Son of a Boy Dad - Molly Blues Be Gone | Son of a Boy Dad #224

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

Molly Blues Be Gone | Son of a Boy Dad #224 -- Ad: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/BOY. -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. All right, ready? Yeah, just about. Yeah, pretty much. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is Monday, August 12th, and we are here live from Barstool HQ3 back in studio. Sass is sick with a touch of jaundice about him. It's giving him a lovely Homer Simpson glow, which I think is very becoming of you. I'm like that level of sick where you just pop like five Tylenols. Cause I was like, I'm definitely not missing the podcast.

Last thing I need is more theater talk. So I powered through, I took a bunch of Tylenol, but I'm at that level of sick where like this shit's going to wear off any second and I'm just going to crash and burn. Let's get into fishing while we still have you. I got it in my stomach. Very unsettling. I'm confused by what you said before we started. You said that you woke up and you had a fever of 120. Yes.

Record breaking numbers. And then you said that the AC wasn't working. No, the AC was working. Oh, It was working too well to the point that it infected me with some sort of sickness. So then you turned the AC off and you, it fixed it? I turned off the AC and I woke up and I felt a little better.

And my throat didn't hurt as much, but then I think that I was just placebo because then I got out of bed and my entire body was aching. Well, I think I'm getting it just from looking at you. I think it's seeping in through my eyeballs. I was like, I was like, I'm going to go get a coffee, you know, stretch the legs. Maybe that'll help. Maybe I'm just like stiff. Dude, I'm going to go get a coffee, stretch the legs. Maybe that'll help. Maybe I'm just like stiff. Dude, I stepped outside.

I was on my hands and knees crawling to the coffee shop. In so much discomfort. Just a mirage of a coffee shop like you're in the desert. Licking the fucking pavement. Disgusting. But show the people without the shadow of your hat, show them your skin. Your skin literally looks the best your skin has ever looked. Doesn't it have like a smoothness to it doesn't have this like olive smooth

Was watching that LeBron video where he takes the mask Yeah, the guys mask is knocked off have you been getting those tweets from that thread that's like funniest LeBron moments I haven't been seen it. That's just my whole timeline and every single one of them is so fucking funny. My whole time. Go ahead, go ahead. What do you think like other star players think of LeBron? Do they think they like him and respect him or do they think they don't?

Yeah. He's the goat. I think, yeah. I'd rather hear Rohn's answer. Well, I guess Rohn would know, yeah. Some do and I think some don't. Yeah, because they're jealous. I think, yeah, some Ron would know, yeah. Some do, and I think some don't. Yeah, because they're jealous. I think, yeah, some, but yeah, yeah, fair enough.

I think he gets away with other shit that people couldn't necessarily do. OK, putting all that aside, as a fixture on the USA Men's basketball team, in that locker room, is he well-received? Yes, he's got to be well-received. But I also think that he's always the one being like, all right, huddle up, fellas, and trying to break it down. And I also think that he's always the one being like, all right, huddle up, fellas. And trying to break it down.

And I think they're all superstars. So there's probably a couple that roll their eyes a little bit. I've seen some videos of Kevin Durant and Joel and B being like, all right, here we go again with him just being like, OK, let's fucking go. Fucking, it's because they don't love ball as much as he does. Or they don't love LeBron as much as he does.

Do you know what's always been interesting about LeBron is that no matter what, through all his faults, he's never been a ball hog. And I think that playing with him on a team like that, that is a thing that really could make him annoying to play with and he's not. Right, he's a good distributor. He's such a facilitator, yeah.

Yeah, he's a connective passer as well as an assist machine. His passing is amazing. Amazing, but not just his passing, connective passing. His connective passing is beautiful. connective passes connective passing is beautiful You know who's connective passing is beautiful. It's fucking will go Gillies. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, Gillie. I always fuck up. I always say Willie and Gallo for some reason as your racist as I'm racist That's why yeah a touch of racism in there Willie and Gallo He does that all the time.

I've seen, there has to be like a highlight clip. Have you ever seen him do this move? He like bounces the ball in front of him and does like, and like Mr. Miyagi's in front of it and then touch passes it to somebody. It's one of the coolest things I've ever seen. He does it all the time. It's like one of his, and he's like 48.

Yeah, he could play. He could have played on the Olympic team. He could have played in the league. Yeah, he would have been he probably would have gotten more time than Jason Tatum He could have played in the like Puerto Rican Olympic team and what I got like serious. Oh, yeah, absolutely He's not recon but now he could have played on the Ethiopian team. Yeah, wherever he's from every tree and team. I was talking to someone recently and they said something incredibly I don't know if it's racist. Oh, let do tell. They were talking about the Olympics and they were like, don't you feel like it

doesn't really like, it's kind of unfair that because the U S is such a big country that we have all these people who like, aren't really American, but they it was like, he was like, like their ancestors are from like Africa and stuff like that. And I was like, so you want a race war. That's what you're looking for. You don't want the Olympics. Yeah, you don't want it.

You want people put into where their ancestors are based. But that's a fallacy too, because then we'd all be playing for fucking England or Romania or whatever the fuck everybody's from. Wherever all the US citizens are actually from ethnically, then we just have a bunch of Native Americans. That's why they need La Crosse. They would fucking clean up.

Yeah, if they had been unchecked, if they were left to their own devices and just had learned sport on their own. I've seen nasty racism about India, these Olympics. Yeah. People have been very racist towards the Indians. Yeah, what the hell? It's disrespectful. India, these Olympics. Yeah. People have been very racist towards the Indians. Yeah, what the hell?

It's disrespectful. India, the country, not the Native Americans. No, we never, I don't ever use that to talk about them anymore. No. Howard Jinn said that you're supposed to call them American Indians. I say first peoples.

Yeah. Yeah. I looked that up, that's what they want. I thought it was indigenous. No, don't you dare. Is indigenous people bad? They're not. I call them indigenous Indians. We should do actually a land acknowledgement.

I actually think it is first peoples. I was kind of kidding, but not kidding. I think first peoples, I looked up what is the proper way to refer to, as we know, Indians, and I think it's first peoples. Yeah. I mean, their numbers are dwindling, so we need to get them to represent themselves now. Is there something about them being called Indians because Columbus thought he had landed in India?

Exactly. Is that why? Yes. He thought he was going to go around the world and just hit India from the other side, and he didn't realize that there was an America in the middle. The French word for Turkey is dand, D-I-N-D-E. Dand.

And originally it was D apostrophe I-N-D-E, meaning of India. Oh. Because when they saw the turkeys around the Thanksgiving time, I think they thought they were in India. Really? They don't have turkeys over there.

But that's confusing because why would that be in French? I don't know. Because Columbus was Spanish, right? Yeah. I think a lot of people claim Columbus. I've heard the Portuguese have a claim to him, and the Italians claim him as well. You might be right about that.

But I think that he is truly Spanish, because I think it was commissioned by the Spanish king or queen or whatever. The Jews have been trying to claim him for a while. How did they know? Yeah. Yeah. I never understood the whole Jesus being Jewish thing.

I never understood that. Well, it's just factual. Fine. He was Jewish. How come more isn't made of that? I don't know. You know who makes a lot of it? Who? Jews. Yeah, the Jews. You know who makes a lot of it

Who use the other dude? Do they oh, yeah Oh, they claim him like they came him as a prophet how big of it, but this is my question, right? If he was Jewish and I guess he is right then why don't they? Hold him up more because he's not a major Right. Am I wrong? I haven't read the Old Testament or whatever the Torah because he's not a major... Right? Am I wrong? I haven't read the Old Testament or whatever. The Torah? Well, because he's not in the Old Testament, I think. That's what it is. Is that right? Because the Torah is the first five books, and so that's like Moses and fucking Abraham.

So the New Testament is the Jewish book of text, right? Or whatever? Yes. The New Testament is the story of Jesus. It's the New Testament? I get all this stuff confused. I'm sorry. So I think they think of him as a prophet, just like Moses and Abraham. And they're like, the Messiah is still going to come or something like that. So that's my point. If Christianity holds Jesus up as their Messiah and Judaism has him, why wouldn't they be like, well, he's actually our guy and he's our Messiah.

They're like, he's all right. He's not great. Yeah. They're not obsessed with him. They're like, he was fine. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you've got Michael Jordan on your team and you're like, we'll just have him

be a role player. He's no Moses. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Am I crazy? No, no, no. That's a Yeah, I don't know. Am I crazy? No, no, no. That's a weird gap I've never really understood.

