy a boy, that was down 40% this month. But then you look at the actual views and we're above. I know. We're above average.

It's because the social team has a one-size-fits-all approach to every podcast. It doesn't make any sense. And so they want six posts a day from us. It genuinely makes no sense. Six posts, six reels a day and three stories a day. You can't volume shoot the funny stuff. Yeah. Now,

like keep in mind, the shorts can be like one second long. It's like, why? Yeah. What's the point? Just cut me saying bag it.

Yeah. There's no revenue in Instagram reels, is there? Not Instagram, but like YouTube, you can make a bunch of money. Yeah.

I don't know. It just seems the rules are going to change like next week and then we we're gonna be yelled at for not doing the rules that like we didn't know about next week yeah I think we gotta just be like hey this is our plan to do it what do you guys think of this plan we just need to come up with a plan and tell them that instead of just being like we're gonna need you to do the exact same thing part of my take does they have three three they have three hour and a half episodes a week yeah it's also like dude if we were putting out 180 reels a month i don't think anyone gives a fuck

about this but if we were putting out 180 reels a month how would that's that we would be clipping every second of our episodes yeah it's crazy our four 60 minute episodes it's insane this conversation about clipping oh yeah 100 a meta 100%. I'm going to clip. Whoa. That just really pissed me off seeing that. I know. I just woke up and I was looking at it and it was like F on face. But we didn't hit our 210 Facebook posts this month.

It's like, what the fuck? No, that's literally the number. In our defense, we did that four. Yeah, we had four Facebook posts. Which is in the same ballpark. Yeah. I'm confident that the podcast will get big and we won't have to do any of that shit. Yeah, it wouldn't just freak out like real time.

Yeah, I just don't understand. Subscribe to YouTube for sure. The YouTube shorts are doing well. Those are getting a lot of subscribers. Our long-term vision is pure. The short-term ones. If it was my ideal world and we didn't have to follow any of these rules i would we would record the episode post one clip and say

the episode is out now yeah that would be it yeah because there are people who just completely consume podcasts via clips yeah oh yeah i listen to that pod it's like no you see the clips on yeah i don't think this podcast is a very clippable podcast. Whatever. People might not care about this, but they definitely care about your show in Philly this past weekend. Yeah. We already talked about that. That also. When did we?

Yeah. It was. CK? Chappelle? Philly was fun. Yeah. Philly was a good time. All of them came up.

So you could say who your special guest was now. Yeah. Shane did the shows. It was cool. It was fucking sick. It was very funny. He asked you if he could come on your shows. It wasn't as much of an ask as it was a tell no he did he asked he asked what was that conversation like well because i did his show in astoria the week before and he was like

i'm gonna be in philly can i do time on the shows he's like i'm gonna come and i was like yeah of course and uh it was fun he did? What's the club in Astoria? It's Grove 34 Studio, I think. It's very small. It's like 30 people. Why did he do a show there? Just to like work out new stuff. That's fucking nuts.

It was really cool. It was me. It was me, Joe List, and Shane. I got off and I was like, damn, I just killed. Did you think you did? Joe Listist went up and i was like i don't even know what killing is i was like i'm not even in the realm of like dude those guys are so fucking good yeah joelist is a machine yeah it's just like dude they're they're getting laughs the entire time yeah it was great it was really fun and luckily we had a host i was gonna have to cold open but then the guy that was running it was like can i host and i was like i didn't even let chan answer i was like yeah you can host so why did he want you to come to the show because you're

you're free yeah he was just like he's like are you around but like you're free also like he didn't have to pay you i don't think he paid anybody oh bet bet bet that and he just probably didn't have to pay you. I don't think he paid anybody. Oh, bet, bet, bet. And he just probably didn't want to travel far or some shit. For what? What are you, what are we referring to?

The Astoria show? Yeah. Oh yeah. That was just like a 10 minute spot on like a Wednesday. It's just sick. I don't know. Just fucking. Yeah.

What's up tech guy, Andrew. No worries, brother. An absolute fucking pleasure. Tech guy. Andrew was fourth in the office or he was like a 18th in, That guy, Andrew, was fourth in the office. He was like 18th in running for president of the office.

He got 18th most votes. Oh, shit. Really? Where was I at? Like 12th or something. You want to be president of this podcast? Oh, absolutely. Fuck yeah.

