Son of a Boy Dad - Icelandic Elves | Son of a Boy Dad #191

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

Icelandic Elves | Son of a Boy Dad #191 -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Bottom left, bottom left. All right, ready? We're good Sorry I'm sorry I really am, that's annoying

It's not annoying at all Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast Today it is April 15th, tax day. It is noon. The Ides of April. The Ides of April. We are here from HQ3. And Francis' thighs are looking juicy.

I have lost a lot of weight. I was going to say they're actually not looking that juicy. I'm not well. What's wrong? Something's happened to me. Your hamstrings look bulbous what do you mean i think you just haven't been in the gym as much i just i don't know something happened and all i went on a scale for the first time this weekend and like probably five months and i was like no fucking way in a bad way and then i found another scale and i was like dear god i'm down like 15

pounds most people would be overjoyed about that i didn't have i didn't really have like weight weight to lose i wasn't trying to lose weight you just lost i was healthy before and now i think i'm really because you're just eating fucking bird food all day no wonder you're losing weight if you're just eating grain bowls for every meal. Everywhere we go we get grain bowls. We don't get grain bowls. He gets grain bowls. He eats a fucking cheeseburger. And then he's like, man, I'm so tired.

The most common food on earth. You gotta find a way to deep fry your lettuce. You need to find a way, or else he won't let you hear the end of it. You gotta beer batter your arugula. I don't like to eat fried food anymore because it gives me a tummy-wummy, but I don't eat grain bowls. You know that if it's cooked on the grill top

with, like, fucking grease or whatever, it's basically the same thing for your tummy-wummy. Not for me. Yeah. I mean, I can slam burgers and not be sick. A cheeseburger at lunch is not the type of thing that's gonna give you your best results. I can tell you that much. It is. I know my body, and I know it gives it the best results. He said it's the single thing that's gonna give you your best results i can tell you that much i know my body i know it gives it the best results he said it's the single thing that his body breaks down the

easiest unleaded it's pure 93 unleaded it truly is cheeseburger think of it that's diesel fuel for the body think what's in he purrs like a mercedes with that bitch and if i have a chicken sandwich or if i have like chicken tenders or I don't know, pasta, it's fucking curtains for the rest of the day. Yeah, apparently he gets diarrhea from everything other than cheeseburgers. I don't eat a lot of cheeseburgers. I eat them when I'm on the road. You're like Warren Buffett. Doesn't he eat McDonald's like every day?

Every morning. Every morning or something like that? I don't eat McDonald's ever. But I'm saying he has put his body to a state of consistently putting in the same shit. Even though it's shit, his body runs off of that because it's what it's used to yes that's me it's not good but i have a Caesar salad it's gonna be explosive yeah probably because it's the first introduction of fiber to your diet in years probably actually i made a great taco soup this weekend the fuck i know it was really good you made it yeah from scratch wow that's awesome

my apartment what yeah i don't even think you have the space to make taco soup at your apartment i didn't yeah there's a lot of leftovers just stacking it on top of like old prime bottles yeah pretty much guy loves prime how'd it turn out was Was there tortillas in it? No, I skipped out on the tortillas But great, it was super good The secret ingredient is ranch seasoning Yum Super good Damn

Shit was flames It sounds like the type of thing that could really get me back to health It is, high protein, low carb What protein is there? The meat Oh, there's meat in that taco soup. What'd you put in that taco soup? Ground beef. Ground beef, GB. Cheeseburger. Why don't you have us over for a fucking

deconstructed cheeseburger? I just ordered a couple of Big Macs from McDonald's and just crushed them up. And blended them. Dude, that's literally how Wendy's used... Tortilla soup. And threw taco seasoning on top. That's how Wendy's used Toastia soup And threw taco seasoning on top That's how Wendy's used to make their chili

Like you would find a half ripped up hamburger In their chili It was fucking disgusting I will say, I was eating it and I was like This is just wet chili, that's all this is This is just chili with broth But it was great That's why you needed tortilla with it

A tortilla chip Felt good, I just felt healthy. We need to get you fucking plumped up again, Francis. I know. Well, I don't know. I kind of like the lean look. You look good. If I were to get a haircut right now, you guys would be put off.

Why? Why? Because of how gaunt I would look. The only reason I don't look more gaunt is because of my hair being so long. Really? It's the longest my hair's been since high school it is pretty long yeah you would like that wouldn't you fucking bitch grow that grow that shit out to high school length i want to see the touching shoulder yeah i see what's a nice it's time it's time to let myself go i had it what i had an insane

week i know you've got a fun story i I do. Do you want to start with that? Sure. Okay, fine. Well, I'd like to get it out of the way so that I don't have anything else to say. Well, it's fresh. So last night I was at the stand. You go there a lot. So you know Dan Carney, right? Comedian, you know him? Dan Carney, one of my favorites.

I was watching a Dan Carney clip recently. Like his sketches and stuff? Yeah, yeah. Probably like 260, 265, but 265 but good yeah yeah yeah he's right there and you know uh shot you know sean malaya no i don't know sean malaya you know who's he he's a younger comic he's like 400 410 he's a younger comic and he looks exactly like dan carney like exactly long hair long long hair same face everything so i was at this end so dan carney all week has been uh he's been he's been tweeting about his diarrhea what kind of stuff was he tweeting he's got like crazy food poisoning or

some shit his whole twitter timeline for the last like week has been just i'm the diary like even today i woke up he's tweeting more about diarrhea and And so I got off stage at the stand last night and I went over to the bar to say goodbye to John, the bartender, and he was talking to Sean Malaya, who I thought was Dan Carney. And I walked up to him and I patted him on the back and I said, how's the diarrhea? And he turned and looked at me and he was like,

what are you talking about? And I was like, dude, and then I went, dude, you're talking about it constantly. You can't expect nobody to ask you about it. You still thought it was him. Dude, I thought it was him the entire, we talked for like 15 minutes. And, and he was like super like standoff. And I was like, oh, I guess he doesn't want to talk about it. And then, and then, and then, and then he just like changed the topic he was like anyways what's

new with you and it was like oh it was like uncomfortable but i was like i guess he doesn't want to talk about it all right weirdo yeah and then i left and then as soon as i got home i opened instagram and he dm'd me and he was like i think i just realized you thought i was dan carney that entire time and i was like he was like i had no idea what you were talking about with the diarrhea thing oh my god and then i was just playing it through my head the fact like the fact that i was like yeah dude you gotta fucking talk about it if you're gonna be posting about it constantly and he was just like what are you fucking talking about dude you interrogating him into it finally admit it you get a false confession out of him dude he was literally

like the diarrhea is fine and i was like what the fuck is going on tell me about your fucking diarrhea dude don't fucking play games with me i know but he did say he was like he was like i realized halfway through the conversation i thought it would be better to tell you afterwards than while we were still talking wow yeah why would he just tell you right away i don't know probably would have been uncomfortable i don't have that level of poise what do you mean you know people on this earth who can kind of realize that something is happening in real time and then hold their the natural response for the sake of because they can see the future better yeah do you know what i mean yeah example, I once got entrapped by a buddy of mine. What do you mean?

I lied to him and he was like, is that true? And I said, yeah. And it wasn't a big deal. Yeah. But then he was like, okay, cool. I'm going to go double check on that. Oh, he dangled it? Oh, shit.

And then he went up and got confirmation of what the truth actually was. And then he came back down and he was like, so wait, just remind me again. What was the lie? Is that true? We were at a buddy's house and his parents were home and they said we could drink in high school. But all they just didn't want us to play beer pong because it made a mess. And I started setting up beer pong cups. And it wasn't his house.

It wasn't his house. It was our other friend's house. And I started setting up beer pong cups. And he was like, didn't we get told not to do that? And I was like, no, no, no. I asked and it was okay. Because I was like, they're never going to come down. I'll clean it up, whatever.

