Son of a Boy Dad - Matches vs. Lighters | Son of a Boy Dad #230

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Matches vs. Lighters | Son of a Boy Dad #230 -- Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is September 3rd. We are live from HQ3. We are late on the episode because yesterday was Labor Day and we're good Americans and we don't work on Labor Day. Respecting our union brothers and sisters. Exactly. And the men and women who work. Exactly. And the trans folk that work. And the trans folk that work and the trans folk that work and the black folk that work Okay, we're supporting everyone that purple folk that were actually I don't care if you're black blue purple orange

We support that you're working. That's a fact, but I feel like I haven't seen you boys in a while I know I haven't seen you guys in forever. I haven't seen you fucking fucks in forever So good to be back. It's crazy that people didn't realize that we banked episodes since May. Yeah. Summer off. We look completely different.

What if Sass came in with a grizzled beard? I've been in Wyoming for the last three months. Yeah, just starting a militia. Just arming the good people of Cheyenne. I was looking into that whole Idaho situation in Northern Idaho, have you ever read about that? Oh, the top of Idaho? Yeah.

Where it's exclusively Nazis. Yeah, it's all Nazis. And it's like more than you even think. Yeah. It's more than you expect. Well, it's like, apparently it's like the politicians are Nazis too. Wow.

It's crazy. It's super respectable I was looking into it because I wanted to go fishing in Idaho They got a beautiful salmon hatch out there in the spring and I was just begging to get out there But as a Jew, you know, that's gonna be tough for me Yeah You'd have to join the Aryan Brotherhood Someone commented on my don't tell and they said is this kid a trust fund baby or a Jew?

I replied and I said both. The perfect crossover. Just kidding I didn't reply. But your don't tell shit went incredible. Yeah it did well. I was happy with it. It was pretty majority positive feedback. And it got fucking incredible amounts of views.

Yeah, it did okay. The only one with better pace of views was that old fuck. Yeah, he's killer. There was an old woman on mine who blew up as well. Yeah, there's a lady that went right before me who her TikToks are getting like 5 million likes per clip. The one joke that that old guy had was like the average life expectancy for men is 77 and 78 but the average life expectancy for women's 81 so I'm thinking if I transition Pretty funny, that's a pretty fucking good joke. Yeah, his ex has like over a million views Yeah, that's the key, get some life experience.

I know. I gotta keep doing this shit for 60 more years to get a million. Or just make yourself look old. Yeah, true. Which you are definitely on the hunt for that. Yeah, you're doing it. Yeah, it was good.

I was happy. It's definitely weighed off my shoulders getting something out, so it's like I'm not, you know? It's great. It's was good. I was happy. I it's definitely weight off my shoulders getting something out. So it's like I'm not Yeah, it's great. It's really good. I was happy with it It was pretty much all good feedback. There were some nasty comments that brought me down pretty hard Well, like what specifically? The stuff about my posture doesn't bother me at all It's like yeah, I have bad posture. It's like, I don't give a shit. Yeah. Your shades like a parenthesis.

What am I going to do? Like people are like, oh, be as bad. It's also, it's weird because all the people that say, like all the bad comments are people that are my fans. How do you know that though? Cause I click on their profile and it says, follow back. And they're the ones that are like, delivery sucks. And then you go on the YouTube and people are like,

unbelievable delivery. And I'm like, oh, I don't really know what to think. Do you think that your name is Adam because you have posture like you got a rib removed? Yeah. You know what I mean? Biblical, something biblical for you. Very biblical.

Something biblical, a little touch of biblical. Yeah, that pleases the ass, he's 332. You already know what the fuck it is. But I was pretty proud of Ces to be honest. So was I. I was happy for him and prideful to be involved with him. It is weird to work on jokes for like four years. I was talking to Francis.

To work on jokes for like four years straight and then all the comments just be about your posture. But that's better than your jokes. Yeah, I also think if you clean up your posture, they'll find another thing. Yeah. It's not going to just be about the jokes and stuff. Yeah, exactly.

I have to say, forgive my voice, it's a little horse. You got after it? Drinking. The pictures that you sent us were a damn balkanall. I've been drinking to a point where I'm ready to join SAS. I'm drunk right now. In sobriety. Really?

Because I was drunk then. I was drunk then. Drunk right now. I'm drunk right now. Drunk right now. What's going on? Has it been fun or it's just the... I'm ready to shut it down, man.

Well, summer just ended. Yeah, everyone says that. You get... The year hasn't ended. Huh? It's not over... I'm ready to shut it down, man. Well, summer just ended. Yeah, everyone says that. You get Labor Day. Like, it hasn't ended. It's not over though, right? It's September 22nd? I don't know, the weather would say otherwise. It's cool. It's a little brisk.

Today it happened like... I went full fall with my outfit. Oh yeah, I could tell. Down to the socks. Show off your socks. Boots. Let's see the socks. The socks are striped.

Say, brother, how much did you drop on those socks? Probably like $3. Really? They look like $25 socks. I was going to say those are a $30 pair. I don't spend much on socks. Are those smart wool? I don't know.

They're just probably like Banana Republic bin socks. Dude, that's the way to go. These Hanes, 20 pack, these Hanes 20 pack eight bucks 20 pairs of so that's one where a little tiny thread comes loose and somehow Turn into floss somehow your shirts coming on It is great you literally pull one string then the entire sock just yeah, they're all connected The entire sock just starts unravelling. Yeah, they're all connected. Just baggy around your ankles.

But it's like, dude, Nike socks are like, it's like $30 for like two pairs of socks. Nike socks are like your thumbprint. Every single one of them is a little bit different. Oh yeah. So you can't pair them up. It's impossible. It's like someone's eye or like the nose of a dog.

I'm a fan of the darn tufts. They're pretty expensive for basic socks, but they never break down,s. They're pretty expensive for basic socks, but they never break down. Yeah, they're great. I don't know if I'm familiar with you'd actually really like the darn They make a good, you know hiking or I love socks like that to wear. That's like 90% of my socks are smart wool Yes, smart walls is a very similar Type product to smart wall. If I see a pair ofWall at a store, I'm instantly picking them up. Well, speaking of, I was in Morocco in the Adidas. Oh yeah, let's get the fuck into it.

And they had a store that was selling sneakers that were fakes. Yeah. And I thought to myself, I should see if I can get Sass a pair of the white Adidas Sambas that you so desperately wanted in Cleveland. Yes. And I walked in and these guys are relentless, man. If you weave in so much as raise an eyebrow

or peek their way, they're on you like glue. Yeah. So I go in and I said, you have the white Sambas. And he goes, yes, my friend. Yes, my friend. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Come, come, come, come. And he starts showing me and I found the right pair, but I said, do you have a size US men's four? That's my friend's foot. And he was like, I'm sorry, four? Do you have a size that could fit at the bottom of a stilt?

Yeah, yeah, like if you had a pet hog that you wanted to put four little miniature sort of like... Your friend has peng leg? Like what you'd imagine if you had an ornament shoe for your Christmas tree, that size. I want two of those. No, I said I needed nine. I need a men's US nine. And he pulls a pair out from a box and it was listed as a US 7.5. And I was like, well, that's not going to work. I need a nine. He goes, all the sizes are wrong on the tags here. Look. And then he pulled out like a shoe that was double the size yeah and it said that that was like an eight and a half that's crazy and it would have been too big for me yeah and I you know I have much bigger feet than yeah so normal size human feet well I do I mean minor in proportion to my height and body whereas sass's feet were dipped in some sort of... They were wrapped like a Chinese...

They literally just stopped growing. When I hit 13, I peaked at feet size at 13. I've literally been a size 9 since I was 13 years old. It makes me wonder, because remember when they talked about how if you started lifting weights when you were a kid, it would stunt your growth? Did you just do a lot of like toe curls or some sort of like... I was just always on my feet. Were you wearing those ankle weights around? Yeah, it was because you were weighing tables.

I was running around doing full steps. Yeah, because I did track when I was young. That's why. Well, all jokes aside. So then he pulled up this next size up that was way, it was, it was bigger and it was like the size was completely off. And I said, well, my friend is somewhat particular about the shoes that he puts on his feet and I can't get him the wrong size. And he goes, trust me, these are nine.

Yeah. And I was like, there's no way that, you know, there's no system here. Yeah. Cause then he pulled out another pair that said it was like a size 14 and they were even smaller and I was like, dude, there's no rhyme or reason to these tags. Obviously I know it's fake, but you know, I need to know that it's the right size for my friend.

