Son of a Boy Dad - Mac to Davis | Son of a Boy Dad #181

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

Mac to Davis | Son of a Boy Dad #181 -- Lil Sasquatch, Rone, & Francis catch up on the weekend, theirs & the NFL -- Ad: NETFLIX | THE GENTLEMEN LIKE IT WHEN YOU WATCH. https://netflix.com/thegentlemen -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Ad: Son of a Boy Dad is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/SON today to get 10% off your first month. -- Ad: Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/son50 and use code son50 to get 50% off. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before the wheel. Yeah. Sandbag. Bag of sand. Yeah.

Bag of sand. All right. We're good to go. If you could talk into the mic, that'd be great. You have a lighter, Tyler? You're good. I just wanted to get these. It's fine. I was going to light the candle.

Your little fruity-ass one. Oh, this? This is where we body armor exclusive. No, I'm fine. They left trash in here. That might have been us. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is March 11th, and we are here live from hq3 we got a who

done it on our hands too we got ourselves a classic who done it yeah some ne'er-do-well has trashed our studio some barstool beast decided to come in here and destroy the entire studio some vagrant miscreant has caused a caper and And it's tough because we already fired Tico Texas and troops. Exactly. That's narrowing things down. I mean, those would be the two main. Could have been AB. AB.

Antonio Brown. I thought you were talking about Alex Bennett, who. Could have been Alex Bennett, too, to be fully honest. And has the same last name. What's going on here has she why is her name still bennett once a bennett always true it's tough to switch i feel like once you get married you just got to stick with what you can't switch your name three times in your life you could go back though that would be back to the first switch yeah but it still

counts as a switch yeah that's still like you got to go to the DMV, get a new license, probably get a new passport. I mean, change your Instagrams. You got to change the handle. Change your handle. And you're just hoping that the handle is available. Because you don't want to become a numbers in the username guy in your 30s. Yeah. God forbid an underscore.

Throw in a dash. Actually, me and Francis had a little bit of a problem yesterday with he's got a dash in his Venmo. And let's just say another Francis Ellis now has $250. But they automatically put the dash in Venmo's. It's not like you selected the dash. I don't have a dash. That is correct. I think that's right. And I think this other Francis Ellis, And I think this other Francis Ellis, at Francis Ellis, just created a username close to mine to receive mistaken Venmo payments meant for me.

And it made me wonder, how many times has this happened? How much has he made? That was probably the first time and probably the last time it'll happen. I don't know, dude. Are you getting a lot of Venmo payments on the road? People sent, well, just in life.

In general, I guess. He's respected like that. People send them to me. Like a black person's birthday. are you getting a lot of venmo payments on the road people said well just in in general i guess he's respected like that people send them to me like a black person's birthday they just get money sent to you is that how they do it black dudes will just put out their uh their their like their venmo on their birthday and just be like bless me oh i thought you meant like they get like a stack no it's like damn white style bless me like it's my birthday fucking hit me up which i think is that's cool i like that's very cool obviously it's very cool doesn't that suck that that's the best gift you can get yeah no like dana white gave who didn't he give one of the nelk boys 500 grand in cash probably for their birthday come on like that's pretty hard to up it's pretty hard to get

a better gift than that that's crazy yeah but i mean i'm not wrong are you sure he did that for that knock boy yeah pretty confident one of the boys which i don't know one of them probably steve or i mean if i'm giving 500k i'm giving it to kyle oh absolutely kyle deserves it the most but kyle's also the richest so he probably doesn't need it the most i get jealous of those boys. They're good boys, and they are making a ridiculous amount of money. I just saw a truck for their sparkling seltzer thing just driving around, and I thought, well, they own their own means to transportation?

I guess, yeah. Like Amazon? They bought their own shipping routes? I guess. That's how deep in the Sparkling Seltzer game they are? That drink is very popular. That's insane. Local governments are

lobbying to have the next Happy Dad facility like an Amazon fulfillment center. This is going to add so many jobs to our area. AOC is vetoing Happy Dad production facilities in burgeoning communities. We got to get one in Flint.

We need a happy dad in Flint. It would save it. Start washing your hands with it. Their kids will have fewer developmental problems. I know. Just put it through the pipes. Put the happy dad through the pipes. Like Drano, it'll clean everything out.

Drano, it'll clean everything out. By the way, it occurred to me that I think in any American city where they tell you don't drink the water here is as embarrassing of a public infrastructure failure as you can have.

Like New York City are you talking about? No, New York they say you can drink the tap water. I have a filter like a little container that I filter through. The shit that pops up in that filter is fucking disgusting absolutely like you could wipe like a brown layer off of what of the filtered out part dude and i know and i spread it on toast a little bit of my yeah it's that brown sauce. Whatever from England, what are they? Dude, I didn't know in Denver they give out the government supplies Britas to all the people there. Is that bad?

Yeah. And then they're supposed to send you a new filter. Every month. Un-American. Isn't plumbing and the aqueducts literally one of the oldest inventions? Oh, yeah. It is. And we just don't, we never figured out how to like.

You still haven't figured out the wheel. We just touched on this before we started recording. It's complicated. Did you watch that Bill Gates documentary? No. Becoming Bill or Being Bill or whatever. Bill Nye? No, Bill Gates.

I'm just a Bill. Well. Bill Withers. Who was the, I was trying to think of the the cartoon the little kid cartoon yeah i'm just a bill no no that's that's the mr bill little bill yeah little bill this documentary he talks about how they've saying you know they're talking about in bad nations or developing countries how they they suffer from polio right and other diseases that are spread through unclearing water from that is tainted with fecal stuff and he said you know he explains the documentary about the

how we clean our sewage and how easy it is and he says we solved this The fact that we haven't brought this to every nation is sad. We're just greedy. We're like, we need you guys to keep getting polio, keep us on top, keep us crushing at the Olympics. I don't think it can't be polio, because polio has been eradicated to like 99.8% of... Basically, if you get polio still, you're a bitch. Yeah, they cured that shit they do but there are

some places there's like one place left that gets it what is the place i can't i'm not gonna say i don't want to put them on blast yeah what is it i don't know dude let's get off this all right well now i'm extremely curious what a tease the way, Sass and I have spent, I'm officially going to say it, we have spent too much time together. Oh, yeah. I feel like you guys spent too much time by your first foray into Wisconsin. Like by the time you guys were on the flight, it had already been too much time. We reached a point where I was like, he does not like me as a person. No, that didn't happen at all.

He was saying that. I didn't feel that way. I wasn't ever. You got very snippy with me. And I was like, all right, he needs some space for me. No, I don't think that was the case. I think Wisconsin, which we both said, it was a very long weekend. It's fucking freezing there.

It was long. It felt like Denver was like fast and fun. It was long. Wasn't like the same amount of days yeah but something about something about wisconsin was long as long the company you kept maybe no we had a good time we we were had a blast i had a good time and but i could tell that sass there was a point where everything that was coming out of his mouth was just negative just a bat he wants to battle I think I was in I forget when but I was definitely in a nasty mood at some point it was when we were going shopping going to get you

we were doing you a favor we were driving the rental car to L.L. Bean to get you new pants he's wearing jeans Sass is a jeans man now I also gotta go get new shoes because we went to go get the pants and it was pouring outside.

And then we got there and I tried on the pants and I took my shoes off and my socks were see-through. They were soaking wet. To that level? Yeah. It was middle of the day, Saturday. I said I was going to get trench foot if I kept them on any longer. The bean that he had found on the map was a 15-minute drive away.

We had the rental car. Congrats to you for even finding the bean, though. Most men can't. It's tough to find it. He doesn't have the ability to drive the rental car because he's not 25. That was pissing me off. And I'll get. That's under.

So I needed to drive him. Come on now. And he was like, will you guys come with me to the bean? And Mook said, I don't want to. I want to go work out in the hotel gym and be by because francis was fat shaming him the entire day well it's disgusting i mean really what'd you see him burger king at four in the morning on thursday night doesn't he know how the digestive system works i mean that's the worst i couldn't believe it because francis doesn't live the same life on the road that me and mook do. I order green bowls.

It's much more, let's go to this restaurant. I need to get some leaves for lunch. I saw that leaf bowl. Yeah, but I had a side arugula salad with a pizza. I need to get some greens. It's not like, you know. And then we went to a steakhouse, and I had a nice steak and some cocktails. Those steaks look fat.

Those were some good steaks. Like thick-ass cuts. They had placed tornado. You know what else looked fat steakhouse in my face madison wisconsin is one of the best steakhouse i've ever been to let's let's just do some of these things in order though because there's a litany of why don't you guys start with your airport experience on the way out couldn't have said it better myself thank you ron well i kind of fucked us and uh and so yeah that was a rough start i appreciate you saying that i was wondering if you were going to own that today yeah i fucked up pretty pretty severe francis was texting me as it was happening

and i was dying laughing i fucked up in a in a tremendous way that that francis actually made a good point he said if i did that there would have been and He said, if I did that, there would have been... And he was right. If he did that, I would have... It would have been like a public fight. We would have been on Worldstar. Physically? Yeah.

