Son of a Boy Dad - LIVE III Son of a Boy Dad #138

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

Rone, Sas, & Francis battle through adversity/technical difficulties once again to put on a hilarious hour+ Apologies, we should have a studio soon... #SonOfABoyDad #Ad: BUY TICKETS ON GAMETIME!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Posted the link. What? I just posted the link. Oh, that's nice. I posted it twice hours ago.

Oh, perfect. When people weren't on the internet caring about this show. Maybe a timely bump. 75 people waiting. Uncle Big Cat would be pretty upset with you. That's not how Uncle Big Cat taught you to do it back in your react days. I just did one moments before you got in. I was here on time though.

Which was dead on time. We were dead on time. What time did the show start? Three? Yep. I just smashed retweet on yours. Are you pissed? A little.

I'm going to retweet. Are you doing something different with your hair? Yeah, it's a whole thing, dude. I'm fucking furious right now. What's going on with it? It's like you used a different product. Yeah, because I did and it's all greasy. And it's like separating it more.

It's really annoying. It was a whole thing this morning. Francis just played sports for hours and he looks less sweaty than you. I know. Well, my hair is wet. Is it? So it'll dry out. I just wetted it in the bathroom. Wetted it? Wetted it. Look at it. Look at the...

How would you even describe that? Are we live right now? Okay. I didn't know we were live yet. You thought I was making fun of your hair for me and you? When nobody's watching, I'm very nice to you. When the cameras are on, that's when I'll start cracking a couple jokes. Welcome back to Son of a Boy

Dad. We are live from the Barstool Headquarters HQ 3. And Sass is steaming mad. Well, I can tell you what happened. I mean, I showered, got out of the shower, forgot that I ran out of hair jelly yesterday.

What's your brand? Drop your brand. Old Spice. Whatever Old Spice. I don't know which one it is. Okay. The red one. I change them all the time.

I do these different ones all the time. And so I have like a couple hours until I have to come here. Of course. So I'm like, all right,, I'm gonna just order Old Spice online, like Uber Eats from CVS and get like a Red Bull or something on top of it and tea because I'm losing my voice. And

dude, I've never had a worse and I don't like, I don't really like to like, I don't want to get mad at the Uber Eats guys, the ones that don't speak a lick of English because it's like, it's not their fault and they're trying to make a living. They're literally like enslaved by Uber Eats. Yeah, exactly. So I don't get mad at of English because it's like it's not their fault and they're trying to make a living. They're literally like enslaved by the Greeks. Yeah, exactly. So I don't get mad at them,

but it is frustrating. Like the dude was at CVS for over an hour, just not everything he's sending and being like, they don't have this. And I'm like, I know they have it because I go to that CVS. So I'm like describing in messages where he should go in the CVS.

And then he's replying to me in not English. The translations aren't even coming through. It's like some other type of Spanish that he was using. Different Spanish? Some like Spanish version two. And he gets to my apartment an hour and a half later. Wrong hair gel. And the app, he never

checked out at CVS, so it's registering that he's still supposed to be shopping. So I had to pay him in cash. And then he canceled the order. But before that, he's just sitting outside my apartment and I'm texting him. I'm like, dude, are you here? There's no reply. It sounds like you definitely have it worse

than this guy. No, that's why I said I'm not, I don't get mad at him, but it was just like, it was a rough one. You could have like walked over to the CBS in the middle of it. Yeah, exactly. You should have gone over and been like, it's right here, buddy. Yeah, exactly. I would, I should have just walked. That was a, it was a lesson to be learned about being lazy.

Do you think if Joe Biden had a firmer policy on immigration, then you'd have a more capable Uber Eats person to deliver your hair gel from CVS. Probably, yeah. Or do you think if Trump had built that wall, like he said, instead of just 52 miles like he did, maybe you would have somebody who could actually fucking bring you

the product that you need. Exactly. And I don't even know what I fucking, I paid him way too much money. I don't know how much... It was just like... Pesos? Dude, he was sitting out. I opened the door and he's sitting there trying to figure it out. Sat there for 10 minutes and then he shows me his phone

with a Google translation. And he's like, can you give me cash? I won't let me check out. And I was like, yeah, sure. So I had to close the door and go find cash. Luckily, of course, I just won big in Vegas. So I have plenty of that. Yeah, thank God. But he probably took all of it.

I mean, you just lost your big winnings from Vegas. I gave him $40 for hair gel and a... What? Did you tip him? Dude, I think the whole thing cost like $5. You gave him $40? He was tipped. You gave him $40?

Yeah, he was tipped well. You know what's funny is you don't even know if he paid for that at CVbs that's what i'm saying i think he stole it he stole it i probably got charged on uber and the whole thing i was surprisingly i'm just so exhausted and out of it that i just didn't it never bothered me no this is exactly what now my hair's fucking like soaking wet i mean this is just this is a disgrace my hair it's the stupidest I've ever looked at. Yeah, it looks fucking ridiculous. It looks like a bunch of Japanese spiders are nesting on your head. I got to get a hat on or something. Put the helmet on.

Moody, you look emotional. Oh, dude, it feels bad. I'll tell you this, though. I do not blame that guy for robbing the CV. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Check, check, check, check, check. Test, test. Are we good? Are we good?

We are back. We're getting our princess back. Are you putting it out for boy dad? It's taking me dad it's taking me it's taking me all all right we're live again okay we're live we're back again fuck yeah jesus christ i'm going to

lose my fucking mind thank you snaggo we got relegated from the radio room where there's not a show that happens at this time for a show that's happening in Chicago because they said they need 30 minutes to get the audio levels, right?

So we're literally in a closet. I'd rather the audio levels just be wrong. I'd, yeah, I'll take, I'll fucking whisper. I'll audio. I'll self modify my audio levels.

We've got producers stripped from this show, like fucking apples being plucked off of a fucking tree. Connor Moop, gone. Peyton, gone. Diego, gone. All the different shows. Blanc Brini's 900 producers. I can't, it's the whole company, dude.

It's the whole company dude it's the whole company they don't even record in person it's like have you ever seen the fucking when they do the navy and everybody has to fucking climb the pole and there's so the guys get around the pole on the bottom and then another group gets on we're so squashed at the fucking bottom of this. I'm going to literally lose my fucking mind. It's out again? What the fuck? It's back.

I'm going to lose my fucking mind, dude. Oh my god, dude. What the fuck is happening? Was it because... Blow my head off in front of all of the tech guys and really fuck them up forever? Seriously, forever. I'm furious, dude. I'm so frustrated.

So frustrated. frustrated. Check, check, check, check, check. You only got headphones? Yeah, almost. I mean, You guys should just going to kill all the tech guys

oh you're going to tell your show he said he's going to kill himself in front of all the tech guys to

traumatize you yes the way that we're being traumatized all right we good? What's happening? Yeah, but it happened in the studio last week too if we could just get a sass laugh track

I'd be alright learn sign language okay so we're just getting little bits of it that's it coming through learn sign language. Okay. So we're just getting little bits of it. That's it coming through. We're live now. Okay.

Welcome back to son of a boy dad podcast. Morale is good. Don't touch anything. Ah, yes, we touched it all. That's what went wrong. Francis was like Rudy Gobert right before COVID. We played a little hide and seek.

We did just unplug everything. I saw Rudy Gobert one time in a restaurant in Minneapolis. How was the experience? It was one of the better restaurants I've ever been to in my life. There's a restaurant in Minneapolis. Minneapolis has a really good food scene. It's the liberals. Is it?

I think so. They cook beautifully. This was a very, very good restaurant. That's got to be it. And he was in there and let me tell you... Golly! Two can play that game, I guess.

Okay, still working. You might just need a permanent chair on the show, Tech Guy Andrew, just so we can... You know what I mean? Dude, seeing Rudy Gobert sitting in a chair at a table surrounded by three normal civilian humans is pretty laugh out loud funny. Being around basketball players is truly a reminder

that they're a different species. It's like going to dinner with a giraffe. Yeah, it is preposterous. Except Pat Bev's not that tall. I know. How tall is he? 6'1"? 6'3", 180 pounds. 6'3", 180? He's listed as 6'2", but I don't know. I think that, Francis,

you might be bigger than him. Well, I'm certainly heavier, but he commands more respect. I saw some clips of him balling this morning. Where at? Practicing. Really? Just getting those repetitions. I just played some ball. Yeah, how was it? I'm wearing my Kobe's.

Nice. It was a good thing it was dry because they tend not to do very well in condensation or fog. Or in helicopters. Now you said fog. Yeah. Yeah, that's funny.

Sorry, did I really have to stomp on that? I did step on it. That's okay. Good minds think at the same time no no no good minds think over each other good minds say the joke before the other one I was also trying to lead them gently

to the water I smashed you're like helicopter crash he died he died he died yeah I spastically dove into it all good though no worries dude there's a there's a

3d kind of computer generated rendering of the flight of Kobe's helicopter that is on YouTube was it doing like barrel rolls and shit or was it just like a black hawk down type situation it wasn't uh it was banking it was turning and given how thick the fog was and how mountainous and hilly it is in that area um they just turned into the

mountain and they probably thought you know they were turning and basically diving i think they just turned into the mountain. And they probably thought they were turning and basically diving, I think. But they probably just thought they were banking. The guy thought he was banking. Helicopter crashes in Black Hawk Down are terrifying. It's so slow. They go down for a while. And they get surrounded by a bunch of fucking gremlins.

