Son of a Boy Dad - Mexicans Love Lil Sas | Son of a Boy Dad #185

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Mexicans Love Lil Sas | Son of a Boy Dad #185 -- Rone & Lil Sas discuss their weekends: a brutal stomach bug & a solo west coast tour... -- Ad: NETFLIX | THE GENTLEMEN LIKE IT WHEN YOU WATCH. https://www.netflix.com/title/81437051 -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. We get the up? All righty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is March 25th. It is 2.50 p.m. and we are here from HQ3. If you're listening to this, it is Francis' birthday.

True, it is Francis' birthday today. So go wish him a happy birthday. Go buy tickets to his live shows. That would probably... He's doing Philly in a couple weeks. And as a gift to him... Go see him. No, we gave him the day off. We gave him the day off.

We let him go down to Florida to play with foreplay. With his little boyfriend, Frank Burrell. Exactly. Did you see that Burrell is hosting Billy Football's... Congress. Congressional? Yeah. It's like a congressional rally.

So is that a real thing that's happening? I think it's dead serious real. Like I watched the video of him, like, and it looked real. It's real. Yeah. That's crazy. I think he could win. I think he could win too.

I think he has to lean into being Billy Football Yeah Like I think that would play on TV and shit like that And I think he should go Super MAGA Well I think he is He's going He's going Alright

No but he's like going like Republican like softly Like I think he should go Super MAGA And like appeal to like He should wear like a cape and shit Yeah Yeah that's not a bad idea That would be awesome Or like football pads But like MA cape and shit yeah yeah that's not a bad idea that would be awesome or like football pads but like mega mega football pads how old do you have to be to be in congress

i think he's in the sweet spot 25 really yeah i know 35 for prez yeah i know that i feel like if he gets ahead of it now he could be prez by 35 yeah i mean yeah he had 10 years in like the politics beforehand and but do you think he would give up his job on macro dosing hell no yeah definitely not that's his right that's his propaganda wing do you think if he became president do you think macro dosing would surpass part of my take damn big cat's gonna quash this big cat's running i mean that would be pretty huge yeah damn though i mean that would throw a wrench in things yeah they need to fucking link up and make sure that that never happens

dude did you see that spotify put out like the numbers for their podcast for rogan yeah and like call her daddy yeah what did i didn't know that call her daddy was still so fucking big yeah these sluts won't sleep yeah i thought call her daddy was like kind of i feel like it i thought it like declined after the split but it's like dude they're getting like three million viewers an episode i think that we have a perception when things go really mainstream that they like fall off yeah like that they start declining but in actuality they're like bigger than ever oh it's huge three million views an episode like i think burke kreischer fan or like people who follow burke kreischer are like oh he's falling

off now when in reality he's doing arenas yeah he's doing arenas everywhere every single night or like people are like oh fucking young sheldon's on cable or whatever it's like fuck young but it's like no young sheldon like eight billion people watch young sheldon. It's crazy. Same with Call Her Daddy. Yeah. She's just mining the Miley Cyrus family. Yeah, well, it's like she, someone was saying that she's like Joe Rogan for girls. I've seen that. But yeah, in that she's like one-sixth as popular.

Yeah, well, I mean, of course no one's going to be Rogan. Rogan's the mainstream, bro. Yeah, that's crazy. What was his? His was like 14.5 million an episode is that was that an episode or is that subscribers or is that the same thing i thought that was the same thing i don't even think i mean if it's listener if it's subscribers versus listeners that means that it's probably like 20 million an episode yeah probably who the fuck is following

joe rogan who follow i don't follow anybody on spotify and i listen to tons of podcasts i think i follow like the suicide boys on spotify and that's it yeah because i like i was when i was like a big fan i was like they need my support i need to fucking put these guys on my back put money directly into their pockets i don't follow anybody on spotify but now everybody's online being like cnn gets 550 000 listens to broadcast joe rogan gets 16 million abroad yes who's really mainstream but also it's like fox news gets like 500 000 a broadcast too i know but i think that their point is that joe rogan posits himself as this like uh alternative like we're the people in the shadows who like don't really have a we have an unrepresented voice yeah and in reality he is the fucking he's the voice of the

people the vox populi they must be like dubbing it over in other countries right you like that a little latin for my catholic school boys over there would you say dubbing it over yeah what do you mean oh like malaysia yeah yeah like there's got to be joe rogan in spanish unless maybe maybe they're like using it as a tool to like learn english in other countries you think so i could see that for sure yeah like go home and listen to an episode of protect our parks yeah try and figure out what they're saying this is american culture yeah beautiful yeah i mean it is sounds like that guy that is a good english the guy i was doing an impression of had already learned english from joe rogan yeah we're having a spanish to do a good ass impression of them yeah damn i gotta fucking since i stopped driving to philly i

haven't been listening to i haven't been crushing long ass pods recently i've been crushing rogan's as much i've been i've missed out on rogues and i was a lot of rogan this weekend for me why because i was driving a bunch oh yeah it was nice when you have like a three-hour drive yeah you're driving in cali yeah oh you did look tan i don't know if it was just jaundice from your fucking diet or if you were it definitely is because i didn't go outside at all really i went fishing one day but that barely even counts actually no i saw a behemoth that you caught oh tiny, a tiny little guy? I was the only guy that caught a fish that day. Who else were you out with?

There's a hundred people out there. And I got a fish. And they all crowded around me. And they're like, he's on. He's on. And they're like, what'd you get it with? And I was like, just a swim bait. And then, you know what really pissed me off?

After I caught the fish, they all came over to me and started fishing right where i was fishing yeah that's so annoying yeah so i had to move but it's like that's like that's that's bad etiquette you don't do that yeah you're supposed to give people their space i know that's fucking corny as shit and i never got it i didn't get another bite the rest of the day and that was like the end of the day that's because these fish probably got wise to it yeah even these fish are smart enough to realize i know what are the dudes like that you're running into oh dude it was all mexicans and then there was two white kids who said the n-word more than i've ever heard a black person say the n-word really yeah what do they sound like

like they were 13 year old white kids who said just learned what the n-word was no but like an impression i can't do it the impression dude it was i'm not even kidding it was every other word yeah and i thought it was i thought they were mexicans because i know mexicans kind of get that pass they do and i honestly until recently i thought it was fine yeah i was under the impression until now i thought it was still fine yeah i guess it's not i don't know diego you get the pass black people need to stop gatekeeping the n-word yeah well mexicans i i mean dude they these kids but these were these were fully white kids yeah but i mean just throwing it around so i moved partially because they took my spot and partially because i was like this is so uncomfortable they're

gonna lump the three white kids in together yeah when shit hits the fan I do not want to be grouped up with you boys. These three. Yeah. I'm not going to say it. So I skadoodled down further. Didn't catch anything the rest of the day. That's fucking brutal. At least you got out there. That's truly the joy.

Yeah, it was nice. How many casts do you do? Had to have been close to a thousand. i was out there for a while let me see your forearm muscle there really isn't any you have to be rippling after a thousand casts i did get to like because i don't really i don't really uh use spin rods unless i'm like on the road or something like that so but my spin rod cast i got to i became pretty good at it i could do the thing where you kind of just like blick it out instead of doing the full like you hit him with the wingardium leviosa yeah just because then that's when you can put it right where you want it and you don't and it goes

straight instead of up so that was like i felt pretty badass doing that wait uh so when you when you caught one what was everyone saying they were like he's on he's on yeah but was it the mexicans or the white kids saying the white boys yeah yeah he's on they were saying he's on and then this n word's on yeah and then they and then they were like what'd you get you know what i got bro they saw me i was taking a photo of it like right next to them and they're like what'd you get and then of course i'm like i tell them what i'm using then they switch to what i'm using nothing did they have it they had what you were using? Yeah, they had big-ass tackle boxes.

So they're pros. Supposedly. Not quite. I mean, I'm the only one that caught a fish. And then you hear, like, everyone else come up to me being like, any bites? Landed one. You have to be one of the most traveled fishermen in America right now. No.