Or a shouting match like those two gay dudes with the puppy at the airport. Probably the two gay dudes with the puppy. It would have been really bad. So you guys had an early flight? No, I went to the airport really early because I thought our flight was at 11.15. And I found out I was on the wrong flight. We needed to be on the same flight to Milwaukee

because we saw that flights to Madison were much more expensive. So we decided to fly to Milwaukee instead, rent a car, and then drive the hour and 20 minutes to madison and since we need a beautiful drive by the way since we need easy rental car situation at great corn it is very it's right there it is it's really good no shuttle no shuttle clean clear and when you have the amex delta reserve or the amex platinum i think you get free membership in the president's circle which means you quite literally bypass the rental counter

at Hertz and just walk straight into the car. I felt like I was stealing it. Yeah. Any car you want, probably. Any car you want. Any car. What'd you guys go with? A Jeep. Jeep. Felt American. Cherokee. Riding high. Beautiful. Beautiful vehicle. American. So you guys had to get there early,

but you got to the airport early. Well, I had said him weeks before I said I think this is how we need to do this because to fly to Madison is much more expensive and the flights aren't good. And we'd have to do a two leg flight. So he said great. I said this is the flight I'm getting. This is the

flight we need to be on. Get this one. Do it today. He was like done. Sure enough the day of the flight rolls around and he texts me like three and a half hours before the flight and he was like done sure enough the day the flight rolls around and he texts me like three and a half hours before the flight and he was like are you at the airport and i was like no i was early for that flight i was like why are you i don't know i feel like you're not that that guy because i've been because i i've missed a lot of flights recently from going to LaGuardia. So I was like, no, dude. It's in three, three and a half hours or whatever.

I'll get there in a little bit. I'm still home. He goes, our flight's 1145. And I was like, oh, no. It's the 115. And I immediately went up in the conversation, worried that I had sent him the wrong flight. Hadn't, of course. I don't make those mistakes.

I screenshot the picture, send it to him, and he goes, nice screenshot. Or he goes, nice Photoshop. Like I had rewritten the text, which was very funny. And then I was like, well, just hang out and see if you can change your flight. Luckily, that was easy. He did. But you were there for so long at the Delta Lounge. Yeah, I fell asleep listening to Cat Williams' Pimp Chronicles.

That's some incredible stand-up. Just yelling in my ear. Somehow I fell asleep to that. I don't know how. It was probably the 6,000 calories you ate at that Delta Lounge. Yeah, probably. I fell asleep in a chair listening to Pimp Chronicles. That's some of the oldest shit ever.

I almost looked like a fucking lunatic, dude. People just heard the Pimp Chronicles pouring out of your fucking headphones. My head wasn't resting against anything. It was just like... Your neck probably was so sore when you woke up. I didn't sleep for that long, but I fell asleep for probably like 30 minutes. It had some of that salty Delta chicken. Nasty.

This is how much I care about him, though. I knew that he was now at the airport by himself, and so I left for the airport earlier than I would have so that I could provide company for him sooner. Just attend to him. Yeah. Just to look after the boy. Make sure that he's okay.

Make sure he wasn't sleeping, because he's liable to throw on some fucking kings of comedy and fall asleep at the delta who knew sass might put on cedric the entertainer and laugh himself to sleep uh so i get there he's there i pour myself a nice tea we hang out for whatever 15 20 minutes no alcohol I guess you guys had to perform that night We had a long travel day ahead of us We didn't want to get too crazy And I had to drive So I We get up I was like I think we should probably get to the gate

Let's go And I go Do you know what gate it is? Mr. Guy who's been at the airport For three and a half hours and he says definitively uh 68 f on one hand he did have time to check it was 68 no 68 was the real one no 86 was the real one oh well then i said it was 68 b then that That's right, 68B. But on one hand, he had time to look. But on the other hand, he has already botched part of the travel plans today, and you're asking him for more information.

Bro, that's a good point, Ron. But I would figure that a guy like him who's been at the airport so long that he now knows the names of the people that work there. He's probably used multiple bathrooms. He's met friends i just figure this guy is gonna know he's probably checked our flight thing so many times plus he answered confidently and quickly with a number and a letter 68b so i say okay and off we go specific enough and we start walking and it's a 12 to 15 minute walk the last gate that's one of the worst things about laguardia because you literally are going into like the depths yeah it goes down a stairwell or you go you go down another escalator you go right

if you come if you come out of security like you go right all the way down that hallway all the way down then down the escalator then left oh that switch back in that long out the switch back is the way it gets long we're the last we're the last one and we get there and there's a screen that is empty and not a single person in line nor a delta ticketing agent it looked like it had been shut down now my look like no flight had flown from that gate in 15 years my first thought was like oh they must have uh must be a delay or something and then francis we haven't flown flights out of here in years and then francis looks at his phone and he turns to me he goes we're gonna have to hop no wait i i first i go i go is it not this gate and he goes maybe they moved it and then i looked at my phone and it was it was 86 right and i turned to him and i go we're gonna have to we're

gonna have to hop and then i was like yeah like my reaction was like yeah i guess like we'll have to walk a little faster and then he just takes off we had to sprint we had to run it was probably a 20 minute run full out running in the airport should be classified as one of the uh like most rigorous types of exercise dude i was sweating it's like doing like farmer carries like what like what lane johnson does to work out like you're carrying your bag fully clothed probably in something warm and you're gonna sweat your fucking dick off yes you are but you feel like you're flying because everyone else is walking and i just feel like my strides are longer in the airport. I mean, he was going the fastest I've ever seen him run.

I took off. Because I knew. He got to the gate 10 minutes before I did. I knew he wasn't, with all due respect, I knew he wasn't going to try hard enough to keep up with me. Nor was he wearing the proper footwear. He was wearing those fucking Converse that the sole is coming away. So every time he took a step it was like a double slap like a tally whacker like what but yes like he was in drum line it was so unbelievably

miserable that like because you would stop because i don't i'm not in shape i had to stop i don't i can't run for 20 minutes straight so i stopped and then you look at your phone and you're like no i can't i can't stop i gotta keep running the signs tell you so we went all the way back to where we were past the delta and then the delta lounge the other side of the airport other side of the airport says 14 to 15 14 to 15 minute walk from there and we'd already come 12. this airport is 27 minutes of walking from it i'm not kidding you it was a i don't think i'm exaggerating a one and a half it was easily 1.5 miles a one and a half mile run because i could actually probably see on my phone because you walk uh i mean it's i think standard walking is

20 minutes for one mile i think that's like a standard walking pace so 27 yeah minutes would be like almost roughly a mile and a half. Yeah, like a little bit less than a mile and a half. It was as far from one extreme of the airport to another that you could be to the point where you just kept passing gates. And you'd look out the window and see. I finally saw where I thought the gate was going to be by looking out the window. And I was like, we're being punked and i also knew i couldn't wait for him one of us had to make the flight so that if he missed it i could do the first show on thursday solo yeah is there not another flight out or what's

the deal with i was i had a plan i was i was like if we don't make this we'll just fly to chicago and drive yeah it's the sort of plan b thinking you start having when you realize you can't you're fucked you're fucked but i was like i have to make this and the flight was 115 and i had i was coming up an escalator and i couldn't move because there were people in front of me and there was a delta pilot behind me on the escalator. And I said, how much time before the flight leaves do you guys close the doors? 10 minutes? 10 minutes. Yeah.

And I'm running. And it's like 101, 102, 103. And I got there at 104. Wow. The door was closed wow the door was closed the door was closed they had closed it but I spoke to the agents

first of all we both had first class seats did they give them away they were trying to give his away yeah when they give someone's away I told them I was like my friend is right behind me and they go worry about yourself right now. That's what they said. They were like, we're going to probably try to sort you out, but you need to just not.

You don't wait for him. And you just heard like a faint echoing of a... I saw him, and he... He did come on the hop. Double clutching a breast. But I get on the plane. I get into my seat. And I'm sitting there.

And I'm like, please, God, Sas, show yourself. And he fucking made it. Just stumbling through a door. We were soaked. They were giving away my seat when I got on. I got on. There was a lady standing over my seat. And then I just sat down.

And she was like, ah. And then I just sat down and she was like, ah, and then I went back to the fucking basic, basic economy. Sometimes they don't even give the seat away, which is the most disrespectful. Yeah, that shit's annoying. That they'll just like leave an empty first class seat. I've asked. What? Like, hey, can I get that seat?

