Son of a Boy Dad - IndiaNa | Son of a Boy Dad #201

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

IndiaNa | Son of a Boy Dad #201 -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Ad: Get 20% Off + Free Shipping, with the code SON at https://Manscaped.com. -- Ad: Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE at https://Fitbod.me/BOYDAD. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. People die everywhere out here, though. What street haven't people died in, and what house haven't people fucked in? Oh my god, that's so poetic. All right, should we start? Shrinkflation.

Shrinkflation's crazy for whores, dude. There used to be so much whore in a bag, and now you open up a bag of whores, and there's only like 25% of the whores that you used to get. Yeah. The bag feels fuller. Yeah. They trick you.

It's the air. They gas these whores up. Isn't it funny how throwing dollar bills at a strip club has always just been a dollar? Yeah, poor whores. And it's never increased with inflation. I think there are places where they give you twos now. Oh, yeah.

And you know what that's done is it has absolutely decimated the tooth fairy industry. Yeah. Because the tooth fairies rely on $2 bills. Yes, tooth fairies love twos. Or like kitschy old men who keep a wallet full of twos twos are great uh the back of the two has the signing of the declaration of independence i believe and what i love about that is that it's the one bill that has just this huge scene of lots of lots of yeah tons of dudes tons of dudes historic dudes robert livingston john jay no did you that sounds right

did he yeah i think that's right all right ready haven't we started i don't know we never did the intro people get really confused when we don't do the intro well just like this this is like the pre-credit scene dynamic warm-up and i can tell this is going to be a good episode because even the warm-up felt like good good stuff i wasn't paying attention at all because i thought we weren't we hadn't started yet you don't pay attention to our regular i didn't even oh god no and i didn't even have my microphone close to me i was like he didn't pay attention because he didn't think it was a time for him to talk yet exactly yeah yeah all right we are here live from, welcome back. Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast.

Today it is May 20th. Oh, wow, look at that. Episode 202. Episode 202. What happened on May 20th? Was Osama bin Laden killed on May 20th? I was outside that day. Right? Wasn't he killed on May 20th? I was wearing jeans. wasn't he killed i was wearing jeans it's close it's close i was wearing jeans and a stoli vodka shirt and we had a sign that

said honk because we killed bin laden we were outside we were drinking beers may 2nd ah not that close not that close i had a zero we missed it what'd you every year i forget yeah we need to start celebrating i always tell myself i'm gonna go watch some grainy porn yeah with my seven children around the uh like we celebrate the nasty things that happened in our history like january 6 september 11th october 7th we need to start celebrating the fucking the good things yeah when what did you how did you guys find out that bin laden died word of mouth a guy rode through town

on a fucking horse he was ringing a bell our town crier started going crazy did you guys cry when you found out no I bawled cried like a baby yeah I was rooting for him oh tears of

sadness it's like in movies when you root for the bad guy yeah yeah man end of an era like robert de niro and goodfellas you know as long as i didn't know he was dead i could still believe there was a chance at reconciliation i remember my dad came into my room and told me at like 6 a.m. Really? Yeah. Wake up, boy. Yeah, he said they killed Bin Laden. And I said, who's Bin Laden?

Now he said they killed Bin Laden, then he did a whole demonstration for me. He was kicking down doors and shooting him. The beautiful dogs. Yeah, it was great and you were like you you started crying over this letter that you've been reading that he had written yeah but what about these beautiful words he said about the imperialistic nature of america i i actually do remember our our we had uh my social studies teacher that that day we like had a big meeting and she was like crying you're like come on relax

well how do you know you don't know you i mean i presume this was near boston right yeah those bad guys they flew they flew out of boston true yeah she maybe she might have known so maybe she knew someone who was supposed to be on the flight where she probably knew the tsa agent everyone in america Didn't even touch them going in. Yeah, I was supposed to be on that flight. Must have been a big ass plane for how many people were supposed to be on that flight. It was. Wasn't it going to LA?

I don't know. Must have been like a fucking. The Titanic. Yeah. They were going to California, I think. They were going across the country. It would have been a big flight. Yeah.

Yeah. How many people were on the flight? Was it like a hundred some? No, it wouldn't have been an A380. Oh, A380s go across the country? They go across the country it would have been a big flight yeah yeah how many how many people were on the flight was no wouldn't have been an a380 oh a380s go across the country they go across the world it's true they do you're not you're not thinking straight i'm thinking they were probably 777s 777 is a big plane though yeah that's what i'm saying strong bow but it's not an a380 it's not an air bus now brother you're talking to a guy who has an A380 model plane in his apartment. Seats 998 people. Largest passenger plane in the world. Francis seems like he knows about his shit too, though.

I know. I'm surprised about your knowledge. Well, I used to pull out the... When they had the foldout that had the different types of planes. They don't stock those in the backs of seats anymore. No. No, they sometimes do. Oh, really?

Yeah, I've seen them. I'll read them every time. I would, I, well, it got to a point for me where I would open it up and someone had come before me and circled the one that they would hijack. And I said, this is a little dark, you know, that's probably, they thought it was a roadmap. Yeah, yeah. I don't like looking at them that much because i feel like people are people it raises some questions when you're just staring at this pamphlet like describing all the parts of the plane for like 30 minutes straight yeah

dude by the way people who will do the crossword puzzle in the sky magazine complete it and then put it back in the seat that's one of the most braggadocious things i've ever seen i didn't even know there was a crossword in the sky magazine i didn't even know that what the sky magazine is it's kind of a goodwill hunting-esque it's just like leaving the problem solved on the blackboard and walking away yeah yeah why would you fill out the crossword puzzle in a fucking brilliant airplane and not want anybody to know that it was you yeah well that's exactly right if i were to do it i would leave it sign it oh i would sign my name for sure and then my how much time it took yeah my timing yeah i

wrote my email down it was a short flight it was new york to boston my instagram handle DM me for dick. Smart dick. Women are dying for smart dick. I was banging out some crosswords. I was on Friday night, or no, it was Thursday night. I was going to go fishing on Friday. Of course. And then I had a case of the can't sleeps because I'm too excited. And I had to cancel the Tourette

because I could not fall asleep. It was 4.30 in the morning. You were too excited to fish? I was too excited. Damn. I was thinking I was, and then I would close my eyes and I was just picturing all the holes

and what I was going to throw into them. And I was like, I'm going to, I was like eyes, I'm like eyes closed for an hour. I'm still wide awake. Yeah. Just being like,

I'm going to have to stop at the fly shop in the morning. So I should probably set my alarm for earlier. and then it got to a point where i was like okay i'm gonna get two hours of sleep and i have four spots tonight yeah but i didn't sleep at all last night and i still i never miss fishing true i didn't get in i didn't get in the uh a river runs through it you probably don't and i have no idea what the fuck you're talking about you can sit no i did i was was but that's one of the best things about about having a hobby

is the time you spend as you're going to bed thinking about it like if you're going if you don't have like something that's like that you're working on or that you can think about as you go to sleep your mind turns to darkness you start thinking about like the people who have wronged you in your life or fucking things that are owed to you or what

people might or probably are thinking about you i think a man has to have something that they think about constructively as they fall asleep or they will fall into disrepair yeah i mean the only two things that i think about are comedy and fishing so when i'm going to bed it's either and planes it's either i know not really planes but it's really i it's either i suck at comedy or i suck at fishing and those are the thoughts racing through my head every night does that affect the dreams that you have oh yeah big time like you have worse dreams when you think negatively about stuff yeah it's not even just negatively it's more i'm always just trying to think about what i can do to be better i had like some really positive thoughts before bed the other night and it gave me the best

every dream i had was awesome really wow i've been having some vivid dreams lately yeah yeah what are you on tonin a little bit here and there l-theanine oh yeah you've been on the l-theanine what do you think about before bed? As you doze. Hip mobility. I think even lying here in bed, my hips feel very tight. And my whole Instagram feed now is just men showing me different exercises to mitigate lower back pain.

