Son of a Boy Dad - John Pork On My Rizz | Son of a Boy Dad #237 ft. Shawn Gardini

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

John Pork On My Rizz | Son of a Boy Dad #237 ft. Shawn Gardini -- Ad: Head to https://DrinkCann.com and use code SON30 for 30% off your order of Cann and get free shipping. -- Ad: Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/son50 and use code son50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. -- Ad: Get $10 dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to https://Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code BOYDAD. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Save it for the cast, bro. Save it for the cast. 21 camp products contain less than 0.3 Delta 9 THC that is derived from hemp do not claim to diagnose treat cure or Prevent any disease and have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA So, you know, it's good a lot to get into You're gonna do Matt and Shane's after this now, too They didn't want it. They didn't want to join in just do a little like we do the first hour, they take the second hour. I don't know what we're going to do. I'm sure no one will mind that Shane's not on it though.

Oh, he's not on. I don't think so. Damn. Are you recording locally? Let me double check. But yeah. Yep. All right, cool. We're good to go. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the future. This is the future of podcasting right here. Today we are joined by a very special guest, the great and the powerful Sean Gardini everybody. Hello. We'll throw in an applause there.

That would be nice here. This is going to be extremely edited. There's going to be like graphics shooting everywhere. That's good. A bunch of fun. That's what the kids want. That's good. A bunch of fun. That's what the kids want. We're actually trying to steer our audience to more like a children's show. Right like Blippi. Do you know about Blippi? I'm loosely familiar with Blippi. Blippi makes children's content but he also has a video from like

a long time ago where he shits on his friend. Yeah yes I don't know if I think you might have told me about that it was either you or maybe yeah or maybe it was on the yak but yeah yeah he's like a kid's youtuber and then they pulled the footage and he's he's doing some freak shit right. It was like the Harlem Shake video do you remember the Harlem Shake? Yeah. When the bee dropped, you know how when the bee dropped, everybody go absolutely buck wild? Yeah, and he shit on his friend.

Yeah, he just took a dump on his friend. And doesn't it like shoot out of his ass? Yeah, it's like a vicious turn. That's crazy. It's like a vicious turd. That's crazy. It's like a projectile dump. I don't know if I've ever taken a projectile dump before. I don't know if I have either. I've been trying to get my dumps in order.

They've been nice today. But we don't want to do potty humor on the podcast though, do we? That's usually what we talk about, it's just the status of my shits. But I'm feeling good today. I took a nice turd and got myself a little iced coffee. Oh, cool. Liberal. I got a hot coffee. I got a hot coffee liberal.

Oh, it's got your name on it too. Yeah, this makes the left so mad. When they see me drinking my hot coffee out of my legoland mug did you go to legoland? What where is it? Is it like it? I thought it was in Atlanta for some reason I've been to Atlanta when I was a kid to because we have family friends out there. Atlanta's a great city. It gets a bad rep. Yeah, I wonder why it has a bad reputation.

I have to go there soon. Helium just opened a club there. I know. I'm doing it next year. You too? Well, I'm doing it with Matt though. Oh, nice. it in a next year. You should go fishing on the Chattahoochee while you're out there. The Chattahoochee, I hear so much about the Chattahoochee.

The Chattahoochee is great. I went fishing there, I caught some large mouth bass. It was great. You know that's my jam. I know, it was fun. There's a whole song about it. You've been shitting on bass about the Chattahoochee Yeah, it could be the best name for the body of water The Chattahoochee? The Chattahoochee is such a funny name When I was there apparently there was a cute little name Apparently there was an E. Coli breakout when I was there on the Hooch The Hoochee? Yeah, the Hoochie was the Hoochie was infected with E. coli.

So you weren't swimming in it, so what's the big deal? Bro, I fell in, deep. And did you really? Yeah, I see, and I was at like a, I was fishing at like pretty much like a family beach. And I fell into the water up to my neck. It was so embarrassing. Are you joking? No, I'm dead serious.

Up to your neck? Yeah, I slipped and there was this super steep hill and it went right into like a deep pool and I was just all of a sudden I'm just swimming covered in mud. I wasn't scared. I wasn't fly-fishing either So I didn't have like my waders or anything. So I was just in clothes Soak. And then I had to go walk by all the families in the park just covered in mud And then I had to go walk by all the families in the park just covered in mud Did you do that scared whenever I fall into water by accident? I always do that scared doggy paddle type swim Oh, yeah, you know like that Yeah

It's not it's so embarrassing. It's not a cool swim at all. It's you're you're flailing around like you're drowning Yeah, my snowball is really not cooperating with me too why does this thing in like five sounds great I'm gonna take it off the stand I go straight ball this is good I hope the you guys don't have a nickname for your listeners. I just realized the fucking Bitches, I don't know. I couldn't think of anything funny to say. What's the look of my world brother?

Where's said where say I mean a ronan Francis? Dude, Rone and Francis jumped ship. They went to Draft Kings. So they're doing the podcast out of there now. They went to the Empire? Yeah, this is just me. This is just my podcast now. They're at the Draft Kings castle. No, they have to film, there's like, they're doing some game show in the Chicago office

right now. Are you allowed to spill the beans on that? I don't know anything about it at all I it just started I guess two days ago so I'm not really up to date, but I was texting them yesterday asking if they could do the podcast and They couldn't and for you know Francis. I just don't see how that's possible for us to do that Ellis I was with Ellis this weekend. I know, how was it? He's a fucking savage. Was he?

