Son of a Boy Dad - Japancis | Son of a Boy Dad #442

Episode Date: October 6, 2026

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All right. Let's do it. All righty, welcome back to the son of a boydad podcast. Today it is October 5th. We are here live from HQ3. Welcome back, fellas, Francis. Welcome back from Japan. Thank you. Japancis.

Japancis returns. And Japanis is the first person to ever have a bad time in Japan. No, no. But that was a jarring text message. to get this week to be like, oh yeah, I gotta get out of here. I need to get the fuck out of here. I've never heard to say that from. Only after four days, too.

Yeah. I had to get home. It's not like your New Zealand trip where you were there for like a fortnight. Yeah. Yeah. No, we, I mean, we just, we just like hurt ourselves for four days. Were you partying a lot? I don't know if we would even, I don't even know if I would say partying even.

And it was like, I'd never adjusted to the time zone. And so then you just had to like live with the hours of the day. Yeah. So I slept three hours a day for four straight days. Yeah, that's not going to do. And by the, I mean, I got my immune system broke. I got super sick. I was so delirious and run down and like just couldn't sleep.

I kept, I kept going to bed. I tried to push it like later and later to try to. wake up later and I would wake up at 5.58 a.m. or within two minutes of that every single morning. Damn. What time were you going to bet? One, two. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah, that's tough. You can't just go back to sleep. What about just going back to sleep? Bro, my body thought I had taken a brilliant afternoon nap. I was so recharged. I was ready to run through a fucking wall. Yeah. First thing in the morning. It's 6 a.m.

Hate that. Don't you? I feel like you need the day, the first day, to not do shit and just try to like languish in bed and like wake up and then languish a little bit more. I don't know. I mean, we landed at like 5 p.m. Got to the hotel at like 6 and went straight out to dinner. I slept all right on the flight. Yeah.

Probably slept like six hours on the flight. So your body thought that was breakfast that you were going out to. Yeah. I don't know what it was. Oh, breakfast. Just you breakfast. I totally lost. track of what was going on where I was.

I could never do the math of converting yen to dollars. So I ended up buying things that were like way more expensive than I thought and only learned after the fact. I just was totally out of my element. Like what's a yen amount purchase that you would make and just say like, oh, 50,000 yen, that's not bad. Yeah, I would buy something and think like, oh, this is going to be like a hundred bucks and it'd be 500.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's not good. And I'd be like, I mean, it's just stupid, but it's not an easy conversion. It's like, no, it's not at all. I mean, we did it before you left on the, on the show. Yeah, unless you get the perfect. Yeah, it's like, I don't know, 1.6 or 158 yen to a dollar. I don't know.

I mean, yeah, it's not like an easy. I'm not a math guy. We all know that. That wasn't easy for me. So. Let me divide that by 158. exactly yeah that's tough like what's the best way to do it is it's like there's what's seven in them seven of them in a dollar or seven dollars in in 10th i never got it there so i'm not going to try to

get it now seven in a thousand dude this had never happened to me i was so exhausted by the fourth day and so run down that i have like five mouth ulcers. Oh, no. I don't like that at all. Canker, cancars sores. Yeah, yeah. My gums, my tongue.

Or worse plague. That's what I'm worried about. That's all I'm thinking about right now. My mouth is in so much pain that even talking, swallowing is just a nightmare. You think you have mono? You might have that plague. He was just in the Orient.

You really could have the plague. You came fresh from the Orient. Remember when we talked about how Japanese women were going to like me? Yeah. I don't think there was a single smile sent my way. Not a smile. I don't think one of them made eye contact with me. Well, that might be their eyes. So to your question about mono, I sure didn't kiss anybody. That's for damn sure. You might have, it sounds like you might have mono, to be honest. Total immune system collapse. No, you're just a break out of the sores. I'm just sick. I've been there. I've had that. Beating down. Everything hurts. Is there a chance they were smiling at you behind two hands? Like this? There was one moment where I did get a woman to laugh.

I was buying coffee and I was buying a coffee and I was like I want a oat milk latte. And she was like, great. And she made it or whatever, rung it up and then was pointed to the board and was like, so there's an up charge for the. And she was like something other than the oat milk addition. And she pointed to that. And it was less expensive what she pointed to. And I was like, oh, I think you should add.

I think you need to add another 100 yen because the oatmeal is this much. And she looked at it and she was like, oh. Oh. How'd that make you feel? It was the first time I'd ever corrected someone to charge me more. Oh, yeah. So I felt good about that. Very Japanese.

But then I also realized that a lot of them don't have great teeth. And so maybe that's why they hide their faces when they laugh. Oh, it could be. Definitely could be. I don't know. Is it the dentistry or the orthodontry? That's wrong. Yeah, crooked or stand?

What are we talking here? Or both? Crooked. It is a distinction. Really? And she had braces. Oh. Okay.

Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. People, it's always weird to me when I see people with braces that are older. And it's like, isn't there like better options than that now? Like Invisaline? Or is Invisaline not really work like that? Some people are.

Need the wires. Yeah. Some people need, like, to bulwark their mouth. Their little muscle behind it. Yeah. Yeah. And I think of Vizaline, people just like, don't wind up doing it. You know, they like, forget it.

They lose it. You got to do it. But I know, but like braces is not like an option. Like, it's fucking locked onto your shit. God, braces are so painful. Crazy. Early. It's every.

I mean, then you got to go get them tightened. and then you're resetting it. Maybe so. But then when you run your tongue over your teeth, right when the braces are off for the first time, it's almost like it's all worth it. Yeah. Smiling like your Hollywood movie star. Hello, everyone. On your back top teeth.

Yeah, that shit is nice. That's a top 10 feeling. Or at least sensation, if not feeling. So what are, give us a couple highlights. Fill us in as much as possible. I feel like I was begging for like a photograph and you sent pictures of a pizza parlor. I apologize.

I was like more picks. Please, please, please, please. More picks. And you sent four different angles of a personal pan pizza. I'm really bad at taking pictures when I'm traveling. I'm really a good sign. I'm really not good at it. I'd like to say that that's the case,

but I don't even know that that feels like I'm being too precious. I don't, I don't know why I just don't. I just don't take pictures, really. Also, I was with two buddies. Like, we were having a great time. Does one of them take a lot of photos? Yeah, one of them was pretty good. He's a shutterbug.

Because when you got one dude taking a lot of photos, then you're like, well, why would I take photos? He's just going to send me his. That's his job. Yeah, that's me. I do that. And then I got no photos of myself. Yeah. I got so many cool photos of my friends, like made a cast in Wyoming.

Yeah. And they'll be like a photo of me just like sitting in a chair hunched over. Uh-huh. That bow took on like an iPhone three to make fun of you. Yeah. Not to capture a great moment because you looked funny in that moment. I know that the canker sores sores in my mouth are a result of exhaustion. That is a, I looked it up and it was like, yep, that happens.

Stress too. When you don't, like sleep deprivation can lead to it. And it's what happened. I see it around your eyes. Do you get cold source? No. We had that discussion on the last episode. I know, I know.

That's why I'm asking. Only ever inside the mouth, which is not cold source. I get, but no, but I've had that too. Those are hot source. I get them in the, the worst, they're worse in the mouth. I'd rather have them outside of the mouth. Yeah. And they take forever.

Oh, they don't heal. Nothing heals inside your mouth. No, it's impossible. Just constantly wet. Yeah. Unless I just lie, like a fucking light on it. Yeah. And you're constantly irritating it.

Yeah, yeah. It's, it's literally hell. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, so, um, the food was cool. the lunches were the highlight. We went to a pizza place called 400 degrees pizza that was the best pizza I've ever had.

Period. Was that the one that you saw photos of? Yes. Yeah, I looked good. It was the best. Bar none. You're telling me that they do better pizzas than New York? I'm not going to say that. I mean, it's different. It's all better than Joe's. Yeah, it's all Neapolitan. So if you like Neapolitan,

like, same. Yeah. I mean, it was crazy. Better than Napoli? You were in Japan. just crushing pizza and beer, which is crazy. Yeah. They got that at the B-dubs. Yeah, I didn't get a single photo of a sushi roll or nothing.

Or like a winding street. Just domestic light beers and pizza. It could have been a Buffalo Wildlings. Like, there was nothing about it. I was, I never went. I was at Sparrow. No, the other really good lunch we had was at this ramen place that has, like a Michelin start only six seats at the counter you go in they put like a bib on you because you're

supposed to slurp it yeah splatter it all over your neighbors and stuff and then can you talk about what you want at that counter or that's it's not one of those yeah they have a couple of options but like but but the thing that you go for is the foie gras ramen it's a foie gras broth and it's like this guy has perfected it over many years he used to cook it a french restaurant restaurant. Did it taste much different from a normal bowl of ramen? Yeah, dude. It was really, it was really fucking good.

And I don't eat that much ramen. So I don't know, maybe I don't have that much of a frame of reference. But that blew me away. You're only in there for half an hour. Oh, really? Yeah. It's a bowl of soup. You got one bowl of soup.

Yeah, I guess that's true. And then they like, and then you go. And then there's another crop because you're like, how does a business that only seat six, six customers? survive. And then you're like, oh, they do,

they do whatever. Do they like rush you out? 30 or 20 fucking covers a day of the whole restaurant. Do they, do they like move you quickly? No, not really. I mean,

we were all done. Yeah. One girl like lapped us. There was a woman in there who I think was Japanese, who literally was done before we were halfway done. That's crazy. And I was like, oh,

people don't know she's left her desk. Was she the black widow? Sonia. on this, the competitive eater? No. This girl, I mean, this girl, like, was a salary woman or whatever. Yeah. You know?

Was there any fat people out there? Not that I saw. You didn't see one? No. That's crazy. You're so nice. A lot of people smoking a lot? No.

A lot of siggies? In the restaurants, yeah. So we went to, like, we went, my buddies booked the dinners. And we went 0 for 3 on dinners. No. Really? Oh for 3. just not good.

And I skipped the last dinner, which was the worst. I'm sorry. We went one for four on dinners. That first dinner, the Izikaya, where we had the incident, which I can't talk about. Still waiting to go to trial and stuff. Yeah, that was a good dinner. Extradited back to you and you got to go back to Japan. Yeah.

That's why he texted, I got to get the fuck out of here. It wasn't like, it was on my ass escaping. He was like sliding across the hood of a car with someone firing. at him. I got to get the fuck out of here. It's the yakuza. They're on my ass. No, um, that was it, that was a really good meal. But then the duds. The three after that were all bad. And I didn't, I skipped the last one because I was too sick to go. And my buddies went and it was the worst meal of the trip. Really? Yeah. So basically they, they, as they put it, they're two New York City Jewish guys who in a classic New York City Jewish fashion had really agonized over booking the restaurant reservations.

And each one would have like an amazing place for us to go on that night. And then somehow the other guy would like talk him out of booking that into booking another place. And every time the first one that they had was like a place that would turn out to be like the best restaurant in Japan. And we had missed it in favor of a place that was a total disaster. Yeah. Disaster how? What do you mean? All right.

So we went to a place and I'm going to, I'm going to say it called sushi you. Why you, you? This was our, the second night we were there was in Omicasse place. This place gets like unbelievable reviews. Yeah. And fucking Doolipa has been a bunch of times. she's always like promoting it. She's friends with the guy.

Yeah. And I know that because he was talking to us and this should have been a red flag. Yeah. He was like, so in New York. And we were like, yeah. And he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we're like, uh-huh.

And then I was like, well, he's like, how'd you find me? And I was like, well, I'm a, I'm a, I was like, I'm friends with Dua Lipa. I made a joke. And then he goes, I'm friends with Dula Lipa. I'm friends. almost defensively.

Oh yeah. Like she's not your friend, she's my friend. It's a zero-sum game. And I was like, yeah, literally I don't know her at all. It's hard in a photo dump. And then, yeah, I think he showed us like a post of her with him behind the, she was behind the counter. Anyway, point is, this place was not good. How so?