Can I sit up there? And they say no. That's crazy. No, you're going to sit where you belong. Peasant. Have your fucking Biscoff cookie while up front they have the michael and augustine chocolate squares which are so blonde they're gonna bring out the basket of snacks yeah the basket a nice wicker basket take four or five i think i'll do one of those

i take so many you go shop what is that that looks fun vegan gummy bears right up my alley it is a great feeling to make it though uh i've done that where i like they're like you're not gonna make it i sprinted like i was like the sixth person off i sprinted past everyone made it as the last person at the flight they open the doors and then everybody goes behind you and it's like you fucking towed the boat to safety yeah it's like you were the fucking the leader of the the underground railroad i will say on frontier they don't even open they won't open that they'll close they close it early oh yeah they like to close that shit up 30 minutes before and they're they're laughing yeah like popcorn like look he thinks he's about to get on that happened i was all on a flight going from raleigh to philly and they and i was on frontier 30 minutes before. And they're laughing. They're like popcorn. Like, look, he thinks he's about to get on the plane. That happened.

I was on a flight going from Raleigh to Philly. And I was on Frontier. And there was the lady. She was like, my husband's right behind. And it was like 30 minutes before the doors were supposed to. We just boarded. And they were like, we'll see. We're going to close at any minute now.

And it's like, I don't think you can do that. I don't think you can just close the door 30 minutes before you're supposed to. And that's why people are always brawling with frontier oh yeah yeah they train they they're like trained fighters the flight attendants they're all they're looking for a fight the entire time it's the minor minors of a slap league yeah yeah they all have a stun gun on them yeah they're just gonna eat a stun gun so were you when you got onto the flight francis were you giving him shit no i was just texting him i mean i i'm someone who we made the point after that he i said you would have been furious and he said he i used that's correct but i'm someone who when there's a problem like that and we realize what's happened i want to solve it immediately and all of my instincts are fixed

we need to fix this and then we'll deal with our feelings later oh my first instinct is to huff and puff yeah i would have i would have if i was by myself there's no way i would even have attempted to make that flight i looked at him and i within with realizing where the gate was i said we need to run first words out of my mouth and he was like and i was like and then i was gone and i was like i and as i'm running i'm realizing there's no way i can wait for him what kind of bags if one of us gets there then we can tell them to hold the plane for the other person too i had one of us needs to make the duffel bags are so funny because they're like like dude it was so hard to run with or so either the other way you gotta carry it like that yeah like a baby yeah i had a roller that based on the speed i was running was not staying on track and i i was almost taking some people out you need some new luggage i'm

thinking about it i think it's time i got some hartman luggage that has some of the best ergonomics that you could ever imagine i just want wheels that are going to be bearings it's german engineered so you know what about ramoa i've heard about that one i don't know much about ramoa i can only speak to hartman but i one of my bags got ripped. I bought the same bag again because it's so damn smooth. One time at a hotel, I gave it to the concierge's work in the front door. I was like, check out how smooth this bag is. And they're just twirling it. I swear to God, the concierge called over another concierge to be like, yo, check this fucking bag out.

And he was just whipping it around. He was like, buddy, check this bag. Smooth and he was just whipping it around he was like buddy check this bag i love this bag they ever felt you know it's a good bag when you can turn it diagonal and all the wheels continue moving forward seamlessly yes i i'm like crossing people over with it's like the n1 mixtape tour when i'm in the airport with this thing i'll just give it a spin like going down like it's frictionless i feel like i'm traveling on moon. There was a time when my bag was like that. I have an Away bag. They're good, but I've used it so much,

the wheels are just saying, hey, we're ready to be put out to pasture. And I think this Harbin has a warranty, so if it runs out, you really just read up. I feel like we should go bag shopping together. No, I'm not a bag. I'm a duffel guy. You're a little duffel bag boy.

I know that. Duffel bag is the easiest to travel. Because there's always a spot for it on the plane. Yes, exactly. They're never going to be like, here's a pink tag. Wait at the gangway. Wait at the fucking loop-de-loop for it. Exactly, yeah.

They don't do that with the duffel. The duffel always finds its way in. Well, good for you for not being pissed off its ass. No, it wasn't his fault. I mean, it was it was entirely well it was his fault it was his fault but but what was crazy to me was that after that so he was wrong about his flight time and then he was wrong about our gate and then we got to milwaukee and there was another thing that happened i can't remember what but it was as if after going over to on major logistical decisions he thought i need to fight back i need to get i need to get the scoreboard back in or to

prove that you fuck something up and he instead of yeah instead of being more humble and being like you know what i maybe i'm done making the calls for us today he he was doubling and tripling down he was even more adamant oh this is what it was we flew into milwaukee and i go i gotta as we're 15 20 minutes away i get a notification on my phone that says welcome to canada and I'm like, what the fuck? Did we fly over Canadian air, airspace to get to Milwaukee?

And we get off the plane and I tell him that I'm like, it's so funny. My, we're so close to Canada that my, my phone actually thought we were in Canada. And he goes, that's not possible. Well,

I said, we're not close. No, I said, I said, we're not close to Canada at all. Cause we're not. I mean,

Michigan is like a gray area. Madison is not close to Canada. It because we're not. I mean, Michigan is like a gray area. Madison is not close to Canada. It's not that far. But if you fly over Michigan, you could – You fly over a big chunk of Canada coming from New York. Supposedly. And I showed him the thing on my phone. I was like, look, this is true.

This happened. Nice Photoshop. And he was like, that's crazy. We're not even close. We're not even close. We're not even close. Then I pulled up the map and showed him. And again, I was like, okay, now you're 0 for 3. Like, at what point are you going to wave a white flag?

Never. He just gets more obstinate. The more wrongs he piles up, the more he starts pressing. That's headliner privilege. Exactly, yeah. If I was the feature, I would consider waving a white flag. So you guys made it out there, though, and shows went good. You had a good weekend with Mook?

Slaughterhouse. Yeah? Comedy on stage, bro. Really? Killbox. It's fun. It's a good club very good club the club's great the green room is awesome we didn't kill as hard as we thought we were going to if we're being honest yeah like kill pretty good we did pretty well no survivors it was fine it was no denver no denver's like fucking the beach of normandy oh dude yeah they're coming off those ships yeah exactly it's like the hand at the benedict box that they make you put your hand in oh yeah at denver they have an emt waiting outside fuck and nor has he i watched an

hour the first day and i fell asleep yeah it sucks i want to i need to re-watch it though i'm not a sci-fi guy i find it hard to get in some good sci-fi is really good but not being on the weed and i mean that and sci-fi don't pair well you need to have a little to to be able to enjoy sci-fi right uh did you watch the new dune yeah great i guess we won't talk about it it just seems i'm gonna watch it because i like to be part of the cultural zeitgeist you can't see it without seeing i'm saying i'm gonna watch them both you got it it won't make it barely made sense to me and i've seen the first one 10 times really yeah it's always hard it's convoluted yeah it's just how you know it's good when it doesn't make sense at all

the first one was so dialogue heavy for the first hour just like Zendaya and fucking what's his name Tom Holland, Chalamet just sitting on a fucking on a sand dune just like looking off

like discussing something that I guess is setting the tone wait that's not the that's the most recent one no i saw this one okay on a plane interesting or just some fuck it was just so much talking get to get to the fucking the worms ray guns and shit pew pew that's what i wanted yeah exactly sass went, which I was so proud of him for. What happened? It really wasn't a big deal at all. I saw a photograph of you in jeans, and I was like, what is going on here? I've never seen anything like that.

You had a photographer, and the way the first photos came back, I was like, no, I'm going to have to switch something up big time. Why? What were you wearing the first time? Just my khakis and sweatshirt. Didn't like the way my pants were fitting, though. So you needed to get some dad-cut jeans? I just had to get some pants that fit me. These pants are awesome on him, and he bought new to new balances.

Oh, those are new? Yeah. Balances? Shout out to fucking Jack Harlow. I know. That's why I got them. Because of fucking Missionary Jack? Yeah.

I hit him up and I said, check it out. I'm vanilla, baby. Peep. Bro, I do not like whips and chains either. That song's double meaning, bro. Me and you, we're not so different, are we? I'm vanilla because of his sex preferences, but also because he's white. Oh, bars. Did you get that no i didn't that's like one of that's like a lyric that like

there would be a group of black dudes like reviewing the song and they'd pause and they'd be like yo he's vanilla baby because he's okay because he's white and because i because it's not fucking like that. Because he only likes missionary sex. He only likes missionary sex. I used to watch those videos all the time. They're great. They would do Mac Miller and they would go nuts over like the littlest things that I would never have picked up. I love when the kids have grown up since, but it was like these two young black kids and they would like hear like, I chime in when the heck did you people ever hear? Yeah, yeah.