Dude, in college, we had a guy who came to speak to us before our season started who had been a force recon Marine. And his job was to repel down helicopters with his team onto enemy boats, vessels? You think that's what he thinks his life trajectory is? I'm not sure, but I'm not quite done with the story. I'm going to repel into enemy territory and then three months from now I'm going to be giving a speech to Harvard lacrosse players.

It's a good question. Let's table it. Why don't we put a pin in that until I finish the thought? You guys playing UVM this week really reminds me of that one time where I had to storm Osama bin Laden's compound. Unfortunately, that is where I'm going. I was leading to a contrast, and you have rendered the whole story.

You got to get there faster. You just got to get there faster. You got to get there faster. Man, we both have fucking trampled Francis's stories. Me and Roan just moved quick. We're going to go ahead and make you say your exact... It's a good point. I am too long-winded. I'm sorry.

No, you're not. Because I... Sass has just finished the story. There's nowhere else. That's the ending. Is that actually what happened? It's pretty close. Say what actually happened and let's see how close he actually got. Okay. Well,

he came in and he spoke to us and he told his story about how one day he was doing a training exercise and a number of his guys, they were in a helicopter. They were coming in to land on an aircraft carrier, a gun ship or something like that. And the pilot

came in too low. One of the wheels of the helicopter... There's a video of this on YouTube. Let's not risk it. That's not quite our specialty. Don't you dare touch that fucking computer. One of the wheels clips

the netting and it tips the helicopter into the ocean. And it tips the helicopter in to the ocean and it goes in like sideways and all the rotors like bust off and he tells this story because he's inside the helicopter with like 20 guys. Reminds me exactly of the Harvard 08

season. Yeah. Don't pay attention to that little boy over there that little boy who has to make his my greasy ass hair yeah you and your I'm trying to deflect away from my greasy hair tribulations bridging a language

barrier to have your fucking hair gel paid for it was literally what a terrible day drug deal transaction Have your fucking hair gel paid for. It was literally like a drug deal transaction. Handing the guy $40 for one little cylinder of hair gel. Just a brick of hair gel. What adversity. I can't believe you're here. He got the wrong hair gel too.

I don't know if I mentioned that. Oh my God. Are you serious? So that's got to be worse than the guy whose helicopter wheel clip well it reminded me a lot of that that's why i brought it up so what happened his helicopter wheel clip and he's inside the helicopter helicopter tips into the water they're underwater they're very disoriented it starts sinking very quickly a lot of i think he got gets knocked unconscious because they get thrown out against the wall. He comes to, water is filling up.

I think now it's, now it's filled. Like there's, they're underwater and he has, arm is broken and he makes a decision to swim one way instead of another way. And that's what saved his life. He services half the guys in the helicopter died. And then he dedicated his life to running iron men to

raise money for the families of his men who were under his command in the helicopter so that their children would never have to pay for college god damn that's his like mission and his mo and he came and spoke to our team and then ran our lifting and conditioning sessions for the first two weeks of preseason. And day two, we had to go... It was at 5.30 in the morning. We went into the swimming pool for the Harvard swim team. So it's like an Olympic-sized swimming pool. 5.30am, full sweats, hoodies, sweats, full sweats.

And we had to tread water in wet sweats for like an hour and then do this thing where you would take your sweatshirt off while you were treading water and then flip it inside out and then put it back on all while you're treading water. There's like a third of the guys on the team can't really swim very well. Just like not really good at swimming. And they were drowning. You think of what I'm thinking? On the lacrosse team?

Yeah. You wouldn't have thought. You'd expect that from the basketball team. Oh, you didn't need to say it. I'm just not sure you needed to say it. But you said it. So that's out there. These guys can't swim.

Yeah. Some of these guys can't swim that well and certainly not doing what we're doing. You come up over your head. You've got a sweatshirt over your arms and stuff. So you can't use your arms. So they're drowning. And we see this and the guy's like, I'm not jumping in to help you. So me and another buddy who could swim pretty well

had to go to the bottom of the pool and take turns letting these guys stand on our shoulders so that they could switch their sweatshirts on and off. Jesus Christ. It was the hardest workout. It was terrifying. Hardest workout I've ever done. But even with that, as you said, Sass, your point

if you want to... It probably didn't really improve the team. No, we went 500 that year and it did not provide any kind of contrast for us that had any grounding in our experience. We were like, oh, we'll fight for

the military's incredible acts of heroism. No, we're Harvard lacrosse douchebags. We're going to go play beer pong tonight. What are you talking about? I bet motivational speech almost never works. I agree. And there's so much money that goes into it.

But anybody that had a little bit of adversity... I remember they would come into our high school motivational speakers and they'd be like, I'm my fucking son. We'd always have dudes come in that have no legs or some shit. I have legs. What's he doing here? It's not going to really inspire

me too much. You know what does inspire is tragedy. You need tragedy within your ranks. Yeah, it has to happen to you. Someone needs to die on your team. Yeah, someone needs to lose their leg. Put the sticker on the helmet and be like, we're playing for Bugsy.

That's actually Bugsy Strong. We're playing for Bugsy Strong. A Bugsy Strong. In fact, if you really want to win... The little cross players always have the tape on the side of the helmet. Yeah, like a really good coach. I see i could see coach prime you know killing one of his players he chopped off some of his toes just because he the team needed something he was like i might lose my foot yeah i might chop off my foot it was really down to it but like when a motivational

speaker comes to your high school that's really just like a blank canvas for the funniest kid in the school to do whatever he wants. Like to make some kind of like fart joke or say something really nasty or something. Yeah. One of the... Were you a class clowny? In some ways, I was. 100%. But I would never do something...

But he went. Huh? He was a rebel. Yeah. Was that their mascot or... No, he's a rebel. He's a rebel. Oh.

He probably never even went to class. I wouldn't skip class. My parents were strict. My mom was strict as fuck, dude. By the way, I knew that wasn't the mascot. Of Penn State? It's the Lions. Right. Or St. Joe's Prep? I was thinking high school. That's the Hawks.

The Hawks will never die. Yeah. Fuck you know about that? Nothing. We were the Dragons. You should have been the Ducks for real. We were the dragons. You should have been the ducks for real. We were the clippers. A boat? Yeah. They had to rebrand from slave ships. Here at high school, it probably was, right?

I mean, it's probably great. It's become the clippers. You don't think any of the clippers had a couple extra passengers on there? At least stowaways or prisoners. Stowaways in the fruit barrels. Yeah, or prisoners or something like that. The Clippers is a weird-ass fucking name. I guess it must have been a badass type of warship at the time.

I think so, many years prior. Well, you're not naming something an aircraft carrier or like a Blackhawk helicopter or anything like that. That would be a badass name. Blackhawks? No, the Blackhawk helicopters. Yeah, a little long though. But if it's a Clipper can be one.

A Clipper is like a fucking boat. The jets, you know what I mean? The jets, yeah. The helicopters. They're not fighter jets. Or what are the helicopters that come in and like... Apaches? Yeah, like an Apache.

So it's Apaches, but not the Native American tribe, but the helicopters. This is not politically incorrect. Damn, I'm surprised that the Native Americans haven't come for the U.S. Army. They're like, you fucking changed the name of this. Well, you come at the U.S. Army, they send their Apaches to your village. They don't want smoke a second time. They already had their fucking running with the US Army and it didn't go good for the Native Americans.

I've always wanted to hear the sound of one of those Apache like rotor guns. Yes. It's so fast that it's constant. It's a buzz. It's not even that. No, not even. Yeah, it's a buzz no but it's not even that no not even yeah it's a buzz yeah it's a buzz because it's it's shooting like an electric razor yes like a dildo right

is that a dildo or an apache helicopter some woman's either getting off or an entire group of people are having their bodies ripped to shreds. What is that? A blind sound test? Damn. Dude, I got exposed online last night. Yeah, I know. I'm going through it bad.

What happened? He got exposed as an average baseball player. A casual. He's not even a casual. You don't watch a single regular season game. I probably watch like five regular season games.

Hell no. Maybe the ones that you go to. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like five to single regular season game. I probably watch like five regular season games. Hell no. Maybe the ones that you go to. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like five to 10 regular season games. When they're on TV, I just don't watch a lot of baseball. No one does.

I am a casual. But it's like- It's like boring as hell. But once the internet caught wind of that, it was pretty- What happened? How did you get exposed? I saw a dude on the Phillies, a relief pitcher, not even a starting pitcher, with a beautiful necklace.

I was like, where did Jose Alvarez get this necklace? I might have to cop one or something. And everyone's like, you guys didn't know that in August he made that as a team gift for the entire team? And everyone's like, oh my fucking God. Dude, fuck those people, man. No, no, it was everybody. Yeah, I was pumped when he was getting...

People like to see me take a L. People like to see me take a little L. Wow. And it was damning. And then I told it to my wife, and the whole night she was just like casual. Yeah. She was shitting on me.

She was? Yeah, she just loved it. I like it when my wife needles me, gives me shit, knocks me down. Totally. I like that a my wife needles me, gives me shit, knocks me down. Totally. I like that a little bit. Totally. But not too much. Too much and you're like...

And she's like, you blotchy... Whoa, whoa. You small dick bastards. Wait a fucking second. Isn't there a name for this? Isn't that a fetish? Like a dom? Yeah, I guess. Masochism?

Masochism is like you like pain. Dominisms, you like to get dominated. It could be just as simple as being spoken to. Belittled, probably. Kelly Keegs in here. Does she know this stuff? She definitely knows this.

She would stand on my bat wing scrotum in stilettos. Dude, she If I stretched it as thin as the wing of a bat, she would tap dance on it in stilettos? Oh my God. Would she not? It would be like stomp.

