Son of a Boy Dad - LIVE | Son of a Boy Dad #134

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

LIVE | Son of a Boy Dad #134 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, there we go. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast, live from Barstool HQ3. That's a normal episode, but somehow there's a ton of fans. Tons. Q3. That's a normal episode, but somehow there's a ton of fans. People are acting like we're about to

board Apollo 13. I know. You guys excited to get up there? I mean, I was very excited to hitch my wagon to you two. Very funny. Very funny.

We're already on a roll. The chemistry between these three is just through the fucking roof. This could be like the next Opie and Anthony if we really wanted it to be. Wow. I'm definitely going to be praying on other podcasts now. Oh, of course. Yeah. That's the only way.

Well, now we have access to like the back feed. So we could just delete the yak from YouTube if we wanted to. Just steal their thumbprint. We'll be good to go. Francis is in this bitch. Welcome to a more permanent place on this show. Boy, I'm excited.

Let's think of this as more of a tryout. No, no. It's already been set. Can you show me a different rendering of the logo without you in it? Oh, hell no. I've already written out how I will use this in my contract negotiation

with Dave. That's why you need to have a visual representation on the show. On the logo when you click on it on Apple iTunes or whatever. I think that a lot of our early podcasts always featured someone's face so they could claim ownership of the show. I think that a lot of our early podcasts always featured someone's face

so they could claim ownership of the show. I guess ours kind of does too. It's got our faces on it. I was thinking we should probably rework the logo. We changed our logo. Yeah, let's do it again. Let's rework that puppy. We could put you in the description

of the episode. I just don't want people to be misled into thinking that they're tuning into a two-headed dragon. And then they're like, wait, what? Who the fuck is this third one? Who's this guest who's here every episode? We'll see. And why is he... You make it 133 episodes and you're like, I'm here every episode.

Why is he improving the show so much? Different reputation around the office as the guy who misses every episode. Higher ups start contacting you, asking questions about your work ethic. You did have perfect attendance, but now you're fucking... Now I'm the guy who misses. Now you have a punch card.

Yeah. Now it's like a coin toss. It's like, is that guy going to be here or not? I kind of like it. I like having a little edge like that. Yeah. Like, holy shit, I hope we can do the episode today. Did you see that he

wasn't on the episode not this week, but the week before? Oh, which one? Lil Sass wasn't on when Colm was in. Is that right? Did you get a cut? What? Did you get a haircut? Can you stay on? Let's stay on this Colm episode. No, I don't want to talk about that at all.

You just brought all this up. I was just busting chops. We can bust chops. I don't mind busting chops. How is this? Is this going smoothly in the back end? They don't believe it's live? What can we say? We can say some really bad words.

What's like a born-on date of your kombucha or something like that? I don't think that's going to help us. One 2024. Are we doing this in the future? Yo! What the fuck?

All right, now we're cooking. Now we're talking. What the fuck is this? I think that we got a lot of unplanned promotion for this show by having Mr. Hitchings. I mean, he attacked. Yes. He released the nuclear codes on us. And then I didn't know.

I'll be honest. I was kind of like thinking bad thoughts about Mr. Hitchings in my head. I didn't know he was so well connected with the higher ups because instantly after he makes that call, we get a call from the big man upstairs. And he's like, he's right. You listen to Mr. Hitchings when he talks to you you think he's here for no fucking reason yeah exactly and who threatened him and who threatened him

yeah that was an elite day I think I for an hour I was smoldering mad I was just wildly uncomfortable but then I got over it and now I think it's very funny and actually helpful. The fucking studio's falling apart back there.

Should we tell some of the users who... Or excuse me, audience members who do not know who Mr. Hitchings is, what happened? Because I feel as though that's probably a funny thing. Set the table a little bit. Tell them the story a little. So we've said for fucking months that we're going to do this live show at some point. Yak is gone. We have some time during our week. We want to do more live show at some point. Yak is gone. We have some time during our week. We want to do more and invest in this brand.

Son of a boy, dad, which I think is like 3000 followers from getting that, that plaque, getting a hundred thousand. Yeah. We've been sitting there for a while. I feel like we can use this as a long time.

I can't wait for us to post that picture. Really? We got a lot of subs today. We're going to, we're going to post that picture of the three of us, on our Instagrams, just the way that Roan and Pat Bev did. Well, they did a great promo. Yeah, they did.

But they're also always filming in like fucking like alleys in the middle of the suburb or in the middle of the city of Philly. Rugged, but like classy alleys. Yeah. You guys film your podcasts where like they film like the Bakugan commercials that are on Nickelodeon, where they're always playing like Bakugan commercials that are on Nickelodeon. Where they're always playing Bakugan and they're in a dark alley. It's like where a mob is. You guys don't know what Bakugan is, do you?

No, I have no idea. I was going to try and pivot to something else. Or like a Nerf gun commercial. You know how those commercials, those toy commercials, they're always in a fucking dark alley. Someone's going down a chute. Yeah. Like you're going through a vent. Crawling through a vent.

Yeah. We record our podcast from the Ninja Turtles lair. I must have missed all those shows when I was busy helping out the column episode of Son of a Boy Dad. Were you helping it out? I was standing outside laughing. And he was feeding jokes too. Was he there?

Oh, yeah. Francis, you didn't even watch? No, I watched the beginning. Why not? And they were making fun of me too much and it hurt my feelings so I turned it off and I downvoted it. We said you were built like a wino.

I know, that was funny. I saw that. Because you do always put your arms out like that. When I'm on stage. Or just in any time. Or just in general. I'm like Tony P. I got my move.

What is his move? The arm cross? The arm roll? Yeah, Tony P. From the Bakugan commercial. Bakugan. There will be people out there who know Bakugan and live by Bakugan. Of course there will.

Bakugan was one of the coolest toys as a child. What the fuck is it? I believe the Bakugan was the one where it was like a ball and you would roll it and when it would hit a magnet, it would expand like a transformer. Obviously Japanese. They were all Japanese. All the toys were always Japanese so

Nintendo Suzuki's the motorcycles so we were always going to do an extra show of the week we were always going to add a show and we were trying to figure out when to do it we've kind of figured on Wednesday afternoon because if we're going to record

on Monday there's enough of a runway between the shows that we'll be able to have kind of new stuff to talk about by wednesday but it won't be so late in the week when everybody's checked out you put out a podcast on a friday come on it's fucking falling on deaf ears no one's self-destruction that's self-destruction or if you put one out like at 5 p.m. 5 p.m. is crazy. And so that was Sass's like one like barrier. He was like, I need to be home with my family. Well, I tell my wife every day before I leave, I say, I'll be home for dinner. You don't wait up.

