Son of a Boy Dad - Misbehaving | Son of a Boy Dad #311

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

Misbehaving | Son of a Boy Dad #311 -- #Ad: Connect with a provider at RO.co/SON to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you and get $15 off your first order -- #Ad: Go to https://vuori.com/BOYDAD for 20% off your first purchase. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Alrighty, welcome back to the son of a boy, dad podcast. We are here live from HQ Tres. Welcome. Someone offered you a Reese's cup and $20, or a Twix bar and $25. Which one are you taking? Reese's every time, and it's not close at all. With less money.

Yes. With enough money that you could buy a Reese's. I would take the Reese's with $0 over the Twix with 25. You hate Twix that much? It's not a Twix guy. Twix is one of those foods that I take a bite of and I'm like, that hurt my teeth. Calling Twix a food is funny too.

One of those candy, one of them candies. One of those, one of the essential food groups. I got nasty with the candy last night. I haven't had gummies in probably like two months. You've been off the gummies. I've been off the candy last night. I haven't had gummies, so I haven't had gummies in probably like two months. You've been off the gummies. I've been off the gummies completely. I think that's one thing that we all like. We all like gummies, yeah.

Yeah, so I've been off the gummies for a while because they're not good for you. They're probably really bad for you, so I had stopped eating them, but then last night I pigged out and I got those sweet tart ropes and my God, were they incredible? Like I got, I was like, I'm just gonna have like two,

toss the rest of them, you know? I had the whole bag. And I really didn't feel bad about it at all. I didn't feel bad about it because I was like, I haven't had gummies in a while and also these are fucking incredible. I was like, there's no way I'm eating one of these things. Isn't it amazing how all they had to do was come up with the term cheat day and then we

all just all of a sudden we're like well at least once in a while I can have four pints of ice cream. Oh yeah yeah yeah. Who's the father of the cheat day? I wonder who came up with that brilliant marketing phrase. Yeah. He was the. Yeah. But he wasn't the original. Oh he created. Yeah, he was the yeah.

But he wasn't the original. Oh, he created. He made it a hot song. Who made it a hot line? Speaking of hot song, do you see Will Smith is making new music? Yeah. And it's like really bad. I don't think it's that bad. Did you see a pretty woman one? Yeah, I thought that was fine.

That was one of the worst songs I've ever heard. What like what's what's the difference between that and like any other song where someone's like, I like that was fine. That was one of the worst songs I've ever heard in my entire life. What's the difference between that and any other song where someone's like, I like lots of girls? That song sounded like it would be a theme song, like a game show. They said if you speed it up to 1.25 or slow it down to 0.75, it fixes it. It's just like, I don't know like It's Will Smith. Okay Cuz like recently like everything I see him in it He kind of gives the vibe like it's like someone who's like not doing yeah, dude

I mean look what happened did you dude I read that I don't know if this is true But I read that he lost one billion dollars from the Chris Rocks lab I'd be surprised and now he only has ten billion. Yeah. I'd be surprised. And now he only has $10 billion. Yeah. I'd be surprised if that were true. I mean, in terms in, I could see it being in terms of like brand deals and sponsorships that he lost. You mean for other companies or something like that?

I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. Like they said, when Louis got in trouble, they said that he lost $30 million or he said he lost $30 million. But that has to be in like potential earnings, right? It can't be your actual-

No, I think that was probably his movie deal. He probably had a holding deal, right? Or a development deal. Yeah, Will Smith probably had five $200 million movies. Or something like that. Honestly, he could've. I don't know. I believe it.

There was a period there from about, I don't know, 2005 to 2015 where I remember that Hollywood would bet on Will Smith because any movie he was in, as they would put it, would open. Yeah, I honestly think. He never flopped. His movies, no matter what it was, every movie he was in-

I think it was 10 years before that. Was a blockbuster hit. I think that didn't end until the slap happened. But that's the thing though. He did some movies well before that where you were like, oh, he was in that. There were some bad ones. Yeah, yeah, I could see that,

but I mean that that that sort of the Serena Williams Tenure that came out that year was supposed to be great. Yeah, you got nominated for it. It was pretty one He won best after that after the slap. Yeah Reporting I think he won What is the actor? Come on? It was like the end of the I think he won the last award of the night, because that was the whole controversial part was that he was out like partying the whole night.

Getting dapped up. Oh, so because he didn't care. Yeah. That's pretty funny. I think that he's probably got it worse than did he right now. He's down worse than did he? I don't know about that. I do. I'm just seeing Will Smith in a lot of situations where you're going. That's only I know like the he's gay. He's doing like the shit that

like Stevo did before he went to rehab. No like comedians do like he's doing like fucking like the like the Random interviews on the street and stuff Oh and like setting that up with like a Booker and like going and filming like TikTok videos. And you're like, dude, aren't you like a A-list movie star? Like you don't see Leonardo DiCaprio going on like Hot Ones. Yeah, yeah, but Leonardo DiCaprio

never punched Amy Schumer in the face. True, true. After winning for, you know, fucking, whatever that movie was that he won for. I don't know, just'm just all I'm saying Is if you see Will Smith doing fucking man on the street in Washington Square Park, don't be surprised He kind of has this energy that I remember from a kid in my grade school who was clearly gay But like to this eighth grade dance. He was trying to like prove. He wasn't gay. So he wore a

Hoodless sweatshirt that just said NFL on it. Hell yeah. That rules. It did rule. I would get one of those. It's like the Rob Lowe hat. It's very Rob Lowe, but he wasn't, you would get it because it's kind of funny and ironic

in the whole league. And he got it because it was his best chance to be like, I actually like football. I'm actually one of you guys. And I feel like that's what Will Smith is trying to do. He's like I'm doing the things that people do who are like normal celebrities that are beloved by everyone. You can't unslap a rock. Yeah you can't unslap rock and you can't unrecord Pretty Women or

whatever that song was called. How does it go? It's like I like pretty woman All right, where's the miss You show you what I mean, that's a chat gbt song That's what that was chat gbt 100 percent I like pretty women. I mean that's gotta be one of those things like Will smith's manager was probably like would you want to go back to music?

It's probably like is it that bad and they were like that's all you've got left is music well music you can control You know, he is only one good movie away though from people not giving a shit. I don't know if he'll get put in another big movie. His image is tarnished. So tarnished, of course, but you know, he does like an indie movie that is unbelievable. He's gonna have to do like an NYU student film. He's gonna have to work his way back up from the bottom. That's what Kevin Spacey is doing. Yeah, yeah.

He is? Yeah. He's doing small, private, yes. He's doing like little shit. He's doing one of our, he's doing out of order sketch with us. Yeah. I think that the Red Table Talk.

He's coming right for you, by the way. You're the youngest guy on this set. I think that the red table talk. You're the youngest guy on this set. The red table talk really fucked Will Smith too. Yeah. Do you remember what that was? That was right after the slap. I thought it was way before the slap. Oh, maybe it just, maybe I just saw it for the first time.