Probably. She would do Deion Sanders touchdown celebration on it. Gosh, I feel like it would go through to the floor. Kelly Keys. Probably. She'll even just go sometimes on Twitter and she'll be like, you like stupid fucking bitch. Like, I'll slap the fuck out of you. I like that.

It's kind of awesome. That always is the top of my feed too. And I don't know what that says about me. Tweets you may like. When I go into Twitter to the activity, it's always her telling some guy that his dick, she's going to cut it off, shove it down his throat.

Fucking like then tamp it down with like a chimney. You got to get in her jarring seeing those tweets just out in public. We shouldn't be seeing that. That should be for subscribers only or something. You got to pay extra for that kind of shit. It's like her ranting about Taylor Swift the whole day

and then just one tweet just being like, I'll saw your penis off with a circular saw and feed it to your parents. I'm going to pull out your asshole. What the hell? Like a magician pulling a fucking... An industrial vacuum on your butt to suck your dick i swear to god though francis you could get in the writer's room and like punch up some of that

stuff with her and just be like hey like let's workshop some of this fucking sadistic stuff she write it all herself because a lot of them i think a lot of them have a guy yeah but that's what might make her a unicorn in space that That she just can write her own copy. Wait, what do you mean she has a guy? Are you talking about... A lot of those OnlyFans girls have a writer's wife. Oh, is she saying this stuff on OnlyFans to guys? I think so, right?

Well, she says it on Twitter. She admits this? You have to assume that... I don't know about whether she's saying it on OnlyFans. I have a buddy, a comedian friend, whose name I won't name, but it rhymes... Let's just say... Julia?

Let's call say... Julia? It's called Mari because it rhymes with Ari, which is his name. And he... The guy who's naked on a skank? No, not Ari Shafir. But he dates an OnlyFans model. And he does a lot of her

correspondence for her. And they don't know. Really? And he talks to dudes and he's like, send me pictures of your dick, big boy, blah, blah, blah. That's crazy. Does she give him a cut? She gives him 15%. 15%? Yeah, something like that.

Yeah, I mean, they're probably making so much money and they're literally making money to do nothing. If they're not even the ones writing the messages, they're just getting paid. Well, they got to take pictures. They got to take sexy pictures. What do they do? They probably take a group of pictures once a month and then they're like, all ones writing the messages, they're just getting paid. They got to take pictures. They got to take sexy pictures. What do they do? They probably take a group of pictures once a month, and then they're like, all right,

done for the month. Dude, I don't want you to diminish the work. I'm not diminishing the work. I'm saying it's a great gig. But you're saying they do nothing. That's not true. They do all kinds of stuff. They got to keep their body in shape.

I'm not saying. I'm not saying. They have to keep their social presence up. They literally do nothing. They have to make sure that they're. They legitimately do absolutely nothing. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm saying it's a good deal.

Yeah. And then they pay a dude 15% to be like pulled out. Big boy. Or like they have to come up with a good name like Fleshlight 9000. Yeah.

Like that's crazy. I got to fucking get on that. All of them like at the as the OnlyFans came in for Glenny Ball's inaugural OnlyStands. Yeah. They all had like handlers. fucking get on that. All of them as the OnlyFans came in for Glenny Ball's inaugural OnlyStands, they all had handlers.

They had a handler, like the guy who was just working nine phones at once, just keeping up with their thousands. They probably are outsourcing it to a Siberian click farmer. 100%. There's probably just Russian guys who are in the lab with servers making the room hot as fuck. Just like buzzing

like the industrial gun on the side of a Blackhawk. I'll call that for you. I'm actively listening. Unlike this guy who just predictably listens. I know where this is going

and this is how it ends. Yeah, I got it right. Yeah, I nailed it. Yeah, but it wasn't hard. I telegraphed it. Yeah, but it was a funny joke. You said, oh, look, that fruit on the ground. Let me pick that up and show everyone. Yeah, exactly. And I did that.

I'm always going to take that opportunity to get the laugh. Andrew, do you feel better about this, Andrew? Do you feel better about this? Yeah. I feel like if I get up. I know. That's what I'm worried about too. That if you get up, it's going to break again.

You're good to hang out? A little bit behind. Andrew, while I so appreciate you standing by, if you could laugh more to let us know what's working... For you...

No, that's fine. We won't have any clue, but at least we'll be able to say like, oh, I remember 10 seconds ago, Francis said something funny. And then we can guess who it was that you were laughing at. Yeah, that's a good point. Yes, exactly.

A reverse lag. It's usually a lag. And if both of us have jokes that are close to each other, then we'll ask for a judge's ruling about which joke you were laughing at. For the record. Well, now that's going to really... No, no, no.

Stay locked in. But now we can talk shit and he won't even know for 10 seconds. We'll have 10 seconds to gather a weapon to defend ourselves. I bet he's going to laugh at this. Wait. 8, 7, 6... No, no, no. You're going to laugh at this. Wait. Eight, seven, six. No, no, no. You're going to be swinging that fucking helmet like Miles Garrett, dude.

You're going to have to defend yourself with that thing. With the Zenith. That's a beautiful Zenith. That is a good lid. Okay, I have a question. You might be a pro seven. You've been crushing it. Were you a pro seven guy? No, I didn't play football. I played lacrosse. Lacrosse helmet.

What? Pro seven? With Calf didn't play football. I played lacrosse. Lacrosse helmet. What? Pro 7? Cascade? Yeah. Was it? Yeah. That might have been after my time. Probably. I don't remember what... I was in like 6th grade when I had one, so you were probably what, 29? Yeah, I mean, me and your dad used to fucking hang.

He was a good guy. He could knock back beers. Your minnowed me my first fake id your dad was so much cooler than you probably yeah back with your dad fucking go to the go to the roast some s'mores yeah go tell some stories we were in boy scouts with your dad yeah i wouldn't be surprised sometimes your dad would be like i just don't know about harry and i'd be like give him time he'll be He'll be good. He's a good boy. I wonder if you guys ever crossed paths. I wonder if he watched my early rap battles on YouTube. Probably.

When they came out 14 years ago. He probably was. How old was your dad 14 years ago? My age? My age now? I'm a little older. Was he? Yeah. So he waited until later in life. Yeah. Interesting. I don't know. how old was he 14 years ago i don't fucking math i get to the bottom of this but that

would also involve you doxing your father which is the last thing you want to do exactly let's keep that shit under wraps anyway what were you saying about the gambling oh good i'm glad you did okay we needed that. So you've been crushing it gambling-wise. Yeah. I mean, I crushed it on Sunday, but that was pretty much it. On football? Yeah. And how many games did you bet? How many different games? Were you betting

props? What were you doing? Mostly just over, under, money line. Dude, I think you had a good game because you didn't do any bullshit parlay. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. You can't really do any crazy parlay. So you can't even, on the sportsbook there, you can't even parlay. I couldn't parlay Travis Kelsey anytime with Moneyline and over. But that's good for you.

But that's good because it didn't hit. Yeah, because you also would have done that. And you also cook up like $5 to win $700. Yeah, that's the most fun though. That's the best way to bet. No, you don't win that. Yeah, but it's more stressful when you have like $200 on a bet than when you have $5 on a bet.

Yeah, but that's where the thrill comes in. You're talking about riding a roller coaster versus like being in bumper cars. Yeah, but then you're not like losing sleep because you lost five bucks. I'm glad you said that. This is where I'm at. I am not sleeping

because I've lost so much money. Yeah. I'm down 16 units. My unit is $200. Jesus. I'm down 16 units. My unit is $200. Jesus. I'm down $3,200. My unit's like $4. Well, you know.

Different strokes. You guys got to tame it down. I just bet so I have fun watching the games. I'm not betting for financial gain. I would not have fun watching the game if I only had $4 running. Yeah, but if that $4 is going to pay out $27,000, you would? Your unit size should be how much you pay for pants.

Yeah, it is a good idea. I don't know. My unit size has gone up. That's what I would pay. It should be about how much you pay for pants. You pay $200 for pants? Probably like $100 to $200. That's crazy. I pay like $50. It's insane that there's Japanese denim. But Hairball, no one has ever looked at us together and been like,

boy, I can't tell who's paying more. Who's dressed better between the two of them? Today, actually, you might have me. Because I just came from the basketball court. I was hooping in my Kobe's. I think I might give you the nod today. Yeah, you're wearing fucking camouflage pants. Monetary value? Those are shorts.

I'd say these shorts are probably $90 shorts that you're wearing. Oh, over that. They're bird dogs. I get them for free. I think that these are bare bottoms. I get these for free. How'd you do that? How did I do that? Yeah. Ad deals? You guys

sobbed as sponsored by bare bottom? Yeah, bare bottombottom is awesome Yes that's a fact I'm a big fan I know you always have been They get more free advertisement from us than anyone else We rock them the most

We rock them constantly I really like their stuff I'm rocking them right now on the shorts but you probably have them on the shoes the entire way top to bottom

It's great Yeah these are good These are better They're just more expensive but I think that if your unit size is the same amount as a pair of pants, it will always protect you. Because how much do you think that Dave Portnoy is spending

on his most expensive pair of pants? 10 racks? $10,000 on pants? On pants? He also changes his pant style constantly. Come on. Nobody ever bought a pair. He just got baggy.

Two years ago, it was the skinniest pants I've ever bought a pair. He just got baggy. Two years ago, it was the skinniest pants I've ever seen and now it's all baggies. Yeah. What do you think makes him look better? The baggy, for sure. You think so? Yeah.