These are not for me. And he was like, do you have a picture of your friend's feet? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would you probably, like the last podcast

you were on the end, like we probably could have zoomed in. He was just gonna eyeball it. What? He was just gonna eyeball it. I? He was just gonna eyeball it. I don't know what he was gonna do. He was desperate to sell me the shoes. That's hilarious. So I gave up and I had to walk out and he was,

I mean, he was fully chasing me with little sambas on his hands. Being like, come back, come back. I have the right, I have the right size. We make the size for you. We make them fresh. You take six. Fake sambas is hilarious too So what's that? I said fake Sambas these shoes are like $80 That was my point. I made up my mind that if I were to buy you a gift, I would just get you the right real Sambas and

What are the fake ones $70? We should by the way, we should do that together We should get him a pair of the white chain on it do a joint gift. Yeah, I mean I'm growing into the black ones I know people don't like them like a lot of people have been hitting me up being like those suck I hate you, but I actually don't hate these. Are you serious? Yeah, boy. Am I glad I didn't buy you the whites No, I would definitely wear the whites. We gotta get him the whites. We should get him the whites. Let's just throw those on a fucking like power line. And that's good. That's good.

Just make them the fucking every time Amy Schumer steals a sass joke, we throw another pair of his shoes. Yes, they got the oh, that's another problem, dude, is that all of our fans comment and they're like Schumer did this bit. And then people that aren't people that don't listen to every single episode of our podcast are probably like Damn, this guy's stealing jokes from Amy Schumer It's just fuck. It fucks me. No Fucking bit is engagement. It's engagement. That's what the mean girls taught us that as long as people are commenting

Yeah, even if they're commenting the meanest thing most hateful nastiest things Was there anything else that was like particularly hurtful that people said? No, nothing really crazy. I mean it was like the standard There'd be like a handful of people that be like you suck I hate you and then I'd look at their account and they're just like their names like stoolie Rob or something like that It was all it's all just barstool people that are still gas. Yeah It's all just barstool people. Barstool guys. Yeah.

What the fuck guys? Yeah. But also, I mean, like in, in also all a lot of the people that listened to our podcast and also Yak fans and stuff really liked it and were very nice about it. So well, congratulations. Hopefully it skyrockets ticket sales and is the perfect appetizer to Francis's hour long special. You know, when is that coming out?

Don't know. Don't know. We should have packaged ours together. That's a good idea. Yeah, like I opened, but it's like a completely different backdrop. We should have just mushed them together. Yeah.

Yeah, the Fran Squatch special. Damn, how was that? Tell us more about your trip, man. I find Morocco so intoxicating, the idea of it so foreign. Were you at Bazaar's? Did you sit on a rug? Did you have beans? I did.

I bought some rugs. I bought some rugs and then I was, yeah, in the Medina, in the Souk. I don't really know what... Medina means the old city. There's like this old walled city in Marrakesh, which is where all the craziness is. And it's long cat, kind of tunnel-y walkways that are covered with so many stalls selling the same shit, you know, trinkets and light fixtures and rugs, lots of rugs, and then fake bullshit.

I bought a bunch of fake white stuff from Prada, Hermes, all that stuff for this golf tournament that I played in on Fishers Island this past weekend. Isn't that like the most exclusive golf course in America? It's one of them. Really? It's up there, it's top tenor. You're just basing that off of the text message

that Francis sent to us. Yes. He told us that. Did I? Yes. I said it's a really exclusive place. Yeah. You said it was like the best golf tournament or some shit. Our best course. It's one of the best courses. I mean, it's amazing course. And then one day a year, they just make it into this...

They make it into this sort of circus type thing with lots of... The picture you sent was like the Infield of the Preakness like people just yeah shit face all the women were dressed up as Santa's helpers It was amazing I almost feel weird talking about it. I think there's like an air of secrecy about it So I won't be me and Grove You guys sacrifice a poor person about it. So Bohemian Grove. Yeah, I'm not going to get too many. Do you guys sacrifice a poor person? You just drive a golf ball into the fucking chest of a poor person?

It is on an island and the only way to get there is via one of those old wooden ships that has slaves rowing it. And you use your nine iron to whip them against the current. Not even African slaves though. White slaves. Criminals. White slaves who couldn't pay their debt. Shoplifters from Walmart who shoplifted an excess of $2,500. The riff raff.

Yeah. The forgotten. Damn. Flea-bitten hordes. That sounds like a fucking blast. It was really fun. I mean the picture you had, the twinkle in your eye of somebody who is having

as much fun as a human can have. That was really good. That was the twinkle in the eye of somebody who is having as much fun as a human can have. That was really good. That was the twinkle that I have a man who's on ecstasy. And a lot of it. None of that had to be, I had to put that in my past. He had a candy necklace with little ecstasy pills on it and half of them were bitten off like Cheerios. I couldn't use my hands to eat it and I would take a little bite of the top half with my

teeth and then clamp down and shoot the other half in someone else's mouth, which meant we were gonna fuck. Yeah, exactly. But... A lot of boys were fucked that day. We were Michael Rubin's white party, my team. Everyone goes in costume. And so we were Michael Rubin's white party.

That's why I was wearing all that fake white shit. Amazing. But by the time you had taken the picture, that shirt was no more. Yeah, they told me to take it off. So I'm one of the holes. Ellis tarps off. Tarps off.

We was tarps off all weekend. We went full college. I mean, we really did. It was awesome. Just playing a lot of beer pong at night. And I don't know, it was super fun. I haven't done something like that in a while. It felt good.

I'm happy for you. That sounds like a fucking blast. But I'm very hollow now. Well, you're just dipping into the reserves of fun. You're just borrowing fun from tomorrow. Yeah, at some point I'm going to run out though. You just build it up during the week. That's true. I guess I should.

Just eat some broccoli and fucking artichokes or something. Right. Right. Sweat and then you'll be ready for some fun again. I'll be fine. I went to Amsterdam. That seemed like such a fucking sick trip. Amsterdam is like, I can't speak highly enough of the place. As everyone says when they go there. It's just a city in order. Yeah. It's just a place that has their fucking act together in every single way. And then I didn't see a single homeless person the whole time. They kill them.

They throw them in the canals. Yeah. Like bicycles. Yeah. I've heard that the nastiest part about Amsterdam is the fact that you'll step off the curb and almost get smoked by a 30 mile an hour biker who's coming from a way you don't expect. Bikers run the city. You are on edge walking when you are walking along because you have to constantly be looking in every direction. There are very few cars.

I mean, truly very few cars. At one point I took an Uber because I had to go do a show and it was kind of far away. And when I say that this route that the guy had to take to get me there, it looked like he was scribbling a child's drawing on a map. Yeah. It was like up, left, down, back, this way, because they're all one ways.

Yeah. You can't. So the bikers run the town, but dude, they're not like, the bicyclists aren't douchebags. It's hot women in going out at night. And nobody wears a bike helmet. Not a single person wears a bike helmet. Nobody's in biking attire at all. All the bikes are commuter bikes.

They at least roll up their jeans? No. Not even one leg? No. They're all commuter bikes that are sort of old, antique-y metal bikes that are the classic Dutch style people have started buying ebikes and Do they hate it? Well a lot of the ebikes get stolen So people when they go sit at a cafe they chain their bike up and then they remove the motor

Thing and they bring that and they hold it in their hand while they have a drink interesting That's a lot. That's it's a pretty flat there? Like are people, are they breaking sweats? I feel like it'd be shitty to do. It's easy to cruise around. When you come up to the- It's actually downhill everywhere. It's the perfect country. They've got it all figured out. Socialized medicine and downhill everywhere. That's it. That's it. All, it all funnels down into a basin. The hot ass school boys that you posted on your story were something else. Good looking boys. Saw some good looking boys. I really wanted to crash that party, but they didn't have it the next night. It was only that night. I should have known better.

Explain the picture to the people that didn't see your story. It's like rush week for the fraternities of the universities that are there. And the frats are all in town homes along the canals. Damn. It seems as if, at least where I was staying, everybody has a house that's on the canal. So I don't know that that's a more expensive piece of real estate necessarily. And when I say that, I mean, it's the most beautiful city I've ever been to. Well, it's one of like the cleanest cities in the world. It's really clean. And then at night, I mean, it was pretty crammed with tourists during the day, but at night, it's silent and empty, at least where I was. And the canals light up, there's houseboats

that have beautiful lights, the lamps are all the same style and they kind of bend around and the water reflects off the canal water, the light reflects off the water and it feels like something out of time. And it was so beautiful and so peaceful. Did you weep? Well, I just walked everywhere and would find myself stopping and staring at the water

and being reflective and it was great. That was the best part of it for me. I wanna know about two things. How long were you there? I was there Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, three nights, three days, three nights. I wanna know about two things. I wanna know about the weed market there

and I wanna know about the hookers. I had a bad experience with the weed market. No, no, no, come on. I forgot that you did a show there. Yeah, I did. And shout out to all the people who came out. I don't know, it was like 40, 45 people, not a ton, but it was awesome. Pretty solid for Amsterdam. Yeah, it was like 40, 45 people, not a ton, but it was awesome.

