Son of a Boy Dad - Jalens Hurt (feat. Big Cat) - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 93

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

Sas went to the dermatologist for a scarring experience, 2023 better be the year of fitness or else its a wrap for your boys, having to turn around in public is one of the most embarrassing things you can do, and who has the most acres in the room? Big Cat comes on the show to break the news to Rone that Jalen Hurts is injured. A truly heartbreaking moment. Sas went to the Bills game over the weekend, so that was pretty cool. Very funny episode today, enjoy. Ads: Gametime Download the Gametime app and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). NHTSA Drive high, get a DUI. SoCo Learn more at https://barstool.link/SouthernComfortBSS Ridge Go to https://barstool.link/RidgeSOABD for the best offerYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All righty, everybody. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is Monday. It is December 19th, and we're talking about geopolitical issues. Today we're talking about geopolitical issues in the industry.

Yeah, so whether you're a lib or whatever the opposite of a lib is, you're going to want to hear this shit. You're going to want to strap in and listen because it's about to get real political. A lot of people are big into being libertarians. They want the government out of their life. Well, we're an authoritarian podcast and we want big government in our lives. Number one government loving podcast. We love the government. Big government.

We love all the choices that they make. Big ideas. And if you're anti-government, if you think that the government is doing something wrong, if you don't accept the government into every part of your life, you're the problem. Damn straight. Couldn't have said it better myself. You're part of the fucking problem. And we're going to march on Washington and let it be known that this is what we think.

We're going to fucking link arms with our brothers and brothers. And we're going to all walk down there and fucking march on Washington. All right. Penis hats. All right. All right. All right. We got it.

I want to hear about your plane ride yesterday with the did you was that thing that you tweeted real that actually happened no oh fuck i really was hoping it was real that i was in a screaming match or something yeah dude i mean i did get on the plane that's suchmer. What? I was excited to ask about that. Yeah, it did seem sweet. Fuck. Dude, I was just telling a joke. That's what you do online.

You're like, yeah, Addison Rae is shaking ass in the White House. Yeah, dude. I come in. I'm like, what, dude? I need to hear about this. No, but it was funny. It would have been hilarious if that happened. I know.

The lady was... I mean, I sat next to a lady. She was masked up and she did have a dog on her lap. She never said anything to you about not having a mask? But I was super self-conscious because I was sick last week and I just had to stifle my stuffies. Yeah, that's pretty bad. When I was at the doctor's today, I was stuffing like crazy. Just sniffling all over the place.

But I was just going through scenarios in my mind where her masked up ass like gives me a hard time and i'm like well you got a fucking dog yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i might get you sick you're getting me sick because i have a fucking severe shih tzu allergy yeah or whatever type of fucking dog she had on her lap dude the doctor's office is uh that was my first time being just like a real doctor's office that's not a city md in like years and they do they they just throw on charges and you could they could just be like you owe us a thousand dollars and i'd be like okay that sounds right yeah if you want to open a hospital it's really annoying dude because i i had to pay 25 to confirm the appointment that

shit doesn't even make sense and because that's why it got cancelled last week because I didn't confirm the appointment. And then I go to check in like, alright, you have a $45 copay? And they can't waive that. And I was like, what does that even mean? I paid it because I'm like, I have to see the dermatologist. Totally. And then they rip me

open. What does copay even mean? They rip open my chest. What does copay mean? Half your insurance and half you? I have no idea no idea like your insurance they're also just charging a guy and he has to pay like 45 bucks out of his pocket and then i saw remember i was telling you about how they how they cancel my appointment because i didn't pay the 25 fee i saw a girl come in same thing happened to her she was like i never even got like a call about it and they were like yeah they canceled the appointment if you don't pay it so when do you have to pay it dude they don't they don't say anything like the only reason i was able to get an appointment because i went in and i rescheduled there and paid there and god

forbid you like say no to one of the fees i know i'm like well she won't see you sorry dude oh i didn't i don't know if you saw my text but i went in and i was like i was seeing the nurse you know they bring the nurse in before yeah and she was like so what brings you in today and i was like i got uh i was like i have pitoriasis rosea rosacea i don't know because i've heard people say it's rosacea and then the dermatologist told me it's rosea and she the the nurse goes she's like man i don't even know how to spell that shit it's your job man it's like holy fuck dude i was like this is supposed to be the saving grace so i was like this is like i've i've gone to the city mds they sucked i was like this is supposed to be the saving grace so i was like this is like i've i've gone to the city mds they sucked i was like this was supposed to be the place that i could

come and get the answers and they're like i don't even know what that is we've never seen this before they're just bringing in doctors from other hospitals to gape at you and then i uh and then i went and the dermatologist comes in and she's like i heard you brought us a rash and i was like yeah and she's like uh she's like all right show and tell and i had to like take my shirt off and then she's like it's not she's like it doesn't look like pteriasis i think it still is though because it's like fading it's not what it like it's not like what it used to look like but what do you mean you think you think you know better than her no she said it might be but so then they did a what is it what is it called a biopsy and she said it might be, but so then they did a, what is it? What is it called?

A biopsy and it hurt. It didn't hurt, but I don't like, I don't even like thinking about it, dude. They numb up that area, numbed it up with a shot and then they scooped out my skin and then they, uh,

stitched it up. They, they took their pound of flesh off of you. Yes. Now I have a, now I have stitches on my chest for two weeks. And she was like, you can't swim in the ocean or pools you can still shower and now i'm like what are you gonna do i know now i'm well no i was like i was like yeah that shouldn't be an issue i'm not planning

on swimming anytime soon you can't go to the ocean i know and but i still am like the whole thing is i want to be able to work out again without having to worry about this exploding but now i'm like well if i work out and i sweat and it gets in the stitches like am i gonna die what about the other times that you just worked out over the last couple weeks it was twice and i and i only did weights because i didn't want to sweat a lot and you didn't sweat at all so so it didn't make it any worse now it did damn and i did sweat a lot when can you kick this fucking habit she said it's she kept on calling it a nuisance no shit yeah she was like it's a nuisance rash which i'm pretty sure means like it's just a pain in the ass and it's not actually like bad she was like

there's nothing to be worried about but we're gonna figure out what it is and hopefully get rid of it you just want to be free but she also she also was like it's gonna take a couple months so like this is gonna be going on like a year. Yeah, this will be a full year. Yeah. This is terrible. Yeah. Have you tried an oatmeal bath? Dude, I tried everything. Fuck. Yeah, you might just be fucked, dude. You might be a leper. I might just be rashed up for life.

Yeah, you might have to just be, but whatever. We'll get like tattoos of it. Yeah, at least it's the winter now too. So it's like, I don't have to show skin. Honestly, this could like help your acting choices or like your your acting props or like your ability to get in like commercials and shit like that why the way that they always put like people who are like burn victims or people who have like fucking what's the one where your skin changes colors yeah yeah like winnie harlow like the actor or the model rather was alopecia

alopecia that type of shit in war zone like the main screen on war zone is like a soldier with alopecia really it's like what the fuck is this representation yeah you're gonna be the war zone main screen with just your fucking pimpled up fucking torso rash everywhere i actually am a victim you are kind of a victim i know or you're an underrepresented part of society that needs more on-screen representation yeah i know there's not too many of us out there that have had it like if you if someone gets hired to be in chernobyl like an extra or some shit with like a fucking scarred flesh and like they put makeup on them they're basically using you're gonna get me yeah i need to be an extra in a movie you'd have to pop your top off oh that's not happening they cgi i didn't

even want to pop my top off at the dermatologist i was so uncomfortable yeah she and then she was like she's like it's probably better if you just take it off and i was like and then when she was like let's do the biopsy i was so close to being like i'm good i was supposed to be i was gonna be like i'll just have this cat the rash dude i was like i don't want to have this at all how much would it break you if like hey dude it was the weirdest feeling ever how much would it break you if when the when you took off your shirt the dermatologist was just like no i think that's like what she was thinking i like it's all she like lost respect for me like stifling a laugh like if she just like saw but like not about the she's like well i'm seeing some problems right off the bat yeah and it has nothing to do with your skin yeah it's got a lot

to do what's going on with under the skin yeah she just body shames the fuck out of you yeah you think that she's gonna have incredible bed manner, but she actually just flames you. I was looking nice and big today, too. We were coming off a long weekend in Buffalo. Bro, I was so fat on this flight. Oh, that's the worst feeling, dude. I was in like a button down shirt and it was like about to like pop, pop, pop. Yeah, yeah.

Like it was about to, I literally unbuttoned my shirt halfway and had my belly hanging out on the flight. I was so fucking fat. I was telling, I was talking about that with Mook when we were going to the Bills game. I was like, dude, do you ever just be on stage and just be like, I feel really big right now? In all the wrong places. You just feel big.

