Son of a Boy Dad - MAPS | Son of a Boy Dad #220

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

MAPS | Son of a Boy Dad #220 -- Sas & Rone catch up on their weekends -- Ad: Get up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/SON. -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I'm really not worried about it. I go full two hours. No problem. You're like three hours if you want. No, I'm good on that. So four. I feel like I have a pretty good gauge on an hour though. Alrighty welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is July 29th, Monday. Monday. I almost cried this morning because it's almost August already.

I know. Yeah. I'm kind of over the summer though so I'm kind of ready for the fall. You want to finally be able to start wearing sweatshirts? Yeah I couldn't wear my sweatshirt here so I brought it because I knew it was gonna be cold in here. Not even cold just I can wear a sweatshirt. Sweater weather in here. Yeah like it's it's it's an option. Yeah why couldn't you wear it here? Too hot out? Dude it's fucking so hot outside. A couple weeks ago it was even hotter. Yeah but it doesn't even but like it didn't feel that hot like it it was

supposed to it's like it's like 80 right now and it feels like it's fucking a hundred. Where does your sweat hit your body? Everywhere. My entire body. Yeah everywhere. Your leg sweat? Oh yeah. Like shins. I have a classic, uh, busty woman's under tit sweat. I get that. I get my back pretty bad. Yeah. I get my back when I'm, when I'm on stage, my back sweats so much. That's gross. It's disgusting. The most manly place to get sweat is like dead, dead in your chest.

Yeah. And my chest doesn't sweat at all. It's not a single drop. I could be in a sauna and it would be dry as hell. Yeah. Just eating dinner off the chest plate. The rest of your body's soaked. Yeah, I don't know why. The only time I get it going is when I start doing an incline.

I'll hit an incline treadmill. Incline will make you sweat like crazy. I look like I actually worked out. I don't even think I'm fucking, I'm burning calories but I'm not even losing weight. My body just thinks I'm like dying and like we need to take a heck of a lot of these calories. We need to keep these calories for as long as possible. You are not gonna get skinny on my watch. Yeah, you're just burning muscle.

It's fucking terrible. I don't know what to do. I was telling Tyler this the other day, dude. I think I spent like maybe this entire calendar year being like, I'm about to fucking bulk up. Like I need to eat everything in fucking, in front of me. Oh yeah. And then I just got fat. Yeah, bulking up is a dangerous game. Unless you're like, unless you're like training

like three times a day. And I thought I was. Yeah, bulking up. Like I remember I tried bulking and then I did it for three days. And I was like, I think I've gained 15 pounds and it's all gone straight to my stomach. I think it started in January where I saw it all starts from something you see online. It was like the 30, 30, 30, you need to be within 30 minutes of waking up. You need to exercise for 30 minutes and eat 30 grams of protein. And was like eating eggs while I was like still asleep.

Well, there's also like weird things. Like you'll get like a 50 gram protein shake, but then you look it up and they're like, actually your body can only take in like one gram of protein an hour. It's like, what is it? It's like 30, you can only take in like 30 grams of protein an hour.

So it's like, why do they make 50 gram protein shakes? Yeah, and the rest will just rest in your bosom. Yeah. It turns into estrogen immediately. It turns into the fire hot shit. Yeah. The smelliest shit you could possibly imagine. Farts that will like escape your body.

They sense when it's a bad time. They're like, no, that this is an inappropriate time to fart. I've been having the worst shits lately. Not lately. No, lately it's been worse than ever. I've been having the worst shits lately. Not lately. No, lately it's been worse than ever. It's been worse? Yeah.

God, we need to get a fecal transplant for you, bro. I'm worried. On Saturday night, my stomach was making the most insane movements that I thought that there was construction being done on the building because it was so consistent that I was like, oh, maybe my couch is just vibrating right now and then I got up and it was still happening and I was like what the fuck dude?

It's probably the radiator cranking. Yeah. Why are there metallic sounds coming inside of my body? But it was such a consistent... They're probably jackhammering next door. Yeah. My neighbors are probably fucking right now. It was weird as hell. Is that a woman moaning or is it my stomach? But I haven't been able to shit at night. So it's just been in the morning like today I just woke up and just immediately had to go to the toilet What do you normally poop at night? I normally can poop at any hour of the day Like four in the morning. I'll be taking a shit. You got an itchy trigger finger Yeah, but now it's just been only in the morning.

Stay ready so you don't have to get ready, bro. Which I guess is fine, like it's ideal to shit in the morning. You're like Jason Bourne sleeping with a gun under his pillow, you just wake up in the middle of the night like fucking ready to shoot, ready to fire it off. Yeah, it sucks ass. Yeah, but I mean I feel like doing it in the morning

is the healthy way just to get the day going. That's what everyone Yeah, but I mean I feel like doing it in the morning is the Healthy way just to get the get the yeah, that's what everyone says But then when you got it a fuck when it's the afternoon you got to go again, and you can't go sucks I don't know what I would do without toilets if it would be better I think toilets might be getting too comfy for the human you know I tried to shit in the woods Never I tried to shoot in the woods when I was in Wyoming and I just couldn't do it. Really? My friends both did it.

And they would do it like immediately. Like they'd be like, all right, I'm gonna go take a shit. Like we'd wake up before we go fishing, like I'm gonna go take a shit. They'd come back in like 45 seconds and be like, yeah, that was a good one, done. And then I would go out there and I would squat for like 15 minutes. And then I would be like, yeah, it was a good one, done. And then I would go out there and I would squat for like 15 minutes.

And then I would be like, this is, all I'm focusing on is how much, how sore my legs are right now. Your knees aren't, you can do specific knee workouts just to be able to shit. Yeah, exactly. You need to be able to twerk like ice spice. You need to be able to get low for 90 seconds.

I tried to like sit on a stump. And just hang your ass off. And hang my ass off of it But then it just like hurt my legs. It was just like I was getting like splinters in my thighs You're getting blood clots in your ass. Yeah, it was terrible. Yeah, I didn't shit in the woods once the entire time I didn't shit for the first two days or three days and then I found a porta potty and I shit in there for like an hour straight and And then I found a porta potty and I shit in there for like an hour straight. And then, but then that's how it works for me is like if I shit once and it's small,

and then like 30 minutes later, it's like the reckoning. The second coming. It's like a tremor of an earthquake. And we went to get, we went to get food one day, like when we were moving spots. And then when we went to that restaurant, I went to the bathroom for like 30 minutes and just exploded the bathroom. Then I did shit again for like another, like two days. Your food's just cold when you get back?

Yeah, yeah, it's terrible. I know a lot of people in the wilderness will like water dump. Oh, they'll shit in the water? Yeah, but I don't know how that works. That is just like, a surprise next to you. Yeah, that sounds awful.

It sounds like such a nasty way, and then you have to like, go into the fucking nature as like, your terror just comes with you. Yeah, like what then you just pull out your rod right after you shit and start casting. Yeah, like the fish that you just caught also ate your shit.

Yeah, we had one place where we fished where there was so many cows and we were, I wanted to get water from that river but my friends were like, the cows just shit in this water all day. Yeah. I thought like, if you have one of these water filters and it's like, filters 99.9% of bacteria, you could probably get water from the shit water. I guess. From cow shit water? With you, with your- get water from the shit water. From cow shit water?

With you, with your- It's not human shit. Diarrhea though, it's like at least they're probably dropping logs that sink to the bottom. Yeah. Like the whole color of the lake would change when you drop one in there. But like what, like if, how, what is the kind of water,

like those water filters are meant for like kids in Africa to drink water out of like puddles Yeah, like I think it's a dirty rain or is that poop? I don't know probably both. Yeah, I think some cow shit would filter through Some countries they'll just shit in rivers. Yeah some countries you're not even supposed to like we didn't even eat any of the fish out of those rivers because You were worried about the shit. They were, yeah, they were contaminated with poop. I mean, they, the every like the sea is the most vast place on earth. It's like the sea is endless.

