Son of a Boy Dad - My First Kiss | Son of a Boy Dad #303

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Hey, let's be freaking great. All right. All right. Great. Let's talk about some stuff. You know what I mean? Bring up stuff. All right. All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is Wednesday, July 21st. We are here live from HQ3. No, that's a first.

Starting point is 00:00:39 Welcome back to the show. You made up the date? Well, I pushed the date ahead one day. Well, why don't you always do it? It's Tuesday, guys. I lied. July what? Did I say it was July? Oh yeah, it's May 20th.

Starting point is 00:00:54 I said July 21st. I meant to say May 21st. So I lied about the date and I moved it a month in advance. Talk about a July. Two months. Oh yeah, two months in advance, yeah. Talk about a vicious July. Two months. Oh yeah, two months in advance, yeah. Talk about a vicious Jew lie. Not my brightest, not my best lie.

Starting point is 00:01:10 But yeah, it's May, it's Tuesday, it's not Wednesday, we're recording this a day early. It's still spring. It's still spring now. Tomorrow is my dad's 70th birthday. And tomorrow is Francis' dad's 70th birthday. Papa Corp. I'm hearing that right now for the first time.

Starting point is 00:01:29 Yeah, that's good, right? Yeah, it's great. I sent him that crib that he was looking for. I sent him the cradle wise that he was hoping to get. You didn't send him anything, did you? No. Son of a bitch. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:44 It's the least I could do for him. What are you gonna get for him? I think I'm gonna write him a long letter about what he means to me. Longhand? Well, I'll type it first and then I'll write it longhand. I think better when I'm typing. Are you gonna get a feather with ink?

Starting point is 00:01:58 No. A quill? Yeah. No, I shan't. Why? It's like the best time to use a quill. Because dipping it in the ink well all the time gets annoying.

Starting point is 00:02:11 Yeah, I can see that. I prefer the technology of a pen that has the ink in it. Yeah. We'll get a pen that looks like a quill. Could. Or like one of those long pink ones that girls would write with in middle school. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:24 A cute little Lisa Frank pen or some shit like you ever have like a nice pen like one of the ones that you get Refilled I always thought those were so silly. I never understood it. How much are they? Oh, they can be a lot really Yeah, but I don't think you need one unless you're a lawyer. Yeah, that used to be the ultimate gift to give a businessman Yeah, I remember my dad had like a box with a pen in it. Give a man a pen. Yeah. There's no good gifts for like dads and men. No.

Starting point is 00:02:51 I got him a belt. Yeah. That's really all you can do. What? At the end of the day, it comes down to just leather. Just sustainability. No, no, no. It's one from my golf club with the boat on it

Starting point is 00:03:03 that he likes so much. So it's a little sentiment. That's nice. Have you ever heard that Louis bit where he's like, I bought a jacket over the, over in the winter. It's probably the last jacket I'll ever buy. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:15 He's like, I'm just buying things for longevity at this point. It is nice. That's what, I mean, you shouldn't have to, the gift-giving culture puts such an onus on the giver that people are getting more shit than they'll ever need. Oh, yeah. I mean you shouldn't have to the gift-giving culture puts such an onus on the giver that People are getting more shit than they'll ever need Oh like the fact that you have to give your dad another gift on Father's Day and then another gift on fucking oh

Starting point is 00:03:33 I don't get him a gift on Father's Day really mm-hmm. It's too close to his birthday Yeah, that is that's a tight window to work with but they have people get mad about that It's my mom is my mom's birthday is three days before Christmas, and she said every gift that she would get to say this for your birthday and Christmas, and she would say, well those are two separate days. Where are my fucking gifts? I would be furious if that happened, especially as a kid.

Starting point is 00:03:59 Like your grandma coming over and being like, birthday and Christmas, and you're like, what the fuck? Getting 50% of the gifts that everyone else is getting. Fourth of July better be crazy this year. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but then it could be so much worse. Imagine if your birthday was on Christmas, like that guy, Jesus.

Starting point is 00:04:15 Yeah, well he got fucked. He probably got no, well actually he got blessed with gifts, but were those, were the gold frankincense and myrrh, were they Christmas gifts or birthday gifts? They didn't really need. They were birthday gifts. True, yeah, I guess at the time they weren't. Happy birthday.

Starting point is 00:04:29 Yeah. That's from all of us. That's probably why your mom became a mom. I know. She's like, I need another gift-giving holiday. Yeah. I'm getting shafted. But still to this day, it's what everyone does.

Starting point is 00:04:39 Golly. Nope, nope, nope. I just can never get this thing right. It's just a constant battle. My wife's birthday is the same week as Mother's Day. Tough. Brutal. As a new...

