Son of a Boy Dad - Missing Packages | Son of a Boy Dad #255

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

Missing Packages | Son of a Boy Dad #255 -- #Ad: Go check out https://mymobilex.com or download the MobileX app from the App Store or Google Play. -- #Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Just a pick. Chisel. Shall we? Yes, yes, yes. All righty, welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast today it is December 2nd 330 p.m. Late start today. We are here live from HQ trays

You just blew a fat vape cloud just to remind people that we used to fucking smoke cigars in here like real men I know know. 4HR came cracking down on us. I did the most passive aggressive thing ever once when Sass was in my car. He was smoking his vape and I rolled his window down. I don't think it was passive aggressive. I think it was just aggressive. There was nothing passive about that move. That's passive aggressive, I think.

If you said something. Without saying anything, it's passive aggressive. And then I was like, what's with the window? No, I think you said no I'm not doing that Funny right up immediately. You're like, I don't like that. I don't like that at all. I want to marinate in my vape smoke Yeah, my mom does that she'll like if someone's smoking a cigarette within a country mile of her. She'll be like Like not even trying to be funny or anything, just to make them feel bad, fake coughing.

That is passive aggressive. That's passive aggressive. That's passive aggressive. Of the highest order. I think mine's passive aggressive. Yeah, I think it is. I think I was wrong. Oh, look at that.

I just don't feel like arguing about the definition of passive aggressive for 30 minutes. No, I think you do agree that it did fit. I think you do feel like arguing. No, no interest. No, we're going to argue about this. You know what, now I don't feel like it was passive aggressive. But we did get a nasty HR crackdown after our nice cigar episode. People were snitching.

In which case... I don't know if anyone needed to snitch for that to become an issue the smoke was wafting into their clothing. We checked with everybody beforehand. We did but we didn't we didn't do it ahead of time enough for them to get air purifiers installed. I said before we did it I said I think this is the first time we've ever done this episode while there's hidden people in the office but that's not true either because we've had to check one time people got annoyed second time We checked there was zero problems. Then this is the third time it happened But the second to the last time we did it it was like I think we've only done it three or four times

The first time we did it we did in the yak studio and the office was completely empty. I Thought we got some some comeuppance. Basically I'm trying to not my Barstool this. I think that the Barstool has fallen from great heights to now fucking snitch society. Dude, one time in, must have been 2018 or 2019 when I was doing Barstool Breakfast, it was my birthday on the show, 7 a.m., and Wayne Jetsky and Za brought in a birthday cake for me that had candles lit, but instead of candles, they were joints.

Yeah. And they were lit. Yes. And we smoked like six joints in the office at 7 a.m. I remember, like, in early, it was at this office, but like years ago, while they, ago, before everybody moved to Chicago, I walked into the office and fucking Jersey Jerry and John Rich had needles in their arm, just passed out laying on one another.

Fucking, they were having the time of their life. And I was like, this is my bar stool. This is my bar stool. Not this soft bullshit that's going on right now. No, it's gotten soft Who are who are they? I don't know who it who is it? Who is here? Who are the people here? What are their roles? we like they let go of Alyssa Amoroso for this I

Get like look like it was if it was bra waves of smoke Like take if it was like someone was blowing cigar smoke into your face to be like what's going on? But it was just the smell of cigar smoke. No, I think I think the smoke wafted out When ever do you came in? Oh, no, but ever he came in after because it was already an issue It's pretty pervasive but in their defense in their defense They did say, you guys are absolutely welcome to do this. We don't intend to

tell you you can't do something. Just let us know an hour ahead of time if you plan to do it so that we can put that's what the middleman PR people we can put air purifiers in and we can let anyone know who has an issue with it that they can go work someplace else. I want people to go... Which I thought was kind of cool. I want people, I want to go out right now and say, hey, we're going to go smoke cigars.

Anyone got a problem with that? And then look around and see who starts shifting around. And we're not going to use an air purifier. And we're not using an air purifier. And everyone has to work where they are. Also, we found out that the audio is a little better if we keep the door wide open. Yeah, we're going to take the doors off the hinges. Yeah fact it we were a little hot so we're gonna point a fan

Into your world They say secondhand smoke is the silent killer and so yeah, you know Think about how bad firsthand smoke is we're blowing everything out It should be trial by fire, dude. This shouldn't be this lily white fucking pampered place of living that it has been until this point. And I'm tired of it. I think that we can grow together as human beings. I'm damn tired of it. Oh, I did get hit up by a guy. Cigars? Yeah, and this guy's cool.

He's cool. Fuck, I can't remember his name. By what metric? Well, his great grandfather started Village Cigars, which I think is one of the oldest cigar stores in New York City. Oh, one of the gayest ones too, I believe. Is another one in West Village?

Yeah. Yeah. I believe it's closed. Well, maybe so. As of very recently? That may be so, but they're still, I mean, they've been featured on Cigar Aficionado, which is the top magazine.

I could be wrong. Top publication. But I live right near there. Cigar Living. Well, I mean, if he's hitting up Francis, they obviously have just abandoned the brick and mortar, and now they're online. Figured let's go remote.

Yeah. They're remote. This young man does not, I asked him, do you work in the family trade? And he said he does not. But he would happily send us a nice box of cigars for our next indulgence. That's great. So I thought we should do that because I bet those will be nice cigars. Great cigars.

I mean, the holidays are coming up for a fat Christmas and New Year's episode. We should pop some cigars. I like the sound of that. Champagne, perhaps. Yeah. Now, this young man does not work in the family business. He plays tennis. Professionally? No, recreationally. Oh.

He asked if we could play tennis sometime. Oh, to two of you? Yeah. I mean, I was high school champion tennis player, Spirit Award winner. Get involved. I just, so you know what I mean. Sas can bring his fishing rod and retrieve balls for us with that beautiful shadow cast. That would be fun. My cable guy came the other day, a Jamaican dude, and he was like, sure,

I was a professional tennis player. It was one of the best compliments of my life. How's that? How did that go down? He was just a Jamaican guy who came into my house. He was like, are was a professional tennis player. It was one of the best compliments of my life. How's that? How did that go down? He was just a Jamaican guy who came into my house. He was like, are you a professional tennis player? And I was like, no. So it's a strange guess. Yeah, such a specific guess. And he like doubled down. I was like, no. He was like, and I thought you were a professional tennis player. He was so specific about it. That'd be like the worst dude to play 21 Questions with.

I'm positive. Start with boy or girl, guy. It's definitely Imler. No, he didn't even establish it was German yet. But yeah, it was such a nice compliment. Honestly, I don't know what I was doing that day. I must have looked lean that day. Oh, one other quick housekeeping thing.

So I have noticed that there is a great fan who seems to be taking inventory of the outfits that I'm wearing and listing the items individually with their prices. You are not doing that well. And I like the idea. But the first time you did it, you went 0 for 5. Every single piece you listed was not what I was actually wearing. The next time there were-

Where are you getting? Where are you seeing all of this information? On YouTube. On YouTube. I don't see any of these. There are comments. I must have you filtered out. It's not me.

You mean keywords? Francis, don't show me those comments. He deletes any positive comments. I mean, that would be nice because they don't speak highly of me. They don't know what they want. I like this initiative. If you want cross references on the outfits that I'm wearing,

I'm happy to. Well, on the second time, did they get any right? Yeah, I think he was like three for five on the second time All right, so maybe this time he'll be five for five Okay, roll Batman Rolex Yeah, this is a Sunspel shirt that I got on sale Sunspel. You can't give him away This is a Sunspel t-shirt too much away. You got to see how he does rel when Corduroy's and this is Crockett and Jones boots. You had it as a different company before it is cordovan

Which I believe is horse rump But they are not from that company that made of a horse ass. Yeah, this is made from horse. I believe oh my god It feels That's respectful. It was the great grandson of Seabiscuit who gave his ass for these boots. A lame horse. But wouldn't the great grandson of Seabiscuit be one of the most expensive horses, unless he came out a little bit gimpy? He would be. It's amazing how those, it is always the offspring of legendary horses that fetch the highest

price. Yeah. It's like good seed. I mean, it's like LeBron James kid or how 20% of first round draft picks in the NBA, their dad played in the NBA. Is that true? Yeah, it's something insane like that.

Wow. Runs in the family. Nepo. Nep. But I think they actually outperform, so it's not just nepotism, so they actually outperform the people at the similar draft spot over the last five years before that. Is that because the rest of them don't know their dads?

They're just genetically superior to the other guys. Except for Brawny. Well, they say that if you, yeah, right. How, what did Brawny get picked at? 55. First round? Second round. It's a Kenbe Matumbo.

55, you're right. But I also heard, wait, uh, what the fuck did you just say? I had something. Something racist. No, it was nice though. Okay. I thought it was something, I thought you meant something nice, but what the fuck was it? Ooh, I had a comment.

No, it was definitely racist. No, but I don't know if we should, we should, let's move on. Right after the racism. I thought there was something nice. I'm coming back to it. I think there's something nice after the racism. I thought there was something nice. I'm coming back to it. I think there's something nice after the racism. I don't freaking know. Well, I'll say this.

I also want to extend an olive branch to the many commenters who do not like me. I get it. Okay? And I just want to say, I am not begging Ronan Sasse to keep me on the show. I don't think you're even near the point of addressing. No, I know. But I get it. I am not, they built the show.

I am happy to help. I love doing it. You're addressing like four people right now. Yeah, I know, but they are growing. No, they're not. Their voices are growing. They're gonna grow after this. I feel bad.

I feel bad. Yeah, it's the same one person. You're going to make more people comment stuff. Oh, OK. Then we'll cut it. No, we're leaving it in for sure. Well, I'll just say there will be plenty of episodes where I have to go do foreplay stuff.

You'll get the original crew. I won't be here and enjoy those episodes. I promise I'm not here trying to just like torpedo this beautiful show that these two built. Everybody knows that. Everybody loves having you on the show. I'm over it. Move on. Next. Where were you when I made the fucking racist joke? He's like, no, let's rehash that. Let's go back over the coals.