Have you got one of those things that's like this? It's like that thing and you sit on it or you lay on it are you talking about a horseshoe stretches out your hip flexors people say it's people say it works wonders i have not i haven't seen that one but if we speak loudly enough i'm sure i'll get an ad for it the thing that's like this for your hip flexors yeah uh yeah people say it works wonders for the hips yeah i'll send that your way the my videos are typically like three or four extremely svelte guys saying you know do these four exercises and you'll find you'll have no more back pain in four weeks and then i bookmark that thing and then i never watch it again yeah but i do i

do do some of them the couch stretch has been really helpful which one's that do a demonstration oh yeah you want to see it oh everyone's getting up oh you know it yeah that's close that's it that's close it's this one where you put your knee like flush to a joint and then lean back like that. And that stretches your hips. Hips, lower back and you can kind of like

hold this book and knit it. That's very interesting. It counteracts all the sitting that we're doing. That's a good stretch. We do so much sitting. You and I, we were on planes all the time and these types of things are really good yeah for get once you get off a plane if you can kind of force so do you do will you do that like in the airport or will you wait no i'll wait

till i get home i'm a freak i don't want people in the airport being like why is this guy warming up goggins would do that that's that you know the terrorist did a fucking full full sound full round of hip flexor mobility before there must be something nice though about about to be going through

with a terrorist attack and you probably you're just like I'm gonna eat McDonald's for every meal right I'm gonna crush

the halal car yeah exactly like you're not you don't have to stay in trim that's a fair point you probably go to the airport

and you're probably like, Jolly Ranchers, Doritos, McDonald's, Wendy. You're probably just hitting all of it. But you think that there was like a fifth terrorist who fell asleep in his seat because he overate? Just a fat load terrorist who's like, my stomach

kills. I'm also so vain that I'd be like, everybody on this plane is going to be looking at me and i want them to respect me when i'm like stay in your seats shut up do not push that drink cart towards me i didn't not eat fucking mcdonald's the drink cart seems to be the main the main weapon battering ram yeah it's good battering because that thing is like thor's hammer yeah we've gotten hit by the by the fucking oh yeah they do it on purpose sometimes absolutely yeah ding your fucking elbow your elbow and it's as if to say i know you were

probably thinking yeah me versus oklahoma drill me versus drink cart i think i could take it i need to see a spring break video of the of the drink cart versus a spring breaker i need to see like a buff girl getting up from a fucking full lay down going against the drink cart they should literally build houses out of drink carts yeah just cans of cran apple exploding everywhere and no you put them in oklahoma yeah you're fucking weathering the storm i mean they are so heavy yeah they're you could tell even just by the way that they push them that are like oh like they're it's like maybe the plane's slightly tilted you're like this thing is seconds away from just rolling to the back of the plane that's right yeah cleaning out the line for the bathroom i've always been i've always been

confused by uh decapitation of course um you're talking to a survivor right now me yeah i was almost decapitated as a child how so guillotine biking ran neck first into a into a wire oh yeah i got clothes lined off my bike from my neck i had a gash on my neck yes that's right that happened at that friend's house the kid who yes exactly yeah we did a whole episode on that one time. We did a whole episode on that, yeah. That was fun. How's he doing? Great. Yeah. Why were you thinking about decapitation? Well, I remember reading, I think it was a Michael Crichton book spelled Crichton.

Yes. Yes, of course. Did he write Jurassic Park? No. He couldn't have. That was... C-R-I-C-H-T-O-N. It can't have been. He did write the-i-c-h-t-o-n it can't have been he did write what yeah come on this is what a pull that is a pull what a fucking pull um you're supposed to know things like that run he uh he wrote a book about an airplane crash and i remember from the early scenes that um the plane goes down and the turbulence had gotten so bad that someone wasn't strapped in and they flew up out of their seat and hit their head on the thing and it decapitated them.

Yeah. Obviously, this is a novel, but I always wondered about that. in some ways, I don't understand how you could get decapitated unless we, okay, unless something truly ran through your neck and severed your head from your neck. But then I also know that the head is quite heavy and it's perched on a rather thin bundle of sinew. But wouldn't you assume there would need to be some sort of sharp object like that's what i'm saying and but i don't think it is that way i think you can get decapitated uh just by having it something hit you hard enough on the head and just pop it off but i think you wouldn't get enough of a running start maybe it's built maybe your body's built

like a car like how it's built to crash so it's like if you get in the right place your head just pops off yeah that's what i can easily reattach it i'm kind of wondering uh they talk about um there was one there was a i think there was a boy on a roller coaster yeah and i think that the roller coaster oh i can't remember exactly what happened. I think his hat had flown off and he went over a fence back. Yeah.

And I think the roller coaster hit him and it decapitated him. That makes sense because the roller coaster is going fast. But he's still not... It's not as if the car of the roller coaster is running through his neck and slicing his head off.

That is just a full-blown like... Dandelion pop the top off i think that your first mistake is trusting fucking michael crichton the guy who told us that fucking dinosaurs could come back through a fucking amber bead the suspension of disbelief that crichton always relies on is fucking asking a ton from his reader. Yeah. And you have to, it's like a Harry Potter book.

They're just like, you have to just be like, yes, that wands, or it will create a spell. I think I wouldn't have brought this up if I didn't remember that there was at least another example I'd heard of someone being decapitated,

not by having a blade run through their head or a wire in Harry's case. Yes. Decapitation is just so juicy. Can't we just rely on somebody's head getting caved in? Couldn't their head have just gotten caved in to death? I think we've immortalized decapitation as a result of the Headless Horseman,

Sleepy Hollow, Ichabod Crane. I think we love that image. We love it. I just always picture like ISIS, the headings. Yeah, and that's Blade for sure. Yeah. They did all different kinds of Blades. I was a Faces of Death guy in college

and they were like doing it with a fucking, like a plastic knife, stabbing it off. Worst video that stuck with me the most in my life was i watched on lime wire a russian soldier having his head cut off and it's as if they're doing it with a bread knife yeah and he's screaming the whole time and i watched it i was probably 11 yeah i watched some fucked up shit mine was columbine i watched the entire ever i watched all that i watched the entire shooting of columbine at my grandma's house on my eye touch when i was like 10 the shooting of it fucked me up tremendously for a long time that's all i thought

i would have nightmares every single night that actually contextualizes you a ton yeah i don't know why i did it it was like it was just one of those things that when you're young and you just watch something and you're like well i'm gonna watch the whole thing free world we're living in a free society yeah that's why that's one of those times when you're like damn i wish i grew up in china yeah yeah that was one thing that i watched where as soon as i finished i was like shouldn't have done that that was a massive mistake not because there's not mass killings in China. It's because the Chinese don't let you

watch what you want to on your phone. Not because you would have avoided the mass killing. Yeah, that was a live leak. I believe. Now you can just find it on Twitter. Yeah, true. Now it's just on the front page of your Twitter. I got a cool technological update

having to do with law and order. A friend of mine, someone I know who is involved with local politics and stuff like that, told me that he'd sat recently or maybe he'd watched a town council meeting happen or something in LA County. a town council meeting happened or something in LA County where the, they were taking a vote and presenting the police forces presenting this case of how they're going to start using drones in lieu of police cars for police chases. And think of this. So, uh,

someone, you know, takes off on a police chase. You got 12 cars running down the highway. Lots of damage. They're trying to ram the car off the road. There's a lot of civilian risk. All of that.

There's a helicopter that they put up in the air to chase them. That's going to cost $5,000 to $10,000, whatever, for the county. Now, what they're talking about is just throwing up a drone in the air. The drone just follows the car to wherever it's going, until it runs out of gas or it stops.