I've only ever fished in... Actually, I guess I've fished a couple places, but... That's what I mean. Like, you're going to a different city every week and fishing. No, I've only fished in California. I guess I fished in Portland and Atlanta as well. Okay, so that's still a couple. Jersey, New York. Jersey, New York. Colorado. Colorado, Wyoming. Yeah. as well okay so that's still a couple jersey new york jersey new york colorado colorado wyoming yeah you're a very try and is that all this year yeah yeah you're definitely one of the most travel

fishermen this year probably yeah i gotta be at least top one percent sound off in the comments if you sound off if you've like travel fish close to as much as little sass well what i really want to do i want to get out to it because bass fishing is fun bass fishing is so fun that it makes me uh resent fly fishing because fly fishing is stupid but it's but i enjoy it because it's a challenge but it's like if i was in a survival situation and they were like you can have a spin rod or a fly rod i'm not like i'd take the fly rod and snap it in half that thing is a fucking joke i don't even know what fucking

fly fishing is dude dude it's so hard and it's so unreal like unless you're like on top of a mountain where there's fish who have never where there's like unpressured trout you're not like it's what is it you're fishing you're there you're hoping're hoping that a fish is going to eat a fly. Out of the air? Like you can. There's nymphing and then there's dry fly fishing. And dry fly fishing is when you take like a little. It looks like a grasshopper type looking thing.

And that just sits on top of the water and you drift it down the water. And then trout will rise and they'll eat it and then go back down. And then there's nymphing, which is nymphs, which are tiny little flies like this big. And that's what you do in the colder months and they sink to the bottom. They're aquatic insects. Is that why you have to whip it with a fly fish so it like lands on the water? No, that's because the fly is so light that you're casting. You're not even casting the fly or casting the line.

Fly line is like heavy and thick. I'll be honest. I kind of until this point thought that you were like catching fish out of the air. No, no, no. I thought you're like lassoing fish. No, no. Hoping that they'll jump out of the water. That would be awesome. Tying a noose around them and y like lassoing fish. No, no. Hoping that they'll jump out of the water. No, that would be awesome.

And like fucking tying a noose around them and yanking them to shore or some shit like that. Fly fishing I still prefer. Like I still enjoy it more. It's more fun. It's more like of a challenge. But my success rate with spin rod fishing versus fly fishing is every time I get a spin rod I catch a fish. You got to go out of the... And I pretty much have never caught a fish fly fishing.

So why do you like it so much? Because I'm waiting for the one time that I do catch a fish and it's going to be an exhilarating moment. It'll be euphoric. Yeah. It's like playing Warzone without mods. Yeah, exactly. I knew it.

Yeah. That's just me listening to you. Spot on. Me picking up your fucking, the joys of your life. You like to do shit the hard way. Oh, yeah. You're not going to just take an easy fucking catch. I like to have someone fucking just serve me a fish.

Yeah, that's ideal. I like to just have a grilled fish set down in front of me by a nice waiter. Yeah, that is awesome. That is nice. I just want it easy. Yeah. I'm excited to hopefully catch a fish this summer in Wyoming. You got to go deep sea

bro you got to quit pussyfooting around with the well i grew up fishing in the ocean did you ever catch a fucking like a sward fish or anything like that no i caught some cod it was mostly just striped bass but we would catch like big striped bass like this big huge fuck yeah your daddy must have been so proud oh yeah big time your daddy must have set you down on his knee and told you you were his greatest creation something like that did you go uh how was your shows did you uh do anything while you're out there oh dude it was like one of the worst weekends of my entire life i thought you said the shows were very fun when you say the shows are very fun on your instagram is that a lie oh yeah almost always what am i gonna say if the shows are these shows were dog gonna be in

providence this weekend like yeah if the shows are good you don't have to say anything well okay so irvine was fine irvine was weird because the room is huge. It's like a 400-person room. It's like the Coliseum. Yeah. So that was fine. I think I did okay. I don't really know. It was one of those times where I felt like I was doing bad,

but then everyone after the show was like, that was great. It was really funny. So I don't really know. They have to say that, though. No, they don't. They know how fragile you are. Usually if they don't think you did well,

they just leave right away. So people came up, sucked you off, and then got out of there people were sucking a little bit and then i kind of got my ego boosted up again thank god fuck you and then i went to bakersfield then i went to bakersfield the first show in bakersfield was kind of rough but it was still fun it was light probably like 30 people and or no no it was probably like 60 people but there was a party of 42 and it was like a corporate like party what the fuck did they know it was you they're signing up they were just like we're gonna go see a comedy show just whoever may whoever it may be yeah and that one i was like i feel like everyone hated me

but i was doing fine like i was getting laughs where i was supposed to get laughs it just i wasn't like killing yeah but then your crowd yeah but then i saw a lady in walmart the next day and she was like that was amazing she was like i needed that laugh so much really yeah and i was like all right well maybe i didn't do that bad and then the next show the saturday show was great saturday show was awesome is there a chance the walmart lady was trying to seduce you though there is a chance i feel like that's kind of no she had like 10 kids so she needs she really needed yeah she said she was like she was like you have no idea how much i needed that laugh so she's fertile too yeah she's fertile as hell basically she's trying to seduce you pretty much it could have been that um how's the taco bell

out there i know that taco bell was incredible taco bell was pretty good dude it was a dark weekend denny's by myself oh yeah for breakfast breakfast because i had to drive from irvine to baker's hill which is like a four-hour drive stopped at a denny's inhaled then i mean i was in and out of denny's in five minutes. I got the English breakfast or whatever it was called. It was like the English like slam or something. What about the, I thought it was a Grand Slam at Denny's. The Grand Slam. Yeah, I got the Grand Slam. Classic.

Inhaled it. $5.99? Yeah. How much does that cost? I don't even remember. I was in and out so fast. Put it on the corporate. Put it on the corporate card. And then I went out to Bakersfield, got in, checked in the hotel, had to go to the show, did the show. And then I just polished off my Taco Bell.

No, I didn't masturbate. There was no masturbating this weekend. Really? What? Way too sad to masturbate. I thought that your sadness went in hand with your masturbating. Oh, no. Masturbating might have been what would have taken me over the edge.

The last thing I needed was that post-nut clarity. Or the like, depletion of serotonin that came with it afterwards. You need to keep every bit of nut in your body. Yeah, exactly. For like the potential of life. The brain fog was the only thing stopping me from killing myself.

I just couldn't think straight. I needed that that was like the that was like a shield the lack of jerking off was the shield that was protecting me you're lucky that lady with 10 kids didn't fucking jerk you off right at walmart yeah would have been i would have gone straight back to the hunting area blowing my head off so then i went fishing i woke up in bakersfield that morning and that was like the low out that was like one of two lowest points of the weekend waking up in bakersfield taco bell wrappers on the ground that was like oh my god you're eating too close to your sleep time bro i had no other there was no there was no other choice you don't want to eat before the show. You don't want to eat before the show.

No, you don't want to eat before the show. And then after the show, people are like, where are you going to go get food? And you're like, oh, I don't know. I'm probably just going to. And they're like, don't go here because they'll kill you. It's like one of those towns where everyone's like, it's actually a really nice town. It's very safe. But then they're like, oh, but don't go to that place because you will die.

They will murder you there. So you're like, all right, I guess I'll just go to Taco Bell and stay in my car. That seems like the best bet. Won't get raped at Taco Bell, right? Yeah. Good just go to taco bell and stay in my car that seems like the won't get raped at taco bell right yeah good to go so i went to taco bell burger king was next taco bell and i was so close to swinging over to burger king but i was like i think i'll feel less bad about myself if it's taco bell really yeah why are you acting like one of them is significantly more because taco bell is just tacos dude just some soft shell tacos. Taco Bell is garbage, dude. Yeah, but Burger King is so much worse. No, it's not.

So much worse. I knew if I went to Burger King, it was going to be fucking chicken fries, fucking three Whoppers. It was going to be a slop fest. It's all dog food. Yeah, I know. But it would have been. It would have been.

I promise you it would have been uglier if I went to Burger King. If I went to Burger King, there's a good chance I wouldn't be here right now. You would have just exploded. It would have been a fucking triple Zoloft kind of night. Stacking your Zolies? Oh, yeah.

There was a lot of stacking this weekend. Just like taking video of it with like eight Zolies in your mouth. My serotonin is going to go through the roof. Damn. Well, come to your next shows i guess yeah and then oh so then i'm i killed killed on saturday night the late show it was only why only

did dude i did three shows the whole weekend oh so there's only one show saturday one show friday one show saturday one show thursday because they merged the shows because i sold so poorly oh and you had 60 people at the one show and that was your only show of the night? Yeah. Yeah. I thought you had a show after that. No, no, no. It was just straight back in bed by 10, rolling around, just being like, what am I doing? It was one of those weekends where I was like, if my parents saw me right now, they would be disappointed. Definitely. They would be like, this is what you dropped out of college to do?