I was just. What did you guys get into this weekend? Ron, you were you were at a wedding. I was at my boy's wedding. It was actually, dude, record mics, 18 mics at this wedding. And you guys get a photo. Insane. Yeah. The video. Of course.

That's going viral. Oh, man. Last time I put up the video of the amount of mics that were at a wedding, it was an article in Newsweek. Yeah. Newsweek has fallen off. It got like 10 million likes on TikTok. Yeah it did.

What was that again? The mics. Rona's like a hundred friends named Mike and when they all get together they take a big photo. That's cool. Of all the mics. But he said that this one there was 18 in mics. It was the new record of mics at a wedding.

It was insane. One of them was my high school Latin teacher. He was maybe the meanest person that I've ever met in my life. How'd he get the wedding invite? He's related to the bride. Wow, classic. And he's so mean, and I went up to talk to him

with my other friend Mike, and he was equally mean. That's crazy. He hadn't backed off his meanness at all. That's good. Yeah, he couldn't stop it. He couldn't quit it. Voce i pluribus i unum. Yes.

From one many or more. He who is mean once is mean forever. Interesting. Like there was a time in high school, he was just screaming at everybody. If you didn't do the homework perfectly, you were in huge trouble. And one time someone was getting their declensions wrong,

and he was made to stand in the back of the class. And he was so scared that he passed out and took out like an entire row of desks, and everybody just turned around to look. And he was like, back to your declensions! Just fucking screaming at us as our friend died in the back of the class. Sounds like you like it was like dead poets society or some shit. It was Yeah, oh, yeah, I forgot was it all boys all boys all brothers all brothers. It was nice. It was very nice

It was a incredible wedding. It was so fun like 400 people. Oh the wedding was all boys. Oh, yeah What do you mean? Oh, you're talking about the high school. Oh, the wedding was all boys. Oh yeah. What do you mean? Oh, you were talking about the high school? Oh yeah, both. There was at least girl teachers at the high school though. This was all boys. All bros' wedding would be awesome. That must be what a gay wedding is. Well, no, obviously not because gay people

are friends with girls and men, but it would be cool if you were a gay couple and then it was just like you only invited your bros. Just all gay dudes there. Basically any scenario where there are no women involved is what you're saying, would be fun. Yeah. Like the government's...

Seventy bros. The voting booths before. When did they get their right? 92? It was something recent. That's what they should do at weddings. They should Partition. They should separate people by gender. Like a high school or middle school dance. Yeah So like you like you like the ceremony happens, but then after like the party. Mm-hmm. Just bros Like that should be the bachelor party. Yeah, should be that night. The wedding. Yeah. No like dancing. No slow. I don't think they had a single slow dance.

Yeah, it was good. It was just fast dancing. You're not a fan of the slow dance? I don't like any like, I'm not a dancer. What, just regular dancing? I used to be a big dancer. You gave it up? Back when I was drinking, that was like my shit.

Dance. It was so fun to dance. I'd get like, I'd get like soaked in sweat because I'd be soaked in sweat, because I'd be dancing so hard. Really? Yeah. I have a hard time seeing it. No.

But I do, whenever I dance that hard that I'm sweating, I never wake up hungover the next day. Because you're exercising. You're working out. Through the booze. You're kind of buzzing afterwards. Yeah, it's awesome. It's nice, it's like you got a nice workout.

Then we have a Nagila the groom. You gotta do it. I was under the ass, and I had drank like I felt like my heart was going to give out. I was doing like Joe Rogan kettlebell full squat thrust. Fucking launching him. Speaking of the kettlebell, it has arrived. Oh, I know. Brother, I know. So I went home to drop off my shit before coming in and I was like pretty cutting it close on time. And I was like, all right, should I bring Rogan? And I was like, I'm going to bring him because I don't feel like having this in my apartment. And then I picked it up and I put it back in the box to carry it. And then I picked up the box and then I looked outside and the Uber was there.

And I was like, there's no way in hell this is getting there. You actually called an Uber and still decided you just couldn't do it dude It was like I don't think I would even be able to I don't think I would even be able to open my own door What are you ever gonna do? I don't know we might need to bring like three people in to help move it what? Wait, when was this was this like an hour ago in your apartment? This was like an act This is like 30 minutes ago. Dude, he fucking... Cause you said on Wednesday you're gonna bring it cause you're gonna bring an Uber.

I think I'm gonna put it in the backpack. But I didn't know that you still took an Uber today. Well, cause I was planning on... Well, also it's freezing out so I didn't want to bike. Understandable. That's not the point I'm trying to make. You had everything set up to bring it perfectly today. No, no, I didn't. That's the problem. You just had to make you had everything set up to bring it perfectly today. No, no, I didn't That's the problem. You just had to get it from your apartment to the uber downstairs, dude

I wouldn't have been able to open the door to the car You're gonna have to you're gonna have to do this anyway I know I said I'm gonna I think I'm gonna use a backpack or some sort of bag that I could like throw it over My shoulder. That's a good way to couldn't put that together in Today. No, I didn't have time. I Genuinely, I don't know what's so funny about that, I genuinely didn't have time. You could've just, the Uber could've just waited a minute

while you put the one item in the backpack. My backpack is full of clothes. What it takes for you to abandon an initiative in your mind is so little. No, it's really not. I mean, if you understood this, dude, you have no idea how heavy this thing is. I get that. 55 pounds.

I get, but it's not like you can like get a good angle on it where like you could carry it like, like there's no, I don't want to drop it farmers and then have it explode. Should do a little suitcase. Just a little suitcase carry. Dude, that's too heavy. It's 55 pounds. 55 pounds for a farmer suitcase carry. Oh dude, that's too heavy. It's 55 pounds. 55 pounds for a farmer's carry?

How did you get it up the stairs and into Harry's apartment? I carried it. You picked up the box. And carried it. And you carried it up, and then what, you had to put it down and open the door? No, I just opened the door. No way you had that thing with one hand, brother. Bro, do you understand?

I'm so positive. He had gravity working against him. I'd rather have gravity. Dude, for working against him. I'd rather have gravity. Dude, for someone that heavy, I'd rather have gravity working against me than with me. This thing is going down quick. It would have dragged you through the floor. Yeah. It would have created a sinkhole in the building.

Dude, it's so heavy that I put it on my ottoman when I was leaving and then I came back and put it on the floor because I was like, I think it might take out the autumn. You went back. Yeah, I was like leaving my apartment. You said the Uber was there. I was leaving my apartment and then I turned around and I was like, I got to move it again. The mind reels with the hoops that your brain jumps through. It can only be on the floor. It cannot be above ground.

You did so much more work to not bring the kettlebell in today than it would have taken to just bring it. No, I also went home. I would have just gone straight here, but I went home because I wanted to get my packages that arrived after Rome brought in my package. Both of them were stolen. Therefore, why I was pressuring you so hard to get the Rogan. And I did it. I know. But everyone thought I was crazy. You guys you guys were like it's not no one's stealing that thing Hey, dude, I talked to my super hold on a second The thought was that no one was gonna steal it because of how heavy it was they do it sounds like some determined Thief's came in and then we get that guy to bring the fucking yeah, we should what were the other packages?

I had two sweaters. Oh, yeah, that's so easily steel gone damn outfits for the next year. I know. I talked to the super. I was like, I had two packages that were delivered. And he was like, yeah, someone came in at like 2 in the morning the other night and just took everything. But how does that even happen?

How does that? Like, it's like a. Because there's no key required to get into your building. No, there is. How did he get in? I buzzed him in. Yeah, but the door is always open. There's always someone coming or going.

But that's my point. There's always someone coming and going. How did no one notice one person bringing everything outside and be like, hey, what's going on? They probably did it in stages. Or in Thanksgiving, in the middle of Thanksgiving prime hours. That's probably what it was. Probably like 2.30.

Yeah. Well, no, he said it was 2 a.m. that the person came in. Or maybe they waited until there was a parade coming down the block and then they went in and then blended in with the parade. Don't you think some drunk girl would have been coming home at night and been like, what the fuck are you doing?

No, she probably would have tried to seduce him. Like don't you think someone would have come through? Like if I was walking into the building and I saw a dude that didn't live there. Do you know all your people that live in your building? I know. I recognize pretty much everyone that goes in and out. Then you open yourself up.

It's even scarier to do that these days because you open yourself up to somebody actually living in the building, starting to film you and you then being like, why do you not think I live in this building? Okay. But there's a clear route. Racism. No, there's a clear route. Racism. No, there's a clear route. He's right.

That was bad. No, that is a thought that I've had before, but it is, there is a clear route of like, you grab your packages, you're going upstairs or you're waiting at the elevator. There's no going back towards outside. So who is grabbing- I've taken packages out of the building before. Why? I just wanted to see what was in them.

So you took them outside at 2am. There's never been a situation where someone has been in two in the morning and they're taking armfuls of packages and then leaving the building. I'm trying to think unless you're moving maybe. I think that there's a chance that nobody was there. I think that there's a chance that if they were hovering over the packages and someone else came in, they could have just stayed over the packages and just kept it moving. Or it could have been someone in your building.

See, that's what my main thought has been for the last couple of years. It could be a listener and they're probably like, oh, the sweaters are coming in. I don't want to say anything too crazy, but I because I don't know if anyone in the building is listens to the podcast. I think it's someone up top. Someone that I might be given some money to. Or you think it's a landlord. I think it's the I don't want to say that because I don't want to get kicked out of a super

I think it's the I don't want to say that cuz I don't want to get kicked out of a super Perhaps and and this isn't anti-semitic cuz you're Jewish and my super is not Jewish. Okay What is it? We have we have like two supers We have the one super who's actually the super the guy that does everything he fixes shit He he picks up packages and puts them where they're supposed to go everything. He fixes shit. He picks up packages and puts them where they're supposed to go. He moves the trash outside, like the actual super and then our actual super is a 90 year old lady who lives in a building who lives in the first apartment of the building. So I think it was her. I think and she lives with

like 15 people like all of her children. And I've had packages go missing the second they've gotten delivered. And then I go outside and there's a bunch of packages outside of her building, her apartment. What do these people look like? The people that are stealing the packages? The 15 people in that apartment. You don't know. It's literally like the Wizard of Oz.