I love Francis. Was he on his best behavior? He was actually really nice. Yeah, he was being good. He's funny too. Some guy gave us a strawberry rhubarb pies, shout out to him. Oh, Francis loves sweet treats. Yeah, they were really good. You know I don't have much of a sweet tooth

But they were really tasty Yeah, shout out to the bro. His thing is his fans bring him pie When he goes on the road his fans are very cool and nice Yeah, Ellis has got a good fan base. It's all just like old like Established people like old, like established people, like people who like have a house and like a family. My fans come up to me and they like whisper in my ear and they're like, you helped me beat my fentanyl addiction.

And I'm like, all right, thanks bro. Hey, you take care. It's yin and yang, you two. That's the yin and yang of Fran Squatch. I love my fans. A lot of people think I hate my fans. I love your my fans. A lot of people think I hate my fans. I love your fans too. A lot of people think I hate them.

They are nice. I was sitting at a restaurant the other day with my friends and some dude just walked by and he just goes, Sass, dog, and then he just kept walking. That's awesome. I told this story on Matt and Shane's, but some guy pulled up to me in the car the other day and was like, guard dog. And I thought it was my friend. I thought

it was like someone I knew. So I was like, yo. And I got all excited. It's like a dude I'd never met before. And I just had like a three minute conversation at the red light with him. Oh, you were at a red light. It got to a point where we like ran out of stuff to talk about. We both had it just looked in for like 30 seconds and then slowly rolled the window up. And then eventually just with it. So how you like it Austin? I was like I love it man. I was like the light's green I gotta go man. That's brutal. You should have raced him.? I love it man. I was like the light's green, I gotta go man.

That's brutal. You should have raced him. I should have let him hear what the Accord could do. Yeah, exactly. At least revved it once or twice. Just let him know who's in charge. But that's saying sang. How's Austin? I was talking to LaMare the other day and he was saying you better just have the same conversation that I had at the Red Lake

I was awesome treating you. LaMare texted me the other day and he said he was saying that I should move to Austin or I said or Shane and LaMare texted me and then they were I said moved back to New York and they said no and then LaMare texted me and I said, moved back to New York and they said no. And then LaMare said you should move to Austin. And I said, too much to accomplish here still. And he said, he was like, that's smart because it's cricket season right now anyway, you don't wanna move here during cricket season.

I wanna move here during cricket season. What is cricket season like down there? He made it seem like it was real nasty. Cricket season is crazy. It is really nasty, down there? You made it seem like it was real nasty. Cricket season is crazy. It is really nasty. They jump on you and shit. You'll just walk into like the comedy club and have a cricket on your shoulder. You gotta flick it off. You gotta go... Crickets everywhere. You gotta go fly fishing. I don't know how. There's barely any fresh water here.

Bruh, that's just so unt's just for me to fish off the bank There's no bank fishing out here, dude everyone. I talked to you. There's a nice bro I met the other day who sent me like three spots, but they're all like 45 minutes away Bruh 45 minutes is nothing I go like an hour and a half away to find water I Know but yours your fish simp, bro I let the fish come to me. The fish are not going to come to you in downtown Austin. You got to break out. You got to move outside the city.

I am sort of outside the city. You've been to the crib. Yeah, I know. It's crazy. And there's nothing over here. I don't understand. That's the most appealing part about Austin is having just a house to yourself. You literally just live in a home by yourself. Yeah, the crib is nice. It's crazy, this is it. Crickets can't get you in here.

This is all I have. Everything that you see is what I have, and I'm paying double what you pay. Yeah, that's probably exactly right. This city is a goddamn prison. Yeah, but at least you don't have crickets. I know, that's true. I love crickets though.

Dude, I'm telling you, they're so nasty, they're big. Dude. When I went fishing in Wyoming, the crickets were, that was what was the hatch that day? Hoppers, grasshoppers, slash crickets. And dude, you just, you have a little cricket, and you just throw it in the water Trout just come up and smack it. I bet the bass would do the same thing It would be nice

It's I really got to get on some bass. I'm having withdrawals I'm having fishing withdrawals. I'm missing fishing dude. You should go Texas I think has some pretty good Smallmouth bass like rivers you should go, uh, Texas I think has some pretty good small mouth bass, like rivers. You should go fish those. Those would be sick. You ever fish in a river before or you were just a pond slash lake man? On lake man.

I'm sure I have. I'll check it out. The south, I know Alabama does and I know Texas obviously has great bass fishing, but they got some pretty sick Smallmouth rivers where you can just catch like big like huge smallmouth I Want to catch some smallmouth, but I need to get on some larges. I miss my larges I know dude. Did I tell you about when I went to Pennsylvania, and I tried to eat smallmouth I Think you did well is that when you caught like a million? I caught like 30 of them and then I tried to cook them I tried to cook four and I

just like I just pretty much just tortured and mangled them and then threw them back into the water it was did it was horrifying. You couldn't you couldn't get to meet? I couldn't get to meet you watch that guy's videos He's like one of my favorites Deli shoes, I watch his videos every night. Yeah, dude his college old Coleman. You gotta get a Coleman dude You have a Coleman Dude, I got a Coleman right sitting right here. Dude, they're 30 bucks Old Coleman. Yeah, it's $30 for a full camp stove. It's great. Old Smokey. I do not have a Smokey I'm assuming Smokey is probably a little more expensive than the old Coleman

Big Earl I'm excited you've seen that I didn't know anyone else is getting those videos. Oh, dude I he popped up on my timeline name is Wade right Wade fishes or something something like that. He dude. He'll eat anything He'll eat anything that's in the way Anything that's in the water you see when he's on the Mexican tip where he does Large mouth that's the that's what the Asians do. The Asians will just eat anything. And those boys love to break the rules and go over the limit. You see one of those guys, they got fun.