But it's salt. So what does that do? It's an antibacterial? I think, yeah. Kills the fucking shit. That's why the waters are salty. I think more than fresh water. Yeah. I mean, if you put shit in fresh, in fresh water. Yeah. I mean if you put shit in fresh in fresh water it's just like sitting there it's not it's not killing it. I think if you shit into

salt water you'd come back a day later and the shit would just be gone. Even by the salt. I don't know I'd assume so. I'd assume it's I've assumed salt water is more clean, bacteria wise than fresh water. Where every fish in the world from the like little minnows that you're catching the little fucking tiny two-inches that you're catching to the fucking Goliath groupers at the bottom of the ocean or the ones with a light dangling, every single one of them. Do those actually exist? Definitely. The fish that just have a

light bulb fucking hanging over their head? That have like the Pixar light bouncing in front of them. I've only ever seen that in Nemo. No, those are definitely real. I think they're a lot smaller than people think. Really? I think they're like this big. I mean the ocean's so deep that we have no idea. That's true. Sometimes you'll see a Mako shark with his head bit off. It's like, what the fuck did that? Who the fuck was doing that? Yeah. But every one of those animals, every one of those beings

is shitting in the ocean. Yeah. And you think the salt water is just like, I don't think shit. Oxi cleaning it away? I don't know. All I know is that I feel like I hear more stuff about people. Actually, I knew someone who did get like a bacterial infection from salt water. So maybe I'm wrong. I mean, I probably am wrong. I'm really just talking

out of my ass right now. But like, I know like fresh water, like they have like the glaciers, there's like crazy parasites and like glacier streams. Yeah. So I don't know. I think there's a lot of parasites in freshwater parasites are out here Yeah, but it's also when you say you're floating on a door after the Titanic sunk. You can't drink the water No, you can't drink that salt water But is that because the salt content or because the huge turds that are in there? I think probably because the salt I think it says because you're thirsty and what's not gonna help is just drinking

an entire bottle of salt. Unless you're Frank the Tank. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Frank the Tank, after the Titanic, would have just eaten his way out of the ocean. Yeah, yeah. He would have just chomped through the ocean. But then apparently-

Like Moses just parts in front of him as he chomps away. But apparently salt hydrates you at the same time But then apparently Moses just like parts in front of him as he chops away, but apparently Salt hydrates you at the same time in small doses. I wish Jack and Rose knew that yeah, exactly Just like a little bit of salts just like a little sip. Yeah, exactly. You're good to go for like a week Yeah, yeah blowed up. That's pretty much what liquid IV is damn rose. You look fat as fuck. Yeah, exactly Yeah, exactly. Yeah there's definitely someone who was like Put this podcast on and they're like not to enjoy my dinner. Oh, yeah for sure

Fuck dude. I just tried to eat my fucking meal They should have known we were gonna be talking about nasty topics cuz Francis isn't here right? He can't handle this kind of talk poppies away So we'll go back to boy dad 1.0. We talked about shit piss and cum and boobies Exactly, dude. I watched uh I watched that Obama movie last night leave the world behind Have you seen it? I haven't seen it. What's it? Oh, what's it about global warming now? It's about like a cyber attack No, he has another one. That's like he's like he's like a narrator for a global warming movie Why the fuck this one produced yeah, so No, he has another one that's like, he's like a narrator for a global warming movie. This one he produced. Yeah? So my mom is texting me and she's like,

isn't it crazy that Obama made that movie? Like Obama didn't make the movie. He was like watching Daly's in the director's chair. Exactly. He probably gave them like $5 million to make the movie. Now what if we opened up the aperture a little bit? Yeah, exactly, yeah.

It's like the same shit with like Will Ferrell produced succession. Yeah, he just slapped his name on. Yeah, he didn't make succession. If you watch anything, there's like a list of like 700 executive producers at the end of the credits. Like it was like a media movie. Yeah. Like Obama was like dressed up playing the women. Yeah, like meet the clumps. It was. It was like a Madea movie. Yeah, or like Obama was like dressed up playing the Like meet the clumps it was it was crazy though cuz I'm really interested in like the cyber attacks and the thing that confused me about it was that like apparently like Obama is Kind of the reason that cyber attacks even exist really so I don't know why he was involved in that movie because... Explain. They when the US cyber they were like the first people to use cyber attacks in an offensive like in offense. Like people were using cyber attacks forever

to like eavesdrop on other countries and see what they were doing and shit but this was the first time that anyone ever like attacked. We attacked Iran and we shut down their nuclear program really yeah Damn, we and us in Israel damn we tag-teamed Iran damn yeah And that like opened the doors for everybody to use cyber attacks, and then I ran I attacked Las Vegas Viva Las Vegas No with a cyber attack. Oh did that oh? I remember hearing about that that That was Iran that did that? Yeah.

All the casinos were like writing out IOUs basically. Exactly, yeah. Like we can't shut down business. Yeah, exactly. This guy's on a heater. Yeah. So, I don't know... So it's weird for Obama to make a movie about cyber attacks when he's the entire reason...

I mean, technically it wasn't him though. It was like Bush and then it was passed down to Obama. It was just post 2001. Yeah the drones and the and the cyber attacks were like two of the things that Obama had to keep doing after Bush left office. That's why I thought it was always weird that Greta Thunberg was making all this anti global warming shit because she was the one that's been fucking burning all these tire fires. Exactly. exactly yeah or who does or

didn't Al Gore make a bunch of global warming movies or some shit like that inconvenient truth I'm pretty sure was Al Gore I'm not a huge global warming person you don't believe in it no I believe in it it just doesn't interest me at all like I have no I don't care I care, but like I've tried to watch like global warming documentaries and like within, like I tried to watch that Leonardo DiCaprio one within 45 seconds, I was like, this is so boring. Yeah, cause you're like hearing his private plane go by.

Yeah, exactly, it's everyone that's making them is like a billionaire who has like 10 planes and like five yachts. And the one thing- And then they just happened, they also have just like a dump where they're just burning trash. Yeah. Like, well, I'm not going to put my trash in the public trash.

That's crazy. People will go through it. Yeah. They'll find out which teens I've been fucking. Yeah, exactly. It's, yeah, the one thing that actually does it the worst, I think, is the boats, the steam or like the cruise ships. Oh the worst, I think, is the boats, the steam, or the cruise ships.

Oh yeah, I'm sure. Dude, I didn't know. Did you know that oil tankers move at 30 miles per hour? Really? Like max speed. Really? Yeah. We're getting oil over here from 2007.

Yeah, exactly. We're getting old ass oil. There's got to be a better method. Drive it. Everyone should getting old ass oil. There's gotta be a better method, like drive it. Like everyone should just take a car. There should just be like 70 cars that have to drive it over. You like walk past the oil tanker.

Cause I looked it up cause in that movie, like the beginning, there's a scene where like an oil tanker just like, because everything loses control cause like all their power goes out. And the oil tanker loses control and like comes through the shore and it comes in and it's barreling into the shore.

And then I looked it up and I was like, I don't think, I think that thing would have gotten beached like 10 miles before the shore. And then I looked it up and it was like, usually they move at like 20 miles per hour, but the big ones can go 30. It's a runaway train. That's insane. The moving walkway at the airport goes faster. Yeah.

30 mile per hour boat, I think I could just like stick my arm out and be like stop. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, yeah. Just lean on it. That's like a car in neutral. Yeah, exactly. That's as slow as possible. I guess they probably have a ton of momentum but.

But what, but if they had a bunch of momentum wouldn't you think they'd be going faster than 30? Yeah, but I guess also there's no slope. It's not they're going downhill. I Mean if you're driving in neutral, it sounds like you're going like 80 sounds like you're not married to the globe Low-key flat out there dude, if you driving, then you're going 80 in neutral. Within three minutes, your car is stopped. But, uh... Like, and you're on flat ground? Yeah. I guess an object in motion will stay in motion...

No. Unless, unless... I don't think so. I'm saying unless another force acts on it. So if they're, like, in the ocean, the fucking friction of like being surrounded by the oceans, I constantly slowing them down. Yeah. I don't know.

I think we're saying the same thing. I think. I don't understand what, in what scenario an oil tanker would lose power 10 miles out from the ocean and then somehow like still manage to like destroy the beach houses in the Hamptons. Yeah. Well dude, I just burned one of Newton's three laws and I'm fucking, I only have two more things about science that I know.

I've been saving it until this episode of the podcast. I burned out all of my, the Iran thing was my big one. That was my big facts for the day. He's like, okay, we got to pivot off talking shit. And I found out about that after I watched that movie. You did a little Google. And I was like, I'm going to come in here and be like, it's so stupid that Obama made the movie when it was his fault.

That was an incredibly good point. It is though. I was like, holy fuck. Isn't it interesting? Hollywood's full of hypocrites. Isn't that interesting though? It is extremely interesting. That's like if Bin Laden made a movie about terrorist attacks. We need to stop, it's disgusting what they're doing.

The terrorists. There's planes that are just getting hijacked everywhere. It's terrible. People need to know about this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. These scumbags.

It doesn't make any sense. Who the fuck could be doing this? Yeah. Paul on Obama in the hot dog car. Think you should leave. Little shot of watching. Little I think you should leave. Ever hear of it? Classic. Dude check out this shirt bro. Yeah I saw it. Little devil worshiping. There's titties right on the shirt. I know and then it says 666 on the back. I know. What is the shirt for? It's from this bar called death match in hell that I want to know Japan yeah, bro. Really everything is

666 yen, which is like four bucks four dollar beers. That's pretty cool. Pretty fucking good prices. Yeah, was it like heavy metal? It was like slasher films It was j-pop, you know, j-pop is a real thing. Oh, yeah, I didn't know that until this morning j-pop. It was J-pop. You know J-pop's a real thing. Oh yeah. I didn't know that until this morning. J-pop, like just dudes with the most beautiful heads of hair that you've ever seen in your life. I've been, I was on Reddit and I saw some post about like some girl who's like a J-pop girl who posted a picture with her boyfriend and she got in like a ton of trouble because like I guess they're not supposed to have boyfriends.