I feel really big right now. There's a lot of you up on stage. That's like something a woman would say on their period. I'm feeling really big right now. I don't know why I'm wearing headphones. I can hear myself yeah free myself fucking just me and the microphone and my boys so wait what you guys were out in la and then you came back and you went out to chicago yeah i've been exhausted as a bitch a long week not to complain actually i'm not exhausted what the fuck am i talking about i was just a little tight you got this break coming up yeah but i gotta go

to arizona i'm going to the arizona bowl and you're staying there for christmas the other night i was like when am i gonna get some rest not knowing that i was just like a on like a fucking week-long tropical vacation and b the things that i bitch about are like having to go to la and like hang out with the nba player and he's like dude it sucks in his pool house yeah going to like our bar that we own in chicago and like having like gamble and like eat free food and shit like that and i'm like when can i finally have a fucking respite from my struggle i had a moment like that yesterday i was in the airport and i was like dude i was texting my buddies and i was like dude uh i was like this shit is getting so exhausting like staying in college Seriously it's not all it's chalked up to be

Yeah I was like dude this is getting so tiring Like having to like go straight from work During the week to going to do stand up And then coming back and going straight to work And they were like my buddy was like Dude I've been at work since like 5 in the morning And he's like bartending at a bar for the world cup And I was like ah

And I'm like complaining because I have a 30 minute flight Back from Buffalo Yeah for the world cup and i was like ah and i'm like complaining because i have a 30 minute flight back from buffalo yeah the almonds that they gave me like taste oh they're like really literally like tastes like almonds from the 60s like lightly salted but there's no salt on them yeah or it's way too much salt like just find lightly salted how hard can that be the way back though is always way worse i don't know about you but the way there like when you're going somewhere you you you get into you go to the hotel bar have a couple bloody marys drink on the plane a little bit but the way back all right the way back there's no you can't be drinking on the way back yeah i don't know i was drinking on the way back yesterday really

oh dude on the way back i could i i feel ashamed if i do that yeah i got you got to take the sunday off dude i know but i was I was drinking during the day. I was drinking during this gambling competition. Oh, I guess you had that. Eagles were playing. Birds were playing. Yeah. Birds flying high.

They won. Risky game, though. No, it wasn't risky. It was a calculated risk. They didn't play as hard as they could have. They weren't playing hard. They weren't playing hard. Yeah, they didn't try that hard.

That wasn't the Hurts that I know. Because they were playing little brother. What do you mean it wasn't the Hurts you knew? He had three touchdowns and passed for 300 yards. Why didn't he throw for 400, bro? Why didn't he have four touchdowns? Because they were winning. Did he actually have three touchdowns yesterday?

Rushing. That's fucking insane, dude. Three rushing touchdowns. That's crazy. They're definitely going to win the Super Bowl. He's so strong in his legs. They're 100% going to win the Super Bowl. Touch's so strong in his legs. They're 100% going to win the Super Bowl. Touch wood.

No, I'm not touching shit, dude. Yeah, you are. No, you're touching wood right now. I'm not knocking, though. No, you're touching wood. I'm not walking. Knocking. Yeah, that was a knock.

No, that was not a knock. That was a tap. And it has to be three knocks. Are you feeling confident? About the birdies? Yeah, when did the playoffs start? I just started feeling weak whenever I tried to lift your leg up with my leg. Oh yeah.

That's a hard thing to do. You gotta be all abs to do that. You have heavy legs too. No dude, that's a strict ab workout. Yeah. Leg raises. Friends, this episode is brought to you by GameTime. GameTime, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. GameTime is a ticketing

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I don't know how it works, but the tickets are right there in your phone. phone has your tickets i don't know how it works but the tickets are right there in your phone you scan them you walk into the stadium and then you make a memory that you're going to remember for the rest of your life and that's all through game time so what you can do today is download the game time app go to the account tab to create a login and redeem code boy dad for 20 off your first purchase terms apply download game time Download game time. Last minute tickets. Lowest price. Guaranteed. Yeah. Fuck. I need to get back in the motherfucking gym.

Yeah, dude. 2023's gotta be a big year of fitness for me. The amount of damage I've done to my body this year is shocking. Irreparable. Shocking. Irreparable. There's no erasing this. Yeah. Dude. They say a moment on the hips, a year on the fucking or what is it? A moment on the they say a moment on the hips a year on the fucking or what is it a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips or whatever dude i'm serving a million

straight life sentences on my hips dude this shit is miserable i don't think i've had a home-cooked meal in a year in one a full year and i don't know if that's going to be any better no no it's probably not going to be any better home-cooked meals just have sticks of butter in them. No, no. Or they're bland as hell. Dude, they say that, like, any home-cooked meal is better than takeout. Because, dude, they're putting all that oil and salt. But it's like oil or butter.

Like, you're getting one or the other. I don't know, man. You think that your mama is cooking some fucking healthy choice meals? No, my mom is just bad at cooking. So there's no butter or oil yeah same or my parents raw food we just eat the ingredients i don't know what the fuck like they taught our our parents but like i feel like generations before that they were just like making full-ass pies and like succulent buttery shiny turkeys and now like we're for for some time in

there it was like wheat bread hell oh yeah they're just jamming like unsalted, unbuttered food down your throat. We just eat like, like if my mom cooks, we'll have just like chicken. And it'd be like chicken breast with just like pepper on it. Yeah. It's like the healthiest thing you can eat. Yes. My parents would do that shit to me too. And it made me hate food for a long time.

Yeah. And then I started cooking chicken and I was like, this is easy. And I'm actually way better at it than my mom. And now I don't cook anymore because our apartments too. It's just too small, dude. It's just too small. Too tiny to shove up some good shit. I don't want to talk about it again, but.

We won't. We won't. I feel like we've been talking a lot about rash and my apartment. That's your life though. We got to get, we got to switch our topics. That's literally your life. It's like being out of shape. We got three episodes to do this week. We can't be talking about ration. And apartment that for the third episode yeah i think that if uh do you

think that cooking vegetables with a bunch of oil and butter is like uh worse than not having vegetables at all i don't think so i was thinking about that yesterday because i got brussels sprouts and i was like dude this is just straight like this is like you're just eating french fries yeah but um or like some tempura fucking like deep fried ass like asparagus or some shit yeah but you're also you got to think about you're having you're still getting all those nutrients from the vegetables are you yeah all the vitamins and i don't know dude so that's healthy all the fiber but yeah there's like even like ordering like when you're like uber eats and you're like i'm gonna get something healthy and you order vegetables you come you and you're like, this is not healthy.

It's lathered in literally a full stick of butter. Yeah. We have these periods of self-doubt, dude. Do you think that Andrew Huberman and Lex Friedman have these periods of self-doubt like this? No. Where they're just grappling with each other, being fucking black belts in jujitsu or whatever podcasters are into these days?

Those guys are nuts, dude. You don't want to to be like them you don't want to live like that they are nuts do you think that they get like fucked up ever never you think they're like uh andrew huberman and lex free i was watching like a seven minute video of them wrestling this morning oh really it was kind of fucking dope dude they those guys don't get fucked up and if they do they have like a scheduled like today's the fucked up day yeah and and they still have to do like six workouts just to have like four beers yeah they do four of the workouts yeah they have their beers at 10 in the morning every 10 miles you get one beer their body can process it before they can go back to sleep so yeah they're perfect sleep exactly they're fucked up day they're in bed by 10 p.m and you're at the

latest fucking sleepy ass, bro. This dude's addicted to sleep, bro. Try sleeping when you're dead, Huberman. I know, right? Watch Huberman meet fucking Chicken Fry. Do you think people like those guys who are so workout-centered and health-centered, do you think they meet someone who parties all the time and is still healthy as fuck? Do you think they're just like, I hate you so much? No, i think that they have a sense of uh they still think they're better they

would definitely think they're better than them like you don't know what you're doing you might not be able to tell now but you're wearing down your neural pathways and by the time you're 85 you're not going to be able to recite the alphabet backwards i hope that's true dude that you won't be able to recite no all my No, all my boys, they drink more than me, and then they come into town, and they've got fucking washboard abs. And I'm like, where is the beer going? Because for me, you know where it's going.

It's going straight to the stomach. You've got to blame your parents. And I'm like, I can't wait for you guys to get fat. No, your shit is genetic. I look forward to that day. Or their shit's probably genetic. They probably just have genetic six-packs. Yeah, but all their parents are fat, so i'm pumped when they get fat yeah thank god dude

you ever see a little skinny boy with a fat daddy yeah and you say oh yeah you're gonna be a fat yeah you're gonna be a fat piece of shit and it's gonna hit them hard yeah i'm at a i'm at a nice steady progression or and right now you're like i need to take the bull by the horns and do some things healthily you're at least conscious of it. They're just going to get struck by it. They're going to get, it's going to be a rude awakening. It's hilarious when dudes just turn up fat. My buddy like switched over to IPAs.

He's like a big IPA guy now. And I'm like, dude. It's coming for you, brother. Yeah. I'm like, I can't drink that. He's fast tracking himself. That's like 400 calories in one IPA. I'm like, I can't drink that.