Skinny was crazy. Skinny makes him look taller, though. No. That's just fashion in general. He's following the trends. He is following the trends. He's plugged in with the Gen Z-ers. I think you just got to go to the store

and just get classic fit khakis. Who has to do that? You sound like my high school lacrosse team. Those are always going to be in style. No, they're not. Yeah, they are. Like Andrew's pants right now. Those are...

Those are gray jeans. Yeah, but those are classic fit. They are classic fit. Not too skinny. Not too tight. Not too baggy. I bet you those are fit twos, not fit threes. I don't know.

I don't even know what fit two or fit three means. He's wearing slim straights. No, he's not. He's wearing classic fits. Those are not classic fits. They are. Dude, classic fits have no shape. They're for people that sit behind computers all day.

Unlike us. How much time have you spent behind a computer today? Probably like nine hours. Come on. All I do is go on my computer today? Probably like nine hours. Come on. All I do is go on my computer. It's literally the only thing I do. I don't believe you. His job is literally sitting behind a computer.

No, he sits in front of computers. He sits in front of a bunch of screens, not behind the computer. Yeah, he's not sitting behind them. He's in front of them. Not all of us had time today to go fucking ball in the middle of the day. Just trying to make content for the New York office.

Keep pace with Chicago. But Sass, you also missed the entire era where Call Her Daddy ripped through this office like a fucking rush fire about khakis. They put like a fat twa on fucking khakis. You couldn't fucking wear khakis. You walk in with

khakis, Alex Cooper will be there fucking bat-winging your fucking ball sack and stomping on it in a Margiela heel. That would suck so much. These are red bottoms. Bloody shoes. Properly bloody. That would be such a bummer. I definitely

would have to throw away all my khakis and not buy more pairs of them. Wow, Sass is coming for eight months straight wearing khakis. How is Alice Cooper not tired of stomping on his balls? Groundhog Day. I guess I'm going to have to wear them again.

I would let her stomp on, yeah, around the balls. Yeah, like a Jewish wedding. I'd let her stomp on a shot glass shrouded by my ball sack. No, no. That would hurt so much more. I'd let her jump over my ball sack like a broomstick. No, yeah. I don't think I would.

No, no. I wouldn't let Alex Cooper actually stomp on my ball sack. No, I definitely wouldn't do that. I respect myself too much for that. I respect her too much to do that. Dude, I can't believe when we were recording on Monday, we had just kind of scratched the surface of Big Cat. You were like, yeah, Big Cat's getting it

from the Swifties right now. Yeah, he's getting drilled still. And now he is still on the fucking firing squad, dude. I don't know. Is he taking damage, you think? You think he's actually taking damage? I texted him. I told him to hold the line. I don't understand how people do that damage, you think? You think he's actually taking damage? I texted him. I told him to hold the line.

I don't understand how people do that. I would have deleted that video the second it got one bad quote tweet. The second one Swifty was like, this is fucked up. I would have deleted the video. That's what people were telling me to do about doxing myself as a casual. They're like, you could have just deleted that video right away. But his has like 10,000 quote tweets. I know. That's what I mean.

I'm leaving my shit up there, though. You got to stand by it because now it's... It would never not be... And then if you retreat from it... Then someone screen grabs it. They come at you harder. Yeah.

They come at you harder because they think, oh, you knew this was bad. Sometimes it is best to leave it up because if they screen grab, then it's out of your control. Right. Tweet was deleted is almost worse.

So much worse. Tweet was deleted. You made a mistake. Now it's really fucking get into it's 30 words really smell blood on his balls now i'm talking a river dance i'm talking like a spunky irish girl fucking tap dancing in the middle of a pub two toddlers playing on bubble wrap after a shipment comes in. Yeah, they're doing work on his nutsack. Do you think Sass that Big Cat made a mistake

with his tweet? Do you think that was tasteless? No, I don't think that was going to affect him at all. No, but just, you know, what do you think of the joke? That he said he wants them to have... I thought it was deece. I thought it was deece i thought it was i thought it was pretty funny yeah i actually liked it i believe i i i pft really went away unscathed from that yeah pft was just yeah he disguises a swifty yeah he said the same he was agreeing and saying

the same shit he's tagging yeah he was tagging it up yeah tag, tagging it up. Yeah, he went P&A. Yeah. Yeah, he did. Yeah, that's pretty funny. Which is worse. That's way worse. I would be disgusted if I saw a PDA from them, dude. I want them to keep their lives private as it should be. Enjoy yourselves. You don't have to do anything for us Swifties.

No. Us fans. I don't want to see them fuck at all. Yeah. At all. Yeah. I would hate to see it. Unless they't want to see them fuck at all. Yeah. At all. Yeah. I would hate to see it unless they want us to see it. Not even a little bit.

In which case, I would begrudgingly watch it. All right. I'm not asking for this help because I don't sexualize either of them. I genuinely don't want to see Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey having sex. Yeah. I don't sexualize. I've never pictured her naked at all. I could see her fucking him with a strap on though.

100%. Why? I don't know. He's a little weird to me. I'm not a huge Travis Kelsey guy. What makes you think that he takes it like that? Because I could see her being someone that wants to give it and him being like, I'll take it.

If I know her as well as I think I do, she's only doing that if he is asking for it. I don't think so. You think it's her desire leading that? Yeah. And then he says, okay, I'll do what you want. I think he's all bark, no bite. Huh. Meanwhile, she's a girl boss. And she's a

girl boss. She's a girl queen boss. I think she probably runs shit. She's a female king. Yeah. If you know what I mean. Would you let her do that to you? Taylor Swift? Yeah. No. Why not? Because I don't want anyone shoving fucking shit up my ass. Not shit. What if it was a

clean stiletto heel? No. I'm not into ass play. Do you know that? You're not old enough. No. You're not old enough, son. Trust me. I talked to your dad about this. He was worried at that same campfire. He's like, I'm worried my boy will never be in the ass play.

We said someday he'll come around. He just needs time. Yeah. He'll enjoy it someday. Oh, man. It's always good to be able to touch on the hot button topics of the day. Taylor Swift and Big Cat. And Big Cat.

Travis Kelsey. Do you think she saw that video? Swift? Yeah. Might have. I don't know. You think she's on Twitter? No.

Not a lot of people are on Twitter. You get to a point you don't have to be. No. She's probably on Instagram, though. If someone posted on Instagram, she probably saw it. It's all the same people on Twitter. It's like five guys. It's probably like that same Siberian click farm,

just all talking to each other. Shell accounts, Shell corporations. The fact that anything's going viral anymore is crazy. Oh, yeah. It's like a 360-degree snowball fight where everyone's just throwing in a circle, throwing all snowballs at each other. Dude, remember when stuff started really going viral and tweets would get 60,000 likes

after there hadn't been that high of a ceiling? The ceiling was like 5,000 likes or something like that. And then it was like 100,000 likes. Yeah. 300,000 likes. A fucking million likes. I've never been in that stratosphere. Dude, anytime I used to have a tweet that would get 100,000 likes. A fucking million likes. I've never been in that stratosphere. Dude, anytime I used to have a tweet that would get like 100,000

likes, it would be featured on BuzzFeed and all these lists. Because that was like the biggest tweet of the week. And now it's like, oh shit, look at this homeless dude jerking off and then three dudes in fucking bandanas came and murdered him and then there was a cop

who killed those guys. And that's like, oh shit, that was the tweet of the week. I had avoided that for a while. I'd avoided the death tweets for a while. And then last night they came rushing back onto my timeline. The fucking like everybody. And it's all the same accounts, whether they're liberal or super conservative, they're all posting the same exact videos

with the most like bizarre slant on the shit. Have you seen that? I caught a bad one last night. An accident. I think Elon knows that's not what I'm into. And I did see the one... There was a video out of Philly, Roan, where... The guy jumps on the back of the car?

The car drives through a group of people and then the cop chases him down, rams into him, and then gets up over the car and points his gun in the window as the guy's putting his hands... It was the most cowboy stuff. All the comments were like,

I don't like the police in general, but that was pretty impressive police work. Everyone was like, that's a great cop. Fuck the cops, but that guy's a fucking legend. They're like, I don't subscribe to police, but you know. All my timeline is right now is just videos of

people stealing shit from Home Depot. Yeah, and the Home Depot guys getting in formation, like getting in a 3-2, just like a zone defense to try and stop someone. I saw a really funny one yesterday of some dude trying to steal an iPhone from the Apple store. have you guys seen this one i don't know they're like baby it's not gonna work and he's just he's just he's just still trying to get the iphone out but

it's like drilled into the table and he and they're like they're all just sitting there like all the apple employees are just sitting there like laughing like dude you're not going to be able to get the phone they start feeling bad for for him. Yeah, and he's like so... He's just so embarrassed that he just keeps trying and eventually just gives up and walks away. They don't even prosecute him? Well, he didn't steal anything. Dude, there's no way he could get it. But there's like all these...

He's still trying. But there's like laws in certain states now where it's like if you don't steal something under $500, or if you steal something and it's under $500, they can't arrest you. They can't arrest you. They can't chase you. There's nothing they can do. That's why all those videos are all over the place. People are pissed about

that for some reason. Dude, you know what I realized has stopped happening is buddy cop movies. There's not in the 80s, the 90s, the early 2000s. Every movie was this fucking like lethal weapon like

two renegade cops that were just like on the fucking land like Beverly Hills Cop and shit like that and there's like the other guys chase scenes

they're like hanging out the back of a car fucking shooting bad guys or whatever Lilo and Stitch yeah Lilo and Stitch dude fucking Rizzoli and Isles

bingo yeah all these all these guys. It was a massive genre. And now this shit doesn't exist at all anymore. Now, even if you make a cop movie or show, it's got to be like Blue Bloods, where it's about the internal drama of a family of cops

or something like that. Yeah. You don't... It's like both the cops are having sex with the same girl. The two brothers are, or some shit like that. It can't be about them like shooting bad guys anymore. Right. Where I guess damage from big chase scenes where the car crests a hill and gets air and then comes down the other side.