You never see him. Dude you bang on that door to try and get to the super because I'll like forget my key sometimes like I need to get the spare key to open my thing and you bang on that door to try and get to the super, because I'll forget my keys sometime, like I need to get the spare key to open my thing. And you bang on the door, and you hear them in there talking, and then you're just banging. Put away the package, just put it away. You're banging on the door, and they just refuse to come out until you knock for five minutes straight.

And then they come out, and they're like, what do you need? But they send the old lady. Who's they? How old are they? What's a profile on these people? What kind of race are they? Oh, they're all whites. Really? How old are they? What's a profile on these people? What kind of race are they? Oh, they're all whites. Really?

How old? I don't know how old the other people that are living in the building are, but I know the super is like 90. How old are the people in her apartment? I just said, I don't know. I've never seen them. I thought you just said they come to the door. No, they push her to the door. Oh. Like she's the cover.

Because then you think, oh, obviously a a 90 year old lady's not stealing my package. I think you know how whenever people steal a bunch of money, but then the bank puts in the inkblot bomb or something like that, I think I gotta get a turd, you need to or glitter, something that will leave a mark behind. So like if there's a bunch of glitter on the floor of her apartment, or like right outside of the apartment, or just something that will stain so you can see what's going on What about if you just installed some hidden cameras in the package Depot area? Okay?

That's the thing too. What if we have have camera listener out here who happens to know how to install? security cameras That you could monitor we have they have cameras in the building and they always say like the super, the real super today, not the real super, the one that's actually doing shit. I asked him today cause he was downstairs and I was like, do you see any packages? And he was like, I saw a package with your,

with your apartment number, but they're not there anymore. And he was like, he was like, and then they looked at the cameras and they said someone came in at like 2 a.m. I want to show me the tapes because I bet if I look at those tapes, I bet I'm seeing a 90 year old lady walking out of apartment 1A and heading right over the mailbox. Right, with one of those stick cloth things picking up the package. Taking everything and they have a whole fucking file of people just, they're just hocking it to each other.

Oh, like baggage handlers at the airport. What about... You understand that Christmas is coming up, right? So this is the Super Bowl season for package thieves. If I were you, I would get those cameras set up as soon as possible. Yeah. I just don't think that's legal. We're not going gonna tell anyone. There are plants in the lobby,

like plants, like actual plants, where I think I could probably sneak a camera in there. How funny would it be if he had security cameras shipped to his apartment and the boxes they were in got stolen? They would. Or if he sets up the security cameras and someone steals their security camera individually.

I was so confident that these packages were going to get stolen that I ordered three sweaters. Another one I ordered. I ordered the red version of this. Wow. And for this one specifically, I messaged the person. I said, please do not. I said, can you do me a huge favor and not ship this until Friday? And now it's getting here today. Because I said, if it gets here during the weekend, I'm not there, it will get stolen. And they said, of course, dude, by the way, why don't you just ship stuff to the office?

It's such a pain in the ass. What? Listen to everything else has gone on with everything that you ship. It's crazy. Everything's getting stolen. But you can't handle it yourself. You can't bring it up. You can't bring it up. You can't bring it down. The Rogan kettlebell should have been shipped to the office. I will admit that. That and also if you're talking about sweaters, you just unbox it here and you just wear it

home or put it in a backpack. Bring the packages annoying. Fine. But what if it's like a Friday? So it stays over the night. There's a door person here. Or any of the other three days of the week that you're not here. Yeah, no, exactly. What if it's one of the days I'm not here and my package is getting here?

They'll remain safe and not stolen until you're here on Monday. You have a built-in doorman. That's what you're lacking. When you move in the next like whatever, eight years, you should get a doorman in your building. Yeah, doorman are cool. I don't want one. Actually, I wouldn't mind having one, but I are cool. I don't want one. Actually, I wouldn't mind having one, but I feel like, I don't know. Like I've had this problem at a couple apartments and I've had it at some other,

I didn't have it at other apartments. Like my first apartment, I never had anything stolen. My second apartment in Hell's Kitchen, that was the one where I came home and all of my belongings were scattered throughout the streets of Hell's Kitchen. Have I told you that story? No. Where I moved you that story? No.

Where I moved and I had my mom ship me shit and then I got home, like my PlayStation, like all my clothes and I got home and I opened the front door to the lobby and like there was shit outside and I was like, whose stuff is all this? And then I'm looking closer and I'm like, oh my God, this is my stuff.

You inspected the name on the inside of the boxer briefs. I was like, who's four pairs of Patriots sweatpants? That's my underwear right there. Who's five fly fishing hats? Yeah. No, this was years ago. I wasn't interested in any of those things then, but my PlayStation did get stolen. That's very devastating.

I'm a homeless man, which is even worse. You say, you know, he wasn't even playing it. He wasn't playing it. My PlayStation did get stolen. That's tough. It was very devastating. I do feel bad for you for that. By a homeless man, which is even worse. Yes. So you know he wasn't even playing it. He wasn't playing it. He pawned it. He probably sold it for like $2. For that good shit.

Yeah. Sad. You did have a conspicuous amount of marijuana at your apartment. That's not true at all. What? That's what everyone was commenting. There was one tiny little thing. Right. Yeah.

Where? In the background of a photo. It wasn't like I have pounds of weed in my apartment. Of where? Of which apartment? Your current apartment? My current apartment. When did you post a photo of that?

Rowan posted a photo of the Rogan thing. Oh, you saw the weed. I saw more than just the one that he was talking about. Well, that's probably it. There's no way that that's true. There was that one, and then there's another one on that exact same countertop. No, there isn't.

You can see the entire countertop. There's one thing on it. That's definitely why you had a hard time lifting the Rogan kettlebell, was because you were high. And I've tried to work out high. It's not fun. And I'm in shape. I can't lift a 55 pound kettlebell. That is crazy. First of all, I don't smoke weed. And second of all, if I was smoking weed,

you think I'm smoking weed before I'm boarding a flight? Lives alone, doesn't smoke weed, has weed in his apartment. People give me things. This math, do not add up. Dude, someone gave me weed. Oh, you were given the weed? Dude, someone gave me weed in LA. And you just held onto it.

When we went to the Super Bowl three years ago, and I think I just threw out the joint like a month ago. You had a pack of dog walkers, partially smoked, but like still full joints. I helped myself to one of them. Good, take them all. No, I didn't even finish it. I put it back in the pack because there was literally so much everywhere. Really? On your shelves. Oh, on my shelf there definitely is that. Yeah. By the way, I would guess that the reason you're getting your packages stolen is because everyone's assuming that people are sending you weed. And so you're getting a lot of... At 2 a.m., you that people are sending you weed. And so you're

getting a lot of... At 2 a.m., you're getting a lot of weed... No, I'm not getting weed delivered to me. I've had people after shows... I want to believe you, but everything that you say now seems like a lie. And I don't smoke it, but I've dabbled. It doesn't ever go well. So what about just you shitting one of your famous runny turds into a box. This is what I'm thinking as well. And putting fragile on it.

But putting, and putting a camera under the shit. Like I'm thinking like I lather a layer of shit and then right in the center you just see a lens and it's recording, maybe like a GoPro. How long does a GoPro record for? A long time. Probably like 10 hours. I don't know if it's that long. No, but you need something that's closed circuit that's going back to your

phone. Because if it's a GoPro, they won't give it to you. We could come over and hang out, smoke a bunch of your weed, and do sort of a marathon, stay up all night until the package thieves come. Let's do a stakeout. A stakeout bakeout. A bakeout stakeout. I actually do like the idea. Oh, I love that idea. I think it could be a good video.

Little like air mattresses on the floor, play video games, smoke some of the weed. But dude, I would get evicted from my apartment if we did this. If we did what? Why? If I filmed, if we did a video where, A, we're all smoking weed in my apartment,

this is a live stream, keep in mind. And then there's also a second feed that is video taping everyone going in and out of the apartment. That's like, not only would I not get evicted, I think I would get arrested. But for filming people stealing your packages. Yes. Why? So I read something on Reddit where someone said that they put a shit in it. They put a turd in a box. But then it's like, you can order turds in boxes. You gotta think about shit in it. They put a turd in a box But then it's like you can order a turn box smell there

You can order turds in boxes the whole lobby is gonna smell like shit We I feel like there's a way to rig some sort of a booby trap what it was I think someone did a turd and then they put an apple tag in it And then someone took the package and then they chased them down? I think. So there's shitexpress.com is a, you can send people boxes of shit all around the world. And you choose an animal, you give an address, you put a sticker and you pay and stay anonymous. You can choose an animal?

I think that's how it works. I think I'd rather that we all contribute a little bit ourselves. That'd be human shit? Excrement, yeah. I'd go animal. I feel like animal, I think is a bad move. There's less legal trouble?

Yes. Nobody's gonna be cracking down because it could be fertilizer. If there's three different human shits in one box and someone finds it, there's going to be a full FBI investigation into what occurred leading up to that. There's plausible deniability for all of us, though.

It's like when you do the firing squad and only one guy has the bullet, you know? Like three different shits. No, I thought it was going to be all of our shit. Yeah, three different shits. You can't pin the shit on one person. You can pin it on all of us because it's our DNA. Mine's a different color. It's's our DNA. Mine's a different color.

It's literally our DNA. Mine's red. It's got blood in it. Put fresh blood in it. From my workouts. That would mean it would be black. This is clearly a guy who doesn't go diarrhea. It's clearly a guy who's never had blood in his stool.