Pretty solid for Amsterdam. Yeah, it was great. Shows were great. I can't sell 45 tickets in like some major cities in the US. I mean, it was kind of a last minute thing. I didn't promote it that much. And it was in a funky part of town,

that kind of the Brooklyn of Amsterdam, you have to take a water taxi over, which by the way was free and you ride your bike onto the boat and then it goes and everybody just wait it's you know a three-minute ride and then you get off on the other side and you ride your bike right off. It's free for everyone. It's insane how little we get from our taxes in the United States and we just pay so much and like fucking nothing is free. Yeah. That's just so nice. So that was really fun and...

You said you had a bad experience at the weed market? Well yeah, one night I went into one of the coffee shops. They have this, you know, they're all called coffee shops, but they also have literal coffee shops. There's a huge coffee culture there. So it's very hard on Google Maps to differentiate what's selling weed and what's selling espresso. And I had a vision, a delusion that the weed coffee shops

in Amsterdam would be basically like these high end figure mixology cocktail bars that you have in New York where you can sit in a leather chair like an opium den. And smoke a joint and play backgammon or like sit at a counter and talk to a bud tender or whatever the fuck. And that it was like a different culture

and that it would be really cool and leisurely and upscale and classy. That was not what I found. The weed shops that I found over and over again were kinda fuckin' trashy. They were places that were called like, you know, space room with neon lights and like, you know, they all sell like milkshakes.

Yeah. Do they sell like Korean like Lay's chips and shit? Yeah. It was just trash. And it's like they're playing kind of like techno music. Like shrimp flavored chips. Yeah. You know, it was, it was like a bar that you'd find in Miami that's catering to young people, tourists.

I don't know, like Five Shots for $1, that kind of thing. That was the coffee shops that I by and large found. A few had loungeier areas, but they weren't, I don't know, it wasn't a place that I would have wanted to hang out. Yeah. And you have to smoke the weed there? Yeah, allegedly. I couldn't figure that out. I mean, people, what I learned is that the culture of people who smoke weed in Amsterdam, they buy their weed and then they go back to their home. And then they smoke it there.

There. Not many people actually like stay out. It's just sort of a touristy trap. And I got into a little bit of a tiff with one of the weed places. One of the Bud Tenders? I was walking back. I went to an amazing restaurant called De Cass, which is, by the way, everything there seems to be like plant based or plant forward. So you were in heaven. Well, no, not really. I don't like Vegetarian and vegan menus restaurants really no to like that as an appetizer He doesn't like that as a as a man. I like healthy food, but I need protein. I like fish and meat I really do. Yeah. Also when I go out to a restaurant, I want that because you know, I can make myself a fucking salad. Yeah

I go out to a restaurant, I want that, because I can make myself a fucking salad. Yeah. So I went, but that place was pretty sick. And then I walked home from there, which was like a, you just walk everywhere. It's 45 minute walk, it's awesome. And I stopped in a neighborhood called DePipe. And what was the name of the restaurant?

DeCasse. And you went to DePipe from DeCasse? Yep. And DePipe is sort of like a Williamsburg-y type neighborhood. Yeah. These bitches trying to get DePipe. DePipe. Yeah.

It was a red light district. It's such a funny name. I spelled D-E space P-I-J-P. Oh, DePageux. DePageux. And I walked into one of the coffee shops that had high markings, and this was my first time going into one, and I was the only guy in there, and I went up to the guy, and I said, hey, I'd like a pre-roll.

Yeah. And he goes, do you want one? I can't do a Dutch accent. Fuck it, try it. Try it. Do you want one with the tobacco? Just do Indian, if you can't figure it out. Or just the pure weed?

And I was like, oh, just weed, thanks. And he goes, all right, we only have two options then. It's either the Sativa or the Indica. And I was like, well, what's sort of the top shelf weed? What's the best quality? He was like, that's the one from the California weed here and it's the indica. And I was like, oh, your best weed is from California. And he goes, do you want it or not?

And I was like, I'm sorry. Yeah, I guess I'll take it. And he goes, okay. And he sells me the joint. And then I was like, by the way, do you have any matches? And he goes, matches? In America, do they give you matches every time you buy the weed?

And I was like, in some places, yeah, I guess. And he goes, well, then I might as well plant the whole tree to replace the matches. What? And I go, wait, what? And he goes, you buy a lighter, it's better. And I go, you're telling me you think environmentally that one box of matches is better

than an entire like plastic lighter that will end up in landfill and never decompose. Yeah. And, and I started like arguing with this guy a little bit about the environmental implications for how I was going to light my joint. Yeah. And they were giving me shit. And then there was a guy behind me who had come in, a Dutch kid who was like now chiming in about the matches issue.

What was he saying? He was like, I can't believe that everywhere in America they have matches. And I was like, well, you got, you go to a restaurant, they'll have like a souvenir box that you can bring home. And I actually have a bowl of matches that I collect, which I really like. It's like a little token from everywhere I've been. I love matches. I also, someone told me, oh, he goes, it's better for the smoke when you light with the lighter. And I was like, no, it's actually not. I've really been told that the butane from a lighter

Yeah, it's bad. sort of makes the first few drags taste worse. And that striking a match and lighting it up that way is, I don't know, who knows if that's fucking true, but I'm arguing with this kid. I'm fighting a two front war against the Dutch, which is ironic because they just got run over by the fucking Nazis anyway.

And I finally like took my thing and walked out, but I was pissed. I was kind of pissed off. And what I learned, or this was my guess, which was kind of confirmed, because I talked about it on stage when I did the show. Amsterdam and Holland in general were the place to go for weed for decades before, when the rest of the world had it as an illegal drug. And it was spoken of as this sort of like

mythical place that was the leader of weed and progressive thought and, oh, you go to, you can smoke legal weed and answer. I remember growing up thinking like, holy shit, what a, what a crazy like unicorn city that you can go there and smoke in these coffee shops. And then what happened is weed became legal everywhere. And not only that, but America, And not only that, but America, you know, California made way better weed. Yeah. And so all the tourists that for years would go to Amsterdam and go into these coffee shops and be like, wow, weed? Yeah.

Like, what should I get? And they'd be like, you should try this, try this, whatever. Now those people that walk in are like, I'd like a Sativa dominant hybrid grown outdoors with like a 21% THC content. And by the way, like, can you tell me the terpene count? May I look at it under a microscope? And then they're like, listen, we don't fucking have that. And they're like, wait, what?

You know, cause we're used to that. You go to any bud shop in fucking Colorado, California, Maine, Massachusetts. That's what you do. There's a menu with 40 different strains, 400 different edibles. There's wax and all this shatter and all this crazy stuff. And we just totally surpassed Holland in our weedology. So all these tourists now have gone from being blown away by the novelty to running the show, arrogantly maybe. And the Dutch coffee people are pissed off about it. They're haughty. Yeah. I'm told it is kind of crazy to go to Amsterdam and then their best weed is California weed.

Exactly. It's insane. And it was like, I didn't want to buy a California joint in Amsterdam, but the only other options they had were Spliffs. Yeah. And I don't like smoking tobacco-laced joints. So, you know, look, I get it. I was a little bit falling into that trope of being like

the, wait, what, you know, kind of the entitled American about weed, I guess. But I guess I would say like the last six-ish years of the pendulum swinging towards us being more weed people in America than they are, having a different culture has made these guys a little defensive. And that's what I encountered. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what other like industries are like that, where they used to just dominate in one area and now like it's completely globalized and everybody has access to it Like I guess like Detroit with like cars or some shit like that

Like you try to be like I want a fucking forward or some shit like that It's like you can get a fucking Mercedes. You can get a billion different cars all over the place super interesting But I guess I mean that I guess it's like going like a the best wine is from wherever like France or whatever yeah, but all that's changing now too because all those legendary producers in France are there they're having horrific yields of grapes because it's too hot so wine production is moving north and Weirdly like England is now becoming a leader of sparkling wine, obviously not champagne, but a champagne equivalent. You know, they're going to become that. And then like Oregon, and that's why Oregon and Washington are becoming Pinot producers.

I heard by 2100 that you're going to be able to grow oranges in Pennsylvania. Is that right? I heard that. Wow. Yeah, I heard. You all said there was going to be flying cars in the next year? I said in 10 years. And I said that you're gonna,

I didn't say cars, I didn't call them cars. They're not gonna be cars. They're gonna be flying vehicles. Floors. And as soon as I said that, there were like links to 60 minutes reports, Washington Journal articles. I'm not though, this isn't something-

You see that article, someone just reposted that article that said, I remember when it came out, it was a it was like super viral on Twitter. And it said that women are going to be having sex with more robots than men by 2025. And someone just quote tweeted it and was like, counting down the days. I mean, do vibrators count? I mean do vibrators count? I don't know, in the picture it's a lady with her head resting on a robot. Like on his chest? Like a man's chest of a robot. Like smoking a cigarette after a robot just pleased the fuck out of her.

How was that for you? That's crazy. The idea of you bickering with not only the owner of the shop or the guy working at the shop, but then customers is like, like a line coming in behind you. It sucks, like a curb your enthusiasm. Yeah. So funny. Yeah. Oh, I mean, to top it all off, I explained again, I was, when I walked in, I was the only person, it was late, it was probably 9pm.