I'm sure someone will inform us in the comments. The most enthusiasm I've ever really heard is from Jewish people claiming Jesus is they're like, oh yeah, he was Jewish. Yeah. Maybe they just don't like really respect everything that he was doing. I mean, he was just surrounding himself with whores and fishermen and fucking you know How long did Moses live 500 years or some shit like that? Jesus lived 33 years he died before he ever got a chance. He's like Barry Sanders

You know retired he only died for a couple weeks or a couple days, right? How many how long was Jesus dead for before he rose again three days? Is it three? I'm gonna trust Ron on all of this. I don't know, shit. I thought it was three, but it might've been more. He died on Thursday and popped up on Sunday. Yeah. Right?

Because he didn't want to miss the Sunday Night Ball. Does rolling stone, that term, have something to do with the rock he rolled away from the mouth of the cave? It does. Dude, I have no idea what we're talking about. Because you didn't pay attention to CCD. Because you were back outside smoking the devil's lettuce. CCD at all. You were fucking getting high as hell.

The only memory I have from CCD is I picked my nose one time and it started bleeding and I got to leave the class with a nosebleed and I was pumped. Classic. Yeah. Because everyone always, I remember kids always used to be like, my nose is like, random, like kids with noses would just start squirting blood. I never had that happen to me unless I picked it real aggressively. Yeah, we had it because those furnaces in the schools would just blast the hottest,

driest air in the winter. And your nose would turn to a frigging old wasp. Yeah, that's probably what was happening in your apartment. That's probably what it, I'm going to wake up tomorrow. My face is just going to be covered in blood. It's going to be a stigmata. Yeah, that's probably what was happening in your probably what I'm gonna wake up tomorrow My face is just gonna be covered in blood. It's gonna be a stigmata Yeah, I'm surprised the priest didn't pull you aside be like we need to take care of this We'd ever had we didn't have priests had CCD. It was all just like parent ladies. Yeah, what's CCD? I'm sorry like Catholic Church school. Oh

That's what it stands for on Sundays you went No, it would be like Monday. It's like for public school kids to learn about our Lord and Savior. Was that a joke or like actually? No, it would really be it would be like on like a Tuesday or some shit. Oh, so it was like your Hebrew school? Yeah, you would just go once a week. It wasn't Sunday school for slightly older kids.

It was like the exact same thing as Sunday school, but it was not on Sundays for some reason. I think there was like multiple different sign up times. I think there was one on Sundays, but I would go to like the Monday one. What percentage of shit that you learned in school do you guys think you retained? Not a lot, but sometimes I'll read something and I'll be like, oh, I remember that. That's the maximum. Like I need to be- Like that grand theorem? oh, I remember that. Like that's the maximum.

Like I need to be reminded of all of it. I think it's gotta be less than 10%. It's not much. I mean, if you look at it, all of high school was just one long cram session. Yeah. It was nothing that was gonna stick super hard. I remember, I don't know.

Language? I'm sorry? Super hard. I remember I Don't know Language I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, I realize I didn't want to talk anymore. Why I don't know No, I didn't realize I was not gonna say something interesting So stopped math. I feel like I've retained a lot of math Like anytime people post like a problem and they're like solve this I always get You get it, but they're those problems are always easy as fuck. Yeah, but for some reason some people can't long division I think I could I think if I got a little catch-up I could I could be back in the groove quick you'd have that what gets hard is when you get into

Algebra 1 yes simplifying equations like binomials, that kind of stuff. The only reason I know that is because I had to go back and tutor it. So I had to relearn it, and then I tutored it year after year. So now I do have it locked, but only because I had years of redoing the same shit over and over.

It's crazy how much teachers are just staying a lesson ahead. Exactly. And I used to think, man, I could never teach. That's crazy. How do you retain all that knowledge? And then what you realize is that they've just been doing the same material for 20, 30 years and that it's not that hard. They can kind of go on autopilot. The first year, they're probably sweating, like fucking trying to study up the night before the lesson. And then by year two, they're like, I know all of this.

Because you just have to know who two presidents are, a couple of math problems, and then by year two they're like I know all of this because you just have to know like who like two presidents Are like a couple math problems, and then you're just horny for the rest of your time. Yeah, it probably gets so boring Did they're like that scene in Good Will Hunting where he's like do you have any idea fucking easy? This is for me It's a fucking joke. I'm sorry you can't do it Teaching fucking multiplication for the 30th year in a row. It's right, trust me. Doing that to a little kid is hilarious. You have no idea how fucking easy this is.

That's probably why they're so bored. That's probably why they start lusting after the children. Yeah, that's where they start. They're like, I've got to find some way to pass the time. Marcus looks amazing today. Marcus looks so fucking good today. That and just being hung over. Their pros are being hung over. Just hung over every single day. Do you think that the teachers dress up more for the kids or for their peers?

Peers. Really? Yeah. I don't know. It's got to be just an absolute fuckfest, dude. At every single school. When you get dressed in the morning as a teacher, are you thinking about, because most of,

there are a lot of schools I would think where there isn't some hot teacher, do you think? No, I think every school has one. There's always a hot teacher? Every school has one. Well, because it's like, it's almost like there's a 10% rule, it's like you're, no matter what, it's recalibrated to someone is the hottest.

Right. It's like jail hot. The hot teachers are early childhood teachers. That's where the hot women teachers are Well, they're all like 19. Yeah Like fresh out of school, I guess 20 to 20 lowest barrier to entry The Hawk to girl. Yeah, it's literally all college students. There was a rumor that she was a teacher But then she's like now I was too I'm too young to be a teacher I work in a nail factory yeah fuck the fuck is a nail fact exactly nails like hammer yes she worked in a nail just pouring the molds all day she's like a dirty

jobs worker she's like working on how it's made I didn't even know they had that in America she works in a fucking nail of male fucking boiling steel she's working on nails one by one into molds all day wearing one of those helmets with the tiny slit people didn't know she was a blue-collar welder yeah damn like Union 69 fucking that's pretty people turned on her pretty quickly when they really I heard she got signed by UTA yeah Yeah. I'm serious. I think she actually... We can't say anything about her then.

She's one of our coworkers. Yeah, people did. Well, I mean... Would you be mad if you found out that Mike signed the Hawk to a girl? No. No? No. And he started like he was like, he started booking her at the same clubs that we're doing?

If she started doing better than me, I'd be like, I need to quit and go work in nails in the nail factory. Just getting my nails done. And it's factory work. That's pretty interesting. It is very interesting. I couldn't fucking believe it. Good for her though.

Yeah. Good on that fucking. We need more blue collar women. Speaking of factories, you know what I'm on the fucking- We need more blue collar women. Right. Speaking of factories, you know what I'm on the hunt for right now guys? Come again. Light fixtures. Have I talked about this before?

No. I don't even know what that is. I gotta buy some lights, man. What's a light fixture? No. Well, not those because those are for entertainment or whatever. They'll bang you for a light fixture. That shit's expensive, huh?

They sure will. They sure will. And there's no limit. Yeah? Because they can become works of art. You know, people, you got these like incredible Danish glass blowing experts that create works of art light fixtures. It's just lights?

Yeah. It's a... We can get you some lights. Let's do an Instagram ad. Last year? No, I have right now this place I have, I've got just bare bulbs that are placeholders. Oh, and some lamps.

And it looks pretty garish. It's very interrogative. Yeah. Let's get you some lamps. We need to get this guy some lamps. Yeah. Let's get him some lamps. I got a great lamp.

I need lamps. I need ceiling pendants. I need chandeliers. Chandeliers. You know what happened to me recently was my ceiling lamp. The one, two of the bulbs are out, so it's just one bulb now. And I bought light bulbs and I replaced all the light bulbs

in my bathroom and my lamp and all that jazz and then I was like, I'm gonna replace the one up there. So I stood up on top of my ottoman and I could reach it well. And I went to unscrew the ceiling lamp and it had this like weird like grease on it and it made my hand smell awful. What the fuck? I couldn't get it open and there's like there's like liquid in it. Hmm. Is it like I'm glad you told that story because I knew that what I was saying was not good.

Well it was very very odd. I was wondering if maybe you had any tips with that. I know you're a big light guy. You're being a connective passer. You're being hard on yourself. You're connective passing. You're getting us, you know what I mean? Yeah. I feel a little delirious.

I did ecstasy this weekend for the first time. Wow. There you go. OK. There you go. Start with that next time. We've been talking about fucking lamps the last 10 minutes.

We've been talking about life pictures. Maybe we just open with that. I've been talking about life fixtures. Maybe we just open with that. I should have seen because your pupils are- I'm talking about grease on my light bulbs. Your pupils are like tiny as in like you're suffering from a serotonin deficiency. It was, um, it wasn't, it didn't suit me. I didn't like it.

