Son of a Boy Dad - Mouse in the House - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 103

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Rone is out today, so we have Francis Ellis filing in for him to talk about Sas getting ran out of his apartment by mice, how quickly one can destroy a hotel room, shares some stories about the road life with Sas, and more. Then a bunch of the episode is Francis chipping away about a Sas' childhood after Sas shares the story of the time he was almost decapitated. Ads: Betterhelp This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to https://barstool.link/SONbetterhelp for 10% off your first monthYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is February 28th and we are joined by Francis Ellis. Today, Roan could not make it. Before we get into that, though, I just want to say, make sure you like the episode and subscribe to the YouTube.

Also, I want to say I will be in Albany, New York, Poughkeepsie, New York this week, March 2nd and 3rd. And then I'll be in Toronto March 17th that weekend. And then I'm going to be in Austin, Texas for Moon Tower Comedy Festival. weekend and then i'm going to be in austin texas for moon tower comedy festival and then francis and i are going to be in san francisco at cobs comedy club april 28th and 29th and i'm going to be in detroit michigan may 18th 19th and 20th and we're going to be in charlestown west virginia West Virginia at the Charlestown Casino and Raceway for Fran Squatch. Two of us are going to be co-headlining a gig down there. That's May 12th. You can get tickets for that.

Just Google it right now, but it'll probably be on my website, Francis Ellis dot com. Where are people getting tickets for your? Oh, yeah. All my stuff is going to be on my link tree on my Instagram, twitter nice do you have a website that i'm it's coming out soon good yeah good you deserve one uh guys you can see me i'm on tour right now the hero we need to our francis else.com come into a city near you all over everywhere yeah that's right yeah we had a nice little time yeah we went to long island long beach long beach long island by the way you're going to um you're going to poughkeepsie

yeah so the they're the river up there which is the hudson yeah what's interesting about that part of the world is that the hudson river actually flows in both directions okay the current changes that's um that's very unusual for a river that is very unusual for a river so you can make some jokes about going both ways all right that's something i did when i was there just giving you i'm giving you a piece of local a local bit yeah that you can start off with where they'll be like well you called our river bisexual. It's right off the jump. Yeah.

They probably get that a lot. I wonder if they do. Probably not. No. They probably just get a lot of people saying that they live in a piece of shit city. Poughkeepsie. Yeah. Yeah.

I actually kind of don't mind Poughkeepsie. No, it's close too, which I'm happy about. It's relatively close. They've got some good schools. I think Marist is up there. Yeah. And maybe some others. So there's a big college scene.

Yeah. You'll get some kids out. Yeah, I'm doing one show in Albany and then two in Poughkeepsie. Nice. Nice. Would I have rather had it the other way around? Maybe. More shows in Albany.

Yeah. And fewer shows in Poughkeepsie. Yeah. I think you will like Poughkeepsie more than you'll like albany if i had to guess i have no idea i just know albany's selling better than i see i see what you're saying that's interesting i think the poughkeepsie room is smaller no it's much bigger what or no the no the poughkeepsie room is smaller. Yeah. Yeah. That was up. Yeah. But the people is like 350. Yeah. It's in the mall.

The the the Poughkeepsie room is in a bar and they have good food and stuff. And it's a lively place that people come to hang out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It'd be fun. Yeah. I'm excited to go back on the road. I haven't been on the road since Boston.

So how are you going to get up there? Train probably. Nice. Yeah. If I had a car, I would would drive i don't could rent one but then the thing is when you rent those cars you gotta there's like nowhere to bring them do you have a driver's license yeah but like you can't i can't um because you're going somewhere that like like when i did when i rented a car to go to rochester it wasn't somewhere I could bring a car.

It's not like when you get it from like Hertz or something like that, you can bring it and drop it off. So I just had to have it in Rochester the whole time. And then I got charged every day, even though it was just sitting in a parking lot. Because I had to drive it back. I don't understand. Like when you rent a car with like Hertz, if I was going to like Albany, there's probably a Hertz there. Or you could leave it. You can drop it off and then they only charge you for one day and then you could rent another car to come home oh why would you rent two cars so that you don't get charged

for the days that you're there when you're not using the car i see what you're saying you only need the car to get up there yeah back yeah so you don't want to have a car you don't want to have a car while you're up there to go do random things. Drive. No, it's not going to do anything. You don't want to go get coffee. No.

And if I did, I would just Uber Eats it or get it from the hotel. A bagel. No, I don't eat until I go to the comedy club and then I eat something and then I go diarrhea for 45 minutes. Wait a second. I go up on stage.

You don't eat anything until you go to the club for the whole day. But I'm not, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to do that this weekend. This weekend. I'm like, knock on. I think I'm just going to try and not drink.

Let me ask you something. What is it that you, what, what got you into this mindset of just treating yourself so poorly? It's not a mind. It's not like a, I don't want to do that. It's just,

it happens. Why? I have bad habits do you think that you glamorize um no not at all not being a kempt person no because i was a very well held i was a very super healthy person for a while and then i stopped working out and then everything just came crumbling down because i like i used to go to the gym every day and i would eat like only like chicken and broccoli i think it's because i go so hard when i go to the gym that becomes like my entire thing is like i'm a workout dude now and i eat so i like weigh all my food and shit like i had like food scales going what like tracking my calories why because i was trying

to get super ripped and i did did you you? For a couple months. Do you have any shirtless pics? No, don't worry about it. I am not worried. I'm intrigued. They're not like, I don't feel like going through that. You have some though. No, not on this phone. Do you have any pics of your best bod?

I could find them. Yeah, I'd like to see those. I'd like to see, be fun to see how far you've fallen. I was, I got, got so i went so when i first started working out it was like uh it was senior year of high school and i didn't know anything about like nutrition so i decided to just eat chicken and broccoli for every meal little did i know that i was actually in a super big calorie deficit. So I didn't get big.

I just got super skinny. Oh, and you weren't eating enough. I wasn't eating enough at all. So I was like, I lost all. I was like, I was like 10% body fat, which is like pretty low. That's good. And I had like abs and. And but I was skinny as fuck like too skinny like you were trying to get shallamay skinny you were trying to get muscular and then i then i learned about all of it and then what do you know

now i know like i know like what like i need like macros wise what's that what do you mean what do you need macros wise like i know like i know how to like calculate it like macros wise. What's that? What do you mean? What do you need macros wise? Like I know, like I know how to like calculate it. Like I know, I know how many carbs I need, how much protein I need, how much fat I need.

Do you know that off the top of your head? No, but it's easy as fuck to find out. Well, then it sounds like you don't know it. Did you just open up BMI calculator or like macro calculator? You got an app? No,

you look, look it up. You just look up macro calculator and then you type in your weight and your height and then what you want what your goal is and then it tells you everything that you need to eat that's pretty cool yeah and uh so then i and i like then when i got back into i mean i never stopped working out but then i was like all right i'm gonna bulk and i didn't really get as into it because i was at college so i wasn't like tracking my calories i was kind of just like all right i know i need more protein i know i need more carbs just kind of like rough doing a rough scale of it and then uh and then i got bigger but then when i really got like when i

put on a lot of mass muscle was probably like last year or two years ago i guess now and then i got like strong i was dead lifting like 225. Nice. And I could bench 185 for one rep. Sick. And, and, and that was when I was strong as fuck for me.

And then I got COVID and then I have probably been to the gym 10 times since then. And that was over a year ago. Damn. Yeah. We got to get you back, back man and then i started doing stand up and then it's like i can only i'm like i have hard times focusing on more than one thing at once so like at that time it was like working out was like like work was like in the back burner working out was planned was the first thing could we not reframe the way that you look at all of

this and say that you working out and eating well is going to help you with your work with stand up? No, I think it would because I'd feel better and I'd be more energetic. I think you'd have more energy. Yeah. I look at you and I look, I think I'm worried about you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the problem is it's just like, like my killing yourself.