Especially because those drones, you can literally just have it focus on an object. You don't even have to control it. And it's just following it until that car stops or the guy gets home or goes to some hideout place. And then it just hovers there. And now the police can go, and not only can they go to exactly where that is, but they can see from the video, the overhead video of the drone, exactly what they're getting themselves into. So they see whether the person is armed, how many people he's got with him, if he's doing any sort of like meth or whatever it may be and uh they can then prepare and go in

with the necessary amount of force to subdue that person and the drone costs like 13 cents to put up in the air yeah of like battery power that's insane and um the big controversy was whether or not they thought they should equip the drones with tasers to subdue the car chasing person uh before the police even got there yeah but there was always i guess this fear of kind of what are the drones flying at are they flying right above the car i don't think they're super high up i don't think these are yeah i don't like say you went into a mall parking deck or something like that like is the drone going to follow behind the car into the parking deck or are they just above the parking deck and then you can just scramble it's a good question and a good point as to where someone being chased

by a drone should probably go right that was my first yeah i was gonna say a tunnel the tunnel's a good one yeah tunnel yeah tunnel's a good one then then you just get another drone and you you put one on both sides yeah or do can criminals now get some anti-drone technology? Yeah, that's called a light breeze. That's called a bum with a rock. What a nine iron. Fucking Titleist Pro V1. You ever see the fucking bums like trying to

knock drones out of the sky? Isn't there a YouTube channel where they just fuck with bums with drones? People just fuck up drones. I mean, i've seen drone drones outside my my apartment window that's because you guys have a good view of the city but it's gotta be a golden age for peeping toms these are these are these are close enough to me that they're they're not looking out they're looking in really yeah for sure that's crazy it's a golden age for perverts it is i saw a whole episode of a show about that

about perverts no about like it was like a law and i don't know what it was some fucking i was in a hotel and it was on tv but it was just like some dude was flying his drone into like neighbors yards and stuff was he was he spying on them or yeah he was taking photos of them yeah hot babes kind of sweet yeah babes shouldn't be fucking being hot inside their own house if they don't want to get droned exactly that's what you have curtains for you fucking whores whores being whores inside their own homes disgusting it fucking pisses me off to no end if i had a drone i would definitely be doing that shit it's always some up to trouble lady sunbathing in her fenced-in yard.

Yeah. And she sees the drone. She gives it the finger. Yeah, yeah. And then she just goes right back to sunbathing. Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah.

That's what you're hoping to see is a drone operator. Yeah, there's got to be. But they can regulate drones in a pretty strict way. Like a drone flew. Someone flew a drone at the Super Bowl house in or the super bowl hotel in miami and within five minutes like the fbi like the like local police like five different types of law enforcement were there cracking down just because a drone had gone in the air and it was like a restricted drone area yeah there's a lot of like no fly zones they got a restricted hot babes backyards yeah got it where's that have you seen the video that sydney

posted sweeney sydney wells of her casting oh yeah she's smashing the drone yeah i've ever told you about when we when i got a drone i don't think so but i was like it was like i was probably like 18 and my i got it we my dad got me a drone for christmas and it was like a cheap drone and we went outside to fly it and we crashed it immediately first flight first flight within 30 seconds just smacked it into a tree i have like video it's not on this phone but i have like video footage of it like coming down at us and we're both like sitting there like running away with our hands over our heads that's almost worth it it's hilarious i mean they were cheap they were like hundred dollar drones

yeah when you were 18 yeah there's like cheap ass drones yeah i mean there still is there's just there's a range you can get drones that don't have like video and they just fly around and they're like 10 bucks but you can also get like the seven thousand dollar ones that like people use for movies i wonder if it's that much more exhilarating to just to be creating your own peeping tom porn as opposed to just all of the porn that exists on the internet i'm sure it's pretty cool i'm sure if you're jerking off to like a live feed of your neighbor changing their clothes and their massive floor-to-ceiling window it's probably awesome yeah you're probably like man i know one i hope no one sees this massive drone with the loudest noise of all time coming off of it that's saying they're

not very discreet no but then if you had beef with another neighbor uh you could return the drone to his house yeah and make everyone think he had been the one. Yeah, put a tag on it. Leave a fake remote under his pillow or something. Yeah, that would be hilarious. That's pretty good. Yeah. I feel like it would have been a waste. It's actually a really funny sketch idea.

Yeah. Returning your drone after perving on someone to someone else's house. Follow that drone. The whole neighborhood has pitchforks and like you got a little remote in your pocket you're like yeah looks like it's heading for dan's house fucking damn get your guns he's always had a thing for you he's always talking about it planting evidence also the guy in uh spider-man could have had a way just i mean a subtler impervier arc if he just

the guy who's the who's the guy that like flew on a drone lantern was it the green oh no the green goblin green goblin green goblin yeah if he had just perved on people yeah i mean would it have been more villainous than fucking trying to destroy the city if he was just fucking floating by your window jerking off well he had like a hoverboard right yeah which is he basically had a ride-along drone yeah yeah it would be cool if you could just wrap the drone to each one of your feet yes just hovering on the 40 outside the 48th floor of like hudson yards cranking it out of his green suit drips down to the bottom someone's like wow someone's air conditioner unit is already on. It's the perfect city to jizz from 46 stories up in because everybody else is like,

it's not, it's just air conditioning. Yeah. No, that's the green goblin's jizz. Yeah. You fucking, don't be so naive.

If that's jizz, how come it's burning a hole in my shirt? Making it actually look a little more distressed. He definitely had some fucking primordial ooze coming out of his dick. That's right. He definitely had something nasty coming out of his cock. Dude, yesterday I woke up. This happened.

I woke up yesterday and I'm walking to go to the bathroom. And all of a sudden I hear someone. It sounds like someone's tuning a guitar. And I hear someone tuning. And I'm like, why does it sounds like someone's tuning a guitar and I hear someone like tuning and I'm like, why does it sound like it's coming from my living room? And then I walk out to my living room and there's a full band directly outside of my apartment and they're like getting ready to play music. And then like they, people start like gathering around and then they're like, we're going to be here from, it's like noon. I'm like, we're going to be here playing from one to four. And then from one to four, there was just a live band

directly outside of my window, blaring music. I couldn't do anything. They block partied you? Yeah. And it was like a hundred people gathered around listening and dancing. Yeah. They really held you hostage there. If only, if only you could have, I don't know, gone somewhere where out in the world it was sunday live mariachi band i wanted to watch the next game for three hours yeah i mean i'm thinking maybe hey texting a friend hey can i come over watch the game at your place or like want to meet at a bar and watch watch the game i wanted to watch workaholics and

then play legends of Apex multiplayer. What about noise canceling? You don't have noise canceling cans? Dude, this was so loud. It's a full band with amplifiers. Well, there's no other place you could watch. This was like Coachella was happening outside of my window. This wouldn't bother you guys?

During COVID, my wife got me for my birthday, a mariachi band to come sing outside of our window. And everybody gathered on their decks. They were like, play more songs. They couldn't get enough of it. No one had heard music in years. That's so beautiful. It was truly beautiful. They're like, play more songs. Your wife was like, I only paid for three. If you guys want to pitch in. Yeah, we'll pass a bucket on a string. We'll fucking hoist it up to you so you can give back to the mariachi band. So that was like the scene in Shawshank where he's fucking, music's the one thing they can't take away from us. It was. People were so excited.

People were, yeah, just drifting outside. They could not get enough of these mariachi bands. Sadly, they all died from having gone outside during COVID. Yeah, that'll do it. I hope those that weren't were deported. Round them up.

I forgot that you guys don't care. You guys probably wouldn't care about the live music because you guys both live on like the 48th floor of your apartment. Yeah.

10 stories up. Yes, it's the height of my apartment that makes me not care about live music. Oh, you mean in the street? Directly outside of your apartment. I recorded it.