Cook up the pot roast. Take your hat off. Exactly. Put it on like a prophet. When I signed here, I told Dave, I said, as long as I'm home with my kids and my wife. But the other part of the deal was you need to be in by 830 a.m. And you have to live up to that for the call. So we wanted to have this extra show.

We didn't know exactly what it was going to be. Some people wanted us to push it to a different time. We that we kind of stood steadfast. But as that was all happening, these other shows were bubbling up and snatching up. Well, there was also a massive controversy around all of the podcasts started gathering about time slots.

Right. And people were snatching up time slots like it was tickets on the fucking main flower. Like people, it was like people, like it was the last helicopter out of Saigon. People were furiously trying to grab up time slots. And we weren't really part of that conversation nor did i want to be that was like the worst look exactly yeah we're kind of like the cool guys of

barstool we don't really play by that shit so we were like we're just gonna do ours wherever the fuck we want to do it turns out not allowed not allowed at all i've realized why neither of you wanted to sit in the middle because it's very uncomfortable yeah yeah i have to turn my head to both of you like i'm a tennis referee i tried out all the seats before i got in and i liked the middle but i knew the tennis referee god damn bro but then uh i and i tried sass's seat and he's like disproportionately close to the camera so he like looks really big like when the biden's visited the ring no way or when they visited jimmy carter have you ever seen that picture of the biden's next to jimmy carter and they look like fucking miniature people they look like they're next to his dog you ever seen those photos no

it's the wolf as a dog oh he's got a big bad one big ass dog man i need to see that one it was in the bakugan commercial that must have been they must have snuck it into the bakugan commercial do you know that for all those years that he was in the Senate, he used to ride the train, I think, almost every day to and from... He's like obsessed with trains. Is that right? Yeah.

Isn't that like his big thing that he's obsessed with trains? I'm a big fan of trains. You're a little autistic as well, so that's not surprising. That means I'm really good with math. He likes times a lot. Yeah. I love my trains. Also, the train is not...

What was he taking? The Amtrak? Yes. That's not like slumming it. The Amtrak is more expensive than a first-class ticket on Delta. Look, I wasn't saying this for any reason

other than to tell you... You're trying to blue pill us over here. No. Telling us about how Joe Biden was still taking the train. I wasn't saying... What a common what a common man to his concerts are you supposed to be famous i think i'm the next president you're talking to a future president of the united states i'm not even gonna get mad at sass right now because i think the odds of him being on the

show next time are pretty slim yeah so if it's We were going to do 9 in the morning once we got in trouble with Uncle Tim. That was my record. I was like, let's do 9 a.m. Let's do a morning show. I would have been down. I would have done a morning show. Get some donuts, get some coffee. You would have been in at 9 a.m.? Yeah, I have no problem with that. I was up at fucking 7 this morning.

No way. Grinding? No way. You were scared that you were going to be late for this show no not at all never once was scared i actually ate a nice lunch before coming in lemon pepper chicken and broccoli and carrots oh and a little rice that is nice where'd you get that from factor oh nice you're on that now on the factors good i'm glad you're starting to take care of yourself a little better. This annoys me. I've been worried about you.

This is what this is actually about. This is an intervention for fat sass. I spend a lot of time worrying about you. Dude, fatness really sneaks up on you like a thief in the night. You have, like you all, you go around and you tell everyone, dude, I'm getting so fat. And then one day, you're just actually fat.

And you're like, well, it was, yeah. And that's why we put you close to the camera, so you're just actually fat yeah and you're like well yeah and that's why we put you close to the camera so you look proportionately massive so you can kind of get the uh hall of mirrors wake-up call that you need the carnival one day one day you have adam friedland on your podcast and all the comments they really were whoa what the fuck when did that guy gain 400 pounds they really were this is what this is what i've noticed is that the from your neck to your chin there is none there's not a whole lot it's all that that's crossing all the lines right there it's not a whole lot i'm well aware and that's been the biggest insecurity of my life that's right baseball guys can't really get that fat.

Who? Baseball guys. Guys that can't grow a beard. You have nothing to cover up all this shit. Oh, no. Exactly. If you could just grow a little neck beard or some shit like that, just a little... Yeah, like Hank.

Well, Hank's got the same kind of thing going with the job. Hank's is way worse. If someone told you to carry a grapefruit between your chin and your neck as part of some country fair relay race. Which they do. You wouldn't be able to do it. I'm well aware. There's no space. There's no nook.

I'll find something about you and I'll just fucking dig into it. Yeah, come at me, bro. Francis has prepared his whole life for this. Like how you scored a five on that hole and not a four. Oh, damn. Well, you'd know the difference between fives and fours. That's where you've been trafficking your whole life.

That's right. Got his ass. Silence your phone, brother. I don't know why it's trying to be professional. Charles Schwab himself? Answer, answer if it's Chuck. Fucking answer, Chuck. Oh, this is an international wire I sent. Should I take it? Why are you wiring money internationally?

Hello? We are live. You have to say you're live or else we'll get sued. You have to say your account number or else we get sued. Yeah, this is me. Can I call you back? I'm sorry. I'm on a live podcast right now. And if it's about that international wire, that's fine. I just wanted to okay that.

Okay, I'll call you back. Perfect. I'll just call him back. Sounds like it was not about the international wire. It was definitely. He's like, we'll wait for the callback because you're going to want to be not on the air for this. Rich people's banks call them way differently. Pat Bev's bank called him one time when I was with him and they were like, hey, that money you have

is kicking ass in the stock market. If you ever want to do more, let us know. But you're doing fucking great right now. No negative call. No, we need this. No, we need to verify this. No bill calls or anything like that. It's just like, things are going great for you.

Keep it the fuck up, brother. When I set up my bank, when I set up my LLC at Chase, I told them how much money I thought I was going to make this year. And they were giving me cards from the fucking managers of the bank. It's a different bank. Rich people go to a whole different bank. Let's just say I have not even come close to that number. They have not called me or contacted me once since then.

They're probably aware that you skip episodes of your own podcast and your chances at a raise are just getting thinner and thinner. That would be hilarious if they were calling me and they'd be like, why weren't you on the podcast last week? Hey, we're doing our background check. We're going to downgrade your account to a lower status. C minus. Just that the customer service person's accent is getting thicker and thicker.

Oh, man. That's funny. So why are you doing an international bank transfer? So this is a funny story a little bit. When we were in France, probably three weeks ago, a month ago, for a wedding,

my wife is now in interior design and they have a very big time antique fair there. It's like the world's nicest flea market. And it's actually cool. We went. I'm not a huge fan of those things, but this one actually was pretty impressive. Because what are the chances you come home with something from something like that? Yeah.