They got a cooler with 45 small mouth bass in it. Should start citizens arresting them. You should cite, I don't know, what is like a citizens game warden. I know, I should go down to the Hudson right now. Puff them in wait till the wait. I don't know. I think it's like a citizen's game warden. I know. I should go down to the Hudson right now. Huff them in wait until the wait. Dude, those guys eat fish that are in the Hudson River.

And you're like, dude, this is, it's literally poison that you're eating. That's what I was saying about the doggies and the cats about how Trump was talking about them eating the doggies and the cats. I was like, I'm pretty sure people in New York have been doing that for years and years and years. Oh, absolutely. There's definitely over a thousand people in New York who eat dog and cat like once a week. That's like their Sunday night meal. The door dash drivers. I think that was you who was talking about the door dash drivers.

What was I saying? It's filling their bags up with sunnies from the fucking central. Oh dude. Yeah. Because I went fishing in central. But your Chipotle the same bag on the back of their boat. Dude I went fishing at Central Park and it was literally it was just all door dash dudes like with their bikes parked and they just had like one of those like like four-piece rods And they were all just catching fish throwing it straight in the bag Straight in the bag. I went and saw Sebastian Maniscalco this weekend at MSG How was that? So good

Unbelievable are you a Sebastian guy? I didn't know that a lot of comedians didn't like Sebastian because they think he's like Like his it's all delivery. I think he's the best He's funny for sure. I did turn down going to see him one time Big mistake big mistake dude. This was This probably the best comedy show I've ever been to really better than drip at the stand upstairs when when you Yeah, probably better than that I've been to some good shows though. I guess I was there when chain filmed a special that was that was really

That was a good show yeah this was the best just the best show that I've ever bought tickets to and gone to. And sat in the crowd and watched. I haven't bought tickets to a show in a dog's age. Yeah, I was kind of nervous because I wasn't really laughing in the beginning. Like when we first sat down at like the openers, I wasn't't really that into it but also there's a ton of people talking and that was pissing me off so then I was I started thinking I was like I hope I can still enjoy live comedy and then Sebastian dude Sebastian pulls up on he

pulls up to stage on a moped I'm screaming I'm screaming laughing I swear to God dude and he's like you know like how like Schultz has like when he does like an arena there's like a 45 minute intro video that's exactly what Sebastian has and then and then the video just cuts to a live feed and it's him cruising through Madison Square Garden on a moped. Oh, so it was at MSG. Yeah, it was so, we were right up front, dude. Damn, what if he started crowd working you? He crowd worked a couple people and uh.

At MSG? At MSG, put him on the Jumbotron and they all got. Whoa. Yeah, they didn't play for it, they didn't like it at all. They all were like, dude, they were like hiding their faces and shit. Because there was a dude in the front row wearing shorts and Sebastian was like, thanks for dressing up.

And then they show him on the big screen. And that dude was given like the, let's move on. I don't wanna do this. Leave me out of it, buddy. Yeah. It was great. Dude, he comes up on stage and he goes, happy to be here in New York.

And then he goes, went for a little walk. What happened? And I'm just, I'm screaming laughing. I'm like, I was like a crowd member at one of those Def Jam comedy shows. Like I'm standing. I'm a 50 year old Italian lady, dude. Why do you have the comedy taste of like my mom?

Dude, I'm standing up pacing around. I'm laughing so hard. You in Black Eye Magician mode? Oh, so good. I don't get- everyone said, like it was like that though. Like we were the youngest people. I went with my friends from home We were the youngest people there by

Ten years everyone around us was like 60 Well, you know where I'm from. I'm from yeah Yeah, and all the Italians. I mean he might as well be a god Everybody loves Sebastian Every one of my parents friends. Oh, yeah, dude my grandma my mom texted me and she was like grandma loves Sebastian. Every one of my parents friends. Oh yeah, dude, my grandma, my mom texted me and she was like, Grandma loves Sebastian? And I was like, how does she even know who he is? But I mean, I guess it makes sense. He sold out five shows at the Garden.