Well, honestly. And then he was like, oh, really? You asked? And I was like, yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, okay, cool, great. And then he went up and asked the parents. And they were like, no. Then he came back down and he was like, oh, really? You asked? And I was like, yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, okay, cool, great. And then he went up and asked the parents. And they were like, no. Then he came back down and he was like, just really quick.

You said they said yeah, right? Yeah, but he's a conniving snitch, though. That's right. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, what a fucking loser. But that's my, that's just an illustration to me of people who can play the long game with their revenge. Yeah, but that's such shitty, that's not good revenge. No, it's not good revenge. game with their revenge. Yeah, but that's such shitty revenge. That's not good revenge. No, it's not good revenge.

That's terrible revenge. When you make people hang themselves. Yeah, give them the rope to hang themselves. That's an incredible level of patience. You said what? I've never been able to do that. As soon as someone wrongs me, I'm like, hey, I don't like that, and I don't like you. Shame.

Instead of waiting and being like, oh, that's fine. And then plotting. I don't have that. I don't like you. Shame. Instead of waiting and being like, oh, that's fine. And then plotting. I don't have that. You were messing with the devil. But like a goody two-shoes devil. Do you know who the best example of this ever was? Was Peter Thiel. Who's that?

Billionaire, venture capitalist, angel investor who bought into Facebook. About like a third of Facebook. He was the first investor in Facebook. They'd go to him in the movie in bathrobes. Oh yeah i remember i don't remember that part it was like the fuck you they like he's like make sure you go in 15 minutes late they walk in in like pajama pants and bath robes oh i remember that yeah i remember that he tells them to do that i think peter teal does but peter teal gets it with them and he buys like a third of facebook for i don't know five million dollars i don't know what it was i mean he's worth he's worth billions now and he uh is an openly he's a he's

a gay man who pause yeah but i think he was like it wasn't public you know maybe he was out to his friends and family right but he was it was not known and he's very private about his private life and gawker outed him as being gay yeah and i think it was because they didn't like his politics now i may be barking up a wrong tree i'm sorry if i'm telling tales no no gawker is gawker is like that's been and they're the people that fucked over hulk hogan so that's where this goes okay so uh rather than peter teal that he waited like 10 years a decade for the right moment and then i'm pretty sure that when hulk hogan's sex tape was released by gawker peter teal funded the legal effort for h Hogan's legal team, which is what bankrupted Gawker and shut them down. And got his revenge.

Some cold ass revenge. He waited that long. He waited for the right moment to do the most damage. Damn. That's what Drake should have waited to put out the diss track until like 10 years from now. Push ups. Same with Ross. Yeah.

Ross kind of jumped the gun there. Ross should have waited. Yeah. Strike him while the iron's hot. Not it. Yeah. Ross kind of jumped the gun there. Ross should have waited.

Yeah. Striking while the iron's hot? Not it. Waiting 10 years to bankrupt a morally bankrupt internet company? That's the hot shit. It. Are any of these diss tracks real, though? They're all... How come they're all coming out on random Twitter pages instead of Spotify or something?

I think it's because they don't want to pay for the beats. Ah. What? I think it's because... Come on, Drake. for the beats. What? Come on, Drake! I don't know. Maybe they're just testing the water. He got nominated for a Grammy. But I think that there's like... Back to back.

Wasn't there a sample on the first one of another diss track and maybe he couldn't clear the sample fast enough or something like that? Or back to back? The new one. Oh, I don't know. like that? For what, his new one? Or back-to-back? The new one. Oh, I don't know. I didn't even listen to the new one because everyone was saying it was AI.

No, then they finally – now it's out. It's out? It's called Push-Up. Push-Up? It's so good. The best diss track of all time is the Pusha T Drake diss track. You are hiding a child. Let that boy come home.

That was really good. Have you ever heard that one? Well, I know that's how that came out. Yeah. I think that Drake realized how impactfully everyone came at him in that instance, the Pusha T shit. So he went so fucking hard in this one. Well, I heard he goes after everyone, but I heard he barely even goes after Kendrick. It's mostly Rick Ross and Metro Boomin. I thought he went after everyone but i heard he barely even goes after like kendrick it's mostly like i thought it was fucking incredible i thought he went after everybody he went after he goes

after kendrick kendrick he keeps on calling him like a midget says you wear a size seven how are you gonna walk like that when you wear a size seven shoe or something like that damn yeah it's fucking talking about you get your tiny ass up and do some push-ups or whatever. He's fucking... Damn. Now... I brought my first pair of Converse because of Kendrick. I will say...

You wore them in a music video. That's hip-hop as hell. Yeah. Back in the day, this type of a beef would lead to people being killed. Yeah. And do we feel like that's where this is headed? Not a chance. No, now they're talking about about chipping nails and plastic surgeries.

Yeah. I also don't think you can kill A-list celebrities like that anymore. Like what? Someone's going to murder Drake? That would be the crazy... That would be like a president getting assassinated. It'd be bigger. Yeah.

That would be like if Kendrick Lamar just killed Drake. That'd be way bigger than Biden dying. I'd be so sad. Oh, yeah. I'd be so bummed out if Drake were killed. Yeah. I also don't think it has like the same like street cred. Like, I don't think that would make Kendrick Lamar more popular.

I think everyone would be like, dude, what the fuck? Why did you do that? Why would you do that? Why did you murder Drake? We were exchanging art. He made good stuff, man. He had a lot of time left. Yeah, that's so bad.

That would be nuts. Yeah, we can't kill for rap anymore. I did listen to Tupac's diss against Biggie. Hit him up? Hit him up. Love that one. Yeah, hit him up is pretty great.

What does he say? He says, you claim to be a player, but I fucked your wife. That's good shit. That is good shit. That's mean. That's why people were getting killed. That's why people were getting killed, yeah. Because people were saying shit like that.

Right. Now it's like, shut your whole ass up and make some drums. Yeah. You're ugly. Yeah. You're ugly. You're fat. You have fucking, you had nose surgery. You had nose surgery. It's hilarious.

Who are they saying? They said Drake had nose surgery, right? Rick Ross was saying that he had nose surgery and maybe a tummy tuck. A tummy tuck. I could see Drake having a tummy tuck for sure. What? He said that's why you wear some gooey shit on stage. He's got a good body.

Drake didn't always have a good body. Come on that's why you wear that some good body but drake didn't always have a good body come on man he's got a good body he for a while he was the guy you never see without the shirt pot with the shirt popped which i think makes him goatish and relatable if you're a rapper and you're jacked you're keeping the shirt off when gucci man got out of prison you were never seeing him with a shirt on ever. Yeah. But the other, so there's two options. You could be Rick Ross fat as fuck and have your shirt off. Yeah. Or you can be jacked and like LL Cool J and have your shirt off.

But if you're like flabby. Yeah. You can't be Drake and be like skinny fat and be walking around with a shirt off. That's what I mean. But I think that it's nice. I think that it's nice that he was like relatable and a little flabby. That's why he got the tummy tuck though. Yeah.

I bet he absolutely, or he did steroids. One of the two. Well, if he's not doing steroids, he's not trying. Yeah, exactly. I mean, Feidelberg, Smitty and fucking Hank are doing steroids. Is Feidelberg doing steroids? I don't know. That would explain a lot of things.

Feidelberg is jacked as hell. And he's like, yeah, sometimes I just picked up, pick up my 30 pound dumbbells in my apartment. That's what you said to me. Yeah. It's like, dude, no. We were at the mini golf thing, and Dave was just looking around, and he saw Feidelberg, and he goes,

is Feidelberg on steroids? Straight up said that. Well, it's like, dude, he claims he's like, yeah, sometimes when I'm bored, I'll just do a couple curls. Curls, that's what he says. Your arms are like this big. And they're getting bigger.