And he's like, dude, it's like way better than light beer. And I'm like, yeah, you wait and see ipa i'm like i can't drink that and he's like dude it's like way better than light beer and i'm like yeah you wait and see man for what you wait and see is he just turning into a beer snob because that should happen oh yeah he lives in he's been like three my buddy bo in denver he's a beer snob now definitely and he doesn't know anything about beer he just has like he's drinking what does that want the lone ranger yep yeah he's just drinking those now he's an ipa guy what a dickhead i know he's a dick i hate him one, the Lone Ranger? Yep. Yeah, he's just drinking those. Now he's an IPA guy. What a dickhead. I know, he's a dick.

I hate him. By the time that... You look directly at the camera. You get out of college, and that's when you become an IPA guy. Not me, bro. Well, because you never went to college. Yeah, I did. No, you never got out of college. I did.

You dropped out of college. I got out. No, you dropped out of college. Yeah, by getting out. I mean guys who successfully complete college. of them have none of them are successfully completing but that's how they become ipa guys they drink their they're like decide they like beers and then they decide that they're like intellectual men who need to add like a little pellet to their personality a little boy scout badge their personality and now they're like i'm an ipa guy

yeah i don't know man that shit's crazy i i can't imagine being able to drink that and just having no if i drank an ipa if i drink like if i switch for one night i drank only ipas i'd wake up 10 pounds heavier and i'd be like shitting tar for the next like three weeks pure tar your tar sticky tar yeah like the labrea tar pits are bubbling out of your asshole. Like my body just fails me every week. Do you think that boys get fucking fat and have beards and then become IPA guys? Or do you think that boys start drinking IPAs and then it makes them fat and they just wear a beard to cover up their fat face?

I don't know, man. I genuinely don't think that my friends are capable of getting fat right now. Like just don't think they can't they don't work out they eat like taco bell for every meal they drink ipas they will they fucking tell them brother they it's coming for them you know i remember them they used to shit on me all the time because i'd be like drinking white claws and i'd be like i can't i can't i gotta you know what you should do is you should take you should take like uh little tikt TikTok videos of them now. So in like five years, you could be like, I got guns in my hand and I won't go.

Spirits in my head and I won't go. Them just turning 300 pounds. Them just like pointing at the camera like six pack IPA in hand. And none of them have the self-control either because they're building bad habits. They don't have the self control either because they're building they're building bad habits they don't have the self control to like get fit it's probably you know because they've never gone from being fat to being fit but the problem is though you said the dude is working in a bar on he's on his feet he's on his feet all day picking up cases of beer he's on his

feet running down to the basement fucking re-tapping a keg yeah running around stressing his mind out like you're sedentary yeah i'm just even when you're working you're standing still yeah yeah i don't move even when you're working you're just sitting in a fucking easy chair i gotta this whole office is just easy chairs yeah i'm about to throw out my couch yeah i'm about to burn my fucking couch down it's the cause of all my problems it is yeah they say sitting is the new smoking they said that yeah they're saying that they are my dermatologist just oh my god dude It's the cause of all my problems. It is. Yeah. They say sitting is the new smoking. They said that?

Yeah. They're saying that. They are? My dermatologist just told me that today. Oh my God, dude. As she was drilling through my chest. She was like, she goes, where's the juiciest lesion? And I was like, excuse me? Lesion is a growth word.

I know. I was like, first of all, don't call them lesions. They're not lesions. These are American lesions. It's a bump. It's a red bump. It ain't a lesion. It's is a growth word. I know. I was like, first of all, don't call them lesions. They're not lesions. These American lesions. It's a bump. It's a red bump. It ain't a lesion. It's not a lesion.

That shit is nasty. I almost just threw up from thinking of fucking lesions. That is very leper-like. Yeah. Jesus, stick your fingers in my lesions. Where can we find the juiciest lesion? And then she went with the chest. She was going to go for the arm, and I'm happy. I think the arm would have hurt a lot. Why? All the chest you're gonna go for the arm and i'm happy i think

the arm would have hurt a lot why all the nerve endings on the back of your arm yeah how do you know you have nerve endings there because i know bro i know everything where else you have nerve endings smart guy cock fuck he's good yeah he's very good fuck yes bro on the fucking cock speaking of your cock how the fuck was Buffalo Buffalo was actually really fun dude the shows were really good except for the last show the last show was terrible

because you guys were probably just trying to get it get out of there and go to the Bills game we were 100% but we also there was no one like all the shows were around like 150 to 250 people at the shows. And then the last show was like, what, maybe five people there? No, it was like 30 people there.

And people were like we were getting a lot of like like pity, pity, pity laughs. How can you tell? Because I think someone was like, we're trying we're helping you out, man. I actually it was like for what it was it wasn't bad but uh i do feel bad when that happens in a way like for the audience because when there's that many people there the show is gonna suck regardless and then and then like these two there's these three dudes there and they're like yeah man we came all the way from uh minnesota or something where did they come yeah they came from or michigan they like, we came to see you

and then we're going to go to the Lions game. And I'm like, it's like you should have gone to any other show, man. Just give them free tickets to another show. Yeah.

Did it suck that bad? Oh, yeah. It was terrible. I mean, dude, the Bills were playing in an hour. It was. I mean, everyone's like

tailgating or going to the game. People were at the tailgates at like noon. Yeah, they care more about football than seeing you oh 100 so do you should you just not have had that show that day i don't think it's really up to me i think it's the club i mean the club's going to be open regardless so that's true they need but there was like there what was there three waiters there they had a whole team of staff every day and then that that day no one was there. Yeah, because everyone's probably asking off.

Yeah, that's what happened. Even the manager was like, oh, I'm not going to be here tomorrow. He's like, I'm going to the game. The whole town was either at least watching the game somewhere. Dude, I think the whole town was at the game. Everyone goes. I didn't talk to anyone that wasn't there. No, we didn't get to tailgate. We got there like, what was it, like five minutes into the first?

Yeah. What kind of buzz did you have? None. We were actually dead sober, which sucked. That's tough. Yeah. Did you ramp it up in time? I actually really didn't drink that much there.

I had, what, like three beers? So what, like 15? No, I had like three beers. I was trying to, but it was really cold, and I was having a hard time getting into the drinking aspect. The game was a blast, but I didn't really get fucked up. Mook was taken like, he took like 15 shots of whiskey. Yeah. I was like, I'm cold.

Like, let's get fucked up with it. Where were you getting the whiskey from? They were selling Fireball shots. He sold Fireball and I took half of a nip and I almost threw up. I was like, this is repulsive. Fireball is nasty. That sugary shit gets me. It isulsive fireball is nasty that sugary shit gets it is so gross dude that sugary shit uh yeah it's a tough way i mean i can't believe you

we used to just drink like 15 fireballs oh yeah that's why i think i can't drink it anymore yeah all fireball dude i used to put five just like mix fireball with shit gross gross it is nice for this time of year though. It'd be tough to just chug a bunch of cold ass beers and get colder. It was freezing, dude. Where'd you get that Bills sweatshirt? Someone brought me it.

Really? Yeah, I paid them. He was going to give it to me for free and I was like, no, I'll pay you for it. How much did you pay? 100 bucks. He was selling it for 175. He owned a vintage store.

Pretty solid. And he was going to give it to me for free. It's your style. Oh, yeah. Who has a thicker collar today? Probably you. You're definitely collared up more than I am. No, yours is very collared up.

Not really. No, it is, dude. It's got four, five different stripes of color on it. Yeah, this is one of those sweatshirts that you get and it's just an instant classic. This is going to be in the rotation heavy. I know. I could tell as soon as I saw it. Yeah, it's going to be in the rotation allirts that you get and it's just an instant classic this is going to be in the rotation heavy i know i could tell as soon as i saw it it's going to be in the rotation even though it's not an earth tone it's not a muted earth tone that sass is calling card you rarely wear like a royal blue something that's part of our oh yeah it's not fully royal but anything that's part of the actual color wheel that's not usually you no never but this will be

oh this is in the rotation for sure don't forget about that t-shirt i got you while i was on my paradise vacation you never brought it i know i still don't know what it is it's dope bro i have a feeling it's not why this episode is brought to you by the national highway traffic safety administration or nizza Highway Traffic Safety Administration, or NHTSA. Quick reminder from NHTSA, did you know that driving high is considered driving under the influence? That's right. Driving under the influence of marijuana is against the law in every state, even in states where marijuana is legal. That means that driving high could get you a DUI. And if you think law enforcement officers can't tell when you're driving high, you're wrong. Your friends can tell. Your co-workers can tell.

Even your parents can tell. Everybody can tell, dude, so just don't do it. So what makes you think that law enforcement officers don't know when you're driving high? Nothing should make you think that. You should know. Driving under the influence of marijuana can slow your response time and change how you perceive time and speed. Wow. Yeah. And so that's a that's a reason right there not to do it. So even if you think you're fine to drive when you're high, you're not.