Yeah. My sleep schedule is fucked. I, I, I don't eat that bad. I don't eat super unhealthy i usually try and eat like relatively healthy it's more just like and i actually have cut back on drinking a good bit i really only drink on the weekends now and even then it's like sometimes i don't even drink on the weekends oh and i also do stand up sober pretty much all the time that's good i'm glad you got rid of that mindset well i also realized i just sucked at stand up sober pretty much all the time. That's good. I'm glad you got rid of that mindset.

Well, I also realized I just sucked at stand up when I was drunk. Yeah. Because I would like I would be like on stage and be like, damn, I'm fucking killing. And then I'd watch the tapes and there'd be like 40 second pauses in between words. And I'd be like, dude, I look fucking so dumb right now. Yeah. So. Yeah.

But the plan is when I move. I'm going to start cooking for myself again. When are you moving? I think I'm going to move at the end of March. Nice. Yeah. Where are you going to move to? Are you going to live alone?

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. You're going to get a sweet pad? Probably not. How much are you willing?

What's your budget? I'd probably cap out at like, Right now I pay $1,800. Probably more like $2,000 with all the Wi-Fi and shit. And then I'd probably be okay. Like $3,000 I'd be fine with. I don't think I'd want to do $4,000. I think you can go to $4,000. I think I could. I don't want to though. Yeah don't think I'd want to do four. I think you can go to four. I think I could. I don't want to, though.

Yeah, but you'll see a place. You'll see a place that's four. And it's going to be a lot better than the place that's three and a half. Yeah, I don't know. I just don't like spending money. Yeah, but here's the thing. I actually haven't paid rent since I wrote out my rent check today. My landlord just doesn't ask for rent.

It's kind of like a, we're like on like a trust. We're on a trust system. I haven't, I was doing the math today and I was like, I was like, oh shit, I'm going to,

I should bring my, cause I have nothing to do today after this. So I was like, maybe I'll go bring my rent to my landlord. And then I decided I'm not to. Cause it's so he, it's a very shitty system. Like any other place that I've lived,

it's been like, there's a portal or Venmo,ell anything this is you got to bring in a a handwritten check yeah to the land you had to bring it to his apartment i've done that before and uh he lives all the way up by central park which it's not that it's not that that's far but it's that his apartment is a like a 15 minute walk off the train which i'm like why don't you mail it to him i'm gonna do this outside i'm gonna do that today ahead of time and uh but i have to pay i'm paying i'm paying five months of rent today are you sure this guy's still alive i don't know dude yo there's no chance you owe rent just don't know but the lat but the

thing is every time i've paid rent it's been like that i've probably paid rent three times in the last year and a half and you just trust that you'll catch up and it's been like four month payments man so i haven't paid rent since november is your roommate paying rent i have no idea do we haven't he it got to a point where he was like on our ass for a bit being like i'm gonna have to start charging you guys late fees and that was when i brought in like a shit ton of months yeah and i paid like months ahead too because i was like i know i'm so bad at this and i just want to get it over with and uh i legitimately that was in november haven't heard a word from him since but also we have this big mice problem and he's

like refusing to do anything about it so part of me wonders if he's like being like lenient about that because he knows that he's fucking us and that like no like people are people are moving out of the uh apartment oh lots of people yeah like just like abandoning it because they're like this is fucking insane how many mice there are yeah how many are there i mean we were in our apartment on it's a million it was the middle of the day middle of the day one just ran right when you were over there you saw mice yeah like every time what every time it hit mook yeah hit mook in the foot you see a bunch of them yeah and do the apartment's not dirty the apartment is clean and we've had we've told him like a hundred times we've had like the extra he sends over the exterminator it's just a super it's just some dude he comes

over and like moves a bunch of shit around and then it's like well there's dust behind the stove why do you think you have mice and then that's it and then we're like yeah dude that he left 10 minutes ago we just saw three mice run through the kitchen he's like all right we're gonna send someone over again tomorrow and they come and they just don't do anything and then it's like so now since that's happened he has been very he went radio silent because i think he knows that he's fucking us because we asked to move out i was like hey dude the mice problem is out of control we pretty much can't well no i was like i was like dude we can't go we can't go in our living room it's your whole building yeah it's just yours but it's like so like we're like i don't leave my room

because my room i have like a draft guard so the mice can't get in it's like sealed off completely do you walk into your bedroom like like uh as though you're not letting a cat out no i'm but but i never i never go to the bathroom or anything and leave my door open and if i do if i if i'm like i'll be like taking a piss and i'll be like fuck did i close my door and i'll cut the piss off and go back and close the door and then go back to the bathroom because dude i've woken up in the middle of the night to mice on my in my room oh and that's not a feeling that i've ever i ever want to experience again so like dude we don't have like we we moved where our trash is like we don't have a room. Our apartment is clean as fuck.

And we still have so much mice. Shoot. You know what? Why don't you get a cat? I don't want to get a cat, dude. We're all moving away from each other. We're not living together anymore. Or a snake.

Yeah, that would be way worse. But I'd rather have mice than have a snake slithering around the apartment. But yeah, it sucks. So I think I'm just going to get out of there at the end of this month. Break your lease? No, I mean, our lease is up in May 1st. I think I'm just going to bail a month early just pay it yeah that's not a fun situation i mean we've been we just fucked up like we've been there we're gonna be

there for 16 months uh-huh which we should have just signed a year but it was like we were like holy shit we're in west village like this is because we were in hell's kitchen before so we're like this is fucking nuts like let's stay here for as long as we can yeah and it wasn't even bad like it was pretty like i mean i still love the area it's just like it didn't get bad like the mice problem wasn't even until like probably september november yeah it took over and then it went away and then they went away for a while and then they came back harder than ever they fully invaded but it's like so i so i sent the landlord an email and i was like hey dude uh we can't use almost all of our apartment because unless you want mice running around your feet blah blah blah i was like is

there any chance we could break the lease and get out of here early and he was like unfortunately no i was like what do you mean unfortunately no you make the rule don't try and act like you're upset about it too it's like you could easily just be like yeah sure yeah it's not like he owns the he owns the building i think he means unfortunately for you yeah he should have said that and then he uh and then owen my roommate who you know, he he sent him an email and was like, this was after the exterminator came again. And he was like, dude, this is insane. Like the mice problems out of control. He's like, you guys need to do something about this.

Like, it's like not OK. And then he called him and he was like, my mother's in the hospital, like the landlord. And he was like, dude, that doesn't have anything to do with the fucking mice.'s mice in our apartment also no yeah also yeah your mom's not in the hospital he's like 90 your mom has been dead for 80 years like seriously he's like he's like an old like west village dude you know it's like your mom is not alive it's so funny i i'm thinking now i i've lived i'm i'm 33 i've lived in new york since i was 22 and in those 11 years i think i've lived in eight different apartments so it's pretty good a lot of times i've lived in this is my third apartment i've only been here for i guess that's on track to be the same yeah um and i've had i've had a lot of interesting experiences i've had some really bad experiences

the worst experience i had i uh was in my old apartment when i lived in chelsea yeah and it was on the it was a garden apartment so it was on the like the ground floor and the bedroom was you know there was a glass door out into this little garden area and there was no insulation. Yeah. And the heating didn't work really that well. And so in the winter when it got cold, I mean, my room would be, I'd be sleeping and it would be 52 degrees. Yeah. That's fucking insane.

52. You could see your breath. That's fucking nuts. And I, I mean and i i mean there was there was no amount of blankets yeah you know it's sort of like when you go try to summit everest and you just accept that when you're sleeping in camp three yeah you're gonna be cold yeah it's not gonna you know you're you're not gonna be warm sleeping but it was new york city chelsea yeah that's an expensive neighborhood not nepal yeah so um i brought it up so many times they would buy me a 20 space heater and

send that that didn't really help that much those are dangerous too right sure yeah things just explode they all yeah and people leave them on and they burn down yeah you know tenement housing i think and uh finally you know we one night i had to go sleep in a hotel because it was so cold you did i did that with when the mice first came that's kind of a treat though it was awesome when you go sleep in a hotel you can't live in your own home yeah i've actually do that twice it kind of makes me feel like divorce would be okay yeah i had to do that when i was living in east village and both my roommates were out of town and i came back from massachusetts and i forgot my keys left them at home and i called my landlord and i was like hey man i can't get into my apartment it was like noon and he's like, hey man, I can't get into my apartment. It was like noon.

