Son of a Boy Dad - Lil Sas Gets His Friends Stolen | Son of a Boy Dad #173

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

Lil Sas Gets His Friends Stolen | Son of a Boy Dad #173 -- Francis catches Rone up on their weekend in Denver -- Ad: Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at https://harrys.com/BOYDAD. -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Here we go, Son of a Boy Dad. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is a day. I don't know what today is. What is it?

Oh, it's the 12th. It's February 12th, and we are here. Oh, I'm going to drink that. So appreciate it, though. I casually saw an email from Dave today asking if anyone drinks energy drinks. Drinks energy drinks. I do. Drinks energy drinks?

Drinks energy drinks. I do. We're here live from HQ3, and the Chiefs are Super Bowl champions once again. How's that fucking taste? Terrible. Yeah? Yeah. Good.

I mean, I don't know why you're so excited about it. Why wouldn't I be? Because you guys lost against the Chiefs last year in the Super Bowl. I would be furious. I dislike the Niners, and you dislike the Chiefs. You don't dislike the Chiefs at all? Why would I dislike the Chiefs? Because they beat you in the Super Bowl last year.

Yeah, but they didn't talk a bunch of shit the way that the 49ers did. The Niners were nasty fucking. That's because you guys tried to kill their quarterback. That's what football is, brother. I think I could recommend some sports that are more to your liking, like figure skating maybe. A non-contact sport where people are just judged based on how tight their tights are. You guys are the ones that are mad because they got mad that you guys tried to murder their quarterback.

Oh, I got mad because they got mad. Yes. I didn't get mad because they got mad. Yes, you literally just said you don't like them because they talk shit. I'm rooting against them. I get that, but I feel like you should be rooting against the Chiefs as well.

Why would I root against them? I mean, you can't root against both teams. You have to root against one team more. Just bet on the under. I mean, did the under hit? Oh, yeah, it hit by one, right? Yeah.

Because they missed that extra point. Well, I don't like the Chiefs because I'm not happy they haven't changed their name and that they continue to appropriate from the First Peoples, also known as... the chiefs because um i'm not happy they haven't changed their name and that they continue to uh appropriate from the first peoples also known as uh the indigenous nations those of red skin like i have a rate a rosy complexion and have always felt on behalf of those of a more rosy tint

no the native americans would have seen you and fallen to their knees oh dude they would have been would they know they would have been like he's a god they would have been like take our land and i would have been like is there oil because if there's not i'm out of here yeah you would have been in you would have been the finding fossil fuels before they knew there were dinosaurs i liked that the redskins changed their name, and I don't understand how it stopped there. Did you see the... Why haven't the Chiefs and the Indians... I truly, I don't know.

I mean, Redskin is like a nastier term than Chief. Chief is like an exalted... But people get mad when you say Chief, don't they? Or at least that happens in, what's that movie? Office Space? No, the one with Christopher Walken. Where he's like, hey, Chief, what's up, Chief? space no the one with christopher walk-in where he's like hey chief fuck them i don't know you're talking i don't know thinking of selma now now are you thinking of uh it's like seven something not seven the movie and it's not seven samurai seven maybe it is

seven samurai seven uh seven nights in tibet i think it is seven samurai i think that's the movie i'm thinking of how about that have you guys seen that i don I think it is Seven Samurai. I think that's the movie I'm thinking of. How about that? Have you guys seen that kid? I don't think it's Seven Samurai either. The kid who got accused of wearing blackface earlier in the season, and he was like a half-painted chief's face. And was of First People's character. And he's indigenous.

Yes. And he's actually indigenous. Yeah. He came back to the... He was at the game last night. Really? Yeah. And this time he was in full blackface. Seven Psycho-C indigenous. Yeah. He came back to the, he was at the game last night. Really? Yeah, and this time he was in full blackface. Seven psychopaths. Whoa.

His dad left the family, or? Yeah, his dad left. I don't know which parent was, but. I think it was his dad was indigenous. Do you know what I'm talking about, Seth? The kid that was in half blackface? Yeah. Yeah.

But it was like, he was in, it was Native American. Yeah, yeah. Tribal drift, and he was Native American. Yeah. He was at the game last night. They did Native American. Yeah, yeah. Tribal drift. Was it? He was Native American. Yeah. He was at the game last night. They did him dirty. No, he was at the game last night. He came back.

Well, yeah, and obviously they had to. Yeah. After what they did, after those photos they took of him. No, but he was in white, yellow, and red. He wore not an ounce of black. Yeah, I'm sure. That kid was held up by like conservative media outlets. Yeah, big time as a

as like just as the kid who do you remember the kid who on the footsteps of the capital speaking of first peoples oh yeah who like stood in that guy's face the guy's face and then a lot of people were like fuck this kid and then the full context was that he that the guy came up to him yeah he was just standing there and he's like, I don't know what to do. You're playing the drums in my grill. Oh, I totally forgot about that entire thing. It's like a snake charmer. He just locked him down.

He's drumming in his face. But that kid did have... It was an obnoxious smirk that that kid had on his face for sure. But he's not in the wrong for being a 13-year-old and just have a resting face like that. That's just how 13-year-olds are. Dude, that was such a big deal. I totally forgot about that. I think have a resting face like that. That's just how 13 year olds are. Dude, that was like such a big deal.

I totally forgot about that. I think he won his defamation case. Yeah? Yeah. I think so. Against whom? Might have been Washington Post. Really?

Might need to double check that. Fucking Jeff Bezos. Diego, could you just check and see against which primary media outlet that child won that case? That's going to be such a detailed search. Yeah, that's going be such a detailed yeah it's gonna be a tough that's gonna be a tough find just google exactly what i said it was seven psychopaths that's the

movie oh that's supposed to be quite good it's great never saw it phenomenal movie i don't even know what maybe bring that movie up what were we talking about christopher walken oh he called he calls another dude chief i don't know different i'm not even thinking of the same movie it's a different movie but it's with the same guy it's uh that high fucking cry i'm just gonna stop talking i can't spend the whole podcast trying to figure out titles of movies i know you don't have a scene that i'm looking for just abandoning the conversation we're in yeah just to try yeah what was it time to fall back on that you know who doesn't have this problem is Lights to Camera Barstool. No, not at all.

They know every movie. They don't ever sit around being like, what's that one with- That should be their whole podcast. All of them just immediately know exactly which movie they're referencing. And they're like fucking Michael Fassbender. Just naming actors and shit like that. I can't stop looking at what's going on with your fucking shoe right now what it's it's gaping yeah i know there's so much fucking

space between it i'm not trying to give you a hard time because i know you get all upset when people give you a hard time but that shit's that shit's egregious but i do i get upset when people give me a hard time you can't you're you're a You're a dish it but not can't take it guy. Not even close. Not even. You are. What? You are.

That's what's happening right now. No. You're a dish it but can't take it guy. Okay. How's that? Like, the Eagles lose, and you, like, cry yourself to sleep every night, and then if someone says, and then if another team loses, you fucking dish it. Wait, but how is it taking you if my team loses?

Bro, you don't take it well. I'm a take it but can't dish it guy. I am a bottom when it comes to verbal abuse. You're a glutton for it. I take it. I was born this way. I have no problem. It feels better to me.

Yeah, you kind of lean into it. You're just very open to it. I have to this way. I have no problem. It feels better to me. Yeah, you kind of lean into it. You're just very open to it. I have to dish it. It's like a defense mechanism. Yeah, that's what I was saying. You're defensive. But I can take it as well. But I'm not sure I can take it.

What would you say for me? Nothing. Dish it or take it or can't take it? Dish it? Nothing. Dish it or take it or can't? I don't know. You're dish it or take it or can't i don't know you're making it very confusing for me do i dish it but i can't take it in your opinion no i think you can

take it that's good to hear i appreciate it yeah i can't believe you said about roan though i think he's got a pretty good thick skin thin as hell really thinner red thin as you could possibly imagine red like me yes so thin that you could see the blood coursing through his veins. The first thing that's been called thin about me recently. I'm at my heaviest of my lifetime right now. Really? How is that possible? You don't look heavy at all.

You're in the gym every morning. I'm at my literal heaviest. I'm 190 pounds right now. Wow. That's not that bad. You wear it well. I'm 230 right now. It was just thin. Let me see that bad. You wear it well. I'm 230 right now. It was a spin.