Say less. We got an ally on our side. Appreciate you, brother. Thank you. Appreciate it. Yeah, you were 12th or something. Really? fuck yeah say less we got an ally on our side appreciate you brother thank you appreciate it yeah you were 12th or something really yeah i got votes yeah i got people voting for me yes that's crazy why because they like you brother how would they ever vote for me king of new york type of shit who voted can you see who voted for me is it all anonymous uh it's i'd love to take names i think it's anonymous but i might be able to to hack the mainframe i might be able to get to the bottom yeah see if you can buy pay yeah see

if you can bypass the mainframe i'll see if i can it's gonna be but we might need to do a recount though a recount yeah i mean if i if i hack into the mainframe and find out that there's some skulldudgery going on oh yeah voting. Or like hanging chads or whatever. Yeah. Somebody said Tommy was using vice avoid. I could definitely see him like... Tommy was using a VPN. This means...

You could tell this means so much to Tommy Smokes. Oh, yeah. 100%. And that's why I wanted to lose so bad because I just need to see that man depressed. Who was top two? Tommy and Keegs? Yeah, Tommy and Keegs. And then Meek, Phil. Meek.

And Frank. Meek, Marty, Frank, and Rico. That was the top six. And then by the time this comes out, it'll be down to three. Damn. It's interesting. And then by Thursday, we'll have a new press. And are they going to be like, are they going to have any sort of...

They're going to jack it. Oh, okay. Cool. With no responsibilities. All right. Bragging rights, though. Cool. With no responsibilities. All right. Bragging rights, though. Bragging rights, totally. For a year or until next week when we try and do it again.

Yeah, that'll be fun. Yeah. Employee of the month. See? That's crazy. Now, that's the idea. Did Foreplay give you that? No, Foreplay.

We were having a real brainstorming session. You were? Really just getting down to it. What was Riggs saying? Riggs wasn't there. We did talk Riggs for a little bit. Yeah, love rigs what was it like foreplay rigs rigs wasn't there what was the talk talking rigs oh nothing but fucking flowers and rainbows brother he's a fucking legend yeah it was fun though those guys are cool yeah that is cool as hell

um it seemed like your nights in Philly were awesome though. It was. It was the first night. I want to see what you said to me. No, I don't remember what I said. No, it was positive. I think I said you should have been there. Yeah.

Because it was fun. I mean, it was like everyone was there. No, don't put that out. Well, I just don't know. I think I was drunk and I was probably like, I fucking miss you so much, dude. I wish you were here. I'll give you verbatim bummer your gay ass is here genuinely such a fun city though this is the best city i've performed in back to back yeah it is i mean it's that club is amazing yeah it's just even like going to like the site like looking at it from

i mean i don't know i don't need to get into the architecture of the club i know it's a it's a it's a really good club. And the staff is great. And the people that all came were great. Who were you hanging out with, though? The first night. Well, who else was on the show? You had full shows every night?

It was me, Gardini, and Mook. And then Shane did a guest spot on Thursday. Legend. And then Friday, it was me, Gardini, Mook. And then LaMare and Shane O'Connor did a guest spot on the Late Show Alright everybody, let's talk about Game Time, the exclusive ticket partner of

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set yeah i've been there for like an hour and 45 minutes yeah those are thirsty boys they were shit faced by the end of my set yeah i've been there for like an hour and 45 those are thirsty boys they were hammered did you get drunk before the shows no but you got drunk after the show yeah big time hell yes yeah yeah no yeah i didn't really drink at all before i would have like maybe one beer and then um and then friday was very fun. It was Spud and Billy came. You go to the Barstool Bar? We did, yeah. Those boys love the Barstool Bar. Yeah, I know.

And I was like, why the hell are we going to the Barstool Bar? They have a standing reservation. They have a table every Thursday. I know, dude. They get their own table. Yeah. We're right this way, Mr. Spud. Yeah, we got.

And it was it was a it was a humbling experience going to the bar owned by the company that i've worked for for four years and having to be like i'm with shane gillis he's in the back is it okay if i come in now you need to meet the bouncers there yeah i know if you're gonna be a philly guy you gotta meet noah the head bouncer yeah he's the man yeah they're i mean they were all great as soon as they like mook as soon as I got the MOOC approval, they let me in. Is that what it was?

Yeah, he runs. You know him? Do you know this guy? He runs Philadelphia. Where'd you guys eat while you were out there? Nowhere really. Just like places right near our hotel. Yeah, there's going to be MOOC fest next year.