While you're getting bands out on the street, I'm getting the sort of rhythmic thump from Dumbo House playing these pool party music songs. Wow, that sounds really nice. It was actually very nice, but it was pissing me off because i was trying to play video games and i couldn't yeah you're just trying to fucking talk shit you couldn't say your slurs into your headset no i couldn't no slurs they can't even hear my slurs can you i was thinking about how funny it would be if i just like hung up like a massive like trump 2024

flag outside my window just fucked up their entire thing no they'd be throwing bricks through your window like that meme i'm on your side i just unveiled a fucking 40 foot israel flag people will be pissed there was a lot of people yeah a lot of bros was it a was it a sanctioned uh block party they were like we do this twice a year. And I was like, well, I've lived here for a year and this has never happened. Yeah. What was it like? What did they block off both ends of the street?

No. Interesting. So what happens when cars came through? They just Wayne's World it? Car! The cars would have come through slamming on the horn. Oh, they were pissed? They weren't in the street though.

They were on the sidewalk. I guess. Do pissed? They weren't in the street, though. They were on the sidewalk. Do you have that wide enough sidewalk? Oh, yeah. Crammed up on the sidewalk. You got a wide-ass sidewalk. You have a perfect street for a little block party. I wouldn't mind. You could have invited the boys over.

I should have. Yeah, I would have liked to have heard. I was thinking about cracking open my balcony and just start throwing them some beers. Really adding to the vibes. You would have been a god. I got a pack of dusty Michelob Ultras that have been sitting on my floor for eight months.

They've ranged in temperature fluctuation from 60 degrees to 90 about 50 different times. They probably went skunk and then got so hot that they fermented again. Now they're like a twirling wine. This is kombucha. Who needs kombucha you know who needs a

Michelob who needs a Mickey who needs a hot Mick they scald their hands when they catch it well here's here's something I was thinking about too this weekend um so I know people bring up Stephen Hawking a lot um may he rest in peace but very popular topic uh he is a topic of a lot of comedic yeah yeah it's the funniest thing ever yeah well that he was fucking children yeah midgets wasn't he fucking midgets or he was like making midgets do unspeakable things but he had to program it into a like type to talk yeah it's like that guy from 300 who betrays the army yeah it shows them the way through the past and they're like seducing him with all sorts of uh disformed people yeah forgive me my lord yeah oh and then they

they're he's watching the army get fucked and he's like, why did I do this? But Stephen Hawking, right? I wonder, do you think that he had a positive effect on other people? Let's say children who had the same disability that he did, which was, is it ALS? Did he have Lou Ge gehrig's disease i have no idea what he had oh i think it was a combination of a lot of shit yeah i think or was it ms was it multiple sclerosis i don't know anyway um whatever it was it was not good als so good call francis do you think francis strikes again do you think that did you ever see that movie

uh the theory of everything yes is that what it was everything everywhere all at once that's a classic I hate that movie

really I really hate it I loved it I never watched it I started it twice and was like it just made me feel like I mean I

I would think you would hate it because I don't like movies like that it's too frenetic and it's it's probably similar to what happens to you when you're trying to go to bed and you're excited about fishing yeah probably um just just explosions of light yeah fight scenes and fucking asian accents yeah yeah that was all going on but yeah i watched the stephen hawking movie and he was a bit debonair he was kind of a womanizer he was um well he was fucking kids wasn't he he was fucking midgets no he was at epstein island with for the midgets participating in orgies but they have different flavors it's not

like they only have vanilla down at jeffrey epstein's island it's a fucking barnum and bailey circus dude no i think it was mostly kids. It's not just kids. Kids were the most popular flavor, but that doesn't mean that they didn't have like a fucking... No, I think he was fucking kids. I think that they had...

I don't think he was fucking anything. That guy had to communicate with his eyeballs. What are you going to do? How are you going to... Sit on my fingers. Yeah. Does that feel good it's like what i'm sure he had some sort of anything that you could find on the tlc channel they had on epsine island yeah sexual manner yeah they had the overweight they had the little folks they

had the kids they had octuplets they had conjoined they had everything that's what money gets you this guy knows a lot about Epstein Island. Yeah. Yeah, of course. But I wasn't going to go into that whole thing. Okay. But let's say before his fall from grace from the Epstein Island logs, the question I would have had is,

do you think that Stephen Hawking and his incredible notoriety and, I guess, genius and his accomplishments, do you think he made children who were relegated to a motorized wheelchair like that or who suffered the same disability, do you think he inspired them? Or do you think he made them dysmorphic the way that like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model makes a young girl body dysmorphic? Meaning like a kid comes home from their science class in a wheelchair like that with a B plus and starts weeping because Stephen Hawking, people are going to associate. You're expected to be good at science yeah you're in a fucking wheelchair that everyone knows that someone who is moving their chair with their eyeballs and speaking through a motorized voice should be discovering black holes on a daily basis yeah yeah that's what stephen hawking that's what people of that ilk do and yet this kid is

just a mediocre student and that kid's like you know i'll never live up to what people expect and then the parent has to be like you have to understand that that's not realistic yeah yeah you know that's not something to aspire to yeah i think that that's that's definitely spot on that he was an aspirational figure for the paraplegics the quads and the wheelchair bound but i bet uh he did not associate himself with them at all oh he was probably as disgusted with the wheelchair bound as the rest of us right yeah but uh like i think that you cannot underestimate the cockiness of a genius yeah all the geniuses even if you watch what was the uh oppenheimer oppenheimer that line i was just thinking that like these guys are so cocky like if you're not only a genius but you're

recognized by the other geniuses in your field as a genius and all of your peers and the scientific community all think that you're a genius you're probably like i'm a fucking god there's that line i think he's talking to his either his wife or he's talking to the girl that he's sleeping with his affair and he she's like why would you alienate the only group of people that understand you and he goes you'd be surprised how far how much genius how far genius will let you be forgiven or something like that basically like i'll fuck who i want yeah i can do whatever i want because they'll forgive me because i'm a genius. You shut the fuck up. And he was right. Yeah.

That guy got away with everything. Well, he could hear the music. Yeah, he could hear the music. Yeah. But also he facilitated genocide. He did. He put men to all war. But nobody marched in the streets

against the op. Yeah. Nobody was like, you're a fucking genocidal. Call it gallows humor it's my favorite line that movie's so good call it call it gallows humor have you have you ever re-watched it though i've seen it three times really yeah oppenheimer i watch it all the time oh it's so worth watching again yeah yeah just learn something new every time it's great

damn i watched I watched that The Late Night with the Devil. What's that? It's that new horror movie. It's really good. It's not that scary. It's not really scary at all, to be honest. It's more just like a fun movie. Okay. Exciting.

I watched a movie called Concrete Utopia. I love that one. Korean movie. You watch it? Very fun. It was fuckingopia. I love that one. A Korean movie. Yeah. You watch it? Very fun. It was fucking awesome. Yeah. I crushed that on a plane. And then I watched Indiana Jones, the one where they go to India.

Have you guys ever watched that one? That's Temple of Doom. That made me so scared as a kid of Indians. Yeah, when they rip the guy's heart out. Yeah. I was terrified of Indiansians bro i don't know if i ever even watched all the indian i just remember the scene with the snakes where he's in the pit with the snakes that scene always disgusted me and the one in india they

like there's a dead snake they like go to this indian palace for dinner and there's a dead snake coiled up and they cut open the snake and like tons of other snakes come out yeah and the indian dudes are just eating them yeah it was so uh xenophobic towards indian people it was like so negative i was like what the fuck is wrong with indians and that's spielberg too oh yeah who who kind of alternated from making those kinds of movies with like et and uh well then he made jaws which jaws is a classic did he make uh he wasn't involved with any of the star wars was he that was just george lucas did indiana jones and i think he was involved somehow yeah he's just on set i don't know exactly how but um yeah yeah made me say it's

just everything about like indian people are just like clawing at you and like everything about the movie like as a kid it fucking turns you out against indian people like you go to an indian people are just like clawing at you and like everything about the movie like as a kid it fucking turns you out against indian people like you go to an indian town they're like ah please would you guys uh would you guys ever want to go to india i would is there an allure i used to never want to go and i really think it was because the fucking indiana jones movies that they're going to be serving me there's a soup that's full of eyeballs. Like these guys are just like slurping down cockroaches and we're like, oh, what the fuck is this? I mean, that xenophobia is right there in the title.