9 PM. And I was the only person in there. It was a Thursday night. And when I walked in, they had actually, in this place, they had a lounge area with the leather chairs that I was sort of looking for. The front part of the store was shitty, but the back had this nice roped off area. And I say, truly, roped off. There was a red rope with two stands separating it. And I said to the guy, I go, can I be honest? And this was before things got testy. I said, is there, am I allowed to go back there? And he goes, no, that's just for the owner. And I said, I mean, there must've been 40 seats back there. 40 places to sit. And I said, what do you mean?

Like, just for him? And he goes, yeah, he built that as part of the store for when he wants to come here and hang out with his friends, but no one else. It's the Brandon Walker smoking lounge. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Literally, yeah. And I said, that's funny.

I mean, I had this vision that a lot of these coffee shops would have an area like that where you could sit and enjoy your joint and do that, but I haven't found that. And he was like, yeah, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. It's so funny that you had so much conversation with this guy. I know. Yeah. Yeah. I was trying to learn and trying

to just ask like, you know, questions, fact finding questions in a respectful way. Did he have a retort to the plastic comment? Because like, where does he think the plastic goes? Yeah, you know, that I said the plastic comment, and then the guy behind me was the one who then responded to that by saying, well, it's better for the smoke. Like you'll take the smoke. It'll be better smoke with the lighter.

And I was like, no, it won't. Shut the fuck up, pothead. Shut the fuck up, burner. As this is happening, that guy is buying just the tiniest amount in a tiny little bag, like a whatever $5 bag of weed. Yeah. And they're transacting while they're both arguing with me. Yeah, that's crazy. And then and I was like, Yeah, I thought there'd be a place where you could go and like, you know, have have you ever been to some food and stuff like that. And he goes, and then

he finally was like, you should try this place. You go, you can have milkshake. you could have pizza. Oh, they want, they sent you to an American place. And I was like, I don't want, I don't want a milkshake or pizza. Yeah. You can have French fries and hamburger fat ass. Yeah, exactly. It's like greasy, microwaved pub food that you would eat like a stoned nine year old. I'm like, dude, I don't want my, I don't want to recreate my first experience smoking weed.

I have achieved a level of discernment with marijuana. There's parents upstairs, they'll yell at you. Yeah, how about a fucking like enterprising jazz duo might be playing behind me while I, I don't know. It sounds like you were looking for more of like a Starbucks reserve type thing. Yes. Yeah.

I was looking, not even that, I was looking for a local kind of coffee shop type place that sold weed. Yeah. Or like a hookah lounge. I imagined it, in my head, I always pictured it to be like a coffee, like literally like a Starbucks reserve

that had like massive vents everywhere to like remove the weed smoke and everyone was just smoking weed Oh, it's it's wooden tables with wooden chairs that are uncomfortable and people are sitting there Chain smoking joints and there's like loud Housey music playing. Yeah, and then like the fucking bud tenders are behind bulletproof glass For criminals. Oh, so it's literally just like a bodega. It's like a boat. It's a little closer to a bodega

than it is to a fucking coffee shop. No. The only thing people steal are electric bike motors. And people are just smashing the bike motors into the bulletproof glass. Yeah. That said, I did smoke the joint, the California joint, it was very good weed. I'm sure. I sat on a park bench overlooking the canal

and it was lovely and walking around that city gently stoned was a sublime experience. And my impression of the Dutch is 10 out of 10. As a people, they are not as icy and standoffish as the Scandinavians, but they sort of... And so there's like, they're warmer than that, but they have the same like upright drive and togetherness that the Scandinavians had. It's a little bit, I would call it a cross between like Norway, Germany and England in a way. Geographically that's pretty spot on. Yeah, right. I mean that's obvious. They're handsome, they're good looking people, they dress well, the bike thing is fucking awesome. I rented a bike for my hotel for the day,

it was like 20 euros. And I had it all day long and I rented a bike for my hotel for the day. It was like 20 euros. And I had it all day long and I had the best time just bombing around the city and biking, going to little shops, looking at things. I went to the Rijksmuseum and saw the Dutch masters, Rembrandt, Vermeer. Wait, Dutch masters? I saw Rembrandt's Night Watch, which is this giant,

it's his greatest painting. It's the size of that fucking wall. It's huge. For some reason, people are always attacking it. It's gotta be protesters, so they were doing a little bit of a repair, which, whatever, there was some scaffolding around it, but I still got the idea.

The Vermeers are unbelievable. I did not make it to the Van Gogh Museum, which I regret. I'll have to go back. Oh yeah, that's a good one. You said the one museum, though, you were like, I just feel like it's just the same thing. It's all just running together.

That looked like a museum of just like 12 by 12 paintings and chairs. That was the Rijksmuseum. It was too big. I don't like seeing chairs in museums. No. Like that shit does not fucking scratch my itch. But they did have old weapons that were used

during the time of the Dutch East India Company, which is, as you guys probably know, is the first publicly traded company in the world. Of course. Of course. And was the reason that the Dutch ran the world economy. The Dutch currency was the global reserve currency for many years until it was overtaken by? The pound.

That's right. British Pound. Control of the seas was always kind of what dictated, I think, whoever. Well, they fucking, they colonized the fuck, I mean, New Amsterdam. Isn't there a neighborhood there? Isn't like the original Harlem there? I wouldn't have seen that.

I was gonna stay away from a place like that. I thought the Harlem there was like- Going to answer and be like, what's like Harlem around here? Where's your bad neighborhood? No, they have a neighborhood called Harlem. I think Harlem is like a Dutch word. Probably too late. It's probably H-A-R-L-A-A-M.

Yeah. Harlem. Yeah. The Harlem. It sounds awesome. It sounds like a blast. I just think like from a sensory perception or perspective rather. The the scene, the light, the architecture, I don't know, not to get too fucking long winded, which I have, of course, but I've been enjoying.

I've been enjoying it. I feel like I'm transported there. It really surprised me. I've I've thought it would be a little bit like going when you go to, say, a European city and after a couple of days, you're like, everything kind of looks the same. That was not the case. The canals to me were... I could have looked at them all fucking different. That stuff looks...

I've always wanted to see that. Plus the temperature was amazing. It was so comfortable there. It's cool, you know, sort of Northern Europe. And then it didn't really rain. And they do say that it rains like 70% of the days there. Oh really? You didn't, you missed it?

I didn't have, I had one shower. I sat at a cafe and got to know a bunch of Dutch people, talked to them for a while, just drank a bottle of wine by myself, which was pretty fun. Back to the canal. Cool shit. What did they ask you? What did you tell them about yourself? How much does Big Cat make? How long are Harry's balls really? No, yeah, they were just, I don't know, just friendly, outgoing, warm and everything. You told them you were there for comedy? Yep.

That's fucking sick. That probably contextualized you in a cool way for them. You looked at place with all of them. You looked like you belonged. Oh, that was another fun thing is that everybody would address me in Dutch and I would then say, I'm sorry, hi, how's it going? And they were so unbelieving that I was not Dutch that they would then respond again in Dutch and I would have to put my foot down and say English.

Sorry, I only speak English. English. But they all speak perfect English. Yeah, of course they do. Perfect English. That's such a compliment when you go to another country and they think you're local. Yes, it happens to me in Holland.

It happens to me in Scandinavia, England, Germany, not France, Definitely not France. Even though that's probably where you want it the most. Well, the irony there is that I then respond in French. And they're like, oh shit. And then they go, all right, dude, cut the shit. It's very funny. Talking to you in English.

Fucking TikTok pranks. What was better, Morocco or Amsterdam? You also have something, oh it fell off, you had something on your nose dangling. And I didn't watch. Like a bugger? No, it was like a hair that wasn't yours. Oh, funky.

Some pussy hair. You eatin' pussy? Yeah, red light districts. Eating some boar pussy all morning. I would say that for me, my experience in Amsterdam was better because I've been in Morocco before and Morocco... Kind of old news.

What? Kind of old news. Yeah. Just they've said it, they say it's changed a lot. It has from the first time I went. It now is much more glamorous. Woke. Yeah. They went woke over there.

Bottom lip. Yeah. It's not, it's they're all talking about how safe it is. And I don't know. Just didn't seem it's been built up more like Richard Branson has a hotel there now. Cristiano Ronaldo built one. Are they awesome?

I bet the hotels there are fucking. The hotel I stayed in was fucking sick. It was awesome. Show me a picture of your room. I will, once we're done. Yes. It was like a riad. Oh, God. Considered a call to town home.

Oh, fuck yeah. I had my own personal plunge pool. Oh, God. Really, really great. Oh, my God. I also will say that the call to prayer, which emanates from loudspeakers and mosques around the city every day at the same times is beautiful.