I mean, we're looking for knickknacks, funny salt shakers, things like that. Just some little knickknack. Where'd you get this? Yeah. Market in France. Nice story. Ultimate flex. story ultimate flex and unfortunately the the the knickknack thing turned into more of like

a massive uh massive problem where she spotted a a dresser like a cabinet that she was in love with and uh it's massive i mean this thing is huge and you're gonna ship it from france

yeah oh my god how much did it cost And it's massive. I mean, this thing is huge. And you're going to ship it from France? Yeah. Oh my God. How much did it cost? The dresser... So the story was it was already... It had been sold the day before. And the guy who ran the stall that had it was on vacation. But they all help each other out.

So we went to the neighboring stall. And that guy was like, Yeah, let me know. I'll call the guy for you. And he was saying like, I can't sell it to you. I've already sold it. I sold it to a good customer of mine. And I was like, well, what would it take? And he was like, well, if you paid cash and you paid €1,000 more than that person did, I'd be willing to tell them I had to take the offer. Damn.

And so we did so i think i spent the dresser itself was four thousand euros jesus christ and then the shipping was two thousand euros oh my god yeah yeah you gotta stop buying shit like that well uh yeah but if his wife's an interior design you you have to buy stuff like that she's a very talented why don't you say let's get you started with a nice pair of plastic dressers? You can't say you're an interior designer. You slide into another piece of plastic. You can't have IKEA

bins and be an interior designer. That's what I use. I use the IKEA bins. And they are great. Dude, the world of antiques is pretty... I think there's some value there. Weirdly. I genuinely think that by us shipping this thing over and getting it from this place in Paris

and it's got this origin story and all this bullshit. Is it old? Yeah, it's from the 1960s. It's rattan and then it has these hand-painted flowers on the front. I can show you a picture. Anyway, the point is, if we took this and then we brought it up to the Hudson Valley to a town like...

Beacon or some shit. Beacon, yeah. Which is an antique capital of New York. Hudson, places like that. I bet you we could fetch a pretty penny for it. How many euros? Maybe make... Sell that thing for 10,000.

That'd be sick. You guys are in the... You're flipping shit now. No, no. We're keeping this one. But everything I buy at this point in my life, I have to justify buying it

by saying, well, I could potentially sell it. Sell it for more? For either more or hold its value. I'm the opposite. As soon as I bought something, it's automatically a sunk cost.

I don't even consider returning things. No, neither do I. But isn't that how most things are? Sunk cost? Yeah. A lot of things are. Boats. Car.

Cars. As soon as you drive it off the lot, it loses tons of money. But Rolexes, Birkin bags, those types of things. You got a lot of Birkin bags and Rolexes. I'm saying I don't. I'm saying as soon as I buy something, I'll buy two pairs of pants and try and figure out which one actually fits my weird shaped body. And then I'm not sending back the other pair. I'm not going to return the other pair for whatever this $70. Especially in New York.

I'm actually at a point now... I'm going to go back to the post office to mail it back to some fucking business. Forget that. We have dormant. I'm having such a hard time making rent as a result of how expensive this dresser was that I'm actually going to probably sell my Rolex.

No. Are you actually? Yeah, I think I am. Should we set up a GoFundMe or something? No. No, Francis. I have to sell it. No. Our rich friend is selling his Rolex. Please help him. I don't know what else to say. Let's use to. Our rich friend is selling his Rolex. Please help him. I don't know what else to say. Let's use the GoFundMe to buy the Rolex.

And we'll give the Rolex back to you. So you can get the money from the GoFundMe and you get to keep the Rolex. Make one of those sad commercials. Look, let's put it this way. Like your Rolex is in a cage. Right now we have 1,000. Your Rolex is in a cage clawing to get out. We have 1,600 viewers of the show.

If every one of them... Five bucks. What would five bucks be? I'd be able to keep my Rolex. I'd be able to keep it. We're going to need five bucks. Get those donations going. And let's get the subscriber count the fuck up.

Because that will also... We can sell the plaque for... We can take that to a pawn shop. Venmo is at Francis Ellis. You are helping a good cause. Run it up. I found out today that Nate has like a fake guy that, that like has a barstool,

Nate Venmo that just like tries to get money from people. And Nate has 13,000 followers on, on Instagram. And this guy has 7,000 followers on Instagram pretending to be Nate. And it's all pictures of Nate. That's hilarious. So I followed the guy right away and I'm like, bro, do you need some money?

That's so funny. I'm going to kick him some money just because Nate was like, don't follow this guy. If he asks you for money, he's like a grifter. He's trying to steal money from you. So I followed him right away

and I'm going to give him money for sure. I love that. No, I'm being a little bit jokey about the rolex why are you touching my foot oh i didn't even realize yeah get in there who's the nba player that did that didn't michael beasley or some shit an nba player he like massaged the guy next to his knee and he's like my bad i thought it was my knee that's crazy did blake oh blake griffin did that i feel like i'm pretty aware of where my body is at all times just hold that thought for one sec

i i i wanted the reason i'm actually thinking of selling the rolex is because uh my my nephew um he's my my my sister and my brother-in-law are you know they're a little they don't make a ton of money and my nephew has shown a lot of talent recently and he's a dancer and they want to keep

real or like tick tock no really like classical and ballet and stuff like that and he's shown a lot of promise. And the classes are super expensive. And they're up against some hard times. And oh, actually, my brother-in-law and my sister are both members of the union. And they're on strike right now. And they don't want to go back to work because they don't want to cross the picket lines, stuff like that, and just be a betrayer to the cause. And so in order to keep giving my nephew a chance at achieving his dreams and staying on that path and seeing where it could lead and find his potential and stuff like that, I'm thinking of selling the jewelry and pawning it and then helping him stay in the classes. Well, this just sounds like another go fund me. Let's just get these go fund me's and stack them up because that's an actual thing. People do go fund me's for get the kid to dance camp type of type of deal.

It's funny. I just realized I'm actually missing a little bit of a footloose. No, no, I'm mistaking. I'm mistaking what's happening to me for the plot of Billy Elliot. That's what it is. Ah,

forgive me. I'm so wrong. That's Billy Elliot. Yeah, that's definitely Billy Elliot. That's what it is. Forgive me, I'm so wrong. That's Billy Elliot. That's definitely Billy Elliot. I can't believe you didn't catch on. Look at this, his dancing feet. That would be hilarious if your nephew had to run out into the woods to dance in private.

Have you never seen Billy Elliot? No. To be honest, based on how you just described it, I will probably never watch it. Spectacular. Spectacular movie. It's like a little boy who wants to dance. Yeah, he's a brilliant dancer. I want to dance.

And his dad wants him to be a boxer. How are you a brilliant dancer? Has there ever been a brilliant dancer? Yeah, man. Michael Jackson, I guess, was a brilliant dancer because he created the moonwalk. No, come on. Brilliant. That's brilliant. It's talent. It's talent like anything. Are you talking about like

a ballet type of dancer or something like that? Are you brilliant because you can pick up choreography quickly? Yeah, that's what sounds like. Choreography sounds like more of a brilliant skill than actual dancing. I guess a lot of dancers probably do come up with their own choreography though.

