Son of a Boy Dad - LOTR Lightning Bolts | Son of a Boy Dad #211

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

LOTR Lightning Bolts | Son of a Boy Dad #211 -- Ad: Son of a Boy Dad is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/SON today to get 10% off your first month. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Don't start yet. Don't start us yet. But we can start now. Now is fine. We're good?

Yeah. Alrighty, welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast today it is june 24th jesus look at that huh can you believe that i know it's flying by um roan's not here he is sick with covid supposedly we believe signs are pointing to covid signs are pointing to covet for ron or perhaps any other sort of sickness as well yeah exactly but uh so he's not here so it's just free me and francis and um yeah yeah some of what are his symptoms that he said he said swimming in dizziness yeah i don't know what that means it was something like he used a way to describe a sickness that i've never heard a sickness described he said he was well i don't feel like i have fear but my head is swimming i heard he had um and i'm a mucus factory. Decreased sperm count, infertility.

Was that AIDS? No, COVID. COVID. Well, the vaccine. AIDS has decreased what, white blood cell? He got the COVID vaccine. Oh, I see what you're saying. And so apparently, I think, in this state of a fog that he's in, he's drawing up plans to try to hijack an airplane and crash it into a major industrial center.

That would suck. Just trying to tie all these conspiracy theories that we've had. It would do really well for our podcast, though. Like, if Roan didn't show up today and then there was a terrorist attack in New York and it was him that did it it people would be like well now we got to go back and listen to every single episode of son of a we wouldn't even have to ever record an episode again who saw it coming yeah we could go back and listen to every people would listen to every single episode yeah we'd probably have to pull the war mode episodes before that got out of hand but yeah one can only hope i may have asked you this before but have you ever been so angry at someone it doesn't have to be someone you know yeah it's just someone that you

ran into or something that happened that you started thinking seriously about having them killed or killing them no ever like not even close to be honest really yeah never even close even just a flash my parents when i was like 10 oh that's sad i fucking hate you that's worse than what i was thinking you've never gotten mad at your parents or you're like i wish you were dead no i'm talking about road rage and road rage doing something where i thought i want that person to die immediately see road rage i don't get like that because i don't drive that much so when i do drive it's like a it's like a gift i'm like this is so fun that i'm driving yeah it's peaceful but traffic in new jersey i get like super angry

but i get i get more angry i don't get as angry at the people that are cutting the line that are that are driving on the corner i get mad at the people that are cutting the line that are driving on the corner. I get mad at the people that are letting them in. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I talk to myself and I'm like, have a fucking spine. Yeah, right. Why are you letting them just walk all over us? I don't disagree.

I don't agree. All you have to do is just inch forward so that they can't angle their car in front of yours. Hold the line. Yeah. Hold it. Like, don't you feel like someone just ripped your balls off when you're letting them just drive directly in front of you those are the types of people that if we were in a giant war and an invading army was charging at us oh yeah they'd be like oh yeah turn and they'd run yeah you gotta hold the line i'm very i'm i stay loyal to my lane

yeah even when you're in jam and even when you're in bumper to bumper traffic and people are like you know because people get a little they get a little lancy and they see one of the lanes is moving a little faster so then they switch over to that lane next thing you know i'm flying by them because that's not how traffic works it's not just one lanes moving faster than the other so you gotta stay loyal to your lane and you gotta pick a car next to you and you gotta say if they get way ahead of me i'll know i fucked up but they never do that's my dance partner they'll get half a mile ahead of you and the next thing you know you're flying by it's amazing it's truly amazing how uh traffic is a science yeah oh my god i am so glad this is where we are right now in this conversation here's a thing

traffic circles yeah slash roundabouts slash rotaries yeah i think yeah all one in the same yeah maybe there is a distinction between them well we're not going to say that definitively i'm like 90 sure okay i am talking specifically about ones that have two lanes okay the inside lane and the outside lane yeah like when you get out of the hall when you get into the city there's two lanes that one no i'm not talking about that one i'm talking about ones that are full circle. Is that not full circle? I always get that one. That's not a full circle. You can't keep going around that one.

I've never been past the first exit, so I thought I assumed it was full circle. No. I'm talking about traffic circles, rotaries, roundabouts, where you can keep going around. Okay. Mostly. Yeah. To the best of my knowledge, this was not covered in driver's ed now i took driver's ed i was 16 35 19 years ago yeah my guess is that the country of the united states of america at that time did not have many roundabouts, rotaries, traffic circles.

19 years ago? Mm-hmm. We were a nation of stoplights. Okay. Four corners. Yeah. And then the rule was always whoever gets there first goes, and then I think you either go in the order of getting there first or maybe,

yeah, yeah, that's right. And you try to be courteous. Traffic experts realize that roundabouts and traffic circles are a much more efficient way of keeping traffic moving. Yeah. You actually never, it's more, it's a yield in. Yeah. As opposed to a full stop, wait for the light to change. And so traffic circles are very much replacing, as far as I can tell, like four-corner traffic light stops, intersections. Makes sense.

But I don't know how to navigate them. Why? Okay. Let's say that I enter a traffic circle and I'm the third exit from the one I got on. Do I go into the inner lane or do I stay in the outer lane? I don't know who's driving in the inner lane on a rotary because I'm always, as soon as I get into a rotary, I go to the outer lane. Yes, but so exactly.

Who's the inner lane for? Sometimes I go in there if I think I've got a long way to go before my exit. And I don't want to. What is it? Three seconds instead of two? It's never that long. Well, but if I'm not getting off at the next one. Yeah.

The adjacent one. And I see on my navigation. That's the other thing. The navigation does not make that clear no never i am guessing yeah and sometimes i'm so uncertain that i just say you know what i'm gonna go around again yeah it's always humiliating i've gone around a couple times yeah me too and i feel like a hamster yeah it doesn't feel good because you know other cars are starting to notice yes yeah they're like this guy's just going around in circles this guy's advertising something yeah to keep going around yeah the inner lane is for

continued uh laps i also but i also get in the i get in the right lane immediately because i have like i get i get in the right lane when i'm like five miles away from my exit because i'm always convinced that I'm going to suddenly miss it or I'm not going to be able to merge over. What are you talking about? Like just driving on a highway, I'll get over to the right lane early. So I get over to the right lane as soon as I get into a road. I see.