Yeah. Poor bastard. Everyone knows that bloody stool is black. I want there to be a single camera from a spy shop. I bet we could get like a $15 lapel camera or something like that that is live streaming and when they open we have a shot of their face and the surrounding shit. But the problem is like even if we get the person, what are the odds it was the same person that stole my beautiful spiders't matter we can just assume

Or we just we do this a bunch of times, but I think what we're really we're really hoping for enough weed We're not hoping I don't have any weed. We're not hoping for a person We're not hoping for someone breaking into the building and stealing my shit because that's what's assumed What we're hoping for is that it's the super. Yes, and if we catch the super's face or one of the Russian immigrants that are hiding under the floorboards of your super's apartment, then we have them caught.

Then we have them caught, but then what do we get? Satisfaction. A couple months of rent for free? Couple months? I'm thinking life. I think you'd give me hand over the keys. Dude, I had a guy break into, you know, the story. I had a guy break into my apartment while I was there, while I was sleeping. I don't know this story. I don't think you've never went. You never listen to a stand up.

I used to talk about this extensively. I don't think I've heard this one. I was sleeping in my apartment when I lived on 22nd Street and a guy came in and I heard him outside my bedroom door, walking around, opening drawers in my apartment. And I opened my sliding door and I was naked, because my clothes were in the drawer, set of drawers outside the bedroom. So I had to keep my dick behind the door. You had to make sure you were hard. And I was peering out sideways and I saw him,

and he was as close to me as you are to me. Yeah. And I'm naked and there's just a guy and I go, what are you doing? And he goes, I'm sorry, I got lost. And I go, get out of here. And he goes, chill out, man. I swear to God. And then I have a picture of him.

What was his? What was his? I have a picture of him. What was his? What was he? KS him? Yeah, I know. I actually think he was probably Latin of some kind. Okay. I don't know exactly. Latin, like from Rome? Like your old teacher.

Who's Greek? Vini, Vidi, Vici. No, but he was wearing a red overcoat and I recognized him because he had, I'd seen him in the building before. He was friends with one of the owners of the building and they would hang out. So I'd seen him before and I go, get out of here, man. You're in my apartment at three in the morning. You broke in. And he goes,

I got lost. And I go, I'm calling the police. And then he got out of the apartment and he got in the elevator because I was in the garden. And so I knew that in order for him to get out of the building, he had to go up the elevator floor. And then I raced up the stairs and as the elevator was opening. Naked. No, at this point I had put something on, but in the joke I told, I was still naked.

But then I took a photo of him getting out of the elevator and he goes, don't take pictures of me, dude. He was like huffy about the fact that I was catching him. And then I called the police and described him and they had him in five minutes. No way. In the back of a cop car. And by the way, I'm talking 10 cops descended upon this crime. That's crazy. So they were like, they had a cop car, he was in the back, there were three cops that

came into my apartment to check on me. There was like seven guys outside the building and they'd caught him in five minutes and they made me come out to confirm it was him. Confirm that it was him because they couldn't describe who he was or what he looked like because I guess that would somehow be a violation of whatever. Yeah, yeah. Makes sense. who he was or what he looked like, because I guess that would somehow be a violation of whatever. And then I had to go testify in front of a grand jury. And then he died six months later.

Turned out he was an informant. Sort of got, I'm trying to tell this story as fast as possible, because I know the listeners hate it when I tell stories. Why, I'm very curious. I need more details. But that is a true story, every part of that. And they got mad at me in the assistant district attorney who met me before I testified for

the grand jury because they had become aware that I'd been telling this story on the barstool breakfast. I'd written a blog about it and I was doing it in my stand-up act. And she said, it's very funny what I've seen. And I was like, thank you. But she goes, but it's going to be very hard to paint you as a victim in this case if you continue to try to make light of it. Why?

So you think that it was like collusion between the two of you? Like come rob me, I need a fucking bit. I think they were like trying to put this guy away because it was his fifth offense or whatever. And to say, to say that like, uh, you should he broke into the apartment of this poor guy and he and then to find out that you know I'm on stage being like yeah I broke in and my dick was soft and that was embarrassed like doesn't make it easy to make it seem like it was a dangerous crime but he was trying to steal tax documents that was he was stuffing them down his pants that's why he

was opening the drawers why was he trying to steal tax documents to steal my identity or sell my identity so it wasn't the first time that he was in no and and I say he died six months later because somehow it turned out that he was like actually working with he was like he was a criminal but he would also collude with the police so the police were trying to steal your identity well it was that was the part I never really understood but he got he got found out and he got killed. That's why the cops were there so fast. Yeah they were probably already there. Yeah they were probably like go in like you gotta run inside get this guy's whole identity. I

have a picture of him. Oh my phone's downstairs. A picture of a dead man. I have a picture of him coming out of the elevator and going, come on, man, don't take a picture of me. Was no part of you worried he was going to get physical? It was one of those things where I was kind of drowsy and not really making the right decisions, because I had been woken up from a dead sleep. Yeah.

And so I wasn't, I'd also, because I'd seen him before, I didn't think that he was. You'd already sized him up. I know you, I know that you size up every man you meet immediately. Sure do. And you're like, should I be afraid? Is this man a physical threat to me?

What level of artillery would he need on him to even put him on the evil level playing field? That's right. You had already assessed this man head and toe. I may have also gone to my butcher's block and grabbed my bread knife when I went out to take the photo of him. Yeah, that makes sense. Which was the wrong knife.

It's very hard to stick a serrated blade. Still a blade though. Sure. He doesn't know that. And it's probably going to do more damage. You would have to swing it like a sword. If you get it in. Yeah, you'd have to saw him.

If you get it in. Well, I knew it was, you know, it's probably my sharpest knife, not for nothing, because I never use it because I don't eat bread. Yeah. He probably knew that too. He probably did. He saw the figure, the shape. He goes, oh my god, that bread knife is sharper than ever. He's like,

I wish he brought the vegetable knife, it's probably so dull right now. the vegetable knife looks like a spoon yeah couldn't even make it through my skin the bread knife is fucking vicious the vegetable the vegetable knife would be the best one to stab with all things considered I was hoping you were gonna say that it got back to that something with the building was stealing, was hiring. Then because they, the owner was one of the owners, friends, he's in the family. There was like an ownership family of this building and one of the apartments in the building they had given to this guy and it was his buddy who was in my apartment. So I spoke to the big owner and I was like, this is nuts that this happened.

Well, it's not, you know, it's okay if he's Jewish. Harry's Jewish too, isn't he? No, he wasn't. I would never rent from a Jewish family. They wouldn't steal from you, that's for sure. No, I'm kidding. They gave me one month of rent free as an apology. Really? One month? Yeah. And I... I mean, that was probably a nice little nest egg. If I found out that...

Just to say this, I bought some new knives. I was able to buy a couple new knives I'm not a confrontational person and I'm not someone like I like I don't I don't hold grudges against people Very often like if like if I have a dog shit uber drive and the dudes like yeah fucking pissing me off the whole time I'm still giving him five stars and I'm still tipping him same cuz I Cause I'm like, all right, you're doing what you got to do. You're in different shoes than I am. I'm not going to like give this guy a bad rating and have him lose his livelihood. If I found out that the people that own my building were the ones that have been stealing my packages, I'm taking that up to the fucking,

that's going to Washington. I'm going to, I'm going to, that's going to the president. I'm getting, I don't know what I'm getting. I might get the building as a whole. I don't think you'd be, well. Yeah, you would have to get, you'd be able to get the I would get the entire building. But this is where you need to be realistic, because you getting them to lose their building

or whatever doesn't really do any benefit to you. What does benefit you is getting rent free. So that's where you should... I would literally not tell anyone. If you caught your owner of your landlord stealing your packages, I would try to solve that between you and your landlord. I would too. But then I would be worried that they would kill me. I have this on camera. This 90-year-old lady is not going to kill you?

Well, that's why you'd need to have witnesses and collaborators. Old New Yorker? Probably has like, she probably has like ties to the fucking mafia. I think that what you should do is before anything happens, you should kind of take an inventory of everything that has potentially been stolen. So you can put together a grand theft case.

It's gotta be up to like 20 things at this point. Well you should try to put together, like even if it's not exact, put together a grand theft case. It's got to be up to like 20 things at this point. We should try to put together like, even if it's not exact, put together a list. And then I would go right to the woman before you even waste time with the video cameras and say, I have you on camera. I have people on camera stealing my packages going into your apartment.

And then you could also tell her you've made copies of the videotape and sent them to six big newspapers to be opened in the event that anything happens to you. Right. That there's a cryptography and every single, you know, six hour period, you send a message to them that says, don't open the thing, don't open the thing. And if at any six hour interval, you don't send that, then everything is... Then it's a fucking explosive case.

Crack the case. I don't hate the idea. I think we're thinking a little, bake out, stake out sounds nice. The problem is though, they have me, they would have me on camera putting the camera. You don't ever put the camera there. I think start to start, I think I stage a package, and I think I go Apple Tag in the package.

If I go downstairs, say I'll leave it there for a week. If that package goes missing, but it is still in the building, I will know that it is someone in the building. But you need to know immediately, because they're gonna open it immediately. If they find the Apple Tag, they might throw the Apple Tag somewhere.

That's right, they're gonna go put the apple tag, throw it away or put it back among the power packages. But I think if you put- But what if I have, would I have, is there a way to set an apple tag to be like, give me an alert when the package being moved? If it moves, I don't know. But I think that what if you baked it into a cake or

something like that, something that they wouldn't fully deconstruct? Yes. Or like you put it- I would do, I'd be on that Apple tag so fast in the cake or something that they don't want way ahead of like a package of jewelry what about something that like they they wouldn't even want regard like what if I got like some dog what if I got like a fucking like a like a Halloween costume

yeah that's in one of those bags and I put it in because they're not there you're not gonna sell that you're to use it. So you just throw that away. But I put it in a box. Has any of the packages ever made it back out into the hallway? Did they ever say, I don't want this? We taped it and put it back out. Dude, I've had packages. So this hasn't happened in a while. This hasn't happened in a couple of months because I signed up for like the USPS like priority thing where like they have of months because I signed up for like the USPS priority thing where they have to assist you.