Let me see your ass. No. Actually, you're starting to lose the alcohol weight. No, I'm gaining it all back. How? In worse ways, because now I'm just unhealthy. Yeah, that's true. How was Denver?

Great. He said you went to a vodka bar or something. It was so fun. Went to some Russian vodka place. It was a thing where it was almost well not that you ever really drank vodka you were always a beer guy but uh i wished that in that moment that you could have sort of hit the pause button on your sobriety i don't think that was the moment it was the entire weekend you guys were sitting around me being

like just drink just drink i don't know why you're not drinking it was not that was like the last moment of the whole weekend it was the last time i saw it was literally the second i walked in the green room francis like i'm gonna get you a beer we're gonna drink we're gonna black out tonight no i didn't say that oh dude it was like i didn't say black 3v1 being like drink just have one drink just have one we want to have one you can just have one we wanted to teach we wanted to teach him to drink moderately this is like and for the record it's it's your two best friends from your life that were also part of you were turning them against me no i wasn't they they they were like finally we're glad that someone has has vocalized everything the whole time they've been like good dude yeah yeah you definitely should that's bullshit and then francis comes around and they're like no way no he's right you should drink no way that's true oh i swear to

god no way you swear to god but maybe it was healthy for you it's like that wasn't drinking until this weekend they had a whole bunch of reasons waiting so like when i was like oh and by the way yeah i'm sure they've had some they clearly had some thoughts about it it was a get off their chest i thought it was actually a thoughtful discussion where when you vocalized why you weren't drinking i said fair enough i'm sold i'm not gonna bother you about this again oh i don't think which was the first time that you had actually taken the time not that i deserve an explanation but you know i didn't know what had happened as a friend yeah as a touring road comedian who you co-headlined with. Yeah. You also had never said, like, you've always been like, I don't know, maybe I'll drink again.

Maybe I will. See, but if you say that, then I want you to with me. I think it's just easier than being like, I'm never drinking again. Than being like, maybe. Do you think that makes people try and get you to do it more? Or do you think, which one do you think would make people try and do it more? If you're like never again and people are like, oh yeah,

I can flip him. Well, Bo was like, yeah. Like how girls try and fuck a gay guy? Bo was like, well, what about at one of our weddings?

And I was like, dude, I didn't know, you're planning like 15 years down the road. I thought you were going to say like when a gay guy keeps trying to flip a straight guy, which happens to me all the time. Really?

And let me tell you, all these guys that I meet at the farmer's market, you guys need to learn your lesson because I am not. You're unflippable? I am not coming back to that area ever again. Coming back? What? What? No. I can't go back.

It was too much fun. All right right maybe maybe someday but it is easier to say because that wouldn't be a flip but that would be exactly like what sass is talking about like you used to take dick and now you're like i'm off of the dick i won't have any more dick the problem for me was that as soon as i had one dick i would have i'd be out till seven in the morning chugging dicks i mean i'd be like oh and then i would wake up the next day and be like oh i'm never gonna dick again what did i do last night do you think sober guys go on just ravenous dick journeys and you know how like in the gay community cheating is not that big of a thing but do you think all those guys who are just like

is that true i'm not 100 percent i feel like that's just got to be a wild assumption. It's like they're all French. Not an assumption. They're French people, all of them. They're just more, yeah, I guess I could see it. I don't know how true it is. Should we get in our, should we call it a recent gain? I feel like if you're a gay dude who's married,

I'm assuming cheating is probably a big deal. I don't know. I think everyone has different concepts. I think that my guess is that there's just a little bit more acceptance of open open openness yeah a hundred percent the gay couples some of the gay couples i know will have they'll hook up with other people but usually when their partner is their presence involved yeah it's like they it's like that song uh that john legend song

it's like i stay strapped up when i sleep around that kind of like, I stay strapped up when I sleep around. That kind of thing. You just stay strapped up when you sleep around. I don't know what that means. Wear a condom. Oh, I thought you meant he just had a condom with him. Is that John Denver? John Legend. Oh, because he had a great, I'm not going to bury the bit,

but he had a great joke about John Denver this weekend. Totally. Similar to what you said. What? Yeah. No. I guess, yeah. Totally. Similar to what you said. What? Yeah. No. I guess, yeah. Shut up.

You know you did. You were like, I'm going to get the tape of that. You know that was a good bit. Not that I'm familiar with. Biggest laugh of the whole weekend right here. Let's just put it out

on the Boy Dad socials then. Let's put it out on the Boy Dad socials. Francis, why don't you grab a clip of that? We'll put it out on the Boy Dad social. Bingo.

I will. I actually do need to get that. I'll just have to pay them $50. I'm going to text my team. Yeah. I'm going to have to contact my team and get their hands on that. I took the key to the condo with me by accident. That's not good.

Not good. Yeah. That's never getting back. That's coming out of your expenses for sure. It's half the paycheck. So do you get paid for the show and you have to pay Francis or do they pay each of you No, we get paid separately. Separately.

Yeah. Got it. Separately. Yeah. Got it, got it, got it. There was a weird thing though where we got a different deal on like the travel buyout. I didn't get one and Francis got one and we have the same agent. So that's a little odd. No, I think what happened, here's what happened. I told my manager, I said, I don't need, I'm not going to, I'm renting a car, so I'm not going to need Ubers to and from. And they, because normally they will expense you for Ubers.

Yeah, yeah. And he goes, if that's true and you don't need the Ubers, then maybe you'll get back a little bit more for your travel buyout. Interesting. Which I think is how that happened. But that, even what I'm saying doesn't make sense to me. No, because I didn't take any Ubers. But you didn't tell them that. I didn't specify that, no.

What was the disparity in the cost? How much money? $190. Is that right? I believe so. Really? Yes. That's more than my car rental.

Fantastic. Actually, I filled up gas. It's close. Your car rental was less than $190 for the whole weekend? Three days, yeah. How? I got a shit car. Yeah, you take the Kia that they give you. It was $150 for three days.

And then there were some that were like $25 a day. Zip cars, like $190 for like five hours. That's in New York, so New York is nasty. But did you guys both get rental cars no I just was with Beau

so I just used his car I just drove the whole weekend dude we spun out like crazy one night it was snowing the whole time

who was driving Beau Beau's drunk ass no on the way to the show on Saturday did I even tell you about that

no we drifted we were driving and it was snowing it was very very slick streets and we were driving and we're coming up there's like a red light and they're stopped and it was like you go to stop and you start you're not stopping and you're just getting closer to the car and for some reason both thought it'd be a good idea to pull the emergency brake up oh that's cool and then we just did a complete right angle turn and then we're just drifting going straight towards them sideways and it was hilarious

because it was just the car was just completely silent there was zero reaction to it at all it was like we were made a conversation and then we all just stopped talking as we watched ourselves getting closer to this car because you can't scream when you're with your boys no but it was like dude just dead like not a single i was actually in my head i was curious i was like i wonder if we're really gonna hit this car right now like we were going so slow that i had enough time to like consider i was like am i gonna get hurt from this because i knew i wasn't gonna die because it was like a very small we were going very slow but i was kind of curious i was like i wonder if this like window is gonna shatter all over me in a second and then he put the emergency brake down and we

instantly we instantly went back to straight and stopped so was he right doing what he did or did he like fuck up no he fucked up what made him think that that's what the emergency he was like he was like well i pumped the brakes tokyo drift yeah yeah he was like well i pumped the brakes and then it didn't work so I pulled the emergency brake. And the amount of time that he pumped the brakes must have been less than a millisecond

because as soon as we started drifting, he pulled the emergency brake up. Damn. Did your heart rate increase? Did you feel like climbing just in your hands? No, probably slowed down.

I've never been more calm in my entire life. Yeah. Start like lowering the window so you can crawl out. I think I was smiling looking out the window just being like like here we go

Just bracing for impact Finally the sweet release I got to spend the weekend Getting to know Sass's best friends So I've met Matt before I've never met Bo I met Bo and I can tell you

Without a shadow of a doubt That Bo is real. And how is he? He's amazing. Really? He's a real person. He's absolutely fantastic. I loved him.