And I think you know whose fault I think it is. Derek Chauvin. Dude, I think that the worst thing that he's done. Remind me of who that is. I don't know who the fuck that is. We know who that is. Derek Chauvin? Oh, he's the one who killed George Floyd? Yeah. Oh, shit.

Yeah, I'm not really on a name-to-name basis with those dudes. Well, dude, you have to learn their names. That's a big one. Because the worst thing that he ever did was ruin buddy cops. Yeah, he did do that. That's fucked up. That was super fucked up. That was back when they were posting all the cops from all the shows, like Andy Sandberg

in Brooklyn. What is it? Brooklyn 99. And they were like, ACAB. There's a picture of Andy Sandberg in a cop costume. Yeah. That was a big trend. It was like ACAB, even the fucking cops on TV. Sass once told me that, quietly in confidence, that in that whole George Floyd

thing, he was actually on Derek Chauvin's side. He's a chauvinist. I said you're a chauvinist pig. I stepped on yours again. God damn it. I'm just telling jokes that are so predictable that I can't. You got to dig deeper. I got to try. It's a high IQ show.

If it's that bad that you guys can just cheat code your way to the fucking punchline, then I suck. I'm going to leave because I'm hungry. No, you're allowed to finish your, then I suck. I'm going to leave because I'm hungry. No, you're allowed to finish your job. You know what I'm going to do is I'm going to start doing things where I'm like, you think I'm going this way and then I'm going to take

a total right turn. Yeah, but even as soon as you think you're going to trick me, I've already got the punchline ready to go. I think you're on his ass, dude. I think that you can fucking give him the old okie doke. But first, can we talk about GameTime for a second? Talk about it. GameTime.

GameTime.co. You have to go to GameTime. Download the app today. I went to the Eagles game this weekend, and I bought the tickets the night before via GameTime, the simplest app that you could use possibly. I picked exactly where I wanted to sit, a throw. I picked exactly what side i wanted to be in the sweltering sun so i could almost had a heat stroke and i picked exactly what team i wanted to win the eagles and game time orchestrated all of it you want your team to win

buy your tickets through game time you want to have a fun memorable experience at the game buy your tickets through game time you want to make a memory with someone that you love very much? Buy your tickets through game time. I'm going to Paramore on Friday. That's going to be awesome. Cool. I got my tickets off of fucking game time. What's your top Paramore song? Rose Color Boy. Nice.

You like that one? That was a good ass... That was a deep cut. Not that deep, but deep enough where it's not basic. Yeah, I don't know it. Really? You haven't listened to After Laughter? That's their best album. No, I want to listen to the big one. Ain't it fun? Yeah. Yeah, I love that album.

Dude, that's fucking fire. What was their first one? Ain't it fun? Well, I never meant to brag, but I got him where I want him now Yeah That one's a fucking crack rock

They got so many But it doesn't matter Because GameTime has you covered No matter where you're going No matter what you're doing You want to be getting tickets Through GameTime The best ticketing app out there

And I stand by that So does this entire show It is I use GameTime all the time It's the best I also like to just browse it occasionally. Yeah.

It's fun to just see what the deals are. Yeah. I wonder how because you can sort by city. That's one of the best things you could just be like, oh, I'm in Philly tonight.

What's what's on the docket? What are some potential fun things that I could do? And there's a fucking ton of them. Totally. There's a fucking shit ton of them.

So game time. Go to game time today. Fuck yeah. Hell yes. Your hair. Your hair settling in, bro. It looks a little bit better. Now it's it's all I know. I know.. Go to game time today. Fuck yeah. Hell yes. Your hair is settling in, bro. It looks a little bit better. I know. I was trying to be charitable.

It doesn't look as bad on... It's throwing me off. It's throwing off my vibe. Not gonna lie. Don't say that. Portland this weekend. Oh shit. Tomorrow, actually. That's the second Portland, right? Yeah. Portland, Maine. Is the number one. Yeah. I'm going to Portland, Oregon. And yeah, so get tickets to that, please.

Five shows out there. That'll be fun. Portland actually has, despite being a pretty liberal city right now, they have a very dark and racist past. Yeah, dude. What I was going to say was, when I said I caught a bad video last night, dude, I'm going to go fishing when I'm out there. Because I got to take it easy. I'm not going to drink.

And I looked up. I'm going fishing on the Clackamas River. And imagine what they did to the Clackamas tribe. Dude. Think about the nasty things. Look up the Philip Bernard Lashlaw. I looked up Clackamas River on Reddit. And the first thing that came up was just a video of a mass shooting.

What? Yeah. And then there's a whole subreddit dedicated to videos like that. To the Clackamas shooting? I looked up Clock of Us River on Reddit and the first thing that came up was just a video of a mass shooting what? yeah and then there's a whole subreddit like dedicated to videos like that to the Clock of Us shootings? I did not click on it because I was like

fuck that but kind of a big one yeah to just like throw on my timeline like that also why is that

a whole subreddit? like those videos shouldn't be allowed on the internet on Reddit especially Reddit like cracked down on like comedian subreddits and they're like

no no no you guys want to have a mass shooting? Yeah. Safe space for you to watch gore. It's so fucking weird, dude, that all that shit's just allowed online. It doesn't make any sense. That's freedom of speech, dude. Shout out to Elon Musk.

Yeah. He fucking saved it. Yeah. He made it so good for people to be able to get rich. The first 10 years I was on Twitter, I was pissed. I was like, I'm not seeing enough dead bodies on my timeline. And now it's just perfect. You can literally buy a mansion

by posting dead bodies. You can make fucking $20,000 a month. You can have a coastal estate just through posting death on Twitter. Literally, dude. There's people up in the Hollywood hills right now who are like, yeah, I run crazy videos, bruh. Yeah, I made 70 mil last month.

It's like a white Jewish dude dude who's like i run hood clips yeah it is a nasty a nasty thing it's like the fucking crypto bubble people have yachts off of san trope based on fucking like it's the crypto bubble but i feel like this is i mean this isn't going this is going strong this is like one of those this is like a sustainable long bubble it's like the bubbles you know what i mean literally a sustainable career that these guys are making right now yeah it really is and elon set it up that way elon paid 44 billion dollars in cash so these people could do this exactly he could have just given people money directly made them rich and kept the death off of the internet but he wanted to be like fucking a media mogul of his day.

He was trying to be like William Randolph Hearst and control the media. Dude, if that was a thing back when I was tweeting a lot, I think I would be a multimillionaire right now. Oh, if you could have made money off your tweets? Yeah, you would have been up there. Yeah. Easily. I mean, you just casually bragged about how you would get 100,000 likes on a tweet.

Like, yeah, back when I used to get 100,000 likes on a tweet, they'd throw it on BuzzFeed. All the time. And you probably deleted half of them with your dumbass. You're stupid as hell. You're stupid as hell. No, no, no. You're stupid as hell. No, you are. Francis, how about this one? This is fun.

Holy shit. Francis, let's get to the bottom of this one. I stopped speaking minutes ago. How was Gotham, dude? Gotham was fine. They fucked me. Why? Because on Friday, we had sold out the show and then it was the flood.

Oh, no. And people were calling being like, I can't come. And normally they have a no refunds policy, but they refunded a bunch of tickets. What the hell? Where was this? They were like, yeah, we're not paying you a lot. So you didn't get paid?

I mean, I haven't been paid yet, but they are saying it's like... Force majeure? Half the money for that show. Really? Yeah. That sucks. That's not your fault, though.

Yeah, I don't really know whose fault it is. It's Mother Nature's fault. I mean... It's G.O.D.'s. It sucks, dude. Yeah, that sucks. It sucks so much. It's like I sold the tickets.

Yeah. I don't know. It's like one of my biggest markets. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. This was my big headlining stand. I saw that you're doing the Gramercy Theater. Yeah. Am I not supposed to announce that?

No, you can. I think we're doing it. Oh, you guys are? Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry. No, I didn't know. I told you a while ago, and I had a feeling you weren't going to remember that. The Gramercy Theater? Isn't that big?

No, it's like 400, 500. Is it Gramercy? Yeah. That sounds big. It's not that big. Yeah, I told you this a really long time ago. I told you this like eight months ago, probably. When are we doing this? Nine months ago. I don't know. You told me in Austin? Yeah, it was right after Austin.

You just posted the thing. You just posted a story. That's where I saw it. Yeah. Oh, true. I forgot't know. You told me in Austin? Yeah, it was right after Austin. You just posted the thing. You just posted like a story. That's where I saw it. Yeah. Oh, true. I forgot that that was in there. Bro, do you think I could get paid? Yeah, you would get paid. Just like I got paid for Austin? Yeah, we actually got to figure that out. I don't care. I legitimately don't care, which is very

lucky for you. No, we got to figure out the grammar C. That's a pretty big room. It's not that big. You just said it's not big! It's not that big. He's right. It's not that big. You just said it's not big. It's not that big. He's right. It's not that big. It sounds bigger than it is. It's like 500 tickets in like two weeks. What? I think so.