And he was like, sorry man, I got a dentist appointment today. Wow. I was like, all right, well what about the fucking 10 hours when you don't have a dentist appointment? Yeah. Let me into my house. That's crazy. So I had to get a hotel. Where did you go? Do you remember what hotel it was? Dude, it was like a nice ass hotel,

but it was like in the height of COVID. I remember it being like super eerie because I was the only person there. And I remember walking down this long-ass hall and it's just complete silence. Yeah, spooky. Yeah. But it was nice. Man, you never stay in hotels in New York City. But when you do, it's kind of a treat.

Is it small? They're not that bad. Some are okay. Some are not so bad. they're definitely not like other places when you go to hotels they're much different one time i was dating a girl um for a long long time and we lived together and this is her wife no no no but it's funny to say one time i was dating a girl for a really long long time and we lived together once upon a time in my life the most significant relationship other than the one i'm currently in which is a marriage uh anyway we broke up and she was you know um she like laughed

but had hadn't moved out completely and so we had a bunch of, you know, pictures and stuff up of us. And she, I think she was going, she was moving to another state. And, um, so there, it was all still in there and I was single then. And then I had a girl that I met who I wanted to hang out with. Yeah. But I couldn't bring her over to my home because there's pictures everywhere. It just looked like a shrine. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. His girlfriend. Yeah. And so I got us a hotel room. Yeah. And she was like, what? That's weird.

You know, it's tough to explain to a girl who you've met at a bar or whatever, where you're like, yeah. She's like, where do you live? And you're like, I live in Brooklyn. Yeah. And she's like, cool. And then hours later, she's like, you want to get out of here? And you're like, hold on, let me check hotels tonight.

Oh, yeah. She's like, she's like, what do you mean? Why can't we go the 15 minutes home to your apartment? And you're like, ah, there's a mice problem yeah yeah that's not a bad idea either trust me you don't want to go yeah yeah that's uh that was a fun night but then yeah then you uh hotels are fun this show is brought to you by better help getting to know yourself can be a long process, especially because we're always growing and changing. I'm growing and I'm changing every day like a butterfly or like a caterpillar. Therapy is all about deepening your self-awareness and understanding because sometimes

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I can video chat with them. It's very easy. There's a lot of options. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com to get 10 off your first month that's better help help.com slash sun yeah they're not bad except i don't know i'm kind of over hotels right now when you're on the road and you're in a hotel uh do you just destroy the hotel room dude i i it goes from i'm it's actually like i'm like a i wouldn't say like i

can keep my room clean like i have to keep my room clean right because it's so small and because there's mice so i can't let it get dirty right but dude the the pace that i'm able to make the room just like a bomb went off in there is like, I feel like someone might want to do like studies on it. Like within, within five minutes of me being there, there's like underwear across the room. The bets are off.

And I don't even know how it got there. All bets are off. You're just using full towels to wipe the jizz off your stomach yeah and then you're looking at that on the floor and you're like oh which one's clean i need to shower again yeah like i when i the worst is when i'm checking out and i gotta like walk all around my room and i'm like finding like shirts like tucked away in like corners and i'm like i don't even know what this is doing over here it's like you go in and you just start throwing things all over the yeah yeah it's actually it's like you had a temper tantrum yeah it's like the more space they give me like

the worse yeah like have you ever been like i got like an i got like upgraded when we went to plano this never happened to me the dude was like a fan. Oh, that's sick. Yeah, it was really cool. At the hotel? Yeah. That's cool. I'm going there soon, so I hope that happens to me. I bet he will be. And I think he's like a big Barstool fan.

Hey, if you're listening to this, dude at the Plano Hotel, I'm coming in April. I hope that you give me an upgrade. Plano Hotel. I'm coming in April. I hope that you give me an upgrade. Plano is not bad. Is it not bad? It's not bad.

Okay. It's a fun little area. Oh, there's actually a pool hall or pool bar literally next to the club. Is there? Right across the street. Good tables? Turns into a very black bar at night. Oh. I think we were the only white people there i've been there before

get a couple games in i like the sound of that it's actually a fun ass night i like those nights yeah where you just say oh my gosh i'm the only white guy yeah it was fun that's fun um but yeah it's a nice bar okay right across the street We would play pool there for hours before the show. You and Mook? Yeah. How's Mook at pool? He's not bad. Are you guys pretty level? No, I'm way better than him.

You are? Way better. Let's say you guys played 10 games. What would the score be? It would probably be like 9-1. Oh, that bad? Yeah. If I'm trying and I'm on, then yes.

If I'm kind of like, I don't feel like doing this. I don't want to do this show tonight. Then it's more like even. I see. Or if I have a little bit of a tummy ache. My goal this weekend is to just not get a stomach ache. But I think that's going to require me having like three beers max. Yeah.

Okay. Because I just can't can't like it's becoming so unsustainable and so miserable like waking up on the road hungover looking to your right just a big ass whopper box next to you oh you're eating whoppers a big gulp diet coke are you really you're eating whoppers like yes and no i'm usually pretty good about it but then there'll be one night where we just break and i just buy i think i buy out burger king for the night do you remember do you remember when we went to st louis yeah and the only thing that we would have at night was the stuff from the vending machine oh yeah yeah yeah

i saw the video of you selecting your things oh i don't know if i've ever seen it it's fun yeah i just remember i think i went back to the vending machine yeah like when we went i went back to my went to my room and then i went back to the vending machine why'd you do that i wanted more oh i wasn't satisfied you were buying trail mix and stuff right i don't probably bought the trail mix for you as a little show did you and i went back and i got the fucking... Oh, you don't have to worry about me. The Swedish fish and the Doritos.

No, I wasn't going to judge. I'm just going to grab some trail mix. What do you want, Francis? You jerk. Yeah. I'm going to have a bottle of water. Do they have any of those quinoa crisps? Any of those alternative crisp things oh man i uh that's

good man well i you know it's been fun i like going on the road with you and you and i have bonded over pool ourselves yeah you're the only person with whom i play pool yeah i've i've cut back on that as well a little bit but i'm pumped to uh go back on the road play some pool pumped to go to cobs it's gonna be fun as fuck hell yeah what do you think our lifetime record is in pool you versus me i mean just from saint louis alone we played for like nine hours yeah we played a lot of hours of pool in saint louis but that's also because there was just there's literally nothing else to do that bar was crazy too yeah it was we pulled up to this like bar that didn't even look like it was open no it was like under construction and we walked in and there's just like a couple like ladies sitting there just getting shit faced yeah and it's like it had to have been 1 p.m yeah at best yeah yeah

and they're like we've seen dave attell before yeah is dave with you guys is that who it was they all everywhere you go everyone's like oh we've seen dave attell before okay but they did say dave attell yeah they were all so excited that we were there yeah you know who i get a lot is i get Dave Attell. And then I get, dude, I get Michael Rappaport all the time. People say they've gone to see him. They all say they've gone to see him. And then all the staff at every club, they're like, oh, Michael Rappaport was just here. He's such a sweetheart.

Oh, wow. He's an angel. Nice. Yeah. They all, every club I go to. That's interesting. Yeah. Everybody at Barstool has had a very different experience.

Yeah, I know. I don't know anything about him. I just know that Dave fired him. Yep. Well, he and I have that in common. Oh, yeah. Were you here when he was here? Yes, I was. Did you guys ever talk?

He told me to come fight him. Oh, nice. On Twitter. He said, meet me here. We're going to fight. And I didn't go because I didn't. I wasn't upset. What was he trying to fight for? Well, I think for some reason he was mad at Donnie.

And I think Donnie had said something and then he got mad at Donnie and was telling Donnie some negative things. And then I came in and I said, Donnie works at the company with us. He's our coworker. And then he said, why don't you come fight me? Something like that. He's very defensive.