And then now she has, now she's required to kill herself. No, she's required to post a good night photo every night by herself. And the photos are just like her just looking right into the camera. Required by who? I don't know, whoever the J-pop lords are.

What the fuck? There's lords of J-pop? Oh yeah. All those people are robots, dude. I mean, aren't the K-pop people in the war now? Oh yeah. They're front line workers. But isn't, like, is the boyfriend making her do that? The boyfriend's manager making her do that?

Or are the fans making her do that? I didn't read enough about it. I just saw the posts. They'll kick you out of the band problem. It's probably the other bandmates. Yeah yeah because I think like people... You're fucking up our chances of not getting pussy. Yeah exactly it's like a well it's like when like people find out that like a twitch streamer has a boyfriend and they're like what the fuck I watched Pokimane for ten years straight for this. I want my nuts back. Yeah. I want all the jizz that I jizzed out back. Lucky I've been saving it under my computer.

Caked into the floor like a candle making factory. That's like a different level of horniness that I've never gotten to is the the watching Twitch streams. Watching closed people. Yeah watching Twitch streams is crazy. I used to watch Ninja the goat. Yeah, but I would watch him like when I was in high school and I would just watch him play Fortnite while I was in like math class. Did you see he was at that big poker game? Uh, that was like Jimmy Butler. Who else was at that? It was like Jimmy Butler, Nate, who else? It was like all these famous people. But then one of the guys at the table was like hey fellas Everybody tipped 500 to the dealer and then Joe was like well like I've been tipping the whole time like yeah

I'm gonna lose 500 off my stack. He was like getting roasted online for it really, but isn't he rich as fuck I'm sure he's rich as fuck. I don't think he's as he's not as big as he was Yeah, like when he was like streaming with Drake. he had like the most viewed live stream of all time. There was like 700,000 people watching. Now he's a hot guy with like tattoo arms, right? I don't think he's a hot guy with tattoo arms. He has one tattoo. He definitely has one tattoo arm. He's talking about retiring. Seriously, what the fuck? He put out a post saying that he's thinking about retiring. Not to go here. Yeah. People shit on Ninja, I love Ninja. At least he's not like fucking kids

like every single other Twitch streamer. What's going on with that? I mean, every single week there's a new person who's like, and they were talking to minors. Are they talking to minors or is it just like they walk down the street and they're like, hey, what's up? Like someone was like, hey, big fan. And they were like, oh, thanks.

And then people are like, you'll never guess who I saw talking to minors. I'm guessing that they're aggressively sliding into DMs. I think they're sex-pesting. They're sex-pesting? They gotta be being sex-pests. Then there's gotta be, the percentage of people that are pedophiles must be like 80% and just no one knows.

Cause it can't, it's every single week there's someone new. Like that Mr. Beast trans person. Yeah, Chris. Chris or Tyson, what's their name? Ava? Ava. I don't know, pedophile now. Certify pedophile.

Yeah. Wap, wap, wap, wap, wap. Which is bad to look for the trans community cause they already have that stereotype. He certified pedophile? Yeah. He is? Kicked out of Mr. Beast's clan. I thought it was for the trans community because they already have that He certified pedophile? Yeah! He is? Kicked out of, kicked out of Mr. Beast's clan I thought it was for being trans

No, dude! Mr. Beast is so accepting of the trans community I legitimately thought that it was because I thought they were like, alright we tried it for a while but they were trans It's just like You gotta go back It didn't mesh with our values Go back, take some time off, come back as a dude again

We'll see if this works. Yeah people forget No, apparently they were fucking kids They were or not fucking but like sex pestin DMing I guess or they just walked past him on the street and said what's up? Yeah, and Vitaly swooped in his alley swooped in or some like a group of black teens swooped in The YG just like was it YG and like Vitaly who beat the shit out of a, I don't know, like half the videos online are pedophiles and half the videos are people catching pedophiles. Yeah, I-

It's a big Tom and Jerry cartoon. I had to start just muting words on Twitter. I was like, I don't, I don't, I don't want to read about more people being pedophiles. I don't care. Yeah, but that's how you wind up as one. No, I don't think it is. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I don't care. Yeah, but that's how you wind up as one. No, I don't think it is.

I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I don't think you have to have this outlook that's like minor, like talking or like, like seeing a minor in public, you have to like shield your eyes and like run the other direction. Like it's like the, the, the thought process around minors right now. It's insane. It's like every, like everyone everyone my whole entire Twitter timeline is people being like, yeah, that person was 19 and they talked to a 17 year old. Dude, I don't even you know how like minor attractive person is a thing. No maps. You

never heard that? No, it's like it's a reclassification. What's the boys one? Oh, Nambla. Nambla. I know Nambla. Now it's maps. Minor attractive person is way easier. I don't even watch GeoGuessr anymore, dude. That's, I don't even fucking. Are they all, they're all on. They love maps. Oh, I'm sure like the top GeoGuessr dude will get taken down within the next month. Oh, for sure.

You'll never guess who was talking to miners. Dude, I'm not even kidding. My entire timeline is just, this person was talking to miners, this person was talking to minors, this person was talking to minors. It's either not as crazy as they're making it out to be. It's like someone DMed them and they were like, hey, what kind of a keyboard are you using

for your Twitch stream? And they're like, oh, this. And then it's like, they're talking to minors. Or it's like 90% of internet personalities are pedophiles. You know who's grooming the parents? Yeah. I think so. When I was in like seventh grade,

the thongs, or seventh or eighth grade, the thong song came out. Not familiar. Cisco, the thong song? Let me see that thong. Yeah, no idea. You don't know that song? No, I mean you said you were in sixth grade. So I was not born yet.

You were a twinkle in your father's eye. The girls are wearing thongs. Who's buying these young girls thongs? Fucking Mr. Beast. The parents. And now Mr. Beast is in trouble for like saying the M word or something. It's just everyone's just getting in trouble constantly. The Twitch community is in trouble for like saying the N-word or something. It's just everyone's just getting in trouble constantly.

The Twitch community is in shambles. Well, dude, nobody's perfect. No one's perfect, dude. That's the problem. We've all said the N-word on stream before. We've either said the N-word or been attracted to a minor, bro. Dude, it's everyone. It's one or the other.

There's two types of people in this world. You've either said the N word or you've been taken down in a sting operation in a Walmart parking lot. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't those dudes ever walk away too. The dudes always like thinks that they'll just be able to stand there and just like talk their way

out of it. It's like, okay, like, just give me, give me what for and I'll fuck your means. Yeah, I'll give you $300 then then your three you lost your last $300 and and you got the shit kicked out of you in a Walmart imagine like running into someone you know after that happens you know walking out of Walmart bleeding like what's going on what happened just? Just spying some bandits. Yeah Just in here for the gauze wraps fucking looting and they're looting or something. I don't know Looting's back. I don't know these fucking protesters

I tripped. I don't know. I fell. I walked into a door Really? Because you're beat up from head to toe at all different angles. Your eye is hanging out of the socket What happened? Yeah, screen door. I ran right into a screen door. 70 kids in shy-sties came up to me and kicked the shit out of me. You'll probably see it on WorldStar later. All righty, let's talk about Game Time. Game Time, I got it right here. Did you know that you get tickets for Limp Bizkit for just $38 right now? That's right, Game Time, the official taking partner of Barstool Sports. You shouldn't have to worry when you buy your tickets for your next big event.

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listeners at babel.com slash sun. Get up to 60% off at babel.com slash sun spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash sun. Rules and restrictions may apply. They might. You know what videos I've been enjoying are Uber drivers who have had it up to here with disrespectful customers and they'll pull over and be like, get out of the car. Oh yeah, yeah, I love that shit. I've had it up to here with Uber.

I'm not Ubering anymore. Yeah. Those days are behind me. No Uber Eats and no Ubers. No Uber Eats? Yeah.bers. No Uber Eats? Yeah. I'm still door dashing and using Lyfts, but just not Uber. The company itself? Yeah. One of the Uber driver videos is like an Uber driver confronting the CEO.

Really? He's like, you told us you're not going to raise the prices on Uber Black. He's like, when did I lie to you? Tell me one time when I lied to you. If I saw the CEO of Uber, I think I would have, it would have to be just be on site as soon as I saw him. What are your grievances? I hate Uber so much. Why?