When? Soon. What day? I don't know, dude. Tell me now. I want to talk about it off the air because now I'm getting tired of sweat. You need to run this stuff by us dude tell me what us yes son of a son of a boy dad no you would be on it if we do it for sure fuck that yeah i don't know what i've got i have too much stuff we are comedy fest you actually want me on that when is it i don't know figure out the date dude we need to plug this right now

it's just the worst I know I think it's November it's like the weekend of November 10th Veterans Day it's Tyler's birthday all right cancel it that's Diwali bro November 10th

what's Diwali an Indian holiday I thought it was like a fucking November 10th it What's Diwali? An Indian holiday. Oh, I thought it was like a fucking November 10th. I thought it was like some festival. It's Diwali Fest. Are you booked for that? Are you around that? Dude, I'm observing Diwali.

Or it's someday during that week. It's the Friday. It's Friday November 10th. You have it on the list. Well, I'm also doing it because I'm also headlining the stand. God damn it, dude. I need to make sure I can do that shit. If you can, we'll just do... Stand up. We'll figure something out.

I'll try and make it. I definitely did tell you about it a really long time ago. Yeah, you probably did. I can find the messages because I know I told you about it. No, I'm not blaming you. It is messages because I know I told you about it. No, I'm not blaming you. I just... It is partially my fault because I completely forgot about it. It's also partially my fault. No, it's

a month and a week or so away. We'll sell those tickets. Yeah, we'll sell that. We'll sell that bitch out. Is there a company meeting happening directly behind, directly outside this door? Sounds like it. What is that? It's probably... It is son of a

boy, dad? I think. That's you too. Oh, it shouldn't be that much. We'll fix that. Can you put the ticket link in the chat? That's like a mean girl ticket, bro. Wait, is that all the tickets are $48 or just like some VIP shit

and then the rest are like $35? $48. You can sit in the green room with us. Yeah, we'll get that down. $48. How much is standard? Wow. See, everybody, I've been saying for a long time that this is sass. $64.

$64. $50. Dude, I didn't even know this was a thing until right now you really need two more quarters what is the 50 all about

this fucking guy over here bro 50 cent over here get rich or die trying I guess die over here Jesus Christ dude must be nice

greedy greedy must be nice but I'm sure that I'll see like fucking a little bit from that show. Let's just cancel it. No, no,

no. I need my chance to get my reps up on stage in Austin. We were fucking eating. Yeah. That was a lot of you. That was like a hundred people. I'm more intimate. No,

it was 300 people. Was it? Yeah. Yeah. No, what's not the Creek. It was, uh,

what's it called? Um, helium, whatever they have city. Oh, city. Of they... Cap City. Of course, Cap City. Great room. Incredible room. They didn't sell it at the balcony, but probably a Phantom of the Opera situation up there.

What does that mean? I've seen that, but I... The Phantom of the Opera? Yeah. He stays in the gallows, drops down... Have you ever read the book? He drops a fucking noose down. Has anyone ever read the book? I have. I didn't know there was a book. He drops nooses down from the second level and fucking hangs everybody.

So everybody walks around the theater like this in case a noose gets dropped around so they can slip out of it. You guys didn't get that reference? No, I got it. This happens in the musical? Yeah, it does happen in the musical because they drop the noose from the fucking catwalk. Oh, at the start of the

second act, they're like, masquerade. Every face a different shade. Masquerade. And then the guy's hanging right after that. At the end of that, West State coach is like, masquerade. He's like a Travis Scott song. That type of shit, dude. We low-key are fucking theater nerds in here.

Let's keep it a buck, dude. We've only ever talked about Phantom of the Opera. It's still great. Christine Dyer. He loves it. Dude, once we get off Broadway. Once we get our money off Broadway forever. Light unfurls its splendor.

It's probably the kind of thing that plays everywhere. No, but I think it was literally adjusted. It's like last week's umbrella. But it'll come back. Open up your heart. It definitely will come back. What's your favorite song from that one? Oh, but no.

Music of the Night. That's probably my favorite. That's what you're singing. I like Masquerade. In sleep he came to me. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a good one. Yeah, that one's electric.

In dreams he sang to me. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a good one. Yeah, that one's electric. In dreams he sang to me. The Phantom of the Opera is here. That sounds distinct. Yeah. That one's a bang. He's there. The Phantom of the Opera. It's good.

Dude, once we make our money from this show, once you make your money, take us out. Once you make your fucking $18,000 that you're going to make from selling out 400 tickets at $65. Yeah, we're not going to do... Let's do the math.

We'll bump that down. It's $26,000, I think. Oh, well. And that's 51% for your agent. $65. I got to figure it out. $400 would be $66. Well, $64.50 would be...

I would just... $25, $25, $800. Yeah. All right. All right. Yeah. We'll probably see like $900 of that. Yeah. Oh, well, your agent's got to eat. Drink tickets.

Yeah. We're going to be barking on the corner for it. Sold out show, but just so we can get a couple extra people in their standing room. 100%. Whatever the fire code is, I actually know some firefighters, so we'll have them wave the fire code. We'll get Spud in there. We'll get Spud in there. That's what it should be. The live show should be Spud and Francis. If you can't do it, Roan, we'll have Spud and Francis fill in.

Oh my God. Yeah, that would be awesome. We'll have a proper duel on stage. No, they're on good terms now. The boys have settled everything. We squashed, man. We squashed it up. He came to me.

Yeah. He came to me and he was like, I'm sorry. And I was like, I accept your apology. Like men. That's crazy. Like men, because they I'm sorry. And I was like, I accept your apology. Like men. That's crazy. Like men, because they're too big. Like Gilly said, bro, he's not about all this ego shit anymore. He's staying out of the streets.

He's not on no gangster shit no more. I'm saying I've been staying out of the streets for the recent life. Yeah, you're not on no gangster shit no more either. I had to calm down. I had to take it down a notch. Because you're on some gangster shit. You're riding around on your fucking four-wheeler, popping wheelies. Dude, seeing like Tim Butterly and Mike Rainey freak out about those... you're on some gangster shit. You're riding around on your fucking four wheeler popping wheelies. Dude.

Seeing like, uh, like Tim Butterly and Mike Rainey freak out about those, uh, about the fucking dirt bike guys in Philly is so funny. How did, why do they, they're like,

I hope all of these guys die. They hate them so much. Dude. Well, when you were talking about the Philly video earlier, one of the videos I saw was like this guy, uh, like probably just like a rowdy Hispanic teen who fucking climbed up on the backilly video earlier. One of the videos I saw was like this guy, like probably just like

a rowdy Hispanic teen who fucking climbed up on the back of a car. Yeah. Jumping on this lady's car. That was when it went viral. Yeah. Broke the window

where the kids were inside. Yeah. Oh, I read about that. Then he pulled a gun on her. His gun falls out. I don't know if she's a lesbian. No, she was in there with her wife.

You didn't read the article? No. She was in there with her wife. Bro, read the fucking article. All right. She was a lesbian. Okay. And did you see how brave she was in there with her wife You didn't read the article? No She was in there with her wife Bro read the fucking article Okay She was a lesbian Okay And did you see how brave she was?

She was clearly a lesbian She went right up to that dude's face With the gun Yes dude She didn't give a fuck about the gun Lesbians are the bravest of our sisters They are They're not afraid of a strap

Not a Yeah But yeah she got out And was like so But like even the biker Just like the fact that he jumped on her shit broke it with kids in there and had the audacity to point a fucking gun in her face i might be with butterly and rainy on this one oh dude they hated they hate them they are just

loud to be loud but it's also like i think that that's like a decently constructive way to spend your time what doing that i mean dude they're, they're just causing a ruckus. But what the fuck is wrong with a ruckus? Who cares about a ruckus? Well, dude, I mean, I get, like, if you want to be in the 12 o'clock gang and you want to be riding around like that, but there's no reason to be jumping on people's cars.

Yes, I agree. And then pulling guns on them when they get mad about it. Yeah, I agree. Like, what did he expect was going to happen? Like, so he was going to jump on that lady's car, she was going to get mad, and then he was going to kill her. Like that's fucking crazy.

And they're literally next to City Hall. Yeah. Like killing her. There was cops like in the background. Yeah. They like panned over. They got a gun against her head. And the cops are just like, yeah, kids will be kids.

And luckily she was the most badass woman alive. I know. She picked up the gun? No, she just went like pressed it against her head. Oh shit. Shoot me. I've never seen this. It's awesome. It goes all the way to that, she just went like, pressed it against her head. Oh, shit. I've never seen this. It's awesome.

It goes all the way to that? But she's like so frustrated. She like gathers, she's a baby and like a five-year-old in the car. She like gathers the kids and walks away with her wife. Just like so pissed off,

like abandons her car. Because even all these other bikers, these morally bankrupt dudes are just like, hey, bro, maybe don't point a gun at this lady's head who you just jumped through

her fucking back window. When does she put the gun and push it against her for she didn't literally put she pointed he points the gun and she doesn't back she continues to walk towards him and then she kicks over his bike while he's on it he is like he's like a skinny loser he just like pick his fucking gun up yeah or his bike up sorry what's the solution for this? There is no solution. Dude, they tried to. It used to be. Close the borders, man. They used to have like crazy chases

with the police and those bikers. And then so many people were dying. It's that they're not even allowed to chase them anymore. It's nuts. Because they go like fucking a thousand miles per hour and they're driving on like the wrong side of traffic and shit. Also, those dudes like will wrap themselves around a fucking steel beam oh yeah that's why they stopped chasing them they were dying like that so often i'm just happy we didn't lose meek

no meek got the short end of the stick i think used to be in the 12 o'clock gang he's bike life yeah but also he got literally put in jail for doing a wheelie in new york yeah do you know what the 12 o'clock gang is or i have to i honestly thought that was something you made up no it's they and i thought it was a really funny they ride their bikes at 12 o'clock all the way up yeah you ever seen them do it i have it's fucking awesome i don't understand how the bike doesn't tip over backwards i don't know either uh dude it would be so sick though to do that like growing up like to have it before you got out of school and you're like, you eat supper. And they're like, all right, time to go ride.