So if you're on the outer lane, are you not preventing other cars? To me, that's like a more dangerous lane because cars could you could come in and not see you buddy these things are hard for me and i don't like the fact that nobody gave me a soft software upgrade on how to do them yeah i don't know america those are european that's fast that's fucking socialism yeah i to be honest i don't know if i came over and nobody nobody upgraded the people who were taught in driver's ed how to take traffic stops intersections yeah with traffic lights the american way let your car idle spew that uh black smoke out to thin the ozone layer yeah uh roll the coal as they say uh and now we've got these weird

you know communist traffic circles well i'd assume it's probably for like jam-packed rotaries probably for when there's a ton of traffic so that if you're not getting off and that line's a that line's long as hell you can get into the inner lane and then go around that line and get back into the right lane oh okay so you're talking about two a two lane some rotaries have a stoplight at like like when you get off and then those overflow that's dude's literally they don't have a stoplight to get off the circle no like once you get off and then those overflow that's dude's literally they don't have a stoplight to get off the circle no like once you're off the circle there can be a stoplight right there and then that can cause traffic like when you get off of when you get through the holland tunnel and

you get into new york and there's that you're not think that is not a traffic circle i know what a rotary that's the only example i can think of it now. It doesn't even go all the way around. It's a C. I've only ever been on the first quarter of it, so I didn't know that. But there's a traffic light once you turn off the first exit. Doesn't it strike you as rather obvious that when you come out of the Holland Tunnel, you don't have to look to your left to see if more cars are coming around the circle. There's just a wall of concrete there. Yeah, I never actually looked.

And you go up a ramp. I kind of just follow the herd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go up and around and it's a C. The last stop, I think, is Canal Street. I'd assume it's probably for traffic. We know what it's for. we know what it's for we know what it's for and i do believe the science that traffic circles are a more efficient way to keep traffic moving yeah than

an intersection with traffic lights yeah my issue little sasquatch is that nobody has taught me how to do it well it seems like it's pretty self-explanatory. That's probably why they didn't teach. You don't have a good answer for when you go to the middle versus stay on the outside. You just said what you prefer to do. Yeah, I think that's what everyone prefers to do. That's why no one goes in the middle. But that's not the way, though.

There may be... Why would they have two lanes? There must be a reason to keep two lanes. And think about this think about how hard it is to switch lanes when you're on a curve it is you drift out but then you gotta rip back because you're curving again it's not tough though it's really not i've never thought about this ever then you haven't been in a complicated such a small thought no you haven't been in a complicated one i was in one the other day and i said to myself i'm so scared right now

that i'm just gonna keep going around i grew up in a town we had three rotaries in our town i'm gonna wait till this herd thins a little yeah wait till it thins out and we could be here a while so you just went around a bunch i went around at least one and a half times i also again the fucking navigation that gradual line that sends you out of the circle, it could have applied to four different exits. Yeah, that shit infuriates me. It infuriates me. It infuriates me when you're on a long drive and it says, you're turning right in 15 miles.

And then out of nowhere, oh, I guess I was supposed to turn right back there. But you're like, well, why didn't it tell me that that was clearly a right turn? Why did it not tell me about that turn? Are you telling me about. Like when there's a fork in the road and they're like, you were supposed to go that. And it's like,

well, how did I, how was I supposed to know that? Wait, are you saying you add, you miss a turn that they didn't tell you about? They don't tell you about. 15 miles to your trip?

No, like it says your next turn is in 15 miles, but secretly it turns out your next turn was actually supposed to be in 300 feet or in two miles i don't know that sounds like you've got some faulty software there google maps they they tend to be the best yeah they are the gold standard i because i was i was very pro apple maps for a while and then i went to new jersey that's fucking weird yeah and then i went to new jersey that's fucking weird yeah and then i went to new jersey with john kennedy and brandon barrera for to go to new brunswick and my god did we have

a hard time apple maps could not for the life of it figure out where we were i can't believe you were using apple maps it had us like in the middle of the hudson at one point that's the woke map company their narrator is arab no you can actually change it to like any voice really yeah on ways you can have your narrator be dj khaled is that so yeah i don't know who would ever want that but it's for somebody i guess maybe it's for dj khaled i don't know who could possibly be like you know make this eight hour drive go a little faster dj khaled yelling the directions every 30 seconds. Maybe it's for like, because you know when you listen to a lot of music and then it cuts off the music.

Maybe it's like if you're a big Migos fan so that he chimes in and you don't even notice that it cut off the music. Dude, when I used to, when I was in high school, when I first started smoking weed, I didn't want to drive high, but occasionally you would. Yeah, I never have. Really? No, never. I didn't really smoke weed in high school. Also, this was before I knew that driving high was like...

Well, I don't think anyone knew. Fundamentally illegal. Yeah. Or you're actually impaired there was always this like narrative among at least high school idiots yeah that it was like fun driving high is fine don't drive drunk yeah don't drive drunk but driving high is fine yeah no everyone that seemed to be like turns out that's wrong yeah yeah among my friend group that was like a never like i'd watch my friends take like a two gram dab and then drive home and no one would ever even be

like texas when you get home it would just be like i'll see you tomorrow dude no one even considered the idea of that being a bad thing yeah i used to be so paranoid driving high and all the rap music back then 50 cent they would always have sirens in them yeah yeah and i'm telling you i'd be listening to some rap or something i'd be on the highway and one of these fucking like you know uh what's that guy's name fabulous songs yeah i'd be listening to and there'd be a siren that would come on in the background. And I would be looking over my shoulder, pulling off into the fucking breakdown lane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm like, I'm getting pulled over. My life's over.