Cause he was saying, cause that was what led to it. I think the slap, cause she was like, she said that she was fucking this dude August Alsina. Well, wasn't she also fucking one of Jaden Smith's friends? Yes, that's August Alsina, this R&B singer, this low-level R&B singer. And she basically just confessed it live to everybody. Was Jason Alsina that guy that's on the porn site Blacked who ended up fucking the guy's girlfriend?

Yeah, who fucked Adam 22's girlfriend. His name was Jason something. No, this is August Alsina. Oh, I was thinking of Jason Alsina. You were thinking of Jason Momoa who fucked Adam 22's girlfriend. What a fucking nightmare it is when you pull up Pornhub and you see Adam 22 on the front page and you're like, oh my God. Is he going to be interviewed?

Dude, it's the last thing I wanted to see. Adam 22 having sex. A banner ad of Adam 22 with his arms crossed, like looking at you, actually a boner pill ad. You can tell immediately because he's covered in tattoos. Yeah. It's like, dude, you're either in or you're out of porn. Don't be this halfway in. I want my porn stars living, breathing. I want my porn stars to only be in porn. Don't podcast. Don't. Don't podcast.

Yeah. Don't interview China, man. Don't have Sophia Franklin on your show two days later. Did you see the clip where he was like, I'm completely monogamous with my wife outside of the porn scenes we do? And the guy's like, well, what do you mean? You're outside of the porn scenes.

And he's like, I feel like you're trying to twist my words around right now. Like when you watch a movie and somebody kisses a girl, they're still being monogamous with their wife just because they kissed somebody on a movie screen. And that's genuinely how he thinks about it. I think there are a lot of porn stars that feel that way, right?

That it's like work. You ever watch a behind the scenes porn of porn? Yeah. No. Yeah. It's pretty asexual. Yeah, but- The guys are constantly jerking off by the way.

Oh yeah. They have to. Yeah, cause the Pete Dicks don't work. Well, no, it's just if you don't, if you stop, then you gotta deflate and you gotta bring it back. Me and Caleb met some porn stars at the AVM, we went to like where they filmed a scene, and we met the male talent, and he just like was,

he shook our hand, and he was jerking off his hand, his dick in his sweatpants with his other hand. Was he actually? Yes, he just was like, yo, so like I've been a fan of Barstool like for a long time. That's insane. That'd be off-putting. I mean, I've had that conversation on the subway before, but never in the bright lights of a convention center.

At the Hard Rock Cafe Hotel. That's so funny. I forgot that you went to that. Yeah, it was wild. It was a dark time in my content creation career. Really? I don't know, you're just trying shit, I guess. I think that's funny.

It's fun to do once. Didn't that video do really well? Yeah, I just don't think you wanna make that your career. Otherwise, where do you go other than being Adam 22? I mean, they want Glennie Balls fucking on camera. Yeah, that's true. Do they really? Oh yeah, I think every OnlyFans girl that he has come in

says that they want him on OnlyFans. They shower him And gifts like he's uh, he one of them bought him a car. Yeah one bottom of car like he's like a New York nine going to Saudi Arabia. Yeah Thank you going to Dubai Wow Miami party girl. He's like a vintage like nice car Yeah, it was like $26,000 and she bought it on the spot. And she was like, I'm getting it in red. And he's like, I like blue. I prefer it being blue. And then maybe we could talk about me potentially fucking you off camera.

Yeah. That's the, that's the world, you know, you ever see those behind the scenes videos of Glennie talking negotiations? Yeah. Just hammering it out like that dude, Caleb, who's on TikTok. The financial expert guy. I don't know if I've seen him. Oh, he's amazing. I thought you were talking about the dude that does the apartment tours videos.

Oh, he's amazing too. Don't mind if I have one cookie. Yeah, he honestly turned out to be like not that bad out of all those dudes. Who? The dude who goes and does the apartment tour videos. Why? I don't know.

I feel like his videos have kind of stayed pretty normal and like he's not, I feel like a lot of those guys go towards down more of like a condescending route. Yeah. Where it's like, yeah. What do you do for work? Oh, I'm actually, I'm 19.

I just moved here. Oh, so you're a slut. Oh, so you do only fans. Yeah, like that's kind of the route that most of those come on. It's like, oh, you play in the NBA, shoot a basket for us right now. Yeah. If you actually play. Yeah, it's like a baseball player or it's like it's like Adam Sandler walking down the street, like clearly in the middle of a phone call. And then all the comments are like always knew Sandler had a dark side

Guys too busy to talk to a regular person can't talk to a fan who's got a boom mic. Yeah Lantern lights that can bring a ship in in the fog that's thing that that's thing that annoys me about those Instagram pages is because like Everyone's like the responses will be like, oh, this guy, you could be polite and all that shit. And it's like, these people that are filming these videos aren't, it's not just like one dude out there with, it's like they have like a production team and like a booker and someone signing like agreements. Yeah, on like that you can be in the video.

They're not asking Adam Sandler to sign that release though Are they no? I'm sure they're not but just like in like it's not just like a dude walking around being like I'm curious What do you do for what there's like there's like celebrities booked to appear on these shows Like the Jonas Brothers some of them are the running one is definitely fake like that. I think they're all very fake I've seen the guy Ted. I've seen the guy who does what do you do for a living the dude Teddy in action. You've seen him in action He's oh, yeah. He's solo right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he gave you a hard time. He's solo or did he have a team? He was solo The lot of these guys don't travel solo

We saw we were in Washington Square Park and there was like, you know They have like the B team was out is around like it was early in the morning. Yeah, well they got their reps. They all it was everyone had like had like two people like they go and they have they have team. Oh, Washington Square Park is crazy. Yeah, full film crews at Washington Square Park. But then dude, we were there.

I don't know if you guys caught this one of the guys one of the bigger guys showed up and they scurry because he's like, this is my girl. He pulled up in like an Uber black with like 10 dudes and they yeah, they rolled in and they film. It was Sneako. Oh no, mine wasn't Sneako. Was Sneako there? Oh, that's funny. I wasn't there for that. This was like one of the straight up men on the street, dudes. He showed up with like 10 people. They filmed for like five minutes and left. That's all they need. Yeah. They're like, we got it. It's so efficient. Yeah.

Well, it's all in the edit. Yeah. We'll handle that in post. Well, AI them a good ass answer in post. Controversial answer. I don't know. It's crazy that dudes are still trying to get hock to a content. People are still filming at like the popular outside of popular

bars and main strips in the night of party towns. Really like what do you consider a red flag? I feel like those people are making so much money. Still them and streamers. Yeah, streaming I feel like is a little harder to get into. Really? I don't know. I don't know enough get into really I don't know I don't know enough about it I don't know what like the average streamer like the

average streamer makes for money I mean Lacey said he went for nine hours on kick and only made $1,500 really yeah and so he's basically not going back to kick Lacey said that yeah Lacey said that that was recent did you you guys listen to Steinies podcast when he had Steve Will Do It on? No. And he was like, fuck Mary Kill, gambling, fucking, and doing steroids. And he had those boys in the fucking blender. He had them fucking stymied.