I just hate it. It's so expensive and there are people, like the drivers are annoying as shit. And it's like, I don't even think it's like a language barrier thing. I think they're just like genuinely annoying. Yeah. Like you know when you get in the car

and they're talking on the phone? Yeah. Like if you listen long enough, you're like, I don't even like, like this is annoying for me. I can't imagine being the person on the other end of the phone right now. You must, you haven't let the other person speak once They're just talking to the suicide help hotline

Still driving I Thought I'd have a real career by now. I did I tried to order a smoothie the other day was just Filing through different different new breeds dudes They're all they're all going to the they're all going to the place and then canceling. And then I looked it up, the place is closed. And I'm like, why wouldn't Uber just at some point realize the place is closed and just cancel the order? Why don't you just complain to Uber,

get a little cash back? I'm just done with it. I'm lazy, it's making me lazy as shit. Yeah, that's what's making you lazy. Yeah, it's like the number one thing that's made me lazy. But you're still getting door dash. No, I was kidding, I'm not. I'm walking now.

You also, you are one, you are a half block away from like a strip of coffee shops, smoothie stores. I've been on that. I've been walking to the coffee shop and it's made me feel worse than ever. Why? Because it takes maybe 15 seconds. Oh, you're saying all the time you wasted

Yes. going up Ubers? Like waiting for 30 minutes to door dash Starbucks, which is next door. Like hear them making it. Yeah. It's like my order. Yeah, that's my order.

Well, I lay in bed and I buzzed the person in for fucking 15 minutes and I go, I'll just calm down. It's a push. Push. Push. It gets jammed. Because they're messaging me and they're saying the door's not opening and I hear them pulling it on the phone and I'm yelling push.

They don't know what the word push means so then I have to put on my slippers and go down Push is a dirty word in their language And if I'm going down I may as well just walk to the restaurant or walk to the coffee shop the problem is it's like It is nice to go outside. No, it's not Yet is it can be it is I'm I'm still I'm I'm getting my own coffee like I'm walking getting coffee But restaurants, I'm still, it's still a pain in the ass. It jogs your brain.

It like, uh, like how do you get food from a restaurant? You got to call and fucking put it in yourself and then you gotta go pick it up. Uh, I guess, the last three years I spent with a man coming to my door and pretty much feeding me my meal. So I truly don't know how to, or food. It how to baby bird. I don't know how to get food I know how to go like I go to a deli and get a sandwich Sucks. Yeah your microwave probably works overtime My microwave is awful

Yeah, you beat it up you get some factor meals or some shit like that. I was ripping through factors I might get back on factors. Honestly, it's good food. It's easy to eat. Are we still sponsored by them or did they abandon? Did they jump ship? I don't think they abandoned us. They would never do that to us. No, I would never do that to them. Those are our brothers. Those are our brothers over a factor.

I'm just subsisting off of the vitamins and body armor. Yeah. There's so many good vitamins in a whole body armor. I'm pretty much just running off of like cliff bars and body armor for my nutrients right now. Yeah, they literally have everything that you need. Yeah. Like last week is like one of my first come to Jesus moments being like I'm fucking fat as shit. Like I spent the last year destroying my body in the worst ways thinking that I was like doing as shit. Like I spent the last year destroying my body in the worst ways, thinking that I was like doing something better.

And I would, I was, so I was doing like, I was fasting for 22 hours a day. Yeah. Yeah. And it made it, it just like, it made it so much worse. I would like eat my meal and probably like got no nutrients. Oh yeah, cause then you just slop out

for two hours straight. I slopped out. Just chopped Oh, yeah, cuz then you just slop out for two hours straight I slopped out just chopped cheese wings pizza felt like absolute shit, dude. I was just in such a bad spot I've been eating a lot healthier because I've realized that just everything that I eat that I enjoy just destroys me Now it's just fucking grilled chicken and rice And that's not sustainable either. Yeah, just you just gotta get a lot of different hot sauces and it becomes sustainable when I was in I'm gonna use the white truff today instead of the black truff the hot sauces are like it's almost like a base level shitty gifts yeah like to get someone like a suite of hot sauces oh no it's great I would love that but right

now it's like I want I'm about to like ask for that for Christmas I have like 30 different types of hot sauce at my apartment. Give me the one in the grenade. Oh, I don't have that one to bomb I need to bomb to bomb apparently to pair apparently to bomb is the hottest hot sauce on hot ones by like a mile really and People say it doesn't even taste good They say it's just like a chemical combination or like a chemical concoction of just stuff that just makes your mouth like bleed. Yeah You'd be like your poop is black for days on end because apparently like blood in your stool

Yeah, apparently the last dab is not even that hot but apparently it's pretty good Really? Yeah You'll be on there someday. You'll be able to tell us from first-hand experience. hell no. I'll never do that. Why I have not good I like hot stuff, but not to that point Like I put hot sauce on everything I eat Frank's I put that shit on everything Sponsor the fucking pod Frank. I actually don't really use Frank's. I'm more of a Cholula man Sponsor the fucking pod Cholula if we got a Cholula man. Sponsor the fucking pod, Cholula. If we got a Cholula sponsorship, that would be so sick.

If we got to go to Cholula, Cholula is like a district. Really? It's like a neighborhood, or not like a neighborhood. Where is it? Mexico. It's on the east coast of Mexico. Tabasco and Cholula are both areas. Really? By the Yucatan, I believe.

Tabasco I like, but Tabasco is a very, it's like only on specific things. Seafood? How the fuck did Tabasco get the shelf space that it has like every restaurant is like Ketchup or hot sauce and they'll slap Tabasco in front of you. It's like how the fuck is Tabasco that it's not first off It's not even hot sauce and second of all it's everywhere. What is it? It's like a I don't know. It doesn't have the spice that regular hot sauce. It's like a vinegary base. Yeah, it's a different type of hot sauce. But it's, dude, on eggs. Tabasco on some sunny-side up eggs. Yeah.

Phenomenal. Tabasco on some, like, oysters. Phenomenal. Cholula you can literally put on anything. You're gonna make me fuck up and not 22-hour fast today, bro. This shit is sounding good. I got, like, Icelandic hot sauce. I went, I got, like, a whole... When you came back. I got a fleet of hot sauces from Iceland. I got Icelandic hot sauce. I got a whole... When you came back? I got a fleet of hot sauces from Iceland. I bought them in Iceland. Yeah, through the duty free or you bought them there?

No, I bought them at a coffee shop. They sold them and I picked up a five pack. Are they good? Yeah, they're good. They're not as hot as I expected them to be. Because their bitch asses don't have fucking. Yeah, they're they're like, the whole thing was that they're like, they're made with like, what is the heat like, like, like geothermic? What is it? I don't know what the word is. Yeah, like lava. They're made with like lava. Yeah, they're not. They don't have like, like rye bread is spicy. them. Yeah, yeah, they're not that hot. The habanero one's a little spicy.

In Japan, they don't have like spice at all either. Like I was like asked for like a spicy drink. They just don't, I don't think they tolerate spice well as like a species. Yeah, I mean, I guess if you don't tolerate it, then you'll never have it. I came back with some booze from Iceland is what I brought back.

Really? Some pink gin. Because they got the fucking, they got the. Brenovan. Yeah. That's what I brought, pink gin and Brenovan. They have the, in Iceland they have the liquor store in the airport.

Like that massive store. Did you guys go there when you landed? Well we went as we were coming back. Oh really, we went there as soon as we landed. Yeah. We picked up like a ton of whiskey and beer. What whiskey are they drinking? I don't know. I'm not a big whiskey guy. Actually I can tell you right now, I have a photo of myself drinking it.

Yeah, run that shit back bro. I wanna fucking find that shit. I wanna know. I'm usually a gin and tonic guy in the summertime, but I haven't really hit the gin hard this summer. This was called the famous grouse. Ah, the famous grouse. She was good. Iceland, I feel like, is underrepresented in the Olympics.

You watch any opening ceremonies? No, I didn't watch the opening ceremonies. I did watch the basketball and the women's soccer. The men's basketball yesterday? Phenomenal. LeBron is a hero. He's a national hero him and Kevin Durant Yeah, but your boy Jason Tatum couldn't get off the fucking bench. Yeah, I mean, I don't think that was that crazy Why he's a national champion and he was on the last Olympic team because they have LeBron Steph Curry and KD running like a historic

like the Curry and KD running like a historic, Jason Tatum doesn't fit in the lineup. But those are three dudes. There's room for five starters. They could honestly do 3 v 5 and they would still win. Yeah. They're so good. I don't know, it sounds like a coat, bro. It sounds like, you know.

And then I watched the interview with the coach and he said that Jason Tatum's gonna play. But they had Derrick White playing, they had Drew Holliday playing, they had the other Celtics playing, but they didn't have the final MVP. Drew Holliday playing and Jason had the other Celtics playing, but they didn't have the final MVP. Drew Holliday playing and Jason Tatum playing, was pretty crazy, not playing was pretty crazy.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So it is crazy. Jason Tatum's good at basketball, I don't know why, why do people hate him so much? Cause he's a champ. Yeah, but like is that how, like I guess, I know people hate LeBron.