It's kind of this lilting, haunting thing that just shuts everyone down and they kind of take a break and go pray. They're Muslim? Whole country. Did you make salat? Did you pray to Mecca? I didn't. Felt like that would have been the wrong thing to do. Hey guys, let's take a second to talk about Game Time and specifically, let's talk about Game Time picks. You know what Game Time picks is? It is the next level. They are making it even easier to get into the

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New game time picks, what time is it? Game time. Game time. Game time. Let's get back to this freaking show. But everybody does it, everybody. Can't hurt, get involved. They like, when the guys running their shops will get someone else to like man the shop for a few minutes.

And while they go to the mosque and pray and then they come back and then that guy goes. So everybody shifts. Yeah. And they do it five times a day. I mean, I can't even. A lot of steps. I don't steps I don't know how they stay so slender a lot of bowing down that's why I have that lower back so loose perfect yeah no posture problems on those guys I know just a constant stretch you should join Muslim before your next don't tell say I know join Muslim all right so that's my that's my travel stories that's fun sounds awesome if you have any more bless us with them

I know I'm jealous sounds sick. No, it was a good trip You know, I didn't I will say they just straight to Montauk. No Fishers Island Fishers Island yeah, I got home flew home and then I Said I where's the booze at? Where's the next part? I went to bed and woke up the morning and bounced right out to Fishers Island for a golf tournament. You probably had stories for those boys. Where's the motherfucking booze at? Yeah.

I need a bottle of booze. Motherfucking Grey Goose baby! What were you drinking out there? Wine? Everything. Bud Light? It was a ton of Bud Light. You were?

Yeah. Not even Heineken? No. Oh wait, where? In Amsterdam? Yeah, not in fucking Fisher's Island. In Amsterdam, I drank some Heineken's, also just like a lot of Negronis. You drank any, what are they, 1642s? What are those beers?

Cronenbergs? Is that what they're called? Yeah, those are French though, or Belgian. I what they're called yeah those are French though or Belgian I think that French I got a headman France. They're very good. Yeah, they also just sell Cronenberg. That sounds German as hell Yeah, actually okay nerd Berg you probably fucking drink them cuz it ends in Berg you Jew No, I I drank them that was the first legal beer I ever got.

I had a McDonald's at the, in France at the fucking museum. What's it called? The Louvre. The Louvre. I had it at the Louvre at the McDonald's. And I went to the bathroom and I chugged it because I was in school. Really? Yeah, we were in a field trip. I was 17, 16, 17. Wow, that's ballsy. It was awesome. Kids at our school did that in high school and

they got caught. We didn't get caught. We suspended. We did go to a bar. We had like an hour of free time and we went to a bar right next to the Louvre and there was a dude there who had, who apparently was from the same town as us and he bought us all around. It was funny though because it was like we're in France and we're all just drinking like Miller Lite and Corona. And some weirdos furnishing. At the time he probably seemed like the man but now it's like why are you buying those six-year-olds?

He bought it for us when he was leaving because he saw one of our buddies had the sweatshirt. Oh, of their town? Yeah. That's pretty sweet. Yeah. I bet you had a very nice buzz from that bathroom beer. Oh, hammered. You start pissing on a fucking mom, do you say?

That's like, when you're that young, like two beers, you're fucking blacked out. Yeah, it's amazing. It's such a nice feeling. Just getting that tolerance down. Francis probably needs to drink a keg and he's just fine right now. Oh yeah, right now.

Yeah, we're gonna shut it down. We're gonna shut it down. Francis has one of those gag wine glasses that you buy at a party store. What, where like your game- It's like a gallon big. Like one of those ones that moms post on Facebook and they're like, just having one glass of wine today.

Yeah, it's five o'clock somewhere. The doctor says one glass of wine will go for your heart actually. That's Francis every night. Just a punch bowl. Dinner is served. I haven't been up to dick all. You went camping, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, but that was like one day I haven't done shit, dude I went fishing I caught two trout in the morning and then I caught 30 smallmouth bass. Oh

Smallness yeah, but that's not what I wanted to catch but it was still fun. It was it was good and You got any pictures Yeah, but it's not really anything that's gonna interest you. I have one more story. Okay. Feel free, I don't have a lot. He hasn't been doing dick call. I haven't been doing dick call, just been playing Black Ops 6 and doing new jokes at the stand.

I was- And bombing. I was in the pool at the Moroccan hotel and I was doing some breath holding stuff. You know me. Yeah. I try to do as many lengths underwater as I can. And at the other end of the pool, I noticed that there were two handsome Arab guys, young guys, also doing the same thing. And so I sort of swam over to them and struck up a conversation. I said, what are you

guys up to? And they were like, well, we're training for spearfishing season. Ooh. And I was like, whoa, so you do it without oxygen? Like you don't, you just do it on a breath? And they were like, we think that's more sporting. Yeah. Which is true, I think that's cool. Yeah, definitely. And I was like, do you use the slang one or do you use the like, the one that, you know,

weaponize one? Shoots, yeah. And they were like, well, we use the weaponized one or whatever, but we do it on one breath. That's pretty sick. I was like, wow, that's awesome. And they were like, yeah, we go off the oil rigs in Dubai. What? That's gotta be so dangerous.

Aren't there like fucking, like tons of sharks out there? Dude, they said it's totally illegal, but they go do it anyway and they go off the pillars of the oil rigs and they spearfish around there and then he casually, this young guy, casually dropped and he was like, he said something like, I don't know, yeah, we, last time we were on the yacht we had like 14 kingfish or something and I was like, oh shit, yacht? So they're from Dubai.

They're Dubai, yeah. And then he- You're either a dirt poor or a trillionaire? Then he told me that, I was like, what are you guys doing here? And he was like, well, my dad just built a house at the new Four Seasons property nearby. And it's like a place that you can both stay at,

but also has homes that you can build. And he was like, but he was worried that the wifi and shit wasn't set up yet. So he just got us all rooms at this hotel to make sure that everything was okay. And he told him to bring all of his friends. And then I'm like, holy shit. And so then I look, we like exchanged info

and followed each other on Instagram. This guy is the son of the crown prince of a major province of the United Arab Emirates. That's insane. So billionaire. I would think it's billions. Yeah. I think it's billions.

Easily. In Dubai, for sure. Easily think it's billions. Yeah, I think it's billions easily in Dubai for sure Yeah, oh my god, and he's he's just Sporting spear fishing off of a fucking oil ring. Probably guys are the one this guy's a fun follow Fun follow on Instagram this kid. I don't know. He's probably in his mid 20s or something, but he and his buddy Are both part of a team that does, I guess, American Ninja Warrior stuff, all but as a team. They run these races, I guess it's a sport over there, where they do these obstacle courses,

and they're just in insane shape. They're like rock climbers. They're doing back flips all over the fucking place. Cool, crazy shit. It's like a parkour team meets whatever American Ninja Warrior. And that seems to be what he does. Those are wild boys out there. Yeah.

You all see the videos of them like riding a Ferrari on two wheels, hanging out the side of like a desert, like shooting an AK. Yeah, they're doing ATV stuff. And his buddy who was with him, who was part of the team, has the Guinness World Record, I know this from his Instagram, Guinness World Record for most consecutive back flips down a sand dune.

And there's just a video of him starting at the top, going wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, wop. Fuck that's crazy. Did like 100, it's fucking insanity. That sounds incredible. That's a dude you need to make French Oh, I'm fighting with to come spearfishing with them in January. You should do it I actually think I want to do it should do it. You should like bring Donnie or something to make a video

No, I can't I can't risk that Wild card. Well, he would just I don't know. I love Donnie's death. I guess I probably wouldn't want to document it Yeah, exactly. If it's illegal. Exactly, exactly. This is like a royal family or some shit. Just to write one blog about it. You should do it though. That would be on my hand.

They're probably catching Goliath groupers out there. They hunt for king. They go for king. They fish for kingfish. I don't even know what that is. They probably like armed bodyguards in the water. I know the name, but I don't know. He says it's like a bigger version of a barracuda.

Jesus. Well then that's horrifying. That's the thing they want. Barracuda have razor blade teeth. Yeah, what kind of spearfish is gonna fucking, like you must have massive, it must be shooting harpoons underwater. Yeah, I know. But the cool part was that I was able to do more length

underwater than they did, cause I've been training a lot. Yeah, that's pretty sick that they do no oxygen. I then held my breath and had someone tie me on a phone for as long as I could. And I set my own personal record. How long was it? Two full minutes.

Two minutes. I thought you were going to say like five minutes. No, I'm not a fucking psycho. Dude, I held my breath underwater for two full minutes. I don't know, I feel like I could do it. That's the problem right now. I don't know, that seemed pretty nuts to me. I'd never done more than probably like a minute and a half. Just being still, I feel like it's harder if you're moving.