Because the bottom line is, if you feel different you drive different and driving high is driving under the influence so remember drive high get a dui paid for by nizza you're like oh and three for gifts no you just don't like anything did you get did you think did you think the gift that i got for the yeah christmas was good yeah i thought it was good it was like the only thing i could it was good. That's the only thing that I think everyone would enjoy. Well, it was nice, but I don't know. Except no one's going to use that.

But it was like, dude, it was either that or buy an Apple Watch or something. Then I was like, okay, half the people here would already have an Apple Watch if they wanted an Apple Watch. But dude, like, what? Big Cat has an Apple Watch. Brandon could buy an Apple Watch if apple watch well brandon could buy an apple watch if you want a yankee swap nick could buy an apple watch if he wanted one but that and

then at that point like anybody who has a job could get any gift that they wanted so why give anyone well because like getting something i feel like getting something that's like 20 dollars is easier because you're like okay i can get something that's like unique or cool for 20 bucks and also it's only 20 bucks so it's like no one's really going to be like oh i was expecting something huge out of this i don't know what would you have gotten for the 500 i feel bad for your parents because you they anything that they probably get you as a gift you're probably like i don't know mom no it's not at all i'm very grateful i actually don't even really like getting gifts yeah that's probably why i tell i told my parents don't get me anything for christmas are they going to listen to that probably not yeah my parents they'll probably end up getting me some like gay

ass zip up hoodie exactly and you're gonna be such a dickhead thanks no i actually i texted my mom and i said if you get me clothes don't get any sweatshirts with zippers really because they always get me some some like weird quarter zip that I would wear to a funeral. And I'm like, when am I ever going to wear this? Why would you wear a quarter zip to a funeral? Mark Zuckerberg funeral? I've never been to a funeral, bro. Really? Never been to a funeral or a wedding.

Yeah, what do they wear at those things? I assumed it was just business casual. Just like a fucking early 2000s tech guy? Yeah. Like a hacker's outfit from the movie Swordfish? What would you have gotten for the 500 gift don't no spoilers don't say what mine was maybe tickets to something like tickets to a concert or something okay so i was gonna do something like that i was gonna do like a delta gift card something like that like a 500 gift card but then everyone was like don't get a gift

card because that's not gonna make it good for a good show. And then what if I get tickets for something and no one wants that? Maybe like a $500 bottle of like Belvedere or some shit like that. Mmm. Mmm. People would use that. Yeah, they would. As a re-gift. That would be re-gifted.

No. People would use something that's perishable some something that's like food or some shit like i i dude i tried i was looking for so much shit i went to rei i was because then i was eventually i was like now i'm just gonna buy i'm trying to buy something like what would i want for 500 or just something big and dumb i found these gloves heated gloves 500 gloves and they're for people who are like climbing everest yeah and i'm like i was like well new york's freezing i was like who wouldn't want their hands to be nice and toasty heated gloves, $500 gloves. And they're for people who are like climbing Everest. Yeah, that would have been dope. I was like, well, New York's freezing.

I was like, who wouldn't want their hands to be nice and toasty all day? So why didn't you get that? And I went to REI and they didn't have them. What even is REI? You don't know what REI is? That's why Mook didn't know what REI was either. I don't know what the fuck it is. You don't know what it is?

It's like an outdoor store. It's like a chain. Maybe it's like a Massachusetts thing because they're everywhere in Massachusetts. But there's one in New York in Soho. it's probably one of the biggest stores in soho i'm not much of an outdoorsman like that i'm not that's why i was like no one's gonna want this i don't like how outdoors clothes look like anybody that like outdoorsy clothes i don't think that shit's like what do you know i don't think it looks what do you mean by that i think it looks dumb i think like you don't yeah lb and i think? Yeah, L.L. Bean, I think. Oh, I love L.L. Bean.

It looks kind of dumb. Like, I think that a lot of just outdoorsy fucking, like, gorp core fucking, like, ski wear, like, hiking wear. I think all that shit kind of looks dumb as fuck. I think it looks cool. Do you? Mm-hmm. Well, I'll get you a nice bubble jacket. Well, no, I don't want that.

Well, what do you want? You don't have to get me anything. I'll get you something. No, I don't want that. Well, what do you want? You don't have to get me anything. I'll get you something. No, I'll get you something. I dare you to get me something. I will. I have to go Christmas shopping this week. The thing I got.

And I have to go birth this. My mom's birthday on Wednesday. Oh, my fucking God, dude. Parents just don't understand. My life is a prison, dude. I have it so hard. Your mom has it hard. Her birthday's in the middle of Hanukkah

She probably gets her gifts cut in half You want to sing it with me? I don't fucking know dude I don't know what that is No? What do you mean? You guys don't celebrate? Hanukkah? Why don't we celebrate Hanukkah?

You're Jewish! Bro I'm half Jewish We're not like religious Jewish We celebrate Hanukkah. You're Jewish. Bro, I'm half Jewish. So? Celebrate three and a half days. We're not like religious Jewish. But you don't celebrate? We used to celebrate Hanukkah as like my dad would try and make us do it. And then everyone was like, what the fuck are we doing? These hats are funny, dad.

Yeah, you're like, take this hat off. I don't understand this song. Well, it doesn't even fit around my head. Candles don't make sense. Why would you get me a hat that I'm not going to wear? This doesn't fit dad did you ever have any have you ever do you have anyone like in your family whoever like would be like they'd like reject a gift be like why'd you give me this like i know you said i would do that i've never done that have you ever like had have you ever seen someone do no because we're just polite normal people yeah one of my younger cousins did that hard one time

she was like really young when she did it, though. To my mom. What do you mean? My mom got her, like, pajamas, and she was like, why would you get me pajamas when you know I'm getting them for Christmas? Wait, what? My mom was like, what the fuck? How old was she?

Like, probably, like, five. I don't know. That's hilarious, because at that age, kids do not know what, like, they're supposed to be nice about yeah it was it was wild i remember like like my grandma getting like my younger cousins like certain gifts and i like knew that the gift sucked and like the younger cousin was like too young to like know to be like yes thank you oh yeah because kids get bummed oh my gosh they probably get there's the tears gone it's, why would you give me this?

A necklace? Yeah. I don't like necklaces. Wow. Okay. All right. Thanks. I actually wanted video games. And then they instantly go over to the tree looking for another gift.

They're like, that can't be the only thing. No, there has to be something else for me. Yeah. No, that can't be it. It's behind the tree, maybe? It's a joke if. Yeah. Shake in the tree to see if something else falls out i'm trying to

think of the worst gift i've already told you about this the one that i got my grandma got me it was a it was a wizards of waverly place magic wand with like selena gomez's voice in the inside of it and my grandma like didn't know that's what it was and i just became the laughing stock of christmas the entire family everyone was just howling laughing. Hit it again, hair. Yeah. That's what it was. And it would be like,

make this pimple disappear in Selena Gomez's voice. Crazy that you were... But also, I grew up in a family with all girls. So it was probably just... I would get flamed on a lot. By the girls? Oh, girls oh for not being masculine enough it's like bitch you're a girl yeah what do you mean i'm not masculine enough they would

rip me you're born a woman yeah i used to get bullied in the house a lot by the ladies well it'd be like in christmas it'd be like my cousins would they used to live in illinois and they would come down to massachusetts and we all go to my grandparents and it would be like 20 women in the house and then like me and my dad there's a lot of pressure on you yeah you have to like keep your family's name alive i know crazy that your uh grandmom gave you a waverly place toy oh yeah i know right all things considered yeah i don't really give a fuck bro i think people like know exactly like what apartment we live in and what address i live in, where my address is. I might as well send you something nice.

I have people that live above us yell my name on a Saturday night when it's laid out. They'll be like, Sass, come on out, man. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. You should go out with them. Never. Why not? and I'm like Jesus Christ you should go out with them never why not I have people like all like I like open the door the other day and some I was like going into our apartment and there was a kid stuck outside I let him in and he called

his buddy and he was like yeah yeah I'm in he's like little sass just let me in and I was like he didn't say nothing to me that's just so much weird right and I gotta go up fucking 15 flights of stairs and we're just like walking next to each other. But I know you didn't even try to make small talk with him.

And I respect that. Absolutely not. Yeah. I feel like the pressure to be nice to strangers who like put me in a situation like that. And you just don't give a fuck. You'll make it. You're not about to like feel awkward. So someone else doesn't have to.