Which is brilliant. I watch the Red Bull dance competitions. Like Red Bull the energy drink? Yeah, like the break dancing competition. What else would it be? What other Red Bulls are you in reference to? You mean the basketball team?

The basketball team from Chicago? I just didn't know that Red Bull had a dancing competition. You don't have to denote the color when you refer to the Chicago Bulls. We all know their color. They're red. The black, black socks or the white, white socks. Oh, man. So anyway, TJ Hitching's dad.

Finish off that story. The 18th and just that we had going. Yeah, he was pissed. He was pissed, but Rico never was pissed. I want that on the record. Multiple times. Who did? You did. Yeah. We've been in lockstep with Rico

for the entire time. We ran the times by him. He said he was going to be in Chicago this time. Mr. Hitchens was going to bat for Rico, but Rico told me that mr hitchens dm'd him and was like let me i got your dirty work boss no seriously he was like let me know if you need me to fall back oh really yeah and rico was like fall back he's like what the fuck are you doing you say the word if i'm crossing the line the word

i the the one thing that i did like at first it was like i saw the tweet and i was like i knew this was gonna happen i didn't expect it to be mr hitchings but i saw that's like i knew people were gonna say something about rico's show and then i like i was like yeah there's really not any times available with like literally there's not any times available. Yeah. And then the threat one is the one when I tweeted like I'm going to connect you with gas because I just thought that was funny to say. And then when he said, is that a threat or a joke? That's when I was confused. It's like in what scenario would that ever be a threat?

Because he doesn't work at barstool. Like that's the equivalent to like if like a homeless. You're saying you're going to fire me, Sass? Yeah. You're you're gonna try you're threatening my job now at this point my livelihood how i feed my family yeah it wouldn't make any sense like if gaz is mad at mr hitchings that's not something he should be like he would be like losing sleep over like am i gonna have my job in the morning right like that was that's what that's where i got lost yeah i guess i'm on dave's radar that's the last place you want to be and that's when i fell back because i was like this is just now i'm uncomfortable yeah but owen had a great great come over the top and said threat it is a

threat oh it's a bad boy i couldn't tell how it could how it could have what the perception of threat was lose loss of job? That would be the only threat in tagging Gaz in anything. Or Gaz reprimands him, gives him a DMCA strike or some shit like that? Or like Gaz fires TJ in spite of Mr. Hitchings? You know what I realize in all of this? The gulf between Mr. Hitchingsings involvement in barstool and and my parents i would say awareness of even what i do for a living my parents don't know where to find me

on the internet they call me all the time and they're like well we know you were just down shooting a golf thing for four days in north Carolina. We're checking the golf channel. Where can we find that? I found your Instagram, but I can't find things. Imagine that's where my parents are at. And then you got Mr. Hitchings being like, I wish Barstool Radio aired on Fridays as well. Yeah. Because I used to enjoy watching it five days a week instead of four. And if only Kevin's schedule were more flexible to allow for it.

It is preposterous. He is tapped in. He truly is a fan. But the only time your parents talk about what you do for a living is like disappointingly at the country club being like, did Francis ever wind up as a doctor? That's what my parents are like. So you didn't end up selling any tickets to Ontario?

And then they're like, my dad will be like, you got to step it up. We saw the statements. Maybe some more social clips. Get the social interaction up a little bit. Have you thought about crowd work clips? I think it's time. I got that young Matt Reif kid.

You cut your hair and start eating less, you'd be fine. Your mother and I are heading into job work clips. I think it's time. I got that young Matt Rife kid. You cut your hair and start eating less, you'd be fine. Your mother and I are heading into the cities tonight to see Matt Rife. We thought there was a lot of stuff in his show that you could learn from, that you could borrow from. He fixed our marriage.

We went home and had the best sex of our lives after a Matt Rife show Matt Rife said your father was doing a lot of red flags That would be nuts dude Seeing your parents in front row at a Matt Rife show Y'all fucking still? Yeah Baby why is he treating you like that?

Baby come on Talking to my mom Matt Rife But surprisingly he's got to treat you better yeah sorry i won't talk about your parents getting wet or not about how hard your dad is after a matt rife show just the extra tea that's coursing through his veins after seeing rife on stage you gotta i mean i'm assuming most dudes leave that show being like i gotta get my life together i gotta start eating some more broccoli. And they just see

that jawline hit the stage. Well, I was gonna ask, speaking of jawline, does your dad have this too? It's hereditary. Yes. Yeah. You gotta get buccal fat surgery like Tom Brady did. You ever see that

game where they pass the grapefruit? I think I've done it at a beach game. Yeah, exactly. So I don't really think you could even participate in that. You're stuck to the egg toss. You'll be at the water balloon toss. What the hell are you talking about? You got a little fucking meat on those bones

yourself, bro. I'm titted up to the socks, especially on Mondays. You're down to 11% body fat I'm trying to pounce on from Francis' point of view but dude it's been bad news for me especially on Mondays I'm so bloated

I just look so fat faced on Mondays and that's when I do all my recording I'll draw it in a little bit after a weekend of drinking just like the bloat that comes after several days every single day then the bloat is you bloated versus yeah you're always bloated constantly you're bloated up yeah it's bad it's bad news but francis will never know the fucking the horrors of having titties and being skinny fat no he'll never have any idea the struggles of that no but the fact that even if i do work out i'm still fat there's just the way that my body is i don't think you're working you

got it hard enough you think you got it all figured out i think you go to the gym walking my shoes brother i think you go to the gym and you lie on the mats and fuck around on your phone i don't go to the gym so you lost me already there well you did at one point three years you know who was full of shit the fucking uh body positivity people uh yeah like four years ago who were like it's fucking like it's big big is beautiful it is but you can't be like not i like there's nothing beautiful about big let's be honest no i think it's sometimes you know that some there's plus size models that are smoking hot for sure but but you can't be like i'm happy the way i am and then as soon as ozempic comes out oh yeah you're you're jabbing up you're taking double doses if you really believe that then you have to stay fat yeah but that's what happens people

get mad people got pissed when adele got skinny. Because if you get skinny, then you're doing that to shame the people that have come to your... Yeah, you're ashamed of how you look and how you feel. Right. Like you could go and apply for Ozempic and your doctor could pull up some tweets and be like, Fucking big is beautiful. Yeah. Sorry, sister. You're going to have to hang on to that.

If you reverse Ozempic. Is there a reverse? Just getting off of it yeah they're just giving a bunch of fat girls just steroids yeah HGH I'm taking this a lot

and I'm getting like way bigger and angry I've been really angry lately that would be hilarious to just swap someone with that I watched

a clip of a guy. It was from a show. It was 600 Pound Life or 3,000 Pound Life. I don't know. I can't remember what the number was, but it was a big number. And this guy, this kid, he was a redheaded kid. Have you seen this kid? No, I don't watch that shit.