People love to threaten physical altercation when it's like no one wants. Why would you want that? I think that it's easy to do on on the Internet. And then if you actually were to do that in the streets, people are much more. Oh, whoa. I didn't mean anything by that. Yeah, I don't want to have to go to work tomorrow and explain why I have a fucking busted eye.

Right? Yeah. I wouldn't want to get in a fight what's have you ever hurt yourself have i ever hurt myself yeah have you ever gotten really hurt i broke my arm how'd that happen i almost got decapitated what yeah let's start with the arm hold on it's actually a stretch i want to hear that though but i how'd you break your arm uh i was in fifth grade uh it was my second day i went to private school for one year because my parents thought i had something wrong with me and i i just didn't want to do my homework and i was also like nine yeah uh it was my first day at school or second day at school and i had a lunchbox that had a long strap and i was running trying to catch up to this kid who was in the same next class as me that i didn't know where it was and i tripped over my lunchbox and i flew through the air and i landed on my arm and it broke

and i squealed around on the floor until the nurse came. Was it where? In here or here? Here. Down here? Yeah. So your radius? I don't know what it's called, but it broke big time.

Golly. Was it through the skin? No. Compound fracture? No, but it was, what is that called? When it goes through the skin? A compound fracture. Compound. called when it when it goes through the skin a compound compound what is it when it breaks in two places i'm not sure i don't know broken multiple places and then and then they had to re-break it to put it back in place do you have lasting

pain or issues as a result of that no not at all i mean i i remember i didn't cry for starters pretty cool which sounds squealed which is a lot worse yeah but i didn't cry yeah and then when they rebroke it i didn't cry either i do remember the most painful part of the entire thing was they were uh injecting me with like a numbing thing and they had to put it in the bone oh god and i was getting an x-ray and i could see the needle getting closer and closer to the god and i was getting an x-ray and i could see the needle getting closer and closer to the bone it's like a live x-ray and and when it hit the bone i remember that that was probably the most pain i've ever been in yeah still didn't cry though ho chi minh city probably because i was probably on a shit ton of drugs yeah and then i remember they were

like okay uh it's not gonna hurt now for another couple hours so they were like but make sure you keep it in the sling and you don't like throw it around and i was like i remember walking out of the walking out of the hospital just like fucking connor mcgregor walking out of there being like yeah this doesn't hurt at all you know what the fuck are they talking about and then like i think i think i cried when i got home i remember when i got home it hurt so fucking much i remember i was trying to play video games and i couldn't because it hurt too much well they were uh did they have they didn't have you in a cast no i was in a cast oh yeah oh in a sling yeah i see um okay You got to almost got decapitated. So this was actually the same year. Probably.

Or it might have been a year after. And I was that was a long that was a stretch. I think almost getting decapitated. You would have to have gotten to classifies that. I think like half of it would have been open. But I was biking and there was this like path that would lead to the parking lot of our high school through the woods and there would always be traffic so the high schoolers they would go through that path with their cars they wouldn't have to wait in the line and it became like a

big thing in the town put up these like metal wires oh walk it off so that cars couldn't get through there yeah and i was biking down the street super fast and i didn't see the wire and just fucking clothes lined from like a thin metal wire oh and it literally took me off my bike and like i had like a gash like all along my neck and i remember i went i was sleeping over at this kid's house that night like hanging out yeah and i remember i my mom came to pick me up and like her his i don't know he had a little bit of an odd family oh and i remember the drugs and everything oh and it's not really odd so much as it is criminal what yeah yeah but i remember my mom came and picked me up the next morning.

Why was she letting you sleep over there? I don't think she knew. Oh. I don't think I knew. How did you know at that age that they all had drugs? I don't think I did. But then how do you know? I remember my mom told me I was not to go over there anymore.

And I was like, why not? And she said she'd seen the drugs? No, but I grew up with the kid after that. And he said my family has drugs? No, know i just knew his family i wasn't like good friends with him after that but i just like it's you know they were a family of drugs they all were doing drugs they were doing them yeah they weren't like selling drugs oh i thought it was like a family business no no no um that's crazy that they were all doing drugs together i don't i don't know the drugs part's not the biggest detail of the story i got excited about that part you don't by the way you don't get to tell me what i can like like the most relevant part of the story was that my mom didn't want me to hang

out with some kid when i was like 10 am i wrong in thinking that like you'd be sleeping over at a drug den it wasn't a drug den it was like the most normal sleepover of all time the bad part was that when i when my mom came to pick me up the next morning i walked out of the house and there was fucking like a three centimeter gash going through my entire neck and like the dude's dad never her parents never even told my mom because they were high yeah and she just picked me up like that and i had like a fucking like like a fucking scab like slice over my entire neck and i was like what the fuck does that how she did she find out then about the drugs no i don't know how she found out about the drugs i could

ask her do you think when the kid's dad came out to hand you? Oh, actually I do remember. Uh, yes. Good. When, when,

when my mom came and pick me up at like, uh, 10 AM and the kid's dad had like his breath, like reeked of booze or something. Oh, but then she might've only thought that they were big drinking family, not, not drugs.

There was something with drugs. I don't know. He had like older siblings who were like getting arrested and stuff. For trafficking? Drugs. From the house? No, no. For like possession of drugs.

Just possessing. Yes. They weren't drug dealers. Why did you like this kid? They probably were drug dealers. Why did you like this kid? Dude. I was in fourth grade he was

in like two he was in my class you just didn't really have you just get paired up with people at that age yeah you didn't couldn't discern now and i think i remember liking him because we would go over to his house and there would be no rules because their parents were on drugs weighing shit out yeah you'd go over and you'd just fucking go on the roof of the house and like shoot bb guns and stuff yeah i knew i knew those lights fireworks off i knew those kinds of kids that was crazy those kids when yeah because there's a well-to-do kid you always thought oh my god what i'm so fun not to have rules yeah but then at the same time you had that crisis of conscience where you said oh maybe what my parents said all along was meant to protect me yeah and therefore the fact that we

are now mixing five different types of lighter fluid in this trash can we found we don't know what's gonna happen yeah i'm gonna stand farther back yeah than the other kids and then maybe this will be the last time i hang out with them no i don't think i was i think i remember being really mad that i was not to hang out with that kid anymore but then we got older and we weren't friends anymore what's up what's he up to now no idea i haven't i haven't did he fall did he fall apart he dropped out of high school yeah we haven't talked but i remember like we were like still really good friends like school friends we had like a bunch of classes together when everybody got to an age where drinking and doing drugs was

cool did that kid kind of hit a cool zone because everyone no i think he was already in pretty deep at that point oh that it like wasn't cool oh he there were kids like that too though that like when everyone started drinking and then they'd just go they'd really dive in and they'd be like drinking in school and shit and you'd be like oh maybe don't do that you knew kids that would drink before school yeah did you no never uh no no i never ever did anything like that i would have been way too scared i'm trying to think You knew kids that would drink before school? Yeah. Did you? No, never. No. No, no. I never ever did anything like that. I would have been way too scared. I'm trying to think if I did ever like senior year before like a half day or something, but I don't think I did.