Really? Who doesn't like ecstasy? I thought it was like chemically made to enjoy. I don't think it was Molly. I thought it was like chemically made. I don't think it was Molly I think it was actually ecstasy. I didn't enjoy the sensation of ecstasy It wasn't a ton of it, but it was in one of those chocolates. That's how they gave it to me They're making everything in chocolate. They said it was uh, they said it was uh They said it was

Mostly mushrooms with a touch of ecstasy Was it all it wasn't awesome? It's that sounds awesome. I was fine the night of and taking it and then, and didn't take too much and was fine and happy and all that. Now you're depressed. And then the next day was one of the darkest days

of my life. That whole come down thing, that's no joke, man. When, when, when did you take it? I was so fucking sad and weird and kind of lost and confused and I couldn't get my bearings and things looked weird. And I was just kind of like what I felt very empty. When did you take it? And I'd still that that was so that was Saturday night. And then Sunday was yesterday was

the bad day. And then today's a little bit bad too. It's like, I think that when you take- I'm not feeling great. You saw me stop talking. I never stopped talking. Well, I had a feeling because, well, I didn't have a feeling at all, but I didn't have a feeling that you were coming down from ecstasy, but-

I could tell I smelled it on you. Yeah, but when I called you yesterday, it was quick convo, and I thought we were gonna be going back and forth for like 45 minutes. I was ready to talk shop about comedy. They have it in me. And that makes me sad

because I like to talk shop comedy with you. When you take ecstasy or something like that, you're not just like adding a happiness, you're like borrowing from other happiness that you could have. I think you're right. And I think that you reached a couple days into the future as far as your happiness.

But sometimes it's worth it if you're doing something really fun. What did you do while you were on it? Wasn't really anything special. Did you dance? I wasn't watching Dead Mal 5 or any of those people. I wasn't at some electric daisy carnival zoo festival with lot of blues. Were you outdoors at least?

No, inside. God, that's terrible. Sounds terrible. Were you among at least? No, inside. God! That's terrible. That sounds terrible. Yeah. Were you with, were you among many people? Mm-hmm. That's nice. Not many, not that many, not enough people. Yeah.

And it's just weird. I don't know, I've never done it. I've never done it either. I've never done it. And that'll be the end of that. Yeah, I've heard, I mean that's pretty much what I've heard from everybody is that it's fun and then it, but like the hangover's not worth it. I don't like it.

I don't like the way I feel and I don't, I don't wanna fuck around my brain too much, man. Well, if it makes you feel bad any better, if it makes you feel any better, you'll probably be back to normal within like a year or so. Yeah. Dude, you heard the, that norm bit, I think is one of the best bits.

Oh, the one about the drugs in your spine. He's like, he's like, you know, you can, you can take it. And then years later, 10 years go by 20 years go by and you can have a flashback. Yeah. Again. Well, I took acid and 10 years have gone by 20 years have gone by still nothing. Just another ripoff from the big acid companies. Have you ever heard his bit?

I was listening to his bit today, this morning about, uh, about. Like the news and he's talking about serial killers or about someone goes missing and he's like, and then you know where they are, he's like, and then they found the person where they always find them, a shallow grave. And then he talks about how if he was a murderer, if he was a serial killer. What are those, cheese sandwiches?

Yeah, yeah, the cheese sandwiches. He talks about if murder, if he was a serial killer. What are those, cheese sandwiches? Yeah, yeah, the cheese sandwiches. He talks about if he was a serial killer, he would start digging the grave years before he even found the victim. Yeah. It'd just be spending months. A very deep grave. But the way, my favorite part of that joke

is sort of a throwaway line where he's walking through his process and he gets the woman in the van and then he goes, and then I would do that thing that makes me feel like God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the one that I laughed out loud, right?

It makes me feel like God. Yeah. Fuck, man. I think, Norm, a goat, man, salute, man, and salute an RIP to a legend. Facts. I think that a lot of drugs are better done outside, but I think that if they're putting it in a chocolate bar,

that might speak to the uncleanliness of it. Well, it could be. I don't think that I really registered that this wasn't just the mushroom thing. I think I kind of heard him say that it had some of this, some of the ecstasy, a touch of ecstasy. I didn't it didn't factor Just a little fentanyl in there. Yeah, you're right It's like well, I've never never done that. I've done mushrooms. I should be fine. This is fine Was everybody else okay that did it that you did it with? Yeah, I don't want to give too much That's right. I don't get anywhere in trouble or anything like that, but I... It was Leo, wasn't it? It was fucking DiCaprio again.

That's right. Oh, did you see that video he did with Margot Robbie? That was pretty funny. Yeah. I think she was announcing that she's pregnant and he's in it with her. Plus she was pregnant a while ago. Maybe it's an old video then. Yeah, maybe.

I just saw them there on a swing set. I wouldn't like someone who I had like a romantic scene with announcing their pregnancy, announcing my pregnancy. You know what I mean? I would feel weird if I was Margot Robbie's baby daddy and the guy who she had simulated sex with in the Wolf of Wall Street with this tiny little butt crack. He has like in the Wolf of Wall Street, he has a Yoko Ono size butt crack. It's literally like an inch long. It's like, I really was curious how he pooped out of that coin slot.

His poops must be coming out like a piggy bank. It's like, I really was curious how he pooped out of that coin slot. Yeah. His poops must be coming out like a shoelace. Yeah, he's got a tiny ass. A tiny ass, tiny crack. And she's just got the tiniest little nipples. Oh. I don't seem to remember. Had to, had to just get there.

We're not gonna be friends. We're not gonna be friends. You know, she's only 23 in that movie. She is? Yeah. Had to have to just we're not gonna be friends. We're not gonna be friends She's only 23 in that movie. She is. Yeah what? Yeah Really the actress or the character the actress Wow Hollywood Hollywood will fucking exploit these hoes, but did you come? Oh, yeah Eleven seconds later. The ladies of Hollywood are addicted to the nudity though. Oh yeah.

Sidney Sweeney said she's not. Sidney Sweeney said she's not. She said, we're not leaving. Yeah. She said, I'm never stopping. I will never stop getting ass naked. I guess that's always been that way. Helen Mirren's fucking getting naked like six decades after she started getting naked.

Did she do it again? I think she was, I think she has a older movie scene where she's like in a bathtub or some shit like that. Is it possible to be a super successful actor and not like a comedy actor, like a just a straight up actor and never do a sex scene? Yeah, I think it is. I think maybe it is. Who hasn't?

I feel like everyone has. Portman? No, she definitely has. Probably in closer she did I would think. Dude every movie there's a sex scene. Yeah Every movie there's a sex scene. Every R rated movie there's a sex scene. No, Saving Private Ryan didn't have a sex scene. Either someone's head's getting blown off or someone's getting their head blown off. Was Saving Private Ryan rated R? Wouldn't have been rated R today. PG-13? I mean the guy's stuffing his intestines back into his gut in the first five minutes of the movie. PG-13? Was the Patriot rated R? I wonder. I would think so. Didn't someone's head get blown off in the Patriot

isn't that early on? It's a pretty violent movie. What's the Patriot, is that the Mark Wahlberg? Gibson. Well, wait what's the Mark Wahlberg Boston bombing movie? Plays the swamp fox basically. Patriot's day.

Patriot's day is about, or Patriot day is about the Boston Marathon bombing. Yes, a dark day in our history as New Englanders. It was crazy. I was supposed to fly back into Massachusetts that day. I was in a... Holy shit. Yeah, I was doing hilarities in Cleveland

and I was supposed to fly back into Massachusetts and I couldn't, we had to cancel our flight because Obama was speaking and he was landing in Logan and they canceled all the flights. So you drove to drive back from hilarities? It was you, Bobby, Kelly. It was me, Norton and Kelly and we split up. Got some fucking a bucket of Zaxby's and just drove this the whole way straight. No I was in Florida. I was in Florida with my family

and we were supposed to fly back to Boston that day and we had to change our flight And then my dad accidentally hit my sister in the face while playing we Bowling same day. I remember that very clearly which was a bigger tragedy. He hit my sister hard. It was crazy Yeah, it was an accident came out of nowhere really well, we were locked in was it was bowling I think it was it was some Wii game. It was in the backswing or the front swing? She got clocked. Was he going backwards? I don't remember.

I just remember her getting smacked and then screaming. Video games like Wii or any type of VR really exposed generational gaps. Oh yeah. When people are just throwing a fucking Wii controller into a flat screen or someone's getting terrified at a VR headset thinking that they're about to fall off of a beam.

Yeah, do you ever remember, I remember I would go over to my friends, some of my friends' houses and their parents would make us wear the band with the Wii remote. And I was like, I'm not just gonna let go of this remote and send it through the TV. Like it's pretty easy to hold, it's built to hold onto. I'm not just gonna let go.