Why not? I love it. I love it. Too real. And he doesn't put clothes on he just he's naked all the time because it's too hot for him to wear clothes yeah those guys got to be fucking cooking and he just plays video games their ac bills all day through the roof yeah con ed when summer rolls around just ten thousand dollars a month

because their temperature is raising the temperature of the room so that the ac has to fight literally sucking the humidity off of their skin mr freeze uh yeah he he but he doesn't put clothes on but his his belly is so big that he actually is not indecent naked. Like, you can't see his penis because his gut hangs so low over his private parts that even though he's naked, you know,

he's not... It's like a loincloth. Yeah, that's a different level of fat when you just got it. It's just swinging. Yeah. Like, your stomach is at your knees. Yeah, that's where it was and he sits on his bed and they get their dick sucks and they gotta like grab it up but there is always someone to suck their dick though like they always have an enabler who will not only buy them dominoes but yeah suck that that was his dad it was his dad and he said i love my son I'll give him what he wants. The food is too much.

It's too much. But I love him. I can't say no. You just hate confrontation. You don't love your son. And then the son was like, I'm not the one going out and getting the chicken fingers. I'm not the one doing it.

He blames his dad. Yeah, he did. And I was like, you're ungrateful. There's nothing to eat around here. That's all the guy brings in. And then he's like, lunch're ungrateful. There's nothing to eat around here. That's all the guy brings in. Yeah. And then he's like, lunch is here. Lunch is here.

And it was a massive bag of McDonald's. And they had a fish filet and then double cheeseburgers. And he took the top bun off the fish filet and the bottom bun off the cheeseburgers. And he created this hybrid mutant sandwich of land and sea and ate it together. That's actually a sandwich. It was a surf and turf. So he created the land and sea because McDonald's dropped that like a year ago.

It's literally called the land and sea and it's like a fish filet and a burger. Come on. I swear to God. Is that really so they must have watched that show and been like that's actually a fucking good idea that's where they go to like this guy's a genius but fuck a genius at dance this man is a fast food savant bingo bingo bingo yeah the dad was selling his family jewelry to keep his kid in food uh but he just plays video games all day and it's his happy...

It sounds like he's living a good life. He didn't look unhappy at all. No, he's probably happy as fuck. He didn't look unhappy at all. Lunch is here and then it's just the land and sea waiting for you in the kitchen. I would be so fucking pumped.

Yeah. I'd be like, let's go. But then the dad handed him the bag and the kid's looking through the bag and he's like, well, I got bad news for you. He goes, they got your order wrong. You're not having lunch. And like he didn't give his dad any of the food.

Oh, no. That's when it becomes a problem. That's when you just got to put the son down. His dad. When he starts stealing the family's food. Hadn't brought home any extra. Like it was all his food and they didn't throw his dad's food

in there and he wouldn't share what he had with his dad. That's when you need to stab your son like Arnold Schwarzenegger with the Ozen pick. Yeah. In the neck and he just goes to sleep. Yeah. In the middle of his chest.

I'm not hungry anymore. It is crazy that it's a needle, too. That is fucking insane that everybody's just on the arm. It might be a thigh. A thigh or some shit like that. It is not that different from doing heroin.

Yeah. You wind up skinny as fuck. There's fucking needles just littering the streets at all times. I don't like needles like that. It goes into the tummy? It goes in the belly button? What the fuck?

Well, you know, at least the holes will be fresh when they have diabetes. And you don't even know what's in that thing. People are really getting that thing? You don't even know what the ingredients are. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but a lot of people are taking it. I mean, like a large amount of people are taking it.

A large amount of people. A lot of people at the office. I could see you getting on it. I got no reason to. Why not? What do you mean? Can you stop talking? When people are like, you stop doing Ozempic and you get fat again, it's like, yeah, like if you stop when people are like you stop doing ozempic and you get fat again it's like it's like

yeah like if you stop eating good you get fat again or if you stop exercising you get fat again keto that's like keto keto you blow up like a fucking balloon the second you get off of it yeah and it makes your breath fucking stink does it but i guess it's terrible for your organs i know that is it yeah but at least you get terrible for your organs. I know that. Is it? Yeah. But at least you get to have like sausage wrapped in bacon. Yeah. Wrapped in cheese.

This is healthy as fuck. Mincy posts and he's like third slap stop of the week. Just a massive plate of ribs. I'm off the sugar. Yeah. He said that, you know, he's down. He's down all his pounds. I mean, it works. But then he then he said, you know, he said that he's down all his pounds. I mean, it works.

But then he said, he stopped at, I think, a casino or something, and they brought him out a free 40-ounce steak. I'm like, come on, dude. Come on, man. That's what it is, dude. People eat, they literally eat hot dogs wrapped in bacon with avocado on the side and they're like i'm really getting my life together finally holy chips he's eating i don't know i was trying to make a casino and chips joke it didn't come together like i wanted it to that's

okay that's okay it didn't really land the plane are people subscribing let's get these fucking subscribers up dude don't fucking play with us dude let's get these fucking subscribers up, dude. Don't fucking play with us, dude. Let's get these subscribers going. We need this plaque. Tell a friend. It would be a big flex for Francis to come on and we get to 100,000 right away and you could be like, I did that. Look at the Francis bump. Look at what

he brings to the table. Plaques. Plaques on, plaques on, plaques. I mean, I technically brought most of it to the table. You guys would have to start calling me Plaxico Francis Before we started the pod Plaxico Francis Stop touching me It's so god damn annoying

I love touching you I hate it so much I want your big ass hands On his dainty ass Thin shoes His thin ass stupid shoes These aren't stupid shoes On his dainty ass shoes. Makes me feel uncomfortable. His thin ass stupid shoes. These aren't stupid shoes.

They're pretty stupid. You're like the heart of America. You wore those to play golf like a fucking douchebag. Yeah, and I almost beat you and I haven't played in fucking decades. Weren't even close. Eight strokes on nine holes. That's a wide margin. If I went to the range twice this week and we played on Friday, I would destroy you.

That's not true. It's probably not true. I can stop saying shit like that. It will come back to bite you. Yeah. Because I did say before, I was like, I could beat anyone in the office. And then I went out and I was like, oh, I didn't know Frankie was actually good at golf. Oh, the guys who golf every day are actually pretty good at it.

I know Frankie was actually good at golf. Even your original Barstool video was you being like, Dana, if you ever want to play golf, you know where to fucking see me. I was so young. Yeah, you were so young. And so thin-faced. Not like now. No, you could have fit a fucking sleeve of grapefruits between your chin.