You'll just be like, yeah, we'll both just feel awkward and walk up these steps because i ain't talking to you yeah i'll usually sometimes i'll fall back start going slow check your phone yeah act like you've just remembered something and have to start yeah yeah you know it's sneakily embarrassing having to turn around while you're walking in public i do that today having to change directions yeah it's mortifying because then it's like what did i they're like, oh, this guy's visiting. You start to talk out loud to yourself. Like, wait, I forgot to do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then just turn around. Yeah, I had to do that today. You want people to see that you're realizing in your head so you act. Yeah, because you're walking and then all of a sudden

you just have to make a hard 180. It happens to me in airports all the time. I'll just be wandering a certain direction in an airport and have to turn around and i'll be self-conscious to myself about just the fact that i had to change directions yeah dude it's embarrassing getting lost it's there going the wrong way or just like the first time you're trying to find your way like my first month in new york i either went the wrong way or like got on the wrong soap like the wrong train or like every single day on the transit, there would be a problem,

and I'd feel dumb about myself. Transit's tough. It is tough as a man, dude. Us as men, we're supposed to have our directions on lock. Oh, big time. And that was by the age of my life where there are other men

who just would be like, we'll drive somewhere, and they'll have memorized the directions. I know where you're going. I just think that was so impressive. It is impressive. It's impressive as fuck. My parents would know where to go in the town, even though lived there for like 20 years yeah it's like oh i know

how the fuck do they know how to get there what the fuck without pulling up the gps i remember when i first got my license dude i had to pull up the gps for places that i'd like been a hundred times so i was like actually i have no idea how to drive there you still might as well might as well pull up ways just to see if there's any police on the way. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by SoCo. That's right. Sazerac. SoCo.

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It'll mix in perfect. Click the link in the description below to see more cool stuff from SoCo. He's sass and I'm class. Exactly. Just like SoCo. Just like SoCo. Yeah. The Waze is a little much.

Waze lies to you. Have you ever had an Uber driver with the Waze on and it's like DJ Khaled's voice coming through? No. You know how you can change the voice? Yeah. You can change it's like a drill sergeant i think or like the tiktok guy turn left yeah yeah yeah that's what it's weird dude i don't really fuck with that but ways lies to you like ways always has a faster time than like apple or google yeah and it's because they like make it a sooner time and then then as you go, the time goes up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably don't put traffic. They probably don't add the traffic in. Dude, the Apple Maps is the best one by a mile. I'd never have understood why people have like Google Maps downloaded on their phone. People are obsessed with it. People are addicted to Waze. Well, I never thought Waze was good.

Waze always pissed me off because like I don't need to know every time there's a fucking cop every 30 seconds. I do. Because you don't break the law. It there's a fucking cop every 30 seconds. I do. Cause you don't break the law. It's cause you're, it's cause you're smoking while you're high. I'm smoking while I'm high. You're driving while you're high. Have you seen that commercial?

Have you seen that commercial dude? No. This one got me. This one like made me anxious. It was giving me like PTSD. They're like, it's this, it's like,

it's like from like a POV and it was playing all weekend when I was at the hotel. They'd go and he'd go up. He'd be like, hey, mom, how's it going? She goes, I can tell. Then it would go through all these scenarios, him pulling up to the family cookout. The grandpa's like, I can tell. Then, oh, dude, it was uncomfortable. Then the cop pulls him over and he's like, I can tell.

They're like driving high is a dui that's hilarious but that shit like from the pov dude like you don't have to put me through that it is nothing is worse than someone noticing that you even if you're like in a state where it's legal and you have full impunity to be smoking it's like you guys just smoke it's like no yeah That shit made me really anxious. When we went out to a restaurant in Los Angeles after we recorded,

we like went out to just like get dinner afterwards. And I think that like we walked into the restaurant and like our table wasn't ready. So they like had a stand in some area. Yeah. And the lady just stared at us. There was no seats for us it was like a area with like a just a bunch of

wine bottles set up we just stood there and the lady just stared at us and i was like are you worried that we're gonna like steal something was i there for this i don't think so no this is this week this past week and i was like you are like are you worried we're gonna steal something and she's like no i'm not worried about that. But I guess, I don't know. I mean, we did just smoke before we went in there. Isn't weed legal in? Yeah, it's 100%. And it's like California.

She just said, go stand over there. So we stood over there. And then she was just grilling us. And we're like, why is she staring at us? And then she sat us. That's so weird. And it's like cold out. And she sat us in the outdoor area.

Oh, Jesus. She was trying to shit on us. And she was like, no, I'm not worried about that. Just stared us down. That's annoying. Yeah, she just dicked us. She should have beaten some ass. Shitted on us. You need to start taking names. Oves came and met up with us and he was like, did you guys just smoke?

Oh, really? And whenever you hear from Oves. Did you just reek? I don't know. I don't think so. Maybe a little bit. Our eyes probably look heavy. You definitely stank. No, we were with Edwin. Edwin's eyes get high, high bro Edwin looks the highest whenever we're out oh really yeah

dude Obes was telling a story he like fucking hasn't been able to shoot he said dude cause he fucked up his hand he fucked up his hand he used to tell him the story about how he fucked up his hands

he said like he like fell on some glass and it hit both of his hands yeah yeah yeah but he was like horse playing in a pool so like the pool

was slowly filled up with blood that's fucked up dude hit both of his hands yeah yeah yeah but he was like horse playing in a pool so like oh yeah yeah that's fucked up dude i mean i would have terrible anxiety about filling a blood filling up with blood and you're like you get out of the pool like that's all me yeah and they have to drain the pool like yeah you might as well have taken a shit in the pool you have to drain it or do they just clean it i don't know i thought he was with diddy i didn't know who's his thanksgiving but way worse if it's like it? I don't know. I thought he was with Diddy. I didn't know it was Thanksgiving but it was way worse if it was like a Diddy party or something like that. Oh, I thought he was

with Diddy too. Yeah, I thought so too. No, he was with like one of his 18 brothers. That's crazy. Which is nuts but I don't know. Talk about a buzz kill.

Yeah, he said he like didn't want to go to the hospital and they're like, no, like you're bleeding in the pool. Yeah, you gotta go to the hospital. It looks like a shark attack in the fucking pool right now. Dude, that sucks. They have to drain it because like I'm, there's no way I'm swimming in a the pool. Yeah, you gotta go to the hospital. It looks like a shark attack in the fucking pool right now.

Dude, that sucks. They have to drain it. There's no way I'm swimming in a fucking pool. Big cat. I have to. I'm sorry. Come. Come. Why are people online saying Jalen Hurts broke his collarbone, Roan? Why? Why?

I don't know if this is true. I just searched it and everyone's saying like, oh my god, what happened? Why? Why? Oh, no. I don't know if this is true. I just searched it and everyone's saying like, oh, my God, what happened? Why? Are they actually saying that? I hope it's not true, but why, Roan? This is stressing me the fuck out. I'm sick. Just.

What the fuck? What the fuck? Is anyone saying this? You know what? You guys keep going. Oh, no. I'm not going to. Are they actually saying that?

There's a couple verified accounts, but it could be fake. No, it was on that play that we talked about the other day. I know, because they landed on him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wow, that would be devastating. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, Jalen Hurts. This is literally the only thing I'd ever interrupt this podcast for.

I thought that was appropriate. Like, why? Why? Why? This person says Jalen Hurts likely has a broken collarbone, which will end his regular season per source. And the odds and the line against the Cowboys went from one to three. Everyone kept on being like, something's up, something's up. Oh, my God.

But they're saying it's a fake. The one has been deleted already. They're saying it's a fake. The one has been deleted already. They're saying it's a fake blue checkmark. Why are people saying this, though? That's not right. That's not right. That's mean-spirited. Dude, I'm putty right now.

So even if you're trying to manipulate me. What do you mean? Is this a rumor? Dude. He just tweeted it. Mook. No, he has a future. I win $200,000 if the Eagles win the Super Bowl. I care more than anyone.

It's the only way for me to get back to even this year. It's a Twitter blue subscriber. These are Twitter blue guys. These are Twitter blue guys. So are we okay? Where's Stella Blue on her Twitter blue? I'm seeing a lot of tweets. But then people are saying waiting for news.

Apparently there is a shoulder injury. Oh my God. But he was throwing after that. He was throwing dimes after that. I'm seeing a shit ton of tweets. Phil Rivers played an AFC Championship game on a torn ACL. Okay. Fuck.

Fuck. Dude, I can't. How long does a collarbone take to a heel? That's what I'm saying. Why can't they just fucking put it back together? Just glue it together. Get some silly putty. A collarbone is like an injury you get when you're like wrestling with your friends when

you're like 12 years old in the backyard. My mom found out that she got a broken collarbone when she was a kid and she never even knew. And she's got a sick arm. And she, my mom fucking slings it. She can throw it 70 yards. She slings it. My mom is like Kyle Bowler throwing from his knees. This is like when Derek Rose tore his ACL and like callers would call into Chicago Sports Radio and be like, I tore my ACL.

I was playing 18 holes like six months later. It's like, yeah, a little different than dunking a basketball, playing in the NBA. Yeah, he's in the playoffs right now. There's no six month window for him. This is terrible. Why are people saying this? This can't be good. There's a shit ton of people saying it, but it could just be a rumor.

I looked. But if the odds are changing, that's kind of a huge thing. I don't think they changed the odds for fake tweets. Shepter just tweeted it. What did he say? Shepter just tweeted it. Uncertain to play Saturday versus the Cowboys because of a sprained shoulder. Sprained shoulder we can deal with.