Should I call my parents now? Yeah. Like, what's the bail going to be? You know, yada, yada. And then you'd see no police cars go by. And you'd be like, oh, it's this rap music. Maybe I should switch to Bob Dylan. Yeah.

no police cars go by and you'd be like oh it's this rap music maybe i should switch to bob dylan yeah when i was in fifth grade we a kid brought a speaker on our bus and played sirens to the speaker and the bus driver pulled over and we were on the highway and it was a big deal people got in a lot of trouble for that he played only sirens he turned his speaker on and he played police sirens wow like super loud and then the it was like this old vietnam veteran bus driver i don't know why bus drivers like if you're a veteran and you're a bus driver i think you're like required to wear your full uniform to work every day he never told anyone he was a vietnam vet you just knew because every single pair of clothes he had fatigue had vietnam veteran oh yeah right

right they must just send you like a fucking care package once a week with just a full jumpsuit i also this is something i've always been troubled by i'm pretty sure you can buy those oh i have a korea vet shirt i think you can fully commit stolen valor yeah through a gift shop in Times Square of purchasing a thing that says like Korean War Vet. Yeah. Or, yeah. I have a Korea Vet shirt. It's like the coolest shirt I own. It's a sick shirt.

Yeah. It says like the Forgotten War on it. It's an awesome shirt, but I can't. Every time I wear it, I post like an Instagram story wearing it one time. People were furious. I didn't realize it was that big of a deal. bought it at a thrift store right yeah i think it is yeah i don't wear it yeah i don't wear it anymore but no one's looking at me being like wow really i wonder if yeah boy he looks young yeah he must have been in the back yeah he must have been cooking in the mess hall you were the dermatologist

for the korean war veterans uh i do wonder if if you had a parent or a grandparent who was who fought in one of those wars and you wore their shirt to honor them is that acceptable i doubt it no i think it probably is if it was like your grandfather was in the korean war you could probably wear korean more but you'd have to explain to people yeah but it's a pretty easy cop out like if someone was like what is why you're wearing that shirt got mad at you for wearing a korean war vet shirt to me that's kind of silly because you're really not trying to pass no and then you'd be like my grandfather was in the korean war and yeah and you do know that the Korean War

was like 60 years ago, right? Yeah. I'm not saying that to you. I'm saying someone who's mad at you for wearing that. Derek Drescher claims that it never ended. It's at a ceasefire. The Korean War? Yeah, because he was stationed in Korea

in like 2002 or some shit derrick drescher was yeah i didn't know that he was in the military he never talks about it i don't know why it's like he has hilarious stories that's cool that's cooler yeah i gotta tell you if i did one week in the military i would be telling stories about it i always tell him you should talk about that on stage and he's like i don't want to be like a military comic. But I'm like, that's not. That's not a thing. There aren't many.

Yeah, true. There are some. Rob Riggle. Yeah. Rob Riggle was a big time Marine Corps. There's a lot of comedians that. There's a good amount of comedians that are veterans. Is that so?

I have no idea. Can you name one more? Do you have one? The guy that opened for me in Portland, Shane was his name. Oh, you know who was in the military? Awesome comic. Really, really funny.

Black comic. Brian Simpson? Yes. Really? Yeah see now we got three yeah right off the top he's really good um yeah he was in the military he's really funny i watched a special i told you that no you didn't i watched a special before i watched a special the day it came out it was very very funny that's very good i watched it because i wanted to see what the mothership looks like oh that's where he shot that's where he shot it but then i watched it i was like damn this is fucking fun he's really good yeah he's sort of like hannibal a little yeah yeah how i i didn't obviously i didn't do comedy when hannibal was super big but when he was really big was he like the biggest uh no but but it was like that way he was like a theater because he i know he was kind of like

maybe unbelievable but was he like but it was like like i know like among comedians everyone says that but was he like well he ran that show he ran that show in uh williamsburg with uh eric andre yeah i think yeah at the knitting. Which became a cult classic show that everyone would go to. Yeah. And then they passed it down to different people as they were blowing up. And the two of them, obviously Hannibal was Eric Andre's right-hand man. I don't know what's up with Hannibal. I haven't seen him in a little bit, but he.

The funniest bit on that, one of my favorite bits on that show is when hannibal sings uh hard in the paint by waka flaka and they bleep every curse word aside for the m word uh well um okay so that's roundabouts yeah i'm kind of just in cruise control because i really overestimated or underestimated how much time i had between my don't tell set and my going to wyoming trip because i was under the impression that i was coming home from san diego and like just like leaving for wyoming my bag has been fully packed for two weeks like like to the point that like my shit is in like the waterproof bags in my bag my fishing rods are strapped to the side of my bag like i'm ready i've been ready to go for over a week she's just gone yeah like i didn't book i have i've had

i had two one show this weekend and I have one show this week. I didn't put in any spots because I was like, well, I'm going to be in Wyoming by then. And then I realized it's this Friday. And then this, it's not even like it's this Friday and then we're not leaving until Sunday. So I'm not even going to go fishing until a week from today. Right. So, but that trip, I'm pumped about that. Really?

Yeah. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah,? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah. I'm very excited. I didn't know. Things have, things have changed around a lot. We keep on having to change locations because we were going to go up to the mountains. And then we realized that, well, apparently there's like, so there's all these like regulations

and shit for Wyoming. Cause it's so Wyoming because the fires. It's so dry out there. So apparently, you can't have a campfire in Wyoming above 9,200 feet. Right. And the hike that we were going to do was the entire thing was above 9,200 feet. I was going to say, are you going to bring an altimeter? What's that?

It tells you how high up you are? Oh, no. It just says on all trails. It starts at like 9,500. Wow. And then it goes up to like 12,000. So we wouldn't have been able to do a fire. Well, no, it doesn't. oh no it just says on all trails like it starts at like nine thousand five hundred wow and then it goes up to like twelve thousand so we wouldn't be able to do a fire well no it doesn't yeah it does twelve thousand yeah okay why is that crazy because uh you're not gonna go up that high

that's snow i think yeah well that's what we're not going anymore you originally had planned to be camping at 12 000 12 000 feet is the tops of like veil mountain and yeah places like that i've gone on hikes that high before though yeah maybe you're right in the summer i guess it's not snow 12 000 is high but it's not like like 14 000 is where you're like really high yeah that's crazy but 12 000 is high what's the highest you've ever been in your life 12 000 you've been to 12 000 yeah but i've been to 12 000 i went to 12 000 on a telluride so i guess it was skiing yeah but i've been to no the one i did one in wyoming that was probably close to 12 000 it might have been more towards 11 000 but that was fine like that was like we we went swimming in that it was fucking freezing yeah i've done

some glacial swims it's sick it's cool the water is as clean as it gets yeah it does feel pretty it's chilly i was in the French Alps when I did that. Yeah, it's sick. Hiked up, steepest thing I've ever hiked. And then hiked down to a basin and swam. Yeah, that's why we wanted to go fishing at an alpine lake because you're just sight fishing. You can just see the fish everywhere. Right, right.