I'm getting updates every 10 minutes on where my package is. So I'm usually pretty good about I have to be home at this time to receive this package. So it hasn't happened in a while. And what has happened is there was a period of time where I was getting packages stolen on a weekly basis. I think it was probably close to when I moved because I was ordering a period of time where I was getting packages stolen like on a weekly basis. I think it was probably close to when I moved because I was ordering a lot of shit when I moved in

because I was having a bunch of shit get delivered and I was getting stuff stolen all the time. And then I didn't really order anything for a little bit and then I ordered a poster. I ordered a Mac Miller faces, the album poster and it got delivered. And there was the, since I have the USPS thing, they take the photo of the package in the lobby.

Literally five minutes later, it was gone. So is that USPS stealing it or what? I mean, who's stealing a poster? There's no way that you're breaking into an apartment to steal something and then you're picking up the fucking one ounce box. I believe in the honor of the mailman. I don't think it's going to be USPS. And just to go on that, we have a listener who messaged me who works as a mailman and

was a really nice guy, sent me a really nice message. And I want to ask him, I can't remember his name, but he, you know, is there, I'm sure there's a pretty strong code in the mail industry of never stealing or going through the packages. If you hear this, let me know. This was probably an Amazon package. I am starting to think that your other super is in on it. He's a good guy.

Yeah, you think that, but if he is covering for the other person saying it was, it was surprising how quick he was to like, I never even, I didn't insinuate any, I never even brought up something getting stolen. Why, why do I was sitting at the package area and I was looking around and then he came down throughout the trash room and I went up to him and I said, I had, and then he goes, he goes, oh, a couple nights ago at two in the morning someone stole a bunch of packages. Too quick.

I had. How do you even know I was asking him about the packages? That's what I'm saying. He has seen all of them. Two sweaters sent to you? Yeah, I heard about that. Yeah, he was wearing a sweater. Yeah, a red fishing sweater.

Here's another thing that you could do if you're worried about filming the inside of your building. You live on the first floor pretty close to over your door. You could put a camera on the outside to see if anybody's going out with any of your packages. Maybe you put the Apple tag in the shit, see if anybody goes out the front door with the package. And then- Is that fully legal? I think that might be fully legal. Oh, filming outside of your own apartment? 100%. People do it all the time.

Just filming the street. It's like a ring camera. We could also, dude, we could also just go and hide with a viewpoint of where the packages are. Isn't there a way that we could kind of see... You'd have to be across the street kind of. That would... But then we're also thinking, like, what if this takes two weeks to unlock? I have the time, you of. But then we're also thinking, what if this takes two weeks

to unwind? I have the time. You have the weed. We're going to be fine. It's going to be so high. There's so much weed that we need to get through. When we get this, we need to make one of our demands that we can smoke endless amounts of weed

in your apartment. Once we get over on your 90-year-old landlord and the Russians living underneath her floorboards, we need to write it into our clause. I think we've already got, I think we got it figured out. Oh yeah. I think it's, I think Apple Tag goes in a fake box and then camera, ring camera on my balcony.

Yes, ring camera outside on the balcony. On the fire escape. To see if anybody goes out. Yes, fire escape, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fire escape will do it. That's because then you see if anyone's going out and then maybe you recognize them. Maybe it's the guy who smoked crack, you know?

In which case, great. Enjoy the sweaters. At least we'll know it's not this sweet 90-year-old lady. But if she's been working your building for as long as we think, she has probably stolen everything from every one of you. I just don't understand how it happens so consistently, and no one does anything What if as soon as you go into her apartment? There's a fucking shiny Mac Miller poster on her wall. It probably is There probably is furious. I want to get in the apartment. There's probably everything in there

I had a package delivered just now. It probably looks like an Amazon fulfillment center in there, dude What are you shopping so much? What's the matter with you? Oh, I remember I said that the red sweater I said to ship on Friday arrived today. If the red sweaters gone, I'm going straight into the super department. Just kicking down. I'm gonna go I'll go I'll go right in. Yeah. I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I got delivered one hour ago. What happened in the last hour?

I feel like I want to go watch that box. And you think it's a crazy thing for me to be like, give me the tapes? I want to see the tapes. But also I want to re-sign here. You should say, I have an idea of who it is. Could I see the tapes? You're going to have to do away with that because that's leverage for her. Because you think if there's a tenant living in the building that's asking for the security footage, do you think they're like, we don't want to deal with this anymore? No way

They can't kick you out for asking for this but they could they could like be like we just aren't gonna let you resign They wouldn't do that. That's crazy. You have a right to ask for that. You have a reason to do I Have some cops that might work in that precinct. Yeah. Oh, I know some of the cops down there I need numbers cuz I I had that city bike stolen. And then I went to the police precinct, and they were super cool. You had a city bike stolen? Yeah.

Have you seen that video? I have the video. I remember. You've told that story. I had a city bike stolen that I had leaned outside of a Kinkos or something, FedEx store. I was busy shipping packages that I'd found. Leaning a city bike is crazy.

I think I'm going to do the Apple Tag and the Ring camera. It'd be kind of a fun gig is if you just said like, I'm selling like Storage Wars, where you could bid, you could make people bid on packages you'd stolen, but you didn't know what was inside. Yeah, mystery boxes. You could tell people the weights. That actually is a show.

You could tell all the people the names of the people that they were intended for and decide if that was like a rich name. That's literally a show. Mystery boxes. The storage units that are. I know, I just said storage wars. Like storage wars. Are you saying that's the show? Yeah. Just with packages. I know it's a show. That's why I cited

it. I misheard you. I don't know why you said storage wars. And then for some reason I was thinking of like an HGTV show. Okay. I think it's, it might be on HGTV. It might be. Yeah. But yeah, the storage war is the one where you bet on the storage unit. Yeah, they don't know what's inside the unit when they bid on it. Yeah.

They can look, but they... Who are those shows for? Who is Storage Wars exactly for? I'll be honest, I've watched- I would absolutely watch that show. JetBlueFlights, you're watching Storage Wars. If you're taking a JetBlue flight, you're watching Storage Wars.

I wonder how they knew that that was gonna be good programming. Like it's just such a random- pretty much like gambit's like watching someone gamble. Yeah, it's it's it's it's a it's a Trashier version of antiques Roadshow, which everyone loved It's basically it combines like pawn stars Antiques Roadshow and and seven. Yeah I mean, I think it's like people, like you're just hoping that someone's going to get something sick. Correct. You're hoping that someone's going to spend $5 on a unit and they're going to open up and there's going to be,

it's going to be like filled with the gold bricks. It must have happened before to these lucky people. Probably. Yeah. Oh, whoops. I forgot to pay rent on my storage unit that contains all my gold bricks. Shoot. How did I let that lapse? There's $14 million of gold. Well, I ran out of money.

I couldn't access my gold bricks. I couldn't lock in and get on my gold bricks. It makes me want to start live streaming that instead of football Just us guys going to storage units. It's not a bad idea Hey boys, let me ask you something. How much data do you use? I mean way too much Hasn't it been feeling like a fuck ton lately? It's been feeling like a fuck ton It seriously feels like a fuck ton anytime. I'm checking my data. I look at my data. I go I'm fucked It seriously feels like a fucked on any time I'm checking my data. Every time I look at my data I go, I'm fucked.

You need to get to, you need to do a little bit of work to unfuck that. Okay? Let's be real. You're probably getting ripped off by your current mobile phone carrier, but here's the good news. You switched to mobile X to get unfucked. Okay? Unfucked.

Yep. And that's real. I've been fucked for a long time. Well, it's time to get on fuck I'm ready. Okay, and whatever that might entail pulling whatever out of wherever It's time for you to get on fucked mobile X the new kind of mobile phone carrier that will save you a ton of cash On your phone bill simply download the app and take control of how much you pay People are paying for mobile data that they don't use with mobile X

You only pay for what you use and never what you haven't there's no catch honestly it's hard to believe that you could be saving up to 90% on your phone bill when you switch to mobile X and you're probably using way less data than you think and paying way more than you should one reason a lot of people are connected to Wi-Fi and aren't even using mobile data okay so go check out my mobile X dot com or download the mobile X app from the App Store or from Google Play guys Let's take a second and talk about game time game time We love getting out to live events whether it's a concert football game comedy show We always use game time and the official ticketing partner of Barstool sports

You know how much we love game time and we love their new Feature game time picks and they're making it even easier to get to a game. Game Time Picks features filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets. I mean, Seth, you're looking at Patriots games. Obviously, you go to the GT Picks section and bam, you get a pretty darn good price. I'm not going to say what you spent, but let's just say. I'll give a full honest review here.

I was looking at the game time tickets. I had the map open. I wasn't really thrilled with what I was seeing and then I clicked on the picks tab and those are the ones I went with. It's right at the top of the screen. It's the house by far. Yeah, incredible, incredible deal.

Down with the game time app today and use code boydad to easily score great deals with the new game time picks feature. What time is it? Game Time. And can I also just remind everybody that Game Time will be taking me to maybe some Eagles games? I don't know. I might go to some Eagles games with Game Time. Perhaps the Super Bowl. I might go to the Rangers tonight. The New York Rangers via Game Time.

That sounds so nice. Not a bad idea. Well, I mean, no matter what your preference is, your predilection, make sure it's Game Time, okay? Game Time. Game Time. Speaking of football, what a week. What a week of ball.

I mean, I've, the last 72 hours plus, the only thing I have done is watch football. Bro, I watched ball from the 1pm game to the 4pm. Then I watched 15 minutes of Mad Men until the 415 game started. And then I watched the 415. 425. Yeah. What didn't one started?