Stymied. So which was... What's your guys answer to his fuck Mary kill steroids fucking Mary roids fuck bitches killing gambling I don't know I have no idea I haven't thought about it it's pretty easy I've never done steroids in my life well that's what Steve will do it said but he said so he said you have to replace it with something that he loves equally as much Well That's tough. Yeah, see so that's why these guys are in the fucking fish timing chamber

Poached brandzino Fucking let's make it even simpler fucking gambling or Fucking, let's make it even simpler for me. Fucking gambling or franzina. Getting my nut, okay. Getting my pump or poached franzina with maybe like a green sauce or some sort of like, yeah nice lemon butter. Burblanc.

A nice lemon in the hair net so you don't even get the lemon on your hands. Mm-hmm lemon on your hands. So yeah, I'm gonna kill that. Yeah, kill Branzino. Kill Branzino. Kill Branzino. Fuck fucking. Yeah. I might kill fucking.

Mary gambling. Mary gambling. For sure. Income. It's all about income. Fuck gambling maybe too. Oh yeah. I'm fucking to den Mary in it Then killing it you guys watch any of the Stanley Cup. Mm-hmm pretty good. Mm-hmm great series thoughts Panthers probably I mean I really want just cause we're Nicky Smokes.

Just because I'm rooting for. Oh, I was rooting for Nicky Smokes and Panthers. I want the Oilers to win, but I kind of want the Panthers to win because I would I wouldn't hate seeing Marshawn win again. Also, I'm pretty sure there's some sort of thing where it's like if the Panthers win the Stanley Cup, the Bruins traded Marshawn for a second round pick. And I think if they win the Stanley Cup, it turns into a first round pick. That's what you get that sort of a benefit in the NHL. I think that's just the deal they made. Oh, I see. Okay. You don't earn a first round pick

if you win the Stanley Cup. It's a conditional pick. Yeah Yeah. Yeah Like if the Panthers win the Stanley Cup, I think the Bruins get their first round pick So this is the first year they've had Marshawn Lynch on their team Yeah That'd be so sick if he went over to hockey I know just don't feel like he'd be pretty good at goalie or like a defenseman. Yeah, just fucking people up Yeah, Oh my dude. He'd probably be so good at hockey Yeah, he would Cuz he's like fucking I feel like I feel like running backs would be great at hockey. They're built

Yeah in the same way. Yeah, I remember I'll never forget I was out in the other at the beach one summer and there was like a New York Ranger guy there Who you know one of the better players in the New York Ranger guy there who you know one of the better players in the team can't remember exactly who it was yeah and I looked at him and I was like you would never know that that dude was a professional athlete oh really yeah hockey some of them I'm sure you yeah you do but this guy was just built like a geek what What do you think is hard for hockey or tennis? Tennis, tennis. Yeah, easily.

Oh, my God. I've seen like what Alex Ovechkin looks like. Yeah. He's got a fucking barrel. Yeah, but they have they just they booze, you know. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying I know Alex Ovechkin is probably also in very good shape. He's also 39. Tennis players- But tennis players are like-

Aerobic recovery rate, how quickly they regain their breath after a very long, difficult point. You ever go out and rally and like beat it around the court for like 25 hits? No. Afterwards, you need to sit down. Wasn't the French Open, one of the matches

was over five hours? The final. Yeah. That's crazy. The final. It was like the second or third longest match in a Grand Slam final ever. I can't believe you're going there.

What would you think that's like the equivalent to, like playing a five hour tennis match? You know, imagine playing as a receiver and out routes. Yeah, just five hours straight. For three straight games, yeah. hour tennis match. You know, imagine playing as a receiver and out routes for three straight games. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty crazy.

Yeah. I think cross-country skiing in the Winter Olympics is also pretty barbaric on the body. What a, yeah. I mean, what do you think about cross-country skiing? I mean, I'm not a huge fan. I think it's one of the most, the dumbest things. But I will say that when you have icicles of snot

forming down your face and you're still like, ah, ah, you know, you gotta believe something. I guess I just feel like- Something's going hard there. When I think of skiing, I think of like relaxing, you know, flying down the mountain, having fun. And then cross cross country skiing is like the most tiring thing. It's like just going on the fucking

the cow bike at the gym, but for just a continuous amount of time. Yeah. With resistance at 1000. Yeah. The resistance must be so tough. And it also you look dumb as hell doing it. You sure do. Just just with your feet out. Yeah. Must be so tough. And also you look dumb as hell doing it. You sure do. Just, just with your feet out.

Yeah. Angled out to the sky. They go down a hill and their skis are so thin that they're like slipping. It's like they're trying to. Yeah. Eh, eh, eh. And they're so, like they just look clumsy.

Nothing's funnier than when you watch them crash into each other. Oh yeah. It's like a bunch of baby deer with all their little stupid sticks popping up. Or if you step on the trails, they don't like that at all. No, in boots. Yeah.

Yeah. Cause they pave them or they mow them. So that used to be just people's transportation. I don't know about that. I feel like that was created by like rich white people who wanted to get exercise. No, it might've been a thing out in Norway or in the Arctic circle.

Probably got from point A to point B. I would just think of snowshoeing. The Northwest territories or none of it. I guess cross country would make sense because then when you get to a hill, you can just fly down. As opposed to snowshoes. Snowshoes, you'd have to walk down.

Not everyone can afford a sled dog is the point, right? You can't afford a team of eight sled dogs and the ensuing. You think there's anyone out there who's like, and so like you said, of building a PC, they're building a sled. They're like, they're collecting dogs. Like I need four more dogs and I'll have a full roster

for my sled. I need four more dogs or I need to lose a ton of weight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because right now, these Malamutes, man. I'd love it if it was just like eight miscellaneous dogs, just like one beagle. A wiener dog. Come out one night.

The Huskies have eaten the beagle. We had a feeling. I was trying to find something out, or I was just wondering to myself, is a Swiss Army knife, is that made for the Swiss Army or made by the Swiss as just an Army knife for anyone? I think it's made by the Swiss. So does Switzerland have Army?

Yes. They do? I don't know. They're notoriously neutral. No, maybe that, I might be thinking of Sweden. Doesn't Sweden have like a top 10 military? Sweden has a, I think, mandatory military service. It is one of those countries.

I was literally just looking at the top 20 most powerful militaries this morning. How much do we smoke China by? A lot. China's pretty powerful now. Well, I was looking it up because I was curious about Israel and Iran. And then I thought, I was under the impression

that Israel must have had like the most powerful military in the world. They're like 20. Why would you think that Israel would have the most powerful military in the world? Because the way that they're misbehaving and acting up right now is insane. They're causing so much trouble. Oh no.

And they're not even a top, they haven't even cracked top 15. Yeah, but it's like they have a big, like America is big brother that's just like gonna go to bat for them. Not when we're not when they're blowing up fucking nukes. Oh that's gonna be a tough decision for us but they have nukes they have their own nukes. Iran or Israel or Iran? Israel. Israel has nukes? For sure. See now this list says India. India, Pakistan, France. Wait who's three? If they're number. Three is China, Russia's two.

Oh, Russia. Okay, now I'm getting fucking viruses. This definitely isn't the way. This must be the China website. Let's see. And they have China at three and it's their website? Maybe they're sandbagging. All right, here we go.