You gave it all up to be in the fucking days in. But, dude, I can't emphasize how good this Saturday show was. It was crazy. The Mexicans loved me. They put you back on top? Dude, they loved me. And they laugh. They must remember you from fishing.

They must have, dude, because they laugh. Oh, dude, their laugh is so much more satisfying than the white man's laugh. They must remember you from fishing. I don't. They must have, dude, because they laugh. Oh, dude, their laugh is so much more satisfying than the white man's laugh. Because they laugh like they're ashamed that they're laughing. They're like shaking. They're like, no, no. And I'm like, I got more. I got more coming. There's more of that.

Of that good shit. You like that good shit? What is oh, Lord in Spanish? Adios mio. Adios mio. Adios. There was a lot of that good shit you like that good shit it what is what is oh lord in in spanish adios there was a lot of that it was crazy it was crazy dude dude uh two white ladies in the front they left they hated it but the mexicans were like yeah get out of here But the Mexicans were like, yeah, get out of here. You call the police? Damn.

It was crazy. That's fucking, Mexicans have some of the best senses of humor of anybody. Oh, dude, they loved everything. Mexicans have incredible, fun senses of humor. It fucking rules. They loved it. It was crazy. Dude, there was this old Mexican dude this old mexican dude in the front row big ass mustache fucking buttoned up shirt dude is causing a scene because he is laughing

so hard like like i had to like stop because it was just him just howling and then i ended my set and everyone's clapping and i looked at him and he's not clapping and then he looked at me and made direct eye contact with me he goes like he just gives me a thumbs up and i was like that was better than any applause i've ever gotten in my entire life oh my god it was crazy yeah yeah you are true you might be mexican d-day i think i have to do like a mexico tour because he was like i mean little sasquatch in puebla it was crazy there dude there was like, I mean. Little Sasquatch in Pueblo. It was crazy. Dude, there was like every show there was probably like, that show was probably close to sold out. There was probably like 15 white people and then like 100 Mexican people. Really?

Yeah. That's so fucking awesome. It was crazy. How nice is it that you found your base with them? I wonder why they all came. They must like your name. Oh, no. It was just, they must have been giving the tickets away for free, for sure. Oh really? Yeah, absolutely. Free tickets, for sure. They just went down to the Home Depot parking lot? Oh yeah, for sure.

There's no doubt in my mind that not a single person in that room paid for a ticket. Damn. And if they did, they were probably like $2 tickets. But that's awesome though. It was probably like, use code laugh to get a 99 discount it's so much more enjoyable when you have it for free anyway oh yeah guarantee we walk out for sure so nobody bare minimum payment yeah yeah i made no money so nobody knew that you uh like no no no little sasquatch fans were out there the first night there was a couple there was it was so funny dude there was like it's like all these people and even if they're white it's like they're you know that they're from there because they've fucking they got like

the i was saying oh and they got braided beards like they're not they're not your normal whites from new york city they have like the hemp uh yeah yeah and then i look to the left on the first show and there's just this dude they're just sitting there and like a part in my take polo york city they have like the hemp uh yeah yeah and then i looked to the left on the first show and there's just this dude there just sitting there and like a part in my take polo with like curly hair and a mustache and i was like oh dude you're clearly don't live in bakersfield and he was like no i'm in town for work i decided to come by the show he was like dude it was like he he like i saw him and he like jumped out like, oh, you're definitely the only person that's here to see me right now. I feel like I can spot a Barstool fan from anywhere.

Yeah. And then I saw, I talked to him after the show. He's like, this is my third time seeing you. What? Yeah. You got to start giving people like discounts. Yeah. Like punch cards.

Yeah. Three times. It's incredible. You got to give them a free coffee after 10. Yeah. I don't know what what the reward should be that's what john taffer said dude that if you get go to someone's restaurant once it's a 40 chance you come back go twice it's a 40 chance you come back go three times

70 chance you come back damn so you just got a customer for life in this guy yeah it sounds like it yeah the the shows were all fun the shows were were not bad. You just said they weren't. Well, now I'm looking back on it, and I'm like, they were fun. It was more just the circumstance of being depressed. You needed an emotional support move that you could bring. The circumstances. Well, not having my emotional support move there was very difficult. Yeah, what did you...

It was just... Who was your opener? These local people. Yeah. Older men. 46. You asked them how old they were? They told me how old they were why i don't know we spent a lot of time together really the shows were long as hell the shows were like 10 minute host spot 10 minute guest spot 25 feature spot and then i go up what

the fuck yeah long shows so the two white ladies that left i think they were just we've seen enough because they were howling they they were they weren't howling that's an exaggeration they were like those weird white people they were clearly like they looked like they were very wealthy and they were like like i would make a joke and they would go that's hilarious no laugh and i'll be like thank you that is a great uh that is a great honor yeah do any crowd work no not really I tried to do a riff on the top on the first show about Shohei Otani no I that happened on in Irvine an old man made a joke an old man in the front row made a joke about Shohei Otani and I didn't know what was going on with Shohei Otani and I honestly to be honest I

forgot that his name was Shohei Otani and it was I looked like a damn fool I know someone tried to rat you out to me yeah I don't know why people do that what is the point of that yeah it sucks to be like what was what I was gonna get in trouble for not knowing Shohei Otani had a gambling problem yeah or just uh being like saying sass tried to do crowd work oh that's what they said yeah they said i tried to do crowd work i didn't try to try so fucked up i didn't try to do crowd work no it wasn't even crowd work i was making a joke about something and then someone else brought up the shohei otani thing and then i was like oh i don't even know what that is but look trust me bro i made it funny i fucking believe you you don't get into the 250 without not knowing

how to deal with shit like that i don't fuck with these snitches no it's crazy to snitch on me like that you don't think that the 250 has 250 each that they could send after one of you motherfuckers dude 250 brings 250 and then those 250 bring 250 and then what happens that's crazy but uh yeah dark weekend for sure the drive why don't you just not do the shows where you don't make money because you got to oh it was a battle there was a lot of colin francis being like i don't know what to do with myself yeah yeah and then like talking to my manager it was rough what'd you say to your manager stop booking me on these shows i was just like this is

yeah why are we doing this but then the worst part is that the shows went well well he needs his 25 percent no they don't get 25 oh yeah 50 no no but it is like i was bitching and moaning a lot in irvine to them and then i left and he grabbed you up by your collar and was like you have your whole career thanks to me yeah Yeah, pretty much. No, not at all. But then it was like then leaving and I was like, this show's actually going to end up being fun,

which sucks because that's like the ultimate victory for them. For me to be like, this sucks. I shouldn't be here. This is pointless. And then me leaving and being like, shows were actually really fun.

And then they're like, yeah, we knew that was going to happen. You should never admit that because now they can book you on anything. I know. Now I'm going to be doing a whole tour of fucking Southern California. You're going to be doing cruise ships. Or Northern California, I guess. You're going to happen you should never admit that because now they can book you on anything i know now i'm going to be doing a whole tour of fucking southern california you're going to be doing cruise northern california you're doing riverboat gambling on the mississippi like fucking tom sawyer yeah the drive from bakersfield back to la on saturday night was

dark 80 miles there's a high the highway leaving bakersfield is 80 miles just straight as an arrow yeah but what that's like 120 minutes to protect our parks so it was a lot of fucking turn the page bob seger oh you're listening to music yeah when do you divvy up when you listen to music and when you listen to uh potties it got to the point where i couldn't take any more music so i put on there you go listen to them talk about the JFK assassination. Fuck, what did they... Actually, go listen to that if you want to know what they said about that. Yeah, we don't want to spoil Protect Our Parks. It's only going to get 11 million views. No spoilers. Hopefully our 20,000 listeners

don't stop. Doesn't hurt Protect Our Parks views. Did you watch that Nickelodeon documentary yet? No. And I don't know if I'm going to. Why not? I don't know. I think I'm over hearing about kids being fucking touched and stuff. Why?