Yeah. It's him and Gilly running. Just me and Gilly being like, I used to pray for times dude i was telling i was talking about this on the yak yesterday but we everywhere you go with mook he did these guys taxes these all these like like not i don't want to call them sketchy guys because they're all like nice as fuck they're sketchy guys sketchy guys yeah sketchy nice guys and mook did their taxes for years like would go there and get all the files and do the taxes and now you go with that you go i went with mook to all these stores

and he's like i gotta go say hi to all these people and they're all like dude they literally they're like if you they're like if you're a friend of mook you're a friend of mine and then they're like if you need he must have done some something insane something insane he knows something terrible yeah he was like they do guys coming up to me literally being like if you ever need anything you call me you let me know that you're a friend of mook yeah the fact that he he was like i need to go talk to these people it's hilarious yeah he made me yeah he gave me a little tour of south street you went to south street you go to fat tuesdays gym steaks no we literally went to went to this we went to this vintage wrestling place

yeah a card shop and a vintage clothing store but apparently it's all owned by the same two dudes interesting and he did like he did like all their taxes you get any free shit no they offered to give me free stuff but i was like i don't really need anything i have a very specific taste in clothing yeah i was like these shirts are a little thinner than i used to can you sew these two shirts together on top of each other so i can wear them simultaneously yeah damn that's such a fucking i wish i was there yeah it was fun saturday was super fun saturday the barstool bar was fun um the shows were great the saturday late show was the one the one that i had i think i had a tough time following shane on that one yeah because the crowd was not it was it was like that one was they probably knew by

then he was going to be there that's what uh brian six was there and he was like all these people waited outside and then went back in to watch shane again from the early show what yeah so so it was a lot of that and then uh i I don't know. It was fine. All the shows were great. Damn. That's kind of sick, though. Yeah. You had a great weekend. You're in a pretty good spot in your career, I'd say. Yeah.

Genuinely, like a really, really fun time. I wonder how much this podcast plays into you being popular in Philly. I know. That's what I said. You think so? Yeah. Fuck, man. I remember doing the shows with you last year, and they sucked.

They were terrible. Yeah. They didn't actually suck. I thought they were really good and funny, but the fact that you feel like it's this much better, keep growing, brother. Well, I'm sure next year I'll go back, and I'll be like, I can't believe how bad I was last year. I know.

I can't believe I let these fucking jabronis open for me. Imagine you going to Shane at Forest Hills. You're like, hey, I'm going to jump on. I'm going to do shane at like forest hills you're like hey i'm gonna jump on i'm gonna do five right here it's a stadium but i'm just gonna do a quick 10th at the front i'm just working through some i'm working on some new shit really would love to just go in front of a crowd that's not mine it's a good test for me i'll kill i will kill but it's probably good and healthy for me to do that dude gardini every single night we would do the shows. We would drink a lot of beer and then Gardini and Mook would take Jameson shots.

And then they would take shots the whole night. The whole like, like lots of shots and beers. Like I've never seen people take this many shots. And then they would eat buffalo bites. And then Gardini would text me in the morning and be like, dude dude i think i have a tapeworm or some shit my stomach is so fucked and i'm like yeah dude it probably has to do with the fake chicken that you're eating and the 10 whiskey shots you had last night yeah you're like doing pearl harbor on your ass every fucking day and he'd be like dude i something is so wrong with my stomach and i'm like no

you're hung over probably on the lysine yeah he's probably on everything we got a lysine i would have thought that i fucking it felt like i think it was because i had malt beverage the night before too dude i like to stay away from those malts what'd you drink uh it was some like competitor malt beverage it was the only one that they had at the uh at the rap battles that i was at yeah how was that that looked awesome it was fucking fun as hell it was extremely awesome just like so you were out in l.a for that but you were no i was in l.a for pap ev and then i flew to oakland for that that's awesome oakland's like the hub of a lot of battle rap stuff from back in the day interview with the dad was hilarious yeah that was cool yeah this one girl brought her dad to a fucking she was like a uh like a alt like brooklyn comic type of thing where it's just like you kind of

like listen you're like like yeah i get it like you kind of like show that you got like the weird joke by like a little bit of a giggle but she was going up against this dude who was like just like he destroyed her it was like perfect it was like going up against like a new york mainstream comic yeah uh like he was just fucking killing her she was like a vegan he's like if you are what you eat you're an industry plant just like all that this funny ass shit bro he was just absolutely her name was coleslaw and he's like fuck you just proved coleslaw is like 90 mayonnaise he was just like doing so fucking well against her yeah and then they like i don't know how he knew that the dude would be there but her dad was just like standing on stage with like his hands on his hips yeah i saw the video you posted yeah it's hilarious

and he like they didn't know what to do and he's like well everyone around me was making a bunch of noise so uh threw his hands up and everyone's like he's like washed up dudes and like flat brims that's hilarious like pumping this fucking guy yeah it was so fucking funny dude i i was so entertained by it yeah that sounds like a good time he's like a physician from canada just being like yeah my daughter you know brought brought her ideas to this free marketplace and you know and he was like ruthless about her he was like it looks like your your like titties look like your shoulders or some shit like that and her dad's right there i was like what do you think about what he was saying about like her body he's like he's a lot he's entitled to express that like dude that's not your daughter that's got to be pretty ball that's

pretty ballsy of that girl to bring her dad and just like i don't know i feel like just even being a girl battle rapper it's got to be like horrifying yes but she's not a lot of girl battle rappers no and most of them are like pretty tough this girl's name like vixen the assassin yeah yeah who have like who talk about like robbing you yeah Yeah, Coleslaw with a K. Yeah, that's funny as fuck. She's a Canadian girl who took the train down here. Really? Yeah. The train to Oakland?