And they would be like, the fuck bopping along to it they are good videos i've never seen a video that any of those guys have made and they've never been bad it makes you want to have a child so i can like show them music for the first time like someone hearing a song that you know to be good for the first time and they're going to react that's a powerful feeling yeah it's great a very powerful feeling so did you have a great uh i feel like you and mook had like well because they're both they have drinking problems ron does this thing where like he knows when you two are talking about something that i have no purchase on whatsoever and then he's like all right anyway back to you francis let's bring you back in yeah i want to be from the cold conversation and you know what i like listening to you talk about black people that's always what it is it's always about the culture

no we just talked about jack harlow he's vanilla and i guess some kids that are black that's true who listen to music it just doesn't hit the same uh fucking jacob sartorius is reviewing a song for the first time oh is that was that a thing of gotta be black no but i'm saying just like a young white kid doing it would just wouldn't i wouldn't be like that's cool oh right do those kids that you're talking about also review Bill Burr bits? No, that's a different group of black folk. I see. Yeah.

Fair enough. Because I know them. They did one of Shane's specials, too. Exactly. I was going to add that next. Yes. If you guys wanted to talk about those two black guys. Those guys are changing the game.

They are. Who are they? No one was reviewing comedy before they were. Some of the best. Nothing I like better than watching. Well, I know one guy that's reviewing comedy. Yeah, we don't have to get into that. Okay. Folks, let's take a second and talk about Factor. Come on now. A couple of Factor heads in this room.

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help you stay fueled and keep you feeling good all day long. What are you waiting for? Get started today and get after your goals. I mean, the meals at Factor are genuinely mind-blowing. Tasty. That they are sending them to you, like they said, always fresh, but that they taste so good and that they're delivered in this way i mean you get the box of factor meals it's like a holiday oh yeah it's a bounty you know what's crazy is that has arrived they all come or typically you get yours on monday right that's when i get mine of course and you got to go down i go down to my lobby of my room there's factor

boxes everywhere you got to find everybody's getting them because everyone is getting them yes exactly the new wave head to factor meals.com sun50 and use code sun50 to get 50% off. That's code sun50 at factormeals.com slash sun50 to get 50% off. All righty. Let's talk about Game Time. Game Time. Game Time is the official ticking partner of Barstool Sports, and it's our favorite fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports,

music, comedy, and theater events near you. That's right. So if you want to go see perhaps Ronnie Chang at the Orpheum Theater directly next to Comedy on Stage. Madison, Wisconsin. Directly next to where we perform. Are you serious? We had to navigate through his line in order to go to our show, which had no line. And we looked at his line and thought, maybe some of these people are in the wrong line. They might be reading in the wrong line.

Not one. Not one. And you got to assume tickets to that show are pretty pricey, so that's why you should use Game Time. Last minute tickets, flash deals, zone deals. Yes. See, he's performing in rooms so big that you actually can pick which zone you want to sit in. Yeah, you could get crowd work. You could get splash zone, nosebleeds, whatever you want, honestly.

But they're all a great deal because it's with game time. You pick where you want to sit. You get to, I mean, you're right up front to Chang. Yeah. Which is the dream. You want to be as close as you can when you're at a show like that take the guesswork out of buying tickets with game time download the game time app create an account use code boy dad for 20 off your first purchase terms apply again create an account and

redeem code boy dad for 20 off download game time today last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed yeah well so those kids they they uh reviewed his special they reviewed chain special yeah they did but i didn't watch that one yeah but i watched the one where they reviewed bill burr i really don't uh in a lot of senses don't have like i don't want to hear someone's review of a comedy special i don't care no no but i don't really care when they review the music either i just like to see their reactions i like to see if they like a new song for the first if they're just like bopping along like fucking making a stank face but they never really give bad reviews right because all if they're going to be listening to a song it's going to be great they'll listen to the worst song ever and they'll be like holy shit well i think music is different is the most broadly subjective thing like they're even like the worst if you say you don't like

country music but like a country music song is really like popular that's still there's merit to that song whether it's like not your cup of tea or not it's still the best country music that's still there's merit to that song whether it's like not your cup of tea or not it's still the best country music that's being put out because it's really popular and there's like a very wide swath of people that like it like i think with comedy it's a little bit more narrow yeah i don't know i don't even like to watch movie previews like i'd rather hear from movies good but i feel like previews these days dude they're giving everything away destroying fucking the game it's because previews used to be like they would be that old voice and it would be like in a world where brad pitt one man yeah and now it's just a compilation of the whole movie they just shorten the movie and show you everything that happens right it's like starting with the

explosions and like yeah the most tense scenes dude you gotta if you're gonna watch a preview you gotta cut it at 30 seconds in in the oscars last night they did like the uh shortened like preview version of the holdovers and one of the parts of the 20 seconds they showed was the last scene of the movie yeah it's like that that's the end like now you know what happens at the end of the movie it I know. It's fucking stupid as hell. Shit's crazy. I like that movie. Did you watch the Oscars? Yes.

Well, the whole thing? Of course. Yeah, me too. Really? I love the culture. Yeah, I watched it because I watched the Grammys, and the Grammys were great. The Oscars wasn't as fun. Because I don't know, like, how are you going to say who's the best, what's the best edited movie?

I don't even know what the fuck they had to work with. I mean, I watched Oppenheimer. oppenheimer one most of the i watch oppenheimer and i can't believe how many cuts there are yeah the amount of editing that when you if you were to look at christopher nolan's adobe premiere screen you'd be like, holy shit, dude. Do you guys know, what do they use to edit a movie like that? It can't be.

Whatever the fuck, Final Cut Pro? Da Vinci? Okay, that makes sense. You know who won it, though? A woman. A woman edited that, and it seemed like she went up there alone. It seemed like she did it single-handedly. For Oppenheimer?

Yeah. She won Best Editor? Yes. Did youenheimer? Yeah. She won Best Editor? Yes. Did you see that? Yeah. But she went to every other award. There's like eight people going up. Yeah.

John Lennon's son won an award. Really? Did you see that? John Lennon and Yoko Ono's son won an award. No, I didn't see that. For Best Short, Animated Short, which has to be bullshit. I feel like we got to throw an animated short in there. Did you see what Jimmy, did you see what Jimmy Kimmel said about that?

What? Well, to be honest, I can't, I can't really defend them because I think when they said animated short, I put it on mute because I didn't care. But he was like, he was like, he was like, we're going to do animated shorts now. And he's like, we all let our kids fill out this part of the ballot, right? And I was like, damn, dude, that's kind of insulting to the people that are nominated for that award it's a super it's a shot yeah for sure like none of us actually give a fuck about this shit right and they're not even like kids movies like this was a protest movie yeah it's called war is over

yeah it's like about like i don't know why do you muting it why do you mute something you're watching instead of just changing the channel? Oh, because I was playing video games simultaneously. But why do you need the sound for video games? Top ten dumbest questions you've ever asked. Footsteps, bro. Hell, for real? Yeah. In Warzone, you've got to be able to hear footsteps.

I don't play Warzone. Yeah, exactly. I'm not playing fucking Madden where you need no sound. I need to be locked in. Okay, all I play is Madden, bro. Bro, we've got to get you a console. I will get a console. I'll get a console right now.

Yeah, I've got to buy a PS5. Let's buy a PS5. Let's see if they have a discount on them. I heard they took the New York PS5 to Chicago, though. The boys downstairs were up in arms. Oh, I'm sure they did. They're like, this just happened this week. Yeah, they probably

sent someone down here. They would probably have rather had sent someone down to pick it up rather than be like, let's just get another one. They did. Yeah.

Someone took it out there. Max, you're going to New York. You gotta get the PS5. Clemmer's fucking up the stream. Go take their PS5. They've embarrassed us. Go take their fucking joy. We got an email.

Actually, I guess we can't say that what you got an email to participate in some sort of content in chicago and they were like you've been selected you have been selected as one of the top as one of new york's top recruits congratulations congratulations you were coming to chicago for two days congratulations cadet you've been selected for a top secret mission it's like fucking big hat calls you like bill belichick in the draft in the dynasty you ready to play for chicago son hey great news we got you you're coming out to chicago for two days uh you ready whatever you need coach i'm just happy to happy to be considered change my family's life i'll

always appreciate it i always love when they cut to bel Belichick in real time and he's just sitting with like... He's so angry. He's looking down at the camera. I don't believe I have anything else to add to that. Yeah. Like I said, Ben, no comment. That was 15 years ago. Like I said years ago 15 years ago that's in the past he uh he's like the dude from men in black that uh like the alien who's like pretending to be a

human he's like sugar like he's just like a fucking barely human yeah he's got i mean they're dragging him dude i wonder what level piece what it's the whole dynasty show is a bell check hippies you can have one of those yeah they satisfy that sweet tooth no have as many as you want you can have as many as you want i'm done i have one have as many as you want you're not done with these sass what so good but they uh they i saw they included uh core four. I know. Prez. Prez, Gaz, Fights, Hank.