But yeah, we decided it's going be too cold yeah at this time of year you got to go in like august can you tell me a little bit about surf casting no i don't know anything about it what is surf casting i don't i'd never heard of it either what is it just casting on the shore i don't know i guess i guess you're casting over the wave break yeah i mean that's i think it's just casting from the shore someone was telling me about it i don't i haven't really done saltwater fishing outside of with you in a while. Yeah. But I don't know.

I don't know. I know the term. Are you eating a lot of fish these days? No. So that's like another thing. It's like, so we, the plan was to do, we were going to go to this one river in Wyoming. That's, that's that my buddy knows about it's really good and we were then we were going to go up to uh elk or not uh to cloud wilderness cloud peak wilderness that's what it's called and then i emailed them i emailed their

like conservation office and i was like what's the deal with the fires and instead of just i just wanted someone to tell me that you can do a fire because all these lists online are like, here's what you can't do. They don't tell you what you can do. They just tell you what you can't do. So then you just got to go by like elimination. Like, okay, so I guess we can't do that. We can't do this. Maybe we can do this. And then I emailed them and they just sent me the exact same list that was online. And they were like, oh, by the way, there's also a food storage regulations right now too for bears bears yeah so then we would have to bring a bear box which is heavy and put all of your food into a bear box which then that takes up like not because like you can bring food and it's not going to take

up a ton of space in your bag because you're squishing it into random places then if you have in this massive box it's going to take up half your backpack so it was just like all right we can't this is not going to be enjoyable we can't do this also up half your backpack so it was just like all right we can't this is not going to be enjoyable we can't do this also like half the fun of it is sitting at a fire at night that's the best part yeah the whole point yeah so we're like we're not gonna all huddle around a fucking propane stove at night no with like headlamps on like that sucks so now we're just doing we're just going to do fish rivers all week oh perhaps some creeks no no hiking at all no which i'm absolutely fine with yeah but you're

still sleeping outside we're still sleeping outside we're camping every night and you'll be able to do your fires yeah but i'm like dude the whole entire trip i've been like planning the trip i've been like i want to fish all day yeah and now we're going to be doing that it's you peters bow yeah that's it is there any chance i could come and i'm being serious um honestly yeah if you wanted to it would be like the thing that sucks about that is that the thing that sucks about stuff like that though is that because then there's one person on the trip who's not as good as fishing and everyone else and then we have to like tie on your flies you're right and i don't want to do that to the group and and also knowing you know i'm a quick study so i would pick it up so fast that it would be me and bo eating the pack

no peter's a little behind us and all of a sudden it's you at the bottom and we're tying your flies and we're quietly talking like you know it is it's it is kind of a it's kind of like a demasculating feeling having someone else tie on your it's like having like it's like when i played hockey and there'd always be like one kid who was a little too old to have his dad be in the locker room tying his skates on for him you'd be like you're strong enough to be able to tie your skates right right like everyone else they learn you learn like i think like probably like fourth grade is probably like the the barrier where it's like the parents stop coming in the locker room now we talk about guy stuff grabbing pussy and whatnot yeah and and and

it would be weird because then there would be like one kid who he'd like like the coach would be like giving us the pre-game talk and then the dad would be like standing outside of the locker room and the kid would just be sitting there with his skates untied and then we'd all have to wait while the dad comes in all right guys enough about the pussy talk right this guy's coming in to tie his skates right coincidentally he would usually be like the best player on the team oh he'd be like because his dad had like a certain way that he tied the skates right i remember one day one game my dad decided to my dad like read something online and was like i'm gonna tie your skates pretty loose today. He's like, apparently it's better for your ankles or some shit.

Literally couldn't skate at all. I don't understand. When I try to skate, I guess you just get used to it, but the skates feel so weird to me. Really? I feel like I'm just wobbling around. They don't feel tight to my foot they don't think and maybe i'm wearing ones that are too big or not good ones like rentals yeah did you ever get your actual own skates no i didn't i didn't deserve them yeah so that's why because

when you have your actual skates that are like fit perfectly to your feet oh it just feels like you're wearing shoes you want to hear a crazy story sure hockey was big where i grew up yeah maine maine was huge actually paul korea went to the university of maine they had a national championship contending if not winning program when i was in middle school yeah they went to the frozen four and i think they actually went to the national championship. What college? University of Maine. Oh, really?

Yeah. I didn't know University of Maine competed in the Frozen Four. Yeah, the Black Bears, yeah. It's up in Orono. Probably one of the worst places to go to college in America. Why? It is so far away in the middle of fucking nowhere. There is nothing for miles. I know a couple people that go to University of Maine.

They love it. I think people like it, but you're not, I mean, getting back to school from wherever you live. I think it's a lot of people from Maine who go there. That's where beer dye was invented. Really? At University of Maine. Is that true? I believe so yeah interesting that's

my friend that go went to university of maine lied about it interesting um well anyway they do have good colors i like the colors the light blue and the navy and all that um so they uh is that true owen wow yeah wow interesting. University of Maine, 1974. Yeah. Wow, interesting. Fun fact. All right. What are we talking about? Hockey.

Hockey. I grew up in Freeport, Maine, and I had two very... I had a very, very... Probably my closest friend in middle school who was a very good hockey player. Yeah. And played, you know, mites or yuck yucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peewees or pippins or whatever the fuck you guys call middle school was probably peewees peewees yeah go and then i had another very good friend who was also a hockey player went to a different school and he anyway i'm not gonna give too many details because this story gets weird so i guess they were playing

in a travel hockey game against each other and the game that one team is losing by like three goals or something so the game's over and one of my buddies my best friend is sort of skating around and you know killing the last couple seconds on the clock and then my other friend and they were not friends yeah came up and i guess hit him yeah pretty dirty yeah last second of the game and decked him high cross check to the neck whatever peewees too i don't know peewees i don't know what it was i wasn't there but everyone's screaming oh throw him out. You know, game ends.