It was fucking an incredible difference. Nothing. I didn't like how it looked then. It looked freakish. You're a heartthrob. I looked like a skeleton. You're still a heartthrob. You have great hair.

I know I do. It's amazing how feathered and layered it is. Thank you. That actually comes with a lot of work. He uses gel on that. I'm not surprised. I figured he needed some kind of zhuzh. He uses seed if I have no hair gel and it's crazy.

He uses mayonnaise on it. It's literally, I have to use like car wax. He uses a miracle whip, throws it on there. The whole process that took years to perfect. Are you due for a haircut? And then people will hit me up and they'll be like, dude, brush your fucking hair. And like, if I brushed my hair, I don't know, like, what would you want it? It would literally be like slicked to the side.

That is a funny ass look when when you do it, though. Yeah. I do enjoy it. You used to just take funny, stupid, silly pictures and just post them online. Yeah. And now you've resorted to writing out and thinking of your jokes, which I don't like. It's way better. No, no.

I like the old one. I like a little physical slapstick comedy. Slap it up. Three Stooges type of vibe. Francis, how was the rest of your day yesterday? You had two contentious videos come out on Barstool. Was that stressful for you?

Yeah, I took a Xanax when it was still light out. You were on Xanax last night? No, after my shows. Taking Xanax while it's light out or you're not going on a plane that day

is crazy. That's crazy. The world is on fire. I got a big refill. Want to just throw me a couple so I don't have to call my doctor? They do not like when I call. We need more.

They get real bitchy about it. That's a more millimarrier. They're like, why do you need so much? Well, how much are you asking for? Dude, they give me like three pills and I haven't gotten it in over a year.

Really? That's it? Yeah. Oh, I got 60. No, I got Ativan, which is not even close to Xanax. It isn't even a drug. It's basically an over-the-counter drug.

But I'm getting it because I want to get it because I have such a busy week the next couple of weeks. And I know I'm going to need it at some point. I know eventually the walls are going to come crashing down. Yeah, the walls were coming in last night. The world was getting very... Have you guys, by the way, did you ever see that movie Don't Worry, Darling?

Yeah. Did you see that? No, is that the Harry Styles? It kind of got panned. Oh, no, I didn't see it. I just know of it. But I thought it was really, really good. I actually really enjoyed it. Is I thought it was really, really good. I actually really enjoyed it.

Is it a fuck fest? Not really. Oh, there's some fucking in it. Is there more fucking in that or in Oppenheimer? Well, it's the same actress who's amazing. But probably... Florence Pugh? Florence Pugh.

This is a sexier movie, for sure. Is she nude in both movies? I can't remember if she's nude, but she's definitely... There's some moaning and groaning. You can't remember if she's nude. Well, because they do scenes... How would you forget if she's nude?

Because in this one, they do sex scenes, but it's like maybe she's wearing a bra or something. So you don't know if there was a nipple? I can't remember. I would remember so easily. Do you know why I can't remember? Because it took us five separate viewings

to finish this movie. And you're saying it was good? That's usually a sign that it sucks. That's probably why you thought it was good. No, we just suck at watching movies. Every time you watch it, do you start it from the beginning? No. You got a bad attention span. Life got in the way. No, we just suck at watching movies. Every time you watch it, you start it from the beginning? No. I don't have fucking Alzheimer's. Life got in the way.

We kept falling asleep. Yeah, that's the Xanax. Somebody Xans, yeah. They're in outer space. We kept falling asleep. They're like Future in 2008. You guys are both off the fucking Hulk bars. There's just double cups on a French dresser.

His doctor gets him those green big ass Xanaxes. The ones that look like they're in the fucking, what are those candies that people have? 15 minute warning, healthy debate starts in 15 minutes. Shut the fuck up, Meek Phil. Shut the

hell up. You have some fucking set of balls, dude. Get the fuck out of here. Talk about a fucking buzzkill. Uncovered boss ass meat pill. By the way, there's a scene... Who presses your zans? They're small.

They're pharmaceutical. I'm not buying them in Washington Square Park. That's what I tell my doctor when they won't give me them. That you're going to go buy them on the street? I said, all right, then I'll just go up to Times Square and try and score some smack. So you threaten your doctor.

I just want to see Francis in like doing a TikTok with 20 Xanax on his tongue like a Drewski video. Like, ah. Yeah. I would have fallen there. Have you ever accidentally

taken too many? No. No? I don't fuck around with Xanax. Sounds like you do. No. Talking about taking it while the sunanax. Sounds like you do. No. Talking about taking it while the sun is still out. Well, as I said, the walls were closing in. Yeah, the walls were closing

in last night. Should have seen Francis at the stand. I just don't know, man. Fucking smashing. Smashed it. Yeah, he definitely smashed it. Kept coming back up, checking to see where Harry was at, you know, because I was downstairs and he wasn't. Oh, was he outside? He was.

No, I had to leave to go do another show. Yeah, he'd go leave to do his free show. He was outside shouting across a bunch of homeless dudes that were playing golf with milk cartons or some shit. Yeah. Did I ever tell you about the time I was doing an outside show there and I almost got into a fist fight with a guy? No.

This was like peak covid yeah and weren't you doing one where the cops showed up while you were on stage i've seen a clip of that yeah oh yeah that was a rooftop show yeah and the cops came up yeah while i was on stage but this one you know there's the the audience and then there's sidewalk and then there's the performer and then people are still walking through the sidewalk yeah because they're like what the fuck we're not this is a comedy show happening we don't care and some guy walked through and he was probably like 54 years old and he was wearing like cargo zip off khaki pants that could become shorts. Yeah, I love those. I used to rock those

all the time. The type you would wear on a safari or something. And then he had a tucked in shirt, a t-shirt that just said Republican. That's badass. It was the only thing. It's just big words, Republican. And he goes through and I just went,

huh, Republican. I couldn't even help myself yeah it was like it was so obvious that you had to point it out yeah it was like in those old commercial jingles where they have the bouncing ball across the words you're supposed to sing along you just read it yeah and he stopped and turned and then the audience is here and he goes that's right and if you're not you're ruining this country and I said something like okay you know

this is the height of COVID too times were tense I said something like those are fighting words maybe you'd be more comfortable if you turned your pants into the shorts or something like that and then he goes he said something like well you're losing your hair oh and it sounds like you're losing this battle so far to be fully honest and then he started

walking towards me oh shit and i'm standing there with a microphone this isn't an audience member this is just a fucking civilian who's like taking umbrage with the fact that i'm like now treating him as part of the show want to shut that um piece of meek piece of stupid shit fucking bastard thank you ellen it's a good man we need that type of energy and then Adele came out rushed over and like started pushing him away

or something the Adele the Ozempic Adele the one who people were mad at for losing weight yeah and I was like

where did she come from I had a bad one out there he said hello this was like over a year ago I was out there and I was doing a show and a group of cool teens

walked by oh that's the worst. And one of them stops and he looks at me and goes, ha ha ha. And everyone is just Sounds like you boys are 0 for 2. And then they keep walking and then he did it again.