I loved him. What was Bo's report card on Francis? It was just like the glaze fest of the century, dude, between them two. They like each other? It was literally just them two just being like, wow, you're fascinating. No, you're fascinating. The whole weekend. that's amazing we really hit it off i mean he's amazing that's like so i spent some time in kenya last no where where at i was just there a couple weeks he's going he went he's going nairobi or unlike he's he's like he's like oh my great immigration

my friend of mine this girl i know works there and i'm like oh are you guys dating and he's like no she's just my friend i'm like you went to africa with a woman that you're not romantically involved with that is what a modern man that is that's cool that's like what out of africa the robert redford merrill street movie's about dude i don't think i could travel more than 10 to 20 miles with a woman unless i was at least i like how fingering is the thing too i'm just thinking like the distance i mean another continent it's gotta be anal it's gotta be she's got friends that might be coming that's a lot to buy in for. I like how it wasn't a sexual act is happening to you.

Yeah, you're just, you're pleasing them. That's how Beau and Frances operate, though. They're modern men. They are. Yeah. They're generous lovers and fingerers. I travel across the land to finger a girl. Is there a chance that- To please her.

She needs it. Yeah. Otherwise- Duty calls. She gets ornernery it keeps her at a nice baseline sweet release is there a chance that you guys kind of uh you know take the string and close the circle and sass is on the outside of it so i as they were trying to do there was there was a moment where i started to think we need to we need to back off because this is happening yeah and it's like an affair yeah and you know because we were all having a lot of fun together we were

just so one of those you you bow and matt me bow matt um or m m mbm as we called ourselves me bow matt and uh after the shows we would go out we went to this Irish pub that was a disaster why oh yeah that was terrible why what's wrong with the Irish pub we just met we met up with someone that we went to high school with and they brought all their friends and it was like they were like the most like more drunk than I've ever seen like I didn't know you were capable of getting that drunk and then some dude like drank Francis's beer dude i ordered a full uh guinness it was crazy and i took one sip and then uh someone was like we should do some shots and i was like cool i'll go get them so i left my beer at the table i get up go to the bar to order the shots it takes a while i come

back with the shots when i get back all of these new little kids have no we got taken over it wasn't even just like Francis. It was like we were all sitting at this table, and within 30 minutes, none of us were sitting at the table, and we got fully boxed out. Like when you see larvae eating an apricot. We were fully taken over. Fruit flies circling a basket of peaches. They were unbelievably annoying, and they were now sitting in the table table and this one dude was drinking my beer it was so funny drunk it so quickly too yeah as a sober friend you gotta stop that i was in the

bathroom shots back four people and i go what where what happened to my beer and he goes no way yeah everyone i assumed it was fine cuz that girl took a sip they were passing it around they ran a train on your dentist they were passing it around it was like the most like chaotic 30 minutes I've had in a while I thought it was cool cuz that girl did yeah you should have

beat the shit out of these you should have done a main chest kick I thought it was about to break into violence. Ultimate Karma. They were the ones that ended up taking the shots because our group didn't even really want them. And then we went to get food a little bit later. Now it's like 1.30 in the morning. When we come out of the food place,

which by the way was a weird Cajun New Orleans... We were eating gumbo. Yeah, Francis got gumbo at 2 in the morning. Not a good choice. It was great. It was delicious. Yeah, actually it was pretty good. But we walked out were eating gumbo. Yeah, Francis got gumbo at two in the morning. Not a good choice. Oh my God. No, it was great. It was delicious.

Yeah, actually it was pretty good. But we walked out of the gumbo place and we saw that same guy who had drunk my beer and he was taking his coat off in the snowy streets of Denver. It was a blizzard. It was literally like, it was a blizzard outside. And placing it on the shoulders of a shivering hovering crouched girl one of the other girls the girl that drank that had drank my beer because i think she was throwing up in the streets so the two of them i mean when you mix a guinness with shots you have to be like a steel

bellied red-faced irish 60 year old to be able to do some shit like that like it's not it was very that was another scenario where we both just we all just walked. We all got silent and then just walked by them and didn't say anything. We saw them and they were. It was like three inches of fresh snow on the ground and they're like rolling around in it. And this kid's wearing short sleeves and it's like 10 degrees outside. That's literally how you die. Yeah. And we just walked directly by them.

Didn't say anything. Yes. But one couldn't help but wonder if he hadn't offered his jacket because he was actually quite jacked. He was ripped. And wanted everyone, even in the bitter cold, to see how strong his arms were. Yeah. And then Bo was going through a workout phase, so he's like, I don't even think he's that strong. He's always comparing himself to other people.

I don't even think he's that strong. That's so Bo. He's like, I don't even think he's that strong.'s so Bo he's like I don't even think he's that strong I think he's just like he just does curls all the time I was like dude that guy would beat

the fuck out of you so easily this guy's biceps were like this big and he just and they were like he had like tribal tattoos

on his arms yeah he did yikes where did they all go but he also looked like a bitch at the same time it's hard to describe it was just this little boy i could see it

some some tattooed men just uh it is crazy they try to tattoo their way out of being a bitch it's crazy how fucked up people get to go to the late shows every weekend dude i was in the bathroom before the late show started the last night and this i i take a piss in the in the urinal and i get out and there's a kid in the stall and he goes yo sass i've got you on ketamine if you need any and i was like dude in what scenario am i taking ketamine before going up on stage or having a beer yeah that's ben mintz sober yeah it's like i won't have a beer but i'll do some ketamine let's do some ketamine and then they were like and then we talked to those guys after the show, and they were like, yeah, we saw Big J a couple months ago.

We sat front row, and we took Molly and Mushrooms before the show. I was like, dude, how is that even enjoyable, to take Molly and Mushrooms before a comedy show? Just sit still and get roasted by a crowd work. Especially Big J, who's a crowd work comedian. You're front row, and you're just on Molly, and he's like, so are you guys, like that would suck. You think Colorado went overboard with the drugs?

Yeah. Have they legalized pretty much everything? Are they like that? No, that's only like Washington and Oregon. Yeah. And they deeply regret it out there. Oh, yeah. Do they?

Yes. I think Seattle is supposed to be like a fucking mess right now there was a journal episode about how like all even like the most liberal people in portland completely regret the uh the amount of like legalizing heroin yeah heroin that's on the streets and like it's just like you get a ticket and there's no repercussions if you don't pay the ticket so like people will roll up the ticket and smoke it in front of the officer that gives it to them. Wow, that's crazy. It's like full nasty lawlessness. Yeah, Portland, it's all legal too, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Like everything's basically decriminalized. I don't know. It's crazy. I wonder if Colorado's the same. Colorado is a fucking weird state, dude. People give Florida all this shit

for being a weird state. I think Colorado's up there. They got the drugs. They got up there. They got the drugs. They got the guns. They got the shootings. They have everything going on in Colorado. It's like the New Hampshire of the West. I was literally just going to say New Hampshire.

Because New Hampshire, you go to New Hampshire and you go to these ski resorts. And you're like, wow, what a beautiful state. But then they're like malicious. And you leave the ski resort and you're like, wow, this is bad. This is a really bad state. They're trying to kidnap the governor. What the hell? Does everyone is on heroin as soon as you leave the ski resort?

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. And I know there's a lot of tings in Denver, but- Most tings per capita. Are there black people? Not that I am aware of. No. It's like J.R. Smith and K.K. Martin. Yeah.

I don't believe I saw any the entire time we were there. No, we're there. I don't think there no we're there i don't think there are no i don't think i'm truly truly trying to remember i don't think i saw a single person i don't know the whole time i don't know it was snowing they would stand out they would stand out yeah they were there was none there's none right um i will say i'm this is a total turn i am not, nothing I'm saying was triggered by us talking about black people I was in a 7-Eleven and there was a homeless

guy who was not black of course not, you're in Denver I was getting snacks because I was about to drive out to Vail and it was late after the show and I was buying a bunch of snacks and the cashier i know sass already knows the story but you went to veil yeah he was available the first night to do what

ski ski really my friend's family has a house out there so i drove out after the first show late on thursday that's why you got the shitty rental car yeah did you bring your skis no okay got it i just borrowed theirs so you're in the 7-eleven i'm in this 7-eleven it's probably 9 30 and the cashier is this young acne pock marked guy central casting greasy hair yeah but stringy kind of whatever maybe maybe 1920 and behind me i've seen i've been i've been going along the aisles next to this homeless guy who's i think drunk fucked up of some in some way but he's not ill-kept he's he's not so far gone like he had a home recently he was home he's fresh to the streets at one point yes but he might even still have one temporary housing yeah yeah like maybe one of the walls fell down yeah it's exposed lean to a three

wall exposure he's got a three wall deal and he calls it he's like well it's a little drafty you're like dude it's time to abandon ship there's asbestos take it to the 7-eleven yeah so uh he's in the 7-eleven and uh i get i'm the guy's ringing me up you know string cheese uh fucking doritos you know chocolate milk literally and uh you were high no i just that's what i get when i go to 7-eleven i become a child and when you go on a long drive, you just get the worst shit ever. Yeah. And then I also got some trail mixes as if that was my vegetable that was going to interact all the nonsense. The full food pyramid.