I wasn't so bored of school that I needed to be fucked up for it. School was hard. I think I remember we were like going to do that once during like uh like one of our last days of school we were gonna get like fucked up before school and then i think we were like now that we have to get to school by 7 a.m that sounds fucking terrible yeah there were kids i mean i just i can't think like think now knowing what you know about drinking right yeah but it's also different then because you don't there's there's literally no negative effects of drinking when you're that young. Okay. But this is my point. Like there's not, imagine if someone said to you, Hey dude,

how's your Saturday looking? And you said, it's pretty free. And I said, great. I have a really fun idea for us. Let's go get fucked up and then sit in a geometry class together you would say that sounds like the worst place for us to go to be fucked up why yeah but i kind of disagree at the same time no you wouldn't want to learn about congruent triangles but i think also like when you're that young and you're like doing something like illegal like that i think it's like it's kind of like the excitement of like oh i hope i don't get caught like i remember we went on a school trip when i went on a school trip and i was with all my best friends we had free time we went and we got fucked up where was it europe you went on one of those trips you were one of those kids that got

to go on the europe trip uh i went senior year i never got to go on one of those yeah never got asked i i wasn't supposed to go i got i wiggled my way in my my two best friends were going and they were going for it's like all like optional but then i found out that like our our uh group like our whole like our girlfriend group was going to and i was like oh shit this is going to be a blast so i wiggled my way through and i like emailed the professor i didn't even have the teacher wasn't even my teacher and i was like hey uh could i come on this and they were like yeah sure and i went and i remember we would that was like the most fun i've ever had in my life like getting fucked up and like being in europe with the whole class on like a tour and you didn't have chaperones no we did but they'd be

like you have an hour of free time and everyone would go like see the sights and we'd go to like papa gino's or papa john's and fucking papa juan's yeah yeah no they had like they had like dominoes and shit in like paris and we would go there and we'd just get like we'd drink as much beer as we possibly could in like 30 minutes yeah and then we'd like buy gum and then we'd go back and they wouldn't smell your breath or look at your bloodshot eyes or anything like that no uh towards the end i think they had to have known because i remember i did uh we got like really really fucked up the last night and we had like a big bus they're on like a tour bus sure and i think i sang lil uzi vert through like the pa system on the tour bus while we were driving home the fact that lil uzi vert was i think i sang relevant or life when you were in high school

yeah we had a kid bruce i can't remember what his last name was yeah but his name was bruce he went on one of those trips yeah everybody loved bruce yeah but he got fucked up on that trip they get in trouble and i don't think they do the trips anymore because they smelled his breath and then he got caught and it was a big deal when they all came back that bruce got suspended yeah yeah we uh i remember me and my buddies tried to sneak out of the hotel one night which this was actually probably a good thing that we got caught because we were like 16 yeah or 17 you needed to be corrected the fact it probably wouldn't have been a good thing if we were wandering the streets of florence yeah at like three in the morning by ourselves three american boys and um we we broke out and then the teacher from her hotel room yelled down to us and was like, get back inside right now. Oh, shit.

We were like, oh, we were just going for a walk. Yeah. And I think we got in a lot of trouble for that. Damn. Yeah, that was super fun. That was the only time I've ever been to Europe. Really? Yeah.

So you have a passport i do that's good uh would you ever go back to europe do you have any oh i would love to go back you like to travel yeah cool i like to go to like uh like like i like going out west yeah america i know that and i like going to uh and And also, I would love to go back to Italy. Really? Yeah. What do you like about Italy? The architecture.

Oh, really? Yeah. Also, I love Peroni. Uh-huh. It's good. They got Peronis on draft out there. They do. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. That's cool that you like architecture. Yeah. I mean, I just like... I'm not fascinated by it, but it just looks cool cool are you walking around with your head pointed up yeah i'd go back to florence too florence just a little more low-key oh really florence is pretty small yes i've been there a couple times to rome rome not rome you have rome is your co-host i do yes uh and rome you've been to rome i went to rome so over that trip it

was like a week and i went to paris which was paris and then we were there for a couple days and then we took a train overnight train to florence cool and then from there we went to rome cool and we went home rome to home but paris i remember just being like this just feels like new york yeah it kind of does yeah there's a busy city it is i remember shotgunning beers in the louvre at We bought beers at the McDonald's. And we went over to a corner of the mall area or the food court area and we shotgunned beers there. And then we went and we saw... The Mona Lisa?

The Mona Lisa. That's kind of fun. Did you watch the Murdoch documentary? I did not, no. I think you'd like it. Yeah, I'm going to watch it. You kind of remind me of some of them. Yeah, you i started watching was succession you haven't seen that no it's fucking good yeah it's one of the better shows that's come out in the last 10 years good yeah

dude i always saw clips of it and i was like this show looks gay as fuck oh damn all like the quick zooms and like the i don't know if that show out of context i could see people not liking uh-huh but well i didn't like it but then i want to i mean like the first episode is fucking amazing it's awesome like right off the bat you're like this show's awesome yeah yeah so you say it looks gay as fuck yeah so what what um is that okay for you to say we is that okay now i don't know i think are you going to cut that no oh well now we might is it

now that you're confronting me on it is it back I say it all the time I don't think to say gay bashedly I'm not saying it bashedly I think you bashed

I'm just saying it's gay as fuck yeah that's bad don't call me out on don't call me out on my words I'm going to highlight this I'm going to stay on gay as fuck Yeah that's bad Don't call me out on my words I'm going to highlight this I like to fixate on the things That you want to move on from Like that kid whose family did drugs

You were saying You were talking about what is Bruce That was his name When was the last time you saw Bruce It's been a long time I saw this kid probably like three years ago there's a chance he might listen to this yeah but he's you know he's in jail he's he needs this from you he's probably like in jail and he's like the one free hour of free time i get a week i like to watch son of a boy yeah i know watch my old friend on the big

screen i bet you and now i'm like shit talking his family on a podcast i'll tell you what i bet you he's had this thought man i used to be best friends with little sasquatch no now he used to come over to our house and nobody watched us we would hang out on the roof and then time you know as so often happens we went our separate ways and now he's this big shot guy at barstool sports which i love because i'm in prison and i wonder if he even knows who i am anymore so for him to hear you saying that you remember those times fondly yeah and that you felt a little bit bad about the fact that his family was so mired in crime the important though like his his family was so mired in crime though like his his mom was really normal do you know that for sure yes how because i know but it sounded like to me you didn't really have

a great handle on how much crime they were involved in this was like in the first this was like in fourth grade and then like we still knew each other for the next 10 years i know and you said things just got worse from that point or getting way too specific. No, no. I mean, now it's like now it's like everyone from my town knows who I'm talking about. Yeah. Every single person. I think we all need to help these kids.

No. Yeah. They're fine. They're probably doing great. No, it sounds like they're in worse shape than ever. No, no. We might be. They're thriving.

Is this what you did on Mean Girls? No. I'm going to have to fucking chop this whole episode. I'm going to have to fucking destroy this whole episode. Tyler just threw out the whole episode. We can move on from the troubled kids. We can move on. They're good people.

But you said you haven't kept up with them. I haven't kept up with a lot of people. I've only, the only two people, I only talked to three people from my hometown. But it sounded like you chose to not maintain a friendship with those. Maybe like, probably like eight max.

Because we were never, we were never like out of school friends after fourth grade. Why? We just weren't. You just do, when you're, when you're that young, you switch your friend group a lot. Really? And then i met my good friends probably in ninth grade did he not fit

with them we were they never crossed paths were you at a different school no how big was your school like a thousand people oh it's a big school so it's 250 kids per class so there's a relatively decent chance that you probably wouldn't have seen him that often in the halls. Were you in more accelerated classes than he was? No. You were both. Did you have classes with him? Yeah.

Up until like senior year. And you chose not to really acknowledge him or. No, we like sat next to each other and talked like every day. I told you, dude, I told you that we were friends until we graduated. Well, then. But you said you grew apart and told you that we were friends well that's how we graduated well then but you said you grew apart and that you had your different friends now dude because you have school friends and then you have out of school friends you have kids that you sit next to and you become friends with them and you talk to them every day but you're not like hey let's go out

after this but don't you think maybe he wanted that he had friends how do you know because i i would i would see him doing stuff. Out of school? Like on his Instagram stories and stuff. He'd be posting videos with friends of his. Of them on the roof? Yeah, they actually were on the roof a lot. Doing the shit that you used to do?

Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. You abandoned him. No, I did not. Dude, we were friends. We were friends probably in fourth grade. And then we probably didn't become friends again until junior year of high school. Oh, you found each other again? No, we just started having classes together again.

I was like, what's up? Oh, that's actually kind of a nice story. No, it's really every single person in the world has that exact same story. No, that's not true. A lot of people. You met your friend and you met your best friend in fucking preschool. And then you guys became stayed friends forever. Well, no, I can't say that.