No, yeah, yeah. You got to just calm yourself the fuck down for a while. Settle your heart rate. I mean, dude, if you Wim Hof into that, five minutes. Yeah, when I do Wim Hof, hold it for you hold it for 90 seconds Yeah, I think if I trained I could probably do Two and a half maybe three if I really trained but I don't see the point off you're going close to four You got to start Wim Hof and I downloaded that app once and never never figured it out. You just do the YouTube app

Yeah, I was just always on YouTube. You just hit that video. I don't understand it. Feel the breath. Let the body do what the body is capable of doing. It's fucking awesome. That guy's awesome. He says he like, didn't he say he injected himself with like-

With E. coli. Yeah. Or like Ebola. Ebola. Yeah and he fought it off with the Wim Hof. Just to like prove it. Yeah Just like breathed his way through. They like watched it exit his body. Just marched out Can't do shit in here

This is a lost cause. All of his videos are him like swimming in Antarctica And he did it cuz his wife died of cancer. I think his wife killed herself with cancer She ejected herself with cancer. I think his wife committed suicide. With cancer. She ejected herself with cancer? I think his wife committed suicide and then he got really into Wim Hof. I thought she got sick and he was like, I can't go out this way. Quick Google. Quick Google. Get to the bottom of this. Ron, how was that sweet, sweet weekend that you had up in the Hudson Valley? Very chill. very relaxed.

Place looked awesome. It was fucking dope. It was very nice up there. Felt like a big getaway, but it was only an hour and a half away. Slippin' a dog off a leash. So it was good. Jumped off a building.

Better man than me. He said, now I'm going to breathe very deeply. Nice win. Yeah. Nice win there. Look bro, if you're not up to date on Wim Hof, why don't you sit this one out? Yeah. Fucking idiot.

Dude, I had our, we had our first softball tournament a week ago. It was a tournament? The first, it was a pre-season tournament. Like not, it doesn't count towards the regular season. Insane. So it's not just a game. It was crazy.

Derek, dude, Derek is out of his fucking mind. In what way? I like look at him differently after that. After that? Like I saw him that night and I was like, dude, you're fucking insane. Like he was like, he was going fully back to prison. It was like, he's like, as soon as we got out there

and it was competitive, he was the, he's our coach slash manager. Who, manager, Derek Drescher. Yeah, he's a comic. Yeah, he he's like he was like the coach slash manager. And the first game we played, it's it's very like starts to meet. Like it's it's all like there's an umpire. We get there. The two managers shake hands. Then we're instantly starting.

Like it's not there's not really any like sitting around or anything. And, uh, the first team that we played was these like finance dudes or something. They're all like my age, but like my, they look like they're my age. They're all fucking jacked wearing like skin tight shirts. They're all just like, yeah, they're hot ass athletes. And, uh, we play the first inning, we let up like three runs in the first inning They're all just like hot or so. Yeah, they're hot ass athletes and We play the first inning we let up like three runs in the first inning and we score nothing and then they're playing like me they're like drinking like high noons, they're playing music and

Our teams like it's I'm the youngest person on our team by like five years and and our team they're like they're like the other team They're playing like Taylor Swift or some shit and our guys have to see people on our team have been to prison for like Ten years plus and they're like they're like these fucking pussies Let's show them some real music and then they're just playing like Tupac and then Derek Derek comes in from from the mound He was pitching and he goes turn this fucking music off in from the mound, he was pitching and he goes, turn this fucking music off. This isn't a fucking hip hop concert. And then he, dude, he goes over to the other bench, to their bench where they're playing music, he goes, turn the fucking music off.

And they're like, we're not going to turn the music off, dude. And he goes, then I'll go over there and I'll turn it off for you. And they're like, really? We're going to like, you're going to do this? There's it's Derek versus like 20 fucking jacked 23 year olds. Who probably fight like still fight. Yes, and Derek's at the mound yelling at them to turn the music off.

And then he, they're playing a song and Derek goes, he goes, you ever hear the remix to this one? It's called suck my fucking dick. And then the umpire stops the game. And he brings Derek in and he goes he goes if you said that to me I would beat the shit out of you and he's like he's like I know we're like having fun and this is competitive he's like that crosses the line and then and then Derek had to like dude like another dude on our team had

to like pull Derek aside and be like you're you're like he's like you gotta bring it down a notch this was game game. This was game. This was like preseason. This was like 10 minutes into game one, 10 minutes in. It was insane. Was he just driving there like in like with the heat blasting in the windows up all the way? I guess last year, I guess last year they didn't win a single game. He's like, not this year. He's like, he thinks that this year we should be really good.

Because you're on the squad? No, I just think because I mean year we should be really good. Because you're on the squad? No, I just think because, I mean, we should be. Everyone on our team, like half the team is like big men. It's just insane how every... And it's soft pitch, softball. You know, what, what dictates who's actually good? It would have to be a team that has a bunch of people who played baseball. That's what it was. The team that won.

So we played. So we lost that first game by a lot. I think we could have won that game if it wasn't our first game. The second game we played, we smoked that team. We won like 12 to 4. And then the game after that, we played a group who I think they were just doing the tournament. I don't think they're even in the league. I think they were just doing the tournament because clearly just a full baseball team that plays together. They beat us 10-0

and then they beat the team in the championship that we lost to our first game. They beat them 10-0. 10-1, 10-1, everybody. Yeah, they were, they destroyed us. And it was like, you would hit a ball and you'd be like, any other team that would have gone through,

but somehow they were just, they were everywhere. Yeah. Like they were, their fielding was insane. So we got fucking destroyed. How did you do? Did you get some hits? Yeah, I got a hit every time I never struck out, but it's weird because it starts with when you get up to bat, you already have one strike and one ball. Yeah. Which I don't understand. I was like, why don't we just make it two strikes and three balls? Like, what does that make more sense? Yeah. Than being like, all right, you already have two. I don't know that. I thought that was stupid. No one else seemed to care, but I thought that was dumb.

I mean, it's the same thing. So like you strike, if you, if you, if you don't swing on something once, then you're already at two strikes. So then the third one, they're like, well, I'm not gonna strike out. So you're swinging at everything. You're hitting that shit that's a foot above your head. You got base hits or you just make contact? I got two base hits. Yeah?

Yeah, I think I had like three RBIs. Let's fucking go. Yeah. How about in the field, shortstop, you said? No, God no, I'm fucking right field. Really? Yeah, where no one hits to, unless it's a lefty. Really? Yeah. They put you in the field shortstop you said no god no, I'm fucking right field really Yeah, where no one hits to unless it's a lefty really. Yeah, they put you in the girl spot. Yeah, pretty much They don't they don't really trust me. Did you do any fielding practice? Oh, yeah It was great. I mean I fucking I got like I must have gotten like 30,000 steps that day because it was three games

We had three games that's sick and I bikes to Central Park on an e-bike being like, this will probably take like 10 minutes. It took me like an hour. It was so long. It does take a while to get up there. Yeah. It was so far. That's so sick though to have the camaraderie of the boys. Yeah, it was fun. Derek was, I mean dude, it was crazy. You should have seen it. It was like a full scene. Like tourists walking by and they're like shocked and then he's turning to them being like, this is what real New York looks like. Keep it moving. Where is he from? He's from Brooklyn or Eastern New York. Yeah. What did you expect? I know Derrick's crazy. The last time he played softball was probably in prison. Yeah. Yeah. I expect that from Derrick, but this was like,

I'd never seen that level of like, of like, intense-ness. I respect the hell out of it. It was so, and everyone, no one's like, maybe like a couple people on the team would be like, dude, I'm so like Derek, like, oh, at the end of the game, he gets us all in a huddle. And he's like, he's like, who had, who, he's like, all right, a lot of work we need to do.

And he's like, raise your hand if you made an error. And then like Danny Polacek raises a hand 20 push-ups right now and dude people are actually doing the push-ups. It was crazy. That's good I like just like Tom Hanks in the league of their own. Yeah. Yeah, it was I mean it was hilarious That's so impressive, but we have a game on Sunday and I texted him this morning And I was like if that games not over by one I'm leaving. Yeah, that insane. Oh, but there's nine games at 1 p.m. That's insane. I'm not miss an opening week You boys have spots on Friday night Yeah, definitely

Why cuz you're gonna watch the birds. Yeah, my spots probably aren't until like midnight Actually, you know, I think I have spots all night, but I'll probably have like a three-hour break I don't know what I'm doing this weekend I might be in rehab You should just to see what it's like go to detox do a little research I was watching I was listening to Nick Coletti was on like some sobriety podcasts And I was listening to it and he was talking about when he went to Detox and his roommate was just doing fentanyl the entire time.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Sounds pretty dark. So impressive. But it seems like a pretty common thing is that you go to detox and you just like bring your drugs with you. Boofing? It's just like, now at least no one's going to bother me now.

By the way, boofing is interesting. There is a discussion happening right now in my life about what it really means. And I understood it to mean people that sneak things in or out of prison or across state lines or whatever. I was always in the impression it was chugging a beer through your ass. Butt chugging, butt chugging. Yeah. I think what I learned is that it can also mean, I think, that when you blow cocaine or drugs up someone, into someone's ass. Oh, interesting.