Starting point is 00:04:53 Whoa! Is that thing fighting back? It's fucking got a mind of its own. Just pop the top out and hold it like a stick, Mike. You're a comic. This thing is just a heavy sandbag. Oh yeah. Give us a deadlift of it and see how strong it really is.

Starting point is 00:05:11 That should be good. Caught you looking at Francis' ass. No, never. Not even for a second. You homo. That was probably the part of my body I'm the most self-conscious about. Somehow Sass still got hard.

Starting point is 00:05:24 Don't worry. Is your ass? Well Sass is an anagram for ass, so that makes sense. His ass, man. Poking through those sweatpants, bro. And I'm bird watching, alright? You're looking at his ass, I'm looking at your bird. Understood, understood.

Starting point is 00:05:37 Circle of life. Hey Sass, did you work out today? See this is what I'm talking about. It just doesn't fucking want to cooperate. He just got a controller. Wrangler. You just gotta get her under control, tame it. It just doesn't fucking want to cooperate. He just got to control her. Wrangle her. You just got to get her under control. Tame it. It's like how to tame a dragon.

Starting point is 00:05:50 No, I didn't go to the gym today. I just need to get it to settle. There we go. Now she's calmed down. I had to dry her out a little bit. You didn't hit the gym? No, I didn't. You didn't go to the gym You didn't hit the gym? No, I didn't. You didn't go to the gym today?

Starting point is 00:06:06 No. You did? No, I didn't. No. How about you? I hit it. Hit it hard. Nice. What'd you hit?

Starting point is 00:06:12 I did a descending and then ascending ladder of pull-ups. How does that work? 10, eight, six, four, two, four, six, eight, 10. Oh my God. So when you get down to two and a half rest in between sets. When you get down to two, you, six, eight, 10. Oh my God. So when you get down to two and a half, rest in between sets. When you get down to two, you throw on the chains on? No. No?

Starting point is 00:06:31 I do do weighted pull-ups. Yeah, what do you use? I'll use a 35 pound kettlebell. Ah, that's smart. It would be tough for me to go three, two, one, two, three. Yeah, I need to go 10, one, one, two, three. Yeah. I need to go ten, one, one, one, ten. Like you're doing binary code. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:51 How quickly can you guys do the math of how many pull-ups I did? What did you do? You did... Ten, eight, six, four, two, four, six, eight, ten. Ten, eight, six... Twenty plus 16, 36, plus 12. Well, because you guys are talking a lot. I'm chocked it's over. Uh, 48 10 8 6 2 times 2 is 50 58 yeah stupid bitch well

Starting point is 00:07:14 I mean it's it's not as hard if I was going to fight like I was yelling it out every time you say you would have did it well I can't concentrate when I have you know you yelling different I heard you I heard you yapping in my ear. Oh, I'm not going to be able to get it now because it's so hard to be distracted. It's immediately a lot easier for you, and I waved the white flag immediately. Yeah, because you knew you couldn't do it.

Starting point is 00:07:35 No, I had it. I told Francis. I already told him my tactic. Instead of the math rejecting you, you tried to reject the math. Oh, that's the one. I needed to figure out which one stops it from going this Oh, that's the one. I needed to figure out which one stops it from going this way. And it's this. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:49 Ready, tidy. Oh. It's pretty simple. Now we're good. I've tried every one of these things. I don't know. There's so many knobs. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:58 A lot of them just don't tighten is the problem. Yeah. It's just a never-ending tighten. You know what I was wondering today? What happened to terrorism? Where did it go? Other countries. Really?

Starting point is 00:08:11 I mean, they were that stretch. They were hidden in other countries. They were, well, the ISIS was the last real stretch where they were just terrorizing like Paris and, or they were, they were, they were. Al-Qaeda was hitting, they hit London, they hit Madrid, they hit Turkey, I think. Once they hit Ariana Grande, we were like,

Starting point is 00:08:31 enough is enough. That was ISIS, right? I guess, I don't know. I think that was ISIS. I don't think Al-Qaeda's attacked. Oh, and then they moved, yeah, and then, no, no, cause then ISIS did the, they would take the cars and drive them through.

Starting point is 00:08:43 Yeah. Crowds of people. Look at that in Louisiana. Was that ISIS? No, I don't think that was ISIS. Then they found out that straight white males were the real terrorists. Well that was what they found out. That was fucking us the entire time. Yeah. I think that was the death of terrorism. That Osama bin Laden shaved his beard and he was a Chad. Yeah. He was just a white dude. He unwrapped his turban and he had a side part

Starting point is 00:09:08 of blonde Ken hair. He looked just like you. They just, those guys realized they couldn't compete with us. Yeah. Pretty much, yeah. Because they were too, they had really strict religious beliefs, whereas we were unencumbered. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, it's hard to...