You know that that's just setting more kids up to be touched. If you don't listen to every gory detail about a kid getting touched, you know you're enabling the next kid getting touched. I don't really fuck with the kid stuff in true crime. Why? I like true crime when it's like it's adults. At least they've had a life. You want an adult to have been

molested, you mean? No, I don't like the molesting either. You want an adult to be killed. If an adult gets murdered, it's not as I mean, it is bad. So you'd rather have an adult get killed than a kid be molested no i don't know this is a tough question to answer i don't really think there's a right answer to that we need this for the clip i know but it's just like i don't know like there's something different about watching like the ted bundy documentary rather than watching like the

john wayne gacy documentary the john wayne gacy documentary i turned off because i was like this is way too dark interesting it's just like stories about him raping little boys and it's like all right fucking freak the uh drake bell was basically like anything you could have imagined happened to me yeah i won't say what happened but just use your imagination and come up with anything as crazy as possible and that's what they were doing to me that can't be true though well i mean not to not to dismiss drake bell but i mean like i mean watch the john wayne gacy documentary and then say anything you could imagine well what was jwg doing freak shit i think that's what i'm dressing up like a clown like i don't think schneider was dressing up as a clown and well it it wasn't Schneider. It was this other guy, Pickleman, that was doing it. Oh, really?

He's one of Schneider's minions. Damn. Well, I mean, I think that he could have been doing it. What was the... I didn't watch it, but what... Like, I'm not going to watch it. But what happened with... There was some...

John Wayne Gacy was a part of that documentary. I think that's why I keep on referencing him. I saw some Instagram reel where they were saying that, like, one of, like, the people working there had, like... Was, like, a pen pal with John Wayne Gacy. Really? Have you not watched the documentary? I've watched three episodes, but it was like, so on, uh, on Saturday I was like ready to

go out and, or like I was going to go to a buddy had a bachelor party in town that I was going to go to. They had a table at a beer hall from like seven to 10. Yeah. I took a nap beforehand and I woke up and I was middle school sick. Yeah. Like middle school sick. You know what I'm talking about you're talking about yeah yeah i was just moaning calling your mom yes i literally contemplated calling my mom i was like what am i gonna do yeah i felt like

a world war one like child or like a 19 year old getting like killed on the battlefield yeah like i needed to talk to my mom yeah i know exactly what you're talking about that's what happened to me when i was sick recently i had to call my mom and be like what do i do i had no idea what to do i'm like you're going back to like drinking ginger ale i just because like i don't know if that works but it's just i remember doing it when i was a kid i had ginger ale they like imodium but i was like i can't even take imodium because imodium will stop this diarrhea i'm having and i need everything out of my body yeah i was on the floor like dry heaving next to my toilet for hours until it was like the painful dry heaves where nothing's coming out but like except for like snot and tears a lot of tears are coming out it was so insane all this fluid

was coming out of my body yeah and so i like i would go run to shit in the bathroom like i couldn't even take my jeans off like i had jeans on and they were just like wait why are you in jeans when you're sick as fuck i so i i was gonna go out i just like napped on the couch and i was gonna get up and go out woke up sick as fuck and i'm just going back and forth to the bathroom i couldn't even change into the sweat pants i like my jeans halfway up my like thighs my ass hanging out sprinting to the bathroom like 11 times in a row that's how i play video games when i'm when i when i'm when i want to play so bad that i don't feel like changing i just walk around with my jeans unbuttoned it is a great feeling yeah having your jeans on but yeah just a wide open fly like a hot girl do you think when something like that happens, because I've had that happen where it's always after a nap.

I think the nap was like trying to figure it out for my body. Do you think if you didn't nap, you would have been sick? Do you think if you didn't nap and you just went out to that bar, do you think you're throwing up at the bar? Do you think you have a couple beers and you feel fine? No, that was an inevitable sickness that still resides in me. There's still a darkness in me. Interesting. If I hover over a toilet, it's going to be like a super soaker 9000 coming out of me.

It's going to be a fucking fire hose. So did you puke at all? I was puking. I was throwing up. I was fucking shitting. Have you eaten anything? It was like barely anything. So I tried to, well, one thing at a time.

So that's when I listened to, I was like on the couch, like rolling around, like moaning while my wife watched that documentary. So I was like in and out of consciousness. That's even worse. Just listening to fucking rape tales from the Nickelodeon days. Oh, girls love that shit. Girls love it. Yeah. it's so

insane yeah and so i hadn't eaten anything that that entire day 24 hours um but then my uh buddy mike was coming up for the fucking uh best man mike or mike wallace best man mike best man mike there's more mics that i know but i know you whittle it down usually when you reference a mic it's one of those no because last weekend i went down to go see another mike in uh philly who's mike who's baby i saw i went to the old house with mike oh yes yes yes yes newborn baby mike yeah new mike yeah oh because is that is that baby's name mike yeah yeah i think i i think i knew that yeah you knew that yeah you knew new mike but uh i what mike was coming up to go see the fucking tournament games. Yeah.

At Barclays. I saw you were there. So it was like. At the Barclays? At Barclays Center. Charles Barclays Center. Vaping at the Barclays? Yeah.

Dude. So I was like, I couldn't be like be like yeah let's just do this another time yeah there's one March Madness so I like I woke up feeling absolutely terrible but I'm like

I'm gonna go to this anyway you're like fuck it this is March I know yeah I had to fucking rise above yeah I literally brought

like dude wipes into the stadium that's crazy I brought a fat pack of dude wipes when I was leaving the house with them my wife was like are they even gonna let you in with those like i'm smuggling something that's

like you got i mean there's you also could make a case be like look it's either gonna be i would i would have told them if they like patted me down i would have been like i have diarrhea this is march i'm not gonna fucking skip march madness this was this was last diarrhea this is yeah last night yeah and i fucking is, yeah, last night. Yeah. And I fucking brought my dude wipes into fucking. Damn. What game did you go to?

I went to Duke, Duke JMU, and then UConn against Northwestern. Gee. Two terrible games. Really? I didn't watch. Back to back ass whoopings. I placed a bet last night and i tailed will compton and it won and i didn't even watch the game really yeah it just felt like it this is march i was

self-destruct i was on self-destruct mode last night i was like i'm just gonna spend money where i can take all my money yeah and i won 175 bucks you try and flush down the toilet the toilet spits it right back at you yeah you can't get rid of it no they didn't want me to lose yeah yeah that was the cosmos being like it more loss. I bet the over on that Houston-Texas A&M game, and it hit by 70 points. The over was 130,

and it ended up being 195. 180 to, yeah, 100 to 95, whatever. Great game. You actually missed out on a barn burner. A classic. I got a future on Houston to win it all. They're probably not going to, though. They lost. Or no, Houston won.

Houston won. Houston won. I have a future for UConn to win it all. Do you? Yeah. UConn looks fucking dirty. I have a future for UConn to win it all, parlayed with Iowa to win it all for the women's.

Really? Yeah. What's that pay out? $25. Pays out like 800 bucks. That'd be nice. Yeah. That's a nice little future $800. That'd be nice. Yeah. That's a nice little future.

Yeah. That might be completely wrong. Yeah, I'd say that. Yeah. That's a weekend in Bakersfield right there. The 25. Not the 800. The 800 is what your agent paid off it.

Yeah. The 800 would have been a residency in Bakersfield. You're the Bruno Mars of Bakersfield. I lost the check. So I got to tell them to wire me the money too. Left it in the fucking hotel at the LAX airport. The wiring fee is going to be as much as what the check was. Dude, have you ever stayed in a hotel airport?

Yeah. Dude, their deposit fee for incidentals is way higher than normal probably because they know you're just hopping a plane and get the fuck out of there two hundred dollars really i paid four hundred dollars well obviously you get the 200 back but it was 200 for the room yeah just asleep for the night yeah should have just stayed in the terminal dude i slept for fucking six hours yeah you should have just stayed in the terminal. Dude, I slept for fucking six hours. Yeah, you should have just stayed in the terminal. Yeah. Bill Murray. Crazy. Yeah, that's fucking, that's robbery.

Yeah, so anyways, you go to the Barclays Center. Shit my brains out. You're shitting at the center. I'm shitting at the center. Water. Water. That's so bad. My boy, Mike's texting me.

He's like, dude, we can leave if you want. I'm like, fuck no. Yeah, no, you don't want to make him leave. I'm fucking fine. Yeah. I've found, actually, there was, I went to the bathroom it was fine there was no line i left there's a massive line the rest of the time there was huge lines in the bathroom i found a fucking uh transgender bathroom oh all gender bathroom fluid gender fluid bathroom like that 50 cent photo

you ever seen that one where he's peeking out of the gender fluid bathroom it's hilarious but uh there was like a dude outside of it uh like a stadium worker not doing anything he was like this is employees only i was like it doesn't say it's employees only just shit at the precipice of my asshole yeah just a waterfall like fucking i know i know that feeling i know it's just there's it feels like there's a bubble and like right at. Yes, it's right there. As soon as it pops. And I was like, dude, doesn't say anything about it being. And he was like, well, the janitor doesn't like people going in here.