Lockwood. The Beasts. The Made Men. Lock. Prez. Lock. Shout out to Lock. Dolcinski.

I tried to say one time I was trying to meet up with Gaz we were in like the Hamptons he was like come to this bar and I tried to like it was like I guess an exclusive bar and I went to the door and I tried to say his name and I couldn't say it oh yeah what is it Golzinski

I guess Glizinski I thought it was Glizinski no it's Gol and the bouncer was like Glizinski? I guess Glizinski? I thought it was Glizinski. No, it's G-U-L-I-Z-K-I. Yeah, and the bouncer was like looking at, he was like, are you fucking retarded drunk right now? What is going on? I was, but Glizinski.

Dude, having to say your name at a door is one of the most anxiety-inducing things because you know the name that you're giving is just never going to be on the list like every time i they've been like yeah just say your name when you get to the door and then i get to the door and i'm like harry and they're like now we got nothing they're like who told you about this because you're definitely not supposed to be here i've been using this new app that uh you it's like a new york reservations app and you can take someone else's reservation so they don't have to pay the fee.

Oh, that's nice. Which is very useful, but you'll get to the door, and you have to say their name. Oh, yeah. What's that called? Tell me later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's not that big of a deal, but you'll get to the door and check the name, and it'll be like an asian guy's name like two for fang two for dash on thing i took my wife's name she's white too yeah she's right with you adopted two for rap musmiani

like a full indian name that's a great idea for an app. We know that's not you. It is a great... Dude, we... Speaking of being at doors, we went to a college bar on State Street. I didn't. I never went there. What's it called? The Crazy Corner?

KK? Isn't there? The KK is the big one. We heard about that one. We didn't go to that one. We went to the other one. Do you remember what it was called? No, because I didn't go to any of we went to the other one do you remember what it was called no because i didn't go to any of them right you and mook went me and francis got like black

and my buddy my buddy drove over from milwaukee and we went to this college bar good and they were serving beer out of plastic cups yes it. Sticky floor. It was Mother's Weekend, and all these frat dudes were there with their moms. Just like frat dude, mother. Drinking shots of Jameson out of little plastic shot cups. That's amazing. That's probably great for the moms. That's probably such a nice weekend for the moms. They were having a good time.

And we were having a good time, and we got after it a little there, and then we went across the street to this other bar because if you're a mom who has a kid in a frat you still want to be like a hot younger woman and and yeah fuck some of her fuck something or at least be like young moms i was surprised how young these moms were exactly and they want to be and they probably present younger than they even are yeah right they're to fuck something. That's gotta suck though if you're that kid and you're like why is my mom dressed like a whore right now?

Why is my mom making out with Mook? Why is my mom wearing a push up bra? What the fuck? Mom you never dress like this. Put the pajama pants back on. Call dad. You're hilarious. Dad! Mom's fucking my friend in the bathroom. the pajama pants back calling dad hilarious dad

mom's fucking my friend in the bathroom there were a bunch of moms at the shows yeah a lot of moms dad mom is giving

some giving Jacob sloppy toppy they're always named Jacob oh yeah a lot of Jacobs lots of so you guys you move your boy from mad

or from uh milwaukee milwaukee the good land are out getting shit faced that's how it should be mook was leading the charge because he was just he was on one i think he was getting dms chicks hit him up never no one's as horny as Mook Mook hits the road Dude Mook ended the Saturday show being like Hit me up if anyone wants to party I didn't know he did that Yeah he did that

He went back on stage To close the show after Francis got off And was like And by the way like anyone like i'm trying to get fucked up tonight so hit me up yeah with a shirt with his ad on it yeah so i guess yeah so he was just like leading us down the street by your dicks and i was my buddy wanted to go out too so i was like all right let's do it and madison's a cute town too like the right in the center towns like the is it the capital yeah we're right there capital building i like the layout

um that's okay who was it was it the culprit someone was coming in here with a purpose nope someone was coming here to start fucking breaking shit I was coming here to start fucking breaking shit. I went home and looked at some mock drafts. He went home. He went home, but that's okay. We went out, and then we went across the street to a bar that had a band, and then they were serving beer that they had dyed green for St. Patrick's Day, even though I feel like we're still a bit of a way

off from st patrick's day yeah about a week out you're just drinking green beer bro yeah and another round of shots dancing for the band dancing bros at one point and mooks in there with his fucking backpack on dancing mooks trying to take something home with his backpack on he brings his laptop so we can watch it but still why is he bringing his backpack to the bar i don't know man it was a bad look yeah he's not gonna bring anything home it looks like he's trying to chop something up and fucking i'll tell you i will say backpack at a college bar is not that bad of a look because that's pretty popular. It's not that good of a look on a Saturday night. What? He'll come up with any excuse he can to not go home with a girl.

But I thought you said he's horny. He is. So reconcile those two things. He's just trying to get off. You need to treat him like an unfixed dog and just from time to time jerk him off. Oh, yeah. Just to get him right. I was there for the express purpose of trying to provide company and support and wingman a little bit for him.

Of course. And then the next morning at breakfast, he gave me this long list of reasons for why he had basically chosen to go home alone. And I was like, well, if I'd known all of those things, I'm not so sure that I would have... Yeah, done the shots. Done all the stuff. And then I was in so well, if I'd known all of those things, I'm not so sure that I would have. Yeah, done the shots.

Done all the stuff. And then I was in so much pain. Oh, I know. I know that. Fucking drinking some cheap ass shots, some cheap ass college. Such a headache. It was like a headache in the back of my head that just wouldn't go away. He had a classic Roan hangover.

Couldn't shake it. You look bad. You look stinky. I looked awful. I had this sty on my eye. Sty doubled in size over the night. Disgusting. Golf ball stye.

Yeah. Damn. That's fucking nasty. Tough day. I tried to get him an eye patch. No one wants to see that shit, bro. Nobody wanted to see it. It's funny to go out in a college town, though.

That is nice. It's funny. Especially with a little bit of a purpose. It's not like you're up there. You're there for work. So you might as well just party up. Yeah, but then Saturday night, I saw the wisdom of Sass's ways.

And I am here to say that I am officially sober. No. No, Francis drinks so much. No, I am... This is day two. Really? I'm two days sober. Get him his chip. You don't get the chip, bro.

I'm two days sober. Chip Kelly. And I just... It's not that fun for me anymore. That's okay. Is something going on, miss? Bro, there's clearly a fucking gangbang that they're attempting to do in this room right now. What do we not know about what this room is being used for? The only things in this room are the Pat Bev,

old Pat Bev studio and our studio and people are coming in and out of here. Ooh, I didn't know anyone was going to be in here. What the fuck? Hey, you guys work here? Hey, I haven't seen you guys in here before. Oh, I was coming here to crush a nap. It's like that episode of Friends where Ross finds out that the one place where his book that he wrote in the library is the area of the library where people come to fuck and so he goes back there to protect that hallway but then he meets a woman who actually likes his book and then he fucks her there

I saw that someone just came in and twisted off their dildo as it was buzzing oh I'm sorry jeez that's embarrassing twisted off their dildo as it was buzzing. Oh, I'm sorry. Jeez, that's embarrassing. It is crazy. I wonder what's going on. Clearly, there's something that's about to happen in here. Or that has been happening. That they think is going to happen in here.

Yeah, they said everything was off the wall in here. Like, the plants were knocked over. Everything was just askew. Somebody has been fucking around with this room. I bet if you flip these cushions over it's just dry cum everywhere you can't even flip them yeah they're glued down it's like peeling off uh some velcro yeah but it's just thick rope so someone just pressed their face against the underside like solo and carbonite dude francis i i was telling you earlier there was a there's this awesome new uh restaurant in our neighborhood that i'm super excited about

talk to him i went i went there on uh friday night like let's just try it out it's never even that busy i sat down and it was so good but i asked one of the people that was like pouring waters or something i was like what's good and they like had this panic look on their face and they're like lo siento no hablo ingles like oh and i was just like oh está bien they were loving it and then through the course of the night word got out through the kitchen staff that i spoke spanish really they started sending over different people to like speak spanish they're like we hear you speak spanish like and they're like making me like traditional chilean food no they weren't even making me food they were making me speak spanish

they were and i have like five words of spanish like i have like a little bit of kitchen spanish and like yeah eight years of college Spanish. I learned more in the kitchen. And they just kept on sending people out. And they're like, how's your night going? I'm like, muy divertido. Everything's good. And then like one of the ladies, like her English, she had absolutely no English.