I'll give you an example. Like, was the food just bad? Yeah. Like it wasn't like this isn't what we expected. It was just like this isn't good. Bro. Is that dual loop of cooking? There she is.

That's doable. Well, that's why it sucked you at a fucking British pop stars or sushi chef. What the fuck? That thing on the right, that red dish, that sushi with like this fucking cheese, it was the first thing they brought, it was almost an edible. It looks terrible. It was like sushi with like cottage cheese. No one's ever put. those things together. I don't know what the fuck that shit was, but it was, dude, it was bad. It looks

like tuna. I'll give you, Roan. All right. The other problem is, I like that you're worked up. I want to foster that. I want to kind of stoke these flames. New York City, I would say, does fancy omacase as like arguably and unannoyingly, their single best presentation of food. Yeah. We have so many, like, two Michelin Star, fucking Omicose. places. It seems like some of the best chefs from Japan come to New York. And I think L.A. also has this. Yeah. To open Omicasse restaurants that are like $300 to $500 a person. Yeah. And there's a lot of them. They're all, you know, they're everywhere. And I've been to one or two of those. And they're solemn and quiet and dignified and like very serious. This place was more like along the lines of like a fucking sake bombing. frat sushi in like the lower east side yeah like having a good time first of all every single person around the counter was like a white american or scott yeah yeah or a fucking Australian person do a leapa yeah we're all there because we got suckered in by fucking

lepa you guys saw the duellepa post too yeah it'd be awesome if we found out this was like AI like duelip has never been to this restaurant yeah i have a facebook we got Dupa Lipid. We got duped. So, you know, we're all there and like, they're bringing out the food. I'll give you an example. Ron, I think you'll appreciate this. There was a guy.

There was a sink. There was a sink as part of the sushi counter on which they were working that they were washing their dishes in. Yeah, I don't like that at all. Like, we're sitting, we were across from the sink. So he's like splashing shit around. Yeah, I wouldn't like that. And by the way, again, I don't have a problem with that except that in my experiences with Omicassee, that counter, you could perform surgeries on it.

They're almost literally doing that. They're performing surgeries on pieces of fish that have been sourced from like the tuna market or whatever. Some really sacred place, some process that got it there. And this was just like, yeah, you know, we got to fucking keep. with the orders, you know? Might as well have been a diner. Yeah. That's really what it was.

Where the guys with Uber Eats bags waiting? Pretty much. Pretty much. Exactly. I actually hate that when you go to a restaurant and you see the guys with the bags. Because they cut the line. They try and cut the line no matter what. You can be waiting in line and someone just reach a square bag across you.

It really takes away from the experience of going out. Of getting cottage sushi. That shit looks so disgusting. Yeah. I think dripping. I think another problem was so, you know,

they brought out the oyster and what as one of the dishes, right? Yeah. And the oyster was enormous. I mean, it's like that big. You know,

and they cut it in half. And so this is like your, we're really reaching here dish. Like this is like, okay, we're going native. Yeah. We're going native.

No, I mean, I think they do that. It's just like as a non, Japanese, not that experienced, you know, experimental eater. This is the one where we're going to have to like muscle it down. Yeah. Muscle it down, right? When how many pieces of sushi have you had at this point?

Nine or ten, right? So by this point, we know it's bad. And now the fucking monster arrives. This is. And when you are in a place that you've lost faith in, and they present the like living jiggly nightmare fuel. Yeah, that you have to kill. It's, it's 10 times worse.

Make sure your first bite's strong. Because you can, you can literally see like the pathogens that are going to give you diarrhea and death. Yeah. Moving around this thing. And you're like, I have to eat it out of respect. Were you still acting kind of like impressed to the guy that had been like, New York. Totally. I mean, we, I don't know. We kind of have to give a little lip service to those guys

because you have to be like, wow, like, that was, because they're asking, they're checking in. Yeah. So you have to lie. That's the problem with, with Omikaze, in my opinion, is that, like, they're bringing the, they're bringing the crazy shit way too late. Like, I don't want to already be full and then be like, all right, time to try the mega-sized oyster.

Yeah. Like, I'd rather start with that, know it sucks, and then move on to the good stuff. Um, maybe. I mean, again, the first thing they brought out was awful. I mean, this is like torture. It was bad. Yeah. That was really a bad meal.

And how many do they bring? Like 20? Yeah. Yeah. Did you have a lot of urchin while you're out there? Here's another example. Please. Here's another example.

You go to a nice omicasse. You expect that there's going to be like a good presentation or representation of like sake, right? Yeah. Like a list. Mm-hmm. We were like, can we see the sake? list they were like we only have one really okay yeah that's never good we're like what about beers and they're like we have one one type of beer and one type of sake this is you got duped you got dude so

what you learned dual leap has never been here we learned this after the fact there's a reservation system that is like their all service yelp slash reservations slash open table slash fucking trip advisor for restaurants in Japan. And it's called table something. And everyone tells you that this is how you're supposed to get reservations. Is there any chance you can kind of look that up, Tyler, like Tokyo Reservations, table, something. Anyway, this restaurant had 4.9.

It was like the highest review ever. Table log. Table log. Exactly. It was insanely high, highly reviewed on table log as were. the two restaurants we went to the next night and the night after. And what we came to learn is that if you see a review on table log higher than 4.0. Juice numbers?

They've cooked the books. Oh, so it's like an advertisement type of thing. No. Sponsored. And that it should be a real red flag. No. Yeah. So you spent your whole time in Japan eating the fucking advertisements?

Bro, I think it's even worse than that. I think there's like, I think there's like a deep state fucking click farm, you know, situation cooking them up. Definitely. Because, you know, I'm telling you, dude, like, my buddies were like the reason we vetoed and audibled to these restaurants was because their reviews were so much higher than the ones that like friends of ours had recommended we go to. but but you know we're like gotta listen to you're friends you're listening to table long I mean I didn't pick I didn't know I'm not I'm not blaming the show on that and and a Monday morning

quarterback I also can't be mad at my friends because I wasn't involved at all in the choice of restaurant but they would agree that with it's the highest rated one those were their words about they were the ones that put the Jewish part of it in as a reason why we failed. But so, okay, the next night we went to another Izikaya place. And Isakai just means like, I think, you know, assorted dishes. Like they just bring out a menu of things.

But it doesn't, it wasn't, there was one sushi course, but the rest of it was like different types of cooked meat and all this. And this one was in my favorite neighborhood, which was Ayoyama. Did you go there? I don't think I did. Oh, it was great. Iyoama is really cool. Just walk around the little streets, back streets.

It's awesome. And Ioyama, they, at this restaurant, it was like very authentic Japanese is Akaya. To the point where we walked in, it was downstairs, low ceilings, people sitting on the floor, you take your shoes off. They were tucking their legs under these like low tables. And then there was a counter and it was very lively. people were smoking Sigs and every single person in the restaurant was Japanese. So we walked in and we were like, this is going to be awesome.

Yeah. This is a really good sign. Totally different from the first night. They bring us to this like back table that is quarantined behind two like very thin doors to the point where we are completely cut off from the restaurant. Yeah, yeah. All that communal energy and vibe. We had gone, this was like a vibe choice. Yeah.

We are now, we can't see anybody else. They put you in a green go room? I don't know why. I think it was like the only, I don't know why. I mean, first of all, it was good because it was the only table that had chairs. And we're all pretty big dudes. So like we, you know, sitting on the floor with my legs tucked under me with no back support for like two and a half hours, that would have been hell. Yeah.

I was actually happy that we were. little bit away from the stretch your hip flexures before a meal like that you have to get in the pigeon pose before you fucking sit down for a full meal the one funny thing about this was that our waiter would come and he was wearing a bandana that said like fuck you yeah it's like all it's said in english yeah yeah in english there's just like fuck you a hundred times so we're like all right this is going to be funny and i think one of my buddies had read that like you can get your waiters, they'll drink with you.

Oh, yeah. And we were ordering sake and they were bringing them out in these ice cold bamboo bottles, like the, just like a big thick bamboo shoot that had been hollowed out and they would fill it with sake. That was awesome. Yeah, that sounds sick.

And he was just bringing them like round after round. And every time he brought one, we would be like, do you want? You want some? Yeah. And he'd be like, no, no, no. Okay.

And then we'd fill him up a cup. And it's sipping sake. Yeah. But he had to run back to keep working. So he would just chug it and then he'd put it down and he'd go, oh, mistake. And then run away. That's hilarious. So then after that, every time he came back, we would go, more mistake.

And he's like, no, no, no. All right, all right. Each time he put it down, he'd be like, oh, mistake. And run back. He must have done like 12 chugs. Damn. I mean, it was great. That's crazy.

It was hilarious. Out of respect. Is it like a respect thing or why do they have? I don't know. Part of the gig. If you get offered by some. I mean, it's probably makes his job a lot more fun.

Yeah, I think so. I think you're having fun. Until it's every night. Yeah, yeah. I just want to be a waiter. Yeah. But the first dish they brought out,

the first dish of like nine was this like house beef stew that had chunks of beef in it, right? I took my chopsticks I grabbed a piece of the beef I put it in my mouth and chewed it and it was 100% gristle I take that out of my mouth if something

if I have to chew something for more than 25 seconds I'm not trusting my esophagus and stomach to be able to break it down if my teeth can't like fucking get that out of my body you know what I mean like there's no way I'm fighting and I'll put it on the side

I was so of the mindset. Like we had come in with such positive energy because the previous evening's dinner had been such a failure. And this was another choice from the same guy who had chosen that one that I didn't want to like right off the bat be like, oh boy, you fucked us again.

Yeah. And it was just pure, pure fat. The whole, there was no meat. Yeah. Just fat. Was it Wagyu? No, not that. They did do a Wagyu later, which by the way, so and Roan, tell me if you experienced this.

I thought Wagyu would be like... The best of the best? I thought it was going to be something where it was like a special item on each menu as it is here. You know, very often they'll be like, and by the way, if you're really feeling like going crazy, we have our A5 Wagyu. It's like a hundred bucks an ounce, whatever the fuck. I felt like everywhere we went, Wagyu was almost the standard over there. And there's better shit than Wagyu. Wagyu. Yeah.

There's like, it's not even guaranteed the best. Like there's like fatier or more like succulent or like a cow that was only fed blue cheese olives its whole life or some shit like that. Like there's nicer options. There's there's degrees of Wagyu. There's Kobe, you know, and I was surprised. But, I mean, it was cool. Like, it was cool that Wagyu was so prevalent.

But I don't remember, I don't think we ever had like a real regular beef situation. Yeah, it was all that. It was all Wagyu. Tyler, can you look up what even is Wagyu? It's the, it's just very, like, fatty beef, right? Type of high-end meat from a specific cattle bread originating in Japan. So maybe all the cattle are there. All the Wagyu cattle are there.

Yeah, it might just be more common. Like significantly more common. Like what's something that we have that's like everywhere that is it like lays potato chips? Corn fed. Corn fed? Yeah. You could just get lays anywhere, but you have to go to a special store there to get some lays. I don't know. But so they had some later on in that meal?

Was that? Yeah, later on. I mean, you know, look, the other part of it is like I wasn't hungry starting on day two for the rest of the trip. Oh, it just translates to Japanese cow. Yeah. So all the beef there is wagg you as long as it's from their own cows. Interesting. Maybe that's right.

Interesting. What the fuck? Yeah. So you weren't hungry the whole time? I mean, we were just because we were just like eating. Eating is the tourism. It's all there is to do. That's like the cultural, you know, in fucking Paris you go to museums or whatever.

Like in Japan, in Tokyo, you eat. And you drink. And drink. Yeah. And, um, you know, we, we would like start our morning with breakfast at the hotel which was like a full Japanese breakfast. I mean I was doing like the they called it the gymnasium breakfast. It was like healthier.

I was trying to like egg whites. Give my stomach a little bit of a break. But it still came with like a plate of meat and a plate of an omelet. And so, you know, starting at 8 a.m. I'm full. Yeah. And I'm not like hungry. But then by like 10. we're at the sushi market.