These boys ain't eating supper. Oh, no, they're eating supper. They're eating dinner. These boys are rowdy. They're not supper. They're not sitting around the table. May I please be excused? Mommy?

Ma, Pa, can I be excused? I have to go ride. Finish your string beans, son. Make sure to wear your helmet. 30 minutes later, they're fucking jumping through a fucking pregnant lady's car. Well, do you have your Glock on you? Don't leave the house without your strap. Don't leave the house without your nine, son.

What? No. Pull that bitch up. No, is that actually meek? I think this is like... I think it's... No, this isn't actually Meek. God, no. This isn't Meek. Oh, man. I can't load it.

Let me see. Yeah. Here it is. I don't really understand how they just bounce up from these. Oh! Something like that. How do you just... Meek is not going to be wearing an open zip-up hoodie on a fucking Kawasaki Crock Rocket.

An open zip-up hoodie like that with his pants sagging and some fucking Jabril jeans. Hell no. Don't get it wrong. I've been rocking all leather. No, you wouldn't wear leather. I would definitely wear leather. You ain't a letterman.

You'd want to wear leather because then when you fall fall you don't get hurt the cow hide there's this one dude bike life rex he does it on yeah on a bicycle on a bicycle and he does like food reviews while he's doing it it's fucking awesome but he's not really causing any trouble well he used to because he used to the streets love bike bike bike life rex can't speak right now he would do he would like go straight. He'd be 12 o'clock gang going directly at a septa bus and then swerve out of the way at the last time. So that kind of causes trouble.

That does cause trouble. The ultimate badass move, though, is to remove your front wheel. You're like, I don't even fucking need it. Yeah. That's cool. That is. That's what I used to do. Francis and I biked over here.

We're bike life. We made it quick. We were in the 3 o'clock gang. You took a turn that was, I thought, a risky turn. Were you guys swerving or no? I was swerving a little bit. You left on... 8th. You crossed.

We were on 23rd and you went up 8th. And you cut in front of traffic that was coming through the... I would honestly be down to swerve after this if you have to... The avenue. Get out there on the e-bikes. Bro, he couldn't keep up with I would honestly be down to swerve after this if you guys were here. Get out there on the e-bikes. He couldn't keep up with us. The way we were swerving... You don't know how to ride a bike. I grew up swerving. Francis is nasty. He'll split the traffic.

You can tell he's like a skier. He'll split a row of cars because they say in downhill skiing, the way you don't fucking Kennedy yourself, the way you don't wrap yourself around a tree is you have to watch the space in between. And I can see the taxes. You kept up.

You were ahead of me, in fact. I'm locked with you. He rides every day. He rides a lot. I ride every day. I took five rides yesterday. Should we look? Do you want to check?

No. To see whose stats are higher? Me or you? No, you just said that Roan rides more than I do. Let's pull up our stats. Let's check City Bike stats. Let's see what my spend is on City Bike. I'm just tired of fucking Sass blowing all this bullshit smoke.

Yes. I just don't want to disrespect Roan because I know he swerves like that. Ride history. Where do I get that? You ride in from Brooklyn? Oh, yeah. Why don't you guys ride together? You guys are fucking neighbors. We have done. That sucks.

Okay. Let's see here. This is October 1st to 7th. You took 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. I've taken 1, 2, 3. Alright. You've got one more than me. 24th to the 30 the first and seventh yeah one two three four but those are all zero charge or what's those those are non-electric bikes oh so i have three zero charges and then i had five six so we're exactly tied nine ten i had ten between the first and the 7th. This is a dumb one. Can't you see the number of miles and shit?

Isn't that a fun way to look? That would be a fun way to look, but they kind of removed all of that. You know that? Or didn't they change the... I was making that up. Chaz isn't a real city biker, bro. Come join 12 o'clock gang with us. Bro, I might go to the fucking

10 o'clock gang, dude. I'm going to be on a reverse wheelie. I'm not even going to be straight up and down. I'm going to have my ass dragging on the ground. Doing one of these things. Have you ever seen the ones dragging the hand? Have you ever seen the ones when they're pushed back and they're dragging their hands on the

ground? I have. I've seen those. That is cool. Those guys are just on their way to fucking an early grave. That shit is so fucking scary. It is scary. That's why I'll take it. You know what would probably help is if the city of Philly put in like a track where they could just go ride freely.

No, they don't want to ride freely. They wouldn't want to do that. That takes away the fun. They want to ride on the streets. Yeah. You need to be able to grab onto it. You need to hitch a little bit. Hitch and slalom.

Like Will Smith. That movie was about Will Smith riding on the back of a bike in Philly with Kevin James driving the UPS truck. I haven't been sketching in a while. Sketching? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was hitching. Sketch is the skateboard one.

Yeah. have you ever skitched uh skitched school you didn't see that one yeah that was out on left field you didn't finish that Francis has a little off speed action that we didn't expect

he added another pitch to his arsenal it was fucking dangerous. Skitching school. I'm going to start throwing stupid puns at you. You won't be able to keep up with that, Sass. Good luck catching the punchline to those. The more puns, the better on this show. It's a pun show.

Yeah, it is. Dude, I heard today is going to be the last day over 80 degrees until fucking April or May. That's what the weatherman said. No, that fucking April or May. That's awesome, too. I'm ready for the fucking cold weather. No, that fucking sucks, dick. Today is nice out.

Today is like a nice over 80. It's like a cool 80. No, it sucks out. I want it to be cold today. I want it to be in the 70s. Well, it'll be in the 50s by Monday. I like that. So fucking enjoy that.

No, you're not a 50 guy. That's probably why you're 64 for the 6450 for these tickets dude just because you love the 50s yeah I don't know why that's insane 6450 is green

we got a job we got a fucking I'm going to talk to someone as soon as this ends they probably took the that's crazy numbers and we're like

yeah this proof of concept clearly you you added that 50 cent I didn't add anything increment I didn't I don't have a50 increment. I didn't add anything. I don't have a say in this.

I didn't even know the ticket link was up. You said to yourself, if I listed at the full $65, everyone's going to think, oh my God, that's so much. But $64.50 looks a lot cheaper. No. And then what is the ticket fee?

Then there's probably like a $30 fee. Yeah. That's crazy. You're definitely going to help move some tickets. Yeah, we are not high rollers. Well, we are now. What the fuck is New York? What's New York Comedy Fest? It's just a festival. It's just shows. I don't understand how

these cities have festivals, but there's no unifying event. It's nothing crazy. It's like fucking restaurant week. Some of the festivals are unifying events. Yeah. I would say like Moon Tower, JFL, stuff like that has a central heartbeat. There's

like people come in for it. You get your bracelet. You go to all kinds of different shows. There's like after parties. Skank Fest is cool though because it's all in one building. Oh. There's like six stages in one building. So it's like everyone is in the same place the whole time. It's sick. Because even Moon Tower, I mean Moon Tower is

like everything's close, but it still is like you got to move around. But at least there was that last event where everybody's like singing karaoke or whatever the fuck that was. Yeah, the Goddamn Comedy Jam. Of course, the Goddamn Comedy Jam. How could I forget? Yeah, with Josh Adam Myers. Sorry to the good folks of Austin. I did not mean to show any disrespect to the city.

But yeah, it's fun. Have you done that one? Moon Tower? No. Or the Jam? No. Have you done JFL either, you guys? No. Bro, I was performing in Toronto when I was fucking younger than you, Seth. You what? You were performing in Toronto? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, when I was younger

than you. I mean, I performed in Toronto too. Not at JFL? No, not at JFL. Neither did you though. The battle rap clip that I posted today is I was younger than you in that clip. Really? How old were you? 21. That's amazing. 14 years ago though, but aren't you 14 years older than me?

No. 13 years older than me? Well, you're 34, yeah? 35. Well, grown ass man. Grown ass man? Grown ass man? Grown ass man. Old ass man. I wonder when I'll start aging. How long do you think we'll do this podcast?

Like, you think when I'm 30, we're still going to be doing it and you're going to be 45? You already have made this observation joke. You're like, no, you said by the time you turn 40, I'm out. No way. We said that? You said that? Hell no. You're bailing on me within my fucking... I just don't know what you're going to want to do.

This is a blast. I have a blast with this. We're having fun, right? I was earlier. What happened? Sass started cucking all my jokes. Bastard. I didn't cuck dick.

You cucked me. Andrew's having a blast. Yeah, we're having a blast. We're having a fucking blast. It's just something to think about. Do we have a retirement plan? I'm trying to, dude. I'm about to put all my money into fucking...

401k? Long yield. I'm going to start getting conservative. I'm going to put it all in bonds. Yeah, I got to do that too, dude. Bond yields are high right now. Monday night. Huh? What got to do that too. Bond yields are high right now. Monday night. Huh?

What'd you say, Francis? Bond yields are high right now. Are they? Yeah. 5%. Five and a half. Damn. Treasury bonds.