Yeah, they don't get that big from just occasionally doing a curl here and there. I'm going to have to see his balls up close. Yeah here and there. I'm going to have to see his balls up close. Yeah, me too. I'm going to have to taste his balls. I'm going to have to see the mouthfeel of his sack. Yeah, taste the trend leaking out of him. I mean, look at me.

If I don't work out constantly and eat a lot of food, I look like I have fucking rickets or something. It's the goddamn travel that's taking it out of you. I think it's the long-sleeved shirt, to be honest. No, if you saw me without a shirt on, you'd be troubled. Long-sleeved shirts make everyone look skinnier. Don't take this away from me. I'm just saying.

That's new for me. I'm just saying. I lost a lot of weight. Do you like it? I don't know. Is it going to be cool for the summer? I'm curious. I'm kind of...

This is like a new flirtation. Skinny? I mean, being tall and skinny is like... It's in right now. We just show up for the... Yeah. For the snatch. I think I've been watching Oppenheimer a lot and...

He's thin. That's what I like. I like how thin he is and I like that his friend keeps saying, eat something. And so there's a part of me that... That's good attention. ...takes the note from Oppenheimer to not eat, because I'm so focused on saving the world or something. Having Italian grandmothers flocking to you like pigeons, being like, you need to eat some meatballs. Like, have something.

You're too thin. There's that Blue blue zones doc we talked about where they have that japanese saying that says eight out of ten right before they eat yes yes which means we're gonna eat until we're 80 full have you been subscribing to that i'm going two out of ten i was talking to mook last night and he's saying that he's got a wedding this weekend and he's trying to lose five pounds this week he said he's getting fitted for a tux today and he's like i'm trying to lose five to ten pounds ten yeah but then we were like what do you i was like i was like oh you should just not drink for a week i was like you would lose a ton of weight just lick the fucking subway floor yeah yeah

honestly just get sick of shit yeah that's the that's the best way to look gaunt and thin yeah well he said he said he's not gonna stop going to stop drinking and I said you should try intermittent fasting because that helps. And he said he's not doing that either. So you're not going to lose 10 pounds. He's going to gain 5 pounds. Yeah. The only way to lose 5 to 10 pounds in a week is to do like a water cleanse.

Yeah. You're just drinking water. That's it. Yeah. I mean, I think you could get like a cal like if you're eating like 1200 calories a day or something and walking like fucking you know 10 or 5 miles a day or some shit like that you could maybe chip away at it but it's not gonna be a good look no it's not gonna be sickly five pounds sickly five pounds you'll you'll maintain the flat yeah it's gonna be the five pounds that you actually needed. Who's that UFC fighter that was a Marine, I think?

Goggins? No. He fought in the UFC for a bit there. He's been on Rogue and a bunch. Very conservative. Zach Bryan? Jocko? No.

Forget it. Sorry. Who? I can't remember. I can't remember his name. What was your story? I don't know UFC guys. I fucking wish I did.

He did a water cleanse he did the thing where he was like i'm on day four of a fast i'm just drinking water i'm not eating anything and he's like i feel great and this guy does these types of things he also do you remember christopher hitchens the essayist. Yes, yes, yes. He's an atheist. Atheist, yeah. Brilliant atheist. And he died, I think, of... Anyway. He's just nowhere right now. He's in neither heaven nor hell right now.

He was trying to make the point back after 9-11 when people were saying that waterboarding might not be torture. It's not torture. It's an enhanced interrogation technique or whatever. Yeah. when people were saying that waterboarding might not be torture it's not torture it's enhanced interrogation technique or whatever yeah so he got himself waterboarded i know exactly who you're talking about now yeah exactly i've watched that video and that guy's fucking nuts that's what i'm saying yeah okay so that video pissed me off so it's like dude let me get us there because we're not there yet i'm glad you know this though christopher hitchens got himself waterboarded and he could handle it for like 30 seconds and then he

came out of it sputtering and blubbering and he was like that's definitely fucking torture and uh people are like wow you put your money where your mouth is and then years later, this UFC guy, this Marine, who's insane, did the same thing. And was like, it's not that bad. And it's actually kind of nice. It cleared out my sinuses. Like, I had a gentle water stream running from nose to mouth. And, you know, as long as you're relaxed, it's fine. Yeah, I'm sure that they prioritize you being relaxed in Guantanamo.

and uh prioritize you being relaxed in guantanamo yeah to see him doing that and to see him doing the water fast it's like dude nothing that you do is a frame of reference for real people yeah you voluntarily learn the sport of mixed martial arts and you enter an octagon willingly like that's not that the type of person who does that is not going to be able to say how i'll feel about being waterboarded or your training is a 20 mile run and getting like hitting your midsection with a bamboo stick for yeah exactly like you know would you remember this video yeah well it's also like waterboarding the only the the reason that it's torture is because the terrorists think they're going to die you're not you're not ever going to get that same experience unless you're legitimately getting waterboarded and not getting waterboarded by like

your producer for your video yeah they're not like they're not going into it being like all right if at any point this is too much yeah put your thumb up and we will stop yeah are you ready relax almost done you understand the signal right yeah yeah your your producer is not going to go to the point where you think you're gonna die so it's like there's never going to be an actual study on waterboarding unless you are legitimately a terrorist who gets captured by the government and gets waterboard instead it's like a six foot four oklahoma dude who's 230 pounds and has a dangerous amount of testosterone and hates his dad yeah like it's a angry motherfucker that's doing this to you yeah i got waterboarded on the yak

and it's like yeah you just you know i knew whoever did it to me was not gonna kill me so i just held my breath yeah and also they probably didn't do it like full the the scary part about waterboarding is not that you can't breathe it's that you're drowning yeah like the water is coming in through your nose and your mouth because you try to breathe and you can't i wonder how the fuck they figured it out they must have been trying to kill someone have you ever seen the report with adam driver yeah that's a great movie yeah very dialogue heavy but it's good yeah that's what they talk about that like the entire time it's like what it's about the heroic congresswoman of that was diane feinstein

or the senator right yeah yeah you said heroic i think you meant the jewish but that's like they like they they narrow it down and they're like we've waterboarded like 2 000 prisoners and we have not gotten one actual answer out of any of them and they're like just keep going it's gonna work it's like that meme where it's like you're right at the edge of the diamonds yeah yeah walk back yeah well it's because they meme where it's like you're right at the edge of the diamond yeah yeah walk back yeah well it's because they say they're like they're like the only answers that we're getting are lies they're lies from people who will have nothing to say and they're like i'll say anything to get out of this position they're at the verge of death yeah dude i would tell the truth so fast yeah i would rat you guys out i would not have if someone put a fucking washcloth over my

face and they were wearing a balaclava and i'm in a dark room with you know metallica playing on high blast in my underpants right and they it's a wrap they're like you wouldn't even have to turn on the metallica or get me down to my underpants i'd be squawking right away i wouldn't you wouldn't get me to cuba I would have told. The Metallica one, I was like, I think I could power through. I think I'd be able to fall asleep.

I would be on such good terms with my captors that I would actually get to enjoy the private jet ride down to Guantanamo. You guys don't need to blindfold me. Trust me. We're cool.

You think any terrorists were pretty funny? Like crack jokes with their captors? Probably not. There had to have been a couple of them that were like not that the worst one indoctrinated the worst enhanced interrogation method had to have been the the one that i was like i don't think i could survive that was one where they they make them stand up oh yeah you couldn't do that well no it's like they get like

their arms like chained up and they can't they have to like sleep standing, and then they play the loud music and have the flashing lights all the time. Yeah, that's brutal. I would hate that. But can't people actually die from that, from sleep deprivation? Yeah, probably. I had a cricket chirping outside my window throughout the night one time a couple of years ago. And I almost went to the government and was like, I don't want to be an American. I could see you mowing someone down

on the way to like starbucks the next morning yeah i could see you just driving through someone one night of disrupted sleep from a grasshopper and i yeah i was ready to forsake my nation the subtle noises are the worst yeah i've had that a couple times where i've convinced myself that i heard a beeping in my apartment. That's just weird. It's just not there. That's just weak of mind. Yeah, it is. To toughen the fuck up.