So he's ringing me up quickly, but he's not keeping any eye on me. He's looking over my shoulder. And he scans the last item and goes, just tap there. shoulder and he scans the last item and goes just tap there and then he kind of steps very quickly out from behind the counter and walks right over to the homeless guy who had a green jansport backpack and he he grabs the bag and he goes i see what you put in there and he opens it up and the guy goes those were already in there and there's like three bags of chips a bunch of like yeah iced teas and things like that clanking around and the guy goes no they weren't and he takes him out and he like you know puts him on the counter whatever and he goes get out of my store or he goes he like walks into the door

with like his hand on his coat collar like he's the principal or something and he he says and he kind of kicks him out and he he leans out the door into the street as the homeless guy started walking away and he goes i never come back to my store he called it his store i'm like dude this is a 7-eleven it's one of the biggest national franchises your store you think this is mom and pops Is he like Mr. 11 the 7th He's like part of the lineage of 7-11 And stay out Mr. 11th

Well like what would make him Mr. 11 the 7th What would make him so Protective over the Things in the store Why do guys like that care like do you think that like his boss at the 7-eleven's reviewing camera and being like hey this guy stole you're supposed to protect this house like it's fucking under armor question i mean i you know you see people

in like gucci and chanel not even lifting a finger or batting an eye as people are coming in and stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars of merchandise and yet this guy was protecting you know funyuns with his life and i frankly i admire it uh you know if we're trying to reinstate law and order of some way it starts at 7-11 that is the ground zero for avoiding the state of nature into which this nation is falling. What are the states where it's like you're allowed to just go in? California. Yeah, that shit is crazy.

What is that again? Where they just go in. There'll be videos of dudes walking in all shy steed up and they just grab fucking, they just go straight for the drills. They just grab 30 drills and just run out of the store. At a hardware store? Yeah, they'll go into Lowe's and just steal a shit ton of stuff and leave. Some are not even shy-seed up. Some are barefaced, looking square at the camera, hoping facial recognition catches them.

Because now it's like, what's the law? It's like if you don't steal over $500 worth of shit. You get a hotel room in New York. You get three hots in the cot. It's the dream. Yeah, I truly don't understand it, but it shouldn't be on the skinny-ass kid. Like, if 7-Eleven cares that much,

put an overweight security guard out front like every other business. Yeah. With, like, his fucking ass hanging out of his fucking blue pants with a black shirt. Yeah. Just slop fest.

Okay, guys, let's take a second and talk about Harry's. Sometimes you get what you want, and sometimes you have to challenge the status quo and blaze your own trail. You know who also challenged the status quo? Harry's. I thought you were going to say Martin Luther King. He did, but alsory's did as well but you know i think of them kind of in the same the same category they saw customers getting

ripped off by questionable products in the shaving industry and decided to do something better instead of changing the same charging the same old ridiculous prices harry's found their own way to make beautifully designed razors at a fraction of the price of other big brands. Exceptional products, honest prices, that's Harry's. And we just got some

fresh Harry's products. Francis, from what I understand, that's how you just shaved your beautiful beard. I had a really good beard going. Sass was making fun of me for it. That's not true at all.

Francis asked me multiple times throughout the weekend. He said, what do you think about my beard? And I said, I think it looks great. I care about your opinion about my face. And I said, that looks great. No, but you then told me today after I shaved it that you couldn't tell the difference between when it was there and when it wasn't.

Well, yeah, but that's because you got rid of it. I wouldn't have done that when you had it. Well, that's because you used German engineered blades made in their own factory to stay sharp and that makes Harry's shave an unbeatable value. Harry's also has customizable delivery options, scheduled refills for as low as $2, half of what you pay for other big brands, get a five-blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel,

and a travel cover for just $3 at harrys.com. Don't settle for the status quo. Blaze your own trail with Harry's. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash boydad. That's harrys.com slash boydad for a $3 trial set. All righty, let's talk about game time.

Game time. Game time. Game time. You should not have to worry when you're buying tickets to the next big event. Game time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you.

I'm about to go to the Bucks game tomorrow night, and I will be using game time. Game time. Last minute tickets, flash deals, zone deals. Easy way to find and buy tickets for every kind of event in your area. Lowest price guaranteed as well. Lowest price guaranteed. Game time is the only ticket app that gives you complete peace of mind with your purchase. I also saw tickets for a Francis Ellis show on there. I did as well. Lowest price guaranteed. GameTime is the only ticket app that gives you complete peace of mind with your purchase. I also saw tickets for a Francis Ellis show on there.

I did as well. And I will be using them. And I will be using GameTime to buy tickets to that. See the view from your seat before you buy so you know exactly what to expect when you arrive. I actually very much enjoy that feature. All in prices. Well, because you never know.

Is there going to be a massive pillar in the way? Is there going to be a pillar in front of me? Big bald man. Big old bald guy. Big bald guy. They'll let you know if there's going to be a big bald man. Exactly. All in prices.

Show your total up front so you know you're getting a great deal without hidden fees. Buy tickets in seconds with just two taps. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off. Download GameTime today.

Last-minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. I've done this game before maybe even on with you guys but what if you could just shoplift with impunity one store what would it be those uh apple goggles look fucking sweet i was gonna say an apple store is a good answer have you seen the video of the dude that the dude that they just posted like shoplifting the apple store and he's just ripping the things out yeah i saw that yeah but they don't go right no they go oh yeah oh so he has superhuman strength he literally like you're starting a battle yeah yeah that's literally what he was doing like a logging competition boat going yeah he was snapping the i've never seen uh uh an apple phone charger snap that easily

well it's not it's not the phone he must have done like smelling salts before going in there. It's like metal wiring. Like those shits are wired the fuck in. It's not just a phone charger that he's snapping. Like you have to be superhuman strength. Dude, he had like the angle like mastered. Yeah, he was good at it. He was literally, it would just be like one,

and three phones are off the thing. That's kind of fucking sweet. It was awesome. He's just freeing them. He's liberating them. It was sort of satisfying, actually. I mean, what's Apple's profits? They're doing pretty well.

I think they're doing solid, yeah. I saw some statistic. I don't know exactly what it said, but it was that the AirPods alone outsell the next uh companies that like entire phones it's like when they say that like wawa makes all their money off of like coffee in the morning and everything else is just gravy like some businesses are just and those are the companies people are stealing from it's like they're stealing funyuns from wawa you're stealing fucking iphones from apple yeah i guess i don't know should should we be allowed to steal?

I mean, if you can get away with it, yeah. What was the last thing you stole? You guys ever steal anything? I stole a yogurt really fucked up from Wawa in the middle of the night. And, like, I got... I stole something from Wawa with Roan. Yogurt?

No, and it was actually, he was like insisting that we stole it. Now that I remember this. This was like a couple years ago. We stole those beef jerky. Remember it was the- It feels like a story he didn't want you to tell. I don't remember this.

It was the Jack Link's, the beef jerky with the cheese on the other side. And I made you steal it. And I remember you were like forcing me to steal it. It was gang initiation. Yeah, you forced me to steal it. Low level gang initiation. You're willing to commit theft, but you won't have one beer with me yeah golly that would

but no i was really drunk when that happened yeah i was i was fully blacked out with this i was probably 21 or 22 when the one i'm talking about when i i like stole a yogurt and the cops called me right away and they stopped me like i didn't even get to leave the store they're like you have it in your hands like it was one of the oreo ones where you like sprinkle the top end which is like a high value yeah that's a high value item and this came from my high school who is like uh super gay yeah like we didn't he wasn't out of the closet in high school but like you knew yeah you were positive he was like officer like he's obviously really drunk like it's i'll pay for it or whatever or i'll just like make

sure he's okay what's it gonna take yeah and and so he started to take him he was like trying to like find where i live i i didn't even know if i could i like i couldn't verbalize anything but like somewhere in my blackout, my homophobia kicked in and I was like, this guy's trying to fuck me. Oh no. He, I don't think he was.