As high as they've been in a long time. And then even money market funds are yielding quite a lot right now. Yeah. Everyone's saying, just put it all in the money market. Having money in cash is good. Just put it in a money market fund. What is a money market fund? Basically, just's saying just put it all in the money market. Having money in cash is good. Just put it in a money market fund.

What is a money market fund? Basically, just like saying I have money in cash, but it's with your bank and it's going to kick off interest. So what if you have all of your money in cash? You get better interest in the money market. Are you invested in stocks? I have some investments in stocks. Are you invested?

I have some investments in stocks. Can you hook me up with your guy? Dude, you just got your first credit card. Let's put your money in safe shit. Okay, first of all, I did not just get my first credit card. You just did. I had two credit cards. Yeah, you did?

Yeah. You got the Delta one? Yes, you know that because I gave you all my fucking miles. You didn't give me your miles. I shouldn't have even used that fucking card. And then you got fucking someone else. You got Tommy under his wings. It's like we're passing fucking syphilis around. It's a Ponzi

scheme, dude. It's literally a pyramid scheme. I don't fuck with it, though. I don't like it. I don't like how I'm signing up for this credit card and he's getting a bunch of money. I didn't get that much. 10,000 miles? That's nothing. That's crazy. That's nothing. That's crazy. That's nothing. That's a first class seat. No, it's $100 in credit on Delta.

It's dog shit. The benefits of that sign up for people you give your referral to are not good. Dude, and silver. I know we already talked about this. We don't have to get into it. People don't like when we... That's all we talk about. That's the most sentences I've ever heard you in a row finish on the way up. That one.

Just there. We don't have to talk about that. Don't talk about that. I just don't want to get into it again because I feel like it's all I think about because it is. Right now, all I've been thinking about is just catching these goddamn salmon up in Oregon. If anyone has any good spots, let me know. You're not going to catch a single salmon.

Dude, I am. I've been doing so much research. You're going to catch a mass shooting while you're up there. I better not. You better get to catch a mass shooting while you're up there. I better not. You better get a Kevlar vest on. If anyone out there from Portland, Oregon is listening to this, my plan is I'm going to hit the clock, Muzz, and I'm going to be going for coho salmon fishing. And I'm going to be using some dry, some leeches,

some egg-sucking leeches as flies. Dude, your little fucking Mattel rod is going to snap in half. I'm good. You have Fisher Price. My plan is, the only problem is I don't know where to go on the clock because everyone says go further up.

The further up you go, the better the fish are. I just don't know where to pull over and fish. Chat, where should he go? If anyone wants to hit me up after this and give me their secret spot. Because it's, dude, I'm looking at local fishing reports and everything. They're all like, dude, the co-hosts are fucking out of control this year. They're coming in hard.

And like right now is prime season. So I'm flying in early tomorrow and I'm going to, I got to wet a line before the shows. Are you actually flying in tomorrow? Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with you? Well, I'm not flying in early. That was the only option. But you're going to

fish tomorrow. Oh, yeah. 100%. Also, let me know if I need to wait or if I can just wear my fucking wet wading pants. Because I'm not bringing waders at the moment. It's just you are like spinning off the face of the

earth. I don't know. Dude, you got to find things to do. I've been on the road for fucking a month straight and I got two more weekends you gotta find shit to do I don't understand you can't just sit in the hotel room all day you created your reality I don't get it you go from like what else am I gonna do I

am not gonna go fucking play tennis at exclusive clubs like you like I gotta find something that's not even what I'm talking about what about work what do you mean what about. What about work? What do you mean? What about work? What about work? I am working. I'm working right now.

Today? Yes, I worked yesterday and Monday too. You just didn't see me because I got here because I come in late and I stay late. You worked on the weekdays? Yes. God damn, Beast. Listen. This is my second hour of podcasting this week.

Last time I checked, this is number one for you brother get his ass man we filmed fucking sketches yesterday and we're filming sketches i am not shaming you for your lack of work i'm just saying to go from skank fest vegas to immediately turn around to fish the coho salmon. I'm not going to Oregon to go fishing. You should bring a fucking six shooter because I hear there's brown bears at the Clackamas.

No, no, no, no. I heard there are. There might be, honestly. Especially with the salmon season, you think the salmon are going to get by without any brown bears descending on the Clackamas? I would kill for that to happen.

I miss you. If I just got fucking destroyed by a bear. Francis was saying that earlier. He's like, damn, I haven't seen Sass in three weeks. I don't see you anymore. And we used to play pool and then go to the stand.

Yes. I'm not really that pumped about it myself. I'm fucking exhausted. I miss that. That's where we would really catch up and talk about stuff. Now you're a seller guy though. How was it actually?

So how do you think we're going to see each other anymore? I'm still at the stand. I was there last night. I haven't seen you at the upstairs room in a minute. I'm there. I was there last night. I'm there tonight.

I heard you got past the New York Comedy Club too. That's huge. That's not happening anytime soon. How was your first shows or your first weekend at the cellar? It's like the greatest thing of my entire life. Really? I don't even know how to describe it. Really? Yeah. It was just as amazing as anyone has ever said that it is. It's insane. Do people say that it's amazing? I know it's a big club,

but I've never heard internally that it is amazing. It's not bad. It's ridiculous how fun it is to perform stand-up there. Why is it so fun? Because the crowds are great? Because every person that is coming to a show there has had it on the books for weeks. Right. They have made an appointment to go watch comedy. And they are coming in with the attitude of,

Holy shit, we are finally going to this place. They're waiting outside in a line in the cold. Yeah. And we are so lucky to go to be going here now boy these comedians are going to be so funny instead of I wonder if these comedians are funny

they're convinced before you take the stage that you're about to like blow their mind and it's up to you to disappoint them so do you feel like you kind of... Did you blow minds last night? I don't know if I blew minds, but I'm holding my own.

I feel like I'm keeping pace. What about that table upstairs at the olive tree or whatever? Yes, I have done. Francis Ellis, Patrice and Burr. That's the kind of table. You see that, you turn around. You do not come up to that table.

You do not want to go up to that table bitter is a bitter table is trouble yeah he is green with jealous rage i nothing but uh support you through thick and thin i'm not not supporting you i just said i'm not surprised that you held your own there you're probably better than a large amount of people there you did not say that i just did did say it. I just said that. No, he said I held my own. I said, I'm not surprised. That's as far as you went. That's all the praise I got. What do you

want me to say? I don't want you to make those Patrice O'Neill jokes. Oh my God. He's a very big inspiration to me. It changed everything. And I would have sat at that table with them if I'd been part of that generation. Your biggest inspiration was Patrice? I would have brought them sandwiches

and stuff. Who's over there now? Michelle Wolf? Who's at that table? Yeah, probably. It's everyone. Ray Romano was there last night. Dude, the fucking food is really good. I had pie. I had a celebratory slice of pie. And all I could

think was, I really wish Sass were here so that we could have a drink together. Yeah, well, one day. Because every time I try to drink with you now, you're like, I don't drink anymore. It's because I drank aggressively this weekend. He's like waiting to drink with Gardini. When can we drink together?

I like drinking with you. October 20th. That's so long. That's when I'll be in New York again. Heavens. Yeah, it's a lot. I'm's when I'll be in New York again. Heavens. Yeah, it's a lot. I'm fucking, I'm hanging on by a thread. I miss you, pal.

Yeah. Well, at least you're lining your fucking pockets, dude. Not really. $65 tickets. $65.50 a show? What are you talking about? Dude, that's not what my tickets cost. Yes, it is.

No, it isn't. That's actually what your tickets cost. No, it's not. Yes, it is. My tickets are more than that, bro. Yeah your tickets cost. No, it's not. Yes, it is. My tickets are more than that, bro. Let's get it straight. That festival this weekend was $200 a pop. Yeah.

But that's to see me in fucking incubus. True. Oh, how was that? It was good. I'm sure you guys talked about it on the real Son of a Boy Dad show. It was fun. Yeah. It was a lot of fun.

Just, you know, singing is, you know, I'm not a great singer, but it's fun. Says who? I never meant to brag. But I got it where I want it now. You know who's a good singer? That fucking dude with the shaved head on TikTok. He has like the best pipes. You know who the fuck I'm talking about?

I don't talk like that. Huh? No, no. That guy is fucking sick but i think he grew his lettuce out he's fucking dope it's the dude who's what the fuck am i talking about who gives a fuck dude um badass should we yeah rap yeah we can son of a boy dad by you in a rush i'm hungry where's your salad eat yourself you've been sitting on your salad this entire time yeah I wanted to be focused on the pod

okay yeah I guess we'll just end the show we've been at this for ages barely the first 30 minutes

was fucking silent it was like a silent film okay so we needed to bank the full clean hour after

that was why that was what we were going for? Really, it's just us stretching our legs. It's really just popping down the top. Listen, I don't need you. No, get your salad in. Get your salad. You guys keep ripping it. I'm going to go eat.

I'm not going to eat. You want to eat here? You'll eat while everyone watches. Hold your mic. Oh, you got a store? You got a prepackaged salad? You got a prepackaged salad? You got a prepackaged. We went downstairs.

Francis actually bought my... He bought my coffee. He bought my cold brew. A little Foley action. So what we have is... So bad. It's like a goat cheese, walnuts, some shredded cabbage.

Oh, some... I love Brussels. Farro. Is there protein in Farro? Fucking two-ton common over here. I'm probably going to have some Farro when I get home. I've been crushing Farro.

Yeah? I've been having so much Farro. Call me J. Farro, bro. Yeah. Dead ass, dude. Alright, we can end the show. Alright.