One starts at four. Okay. So you don't have red zone. I do. You do. Yeah. But was there a lull in red zone? Because I feel like those the first slate of games bled right into the second slate. I feel like I got hit with a lull in red zone or maybe in my red zone

My red zone thing might just be up. It also might have been between the the 4 p.m. Games and the Monday, the Sunday football game. I went to the Patriots game yesterday. What? Yeah. It was a good game. It was a good game. Good game 25-24. Soul crushing ending. The Patriots are really bad. No, they're not. They're bad. They're not good. Yeah, they're not a good team, but like they're going to be, I think they might win the Super Bowl next year. Well, they're going to draft that guy from Arizona, Tet McMillan. Yeah, I don't know who we're going to draft. Tet Tyrone. Probably receiver. All we need is, we need one good receiver. Ted McMillan or Luther Byrd,

and I'm looking after you guys. Keep Douglas around. Keep Booty around. Then I watched the entirety of Sunday Night Football. I watched the whole Bills game. Yeah, I watched that whole game too. It wasn't very good. This was the first time in my life, I think I watched 10 straight hours.

Brother, I watched. That's amazing. It was amazing. I've never done that before. I watched all the Thanksgiving games, and then I watched the Chiefs Raiders game on Friday, and then I watched all the college football games. I watched the Georgia Tech game front to back,

eight overtimes. I watched the entire thing thing and then I woke up and I watched Michigan, Ohio State, and then I watched Alabama, Auburn, and then I watched, and then we also watched Texas A&M, Texas, and then I watched BYU at like 10 p.m. I would like to throw down the gauntlet to the entire roster of Barstool Sports.

Who watched more ball than my boy this weekend? Nobody. I would like to throw down the gauntlet to the entire roster of Barstool Sports. Who watched more ball than my boy this weekend? Nobody. Literally. Like, raise your hand. There's no way Big Cat, there's no way Jersey Jerry, there's no way like Brandon Walker. None of them watched more ball than you. Speaking of Brandon Walker, crushed him in fantasy.

It might have been the comeback of the century. We were texting and we were both like, it's over. Who? Me and Brandon. Like, cause like I was down by 30 points going into the APM game. And you needed James Cooks to go crazy. No, but then the Bucks game went to overtime and my kicker, who was the Bucks kicker,

took me to the next level and Baker Mayfield completed like three more passes to Mike Evans. Took me there. All I needed was 20 points from James Cook. That breakaway touchdown, I was screaming. Screaming. In your apartment? Yeah. No, I was home. I was with my parents. Really? Yeah. Oh man, I wish I had... They must have been so, they were probably crying

seeing you have an interest. No, they were like, they were like, nah, they weren't thrilled. Fantasy sounds so fun. I wish I... Yeah, he started Dak Prescott against me this week. Do we have a trade deadline? It's probably passed. I think it did because I was thinking about throwing Francis. I've been getting really into the fantasy like I don't care about the bets at all anymore. All I care about is just winning in fantasy and I Was thinking about like offering you cash for for some of your That was good players

Like you had a couple wide receivers that I was looking to get off your hands like who? You have neighbors yet neighbors is awesome. Oh, he does not like, he's not great. He had Lat McConkey, Mark Andrews. Yeah, you got Mark Andrews. Both on the both on the bench. Brock Bowers and Mark Andrews. See your team. Oh no, that's Brandon Walker. That's Brandon Walker's team. I'm lying. Oh, he had a couple guys that just aren't getting used properly. Yeah. You have Hopkins. Yeah, you have Hopkins Yeah, that was a big pick up me by me you have a read job Nick Chubb you have Mason who's probably gonna be pretty good. I drafted Nick Chubb when he was injured at the start of this Oh read that's what I wanted. I wanted Jayden Reed Jayden Reed one of my favorites

So how much money do I have to pay you to drop him? At a specific hour you just pay me a weed. I know you don't have to get through the waiver wire if you drop them at the specific hour. You're talking to the commish brother. Yeah but we can all that we can all vote to veto it. If he gets dropped at a specific time it does not have to go through the waiver wire. You think that democracy is dead bro? If I if he drops it like mid game or maybe post game Thursday It's crazy cuz you had 165 points which should be like one of the best in the league you had the best game I'm over here with 175 points fucking I mean, I'm a I'm a cold weather team

We're runs it runs a threat Owen actually beat me last week too, which was devastating. I thought I was going to win out. I thought I was going to win out and then maybe lose in the playoffs. No, you beat Brandon for first. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're not making the playoffs. You're probably going to be competing with Moog in the

toilet bowl. Moog is still, there's still a chance that I could beat Moog. Dude, Moog is the worst. Moog's in last place. Do you understand that I literally have not played in eight or nine weeks? I don't know about that, though. You're starting to beat me.

Huh? You and Zero are starting to put back some deep career. Dude, I was going back and looking at it. And his quarterbacks are Josh Allen and someone else. Jack Prescott. And no, that's, he has Jack Prescott. Oh yeah, yeah. Dude, I was going back and looking at the season earlier.

I was getting like, my first three weeks, I had like 60 points total. That's not true. No, I was like, I was in like the eighties and the sixties. Oh, averaging 60 points. I'm really excited about this idea of solving the box crisis. I am too.

That's big too. I don't mean to divert us. I just want to say I want to take that seriously. I'm actually very invested in that. I'm going to get the Apple tag and I'm going to get the ring camera tonight. Do you want to order it right now so we could see? No. We'll do it later.

You think that there's an actual threat to democracy, Francis? Francis, by the way, I'm asking, not you. Well, I have more ball than I have to speak of. No, I don't think so. I think that's overblown. That there's no threat to democracy. What does that even mean? What is a threat to democracy?

I don't know. I'm trying to learn how to- The guy that tried to kill Trump was a threat to democracy. I'm trying to learn how the Greek democracy fell, the original Grecian democracy. People turned to dictators in times of uncertainty, right? They like a strong man. Not me. Especially in times of war, I think.

I mean, we kind of like suspended our democracy in World War II. Just let FDR keep being the president. Well, so he was the original threat to democracy and he couldn't even walk. Yeah. I mean, I say that he still ran. We still had an election, but he got, he ran four times. Are your socks on backwards? No. Why is it yellow in the front? Smart wool.

Let's see. I love smart wool socks. Oh, wow. I thought the yellow is supposed to be at the heel. Wow. That is good socks. Great socks. I had to pick them up for the Patriots game. How'd you get tickets? I bought them. Really? Yeah. Game time? I bought them with game time. The best. Game time did not give me them. That's easier to buy them. It's also nice to get them. Yeah but it's nice to buy them. It's nice to support the Patriots It's nice to put a little money in their pocket though. We were nosebleeds though. We were up there It was so cold. Who's we me and Mike me and my boys Now me my buddy Nate and then my friends Brendan and Hunter

New boiler I did something really sad. I had something really sad happen this week All right. Well before before that, let's talk about the Eagles. Eagles are sick. Do you think the Eagles are going to win the Super Bowl? Who knows? The Eagles look really good. They look really good.

They were saying last night that the Eagles and the Lions are in a division of their own. And I think the Eagles might be better than the Lions. Eagles are really good. Lions just had a nice little threat from the Bears. I don't think that the Ravens are any are that that I think the Ravens are being under counted right now. But after they lost to the Eagles last night. Yeah, I think so.

But I think that like Ravens, as far as Super Bowl contenders go, yeah. Bills have to be up there. Chiefs, until somebody else knocks off the Chiefs, they have to be in the conversation. I think the Bills are up there just because of how unbelievable Josh Allen is playing. Yes.

Everyone's talking about Saquon being MVP and then Josh Allen has that game on Sunday night football in the snow. Josh Allen has to be the MVP. And he's got to be right out in front of you. What if Saquon breaks the rushing record? Eric Dickerson. What's he at? He at $14.99. So he needs to average 120 yards a game for the last six games.

He's on pace to rush for, it's like 2,105. He's on pace to finish with 2,151 right now. Interesting. See, this is what annoys me, because then Francis pretends that he doesn't watch football, and then all of a sudden. Oh, I'm just coming out. I was doing some math earlier.

I don't know much about this. Just practicing some good math. So if he breaks the rushing record. You gotta give it to him. Because Adrian Peterson won the MVP as a rusher, but he didn't break the record. Although he wasn't far off. Yeah, but Josh Allen's playing so well.

How do you not give it to Josh Allen? I mean, he's carrying his team. If he breaks the Russian record, that's how you don't. He would have to break the Russian record. Say, Kwon. Also, Lamar Jackson, you could argue, is having a better season than Josh Allen. In no way could you argue that. He has more rushing touchdowns and throwing touchdowns than Lamar Jackson. But his touchdown to interception ratio is insane. He has three interceptions-

Josh Allen's thrown one or two interceptions the entire season. Is that right? Yeah. I think that the Steelers can maybe sneak into the conversation. I mean, you can't- I put a future on the Steelers. You can't ignore the Vikings. They're like weirdly in the conversation.

Maybe the Packers in the conversation could make a run. Why did I see a list of the statistics of the quarterbacks and think that Lamar Jackson somehow statistically was ahead of Josh Allen? Fake news, threats of democracy. What would that be? I'll look it up. I don't know. I might be wrong.

I don't know. I'll look it up. I mean, yeah, I don't know. For some reason, I saw something that astounded me at the season that Lamar Jackson was having. And I know that every time I watch Josh Allen, he does something I've never seen before. I mean, Lamar Jackson's always in the conversation. He's always going to be in the conversation for MVP. I think he's still so easily winning MVP.

Sure, of course. And I don't mind that as a phenomenon, to be honest with you. Yeah, let everyone have a chance to win. Joker could win MVP every single fucking year in the NBA But you know that just gets dull voter fatigue All right, Josh Allen currently has 2691 yards 20 touchdowns

Five interceptions. There you go. It doesn't say how many rushing touchdowns he has on this though. Oh, wait, let me go Oh, no, cuz that's underpassing. They both had to be up there. I think before yesterday, Lamar Jackson had 27 touchdowns and three interceptions. And the three interceptions that he's had, not a single one of them was his fault. They were all like deflections.