What if there's anything through the ass? There's that scene in Wolf of Wall Street where he's doing that to the stripper. Is he? The prostitute. I thought he was doing cocaine off of her ass cheeks. No, he's blowing it into her butt. Oh.

Did they shoot it in reverse? That must be an early Easter egg. I'll have to watch that again. Yeah. You kind of blow it like a blow dart. Yeah. Like in Pulp Fiction when they pull this. I know what you're talking about.

I remember that. Yeah, I'd never heard of that. I'd never knew that that was also boofing. You should have tried it in Europe. No, I could barely even have weed on decent terms. You didn't tell us about the red light district. I didn't go. They told me to stay away from it.

I wasn't very interested. I think it's pretty sad. Like I don't really wanna. They're literally caged like snakes at a PetSmart. I did not go to the red light district. I had no interest. You gotta go, bro. People kinda said that, but I was like,

Tell us about it when the mics are off. Pussy, come on. Didn't wanna go go didn't go Did I watched last night? I was on YouTube and I was I stumbled upon a Andrew Dice Clay at MSG Might be the greatest comedy show of all time That I would if I could go to any comedy show in the history of time. It would be that show Hmm, do you watch him on Instagram now? Oh, it's so funny the big shot And he'll just be like you guys want to take a picture

Me. Yeah, you're looking at the face I heard you wanted a picture with the face and it'll be like the 23 year old dude On the Brooklyn Bridge. They're like what the fuck are you talking about? Have you seen the one where he goes up to Aaron Rodgers? He does that when they did kill Tony at MSG Aaron Rodgers was in the green room and he goes up to him It's very funny. Just to watch it. Yeah, but uh dude at MSG, they're It's so sick. They got fucking big-ass like foam dice that they're like throwing around the crowd Everyone's like repeating the jokes with him. It's just like a concert. It's so sick. Mm-hmm

He's deep into the character, huh? Yeah, I never watched it. I'll watch it though. I didn't watch the whole thing I just watched the is it all hickory dickory doc stuff now now just occasionally That's like I think that's just like how he opens the set. Oh, okay, and then it's mostly jokes Yeah, but the jokes are like They'll be like I had a good he's like, you you know what I hate is when a bitch is sucking your dick and she's ignoring the balls. And then he's like, I hate when a bitch is sucking my dick and she's making eye contact me, look at my dick,

you're supposed to be sucking my dick. Whoa. Me and Francis like a bit more cerebral type of comedy. Oh yeah, I do too, but that shit, shit I mean you can't go wrong with that. I only listen to clean comedy. Yeah, and then dice isn't for you, bro Dice rules. Yeah, he's got the lead. He's got the vest on that says go out rules. Yeah So turn the fucking lights on India. I want to see these people It's great. You gotta says 20,000 people there? Yeah.

He sold out two nights in a row. Wasn't he the first comedian ever to sell out MSG? Yeah. Or I think the first comedian to ever sell it out two nights in a row, maybe. Who is like his clientele? Are they like Jersey Shore, from his pumpers with puns and shit?

I think it's like you go see Bruce Springsteen and Dice Clay back to back at MSG. Yeah. It might have been that no one sold out MSG between him and then Dane Cook. There was a long gap. Really? I could be wrong about that, but I think so. Dane Cook sold it out in one of the early 2000s.

Eddie Murphy sold it out, but that was probably before Dice. Dice sold it out in 1990. Yeah, I would think Eddie Murphy was probably in the yeah And then dice and then I don't know that anyone sold it out and so comedy was dead for fucking 12 Well, the 90s was a bad time for comedy cuz Seinfeld was fucking dominating Well, I think the boom happened in the 80s and then it really died off in the 90s I wonder why it just it's just like what can we point to culturally though that in the 90s and then it really died off in the 90s. I wonder why. It just comes in the 90s. What can we point to culturally though

that in the 90s they killed comedy. Oversaturation, everyone was. Times were good, yeah, no one had to laugh. Well, because in the, if you listen to old stories of people, of older comedians like Louie and stuff, they'll talk about being at the cellar in the 90s and there's five people in the crowd, which is is crazy because now they sell out fucking they probably sell like 20,000 tickets a week because people thought friends was funny. Yeah, why do we have to go anywhere when Phoebe and Chandler can?

Yeah Yeah, I've never laughed at a French joke in my life Yeah, I don't get that I actually have many times a lot of of it, a lot of it I actually enjoyed. I'm with you on that. Yeah. I like Friends. That's like when people like that weird phase where everyone was like the office is the worst show of all time. I think the office is hilarious. The office is unbelievable. I think that they're just completely different stratospheres of types of comedy. Yeah. I mean now what I watch I'm not gonna like binge Friends. But would you, I would binge The Office. I would not gonna like binge friends, but would you I would binge the office I

Would watch the office if it was on TV like at a hotel. I'll watch the office Yeah, I don't think I'm throwing on friend and I've tried I don't want to be this way But I just it doesn't now you're just like you're too cool for school. No, I don't think I am I think you are I think that's completely the like that's personality. Yeah, your whole thing is like, friends actually suck. You're one of those guys? I've been that way before, so I get it. I'm sorry. I won't have an honest opinion about anything anymore.

I'm sorry, anything rules. Never laughed at friends jokes my entire life. How was Pop Punk? They were fucking... It looked crazy. Did you get hoarse? They were actually awesome. Did you lose your voice? No, I like trained it. You. Did you get horse? They were actually awesome, huh? You lose your voice Oh, no, I like train. He loses his voice

He does actually but I lost a couple times and I like I was chugging water doing tons of vocal exercises I was like worried. I was like these shows are gonna be fucking dead. I was like promoting them way more They're all sold out like there was like fucking 450 at the first show and like 600 at the fucking second show or whatever. That's so crazy. And it was fucking, and they went so hard. It was so, we were all just looking at each other on stage being like, this is so fun.

How was the Philly one? It was the best crowd ever. Rowdy as fuck. Just like looking at the back corners of the room and people are just like screaming everywhere Yeah, songs, bunch of libs In what way? Fucking the birds, dude, the birds for Harris. That was proven fake. Eagles for Harris. You fucking just eat up the propaganda What are we talking about? You just eat up the propaganda. No, I don't think it was fake

It was. It was just the birds didn't actually back it Yeah, so there's was fake the Eagles tweeted out that it was fake. I Don't know. I bet there was a there was a surprising amount of people that were like pumped on that I think that the Eagles ownership I think Jeffrey Lorie is a Traditional Democrat, but I don't think that he's put it out bitch Fuck yeah, bro. But no, Philly's not like that. Hell, he is, dude.

Did you see people putting small stickers over the entire sign? No, I didn't. It's badass. People were like papering it over. Yeah, they were putting stickers that said, Harris Waltz 2024. What's wrong with Waltz, bro? Nothing, actually. Waltz is the man. Yeah, Waltz rules. He's a football coach,

bro. He's a football guy. You can't get down with a football guy. What's up with his son? Is he autistic? Big time. He is. Big time. Cause I saw someone say like they were like, a lot of people don't know, uh, his son's actually neurodivergent. He, uh, has ADHD and anxiety. And I was like, I've been diagnosed with both of those things yeah so minor neurodivergent it's like then I think he has like a nonverbal learning disorder and disorder if you're 20 years old you're neurodivergent doesn't matter who you are all 20 year olds are neurodivergent yeah it makes sense you

really can't help it but the Philly show is fucking rock though. Yeah, that's like both of them. It's so fun. You should come through and do one I'm really trying to fucking get this bar stool karaoke shit off the ground Yeah, we're everywhere where people come and sing a fucking song or whatever we like back we do like backing bands and I Had a tweak to it where we'll do, it'll be a theme tonight. So it'll be country. We dress country and we play all country.

And someone sings country. Or we do fucking 90s rock or some shit like that. And you can come sing the fucking Friends theme song and laugh like a hyena. No one told me life was gonna be this way. I don't like Friends. I'm never way. I'm not I don't like friends I'm never gonna I'm never gonna pursue friends, but I don't hate I'm not like one of those people that like I just said It didn't make my personality isn't like that shows actually you just said I don't like

Say they like something and then someone goes actually that's bad. Actually, you shouldn't like that. I didn't say that's not how it happened I I offered that I offered that I didn't do it. Never left a friend of mine in my entire life? I haven't. One time I was talking to a guy about Dune, and he was like, second was great. First one, one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I go, I actually loved it. And he goes, how?

Yeah. And I was like, I don't know. Subjective opinions? Being different? Yeah. I have different tastes than you? Different strokes for different folks? I used to be like that back when I was really popular on Twitter because I would just have opinions based on Twitter.

I wouldn't have my own opinions. And I remember I was like, one of my friends was really into Rick and Morty. And I was like, dude, Rick and Morty fucking sucks. And then he was like, why? And I was like, I don't know, I've actually never seen it. I've actually only seen the sweatpants. And then I watched it and I was like,

this show is so hilarious. Yeah. It's so funny. Which is surprising that you enjoyed that because it's actually super highbrow intelligent stuff. Well, yeah, I mean, it's no Dice Clay, but it's still good. I'm trying to broaden the comedy that I absorb. Right.