Yeah. It is really like that. A tuna sampler. Yeah. And then at like 1 p.m. It's pizza. And then at like 4 p.m. We're like stopping for a fucking burger.

And then at like 7.30 we have dinner. Yeah. And you're just like, you just are, you have like 10% room in your stomach at the start of every meal. Yeah. And then you're just overeating the whole time. So, you know. I ate that bite of fat

and I was like yep, that's it. I'm not eating again tonight. Really? Pretty much. First bite of the meal you fucking tapped out. I was like a one and done. No way. Stuck to the sake.

The only, yeah, I was just drinking the whole time. Yeah. The only other, and this was the only night that we actually like had the energy to go out

because we all napped in the afternoon. But by the time, I had one bite of the Waggie when that came out. But other than that, like the food, I just, it was not, not for me. I mean, if you're going out too, you're not trying to fill up on a bunch of fatty meats. Exactly.

But the place was cool. I don't remember what it was called. I could figure that out. The vibe was cool. Yeah. The vibe was cool. The waiter was hilarious. Then we went to this cool bar that was like all expats, but none of whom were from America.

They were all from like, you know, Argentina and fucking. France and Australia. There were some Irish guys. So it was like a collection of people who were getting after it and were boisterous. I noticed that a lot of the like, it's quiet. Yeah. People are quiet in everywhere. In restaurants, in the streets like at night, you know.

Yeah. Whereas this was like one of those. It was like a bar that could have been in the East Village. Oh, that's cool. And it was fun. We had a good time there. And then we tried to go. we went to One Oak.

Which one's that? Well, One Oak is a famous nightclub that was in New York City. It was for 17 years. Interesting. And they must have been before my time. Yeah. They had one over there. And like my buddy knew some, you know, knew the guy from America who was like, whatever.

So we got in and we were there at one in the morning and there was nobody there. And I don't know if we were just there too early or what. Sometimes when you're away and you're in like a foreign country like that, it really just feels like you're just like you're missing. Like what are we doing wrong? Yeah, we got it wrong. Like everywhere we're going, it's empty or it's silent.

Like I remember in Iceland walking into restaurants and it was like when we walked in, it was like the whole restaurant came to like a screeching halt. And it was like everyone is just dead silent. Yeah. Like you almost feel weird for like talking. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

that's exactly right. This was just not. I mean, maybe, maybe it was like, you got to be there at 3 a.m. Did you, were you saying that Tokyo is like super late? Like they'd stay out like really, like it doesn't start until like really late. I don't know. I don't know. Ron, do you have any idea about that?

I think it's such a big city that there's probably stuff going on at all time. It's probably like New York where it's like if you want to have a crazy time at 9 you can or if you want to have a crazy time at 3 a.m. Yeah. That's probably available if you can find it. I know that like when One Oak was open in the meat packing district, it was a place that people like started the night. That got good at like 2.30. It was not like a midnight to 1 type of way.

So maybe we were just there too early, but like we stayed for half an hour and left. Was it, did it feel very Japanese or did it feel like westernized? That club was pretty westernized, but like very hype beastie. Yeah. You know? Yeah. What's your, what was like an experience where you're like, wow. this feels like so Japanese and foreign and cool. Like what was something that like struck you as being very like locally cultural?

That 400 degrees pizza thing was every single person in there was Japanese and, you know, they didn't speak much English and the pizza was made like quietly and everybody who was working at the restaurant was a woman. Oh. There was no, you know, like all the pizza makers, all, everyone was a woman. So for some reason, that struck me as being uniquely Japanese. That's cool. We went to. Pizza did look great. Yeah.

We went to, there was a cool. I wanted to check out some of the design shops, like some of the, you know, home decor and stuff. Oh, home decor. We get to the clothing. Yeah, I got to see the inside of the. Can I see the stitching of those pants just as like. Yeah, these are these. This is the only thing I'm wearing that is, uh, is Japanese that I, that I, that I, that I,

that I bought over there. But I have, I have, I bought other clothes, but I wore them all and had to, you know, some of them, some of them have already sent to dry cleaning and some are in the wash.

Yeah. I ran out of clothes, by the way. I was, I underpacked. Well, with how you didn't bring any. Yeah.

Did you have time to shop? Yeah. Which, that's what we did all fucking afternoon. Oh, got it. We would shop from like 1230 to like 5 p.m. every day.

And by the way, my buddies went way more nuclear than I did. Really? Yeah. My one friend there was like losing his fucking house. Damn. On pants. Pants?

He bought so many pairs of pants, dude. I was truly like, and every time he'd be like, what do you think of these ones? And I was like, don't, don't, don't those look exactly like the ones bought yesterday. He's like, I like them. I like them. I mean, were they all like big wide like chef pants with big pockets and shit? No, no. They weren't nuclear.

In fact, that was the one. one thing I really tried was like every time I'd be in a fitting room, I'd be like, do not look at these through the lens of, wow, these look really cool here in Tokyo. Yeah. Yeah. You have to ask yourself, will this be mocked mercilessly on the podcast if you wear it? So, you know, anyway. So he didn't really get anything that was no kimonos. Nothing too far out there. But, you know, we all were fans of the clothing before we went and had bought stuff made by these brands here in New York. And then seeing and doing the math on my phone of the conversion of the price tag to dollars, it was literally 50% of what I have paid.

Yeah, that's pretty nice. For these same things from these brands. So it was hard not to feel like we were getting a deal. Yeah. I mean, you are. Plus, you don't pay tax. You have their price tag And then they like deduct 10% from that

Because you present your passport And they're like yeah you You know you get you don't have to pay tax on this Because you're American because you're not from Japan You're taking it out of the country Damn So it's duty free That's pretty sick

Which by the way that that policy they're revising It's you know normally like when you go to Europe And you buy some shit You bring your receipt to the airport And then like weeks later you get some refund in the mail Or to your credit card or whatever Yeah There it's done

in the shop. That's awesome. What's awesome for us, but they get fucked. Because people just lie. Oh, yeah. And they're like, and then they like resell stuff in country. Oh shit. They get it

tax free and then they like sell it and get whatever. You know what I mean? Yeah, that makes sense. Or they don't know. They explained it somehow. Like someone explained to me how. Japanese dude being like, I'm not from here. I'm from Wisconsin. So anyway, I did it. I did, you know, I ran out of clothes and like, whatever.

My stuff was so gross by the end that I actually legitimately considered just leaving like a whole bunch of dirty laundry in the country. You were going to offload some American clothes? Yeah. Because I worked out and stuff. Sometimes you got it. And it was just like, I was, by the last day, it was like, I was like, I, Could have done laundry through the hotel, but what is a noble? Yeah.

Would have been so expensive to do the laundry. So I just didn't. And I totally, totally underestimated, or overestimated how much space I had in my bag. Oh, yeah. To bring things home. Such that when I was packing, I was, I was like halfway through packing. And I'm like, I am fucked. and I ended up having to bring

all I had was like a paper shopping bag with ribbons as handles and I filled that with dirty laundry and then like the pottery and ceramics and glassware at the top which I carried on through Japanese customs security all through the airport

then into my seat all the way to Minneapolis off the plane in Minneapolis through customs and immigration, then like rechecking my bag, then into the Delta lounge in Minneapolis, then home to LaGuardia. Like,

I'm talking a paper bag that weighed 30 pounds that I had to put a hand under because it was going to break through the bottom and it was all my glassware and ceramics. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. That's like,

unfortunately, like a slutty girl behavior. Yeah, it was really. Like walking on with like a target bag. I've seen you pull that move. I've done that before. It was really. Sometimes you got no choice. A target bag in here. Using a fucking, I've had to use like door dash bags that I got.

It's a plastic bag with a sweatshirt in it. Yeah. That's the worst. It's really ratchet behavior. But, I mean, I was just praying through turbulence that like this bag that was in the overhead. I wasn't going to open up my beautiful ceramic plates and how it would suck. Tell us about the ceramics. Landing in LaGuardia, it's dust.

You open up the overhead. it's just pouring out like sand. Were they nice? So that was one thing I got really right. Was that I had good recommendations for like these home design and like craft stores. And I really got that right. There was there was this cool place called the Conran shop that had a couple locations. I went to the one in Dikin,

which was the other neighborhood I really liked. Yeah. And it's like half museum, half shop. And the shop was really cool. And the one thing that really caught my eye was this metal sort of stand inside of which fit four different colored beautiful glass coffee cups. And you stack them. So I got one that was green, blue, amber, and clear.

Love that. And I was like, this is the coolest. most Japanese thing. I love this. It's going to be hell to bring it home. Yeah. But I'm going to do it. I'm going to suck it up.

I'm never going to find this again. No. And this is going to go perfectly with my coffee set up and it's going to look so fucking organized. It's so Japanese. Only the Japanese could think of this. I have a problem where after I buy something. You look it up?

I look it up. That's a bad idea. You should never do that. To be like, did I get a good deal? Yeah. No, you never got a good deal. This morning I made my coffee and I poured a beautiful fucking almond milk latte into one of my beautiful stacked cups. I was so pleased with the whole process.

And as I'm sitting there, explode? No. That would have been great. Even worse. As I'm sitting there drinking my coffee, I look at the bottom of the thing and I see the brand. And I think it was called Arlo. And I was like, well, that doesn't, that doesn't sound very Japanese.

So I googled this is all made in fucking Denmark. Denmark. No. Now, it could be way worse. Yeah. The Danes are great. Yeah, we like Denmark.

They're making quality. The Danes are pretty good. It wasn't Vietnam. No, you know what I mean? India would have been a. Yeah, Bangladesh.

Like, oh my God. But it certainly wasn't Japanese. No, no. And, you know, you can buy it from a Danish store.

I'm pretty sure you can get it on. Etsy and I had to carry this stuff almost like on my head. All the like balancing it delicately through fucking layovers and all this stuff. And then you just see it at the airport as you're walking by for sale. What the fuck? It's a hugs and news. Just a classic total. In Minnesota.

Like, oh. Didn't ask like, by the way, is this Japanese? And part of the reason that this is funny is that early on, um, you know, I, I, I found out that there are certain things made by brands that we all know that you can only buy in Tokyo. Like they issue limited edition, Tokyo exclusive. Yeah, that's pretty cool. And my buddy and I started making jokes where like we would constantly ask, like, is that a Tokyo exclusive? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A banana. Yeah. You know, or whatever. But it did, you know me. I'm a sucker for scarcity. Yeah, of course. So, like, exclusivity. Yeah.

Anytime like I found something that was a Tokyo exclusive, I was just like, well, I have to. Yeah. Yeah. And in fact, I think this is a great moment for present Monday. Wow. Wow. Yes. Was hoping.

We were hoping for present. Yeah, we got a pretty good present Monday. Wow. This is insane. Not a Tokyo exclusive. without any fanfare straight from two. Oh, man.

We'll do hairball first. We'll do hairball first. Hairball. Oh, my God. My heart is pounding. All right, go ahead. Let's see.

We'll do Harry first. Oh, wow. This is great. So, Harry from Tokyo. No, this is the Japan edition of LLB. This isn't. I'm not kidding you. I'm not kidding you.

This is the like Japan line. of LLB. Freeport, Maine. Yeah, I mean, I know this sounds crazy, and I'm not making a joke here.

Like, literally, I went to the L-L-O-Bin store, and they have a rack that's like Japan edition. Really? Yeah, so you can, now, they did do- Get this in Freeport, Maine?

No. They did do a pop-up in New York City for like a week of Japan- Edition L-L-L-Bin, and it sold out immediately, and I didn't get to it. Damn. That's sick. I thought this was really,

Like a nice shirt. Show that. Show that shirt. Oh, that's heavy too. Yeah. That's how you can tell. Cool ass fly fishing.

And there's a fucking full portrait on the front. Yeah. Oh, that's the back. That's the back. I thought this was pretty cool. Now, this is a super nice shirt.