But I can say that a lot of people don't sort of actively choose to distance themselves from a friend early on in life. Go years and years. It wasn't my parents made me. Yeah. Either way. However, it is. He knew that you were shunning him no no no you don't just go from sleep when you're that young it's just like you're all of a sudden oh this kid's coming to sleep over

i barely even know him but my parents said that he's coming to sleep that's you're downplaying no is that am i right you wouldn't have asked your parents when you're that young all of a sudden your mom's like oh bob was sleeping over tonight and you're like all right uh but hang on a second it's not like no wait a minute wait a second i don't know that i buy that watch porn you definitely told your parents mom dad i want to go to what's his you don't have to say his name definitely not saying his name yeah you would say you would say i want to go let's call him let's call him davey yeah i'm gonna go to davey's house uh can you talk to his parents to coordinate the exchange? You know, make sure that you drop me off and not pick me up.

Whatever. All of that. What's their address? You had to do all that back then. Because you're not taking yourself there. You're not biking there, I presume. No, I think I did. I think we lived pretty close to each other.

But you said you got picked up. Yeah. So your mom had to coordinate a pickup time from the sleepover yeah i guess so i'm assuming she probably spoke to his parents on the phone yeah right which means that the whole thing was organized which means that the friendship was chosen it was it ran deeper than you're allowing let's talk about 3G. Of all the things in life, one of the best things has to be getting high wherever you want. Whenever you want without the paranoia or consuming some sketchy black market bunk what's the best way to do that with threachi of course threachi has the highest quality

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Please use responsibly and go get high responsibly with no paranoia with three. Thank you. Back to the show. I almost said better help at the end. Would have been funny. I don't think it did. I know it did. And then you guys, you got picked up. And then I probably got picked up.

And then my mom was probably like, hey, Baba was coming to sleep over tonight. And I was like, okay, I don't really like him that much, but that's fine. No, no, that's not what happened. No, that's what your mom picked you up and saw you had a scar on your neck from running into the wire and that you'd gone to her the guy's house and he hadn't treated you. His parents hadn't treated you the way that she wanted. He did spray some shit on my neck and then give me a bandaid. Yeah, probably the wrong shit. She probably knew it was the wrong shit.

At which point she said, I don't want you hanging out with him anymore. And you said, fine, OK. And that's what ended the friendship. hanging out with him anymore and you said fine okay and that's what ended the friendship and it wasn't until junior year of high school where you finally said you know what i have a sense of autonomy and maybe even dude he was like we sat next to each other in class let's sit next to each other but you wouldn't have been signed seats you wouldn't okay fine but you still wouldn't have opened up that avenue of communication unless you had been willing at that point to say, I stand on my own two feet. I'm an older man.

Now I'm a young man. I can make decisions for myself. I don't even really remember why my mom said I shouldn't hang out with this kid anymore. Davey want to hang out. I definitely knew why at that point. It's like, I obviously I knew why did he,

he knew he wasn't stupid. I don't think he knew that I wasn't allowed to hang out with him so then he probably took it really personally dude you don't take things personally when you're that young you're just like i think you take it more personally no way he's your best friend you guys are like really you're really good friends dude we hung that was the first time i had ever slept over all right what one sleepover and done? We had one sleepover, yeah. Dude, let me tell you something.

If I had a buddy come over and sleep at my house, if I went to the trouble of telling my mom, Mom, can you talk to so-and-so's mom? TC Hafenreffer, right? I love TC Hafenreffer.

I looked up to this kid, but he was a little bit rough around the edges. I knew it was a risk. And I said, Mom, can you talk to TC Hafenreffer's mom? And he would shoot,

they did, they talked, and TC came over and spent the night with me. And I said, mom, can you talk to TC half and refers mom? And he would shoot. They did. They talk. And TC came over and spent the night with me. And that was the last sleepover he was ever willing to do. I would be offended. I would be more offended if he was someone that I was that we had like 10 sleepovers. And then all of a sudden it was just never again. No, man.

I think one thing done is not that you'd feel judged. You would feel like what's wrong with my house. What's wrong with me? No, because he lived in a nice ass house. You didn't. it was a drug den no it was a nice drug den i'm picturing something out of like a euphoria no dude he lived in like a nice ass house he lived in one of the nicest parts of our town yeah so even more to the point that you probably would have wanted to keep going i think about it all the drug dealers lived in the nicest part of town okay because they were all just like their parents would do drugs yeah Yeah. Because they're like rich as fuck

and they're like, let's just smoke weed. So he, Davey knew. I guess I'll smoke weed too. Davey never knew why you didn't want to hang out with him again,

but you, and you didn't tell him. I don't know. Maybe I did tell him. All right. Well, rack your memory for one second. When you guys,

when you mended fences as juniors in high school, was there a moment of like, hey, man, water under the bridge? Not at all. Not even a little bit. Not even a little bit. Whatever happened all those years ago. Whatever happened 10 years ago. I thought I showed you a good time. He probably didn't even remember.

He definitely remembered me getting decapitated, though. That was hard to forget. I think he remembered. So just right off the bat though, then you guys were right back in your old groove. We were back in a groove of being like, this teacher fucking

sucks. I hate this class. You bonded over that. That was the furthest groove we got into. And then he dropped out halfway through that year oh for real i told you he dropped out of high school i didn't know it was that year yeah dude i thought you had a little more time no he dropped out like junior year you're just telling me that all of a sudden one day you sat down in your assigned seat and he never showed up yeah and then he never showed up again did he did he tell you he was planning to drop out

no he i remember we had a group project and i wasn't in his group because it was like two and two and he had the whole group project on his computer and then the day it was due he just never came back and the other kid got fucked oh i mean i'm that's pretty irresponsible for them to let him put it on his computer i don't think anyone knew he was gonna drop out knowing his family history um i mean that laptop was definitely paid for with no dude dirty 10 provided by from the school the school would give us a laptop and then you got to give it back yeah and i bet you that he didn't give it back and traded it for fucking needles i don't think i gave mine back either to be honest actually i know i didn't because i had it up until i got hired at barstool and they sent me a new one well that's nice to know that's where the

massachusetts taxpayers dollars are going so they actually ended that entire deal with our school they did yeah because no one gave their laptop back yeah i believe that there's just nothing Massachusetts taxpayers dollars are going. So actually ended the entire deal with our school. They did. Yeah. Cause no one gave their laptop. Yeah. I believe that there's just nothing they could do about it. Yeah. All right.

Well, hold on a second. There's so much more that I need to know. There's nothing. There can't be anything. Now I'm completely hooked. Now I'm completely hooked. So you guys are bonding.

You're rebuilding the rapport. I'm assuming at that age you probably exchanged cell phone numbers because you're talking about oh i hate this teacher blah blah there must have been some feelings that were stirred up that had been lying dormant for all those years i think it was like oh i have this class. He would either be there or he wouldn't be there. He missed a lot? Yeah. There was no part of you that thought, maybe I should look out for my friend? Check in

with him? Yo, dude, you've missed a lot of classes. This was literally just someone that I sat next to in class. Don't you think if he heard you say that, he'd be a little hurt again? How many times are you going to ruin this kid's life? Now that I think about it, he probably doesn't even fucking remember me. That's

a cop out. I don't buy that for one second. I do. He's probably like, what that? No chance he doesn't remember you. I bet you this kid's going to, he lives in Boston? Lives near Boston? I don't know where he lives. Next time you're in Boston

he's going to be at your show. With a gun. Yeah, fucking probably with a gun now. Yeah. Yeah, or a nice whole fucking debacle. Hold on. And we're going to have to remove from the show. No, no, no. This is the best part. They're going to come after you. That's fine. And they're dangerous. People come after me all the time. They're dangerous.

I've learned how to blend in. Oh, no. I've got some moves. Oh, they would get you quick. I don't know about that. They would have fun with in. Oh, no. I've got some moves. Oh, they would get you quick. I don't know about that. They would have fun with you. Don't deflect. They would have fun with you.