So he's got to be, yeah. That's definitely his demographic. And that's the good demographic to have, because those people actually buy tickets, because they have money. True, yeah. I remember my friends, my friend Bryce, shout out to Bryce. He might be listening to this actually. Shout out Bryce. And he went to Atlantic City with his family and my family went with, you know, both of our families went to Atlantic City and they were like, we're going to see Sebastian, do you want to come? And went to Atlantic City and they were like we're gonna see Sebastian do you wanna come and I was I think I was like nineteen or maybe twenty at the time

and I was thinking about starting comedy but I don't think I did and I was like I'm not gonna see that I was like judgemental about it and I'm sort of embarrassed about how I should have just gone and seen it well that's what that's what that's what Francis was saying to me He was saying that uh He was like I'm surprised that you like Sebastian because a lot of comedians are like pretty judgmental over him And they say it's kind of like I don't know. I think if you just get over the fact that he's doing a character. It's great

Yeah, he's sort of like a Dice exactly. Yeah. Yeah. He like dice without they're like riddles and being extremely you know without the Edginess yeah the the misogyny Shut your fucking hole oh And now we're back get it have you ever seen that the day the laughter died An hour back get it have you ever seen that the day the laughter died? No, I was just watching dice rules though that one when he does MSG that one's great That looks like it might be the most fun comedy show of all time

Where everyone's singing along is every yeah? Yeah, exactly everyone's doing the little boy blue He gave me the money needed the money You know about the day the laughter died it's a two-part audio album No in my danger fields, I think it's in danger fields on like a Tuesday and he records it two hours And he's just like bombing sort of on purpose. Yeah. Yeah, but it's so fun. It's still so funny. But he's like antagonizing the clue. Yeah. He's like one one like 10 minute five minute chunk where he's just like doing this joke that doesn't make any sense. He just keeps going. Yeah. I'll be there maybe an hour maybe an hour back. And he just keeps saying that it doesn't make any sense it's not a reference to anything

and he just never stops doing it and I think about that all the time that's awesome you're about as funny as a glass of milk that's what somebody says to him at one point I can't remember I haven't watched it in a while

but I always think about an hour back I always watch I always rewatch his his uh the one that made him famous though the Rodney Dangerfields like live Set that's one where he goes up and he does it. He's got this got the cigarette Yeah, like a tail did it and Doug Stanhope did it. Yeah, he does the around the mouth. I Yeah, like a tail did it and Doug Stanhope did it. Yeah, he does the around the mouth. I mean that- Let's stop talking shop, dude. We're talking too much shop. They don't want to hear this inside baseball.

Bro, this isn't even inside baseball. We don't know either of these people. But yeah, we got to talk about, there's a lot of stuff that we got to cover today, important stuff. Not just, it's not just all like sunshine and rainbows. We got to talk about Diddy As I said about Diddy I still haven't really covered the Diddy stuff yet on this podcast and I know a lot of people are looking to hear like My point of view. Yeah, they clamoring for it Exactly. Yeah Lord forgive me for what I did with Diddy Lord Forgive me for what I did with Diddy. That's fake, right? Yeah

Yeah, it sounds so real. I know. I love that. I love that audio. It's so funny that somebody made that. I know. You gotta love it. You gotta just sit back and laugh when you see that kind of stuff. Well, I mean so Meek definitely got fucked by Diddy, but it seems to be the new one seems to be JB, seems to be heavily, I mean, JB got Diddy'd. Yeah, I've been on the JB too. JB got the full Diddy, yeah. The video of Diddy being like,

we're gonna have a sleepover. Do you remember that? Yeah, I've seen them all. Have you seen that? Yeah. I saw that one, Matt sent me that one a while ago. Yeah. And it was disturbing and now it's getting even more disturbing.

Like there's a video of him patting him down recently. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that one. Cause to see if he was wearing a wire. He's fried, bro. Yeah, dude, he's fried. That was the, is that the same one? The one where he's patting him down, is that the same one where he's like, I feel like we never hang out anymore

And Justin's like yeah, man, I just been so busy lately Michael Jackson energy he has a huge MJ energy, especially when he was younger But now if people are doing all that gay shit where they're like They're like clipping out that song of his where he's like and they're like nothing no and they're like they're like oh my god he was speaking to us this entire time no one listened to JB what if you had it all give me for what I did with Diddy and And then Kevin, the Heartbreaker's the most devastating one for me. Kev was being so. Dude, Kev was getting, Kev was,

I think Kev might have been like second in command at the freak off. Yeah, Lil Kev the bastard. Little Kev the pervert. Patrice is rolling in his grave right now. Patrice. Imagine what Patrice would say about the D stuff. Patrice would throw fucking 15 phone books at Kev

right now at the heartbreaker. That is funny, thinking about Patrice and being like, damn, I just wish we could hear about what, I wish we could hear what Patrice would say about this big Justice stuff. I wish we could get Patrice's take on the Rizzler right now. So I'm actually new on Big Justice. That's a new thing for me.

But that song has been stuck in my head just nonstop. We bring the boom. That's what we do. We bring the boom! That's what we do! We bring the boom! We bring the boom to you! My favorite part is when he goes, where they say what time they come out with their videos every day. Oh yeah, every day on your FYP.

Yeah, your favorite father and son. I like to think about it. You're big into that shit. Yeah, well my brain's rotten to the core. Yeah, you got brain rot. I try to stay away from the brain rot. I'm big, my favorite is John Pork, you know that? Well, I put you on to John Pork. No, that's not true, bro.

That's absolutely true. I sent you John Pork. I put you on to John Pork. I sent you John Pork and I said, I need that Skibbity Grimace shake from Livy Don. I sent you that first. I sent you John Pork. I'll pull it up right now. I can pull it up, I can get you... I absolutely sent you John Pork first.