My best friend's dad, very respected member of Maine society. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is so angry at this that he went into the opposing team's locker room. Damn. went into the opposing team's locker room with a hockey stick and brandished it at my other friend and screamed at him and was like shaking the stick. Yeah.

That family of my other friend sued my best friend's family. Damn. And it became sort of a high profile case yeah i'm sure and they claimed you know emotional damage and psychological harm and he'd been never been the same ever since this incident all that and then ultimately the case the judge or whatever was like these claims are completely baseless yeah you know and then um they saw the parents saw each other at a high school game yeah and started like getting into a fight there really and i think someone i i hope people might be able to figure out this story so i don't want to,

I don't even really care. It was public knowledge, but the point is I was friends with both of these guys. No one is going to be able to find this story. It's old. Yeah. Um, maybe they will.

I think one of the, we used to, the, one of the schools I went to the, there was a big hill that went down to the sort of, uh, soccer field, football field yeah and that's where people would sit yeah and at that game my friend's dad went to mock

the other family for losing the case and was like this guy's here to sue everybody yeah and his other son pushed him down the hill damn i think that's right that's crazy we had a hill like that too yeah but for football yeah yeah and i remember that's what people would like go do drugs on the hill oh really i like people at our football games people would like wear viking helmets and then like get to bring a sled and they would sled down the hill well i guess you guys there's probably snowy all the time no no this was in in the football season in the fall oh i guess they probably know snow not yet not yet soon point is i never could commentate on this yeah it was one of those things i was friends with

both guys yeah but i was better friends with one of them yeah and uh super weird super uncomfortable yeah it's pretty uncomfortable pretty crazy right yeah i'm trying to think if we have any like big sports scandals like that not really because i don't my town was very like you knew who you knew in your town you didn't know people in other towns really yeah i don't know i i don't know a lot of your towns were big maine i i knew you knew everybody within two towns yeah we didn't know i didn't know but also my town's not big it's 16 000 people is that big that seems pretty good size i don't can you look up the population of um of yarmouth maine yeah i didn't know i i it's probably grown a lot over the eight thousand so

half the size of yours and that's grown eight thousand yeah it's pretty small that was like one of the more medium-sized towns in maine yeah so they would always it was class a b c d based on the size of your school yeah we were class b class a was the biggest interesting yeah yeah that was like a foreign concept like we didn't i don't know anybody from the towns outside of my town i never did i proved to be not cool enough um to date the girls at my own high school so i just started dating girls at other high schools yeah because i could come in i made a good first impression yeah but when people got to know me they were like this guy sucks yeah he listens to really weird music yeah or sings in an acapella group and does theater might be gay i don't know yeah like i don't know no one from

none of my friends dated anyone outside of our town nothing wow you guys are real small town hometown very yeah that's crazy they were such cute girls at other schools you didn't you never wanted to go fishing a different stream never saw him ever never even saw him you never went to like a rival high school's dance you know shake the old leg behind enemy lines never guys that you used to you used to gear up and go to war against in a big game under their lights now all of a sudden you're dancing you know jigging it up with their girls no never once no never multi-town parties no multi-town parties maybe i just wasn't invited to those ones but no never no i genuinely can't think of a single person who who lived outside of my town did you go to parties in high school not really like maybe a couple i think i did like a little bit junior year of high school and then senior year is when we started getting uninvited from parties

it was very strange it was like the opposite like usually people it's like they don't get invited to parties like for the first couple years of high school and then like their later years you had to be invited it wasn't just free-for-all house no there's like vivid memories of like us like texting people be like hey could we come and they're like nah yeah i had that too i'm with uh my buddies so you mind if we come through yeah yeah sorry dude i'm gonna here's one not even a reason why just like no this is a point. I'm really glad you brought this up because I'm going to resolve another beef here. And this one is my own.

So I had a party my sophomore year. My parents were out of town. And so I had just gone to a new school. I went to Yarmouth High School. I just switched there from Cheverus. Yeah. And I was the new kid and I was friends with a lot of the seniors

because I had made the soccer team. And they took a shine to me. I was friends with all the older kids i thought i was cool that wore off quick yeah but in the first couple of weeks of my sophomore year in the fall soccer season life was good i was riding high people are trying to figure out what to do for the weekend i'm like well my parents are out. Yeah. Whoops. Yeah. Whoops. Yeah. That starts getting around. And, you know, people are coming. And it's starting to get a little out of my control. Like, you know, people are just whatever. They're just spilling beers.

It's like immediately the idea of getting away with this where my parents aren't going to find out seems like it's getting farther and farther away. But this kid showed up, Kevin. His name was Kevin. Can't remember his last name. If I knew it, I'd say it because fuck this kid. Yeah. And he was a year older than me. He hadn't been invited.

I didn't know him. And he shows up and he rings the doorbell. Yeah. He's got a case of beer. And he's like, can I come in? And I was like, dude,

I'm sorry, but like, this is already way more than I can handle. Yeah. Like I'm terrified. Yeah. Um, I'm full or whatever.

And then he just like went and sat in his car and drank with another guy named rob and then other people who were inside the party kept coming to me and being like dude kevin's a good guy yeah he's just sitting outside like he sure he can't like he sure he can't let him in finally i was like all right fuck it whatever yeah fine let him in yeah so he comes in thanks me fuck it get kevin in here a year goes by kevin has a party oh yeah this is always a problem in high school and i text them yeah hey man can i come and he's like sorry man no and it's like dude whatever happened short memory on you kevin yeah you fucking dick yeah he was the goalie on the hockey team ah yeah and he had a hot younger sister but but i couldn't she wasn't interested in me because that would have been a good way to get revenge just to fuck his sister

sure i mean that i was thinking make out with her but if you want to go there you know that's fine fuck what was his name kevin something spacey uh-uh anyway you know what gives me peace is that i think that a lot of those people are living pretty shitty lives right now yeah not all of them but some of them i like to think that kevin is washing dishes at the muddy do you think he still lives in maine probably yeah a lot of people move something i've noticed many tried and then they came back yeah but also because means it's just a great place to live. It is. It's a nice place. I'd like to go up to Maine. There's really good fishing up there.