Sprained shoulder. We can deal with shoulder. We can just sprain shoulders. Yeah. It was hurting the exact play that we're talking about when he got tackled on it. But yeah, sprained from Sheffield. Nothing. Time.

What the fuck? I keep on getting shivers. And this is exactly what I thought would happen. I knew that the, the, the, the bears playing the Eagles, it was going to be bad.

Garofalo said sprained shoulder. Sustained a shoulder injury. What do you think they're just saying? Gardner Minshew's really good. You cover up a break. Gardner Minshew's really good. Yeah, you think they're just covering it up? Gardner Minshew's really good.

Yeah? Gardner Minshew could be Nick Foles. Fuck. He's not Jalen Hurts. I have... For sure. Fuck. I've basically already spent the winnings on this ticket.

I don't know what to do. This is so bad. It's time to cash out. This is so bad. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. This can't happen. We need to fucking manifest this.

Big Cat, before you leave. This can't happen. Have you ever had to feel the embarrassment of having to change directions in public? Oh, yeah. Do the fake phone call. Yeah. You just pop out your phone. But what?

Oh, OK. I'll be right there. I'll be back there. Oh, yeah. Just turn around. That's a smart one. I had to do it today when I was walking to the dermatologist. I went like three blocks.

You went to the dermatologist? Yeah. We already touched on it a couple times. We have four shows where we talk about sassy skin. All we talk about is my skin in my apartment. That's the extent of this show. Yeah, you either do the fake phone call or you do one of these

where you're walking and you just go... Yes. You act for the people around you. You just had an idea. You're right. I am going the wrong just had an idea. You show everybody that you just had an idea. I am going the wrong way, but very quickly. I tried to use that to make me feel better, and it didn't work. I do not feel better.

This is my biggest fear. This is my worst nightmare. I literally thought about it, and I was scared to even think about it. The fucking Bears ruining this ticket is so perfect. He tweeted it and said, the Eagles and Jalen Hurts agent Nicole Lynn said... He's got an all-female team. Shout out, Jalen. Shout out, Jalen.

Shout out, Jalen. He just bought Louis bags for his whole offensive line. Fucking love it. Did they not get the Louis bags? They couldn't protect him more? Were the bags not nice enough? Imagine if they were like the fake ones you buy on Canal Street. Oh, my God.

And all his offensive line. I'm going to fuck this guy. We're not blocking for him. Yeah, they all step aside. He said they don't believe it's a long-term injury. Who said that? Schefter.

We need to win one more game to clinch. And then, dude, if they win one more game, he can sit out for a month. He doesn't have to play until mid-January.

You think they can win without him? If this Eagles line gets to seven against the Cowboys, I might have to just put $200,000 on Gardner Minshew. Yeah. And just get it right now. Yeah.

And then get out. No, no, no. Don't get out. No, no, no, no, no, no. If I want to get out. If I want to get out. Get it. What?

Everyone's just saying it? No. Fuck. I'm so scared. I'm sorry, Ron. I didn't want to be in here to say this. This is so. This is so. Yeah,'m sorry, Ron. I didn't want to be in here to say this. This is so... Yeah, Shepard, just read it again.

Say there's a real chance that Gardner Minshew could start Saturday versus the Cowboys. My insides are vibrating. This is... Oh, man. Is the Cowboys lost this week? I'm starting to stress eat. Yeah. Give me half of that.

What happens if they lose? Yeah, I had a Snickers bar in my pocket. What happens if they lose today? Philly. Who do they lose next week? Fine. Nothing? They just have to win one more game. And they have home field throughout.

One more game. Damn. You gotta win one more game. Three games left. They'll be fine. Win one game. One more game. Yeah, they'll be fine.

We might have to start Roan's mom at quarterback. If someone can handle a collarbone, it's my mom. I don't think you can play through a broken collarbone. No, shut up. You couldn't. We'll take your collarbone. You can barely

podcast with a biopsy. I'm saying that I think that he probably didn't break his collarbone because if he did, he wouldn't have been able to finish the game. If he did, we're taking your collarbone forcibly out of your body like the minds who took the heart out of fine with that you don't even need the collarbells looking good now though the bills are looking good fuck you this is also the part of the season nfl season that really fucks me up i'm not a smart person the fact that there are is a bye week that potentially the eagles

could get if you ask me right now, when do the playoffs start? It'd be like two months. No. It's like three weeks. Yeah. But it's two months in my head. It's like so many weekends. No, it's happening right now.

Yeah. There's no time to get back from the series. There's so many bowl games and Christmas and New Year's in between that it feels like it's forever. You can't get back. The first playoff game is like the 14th. That's one, two, three weekends before then. Jesus Christ. I want to cry.

All right. This is bad news. I'm pissed off, but also thankful that you came in. Yeah, because I would have sucked if you had missed everything and walked out and been like, what?

Jalen Hurts is dead. This is like those old school. It used to happen like old school Internet. Like every August, there would be the rumor like Drew Brees got hit by a

car and lost both his legs. Yeah. It would actually pick up traction for like an hour. It was always awesome. You could start that good ass shit back then. Yeah, they'd always be specific to like Drew Brees got hit by an Audi trying to cross the street. Broke both his legs.

License plate number is. Yeah. All right. Fuck. Thank you, Big Cat. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm going to go talk to Max.

That sucks. Let's talk to some doctors. Yeah, yeah. Let's link up with a fucking doctor or something like that. Let's link up. Oh, God. Did that get in? It was his audio in?

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makes for a great stocking stuffer go pick one up before the holiday season. Really kicks into gear this weekend. Alrighty. Come on. Ridgewallet. Ridgewallet. But what even is a sprained shoulder?

Fucked up. That's what it is. He doesn't even throw, bro. He runs. He's a runner. But what if that affects his ability to run? Bro. He lowers his shoulder.

That's like what he runs with. He's a to run? He lowers his shoulder. That's like what he runs with. He's a fucking truck. Lower the other shoulder. No. He likes to lower that shoulder. Is their backup any good or no? Yeah, Gardner Minshew's actually good as hell.

Not as good as Jalen Hurts, though. Bitch. No one's as good as Jalen Hurts. Yeah, exactly. He's not as good as the MVP of the league. This is like right when Carson Wentz got here. Yeah, I was about to say that. I mean, good outcome outcome But I don't know I don't want to rely on that

Why do you think we'll know? But yeah, what me and Tyler were saying You think they would even say If his collarbone was in half right now They would be like, yeah, it's looking like just a sprained shoulder We'll get back to you guys in a couple days You think? I think they're going to put it off for a bit, dude.

He's not playing this week. He's not going to play this week. He's not going to play the rest of the regular season, probably. You don't think he's going to play? The Cowboys aren't bad. No shit, bro. And we beat them when they had their backup in. We beat them when they had Cooper Rush in, not Dak Prescott.

Fuck. It's going to be a good game, though. Christmas Eve, dude. All I want for Christmas is the Bears to beat the Bulls. Shayna, I'm begging you. Don't let Jalen Hurts be hurt, dude.

Jalen doesn't hurt. That's what I want his name to be. Yeah, Jalen Hurt. We're like Jalen Hurt, bro. We're like Jalen Hurt for the rest of the season. Tweet that. That would pick up some traction.

Yeah, of you getting your ass beat. Some traction, some track marks on your back from getting stomped out, bro. Did any of the odds change for the maybe I'll throw a future. The MVP odds changed a lot or I guess I mean from place to place, but people kept on all day. They've been like

something's up. It's like what the fuck could be up. It's so weird that they can just hold that information. Oh shit dude. The Bills are the top pick right now. Shut the fuck up pussy. Actually this is the perfect time to bet on the Eagles. Odds go up.

You get back in. Odds are 430. 430? Plus 430. For what? For them to win the Super Bowl. The Eagles? Yeah. Well, right now. Oh, that's a long shot. Well, the number one is plus 350. I put $10,000 on it right now. How much did you put on it

in the beginning of the season? I didn't bet on that. I bet on them to win the NFC's, but not even for a lot of money. Did you have a future for them to win the Super of the season. I didn't bet on that. I bet on them to win the NFC East, but not even for a lot of money. Did you have a future for them to win the Super Bowl? No. Oh. I'm not addicted to gambling. I just like to do it as a hobby.

You're fully in. Do not joke about that. No, I'm sorry. That's not even close to funny. That's not even close to funny. Dave! Dave! No one should joke about that. Sass is gambling!

This weekend my in-laws came up. Yeah. My brother-in-law, the one who I'm going to buy a cow for. Good country folk. Damn. Okay, Rick Ross. A boss is one who guarantee we go, nee. I spend more money

on my cow's hooves than you spend on your wife that's probably true I watch that video three times a day we were literally watching it all week oh really? I watch it all the time I ain't bought her I caught her

cause I ain't blessed with a fee I'm blessed with who I'm best to be she ain't blessed because I'm blessed with a fee. I'm blessed with who I'm best to be. She ain't blessed because I'm blessed with a fee. She's blessed because I'm who I'm blessed to be. We definitely can't play that Diddy song, right? No. Which one? Dude, it was a throwback from one of his shows. We were watching the Gilly video on this.