I put you on to JP. I need that Skibbity Grimace shake from Livy Don. I put you on to JP and I sent this to you and I said, dude, I said, go look at Instagram. I just sent on a JP and I and I sent this you and I said dude I Said you go to go look at Instagram. I just sent you a heater Dude I'm looking at right here No, I sent you I sent your JP Look do go all September 15th all the way it's even 15th. All the way up. It's even further? Yeah. That's on September 8th. That's the uh. Oh yeah I do, okay you got me. John Pork on my Riz.

I can't hear it at all. Oh really? Yeah I don't know why. My bad. John Pork on my Riz. John Pork on my Riz. John Pork is my favorite one. I've been doing John Pork. Noel loves John Pork too. He's been sending me John Pork for months bro. It'll be like the meme of like John Pork is calling you go to pick up. Yeah John pork is calling you gonna pick up Yeah, John pork is is really the only brain rot that I've that I've fully that I've fully dived into John pork and moodang. Those are the two those are the two good ones. I'm not familiar with moodang at all That's the hippo dang is the little hippo. Yeah. Yeah moodang You make my heart sang That's what I came up with

Is that an original song That yeah, that's I came up with that bro., you gotta record that and get that out there ASAP. I do, I do. That's the future. If you're listening to this and you try to steal that from me, know that I'm gonna sue your ass. This is, make known that that is my intellectual property.

Dude, you gotta put that as like an AI generator and have Drake sing that. Yeah, but like, yeah. And then like, and then put AI, and then AI, Moodang to be lip syncing along with it. Right, that's what I was thinking. And then make the caption like super grainy, like a fried photo, and then have the caption be like,

is Moodang coming for John Pork's spotlight? And do that's- Yeah, and then you make the caption, the Tesla cyberbertruck. Yeah Why do they always do that? I've noticed that because it's all copy and paste shit from I think it's an ad It's ads. I think they're like getting paid to promo shit They're getting paid by Tesla to post John pork videos They might be Job works the future dude, I'm gonna start using John pork to promo my

shows. That's a good idea honestly. Yeah. I need something. I need some help. I need some help too. This is well this is it right here. This is the future. I need some help. This is the future. I hope this is good. I think it's been going great. This is way easier than I expected it to be. I thought was gonna be like, I thought I was yeah I thought I was gonna be sitting here being like so how's the weather in Austin? What's that like? It's really hot. Hey hi to can social tonics can social tonics spikes their seltzer with weed Each can is blended with five simple clean ingredients deliver the perfect buzz a buzz that doesn't backfire Can comes in three award-winning flavors,

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It's no fall. It's been nice here. It's in the 60s right now. Sweatshirt, jacket. I love that. Pants, long john johns smart wool socks That's a motherfucker that's the dice clay that's the best parties like Italian diners Thai food restaurants ass parties every night of the week in New York City

How are ya? That's the best one I think I'm gonna go full dice. I think I got I because I think stand-up is not really working out for me Just as like like joke writing I think I need a character You did do character. I think I got to go John pork on stage bring John for to the real life Just upstairs at the stand for 15 people just I need that grimace shake from Livy done John pork all my ribs for calm on raise

That shit would make me like really hard if somebody did that Fuck is going on if I just didn't break once and I just kept on just going through different John pork versus And that's some shit that would go on kill Tony And then Tony would be like, you had a golden ticket? Watch it bro. You know we don't speak bad about that show in this house. And then it would be like Rogan the next week, he'd be on his podcast, be like, you see this John Port guy on Kill Tony? I mean that guy's special.

I mean that's just like, you don't see that, you don't get that in New York and LA. You only get that down in Austin You seen this mood dang girl, she's killing it online I Ordered I ordered that haunt that uh that that kill Tony merch shirt with all of the killers on the front that that that kill Tony merch shirt with all of the killers on the front and I'm did you get yeah but I think it would be way better if like one of it was like if it was like Hans Kim Casey rocket and then just John pork right on the left right on the left body killers row dude you got to take it easy on that stuff. I know can we edit this out? We're not editing dick out

It's time for people to hear it's not really the truth. You draw the opinions of Harrison settle now, dude You love this shit I did see a weird clip of Rogan the other day talking about skippity and like all these weird- Was he really? Yeah, he was talking about skippity and grimace shake. I swear to God. It was him talking to someone else and they were like, I mean these kids, I don't understand

anything. He's like, you ever hear skippity? He's like I don't understand anything he's like you ever hear skippity is it going to know what that what is skippity mean I swear to God I'm trying to figure it out yeah you got this isn't for you this is for the fuse I'm sure he would appreciate if you sat him down and gave him a little like let me go through the lesson this is skippity this is is Skibbidy, this is John Pork. This is Riz. This is Riz. Riz is my least favorite. You don't like Riz?

Nah. Makes one of us brother. I'm Rizin, I'm Rizin, I'm Rizin on you. So you wanted to talk about, you texted me and said you wanted to talk about some politician. Oh yeah, I don't actually know if we should talk about that now.