2025 military strength ranking. One, US. Two, Russia. Three, China. Four, India. Five. Here's where the draft starts. Here's where it really gets interesting.

South Korea is five. Respect. UK, six. Okay, France has had that one. France. one France I was naming the nuclear powers France Japan I'd be surprised that the French have the seventh most powerful military in the world that doesn't sound right to me yeah they do like every single list says it well they're fighting against the reputation they're fighting an uphill battle so they they have to throw money.

Pretty much every list has pretty consistent South Korea. Yeah. Shouts to them. That's because they're constantly under threat from North Korea. Why wouldn't... I wonder why they don't rank... Where would they put North Korea on that list? Because all you ever see are marshalling, you know, parades of... Let me find a proper list for us. Of North Korean soldiers.

And I'll tell you, when they walk with that big high step looking off to the side, they look pretty fish. Yeah, they do. They look like they know what's up. Having them go head to head at the gates is almost as enthralling as India and Pakistan at the border. You ever see those two dudes in that dance that they do?

Like the high step Dion Sanders dance that they do? They're basically just peacocking. Like you can see animals in the wild doing that exact dance to try and prove, it's like a pigeon trying to fuck. I like that. I mean, I am struggling to find a list. Turns out they do not want people to know

what the top militaries are. There's no way it can be this. I do. Why is there not just like all these websites are. Global firepower. Jagranjah. The economic time. I know they have India high. What's Jagranjah? I don't know. That's why I'm saying, why is it not just like

it's the non spicy version? Here we go. U.S. News. I'll have to It's the non spicy version. Here we go. US news. These countries have the strongest militaries. Oh, this one's got Russia as number one. The one with Joe Rogan, Josh. Russia's number one? Yeah.

And they've got US as two, number three in best countries overall. They got Russia as number 26 in best countries overall. But top military. Top military. Who published that? Yeah, this can't be right. They got Israel as three.

I'm not gonna be- look, Russia can't defeat Ukraine. Yeah, and they have Israel at three, when every other list had Israel at like 17. This can't be right. They can't beat Ukraine. They got Germany as nine. Didn't Germany lose two world wars. Barely.

They were in the conversation. You know, that was down to the wires. That awesome norm bit. Yeah. Now where he's like, uh, they went to war with the world and you'd think that'd be over pretty close, but no, it was close. What do you think you are, Germany? Mars? Yeah, that's fucking nuts. Here we go, world population review.

If they got United States as number one. Not even reading the list unless it's got it says number one. Yeah, see this one's got Israel way down. What is GF power index mean? Girlfriend power index Well, that's like what it's based on ours is point oh six nine nine. It's pretty good Russia's is point. Oh seven. Oh two So we never think about we never found out what North Korea was oh

Don't don't do it anymore. I don't care about any of this. This has ceased to... North Korea is like 30. Okay. That sounds like a news. It might be fake. Well, they never can get them off their own island. Did you see that they had a boat that just sank?

They had like a massive destroyer that they were trying to just like launch into the water. They'd been building it and it immediately. That's hilarious. The ineptitude there is pretty crazy. Well, don't they just constantly just blow up like hydrogen bombs off the ocean? Like aren't they constantly doing like nuclear tests? Testing, yeah.

But I think for whatever reason, and I don't quite understand why this is true, I'm told that the challenging part of a nuclear weapon is actually arming the missile to fly. Okay. Not creating weapons enriched plutonium or whatever. Why not build it in the air? Yeah.

Like a Looney Tunes character. Yeah, yeah. Like the Wile E. Coyote used to do. You know who told that to me, by the way? Who? When I was tutoring, I had a seventh grade student who was the best student I ever had. Yeah.

He was so much smarter than me that it was everything I could do to get through an hour of us together without revealing that he should be tutoring me. Yeah. It was a I could do to get through an hour of us together without revealing that he should be tutoring me. Yeah. It was the seventh grade. Yeah.

How'd you keep it under wraps? We ended up talking about North Korea and their ballistic missile problems and why they couldn't arm nuclear weapons, things like that. I wonder who they're going after. If North Korea launched a nuke, who would they go at? The US. Seoul. They'd throw it right at Seoul. And then the US would come and body them. Japan would come body them. I think a lot of countries would come after them. Yeah, I mean,

I think China would have an issue with that too. I don't know. Russia. Israel would probably just blow them up too. Just for the fuck of it. For good measure. Are you not very pro-Israel? Russia Israel would probably just blow him up to for the fuck of it Are you not very pro-israel Now don't let your dad hear this bro Your dad's gonna be pissed. What's your main niche? What's your main grab? I don't really want to talk about I don't really want to get into the you know

I started it the details of it remember when we went to open that can of good Well, I know a lot of people have a lot of strong thoughts on it. So I don't really want to get into the you know when we started it the details of it Remember when we went to open that can of well I know a lot of people have a lot of strong thoughts on it, so I don't want to say yeah, remember we went to get cigars with large and cons and All of New York was shut down because Netanyahu was in town Because Netanyahu was doing Kimmel that night. That's what that was yeah I couldn't go up any street. Guys, let's take a second to talk about Viori. I finally remembered the name of the pants that I bought that I love so much and wear all the time. It is the Baron pant. Classic fit. Big fan of the Baron pant.

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but I will. It was because I don't know if it's gonna make me look bad or not. It was it was one of the strangest things that's ever happened to me. to what I was going to tell the story or not, but I will. It was, because I don't know if it's going to make me look bad or not. It was one of the strangest things that's ever happened to me. Great. I was, it was the morning. It was probably around like 10, 30 a.m. And I was sitting at my desk doing some work, writing, playing around. I had Halo open on another screen. I was playing around, right?

Just fucking around on the PC as one does, as someone who has a PC does. And I heard my door sound like it was opening. And I was like, that's weird. But then I was like, I could be my neighbor because our doors are really close together. And sometimes when my neighbor opens their door, it sounds like my door. And I was like, all right, whatever.

And then I heard my door close. And then I was like, it was definitely my door. And then I was kind of was definitely my door and then I was Kind of like I don't know. I wasn't no part of me was scared because I was like Everything that I own is in this half of the room and the only way of them getting here is going by me So I think I could just stand at those two steps and be like what the fuck are you doing? Take the charge get out of here. Yeah, right cuz like they, what the fuck are you doing? Take the charge. Get out of here. Right?

Cause like they're not, like, what are they gonna? Just sacrifice your body standing in front of you. I would just have to put my, I got the baseball bat from Hilarities right on the corner there. So it's like, I was ready to go. I turn the corner, there's a probably a five-year-old girl sitting

in my, right at my door, locking, like closing up the door. From the inside? From the inside. Like it was her apartment. And I, so I get up and I run over and I'm like, hey, what's going on? And I immediately, I opened, I'm like, let's open the door.

Let's keep the door open. And I was like, what's going on? And she was like, she was like, my mom's missing. And I was like, all right, we'll find your mom. I was like, why don't you wait out here? I'm gonna grab my, cause I was like, she was like, my mom's missing. And I was like, all right, we'll find your mom. I was like, why don't you wait out here? I'm gonna grab my shoes. Cause I was like, I just woke up. I was like, let me grab my shoes.