He literally saved me from the cops and getting the most embarrassing arrest of all time. But I like basically like stopped in the middle of the street and was like, I'm not going another fucking step. I'm not going anywhere with you, dude. You're trying to fuck me. That's hilarious. You probably put the yogurt in my hand and shoved me out the door just so you could fucking save me, little fucking Dan and Honeypot.

Officer, come take me. Yeah, officer, arrest me. Bring me to jail. I'd rather spend time in jail. I'll do a night in Rikers. Everyone, who said that? That was fucking- Rappaport? No, Barstool guy.

When he was fighting Rico. Big F? No. You guys know what I'm talking about. Oh, they do. They do, yeah. When he was like, I'll do a night in Rikers. I don't give a fuck.

It's like, dude, I don't think that's how Rikers works. Yeah, Rikers isn't really a one night place. It's not like a holding cell. It's not, dude, I think that's how Rikers works. Yeah, Rikers isn't really a one-night place. Yeah, yeah. It's not like a holding cell. It's not a Hilton. If you end up there, you cannot afford a good attorney. The Hotel California. You cannot leave in Rikers. I'll do a night in Rikers.

It's a scared straight program. Every time I leave from LaGuardia, you fly over Rikers. And there's something about sitting in a first-class airline seat, traveling to a nice destination, and flying over that prison that really just makes you feel good about yourself. That you made the right choices, and they didn't. And I hope that they see that plane every day when they get their one hour of yard time and look up and say if only i mean there's some guys in rikers who who have zero idea the advances that delta one has made oh yeah that they're like first class is probably pretty nice you can lean back they don't know that you can that you can be flat while you're watching the Grammys special broadcast

commercial free. And you can choose if you want a vegan lasagna or the short version. And both are pretty damn good. They don't even know to sit in the front row or two of first class so that you don't run out of entree options by the fifth row. Dude, I flew first class back from Denver yesterday. I flew first class on United. And they, I was sleeping.

I fell asleep before we even took off. And then I woke up in the air and they were like, what do you want for food? And I guess I missed the memo because everyone got like the eggs and like hash browns and i got the french toast i like the french toast no protein though no protein and it's literally just a cube of french toast it's half a loaf of bread yeah it's like this big but it's like uh crisp on the outside yeah but it felt bad waking and then i and then i fell asleep again right after and then i woke up with the lady just sitting there with my french toast i look around everyone's just like crushing like protein and fucking like healthy carbs and i just had this like big ass thing of just it's

just literally just a jiggly block of yeah it's just cake yeah so i'm i wake up and like within seconds i'm just shoveling fucking cake into my mouth. And then I'm like, I'm all done. I'm done. And then I just fell right back asleep. Yeah. I felt awful. That's designed to make. I felt so bad.

So much less healthy than drinking. I felt so bad. If you had just gone to the vodka bar and like had your vodka, like a nice, clean, clear alcohol, like that would have been significantly better for you than not having the air cake yeah and then i had to get i had to get up halfway through the flight and go into the bathroom and just fart for like 10 minutes there's a constant dude it was like explosive farts for like 10 minutes straight yeah dry yeah we were we were i will say the vodka bar with me bo peters um we really enjoyed it because we could have ordered you know some kind of cocktail but they had that this list of vodkas that 150 vodkas long did you look at the list no not even out of curiosity no um. He said, I'll get a Diet Coke.

Yeah. And then he went and sat in the corner, and we were all at the bar still, enjoying ourselves. Well, I sat at the corner because I was trying to change my flight. Oh, that's right. He didn't tell us where he'd gone. We thought he'd left without saying goodbye. But you guys were probably discussing the implications of the Rwanda genocide or whatever. It was.

It was literally the whole weekend. It was like that. Peters and I were playing chess a lot. We were playing a lot of chess on our phones. The glazing was out of control. That's what he's going to call it. Just three dudes just sucking each other off the whole weekend. He didn't like the fact that we all liked each other as much as he did. I would be on stage and then I would get

off stage and they'd be sitting in the green room being like, oh, I think I just blundered on chess. Oh, no. I just forked your queen. Oh, no, Francis. I believe I blundered again. I. Oh, no. I just forked your queen. Oh, no, Francis. I believe I blundered again. I forked your queen. The queens are off the table.

They're playing real chess the whole weekend. Peters and I were playing chess. Bo and I were talking Africa. But you guys went fishing during the day. You know, you had your time. I shared them. Yeah, fishing was brutal. You guys didn't catch anything?

Well, it was just a, it was, we went to the fly shop. We were going to go to this one place. The dude there was like, it's frozen. Go to this other place that's like 45 minutes away. We got there. It was, we had to like go down this steep ass hill. There's like two feet of snow on the ground. We get there, the whole entire river is frozen. So then we're like, all right, we got to go, we got to go back up this hill.

And I got like altitude sickness going up the hill. Your ears popped no i i it wasn't even like it was like it was very steep and it was but it wasn't that bad like everyone was tired like we were taking breaks going up the hill and then we got to the top there's like the final stretch which is literally just like 20 feet of like barely like inclined ground and i'm like i don't know if i can i don't know if i can get to the car dude i'm like so dizzy and like out of breath and i'm like all right i get and i'm just standing there and i'm like my brain is so foggy and i i walk to the car and we like put our rods in the car and i'm just i'm just for like 15 minutes straight just cannot catch my breath for the life of me and then Matt's like dude are we ready to go and I was like oh man I think I'm gonna and I'm just

and I'm just dry heaving like crazy for like five minutes straight like laying down on the ground and that's pretty that's a pretty humiliating experience when you're just around your boys just dry heaving. And they're fine. And they're completely fine. And you haven't had anything to drink. Haven't had any water or anything. That's bad.

And then we had to get back in the car, and then that was just another silence for five minutes. Well, they're like, so are you good, bro? Like, what's going on? Yeah, did they bust your balls at all? No, that's one of the, I wish they did. I would have rather that than be concerned. We talked about it when you were on stage. Yeah. We were kind of like, wow, we need to get him to stop smoking that Juul.

Yeah. I don't think it was the Juul. So what was it? Just altitude? I just wasn't used to the, I'm not used to, they live in Colorado. Matt lives at a place that's 11,000 feet above sea level. Yeah. Telluride.

Yeah. My favorite mountain. I love Telluride. We're going to go skiing together. Yeah. So that was pretty humiliating. But then i was fine after that yeah that's that's tough and sometimes like i went to uh colorado we had like a pop punk

show at the fucking height of covet and i felt like i did have some kind of altitude sickness or something like that then like the next day we had another show in indiana or something and i was like super sick then in retrospect i think it was just covet i think it's a bad case of covet rock the fucking show that night though totally flu game yeah big time this vodka bar it we ordered with the traditional thing which was a carafe of ice cold vodka from latvia it was the one that the guy recommended really you think it'd be all russian a lot of them were but they had them from all over the place and this was the one he said is the best and it wasn't that expensive but it was 10 shots for 35 bucks it's not bad and uh we just

we got these frozen shot glasses and then they slice you a whole bunch of pickles a big pile of pickles oh yum and then we would pour a round of shots of vodka. And they said, take an inhale. Take the shot. Exhale. Eat the pickle. And that was how we drank. That was how we drank.

That was all we had. I like that. Just vodka and pickles. And it was awesome. That sounds kind of clean. I felt great the next day. I wolfed down the pickles that they didn't finish. you right before we left were they high-end pickles everyone was walking away and i was they were good as hell they were good they were good yeah great pickers

amazing on a plate do you guys have any other because i'm going to uh a bachelor party uh you wouldn't check out that house for me which which is... Well, you never sent me the address. No, you said, I won't do it. Ron wanted me to go into an Airbnb. Go walk and knock on the door

and make sure, like, the guy that was renting it to them was cool. Hi, a friend of mine will be here shortly. Just doing a quick, just surveying the land real quick,

making sure everything's up to... I'm trying to be the best, you know, best planner for the bachelor party that I'm trying to be the best, you know, best planner for the bachelor party that I can be. It's not my bachelor party, but they're worried that this place is a scam. You should fly out there a couple days ahead of time. I would, but if I get out there a couple days ahead,

I need to get a son of a boy dad listener. I need to commission him to go over there and do a house call like the cops in Home Alone. Yeah, yeah. House seems like it's all good. Tell the lady to count her kids again. That type of situation. So we have The Red Door.