We would do some good fishing up in Maine, pal. We really would. In fact, a fan DM'd me, fan of this show, and was like, hey, next time you're up in Maine, I run a brewery up north. And we have boats. And if you guys ever want to do some salmon fishing oh i'll take you out gear you up that would be sick salmon fishing would be sick yeah what's the deal with salmon how long do salmon live they live very short lives right is that so i think they live i don't know what they're i know some salmon like die at the end of the season yeah there's uh there's the thing about salmon

and you probably don't know this one to three years's the thing about salmon and you probably don't know this one to three years yeah the thing about salmon is that they there's all kinds of different salmon i know that so there's salmon there's freshwater salmon there's saltwater salmon yeah did you know that i did there's coho yeah there's sockeye yeah uh there's king aura aura king might be another one yep um all of these are salmon yeah there's a ton of salmon yeah i think there's silver silverback salmon perhaps no those are gorillas silver there's definitely a silver salmon well i think they're all pretty silver this show is sponsored by better help when life goes so fast it's important to take a moment to celebrate your wins and make adjustments for the rest of the year

therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months i've actually been benefiting a lot from therapy yeah uh you know challenging times in my life kind of finished the special, was pretty worn down, felt very depleted, confused, unbored, didn't know which way to go next. It's time to set some realistic goals. Yeah, therapy definitely helped like frame my life and give me like, give myself some grace. Exactly.

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No, no, no. Yeah, because see how it says Coho and then in parentheses silver salmon. That's just to make sure people know exactly which one they're talking about. That's like, you know, if you were telling you a child, like you can also call it a silver to a child to let them know king salmon are sick king salmon get huge the best but apparently from i've heard from some other anglers up uh up north in the upper two that uh that the king salmon population is declining yeah i think we overfished yeah a little bit but someone was also telling me that if you get out to Alaska at the right time of year, you throw a line in the water, it is a frenzy.

Yeah. You can't catch too many. I heard one of my agents was telling me that there was a comedian who was supposed to do a show in Anchorage, and he didn't realize that the show was booked for opening day of salmon fishing season in alaska and he had to move the show oh my god yeah it's that big of a deal huh yeah that's so sick that's like but that's also i don't think anchorage i think anchorage like i think that part of alaska has like decent like obviously compared to the lower 48 it has like unbelievable fishing but i think when you get

north of that but because that like that around anchorage that area that's where you see those videos of people where it's like 10 000 you can walk across the water pretty much yeah but it's like the ones where it's like there's like oh there's like thousands of people all fishing the exact and they're not even like fishing they're just trying to like snag a fish yeah right so they're just taking the line and just going and then ripping it out just doing that for hours and it's like people wearing like jeans yeah and they're like they're like 300 pounds it's disgusting disgusting just wearing their slacks and loafers knee deep in the water yeah yeah damn well i don't know i think it'd be fun to do a little bit of a fishing trip with you i'm not gonna come alaska i would love to go to alaska i appreciate the um the invite

to wyoming but i wouldn't call it an invite i don't think it was more just like we wouldn't decline no i know if you were like i bought the ticket i wouldn't be like well you're just free i mean for you to kevin for you to tell me there's a spot for me uh i feel bad saying i can't make it the problem is like we already got the three-person tent and you're like two people alone so because sometimes we'll get a two-person tent and we'll just sleep horizontal we'll sleep like perpendicular to the way that you're supposed to. What?

Perpendicular? Parallel. No, perpendicular. You're not going to sleep at a T in a tent. That's crazy. What are you talking about? Well, I would think parallel would be sleeping the long way. So we'll sleep the short way.

Well, the short way of sleeping in a tent is to scrunch your knees up and sleep on your side. See, but that's what I'm saying is that you would have to do that we just sleep normal because we can still fit the long or i get a fucking another three-person tent and bo and peters by night two are crashing with me because the vibes are way higher and we both know that's what would happen and you'd fucking hate me and there goes the chemistry from the podcast sleeping in a tent is awful and we've already made the we've already made the we had to make a pact and be like we have to sleep in the tent every time really because when we went to iceland the plan was to sleep in a tent every night we slept in a tent for one night

and then we got a hotel every single night yeah i remember and i was like i can't spend more money on this trip we're getting the tent we're not sleeping in a hotel you do get used to it if you push yourself hard enough during the day and you have you get to a point of sleep deprivation i do believe you can kind of no yeah you can definitely you can definitely sleep if you have a good sleeping pad you can sleep easily yeah the problem is when we went to colorado in september we i don't know why i decided that i was going to try and like i was like that's the thing with these trips is a lot of times you just brush it off you're like oh well we're not going to need that yeah we'll figure it out we'll figure that out so for some reason i decided to cheap out on we rented sleeping stuff and they were like sleeping pad and i was like no we don't need a sleeping pad sleeping on the ground dude i slept with a fucking boulder wedged into my spine the entire night

it was the worst night of sleep it's like now i'm like oh i'd rather just sleep in my clothes with a sleeping pad yeah i'd rather not have a sleeping bag than not have a sleeping pad i remember you ever hear you hear stories about people sleeping in their car yeah have you ever slept in your car no i've slept in my car and i'm talking like the front seat i didn't put the seats down and put a mattress yeah yeah i slept in my car the way you would if you were sitting in the passenger seat and someone else was the back yeah yeah i slept in my car the way you would if you were sitting in the passenger seat and someone else was driving yeah yeah and it was awful it's it's unbelievable but those people who are homeless who end up sleeping in their car and doing a sponge bath in the 7-eleven bathroom with the gigantic key planet fitness they all they all is that where they go