Like I want to get a hat and shit. Cause I look like a crazy person. Oh, you've been awake. Nah, nah, yeah. So, so I'm like, so I'm like, all right, you wait outside. Like I had kept the door. Wait a second, the image of like a fully dressed, fully independent, competent five-year-old.

No, it was like this kid like clearly just was wandering. Like they had, she had like a diaper on and had like a pajama shirt on and was like holding a blanket. But she knows how to lock the door to your apartment. Clearly she lives in the building. And you're like, hang on, I need him here. I haven't had my coffee yet. She's like putting on a joint.

1 PM. No, it was 1030 in the morning. Fair enough, fair enough. It wasn't late. And I was like, all right, you wait here. I'm gonna go get like my shoes and my hat. And I was gonna, my plan was I'm just gonna go into the super store and just drop her off there

and be like, this is not my problem. Just go to an emergency room. Here's a child. Yeah. And you don't have any history. I didn't mind, it doesn't matter. While I was in my room getting my shoes, I heard the elevator, like the ding,

and then I went outside and she was gone. And then I went down to the super's door and I knocked on the door for like 15 minutes. And the crazy thing is that my super, you hear people walking around inside, and I'm just sitting there just knocked on the door for like 15 minutes. And the crazy thing is that my super, you hear people walking around and I'm just sitting there just banging on the door and they just don't, they just won't answer. Like they're right, like they're,

I'm talking like six inches away from me. Like they can't hear me. Do they have a camera into the hallway so that they could see who's banging? Probably, yeah. They must, right? They might have like a no answer on Sunday's policy or something,

but that was the last I saw of the kid. I didn't really know. Well, that kid could have. Dude, I honestly think the kid probably just went back to the apartment I have like a view of over the exit And I kind of came out running with the kid under the arm. I kind of kept an eye out and also there was like a dude outside like spraying down the Sidewalk and I was like I feel like if this child walks out in a diaper, that someone else will probably be like, go back inside. You someone else just problem with it? I don't know what else I was supposed to do. It wasn't like I was supposed to call the cops.

I think you make the kids start paying rent. Like we got some chef boy RD on me. I mean, I went, I knocked on the door, the super didn't answer and no one said anything about the kids. So I was like, I'm assuming the kid probably just went back. Okay. So that was like, I'm assuming the kid probably just went back. Okay. So that's an awesome story. Yeah. You did not do anything.

No, no. You didn't do anything to solve that. No. And the consequences of you not doing something are potentially horrific. Yeah. I don't know about that. That seems a little bit traumatic. Well, that. That seems a little bit traumatic. Well, potentially.

That seems a little dramatic. What do you mean? As in what, you think the kid's dead? In a chain to a radiator in your super apartment. I mean, there's really, I'd prefer not to think about it like that. This is gonna be one of those situations where the next time you see her,

she's gonna be 34 years old with dreadlocks. Why didn't you help me? And you're going to be like, wait a minute, I know you from somewhere. There was nothing I could do. And she's like, you're the last person I saw before the metal door closed shut and I was fed. It was kind of a weird one though, because I was like, I was sitting in my room and I was like, I really didn't do anything. Like I attempted to, but I didn't. What do you mean you attempted to?

I went down to the super store and I knocked on the door for like 20 minutes. Afterwards. Yeah. And what were you going to say? What was the script in your head? I was going to say there's a kid wandering around the building. Do something about it. I wasn't going to.

It's not my, first of all, it's not my kid. You'd think that the person's, whoever kid it is, they're probably looking for the kid. Was I supposed to just be going up like every single floor, wandering, like kids going into other people's apartments. Was I supposed to be like knocking on every door? You see this kid?

The kid got into your apartment because your door was unlocked. My door was unlocked. But there's other doors like all over by your apartment. Yeah. Wait, wait. But the elevator's right next to my door. Okay, so hold by your apartment. Wait, wait. The elevator's right next to my door. Okay, so hold on a second.

So hold on. So the kid said my mom is lost. Yeah. See, that would mean, I would say that's a problem. Yeah. Because that means the kid's lost. I think the kid was. The kid is entering your apartment

and doesn't know where its mother is. That kid is totally lost. And its mother could be who the fuck knows where. Then I think what I would have thought is, I would have said, do you know where you live? I didn't have an opportunity to do any of this. You picked the kid up by its shoulders and put it out in the hallway.

No, I literally said, wait here, I'm just going to grab my shoes. Wait where? I went back. It was directly outside of, I literally had the door cracked open. And then I came back and the kid was gone. He was in the elevator, gone. I don't know, what am I supposed to do? Start running up the stairs.

All right. Well, it's entirely possible that the mother found the kid. How long did it take you to put your shoes on and stuff like that? Ten seconds. The kid was gone immediately. So the kid knew where it was going. Do you think, did you hear the kid talk to anyone in that time? No.

And you would have, right? Yes. So the kid got in the elevator on its own. And then what I also will say is that when I went to the super, this was, I totally forgot about this, this was one of the things that was like, all right, the kid's that when I went down to the super I knocked on the door someone else came in the building and Used the elevator and part of me was like I was waiting for that person to use the elevator being like I guarantee this Kid's still on the elevator and like the doors can open there's gonna be a kid in there But then there was no there was no one in the elevator. I

really think the kid just went to the wrong floor and then just went up to the To the I mean it's a child in an apartment complex I'm assuming they probably won't like it's a kid being in a hotel a hotel they're running around all day You hope her name was Eloise Now definitely wasn't but what if you know that story? No, no, you know that story Eloise the book the children's book. I don't know that story? No. Eloise, the book, the children's book? No.

Does anyone know that book where she lives in the Plaza Hotel? Never mind. I don't know what my child- Are you thinking of Home Alone? Or Dunstan Chexton, honestly, would be another one. Did you watch that movie? So what would you have done? What would you have done in this situation?

I'm curious to know. I would have said- Yeah, but no, but leading up, the kid's gone, kids in the elevator. I would have, I would have said, um, yeah, but no, but bleeding up the kids gone, kids in the elevator. I'm not talking about the kids. See, see that's where, yeah, obviously that's the only tricky part. I'm not talking about, I wouldn't have been as well. And I understand why you were freaked out and worried to put the kid outside. Cause it's like in this day and age, I don't want to keep everyone's going to assume that, yeah, that you're the problem. Right. Also my apartment is like disgusting. Okay, so you were worried you were gonna judge how untidy you are

I don't want a person walking I don't want the mom coming back and being like is my kid in there and then they see my apartment They're like, whoa when was the last time you cleaned up? Is there piss in the toilet are you okay? They tell the kid to watch you? Self-conscious, you're so self-conscious about the state of cleanliness of your apartment as you put a child at risk.