She's just like bold and like fucking like left wing. Like it's just, it was the perfect antithetical matchup. Two guys who were, two people who were on the polar opposite of ideals and shit like that. But yeah yeah the train from california to oakland that's hilarious that's must have been what fucking like two days yeah that's insane that's crazy the wells fargo yeah that's nuts but it's gotta be it's gotta be cheaper to fly at that point those it's definitely cheaper to those those long trains dude i remember when i was i was in north carolina and i didn't want to fly home

because i was so scared of flying and i looked at the train it was like a thousand dollars and probably like a thousand hours oh yeah it's it sucks yeah and it's like the only thing that i could maybe point to is that maybe like many other battle rappers she had uh a touch of the tism and maybe was enjoying the train ride you know what i mean maybe a train a train person yeah she probably like a bed and shit yeah maybe so those beds on those trains are rough i know you feel every bump yeah dude she probably had the l-lysine going through her veins after some fucking rickety ass train bed sleep dude my uber here that was like one of those cars that just doesn't have like shocks yeah there's no suspension on the yeah you're just it felt like we were driving down like a beach

like a horse-drawn carriage it was crazy just a cobble rocky road cobblestone rocked yeah that shit is is not fun now if you have a if you got the bubble guts oh yeah but i feel like usually my asshole was like a fucking dime dude just like i'm... I'm going to launch one when I get home. I'm so pumped. Yeah, I'm like super happy for you. It's going to be good. I haven't taken a good shit since Philly, and I know I've eaten a lot of bad things,

and I put a lot of bad stuff in my body, and it is going to explode. You say you haven't taken a good shit. Have you taken any shit? Barely. Damn. I got a hundred count of l-lysine yeah i'm good on the l-lysine it sounds like a fucking nightmare it is dude it really was i was in such

pain just like sitting on the like moaning yeah yeah that's a feeling that you only get every like every like 12 years yeah everyone never hayley's a feeling that you only get every like. Every like 12 years. Yeah. Everyone never. Haley's Comet comes around. You fucking moan on the toilet. The feeling of being like, I might shit myself. While you're on the toilet. Yeah. Yeah.

I was talking more about the shitting. I feel that every single day. What? What you were just describing. Oh, yeah. On the toilet. Yeah. That's every day.

Just fuck. It sounds like a. Jesus fucking Christ. Like, that's every day. Just fuck. It sounds like a... Jesus fucking Christ. Like a fire alarm going off. It's like smacking my hand against the sink. How many toilet paper holders

have you gone through? Oh, dude. The amount of rolls of toilet paper. I didn't realize how fast you fly through those things. That's why you don't buy the thick toilet paper. No, the thick does sell much more though yeah but it's fucking

dude it's like three wipes no no you get the thick stuff you can you get the thick stuff you can use one square you're good to go i'm always gonna use the same amount no bro if you get the really thick stuff i'm always gonna use the same amount it's like using a sham wow back there it's a towel yeah it takes up everything dude it assumes everything yeah that thick toilet but that that feeling of being in a public place or in a car and being like i genuinely don't know if i'm gonna be able to make it home imagine this is that's a once a decade feeling like her like male cousin's car like having to explain that's a gringo shit her fucking seat yeah i really just didn't want to have to do that but the guy who was waiting for

the elevator definitely stepped in and i mean i was throwing out pieces of clothing multiple pieces of clothing that's crazy dude yeah it was a terrible time i don't even know how that like because it comes in waves too yeah totally and i'm like i'm over it it's good all right probably like and then all of a sudden it comes back stronger it's the third time in my life it's happened that you've shit yourself yeah i've only shit myself once or twice but it was both over the same week because i had food poisoning yeah both of mine were very tame compared to this this was mine was not this was a fantastic beast and where to find it was in my fucking tommy john's yeah it was well when i

shit my pants it was like it's like it's just now it's happening now it was like there's there was never even a thought of like i'm gonna try and hold it it was like it's coming out now yeah and that's not coming out out a demon trying to escape my body there's no architecture to the turd like soft serve ice cream just coming out of you saying but i was in the woods piping hot oh yeah yeah i think you've talked about this yeah yeah that's they were like do you think we could do like do you want to just walk back to the clubhouse and i'm like no it's not there's no there's no there's not even any point of trying to do that i'm trapped i walk three more feet i will shit i'm a prisoner in my own body yeah and as soon as i got out of the car i was like i know that either i'll stand up

and i'll be completely fine or i'll be a faucet that's crazy dude i can't believe you didn't you couldn't make it just 10 more seconds and not only was i like that's why was my asshole sealed i was clenching cheek oh yeah yeah. Trying to just barricade. Yeah. I was trying to, I had like, like people like, I was like putting like dressers up against the door.