What was the dude's name? Tim Hitchings, the fighter? Tim Kennedy. Oh, yeah. Tim Kennedy. Did you guys watch the UFC fights? I just saw the highlights. They looked sweet, though.

Terrifying. So sick. The way that Gaethje got knocked out was awesome. When you fall flat on your face like that. And you're that tough. That's crazy. And you're the toughest guy in the world. Yeah.

Imagine knocking out the toughest guy in the world. How incredible that must feel. Fucking crazy. I've never been a UFC guy, and after watching those fights, I might be a UFC guy now. Yeah. The one bet I had all night was over 1.5 rounds in the main event. And the guy that got knocked out winning.

So both of those lofts within 30 seconds. It was over 1.5 rounds. No, it wasn't. The final fight was like a half a round. Oh, I was talking about the Holloway. The hollow one. Yeah. Yeah.

I won. I got second place in the mini golf. Holloway. The hollow one. Yeah. I won. I got second place in the mini golf. Hell yeah. That was sweet. How was that? $10,000. What? Jesus.

Yeah. That's good with me. I'd be making sure my bros ate. Me too. Yeah. I don't have it yet. I'd be putting that right back to the podcast. As soon as we get it, I'm going to get a mic stand that doesn't have the mic constantly.

That doesn't attack you? What you really should be doing is you should be investing in a new sign if you want your name up. No, we should be doing that for him. Imagine him having to pay for his own. That one was around $11,000. So after tax, you're still going to be putting up like $5,000 on that. No, they're going to do you dirty.

I wish it was just like a fucking stack of cash that you got from Dave. But it's going to be in your paycheck and you're going to get like $6,000 it's going to be like $3,000 come on that's for real yeah damn no way dude bonus bets what the heck

you get a bonus bet on horse racing and some barstool store cash yeah that was a fucking marathon of a of a there was four rounds there's a lot i feel like doing one round would have been fine it was so intense i lost a couple pounds there too really yeah are you stressing let's get you on some xanax yeah i'm not'm not doing that well. I'm really not doing well. The first year that I worked here, I'm still thinking about the taxes.

The first year that I worked here, my bonus was $500. I literally thought it was a mistake. I thought they were like, oh, why did they just give me 500 bucks like that? It never even registered to me that it was my bonus. Why would they even give you a bonus? That's like slap in the face i don't know i have no idea imagine what like big cat and pfts bonuses were well i think it was a thousand dollars then it got taxed down to 500 still it's crazy 500 is uh it's something that's nice that's nice i mean i'd take five hundred dollars right now at the time i was pumped yeah it's just crazy that that what other people might be getting but ten thousand i mean just get better at mini golf you could get a sweet ten thousand well i did come in

third place in the first mini golf tournament yeah but then they of course they lost the scorecards and they put kirk in third place instead and then moved you and then moved to 12th place and then took you out of the rest of the tournament like you also will not be able to compete in the future yes going forward that's too bad well i knew it was going to happen when i finished in third place and there was not a single camera even pointed in my direction and i was like well this didn't happen that didn't matter at all in the woods fuck well maybe next year you can get an invite no i got an invite this year i think oh did you yeah, that didn't matter at all. The tree just fell in the woods. Fuck. Well, maybe next year you can get an invite. No, I got an invite this year, I think. Oh, did you?

Yeah, I just didn't go. Why? Because I couldn't. Why? Why not? I had stuff going on in New York. Son of a boy dad. So did I, but I went.

Son of a boy dad. Yeah, you're a son of a boy dad. Yeah. Yeah. We recorded while you were gone. Someone had to. son of a boy dad yeah we recorded while you were gone I go where I am told to go I know we have a different contract though I'm fulfilling

my contract right now you're on the Taylor LeJuan deal which you have a reality show in Mexico that you're hosting I know I am I've been out in Mexico that you're hosting next month. I know, I am. That's going to be huge. I'm pretty pumped. Been out in Mexico City a lot.

Who has been the second? Who else was your competition in that? Marty? Didn't Marty fuck up at the end? So you could, didn't you win a lot of money because Marty fucked up or something? Well, at that point I had pretty much sealed. I had, well. You sealed a tie for something? I had hit a hole in one on the 17th hole

which meant that in order for Marty to tie me he had to hit a hole in one on the 18th hole and he didn't but then Riggs was behind me by a stroke and he made a hole in one and so now Marty just had to two putt on 18 for the tie

with rigs to push that to a playoff but he three putted and then he smashed his club into the set which i think they were planning to use in future years now there's a hole in it there's a hole but i like that i like people in one. But I like that. I like people that act out. Yeah. I like when things like... Spazzing. When people are just like, they can't even control their, you know, feelings, emotion. That lends stakes to the entire event.

It was really intense. Also, it would have been a win for him beating you, Riggs... Frankie. Frankie and Witt. Kirk. Dude, you play golf every fucking week. No one was going to beat Whitney. Whitney is good.

Whitney is good. Whitney ran away with it. We were all vying for second. I would beat Whitney. That's probably why they didn't want me to go. Wow, you guys should have the match. You know how they have like Tiger Woods against Rory McIlroy,

whatever the fuck it was. The Masters? No, no, the match where it was just like one-on-one. Ah, I see. We do these grudge matches. The problem is that Sass, no one would watch that

because you're not good. No, I am. I am good. You trying to convince people that you're good is one of the great strange delusions of this place. If I played golf four times this week, I could beat most people in the office. It's like me saying if I fly fished today, tomorrow, and the next day, I would be better.

Brother, I've seen you out on the water. And I've seen you out on the golf course. You need a lot more than four days. You need a lot more than four days. He said I take off. No, I'm great at golf. I'm asking Francis. Once upon a time, there was a swing there.

Now it is Parkinson's-y. No, it's not. It's riddled. I'm great. I bet right now I'm probably the best I've ever been. Just because I just watched the Masters all week. Yeah, through osmosis, you picked it up. It is crazy how delusional i am with golf i watched the

masters and i was like i bet if i went out here i could get like you 51 strokes yourself i i was like in my head i was like if i just had a good day i could i could compete if i didn't try to do anything super if i didn't go with him yeah that's literally what i was if i laid up when i needed to if i had the right caddy and got enough got a proper range session in and got the speed of the greens i could probably it's literally actually what i was thinking i was a lot of men i was like i was like if i just played smart golf i played bogey golf i went for bogeys i think i could have a good so i could have a good problem just like those guys are so good that they make the course look easy, and it's the hardest place ever. I know.

There's 600-yard holes, par 4s that are like 500 yards. That's just up and down for Sass, though. It's up and down. That's a driver and a 3-wood. 600 yards is light. Tiger really fell apart. That's okay. He made the cut.

That's all we wanted. We wanted to just watch him the whole time. Is it, though? I think we wanted him to win. No. I know my DraftKings account sure did. He's a little bit less exciting now that he's just on the straight and narrow and has a bad back.

It's just not interesting. They're all talking about his back and his fucking ankles what retire spoken like a true young man exactly he'll never age no problem with these ankles let's see him give us a swirl oh yeah why is that so creaky That looked like it was in stop motion. That looked like a Wallace and Gromit fucking claymation. Hey, did you get new pants? No, these are not new. Come on.

I got these at L.L. Bean with you. You did? You bought those as well? You bought two pairs of pants that day? Trace. What the heck? Three pairs of pants. Let's be real.

Cool, man. Good for you. Let your accountant know. He'll know. Oh, he'll know. He'll call me and say, well, I wish you only bought Three pairs of pants. Let's be real. Cool, man. Good for you. Let your accountant know. He'll know. Oh, he'll know. He'll call me and say, well, I wish you only bought two pairs of pants. I can't believe accountants are allowed to do that. Those lying bastards.