He likes to lock it. I was like, I'm fucking going. He's like, I'll make an exception for you. Oh, man. Did you tell him? No, I didn't tell him. But there was no line. I would have told him. And I came out and he was still just standing in front of it.

I would have told him. That must be where they fuck. They fuck in there for sure. They must be just sliding in there to like subtly fuck yeah someone goes in there but they were like crazy trains or some shit must be happening yeah crazy trains yeah surviving the barclay center that'll be a new documentary all the employees are running train but then so the only thing i so i hadn't eaten for two straight days i tried to have i tried to eat a hot dog in there oh dude i got a pretzel in the crazy it was the worst decision that's what you're gonna go back with i took two bites from a

fucking stadium and it has just been residing in my esophagus right here since then no this is like over this is probably 24 hours ago that this happened. Like when you swallow a pill without water and it just gets stuck. And every 15 minutes there's a burp and it just is like literal hot dog water is coming into my throat. Brother, I wish I felt bad. That's my own fault. That's your fault. Going from food poisoning to going to the... Probably like when you eat stadium food, it's a 50-50 shot of getting food poisoning.

Well, it was a kosher dog. You probably doubled down. It was a kosher. That doesn't mean anything. I figured it was blessed by a rabbi or something like that and I'd be good to go. I figured that they went to the meat factory and blessed all these so I shouldn't have a problem with it. Oh, brother. Dude, but Mike was going through the same thing and he wasn't even having the fucking food poisoning issues that I was.

Because he had the dog. No, he had the problem. Yeah, he had the problems with the dog. Yeah. And it wasn't even because of the food poisoning issues that i was because he had the dog no he had the yeah he had the problems with the dog yeah and it wasn't even because of the obviously dude i took two bites of it and it has stayed in my system it's been so fucked dude that means that you're gonna get you're gonna recover from food poisoning and then it's probably gonna come back right away like i just burped right now there's just dog in there yeah a whole different animal i wonder if you double down you think if you double down on food poisoning it reverses it's like they cancel each other out yeah it could be the unstoppable force and the immovable object that's why i was trying to send in the

fucking hot dog like gangbusters i was trying to send it in there like ice yeah like you just like have another drink in the morning yeah the hair of the dog yeah literally yeah and so then this morning i was like in in bed i've been feeling gradually better over the last couple days you came in here looking rough yeah i lost nine pounds over fucking three days yeah you came in here and i was like either someone died or something is very wrong yeah it's been fucking liquid out my ass yeah and i was like laying sideways in bed just like trying to sleep it off turned over sideways and i like hershey squirt oh in the boxers not a hershey squirt in the boxers run to the bathroom to go fucking throw throw uh like just to go shit liquid yeah just to fucking put a yoo-hoo in the toilet bowl and uh and i i like through the i was, get these fucking underwear. I threw them in the corner of the bathroom.

I fucking walk out of the bathroom. The dog has shit on the fucking floor. I go to clean up the dog shit, and the dog has taken my shit underwear into her cage, dude. It was a morning from hell. Oh, that's so bad. I've been going through the ping pong match of hell. What time was this? Probably 8.45. Oh oh just starting off my day mike just seeing me in my fucking underwear like

picking up fucking dog oh mike stayed at your place yeah he stayed at my place oh no he got the day off uh this is march bro yeah for march this is march he had to get the day off he convinced his uh his foreman at his union job to to marry his girlfriend so had to get the day off. He convinced his foreman at his union job to marry his girlfriend so he could get the day off. The dude did it. That's crazy. The dude married his girlfriend so she could get health benefits. Hell yeah. She has hepatitis.

That's awesome. From heroin use. Have I met this Mike? Yeah. This is, oh, this is best man Mike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, yeah. I met him a bunch of times.

Great Mike. We DM on occasion Do you? Yeah Send him one now Hell no I don't wanna He's busy

No he's not He just took the day off He's driving back to Philly I don't wanna bug him While he's got the day off You can't get fired On your day off He's got Friday off too bro

He's fucking Damn Is he coming back down? No It's Easter Shit The Lord's rising bro I know I forgot that Jesus Is coming back to us on Sunday What areter the lord's rising bro i know i forgot that jesus is coming

back to us on sunday what are you about to do for jesus's return i gotta go home yeah not for easter well i gotta go home because i'm gonna go see larry david on monday with my parents with the fam yeah and now my mom's like you're coming home for easter right and i was like i was gonna come i was gonna fly to boston monday night and then fly home monday night what like i was planning on being in boston for like two hours is that possible or i was gonna like there's no way there's red eyes from boston to new york well the thing is it the problem is that i got i'm going to providence the weekend that weekend so it's like then i i don't know if i'm gonna just stay the weekend of the fourth or the weekend of the weekend of the fourth okay so it's a lot of travel yeah that's fucked fucking brutal your mom

probably thinks you know larry david oh 100 absolutely she's one of the guys you work with yeah she absolutely thinks that she probably like i know my mom and I know in the back of her head she thinks that like we're going to get invited like backstage to hang out with Larry David. They have such a warped percentage of my career. Perception. Or a warped perception of my career. Yeah. Your agent's the one getting a warped percentage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eating your ass alive out here fucking agents let's talk about the gentleman the gentleman is a brand new tv show streaming only on netflix it follows criminal drug dealing murdering aristocrats in britain's criminal underworld all right it's starring theo james from the white lotus great actor it's starring Theo James from The White Lotus. Great actor. It's Guy Ritchie's brand new hit TV show. Based on his movie, they made it into a show, and it is

on Netflix right now. I definitely would recommend it. It's full of fucking Virgin Mary. They're saying it's Virgin Mary, full of weed, Hitler's balls, cocaine, chickens, and a priest with a shotgun. You'll see some crazy shit in The Gentleman. All right?

I'm definitely going to check it out. I love Guy Ritchie's work. I've seen all of his stuff, this show. I've heard nothing but great things about. Go check it out now. The Gentleman is streaming right now on Netflix. Watch what happens when you try to play gangsters at their own game. Don't miss The Gentleman now on Netflix, watch what happens when you try to play gangsters at their own game. Don't miss The Gentleman now on Netflix.

All righty, let's talk about Game Time. Game Time. Game Time is the official ticking partner of Barstool Sports, and it's our favorite, fast, and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. That's right. sports music comedy and theater events near you that's right so if you want to go see perhaps ronnie chang at the orpheum theater theater directly next to madison wisconsin directly next to where we perform are you serious that we had to i love him through his line in no way to our show which had no line and we looked at his line and thought maybe some of these people are

in the wrong line not one not one and you got to assume tickets to that show are pretty pricey so that's why you should use game time last minute tickets flash deals zone deals yes see he's performing in rooms so big that you actually can pick which zone you want to sit in. Yeah, you could get crowd work. You could get splash zone, nosebleeds, whatever you want, honestly. But they're all a great deal because with Game Time, you pick where you want to sit. You get to, I mean, you're right up front to Chang. Yeah. Which is the dream.

You want to be as close as you can when you're at a show like that. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the time app create an account use code boy dad for 20 off your first purchase terms apply again create an account and redeem code boy dad for 20 off download game time today last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed yeah agents i mean you guys should start a class action suit against agents because they're fucking robbing you guys oh yeah big time now i like my agent of course uh there was a class action suit of uh against realtors because all realtors are taking six percent and they make a hundred billion dollars a year wait they're taking they take six percent of everything every time they like sell a house yes that's ridiculous how crazy is that so if you sell a house for a million dollars your realtor

automatically gets sixty thousand dollars even though you found the house on like redfin or zillow or whatever like you fucking scheduled everything yourself and then a realtor automatically gets that yeah i had to do that when i fucking signed my apartment that I live in now. I was like, dude, I found the house on Zillow. I scheduled the meeting to go see the apartment. The guy doesn't even show up. He's just like, buzz in and I'll let you in. And then I go see it. And then he's like, all right, do you want to sign?