But now it's a good joke to make when I do shows out there because everyone's like because I just say that story and everyone laughs. Yeah, but then they think you're the teen. Why? That you're just like the guy. There's a full circle. Because you're 19 years old.

I'm not 19, though. How old do you know? 22. When did that happen? A while ago. How many years ago? This year. Wow.

I don't think that's true. I think he's kind of telling, he's making stuff up a little bit. I agree. Yeah, that cannot be true. He's way too young. He would have a full beard like a grown man. If you were 22, you wouldn't mind me putting a little paw.

Why are your hands so warm? Because I'm hot. Your hands take up almost my entire leg. It's so uncomfortable. He's got big, beautiful mitts. Do you have abnormally large hands? No. But they're strong. You're like that picture of the dude holding the bud light can and it looks like the bud light

hands this big the giant yeah no he has muscular fingers he has like there's muscle to all parts of his body not like us thin fingered boys some people have speak for yourself yeah right what do you talk sausage fingers on you you're calling these sausage fingers this is a beautiful hand right here you're out of your fucking mind dude this is a lovely hand that I have no it's a good ass hand that I have that's the thing about this live show is we do not hold back from the truth

we'll say what we want to say and hey if YouTube doesn't like that we'll go straight to rumble we don't give a shit yeah no we will go right on the Twitter broadcast directly on Twitter if we need to. I don't give a fuck. We'll say whatever the hell we need to. Joe Biden is trans. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't disrespect a president like that. That's what I was told. Earlier, Sash called him autistic. I don't even know if I've ever heard that about him. About him being autistic? He's probably not autistic, to be fully honest. What happens if I take this? If I hit it? Is it nicotine?

Yeah. Oh, pass that around, bro. Let's get fucking ripped on the tube. Take a little whack of that. Let's tube it. I've never done this before. I've never hit one of these things. But you would outer space, brother.

You'll really get the tingles going. I fucking hate those things, man. It's like you've never done them. Jesus Christ. I'll have to rest my hand on here. I need to rest my hand. Get your clammy hands off of my leg. All right, one more hit, though.

Let him get one more hit. Does that not hurt? Does it hurt you? It's an acquired taste. It goes right to my head, honestly. It goes right up to my brain stem. Yeah, I'm feeling it. It's strong. I'm feeling it. It's good.

I gotta quit them, though. I'm gonna get off of them soon. My mom always calls me and she goes, Stop vaping now! Really? And I'm like, I am. What type of propaganda is she seeing to make her think that you need to stop matt rife probably matt rife does he say not to vape probably baby what are you doing to yourself and baby you're ruining that beautiful body baby look me in the eyes you're worth more

than that you need to smoke some pole baby you're killing yourself baby and the crowd's like oh did you hear that he said he stayed up for nine days straight matt rife yeah no he said he was the record's 11 days straight stayed up for nine days straight he said and he says the only ways that he can ever sleep is smoking on that gange so maybe he's not off those but he's definitely off the the weed did he say that yeah the record is 11 days straight you know what's weird is that apparently your body can't can ever sleep is smoking on that gange. So maybe he's not off those, but he's definitely off the weed. Did he say that? Yeah. The record is 11 days straight. You know what's weird is that apparently your body can't store sleep. So like

the dude that stayed up for 11 days straight, they took him to the hospital after and he just slept for like eight hours and was just like fine the next day. Like literally, he was like, I just felt like back to normal. I think he might have slept for like 14 hours or something like that. And then he was just like good. Which is a normal night for LeBron.

LeBron James sleeps like 14. I'm pretty sure he sleeps 14 hours a night. That's great. I mean, it makes sense. Lions sleep 20 hours a day. Do they? Yeah. How do you know that?

You better be. You're lucky that they're not awake. He's never been on a safari, bro. He's never seen a lion in a flesh. A dude has like a motivational speech where he's like, Lions sleep for 20 hours a day. You don't know that.

You didn't go. And those four hours that they're awake, they are working. That's not true either. Do you think it bothers him that he didn't go on the safari nor does he live in the same building that we do?

I know. He has to have himself. Sounds like Roman on a way better safari than you, though. Not to be that guy. You haven't seen his picture with the gorillas, dude. Fuck gorillas. Why would you say something like that? Because it's true. It's my honeymoon.

Sounds like you had a shit honeymoon. Don't you dare. You're going to have to sit him down and show him the still photos. It's a magical time. That's the only way that you'll be able to appreciate it is if you see the still photos. photos yeah why don't you come over for dinner some night harry i actually enjoyed the hell out of seeing the still photos that that you show me and since then i've tried to show people still photos of my safari and they're

always like all right what else are we doing no one gives a fuck about my still photos videos are like like cat or like fucking big ass animals being ripped to death that's pretty cool we didn't get to see that really i actually do think roan had more action on his safari i think his safari was no uh if you're judging it by action then dan rapaport had the most action what did he have he had fucking zebras being you they're like you see their throat gets split open and you hear them crying. I don't want to see that shit. I like animals. I do too, but you're always

trying to get us out for steaks. You're always trying to take us to the casino for free 42 ouncers for the fat T-bones. For a free 42 right now? I know. Let's get some steaks. I gotta go to Philly. Tonight? Why? What the fuck are you doing in Philly? opening up for Colm

are you serious? at Helium? I told him not to don't yeah I don't know why I mean I want to go I asked to go

you didn't show up when Colm was in studio you're suddenly gonna show up driving to Philly for him Helium's awesome can't even make it to the office but he'll drive to Philly you're taking the train down?

yeah you're staying overnight? no how are you getting back? midnight train damn is there even a midnight? No. How are you getting back? Midnight train. Damn, is there even a midnight train? 12-11. To Georgia? To Georgia.

Doesn't that suck? Yes. Badly. It's impossible to get home from the train station at that time too. Not in New York. It sucks dick. It's just annoying to get home late at night in New York. I guess you could Uber. We live pretty close to there.

We're so close to 2,000 concurrent live viewers. But how do we get new different people who aren't on? Who aren't already watching these people? Clips. Clips. We need clips. 210 a month. Flip these clips.

If you're watching the show, the onus is on you to be making clips of us. Yeah, that's what we need is we need one of those podcasts where the fans Flip these clips. If you're watching the show, the onus is on you to be making clips of us. Yeah, that's what we need is we need one of those podcasts where the fans just make clips. That's like the, those are the big podcasts. That is the cheat code. Yeah. By far the most successful clips we ever had from the podcast were fan-made clips of Shane.