Starting point is 00:09:23 We were just horny and sexually repressed. Yeah. It's hard to compete with the white man who has nothing to lose. Oh, you have to pray five times a day? I'm gonna go terrorize. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, enjoy washing your feet.

Starting point is 00:09:35 You have all of Ramadan to observe? I'll do whatever I want. Yeah, tough to engage in terror when you are hungry. Yeah. For an entire month. I don't think that they... Maybe they haven't realized that they stopped, so maybe it's best that we not dangle it over their head

Starting point is 00:09:51 that they haven't fucking touched us in a minute. I'm not trying to wake a sleeping baby here. And by that I mean kick the hornet's nest of terrorism. I'm just wondering how, when we had Al-Qaeda, right? We beat Al-Qaeda, and then ISIS sprang up, and you'd think, okay, well, if maybe, if we've beaten ISIS, which I don't know if we have... I don't even know if ISIS exists anymore, do they?

Starting point is 00:10:15 But that's what I'm saying. So then where's the... Where is the return of the Jedi of ISIS? Understood. Well, you gotta think, when Al-Qaeda kind of phased out in what, 2012, 11? Around that time, took a couple years for ISIS to step in and say, we're gonna shake things up ourselves. You know? ISIS was sort of around, yeah, it was around the time

Starting point is 00:10:39 of the Arab Spring, I remember that. Yes. Which was 2011. Are you just talking about domestic terrorism? He's talking worldwide, I think. Yeah, I'm talking, you know, your good old fashioned suicide bomber. You think October 6th was an act of terrorism?

Starting point is 00:10:56 Oh yeah, that's fair, yeah, okay. That's a good point. October 6th? Oh yeah, fuck me. I was like, January 6th was an act of terrorism? Yeah, that was definitely terrorism. You see, Ashley Babbitt's family got five mil from the government. No. The lady who got shot. That was her name, Ashley Babbitt, right?

Starting point is 00:11:23 The lady who climbed through the window. Oh, she got five million dollars? Her family got five, at least five million dollars for a wrongful death. No way. Really? Did she die? Is that true?

Starting point is 00:11:33 Yeah. She died. Ashley Babbitt, five million dollars. Five million's not that high for death. Five million puts you in the 1% of Americans. Yeah, but for in exchange for death. Well, her family came up. And I guess, but they probably wish that she didn't die.

Starting point is 00:11:51 Ten million. Now we're talking. Her family bought an escalator in a new McMansion. Her family came up real fast. I saw a guy on TikTok being like, I used to think that five million dollars was enough to be set Life, but it's actually I think it's now. I think it's eight million dollars. No, he's wrong. What do you think it is? Well, I mean it's like, you know if he if he thought five then how is eight I

Starting point is 00:12:21 Don't understand the problem with the whole like getting enough money to like, what are you hoping? Are you hoping that like, you're gonna, the day you die, you're going to be like in our last $30, let's spend it. I'll have a cheeseburger. You're probably going to end with something in the bank. Yeah. You take a little something home for yourself. You sell a nice cocktail. Cock yourself, sweetheart. Yeah, yeah. Buy yourself a nice cocktail. Wow.

Starting point is 00:12:46 Cocktails are $70 now, sir. Just the exact change for those. Let me get one last squeeze of your booty. Like five mil is plenty of money. Yeah, I think for me it's a question of how much interest can you generate and live on comfortably? I think if you're trying to be one of those dudes, like the people that are super like money oriented like that, the people that are like, you know, like me and my boy, Dubai by 2026, like me and my whole team's moving out there, like shit like that, like five million, like those guys, they're never going to be happy with the amount of money that they have.

Starting point is 00:13:23 Yeah, because they're surrounding themselves with people who have more or pretend to have more money. Also your life expenses if you wanna live a lifestyle of someone who has 15 houses and 20 Bugattis. It's like, yeah, you're probably gonna have to work forever unless you like strike gold. And someone's like, oh, that's last year's Bugatti. Yeah, exactly. And you have to live in shame

Starting point is 00:13:43 because you don't have the latest Bugatti Yeah, what are you gonna do when the when the money runs up? Six nine Poor fucking Takashi. What happened to him? I mean he just ran out of money. He can't buy new Bugatti's anymore Really? He's totally out. Yeah, I think so or Bobby Schmurder was He's out of money too. Schmurder's out of cash. I can't be right. Doesn't that break your fucking heart? There's no way that Schmurder's out of cash. Schmurder's out of cash. That can't be right. Doesn't that break your fucking heart? There's no way that Schmurd is out of cash. Schmurd is out of cash, Tay-K got,

Starting point is 00:14:08 how much time did Tay-K get? I think Tay-K just got a big ass sentence. Tay-K I think got, did he not get life? He might have got 55 years. 55 to life or just 55? He might get out on parole. We might get some new Tay-K before the year's over. Good behavior when he's 71 years old.