Like all over text. And then I meet up with him in person to give him like $5,000 or some shit. Yeah, it's insane. I was like, are you are you kidding me dude it must be the sweetest job well it's a it's a it's just like a hack that's why you see so many people who are just like sleazeballs fuck-ups or just like the laziest people because i think it's just really easy to get your realtor license yeah it's like everyone that drops out of college they just become a realtor and they start making like millions of dollars they're just like i just want to chill but also occasionally get sixty thousand dollars just dropped into my bank account that's crazy or i think it's maybe three

percent goes to so you pay sixty thousand three percent goes to the selling agent and three percent goes to the buying agent but still just thirty thousand dollars just i mean if you're selling multiple houses a week yeah you're a fucking cake i told you about how the my the realtor asked me if i wanted to get into the comedy cellar oh yeah because he was like i work with with gnome the owner and i was like dude that's not how i want to get into the comedy cellar is having my realtor recommend me that's how all the greats did it that's how rock got in how'd you get in here dude oh my realtor suggested me dude had never seen me he was just like i'm a big comedy fan i can get you in i

get you anywhere store seller mothership the store fucking a i've had some nights there oh my god the best you've never even fucking been to the store, honestly. No, I haven't. Sad. I think I'm doing a show there in June. Really? The Belly Room. 60 capacity. Oh, I know all about the Belly Room.

So we're going to try and see if I can get my best Mexicans out there. Bring them in like a fucking bus full of migrants. I'd love to do a show in LA and have it only be Mexicans and all the whites can't get tickets. You should book it as that. I know. Little sass, Mexicans only.

Yeah. The Mexicans only tour. Bring your 23 and me at the door. Yeah. That would be awesome. The Mex, I mean, dude,

greatest crowd in the world. Mexicans are incredible. Yeah. I got to start doing more Mexicans. There was a Mexican. More Mexican shows. That sounded wrong yeah

doing mexican like pickle man yeah uh the uh one of the dudes at the kitchen at the ale house uh mexican bro alfonso yeah mike was just there uh on uh on saturday and he was in the kitchen and the mexican dude alfonso was like donde, ¿Dónde está tu amigo Tortuga? And he's talking about me, bro. I don't know what that means. Where's your friend Tortuga, which means a turtle, because when I worked there, I just moved slow as fuck. Oh, really?

Yeah, they fucking, I mean, 10 years plus removed, and they're still asking about me. They still remember you. The Mexicans, bro. The turtle. This dude, Alfonso, is like this 4'8 Mexican dude who just, like, is fucking wider than foot eight Mexican dude who just like is fucking wider than he is tall.

Oh, yeah. Just fucking can carry anything. Yeah. Fucking just a brick shithouse. And like there's always these like teenage like punks that come through, these pimply faced white kids that come through. One time one of the kids, like he was washing dishes. One of them came up behind him and pulled on his ponytail and he just turned around

and kicked the kid square in his balls. incredible move yeah that's awesome took absolutely no shit from anybody that's crazy you gotta do that though you can't let another man touch your hair like that especially a little boy like that yeah just because he's like a tall skinny white boy yeah you're getting kicked in the fucking ball i beat the shit out of him i fucking kill them yeah honestly yeah like the sinaloa cartel yeah you wind up on a jeff nadu tiktok what he didn't know his little sasquatch had a lust for blood you ever watch his tiktoks who's jeff nadu no i've seen i know he used to do the mob ones yeah he does but he does like cartel and like mob shit. It's fucking incredible.

Apparently MS-13's got quite the presence in Bakersfield. What if it was like the gang lords of MS-13? I might have been doing a show. Yeah, and they love me. What if a cartel boss is like, Lil Sash, we're going to pay you $15 million to come down to fucking Juarez and you're going to do shows for us. I would do it for sure.

I would absolutely do it. If like they reached out to my agent as like it was like a corporate gig, like we're sending you out to MS-13's headquarters. No, your agent would be like, we have $500,000 for you. I would absolutely do it. Yeah. You got to do it then. Or I heard, I mean, there's a lot of East Coast.

There's a lot of East Coast cartels. Yeah, but they don't fuck with i don't fuck with the east coast ones i only like the west coast ones oh really yeah they're way better yeah it is different though because the the the west coast the the mexicans in ontario hated me oh ontario california yeah but that was last year so maybe i was just way worse yeah because this year they loved me you can't have been way worse though i think i probably was maybe it was a different maybe you said something offensive to them maybe did you change much of your material i guess i got it like new probably new like 20 minutes of the 40 i mean of the hour so there's 40 that they could have already heard yeah maybe they're just gone off the Modellos Yeah maybe

They didn't like my jokes about not drinking Yeah They hated that Yeah definitely And then I want them back with my playing stuff And my shit jokes Yeah those are always play Shit jokes and playing stuff

Maybe a little masturbation stuff They loved the shit stuff Yeah I mean pretty much flipping tables over because they were laughing so hard. It is so... It's like, dude, they're laughing like they're like, this is so wrong. That's what makes it the best. Being chill.

Aye, aye, aye. It's so funny, dude. Coming down from that show was weird because I got off stage and just went straight to my car like i got off stage my car was parked out back went straight to my car and went to la and i was like coming down from that like the whole drive it was like a very odd feeling i'm just picturing you in like a sombrero and mexican hot soccer jersey yeah i was listening to that fucking song that song uh, it's in Spanish. Me and Gardini were singing it when we were in San Diego.

It's the one that's like... It's like a white person Spanish song. Is it the Bieber one? It might... No. Fuck, what is it? I'll text Gardini and ask him. Yeah, you've got to get to the bottom of this.

We need to figure out what this Spanish song is. It is. It's a funny song. Should I just call Gardini? Yeah. Get him as a feature on the app. Yeah, that'll be huge. He definitely won't answer.

No, he definitely won't. Tell him he's live to tape. You gotta tell him he's live to tape. He's not gonna answer. He's definitely asleep tape. You gotta tell him he's live to tape. He's not gonna answer. He's definitely asleep or some shit. Fucking asshole. Dickhead. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.

Oh! They got my shit in spanish now they got my shit in spanish i didn't even set that up myself how the hell did that happen it's his shit his shit yeah dude i told you it shit changes when you go out west they got his shit in spanish what the well that was english yeah but it was a Spanish accent for sure. Your call has been... Charcoal had been falling into the bush, man. It's got to be Texas. It's because he's in... What the fuck?

That was crazy. Great timing. Yeah, that was a blessing from Gardena. Oh, I remember it. It's the one where it's like uh it's like i'm leaving today how does it go is that wait that's a country song i know but it's in spanish everyone was bumping that out in bakersfield dude or is

that uh that's bakersfield zach brown band i think it's that brown band adios i'm leaving today there was a lot of that driving back to L.A. I'm leaving today. That's the whitest song. Zach Brown. My bartender, she's from the islands with a body that's been kissed by the sun. That's a way of saying she's Mexican. Oh, man. Her body's been kissed by the sun. That's a way of saying she's Mexican. Oh, man.

Her body's been kissed by the sun. It was great. That's hilarious. It was a dark drive home, though. Drive home was not as fun as I'm making it out to be. I stopped at a truck stop. So this highway back, it's 80 miles straight. Wrong fucking person.

It's Bo. I don't got time for this bullshit take bow hell no get gardini and bow on the same app i know that's crazy that's big numbers dude last week's episode big numbers did it calling it the episode that broke the internet all because of a dirty lie i told a dirty lie i did that i'm not even kidding i that like i like i felt it in my stomach when you texted me and said it wasn't true. I told you on the episode. I know, but I didn't believe you because I thought you were just covering up your tracks.

How would that be covering my tracks? I don't know. And then I, and then I, and then I texted you and then you said it wasn't true. And I was like. I literally like ran into someone at the show. One single tear fell down. They're like, I fucking love sass or whatever. I'm like, yeah, I'm coming up with like a story to tell on the podcast about this show right now dickhead what do you mean i think the

real story there's like a bill murray story where he's like fucking yeah i think he was like washing the dishes in someone's kitchen at a house party no it was just a classic like funny story that ends up making me look like i'm fucking retarded somehow i don't think everyone's like classic sass hasn't heard the bill murray story has he no it's like uh oh and let me guess how many how many super bowls has wayne gretzky won people are picking it up it's like a gossip story i know i saw that someone was trying to do like a report on it except then baby gronk just rizzed up ryan or uh whatever the fuck his name is jake gyllenhaal did you see the mcgregor stuff yeah yeah that guy's in bad shape that actually made my shit look very believable i know but uh what he was fine at the movie

mcgregor yeah he was fine uh every interview i've seen of him in the last two weeks has been like that i mean i don't know when that shit happened but he was literally fine at the movie i mean he must be doing did you see the robbie interview? He was fine. Because he was probably just did a line. Whatever you gotta do. Yeah. Whatever you gotta do to get right. Jump above the comedown. That's what Jake Gyllenhaal told me. Yeah, yeah.