God damn. It's only $7,000 too. I couldn't. Bro, I could not decide. I wanted to get you. The shirt was what caught my eye for you. Like I was like,

he's going to love that. And but then I was like, well, first of all, I was like, that's not enough because what I, You must have got Rohn. What I got Rohn.

What I got Rone was. Oh, no. Oh, wow. Le Labo, Gaiy. What is this? This is the Tokyo specific edition of their cologne. No way. Yeah.

What are you, you're not wearing it right now. I'm wearing a different one. Because you came in smelling fucking immaculate. Have you never opened up a package before? Do you have this by the way? I was curious if you might have this. I'm trying to do a,

this is your first time opening something? I just want to do it delicately, brother. You're supposed to just cut the... You can fuck the box up. That's fine. I want to do it. Just cut along this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what, yeah. I mean, I would need a knife for that. No, you wouldn't. Let me do it. As are over. Okay. This pack is genius. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Wow, it seems so easy. You're straining with all your might. There we go. That was pretty good. Wow. Yeah. Thank you. Dude, by the way, they actually

they like made it there in like a lab. It took them 45 minutes. Wow. Really? Yeah, I was kind of annoyed. I was like they were like it's going to take us 45 minutes to make this which was cool but I was like Guy act 10. Yeah, guy act 10. Oh my God. Give that a little spray. Can I give this a live

spritz? Yeah. So the cool thing about this is that I also bought myself so I thought it was awesome. Oh my God. That smells like Pure wealth. You can give yourself a little spray. No, no, no, but very refrable. Oh my God, it has your name on the bottle. Yeah. What? Yeah. Yeah. Personalized. Yeah. What the fuck? That's for Roan. Wow. Oh, that's so nice. Look at this kayak pen. So now that you have that, you can go to La Labo's in America and like your grandfathered in and they'll make it for you here as a refill for that. bottle. The Tokyo, the Tokyo exclusive? Yeah. They can make it on the spot. They only they make it in three

sizes. They make it in the like it love it got to have it 50. Yeah, 15 mil. This is the 50. Then there's the 100. And the 50 and the 100 mil you can get refills like if you have a bottle that you bought, you know, in Japan. That's nice. Like just salad. Yeah. We advise you keep your creation away from light and heat when not in use. Yeah, don't microwave it. Don't even have it by heat. You had to put the cap back on too. Where did I put the cat?

No respect. Where did I put the cap? Right there. Jesus, Jesus. I love how Harry's being very protective of it. Yeah, he's very respectful of this beautiful gift. So I knew, I thought, this is so nice. I thought this would be since we've talked about clone.

I'm obsessed with it now and, uh, well, I actually got into clone when you were gone. Oh, good. I have way too many, I bought. I had extra yen, so I just went to the duty-free fucking Dior. Dior-Ovaj. Sure, why not? Load it up. Why not? But Harry, I thought, so the t-shirt caught my eye. And then I was like, it's not enough.

Rones was way more than if I just gave you a t-shirt and gave him that, it wouldn't be fair. And so I felt like a parent where I was like, I have to spend equal, roughly equal amount of money on my two sons. Yeah. Now the gauntlet has been thrown. Because I'm going to, I'm going to, uh, London on Thursday. And now I feel like I have to go tip or tap. Now I'm going to look up how much the fucking lay Labo costs.

A lot of yen. And try and hit the yen. You got to buy it with yen though. No, I have to buy it with pounds and pence. That's such a nice gift. Holy shit. I'm genuinely so excited. I have gifts for all the boys too.

I just, I need 10 days. Whoa. You just need to give me 10 days and I will have gifts for you. Are you trafficking humans? It's going to take 10 days. I'll have gifts for you in 10 days. Yeah. They'll arrive.

What the fuck? Yeah. What is it? Or it's better to be... I'll surprise them. I got to get the visas handled and all that. It's brides. Yeah.

Wow. That's so nice. Thank you so much. Yeah, my pleasure, guys. That's such a nice gift and such a thoughtful cherry on top of me. Yeah. So rate it out of 10. Rate your trip out of 10.

Because it seems like, wow, you are. are exhausted and had some bad eating experiences. Also, I haven't heard about the flight. Yeah, I mean, I know I've been talking the whole time. It's just as what it is.

That was always going to happen. The, the, um, the, I'm here for it. I was prepared for, I actually had this factored in as a,

yeah, as a listening day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those. Yeah.

Nothing happened to me. We'll talk ball for like 10 minutes after. Yeah. Rable's a great guy. I'm back in on him and do anything wrong what would probably happen was his wife wasn't giving him the attention

that he needed. I'm blaming the wrong person here. Let's get Rucini on the field. Yeah. Yeah, dude. So, no, I say the meals like the dinners, oh, and then the last night

that I skipped because I was like, we had this really cool sake tasting thing at a place called 12 that my buddy hooked us up with which was awesome

that was a real highlight that was at 930 and I was so dead on that last day that I was and I was sick that I was like guys if I come to dinner I'm not gonna make that

yeah so it's one or the other and they were like no problem skip dinner yeah they went they went to a Chinese restaurant oh another place that was highly rated on table log

they told me It was a two and a half hour episode of Fear Factor. Was the food just like inedible? Food was like truly like Chinese wet market straight to play. The real Chinese food? Right. Pangolin. Yeah.

Like literally like jelly. Yeah. Fucking rat tail in it. I mean, I'm making that up. They were like. they were like, we couldn't eat it. It was inedible. They like, also, there was such a language barrier apparently between them.

The whole, I was on the reservation. They tried to explain early on to the people like, he's not coming. We're just two. Yeah. And the person would be like, two, two. And then they brought out every plate for me. Oh, really. And by the way, they didn't bring out their first dish.

They sat for an hour. Oh, because the restaurant kept waiting for me. Oh, my God. And then finally, and like every time they'd send the plate that was for me back. It's like, no, we don't need a third plate of C an enemy. Oh, God. Chinese people pretending to be Japanese. I don't know.

Sickening. They said it was, they said it was like truly the worst, like just horrible experience. That's terrible. So I was happy to have missed that for sure. but yeah while the dinners to me weren't like we had a great time our friendship vibes were super high

and then the lunches were like unbelievable yeah and that that that market is super like the sort of market area in Ginza where they do that just the Toro like sampler

was one of the best things I've had and there were a lot that was like weird it was weird like can you just walk up in like a you get a quick line and then they just give you like the the lean the medium fatty and the fatty and it's three pieces of each on rice and it's unbelievable that sounds really good and like the whole trip

I probably got recognized seven times six of those times were in the line at that damn so it was a lot of like people were coming up to you in Japan that was probably well that was all tourists Japan says that's crazy his name rings bells over there and it was all people being like I can't wait to hear about this on the pod like damn We're all listeners. It's cool. Internationally. Fuck, bro.

Yeah. Price just went up. That's big. I didn't know that. I didn't know we were doing numbers in Tokyo. I didn't buy a knife. No. I wanted to.

Just kind of like kept missing the store. The same thing happened to me that happened to you with the Danish cut or the cups from Denmark. I got a knife and it was like Swedish. Oh, really? Yeah. You got a Swedish. Yeah. Army knife?

Yeah. I got this red Swiss Army knife. I was like, wow, this does a lot. Could they have a corkscrew?

Their innovation is second to none. Have you guys, have you guys, like, I looked at the Swiss Army Knife website the other day.

They got a lot of gear. Yeah, they do. They got, they still are selling those ones that are like 200 tools. It's like this thick. Can you pull the Swiss Army knife?

It's more just like a flat. Do they get really thick? They make, well, they make, big knives too but yeah they make the oh god yeah it looks like someone dumped out a kitchen sink kind of want

one yeah it's kind of cool maybe we could get you one in england oh when I was a kid I cut my hand so bad with a Swiss army knife dude my we got one too and my sister cut her hand and I immediately got my Swiss army knife taken away yeah same with my fucking fencing swords she got injured

dumb bitch your apais my apis I fucking smoked her with the knife and the apee Do you guys remember the Swiss Army knife from Get Smart? I don't. You don't? Steve Carell?

I like that movie. Remember he had the Swiss Army knife that had like a blow torch on it? This one is sawing a piece. That one was sawing a branch of wood. You're in real trouble if you're sawing wood with a Swiss Army knife. That's how you know you're fucked. Do you ever have to use the saw? No, but Harry asked you about the flight, brother.

Yeah, so we flew Japan Air on the way over. and my buddy was super generous and got me that flight business class it was sick it was really good yeah the picture you showed of yourself starfished onto a bed with a mirror on the ceiling was fucking incredible you know there's just like a couple things that are different where first of all you know you recline the bed or whatever your feet don't touch Love that. Your feet don't touch the front. Love that.

There's also, I've noticed there's not really anywhere to put the shoes either on a lot of those lights. They had a cubby for your shoes. They had a coat hanger with a sliding door where you could hang your own coat inside your thing. That's sick. They had, you know, the food menu. It was like you could either do the Japanese menu or the American. I chose the American, which was a mistake. Really?

They brought out all the Japanese food first. And by the time people were finishing their desserts, I was getting like my first thing. I hate that. It was almost like they did it with disdain. Probably. All of the flight attendants, the whole crew, everybody was Japanese. Very nice. I'm trying to think what else.

Gatias? Do you think that there were Gatia adjacent? No. Gaysia energy? Gay jason? No. Did you ever, like, are Gaysias, prostitutes, or definitely? not, right? I don't think they are. I don't know.

But they're like just companion women? They're like professional flirters. Yeah. Escorts. I guess. No. Escorts fuck. You can be an escort. They're host. They're called host. I think it's hosts. They're like, they sit down with you. They like shoot the shit.

They flirt. They like they make you feel liked. Yeah. But maybe it's more than that. Maybe they'll like. Yeah. Yeah. Like we went to. I think I've told the story a while ago, but we went to, like, we were in L.A. filming something. And me, Tommy and another dude went to a strip, like a strip club, but it wasn't a strip club in L.A. And we went in and it was like, they were like, this is actually a companionship bar. Yeah.

It's like you pay the girls to talk. That's what they do in Japan. We didn't. We left, by the way. I want to make that clear. I don't want to hear them speak. We didn't. part take.

But wasn't that like the, you're like, yeah, you're paying for a conversation. And then the janitor came outside and he was like, yes. I mean, realistically, if you're going to go out on the date, you're going to have to pay, you're going to have to pay 200 for dinner anyway. Get back, get your asses, back in there. And he makes a good point. Yeah. It was a jarring experience.

Well, that is what they do in Japan. Yeah. Because like the men are so lonely. Yeah. Nobody. Yeah. In sales. there's a little bit of an insult i don't know maybe i don't think that's the issue though

there's just like people don't the fear of rejection is apparently so high that nobody really nobody goes up and is like hey i think you're pretty i want to go out on a day but there's like a famous japanese viral video where they asked all these women maybe it's from the early 2000s or late 90s or something and they asked all these women like would you be like insulted like if your husband cheated on you and they're like no if it was like a physical like thing just like, no, it wouldn't bother me at all. It was like they had a very like detached feeling about like the sexuality of it. It was almost like, yeah, I just would be happy that he's fucking.

Like I just don't want him to be an insale. Interesting. And their population rate is plummeting. Yeah. They're really. I say that. Roan, Tokyo was the biggest city I've ever been to. It just keeps going.

It's beyond the belief how big it is. Yeah. fucking month there. Yeah. Different neighborhoods the whole thing. It's like if you took Brooklyn, Queens, fucking Jersey City,

all the different boroughs, you know, the Bronx, and didn't separate them with rivers or like denoted. It was just one big. It was just like, all right,

another 20 minute Uber and we'll be in this neighborhood. Another 20 minute Uber will be here. Were you Ubering a lot? The whole time, we did take the subway. The Uber's, every time I got, first of all, the Ubers, you made the point, you were like, everyone there is going to be the most professional person you've ever seen. They take their job so seriously. Where I noticed that the most was the Uber drivers. Every single Uber driver we had was wearing a black suit with a black tie and white gloves.