That's a Samsung 70 inch flat screen. Yeah. 400K. Wii was sick, I might get a Wii. Wiis are cool. Well why can't, why don't you just get another like VR, like isn't there better VR now? I don't wanna play a fucking video game with a headset on.

Like it's over my eyes. I thought about buying you a present. Yeah? I thought I would get you a really nice gaming chair. Oh. But then I wasn't sure if you sit in a gaming chair. I sit in a chair, but dude, those gaming chairs are, you know how much the nice ones are? How much?

Like five grand. Oh no, I wouldn't get you that one. Yeah. I'd get you one that was smaller. Yeah, I have a good, I got a good chair. If I got you a nice chair, would that be, make you happy? Yeah, it would make me happy. I don't need it though. How good is your chair? Is it a gaming chair?

It's a good chair. It's not a gaming chair though. You've seen it. Have I? It's just my black, my black spinny chair. It's a spinny chair. The one that's for your computer. It's like an office chair.

Yeah, and you use that and look at the TV. No, I look at my monitor. You're playing on your computer monitor? Yeah. Oh, and you've got what controller in your hand? DualSense, PlayStation 5 controller. Okay. Let's maybe we chip in.

I have a deal. I have got a discount. Really? Let's chip in. That I thought, and they didn't have much stuff that I would want. But then I saw that they had really sick gaming chairs. I thought who do I know that needs a gaming chair? Hairball. I'm in a bit of a gift giving era of my life. So I would I'd love to be part of this. When's your birthday?

April. April. As is all of ours. Mine's March. Here's his March late March. End of March. A March. Ares. I think we should chip in and get him a gaming chair. Okay. To be honest, please don't. Let's get him the good one. I know.

12.50 each. We can sort the results by most expensive deletion. If you tell me the website, I bet there's other stuff that I could get, like a scuff controller or something like that. Even if they're... But a gaming chair, then I just have to get rid of my chair, because I don't have space in my apartment for two chairs. Yeah, that half flight of stairs is a fucking killer to get rid of. I don't want to get rid of the chair, it's a good chair.

Even if the most expensive option has a lower customer rating than the second most expensive, I still think we should get him the most expensive. And leave the price tag. So that he knows that we paid as much as we possibly could. Let's leave the price tag on, but just draw one single line through it as if we're trying to cross it out, trying to obfuscate it,

but in reality, we want him to know. We could even outline it or like engrave it harder with a pencil so that he can feel with his finger like a blind person through the Sharpie that's obfuscating. Yes. All right. Hey, don't worry about it. But let's just say don't buy any chairs in the next six months.

All right, brother? Wow. Long time till April. Yeah, but his half birthday is in October, which is almost now. Yeah, true. Speaking of dude, I just saw like I've seen like 12 different Halloween ads or- What, really? I went to a goddamn,

I went to a store that was selling Halloween decorations and it wasn't even like a Halloween-y store. It's the first third of August. What the fuck are we doing? I think I'm gonna go all out this year with decorations because I have that big window that looks out to the street. I think I wanna set up something that's like someone hanging from the rafters, like some real spook- window that looks out to the street. They're gonna set up something. That's like Someone hanging from the rafters like some real dead body in the chair. Yeah, some real spooky shit. That's cool

Yeah, I'm never gonna do that, but it would be sick What if we what if we throw in some money and we get him like some really cool creepy like a crypt or something? That opens up when people walk by Motion activated or something skeleton crawls. in or something like that. Music plays. I want my shit to look so real that the police come. There could be something that says something, it recites something. If you just clap it, it constantly restarts. And we could go stand outside of his window and make it happen all night.

Yeah, clap all night and just scare the shit out of him. And maybe like an arm hanging out the window or something. You know how people do in their trunk around Halloween? Yeah. They have like a single hand. I love those. Love those. I like those, and I like the garage door ones.

You ever see the ones where it's like the body that's like crushed by the garage door? Those are always fun. Or like there's a body dang, a suicided body hanging from the garage. Nothing screams Halloween like some fake hanging bodies. I got to tell you, hanging bodies is bodies is... I remember the sixth sense. That's as creepy as it gets.

When they pan to that and he sees the bodies that are hanging, that was one of those images as a child that was never tattooed into my brain. Yeah, that was pretty bad. And then the movie The Gallows freaked me out too. I can't believe that many people are... That was pretty bad and then the movie The Gallows freaked me out too. I can't believe that many people are- It's probably where there's a school play and the kid accidentally hangs himself. Oh. The prop hanging doesn't work.

Spoiler bro. It's a terrible movie and it came out like 15 years ago. It's a fucking brutal spoiler. I guess I'm not going to see The Gallows now. I asked so much for The Gallows, had that downloaded for my flight to Cleveland. I can't believe that The gallows is about hanging. Speaking of Cleveland, we're going to be in Cleveland hairballing me this weekend, Thursday through Saturday at Hilarity's five shows.

Please come out and let us know if there's anything fun to do in your town. Tickets at LilSasquatchWebsite.com. We're thinking about going out to see the Shawshank prison. He mentioned this. I thought it was in New York. Am I dumb? It's 60 miles away from Cleveland. The fuck is wrong with me?

I thought it was in Maine. There's something, maybe they shot it in Maine. I don't know, some dude told me about it after the Cincinnati show and he was pretty drunk so it could have been. Or maybe he gets arrested in Maine and like allegedly kills his wife. I think he does get arrested in Maine.

Yeah. The one syllable state. Is it the only one? That I know of. Yeah. Yeah. Rack your brains, brothers. Mm-hmm.

What's the longest, what's the longest state name? Tell us in the comments, sound off in the comments. Come to these guys' show in Cleveland. Pop punk in Philadelphia. Ooh home home home game home court We're doing Wells Fargo. We're doing Wells. We're doing yeah, we're doing Wells Fargo. It's gonna be sick Oh, we're on we're trying to figure out how to do it in the round Cuz yeah, we want to be able to give everybody the same amount of show So we're doing spinning stage as of now sick. Yeah, it's gonna be electric. I'm gonna go see I don't know if I talked about the last

podcast but I'm gonna go see Sebastian Menescalco in MSG. You did mention during your read for game time. Yeah we're going to game time dude you get floor seats for not that bad. That's sick. Is Sebastian not selling well or what? He's doing five shows at MSG. So It's fucking insane fucking Tony Tony just did it yeah, Tony did too he's bringing he brought back Austin I was bringing back New York. I know salute to the goat So Tony and he goes I saw Tony the stand and I don't know him that well and he came up He goes dude. I loved your traffic video That's nice. Really? I was like, does he have a guy like in Veep who comes up behind him before comedians

that he doesn't know and tells him what to say? Cause I just, why would I have been in his, you know, yeah, Casey rocket whispers in his ear, traffic, Tesla, Tesla traffic, game of throne today, if that doesn't register. Ribs, he's ribs, ribs in the office. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Damn. I like your ribs traffic. Yeah. Fuck. I've never seen someone eat ribs shaped like a Tesla. He turns around and fucking slaps the shit out of Casey

Rockett. You got it fucking wrong. That's amazing. Yeah, it sounded like the whole scene was a buzz this weekend. It was good. What? You were around this weekend. Uh, I was.

You hit us up to hang out and I was like, yeah, what's good? And then you said you're going to a burlesque show at midnight. Yeah. Where'd you go, the box? I didn't. I wound up not going to the box. What's in the box? Very good. Did you go, the box? I didn't. I wound up not going to the box. What's in the box? Very good. Did you go to... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, we're getting our happiness back.

I can feel it starting my toes. You really have to. Starting my toes. Jog it back. There's a long way to go to warm my organs and my heart, boy oh boy. You're going to have to check Francis in somewhere. There's hope. There is hope yet.

We need a straight jacket. More jokes like that, more laughs. I'm going to be right back where I need to be. Yes, exactly. Bit by bit, just literally. Inch by inch, row by row, gonna make this garden grow. That's right. Did you guys ever listen to Peter, Paul, and Mary

in the car on the way? Of course. No. Of course. You don't know Peter, Paul, and Mary? Peter, Paul, and Mommy for the kids too. Oh, very nice. But I don't wanna talk about any music around

your fucking early ass. No, golly, no. But I do have a plane fact for you guys Drop it lay it down It's more of a trivia question. When do you guys think the last fatal plane crash in the United States was? Oh, wow, I think there's been a couple so commercial Commercial well 9-eleven obviously happened and then a couple years later a plane crashed in Brooklyn that was the same year that was the same year and then a couple years later a plane crashed in Brooklyn. That was the same year. That was the same year and then there was when did the planes crash on the runway that was the worst plane crash ever recorded. What? Yeah.