fitness memberships yeah i think if you go to planet fitness long enough eventually you'll see like a pack of homeless people wandering and scan their cards they're all members they're all still jacked you're like what's this all about and then they all scan in and you're like yeah they can't even tell them to leave um so uh my point being though that those people who sleep in their car night after night yeah the fact they're they're probably not sleeping as badly as i did no because being homeless is very tiring yeah and they can you know dude those guys can probably go down for 20 hours no problem every day yeah bargatze has that great bit oh really from a long time ago but i was jealous of like the homeless people sleeping on the sidewalks in new york oh yeah he's like this guy's in a bed in bed he's

like asleep at 8 30 p.m yeah yeah he's gonna get a good nine and a half hours yeah yeah like i wish i could i i wish i could have my life together like that dude if you get if you're if you give a homeless person like a like a tempurpedic mattress they could probably sleep for like a week straight yeah yeah they're like french bulldogs the reason that the main reason so the so we switched the trip away from the mountain we're not hiking the mountain yeah i'm bummed about that i was looking forward to that for us i'm not bummed but the the the main reason was that i went on all trails pro membership of course yeah and they tell you the weather and they tell you the weather on the mountain and i was looking at it and i was like

oh the place that we're hiking it says it's going to be 24 degrees today and i was like this trip's two weeks out if it's 24 degrees today that means that i mean obviously that was like an it was like an unnormal day that was not that was not an average day yeah but abnormal but it was like that means that it could still get into like the 30s and 40s while we're out there it will get into the 30s and 40s yeah freezing and of course no one believes me because it's just every time i bring up something it's like dude you're so paranoid you just worry and i'm like well also you just don't you just you don't always tell the truth but i'm looking at things i'm looking at it on my phone that are

opinion but that is fact see this is the exact same thing but you lose credibility no we had this argument they were like it's not going to be that cold i'm like but it is fact scientists are saying this is what the temperature is there right now listen man and then so beau was like i'm gonna go do a little test hike i'm gonna go see how bad it is so he went out to color oh he's out he's not out there no he did one night this was this was like this weekend oh so he went out to colorado he did a test test hike. And he said that he thinks that if we did the original hike that we were planning on doing, that we wouldn't be friends with him anymore because of how miserable it would be. He said that it was freezing and it was thunderstorming the entire time. And he said that at one point he was praying to god asking asking to stop the rain

how hard it was raining he said he was like lord of the rings like lightning bolts were shooting down around him and he was like there was nothing he could do because he couldn't it was pitch black out he couldn't get his shit and leave so he had to just like hope that no trees fell on him in the middle of the night. Well, he slept out there. He slept out there. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. So now we are sticking to around 7,000 feet. That sounds right. Yeah. That sounds like the right call. How long are you going for? A long time. Six nights. that sounds like the right call how long you going for a long time six six nights

so seven days of fishing what happens if you guys get into a fight there will be a blowout really there always is but there will be a there will we've already made jokes about it like there's gonna be like a borderline tears fight there always is and what does that usually stem from it's never matt's never involved it's always me and beau really because matt won't matt will take the bullshit i don't i'll i'll go back in iceland the last night we were in iceland we were in a hotel lobby hammered and me and beau got into like a four hour argument about if Hitler was a genius or not. And he was on the side that he was, and I was on the side that he wasn't. Looking back on it, he's probably right. My argument was that Hitler's not a genius because if he was a genius,

he wouldn't have killed 6 million Jews. And his thing was, well well to get into the position that he was in so easily you have to be a genius yeah i mean that they're right i've i've had i've heard that argument yeah i i don't i'm a little confused about and this is going to sound insane why does what's the correlation between his genocide of the jews and his intelligence my thing was that if he was so smart then he wouldn't have killed all those people because it's not a smart thing to do okay but like i i don't i don't put it along like smart lines i put it along that was kind of what the argument was evil or yeah he's evil That was what the argument was about. But again,

and I don't want to have this debate with you. This is too, this is not light fodder for a podcast. Well, it's like, I don't know. I don't really care. That's the thing. I don't care either. I'm just confused by your point.

I'm confused by your point. It doesn't care at all. I'm confused by your point. It doesn't seem relevant. I don't know. Yeah, it probably wasn't relevant. Both point is Hitler was a genius because of how he took over a nation. I don't even think it was that. I think he said we were talking about something and then somehow Hitler came up and then he called him a genius. And then I was like, he's not a fucking genius. He's an idiot.

And then it started into this. Which is just, it's a never ending argument. There's no right answer. It's just, you're, to me, that argument, the two of you are sleeping perpendicular to each other. Yes. So that will happen. There will be a fight. Well, to be honest with you, that's not as bad as what I thought.

You're having, you're having fights over weird historical no but that was because that trip was more luxury than it was what we're doing this time this time like we've gone fishing together and gotten in big arguments like little like it gets to a point on those trips with any of your friends it gets to a point where there's something little and you need to keep doing it and you keep going that's yeah that's getting a little annoying someone keeps trying to lead and getting you in the wrong place or you disagree about where you should fish where you should camp someone eats all of the s'more fixings exactly uh selfishly with bow the big argument that we usually one of the arguments we usually get into is that when we go fishing he likes to walk really far down the river and then fish back towards the

car which is smart it's a smart thing to do i like to start right at the car because i'm excited i want to fish right away and i like to fish and then work down the river and then just walk back sure because you're not fishing that far it's like you end up fishing like two miles listen half and dozen in one hand the dozen half in the other what's that saying six in one hand half a dozen in the other that might be it yeah it sounds different strokes for different folks yeah yeah i got no problem with either of your yeah his feels more efficient it feels more efficient but then also then you're setting a end point when you're fishing down the river there is no end point you're just going until you feel like stopping he is it's like we get back to the car and then you're like oh i guess we're done in theory he could keep going up the up the river past the car

not really nobody's doing that depending on the river because some of those rivers the access gets tight oh i see places okay so you guys get into these arguments and uh when when they unfold and do you guys start yelling at each other no it's never like it's more like saying really mean things at each other oh really like no but like stuff that you'll laugh off like it's like you're laughing you guys don't gonna retire to your separate quarters not talk to each other for a while and then peters isn't like guys come on no he's the middleman we're all friends here and then you come back and do you guys like apologize to each other no it'll it'll continue i'll be like you're a fucking idiot and you just