Damn. They looked like they were delivering a Steinway piano. Yeah. It was unbelievable how formal they were. They all had two hands on the wheel. They were driving perfectly. The air quality, the, you know, AC was perfect.

Also, all the Uber's, 90% of the Uber's that we took were these like cars where they're a bit like in the shape of a London taxi, except in the back, the two seats in the first row, would be like gaming chairs, like, or like massage, lazy boys.

You could recline them with a button. There was like, you know, they were so comfortable. I got better, they got better seats out there. They had really nice seats.

And this is like what the basic baseline Uber was. So the Uber's were really nice. But whenever we would get in them, that was sort of where like we would get so tired. Oh, yeah. Was because all of a sudden like,

the energy and fresh air would go away and we'd be in a car for 25 minutes and it would just sap all of the energy out of the day. Yeah. I mean, when you're, I feel like once you sit down or when you like go back to your hotel room, that's when you realize like how tired you are. Yeah. Did you guys, I completely forget what I was going to say. I was going to ask a question about our hotel was really sick. Our hotel was unbelievable. Our hotel was unbelievable. I mean, it truly. Honestly, the thing that I noticed the most from the hotel was the comforter on the bed looked just incredible. Did I send you a video of my room?

No. Oh, I have one. Still photo. Just a still photo of the view. Okay. Yeah. I mean, my... And I think you replied,

and I think the text was like, I feel fucking awful or something like that. And it was the sickest hotel of you ever. There was like something out of like a James Bond movie. Yeah, the panorama of a screensaver. The hotel was unbelievable. The hotel was sick. I stayed at the Bulgari.

It was fucking crazy. The view was insane. How was the hotel bar? Was it nice? Hotel bar was awesome. What was so much? I have become such a sucker for hotel bars. In New York, that's where I want to go out for a drink.

Hotel bar. I'm not going to a sports bar. I'm not going to go to a nice hotel bar because it's quiet. It is very quiet. It's quiet. A good hotel bar is very nice. Getting back to bars still open. Unbelievable.

Like all the night just started. That was always like my favorite part. of being on the road. Yeah. Yeah. Was that like I'd eat my meals at the hotel and then after the shows, go back to my hotel and have a nightcap with move before he went off and found some hooker. Yeah.

No, that is very fun. That's some gayosha. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't actually find a hooker, but he was. I've told that story. So, um. So what were you drinking at the hotel bar?

I'm thinking like a passion fruit like Yuzu vodka drink or something. Yeah. They had, they had a really good gin drink with like. cucumber and, you know, lemon. All righty guys, let's talk about Butcher Box. Healthy eating gets a lot simpler when you've already got quality ingredients ready to go. Instead of overthinking dinner, I can focus on making something I actually enjoy eating. Butcher Box helps make the healthy choice, the easy choice,

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is the problem. You let them have that. You have a tailgate to manage. Have your friends send that money and you can spend that money. Spend your balance instantly with the Venmo debit card with no monthly fee or minimum balance. Learn more at Venmo.com slash card. VEMO balance account required to use a balance and get the card, effect of November 1st, 2026. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank, N.A. I do like cucumber in some beverages. That's girlish of you. You've been spending time at the Sowing High Council, I could tell.

You can't say that knowing I can't defend myself. Exactly. Have you debt to rights? I have the photographic evidence of you at the High Council. But there are some good... drinking a cucumber, drinking a hollowed-out cucumber. Because cucumber can, like, have you ever had water with cucumbers? Hate it.

Quite refreshing. Yeah, I don't love that. Too vegetal for me. I like it. Yeah. It's like having water seasoned with, like, broccoli. I find cucumbers to be, like, the least gross vegetable. Well, they have the least taste.

Exactly. I find the taste repulsive. I don't like cucumber in anything. I don't like cucumber salads. That's my one childish palette thing. Oh, I love a cucumber. or salad. Anything else? Like, I would eat the fucking massive

clam before I'd have a cute. No, you wouldn't. I swear to God I wouldn't. I swear to God I would. I'm imagining that oyster, just like the size of a tennis ball. Yeah. It was... Like, it just scuttles to the right on your plate a little bit and sits back down. Like, oysters are already kind of gross, but they're

great. Yeah. But like, I can't imagine them being bigger. This one wasn't briny. It wasn't like, it was just... Just life. Well, it just tastes. It's like... It's like you're taking a bite out of the world. It just tasted like mush.

Oh. Sort of like wet, metallic. Because even like you ever get like an oyster that's a little too big? Yeah. Like that's what I'm thinking of, but I'm just imagining it bigger than that.

I mean, they cut it in half. Yeah, that is... You ate it with a fork and a knife. Like, I'm gonna think about that tonight. Yeah. God. Did, like, did you have any,

any tables? Or did you go into any restaurants where it was like, oh, this is the smallest space I've ever been in. I can touch each one of the walls from where I'm standing. Yeah, that, that, that, uh, uh, the, is akaya place. Well, no, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, ramen place was, was, was, tiny. And then we went into some other places, um, I mean, we, we, we just had, like, so many

small meals. There was a, a lot of, like, fast, casual places are fucking awesome. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Where, like, you go in and you put in your order on a screen before you, before you sit down. Oh, yeah. And then you sit down. Like, we went to this burger place where they put the burger on rice.

Oh. They put it on rice and they have these different sauces. And then, like, they have a sauce that they put over a little flame for you. That was awesome. That sounds incredible. It was really, really good. I think a burger place is where I found out that there was like, oh, Wagu's not even close to the best. They had a Wagyu burger.

We were having Wagyu burgers there. But we had four, like, three different patties. I mean, this is the reason I was never hungry, too. Yeah, that's a lot of food. You go three p.m. burger. 4 p.m. And they bring out...

Three burgers? That's a whole day of eating. We each had three. Three meals. Over rice? Like, rice is going to fill you the fuck up so much. Exactly. I love a good meat and rice, though.

That's a staple. A lot of beers? A good amount of beers. Any good cocktails? You know, we went to... I thought there would be... I thought the cocktails, maybe we just didn't go to the right place.

We went to this one place called SG Club, which was like a cocktail bar that gets a lot of great reviews. You're getting fleece by these reviews. No, but like people in the know friends of mine had been like go. Yeah. It was good. Maybe I didn't order the right cocktails. Also, everyone in there was a dude. I don't know.

And it was super crowded. Dude, nothing is spaced for people who are six foot three. No, no. I mean, why would it be? Yeah, they don't have anyone. The chairs and the boot. Like you literally are, you're just sitting like this the whole fucking time. The one weird thing I found was that in all the clothing shops we went to,

everyone was like, dude, you're never going to find anything in your size. I only found things in my size. Because it was the only thing in stock. Correct. Yeah. Everything else was sold out. Yeah. But like they were like, oh, you're, you have.

You're the only size we have of that. We have a size six left. We have everything. Yeah. So that was kind of cool. I was happy about that. I would say that the brand of clothes that I, with the store that we did the most damage in,

was this company called oppresace, a dot, P-R-E-S-S-E. How does that sound familiar? A press. I mean, you're thinking of probably J-Press? No. No, I'm not. Anyway, okay, well, I tried.

I'm thinking of Opress. Okay. Do they have a location in New York? Uh-uh. Hmm But they I mean they sell You can find their clothes here

It's just double the price Yeah yeah So knowing that It's too expensive to buy here But there I bought any Uniclo Yeah I went into the Oh really?

Was it massive? It's overwhelming Yeah It's five floors Love that And like it's It's as if they're like Doing a fire sale

Yeah I mean the clothes are so packed There's so many It's like they have like The clothes like on the floor Yeah Exactly. Just like shirts everywhere. It was bargain bin, but like, I mean, it was packed.

I heard about this, I saw a video of this clothing store in Japan and it was a rock climbing store. And I think that they were tired of, how do you say that, Arcterics? Yeah. They were tired of like people using Arcterics or like North Face as like a fashion brand. They only wanted it for climbers only. So they made the first floor into like a boulder. Oh, really? So you have to climb to the second floor.

And then you can get the legitimate hiking gear. Oh, that's cool. That's awesome. Got to earn it. But you have to earn it. And I just, I wish I'd told you about it because I know that you would have taken on that great boulder of Japan. The thing that, like, there were just some things that kind of like slipped away from me that I was

wanting to do and, and check out. One of which was that, well, I went to the tailor-made store. Oh. And that's pretty cool. Taylor Made is partnered with Foreplay. So like whenever I go with them, you know, we wear Taylor Made stuff and we play Taylor Made clubs. And I love Taylor Made genuine. Yeah, who doesn't.

Like I was playing their clubs before. Yeah. I started shooting with them and would pay so much money for them. So I love Taylor Made. And they have a big store in Tokyo. And I really wanted to find like some cool Japan exclusive. Taylorman stuff. Like maybe something that said tailor made in Japanese writing.

They didn't have that, unfortunately, but they did have a collaboration with this really cool Japanese brand called United Arrows. And all that stuff was fucking awesome. And I tried on a pair of pants. But it was like the day that I was leaving and I had already spent so much money. I had no room left in my bags. And I just was like, I literally can't allow myself. to get any more of this.

And I regret that because... You're still thinking about it. That stuff was awesome. Whenever you think about something for more than a day, so I almost feel like you got to make that purchase or... I mean, I know it's too late now, but that's true regret. And you really can't find it online, unlike those cups,

which you can find on Etsy for like 50 bucks. Yeah, yeah. If you didn't get those cups, you could have got the tailor-made stuff. Exactly. That's so much more room. And you wouldn't have had to be so careful in Minneapolis. Yeah. I mean, I bought, so then I bought like two really...

cool ceramic plates that were, I mean, I was just terrified bringing these things home. Yeah, I mean, ceramic that shit could break at any second. And it's like if it breaks, you're done, throw it away. Yeah, yeah. Then also, by Rado, which makes really nice cologne, also did a Japan exclusive called Suboro that I bought. I bought some Giac 10 and then a bunch of clothes. That's it.

That's everything. Oh, and then a bunch of wood stuff. I bought like a wood tray. This place called Coma Shop that I've been following on Instagram for a while. Interesting. A rolling tray? No, it's like a...

Tea tray? You would bring... You would bring... What I want to do because I like making cocktails for people is, you know, have people over make the cocktails and bring them out on a tray

on this wood tray. Love that. It's got velvet on the platter and then it's wood all the way around with wood handles. It's cool. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

Definitely got a roll on that. I feel like... Is that you're going to have that upstairs? You're going to have to get upstate To get a cocktail on that You got any of that Japanese coach out there? No They were to cut his hand off

I didn't see that anywhere I didn't that was not there was no Weed culture no weed Like paraphernalia nothing Interesting They did have a cool vape store And I thought about Going in there to like buy

You guys Cool vapes But I don't know what you like and I figured that was way too specific and highly likely that I would get that wrong. Zero tolerance on recreational cannabis. Wow. Prison sentences of up to seven years.

Holy shit. Yeah, I was done after four days. So staying for seven years would have been way too long. Bro, Trump would have got your ass out. I wonder. Trump would have gone to war for you. Definitely. He would have.

That would have been awesome. D.T. That would have helped with the pot a lot. If you were like our Brittany Griner. Yeah. Yeah, doing Zoom. Francis brought five milligram edibles to Japan, and now he's in prison for a decade.

It would have made us controversial, but it would have been good for the... Yeah, there would have been a lot of people, that would have been like, well, you've got to follow the rules. Yeah, you should have known. Yeah. We're going to free Francis.

We're going to trade Francis for Victor Boot. What about the Marines? The guy only scored seven goals in college. By the way, I tried to get my, like some Xanax filled from my psychiatrist before I went. Yeah, that's not easy. Couldn't get it. Didn't get it done in time. So they asking you a lot of questions?

No. No. No, she just didn't even respond. Oh. But like, can I get some drugs for my fun weekend? I was just like for the flight, you know. Yeah. I've done it before.