We are on you and your friends. They would play with you. Your friends. No. Yeah. I would. They would love you. I would get right in with the Klan.

I would go right in with the white supremacists. They're not white supremacists. They're not racist. In prison? No, those guys. Oh, I thought you were talking- Why are you going to prison? Because, I don't know.

That was just what we were talking about. Oh, at no point were we talking about that. I thought you said they would get you, they would eat you alive, and that made me think prison. No, I meant they're going to find you and they're going to fucking- Who's they?

Oh, they got a crew. This is your boy. They got a crew. Your boy. So you are admitting that he's really in bad. He's in a bad. I have no idea. Running with the wrong.

I have no idea, dude. I literally have no idea. It's like I'm going to ask around. I'll ask around after this. The more things change. Has anyone has anyone heard from this kid in a while? Stay the same. I thought you said his mom really tried to clean things up for them.

I think she did. But he'd already dropped out How did she not I don't know if he like dropped out Or if he just started getting homeschooled or some shit No chance There's no chance I think he might have She thought

Or he got like his whatever GED And his mom supervised that Because she sounds to me like a straight shooter She's probably the hero of the story all i know is i i think that they're probably doing pretty well now well the the big before the big question i hope that they're doing great we have one question from all of this and the big question that we have to clarify is whether or not the mom ripped him out of school to homeschool him and get him back on track or whether he

dropped out of his own volition and i don't think you can just drop out when you're a junior i think you need like parents permission i don't think i don't think that the school can stop you if you just stop showing up it's illegal if you're under a certain age you can't do that unless they're like unless you're like have proof of like you're being homeschooled or you're transferring schools yeah but some people some kids are just too far gone and they're untraceable probably like your friend no he definitely was not untraceable i mean it sounds like he was like a drifter no no i think he he was right now what we're describing what we're describing is a kid who like smoked weed in high school i mean i think it was blown out of proportion in all senses it was

way more this is a kid who like went to school smoked weed after school and then when he was in high school was he smoking before school yeah probably yeah he was along with every other person that i went to no he was he was the ring leader no no he said my dad left me some before he left maybe but that wouldn't be the first time that's happened i bet you he idolized his father i have no idea i think he probably glamorized maybe you should have him on your podcast well you need to give me his name and i'm gonna reach out to him as soon as i get off this because i have so many goddamn questions because i'm definitely not giving you his name you know it's you grew up in maine there was probably people that were like growing weed with their

parents have you noticed that like what he'll do in in answering these questions is to be like dude i have no idea well actually what happened was his mom and then he'll do in in answering these questions is to be like dude i have no idea well actually what happened was his mom and then he'll get real specific it's like dude fucking pick up make up your mind are you gonna give us the story or not you keep telling it the story ended 30 minutes you're being so playful this was all about this is all just about me getting decapitated you're teasing us like me getting decapitated to being like a fucking yeah you're like this kid is like a like a wealthy family from massachusetts yeah this is what i'm saying this is what you're doing you're like i don't know anything why are you getting so specific well actually you know he sat next to me junior year and dropped out halfway through the year

you know way more about this family than you want us to know and i'm just trying to get the goddamn story for their sake because i know that kid's in trouble and he's not listening and he wants our help for god's sake harry for god's sake he does not for his sake what is his name i don't remember okay nor will i be giving out any more details on the story that's what you think we all know we know how fucking easy it is to get shit out of you we know um all right fine well listen he knows if we're talking about him right because he would know based on the fact that you spent the night decapitation fourth grade knows right off the decapitation thing yeah and then that his dad was a drug dealer. I don't think he was a drug dealer.

Or a big drug guy. His parents got divorced. I think his dad smoked weed. Mom kicked dad out of the house. This was back when weed was illegal. People looked at it a lot different. Yeah, I remember that. Now it's like if a dad smokes weed, no one gives a shit.

No, they think he's cooler. Back then, this was like, oh my God, they smoke weed? Yeah. Now it's like, dude, they're normal people. They're good folk. Man, you really walked it back on that family, huh? You really do think they're listening. Yes.

I mean. Now I think it's going to get back to them. Because if we're honest, if I'm taking my own evaluation of this family which again has been culled entirely and exclusively from information you have given me you are my only conduit to this i don't this family that i have painted in my mind it is troubled youth, addict, father, criminal, and heroic mother. And they are all just doing their best,

but they're never going to be happy again in their lives. They're probably doing great. And I wish them nothing but the best. Fine. Now you're tied to this. I will. I will die. I will go down with this ship. Now you're tied to this. I will. I will die. I will go down with this ship.

I don't give a shit. I don't know these fucking people. You're going to when they show up at your front door. Yeah. And I'll be like, hey, come on in. There's plenty of drugs here. You fucking bad people. You derelict discus for the American dream.

Oh, Jesus. They're good folk. They're good Massachusetts folk. Yeah, I bet. I bet they are. Well, what else is going on? What are we at? Like an hour and 45?

66. 66. Nice. Nice. 34. This is the longest hour of my life. That was really good. I'm really glad we got there.

That was like 34 minutes of that. Yeah, that was great, dude. That was a good segment. By the way, if this, if Rone's ever out again, I want to meet another member from your past. Because we can do this. We can do this all day. I would gladly tell you about other people from my past this is just one that's this is gonna end up in a bad situation they're the most they're the most rep

they're the most noteworthy i'm gonna start getting phone calls in the middle of the night no you won't and by the way what does it even matter you're awake you don't have a middle of the night from what I understand. You receive a phone call at 2 PM. You're like, Hey, what's going on? Whereas I'd be like,

Oh, 2 PM to 2 AM, 2 AM. Sorry. You're slow. Damn. Francis doesn't wake up until 3 PM. Wish I could have that job at barstool.

Hey, your birthday's coming up. In like a month and a half. That's cool. Actually, now it's like a month. Nice. Yeah. You gonna do anything fun? I don't know.

Can I ask you a different question? Maybe we'll do the case race does it ever strike you as um just super peculiar that if you were living let's say a more normal life for someone in your shoes then you'd be in your senior year of college right now um no not really you don't even envision that track you don't go that you don't have that path in your mind no i mean i went to college for a year weren't into it i just hate school yeah i don't like doing like math and shit but i don't think that when i when i think of college i'm not thinking about that you know i didn't really go to like a party school where'd you go to paul where's that chicago that was more of like a go to a bar like i'd be doing the same shit that i do now

there wasn't like frat parties or like parties would you have any idea what you would have wanted to study i I was studying film. Really? Yeah, which is a fake major. To be a director? No, to be a screenwriter. Interesting. All right.

Well, that's relatively adjacent, I think, to what you do now. That's cool, man. Yeah. But I guess you're right. There's no point to have seen that through. No, this is far the better option. Yeah.

Is there any part of you that worries you missed out on some of your youth by start by entering the workforce as early as you did? Do you feel like you've missed sort of foundational people that I hang out with? Like call them. I think he's given me all the youth that I need when we're going out to like 5 a.m on a Tuesday together no I know yeah maybe I don't know I don't think that those I mean I still I'm still like I still have all my friends yes but is there a sort of invisible gulf between you guys in that you have such different experiences? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, my friends who are in college still, I mean, for the ones that are, it doesn't really seem like I'm missing much.

Do they envy that you have an income? Probably, yeah. I don't think it doesn't really seem like I'm missing much. Do they envy that you have an income? Probably. Yeah. And theoretically a jumpstart on your career. Yeah. I mean, I don't think it's like, uh,

I mean, my friend Bo, he's goes to community college and works and he's transferring to university of Denver, I think. Hmm. So his college experience has been the same as mine right like he just goes to class he doesn't like know anyone from his school ah he has like friends outside that he's like been with for years now and then

yeah then i have two friends who are in school still but they don't like they're not really like i think covid fucked everyone a lot yeah there's not like like my buddy was in a frat when he was a freshman and it was like the biggest frat at his school and then like covid came and they were doing parties still during covid and their frat got fucked well i think that's the huge silver lining is knowing that you would have had an in completely interrupted college experience a whole other year and like a half of zoom classes yeah so i've only missed like a year and a half in a way you dodged one of the great bullets well that's why i dropped out oh really yeah you were gonna try to do both yeah i was gonna do bar stool and go to school. And then they announced that we were doing Zoom classes for the whole next year. And I said, no, thank you.