That was the vodka? I think it's called Red Door. Do you remember what it was called? No. I think it was called The Red Door. Red Door, Red Barn, something like that. It's right near Comedy Works, Denver. There's no, I mean, there's a female comedian in town that weekend that i've never really heard of

um amy so amy schumer what is it scummer scummer dude when we were the what i was saying about how everyone getting super drunk before the the late shows they they kicked a bunch of people out at like all the late shows and uh they don't they don't really fuck around with like the heckling stuff and apparently the the security guy who's like in charge of kicking people out he like went up to mook uh and he was like i'm at 27 tonight kicked out 27 people and he was like i'm fuck it i'm going for 40 he's like i'm trying to break my record what he's just doing it for fun yes yeah these are your fans why would you let him do that i tried to tell them hey maybe let's uh be a little more lenient about it and he goes well you know first of all it's not up to you and then and then also it was like they weren't even

necessarily heckling it was that they were like almost throwing up yeah from being so drunk which is hilarious it's such a funny way to view a comedy show. To be like, I need to be able to not stand while I'm watching this show. But I don't think people are making it as cerebral as you're making it. Like people are just like, oh, I'm going to have fun. I want to be fucked up and have a blast. Like they're not thinking of how like drunk they have to be to be able to process your highbrow jokes. I feel like it's one of the things that you actually don't need to be drunk for at all to enjoy.

Yes, but alcohol and comedy shows are married as long as time. There's also Friday night. Two drink minimum. Quite literally. I mean, you don't have a two drink minimum at a ballet. Yeah, that's true. Or a movie. I guess it's just people just go out before

if the show's not until 9.45. That's right. But I think they're going out at like 3 p.m. It could be. And being like, alright, time to do,

we just gotta make it to the show. Time to do Mushrooms, Acid, and Molly so we can sit in the front row and projectile vomit. Maybe they had altitude sickness, bro.

Maybe they were dead certain. True, they could've. It could've been, that's why everyone was throwing up. There was a dude that tagged me in a video um after like right before the early show he got kicked out before the show even started and he tagged me and dave and he was like getting kicked out of the show explain this and it's literally just a

video of him like flipping off the employees at comedy works they're They're through the door. Fuck you! He's like this fucking barstool guy. What? Just laughing in the dude's faces. We need to get Dave to weigh in on this. What do you think Dave is going to do? Call Comedy Works and be like, let them back in now. It's also such a funny thing to be like, explain why we got kicked out. And I was like, like dude the video is pretty just concrete evidence as to why you got kicked out yeah you're making an ass yeah yeah where's the uh seemed like a fucking incredible venue oh it's great jeffrey pillars a lot of pillars though not too many just just a healthy amount of pillars right about yeah

less would have been you would say why aren't there more pillars? How is the ceiling up? How is the ceiling staying afloat if there aren't any pillars? Are we at risk? Are we on a fault line here? It's like a Coral Gables. Where did the building collapse? Yes.

Was that Coral Gables from Florida? I think you're thinking of Brazil. Oh, yeah. I'm thinking of Brazil. There was a bad one in Brazil. There are a lot in Brazil. Eagles play in Brazil this year. I know. Opening week. There was a bad one in Brazil. There are a lot in Brazil. Eagles play in Brazil this year. I know.

Opening week. What? On opening week Friday. Yeah. Are you going to go? Son of a boy dad trip? To Brazil? Would you guys go?

I would go if they're playing the 49ers. Wow. At least I'll have a team to root for. I've never been to Brazil, but if we go, I want to go to that whore house where they escort you out in a sheet. Oh, the Justin Bieber one? Yeah. I want to be taken out in a sheet. And I don't want anything to do with the whores, but I do want that security service to take me out in a sheet. What does that even mean, that he go out in a sheet? There's a famous picture of Bieber leaving this brothel where he doesn't

want anyone to see that he was in there, and so his bodyguards are like they dress him up like the ghost from carrying him in a sheet he's wrapped up in a sheet that's hilarious it's pretty funny it's like the fucking taylor swift with the popcorn machine yeah but but much lower effort yeah significantly lower effort yeah no speculation on if it's him or not it's the same shoes he's wearing like exclusive Tiffany Jordans or some shit like that. You just see him

shuffling down the street. That's hilarious. That is amazing. Yeah, we got to get out to Brazil. Dude, I also talked to Josh Allen and he said that

your comedy sucks. Oh man, that's crazy. I know. He's never seen me do comedy. No, and he still do, which is crazy. He went out of his way. Thanks.

That's what Rome, Rome was trying to turn that into a thing last night. He was like, and I'm better friends with Josh Allen than you are. I've never met Josh Allen. No, then you'll ever be. Yeah, and I said, yeah, most likely. You don't even want to try? No, I would love to meet Josh Allen, but I don't think... To be friends with him?

I don't know if me and Josh Allen are ever going to be good friends. Why? Gabe Davis are friends. Yeah, I mean, I just don't see that happening. Well, Gabe Davis probably won't even resign. Are you going to still be a Bills fan when Gabe Davis is off the team, I mean, I just don't see that happening. Well, Gabe Davis probably won't even resign. Are you going to still be a Bills fan when Gabe Davis is off the team and Josh Allen hates you? Do you think it'll be worth it for you, or do you think that you'll be harboring a nasty resentment?

You think he hates me? These are all just new things that I'm hearing. He just said you suck dick. That's crazy. Yeah. That seems really out of character for him. No, and he was really sweet josh no and he was really sweet well it just like honest more than anything like yeah yeah there he has so many opportunities to lie about so many things i'm gonna try and befriend the whole eagles team i'm gonna dedicate my the rest of my life to becoming good friends

with the rest of the the whole like become to a a point where they have a box for me. Yeah. It's called, yeah, Harry's box. Like, you'll be the Taylor Swift of the Eagles. Yes. Yes. That's my goal in life. You should date a player on the Eagles. And I'm going to wear a Patriots jersey and sit in the box. No.

Yeah. But they'll be such good friends. But they won't even care. They'll be like, that's his thing. That's his thing. He's legit. Yeah. Do you think that-

They're saying this might be the Patriots' year. Why? A lot of people are saying it. Who do you want them to draft? It's draft season now. Jayden Daniels. Really? Yeah.

It would be nice for them. He's a weapon. He really is. He's a weapon. It'd be nice for them to have a mobile quarterback, if you know what I mean. They would, yeah. They got rid of Mac Jones. Yeah.

So they'll have the jersey, though. Whatever that's going to go for money. Should I try and sell that? Yeah, you got to get it. Well, if he like won a Super Bowl. That would have. Yeah. Or if you like counterfeit an autograph.

Yeah, I could probably get an autograph. I could probably hit up Mac. You think so? I can't imagine he's getting a lot of DMs. Send it to him. Yeah. Have him send it back. Yeah.

Send him like a bunch of postage yeah like here sign this send it back um this is like that's like i'm betting on him i'm betting on him to go to the eagles and win a super bowl so you'll be rooting we'd be rooting together for him on the eagles if you went to the eagles i would root for him that's actually i think that could happen yeah i 100 because they got to get a quarterback. The Eagles? Yeah. You were sending so funny Jalen Hurts pictures. Yeah.

But let go of the hate in your heart. I mean, dude, he's QB three at best. Hurts? Yeah. He had the second highest QB rating in the Super Bowl since 2006. You know who had the first highest? Nick Foles, another Eagle. Really?

Yes, bro. Did they win the Super Bowl? With Nick Foles. Oh, yeah, they did win with Nick Foles. They beat the Patri? Yes, bro. Did they win the Super Bowl? With Nick Foles. Oh, yeah, they did win with Nick Foles. They beat the Patriots. Big Dick Nick. Put respect on our fucking names, dude. So is there any other recommendations in Denver that you can give me?