It's like Drake May. It's like Drake May. Why, do you guys believe in the Eagles? I believe in the Eagles now. Big time, yeah. After all that slander you had earlier in the year. I still don't think they're going to win the Super Bowl. I don't think Sirianni's capable.

After all that slander you had earlier in the year, I'm pretty sure you said, the Eagles are us. They were. You did say that. You said they're us. Did they start 0 and 2? No. Oh. They started 1 and 0.

They started 2 and 2. But never had a losing record. Could be their year. All right, 2024. I want to know the sad thing that happened to you. Well, we're on ball right now. Lamar has more yards. Rushing or passing?

He has more touchdowns. And fewer interceptions. He has less interceptions. There you go. All right. That felt good. How many rushing touchdowns does Josh Allen have? You know. Josh Allen has six rushing touchdowns as Josh Allen have. You know.

Josh Allen has six rushing touchdowns. I don't think Lamar is probably too far off. Lamar has three. Okay. How many desserts have though? Doesn't matter. Fucking 12. Damn, that's crazy.

Oh yeah, I was way off. Is it, you've been locked on the Patriots, bro. It's not your fault. I have been. It's tough. It's tough if you're a Red Zone watcher and it's versus a single team watcher. I actually switched from the Red Zone to the Eagles game because that was the only one I wanted to watch.

Yeah, there's merits to being a single team watcher. You watched the playoff hold. The Panthers game was great. Panthers. Frisky. Watch out, Eagles. Could be a trap game this week. Eagles, Panthers. A lot of people are getting caught up in the Panthers frisky. Watch out. Eagles. It could be a trap game this year. This week. Eagles Panthers. A lot of people are getting caught up in the Panthers trap. Yeah, I think

they're taking days off during the prep weeks and it's the Panthers. We don't have to we don't need to study film. Eagles are like a 12 point favorite against the Panthers right now. Panthers could cover. They could win out right. They could cover. They could win out right. Let's take that spread. I love that. I love win outright. Let's take that spread. Should we? I love that.

I love that spread. We got to put together a fat parlay this weekend. There's only five weeks left to parlay. Dude, Raiders were like plus 13. Hammered the spread. Hammered. Division game. Easy.

Easy. Easy lock. Tell us the sad thing that happened. Well occasionally now I get out of nowhere. Now that it's known that I'm single, I get these unsolicited sexy photographs from women. Some of them are like, I think, spam. But occasionally they'll be some nice ones. Are they in your Instagram?

I got to go way, I got to go not just open DMs, I got to go into the unread DMS and then the filtered ones. It's deep. Is it the third level of inception? What types of accounts are they? Some are real. No way. And you know, the real because they're accompanied by a message that is intended for me. Usually like I I understand you're going through a rough time, so I just wanted to help perk up your day. They're pity nudes. That's very, that's nice of them.

Very interesting. And, but they're always sandwiched between a lot of hate messages. Fuck you, I hate you, you're ruining son of a boy dad, etc. And so sometimes I'll go in there when I'm horny to look and I'll, you know. And you don't know what you're jerking off to. Yeah. Well, it's like this, this self-loathing combination of like pity nudes and people telling me I'm a fucking loser and I should die. And it's a pretty self destructive way to reach an orgasm. That's hilarious. Yeah. That happened this weekend when I was on over.

Well, what a nice treat that you reach an orgasm to whoever. Well, it wasn't the nudes. It was the hatred, hatred messages. Did you go out with I know that you were going to go out with like Tommy and like Rhea and Marty and- Oh yeah. Yeah, we went out. How did that come to be? I just had been, they have talked about how they go out to nightclubs every once in a while. Little Sister? That's where they went. That's where we went. That's their spot,

right? Yeah. How was it? They have a routine. We go to a late dinner. We went to dinner at like 9.45. And I made the mistake of drinking all day, which was dumb because- That'll tuck you out. Yeah, I'm 35 years old.

So we went, I met them and I was- Where'd you go to dinner? Charlie Bird, which is good. American, new American? Yeah. where'd you go to dinner? Charlie Bird Which is good American New American. Yeah What'd you get? I don't know you were that fucked up Well rear ordered for the table which we needed because there was it was all discombobulated And she like show and then I wasn't that hungry so I don't know much I hate when that happens when a girl orders for the table. No when someone's like I'm gonna let's just order a bunch of shit I'm like no, I want something.

I want a full meal. I usually feel that way. In this case, it was so good that she did because, I mean, no one was able to get their shit together. People wanted different amounts of food. Nobody knew what we wanted. It was just better to family style the whole thing. All right. I just don't know why you have a problem with the girl ordering for the table. That had nothing to do with it. amounts of food. Nobody knew what we wanted. It was just better to family style the whole thing.

I just don't know why you have a problem with the girl ordering for the table. That had nothing to do with it. I mean, you just jumped out the window. You could have told me that Tommy did it and I would have said, that's Tommy. Of course. Of course, everyone would object to that. I would have hated it if Tommy had done it, but Ria did a good job. And we had food was great. And then we went to, by that point, it was like 11, 30, 12, and we weren't supposed to go in

until even like 12, 30. And these numbers are showing up on my watch and phone. And I'm just like, holy shit, this is getting late. And we finally went into the club at like one, got set up with a nice table. And I mean, I hadn't been to a nightclub like this in 10 years. Yeah.

And we just did a bunch of dancing at the table. Who foots the bill? We all split it. It wasn't that expensive. Who puts the card down? I think Ria did. But we all- Any problems with that?

I think we've been- Sass? How much was the bill bill 200 bucks a person where you guys getting how many keep waters five wasn't yeah I think they cut us a deal or or Ria just like subsidized subsidized yeah Ria just dropped a band casually well I'm here for the dinner and that was $7.50. Jesus. And then people, it's five people.

It was like a $300 a night. It was you, Rhea, Marty. But I knew it was gonna be that, so I'm geared up for it. Tommy and Kelly? Didn't buy any clothes last week. Me, Kelly, Tommy, Rhea, Marty, and Noah. Oh, wow. Six of us. Six. us. Oh, wow.

Six. Yeah. So at the nightclub, we were, I mean, we had a great table that was in the middle of everything. And then people kept like taking up more and more of our space because our table was open to the sort of dancey floor area. So then I tried to start creating a barrier. Yeah, put the elbows akimbo. Excuse me, you're in general admission?

Yeah. Let's see a wristband. This is an area for people who have paid for a table. What kind of? You're bleeding in. Yeah, they can't bleed in. There's no way, I feel like going to a nightclub in New York City on what night was this, Friday?

Saturday. On a Saturday night is only $1,000 for six people at a table? And you guys got a bottle? Yeah, we had a- Ball service? At least one, if not two. That sounds like that's like, I mean, I've never been to a nightclub, but in my imagination, I would think that would be like $10,000.

Yeah. I mean, they probably get a deal. They might have been nice to us. Well, they probably counted on us get a deal. They might have. They might have been nice. Well, they probably counted on us talking about it on Son of a Boy, Dad. True. I knew it was all shot out. Shout out that club one more time. Little sister, little sister. I will say this. There were not for pedophiles.

They do card. What a weird. I left it like I left it probably 233 and I went out, when I went out there was still a line the size of the block of people trying to come in at 3 in the morning. That's retarded. I couldn't believe it. But you guys didn't wait in line did you? Not at all. We got taken in through the fucking kitchen like it was Goodfellas. Damn. I'm not even kidding you

What was the ball was the club experience like dark crowded? And their lights weren't on very much either Did you meet the anybody like from your Instagram DMS or anything like that? No, I I recognize me from my tits I didn't I didn't My tits are down here. Hello, Francis. Recognize me? My tits are down here. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. I'm not crying right now. It's easier if I'm squinting through tears. Wait, whisper something nasty in my ear? Maybe I'll... I didn't, I don't think I spoke to a single girl.

Not one. Well, were they? Or is it like Noah and who else is single in that group? Tommy. Tommy? Tommy is the, the Wrangler and he's, he just bides his time. He's very patient and just sits up on the thing and has like surveys his world, nods his head.

I was dancing pretty hard. I was having a good time. You guys take any performance answers? No, no. I can't fuck with that. Drugs? Too fun. I was gonna ask if you guys took any Molly.

Yeah, that's a drug. You did Molly like a week ago. What are you talking about? We literally have an entire episode about you doing Molly. No, it was ecstasy and I didn't really realize I was doing it. It's the exact same thing. No, it's worse. No, it's a little bit dirty. That's like being like,

Molly's a clean version. Roman being like, you have cannabis in your house and I'm being like, no, I don't. It's web weed. It's the same thing. I forgot about that. And then that was last New Year's. So a year ago. That was that long ago?

That's crazy. That was like three months ago. No, there's no way that was last New Year's. It wasn't that long ago. I think you're right. It was over the summer. Yeah, you're right. That's right.

So I don't know. No performance enhancers. I don't have a whole lot to say about the nightclub experience. I had a great time. Trevor, Tommy's wrangling like an Australian cattle dog. I know. Does he just get to pick at the end of the night? He seems to have it down to a science. He knows what he's doing. The girls love him.

And Ron had told me that, but I'd never seen it in person. Him and Glennie Balls. Tommy is a- No one talks more than Tommy and Glennie Balls. Tommy's a hound. Tommy, Tommy fucks more than Glennie. You think? I know.

Sad to say. You got to catch Tommy out at the shore over the summer. I city biked home that night. Really? On exercise. Because I stopped drinking. I stopped drinking after. And you danced hard enough, you probably would have been so.

And then I was fine, so I just city biked home. How far away were you? Well, that club is, it's like... Must have been freezing. Almost in the East Village. It was cold. Going over the bridge with like your hands falling off is a nasty feeling. It's the worst.