Yeah. Easy. Should talk to your boy. Well, could have got you right. Right. I don't have any Xanax. We've got some Klonis though. Of course.

Your K fins out to ass. A lot of abundance of them. Yeah. So my point is I went over without any kind of sleep aid. But miraculously, as I'm on my plane, I'm fishing in this little side pocket looking for a charger. And what do I feel? But the vial of dramene.

Oh. From Fish Week in Florida. Oh. And that wasn't non-drowse either It was drowsy Yeah, that was drowsy So I took that on the plane And that's that knocked me the fuck out

I took it there and on the way back On the flight back I slept eight of the 11 hours Well that's probably why you were fucked for four days It was because you were like Living off the drowsy drama mean Yeah, I feel like that shit like makes you drowsy the next day Yeah, you're like stumbling through it You don't know if you're dreaming or not

Yeah, I was fine the first night I just couldn't No matter when we went to bed I couldn't I couldn't sleep past 6 a.m. And nothing fucking opens until even the coffee shops don't open until like eight or nine or something. Nine.

Damn. Lazy ass. It's kind of weird. Lazy ass Japanese folk. Yeah, they start late. Me? I'm two cups in by eight. Easy.

Do that run? Tokyo? I can't believe it. I'm so excited. This is genuinely smells like a, it smells like an expensive hotel room. Yeah. It smells quite refreshing, like a cucumber drink almost.

Don't even put that on this. Don't even put that psychological olfactory. I was definitely getting a hint of cucumber. There's no kuk in this. The kuk makes me puke. I can't fuck with the kuk. I'm not a kuk man at all. There was like a week before they banned all the flavored jewel pods where they had

cucumber jewel pods and they were so good. It was like the best and then it was just everything was gone. That sounds terrible. That sounds awful. It was really good. There's no way. Really good. Such refreshing jewel.

It is. It was very quite refreshing. Yeah, I probably hit the back of the throat like a nice mint. Oh, so good. Take me back. What do you guys want in England?

What can I, like, obviously, you're on a fragrance. I actually need a list of every fragrance you have just in case I get a fragrance. Oh. I'd be sick if I got you a dupe.

Yeah. I do have something, but I will send you the money for it. No, no. What is it? Herod's has a, an exclusive cologne

I love that where is it Coventry Gardens yeah herds is that have you been to Herod's no yeah no I haven't Herod is the coolest store ever it's like a massive Macy's but it's even better yeah they got like they sell like fireplaces yeah they got everything

How's your ass know how's your uncultured ass know Does I've been to London? I think I went to I went to Herod's and they had like a NASCAR jacket or something or I know it was a NASA jacket and I was like I was like begging my mom to let me get the NASA jacket

it was like $5,000 she was like no shot I think I know that company that did that NASA line is that sick Heron Preston I think is the name of that company 15 years ago

can you look up Heron Preston NASA line jacket hairage perfume Heron Preston NASA that NASA stuff they did was super cool yeah like this stuff right Harry that's what it was wasn't it

yeah I think so looks like it I'm trying to tell me I didn't know and I knew exactly right it's not it no this stuff was awesome no because the jacket was blue they make it they make it blue what does NASA stand for North American Space Agency

or some other shit yeah I've gotten this wrong before so I'm not going to weigh in I have no clue National Aeronautics and Space Administration. So it's American. Basically my question is, so that's an American agency that we're selling in an England store. Like if we had a MI6 jacket at fucking Nordstrom's.

Dude, by the way, in Herod's, the thing I remember that was so cool is that they have this like spy section. Oh, yeah. Do you remember that? I do. And like they literally sell gadgets that are like, if you press this button on this fake radio, all the electrical devices in the room will turn off. That's called a pinch. Yeah.

Isn't that what a ocean's 11? Yeah, literally. We could do a pinch. Oh, if you bought me one of those, I would be really happy. If I saw if I bought a pinch. Yeah, that would be sick to have. Yeah, but I like bump into it on the airplane. If I ever like do like a podcast and it's not going well, just kill.

Yeah, right. Right. That's basically the men in black. Yeah. Yeah. They have really stuff where I'm like, is this legal that you? It's a great gadget store. The gadgets are crazy.

They got to go check that out. But it's going to take you a long time to get through them all. They're like, I don't remember it being that big. Oh, I remember it being massive. Oh. I remember it felt like walking around like a museum. Send me your favorite gadget you want from her. It's.

Oh, I have to. I feel like they had like an umbrella where the fucking handle is a sword. Yeah. Like there's a lot of shit like that. Yeah. I think the Herod's exclusive fragrance might be by X. Nihilo. So anyway, I don't. I'm going to need this written down.

I'm going to read, need this written long hands. I'm going to send you a couple things that I need while they're out there. The sword in the stone. The sword umbrella for sure. The binoculars that see through women's clothing. The shoes with the mirrors on the top of them. There's an Aston Martin where you press the button of the gear shift and it turns into a missile launcher. I'm going to need you to pick that up for me.

It is going to be nice. All the guy waiting there for you with all my items selected. Mr. Farron. I think I had so much built up in my mind about Japan. you know, it's kind of been this obsession of mine. I'm fundamentally aware that I did not see much of the country and I did not go for very long. And I wasn't, you know, really doing that much cultural stuff. I tried to take a tour of the Imperial Gardens, but it was like two hours.

They only do guided tours. You cannot walk around that park unless you are part of a guided tour. We're like, oh, we don't have time. Yeah, I'm not trying to do a two hour tour. So I think I probably need to go back, but right now I can't even think about ever traveling again. Yeah, I mean, those flights are pretty brutal. Dude, I try going somewhere that's not 24 hours away. Yeah.

Yeah, but you get the 24 hours back on the flight back. That's true. That is true. Yeah, I'm going to spend your Sunday. That was kind of cool. Like I landed in Minneapolis in time to watch like the second half of the Giants game. Oh, that is nice. And it was like just watching that on my phone and Delta Lounge while I had.

a two hour later. It was great. They watched the Delta Lounge? Yeah, the Giants one. You went to the Delta Lounge? They won a great game. I literally didn't watch a second of the Giants game. I don't know how the Giants are three and one. Good team. Yeah, but they've lost like...

I mean, their defense is pretty insane. Okay, they lost probably their best, one of their best defensive players. Brian Burns? Yeah. And they got Abdul. They lost their franchise quarterback in the second week. We don't need them. They got Abdul.

I mean that rookie Ravelle Riesis looked like he's thumping bodies Abdul's looking like a demon this year Kavon Thibodeau is I mean he's a high pedigree player that Deontay Banks had that reception return for touchdown he looked fucking Yeah the

The You got nine now Did you see that C.J Gardner Johnson is that his name? Oh yeah You see what he said about Chisholm? Chisholm's catch

He's like an elevator operator He's an elevator guy What an unbelievable thing To say about a white receiver He's an elevator guy Just a guy on the upper east side Waring a fucking Newsboy cap who

Oh sixth floor Yes ma'am Good to see you Mrs. Bailey They're killing him on mine Can I help with your groceries? They said that There people are just ripping on him Because he's been on four teams

In the last four years Yeah maybe more than that honestly He was on the Bears Eagles line Eagles again, Texans. Was he on the Colts? Isn't he on the Colts now? Or no.

No, he was on the Colts last year, wasn't he? I don't know. But he is, I mean, the Eagles went to two Super Bowls when he was on the team. He's the kind of player. You need, like, one guy that's dumb as fucking rocks. You need one guy in your defense that, like, cannot, like, count to 10. Wow, what a game. Pat's Bills.

Yeah, great game. That must have been tough for you. No, no, it wasn't. It was quite easy. Your two favorite teams, the two great loves. Two of your three favorite teams. Who's my third? Eagles.

Oh, brother. You couldn't even pay me to watch the Eagles right now. Why are there so many pictures of you in Eagles gear then? I mean, it's because I had it. People give it to me. Okay. I've said it before. I'll wear anything.

I don't care what it is. Obviously. I got to come on now. It's a great shirt. This is soccer jersey. Patriots soccer jersey. You do look like you're going to be selling. telling us hot dogs.

I mean, it's a great shirt. Look, I got to show support for my team. Let's hear your hot dog call. My team won yesterday. Your team lost to a bad team yesterday, which is fine. They were super team? I wouldn't call them a super team. Super team.

I would call them a team with two good players on offense. We lost the super team without six all pros? Who's the super team? The Rams. Who's a super player on the super team? Last year's MVP? Yeah, last year's MVP. Stafford?

Pretty good player. Stafford is 50 years old. The guy who had two rushing touchdowns? You guys couldn't keep up with the first. A 50-year-old man. 50? No, he was not, bro. He's 10 years younger than Brady was when he won his last Super Bowl.

10 years younger. And you think, you think, yeah, I'm just saying. You guys lost to a bad team. You got shit on. Your team is genuinely a disgrace to the game. It's not fun to watch. No one wants to watch a team score zero points in the second half. You're lashing out because Francis pointed out that you look like a cracker jack salesman.

You couldn't even wear your team's colors today. There's something about the Red Sox and the Patriots that is, deeply conflicting to me. I don't know how. It's just showing support. Even though it's the same color. It's just like a child that got to Boston for the first time. Right.

Like, I was aware. I was aware. And like you're wearing Celtics pants or something. Let's see the Bruins on these. Bruins ice skates. Look, I was aware that I might take some criticism for my outfit, but I'm fine with that as long as I got to show support for my team.

I really, really wanted to get you some cool sneakers. Oh, yeah. But that's too hard to buy for someone. You can't buy someone sneakers. No, no. Because you don't know how if they're not going to fit. And I knew you just might throw them away.

I felt like green hoodie, safe bet. Elabreen, Elbein, brand that you like. Definitely. Japan exclusive. Great gift, Francis. No, I'm not reaching for it. I'm just explaining my thought process. This is Francis's best gift, uh, gift Monday.

Oh, yeah. This is the best one that you've done. Oh, that's very kind. It is. All righty. Let's talk about tempo meals. Tempo Meals, the holidays have a way of swallowing my whole calendar and cooking is always the first thing to go. Tempos keeps you fed and actually eating well through the chaos.

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Lexington soon. I'll get you got. What do you guys? Do you guys want anything from Lexington? Yeah, bear meat. Yeah. I'll see what I can do. Actually, a Tyrese, Kentucky jersey.

I'm not going to get you that. Why? I thought we're in the gift giving me. I'll get Francis something. I'm about to bring you back to him. You really pissed him off with this spray. I gave you more sprits. I think the Roan experiment might be coming too much.

We gave it a try. It's just this isn't working for me. Don't say that, bro. I literally can't even breathe right now. I'm going to bring you back the fucking coolest spy craft from Herod's. I'm going to buy you some fucking. You better be. It's got to be.

Invisible ink and like a fucking invisibility cloak. I'm imagining that like the glasses from spy kids that like they go out super long. Now I'm going to bring you the Marauders map from Harry Potter. Yeah, I'm going to need some invisibility cloak. Really anything you can get your hands on. I will, bro. Don't worry about it. But I'm going to need that maxi jersey.

Do you feel bad that you're flying all the way to London to watch the Eagles lose again? It's for my sister's birthday. It's not about the outcome of the game. It's who you spend it with. I guess, yeah. Don't you think? I mean, if you're a casual. What do you mean?

I'm going out there to fucking celebrate celebrate a loved one. Yeah. I'd love to hear you. By watching your team lose. I'd love to hear you try and throw smut on that. I'm going to Churchill's war room. Oh, wait.

I've been to the Churchill's bunkers. Is that where it is? I don't know. I'm going to have to report back. In London, I've been to that. How was it? Awesome. Really?

It was really cool. Yeah, I heard it's one of the coolest experiences you can have. I don't know if that is what his war room is, but I mean, I don't know. Now I'll report back. That was really cool. I think I need a war room. What do you mean?