Yeah, the more you win, the more people hate you. But like people hate Jason Tatum. I know. I popped the champagne bottle when he didn't get it. Yeah, people despise him. Yeah, because he's the best player on the championship team. Because he's aural-less? That's what they say about him.

They say he has no aura. Yeah, and because people hate the Light Skin Brothers. Yeah. They think our Light Skin Brothers are sensitive. Because his dad's white, they hate him. Is his dad white? He can't be no what his mom Not what?

They're both light-skinned. I think if you're too light-skinned people have a baby you come out white All right, no you have a quarter chance of coming out white. His dad's not even light skinned. No, his mom. His mom is, okay, that makes sense. She must be bright skinned. She's bright skinned, yeah. Find his mom. This is the podcast you come to for the fucking...

For loose information? For loose information about racial... Wait, no, no, why is he lighter than both of them? Yeah, he's way lighter than both of them, which I don't know if we're allowed to comment on. No. Good for them. Great family. You just said it. Powerful family. What do you mean we're not allowed to comment on them? I was just doing the math, bro. No, it's like blue eyes. It's like you have a quarter, you have like a 25% chance of getting blue eyes. Yeah, I don't know.

I'm a big Jason Tatum guy. I think he's good. And why did you, I mean, yeah, fair enough. Well, what did I say about him? You were calling him gay. No I wasn't. Oh, I said people call him orless. Yeah, you said he, no, no, you said why do people not like him because he's orless?

Because he lacks aura. You said, yeah, you're saying it definitively. You didn't put it in someone else's. I don't think he does though lack aura. Yeah, I mean he just steals Everybody else's so does do that Do that the Kevin Garnett the Kevin Garnett thing was pretty insane. He just doesn't know how to be him. We did it It was a pretty bad celebration too. Like, we did it was the best he could come up with.

Yeah. He just studied game tape of celebrations. Yeah, I didn't like that. That's your guy. I like him though. People are hating on MB too. The Barstool main account is hating on MB. The Barstool main account hates on anything that anyone else is hating on. They don't have opinions for themselves.

Are we calling it oralist? Yeah, the Barstool main account is oralist. They need to start getting their own opinions. That's how we would get our engagement up is they start throwing out some hot takes. Right. Like throw out a photo of Jason Tatum and his family and go, why is he lighter than his parents? That would really, that would stir things up on Twitter.

That would really, that would stir things up on Twitter. JD Vance would be like, see, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Fucking ML football would be tweeting about it. Oh my god, what was the other thing you said you watched? The other Olympic women's gymnastics? Women's soccer, but I barely, I loosely watched it. That's hard to watch. I had a bet for LeBron to score over 18 and a half points

and women's US team to win. What did LeBron wind up with? 18. 21. Oh he did? Oh nice. He was at 18 and then he clocked out and then he came back in for like two minutes in the fourth quarter and scored like five more points.

Yeah, they're like anyone but Jason Tate. Yeah. That would have been perfect Jason Tate of minutes. Yeah, dude, they kept kept LeBron kept subbing out and then coming back in. Yeah. And they were like, he doesn't want to go out. They're saying that Steve Kerr was just trying to play like the worst Celtics just to like sow dissent in the Celtics locker room. I just so they all hate each other. No, I think he's trying to like trying to like build a fire within Jason Tatum

So he comes out and drops 40. Yeah. Yeah Jason Tatum's like Michael Jordan was cut from his JV He's rewatching the last day in Paris right now Do that photo of LeBron leading the charge on the boat with the flag was so sick. That got me so fired up. It did? For what?

Dude, it was awesome. The side by side of George Washington on the Delaware and LeBron leading the charge in the rain. Jason Tatum wearing a poncho was so brutal. It's like he's asking. He's asking for it. He's asking for the oralist allegations. Yeah.

Why the fuck is he wearing a poncho? Because he's oralist. He's going to go back to his hotel in 10 minutes and change out of the fucking polo suit anyway. Exactly. Then the polo suit's probably waterproof. It probably slicks water. Oh, exactly. They all dress like a question.

Dude, that's such a sick photo. That guy is so badass. It's a cool picture, but like, it wouldn't even get me fired up. It literally looks like they're crossing an oat, like they're crossing like a fucking choppy ass, like the Pacific. It looks like they're on a 30 mile an hour oil tanker. Yeah.

With that one it inspired an emotion. Like LeBron might have been steering the ship. That photo is unreal. Just his foot up on the front. The Olympics are awesome. It does suck how much fucking bullshit is in the Olympics though. Why? There are some sports in the Olympics that you're like what even is this? Did you see they have red zone for the Olympics? No. It's awesome. I know YouTube TV had like the I

was watching at one point the quad box but my TV's not big enough to do. I got to upgrade. Oh shit I gotta write that down. I gotta buy a new TV. Yeah, write that down. So I'll write this down. Everyone spam the comments. Remind Sass. Actually, that's a good idea. Spam the comments and say that, I'll remember to do it.

Yeah, cause he'll definitely be reading all the comments. So I get the comments on my phone and then like every now and then I'll just get one that'll be like, Sass is fucking retarded. Write that down. Oh. It sucks, dude. Like you and Francis will get like a nasty comment.

You have to seek it out. It just pops up on my phone while I'm in the middle of doing something. Cause I'm logged into our account. About to go on the stage. Yeah. Dude, and it's always the weirdest ones that get that like upset me.

Like I got one last night that was like, it's hilarious how little sass knows about football like crushed me. I like, I had to like swipe out of the YouTube app and put my phone down after reading that. Can you turn off noties? Now you need to get the notice not on YouTube studio brother I mean the only thing you can do is use that fuel for your fire. I try my best dude We just got to get a film session going. That's why you need a new fucking new TV You need like a drop-down projector so you could just watch tape. I know I what what size TV do you have you have like it? And a hundred inch. Yeah the hundred. Yeah, you have like a full wall of TV. I know I mean most people at Barstool will have five TVs. Yeah

Why two? No, no like bang bang bang bang. We had we had two at our old apartment Yeah, dude's got like a second one mounted next to the first one people see big cat having it and they're like it's necessary Yeah, I'm not gonna be big cat. I'm gonna need five TVs. I'm not gonna do that That's insane, but I do want to get a bigger TV so that I can watch Multiple boxes at once and not have to like stand next to the TV to see them this telescoping in think I have like 65 inch no way

75 yeah Because I have a sick I have a 55 inch I kind of want to upgrade mine I think I could use you could go for a bigger you're you have the room to get like an 80 inch easily Yeah, I don't even want I don't want bigger. I just want better pixels. Why would you not go bigger? There's literally zero downside to getting a bigger TV if you can fit the TV I'm obsessed with TV height too. Yeah. Like that drives me crazy.

Why? Cause it's so high up. It's so fucking high. That's like the size of my TV. I mean, it's a little smaller. Mine's a little bigger than that. Yeah, yeah. Art TV too high.

It's one of my faves. And I think it's like sweeping the nation. Really? TV too high? I haven't seen it. Really? Yeah. You can't, I mean mean TV should be at eye level

Naturally if you have to train your shit like that. I've been on this strictly just fishing reddit r slash fishing r slash trout fishing r slash live fishing r slash decks. Yeah r slash decks I get r slash deck sometimes it comes across my desk. I haven't seen it in a while. I just mute all of my recommendations I'm at a point where like I only want to see what I follow stop recommending me videos of people dying I haven't seen it in a while. I just mute all of my recommendations. I'm at a point where I only wanna see what I follow. Stop recommending me videos of people dying. I don't wanna see that. On Reddit you're getting it?

Oh dude, I got one this morning. I literally got a video, I'm taking a shit this morning. I get a video of a dude talking to a girl and then another girl just comes over and just stabs him in the neck. And the thing was, Reddit was just the thing was the, uh, right. It was just like R slash sad. I was like, why would I ever want to see that?

I mean, whenever even R slash morbid reality comes out blurred. Yeah. This was not blurred. Really? And then all the comments were like, what, what was this? And they're like, I'm assuming he just got killed. Pretty sad stuff. Yeah.

And everyone was like fuck. Instant mute dude. Yeah I get too many like uh like r slash self and it's just like someone being like oh those are the most depressing ones like r slash like roast me like or like our side self and someone's just like my My wife said my my breath stinks. So she's gonna divorce me. Yeah, it's all weird My wife doesn't like the kind of socks that I wear Should I am I the asshole or like my wife's cheating on me because she thought that my socks didn't match. Yeah Yeah, it's all the the that shit Annoyed the fuck out of. The am I the asshole ones? My wife killed our three kids and was cheating with seven other dudes. Am I the asshole? What? Yeah, shut up. And I can't. Yeah, you're the asshole. I can't imagine

people. I can't imagine people confiding in Reddit like that. Like valuing the opinion of their Reddit community to the point where they're like, fuck dude, I have no one to talk to about this except for the 400,000 people who subscribe to rslashself. But it's just, they're just looking for someone to be like, no, you're a hero. You're the best.