Shotgun Willies. What's that? The Irish bar? Strip club. You went to the strippy? No. Not this weekend. But we've been there. I think what we did. I will say that Mook and I,

we didn't see much of Sass because he was... Oh, I shot guns. Went to gun range indoors, I believe it was called. Or it was called shooting indoors. That could have been a strip club, though. Yeah, I don't know. Shot gun willies. Did you?

Yeah, semi-auto, though. Where'd you anchor that thing? Or were you just holding it willy-nilly oh yeah no what do you mean i'm very confused you anchored against your body oh yeah where right here fuck yeah how's the shoulder great not a lot of kick we were we were we were gonna shoot the p90 and then some dude came out with the ak and he was like man i could shoot that ak all day no kick yeah and we were like all right i guess we're going with the ak dude it was kind of freaky to shoot yeah yeah that's some colorado shit it was crazy

it has like the fucking like on the like when you shoot it you can see the fucking like the gas explosion coming out really it's crazy was the guy in a joker mask no i've shot an ak before so explain to me how that's not fully automatic it just doesn't have the fun switch on it some of them do some of them don't so because to me an ak shoots pretty darn fast well it's semi-auto so a fully auto is it 3x the rate of rounds that are coming out 2x fully auto is just you just don't have to you just hold the trigger in it oh every time you shoot an ak't have to you just hold the trigger in it. Oh, every time you shoot an AK

you got to pull the trigger? The one that we were shooting did not have a fully auto option. That's what it means. Okay. The switch. I didn't know that. Yeah, the switch.

The fun switch. You called it a fun switch. The fun button. That's what Hitchcock Hitchcock calls it. Hitchcock? Hitchcock. My favorite gun YouTuber.

Oh, really? Hitchcock 45. Switches are illegal. He was the one that shot the watermelons that I showed you. We just watched gun porn in the green room after they went shooting. Really? Here's this guy holding a pistol shooting watermelons. A watermelon, yeah.

It's all in a fucking watermelon. I showed you that video, too. Oh, is that the same one? Yeah, same video. They're always blowing it. Because watermelons. That video is hilarious. They blow up like human.

Yeah. They have the nice explosion and the flesh inside. It has the simulation of being a human. Dude, the way that those watermelons exploded reminded me. Imagine a mob killing where, you know how in the mob they would not shoot them in the face? Yeah. For the casket. As a respect.

If you shot someone in the face with one of those guns. There would be no head left. The mother would be like my boy. Yeah. What do they do to my son? Yeah. It wouldn't even be. It would just be his neck. It would just be his neck down. Scooping up seeds and rinds. Right like Mischief Knight and people were like. Probably have to put him in a casket with a watermelon on his neck and paint a face on it or if they're like out of respect we're not going to shoot his fucking head but they still use the fully automatic and like the body is just completely torn to shreds

but the head is still intact like what it was respect it was very respectful the body's just dangling limb from limb that's crazy i feel like if you would that what was it you said it was very respectful the body's just dangling limb from limb yeah it's crazy i feel like if you would that what was it you said it was a 500 that was the 500 smith and weston if you shot someone in the thigh with that yeah it would separate their leg 100 what kind of slugs were you talking about in that big guns that both the ones that I shot yeah we just shot 9 we shot a Glock Glock with 9

9mm Glock 9 no Glock 4 or 5 it's Glock 4 oh no we did shoot a Glock 45 came with a switch but it had but it was

9mm ammo and then we shot which that I don't like I don't like shooting those yeah it's not it's like

it doesn't feel like you're like killing anything well it's just hard as fuck to aim them you don't like. I don't like shooting those. Yeah. It's not, it's like, it doesn't feel like you're like killing anything. Well, it's just hard as fuck to aim them. You don't have that like bloodlust fucking teeth fucking grinding.

No. And then the AK, I don't know what the ammo was, but it was just the big sharp bullets. Were you shooting at a target? Yeah. How's your aim?

Not bad. Was it good though? Yeah, I showed Francis a video of me hitting the head. You did show me a video and you showed me and the first three shots were not even close. Yeah, but then the next three were all right next to each other. And then you were like, I figured it out.

Those are warning shots. Look at how good these are. Yeah, you don't want to execute on the first couple shots. You want to give them a chance to run. Yeah, ideally let them live. Yeah, at that point, the guy would not stop reaching into his glove box. So he said, all right, I'm not fucking around. And then I finished him off.

Three in the head. Yeah, he was probably reaching for a burger. Yeah. What the fuck? It was funny. I got a video of me shooting it and I was like, I'm going to post this. Then you watch it back

and it's the most underwhelming thing. Yeah. It's literally me shooting a bullet every like 30 seconds. Can I see it? It's like... It's like. It's like no one would enjoy.

No one would even finish that video. I think if you put like, come to my next show afterwards. Yeah, yeah. I think people might like it. And then we got one. We did the last shot. I opened her up.

Shot it, tried to shoot it as fast as I could. And of course, no one, no one filmed that one. Just the underwhelming one. I know. I should put it, yeah, slow it down even more. Make it a ten minute video. Peters didn't film it? No, no one filmed it. When did you guys start calling Matt Peters?

What? When did you guys start calling Matt Peters? When I was with him you called him Matt the entire time. I don't know. Maybe switch it up here and there. Fair enough. He liked that i was calling him peters yeah even you calling him peters i was like well francis is close to this dude but you said you just said that you weren't with him the whole time or you weren't with no we didn't get to really spend much time during the day because they would all go do their own

thing so then mook and i had to wander the streets of denver as a couple of gingers who looked like we'd been fucking abandoned oh my god like our parents were like we're not dealing with their hair this is humiliating neither of us send them out everyone assumes they were adopted you just had a bindle um and we did we went around we went to a diner that guy fieri had gone to and that sounds amazing it held all the hallmarks of a guy fieri diner What'd you get? Well, I struggled. You can't get some average bullshit from there.

You have to get the square jiggly French toast or something. I did a burrito that was so big that it would have fucking anchored a home in the wind. Yeah? It was just a log. Would have ruined the plot of The Wizard of Oz? Yeah, it would have been over in the first act uh it was a log a gigantic log across a plate such so big that you couldn't even you couldn't lift it up and you couldn't lift it up because they had caulked it into the plate with cheese really oh i hate when they do they had done melted cheese top to bottom all over the plate you had to eat it with a fork

and a knife and i'm like a yule log yeah of of fucking bread and egg and potatoes there's so many goddamn potatoes in it but the big problem i had was that uh mook had ordered a mimosa which i just wasn't prepared for that because we'd been drinking the night before and i was hung over and but i did kind of want to drink but this place was a piece of shit so i said uh boy i'd like a margarita, but I'm sure they're not going to make it with proper lime juice. They're going to make it with a mix. And there was a very masculine man sitting directly to my right. We're at the bar, shoulder to shoulder.

And I'm now worried that if I ask the bartender for proper fresh squeezed lime juice in my margarita, my guy to my right is going to judge me for the bitch that I am. So I told Mook, I whispered, is there any way that you could ask the bartender since he probably doesn't like you already? Yeah, he's already pegged you as a bitch. Yeah. Could you ask her? Because he'd already ordered a mimosa which i knew the guy to my right i was actually nudging him be like can you believe this so i said could you possibly ask her on my behalf and pretend it's for you if she could make my

margarita with proper lime juice and he goes excuse me miss is there any chance that you could make a margarita with actual lime juice and she goes well i could actually cut the limes up i guess and squeeze them for you and he goes great and then she starts doing it she brings over a bushel of limes cutting them in half meanwhile the guy to my right he's like jesus christ like you already have your yeah yeah and you still want this but but then she goes would you like some orange juice or sweetener in it and i couldn't even help myself and i gave myself away i was like yes yes i i would at which point the cat was out of the bag you should have hit him with it you should i know you should but then i was so neurotic about this that I I legitimately turned to the guy to my right and I said I was so concerned about ordering this fresh squeezed limes juice margarita because I thought you would judge me for not being the man that you are trying to tell a joke and he goes dude I don't I didn't hear any of this. I'm sending emails on my phone.