Why? Let's get into it. George Soros' grandson, Simon. Did you know he's a New York stand-up comedian? I don't know if this is a good thing to talk about on the podcast. Yeah. He's at the cellar Really? Yeah, and his grandfather just so happened to to have to has have funded the past like

ten elections Democrat Democratic candidates for the past like forever George Soros wants to kill all the humans. He wants us to eat bugs. Well, I know George Soros, and yeah, I know he wants us to eat bugs. He wants us to all go down to Austin and just be, like you got a cricket on your sweatshirt,

you just pick it up and you just throw it in your mouth. Your supper time, yeah. And say, lunch, mm, mm. Well, you know that's because they're trying to take all the testosterone away from us. Yeah, they are. They want us to just be... They don't want us to be...

They just want us to be like... to be like... ladyboys. Yeah, that's... they want us to be sexy ladyboys. What is the correct term? Shim? What? Is she him? That's definitely not the correct term what's the correct term freak no transgender individual well that's not he she remember that when they use to say he she I was going

with femboy that's what I was looking for oh yeah that is a term femboys the femboys are big right now yeah I mean in New York City That's we've got only fanboys There's only a couple real boys in this the only living boy in New York City here looking at him right now Isn't that a Simon and Garfunkel song the only living boy in New York City. Yeah Is that a movie? Not a big Garfunkel head. I like Simon. What about Simon? Yeah, I like Simon. Was Garfunkel the one that was an asshole? I don't know. I don't know much about them

I was just trying to joke around. Yeah, the only living boy in New York. I need that skippity grimace shake from Levi. Dude, they should do a collab with John Pork. Simon and Garfunkel. Simon and Garfunkel? Featuring John's. That would break. You shouldn't have brought up Pork. I can't think about anything else once they bring it. I think it's Chinese brainwashing techniques, honestly. Dude, all of that shit is. I'm begging you to get off. I'm begging you to start setting a timer for your screen time. 30 minutes of Instagram a day. My screen time is okay. What's your screen time 30 minutes of Instagram a day my screen time is okay what's your screen time looking like I don't check it exactly because I'm too embarrassed of it but 10 hours 10 or 12 hours it could be 12 hours you're probably six

hours of John pork alone you fucking screen time is worse than mine not even close I'm never on my phone I take my phone I put it away as soon as I get You fucking screen time is worse than mine, bro. Not even close. I'm never on my phone. I take my phone, I put it away. As soon as I get home, as soon as I get back to like my peaceful, my den, my area, phone goes away. You ever have a teacher, you ever have a teacher that used to be like when I get at four o'clock my laptop goes off?

Like as if you would try to email a teacher like outside of school and they'd reply and be like, I don't reply to emails And it's like well, that's your job. It's the only thing you have to do. Mm-hmm. I need help with the homework Yeah, exactly dumb. I used to have a philosophy professor who would smoke a lot of cigarettes I thought he was so cool and he'd be like I don't use my email So if you want to ask me anything about the class you just have to come to my office He was trying to fuck the kids for sure probably yeah, he had a mattress in his office. Oh Yeah, he had like stacks of books in a twin-size mattress like up against the wall in his office

And he's that's weird as reading all day Dude, that was your thought your professor was p diddy that he have a bunch of fucking oil in his office too? A bunch of baby oil? Nah, a bunch of baby oil. A thousand bottles of baby oil? A thousand bottles of baby oil on the wall, a thousand bottles of baby oil, take one down. A thousand bottles of Big Earl? Big Earl on the wall. Baby Earl.

Man, I am on fire today. You are on fire. I was going just going deep cut internet references that no one will understand They're gonna be so mad that Francis and Rhone aren't here. Oh, yeah, they're gonna say this is Gen Z This is what you're gonna say. Oh my god skip But you know what is cool in like 30 years from now people probably watch this part. This is gonna be like Patrice and Burr You remember that uh that Harry Settle Sean Gardini podcast I gotta find I got that downloaded somewhere. I gotta go find that they talked they talked big Earl and Grimace shake for an hour They talked Big Earl and Grimace Shake for an hour. I don't really have anything else. I got my tooth fixed the other day.

Oh hell yeah. I got my chip fixed. Nice. Was that painful? Did you have to go to the dentist for that? Yeah I had to go to the dentist. Where else would I have gone? I don't know.

I haven't been to the dentist in a long time, and I really got to go It wasn't painful, but the hygienist was not working hard I was just choking on water the whole time Wow they have to like put a bond on it Yeah, it feels really weird because I'm not used to having that piece of tooth there, so I keep just touching it Oh, yeah, feeling weird about it anytime you get something done in your mouth you always just... Hey yo. Hey pause. Anytime I get something done in my mouth though my tongue is just fucking... my tongue gets curious you know. My tongue is always just scoping out the scene. I do have a curious tongue right now. Yeah.

I keep touching it and stuff. But it's nice. It costs me a shit ton of money. Which sucks. That does suck. Well not that much money but... You gotta pay out of pocket? You don't have a...

Yeah I don't have dental. No. Not even with the Matt & Shane's. I have health insurance but not dental insurance. You guys gotta get... Matt & Shane's needs to become like a real company And then you guys can you can get like benefits? Okay

I'll let him know pass that on pass that on say that's coming up from that's from New York. That's coming from New York It's coming from Harold. Yeah What? The dentist lady told me I looked like the kid from Spy Kids though when I was leaving. Spy Kids? Which one? Yeah, she said I looked like Juni from Spy Kids. Do you remember Juni? The little boy? Yeah, the little boy.