You're the best person ever. Don't worry about it. All the loves, you're a hero. You're the best. You're the best person ever. Don't worry about it. Yeah. All the loves you're feeling big feelings right now. Yeah. Why don't you head on over to r slash big feelings and talk to them? Did you see that? So Reddit went public in like May or something like that. And so they're trying to get like revenue streams. So they sold their entire basically everywhere that's ever been written on Reddit to Google. So Google now has AI. Oh yeah.

So they're training their AI through all the information that's ever been typed on Reddit back to 2009 when it was just like shitposting. But now since Google has all that information, it's like, how much cheese are you supposed to, or like, how do you make the cheese stay on your pizza? And people will just be like, glue. Yeah. It's had a real thing. Yeah. Really?

So when you type it into Google, it just comes up with like, how much cheese. That's hilarious. I've never seen that. I actually, dude, I like the Google AI thing. People hate it. I like it. But so Reddit's like fucking it up because people are like,

how many rocks should I eat a day? Yeah, yeah. You're like, eat one rock a day. There's minerals and vitamins in rocks. That's hilarious. I haven't seen that. I've, that actually makes me concerned because I've been

getting a lot of information from Google AI. Well, it's just like dickheads posting on Reddit and Google and AI don't have the filter to... Yeah, they don't know what sarcasm is. They probably just take the number one answer and just like what I do, you take the number one answer and then you just pawn it off as a fact someone who's like hilarious and now has also fooled generations worth of people It's funny. It's kind of like Wikipedia though. Like people change the answers to Wikipedia Yeah, but they can kind of like straighten that out

They filter that out pretty quick like will AI ever be able to understand humor or like sarcasm and shit like that No, never you don't? I think you because humor advances fast. Like, like people sense of humor is constantly changing. Yeah, so AI would be able to like they could understand like, George Carlin's humor. You think your job is safe is what you're saying? Oh, yeah, definitely. It'll be the last one to be replaced. Yeah, you will not replace us. Yeah, I'm an essential worker, a bunch of comedians and with tiki torches marching against reddit

marching against AI You will not replace us Dude I went back and I on Saturday. I rewatched Sebastian Maniscalco's old specials You're trying to learn about like comedians other than the three that you know? Kind of, I was at the stand and we were all just talking about Sebastian and everyone was doing impressions of Sebastian

and then I went home and I rewatched Aren't You Embarrassed, it's so funny. He is very impressionable. He is the goat. His new special is awful. But his old shit is so good. That reminds me of the fucking Burt Kreischer clip that's going around where he's like one of the fucking comedians I respected was making fun of me on his show and Joe Rogan hit me up and he was like he doesn't respect you man

Joe Rogan is gonna be calling fucking Sebastian being like hey little sass is talking shit about you on his podcast Oh, I wasn't talking shit. He doesn't respect you. You just said his new special sucked dick. Yeah, it did. But his old specials. That's talking shit. But I have faith that he'll put out another good one. There you go. There you go.

That's how I feel about Bill Burr. That his new special sucked? I didn't like his new special, but I know he's going to put out a new one. He just recorded one in Portland or somewhere, maybe, I don't know, Seattle. Which Portland, because that's very telling of what his comedy's gonna be like.

Yeah, true. He might be going full lib. Fuck. No, but I know, like, he'll put out another one that's, like, unbelievable. Is the original, is the Sebastian special that you're talking about is the one where he's like, I don't wanna be the problem?

Where he's like, no matter what, like, he doesn't, like, complain about anything because he just doesn't wanna be the problem? That's, like, every one of his specials, but I think He has his last one that he just put out is called am I the problem? Or is it me maybe maybe that's what it's called I don't know. I don't know if I watched the last one the best my favorite ones were I rewatched all of them

Except the new one I stopped like five minutes in because it had a 33% on Rotten Tomatoes. Dude, if they haven't been on Legion of Scanics, I'm not fucking watching. Yeah. No, but the best one was Aren't You Embarrassed? That's the one where he's wearing like the pink sweater. And then Stay Hungry is pretty funny.

And then what was the other one? That one where he's wearing like the white, he's wearing like a tuxedo shirt Dude if the comedian isn't fucking wearing all leather and saying the F slur. I'm not watching true If it's not Eddie Murphy before he was banging Transsexual folk. Yeah, I ain't watching. Have you ever watched a Tim Heidecker's special? Yeah, so funny. Yeah, where he's like doing like a state like a character of stand-up comedians. It's so funny. Yeah. Where he's like doing like a like a character of stand up comedians. It was pretty funny. It's pretty good. It was I had to like fast forward

through some parts of it. Yeah, it's kind of uncomfortable. Some of the parts are uncomfortable. Or just like you get you just kind of get where he's going. Oh yeah. But I thought it was very funny though. What's the the Sebastian Sebastian's bit where he's talking about being in a plane crash and how they dropped the oxygen masks down and he's like, I would hang myself from the oxygen mask. And then he's saying that with his luck that right before they hit the ground, the pilot would regain control of the plane and then he'd just be dangling from the oxygen mask for the rest of the flight. The people next to him were like, can we get him down? He's like bumping into me That's fucking hilarious

Yeah, the one Tim Heidecker thing that I did like was or not the one I mean, I love a lot of his shit, but the the club random shit where he makes fun of Bill Maher Oh, yeah, so fucking funny. It's so good. Did you see the Hawk Tuah girl was just on Bill Maher? No, I went in Texas about it last night though. Bro, she's like hitting every, she was just on Whitney Cummings podcast. Yeah. She was just on Bill Maher.

I thought it was like a joke. I thought someone had like spliced together two clips when I saw Bill Maher interviewing her. Yeah, I don't know. What the fuck is this? I still haven't even watched the original video. How is that possible? Because every time I see something about her,

I scroll, take me back to r slash fly fishing, get me out of this. Take me back to r slash sad. Yeah. I'm like so- What is this? She's not a pedophile and she didn't die in the video? Why is this on my feed?

Well, I'm waiting for her to die. Waiting for someone to stab her. I'm like so attuned to the death videos that like I'll recognize the specific death. I'm like, oh, I've waiting for her to die. I'm waiting for someone to stab her. I'm so attuned to the death videos that I'll recognize the specific death. I'm like, oh, I've seen this death before. Let me get out of here. When the mom and daughter are crossing the street, I think it's after a Drake concert,

and they're about to get smoked by a car. I've seen that video. But I haven't seen that one. They just pour it down your throat. You'll search Drake, and it'll come up. That'll be the main thing. Someone dies after after Drake concert. It's like, what the fuck?

Yeah, I get porn when I search shit like that. Like I'll search like, like if I searched like Hawk to a girl on Twitter, it would just be like 700 videos being like, I'm the real Hawk to a girl. And just some girl like sucking off 10 dudes in one video And you'd be like, oh, that's good. Have the for you have the porn bots gone away on Twitter Not for me

Yeah, I Don't know. I saw people saying that they did Maybe it was just for a brief moment in time. They'll come back stronger. Yeah, they're regrouping Yeah, yeah, they gotta hit their, they're throwing some new shit on the board. So we got, we gotta come at this at a whole different angle. It's like that scene in the Sandlot. Where they build the robot and it gets destroyed and like, we're thinking about this all wrong. We're gonna come charging back. Oh man, what a fucking future we live in.

I went fishing on Friday against my will. That's not true. You've been planning this fishing trip for a minute. I was and then I found out, I looked up the fishing report at like the river that I was gonna go to. I was gonna hit some new water,, some new hitting some new stuff and Great feeling I looked it up and orvis does fishing reports for a lot of the places in New Jersey and it said water temperature 74 degrees and then it said

Fishing report see you in the fall Bruh what broke me so the fish are basically cooking themselves in the water Yeah,, and apparently if you catch trout, trout are fucking like so, like, there's so much shit you gotta do to like make sure a trout stays alive. Like you have to like wet your hands before you touch them, or else if you, like bass, you could take a bass, you could smash it against a fucking rock and throw it back into the water

and it would swim away completely fine. Trout, I know, seriously, I'm serious. I know from experience. Trout, trout seriously, I'm serious. I know from experience. Trout, if you touch them with dry hands, it removes their coating of slime, which is their immune system. So if you touch them with dry hands, they'll go back, they'll swim away fine and then they'll die

within like the next day, because they'll get a bunch of diseases. So you might as well eat and kill them. If you're not handling them the proper way, yeah. You can't lip trout. Like, you know how when you grab it, when you catch a bass, you hold them by the lip? I thought you said lick. Lip.