Dude, the biking, I got gloves finally, but the biking in the cold is not fun. Those ones, those hand warmer sleeves that the delivery guys have, those look so nice. I'm pretty sure those are just duct tape. Maybe. I'm pretty sure they just build them. The chapping that happens is nasty too. Yeah. My whole face gets chapped. My nose gets chapped. It's fucking hands throbbing Yeah, I would do it again. I would do it again. How would you do it differently? I would not drink during the day leading up to it. Maybe like a midday nap Yeah, yeah, but it's probably not the worst because you probably got out of there pretty early

Yeah, that's my goal What is what is your goal? I don't know. I don't know what my goal is I just wanted to experience it with them. They were fucking awesome. It was a great crew. It's never worth it staying out until the sun is out. No one's ever been like. Wasn't the sun out?

I know, but that's what I'm saying. It did fuck me up for three days. I didn't sleep right for three days. It was so much. Because the ecstasy drains all your dopamine. You're trying to do to me what I have done to you all episode with the weed and it's working and it's funnier. It's not because it's working. It doesn't affect it's working and it's better if eyes if people think I do ecstasy. I'll be totally open about his parents. Don't listen.

I'm gonna send this episode to your parents to skip the beginning. There's some interesting stuff at the end that you might want to hear about Is it true that you're gonna abandon Delta next year? Look people have been talking Who? Me specifically you've been dark. There's been a falloff and it's been dramatic As a Delta lounges it does anyone else have anything to add on no one agrees Is it better which ones are you talking about? There's been a fall off on the planes. There's been a fall off on the lounge.

But the Delta 1 lounge at JFK is the nicest lounge in aircraft. But we don't fly Delta 1 every time we fly. Just saying. There's been a fall off. The prices are high. I'm noticing a lack of sky priority lines in most airports outside of LaGuardia and Logan. And Mincy missed his damn flight.

And Mincy missed his damn flight. We don't even know what airline he was flying. I hope it was Delta. I hope to God it was Delta. I'm just saying. The last couple times I've flown, like I kind of cut, I feel like I cut Delta some slack when I'm on a short flight, when I'm on one of those Delta shuttles, the connections flights

they call them. The puddle hoppers? Yeah, I cut them some slack on those, but those planes suck. They're dog shit. They're tiny. There's no room at all. That's the New York to Boston flight. That's the New York to Boston, the Boston to, or like New York to, you even get those

sometimes like New York to Chicago and New York to Philly. Like the shorter flights you get those. But like even like, like I did New York to Columbus, that's like an hour and a half shuttle flight. So it's like you get them a lot and they, and they do suck. There's no TVs. And, and then when we were going, when I went to Chicago recently for the Out of Order show, I flew home on American Airlines and my God, I was surprised.

I saw some things that I did not know American Airlines had, I didn't know they stepped up their game like that. But you said you switched to United. Well, and then every time I fly United, I mean, it's just the... United's Polaris is good. Define Polaris for those who don't know what that was. That's their business class. That's their Delta One.

Those are their lifelass seats. It is so much cheaper than... Dude, if I'm going to California... I don't know if that's true. Oh, I know it because I do it all the time. Well, you should consider United because it's easier for you to get to Newark than it is to get to LaGuardia and JFK. Yeah.

From where you live. Also- But the Delta, the Delta and Newark is great. It's not that good. It is, when was the last time you've been? Because I was there today. What did you- Did you stop at the lounge? But you landed there,

which meant you couldn't go into the lounge. Oh, I go into the lounge. What are you talking about? I stopped in, said hi. I go into the lounge when I land all the time. They let you do that? Yeah. When you're diamond medallion. I thought that when you land at an airport and your flying is done. No. No they do that in like foreign countries. You're not allowed to go into the lounge. They do that in Iceland. Hardcore. Am I crazy? Why did I think that? Ron, did you, or did you guys have that when you went to Iceland? That when you landed, you were like, it's like 6 a.m. and you're like, I got to get a fucking coffee or something. And then everywhere you go, they go, they're kind of see your boarding pass. And then you show the boarding pass and they're like, this is people who are departing. And you're like, I can't even buy a

fucking drink because I've landed at the airport. I didn't get that. There weren't even customs in Iceland. We just fucking walked out of the airport. It was really. Yeah, that's nuts. Fucking rules can't be true. There's amazing. I'd never experienced anything like it. I mean, there's just no way that that's true. There wasn't a fucking stitch of custom. Do we didn't get any security at the Patriots game yesterday.

And as a Barstool employee, you'd think you would get some personal security. No, no. No, we didn't get anything. What do you mean? No one patted you down? No one patted me down. I didn't have to take anything out of my pockets at all. Anything.

Just scanned the tickets. Someone said they have some new AI thing that just can detect if you have a gun or a bomb with you. It's just the family guy like color grading test. Yeah. We have this new AI that just judges people by the color of their skin and not the content of the character. Yeah, I don't know.

But yeah, I mean, so I think, so I've flown the, what was the word? Polaris. Polaris? Polaris. I've flown the Polaris. Polaris. I've flown the Polaris on United many times and dare I say the food is better.

The prices are better. Dare I say the experience is better? From South Africa to Newark direct. That's gotta be one of the longest flights in air travel. Did you fly Polaris? Yeah. And it was it's gotta be one of the long Did you fly Polaris? Yeah, okay, and it was really nice and that was sorry. I didn't hear you what it was United Yeah, yeah Polaris. It's Polaris

United is only Polaris Polaris is United the name for their first-class cabin that has the lie flat seats. I understand now Are you sure you don't I do now? Are you sure I did it from San Diego to New York. It's like not a lot of money. It was a good amount of money, but it wasn't like Delta. Delta One is like $4,000. Was there food trash though?

Unbelievable. Really? Dude, best French toast I've ever had in my entire life. No. Not even, and not even exaggerating. No, that can't be true. To die for. No.

If I could go, if I could like Uber Eats from LaGuardia and like have them bring me some of that French toast every morning, I would. They should open up a ghost kitchen of the Polaris. It was unbelievable. Sounds like you should get the United Mileage plus Explorers card. The Sapphire Chase?

That's not what I said. The United Miles plus explorer card. I'll have to look into it. But yeah, I don't know. I'm not fully doubting Delta yet. I haven't had any long flights with Delta in recent memory. But I mean, I'm not. I just don't know.

I had a confusing Delta experience. They boarded from the middle of the plane. So when you're de-boarding, the Comfort Plus gets off before the first class. Well, that's weird. That's not right. I don't think that's right. Hey, that's just disrespect.

That's not what you pay for. What am I paying for? Seriously. I will say, me and Fites flew home from Chicago. I must've flown to Chicago on American. We flew home and we were in the Delta Lounge. The Chicago Delta Lounge doesn't get much better than that. That's a very nice one.

That's a very nice lounge. The desserts alone. That is a nice one. Their desserts, they got hot dogs. They had Chicago style hot dogs. It's just peaceful in there. It's peaceful. It's peaceful.

The bar, we were at that bar. Spacious. We also boarded through the lounge. That's peaceful. The bar, we were at that bar. Spacious. We also boarded through the lounge. That's what you can do at the- Very classy. Very classy. At the- You showed me that.

Where did we just go? Yes, Chicago. Oh, that was in Chicago. That was the back team when they're talking about- Skip the line. Skip the line. It's incredible. You hit the weed pen on the fucking gangway.

People are looking at you like, how did he get in? Through the lounge. Oh, I got in through the lounge. They always have the beer cheese. They have like a Bavarian pretzel beer cheese combination. Two soups. Yeah. Boston.

I did Boston today, the lounge. The worst. A disgrace. The worst. The upstairs lounge. Shut it down. Shut it down. Don't offer food if those are going to be the food options.

I went to the Delta Lounge in Honolulu. It was the worst I've ever seen. Really? Yeah. I mean, it was an actual joke. There were no windows. It was inside the terminal and there were no windows to the outside world. I want to say that's what the Boston one is like too.

No, Boston is like you're on the second floor and so there's not direct windows. It looks out to the concourse but there's windows beyond that. So there is natural light. The worst one I've ever been to was probably the Detroit one. But there's multiple so I probably just went to the wrong one. You know how they have like the A1 and the B1? I think I went to the B1 and it was just like empty. They put us in a nasty lounge in Charles de Gaulle. Fucking damn near ruined my day. I'm I gotta get back to Iceland Did you know you do not go to the Air France Lounge? I went to the Air France Lounge leaving New York

But I didn't go to the I went flew Delta on the way back and the lounge was I booked a Delta flight But it was on the way home. It was via Air France because that's a partner of their French is a sublime Adams croque-monsieur's the Air France Lounge sublime lounge. Croque madame, croque monsieur. The Air France lounge at CDG was... They had like six or seven different bottles of wine that were like $100 bottles of wine plus. Have you guys been to the Iceland lounge? I didn't hit the lounge in Iceland. Because supposedly that's the best lounge there is. I did buy a sweater at the airport in Iceland.

Close. Dude, they have like a fireplace with like real wood. Very funny, as you would say. Very funny. They have like a fireplace with like real wood burning. That's cool. It's like a ski lodge. The one in Haneda, the Tokyo one is nice too. I gotta go to Iceland just to get back to that lounge should we go to all together? Sass Iceland, Japan maybe stop in Iceland on the way to Japan resutsu. What do you think resutsu?

I'm looking up the lounge just to get a glimpse line to Sapporo. Oh What could go for some support right now a saga lounge? Yeah Okay, that's it good episode See you guys on later this week I could go for some Sapporo right now. The Saga Lounge. Yeah. Okay. That's it. Good episode. See you guys on later this week. See you guys on Thursday. Close was over, still, still underground.

So I looked older, till you came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting I was only falling my way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way See it just a distant light

Feeling fast forever bright Call it just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You're right Did you realize No one could take me alive