I know. Those subsidized bastards. The government is just fucking looking out for them. I know. They protect that profession. Like fucking realtors. How hard is it to do it yourself? Like when you have to write off stuff because i have the number that i have to write off and i have all my 1099s and i

have my barstool paycheck it's like i feel like i could just do it on turbo tax in like an hour oh turbo tax yeah that would be easy probably can turbo i mean they don't put the word turbo in there for nothing my mom sent all my 1099s to this guy so he has them and he's just like i can't do it so i'm like well what are we gonna do now because you have all that guys fucking take me to jail yeah because i'm fucking fucking lock me up and throw away the goddamn key did you you have any sweet dinners out in Chicago with the foreplay boys? I went out for drinks with Witt, Will Compton,

and Frankie. Oh my God. That crew. That crew. That was a good squad. We actually started a group chat after. That's a good hang. That's a hang to read about.

So does Will Compton and Riggs not get along? No, I think they do. I don't know. Riggs always has stuff he has to do. He's always got stuff. What the fuck does that mean? He's busy. He runs all the

fucking Arsenal Classics and organizes all that and the podcast. And, you know, it's the week of the Masters. So they have to keep all on that and uh while frankie and everyone else gets to go pound pound beers i guess we we went out late i don't know i don't know where what happened how the group formed or whatever but um that was the group and we went both nights and it was fun i'm going out this uh to chicago

this week and fucking next week. Jesus Christ. Ryan Whitney, I think, is the funniest person at the entire company. I'm not even... I would die on that hill. He told this story. He told... I don't know if I could say it. I won't say it.

Then let's say it. Why are you going to Chicago twice? First for this fucking content draft thing or whatever. The film festival? Yeah, the film festival. You're doing that? Well, I also have to be out there to shoot a fucking New Amsterdam commercial and record some NBA playoff shit. And then next week is the NFL draft, so I'm going out there for that, for the NFL draft show.

They canceled me from that as well. No. You're supposed to be the Patriots guy. No, they said, do you want to be the Bills guy? And then Jake Bass texted me, and he was like, do you actually like the Bills? And I was like, not anymore. Why did you say that? It could have been us in Chicago with Frankie and Witt telling stories.

Oh, fuck. It's a good squad. I didn't even think about that. God damn it. Will and I just sat around laughing at Whitney. That's all we did. Frankie's a good storyt Oh, fuck. It's good squad. I didn't even think about that. God damn it. Will and I just sat around laughing at Whitney. That's all we did. Frankie's a good storyteller, too.

Frankie's a really good storyteller. Sounds like a lot of glazing. Have you ever heard the Frankie story of doing his interview for the internship that led to him being the camera guy for Dave?

Pizza reviews? I don't think so. Don't tell it. Don't tell it, though. It's amazing. Yeah, hear it from him. No, no. I want you to tell it.

We'll save that for another time. We should have Frankie on this show. We'll do that on the Patreon. We should have Frankie on this show. That would be great. Yeah, we should have Frankie on this show. Frankie's funny. Frankie's very funny. Yeah. We should have Whit on this show. We should have Whitney on this show. We've had him on, haven't we? No. Yeah, we

have. What? We had him on one of our first episodes. One second. They were on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They We had them on one of our first episodes. They were on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They never come around anymore. No. What? You should see him talk about people, just people.

People we know? He's like, bloody. I mean, some of these fucking people. It's like, they don't know anything. Says the dude who plays golf like 10 days a fucking week i know i think you're as successful as spitting chiclets you can kind of make your own i heard that podcast is kind of falling off oh yeah yeah i heard that they that's why they have to start covering golf now i gotta cover two things i heard they're not on the rise like Son of a Boy Dad is, top podcast in New York City. Not at Barstool.

Full stop in New York City. All of New York. In all of New York City. Yeah. Move over. We're becoming like people are going to come into town and be like, I got to do Son of a Boy Dad while I'm in town. Yeah.

People are going to come for this. Because that will change my life forever. Like I'm doing Son of a Boy Dad, Gut town. Yeah. People are going to come for this. Because that'll change my life. Like I'm doing Son of a Boy Dad, Gut Field. Yeah. I'm going to do the The Tonight Show and Son of a Boy Dad.

I'm going to do a tight five on Fallon and then head on over to HQ3. Whoever is at SNL this week. Yeah, that's what that literally is what Jelly Roll did.

Jelly Roll was a real one for that. I know that was before your time before your time alright let's talk about game time game time the official ticketing partner of barstool sports it's NBA

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one of the three of us will also send you $20. By the way, the URL is GameTime.co Excuse me, not GameTime.com Still though, They get it. Bingo. But people just like us boys, though. That's the problem.

I know. They just like it when the three of us just fucking chopping it the fuck up. Just talking nonsense. Chopping it up, chopping it down. Chopping it up, chopping it down, chopping it whatever. Mowing it down. Didn't you say you had some shit from this weekend? Didn't you say you had some fun stuff that you've been doing?

Well, yeah. I mean, I went to Detroit, Royal Oak, Michigan. Detroit. Royal Oak. Eight mile? 12 mile. Oh. Was the sign I saw?

I don't understand how that shit works. Is it like the fucking blast radius? That's a good question. I don't know either. I don't know. I didn't understand how that shit works. Is it like the fucking blast radius? That's a good question. I don't know either. I don't know. I didn't ask those questions. Is it a latitudinal line? Bro, Detroit has a really good food scene.

The restaurants there are for real. Yes, they do. That's incredible. We went to an incredible restaurant called Mabel Gray. Yeah. Bartender saw us and he came out and he was like, what do you like to drink? And I was like, I don't know.

The groany old fashioned. These types of things. You know, I like a Manhattan, but if there's, and he's like, would you be interested in something a little more interesting? Can I kind of play? And I was like, please, go for it. Anytime a bartender wants to play, have at it.

Have at it. And he came out with this whiskey cocktail that he goes, it's got chartreuse and barrel-aged bourbon, and it's got jamerara syrup and cyanar. Cyanar. Yes, that's how Cleopatra died. Too much of it will kill you. And all these things.

And he goes, it's every ingredient that I would drink when I would black out put in one. He goes, it's all gas, but I don't drink anymore. So it's like... But when I did, these were the things I drank.

A Long Island iced tea for the sophisticated man. Yeah, it's a Long Island iced tea, but it's very balanced when i did these were the things a long island iced tea for the sophisticated man yeah it's a long island iced tea but it's very balanced it was amazing he gave me i had him write down the recipe for me i've been starting to do this if i have a cocktail i really like at a restaurant i have the bartender write down the uh cocktail recipe for me and i've started to compile a few that i really i wanted to do that this weekend because i had a sublime cocktail i i don't see any reason why they wouldn't be very flattered about it i i think with chefs it's a little more like asking a magician to reveal how he did a trick the answer is butter for chefs the answer is butter and salt every fucking time but with cocktail with with uh bartenders i think i think they

like that i think they're flattered And he also wrote his name down. And he had come up with a name for it. In fact, he called it The Most Dangerous Game. That's what he called it. Really? Yeah, that's the name of the cocktail. I'll read you the ingredients.

It was really delicious. Presented by Mattress Firm? Unjunk your sleep with this cocktail? The secret ingredient, melatonin. Get ready to unjunk your sleep after one drink of this. Six dashes of Angostura bitters, one and a half ounces of bourbon, a half ounce of Nola coffee liqueur, half ounce of Chinar. I think it's Chinar.

Maybe it's Chinar. Half ounce of chartreuse. Half ounce of cocai americano and lemon oil around the rim. This is from Max Skolbora, I think his name. Half ounce of cocai americano and lemon oil around the rim. This is from Max Skolbora, I think his name. Mabel Gray, Hazel Park, Michigan. Go see Max. So check out Max in Detroit, Oak Hill.