So nothing fucking knocking down desks and chairs in front of the door trying to like fucking. And it was, it was a category five. So are you off the outlying scene now? Yes. That's good. For my body. We'll see'll see dude it could come back I know or it could have been that airplane food what'd you get on the airplane it was a

no it was like a first thing in the morning flight back but it was like a greasy ass breakfast sandwich which could have been the culprit and then I stopped in the delta lounge on the once I landed too yeah it's like I don't feel like ordering food once i get home that's a good idea so would you go lax jfk uh sfo sfo jfk san fran san fran's not bad no it's not bad it's a decent it's a decent port jfk is rough i thought you went at jfk to lax is like a nightmare. That's like actually a nightmare scenario in my life. Yeah. Yeah. JFK to LAX is.

Or LAX. I mean, just because once you get to JFK, like you still have to get home. JFK might as well be in Pennsylvania. Yeah. It's an hour and a half away. It's terrible. How far away is it from like Brooklyn? An hour and a half. Yeah.

Took me an hour and 20 minutes to get home yesterday. And if it had been an hour and 19 minutes, I'd have a more pieces of clothing yeah i'd have a few more items did you have to drop did you like lose any good clothes no like any favorites it was like new stuff sponsors has just given me i was like i'll wear this home yeah yeah that's good it was fucking crazy tough to just ruin a pair of good good slacks no i wasn't wearing these shoes though i couldn't throw out my shoes though dude did it get on your shoes i don't want to talk about it anymore where was it was it was going forward how would it even get on your shoes it's like you know when uh where is your ass well i'm already pissing out shit my shit is offset left but

it's like when you uh i don't know how you could possibly get shit on your shoes. It's like the one place you can't get shit. It's like when bank robbers open up a bag of marked bills. Kind of. And it's just like the blue dye just explodes everywhere. So it was going forward. It was like the artist representations it was like the, uh, it was like the artist representations of when the submarine imploded,

how like everything imploded and then fully exploded. I might've been, it might've got on like the top of my head. Oh man. It was completely preposterous. A brand new building. Right. And there's only what,

like there's like four people live in the building. No, it's a big ass building. Oh, I thought you were on that like fucking one floor your whole your whole apartment's one floor no no no no my apartment's not that crazy come over see come see you francis and i know i stayed at i i stayed at a hotel that i thought was going to be nice while i was in oakland it was called the uh claremont but uh it was like it was built in the

1800s it was like a it was like a european it was like a castle it really was it was like built by like an oil baron or some shit it was like a fucking castle and i thought it was going to be fucking sweet but i just felt like rapunzel in this tiny room and dude it made me realize that i think that california smells bad i think you were at san fran well but i'm saying the smell that i smelled in this old hotel in california is a smell that i've smelled all over la and like whatever any older building that i go to in la i don't know if it's like the type of wood they have there or like the tan skin that's been scraped off of people's bodies that's sitting in all the carpet but there's a familiar los angeles or that uh like smell to me that i

also smelled in san fran that i've smelled in like so many old places and it's different than stinky old new york buildings yeah stinky old new york buildings have their own smell but there's like a specific california smell i wish i knew if it was a real thing, but it has to be. There has to be some reason why all these buildings stink the same. The Pacific. The Pacific smell. You think it's like the ocean? Everything that we stayed in

this past week was on the water. You used to be dealing with East Coast Atlantic stuff. Yeah, it could be a different stink to the water. The dog? Somebody just put down a dog yeah damn yeah there definitely was a fucking execution yeah i don't know what it is let's google it right now why they're quite literal just you can't see stars in the sky and bacon wrapped hot dogs oh that sounds awful everything in la was like uh can't see anything if you look up

and then like uh what is that from the fires just smog and then everyone looked at you with like aquarium eyes i called it was like looking for famous people just walking by oh yeah in la la i'm not a big la guy oh yeah it sucks after the super bowl Hey guys, fight week is here! Ruff and Rowdy 22 returns to Wheeling, West Virginia this Friday night, August 18th at 8pm Eastern. 20 fights with no headgear include 5 round main events for a first time ever! Wait, so usually Ruff and Rowdy is 3 rounds, so these are going to be 5 round fights?