Think of it. India? Nah. Yeah, that's good. That's good. That was a round joke. That's damn good. India?

Nah. Yeah, it really is baked in That's damn good. India? Nah. Yeah, it really is baked in. I would go to India, though. I'm interested in going to India. I want to see a tiger in my lifetime. Did you not see one in South Africa? They don't have tigers down there, brother. Lions. Yeah, they have lions.

Lion's mane. I would love to do some lion's mane, too. I want to get into some fucking mushrooms. Sorry, I was lost in a nootropic thought for a minute nootropics should make you pay more attention not less they bring me to a dark place why would you ever go to where were you supposed to go to india with donnie or no marty and donnie were going to go to india is that right yeah yeah i'm not particularly i guess the only thing that compels me is a little bit the sort of just like the how far the wealth divide there where like a little gets you a level of service and wealth that is outrageous.

Yeah. couple hundred bucks a day which you would spend on a vacation in italy or something you're gonna get a driver the best hotel in town yeah same food like people pressing your clothes for you like there's a caste system that they've been developing for thousands of years there and you get to just jump to the front of the line yeah yeah it's insane then going like seeing a slum or something like that would be also insane i know the fact that that exists in the world like that yeah they make our poor look like fucking gods like poor people in america have flat screen tvs right be fun to go into that slum though and be like ask start asking them trivia questions be like would you like to use your 50 50 your phone a friend they're all they all are perfect at trivia and they're like

what are you what are you talking about you know the dev patel movie i thought you guys were all millionaires seeking a long lost love yeah yeah i don't know if i have any interest in going to india to be honest i don't know nothing really is is i'm i'm i'm admittedly afraid of how inevitably sick i think I would get. And it's so overpopulated. I think it's 100% sure that I would get sick. But there's... I don't know if you bring your life straw with you.

Is it that? No, I have no idea. I don't know anything about India. Also, I mean, what kind of journey are you... If you go with Donnie somewhere, you're getting sick. If you go with Donnie somewhere you're getting sick like if you go with Donnie to India you're going to a bathroom that's like literally a small hole in the ground that you have to squat over and they don't give you toilet paper that's right I'd like to go to India just to see the bodegas it's just white guys working well I mean think about how good the

bodegas are here they got cats they got tigers sleeping on the fucking chip racks. They probably still have mango jewel pods out there. They do love mango. Mango lassi? Mango chutney? They do love mango. Wacons working in bodegas would be amazing. That would be so funny.

What the fuck? I would like to go to China as well. I feel like there's so much untold beauty of china but uh a lot of negativity in the news about it yeah you don't hear shit in the news about india not really well what have you heard about india i think there was something about their their prime minister recently or their president or whatever. The Iran president has passed. Helicopter has passed on. Big Kobe fan. They said it was a U.S. helicopter.

No. Yeah, but it was a 30-year-old U.S. helicopter. Sikorsky? They don't even fly that model. It's probably a Sikorsky. Probably. Ooh, do you have him on helicopter knowledge? You don't know much about it.

I don't know anything about choppers. I know Blackhawks, and that's it. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. But they said it was a third, it was a model that they don't even fly in the US anymore. Yeah.

Yeah. What is it called? I don't know what you're guessing. Blackhawks. There's a moment of irony there. Sikorsky is the manufacturer of the very first helicopter i think ever or potentially in america there's a huge plant when you drive from um it's in connecticut it's a huge huge sikorsky helicopter plant and i think they make

a lot of the helicopters uh certainly the commercial ones but uh that commercial helicopters yeah any ones that are non-military oh this makes sense um but but you can't like buy a ticket yeah blade helicopter oh yeah i forgot about blade 185 to get to la guardia yeah i just remember the blade with brianna in most dangerous games we're like brianna's blading out of here she's gonna take a she got a blade they're gonna land it in the middle of the baseball field yeah did that really happen that's what they said she was gonna take a blade out was that on she was threatening to blade was that on camera like lewis g Gomez after 9-11. She was about to blade the fuck out of there.

Dude, I was listening to an episode of the Regs. I didn't know that he moved to New York the week of 9-11. Wow. So his first week was him rollerblading out of New York. Isn't there a comedian who has a bit about a guy rollerblading out? I don't know.

His name's something Barry? Todd Barry or something? Todd Barry? Todd Barry, I think, has a bit about seeing a guy rollerblading out of New York, and it turned out that it was Lewis. Todd Barry just did The Tonight Show, and it was hilarious. He had five minutes on cats. He's obsessed with cats.

That tracks for how that guy looks. Yeah, he's hilarious. He looks five minutes on cats. He's obsessed with cats. That tracks for how that guy looks. Yeah, he's hilarious. He looks like a cat guy. Yeah. Did you hear that Luis Gomez and Big J are going to have a rap battle? No. At Skagfest? No, I didn't.

You should go. Yeah, that'd be fucking sick. You should help them. I want to get in the... I hope it's... I would do Luis. You think? I just think Luis's delivery will be a little more, my guess.

You're saying that because he's ethnic? Yep. Jay has a pretty good way with words, though. That's true. You don't know. Maybe he's a good writer. But if Rowan's writing for them. But I bet Crack Amico's got to be locked in with Lewis.

I don't know. I would love to see it, though. I just hope it's not on beat. I think it would be so much better if it's acapella hey to finish that thought really quick yes that question of uh who manufactured the first helicopter oh yeah yeah was the million dollar question or might have been one of those episodes where they were doing multi-million on who wants to be a millionaire and the guy got it right really yeah damn so i had just talked about remember how i just talked about who wants to be a millionaire yeah and then we brought it back with the

sikorsky helicopter question very that shit is full circle very fun yeah and now we'll move on to our next segment the chicago blackhawks but it's helicopters instead of the i've been watching a lot of chicago blackhawks prime highlights. Patrick Kane. Yeah. Love. You got to love Kane. Got to love Kane. Got to love Toes.

Taze. Spelled Toes. Taze is the one that Brad Marchand went up to in the middle of a game and just said, your kids are ugly. And then skated away. And you know he meant it too. Yeah. Damn.

And Taze said that he thought about it for the rest of the game. He said it fucked with him so much. That's funny. When they had Brad Richards too, that was a good team. Yeah. Taves, Kane, and Brad Richards. Yeah. Kane was so good. They won three cups out of five years, right?

I think, yeah. Yeah. When they had Mike Richards on the Blackhawks. I re-watched that clip of Kane scoring the overtime goal and how just no one knew. He was the only one that knew that it went in. Yeah, I remember that. It was crazy.

I remember watching that live. It was a crazy angle, right? It was an insane angle. The buzzer didn't go off or anything. Yeah, right. Dude, on the rundown today, Big Cat was saying that you're wrong about the Panthers. angle and like they didn't the the light like the buzzer didn't go off yeah right right dude uh i was on the rundown today big cat was saying that you're wrong about the panthers really yeah i don't think big cat knows ice no he said you don't know ice it's not puck bro it's ice that's what we call

it this is what you've been smoking if you think that the big cat does not know ice has he been watching all the games yes dude he has a number one sports podcast. Get your head out of your ass. Everyone knows the Oilers are winning it all. Oh, he's talking about the getting out of the East. Oh, no. The Rangers are going to destroy the Panthers. I don't think you know what that's saying, bro.