Go see him. 12 mile. Did they have a good, what kind of food were you eating? What was the menu? Changes every week. Changes every week. We got all kinds of stuff. It's sort of like one week it'll be sort of japanese fusion and then the next week it'll be french they mix it around chef is really lights out really high high praise you gotta get back out there stat you think you're gonna move to detroit you know i wondered about that every

time i go to a city i ask myself could i live here yeah could i live here what was the answer i don't know that i could live in detroit no it's not very nice you buy up a block there's that old meme where it's the it's the house without this the porch and the caption is just can't have nothing in detroit um i think it's still too dangerous i mean even the people that live there say we're not back yet there's definitely parts of detroit that aren't that dangerous though like people say that about new york and chicago they're like oh chicago is unlivable detroit was one of the cities that i genuinely felt unsafe in like walking to the club i was going to a rangers hockey game last sunday and uh i got off the subway i was with my wife and we came up the

stairs and it was a sort of bent staircase straight and then up to the left and sitting on the middle tier of stairs was a guy shooting a heroin needle into his arm interesting i had to walk by it i'd never seen that before damn have you guys ever seen someone shooting up heroin oh yeah i have in philly they would do it outside the studio where we recorded you could just look out the window and a guy will be shooting up and then like would drive off oh god driving off is gotta be an awesome drive feel free to cut me off i'm relaxed yeah all righty time to hit the road what do you think you listen to when you're on the when you're on a road trip on heroin i don't fucking frank sinatra yeah you're probably not listening to like willie nelson and florence and the machine yeah is it like I'm going up the country

when I want to go just nodding off road trip time it's gotta be sometimes I feel like I don't have a body yeah probably good one good one

that's music I was listening to that shit this weekend that's FUBU for heroin yeah yeah damn so what'd you guys do did you did you did you scold the guy I was listening to that shit this weekend. That's FUBU for heroin. Yeah, yeah. Damn. So what'd you guys do?

Did you scold the guy? You walked by it. I don't know, man. I would have scolded him. I don't like needles in general. I would have grabbed it and finished him off. Take it in, brother. It's only uphill from here.

Best you're going to feel all day. Need a friend? Got any more of that? Let me get that for you. Splitsky? Yeah, that's funny. It was a very stomach upsetting thing to witness. Did you cover your wife's eyes

like you were a little kid watching a movie with some horror? I did because we were going upstairs and I wanted her to be able to navigate the stairs with full vision. He's just taking medicine, honey. Yeah. Don't worry, honey. Look at that poor diabetic over there. Insulin's low.

Get him a snicker. He has to do that every day. Every single day he has to do it. Look at that. He's taking Ozempicic he probably used to be fat oh man that shit is nasty you see that i think it is getting worse though i will say that new york always say that we always say it ever since i moved here we've been saying that i don't know if it's just because i was walking around this week because it was nicer out but i was like the people like the crackheads were more annoying than they usually are well they're like and i

think that's their problem i don't care that they do crack spring yeah they're just like oh it's fucking nice weather let's like exchange pollen and yeah do crack but no one's ever complaining about like the heroin addicts no one ever like well the fucking heroin addicts are really pissing me off it's the crackheads because heroin addicts. No one's ever like, well, the fucking heroin addicts are really pissing me off. It's the crackheads. Because heroin addicts mind their own business. Yeah, they're in their own fucking world. And crackheads are just making their problem everyone else's problem.

Walking through Washington Square Park and they're just fucking in your face screaming at you. And you're like, please fucking stop. That could be garden variety mental illness, though. Well, it's mental illness from smoking crack all your life or it's crack from smoking mental illness fuck which is the it's the chicken or the egg you know that is true you never know which one is the but i don't i mean i mean these guys are fucking nuts it's nice and dumbo i don't know yeah i'm sure it's nice on that dirt road that you guys have to get to your apartment we have a lot of tourists yeah which i don't so many people don't speak english

i'm like we gotta close this border wall yeah all these people in prada taking photos of the manhattan bridge i'm like these fucking migrants are out of control well i'm surprised you guys don't have like a gate or something because you do have that like cobblestone street that you have to go down to get to your apartment yeah it's fucking brutal that's how you know it's a nice area cobblestone because the cobblestone and they're like putting it in yeah they did a whole project of restoring it yeah it's fucking beautiful you gotta come hang out you should come just walk and get a ice cream cone or something yeah come through come through. Have some ice cream with us. Yeah. Did I ever tell you there's that hot dog cart on the corner, the halal and hot dog cart?

And I just think to myself, man, they must make so much money because this is such a tourist hotspot. And there's not prices on there, so they're just like, eh, $14. But did I ever tell you that when I worked at the DA's office as a paralegal, one day I got to sit in on a pre-trial, pre-plea hearing. They used to call it queen for a day. Yeah. Gay for a day?

Yeah, sure. I used that joke already. We've had this conversation before. Did I tell you, though, that this guy – Probably not. This guy – this is not the one that defended himself. defended himself this guy came in and he had been racking up uh violations for his hot dog stand operating it without a proper license or certificate or whatever and over the course of two years of tickets he owed the city 785 000 holy shit and he goes what am i going to do i sell hot dogs

785 000 i mean that is like when you open up a hot dog stand, your first thought is probably, well, it can't get any worse than this. And then next thing you know, you owe the government $700,000. The fine is not – they don't apply it with any context. It's the same as if someone opened up a store on Fifth Avenue and started selling Nike t-shirts without a license or something like that. So, you know, he's getting in with these outrageous fights. And then he'll move his cart to another place in the city, get it there, and so on. What did he do?

Well, they were like, can you pay any of it? And he was like, how much? I sell hot dogs. And they were like, $2.50? were like 250 15 000 he's like no yeah so i don't know i don't i can't remember how that resolved but i felt bad for him you that guy just has to change his identity he just got to switch his first and his last name yeah he went to prison for life it was just also one of those things that was like the guy that shot the cop is out but this guy's in jail but clearly the law was so out of touch with the reality um much like when you know those guys were getting life

sentences for having three marijuana convictions or whatever yeah many of whom by the way did you see that uh eric adams was giving the first recreational marijuana licenses in New York to people that had been convicted of marijuana charges for prison time and stuff. That shit is interesting. It's kind of cool. But did you see that guy that went on Joe Rogan? And he was brought on by this prison reform activist. Oh, yeah. And he spoke for like four hours eloquently about how he was – there was this miscarriage of justice that why he even wound up in jail.

And then two weeks after he got out, he just killed somebody. Yeah, I did see that. He like brutally killed them too. He like sawed their head off or some shit. That was the day that Joe Rogan fired his booker. Yeah. It was a gang rival. That, talk about cold revenge.

Yeah. The guy waited years and years fooled everybody got onto rogan and i'm still gonna kill you damn that shit is hilarious for the wrong reasons should have just did heroin fucking minded his own goddamn business i know dude so i went to iceland this weekend oh my god it was fucking dude but everybody everybody's just comparing the trip to yours really either they're either like sass did it better really i was in this exact same spot or did it better or sass could never fucking travel like i did i did a lot of the stuff that you did up until when you went out east i so i exclusively went east i went directly east from but you went to vick yeah vick is east no vick is south well

it's east it's east of reykjavik everything is east reykjavik is on the far west coast yeah so everything was going to vick that was like kind of central well i guess yeah but it's not east iceland oh it's east of where or whatever yeah i went east this is semantics um i did i did the black sand beach i did self-os and i did vic yes yeah then i didn't do anything else that you did that shit was sweet though yeah uh the i ate reindeer that shit was good dude i didn't know they fucking mortal sin's like a mortal sin. No, they eat... Horse is their third biggest thing that they eat there. Or as far as the meats, it's lamb, fish, and horse are the three biggest meats that they eat. I eat horse and I eat whale.

Really? Yeah, whale steak. It's a mortal sin. They said it's quite good. It's good. I thought horse was delicious. Yeah, zebra's good. I had zebra this past year, and fucking that was delicious.