I don't think you look like him at all. I didn't really think so either, but I just went, oh yeah, yep, yep. What'd you say? Oh yeah, I get that all the time. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. I said, oh yeah, everyone's always saying that Everyone's always saying you look exactly like that dude from spy kids Yeah, the dentist was pretty though, so it made me nervous She probably was trying to fuck you Kind of seemed that way honestly did she have a mattress in her office too? Yeah, she did.

She said I looked like the kid from Spy Kids and I was like, easy baby, easy. Let's keep this relationship professional. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha having a mattress in his office. Yeah, I forgot about that. I can't even remember his name, but I remember he was like a Catholic, very Catholic, because I went to a Catholic college for my first year of college. Where'd you go? LaSalle University. And then where'd you go after that, Temple?

Temple University, yeah. I feel like that seems to be the move for everyone in like the Jersey, Philly area. You go somewhere for one year and then you transfer to Temple. Sometimes, they transfer to a lot of places. I grew up it was Rutgers Rutgers is the big school did you know mook in college I think he went to temple too no I didn't know mook in college and you guys are probably the same age right he's a

couple years old than me yeah I forgot that mooks's old as shit. Yeah, MOOC's 45. MOOC's an old head, dude. He's like 30. Yeah, he's an old... How old are you? You're like 25? 26? I'm 27. Oh! Could be my last year on this earth. Did you hear the record scratch? No.

I got the soundboard. About my age. now yeah I got the soundboard but all I've got my record scratch yeah I did the record scratch on rich it's on people really like the soundboard that's what's fun about doing these episodes cool well but you only have the record scratch I only have the record scratch loaded up right now. I used to have the bruh. That was a big hit We're gonna love it dude, there's been a banger. I mean we can end it in a minute because we're already at like 45. Wait a minute. Bro, dude 45 like that.

Time flies when you're having fun I guess. Easy. Let's rip a three hour. Let's rip a three hour. I got some more time. Let me get another iced coffee. Let me get another iced coffee and then we'll go for a couple more hours. The riffin' juice.

What's coming up for you bro talk to the people I gotta go to skunk feast tomorrow Yeah So I'm gonna lose a lot of money on football probably and take the you didn't want to take the Sprinter van down there No, what you heard about it. I saw Andy was posting it on his Instagram Yeah, Andy it they all took like a RV, but it's like 11 of them And they were like dude you're seriously not coming and I was like, bro, you're not all it's like five of my fattest friends on a RV 500, 400 pound dudes? Yeah

It's like, this sounds like the most uncomfortable ride ever That RV must smell insane Nate screwed it You know it smells crazy up in there motherfuckers And I love that, I'm sorry I called you guys fat if you hate us, I love you, you know I love you They're probably going to pop this on in the RV There's too many people They might watch this in the home stretch of the drive, They should be getting there any day, any, probably today.

How long of a drive is that? It's less than 24. It's like, I think, 18 hours or something like that. But they're stopping a lot. Why didn't they just, or I guess it's cheaper than flying if they have 11 dudes driving in one car. It's probably, what is it, $25 each to get there? Maybe. I don't know. But I already booked my flight, but Nate mailed on them, yes, Monday morning and they were leaving Monday afternoon.

Why do you bail? Because I'm not doing it. Yes, of course you wanted to fly. It's easier to fly. It's like a two hour flight. Are they driving back? No, I think some of them are driving back and some of them are flying back I know that feels like yeah, cuz that feels like something that would be fun Driving there being like Skankfest. Let's do it. And then the way they're just lost you're like, dude We have a 24-hour drive back. Yeah. Yeah, what the fuck did we do?

Yeah, I wouldn't it sounded so fun in theory and then when I found out that I Think literally 12 to 10 10 to 12 people are on one RV. I was like bros We're not gonna fit in the RV. I mean that's all my flight I saw Andy and LaMare on the RV and then it was like 10 other dudes that I didn't know Yeah, those are just the bros. They packed that shit out. I know it's too crowded I'm so bummed that I'm not going to skank fest. I I'm gonna get the most insane FOMO Yeah, I'm pretty bummed you're not going to everyone. I know is going Everyone family first though family first

God, I gotta go to a wedding, my cousin's wedding. Oh cool. Yep. Damn, how are you going to operate at the wedding? Are you trying to wrap it up or do you not want to get into the wedding stuff? Oh, I don't care if you talk about the wedding. It's a big wedding so I'm probably just going to sit in the corner with my dad and watch football.

Yeah, I Mean you talk about it's weddings on Saturday Alabama, Georgia, I don't really know like what am I gonna not watch that That's a that's a that's a title game right there just in the church Yeah, well wait is it Jewish? Is it a Jewish wedding? No Is it Jewish? Is it a Jewish wedding? No Cool yeah, let's give out some let's throw some picks. Let's throw some picks around and then we'll wrap it up All right. Well, I don't have any picks and I haven't won a single bit also

We got really got six right now we kind of got fucked I'm a little only 0 for 6 and I would Gabe Davis screwed us I know I feel bad he got hurt I know sorry Gabe sorry we scored a touchdown. I would have been so happy You would have paid for my whole tooth Bro, I got Gabe hanging up right here. I Can't I was gonna almost just ripped him off the wall, but then I forgot that he's hung up with a sticky Sticky tack. Sticky tack. Yeah, that was gonna be a big one.