Two? Two massive planes crashed on the runway. Wasn't there one that landed at San Francisco from China that a couple people in the back of the plane died? That's not the one I'm talking about. There was one in some passenger commercial plane. Okay. So commercial. Cause now I'm thinking, I know there's a bunch that have crashed in weird places, but commercial.

So that's just doing that thing where he just shows how many he knows without just giving it. It's definitely not flight 642 out of Malaysia. I've heard of this. He's just using, instead of just guessing a date, he's using it as a chance to flex his plane. How much time he spent on R slash aviation. Of course, three years later,

Kiwi Airways out of New Zealand. Which one was it? It was in 2009 in Buffalo. And a plane crashed into a house and 80 people died. In the house. Right? Yeah, there was 80 people there. OK, I was literally just about to say that,

but I didn't think that was a commercial flight. Yeah, I was about to say that. It crashed into a house. I hate when people do that. Scholars debate about whether that was a commercial flight or not. A lot of those people, half charter, half commercial. Was that in Clarence?

It was in Buffalo This guy's a gangster is real names Clarence white nice really good. Thanks Consciousness just riffing riffing sass To look it up keep it up the point being that we have gone 15 years, Touchwood. Yeah, Touchwood. Without a commercial plane crash,

which is like, we're down to, we've grinded it down to zero commercial plane crashes. But hold on a second. Fatal, you said. Oh, only 45 people died. Cause Sully, Sully happened. There are... Only 45. There are others that may have happened that other...

There might have been crashes that didn't have anyone killed. Maybe. So maybe we're talking fatalities, but we have gotten the fatalities down to zero. Isn't that interesting? I was right. That has to be a reflection of improved safety measures and potentially better plane manufacturing practices. And yet the rise of Boeing's woes has us all believing that planes are less safe now than they've ever been. When they're more safe.

Based on your statistics, it would seem that way. Commercial or national flights in the United States, 15 years since anything's happened. national flights in the United States 15 years since anything's happened. They also said that within 10 years that there's a good chance that we will be able to have individually manned flights to like the airport from like a helipad in Midtown Manhattan. Like you get to JFK in seven minutes that there will be like series of these flights. What do you mean, helicopters? Not helicopters. How? Like jet packs?

Like close to drones, but like flying cars type of vibe. In 10 years. Within 10 years. Okay, you're out of your fucking mind. I'm not the one saying this. Okay, who's saying it? The people. That's never gonna happen.

I mean, put your head in the fucking sand. There's gonna be individual planes that are gonna take you from Manhattan to JFK. No, not planes. He said drones. Drones. Flying car type of things. That's never gonna happen. And keep your head in the sand.

Dude, you're out of your fucking mind if you think that's gonna be a thing. I'm not the one saying it. You're gonna strap into like a drone pod and fly to JFK. That you'll be able to, it'll be like ride share. And they said that they're gonna get the price down to like $3, their goal is to get it down to like $3 a mile. Same as a ride share.

SAS, people said driverless cars were never gonna be a thing and now look at us. And they really aren't. I see them everywhere. Teslas? Aren't there like driverless Chick-fil-a delivery cars? Those are robots. I see.

What's a fucking drone then? Driverless cars are parked all throughout my neighborhood. There will be people on the ground controlling them. This will be in 10. I will give you all of the money in my bank account. I don't want five dollars if within if within ten years people are taking drones to JFK from Manhattan I said that's somebody's goal that they're gonna black out the sky like the arrows in 300 that is just gonna be a constant buzz in

the neighborhood what are they gonna do in one of those things crashes? Well, they used to have helipads all over the the city and in 1977 there was a helicopter It wasn't even a crash, but the rotor flew off and killed Four people waiting to board and then another person on the ground. So they completely stopped helicopter like the Easy helicopter flights within the city rotor Rotor, I hardly knew her. And that's why Francis is a fucking goat. Goatty is fucking special. When's it coming out?

Yeah, when is that shit coming out? I don't know. Let's put it out. I don't know. We need to get these numbers up on the pod. Let's get these, let's juice them. We're kind of hoping that does something. Yeah, let's juice them.

Let's juice the numbies. I don't tell Seth. Instead of getting him a chair, let's spend the fucking $4,000 on... Click farms. Click farms. My don't tell set is coming out August 28th, Wednesday. Alien click farms.

We were going to buy you a chair as a gift for your don't tell set, but we've decided to spend it instead. We're going to get you an alien click farm. You know what really sucks? I was going to go out to... Rows of Pakistani children. I was going to go out to Central PA that week and camp by myself and go fishing but Now I'm gonna I can't not have service when my hotel comes out. Just give me your password. I got you

I wonder if that's the week I'll be in Central PA. No, you will be in Morocco He's going to Morocco, I thought maybe that was the week I would be in Central Pennsylvania. Are you going to Casablanca or Marrakesh? Marrakesh, and I might go to Essaouira or Taghazout. Wow. Do some surfing What do you know how to surf? He's got the hair for it. Yeah, you could definitely do it. Yeah, I've been growing my hair for this trip Yeah, no way. I thought this trip was a new thing It's brand new. Yeah, you know about it sick until yesterday

That's gonna be fucking incredible. I have I have to do a little soul-searching right now You should take some ecstasy while you're out there won't do that your hands chopped off I got fucking Aladdin my roommate in college was addicted to ecstasy. Really? Yeah, that's sad He took it every day for? Yeah. That's sad. He took it every day for three months. That can't be right. Yeah. And then he had to stop taking it because he got arrested.

He told me that one day when we were out at the dining hall. He was like, I never told you about this? And I was like, no. He said he got put in a full on sting. He walked into the UPS and there was like 10 cops in there with like ARs and they tackled him to the ground How the fuck was he getting that much ecstasy? He was getting in on the black market. I think damn Silk Road. Yeah What a pretty say what did he get arrested for just buying it? He was selling it to That's probably why you got caught with like 2,000 pills of ecstasy. So a big felony

Yeah, damn and you got to believe that his dealer is pissed that they never got paid well. I think you probably got paid beforehand No harm no foul. Oh, you just paid for the 2,000 pills yeah, I'm sure lost a ton of money Oh, yeah, do you guys ever watch the shows where good? Yeah Incredible don't sound like it, and I think it's gonna be a long long time. Alrighty let's talk about game time. Game time. You know that Missy Elliott is in New York tonight. I didn't even know Missy Elliott was alive. Automatic supersonic. Did you know that you can get tickets to Sebastian Sebastian Maniscalco right now get your freak on and see Sebastian Maniscalco Aren't you embarrassed? Who is that?

Can you see the near? Oh, look at this look at this floor seats for $200. Let me see hold up the app Wow What I can go see 30 seconds to Mars on Saturday who is led by Jared Leto What a reticence multi talented people. I mean talk about it 30 seconds to Mars on Saturday, who is led by Jared Leto. One of the most multi-talented people. I mean, talk about it. He could just kind of coast on his looks. Unbelievable. And then he not only acts, but he sings. Triple threat.

I'd love to see him dance a little bit. Should I splurge and do $1,000 seats front row at Sebastian at MSG and get crowd worked. I don't think he does crowd work. That would be so sick. Yeah. Is he filming? I don't think so. Okay. So then you definitely should. That would be so sick. Guys with the game time app. Did you know you can get tickets to all these events? Missy, Elliot, Sebastian, Man of South, Scalco, 30 seconds to Mars for only,

well, I don't remember what my price was. My price was 216. Ooh, 30 seconds to Mars starts at $6? You gotta be joking me. That's nothing. With Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, you shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event.

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No, they do. Get back to the show, though. All right, let's talk about rocket money. I actually use rocket money. I like to use it to keep track of all my money and see where it is and how little I have. Well, because sometimes you'll be paying twice for something. You'll pay twice for like Amazon or some kind of Apple, something like that. And they can consolidate that. Oh, especially with football season coming up. See, I'm going to go a little bit off

script here. I'm gonna talk about this. Ball? Rocket money is great for this. Football season comes up. I think I'm paying for NFL plus like 17 different times. Same, same, same, same. Every single year I go to get it

and then they're like, you don't have it. And I'm like, well, I'm pretty sure I have it, but I guess I'll just get it again. Yeah, new password. I'll even make a new email account in order to sign up for an additional account. I have NFL plus, like NFL Premium, NFL Red Zone, which I think you get all of those with NFL Plus.

Yeah, you're going to want to package on that. And I have Sunday Ticket and I have Fubo. And YouTube. Yes. Fubo? Yes. For us, by others? Yes.