It's the same shit, except for one's got stripes. Right. Are you allowed to eat zebra? I was in South Africa, bro. Oh, yeah. I feel like that's a big no-no. Why? No, anything goes over there.

Also, zebra, when you go over there, you realize that zebra are not the ones we need to protect. There are a lot of them. There are so many. I'd love to see a zebra. And they're fucking chatty. Yeah, they're annoying. Yeah, kill so many and they're fucking chatty yeah they're annoying yeah kill those fucking things they run their fucking gums yeah they run their mouths at all times it's fucking but i couldn't find horse on any menu oh the most rare thing i saw was this

reindeer it's crazy it was a good amazing tender amazing tender oh i'm getting all juicy imagine oh we got to go to fort charles and get some fucking reindeer we got to see if they'll fucking import some reindeer for us but they were it's a very uh it's a very mythical land we went on like a super jeep tour the one day and uh my wife asked the guy he's like i heard you guys believe in uh elves and he was like i would never say elves don't exist yeah he was like adamant he was like i would never say elves don't exist yeah he was like adamant he's like i would never say that they don't exist and it's like a big part of their culture they think that elves just live in the rocks like this is like a 65 year old guy with the jeff cap on he's not like some hippie dippy long-haired icelandic like viking descendant

he's like well put together spent time all over the world very worldly and he's like i would never say they don't exist they just and they say you're not even supposed to throw a rock in iceland because they're afraid or you could hit an elf holy shit i'm worried that it would hit an elf trying to think if i threw any rocks while i was there did you i don't think so. Well, be sure. I don't think I did. Because your ass might not be welcome back. I don't think I threw any rocks.

Imagine if you went through customs and they're like, we heard on your podcast that you threw an elf. It's the elf killer. You killed an elf. So how was it? Was it sick? The gulls looked awesome. I was pounding gulls. Gulls are great.

Yeah, we had some gulls on the Black Sand Beach. It was fucking just a nice vacation. Did you drink on the beach? There's like a little cafe there with like glass windows that was right there. Must be new. What was that snow situation? Yeah, I know. That's what I was curious about.

That must have been east. Well, they have the same saying. I had to guess that was east. They must have just gotten this saying because five different people said it to us. They're like, you know what they say in Iceland. If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change. It's like, bro, they have that saying in Chicago, Los Angeles, Portland, Oregon. They say that shit everywhere.

But we were driving through some tumultuous. Yeah, it looked crazy. Snowstorms, just breaking down the drake track though really i heard i don't know if it was you or your wife that posted the story but it was like you guys driving through the snow and then you could just hear the 808s like ringing in the back and i was like that's hilarious music to be listening to right now in a snowstorm and we literally listened to it like 12 times because she she wasn't comprehending how good it was. So I had to fucking sit her ass down and fuck him. I literally went bar for bar. Then the Rick Ross one came out.

She's like, break it down for me. Are you able to listen to that without looking at a lyric sort of deciphering table and know every reference that Drake is making? Pretty much. Wow. That's amazing. I pretty much knew. Some of them it took a second to think about it, but pretty much everything I understood. I would say that I did not understand 94% of it.

Well, you've not been keeping up with like the J. Cole and the Kendrick and all that stuff. I mean, I have a pretty surface level understanding of it all. Because I was keeping track of that. And then my friend Bo was like, sent me a thing and he didn't understand it and then i sent him like a 20 paragraph with screenshot like breakdown of it and then he just never you broke it down yourself i broke it i broke down the j cole diss track to him and he didn't understand any of it and then he never even i don't think he ever even read it bastard i know there's just yeah there's always a nerdy guy on like genius yeah yeah what j cole

meant here i love doing i love looking at those it is interesting i was going i mean it's way more interesting when you know it line by line and you didn't listen to the drake one i listened to like half of it why why i thought it wasn't real everyone was commenting and saying this is ai no that you would have been able to tell if it was ai there's too much like nuance and like interesting writing in it and he's like referencing things i'll listen to it after this like you think some like fucking like rap fan who likes ai could just write up a verse that would be comparable to him because i tried to do that with kendrick saying that he had a response it was fucking terrible yeah but at some point if drake just gets bored he could either have ai do this or he could get out of trouble by saying

i didn't say those things ai did it but i think that there's still a standard of writing ai will just make his voice sound like that like for now but it's getting better i didn't realize that the meek mill p diddy thing was ai the them fucking no no no not that the one the the one where meek mill says uh i hope they forgive me for what i did with diddy oh but that's like just a sentence this is this is like nuanced this is poetry but it sounded exactly like him but i'm but i'm saying that it's easy to write the text of that like ai is just it's not writing the text. Someone's just plugging text into an AI and it's saying it similarly. That makes sense. There was – you know how Iceland is ice, Greenland is green?

Yeah. Exactly. I feel like that's their whole – No, it's the opposite. Opposite. Other way around. Yeah, Greenland is all ice. Greenland's ice.

But I feel like that trickiness is how they just name everything like that like trickiness is how they uh they just name everything like that like uh we went to the blue lagoon yeah and there's like a slushy drink and the drink was literally called crap just k-r-a-p or there's like food called like salt scum like just this disgusting shit or like everything is just supposed to be like shrouded in like secrecy or like the coolest waterfalls will be called like hip that a move for the dog and it's like a tape on reverse it's just a mythical interesting uh interesting land did the money confuse you no i just swiped everything i didn't even take any money out yeah because i and i had no idea how much i was spending until the very end of it. Yeah. Bad?

No, not that bad. It's pretty expensive. I mean, I spared no expense the entire time, and I don't feel like I spent that much. It's not super fancy. Yeah, there's nothing crazy fancy. How was Hotel Vic? You didn't like it? I mean, the food was good.

It didn't live up to your expectations? I mean, Francis food was good. It didn't live up to your expectations? I mean, Francis will tell you. I'll stay at some of the best hotels in the world, brother. Yeah. Hotel Vic was beautiful. The Borgo San Andrea. The fucking Amman. Did the shower water smell like dog shit?

Some of them did, yeah. At the hotel Rangit, it did. Yeah. Sulphur, yeah. So funny. Are you sure you stayed at the hotel vic positive really yeah the one with all the glass doesn't sound like you i don't know i did it was like 400 for one night i feel like there were nicer hotels though how would you guys stay in the like there was just like two twin beds pushed together no we got a three-person bedroom really there was one that was like i slept in like a cot pretty much and then bo and mad shared a bed yeah i don't know i'd have to i want to see a picture of it of exactly

where it was because i guess the lobby looked like it where you guys were smashing girls dude there's only there's like one hotel in vic there's a couple dude and one of them is called hotel vic okay that is true and that's the one that i stayed at my main takeaway is that i'm that must have been it must have been really nice i need a tissue the one that you need a tissy no you're good my main takeaway is that i'm just like exhausting to travel with really i would just like god bless my fucking wife because she doesn't really bother her but uh i'm just i would just like god bless my fucking wife because she doesn't really bother her but uh i'm just i could just tell that i'm like too much yeah i'm just like i can't do the icelandic accent so i'm still doing like the south african accent for my last

trip just driving around she's like i talk normal i can't understand what you're saying you were bringing you were doing accents the whole time i'm just too much dude i just know i just know that about myself because i'm just way too fucking much of a like i'm waking up like putting on the clown makeup in the mirror as i prepare for another day to do like annoying jokes and like fucking like shitty fucking puns and fucking that's hilarious cracking jokes for only her enjoyment the entire day what was the what was your favorite thing that you did i mean there's just some beautiful like you you see waterfalls i don't want to say i saw too many waterfalls but there's just some beautiful i mean there's one where there's just a fucking rainbow in front of the water was that self-off self-off was the big one that i saw i saw a couple but that was the

best one by far was there like stairs next to it yeah there was a rainbow in front of you yeah there was a rainbow at self-off when you went yeah it blew my it yeah there was a rainbow in front of you yeah there was a rainbow at cell phones when you went yeah it blew my mind yeah the fact that more people weren't having their mind blown yeah it i was like what are you guys not fucking seeing what i'm seeing this shit made i was coming that story that you posted of the dude standing in front of the waterfall was that you with the crazy fit on yeah yeah that was you yeah no it wasn't no it's some but i saw that too it was a photographer taking like pictures yeah some shit dude everyone that goes to that waterfall they're all dressed in like like they're about to fucking summit everest yeah and they all

have like gopros on i thought that was you in that photo too i wanted it to seem like it was me unless you didn't call me to the carpet on this well it's just funny that they do that yeah he was taking pictures. He was like a French guy. And he had like a tour guide company on the back or something like that. But he wouldn't let us stand there because he was taking like a long exposure picture of himself doing the shit. It was pretty sweet, though. Just a beautiful country. Yeah, that is sick.