That was a good bet. What I'm scoping is, there's one game that I was looking at that I was really just foaming at the mouth over. Really just salivating. Oh, Eagles bucks. That's a good game. That's because that's that's who knocked you guys. That's who knocked you guys out of the playoffs. Yeah last year.

Yeah, that was tough. Oh, Baker Baker Baker's the choice. Oh, you don't like bake. How do you not like Baker Mayfield? I mean, I like Baker, but he beat my boys. Patriots 49ers the the 49ers are a 10-point favorite. Take Patriots to cover that. Let's take Patriots to cover. I like that. Niners are really bad they're plagued with

injuries right now. I know dude you see that McCaffrey's in fucking Germany right now. McCaffrey's retired. Dude McCaffrey's in Germany right now trying to figure out his calf problem. And they're still saying it's a minor injury. And it's like, dude, you don't go to fucking Germany if it's a minor injury. McCaffrey has Nazi scientists working on his calf. Yeah. We'll be back in four weeks.

I have to go to Argentina to get a specific medical treatment. They're literally doing experiments on his leg. Oh shit, Bill's Raven Sunday night. specific medical treatment. They're literally doing experiments on his leg. Oh, shit. Bill's Raven Sunday night. That's a banger. I like that. I like it. James Cook first TV. I like that. Oh, but Derek Henry, Derek Henry first, he is intriguing as well.

James Cook first, he CDs plus 850 though. That's fun. That's playful. That's playful. You know what I also like Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson to score. The battle of the quarterbacks. That's going to be a QB battle. I'm looking at plus 575 parlayed.

Yeah, that's tasty. I'm looking and I'm like on that's playful. That's playful. That's playful wager. What else do we got? What's the Thursday game this week? I don't know I think it's Giants Cowboys. Oh The cowgirls that actually might be a good game to be honest. The Cowboys fucking suck this year. I Don't want to be though I don't want to be the one to say it, but the NFL kind of is uh... You said the NFL is washed this year. The NFL is kind of washed, dude. Yeah, I hear that.

I mean it's... The NFL is kind of washed. I'm still enjoying watching the games, but it's like all the teams that are supposed to be good suck. And the Patriots still suck. Well, that's good. But like if the Chiefs win the Super Bowl again, I'll just kill myself. Yeah, really really.

Putting me to sleep with this fucking- With this ball talk? No, I'm sorry, I got the yawns, but uh- All good, bro. All good. I'll just wrap this up solo. I'll just finish this one off by myself. The Chiefs tick me off. The Chiefs enrage me The birds are pretty bad

The birds are pretty bad, but we just need AJ to heal up. Well, did you guys is Devante? Smith is he out? I'm not sure I haven't looked it up yet, but he was Last week's game cuz he got fucking Dallas Goddard put that shit on his back. Dallas Goddard was so good. He played football for the first time all season. He was unreal. He literally had, he had like two receptions all year

until that game. Yeah, he played, he had a really good game. I think it's probably, I think the Bills might win the Super Bowl. I'd like, dude, a Bills Eagles Super Bowl would be so sick. Mmm. Yeah, that would, um, you know, I gotta take the birds. Yeah, I had a feeling. That would be a fun watch.

That would be a fun watch. Anything without the Chiefs. Yeah, I just don't, I don't like the Chiefs. I don't like the Chiefs. Dude, a lot of people talk shit people talked shit so I so this is all I'll wrap it up after this but so in the spring I Said that Trevor Lawrence He looks so bad. I said that he was fucking game on my phone I was getting so mad yeah, thank you the comedy club, dude

I said that he sucked and that he was gonna be a bust this year. I had Hundreds of DMS for people saying you don't know anything about football Trevor Lawrence is the future of football here We are they're putting Mac Jones in they lose by what 30 points to the bills and then I said that I accidentally drafted Travis Kelsey on my fantasy team because I accidentally selected autopick and People were saying that I was an idiot for saying that Travis Kelsey's not good anymore And here we are Travis Kelsey has like what 30 yards over three games dude is rinsed Spent too much time spent too much time trying to be all Hollywood and now he's not good at football anymore

That's why he's never gonna surpass Gronk Gronk's the greatest of all time go Pat's rock is awesome I love watching Gronk highlights on my phone Gronk's a beast My homes is never gonna be Brady and Travis Kelsey's so far away from ever being Gronk Travis goes is gonna retire after the season The proof is in the pudding and we'll wrap it up there. This is a good podcast. Well that's the Sass Football Minute. Thank you for joining us on the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Anything you want to plug? No I don't really got anything going on. No dates. No dates coming up? Unfortunately. SeanGardini.com. If I do have some dates. That's where they're gonna be go see Sean on the road

Dear God, I love you guys so much. I just love and Harry, you know, I love you brother. Of course, bro It's all love. It's all love set. We're sending that right back. We're sending that right back from New York I'm gonna be in Baltimore In a couple weeks and then Rochester and Burlington as well, which you were supposed you could have come to that but you bailed Well that you guys really I don't want to hear I don't want to hear it. It's so close for you guys Country to get it's actually not even it's a fucking seven-hour drive or some shit. It's so I drove up there I drove up there pretty recently how far was it I went to Killington and it was like five that's

not terrible all right all right well that has been the podcast bye thank you goodbye I do.