No, I wasn't self, that was the thought, was like, I don't want a kid in here. Right, so- This apartment was not ready for children. You look over and all of a sudden she's just eating a bushel of weed. Oh, you'll never, you'll never believe the nerves of going back into the apartment after and being like, I bet she's still in. I had to look, I had to search my apartment because

I was like, she could still be in, she could come back in. Picking up arm tools and laundry, giving you a nap. Yeah. I had to like check the closet, cause that's a kid thing to do, come back in and like clothes hide in the closet I do like open the closet. Are you afraid of the kid? No, but that is that does that not seem like you gotta check your refrigerator Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna be sitting playing video games and a kid's gonna come crawling out of the fucking freezer. Yeah, yeah, I think that I Have no what would you have done in that situation? I think that I have no idea exactly how I would have handled it.

But I think that I would have tried while the kid was inside my apartment. Okay, but no, you can't, you can't. No, we're not doing that. You can't go back in time and say what it's got to be. All right, I'll tell you what I would have done. From the point where the chaos occurred. Right. I find a child in my apartment.

The kid goes missing. No. No, that, because that's the only part that I need help with. Because I was on track to do a good job. You were on track. Yes, I was. You can't let that kid out of into the hallway until you have gotten answers.

We're literally talking about the distance between me and this microphone. Yes, except exactly what could have gone wrong went wrong. In that space and time, that kid disappeared. Okay, but that's not. And you can't let it out of its sight because it has nowhere to be where it's supposed to go. This, okay, coming from the jump of the situation,

in my head, the way that I saw it, I saw the kid, my immediate thought, this is not my problem, I'm gonna bring the kid down to the super, come back upstairs and play video games, right? No part of me was like, this kid is in danger. The kid was like smiling and like walking. Like it was not a kid that looked like it was in danger or a Stockholm syndrome.

Was it really in a diaper? Yes. Like a pull-up. So you're, I mean, that's like three. No, no, no. This was probably like five, six, three or four six. Dude. I don't think six year olds are wearing pull-ups, man. That's probably like three or four. Yeah, it's three or four. It's a very small child. That's why I'm like, you can't let that kid out into the hallway of a residential building with dozens of apartments. There's no one.

That's the problem. You are now, in that moment, you are its caretaker, unfortunately. Okay, agreed. But what I will say is that I had the right plan. My plan, okay, yeah, maybe I shouldn't have let the kid outside. I still, no, I still, I didn't want the,

I didn't know where any of my shit was. I didn't want to be like, all right, you stand here. Oh, have you seen my hat? And you were like running around looking for shit? Just tell it to, just say, wait a second, right? Yeah. And by the way, no judgment. Like this is a very unusual situation you're faced with. I don't know if there's- Well, you're saying

that I may as well be charged with the kid's murder. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'm actually not giving you full bad marks on this one. Okay, but so what I'm saying is leading up, I'm asking what you guys would do post kids gone kid kid is now missing now What do you out? I'm definitely not telling the story This is why I didn't want to tell the story no, I knew the ending was controversial That involves the kid going miss you're not in trouble

I know I'm trouble cuz the yeah, the kid definitely... Until the detective comes to your door and is like, have you seen this child? The one thing that I was a little... Until you're drinking milk one day and you just see the picture of the kid. The one thing that I was a little concerned about was that I've never seen a child in my apartment building. Dude, this is kind of spooky. It's a spooky story. I was telling other people and they were like, it sounds like it was a ghost. That's what I was thinking. That was my exact first thought, it was a ghost.

That's what I was thinking. I've never seen families like this. Are you sure you weren't just like unbelievably high? It was in the morning, I just woke up. What difference does that make? Wake and bake. That's my first, the highest I get. It was the first drag.

It's been 12 hours since your last tope. Yeah, we're basically on a reset. What would you have done? Now, kid, he's gone. All right, kid's gone. You've seen a flash of the kid, kid's gone. I think that what I would have done is I would have, I guess, gone to the super.

That's your authority figure in the apartment? That's the only person I could think of to tell. Okay, so how many floors are there in your apartment building? I have no idea, because I'm on the second floor. Six. Have you ever been in the elevator? Like once when I was moving.

Any idea how many floors there are in there? Probably six, seven. Okay. I think one thought that I would have had is that given that that kid opened your door, that the place that your apartment is in the building is where, is what the kid mistook its own home for. So I might have gone to the apartments above me and potentially knocked on my door, your door above you in each successive unit,

just to put your mind at ease. You're gonna have a weird thing you're gonna have to explain to the people that open those doors if you don't get it right on the first time. Yeah, but I did consider doing that. But you are also expanding the awareness of the people in your building by doing that, right?

Just so you know, a kid just walked into my apartment, super weird, I think they thought my apartment was theirs. It's not your kid, is it? You haven't seen it? All right Well, if you if you see this kid keep a lookout like just wanted to let you know and now you've now you've added Watchers, I can't do that. Think about this. It's an insane They're gonna be like kidnapped a child and it got loose. No telling us And now you want me to be part you guys haven't seen a kid now. It's not mine. It's not mine

There's run around in a kid somewhere 1030 in the morning on a kid. No, it's not mine. It's not mine. Just run around in his underwear. It's just a kid somewhere. 10.30 in the morning on a Sunday. Yeah. Listen. Hey, it's too. You're, this is the equivalent, what I'm describing, of when you see people linking arms in the ponchos and walking through the fields

with the fucking German shepherds and the hounds. Like that is the New York equivalent of what you were doing there. Yeah. I think, I think you gotta like raise some awareness until it's solved. I think what you have to do is- Maybe I'll email my super and just be like,

just a heads up. Kid got kidnapped. Well, then it wasn't me. Let's make sure this doesn't happen. There's security footage. Right? No, that's a bad- Like, yeah, we need an exterminator. That's a bad plan.

We need to have somebody come and spray the apartment. Well, someone should probably tell that. Because my worry also was probably like, that kid, no one probably told that kid not to do that, because no one knows that the kid is just walking into strangers' apartments. Dude, that kid is so much younger than you keep thinking that it is.

That kid has no reason. That kid is a three-year-old. Yeah, but that makes me believe. My niece is three. Our conversations are pretty simple. Yeah, mom's missing. Do you like the ball? Yeah.

What did you eat today? Are you hungry? That's about as far as it goes. The thought process that you had, which was going up and checking the apartments that were mine, same layout, that was exactly what I was thinking. The only thing I was thinking though,

at the same time, which kind of gave me some sort of comfort, is that that's probably what the child was doing as well. Jesus Christ. But that makes- The amount of assumptions you made in order to absolve yourself of responsibility. I'm joking, I'm kidding.

Well, hold on though, I don't think, first of all, you're not. I was fully joking when I said that. But you're saying that the kid went one by one until it found its apartment? Yeah, yeah. That would also mean that the other people's layout, the layout where someone's raising a kid

for their apartment is the same layout as Lil Sass's apartment. So imagine there being a family in your exact apartment. That's fucking horrifying. I don't think it is like that. I think it's probably. Did you try speaking to the kid in Spanish? No. Because usually they live in small apartments. No, I didn't. Did you try Chinese? The kid spoke English.

So the Chinese kids are pretty smart these days. Yeah, they usually know both. What I would have done is I would have gone outside and like grabbed like the toughest looking guy and like a trench coat type of deal. Even if he had some flowers in his hand, maybe put the flowers underneath his coat like he's carrying a gun. You put him at the front door, you man the back door while you call some other people to man the front and back doors while you canvas every room and house in the apartment building.