It's going to be the Rangers in four. I don't think you know anything. It could be the Rangers in five. I could see the Panthers maybe winning the first or the second game, but then it's going to take the Panthers. It's going to take the Rangers one game to could see the Panthers maybe winning the first or the second game, but then it's going to take the Panthers. It's going to take the Rangers one game to figure out the Panthers.

What we need to do is get on Game Time and get some fucking Rangers tickets, just us guys. Yeah. Who's going to pay for that because they're about

$10,000 a piece. Game Time. I would absolutely go to one of those games. We put together our collective social media promotion. I think

knowing Game Time is free. I would absolutely do that. That would be so so fun game time last minute tickets lowest price you get down there you're right on the freaking glass banging it's playoff hockey you feel the fucking atmosphere at the fucking at the garden imagine the atmosphere at the garden for some gets game time especially with the Knicks out now. And so that means that they're the only show in town. They are the only show in town. So if you want to go on game time, that means that that's the exact,

that's what you need to see on game time. And we could, I mean, not a bad seat in Madison Square Garden. You could even sit on that level where it's like a rafter. You know how there's like that? Oh, all the way up. All the way up. There's like a bird's eye view. But when it's puck, I i mean especially through game time you you want to be able to see bird's eye view

watch the play develop see you know there's plays in hockey yeah yeah the the cheapest tickets are like 400 a piece dude we gotta get in the building via game time i'm down if we went out if we wanted up close seats so we're looking at about $2,000 to $8,000 a piece. Dude, well, with game time, I mean, it's such a good deal that you really can't beat it. I would go further back, but I want to be middle. I don't want to be behind one goal. Well, it's the last-minute tickets with the lowest price guarantee.

Yeah. But if we're actually going to do this. Yeah, you got to download the GameTime app. I already have. It's just on the GameTime app. Or go to GameTime.co.uk. Or just GameTime on the GameTime app. Or go to GameTime.co.uk. Or just GameTime.co. Excuse me.

That is just GameTime.co. Well, if you're in the UK. If you want to get Rangers tickets in the UK. All right, governor. GameTime.co.uk. The Rangers. GameTime.gov.

It's GameTime.co. Everyone knows it's GameTime.co. It's promo code BOYco. Everyone knows it's GameTime.co. It's promo code BOYDAB. $20 off your first purchase. That's right. Do we have them as a sponsor today? It would be hilarious if we didn't. GameTime?

I don't know. I thought we were genuinely talking. We are genuinely talking about it. I also love that we just did like a three-minute read. No one goes, who? Which company? That would be hilarious if we didn't have that. Are you talking about BetterHelp?

Yeah, but go to gametime.co slash UK slash gov and use promo code son or boy dad. Just download the app, dude. Download the app. 20 bucks off your first purchase. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Yeah, dude,

we got to get to some puck. Us, the laundry day boys. Let's go puck it up. Did you see that they're opening for, was it Ed Sheeran? Did we talk about that? No. They are?

I think so. What? They had a big thing. They're opening for Big big bro that's huge yeah sheeran sheeran come on bro i would like to see them open for sheeran probably 10 years ago when he was in his prime when they were 12 yeah yeah you don't hear now you don't think sheereran's in his prime? What's he doing in Gotham? Is he doing West Side Comedy Club?

Rodney's? It's crazy that he still is one of the biggest artists. Well, he's just that talented. He's just that talented. Everything that he comes out with is a crack rock. You gotta love Sheeran.

I've been binging videos of Sheeran's songwriting process. He wrote Love Yourself on the fucking on the tour bus he wrote that for beebs yes wow and just seeing him come up with everything is such a satisfying process he wrote that for he wrote that i don't understand why artists do that like he could have easily sang that song yeah but then you give it to another number one you need to put it sometimes you need to put it like that was before people were willing to enjoy his music because in spite of him being not a very attractive person to look at yeah you got to put that song by justin bieber in order for people to say yeah my mama doesn't like you but she likes everyone yeah i kind of

get that i've been doing that i've been writing a lot of jokes for you. Just because I've been like, I'm done. It doesn't fit my voice. Yeah. My hour is too tight right now to be squeezing in anything more. But I need to get these jokes off. They're timely.

We should do that sometime. We should write a joke for each other. See where it lands? I was playing video games the other day and a band struck up a chord. Yeah. Outside my window, I said to myself,

is that worth me pissing on them for? I don't know if I could write a joke. Or I could write a joke for you. Yeah. But your jokes are long. Not all of them. I got different styles.

He has different styles. I have many different styles, too. Alrighty, let's talk about Manscaped. Ooh, I'm a big fan. Blink, if you haven't purchased a Father's Day gift yet. That's right. Yeah, we thought so. Dumbasses.

Today's episode is brought to you by Manscaped, the leaders in below the waist groom. I hate when my dad has unkempt pubes. It literally infuriates me. I had to call my dad the other day because I was pre-ordering his gift. And I called him and I said, how's that bush doing? Yeah. I can hear my dad's bush on the phone sometimes my dad has started tucking his shirt into his boxers and there will

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you need to get him his own and put a label on it and make sure that his roomie knows that he's going to be using his own Beard Hedra Pro Kit. You know what I really like about Manscaped? You can bring it in the shower with you. Oh yeah. It's got the brush. It's got the comb. It's got the scissors. So you can style your beard. It's got the LED lights. And mustache. So you can see where you're shaving. Yes. Yeah. You style it all. Style your pubes, style your beard, style all your body hair. I'm bringing mine to Virginia this weekend. Oh, good. Yeah. Just because I need to get a shave in you guys should both yeah you guys can help each other out nothing i like doing with my boys better than shaving them up yeah i got your back you got my back yeah

literally literally you boys definitely have no hair on your back no no single hair of your back it's it's uh peach fuzzy it's okay yeah it creeps up from the butt from the butt crack yeah I got a lot of butt crack hair yeah I know I shaved it a couple times it does not feel good at all well with Manscaped it does though that Manscaped

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that's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code sun never forget where you came from if you know what I mean happy father's day from Manscaped from Manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code SON. Never forget where you came from if you know what I mean. Happy Father's Day from Manscaped.

From Manscaped. I do not know what they mean at all. What does that mean? What? Never forget where you came from. Never forget where you came from. Maybe it's your dad.

From your dad's butt crack. You know how birth happens. What a strange read that was. All right, guys.'s forget where you came from if you know what i mean i mean give money back to the poor neighborhood from which i was born i don't know what that means do they think we made it out of the slums is that a threat from the kids i used to run around with you know what i mean yeah all right let's talk about fit bod whether you're a seasoned gym goer francis or you're just starting your fitness journey ron okay the essential come on the essential your workout really needs is fit

bod it's a fitness app that customizes each workout based on your goals and adapts them as you improve. Share how the app. Oh. All right, guys, let's talk about FitBod. Whether you're a seasoned gym goer, Francis, or you're just starting out your fitness journey, Roan, the essential your workout really needs is a FitBod. It's the fitness app that customizes each workout based on your goals and adapts them as you improve. What I love about using FitBot is that it is telling me each week to increase my weight and my reps a little bit. So I'm actually able to track where I'm coming from and the improvement I'm making. It also has like exercises. Sometimes you fall into the rut of the same exercises every single time when you're in the gym. Yeah.