Just get one in for the house. By the way, the other cool thing from Herod's is like just tins of like shortbread. They make these really cool souvenir tins that have, you know, herds on them. Yeah, that would be nice. I've been trying to prepare and I'm like listening to podcasts about it. And every podcast someone's like, and she made me the best cup of tea I've ever had. And it's like, bro, like, how was one cup of tea that much better than another? cup of tea. I think tea is a pretty

uniform. I agree. But you should go to a high tea. I am good. We have a high tea plans. Good. Where? Where? What's the Hyde Park Hotel or something like that is the one that's... Let me check and see exactly where this high tea is. I didn't... We didn't overplan, but we have a high tea at Ham yard.

Nice. Ham yard. You couldn't dream of it, brother. Sounds beautiful. I could dream of ham yard. Hyde Park is stunning. It's a great park to walk around. Are you going to get the chance to get out to Birmingham or now? I've been to Brum.

Yeah, you've got to get out. I've already done Brum before. You should drive by the street that we crashed the car on. I don't think I'm going to be doing much driving out there, especially out to Brum. Isn't Brum like three hours from London? Hour and a half? No, but the traffic. No, there's no traffic.

No one's going there. Eagles traffic. Yeah, true. People fleeing the city. Because the Eagles fans are taking over. That would be fine. to see an Eagles fans take like Philadelphias are not prepared for the poshness of London.

No. No at all. It's the most scumbaggaged city and the most posh. Yeah. Yeah. Was that your experience that it is? Or is that overstated the poshness? Or is it more dudes like Central Sea?

I thought it was, every time I've been to England, I've just been like it just feels like I'm in America. Yeah. But like the cards are on the other side of the street. I like London a lot. I love it. I haven't been in a long time, probably like 15 years or so.

Yeah, you should go. Okay, I'll get right back on a plane. Yeah, you should go and you guys can watch the Eagles lose together. I'm flying a virgin. Oh, sick. That's supposed to be sick. I heard that it's the worst flying experience because it's something called the coffin seats where your legs go out like into the aisle. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's crazy. Oh, no. It's bad? I've heard that it's bad. I've heard Virgin's terrible. What? The 797-9. I'm not sure what type of plane it is.

But it's 797. I wouldn't have thought. 78.9, perhaps. Those planes always look like their nightclubs. They got that cool lighting. It's the lighting. Yeah. Oh, that looks great.

I wouldn't have thought that was bad, dude. That's got a full bed. Look up the- Sheets on the bed. Look at the, uh, look up Virgin Air coffin seats. Keeps scrolling. That's got to be it. That one, yeah, those ones.

It's just like someone's kind of looking over your shoulder. Oh, yeah. You're like offset a little bit. It's like a half. I mean, the flight to London. and's honestly pretty short. I had doors on my Japan air. Also on my Delta flight.

Dude, I'll say that the Delta flight home was pretty damn good. Was it better than the Japan air? It wasn't far off. Yeah. I mean, Delta one is great. When you get the big Delta one flight. Oh, yeah. The big like 12, the same one I had going to New Zealand.

Yeah. Those huge ones, the biggest plane they have, that Delta one seat is as good as it gets. Yeah, it's great. I'm taking a non-overnight flight. So I'm taking a day flight. I'm taking a flight at 8 in the morning and I land at 8 at night. That's awesome. You think it is?

Awesome. I think that's great, yeah. That's so nice. You'll get tired. I mean, just don't sleep on the flight. But it will be fun to sleep on that flight. But I'll wait. Get there, though, have a cheeky pint.

Yeah, get a couple of pines. Crishy. Yeah. Have some nandos. Yeah, that's actually, that sounds pretty ideal, to be honest. I think we got there at like one piece. That sucks. Yeah. And you flew overnight? Yeah. You flew at like, what, midnight and got there at like 1 p.m.? Something like that. Something weird. We got, we were there in the middle of the day and then we had to like, then you got to do shit. No. You're not trying to be driving around and doing shit. Right, driving. I'm not touching a fucking car. No. Just going to be going to gardens. Just going from one garden to another. Just hitting all the gardens. Yeah. Got hit them all. It's going to be sick. How was Boston? What did you do up there? Good. I was, well, I wasn't in Boston. I was back in Mass. from south of Boston, of course.

And it was good. I got to meet my cousin's baby, which was nice. Good dude. Girl. I held the baby. It fell through my arms. Not actually, but like I haven't held a baby.

Wait, honestly. This is your sister's baby? My cousins. Oh, okay. My first cousin once removed. You dropped a baby? No. When did your cousin have a child?

Like a couple months ago I didn't even know she was married Yep Well you don't really know anything about my cousin Because you don't share You've been keeping this information I don't know anything about your cousins I thought your sister got married

She did When did that happened last year And she's had a kid? No You don't want to talk about it There's nothing to talk about She hasn't had a kid But my cousin had a kid

And I got to tell me when you're an uncle so we can bond over that. Yeah, obviously I would tell you guys if my sister had a kid. You don't tell us anything about your family. There's been nothing to tell. What was I going to just, hey guys, just want to give you guys an update. And you never told us. We found out months later. That's not true.

Because you were like, you know, I went back to her hang out with her husband. But what? No, they put the baby like I had my arms like this and they put the baby like here and like the baby's head was here and it just went right through my arm. Oh, no. Just fumble right onto my lap. Didn't even get the punch out. Like immediately, I'm just standing. The peanut punch.

The baby's head is below my arm where the body is. And I'm like, well, that definitely isn't supposed to happen. You know that a baby doesn't like rest on you like you're a shelf? Like you have to actually hold it. Yeah. I learned that. He thought it was just going to teeter on you. And then my mom, like, fixed the baby's head.

And then she started crying immediately. The baby. The baby did. Oh. And then I was removed from holding the baby. That was it. That was it. I held it for probably five seconds.

Good. Good. I'm happy. Good hold, though. It was a solid hold. Girls have like a weird obsession with seeing a guy hold a baby. They're like, do you want to hold it? I mean, they're just obsessed with babies.

They love babies, but like they. I'm pretty sure my mom and my grandma and like her sisters, like I'm pretty sure they just go over every day and just pass around the baby for like six hours. A dream baby rotation. Yeah. Yeah. They literally just stand there just passing the baby around. That is nice.

I enjoy holding a baby But my grandma's obsessed with the baby Like my grandma Like they'd be like Oh the baby's smiling And she's like getting up from across the room Like jogging over to see the baby smile They love that shit

They love it It is like A uniquely Energizing experience Oh definitely It's better than It's as good as Phoenix It's a little bit worse than Phoenix

You ever see Like a new mother's camera roll. Oh yeah. It's all baby. Four million photos. Yeah. Of a baby doing everything.

Yeah. You take a photo of all of it. Just flopping around. Yeah. They are floppy. Oh, very. I didn't expect them to be that floppy. Because sometimes you'll be holding them and then their head will just be like.

That's literally, that's literally what happened. Yeah. Fuck. I didn't really. Did I just give you whiplash? Yeah. You really don't. It's a little scary.

It's like when you fall asleep on like an airplane or something like that. It's definitely scary holding someone else's baby. You have to keep their head. You have to keep their head erect. Oh, yeah. Was there any part of you after holding the baby that thought, I want one of these? I want to have a baby someday? I mean, I have no idea, but yeah, maybe.

I'm about to have a niece any day now. Really? Yeah. That's great. Got to have a niece. Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it. That's fantastic. This is your sister's baby?

my wife's sister's baby so she already has a son first niece once removed this would be my first niece once removed let's remove let's remove that niece at least one time this is a clear it's a pure niece but i don't understand cousins and removals because like your uncles people will be like you're you're like uncles kids and removed removed means through through marriage oh does it yeah so like my fuck here we go i i i don't I'm in enemy waters. Really confusing. My understanding before, can I guess, Tyler, before you confirm this, I think that once removed, right? So your. My cousin's baby is the first cousin once removed. Yeah, your wife's brother or sister.

My wife's sister. If they have a cousin. Like if your wife's sister's husband has a cousin, that would be a cousin of your one. removed because it's through a marriage sibling and actually I need the visual uh I need the image of it I'm completely wrong I love it this is it says generations right that's what it's removal is the generation yeah okay I thought it was marriage because so your second cousin is like you're fucking I can't I don't think that's helping can we get it written in English go back What did it say there?

That was completely, that made total sense. There's a once removed means there's a one generation difference between two family members who are in different generations. See my eyes as visual. Great-grandparent, great-grand-a. Yeah, wait, so that makes sense. But wait, great-uncle or great-a-a-a-a-a-old? Wait, so what if my first cousin once removed has a child, then what would that cousin be? Dude.

Would that be my second cousin once removed? Or that's only if it's your great-hon, great-uncle. Or it could be first cousin twice-remed. removed. Or you can also have second cousin twice removed. Interesting. All I know is that if it's removed twice, you can have sex with it. Oh, it is. It is. You were right. And a child will not be a problem. If it's removed twice. It's not incest. That's how the Roosevelt's got away with it. Yeah. Twice removed. You're clear. That's good to know. The chance of. That's because in Iceland, like everyone is second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, yesterday, I did my all time.

best good deed. Really? I think ever. For visibility, credit, and also for a goodness of act. Love that. What did you do? It satisfied all the categories.

It was just very rare. It was full credit to me and full credit to society. Love that. I was at LaGuardia. I landed. It was at the baggage claim because I had checked a bag

filled with, you know, wire shit from whatever. Anyway, I got, there was, there was this very old couple waiting for their bags, very old. Yeah. Frail. Frail. And the husband, the wife was getting the bags off the belt.

And her bags were coming out and she had two of them. And she went to grab the first one. And I was like, oh, I'll help you. And she was like, I got it. I got it. Thank you, though. And she grabbed them, but it was like, you know, hard for her. I was like, I could have done that.

Yeah. And I was like, good, good work. I said something like, you know, good work. That looked, those were, those were, she grabbed them both at the same time. Yeah, yeah. They came out at the same time. And I was like, good work. She was like, thank you.

And then her husband where I was like, why didn't he fucking help her? Yeah. His shoe was untied. Oh. And I went, I went, oh, heads up on your, heads up on your, your shoe there and he looked at me and he was like and she looked at me and she goes as you know

like he's retarded yeah yeah at this point tell me you didn't tie his shoe he's just retarded and so I tied his shoe I went I got it and because she was like dealing with the bags and I got

down on my knee and tied his shoe that's insane double not yeah loops swoop I tied his shoe for him. That's genuinely insane. Imagine if you caught Francis doing that. Genuflecting at the altar of age. What time were you at LaGuardia?

And by the way, the fact that all the people waiting for their bags did not like simultaneously break out into applause. Just goes to show how far our values have eroded. They probably thought it was like you were like his grandson or something. Come on. Either way. Did a lot of people see you? Were you centrally located? Enough people.

We were right at the spout. Yeah, we were right at the spout. Oh, nice. And I'll tell you what, dude. Whatever happened to like, you know, worshiping our heroes. The greatest generation. We used to build shrines. Yeah.

We've been pretty shrineless. It's just no one to worship. They're tearing them down. Where are the shrines? When was the last time we built a shrine? Who were we building? Kobe's got a shrine. Nick Foles.

Foles got one after the Philly special. Kobe's got a shrine at the Staple Center. Brady's got one. Brady got a shrine. It's just athletes. It's only sports heroes. Yeah, everybody else has had their shrines taken down because they were slavers. Yeah, right. You know, you write one blog about a dead girl and all of a sudden you don't

get your shrine because the South doesn't like it. Yeah, you probably wouldn't have known that you lost your shrine then. No. No. That's the, it is nice to die thinking of your shrine is still up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you either live long enough to see yourself become the Yeah. You see your shrine get torn down to see your stash. A hero could be anyone, even a young guy tying the shoe of a guy who's not his grandfather. Or Christopher Columbus. I had a flight yesterday from Boston. Wait, Harry, can I just before you say that? Of course. That quote of a hero can be anybody,

even someone putting a coat around the shoulders of a boy to let him know the world hasn't ended. Oh yeah, yeah. You never saw Batman begins. No, no. So do you even know what that quote means? I mean, I thought I did. Dude, this hit me like a ton of bricks

in the middle of like the night. Yeah. There are so many moments in both. But there's a lot of like flashbacks. And the Dark Night Rises that refer to the first movie, which you never saw and you love the others. Yeah. I mean, I guess I must have just assumed that I understood the references and I don't. Because I have no idea.