He told me that too. Jake Gyllenhaal. What? Yeah, I ran into him at the truck stop bathroom in Bakersfield. What? And he said, tell Roni's socks ass. And I was like, yeah. And he said, noonnie sucks ass and i was like yeah and he said no one will believe you what yeah no yeah yeah your joy in that story was what made it so much funnier oh it's a great story yeah it's a great story i'm trying to work on my storytelling all to be a lie i mean great storytelling is great storytelling i'm trying to work on my storytelling. All to be a lie. I mean, great storytelling is great storytelling.

I'm trying to, that's like a skill I'm trying to hone. You know, it was Kobe's ninth skill that he was trying to hone. Was storytelling? Yeah. He was pretty good at it. Kobe? Yeah. Well, because he worked on it as a craft.

LeBron's good at it. No, LeBron's terrible at it. LeBron's a great storyteller. What's a good story he's told? He's great. He tells whoppers. Yeah. He tells fibs. But that's good. I mean, he's great he tells whoppers yeah he tells fibs but that's good i mean that's what you did you you just told the fib yeah but mine was like an

intentional fib so were his no not intentional that's what they want that's what he wants you to think no he's trying to trick you no that's what he wants you to think it's all it's all part of his image lebron's trying to fool you it's all part of his image i'm gonna ask him tomorrow night as bucks lakers yeah yeah you're going yeah of course you have to go are you like is this like part of your contract you got to go to every single pat bev game and watch him stink up the fucking court don't you fucking say that get one three-pointer the whole game don't you fucking say that he's the only player i've ever seen in the nba who it's like celebrated if he gets one if he makes one point well your bitterness is a ugly shade on you i mean mean, it's crazy. Like if I went on DraftKings right now, it would be like Pat Bev picks,

touch the ball over or under.5. Your bitterness is such a stinky cologne. It's literally making me sick to my stomach to smell it in the room right now. I'm just saying. I'm just speaking the truth, dude. Have you ever watched – People hate – Have you watched the NBA game?

Yeah, I watched some of the celtics bucks game did you i just had to make sure my celtics were taking care of the bucks properly pat bev had nine belts first half belt to ass i was so close to tweeting belt to ass but i didn't want to get like that would cause issues that would have been hilarious no because i feel like it's getting we're getting to that point where it's like if you in the podcast war you're definitely picking pat bev over this show no way bro absolutely what are you talking about i feel like if i tweeted belt to ass it would have been fucking it would have been like a call from you being like yo you got to delete that when have i ever made you delete or have i ever even been serious about yo for real like i i know

i'm not i don't know usually to do, but like you got to delete that post. I got Giannis texting me right now. Giannis is on my ass. Dave's on my ass. They're fucking pissed. I can't believe Perez abandoned you courtside. He had the bubble guts. That actually could be where I got it.

Oh, he got the bubble guts. Yeah, he would. He had like the shits. That's a good story. See, we should have led with that. That's storytelling. You need the hook for people. Yeah.

So we go to the Celtics game and Dave has the shits, right? Yeah. We get in. We have our little salmon or whatever. At halftime, we're about to go back to our seats and Dave is like, I need a second. Find me a private bathroom. Gardini's calling me. All right.

Here we go. Gardini. Hello. What's up? You're live to tape on Son of a Boy Dad. What was the song we were singing

in Sandy? All right. That's all we needed. Thank you. Yeah. That's what... Roan thought it was by Jimmy Buffett.

No, I didn't. Fucking dumbass. I said Zach Brown Band. Roan's a... isn't ron a dumbass you said you thought that was a mexican song you thought it was a fucking mexican song oh also gardini why is your voicemail in a in a hispanic voice i didn't know that was the case dude when we called you it was it was like uh it was like leave your voicemail after the beep. I swear to God, I'm not even joking. That's how it sounded.

Really? Yes. I think it's because you're in Texas. It could be because I'm in Texas. I may have been hacked by a Mexican guy. Yeah, I don't know. All right. Talk to you later.

It's a podcast. TTYL. TTYL. Let's talk to you later. It's a podcast. TTYL. TTYL. Let's talk to you later. I think it's adios and vaya con Dios. I think you can just make it up as you go along. I think they're the easiest phrases to say. It's like adios.

I mean, he's rhyming God with God. Adios with God. And vaya con Dios. Go with God. Adios with God. And vaya con Dios. Go with God. Adios and vaya con Dios. Adios que la elos cabios. I'm leaving today. Anyway, Dave's courtside fucking shitting his pants.

Shitting all over the court. It's fucking running down his leg. Do they have to bring out the big mop? Yeah. Like somebody spilled. Yeah, starts smearing his shit all over the place kick over that high noon so it looks like to dilute my shit water that's crazy i didn't think when you got to that level of money you got sick like that

oh yeah like i always imagine like food poisoning is more of the poor man's game you think so you think it's like something that happens on the galleys of a ship while you're going across the atlantic ocean to find a better life in America. Yeah, you shouldn't be getting food poisoning fucking when you're worth $100 million. But those are the people that have fragile stomachs because they're not eating the shit. Ah, yeah, they're not.

Like if you went to Taco Bell, it's shit city. Well, if you're going to Taco Bell regularly, your stomach is steeled to that kind of shit. That's like me. Yeah, I mean, you probably haven't got sick. Dude, I was- No, I had explosive diarrhea last night. yeah but not sick that's not being sick no that's routine yeah that's normal that's how you shit yeah but i've been congratulating myself like two days earlier being like damn i haven't got sick in a fucking minute oh that happens to me all the time i fucking feel incredible yeah like i don't it's fucking nothing because you get to

bragging you start bragging i was bragging forever being like i haven't thrown up since i was in sixth grade that was my big from not not from drinking but i was like i haven't thrown up from being six in sixth grade i was telling everyone that for years everyone's got a plan until you get smacked in the teeth bro everyone has a plan until you have a half hot dog at barclays exactly exactly that now resides in my esophagus haunting me like a chupacabra yeah chupacabra that's so that's what the mexicans probably thought that they were signing up for probably yeah a live show a live telling of the chupacabra dude how about this bro uh bruno mars did you see this shit that he fucking 50 million gambling debt yeah it's a lot of debt but did you see that now he since he has to pay off that debt he's only making 1.5 million

a show at MGM what was he making before that's what I'm saying that's like a lot of fucking money 1.5 million a show so what he has to do 50 shows then he's back in the green no no he's making 1.5 million a show still and they're taking the rest to clear his debt yes so he's he's back in the green no no he's making 1.5 million a show still and they're taking the rest to clear his debt yes so he's he's been bumped down to 1.5 million so he's well so he's so how many shows does he have to do until he's in the green he's in the green he's already in the green they're taking his money he's obligated to do these shows they've taken money off the top and he still gets 1.5 million so he can build up a whole other fucking gambling debt to them oh so he's rich as fuck yes

1.5 he's getting 1.5 million dollars a show after he pays off mgm the 50 million how do you get into i don't even know if we're allowed to talk about this but how does how does how do you get into gambling debt in like the modern world of betting where it's all i think you get markers from casinos i think that you don't put the cash in oh i see i see that makes sense i don't fucking know though i've never been close to because like every time i've gone to a casino it's been like you spend what i lose two hundred dollars i'm sick yeah yeah you have two hundred dollars and then you lose it on roulette and then you go home yeah you go back up to your room five minutes later it's not i'm not like well what if i gave you my fitbit how much how much could we make happen with that? Give me an extra $20.

That is how they portray it in old gambling. Yeah. I don't know. Well, even with sports betting, it's all you can't spend what you don't have. Yeah, you can't put your watch in the game anymore. Which is good. That's how it should be. You shouldn't be able to put your watch up.

No. You should just keep your watches. You should be able to keep your watch, and you should spend what you reasonably can afford to spend. That's what I always have been saying. That's what I, you've been saying that forever. I learned that from you. No, but you say it too.