It'll give you something a little bit different. And that muscle variance, you keep your muscles guessing yeah and then they're like oh what the fuck is happening shocked you gotta mix it up my only problem with fit bod is i'm worried i'm getting a little too jacked you look too handsome and if i mean you know if that's something you're worried about maybe fit bod's not for you but for everybody else it will have you looking so handsome and so jacked that your mom and dad will be like, who is this? Where's my son? Yeah. Never forget where you came from with FitBot. It creates a personalized workout, your routine based on your goals, fitness level, and available equipment, which helps. People like me and Francis, we're on the road constantly. This helps, you know,

maybe you're not in your normal gym, you're in a hotel gym. FitBot will give you workouts to use, if you know what I mean. Learn new movements use if you know what i mean learn new movements the right way with over 1 000 demonstration videos that's one of my other favorite it's like what what's the difference between a russian twist a bulgarian split squat and a romanian deadlift i know what you mean on that you know it's it's confusing sometimes because you're caught up in the country boom they have,000 videos that will detail exactly what everything you want to do is. It's pretty much a personal trainer right from your phone. So add FitBod to your workout essentials.

Add FitBod to your workout essentials. Join FitBod today to get your personalized workout plan. Get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free at fitbod.me boy dad that's f-i-t-b-o-d.me boy dad yeah you know what i was noticing i went back recently and i went i was listening to old tapes and uh of yourself yeah narcissist yeah no i'm just it's called putting in the work bro it's called job yeah half the job is listening to tapes this dick's not gonna suck itself figuring out where figuring out you know tightening it up that's actually i'm doing that right now for this don't tell set it's pretty fun yeah i mean i went i spent the weekend doling out chowder for saint mary's episcopal soup

kitchen oh that's fun yeah is that gonna be the intro to your special making sure people got chunks plenty of chunks. You need the chunks. If you're just going to do a little intro. Are you going to do a little intro while you were listening to yourself talk? You should do a little. Did you film it for the intro? You handing out, so you working at a soup kitchen.

There you go. Yeah. And then like Brandon Barrera runs in and he's like, Francis, you're on now. Oh, shoot. Throw it in someone's face. That would be a good intro. It's like every intro starts in like. Yeah, that's right. People face that'll be a good intro that's like every intro starts and like yeah that's right people don't really do the intros that much anymore no no because they suck yeah because there's no point to it they're fun i like them they're fun yeah i

love a good i love a good one of someone running running by the crowd like oh my god i forgot that the biggest night of my life of my entire career is right now. That's something that slipped my mind. I was just doing something else. And that's something I've been thinking about for the last three months straight. I was obsessing over how the crowd's going to be. Something that's completely out of my control. I hope it's a good crowd. Like there's like, Norman did that.

Louie's live at the Beacon, I think. It's like him showing up. It's always people showing up. I'll do it it i'll film a little b-roll for you i might bring my own camera out there yeah i don't i'll bring out the sony a7iii i don't know that i have the confidence to sort of wander through a crowd on way to getting on stage for a special yeah i need to be like doing breathing exercises backstage with a proper announcement

and walk right on at the right time. Yeah. That's pretty much all you need though. Like I don't think anyone's ever been like dude this special ruled

because the fucking opening was sick. That's right. Name one. Sorry. Louis C.K. The joke sucked in that one. Like rolling stone yeah that's what he plays when he comes out that already i was already like this is my favorite special ever yeah

this guy set the bar fucking high right away well you gone to the finest school all right miss lonely but you know you only used to get juiced in it. You know who wrote that song for him? Fucking Sheeran. It was Sheeran and Benny Blanco in the back of a fucking tour bus. Dylan wrote a lot of songs for other famous artists. He did. Jimi Hendrix.

Carole King was also like that. Yeah, Carole King wrote a bunch. What is the deal right now with Benny Blanco? I think he's gay. What is happening with him? He's dating Selena Gomez. Oh no, who's the other guy that's gay? The Bad Bunny. They're saying that he's gay. What is happening with him? He's dating Selena Gomez. Oh, no. Who's the other guy that's gay?

The Bad Bunny. They're saying that he's gay. What? They're probably both gay, realistically. They're Hollywood gay. You're gay for play. But one of them was spotted at a gay bar, which I don't think that makes you gay.

That's not gay at all. I've been to gay bars. I've been to gay bars. Oh, okay. But I knew better than to get spotted. They had to keep my head down. You wore a fake mustache. Well, you look a lot like...

Nah, never mind. You look a lot like the guy from the Monopoly boards. Fuck, they made me. Benny Blanco is everywhere. He's cooking. He's making music, I guess. Cooking in a way he has made he has been responsible for like 30 of all of the hits that have ever been made this millennia really he's such so influential that's pretty cool then i like him a lot i and i also do like him

i saw him the first time i even ever even saw him or heard of him was watching Dave on FX, where the episode where they just sort of run around naked the whole time. I haven't seen any of Dave. Dave's good. After I found out they were stealing jokes. Yes, the wood joke. The wooden shirt. The wooden shirt.

Sass thinks that every joke ever has been stolen. I don't at all. Especially every joke I do. Do you all this from tom segura's uh deep cut album that he put out 17 years ago yeah and it's like oh yeah you got me caught me red-handed that's where you would steal them from now if i was going to steal jokes i would steal the best jokes of all time no because then you would get caught i'm not gonna steal bad jokes you're like a scooby-doo thief and you're, and I would have got away with it too if it weren't for you meddling YouTube commenters.

You definitely are. Oh, man. A deep-seated thief. I know, it's in your blood. That's why you gotta let Francis write your material. Bingo. Francis is on a heater right now. Francis said that pretty much the agreement that we

had was anything that doesn't make it in this special is mine. Yeah. And he's not gonna, he doesn't have to pay me to open for him. You get the leftovers? Yeah, he said, I'm not gonna pay you, but everything that gets cut is yours. You're gonna give him the chaff? I think chaff's the word

i don't really know it feels right it feels right they're gonna get all the chaff just fucking throwing the skins and the bones yes francis and i are going out to uh we got a lot of trips coming up together yeah yeah it's kind of our thing traveling to traveling the world together just trying to see the world before you guys are going to india yeah we're going to virginia tomorrow for two people who have so little comment in how we like to spend our time we sure spend a lot of time together tomorrow we're going to virginia together to go fly fishing i was just at orvis talking waters with the fellows i'm fucking they were stoked to hear about the trip deeply jealously jealous. It feels personal that I was excluded from this. It does feel personal.

I just still don't even really know how that happened. I had nothing to do with it. I told them, I said... Who's them? No one. You're calling Sydney a they-them, bro? Yeah, kind of. That's actually super funny.

I mean, when I refer to Sydney, I'm always talking about her and that beautiful boyfriend of hers. Yeah. So them, the Wellses. The Wellses. I mean, when I refer to Sydney, I'm always talking about her and that beautiful boyfriend of hers. So them, the Wellses. The Wellses. The Wellses are going to make beautiful children one day. That's right.

Blue eyes. Very religious. In church three days a week. When was the last time you guys hit church? More recently than your ass. Really? I hit chapel this morning. I didn't know. I had to genuflect. I didn't know you were a man of god like that ephesians 310 man that's a big thing on on

instagram right now it's being a religious man the the turn the concept of fearing god is crazy yeah i go to bed crying in fear every night of god yeah that's how you know how much i'm shaking in bed is i'm fucking terrified of god it's scared a little bit like people are scared of monsters under the bed i'm scared of god under my bed i'm so scared of god mom could you check my closet for god make sure he's not in there just trembling horrified horrified of god just trembling horrified horrified of god i'm such a god-fearing man fuck bro that was in my fucking five people people have that like in their bio god-fearing man god-fearing man yeah they really people are genuinely afraid of god but it's also kind of defeats the purpose of like why you're doing good like just being being like, I'm doing good because I'm scared that God is going to fuck me up.

Yeah. Like just do good for the sake of doing good. I mean, I don't fear God. I fear how much I love him. I would say that. I fear that I'm staying up too late talking to him. God's like fucking, all right, like we can hang up. We'll talk tomorrow.