Gordon comforts Bruce Wayne after his parents are killed. But don't they show that in the dark night? Briefly, you wouldn't have. No, I think I do. I think I did remember. don't know hairball. Because I do feel like they provide a lot of context so that you don't have to watch the shitty first one. It's not shitty.

All right. Sorry. You were saying you were. I was just because I had a flight from Boston yesterday. So I might have, what time did you get to the airport to LaGuardia? 6.30 p.m.? Oh, wow. Never mind.

Not even close. I was there like one. I missed my flight yesterday. You did? Yeah. I had a. How? Yeah, well, so I woke up, I set my alarm for 820 and then I woke up, or no, I set my alarm for 8, and then I woke up for like 20 minutes.

So I said it again for 820, never went off. And then my mom woke me up at 9.15 minutes. So it's your alarm's fault. Your alarm didn't go. No, it was my fault and it was my Uber driver's fault. You didn't set the alarm. I did. No, you didn't. I did. I showed it to my mom. I said, look, it's set.

There's no way that you set your alarm and the iPhone malfunctioned. You set the alarm and it didn't go off. That happens quite often. Oh, yeah, yeah. The most basic piece of technology they have just doesn't work. Everything else works. They connect to a satellite within milliseconds, but they couldn't get your alarm right. You don't know shit.

You don't know shit about tech. It's somebody else's fault. You don't know shit about it. My alarm didn't go off. Nothing. Did you tell that to the gate agents? I'm sure they would have held the plane for you. Well, no, where I was going with the story was, so I set the alarm, doesn't go off.

whatever. Then I get an Uber. Has this ever happened to you guys where you get an Uber? And the Uber, I mean, obviously I'm in the suburbs of Massachusetts, so I'm not expecting it to be like a one minute Uber, but I'm getting one that's 20 minutes away. And I know there's Ubers that are closer, so I cancel. And then I got a new one. Same person accepts it.

And then I'm going, I canceled like five times and the same person kept on taking the drive. I just had to wait. So you had to get that person? So I had to get that person and then I missed my... That's the time when I bump up. I'll go to... I think I was already there. Black.

I don't think they even have that as an option. Really? Yeah. Deluxebury? Yeah. I mean, it's not like... Everything's black out there. It's all black.

It's all black and... It's actually almost all white. But... But... But... Be it to it. He did. He did.

I didn't even hear. I didn't even hear because I was... Tie his shoe. Tye his shoe. I was actively saying it. But anyways. So I'm in the Uber and this is my least favorite feeling when I'm like, I know I'm going to miss the flight. So I'm looking at other flights and I'm like, those flights are filling up.

And then I get on and I'm like finally get to a point where I'm like, okay, there's literally no chance I'm going to make this flight. It was an 11 a.m. flight. I got to the airport at 10.50. Oh my. So I'm like, yeah. Right. So right. Right. Right. So I changed my flight. I changed it in the car to the 12 p.m. They got one every hour. So I'm like, I'm pretty much on time for the. the 12 p.m. Like, this isn't that bad. And then I get through security. They're still boarding the 11. They were only on zone three. Did you go back to the 11? I couldn't. It was sold out.

But did you, so you got rid of your ticket? I got rid of my ticket. I had no choice. I had to change my flight. You did say it had changed. Yeah. But you were on the 12th. I was on the 12th. So it wasn't that big of a deal, but I could have made the 11. Isn't that, imagine if that was like a flight like. Like my London flight, where it's like there's an. 8 o'clock and then there's not one until. Yeah.

Like I changed and then you get like seeing them boarding, I was like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Yeah. No email, nothing. That would have made me sick to my stomach. I was fine though. Like I said, I was literally, I was just on time. I waited for like 15 minutes for the noon flight.

Yeah, that's very nice. That does have me spooked about missing this flight to London though. That was my first miss in a minute. Felt good. Love getting one. I haven't missed the flight. I don't know when the last time was. The last time I missed one before that was when we were all going to Chicago.

And I missed it while they were still boarding again, but the lady wouldn't let me board. All of us did when we were all going? Yeah, for something. Because your alarm didn't go off. Because your alarm was broken. Well, my phone is actually fucking destroyed. My phone has been acting up too.

The planned obsolescence is kicking in. Yeah, it's because they just put out a new iPhone that has the longest battery life that they've ever had, so they want everyone to buy it. Yeah, my battery life is a disaster. My battery life is plummeting, and every time I like to try to look up one of my contacts, it just isn't there. Oh, no. Bro, what is that about? The searching on settings, just there's never any results.

You have to, nothing comes up. It only works if I put it in someone's last name. Yeah. If I put in first name, it doesn't work. But if I go through my recent text messages, it's like I never texted anyone before. Couldn't agree more. But I have to go, if I go through contacts. Yeah, the software is completely fucked.

What the fuck is going on? This is buggy is all hell. What can you do? It was. I had actually had a great weekend, though, because I, like, just, like, hung out with my family all day, and then they all go to bed at, like, 8 p.m. So then I would just play video games all night,

just at my parents' house, like, in the living room. And, like, they got, I mean, there's a whole house of food and snacks. That is good. It was great. That's nice. It was a little blast from the past. That's kind of like me in the pool house. Yeah, it felt like that.

What kind of snacks are your parents packing? Swiss rolls. What's that? All right, we're going to end it there. Let's wrap it up there. I don't know what those are. Swiss rolls? You guys don't know what Swiss rolls are?

Like honey buns? They're like similar, but no, it's more on the... Oh, oh, they're like a hostess type of... Yeah, yeah. Wow. Took down a Swiss roll late. Nice. Is that a single count or are there two in a pack?

Two. Come on now. My hotel every morning put out a big branch of fresh grapes every day. Oh, wow. At your room? In my room, every room. Every room. Oh, wow.

It's a lot of grapes. I ate the whole thing. It was a lot of grapes. Yeah. And they were huge grapes. Yeah, I didn't realize how many sizes to grapes there were. You've seen the long ones? They got long grapes now.

Long grapes? Yeah. No. Like long, like they're almost like a pencil. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Look at these things.

Long grapes. Oh, my God. Very foul. Moon drops. That's what people call. Oh, cool. Good. Or sweet sapphires.

That's kind of the more. Yeah. I got some blue. recently, organic blueberries. No one wants to hear about your blueberries. They were huge. Hear me out. They were.

They were, they were planetary. They were so big, but they were organic. My wife throws them right in the trash. She's like, these aren't organic. They cannot be growing that big if they're organic. And then I checked the blueberries this morning. They're like fucking microbeats. She just had little fucking raindrop blueberries.

Yeah, those are the wild ones, probably. Wild, the tiniest blueberries you ever seen. That's what we're known for in Maine. The main wild blueberries. People think our big export. I'm sorry? Big or small? Tiny.

I like the biggents. Like, look at that. Oh my God. Those are tennis balls. Those are big. Holy shit. She had some tennis balls, but they were organic. Holy shit.

Those are literally like the pool balls. Yeah. You could like skip one of those on the lake. I would love that. Imagine eating a blueberry like an apple. Sounds like everyone wants to hear about the blueberries. Sounds like the blueberries. This was Tyler pulled up a great photo of the blueberries.

Because you need a visual aid. You need to be, you need a picture book to understand what's going on in the story. He literally just saved the episode. Look at this. You get Harry one good present and he turns all his ire away from me to you. Normally he and I are arguing like this, but I got him a good present.

I mean, I've never seen blueberries like that. Yeah, that's what we were working with. There was a children's book I read growing up called Blueberries for Sal. Oh yeah, I've read that. You read that?

Yeah. That was the one that really put me on to how Maine is like famous for our Blueberry. Sal? I used to read that all the time. Yeah. The Impractical Joker? It's a great book.

Yeah. Volcano? Yeah, he wrote it. Yeah. There's a bunch of these. My grandparents used to have like all of them. Sal as the protagonist? I think so, yeah.

Did you get any presents for the little baby that you held? Did she just eat other like fruits and stuff? Maybe Sal's a guy. Did you buy any presents for the baby? Now. You're a bad, bad uncle. Well, I'm not an uncle. Once removed. You should have got something for them. Maybe there aren't a bunch of them. Maybe we just had multiple copies of it.

I'm not seeing too many other fruits for Sal. I'd think there'd be apples for Sal based on what you said. Miss Rumpfius was the other one I loved, the Lupin lady. see i don't know any of these bitches howled in the purple crayon it's a classic you come to learn that children's books are a bit regional maybe what did you guys have um

good night moon yeah yeah of course see those are the bangers though yeah hungry caterpillar we never really even read those ones they were a little too mainstream you're you're uh blueberries for sale you're an indie book children's book reader yeah

hailed in the purple crayon blueberries for sale yeah what lessons were you learning Sal and Hobbs. Oh, that's what I was thinking of. Calvin and Hobbes. Salvin and Hobbs. Salvin and Hobbs was great.

That shit was genuinely funny. So good. Calvin and Hobbs was so good. It really was. Bangin. They were buddies too. Fuck, maybe that's what my kid should be for Halloween.

The one thing about Calvin and Hobbs that was odd was that what everyone's in a while. What was the guy Bill Waterson? Yeah. He'd throw like a strip. that was just like pure philosophy. Oh, yeah. It would usually be one where they would be racing down the hill on the wagon. And it was like way over my head as a seven-year-old or like a nine-year-old.

I couldn't understand what the fuck was going on. I guess that's the point, though, is that he made it for all ages. Know what I pray for? What? The strength just change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference. Oh, that's great. That's the flip on the famous.

You should lead an interesting life. Oh, I already do. Fuck, that's nice. Yeah, there's a lot of like existentialism, which, you know, I just remember reading it and being like, I have no idea what's going on. And then it'd be like, all right, now there's monsters on the bed again. Few.

They're racing again. Yeah. He's being tackled out the door. Thank God. It is really good. It's really good. The dad, the parents were very funny. The dad was hysterical.

I used to have like the big books. Yeah, the anthology ones. Yeah, those were awesome. Those are collections. Did you watch Cayu growing up? Oh, yeah. Kiyu is the winiest little bitch I've ever heard in my life. We didn't really watch it long.

Mommy, why can't I play with the toy? Bro, this is teaching kids to be a bitches. I didn't know this. There's like a channel of Cayu that's like, somehow my kids can fucking like, it's just what's on the. TV like you just turn it on it's all Kai you all day and it's just this little whiny kid

yeah we got to a point where when Kai Yu came on we changed the channel Like me and my sisters were like Get this shit off Mom I want to play Yeah it's like teaching the worst tone and perspective For children everywhere

The Blueie's the thing now Yeah yeah My nieces and nephew Yeah pop patrols well they've they've moved off paw patrol in favor of blue really yeah you got to see if they're on to uh they're out there they're acab yeah it's either your paw patrol or you're miss rachel yeah you can go either side of the political spectrum uh have you guys have you uh have you had any kids in your life put you on to danny go no this guy's a fucking wild man this guy goes so fucking hard in the paint oh it looks like

sensory over stimulation oh love that Like, he'll have your kids drooling, just like maybe having a seizure, honestly. Like, there's so much going on in a Danny go. A freak. Very simple. Danny's a freak. Don't say that, bro. I can tell just from the photo.

Use for the kids. Yeah. Exactly. Bro, pick your next words carefully. All right. Yeah. Let's wrap this up. Let's wrap the shit up.

We have multiple shows this week. Yeah, I think we just went for like two hours. Jesus Christ. I mean, I talk 90% of it. All right. We will see you guys on Thursday. Thank you. Goodbye.