I wish I had some fucking horse, though. I didn't see the Northern Lights either. Or try horse or whale, so I got to go back. Yeah, it's tough to see the Northern Lights. I just don't even know if I would ever really want to go during the season when the Northern Lights happen. That's when it's the most packed, right? I don't know. Well, it's just dark.

They said summertime is the most packed. Oh, yeah. Sorry, what am I saying? Northern Lights is winter. I think it's just dark constantly. That's when it has to be completely pitch black. Yeah, that shit is tough. Yeah. And they said summertime's a zoo.

But that's when Justin Bieber filmed those music videos. Oh, really? My life is a movie. You never saw that video? No. And everyone's watching. Didn't they shoot a bunch of Game of Thrones there, too? At the Black Sand Beaches, brother.

That's right. Fuck. Beautiful geological formations. It really gives you a scope of how fucking, how we're not in charge of Mother Earth. Exactly.

What did you think of the people there? Did you find them attractive? I mean, either. Their faces are square. I didn't find them attractive at all, yeah. They're very... I thought I was in a game of Roblox, bro. Yeah, yeah it's like uh

are they were they nice or were they well did you did you people did did you did you get that thing that i was saying about when you walk into a restaurant they're all silent they didn't do that but i the only like pub pub i went to that wasn't like a restaurant they fucking double charged us really got like a capital one like notification that they double charged me and i tried to go through capital one they're like well it's better if you call the fucking restaurant it's like dude they're in iceland how am i gonna call this puppy like you double charge me so i guess i don't know so people were like chatty not really chatty but i wasn't really trying to start up that many conversations i was just like i kind of had in

mind what you said, so I was more polite to people, so they just had to fucking be nice to me. Interesting. They had no choice but to fucking be nice to me. You broke them down. I wasn't chatting up with strangers. I wasn't chatting up with strangers either.

But they were just nasty to you? No, they weren't nasty. They were just all super quiet. Yeah. Like, I never heard them having a conversation. There's 300 days of rain there every year they just have to be a sad people yeah that's tough that's what happened when i went to hotel vic when i checked in i was like how's it going and she was like it'll get better and i was

like she's like it's been rain it's rained every single day for the last month really yeah you had good weather we had yeah it was like one sunny day, one snowy day. Yeah. Did you guys read that short story when you were kids about that sort of society where it rains all the time? And then after many, many years, the sun comes out for like an hour. And there's one girl that grew up on earth or something where she had experienced sunshine but all the other kids had not. And they bully her because they are jealous. And they lock her in a closet

and forget for that moment when the sun comes out. And they all go out and see it. And then they come back in and realize that they forgot to let her out. What is the moral of that story? I think it's a bullying thing. Don't bully the girl who saw a sun?

Yeah. Yes. What the fuck is that story? Who would write that? It's really sad. I never forgot it. I've never heard that one. That had to be written by an Icelandic bro.

Definitely. Probably, yeah. Ireland's similar. At least the Irish, like, fuck it, get shit hammered. Yeah, they do. When I was in Iceland, I met a bunch of people that day.

Don't they? No. A lot of people that I met in Icelandeland like live they moved there from ireland really yeah i mean even in vic they were like vic is uh like a hundred years old as a town it's tiny as fuck yeah and it's close enough to a volcano that's like twice overdue and the only wall that's keeping the fucking the glacier from melting is this like tiny little hill that they have no idea if it will protect this town so like the whole town could get wiped out fully damn which is fucking terrifying so it's like i don't know why you live in most of these places yeah but you could say the same thing about tornado alley that's true but I guess tornadoes are frequent like the fact that like one of these

volcanoes could just wipe some shit out they don't explode like they do in the movies though right where it's lava just shooting into the sky they said you have a three hour even if even if you miss all the like warning signs you have three hours to get out of Dodge.

But I think they do. I mean, shit does shit. In Walter Mitty, they make it seem like it's a two-second gap. Yeah. Yeah. That scene. I remember that scene. Yeah, we went on some tours where we were right under the base of some volcanoes that were due to erupt.

And I was fantasizing about having all of us to get out of there. It was us, italian family a chinese family and like a lone chinese guy and just like i just wanted to who would take on what roles if we were just fucking out there in the wilderness i think you'd have to leave the first i feel like i would yeah the strong white strong white man had some strong whites. And the Chinese guy. I might have been eaten first, honestly. The Chinese guy would be like, Adoraba!

It burn! Just some casual racism in the episode. Gotta sprinkle it in at some point. Yeah, it was long overdue. A Chinese-Ilandic guy. Dude, I wish I could do

the Icelandic accent though. I feel like I... It's very difficult. It's just sounds. I should have fucking looked it up beforehand. Yeah. Like I did in South Africa

so I was ready. In South Africa I was prepared for it. But I was saying to him while you were going, I'm just exhausting to travel with, dude. I like ran out

of the Icelandic accent so i was going back to the south african accent for my last trip it's so fucking much dude i was just so i just was just realizing to myself like i'm so over the top dude i'm exhausting even like i was texting sass like yeah just shit in the blue lagoon just like making up lies i was like bro i have to stop lying like i didn't just stop being a liar i was like lying to my wife about i don't know if i replied to that yeah because you're just like all right i was like how is it he goes i just shit in the blue lagoon i was all right yeah that's exhausting i exhaust myself i just took a shit yeah blue lagoon yeah south african accent it's so funny but it's just, man, it's tough being me, bro.

It is. It's tough living in this fucking hellscape of a head. Bored as hell, just making up lies to people. Dissatisfied with my own boredom and the sound of my own voice. I'm jealous. I want to go back to Iceland. Well, instead you guys are going to be Montana boys. I know.

It's so lame. Wyoming. You know who the Montana boys are? No. They're the dudes who just like line up and like mouth the lyrics of a song. Oh, really? And one of them is dating Kristen Cavallari from Laguna Beach. Wow.

Damn. They're like 21-year-old. You don't know the Montana boys? Never heard of them. I think they're going to be in the office this week. Yeah. For Tommy. Cool. All right. them i think they're gonna be in the office this week yeah for tommy cool um all right that's been son of a boy dead i want to be in new brunswick this weekend if you april 20th one night i don't care where the fuck is new brunswick new jersey it's where

records is it's like an hour away. Tickets are selling well, actually. I'm going to be in Baltimore at the Port next weekend, April 25th to the 27th. Those will be gone. So tickets at francissells.com. Pop Punk is going on tour. Please come see us. The tickets are selling actually surprisingly well.

I just got a text message about them. well i just got a text message about them we're gonna be in chicago columbus nashville dc philly uh chicago is in on may 31st come see that never had to plug anything before this is pretty fucking sweet it is it feels great is fucking incredible. I feel like I'm having an impact. Just getting it off your chest. Yeah. Probably like that, those words alone probably sold

thousands. At least 100 tickets. Big time. All right. Thank you guys for listening. Goodbye.