Oh, yeah, we can play that. On repeat. All right, I'm texting. Because that's them singing a song. Who? Gilly and Wallo? No, it's the dudes from... Way better. Like, making that's them singing a song. Who? Gillian Wallow? No, it's the dudes from like making the band

singing a song. A Rick Ross song? No, it's like they're in like it's like a dance it's like a fucking rap battle but they're like singing R&B songs

to each other. I'm texting it to you now. It's awesome. But yeah, we watched that Gilly video and this probably a hundred times in the two days we were there the ghillie video was amazing

Abos is one who guaranteed we go to why didn't you resign with Meek man you're lucky Meek started fucking with them white boys you got him in a 1914 Harriet Tubman type deal

1914 did he get it You got him in a 1914 Harriet Tubman type deal. 1914. Did he get it? I'll just play it again. A Harriet Tubman joint. Do you want it? Yeah, I don't think I've gotten it. It's not coming through for me. Oh, no, I just got it.

I just got it. It's just a banger. this is a rap battle dude what the fuck is this it's unnatural you belong to me they're all laughing yeah because they're like damn how are we getting served like this you see how diddy doesn't break a smile he looks furious he's like why did i, what did I get myself into? No, these brothers are spitting. You can tell he's taking it dead serious. Because the dude next to him is clapping. Oh, look at the white boy.

I got the white dude. That is the white dude, like eight feet tall. He's standing on a couch. The way they all hit. That's awesome. What is that from? It's from Making the Band season four. When they tried to make an R& uh r&b group or whatever that's crazy this made me go back and

watch so many clips i gotta see that it's so fucking sick because they are they're all in the house like in the early making the bands they literally had like the dude enos who's a battle rapper he was like battling against dudes they were like fucking rapping against each other and uh like it was successful and then they try and bring it back with the r&b dudes but they can't like battle rap each other so they like sing battle each other yeah but the way they're looking dead in the other guy's eyes being like oh that's hilarious like bucking at him like they're about to hit him that's so funny so hard and sweet battles yeah awesome singing battles. That's awesome. Singing battles. That's kind of what Versus battles were. Remember during COVID

when like there were like massive Versus battles? Yeah. Those were sweet as fuck. And I feel like Versus sold for like Twitter money. Like Versus was like a massive I don't think I've ever seen it.

It's like it would be like two it would be like Snoop Dogg against like fucking like P. Diddy or something like that. And they would both like they go back and forth like doing their best hits ever oh so like one would do a hit and one would do a hit it was

very cool that sounds good and they were like all talk shit to each other like these that's awesome i gotta go back and watch that those were very they were they were a good time but it was just funny to have dudes like yeah singing their song like it's not a bad it's like not a battle song and fucking pitch perfect yeah it really was yeah pitch perfect probably saw like making the band season four probably that's probably exactly what it what if we brought this to the white folks yeah west side story vibe yeah it really was the sharks and the jets but yeah we watched that and gilly just gnaws dude how are you feeling around what do you mean you know what i mean phone just buzzed it's probably jaylen dude fuck you run cash out now they're taking they're saying my arm might be coming off cash out hanging by yeah oh fuck what happened nothing anyway my

brother-in-law or whatever was in town, the one who I'm buying a cow for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you buying him a cow? He wants one. Oh, okay. Is that like a Christmas present? I mean, I'm not getting it yet, but eventually I got to get him a cow. Oh, okay.

But you said you need to buy him in twos, right? Oh, yeah, you got to. I need a little two for one deal for my cow. I need a little two for one deal for my cow. But we went to a bar in Williamsburg. Oh, sorry, bro. I'm just checking in on the Eagles news. What are you finding out?

It's not looking good. Fuck you, dude. What are you finding out? Or are you in one of your little tweet deck fucking... Bro, I'm checking in on the news. What does it say? I will say it is a little weird. Schefter went with a weird... Usually he's got the good graphics.

This one's a little low. It's low-fi. It's low-fi. I noticed that too. I was like, is that on my phone? Makes me think, is he hacked? Honestly, like... This isn't even like his font or anything.

He never has the at right there. He probably jacked it from somebody or like some new interns trying to... Or he downloaded it somewhere where he doesn't have good internet i don't know that shit's happened to me before that does happen yeah it's infuriating when it does happen i'm a little more worried about shifter than i am hurts shifty is everything all right yeah what's up with this lo-fi picture is everything all right buddy also why do people suddenly have square profile pictures? What the fuck? ESPN has a square profile picture?

Jalen Hurts is uncertain to play Saturday versus the Cowboys due to a strained shoulder. But he suffered during Sunday's run over the Bears. Is it a strain or a sprain? Strained. Is it strained or sprained? Oh, sprained, sprained, sprained. Same thing, bro. No, they're various degrees of the same thing

and they're both a tear like a fucking sprain is a tear and a strain is a tear and a tear is a tear does it piss you off seeing people being like bro he's so scared to play the cowboys who's saying that if you look at any post all the comments say he's scared no i know no he's not scared. That shit would piss me off because it's like they're going to destroy the Cowboys. If he plays. Yeah. If he doesn't play, it's going to be hard as fuck to beat the Cowboys.

Cowboys suck, bro. The Cowboys are frauds. No, the Cowboys are frauds. You know who are frauds? The Cowboys. No, they're not, dude. Don't say that. Cowboys are frauds.

We need to take the Cowboys seriously. You know who's not frauds? 49ers. Me and Mook were talking about that. No, you frauds. We need to take the Cowboys seriously. You know who's not frauds? 49ers. Me and Mook were talking about that. No, you're just recycling Mook's takes. Danger. Danger. No, Mook just gave you some takes, and you're just fucking regurgitating what he said.

I just read a couple tweets so I could spit that. Fred Warner. Charverius Ward. I don't know, man. I'm worried. But I want to ride. I'm going to ride that same bed how much are you what's your payout on what your bet for them to win the division nfc east yeah probably like

18 000 how much did you put down no not it's not even anything like that it's probably like a thousand dollars oh shit not even so it wasn't like a philly's bed no no philly's bet was different and now i'm kind of trying to use the karma of not making a massive bet on them to be like, if they win, they win. Like, that's what I'm secretly telling myself in my head. If they get to the Super Bowl, how much are you going to put on them to win? Whatever I have. So you're going to put everything on it? Yeah, whatever I have.

Whatever's available. The maximum amount that I can put on it. I'm going to put a mattress max on it. I'm going to put a mattress max. I'm going to bet $18 million on that. I think I might do that. Yeah? Right now. Everything.

You should. Put the house on it. But what if he's hurt, bro? I think... I think if he's hurt, we could maybe... I think they still might win. I think it might be one of those situations. Like the Nick Foles situation? Yeah. Exactly. Like Nick Foles. Do you know what I'm talking still might win. I think it might be one of those situations. Like the Nick Foles situation?

Yeah, exactly. Like Nick Foles. Do you know what I'm talking about? Exactly. You don't even know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I do, bro. You don't even know how he beat your used-to-be favorite team, the Patriots, in the Super Bowl. So the Patriots were never my favorite team, bro.

Yeah, they were. Back when I didn't know ball. Yeah, so they were your favorite team. Now I root for the winners. That's why I've got the Eagles, the Bills, and now the Chiefs, too. I just picked up some Chiefs gear. You did? Now.

That was a point the hell out of me. And you wore that cowboy shit all year. Yeah, but that was because I got that at a thrift store. I didn't even know who the cowboys were. I didn't know what they were all about. I didn't, bro. Smoking Marlboros. Who's their owner? The guy that was in, like, the about. I didn't, bro. Smoking Marlboros. Who's their owner?

The guy that was in the picture? Jerry Jones. Jerry Jones. I burned that shit as soon as I found out about Jerry Jones. No, you probably fucking framed it. I rapped it hard. I rapped it hard that night. Yo, this dude Jerry Jones was a historic goat.

Yeah. He stood up for what he believed in. That's what it's all about, dude. It's all about just standing up for what you believe in. It didn't matter that what he believed in was wrong it matters that what he stood up for it it matters that he had morals dude everybody else is just like tries to stay in the middle and won't pick a side like at least he picked a side yes it was the wrong side but he was going for it man exactly and i respect the fuck out of that oh man how does this usually go i don't think i've ever

none of my none of my uh favorite players have injured before, so how long until we know? Gabe Davis was hurt this year. No, he wasn't. You missed games this year. Gabe? Must have been early season. Yeah, it was before you even learned who he was. It must have been before I knew who the Bills were.