Wow. Were your parents okay with that? No. How did you put your foot down? I said, I'm going to do this for a year. And if it doesn't work out, I'll go back to school. And they were okay with that? Oh, yeah.

Because I was like, I'm not going to do Zoom classes. Because it's like a waste of time right then we did and then i did that i did barstool for a year and i didn't even know i was gonna stay at barstool because i wasn't really doing anything and then i got brought on the yak and then we started son of a boy dad and then i started doing stand-up, like, all around that same time. Wow. That's a lot of development. So pretty much the whole first year I was here, it was just kind of like I was just existing.

Right. I didn't have any friends at all. At the company? Like, I had, like, I was friends with, like, Nick and KB, but, like, we really wouldn't, like, hang out a lot. I mean, we hang out now, but it's like, I mean, Nick's not like a big going out guy. Like we'll get dinner together. That's fun.

But like I didn't have like, like I like wouldn't do anything. And I was living with like strangers. Right. So I would like literally just lay in my bed and go to work. And play video games. And play video games and go to the gym are you happier now yeah i feel like you're a much more fully realized version of yourself now well i just did busy as fuck all the time it's good yeah that's what you need to be you have the energy

for it yeah you're a young man yeah but yeah so and then my parents actually wanted me to go back to school after my first year here. But you said no. I actually enrolled in a class and then I dropped the class within a week. So I was like, fuck that. Right. I was like, dude, maybe school's awesome. And then I went to one lecture and I was like yeah i'm not doing this shit right that would have been back at depaul dropped out again from depaul yeah wow dropped out twice

actually wow yeah i remember i had a fucking uh i had to call my like counselor like my guidance counselor whatever your advisor yeah and i was like hey hey, I'm looking to enroll in a class. And she was like, so mean. Oh, no. She's like, well, it looks like you haven't been in a class in over a year. And I was like, yeah, I was taking some time off working. And she's like, huh. Really?

Yeah, it was like it was like really weird do your parents feel like that one year that you spent in school that they've been bilked from of it that you bilked that out of them took it from them like that do you owe them for it uh no i think they're probably pretty fucking pumped that i'm actually not in school. Because they got. They don't pay for. Three years. Yeah. Provide for myself completely.

That's pretty nice. So they're probably pretty pumped about that. That's cool. They don't pay my rent or food or anything. That's great. Have you got a credit card? We've talked about this a lot of times. No. You still don't have one.

Yeah. I cannot tell you how angry that makes me. But I'm getting one. I'm supposed to meet with a dude. You've been saying that to me for so fucking long. The fact that you don't have a credit card. No, I'm actually, I'm supposed to meet with a dude actually tomorrow. That you won't, you won't let me just do that for you.

I'm meeting with my business manager. That I can't just sit down with you in 10 minutes. We're going to go over to Chase. Explain to you, this is a credit card. This is how you're going to link this account. You're going to need to pay it every month. We're going to Chase. We're picking up a card. Who's this fucking guy? Did you make this guy up

too? No, it's a real dude. Oh, yeah? Yeah. What's his life story? I don't know. I don't know him at all. You're a business manager? You have a business manager? No, but he's like a business manager. Uh, no, but he's like a business manager. How'd you meet him? Recommended.

Okay. Yeah. And he's just bringing me over. I feel like I want to, I want to check. I want to talk to that guy. He's just setting up my account. Does he work for Chase?

I'm setting up an LLC. Okay. And he's setting it up for me. All right. If you don't have a credit card in a week, I'm stepping in. I'm going to. I'm probably not. I'm probably not going to do that tomorrow.

What do you mean? Why not? I don't know. It just sounds like a pain in the ass. Oh, dude. Oh, my God. I'm telling you. I'll tell you what.

I'm more of a liquid guy. He and I go out. I keep it all in cash. And he fucking pays. He's like, oh, oh here's let me pay for this one and he gives him his debit card and then they're like what's your pin and it's like are you fucking kidding right now do you know how much money i know you're spending a good amount of money and you would be especially been shit are you you're telling me you're paying for your you

pay for your flights yeah with your debit card yeah that makes me sick that truly makes me sick credit cards are meant to accrue travel benefits specifically every time you and i travel if we go to la guardia together i can bring you in maybe to the delta lounge as my plus one but i only get so many of those dude i'll be in the i'll be in the delta lounge before you even know it no you won't yeah you won't when you keep paying with cash like you're fucking pablo escobar dude at a certain point they're gonna see my rockland trust card and they're gonna go holy shit you're the guy you're the guy you're the guy that's keeping rockland trust open just enrages me like yeah you can come in the lounge they're probably gonna add a rockland trust lounge they're gonna name it harry's lounge bro you need for me specifically you need

you did you ever see breaking bad yeah you saw it right yes you know the scene where um skylar brings walter into the um storage unit and money with all the money? With all the money. Yeah. That's like me. She's like, I spray it for ringworm or whatever. You know, crystal. There's some kind of bug that could theoretically eat the cash, I think. But it's just lying there. And it's purposeless.

It's not growing. Well, it's growing in that they keep adding to it because they're adding to it, but it's not growing in and of itself. It's not invested. It's not kicking off points for a potential vacation that you might take. It's not gaining new status so that you'll have a more comfortable seat on an airline just from booking a normal flight or those types of, you remember how much you liked that, that upgrade you got at the hotel from that guy who's going to hook me up.

Remember that? It was just, no, I was actually going to say what I was going to say about that was I actually didn't like it because it was just more room to make a mess with. I don't believe you. You come from humble beginnings. You come from a place where a sleepover spent on someone's roof, drinking beers in fourth grade long before the entire family had collapsed under the weight of their own lost dreams and crippled souls.

That was a fun night for you. It was. And that's still. And then you like that because they had a big house. I'm going to get a credit card tomorrow. Oh, you're fucking not. You just told me you're not.

We're either doing an Amex or we're doing a chase. What's the good one? There's a reserve. The chase Sapphire reserve is a good one. That's what we're going to do. Okay. That's fine. I can live with that.

Can you get into the Delta lounge with that? I think so. You might a couple times a year. And you get unlimited? You get the Centurion Lounge with the Jay Sapphire Reserve. What the hell is that? It's a really good lounge. Better than the Delta?

It's on par. It's better? I like Delta because I fly Delta. I could see if I could get you a plus one. I have access to the Centurion Lounge thanks to my Amex Platinum my mx when i get in it i'm actually going to make a special request there is no lounge you could get into that i can't get into i guarantee you i have too many credit cards i'll get in yeah yeah i can't wait i'm gonna get to the airport before you when we go to san francisco no way jose i'm gonna get there three hours early and i'm gonna be like where are you

at i'll be i'll be like i'm I'll be like, I'm in the bathroom. I'm in the Rockland Trust lounge. No, I'm not. All right. Are we wrapped? That's it. That's a good episode of Son of the Boy Dad. Yeah.

That's fun. I'm Francis Ellis. That's a little Sasquatch. Thanks so much, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, especially you specifically out there, young man. You know who you are. We've been talking about you for the majority of the episode um hairball where can we find you on the road i already said it you already said it guys i'll be with harry in san francisco at cobs at the end of april and then we're on to

charlestown west virginia that's going to be a really fun show because the two of us are going to hang out afterwards and we'll be gambling on the casino floor with you. That's our fun, interactive meet and greet. Come hang out with us. Lose some money on the blackjack tables, whatever it is that we like to do. Barstool Sportsbook. We're all over it. Charlestown, West Virginia is May 12th.

Tickets for that are available on Harry's Linktree. That's Lil Sass's Linktree on his Instagram or his Twitter or my website, FrancisSellis.com. We love you. That's son of a boy, dad. Thank you so much. Goodbye.