Like, why are you talking to me? And I was like, ah, I shouldn't have fucking. Just presuming that people are overhearing or not wrapped up in their own world. For the rest of the breakfast, he then ran with this bit. So anytime I would say something to Mook, like, hey man, there's a really good menswear store two blocks away that i'd like to hit which we did everything i'm wearing is from there uh he would go yeah but what if there's a better menswear store two blocks beyond that so he was hilarious he did it too many times oh really he said they did like 10 times he did legitimately yeah we were watching

a soccer game on the tv and i was like wow it was a sick goal and he goes wouldn't it have been better if he'd made it with his head i'm like that's not really the right way to describe yeah he missed the essence of the bit anyway yeah yeah yeah but you invited him into the you invited him into your world yeah yeah we did and i was glad And I was glad to. Why not just get a Bloody Mary? Or with the two of you having a Bloody Mary, would it have felt like you were blending your young and fucking eating them in front of him? Yeah. It's like, you know, exactly.

Drinking a Bloody Mary out of a fake Jack-O-Lantern. I don't know. There's a lot of orange. But I'm also not a Bloody Mary guy. Oh, really? Unfortunately, I want to be. That's why you're GI tract? Yeah.

I don't like savory cocktails. Interesting. I I don't know I don't like savory cocktails Interesting I really don't I love Bloody Marys I feel like you can get Like that's one that you could get Virgined up Like especially like

Yeah it's just V8 But no but like a high end Like if you go to a place That makes really good Bloody Marys You could get a good one there Yeah yeah definitely Remember that one we got in Austin Yeah that was tough to drink

It was so spicy I thought it was amazing. It was good, but it was like hot as fuck. Yeah, it was hot as fuck. We got to get back to Austin. I know. We got to get to Austin, Denver, Brazil. Brazil is going to be nuts.

Brazil. We have to go to Brazil. Yeah. Quit fucking around. I know. Quit fucking about. This just in. Pat Beverly traded to Brazil.

That would be bad. Golly nor me. If he just gets on the, well, I guess that was Spanish. Speak Portuguese down there. You guys know any Portuguese? Falo Portuguesa. No, but my sister's boyfriend is from Brazil, and he speaks Portuguese. Nice.

Yeah. And she says that he plays Call of Duty, and he's just yelling in Portuguese the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. And she has no idea what they're saying, and it piss the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. And she has no idea what they're saying and it pisses her off. Yeah.

It's funny. Girls need to be able to eavesdrop. Yeah. Pat Bev will FaceTime me and my wife will turn the TV down. Yeah.

What the fuck? What did you guys think about Usher? I think he ruled. I thought it was great. I thought he killed that shit. I thought it wasn't great. I didn't know you even

watched the game. Yeah. Oh, but you couldn't come over No Because you were so hungover From the french toast all weekend Legitimately yes If I didn't have that french toast

I probably would have came over But I did And I was like I can't be with people right now I mean I spent the whole weekend with you Becoming best friends with your friends And drinking my face off And I still made it to.

Wow, that's crazy. You had to walk down one flight of stairs. Yeah, I sure did. Sure did. The big difference between me going over to. Yeah, you would have had to tunnel in from Manhattan. You would have had to sit on a fucking. Dude, last time I went to.

Last time I went to your place during that hour with him. It took us an hour and a half to get there. Not on a Sunday. It was literally on a Sunday. It was on a Sunday. Not Super Bowl Sunday. It was at like 5 p.m not on a sunday it was literally on a sunday it was on a sunday not super bowl so it was at like 5 p.m on a sunday yeah but you need the exact same time that i was public transportation that next time yeah much quicker or you will do no transport you will walk i'll come get you i'll shepherd you over well how are we gonna do that football's ball's over bro i know it sucks we need to fucking what are y' going to do with your Saturday-Sunday combos now?

No idea. I'm about to start taking walks. I got to get a new show or something to watch. What are we thinking? I don't know. I need to get a fucking PlayStation. Yeah, I got to get a new PlayStation. Five.

See if they can bundle one? Yeah, get two little two-for-one deal. Or let's get... It's never been done, ever. Three PlayStation 3s and a one, and combine it to make two PlayStation 5s. It's not a bad idea. It's kind of genius, a little bit of math, bro.

You know who would have loved that? Peters. Yeah, he would have. Peters would have loved that. I know Peters as well as I think I do. That cerebral savant. He would have loved that, dude. That heady bastard.

Do you know that Peters speaks exactly with the same inflection that Sass does? So they end on the up? I heard that he started it. He created that. He created it. And he does it to the extreme. It's every sentence with him. Does Bo do it? Bo doesn't.

And Bo and I bonded over that. We stay down. Bo stays down? Yeah. I heard Bo's incredible He's awesome Dude, they're fascinating You're so fascinating Oh my god, you're so You're intriguing, my brain

That's not It's not even You know Look, fine You know what? Your brain is just tempting You wanna I wanna get inside there

You talk about shit about my buddy Bo like that It's your ass You're gonna find yourself Not on the next fly fishing trip that's for sure I might go to Jackson and do some fly fishing yeah speaking of fly fishing we're gonna go fly fishing next weekend

in Albany Sass and I are gonna be in Albany this upcoming weekend Albany New York Albany New York not the Bahamas common misconception we have a lot of fans in the bahamas we're hitting me up being like so pumped to see you this weekend the bahamanians yeah the bahamaniacs yeah yeah they're hitting me up going big tings and that

i don't think that's the right it's close that's not the right all it's close their tings and dots. Their accent is somewhat, to me, to my untrained ear, is similar to Jamaican. Sounds like you're stealing Trevor Noah's bit, bro. Did he do a bit about that? That's what he did on the Grammys. What? I referenced it. I talked

about it on the podcast last week. They had Ziggy Marley on. No one can understand you, man. Then he was like, big tings and dots. The whole crowd was like, no one can understand you, man. And then he was like, big tings and dots. And the whole crowd was like, we don't get it, bro. We can't understand you.

Speak like us. Talk like a fucking American. Yeah. Which is bold to say to three black men. It is. You don't say that. Especially during February.

Maybe at a 7-Eleven in Denver you can get away with some shit like that, but not fucking February. You can get away with some crazy shit at 7-Eleven in Denver. What get away with some shit like that but not fucking get away with some crazy shit at 7-Eleven in Denver what did you guys

think of the lift every voice and sing performance now that we're talking about Black History Month I loved it me too Francis

this is the first I'm hearing of it you know how they added a black national anthem yeah have they it's very groovy

it'll make you want to get up and dance get's very groovy. It'll make you want to get up and dance. Get up and shit some ass. It'll make you want to get up off of that thing. Yeah. Come on, everybody, get up. It's time for the

black national anthem. Slide to the left. Yeah. Slide to the right. What is this for real? Trapaholics. And ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the Black National Anthem. Trapaholics remix.

Metro don't trust you. But yes, there really is a Black National Anthem called Lift Every Voice and Sing that they put before America the Beautiful and before the National Anthem. I think they should have put it after. That's going to happen? What, at the Super Bowl? No, it has been happening. Oh.

They sing it all the time. Every professional sporting event. Well, they don't do America the Beautiful at every special sporting event. Yeah, maybe not. But they lift every voice in singing a lot at a lot of events. I'm going to have to learn it. On the piano, perhaps. People will expect me to know that. Yeah, or a parody of events. I'm going to have to learn it. On the piano, perhaps. People will expect me to know that.

Or a parody of it. Lift every voice and fart. Very nice, huh? Lift up your giant dick to poop. Yeah. Doesn't dangle in the toilet water. Yes, that's good. That's good parody.

That's good. That's good shit right there. I fucking love parody. All right. I will be walking my dog this week around Brooklyn, but I also will be in Indianapolis. Swing by and say what's up. NBA All-Star game.

Oh, yeah. Cool. Very cool. And then you're moving to Chicago when? Well, we are right what's so funny nothing dude that was just that whole thing was just cracking me up that everyone was like ron's moving to chicago this is fucked so this is perfect dude ron's been leaving moving to chicago yeah as if you guys didn't do the podcast when he was in la for the first year

or when he was in chicago oh man alright well that's been Son of a Boy Dad thank you guys for listening we will see you we're also gonna be

zhuzhing the release schedule at some point soon oh yeah we're gonna be changing it up but it's still gonna be two episodes a week but we're thinking about moving some things

we just wanna make sure that there's space between the episodes so everybody gets their fair bite at the apple yeah cause some of you guys have been disobeying us and not listening to

both of the episodes. And that's not going to fly with us. That's not going to work, so. Albany this weekend. Tickets at littlesasquatchwebsite.com. Yes. We'll see you there. Thank you.

Goodbye.