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Please responsibly. It sucks. Yeah. We stayed next to the hotel we stayed in for the super bowl yeah in that stupid ass area of la where it's like either if you step one one step outside you're on the steepest hill yeah yeah oh yeah i couldn't go down i just walked back and forth i was there since tuesday and now i'm going back tomorrow but like that whole strip yeah you just did laps you couldn't go down the hill because it was like an 88 degree angle. Yeah.

I forgot about how steep that was. You're just at on a bluff. You're just at like that. That's West Hollywood. Yeah. Right near the store, right? And we were across the street from the store. You guys drop in?

We'll do 10. We're about to. We did a quick roast battle. Yeah. Was there anyone there? Yeah. Bert. D'Lea. Schaub. Santino. Bert. quick roast battle yeah was there anyone there yeah burt leah uh job santino burt norman oh really yeah ever heard of him yeah it's good shit man those guys were good they let me do 10

nice it was love different crowds yeah yeah you know how it's different out there i know i know exactly how it's different out there guys what's up with the fucking smell in this city, huh? LA is stinky, right, guys? Everything smells so weird here. I swear to fucking God, dude. My old apartment smelled the same as the fucking Paramount Studios that I worked up in there. Smelled the same as this hotel. Smelled the same as every, like, all old shit out there smells the same and i don't

know if anyone else has noticed it or feels it but like there's no way that this fucking berkeley hotel should smell the same as a fucking hotel in los angeles ain't no way there's no i need to get to the bottom of this stinky ass state we'll get so we'll get uh we'll get some people i'll do a little investigation california stinks bro make it as the title and we'll see if we can catch any fucking any smellologists catch some heat little clickbait action there a little clickbait get that fucking you know get in the algo throw it in a on a reel carson california has been sickened by a noxious smell of rotten egg for months. Is it sulfur? No, and it doesn't feel recent.

I've been there years over years, and I used to enjoy it when I liked LA. Now it reminds me of fucking broken dreams. Yeah, fucking been there, man. All of your dreams are still intact. Too many nights in the Paramount studio. You've never dreamt something that's not still a possibility in your life. Too many nights in that Paramount studio. You've never dreamt something that's not still a possibility in your life. Too many nights in that Paramount studio. Just grinding.

On the Paramount lot? Yeah. 100%, bro. It was me, Chris Hardwick. You on location tonight? Ferone, you on location today? I did spend late nights in that bitch, bro. They'd send everybody home.

They'd be like, I need you to stay late. We need to rewrite all this. Yeah. We need our top guy here. You're joking, bro. Is it a stinking armpit with cabbage rotting inside that actually sounds very familiar no it's like fucking it's like the shaved bottom of a foot of somebody who spent uh a third of their life on a yoga mat you know what it was about it was haunted you think that's what it is yeah i bet that's what it was it was the

smell of the ghost yes ghost smell really that's like one of the big things it's they're they're freezing and then they stink like dead people really yeah it did i mean that's probably what it was because you were talking shit about demons a couple episodes i have been talking shit about demons and then you shit yourself that was probably the demon i felt like a demon was coming out the demon probably had to make room in your body for himself. It was going to be me or this shit. Yeah. Damn.

So he liquidated your insides. And now he's living in there. Yeah. I wouldn't mind it. I'd welcome a demon. Just like I said before. You're fucked. You're going to have stinky hotels for the rest of your life.

Damn. That is actually one of... That would be one of the worst punishments that you could get whenever people are like would you rather like have a penis on your forehead or like have stinky hotels stinky hotel sounds like hell yeah i've only had one stinky hotel ever and it was in providence and it was like an overwhelming cleaning supply smell. Like it smelled like someone died in my room. And then they just emptied a gallon of like lemon Febreze in my room. Stinky hotels are traumatic because you can remember Dan.

I can remember like I had a stinky hotel in Portland, Maine. There was a stinky hotel I had in Philadelphia one time. You remember every stinky hotel you'll ever go into the chicago one that was like literal human shit that's him oh oh yeah the lobby smelled like a sneeze but like a butt sneeze i remember going down to the lobby in providence and being like my room smells like lemon and they were like shit man everything smells like lemon in this bitch and i was like well no but i was like but my room like really smells welcome to rhode island man i was like no like you could smell it when i remember i turned the corner out of the out of the uh elevator and i was like what the fuck is that smell and then i'm just getting closer and

closer to my room and i'm like it's coming from the room that i'm staying in it's probably lie it's probably like the thing that they use to like cover up the smell of decomposing bodies that's what i said yeah it's that's what it smelled like lie it smelled like something that they were like we have to use an overwhelmingly strong smell to combat the dead bodies in the walls bro on my flight back yesterday someone must have done a madness and a badness in the toilet yeah a combination and they fucking the they put like bags of coffee in there this is before i even shit myself dude i would have loved to shit myself in there a bag of coffee and then the bags of coffee weren't doing enough so they wet the bags of coffee to make them more fragrant i've never seen anything like that

they were fucking trying to unleash the smell of the coffee. That's crazy. Why don't they just get out? I was going to say, why don't they just get a match or something? I don't think you can do that on a plane. Why don't they just get a lighter? Yeah. Why don't they just light a match? Why don't you just light a bomb up on the plane?