Like, you know how when you catch a trout, like you know like Brandon always posts those photos and he's holding the trout and he's holding it by the lip? Yeah. If you do that to a trout, it'll, their jaw will just, will just come off of their body. So Brandon's just killing the trout for no reason? No, Brandon doesn't catch trout, he catches bass. Oh, got it, got it. If you catch trout when the water is above 68 degrees,

they're very stressed, and then when you catch them, it stresses them out even more, and then you release them and they die immediately. The fuck are these woke-ass trout, bro? I know, it sucks. This trophy generation of trout, dude. You can't catch a stressed trout. Exactly, so I was gonna go go and then I called my friend Bo

and I was like, is that bad to go if it's that hot? And he was like, if you know about it, like he's like, if you didn't know and you went, it wouldn't be a big deal, because it's like, you didn't know. So you had to pretend you didn't know? No, so I knew and then I was like, all right, and then I was like, well, I guess I'll cancel this car.

Couldn't get any money back. And then I was like, well, I guess I'll cancel this car. Couldn't get any money back. And then I was like, well, maybe I'll move it to tomorrow and see if I can find like a spot further away that like in the Catskills or something that the water's still cold. And then it was gonna be 300 extra dollars to move it a day. So you just got the car to joyride around with it? So I got the car and I went to like an hour away,

like upstate and I went fishing in a lake. You were in Westchester, bro. Yeah, pretty much, and I caught bluegill, which are sunfish, and they're like this big. Really? Just like I woke up at 5 a.m. to go catch fucking three-inch fish. Did it satisfy like the animalistic instinct in you

that you caught and provided provided not even a little bit it was fun catching those but It was like I can't I wanted to catch bass and then the bass were nowhere to be found Would you ever go spearfishing? Yeah, definitely. That would be so fun. That would be super sick Just underwater tracking a fish. Yeah. Fucking. That would be awesome. That would feel so fun. So it's not just the it's not just dropping line and pulling something up that you like. You like the hunt of fish. No I would rather go like fly fishing but I would go spearfishing. Bro did you see that video

that either Barstool Outdoors or Sydney Wells put out this weekend of them basically they all have like, what do they have, like fucking bows? They shoot something in the water, it like starts circling around their boat. Sydney does a lot of bow fishing. Of fish? Yeah.

That shit is insane. Yeah, I think that's like her thing. Like she does, like when we were in Virginia the whole time she was like, I should have brought my bow. Yeah? Do they feel pain? That one has to feel the most. Oh I'm sure they die. That one has to feel the most amount of pain. I think you have to do it I think you have to keep the fish after you shoot them in the head with a bow. I don't think it's like a catching a leaf. Alright put it back out there.

Yeah when you shoot through its brain it actually loses its nervous system and gets a little bit anxious. So you can't... I was, I saw a video of two kids fishing in Central Park. It was like not, not super viral, but like there was a big crowd around them and a woman was like being like, why are you doing that? Like some upper west side like, bitch was just, just giving him a hard time. Like we do it for the sport. Yeah. Catching and releasing. And she's like, well, isn't the fish like going to get hurt? And they're like, well, you can like.

The fish doesn't have any nerves in its mouth or whatever. So when we put the hook through their mouths, like they're not really feeling anything. And we're like doing catch and release. And she was like, oh, OK. It's like. You probably eat fish like, what do you mean? Does the fish get hurt like unless this woman's like a staunch vegetarian Who get like yeah not who gives a fuck but like You're you're killing and eating meat for sustenance. Yeah, almost definitely. Yeah There's my new fish really have no nerves in their mouth? I don't know, maybe these fucking dickheads

were just saying it. Yeah, because they react like they definitely do. I know. When you hook them and they start jumping out of the water and flailing around. But maybe it's just the pressure of the line pulling them in that they're like- Maybe it's just like getting your hair held

and you can't move when someone's holding onto your hair. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, maybe. I don't fucking know. I got to get out and fish some more. Yeah, it's very interesting. I'm pretty pumped.

I was talking to Sydney this morning about we're doing that show next year. What are you going to call it? I have no idea. She was throwing out a bunch of names. I was like, I'm not a name guy. Yeah. I'm not the name man.

What were some of the names she was throwing out? Maybe we can help find a name for it. I don't even remember. She had one and then she said she looked it up and there was like eight other shows with that name. The Bassmaster. The Masturbator. It's going to be pretty sick though.

It's going to be able to go fishing like five times next year at like cool ass spots. Yeah. Travel for fishing. Yeah. That'll be so fucking sick. Gonna have to stop doing standup. For fishing? Yeah. Would you? Cancel sick. Gonna have to stop doing standup. For fishing? Yeah.

Cancel the tour? Would you? This is gonna ruin the tour? If you could go pro on one or the other, what would you go pro on? Well. Standup. Yeah, I guess.

I don't know. I mean, it's like anything else, like a hobby. Like, I like fishing. Yeah, standups are a hobby. I'm sure if fishing became my job, I would be like, this sucks. Another day at the fish factory. Yeah, I gotta go fishing again.

This fucking blows. Just being in like North Alaska by a fishing boat. Yeah. It's like falling through the deck. Freezing, yeah. Just wet for four months at a time. You're just pulling up fish and just throwing them into the boat.

You're gonna repeat. Like there's no, they don't really fish like, like when, I think commercial fishermen, they're not fishing like for the joy at, like it's not like they're like, oh, it'll be really cool to get this one on a top water fly. Getting out today. Nothing like getting out, living the fucking dreams.

They're throwing fucking massive hooks and just ripping a fish into the boat. Yeah, it's not even like hooks. They're like, it's nets. And they're just like, going through and like throwing out the fucking dolphins and the fucking sturgeons that they're catching. Exactly, sturgeons would be sick.

Sturgeons would be incredible. Sturgeons are horrifying. Yeah, there's a lot of scary shit in the ocean. Yeah. Much less the ocean itself. Yeah, sturgeons, fucking, they're so big. Swordfish. I don't even know what I would do if I hooked into one of those things I just cut the line

Really you do you go? I'm not dealing with that get the fuck out of here those videos of people like catching sharks on the on The beach and they're like eight hours into this one and they're still reeling it in and their friends like feeding them water It's like dude that would blow. Yeah, that sounds so awful reeling up like a Two pound fish from yeah 40 feet sucks Yeah, I mean for my bitch ass do when we went when we fish in Virginia when they they hooked into like the big Cobia that we caught they were like you're like you want to get it you want to get a turn reeling it in I was like Absolutely not you want to do the heavy? Yeah it in? I was like, absolutely not. You want to do the heavy lifting?

Yeah, I was like, I didn't catch that fish. I'm not fucking reeling it in for 30 minutes. Just for the joy. Hand him the rod. That's such little boy activity, getting handed a rod that somebody else just fucking. The cutthroat trout that I caught in Wyoming took me like five minutes to reel in

because it was so, it fought so hard. And I was, even after that, I was like my fucking arm was was burning cutthroat trout is such a sick name yeah those fish are cool so fucking badass yeah they fight like hell too they give you hell did you win your bet yesterday with the lebron shit yeah fuck yeah made 30 dollars i'm a micro better yeah i just put in a bet when we were sitting here i put in or not when we were sitting out at our desks, I put in a $5 bet. That's my thing.

I'm trying to build back the bank before football comes around. That's what I'm doing too. Did you watch like coming home weekend or whatever it was called? No, what's that? Like welcome back. What's that?

There was like a whole thing this weekend where it was like they interview, like they go around to a bunch of different teams practices and it's all live on NFL Network Yeah, no, but I've been following everything. I did a fantasy draft yesterday just to keep fresh Yeah, when it went in when is the actual draft? It's not till like right before the season starts I mean, it's whenever Jeff D Lowe once you got to hit up D. Lowe You got to hit up Jeff pre Preseason starts Thursday. I know what should we do? Popcorn and beer? Bears, Texans. Do you think any of those guys will

play? Like do you think Caleb Williams will play? Maybe. I mean if he's a rookie he wants to get his first taste of NFL action. I hope he does. Roma Dunze? Shroud won't play. Shroud won't play. Diggs won't play. Diggs'm gonna do. I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants

I'm gonna go with the Giants. I'm gonna go with the Giants's gonna stick is thinking that the Giants are gonna be good I don't think the Giants are gonna be good. I think that he's their only good player. So he's gonna get volume Target share that's what I'm talking about It's and lad mcconkey gonna be the number one receiver for the Chargers cuz they got rid of all their receivers Picked him up late and then Brock Bowers on the tight end from the Raiders you like any of those none. I don't fuck And I know you know football. I know ball, but I don't think like the Raiders are going to be awful. The Giants are going to be awful. You want winning teams on your fantasy team.

I thought I just want I want the best option on the team. Who are you going for defense? It was my last round pick. What'd you get? It's like fucking the Dolphins or some shit. New D coordinator from the Ravens. I saw that. I'm going Patriots.