Before you learned that he existed. He's never been hurt. Had to have been early season. I don't really clock in until halfway through the season. Until I meet him. That's how I roll. Then I pick. Then I see who's the best, who has the biggest chance of going to the Super Bowl, and then

I pick my team. You know, that's literally what Wallow does. Really? Yeah, he just picks the best team every year. Dude, it's the most fun way. People are like, dude, you're not a real fan. It's like, yeah, no shit, I'm not a real fan. I've been following them for like three weeks.

Being a real fan is so overrated, too. Yeah, it picked the winners and now i'm gonna go in bills are gonna win the super bowl and i'm gonna be like yeah dude that's my team until next year maybe the patriots will be my team next year just kidding i'm loyal to the bills now yeah have to be and eagles and the eagles yeah and the birds of course of course and the chiefs and the colts not the colts the cowboys. Colts? You know who I'm not loyal to is the Bucs. Yeah, because they stink now. They suck ass. What about the 49ers?

No, not the 49ers, bro. I don't think the 49ers are going to be a problem. I think you guys are going to smoke the 49ers. Smoke? Smoke. Roll them up? If you got hurts. Put them in a spliff?

If you don't have hurts, they're going to fucking 69 you. They're going to fuck you guys. Stop shit bro damn that's clean write that down damn bro i don't even want to tell the story about my brother oh yeah let's hear the let's hear the cow i want to hear about the cow no i already talked about the cow oh yeah wait who tell the story about your brother but he was just coming sorry bro i'm just thinking no i can't stop thinking ball right i can't either that's all i'm thinking about all the details that i had lined up in my head or just flip my we went to a honky tonk bar in the middle of williamsburg and i was just walking around asking all like the williamsburg hook uh hipsters how many uh like how many acres

they were sitting on. Oh, damn. What were they saying? Like a TikTok video? Huh? Like a TikTok video? It sounds like it should be a TikTok video. It should be, yeah. How many acres do y'all have?

At the, at like the Brooklyn, uh, like the hipster honky tonk bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a honky tonk in Brooklyn? Yeah, there is. Oh, that's brutal. I mean, it's a fun ass time. Is it? Yeah, it's fucking dope.

There's like live, there's live music every night. You're not going to be here for New Year's? No. Damn, that sucks. Why, you wanted to party? Yeah. The boys are coming into town. Bro, you should go to Skinny Dennis.

That's the honky-tonk. No, we're not going out to Brooklyn, bro. Why? It's in Williamson. We're going to Atlantic City. No, you're not. No. You're a pussy-ass when you last a second in Atlantic City. Cheapest heroin

in the United States down there. Really? I think it's more like Cape Cod. What? Cheapest heroin? Yeah. No, that's probably the best heroin. It's probably purest. Most pure heroin. If they gotta take it to an island, that's probably way tougher to get the heroin out there. Atlantic City is like a port, bro.

Cape Cod's got a big heroin problem. Yeah, but it's the rich folks doing heroin up there. No, no. Hyannis bro. Cape Cod's got a big heroin issue. Yeah, but it's the rich folks doing heroin up there. No, no. Hyannis. It's because there's nothing to do other

than the summit, except do heroin. In the off season? And brother, they're good at it. My buddy's about to open up a glasses shop in heroin

in Cape Cod. Glasses and heroin? That would be genius. Yeah. That's how you stay open during the off season. Glasses in the summer,

heroin in the winter. Damn. That's how you stay open during the off season. Glasses in the summer, heroin in the winter. Damn. What were people saying about the acres? People were, I mean, it's not like no one started a fight about it. People were pretty good natured about like, ah, none yet. And like, but the dude who I was with, my brother-in-law, he has acres. Oh, really? He's like a legitimate, like, he's what these dudes were all cosplaying as. How much, how many does he have?

He's not sitting on anything crazy. Tell me. Probably like three. Damn. Three acres is a lot. One acre is a lot, dude. Acres is a lot of land. But still, it's enough for him to get a cow.

More than enough. But he was probably sitting on the most acres in the building. That's got to be a good feeling. And he was like humble about it. That's got to be a good feeling't. That's gotta be a good feeling. And he was like humble about it. That's gotta be a good feeling. It's gotta be an incredible feeling. Most acres in Brooklyn? Yeah.

None of these dudes had acres. No. They were just in their like little bowling shirts and like Hawaiians and shit like that trying to fuck pussy. Is Brooklyn, where you live in Brooklyn, is it that bad? What? Like with those type of dudes? Oh, no.

No, my area is not like that at all. Huh? What did you say? Shams? Shams. Sh dudes. Oh, no. My area is not like that at all. Huh? What did you say? Shams? Shims. Shims? Oh, no. That's not there.

We'll cut that. Let's get that out of there. No, no. Keep that in. But that's a different area. That's the area where you were doing comedy one time. That's that area. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then Williamsburg is like... People are pulling up to the comedy club with skateboards in their hands. Yeah. Everyone. Like a lot of skateboards a lot of skateboards it was like the winter um dude we saw a bike or one of those big wheel accidents you know those like single yeah yeah yeah oh shit someone fell no just bumped into walkers it was like a uh when you bump into someone's like back of the car when you're driving it was like that

but with a group of people walking he just fell and then he had to like wheel away jesus sorry it's my first time i was all embarrassed about himself i would not be riding one of those things in manhattan for the first time it was in chicago but it was right it was right downtown it was i would not be riding one of those things in the city and then like you gotta go to like walk ahead in front of them and then the dude hopped back on his one wheel and like had to approach them again like i like the same way that he just crashed into them. That's crazy. I'd be terrified to have to approach them again. He got like shaky legs about to go down. That's nuts, dude. Those things are horrifying.

Just get like taken out from behind. You die. If you crash on one of those, you die for sure. Or if someone hits you from behind with one of them, two people are dying. Two people at least. It's like the old videos that in the beginning of quarantine, or when were those? When everyone was running into people with their golf carts? No, that was before quarantine.

Oh, that was like right before quarantine. That was like a summer before. No, that was like 2017, 2018. Yeah, I was like high school. Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah, because it was early on. That shit was nuts.

Foreplay. Like Foreplay had to decide if that was going to be their golf content or if they were going to cover it. They like put a bunch of videos up at the beginning and then people were like,

you cannot put this online. This is dangerous content i mean dude it got to the point where people were just like running like like they wouldn't even just hit them then they would drive over them it's like a 1 000 pound golf cart and that is just like drunk dudes laughing yeah that shit i remember watching that and being like dude if someone did that to me i would be so angry. Nice. Feel good? You like that, bro?

Not bad. Plenty more where that came from. Not bad at all. Tight muscle control by me, bro. So we got to do two more episodes this week. Don't think about that, bro. We got to do one tomorrow. What are we doing with KB and Nick? Yeah. Crossover next week. Don't think about that, bro. They got to do one tomorrow. What are you doing with KB

and Nick? Yeah. Crossover next week. Part one, part two. Oh, shit. This is coming out right before Christmas. So Christmas is coming out tomorrow. This is Christmas on Sunday? It's coming out Wednesday. This is our last episode before Christmas. Yeah. This one's Wednesday. Christmas is the 26th crossover.

Yes, that also. It's the 25th. And then, that also is the 25th. And then, yeah, we have one more. Wait, is Wednesday the 21st? Yeah. Do the days start getting longer after that? I think they get longer after. I thought it was after Christmas Eve.

No, the 21st. December 21st? So that's the shortest day of the year is when this podcast is coming out. And so good news, everybody. The days are about to start getting longer. That's huge. That's massive, dude. That's going to help my seasonal depressy.

Yeah? You depressed? I don't really talk a lot about it, but goddamn, I'm fucking depressed. That Jalen Hurts news couldn't have helped. Fuck you, bro. Going to the bottle. Yeah. Fuck you, bro.

Couple drinks tonight. How about I slit your throat? Whoa, whoa, whoa. How's that sound dude speaking of depression i uh i haven't had my zoloft in a while and i've been trying to get it refilled it finally got refilled today because i had to i've been calling the pharmacy they say they're going to refill it they don't so i called my doctor and they're instantly going back to the it's the same thing that happened with the ativan that one time like i'm like like i'm being like having addictive behaviors i'm against i'm asking for 50 milligrams

of zoloft and they're like oh it looks like you already had a refill in december you took all of them i'm like well first of all no i didn't have a refill in december and second of all if i did take all of them what what was going to happen i was thinking i was getting too much serotonin you know what sentence i want to say but i'll let you say that for your act no what was it I did take all of them. What was going to happen? I was taking, I was getting too much serotonin. You know what sentence I want to say, but I'll let you say that for your act. No, what was it? Cut this.

No, don't say it. I'm not saying it. Don't say any of my punchlines. That's what I'm just saying. I suddenly have the urge to take a massive shit. The urge. You won't do it. It's coming out now.

You won't shit. How far in are we? 70. 70? Do you want me to go to the bathroom and come back or do you want to wrap it up? Yeah, we can wrap it up. We'll see everybody next week. Okay.

We'll see you guys next week. Go birds. Hopefully they've recovered by then. Thanks for listening. Peace.