We said it once at the same time while we looked into each other's eyes. Yeah, I remember that, yeah. I placed my hand on top of yours and we shared a one strand of spaghetti. And we said, please bet responsibly. Yeah. We laid it in the tramp

to a fucking long ass strand of spaghetti. It is one of my favorite things to do gamble responsibly responsibly it's fun march madness gambling is very fun i just can't get into it i don't like betting really outside of football march i mean these like the this past weekend of just betting every game is extremely fun yeah i don't know enough about it you don't know anything about football either don't know anything about football either i know so much about football you know people have been clowning you actually because of what the the uh because you said just the jefferson yeah and that trade wound up happening

right people have been clowning you and the trade happened right clowning and justin jefferson is on the bengals now right no but you were saying that he's still he still hasn't signed a new contract yeah but i said he wasn't going to the bank you said you said you just said he just signed a massive contract and everyone was like oh hold the phone no he hasn't i said he wasn't going to the bengals play the fucking tape people are saying he might go to the patriots now dude the patriots are never going to get in i heard the patriots are going to get relegated to college did you know that the celtics have won and uh 17 championships and they were all when black guys weren't allowed to play basketball that's not true they won with kevin garnett anything is possible that was the

first one yeah when black guys were allowed i mean it's crazy being a boston fan six superbowls six stanley cups 17 n championships, and nine World Series. Who's that, Pepev? It's O'Malley. Grace O'Malley? Yeah, I guess. Interesting. Should I take it?

No. We're almost done. They're probably going to try and pull you into something else. No, I checked to see what time it was. Oh, we're already at like an hour and five minutes. Time flies when you're having the best time of your entire goddamn life. Time flies when you haven't talked to someone in person in five days. Same, I haven't either.

I had a drop of alcohol this weekend and i haven't and i didn't like talk to anybody except for mike yeah i haven't talked to i mean dude crazy the i'm not even kidding dude when i pulled into that truck stop it was me and one 18 wheeler and i went inside and it's just this short white dude screaming at the cashier guy being like, I put $5 in. Also, he's talking about putting $5 in. Dude, you have an 18-wheeler. He put $5? $5 of gas in an 18-wheeler is what you get across the street? What the fuck?

So he's yelling about that. And then the dude is just blatantly ignoring him. And then I go in and I'm like, can I use the bathroom? And he's like, yeah, it's in the back. Oh, that's got to be a nasty bathroom. It looked like if you went to like a haunted house and they turned the lights on. That's what the bathroom looks like. Like shit on the, like blood on the walls.

Shit hanging from the ceilings. Horror film? Like carpet hanging from the ceilings. It was the craziest thing. Upside down bathroom? Yeah. And then I had to get, I went to that, I went to that truck stop because i had to empty my car of trash before i returned it yeah and uh and i left the fishing rod just up against the gas pump and then i just peeled out of there

you left the fishing rod behind yeah that's what i always do is that what you were doing at uh at walmart yeah buying a rod? Yeah. Damn. They're $20, and I'm not going to fly home with a spin rod. So you're just burning $20 every trip? Yeah, to go fishing for five hours. It's plenty worth it. Yeah, I guess so. Then I'd spend $20 on a license.

You're like how Allen Iverson used to leave his shoes behind in every hotel room after every basketball game. Yeah. He'd leave a pair of in every hotel room after every basketball game. Yeah. He'd leave a pair of white worn ones, Air Force Ones. Yeah. I mean, I could realistically, I could just leave it in the hotel, but I feel bad. I don't want to make the fucking, I don't want to make the housekeeping people have to deal with a fishing rod. Were you telling me the story about the comedian who fucking put mustard all over the fucking Air Force Ones? No, I think that was Francis. That's so funny.

Over the Air Force Ones. ones covered them in mustard and ketchup so no one else could wear that yeah it's crazy that's an incredible story fuck i wish it was mine so i couldn't make a lie about it i know my greatest joy in life yeah i felt like i was gonna have more to say about bakersfield but i guess it really wasn't as bad as i thought it was it was just long a lot of travel what'd you do during the day i do i traveled every day that's fucking brutal yeah so i stayed the first night i stayed in irvine second night bakersfield third night lax airport wake up oh my oh that was this was funny on the plane boarding the plane 7 a.m or it's 6 a.m because those long cross-country flights board an hour before so it's six in the morning boarding

that's brutal yeah and there was that lax security like easy as fuck oh really surprisingly yeah i got there 40 minutes i was at my gate 40 minutes before boarding. I was furious. No Delta lounge? No, I flew United. Cheaper by a mile. Yeah, because you're sitting on a fucking plastic seat that was ripped out of a middle school. I was laying down. You were in United 1? Yeah, less than $1,000 for United 1. What?

Yeah. I stand corrected. United might be the new move. Really? Yeah. And I looked at Delta, $2,000 for a ticket. And that's cheap. Usually it's fucking $3,000. i looked at delta two thousand dollars for a ticket and that's cheap usually it's fucking three thousand who's paying three thousand dollars for a flight you is the answer that's not true um barstool true yeah uh so i i board the flight

exhausted like i haven't slept in 72 hours so it's not you're not getting good sleep it's terrible sleep except for the 62 hours you got it or the six hours you got at uh the airport hotel yeah but that doesn't count because it's bad sleep exactly you're fucking rolling around all night so i'm exhausted board the plane sit down there's a field trip of probably it's a big plane it's like a 300 person plane probably 75 people on the plane were like 13 year old kids and the flight attendant let a girl do the announcements on the plane so it's six in the morning and there's this girl going over being like ladies and gentlemen welcome to your flight to new york and then and then you hear the flight and be like it's newark newark not new york and then she's like newark and like all her friends laughing and i was like oh

you notoriously hate children no but i hate children at six in the morning that's hilarious it was i i i was i was jealous of them though that's uh it makes me sick when people try to be cute on the announcements i saw a video of a dude doing a uh like a fucking like a bugs bunny voice on the announcement like one of the flight attendants doing a bunch bunny voice with like the other flight attendant with like fuck me eyes being like this is the cutest thing and yeah all white passengers i would fucking blow my brains out myself if that happened yeah they'll be going straight into the pentagon i would that's probably what there was a grown man doing bugs bunny voice at six in the morning i would lose i would speak i would say something yeah you gotta say you gotta be like dude cut the shit what the fuck are you doing you bastard yeah this shit no one wants to hear this so with

like a guitar yeah whenever there's like choirs on a fucking plane, everybody's trying to sing together. That's my worst nightmare. Or I saw a TikTok of a big girl on a plane recently and she was like, I'm an oversized traveler. Of course I have to walk sideways down the aisle. Oh yeah, I saw that video too. I'm an oversized traveler. Of course I have to sit next to my smallest family member. I like it seeing you. No, you're an oversized person.

You're not an oversized traveler. You're an oversized person. You're not an oversized traveler. You're an oversized human, which is fine, but don't be narrowing it down to specific situations. And the fact that she's filming it on the plane. Yeah. Who's with her that's going to film this video for her? This is obviously a planned video. Probably her undersized friend she was probably she probably went in skinny and she was like i'm gonna get oversized for this video just so i can make this video oh i saw this on my way to la boarding the

plane again six in the morning in newark and they're doing the whole thing uh if any military people or disabled people who need extra assistance getting on the plane you're now pre-boarding disabled girl shows up broken leg let's relax on the disabled thing right entourage 20 people you get one person and maybe if you're like steven hawking level you get two yeah right you don't get 13 people someone to push the wheelchair someone to wipe the drool yeah if you're not drooling if you're not drooling you don't get more than two people you don't get more than one person she had an entourage of 13 people getting onto the plane because she had a broken leg that's insane crazy i saw it going out of chicago this week i saw a parade of elderly indian people in wheelchairs. Oh, yeah. And had their own line in security.

Yeah. They took back the red tape and had a completely new line for these elderly Indians. Yeah. All in wheelchairs. Everyone younger than the person behind them. Yeah, doesn't make any sense. By the end, it was like an eight-year-old in a wheelchair.

Everyone just piled into wheelchairs. You think they're faking it? Yes. Absolutely. I think that's the new move i think people they throw on a fake cast they bring 14 of their clothes but there were so many people yeah disney disney's a big one oh my god disney they got the wheelchairs as soon as you get off the plane they're like all right who needs to who needs assistance who wants to gain the system at

disney yeah who wants to steal from walt that fucking freak. That cryogenically frozen bastard. Is he frozen? Yeah, of course. They froze Walt? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, they made the movie Frozen. Oh, yeah.

Actually, yeah. I think you told me about that. Yeah, that's crazy. Frozen Disney, because it's not about that anymore. Damn. Crazy. All right. We're going to let it go, though.

We're going to let it go. It's a Frozen joke. We're going to let it go, though. We're going to let it go. It's a frozen joke. We're going to let it go. We'll see you guys on Thursday. Thanks. I'm going to be in Providence, Rhode Island, April 4th, 5th, and 6th. Happy birthday, Francis. Make sure you say happy birthday, Francis.

If you want to say happy birthday to me, come to my show. It's on April 4th, 5th, and 6th. That is my birthday. Yes. Goodbye. We'll see you guys on Thursday. Talk to' A.