stay angry at each other no like the anger does not last but it's i'll never apologize never apologize that's crazy we got in a big argument in denver because i made fun of him for his glass because he had glasses i didn't think it was a big deal just a just a classic riff and that was like the most angry i've ever seen him huh yeah and then i had i apologized for that i'm gonna be honest with you i'm on both side here yeah because i love you about what what you don't even know what the arguments are about just in general i tend to think that you are an incredibly combative person yeah that's because i'm always right you just you seem to enjoy you seem to enjoy it yeah i like to bicker and i like doing it

to because it's amusing to me i like to yeah i just take the other side even though i don't actually believe necessarily what I'm saying. Yeah, it's just little shit. It's not like we don't ever get in an actual argument where it's like, you shouldn't have done that. It's never, if you're talking in a calm voice. So you don't get personal? No. I thought you did. That sounded like you guys get personal.

I mean, maybe, but it's not like- Mocking him for his glasses? But that's not like him for his glasses but that's not a that's not like personal what if those are it's not like well that's why source of insecurity for him yeah maybe he had dreams of being in the air force well he got lasik like two months later so maybe it was for the best wow you made him do that i mean, do you not get in arguments with your friends? I do. I do.

But are they not like fun? We try not to. Yeah, see, we don't try not to. Because it ruins the time. Like we got in an argument today. Like we were yelling at each other over the water levels at the river that we're going to. Being friends with you must be fucking exhausting but that was a full-on like we were yelling like we were yelling at each other

on the phone yeah but it's not like us no but that's not like a serious argument sure no of course yeah there's not really anything that i would get that mad about no you don't get you actually don't like if we went on the hike like if we did the hike that would have been worse like i would have probably started crying yeah because they are in way better they they work out two times a day every day like i don't yeah that's great i'm not i'm not built for that so if we did that then that would have that would have come to tears yeah right i get that because then then you start going back well i didn't want to go on this trip to begin with i wanted to go to i wanted to go to patagonia like you start you start coming up with digs from shit that happened a year ago right this is exactly like iceland

like that's where it gets personal yeah that's tough yeah How far away is where you're going from a potential hotel room? Not far. The place that, yeah, see that, no, that's where the problem started was because we were looking at the, the first place we're going, it's kind of far, but we're only going there for like two days. So we're obviously going to camp then. And then the second place that we're going, we were looking at one of the places to park the car and uh there was like a lodge like uh 500 feet away and then i looked at the google images of the lodge and it looks so sick and i was like i feel like we're gonna end up here why don't you i mean i don't mind that for you guys no i don't think anyone does but it's also we already spent all the money on all this gear yeah right you're trying to prove to yourself like at least in

iceland it was like we rented all the shit when we got there yeah so it's like we didn't actually buy anything right so we don't if we're not gonna can't also iceland it was raining and freezing the entire time right okay yeah all right well listen i'm excited about your trip i'm excited to hear what you guys get into yeah i'm coming back that monday morning so we'll record that day it'll be fresh unreal yeah sick it'll be a fresh is it all catch and release so the first place we're going to it's a three trout limit and it's i think you can't keep anything over 16 inches and then the second place we're going to it's all catch and release cool but now we're gonna have the car so we're gonna be able to just cook

we'll be able to bring a cooler and just bring food and have steaks and shit put the fish on ice yeah drinking some beers i'm not a huge also, I'm not a huge catch- I'm not a huge catch-and-cook person. Why not? I don't know. Like, if you catch, like, a huge trout, that's like a rare- Trout don't get that big.

So if you catch a big trout, it kind of feels, like, fucked up just killing it and eating it. Sure, but that is also honoring the fish. Yeah, but wouldn't you rather just kill a small fish? I'm not really excited about killing fish in general. That's what I just said. And then you just said, well, it's about honoring the fish.

Wouldn't the best way to honor it be let it go back and live? I don't care. Or ingest it and take its soul into your own and then breathe it out into the atmosphere i'm not anti-catch and cook but i'm not anti-catch and release either because some people are like some people will catch a fish and they don't even know what the fish is but they're like i'm well i'm bringing it home obviously i'm not gonna not eat this fish like people eat all sorts of fish like people go people eat catfish people go catfish fishing and they just they bring home these fucking 80 pound catfish what's why do you say that as though it's crazy have you ever looked at a catfish they're like man i want to eat that no

those things are fucking but i'm also they have like antennas i didn't grow up in a fucking mark twain novel yeah so that's just different for me it's a different experience i eat striped bass striped bass is great i would eat any bass though i would eat a largemouth bass those are that's what they are ocean bass or largemouth ocean bass or striped bass you know there's also ocean trout or sea trout i told you that there were and then there's lake trout there's sea trout lake trout and river trout no there's no such thing as a river that's what you guys are going to catch river trout there's sea, lake trout. And river trout. No, there's no such thing as a river trout. That's what you guys are going to catch. River trout.

There's sea trout, lake trout, rainbow trout, brown trout, cutthroat trout, brook trout. Brook trout aren't technically trout. No, because it's not enough water. No, brook trout are in rivers. No, brook trout are when it's raining really hard and a brook forms. No, brook trout are technically not trout and they swim down those they're technically not trout a lot of people don't know that well i'm not gonna take that from them how far in are we right now i was hoping we were at like an hour 30 and i was gonna be like let's just

let's just keep going this doesn't suck no so let So let's pause. Or like. Well, we'd have to end the episode. Let's do that. All right. Well, I guess we'll wrap it up there. I'm going to be in Austin, Texas in a couple weeks. July 12th and 13th at the Vulcan. Tickets at littlesasquatchwebsite.com.

I'll be there in September I think at the Creek in the Cave. Tickets at Francis Ellis dot com. That's not true.

Punch up live. It's in my Instagram bio. Check it out. Does Francis Ellis dot com not exist anymore? I'm getting rid of

that. Really? Yeah. Just going to use the punch up live. Power move. I've also got well we have to figure it out if we're going to Cleveland.

All right. Plenty of dates coming up this fall. Thanks, guys.