Some of them had like a mix. She was the final boss. She sent over the final boss to like mess with me and uh and i thought she was saying like how is everything is everything good she's like something that todo's like oh todos and i was like yeah yeah everything everything like uh she cleared the table no she said and then she was like uh i heard or like they clarified and she was like saying like, ¿Estás famoso? Like, are you famous? And my response to that was, everything.

Everything. Yeah, I'm famous. Everything. Yeah, I do everything. I was so fucking embarrassed. That's hilarious. Estoy famoso. Lo siento.

Por favor, poder servir. Why? Were you getting a bunch of people coming up to you? Not even really I think the Mater D was being really nice So he must have He must have been He didn't say anything But I don't know why she asked that

She just asked it randomly Maggie Gyllenhaal was there That's real famoso That's true famoso Mucho famoso I don't know I don't there with her husband Peter something? I don't know. I don't know who her husband is.

Is he Famoso? Famous actor. Toto. You know him. Extraordinario Famoso. Yes, he's a great actor. He was in The Orphan. He was in Jarhead.

He was in Garden State. I love... Wait. Sarsgaard? Peter Sarsgaard? That's right peter sars guard oh i dude i would have i i feel like i would have noticed him i could only she was in like the light that's her husband i think they live in brooklyn heights and one time i saw him working out at the ymca gym what and i was like he must have been training for a role come on it's like a recovering drug addict better're doing better than this what were you doing there?

I love your work can I pay for your Equinox membership? yeah that's the least you could do is the YMCA bad? I always thought it was supposed to be really good no that's a good place to get MRSA it's okay it's good for pickup basketball and stuff but it's not good for like it's good for wrestling mat diseases

yeah I knew that's like where AIDS started. Isn't that what they say? Or no, it used to be an old gay hookup club. The YMCA did? I believe so, yeah. Young Men's Christian Association? Yeah. It sounds like it.

More like Young Men's Cock Association? Yes, Young Men's Cock Ass. Young Man Cock Ass. Young Male Cock and ass. We just leave it as an ampersand. We don't really put the A. The amp is silent. I think that's what it was.

Yeah, but dude, you have to try this restaurant. It was so fucking good. It was amazing. We'll go. We're going to go. Pasta and the wines. And a South African white. Oh.

The price point was nice too. A nice sauvon blanc. It was a nice too. A nice savant blanc. It was a chanon blanc. A chanon blanc. Chanon blanc. I guess I'll just do one of the chanon blancs. Do you have any high noon blancs? I'll just do a watermelon-o

high noon-o. Estas famoso. Muy bien. Oh, you're famous. Very good. Did you speak? No, no. My boss is very famous. He's on the can, actually. Boss?

My boss? Not sure. Bus? Every person is my friend. I don't understand. Boss. um not not sure boost cada persona es mi amigo no entiendo boss muy bien muy bien muy freaking bien my boys oh man i'd love to have you if you want to come to the dinner too sass oh man i'd love to no you don't just put them on your other side those steaks look fucking two three inches thick yeah they were too little too thick a little too big we wrapped them up everyone wrapped them up to uh follow through with that social sort of it was a supper club small sort of family-owned

restaurant they haven't changed in years and out of respect we said we'd like we'd like to go boxes for because we didn't eat everything. And they were like, okay, you too? Just ask? And he was like, no. And then guess where all the food ended up. It doesn't matter where it went. In the fridge at the comedy club and it never left.

It doesn't matter. As long as they think there's a chance you'll eat it. You were like, just throw it all out. Get rid of it. I don't even want to bring it home. I was like, I'm stuffed. And you don't eat it it either none of you back there in the kitchen throw it away i want to see it in the trash you owe them the grace of of saying i love this so much but i'm full i'd like to take it out with me because i i couldn't imagine not finishing as someone who worked in

the restaurant business for two years, no one gives a fuck. They're actually probably more happy when you don't. Food waste is a major problem. Major problem. What I like to do is I'll chew it up and spit it back onto my plate so no one can touch it. So it's just a purposefully mar it. Exactly. So no one even has a chance to repurpose it in the back. Do you know that story about Eddie Griffin?

No. Do you know that story? No. griffin no the comedian that story no the story about eddie griffin the comedian no what did he do uh apparently the story goes that he in his rider he has this thing that's like i want you know 40 pairs of white air force ones waiting for me in the green room when i come perform classic anyone every night something like that and he sells out one to use one to lose yeah and that's what i asked for too this person who worked at the club scoured down collecting these sneakers for him delivered on the rider thing and then the shows happened he didn't wear a single pair and then

the end of the last show uh he's like leaving and the staff is like oh shit we're gonna get to take those air force ones with us and he put them in the trash and poured ketchup all over them so that no one else could wear them. Jesus Christ. That's crazy. That's so funny. That's so vindictive. What could make him want to do that? That must be some weird sort of.

Fuck y'all. That is allegedly the story. I have no idea if that's true, but that is what I was told. That's got to be some sort of like fetish. What would make anyone do that? It's the thing of if I can't have them, then no one can. Yeah, but he can have them.

And they got them for him to have. It's a power thing. I don't know. I want to make sure no one has these just teasing people all weekend. But Undercover Brother was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in my life. Eddie Griffin is hysterical. He's the GOAT. Have you ever seen Undercover Brother? one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in my life. Eddie Griffin is hysterical. He's the GOAT.

Have you ever seen Undercover Brother? No. Oh, my God. I used to love that movie Take Two. I think it was called Take Two. What was that one? It was the sequel to Take One. That's why he's the king.

That's why he's the headliner. Did you see the video I sent you about me and Sass on the plane? Yeah, that was really good too. He had my phone secretly down here and he's like, what are you doing? And I was like, just wait. No, you didn't say anything. Yeah. Hey.

Hello. Oh, it's Owen. Oh, come on in, Owen. So people have been coming to the door, Owen, and we know that there's like some kind of fuck session that's going on in this room. people keep coming in here like they're expecting a meeting and then they leave instantly so so a dude came in like unbuckling his pants as he opened the door all righty everybody let's talk about the gentleman they say a gentleman always keeps his word but i can't repeat any of the words that the weed dealing

gambling murdering aristocrats say in the gentleman you couldn't even say aristocrats much less any of the words that he says actually it's tough words over the gentleman but it's not a tough watch i'll tell you that much easy on the eyes guy richie's first tv show ever only on netflix look if you know anything about me, you know I'm a very big Guy Ritchie fan. You're a Guy guy. I'm a Guy's guy. Exactly. I love Guy Ritchie. I love all of his work. That movie that he did

with Gyllenhaal, phenomenal. Probably not as good as The Gentleman though. Oh no. The Gentleman. James puts Jake Gyllenhaal under the table. It's based on his award winning film. It's based on his award-winning film, it's based on his award-winning film, The Gentleman series,

stars Theo James and a whole new cast of criminal lords and ladies slumming it in Britain's criminal underworld. Guns out and pinkies up. Watch what happens next when you try and play gangsters at their own game.

Don't miss The Gentleman, now playing only on Netflix. Alrighty, let's talk about Better Help. A lot of us spend our lives wishing we had more time. How much time do we have? I always wish I had more. The question is, time for what? If time was unlimited, how would you use it? I would use it for Better Help.

For Better Help. Yes. The best way to squeeze the special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority. Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it. I actually used better help and me and my therapist came to the conclusion that Call of Duty Warzone is what really matters to me. And I am now playing an extra hour every day. We bump from two hours a day to three hours. If you...

Well, we do play two hours a day every day. Well, you used to. Well, now we're playing three. I had a discussion. I got the team together, and we said three hours. And the good thing about the therapist is you can pick your own therapist. And if you want to switch at any time, you can. So if they're prescribing you the wrong amount of call of duty, you can just hop to another therapist seamlessly.

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Heads are going to roll. Look, heads are gonna roll look heads are gonna roll oh no heads are gonna roll for sure this shit is not sweet it's one of my favorite phrases after smitty said that at most dangerous games and then zero heads rolled eyes rolled smitty after the whole fucking uh billy football Jordan, Woodruff, and Sidney Wells thing happened at Most Dangerous Games. We had a breakfast and Smitty was causing a fucking scene at this mom and pop diner in upstate New York. And I remember the waitress coming over and being like, what do you guys want for drinks? And I was like, I'll do a water or whatever. And then Smitty said, I swear he's like i swear heads are gonna fucking roll and then she

goes to him and he goes she goes uh what do you what do you want to drink and then he's in the middle of yelling about heads are rolling and then he goes he turns he goes iced tea and he and he turns his head he turns his head back and continues yelling. It was so funny. Heads are going to roll. That's awesome. I remember I had to go to the, I went to the bathroom because I was like, this is too embarrassing. I have to, I can't be around this.