So, Rocket Money helps you keep track of all of that. This is a phenomenal ad read. I'm doing a great job. Well, it's just the facts So Rocket Money helps you keep track of all of that. This is a phenomenal ad read. I'm doing an ad read job. Well, it's just the facts about Rocket Money. It's one of the truest things that I've ever heard. Yes. And Rocket Money can help you say, okay, you definitely don't need Sunday ticket, end NFL premium and NFL plus. Well, read how much money they've saved people. It's 500 million in canceled subscriptions. 500 million is crazy. And that's per person. I could use 500 million. No, that's's per person. I could use 500 million. No, that's not per person. Rocket Money.

But how much per person? Because they save, how much they save people on average. Saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps' features. That's crazy too. I could use that. Let's get him a tent with that money. And you could buy a damn good tent with $740. Probably that and a gaming chair, for honest. Yeah, probably. Rocket Money... $740. Probably that and a gaming chair. Yeah. For honest. Probably. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. That's right. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money comm slash boy. They get it They're rocket money comm slash boy rocket money comm slash boy Do you guys ever watch the shows in the airport where they are like finding drug mules they're like finding El Salvadorian women or like women from the Ukraine who are bringing drugs over the border. They're so fun to watch.

They just like interrogate these women who obviously have so much drugs on them. They're like, why are you bringing 15 stuffed animals back? What could you possibly want with like 3000 cans of beans? Did you know that condoms are statistically used more to encapsulate drugs, which are then boofed through vaginal canals across borders more so than sex? That's what condoms, number one use is. I have heard this. Really? Yeah.

Did you know that? That's pretty interesting. I've heard people aren't fucking with condoms anymore. They're just using them for boofing. That's crazy. And sometimes people will tie the condom off and swallow it. Yeah. Yeah, and then they shit it out Yeah, but if it explodes in your stomach you die trouble immediately They made that statistic up that was yeah, that's Understandable next time you guys are in the Delta flight. There's a movie called EO Capitano. Hmm. I'm familiar I oh Capitano hmm I'm familiar I oh cap time

you watch it now they're they're basically going from Africa trying to get up to Europe but they go through the desert after they swallowed their money in condoms and they figured out that there's gonna be guys meeting them in debt in the desert that are gonna try and steal their money so they put it inside their bodies and the guys just come with some kind of serum that just makes them shit themselves all over and they just have to squat there and shit and then the guys go through their shit to try and find their money and it's worse for you once they find the money.

Right. Right. It's nasty work. Imagine, imagine like you just have a wad of fucking shit cash. Trying to pay for something. You're going to, you're like check, you're getting a chopped cheese at the deli and you're pulling out a, there's just like shit all over your cash. Trying to pay for something. You're going to your like check, you're getting a chopped cheese at the deli and you're pulling out of where there's just like shit all over your cash. You like digging into like, wait, let me grab my wallet.

And it's inside of you. It's in your asshole. You're going, you're fisting yourself up to your elbow to grab your wallet out of your ass. You don't want to get robbed though. Better than getting robbed. When you go into prison, they make you tuck your balls up, right? Bend down. And cough.

And cough. As though that would somehow dislodge whatever you'd snuck up your butthole? I guess, yeah. I don't know. I don't think that that would be enough to get my stuff loose. No. I mean, your asshole is tight as hell. I just tightened my asshole right there and I coughed and it didn't budge at all. Your asshole is one of the loose like tighten your asshole right now and then Didn't even didn't you flinch? I just shit myself. Yeah Once isn't just splitting out of my bottle a cough

I mean that would just mean like every time you cough, but maybe they you know what it is No, no, no, I have the answer to this. I think a guard looks into your asshole and sees, and maybe that when you cough, it opens just a little such that they would see that something was in there. Like a series of mirrors. That's why I just did that with my asshole sealed shut and it didn't open. It was like the door in Star Wars. You know for sure that it was closed? Yes. Because I tightened it as much as I could. I think we need to take a look at that thing, bro. I think I need to get under the hood. Slide under the hood and check.

See how the sauce is made. Do you think you can feel it when you're walking around and you've just got a big old ball of cocaine in your butt? I wonder if it feels different than Dookie. Yeah. I wonder if it feels different than just a turd dangling in there. It's got to. It's got to.

I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. I'm an ecstasy guy. Ecstasy is a must for outside. I took, or when EDM, or when Dubstep got popular in like 2011. Yeah, I remember. You remember it like it was yesterday. I remember it like I do because all my friends like Dubstep and I didn't know., I thought dubstep police I've told the story before but I thought dubstep was an artist

Yes, and I download an album on Apple on iTunes. That was just called dubstep. I Love there. I love their new work. I was like dude. This guy's stuff is great So bad is so much music. Yeah, I spent like it was like it was like one of those albums That's like four dollars and there's like 700 songs on it. Wow. He's so prolific. Yeah, he spent like it was like it was like one of those albums. That's like four dollars, and there's like 700 songs on it Wow, he's so prolific. Yeah, he's a man of the people. He doesn't even need the money I think we went to somebody's house and like three of us took Molly on like a Tuesday night Yeah, just like sat in the basement. It sucked so bad. Yeah, it sounds awful I've always had right before the drop there'd be some kids screaming something. Help, they're coming over the walls!

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh my god! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, that shit was awesome. It was such a fleeting thing. Making a dubstep song would be so easy. Yeah. I made one a while ago, and I used Logix.

I used Logix. Who can relate and then Yeah, I did for a tweet I did it for I did it for like a video that I was doing took me like 30 seconds All I did was I looked up dubstep build up Downloaded it and then I looked up dubstep bass drop and then right I put those in a in a in like audition And then I put the logic in a in a in like audition and then I put the logic yelling who can relate in between it was pretty sick that is really funny it was actually a I could probably find it right now find it

have you ever seen the videos of the people at like the front row of a dubstep concert or whatever and they're just hanging on to the oh yeah and they're banging all together just banging it would also be kind of euphoric if you were all together in sync like that just rocking out But I can't bang my head for five seconds without getting a head so much neck hurt your body I like get disorient Disoriented I'm gonna be able to find this shit easily But why did the British say? Disorientated do they know wouldn't I mean if we're just trying to have the simplest version? Why won't British say disorientated? Do they now? Wouldn't, I mean, if we're just trying to have the simplest version,

why wouldn't you just say disoriented? They have a few things that they do like that, right? All types of shit. They're just trying to add other syllables to sound smart. That's their entire thing. And then they wind up on fucking, uh, love is blind UK, sounding like the dumbest people alive. It's got me kind of disorientated talking through a wall.

Oh, you're right. That is it. I needed to hear it in the accent to hear that I've heard that before. A dude said it to me in a rap battle. He was like, yo, disorientated, distorted and jaded. Disorientated, distorted and jaded. That's a banger of a line. That's a good line.

Did he win? Is it? Did he win? Is it? Yeah. No, it's not. I don't think it is. That's a heater.

You boys don't know nothing about rap. I got a question. If I go to Morocco, where should I go before? I gotta kill a couple of days. Mallorca. Really? Or what's the island off of, aren't the Canary Islands? Isla Canarias, they're right off of Morocco.

Is that right? I heard it's incredible. Okay, I could do that. I was thinking I might go do some surfing. Portugal too, Porto? Yeah, Comporta. That would be incredible. Or Barcelona.

I've never been to Amsterdam. Have you ever been to Amsterdam? I was just talking about going there. Maybe in the same time. What the fuck? I don't know. You're gonna go that week? Come on the weekend.

Come on the weekend. Come on the weekend. I don't know. Come on. I don't know if I can swing it, but that would be fun. Amsterdam? We would have a good time traveling together because we'd like to do the same things eat good mix culture art Gosh, I'd ride a bike maybe go go

Maybe that Anne Frank addicts. Yes. I could smoke a little gonj Yeah, smoke gonj and walk through Anne Frank's house. Yeah, she was living pretty good. Yeah, can you imagine? being like This is fall this is trippy as fuck. She never went outside. She just hid in here for years. She was that mute bitch, right? She was in here for years and didn't say a word. That's fucking crazy. It's crazy that she just crashed over the Pacific and they just never found her. Listen to this John real quick.

You hear it? Why are you stepping on your own joke? That was a great bit, conflating historical female figures. One more time, one more time. Oh, this is your song? Yeah. It's a little bit more joyful than the dubstep I like. I know. I like the dubstep that I enjoy to feel like you're crawling out from a crypt.

Yeah. Like the earth cracked open and there's evil demons seeping from the core. Yeah. Not nearly enough headbanging in that one. I know. Yup. But The Who Can Relate plays hard. Yeah, it does.