Patriots have a Super Bowl defense. You might not be able to get them though bro. Why? Because they're going to get picked so high. No one's picking the Patriots defense. They'll probably be like a first round pick. No, no shot. Or like first three rounds. even close big time. They'll be like

17th round when you're just on auto draft. I got a second overall pick. Who would you take second overall? Well, it depends on who's available everybody except for Christian McCaffrey Patrick Mahomes what yeah I'm playing dumb as fuck. I'm playing a win That's you could get Patrick Mahomes in the third round win. You could get Patrick Mahomes in the third round. Who the fuck has taken Patrick Mahomes in the third round? How many people are in this draft? It was a 10 team league.

10 team league and Patrick Mahomes is available in the second round? Dude, most leagues don't have the precedence, don't have the stress on quarterback play, like the one we played in with Jeff D'Lo. I took Tyree Hill second overall. Who'd you take first? No, no.

Christian McCaffrey was the first pick. I had second overall. Oh, you took Tyreek? Yeah. You hate it? They suggested I take CD Lam. No, bro. Don't say that.

I would have gone CD Lam over Tyreek. Really? Tyreek's good, but I don't know. He's old. He's like 30. Well, I don't like the Cowboys, and CD Lamb is holding out right now. First contract? Yeah. Yeah that team's a mess. I know. Dax still hasn't signed. Breaks my fucking heart bro. Jordan Love signed for a fucking $220 million contract. He got $220. Fleece. Dude robbed the Packers. I saw the comments to Trevor Lawrence, robbed the fucking Trevor Lawrence actually robbed the Jags. That's great. Trevor Lawrence is not good. Yeah.

I mean, Jordan Love makes more sense than Trevor Lawrence to me, but he was number one overall pick. What are you going to do? You think you have your guy? I would have given Mac Jones 100 million before I gave Trevor Lawrence fucking 200 million. They had some drill where they were trying to knock out the ball and Trevor Lawrence, like can't stop fumbling. And then they did the drill.

He fumbled and then Mack Jones hits the drill. Does a flip, doesn't fumble. Of course. Jones legend. Mack Jones is going to start by week three. We need to have him as third chair. And we should have Mack Jones on the pod. Whenever Francis is out, we need to have Jones on.

I'm sure Mack Jones does not get a lot of offers for podcasts. And I think we could actually get him on. I'll wear my jersey. I'm saying third chair though. Third chair, oh you wanna get him all, like as a member on the bar. I want him on the logo.

Yeah. You guys could talk rap. Mac Jones. You know he's a rapper. Of course, his name's Mac. Yeah. Mac Miller, Mac Mall, Mac Jones. Malcolm.

Malcolm Jones. Malcolm Jones. Mac X. Catherine Zeta Jones. Sneaks beneath the lasers. Sne Jones. Mac X. Catherine Zeta Jones. Sneaks beneath the lasers. She sneaks beneath the lasers. Helms for you, because I know you love Workaholics. Of course.

I know you love those good brothers over there. Classic. Those comedically inclined good brothers. Jaws. I got some fucking pop punk shows this weekend. Oh really, where at? Columbus and then Nashville. Columbus, I'm gonna be in Cincinnati.

Perfect. Different cities. Yeah, but Ohio. Way different cities. They both start with the C. Holy shit. That'll be cool. There might be some tickets left if people want to come through to that. That's good. I'm gonna be in Cincinnati. There's definitely tickets left. Not might be. There's absolutely tickets left. I think they said for the pop punk shows that they're like, yeah, the all American rejects might come through. So like, learn some of their songs in case like they want to play with you. It's like, dude, I'm pretty sure the all American rejects aren't going to play with us. I think they said that, uh, uh, all time low might come through too. So they're like, do you learn a dear Maria so you can sing with all-time low if the drummer wants to come on stage They might dude. That's like a big big band thing to do

Yeah, but I'm out on stage for the lower band and be like look how much they look look how they like us way more Than you guys. Yeah, look they're going crazy. You hear that pop that we just got it's like when Shane Gillis Shane open for me Yeah, he shows and it was like look how much bigger of a pop your opener got than you did right? There's like Shane went up Destroy like I was like you're not gonna do like the good stuff right and he went up He just did all of his bet he did like his best joke special Yeah, before it came out before it came out. He did his bet. He did the

he did the the Danny the The Down syndrome real cheese bit, the Navy Seal bit, and the George Washington bit. Why the fuck, I thought he was hopping on your show to try shit out. It was like three of the best bits of all time. I thought he was coming to try shit out. He just wanted to get an ego boost.

I don't know. He just wanted to be in front of his home crowd and do his best material while it was its freshest. It was fucking crazy. Right before he was about to come out, just so they would love the shit out of him. I was like, I don't know how much of a crossover there is between my fans and his fans.

And then he brought them up out and it was people, oh! And I thought people like kind of knew that he was gonna be there. And they did. They probably thought it was gonna be like me. Yeah. Like yeah, I guess it's all right.

That was so crazy. And then I remember I went out on the first one and I was like, I made a joke, I was like, it's pretty hard to follow that and it got like a big pop and then I got off stage and Shane was like, don't say that. He's like, don't even acknowledge it. And then I went out and just bombed the next show

if I didn't acknowledge it. He got your ass good. Classic bro. Better times man. Miss those days. That's how it's going to be this weekend when I'm like. That was back when I was popping. I got your picture.

I'm calling with you. Dear Maria, count me in. Oh man, I got hit this weekend at the stand. I got hit with an older comic. I think I might have told you this happened. The same dude, same thing. How long you been doing comedy? And I tell him, he goes,

go get, why don't you go give me a cup of coffee? And then Derek Drescher was like, you need to lie. He's like, why are you saying that you've only, I was like, oh, four years, which I don't even think is even true. I think it's been like three years. And he was like, you gotta be saying, like say 10 years. I was like, dude, I'm 23.

It's like at a certain point, it's not gonna add up. If I'm like, oh yeah, 15 actually, just moved here from LA. And he's gonna be like, where'd you do your basic training? Stand? Upstairs room? Yeah, belly room.

Yeah, they're gonna get to the bottom of it. Who was it? Oh, I refuse to say. Josh Ademeyer's? No. Alright, well, this is a pretty solid sewed. Ended the pod early. I don't think so. I think we're out. Let me guess, hour 15?

Yeah. Mental clock. Mental clock, bro. Damn, well I wanted to keep going, but I guess we can end it. You're talking about bringing in fucking clocks, like alarms to set it off when we're done. So I can do- Guy like me, I just know.

Yeah, well, cause you wanna end it early. You wanna get out of here as soon as possible. Hour 15, that's like you, I think they pay you like $30,000 every minute we go over. Why would they do that, bro? It's like when you do MSG and you have to pay like a million dollars every minute we go over Why do they do that bro? It's like when you do MSG and you have to pay like a million dollars every minute you go after curfew Yeah, that's for you. I got a curfew. You have that same contract. I got a hard hour curfew Just kidding bro. Don't even fucking joke about that. What kind of man self-deprecates

Anyways, that's what Orson Welles said about Woody Allen Really? Did you see that? He's like what type of man will be self-deprecating in his humor Maybe love Orson Welles cuz I am NOT a Woody Allen fan. Why? I just hate his style of humor Well, that was like the the secondary reason. Yeah, but I just I'm telling you dude He's like whining bigger than we think style of humor Well blink blink like I can't believe everything's going wrong for me. I've never watched a Woody Allen.

Anything I like got tricked into watching Midnight in Paris because I like Midnight in Paris. Yeah, that's just I meant like his stand up sucks because Woody Allen used to stand up, right? Probably. I think he did. He's probably like, don't you hate when the ingredients fall out of your sandwich My pickle was small today

Like oh wow, I can't believe that happened to you. What do you own midnight in Paris was a good movie It was kind of bizarre though And then Woody Allen just like writes is like he'll just like be like standing in line for the DMV and like the hottest girl ever will come up to him his nephew his niece is what is he like dating like his like stepdaughter or something his daughter his daughter yeah yeah classic woody he adopted his daughter and then started dating her. Power move. You said coward or power? Such a power play. Such a legendary move.

I'm telling you, bro, the pedophiles, it's bigger. Makes you wanna go to an adoption agency right now. It's bigger than we think. Big time. All right. I'm dating my Asian daughter. All right, I'm gonna be in Cincinnati this weekend at Go Bananas, I think.

I think that's the name of the club. Go Bananas, tickets at littlesasquatchwebsite.com. Please come and see me. We will see you, go see Ron at Pupunk. Yes. Go see Ron at Pupunk. Columbus, come to Pupunk. At Pupunk.

And come to Nashville. Yeah, come to Nashville. We have people, yeah, people are following us all over the country like groupies. Yeah, punk heads, poppers. That's what they call your fans, poppers. Now we take poppers before the show just to get our assholes loose.

Nice. Just so we can shit on these bitches. All right, we'll see you guys on Thursday, goodbye. Thanks for watching!