Yeah. Well, I think that the people who are getting in trouble weren't the people who were responsible. Oh, no. Well, the only person responsible for what happened was Billy Football. Right. And Billy Football. Right. And Billy Football was blackout drunk at that point. Why were other people getting in trouble for that? Because the girls were made to be scared in the middle of the night, and Smitty was protecting the women at the camp.

But, like, it wasn't the... Was he trying to breed with them? No, I think he was trying to get their votes, to be fully honest. I think he was playing that. Oh, okay. Smitty? Billy. Oh, no, no, no.

Smitty, I think, was trying to get their votes. Smitty made its top three. Yes. And then I lost it for both of us, and he was pissed. Yeah, you fucked him. Yeah. Yeah, that was nasty of you but shouts to him did he want you to vote for him he wanted me to vote for him yeah but he was not wrong if i voted for him i would have won

he just didn't want tommy to win yeah so and you voted for and then i voted for tommy because i assumed that so you were the deciding vote for Tommy. Because the whole game everyone was like we got to get Tommy out. We got to get Tommy out. And then I was like if I vote for Tommy that's just a vote going nowhere. Because no one's going to vote for Tommy. Turned out everyone voted for Tommy. Including you.

Including me. And you put money in Tommy's pocket. It would have been a tie. Oh he's a master. Yeah. He got your ass good. Yeah. He embarrassed your ass good. That's that's why he's the goat that's right except for during storm chasers dude i know dude that that tweet that you sent if i was on storm chasers i probably would have like gone

back to my room and cried i probably would have been like we let him down dude no they were they were like texting me like pissed off they're like why the fuck would you say that really yeah wait what happened i was just like the storm chasers have let me down this year this year you go find that storm yeah it was clearly not like that serious of a thing i was like you create the storm yeah you go make the storm oh and then yeah tommy was his feelings were hurt he was texting me uh hurt heard about it but i just wanted them to go and like whoop it up and fucking make some great content for the for the company and not to piss on the brand that fucking we created this beautiful brand but yeah he was very hurt by it and uh i apologize but Maybe he's not the GOAT. Some snark from Nicky Smokes.

Maybe he's the WOAT. Yeah, he could be WOATed. He might be WOATed. Calling someone the WOAT. Oh, man. He might be the WOAT. But then I knew that I was justified because the Eagles snatched Saquon Barkley from his precious Giants today. So we got to talk about that.

That's fucking nuts. Tommy Smokes is double crying. That is that's pretty crazy. That's pretty huge for the Eagles. You like that? No, I hate it. But it is like that's going to make them better already a Super Bowl contender. But they I mean, you can't Super Bowls aren't won in March, you know, kind of are.

You think so? Yeah. I mean, I'll tell you who's not a are. You think so? Yeah. I mean. I'll tell you who's not a Super Bowl contender right now is the Patriots. No, they signed Antonio Gibson. All they've done is fired all of their players and their head coach and signed not good players. Yeah. Doesn't look.

And they're going to fuck up the draft somehow. Well, what about Mac Jones? At least they still have him, right? No, they lost Mac. What? They lost Jones. No. Dude, I have his jersey at

home and i don't even know what to do with it anymore i mean i started using it as a towel or something yeah wipe my ass with it i think in the ancient roman times they would have affixed it to the end of a stick and wiped ass with it yeah i think that's what you have to do i think my best bet would be hope that he becomes this insanely like maybe the best player of all time and then i'll have the original patriots mac jones jersey that would go for some money a better bet is that everyone forgets about him and then you pull the jersey out in like five years and everyone's like yo fucking mac jones that's a fucking classic but will they do that i think it would probably be

if if mac jones if Mac Jones, they might not. They might not. If Mac Jones became, if something insane happened, because what is he's only on his third season in the NFL. Right. Fourth now, right? This will be his fourth. So if if he somehow has the if he somehow wins the next seven Super Bowls in a row, say Trevor Lawrence gets injured. Someone breaks his kneecaps, me perhaps, and Mac Jones becomes the starter for the Jaguars and they win the next seven Super Bowls.

Do you think that my original Mac Jones jersey would go for a lot of money or no? It will never go for money. Why are you trying to buy it like a fucking cryptocurrency? I'm trying to sell it. Sell it. Yeah, but it wasn't an investment. Well, now it is an investment. No, it was never an investment. So it doesn't have like trading card. A jersey never,

you're not buying jerseys for their resale value. You're buying them because you're prideful about that player. That's your favorite player. Yeah, but now he's not on the team anymore, so now he's not my favorite player at all. He's probably not even within my top 25. We're in a sunk cost fallacy right now.'re chasing something that has no value so it doesn't have it doesn't have the same trading value as cards it's probably like if you had like an original

tom brady michigan jersey that's just going for what still 40 bucks no well tom brady's a different a different case but that's why i'm saying if he becomes the next if he wins the next seven super bowls he becomes the next seven Super Bowls, he becomes the greatest quarterback of all time. If you have a Brady jersey, it's just like a jersey. I'll say this. Someone offered me a signed James Harden Brooklyn Nets authentic jersey for free. And I was like, I'm not even going to take that.

Yeah. All right. So no. So the answer is no. This is a hard no. I don't even want to carry that. I can't believe you thought you were going to get value for this ever i don't know i thought maybe something because they're not going to make mac have you ever had a jersey before they're not going to know they don't

appreciate but it's if they're if they're not going to have you're not buying stock in him but i did but no but i think what i'm trying to say is that they're not making mac jones patriots anymore there's probably not a lot of people that bought them in the first place. A lot of the time when a player like that gets traded or does something that just completely ruins their reputation, sometimes those pro shops will even buy those jerseys back from you. Yes, they'll buy them back. At a discount or something like that.

They'll buy the whole rack out and throw them in the garbage just to keep the heater going. They'll just keep them... They'll burn them like a tire fire. So then maybe down the road, I'll be the only person that still has a Mac Jones Patriots jersey. Their value has never been lower.

If you go into a fucking Foreman Mills in fucking Worcester... But once Mac Jones becomes the greatest to ever do it, then it will go up. Then people will be like, oh my god, that's the only Mac Jones Patriots jersey ever. But then someone could immediately just buy a personalized patriots jersey with see that is what's bringing

down the value is that you are able to just customize jersey at any time what do you mean what if i get it signed honestly you have a better chance of it being worth something if something horrific happens to him what if what if I get it signed by Mac Jones? A little better. With the date. Like before he starts playing for the Jaguars. Like you backdate a check? Yeah.

Yeah. What if I get in touch with him in the next six months before football starts again? I think you have a better chance of putting the date as 2012. Mac Jones. Oh, I see what you're talking about. And you forge a historical chance of like putting the date as like 2012 and i see what you're talking about like uh and you forge uh like a historical document out of it like he called his shot that he was going to be on the patriots that could be big mac jones at rock bottom this is the before picture i think if you're at that point in your career you're willing to travel

to sign to sign a jersey or Or maybe I'll mail it to him and then he'll send it back. We'll see if he'll fly out. No, just see if he'll fly to New York for it. Dude, I mean... Let's have him on the pod. Yeah, let's have him on the pod. Let's have him on the pod.

Yeah, and he'll open for me. Mac Jones on the pod. I'll go down, I'll do Laugh Boston, I'll do a one-nighter there. No, he's in Jacksonville now. We gotta go down to... You think he's already there? Yeah, we gotta go to the ville.

Fuck. We gotta go to Duval? We gotta go to the worst i don't want to go to fucking jacksonville little sasquatch becomes little duval that sucks i don't want to go there didn't you fall asleep in the delta lounge listening to little duval i remember that about you i saw a guy proposed to his girlfriend in the tailgate outside of Jaguars game after he did a mayonnaise pool belly flop competition. No. Was he a fat white? He was something else. Skinny black, believe it or not.

Something else. And I think he used like a ring pop or something to propose. He was covered in mayonnaise. Covered. That's what every girl wants. That's every girl's dream. She was like, he was getting down on his knee and the crowd was going nuts and I was like, don't say yes.

Honestly, she was probably like, no, no, please no. Not right now. They're definitely faking it for the attention of the moment. Well, actually, this did not seem like a couple that was. Yeah.

This was a big highlight. He saved up for the ring pop. Yeah. Did he clear the mayonnaise off of himself? No, he had it all through his hair and everything. Oh, my God. That's disgusting. Mayonnaise is not a good thing to put in. I heard it's a good hair product.

It probably is. The guy from 90 Day Fiance, Big Ed, used to put mayonnaise in his hair. Really? That's not surprising. He's a big guy. He's a thump. He's a chunky little guy. He's incredible.

It's so much more fun to say mayonnaise. Mayonnaise. Instead of mayonnaise. Naturally, we called our stuff Gatorade. Naturally, I grease my hair with mayonnaise. Naturally, we called our stuff Gatorade. Naturally, I greased my hair with mayonnaise. Oh, man. So Saquon's going to the birds. Saquon to the birds.