But I want dead silence for The Who Can Relate. I know. I fucked it up. I was probably 13 when I made that, so. I thought you said you just made it. No, that was a while ago. Really? I can tell you when. I was in... when I made that, so. I thought you said you just made it. No, that was a while ago. Really? I can tell you when.

I was in... You're beat making. I can't believe you deleted all those beats that you made, too. You know who used to be a great beat maker? Who? Sass. Is that so? Yeah.

That was seven years ago. Who can relate? Seven years ago, seven years from now, we'll probably be almost done with the flying cars that are going to take you to JFK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll be running the prototypes of the drones that are flying individual people. Bro, the prototypes are already being flown.

Yeah? You're asleep. I haven't seen any of them. Yeah, because you can't do it on public land. They're doing it on private land. You can't fly over things. There's things called regulations. I thought an aviation...

You said they wanted them to charge $3 per person?3 a mile so it's like the same as ride share as realistically JFK is what as the crow flies So much closer than you think yeah as the crow flies. Yeah, so it'd be like $12 Well, I said JFK I don't know about Newark but uh... Newark's closer than JFK. I mean if you want to keep your head in the sand... Newark is like two miles from here. If you want to keep your head in the sand? I don't know about that. That's fine with me. Dude Newark is so much closer than JFK. Are you out of your mind? I'm gonna look that one up. They've I mean the the prototypes are already working. No they're not. You're just because you don't know I know and I know they're not. Yeah, you don't know It's fascinating bro. You just have to learn a little bit

You'll once you open up your eyes to the world. You're gonna be a whole new man. Mmm a whole new world No, bro, look at look at this fucking musical, dude. This guy can't go one podcast without singing a show tune. That's a good show tune. If you want to come out the closet, just tell us, bro. We don't mind. I can't change. When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was gay because my uncle was and I like to keep my room straight who can relate Who can relate Newark is 10 miles? 13

New York's 10 JFK 13 That's crazy. I didn't know Newark was 10 miles away from here. I would have said it was probably three Shits close to sell for my apartment takes me like 20 minutes to get there Yeah, but the fucking traffic but that traffic. Takes me like 20 minutes to get there. Yeah. But the fucking traffic. But that traffic. That's why you gotta get in the sky. That's why you need, you do, you do. So it would cost you 30 bucks to get to New York. 39 bucks.

$3 a mile, 10 miles away. 13 miles. No, JFK's 13 miles. You're right. Mishheard. And that's why you're the fucking goat. That's why I am the goat. You do retain some math from school. Yeah. Call back. Call back to I am the goat. You did retain some math from school. Yeah, call back. Call back to earlier in the episode, no big deal.

Let me know if anyone has any good fishing holes that I could hit in Central PA, because I know people are very protective about that, but hopefully for a celebrity like myself, you could just give me some intel. Gatekeeping, the fucking great. People like to gatekeep their spots, but when a big time celebrity like me reaches out and and asks you'd think that people would there's the one by Penn State where the DA like threw a laptop in or some shit

Like that did you get to go fishing there? It's a good really good fishing, but they couldn't find the laptop Why did you know a throw a laptop in there because it's the most corrupt town in America really? I don't know if it was because of the Sandusky shit wasn't the Sandusky shit Do you know the story about the DA throwing a laptop in the fucking river or some someone died in that same river? I don't know. It's a good place to die up there. You gotta get up to Central PA Central PA is supposed to have some of the best fishing in the country And I was thinking about it because you guys are going to Morocco and in Amsterdam So I was trying to think I was like what should I do and I was like, oh, I guess I'll go fishing

But then I was like, well, maybe I should go fishing that I would like to go for at least a night. So I'm gonna go to Central PA, I think. Why don't you go three nights? Cause I have stuff. I have spots. You have illness. I have illness.

You and Tony. Is Tony ill? No, no, spots. Oh yes, yes, yes. Tony the Tiger? Tony Hinchcliffe. Oh yes, yes, yes. Tony the Tiger? Tony Hinchcliffe. Hinchcliffe. But also Tony the Tiger.

They have stripes. Speaking of two dudes who are fucking great. Francis said there was a big party at the stand because of Tony. Big rager. I heard it was a Bacchanal. Yeah. I heard that the wine was flowing like fucking water.

They never have parties from you there? And you came up there. You were literally a penny stock that they bet on. And now you're fucking thriving. Wait, so you were trying to talk about your Don't Tell set, so it's coming out when you're in Pennsylvania? Well, I guess I won't be there then, will I? Because your Don't Tell set's coming out?

Yeah, bro, I gotta run promo. Just get Starlink. I know, sure I should. Just get Starlink and take it out to Pennsylvania so we can watch Don't tell I watch the set It's so good. I gotta watch it so I can read all the nasty comments of people going he sucks. I hate him It's so good like Shane Gillis if he sucked Yeah, that's true

No, it's gonna be incredible. We'll see once red bar gets his hands on it, dude It's gonna be fucking great. I don't think Redbar reviews 10 minute sets. With 10 views. Yeah. No it's gonna be, I think it's, that was my first thought when I watched it. It was like gonna do great things for your ticket sales. Yeah I hope people just like it. I don't really care about the ticket sales. I'd rather people just like it. People are definitely gonna like it. We'll see. It's really funny. You never know. It's really good. I always think people definitely gonna like it. We'll see. It's really funny. You never know. It's really good.

I always think people are gonna like it and then I post it and then they go, you suck. I heard this one already. Yeah, they go, stick to the podcast. This is exactly like Norm's bit. Yeah, this is like Artie Lang's bit from 2004. That he did on like a cell phone camera in front of two people.

They go, oh, you got me, that's where I got it from. Fuck, I thought I was gonna get away with people. Oh, you got me. That's where I got it from. Fuck. I thought I was going to get away with it. I would have got away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids. Yeah, you fucking assholes. Blowing up my whole operation. Don't you think it was good?

Yeah. See? Yeah, we'll see. I've sent it to so many people, and I've asked so many people what they think. It's great. It's really great. And I just wait for someone to be like, yeah, it sucks. Don't put it out. So I can be like, I knew it. I fucking sent it to so many people and I've asked so many people it's great. It's really I just wait for someone to be like

Yeah, it sucks. Don't put it out. So I can be like What was the order The pecking order of people who got sent to I knew if it got sent to me that I was fucking down on the list I knew that Gardini had seen it two weeks before I didn't send it to Gardini and that uh that But when fucking match Got it got it in there. I'm'm a little loopy I took ecstasy I didn't send it to Gardini that's normally something I'm on top of I said it I didn't actually send it to that many people I send it to you guys and I sent it to my friends and I sent it to my

parents my dad said you're a fucking genius and And you wept. Like this is the love I've been looking for daddy. My mom didn't reply. Cause you have jokes at her expense. Yeah, not really. I think it was the weed stuff. You have nastiness about your mom. Oh, the weed stuff? I guess I shouldn't be talking about what it's in it.

The one about... About Bo and Matt? Being with your parents. About your parents. about your parents get stoned as hell Or should I not be saying that about how your parents used to be fucking hippies and my parents have never been hippies ever Before you were born. They were a whole different set of people. I remember because I knew them That's true. You probably did we were all listening to dubstep together taking Molly in the basement Just sitting cross-legged in a white basement as we listened to molly tripped our brains out And then we're like okay time to go home now fellas. I'm gonna be fully honest. I'm I feel awful

That's great though people want to hear that people want the transparency. I'm struggling speaking of Transparency Just kidding brought them, but you know I fucking love your parents. Let me know if anyone has any good spots to fish in central Pennsylvania. Please give them up. I tried to bring up flights dude. I tried to bring up fishing. Oh this has been a great episode. I know. I'm trying to fucking lead you to water.

It's been phenomenal. I'm just struggling. I'm literally trying to lead you to water and phenomenal. I'm just Struggling. I'm literally trying to lead you to water in central, Pennsylvania If anyone knows any light fixture stores or discounts that they can get on light fixtures There's the one yeah in I got some red lights in Amsterdam apparatus. Oh The one that is yeah, I know you know expensive that one. Yeah some red lights in Amsterdam have they know yep I know you mean that one. He had some red lights in Amsterdam. Have they now? Yep.

Whole damn district. I don't want red lights in my... Billy was, if Francis came, or me and Francis were talking about him going to Amsterdam downstairs and Billy came over and he said, he was like, you gotta go to the red light district. I was like, it's fucking incredible.

I said, I'm not big on whores. Well, they're not whores. I don't like going out whoring. They're not whores, they're ladies of the night. Isn't whores okay again? No. Prostitutes is not okay. Why?