Watched Ralph Barbosa's special this weekend. Hooting and hollering all night. So funny, dude. That clip I sent you is so funny. Yeah, he's great. He's great. Marcelo. Marcelo Hernandez. Hilarious. Does he have his first one coming out? No, I don't think great. Marcelo. Marcelo Hernandez.

Hilarious. Does he have his Marcelo coming out? No, I don't think so. Or maybe, I don't know. I haven't seen him in months. I went to his Spanish speaking night at the cellar. I was howling, I was like,

Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja. I couldn't get enough of it. Matt Rife's gonna be on KillTownie, did you see that? I saw that, yeah. I'm sure he'll be good on that. World's colliding. Yeah.ownie, did you see that? I saw that, yeah. I'm sure he'll be good on that. World's colliding. Yeah. Goats. Hot goats colliding. Yeah. A bunch of hot kings.

Ha ha ha. I'll be in Austin, Texas, at the Creek in the Cave, September 19th weekend. Tickets at punchup.live slash francesellas. Hope to see you there. Hope to see you there. Hope to see you there. Maybe I'll come down feature. Why not?

Why not, you know? Maybe I'll come down feature shit. Actually no, I'm gonna be seeing Sebastian that weekend I think. Jesus Christ, dude. I'm so pumped, dude. See, you're seeing Sebastian is like my Colorado trip. You've been talking about it for fucking 12 months.

Just go see Sebastian already, dude. Just why don't you go to a city that he's at so you can stop talking about it. Me and my friends just keep calling each other just doing Sebastian impressions. It's gonna be a blast. We're gonna wear tuxes. No, you're not.

Dudes in suits? You got it, dude. Sebastian at the Garden, that's like the classiest event of the year I'm definitely bringing out the suit for that. You've got a tailgate in the tux. Yeah, you gotta go to the black So it's hair. Yeah, I need my hair to be hard as a rock for that. You need champagne Just drinking non-athletic drinking athletic brewing out of a champagne. Yeah, exactly. Just classy as hell Oh, it's gonna be a blast blast he's doing up my boat tight

fucking Sebastian ten cases of Schlitz Sebastian what else what else did he say oh it's so good I can't wait guys fucking So yeah, we're not gonna be able to make it to Austin we're all gonna be a fucking too bad too bad I'm pumped to we were gonna go on Sunday and then we change it to Saturday cuz things got moved around So now I'm not gonna miss any Sunday night ball Yeah, right. You're gonna be the softball game No, yeah, I'll definitely all softball games are always during football. I just got a Patriots cardigan The fuck is wrong with you just for at-home leisure Just something to wear on game day over the jersey in case of the little nippy. Well you watch Frazier

You fucking area that bastard Very funny. Very silly. It's Frazier fun. It's Frazier coming back. I think he is they did a reboot, right? You could you could be this generation's Frazier fun? Is Frazier coming back? I think he is. They did a reboot, right? You could be this generation's Frazier. Yeah, we gotta get you a sitcom. Oh, you're talking to me? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. You think Saz could be this generation's Frazier?

I don't know. I guess that's a good point. Frazier talks about the fucking finer things in life. Dude, if Friends was around today, you definitely could've played like Jennifer Aniston's boyfriend or something. Yeah, it would've been fun. Like at the coffee shop. Or like maybe Phoebe's boyfriend? I think Phoebe's a lesbian.

Oh, Phoebe dates Paul Rudd and marries him. Oh, really? Oh, she used to be a lesbian? Is that what happened? Or her parents were lesbians? No, she is- Oh no, her girlfriend, or, no. something happened with her being a lesbian, I thought. I don't know. You probably just couldn't hear the fucking plot. Turn to old Google.

Because you were scream laughing so hard. Because you were doubled over. When he's wrong, and he may not be wrong, but when he's wrong, he just finds other ways to make it right. She's a lesbian? No. Her girlfriend's a lesbian. There's something about her associated with lesbianism. She may be, I don't know. I don't know if I ever saw that moment where she was. She's just rich with lesbianism. Yeah, I guess she wasn't.

I thought there was something. Ha ha ha ha ha. Are you excited for a surrogate? Oh no, it's Ross's ex-wife is a lesbian. Yeah, that's right. That's what it was. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and she's blonde too.

Yeah. What were you saying, Ron? Ron? Was her name Lisa, his ex-wife? Yes. That's probably why you got mixed up, because it's Lisa Kudrow, the actress playing Phoebe. Classic. Is it Lisa is his ex-wife?

Google it, SAS. SAS, Google it. Yeah, it was. It's Lisa... Lampanelli. Lisa it was. It's Lisa Lampinelli. Lisa Rundlecuch. Carol. Carol. Carol's such a 90s name.

What were you saying, Ron? You don't see bitches named Carol anymore. You really don't see bitches named Carol. What were you saying? Carol's like Ursula now. You were talking about something. Talking ball? You couldn't fucking hear me over the fantasies of fucking friends of yore.

I can't wait to get home and just throw on some Black Ops 6 and some friends to the side. Double screen. Fucking smelly cat. Yeah. You were dying laughing about smelly cat. What are they feeding you? It's a good song. No, it's hilarious. It's a catchy song. That song will be stuck in my head all day now Yeah, well, you'll just be laughing through it. I'm saying that about my dog all the time smelly dog. Yeah crazy

I Was asking Francis if he was excited for surviving bar stool oh yeah when is that September you're are you doing it yeah okay good I don't know who's doing it I don't really have a full cast list me you clever or a no RA. No, RA's out. Why? Because he's an alcoholic. Oh, Jesus Christ. You're a bad guy. What? He's getting help. Is that true? I'm pretty sure.

I didn't actually know the reason. I just saw the video of Whit saying he's not doing it. That's why I said RA. I thought that that's what they're talking about. And then you kind of like brought it to the next level. Made it personal. They talk about it on every episode. They're like, he's fucking buckled down there trying to do interviews. Like what do you see? What do we think buckled means? I don't know. Like his belt was too tight. I feel attacked. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You, uh, clamor, Smitty, I'm looking forward to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah me you clamor Smitty white talks Dave Rico Jersey Jerry Robbie Fox Wally Gillow wallow gilly Taylor on wallow and gilly I didn, Will. Did you watch Fitty on Wallow and Gilly? I didn't watch it yet. Decent. Rhea.

Rhea. Kelly Keegs. It's a big ass cast. 24 people. Really? Yeah. 24 like Jack Bauer, bro. Couldn't find room for you though, bro.

Sorry. I'm good, I don't wanna do that at all. Sorry to say. That's not what Dave said. Dave said you were begging They've they've lies. They said that he was swimming in a sea of blue on this person. I know Never tell a lie. They said that you were fucking texting him ad nauseum Just desperate to get on please boss, man

Which five extra shower I know. How much is it? 250. Jesus Christ. That's insane. I can see why people wanted to get in on it. Caleb. Caleb? Chicken fry.

Chicken fry? I'm saying. None of these people need $250,000. It's crazy. Ironically, I do. Caleb and Chicken Fry, that net worth is like the fucking Dubai guy that you met. Yeah, they're spearfishing off the coast of Morocco. They just built a property at the Four Seasons.

Monaco. Anytime you call something a property, you know it's fucking rich. They're spearfishing at the Brooklyn Aquarium. At the Baltimore Aquarium, just in the dolphin tank, spearfishing. Fucking sick. So we have that coming up. Also, I'm doing the compliment battles in the city on September 14th. Absolute, absolute. The nicest, the nicest come through.

It's going to be good. It's going gonna be very funny That's not I'll be in Rochester together in October as well But yes first come to Austin see me and then we'll go do Rochester Then we got some fun stuff after that. I got a lot of fun stuff planned a lot of fun stuff coming up little Sasquatch website comm Punch up dot live slash Francis Sells. Have you seen a precipitous uptick in sales since you're?

Not at all, no. Have you checked? No, but I don't think. I mean, you have five meetings with your business managers every week. I haven't gotten really that big of a bump from the set. It's mostly just people that know me watched it, and then people that don't know me watched it. It doesn't have like you to get a bump in

ticket sales the video needs to get like two million views. You'll get there. We'll see. No we're gonna click farm it. Yeah. We're gonna boost the shit out of that. If you haven't watched it please go watch it. Me and Francis are gonna put that together. There's a little gift for you. I'm never doing that material again. It's done Let's put the click form at the very end of the show after your encore when you come back on stage I'll probably be like do you yeah? It's gonna be like dice like they're gonna be chanting the chanting that you haul bit back at me happiness is for good boys $80 million! But yes, please go watch that if you haven't watched it. Trust.

Alright, see you guys tomorrow. Tomorrow, yes. Alright, goodbye. Bye.