I feel like that's the most thorough way to do it. Godfather style. Do you think I should do something? Yes, I think you need to. It's too late now. I think you need to email your super. And for no other reason than like, this is what happened. I'm just gonna tell my super when I get back.

Just gonna knock on the door again. Listen to the pod, just tell them to listen. Here's a question. I'm just gonna knock on the door again because they don't, when I email them, they just get mad at me. Okay, let's, but this is a different situation. This isn't you being like,

hey, my heater doesn't work. I have 400 mice in my apartment. This is the first 48. This is correct. That is correct. Yeah. Yeah. We have to get this done now.

The clock is ticking. Every hour that you don't find this child is another hour that the person in 7D. It is probably at kid inside out. Is there supposed to be? The kid is definitely in fucking elementary school right now. You gotta find out what the local school is, PS 252. Best it's at daycare.

And I don't know why you keep trying to be like this 15 year old that showed me it's driver's permit. And I don't know why you keep trying to be like this 15 year old that showed me it's the driver's permit. It's not anyone in diapers is three at most potty training happens three, four years old, four years old, four or five. What should I say? Don't do it now. I'll help you drop that email after the episode. Subject should be kid in apartment though. Someone else's kid that keeps on coming in my apartment. My mom is lost. Those were the only words that she said to you.

And you said, okay, hold on a second. I said, we'll go find her. You did? Yes. I like that. And then we didn't. Because she disappeared. You said, hold on a second.

We'll go find her. I said, yeah, I said, we'll go find her. Wait here for one second. I'm going to grab my shoes. And she did not wait. Because she probably said, oh, this is not my apartment. But here's the thing. She probably looked at me and was like, you're not my mom,

and then said, my mom's missing. The kid locking the door to me. It wasn't, she didn't like lock the door. But she was trying to. She was closing the door. Oh, she wasn't fiddling with the locks? It was like, she was around. I don't think she was,

I don't think she could even reach the lock. I was going to say then she's been trained to do that. And that would make me think even more that she is someone who lives in your building. Oh, absolutely is someone that lives in my building. There's no way that this kid would have gotten into my building if she didn't live there. But maybe you're assuming that the kid said something wrong by saying my mommy is lost and

You you're thinking that she means I'm lost she might mean my mom is actually lost And she might be suggesting that someone's after her and she needs to lock the door behind her It may be we're supposed to be looking for the mom they might have found They might have found her whoever was just a lot to get dropped on your plate on a Sunday morning, a scavenger hunt, involving a missing mother. Like it's one thing doing the child, like helping the child out, but now I'm looking for the mom too.

But you didn't help the child. Now I'm walking around being like, where is the mom, where is she? I'm gonna be late today guys, I'm looking for the mother. On Father's Day. You gotta let this go man. It's been ten years There's a mother missing right now And moms can go anywhere like kids can have a limited amount of places they can go This is a really funny story a kid did not go anywhere

And I'm sure of it. Yeah, because they probably got a kid when I kid went one part of it went up to fucking Whatever the build whatever the apartment was I'm gonna knock on my super store when I get home You know what I can I say I'm gonna say this is something I should be stressing out about this isn't my problem Can I say something you guys deal with this? Yeah, I want to solve this with you I want to come over and knock on the doors above you and say, hey, I live in this apartment, I'm in your apartment. That's absolutely not happening.

And your daughter came over yesterday. My partner and I have lost our child. It's not our child. Our partner and I lost a child. It's a baby. He thinks it was around three. I think it was around six. So if you got anything in the middle, let us know.

You want us just come in and take a look around? Can we check in your fridge for our child? Damn dude, that's fucking wild. It was insane. That's so wild for you. Oh, it was the last thing on earth that I was expecting was that it was gonna be a child. Do you not like-

I thought it was honestly gonna be like my landlord. Do you not like solving those type of things? What do you mean? I thought it was gonna be like when I was bringing the kid down to, when I was gonna bring the kid down to the super, I was like, this is good. I was like, this is wow, what a class act. That's what I mean. And then the kid was gone and I was like, this is good. I was like, this is wow, what a class act. That's what I mean.

And then the kid was gone and I was like, what? I was on a walk on Friday, I found a phone on the ground. It's like the same kind of, same kind of God. You feel like a hero. I feel good about solving these types of things. I feel good about myself. To fly into Chicago last week, I was in the Delta lounge. I was using the bathroom passport with the ticket, with the boarding pass in the toilet. And you took using the bathroom, passport with the ticket,

with the boarding pass in the toilet. And you took it to your super. In the toilet. And I took it and I cleaned it off and I went and I used it and I went to the- It was in the toilet? Yeah. Shut up, you're fucking lying.

No, I didn't. I did not pick it up. It was in the toilet. There was a passport in the toilet? There was a passport with the boarding pass inside. Yeah, and you pooped on top of it and flushed. No, no I went to the stall. I went to the other stall took a piss I've known that I went to the front gate and I said I said hey, I don't really know who I'm supposed to tell this

There's a there's a passport in the toilet. There's a passport in the stall toilet. I'm gonna say in the second stall That's class act citizen Yeah, someone else probably shit on it. It's the same vibe. You're always waiting for someone else to do something. Do you know how much passports are worth?

What do you mean I'm waiting for someone? I told them immediately after. You could have just taken it out. Are you crazy? Is there shit on it? It's not my passport. There's piss and shit everywhere. So what though?

I'm not grabbing the fucking passport out of the toilet. I'm not helping the little girl. You guys are out of your mind You guys are like a guy get like doing things and being a good citizen and like say oh, there's a passport in this Well, I'm gonna let someone know when there's always when the phone was lost I found the phone and I found whose phone it was a toilet covered in piss and shit what you didn't say it was It was inside of a toilet, but there was a clean toilet at an airport. It was a Delta lounge.

They clean those every hour. No, they do not. Yes, they do. Those are very great. There's a cleanest one. I'm so that pisses me off. You could cook a stir fry because neither of you guys were. You wouldn't even have told anybody.

You probably would have taken the passport and put it in your bag. Another identity. Acting like you would have reached Jason Bourne's manifesto, grab the passport. Yes, dude now a hundred percent I clean shit all day. I clean human shit. I pick up dog shit your own kids So what I think of a dog shit and this isn't there's not even shit. I clean your own kids shit on you It's like you're just like a rub that on your sock Like you don't give a fuck about exactly and I wouldn't give a fuck about grabbing someone's which I know will

Could ruin someone's trip Not how I that's why I immediately went and told someone and there was probably a 400 pound business man fucking from Algeria shitting on top of it in the time It took from you to run to the front desk I don't think so, but I honestly was thinking cuz I was like should I tell someone and then I was like well I lost my passport and I really wish someone told me that I lost it Why would you why would you even consider not telling it? I just didn't know.

I was like, it could be a situation where the guy's too far gone. Could be like a, what would you do John Kenyonis show? Could be ditching the passport because I really don't know how a passport like that would have made its way into the toilet without you noticing. This dovetails well with that joke,

that great joke you tell. The what joke? The human trafficking one. One of your best jokes. Oh yeah, how does that relate? The passport thing? You could be like if you opened up the passport and you saw that it belonged to a child. Oh yeah, yeah.