I think they prefer sex workers or whores. Whores. You're not supposed to, there's all these TikToks. If you just go on a TikTok about Amsterdam, the first thing that comes up is someone walking through the red light district and they're like, what I thought it would be like, and it's like seductive and then what it's really like, and it's a billion people. But then all the comments are like, it's not actually like that. And you can find some videos of people surreptitiously

filming because you're not supposed to film the whores. That's what Billy did. Are you not supposed to film them? You're not supposed to film the whores. No, Spud did that. Spud did that, yeah. He's filming the whores? He wears like a chest-mounted GoPro, I think. Right. You gotta get the glasses, really. Yeah, you should get the glasses and go. Ooh.

Go right up to them. Ooh. Hello, are you a whore? Yeah. Hello whore. Like, rap on the glass. Yeah. Dun, dun, dun.

Wakey wakey. They sleep in there. I've got a boner. Like hamsters. They're just on the other side of the glass. They're trying to guess passwords. Cryptic cricket, cricked its neck at the critical crick. Make him up like a dad.

Up now. Let's go. And they're just on a treadmill drinking water out of a bottle on the ceiling. They're just like ripped up newspaper on the floor as they piss. Why? Why is prostitution so accepted over there? But here it's so shamed. Answer me that in Nevada. It's legal. They regulate it and they think they make it safer as a result. They probably do.

But is it like a respectable profession? Like if you're like, Oh, I'm a, I work on the red light. You're a career woman. Yeah. I suspect that there's still probably some, yeah. You get like health and dental. There's not a whole lot of like opera singers and theater people who are inviting a whore to dinner. Right. Richard Gere was the only one.

That's right. Pretty Woman. Ever seen it? No, I haven't actually. Julia Roberts. Big mistake. I I haven't actually Julia Roberts big mistake I'm not a huge Julia Roberts fan big TBF a way you've never seen Aaron Brockovich TBF I have and you're not a Julia Roberts man huge Julia Roberts fan. No, Aaron Brockovich makes That guy who played the Hulk. What's his name?

Edward Norton the newest one one. Eric Bannon. Mark Ruffalo. Mark Ruffalo's Dark Waters. Aaron Brockovich walked so that Mark Ruffalo could run. Dark Waters is a phenomenal movie. Then you need to see Aaron Brockovich. I've seen Aaron Brockovich. I've said that three times. Aaron Brockovich is sort of the precursor to Dark Waters. No, I really think that you would like Aaron Brockovich because it's like Dark Waters with a little- I haven't seen pretty women. With a push-up bra, basically. Yeah, it's much like, but it has this element

of sort of like getting a woman paid too. Yes. But Dark Waters is better because it's, because Mark Ruffalo's the fucking man. He's good, but she went in and- Except I don't love him in Spotlight. She said, you got, that's all you got, lady, is two bad feet and fucking ugly shoes.

Yeah. She, she like, I think you need to watch it as a grown man. Cause you watched it as a boy. I did watch it as a grown man. I watched it like a year ago. I don't think you've seen it. Maybe you see pretty woman first. She was some hot ass mid.

The love interest is, is Aaron from, uh, Aaron Eckhart, Aaron Eckhart two-face. Have you guys ever seen being Aaron Brockovich? Yeah becoming Aaron Brockovich The prequel it was incredible. I think that that's our actress who never dumped it Roberts Roberts never dumped. Oh, I think she might have dumped it. Roberts. Roberts never dumped? No. I think she might have dumped. Wouldn't she have done it in the whoring movie? You could just look it up. I think that you're, yeah, Mr. Skin. I think you're confusing her with Jamie Lee Curtis who plays a whore in Trading Places and she dumps tit. She does in that movie? I think she dumped tit a slew of times. Wow. I just went to look up, did Erin Brockovich ever do nude scenes?

And you're thinking of John Brockovich. Oh, Julia Roberts says she has made the choice to not do nude scenes. Wow. Case in point. Okay, that's a great callback. Amazing callback. So that's an opportunity for all you AI heads out there.

Yeah. That means that there's a chasm in the marketplace. Oh yeah. People wanna see her ass the marketplace. People want to see her ass naked and it's time to see her getting banged out by Grover. I'm going to make it my life goal. I'm going to write a script for the next decade that has Julia Roberts being nude in it. And I go, it's going to be so good that she's not going to be able to turn it down. She weeps. She's like, this is incredible. It just gets naked for you, I think you can do it. I think I know what's the premise gonna be though

oceans for 15 This is incredible Isn't nuts that she wasn't in oceans eight that she was in all the other oceans moving there Like we're doing one for the ladies. She's like no, I mean good mess good mess there I always thought that moment in Ocean's 12 where they have her play look like to Julia Roberts was a little too meta. Yeah, I thought it was pretty dumb.

That movie wasn't great. Ocean's 11 and Ocean's 13 were great though. Did you see that Pitt and Clooney are back together? I didn't know. What are they doing? They're doing a movie where they're both fixers. Oh. And it's basically Ocean's 16.

Fixer, I hardly knew her. What is a fixer? On fire. Like when someone kills a hooker and somebody comes in and they're like, let me fix this for you. Oh. Fixed our dog Ruby the other week. Really?

Spayed. What? David? Spayed her? I spayed her. Oh, I see. Come on. I didn't know lady dogs got fixed. Yeah, they do. Of course, spade your dogs. You never watched Bob Barker? What'd you say? They seal them up.

We're gonna need more putty over here. just like twist it shut like putting a cork back into a wine bottle. I actually didn't know that I thought it was over that I thought it was only male dogs Yeah, you just put the cock in them It's interesting call. No. Yeah, I know what you meant. Yeah. All right. I gotta go I'm gonna fall asleep and I'm gonna throw up at the same time. You don't seem sick at all I feel awful dude. You don't seem sick at all honestly. I feel awful dude. You don't seem sick. Whenever I'm sick you fucking know it. I got very tired from eating all that Nutella and those Biscoff cookies. Probably had something to do with all the ecstasy that you ate. I'm not doing that great either.

Because you could have, I mean if Billy and Spud tell it you could just take a walk around the block and that'll beat your fucking A1C or whatever. Yeah. Exactly right. And I have to get to the gym later to do a lot of pull-ups. Oh fuck Yeah, I'm really hitting the pull-ups hard. I've got like this wine or something Yeah, I feel so bad H1n1. Yeah, I don't know what I can't see and not fucking good. Everybody's got something. Yeah All right cool Cleveland Cleveland this weekend me and sass come check us out Let me know any good fishing spots in central PA. Or it doesn't even have to be Central PA. Restaurant recommendations would be ideal. Or some lighting suggestions.

Lighting suggestions would help. I'm looking at like Allied Maker, looking at Apparatus. I've been looking at Pine Creek. Roland Hill. That caliber. What about something that... Slate Run was definitely intriguing for me. Yeah pendant like the ones where you drop the sconce. So what kind of hatches are going on in Central PA in late August. Sconce would be good. So I was thinking about throwing some BWOs but I don't know what the terrestrial scene was like out there. Gosey Rhone and

Pup Punk in Philadelphia. Yes I'll be there the same week that sass is in Central, Pennsylvania Maybe you could Stroll through the show sing rocket men. Yeah, would you sure that's a lie? No, no, definitely not Also anyone I was gonna get a tent to go camping but then I was like I could just sleep in the car. The fuck is wrong with you? Get a tent, you weirdo. Well, no, like if I got a big car and I just put the seat down and put my sleeping pad down. That's how little kids die sleeping in the car. But it would be a lot cheaper than having to buy a tent. Tents are cheap as hell. They're like 150 bucks.

You know that they're, yeah, first off you can get like the house tent that inflates for 150 bucks. You can get tents for very cheap. I know a guy who can get us a discount on a tent for his birthday. You can get like $30 tents, but if I'm gonna get a tent I want to get one that's gonna last. I'm a really nice one. Let's treat him to a tent. I'm also gonna have to get like a fucking tamp oven or one of those butane things It's expensive Tamp, tamp oven I barely even know

It's all gonna be, everything is so expensive dude Why don't you just bring a couple of peanut butter and jellies? I'm making no money It's crazy how rich people like Sass always complain about how expensive everything is I don't have any money It's the performative uh Like wanting to be part of a lower class Yeah It's like performative like wanting to be part of a lower class.

Yeah. It's like the selective victimhood. Mm-hmm. Not wanting your audience to think you abandoned them. So sick. Alright, let's end this. We've been ending for the last 30 minutes straight. It's nice though. It's a little treat for the people. I like a little fizzle. Thank you guys for listening. Cleveland this weekend and let me know if anyone has any good fishing spots. Philly for potluck. Alright, goodbye.