Oh, yeah. That just went like mega viral. Dude, because those guys make money off of that. Like a lot of money. Especially if you have the Comptown clips. One of them posted a video of how much they make. They clipped out a part of In The Podcast about how those guys are making a bunch of money.

And the dude's last month revenue was like $60,000. Damn, dude. Someone could make this money off of us. This is fucking meat on the bones. Look at that. Let's go. Get the number up. Now the numbers are going up. Pump it up. They're fucking meat on the bones. Look at that. Let's go. Get the number up. Now the numbers are going up. Pump it up. They're just jumping to the stream.

$60K a month. Think about that. Think about all the things that you could buy. All the Rolexes Francis wouldn't have to sell. Maybe your dancing nephew is going to have to fucking start clipping for this show so we can afford dance lessons. Mowing some lawns. That's for damn sure. I'm in a little bit of a predicament right now i um i think okay i'm listening down in my soul well we don't have

a lot of time i'm listening i'm listening but i think deep down in my soul i came to the conclusion on sunday i think i'm uh i think i'm still a bigger patriots fan than i am a bills fan by a lot what how did you find that out Because you got really angry that the Patriots I went to. It was the first game I've ever watched where I felt like I was going to cry

while watching it. I was so and like my whole body was like numb. I was like standing up against the TV. And then when they didn't call that first down

I was just like I didn't know what to do with myself. Did you bet on it? For like an hour. You bet on the game? I bet on it but not I was already up a lot that day. So it wasn't that you were losing a ton of money? It didn't really what to do with myself for like an hour. You bet on the game? I bet on it, but I was already up a lot that day.

So it wasn't that you were losing a ton of money? Yeah, it didn't really matter. Damn. You're going through the emotions of what an eight-year-old goes through when they start watching football. Like, why can't my team win every single game? Yeah. And it is.

That's very Patriots fan of you. Yeah. You're in a tough predicament because you've pledged your allegiance to three different teams. I guess I did pledge my allegiance to the Eagles as well, but I'm not a huge Eagles fan. I don't know.

The team hasn't really reached out to me. Do you know that when the team reaches out to you, it really changes your fan levels? I think I told Hairball this, where I went to Buffalo Helium and did a show. Dave has called me fat. Did I tell you about that? Can you just hold on a second?

He did. Would you mind just... That's why you like the Patriots now. You're a fucking unit. Swear to God. When? When I went with Shane the other week. At the fucking Jets game?

Yeah. Oh my God. You're a fucking unit now. That should be your wake-up call. That was my wake-up call. I literally woke up the next day and I ordered those factors online. I also got back on a...

What were you about to say? Hey, you told Hairball what? No, he stepped on it. Yeah, but that story's better. And now we're losing viewers since you stepped on it, Sass. Like a lantern fly. Unbelievable.

That was so fucked up. The story is I went to buffalo performed i was up there i drank buffalo kool-aid uh really liked it and then came home and i was i think i tweeted or said on my pod i was like man i really like buffalo i like the culture and is it okay for me to become a buffalo bills fan because i don't really even have a proper team right i'm like i really like that how are you not a patriots fan because i grew up i even have a proper team right I'm like I really like that how are you not a Patriots fan because I grew up I was born in New Jersey and we moved to Maine when I was four and my dad was a huge Giants fan and so like we kind of imported that allegiance and then

when the Giants are playing the Patriots in the Super Bowls you can't root for them so it's going to have this ingrained counter culture thing going on. Exactly. I don't know. I feel like I'm a man without a team. And I said out loud openly and on the record in and in public, I think I want to become a Buffalo Bills fan. Fast forward some time and Hairball

is doing exactly the same thing for the same reasons. It's insane. When the team reaches out to you like that, you obey their orders. They hit me up. Why do you keep saying they reached out to you? What are you talking about, they reached out to you?

That's like my family. Who? Who reached out to you? Gabe Davis fat shamed you. That's not the team reaching out. He told me I look good. He checked me as a friend. No, he told you you need those MPs.

He's like, I'm telling you this as a mentor. No, dude. You're getting big. And not he told you you need those MPs. He's like, I'm telling you this as a mentor. No, dude. You're getting big. And not the good kind. Not the good kind. Fucking bad kind. And then I wanted to call him fat. And I was like, he's just not.

That's not even funny. I was like, he just isn't. See his organs. I was like, he's like 4% body fat. That doesn't work at all. He's lean as hell. Yeah. And if you had come at him about anything football related,

you'd just be a massive loser. Yeah, which I wasn't going to do. So I took it. Yeah. You're right. I was like, dude, you're such an ass. Gabe. If you knew.

Such a prick, dude. I love when we can fucking bust balls like this. I love the give and take. I love the give and take. I love the give and give. If you guys knew the route that a receiver was running, just in practice, quarterback and receiver, that's it, and you could go to the place where you knew the ball was going to be delivered,

do you think there's any chance you could defend that pass? Absolutely not. I think there's a pretty low chance I could as well. But you're talking to bad-bodied... No, Francis definitely could. What are you talking about? We all have to be honest with ourselves. He has to be honest with himself that he could do that if he knew where it was going to go.

No, but that's not what I'm saying. He's saying he could get to the spot first. You're not racing them. Let's say you're within three yards and they have to run their route and you can just move over a couple of feet, be there and the ball is coming in.

And then I guess it's just sort of a jump ball. I guess. Hey, find out the answer to that question. We got to end the show. On next week's episode. It's going to be weird having to get used to an hour. I feel like we usually with the Yak crew do an hour and a half. Yeah, whatever. This is good. I think that this will be good

to have a time constraint on the end. We got to bounce. Well, I thought it was a fun episode. I hope people enjoyed it. I think they did. I think it was fun.

It's content. People enjoy everything. No, they don't. They don't, but they all watched it, so it's fine. Yeah, they watched it. Hopefully, you know.

There's still got 1,800 people watching. There'll be new avenues of hate that people blossom for. There'll be new shit that they want to talk shit about us for. So I'm excited to see all that. Yeah. Make sure you subscribe. We'll be back.

Please subscribe. That's the one way. And if you watch this after the fact, if you listen after the fact, subscribe to this. This will factor into whether we get contracts next year. Yeah, exactly. Also, go listen to the Matt McCusker episode from yesterday. Yes. And go check out Francis' at the Cellar.

Yeah, Francis is going to be everywhere. I'll be everywhere. I'm in Tampa this weekend. Come see me there. Phoenix for me. Come out. FrancisCellars.com. And I got Pizza Fest this weekend. Oh, and I'm going to Skank Fest next week. You know how he got on Skank Fest? No.

I got booked on Skank Fest. I told you how I got on Skankfest sounds like there's more to this story no I don't know what that means at all what does this mean I'll tell you later I have no idea what that could possibly mean next week

that's crazy that is an asshole move alright thank you guys for listening