Yeah. You're like just a little bit more. No, I love you more. Yeah you more yeah i love you more god's like a fucking oppressed boyfriend in a long distance relationship he's like okay no i love you more yeah and i'm like say it say it like you mean it yeah say it again my mom used to come into my room at night and i'd be under my bed with like you know how kids used to read like comic books under their bed at night you have the bible there which is the bible talking to god a flashlight in your teeth flipping through the bible and she and I'd be under my bed with like, you know how kids used to read like comic books under their bed at night? You had the Bible? I'd be under there with just the Bible talking to God.

A flashlight in your teeth fucking flipping through the Bible. And she'd go, bedtime was 45 minutes ago. And I would go, God does not have a bedtime. It's going to be 10 more minutes. Time is eternal.

Yeah. And then me, I would just be like, fine, I'll just say it from memory then. I don't have to read it. I'll just say it from memory. I heard Harry under the blanket

muttering about plagues horde of locusts exodus 13-6 two things a guy like me doesn't miss fishing and church that's from that's from river runs through it there was two things we were never late to church and fishing that's damn good i gotta watch fucking river runs through it. There was two things we were never late to. Church and fishing. That's damn good. I gotta watch fucking River Runs Through It. I'm listening to an audio book right now. Really? The book's quite good.

It's not a movie? I'm haunted by waters. I'm haunted by waters. I'm haunted by waters. No, you can't say it if you don't know it, bro. I thought we were just all kind of... No, no, no. It was like an affirmation.

That's the final line of the movie. I thought that it was like Deuteronomy 317. It's a beautiful ending. Yeah. Truly magical. Let's wrap it. Really? Are we doing two episodes?

No. We're just doing this one? I don't know. What time have we been going? I had more to say. Hour five. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. That's all I have to say.

I was going to say something else, but a river runs through it. As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Take a look at my life. I realize there's nothing left. Because I've been hunting and hunting for so long. Because I've been hunting and fishing so long oh god i had something else you know what's to hear about the river runs through it dude no one wants to hear about your fucking gary larson book that you're reading i was gonna say i was

when i couldn't sleep i was just listening to a bunch of speeches i just looked up greatest speeches of all time and i watched all of them i'm sure that fucking deluge of blue light into your eyes isn't fucking i had night mode on bro let's go you have a little churchill on there a little churchill little dude it's crazy how big speeches used to be yeah like how well no really because like like i listened to first of all i didn't know jfk sounded like that oh it's crazy he had a little bitch voice. Everyone knows that JFK talk like a cocksucker. I was skipping ahead.

I was like, well, that's not him. I was the guy introducing him. I literally thought it was the guy introducing him, but I listened to his speech announcing that MLK JR had been shot. That's the opener, right? That's the opener. It's crazy. People had no idea opener, right? That's the opener. Yeah. Yeah. And it's crazy.

Like people have no, people had no idea about news. Yeah. It was like 24 hours. You can hear them gasp. And they're like, yeah. People are screaming. The,

you know, what's weird is hearing the actual version of lines that have been immortalized. We have nothing but to fear, but fear itself, or like ask not what you can do for your country or what your country can do for your ask, what you can do for your country or what your country can do for your ask, what you can do for your country.

Those don't sound now when you actually hear the real soundbite that insane to me. I don't know why. I think it's because I've heard them so often retold. But then if you listen to Lincoln, some of the stuff he wrote and said, that to me is...

That boy was built different. Beyond belief. That boy was an orator. Appeal to the better angels of our nature. Yeah. How the fuck do you come up with that? People don't write speeches like that anymore. No, they don't.

And they don't deliver that. Lincoln must have gave him crazy head. Dude, fucking... He probably had Mary Todd screaming. I had a dream. Have you guys heard of this one? Just buried beneath the bloomers. Can't even see him.

Her depressed ass and he's fucking just going to town. He had that shit like a fucking waterfall. Oh my God. Speeches now though, it's just you just go up and you go, good evening, people of America. And then you go back, you listen to I Had a Dream and he's like- MLK was quivering. I had a dream and he's like mlk was quivering and everyone's going there's like a million people watching there's girls twerking yeah it's crazy shaking ass in the front i would love to go to speeches like that there are some good

ones still some contemporary good ones and i also think ted talks you know what let me put it this way if we were russian right now i think we would think putin's speeches were all time well i don't know because i listened to charlie chaplin's speech and the great dictator and uh i'm not a big putin guy now you could say what are you charlie chaplin yeah i'm not familiar with this you haven't seen the great dictator no you haven't heard speech in it i didn't think he spoke he's in a movie and he wrote the movie i see and it's him playing a dictator and he gives a final speech at the end and he's like he's like the power of humanity is in man not all not single men not groups of men but all men the power is in you that's a very marxist idea yeah it's great great speech and it says that the dictators they take away the power of men right it's very powerful right

i listen to steve jobs commencement speech at harvard great speech yeah some of those are pretty good uh obama's david foster wallace address at the democratic national convention that put him on the map is a very good one yeah that one was like top five yeah that's that's a big time one george bush when he was like fool me once you can't you don't just don't get fooled again that was great i mean chocolate chocolate chip yeah like the two are two like greatest beacons of public speaking are joe biden who can't form a sentence and trump who like is a good public speaker but it's just going off the cuff like he's not like uh abraham lincoln's like writing things and like carefully choosing words from his extensive reading and like trump isn't reading

books he's like me right he's listening to books on tape her brooks listened to that one a couple times so they don't even know if that one actually ever even happened. No, it didn't. Yeah. The locker rooms? Yeah. There's no like proof for anything.

He just called them pansies and said, get the fuck out there. You pussies. I didn't play in a Disney movie. Anyways, I just wanted to touch on my speeches

that I've been listening to. That's cool. My dad's a big fan of speeches. He'd make us listen to them in the car. That's what I was listening to my headphones walking around. Like that at 7.15. He'd make us listen to them in the car. That's what I would listen to in my headphones. On the way to school.

Walking around. Like that at 7.15. Yeah, and you're listening to fucking. Martin Luther King yelling at me. Isn't really permeating. That's probably why you got into Harvard. I have to think about the life cycle of a cell today. I used to listen to sports,

the greatest calls in sports history. Oh yeah, we had that too. I had that CD. It came in a book. Yes, I had that too i had that cd it came in a book yes what was that do you believe in miracles oh yeah like shit like that yes yeah the band is out on the field yeah that shit was great i love shit like that i always get the chills yeah right when i watch tom brady highlights get chills. You didn't even pay attention in social studies class. My mother had anything to do with sports calls.

Social studies is history in grade school. Yeah, they weren't talking about like the 1980 hockey team. Yeah, you were too busy whipping and nae-nae-ing, bro. I know what you were doing in fucking school. Kids this age, too busy nae-nae-ing. Yeah. All right, we can end it. Yeah, all right. All right, we can end it. Yeah, all right.

All right. I'm going to be in LA in like three weeks. I'm doing a show at the Comedy Store, the Belly Room. Please come. What day? I don't know. I'm going to try and come to that. Yeah.

That should be fun. I'm probably going to have, I'm going to book a bunch of people on it too. It's going should be fun. I'm probably going to have, I'm going to book a bunch of people on it too. It's going to be fun. Sure, you know, Segura will be there, Rogan. It's going to be fun.

A lot of LA killers. Come on out. Bellyroom. Bullsashwatchwebsite.com. See you there. Francis? Not much to announce. Special.

The day before. Watch T announce. Special. Special. Listen to Tires. Watch Tires. Watch Tires. Tires on Netflix. It comes out this week. Oh, no. It comes out today.

This episode comes out on Thursday. It comes out tonight. Tires comes out tonight. Tires. Tires is already out. If you're listening to this, it's already out. This comes out Thursday?

Yes. Not Tuesday? Not tomorrow? Not tomorrow? We're already backed up. Okay. All right. Well, because we're already backed up. Okay. Alright, well then we'll see you guys on Monday or Tuesday. Goodbye.

That went by super fast.