Make all the smells go away. Take care of that smell real quick. Yeah, they would. That's what they were trying to do. Oh, never mind. So what does the future hold for you, S sass what do you got coming up bro not much just been busy as a motherfucker been busy have to yoga two shows tonight got shows all week yeah because people people are seeing the pedigree at this point they're like oh shit sass out that fucking

no it's just usually with the stand I'll get like a couple spots and then there'll be one week where I have like every single night that breaks my fucking heart no I'm pumped

oh that's fucking awesome just get busy start using their your connections there and book people for this show for this show? yeah I don't know a lot of

heavy hitters brother yes you do no For this show? Yeah. I don't know a lot of heavy hitters, brother. Yes, you do. No, I don't. I don't. It doesn't have to be heavy hitters. I just want funny people. Because we're getting ready for the ramp up. Totally. We're going to

Barstool Radio collab. We're actually also announcing we're going to be coming out at the same time as the yak and barstool radio our son of a boy dad live five days a week one to two p.m one to two to three to four eastern standard time whenever we see an uptick in other people's numbers of when they're recording we'll also hop on then yes i'm surprised they don't actually do that i'm surprised they're not like the act as well everyone's everyone's podcast should go out at one to two that's like that's their logic that's the mindset of things around here the i genuinely like do we know who came up with the idea to have 210 facebook posts today

or was that just some random person gillian Wallow do well. Have you guys considered being black? Tyler Gold. Strong. Wait, is that the new guy that everyone's talking about? No, he's been here. A different guy? He's good people, though. Out and About does well.

Have you guys considered sucking each other off? Classic. Classic. Classic. They're gay. Mean Girls as well. Ronan, have you ever considered getting in a nasty divorce? Oh, fuck. No, I haven't.

Man, just riffs. It's all jokes. It's all jokes. Those girls know we fucking love them like sisters. Like sisters. We never let anyone hurt them. Don't comment mean stuff about them. It's hurtful.

The inside of my pen is scratched, and it's quite frustrating. What the fuck does that mean? I don't know. Somehow it's got scratched all here. The inside of your pen? Why do you even care what the hell is going on with the inside of your pen? Brother, you got to clean it every night and make sure it doesn't jam. That thing's jamming on you. The worst thing that could happen to a comedian is someone taking away this.

Best weapon that you have as a comedian. This is the most powerful fucking tool in my box, brother. Yeah, now that Dave owns Barstool, we're going to have to all turn in our phones. Sorry, Penn. You guys must be real pissed to see me break one of these things out. Yeah. Jokes, a lot of them.

Incoming. Really is. You just need one pen. But what was keeping you from doing that, using that pen right before, right before the sale? You had all the opportunity in the world to use that pen.

Now you're using the pen? No. to use that pen now you're using the pen no now is not the time to break out the pen now we're free we can finally use pens again jokes are legal

here at the fucking stool the pirate ship is back yeah that's fucking nice to be back in this bitch except for I gotta go

to California yeah that sucks on Thursday rough and rowdy on Friday that'll be sweet and then next week is the Barstool Awards Nice to be back in this bitch. Except for I got to go to California. Yeah, that sucks. On Thursday. Rough and rowdy on Friday. That'll be sweet. And then next week is the Barstool Awards. Yeah, and we got the fucking case race.

And we got Stu's house on Tuesday. That's going to blow. The case race will be fun. But then having to, like, a night like that, I need to lay in bed until 5 p.m. Yeah. I can't be up at 9 a.m taking a bus to stew's house that's what we gotta do yeah stew lives at fucking jfk i know dude and then we gotta fucking thank god i'm off the licino i'd be shitting on the bus i know and then we gotta fucking uh fly out to boston to put on a goddamn performance. Performance of a lifetime.

Barstool Awards. Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. I got to figure out what I'm going to do. I got to get a suit. Yeah, you're fucked. And you guys... Have you ever worn a suit?

Yeah. When? I don't know. You've never worn a suit before at all. I've worn a suit. You've worn khaki pants and like a blue blazer i guarantee that's the extent of it i'm gonna get a kings of comedy suit a stacy adams suit like a wide shouldered like pink pinstripe suit real baggy suit

with like a a louboutin fedora with like the red underbrim yeah a Louboutin fedora with like the red under brim. You need to get one of those. I guess I'll just get a suit, right? Skin tight. I mean, you know, Portnoy's going to be pissed if you're not in there in a suit. I know. Don't tell anyone I heard Portnoy's coming in tomorrow.