It's like, oh yeah, clearly someone's trying to erase any evidence that this person belongs to someone else. Yeah, I never thought about that. Yeah. I really don't know, but I think that kind of makes up in karma for losing the kid. No, I don't think he went far enough. In either circumstance. In either, yeah.

I'll say something. I just, because then I feel like there's gonna be a whole, like I feel like they're gonna be like. And there should be, dude. I hate to say it, lost kids are like the biggest fucking deal. The hottest commodity. It's like that and tornado warnings that break through our phones in sleep mode to let us know, hey everybody, all systems go.

There's a gigantic problem here. Have you seen a Honda CRV with a red license plate? It has a child in it that has been stolen. That is true. SAS setting off an amber alert would have been legendary. You know what the best thing is, is that when I knock on my super store, I'm gonna be able to say,

and I was knocking yesterday and someone was in here and they weren't answering. So there we go. Guilt transferred over to another guy. I love it. It's a math equation for you. That's all that life is, just transferring guilt. It has nothing to do with whether or not the kid is okay.

Who can I kick the can to? Is it my fault? Yeah. Have I done enough to? Well, my fault? Yeah. Is the... Have I done enough to... Well, no. That is what it is because I genuinely believe the kid is completely fine. Yeah, but I would not feel good until I had solved that.

Yeah, which is why I'm going to knock on the super's door. So let's keep eyes peeled, guys. What if the kid is in there? Can we tighten things up around there? What if it's like, uh, gone baby gone and the kid's locked up in there? You think I should throw in at the end a little like... Maybe it's the same guy who's taking the packages. You should.

When I'm talking to my super. What if there's a way to frame the questioning to your super such that you could trap them? Do you know what I mean? Like what? Reveal that I don't get them to reveal that they know something that they're trying to hide Like I'm all I'm all I'm gonna say is how I'm gonna say hey I knocked someone was inside Clearly was ignoring me. There was a kid missing. You probably should answer your door when people knock You're gonna go on that offensive of over out dude There was someone directly like inside and I'm sitting there like hello and they're just refusing

Did you say kid missing missing kid now? I didn't know what to say cuz there's people coming into the building Yeah, you don't want to be shouting that in a crowded now in a crowded hallway when it's not your kid Cuz it looks weird. Yeah, the responsibility weirdly fell on you. It did. Where you were the surrogate parents in that short moment. That's tough, dude.

I'm just going to say, I mean, I'm assuming there's probably like two people that have kids in my building, so I'm going to say, someone's kid came into my building, I'm sure you guys know, who has kids in this building. You should be like, you should ask them. Go see if they have a kid. Does your super have a pretty good knowledge

of the tenants in the building? Not at all. I've knocked on the door probably six times. I've lived there for almost three years. I've knocked on the door probably six times lit up when I leave my keys in my door. And I remember immediately. So I'm like, I get to every single time,

well, I don't know you. And I'm like, well, I've met you seven times or six times. So how do you not know me? So I guess I would say ask them if they know of a family that has a three-year-old girl. Yeah, yeah. And then if they can tell you that, then you can go to that person's apartment

and ensure that that girl is home. Oh, you think I should then go to the apartment? You need eyes on the kid. Based on what you've described about your super, I don't trust that person to be competent in this at all. So you're saying take it by my own. Yes, man, this is your mystery. Okay.

You, it has fallen into your lap. Would have loved if we just had like a, like a Facebook group or something Well, it's anyone's key start the start. I'm a McCready was killed by Remy Besson Get on the chat BCC. We'll get it going. Yeah Wow, I will post on there. Yeah, well, I would love to get it. That's my man I'm happy this episode's going on Thursday because now I can Clarify that now get we're not getting out of the order if you wind up behind bars That's my man, I'm happy this episode's going on on Thursday because now I can clarify that.

Get that out in the open. Well, we're not re-recording if you wind up behind bars. Hey, the kid's been found. I can give a little update. By the way, you can join our chat BCC by going to chat.boydad.chat. Boydad.chat. Is that what it is?

Yeah. It's yeah, boy dad dot chat. Check that out. All right, well, good luck with that, Harry. Thank you. Really hope that is not as dark as it potentially could be. It won't be. I'll get it squared away today.

Good, good, good, good. Okay. Fuck, man. I hope you don't go down with the ship I know well the thing that sucks is that I was having those thoughts but then I was like I'm just being paranoid and then we guys and then you guys came in and really just nailed them into me well have you ever seen taken remember when all the girls are on the boat and they're all like on heroin and the millionaires are like bidding for them? Yeah. That could be what's going on.

That could legitimately be what's going on. Let's hope not. Unless you do something about it. You know what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna go to your guy. I'm gonna say, all right, I got the kid. We found the kid, right? So we find the kid. This is hypothetical.

Sure. Today I go back, the kid's fine. The family comes down, they go, we are so happy, like, thank you so much for saying something. Here's a free basket. We have no idea this happened. Is there anything we can do to help you? And I'm gonna say, there is. And I'm gonna say, uh, me, we'll get to, let's, the parent can come because I don't want it to be like weird, but let's, I'm going to need to borrow the kid and I'm

going to drop the kid off at both of your guys apartments and I'm gonna see how you guys react and we'll get it all and I'll have like Ray-Ban glasses on like the little child the meta glasses yeah you don't think that my my apartments childproofed and completely locked in for a baby to walk in I just don't know I want to see that's not the reason mine mine was fine kid didn't get hurt in my building I wanted more more no but you wanted the how you guys are time? I just don't know, I wanna see, that's not the rea, mine was fine, kid didn't get hurt in my building. I wanted more to know how you guys are gonna react. I'd be like, why don't you come on in, I have a couple bottles of breast milk in the fridge,

specifically for this occasion. Are you more of a My Little Pony kid or? And I thought these vintage breast milks were nice for like eight years. All right. We're waiting for the occasion. Hang tight. That's what I wanna see though, I wanna see how you guys react. My British n're waiting for the occasion. Hang tight. That's what I want to see though. I want to see how you guys react. My British nanny is on her way.

God, that would be so much more funny. Seeing a kid walk through one of your guys' massive 20-foot oak doors. Ha ha ha! Like coming up like the Lord of the Rings, like knocking on the door. Yeah. Who goes there? King! Ha ha ha!, slide it open.

Don't see anybody, look straight down and there's a kid there. The master of the house is not him. If you wait in the parlor... It wouldn't even be, you wouldn't hear it, you would feel like the gust of wind as the door is closing. Lower the moat.

A small child lays in wait outside. Oh man, that's funny. Funny shit, man. Alright. Thank God you made up that story. Yeah, thank God. Straight to the pod. That only took us like 10 minutes to write.

Alright. Cool. We'll see you guys next week. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Close was over, still, still underground. I looked older, till you came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way

Days were drifting For was I So, so then you listen Now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Finished through your eyes

Did you realize No one can take me alive I was only falling one way See it just a distant light Feel fast forever bright Call it just a lie, being fast forever blind Calling just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm Now fall, now fall Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,