That's going to take a lot of pressure off of Jalen. He's not going to have to be the star. But you look at it this way, the team with the highest paid running back has never won the Super Bowl. But then you look at it this way, the pendulum could be swinging the other way as far as the running back market,

and you're looking at what the 49ers did with McCaffrey, and you're like, hey, let's see if we can replicate that. Then you look at it this way, in Los Angeles last year with the Chargers, Brandon Staley, when he was their offensive coordinator, he was under fire for not running the ball enough. But then you look at it this way, the Eagles offensive line. I don't know if I can look at it any more ways. That's so many ways.

I've got at least 10 more ways. We're being truly circumspect. We're being so goddamn circumspect about this that we're looking at it from all angles. Yes, we are. You just got to hope they're going to use him the right way. Because Sirianni. They might have to split him out wide.

That's what I'm saying. I'm thinking bring him out wide. Split him out wide. But then are you going to pay Devontae Smith? Are you going to continue to pay A.J. Brown? Are we going to pay three offensive skill position guys? Is Devontae still on a rookie contract yeah we can look at it all

those ways but I still like to see it the way that the Eagles benefit the most you know why well I'm taking a bird's eye view god damn it that's good I think how I hate it I hate every single part of that good shit but what I will say is I think AJ Brown is going to definitely

go to the Patriots now because. That wouldn't happen. Because he's not going to want to be. He wants to be the star player. He is the star player. And once you've got Saquon on the team. Saquon's the star player. He's the highest paid player on the team.

You need a star receiver. No, he's not. A.J. Brown's still making more money than him, Chief. Really? By a lot. How much is A.J. Brown's contract? He makes $20 million a year. Maybe $25.

He's making three years $38 million. So what's that? I thought Saquon had $100 million. God, no. Almost $13. Oh, so not at making three years, $38 million. So what's that? I thought Saquon had $100 million. God, no. Almost $13. Oh, so not at all. Yeah, $13 million. Oh, Saquon.

Get your fucking money up, dude. He's had injuries. Running backs, it's a brittle position. How much does McCaffrey make? Maybe more than that. A lot more than that. Dumbass. Let's pull it up.

I've been shamed again pull it up how much is a lot more than that what do you think he makes 100 million exactly Pat Bass made more than that Christian McCaffrey

contracts I would always play in the NBA before NFL yeah you got a 6'4 white and I was base salaries 12 million 12 million dumbass wow rescind your dumbass no never rescind it never rescind it you don't know ball what are you talking about i know you didn't even know that saquon barkley got signed you don't know

ball honestly i gotta scroll and just see if there's been any more signings oh no i didn't know saquon got signed you didn't know what i said got signed. You didn't know it. I said it. I know. I've been all over it too. I don't know if you guys saw. I broke the news that Kirk Cousins got moved to the Falcons. I'm always first on it. What? Xavier McKinney signed with the Green Bay Packers. No.

You did? No. It's probably worth way more now though. No. You did? No. It's probably worth way more now, though. No. Damn. I thought that we were going to get McKinney. We're going to have to get another safety. Maybe Jesse Bates.

DeMar Hamlin. How about fucking Gabe Davis signing with Jacksonville? No. Really? You didn't know this? Damn, Seth. Gabe? This is what happens when you sleep like a normal human being.

Wait, but this is good for you. What? Gabe Davis to the Jaguars? First off, you don't know ball. But second of all, you're not seeing the silver lining. Mac Jones and Gabe Davis. Ooh. You can definitely get it signed. You can definitely get it signed you can definitely get it signed

holy gabe to the jags what mac and davis mac and d's bro mac to davis is gonna be that has a nice ring to it mac Mac to Davis, Davis to Mac. What about my signed Gabe Davis photo that says, To Harry, welcome to the Bills Mafia. Do you think that's going to go for anything? No, now that's worthless. That's worthless. You're not in Bills Mafia and he's not in Bills Mafia.

Do you think I have to take down that photo? Because I have it framed in my house. You have to get him a new one that says, Welcome to Duval. I know. Or one that says, Duval. Well, now I'm going to need one from Gabe and Mac. Yeah.

Gabe and Mac. Return of the Mac. You're going to have to what? Hit up Gabe. Yeah, email him. I know. Do you have his email? I'll have to get it.

Talk to his trainer. Gabe, hit us with your email or hit Sass with your email. Man, I got to schedule some Jacksonville dates. I feel like we could all be a Jags show. We could become super into Jags. Yeah, we could get really into Jags. It doesn't really go in contrast with anything that we're trying to do with our lives. We're going to have to eliminate Trevor Lawrence, though, because now he's becoming a problem.

No, it's backup quarterback's best job in town. He's not backup. I watched. He's saying Mac. I watched, he's saying Mac. Oh. Mac up quarterback? Hello. Mac up. I watched the game from the owner's suite at Jaguar Stadium.

Really? With chaps. Really? This guy has his own sushi chef there. What the fuck? Shahad Khan. Oh, yes. That guy.

Yes. I think he made his money On like the bumper buddy Or something Really Invented some product That helps cars That's the real American dream And then we went to the

The pool Yes On there And we were in there With all these girls We gotta go to that pool And swim with our shirts on boys It's good

I did that Totally Yeah we made a video I did that I was in that pool With all those girls Did you take your shirt off No I kept it on Fuck yes And I don't call it a shirt I did that I was in that pool With all those girls Did you take your shirt off? No I kept it on

Fuck yes And I don't call it a shirt I call it a rash guard A camisole It's a rash guard You definitely were You're that You're that shade of skin

Color that You probably had to wear A shirt at the beach When you were a kid It just made it easier Yeah It was safe You wear one of those

Long sleeve ones Yep Put the white stuff On your nose Yeah Zinc oxide Yep It was safe that way. You wear one of those long sleeve ones. Yep. Put the white stuff on your nose. Yeah. Zinc oxide. Mm-hmm. Yep.

Dates this weekend? Dates? New York City, bro. What? Really? No, I'm just going to be in the city. I'm in Nashville at Zany's Thursday through Saturday. Come out and we're going to go to the Barstool Bar on Thursday night.

Really? People who come to the show get to skip the line. Are you serious? Four sharks, bro. That's sick. I'm excited. That's a pretty good deal. I love that bar. I'm excited.

That's a genuinely very fun bar. Big, fun things about it. Are you going to do a set there? No. Really? It's not a comedy club. Yeah, but there's like a DJ booth. You could do a set there.

What's up everybody yeah this is the shit that didn't make the the hour director's cut I don't think people at that bar

want to watch me do comedy if you if you sung it with the guitar I'll set that up I think that would be a great idea if you want to see me

do comedy come to Zany's and then we'll go to the bar and then at the bar they're going to do a little like 15 minutes like a Q&A type thing yeah Glennie and Hannah Cook will be there yeah interviewing Francis I'm down And then at the bar, they're going to do a little 15-minute Q&A type thing. Yeah.

Glennie and Hannah Cook will be there. Yeah. Interviewing Francis. I'm down. Tickets at FrancisEllis.com. Hell yes. I'm there. You're going to go?

No. I'm going to Philly. Philly. What are you doing out in Philly? I'm going to hold my friend's baby for the first time. Hold my friend Mike's baby. That's cool. Oh, my God. And then I'm going to go to the baby for the first time Hold my friend Mike's baby That's cool And then I'm gonna go to the ale house have a roast beef Meet up at the ale house Saturday night

Yup little ale house if you got tickets To go see his friend's baby You will be able to skip the line at the ale house At the ale house or no you get free Touch the baby and they let you smell Your fingers you'll get to skip the line Yeah you have to You have to smell the fingers, though.

But, dude, I've been craving a good roast beef in New York. Not like a thin-sliced cold roast beef sandwich. I'm talking about a fucking hot roast beef. You mean Monster? I heard there's one in, like, deep Brooklyn, in, like, Bensonhurst or some shit like that. I might take a pilgrimage out there to try it. I'm going to go out there after this. Ye Olde Alehouse.

Incredible roast beef. Yeah, you used to work there, right? Big time. Slice the beef? My most famous achievement. People still come up to me and be like, I love Ye Olde Alehouse beefs. That's a story for a different day.

No, I like that story. It's a good story. No, no, it's a story for a different day. Okay, we'll save that. My bad. We'll save that. My bad. We'll save that for the Patreon. Oh, yes. All right, well, thank you guys all for listening.

We will see you on Thursday. Also, how crazy is it that going to Tuesday and Thursday, we've gone up 10,000 listeners per episode? I know. That's fucking sick. Who knew? That's crazy. Great data.

That's what happens when you're superstars. Estamos famosos. Estamos famosos. Estamos famosos. Alright, thank you guys for listening. We'll see you all on Thursday. Goodbye. Good work.