Really? Yeah. Actually, Erica told me and she was like, don't tell anyone. I heard that as well. Actually, Nick told me, he said, I heard Portnoy's making a surprise visit this week. Yeah, and everyone knows about it.

I know. Whatever. By the time this comes out, we'll have been late and fired by him already. I know. That's going to suck. Hey, monkey see, monkey do. Monkey see, monkey do. What time are you going to get in tomorrow?

Davey moves to Florida. I move to Florida. Yeah. What time are you going to get in? I'm not leaving tonight. Yeah, true. Can't risk it. I'm not, bro. I'm not leaving. He gave his I'm not leaving speech. I'm about to give him an I'm not leaving

speech back. Mincy's back in the bitch too. I really don't. What time are you going to get in? You're really thinking about it. Yeah. I just got shit all night and i gotta come in at fucking 8 a.m dude you did come in at 8 a.m the other day yeah it was terrible what time did you get in nine before you know you didn't get in before nine no i got in like right at nine

and you stayed until 5 30 why that's yeah something like that to pretend that you're working it's what everyone's doing i know everyone's pretend that you're working? It's what everyone's doing. I know. Everyone's pretending they're working. No one's working. There's nothing to do at 8 a.m. The output has not gone up at all. There's nothing to do at 8 a.m.

I know. I know. What am I going to do? There's nothing. There's literally nothing. No news has happened. There's no news to cover. Even if you were like assiduously blogging.

I know. It doesn't start until like 11. No. I know. I know. So it's like, but then it's like you gotta be here because you want to like prove something to daddy i just don't want to get yelled at he didn't yell at you i just don't i don't want to get yelled at and i don't want to have people be like where's sass well nate's gonna do that no matter what fucking viva la stool accounts sass didn't show up until 903 today deke zucker woke up like the

undertaker yeah i'm back i know yeah i don't know i just don't i mean i'll be there were people that were getting in pre-8 that day dude tommy got here at like 7 45 tommy i texted tommy i'll read you the message. I texted him at I texted him at 718 in the morning. I said, what time are we getting in today? And he said, I'll probably be there around 8 30 and then he and then i said for real question mark because i was like that's insane 8 30 dave was not in the office that day no he never came in everybody he was on a plane to miami and then he said yeah i know and he said yeah but i don't know what other people will do and i said well i guess i'll go

in at 8 32 and then he texted me at 7.45 leaving now. I'm still in bed at this point. I was like, I thought we were getting in at 8.30. No shit, you're still in bed. And then he goes, and I said, you're fucking with me. And he said, I'll probably be there around 8.15. And I said, why are you going to the office at 7.45? Dude, the best thing about having this fake job of ours is that it's fake. Yeah. And when you start pretending that it's real, it takes away all the benefits of having a fake job of ours is that it's fake yeah and when you start pretending that it's real it takes away

all the benefits of having a fake job it is funny too how people are acting like that normal jobs get to the office at 7 a.m no one's jobs get in it's no one goes to work at 7 i know and everybody started that's why it's called a nine to five yeah yeah yeah they all they all fucking they wake up at 9 a.m they put their mouse hovering clicker on to make it appear like they're online and they sit there and spend nine hours on reddit being like people at barstool aren't working enough the fuck aren't you working harder for it's also just like i don't know i feel like it's so i don't know how it's so hard to understand that it's just weird hours we didn't leave yesterday until like 8 a.m and 8 p.m there's also uh like there's a diminishing return on trying to do funny stuff yeah like you can't just do that's why i'm excited

about like i'm gonna miss the yak obviously but like i'm excited in some ways about not having to like scrape the bottom of my mind every day trying to find something to talk about yeah i think that that it's going to be way more natural to just have like a free-flowing conversation a couple times and it can be more dense with funny shit instead of being like i need a camera on me at all times yeah definitely for a vlog or some shit like that totally totally man you know the fucking drill though all right. Alright. What's our time at? Gotta be over an hour. 55. 55?

Damn. Long ads. New Out of Order will be out the same day as this. Definitely check out that election video, too. New Out of Order. Peppepod. Rough and Rowdy this weekend. Oh Pod Rough and Rowdy this weekend

oh Rough and Rowdy this weekend for sure they're saying it's going to be the biggest ever and you're canceling all your tour dates no I don't have anything coming up yes you do no I don't you have some stuff Chicago sold out

clean slate let me do five let me do five at the top of the Chi-Town show. Sure. All right, we'll see you guys next week. Thank you.