Starting point is 00:14:26 Yeah. I don't understand this Ashley Babbitt thing. Why? You don't think what you're saying? Well, because the officer who shot her was cleared of any wrongdoing. And the Department of Justice determined that there was no wrongdoing by police in the settlement.

Starting point is 00:14:43 So I'm not sure, I'm not sure if- Why it was wrongful? I don't know. Because any human life being lost is too many. That's kind of strange. Truth. I don't want to get into it.

Starting point is 00:14:57 I don't want to get into that. Just get into it. The politics of that, I mean that's nuts. Yeah, why not? I don't know, man. Seems like a pretty quick way to bring down ISIS on our backs. That's probably why ISIS was watching us, and they're like, whoa, we don't even want any parts of that.

Starting point is 00:15:15 Yeah, we can't compete with all those white male terrorists. Yeah. Yeah. Fun shit. Incredibly fun shit. I'm pretty convinced that most white men that I see are terrorists. Like anytime I see like a white dude solo, you gotta like... That probably makes me a little bit more uncomfortable than any other race. Did you see Gary Vee on a podcast recently? He was like, your grandchildren, to the guy, to the podcaster, he was like, your grandchildren will marry an AI robot. No, I didn't see that.

Starting point is 00:15:47 Definitively. Like your grandchild is going to marry an AI robot. Where the fuck is that guy getting his money from? He started a wine kind of company of some kind. But wasn't it like decades ago? But now he has VaynerMedia, he has VaynerSports, his NFP company is still selling. Those things can't be making any money. Why wouldn't they be?

Starting point is 00:16:09 Because who's, like those are like programs, right? He's a VC guy. He invests in a ton of stuff with the money he presumably made from his big wine sale or wine company thing. He has a big ass office. We went to his office. What, he invents like white wine? Was he the first?

Starting point is 00:16:24 No, I think it was like a cataloging. We have radios in. We're looking for a third. Picture this. White. White wine, but with bubbles in it. I call it champagne. The fuck? That would be awesome.

Starting point is 00:16:38 Just a little fun fact, Gary V invented white wine. Oh, where'd he get his money from? Oh, for the invention of white wine, of course. It was a wine club. He was a wine critic. Ah. And he expanded his family's wine business. Ah, there it is, Nepo.

Starting point is 00:16:55 Nepo baby in the wine community. It always comes back to that. And how he's given motivational speeches. I think that he was, wasn't he an immigrant? Doesn't he say that he was an immigrant? It doesn't matter if you're an immigrant if your family is a wine company That's making hundreds or millions of dollars. They tend to be the best at that Yeah, also immigrants always come to the you like if you're an immigrant making it to the u.s. You probably got fucking cash

Starting point is 00:17:17 Yeah, you can get out especially if they're buying that especially today if you're buying that fucking Trump gold card Big time. What is he doing a golden ticket like Willy? Yeah, it's five million bucks. What for citizenship? Yeah Really or you can go the long way still but if you have enough money, you can just buy it I guess pass like a Disney world which feels like a mistake because like couldn't Osama bin Laden hypothetically have no heat They're they're gone. He's dead. I know but I'm thinking like they went once the new guy comes up Well, he's supposedly dead. we have no idea, but. No, no, he's actually dead now. We don't know.

Starting point is 00:17:51 Didn't you hear that those people went down in that submarine to try to find a body in the Indian Ocean and they went so deep that it exploded? Because as it turned out, they got to his body and he had one last suicide vest on. He had a little mini remote control plane that he flew into the submarine. Yeah He had he etched into his chest. Catch me if you can. Yeah Exploded didn't they like didn't they just like drop him in the they dropped him in the ocean

Starting point is 00:18:18 They dropped him in the ocean because they did not want anyone to they didn't want to create a shrine to him They don't want to be anyone to be able to find his body That feels like was that a last-minute decision or was that the plan the whole time grab the body dump it in the ocean They did not want anyone to, they didn't want to create a shrine to him. They didn't want anyone to be able to find his body. That feels like, was that a last minute decision? Or was that the plan the whole time? Grab the body, dump it in the ocean? They were debating it. They were debating it.

Starting point is 00:18:32 That was, I think Obama had a hand in that. Seems like that one was probably debated. The ocean, really? Right? Right. What do you mean? Maybe just like hold him in a cell somewhere. He's dead.

Starting point is 00:18:46 They killed him in the house. Bring his body into like a secret layer. What do you mean hold him in a cell? The ocean just feels a little odd, doesn't it? No, actually, when they explain it, it made a lot of sense to me. Yeah, but it's like, don't you think the government, the CIA would have a better way of getting rid of a body

Starting point is 00:19:01 than just the ocean? They dumped him sort of- body than just in the ocean. They dumped him sort of- Dump him in the mash. That's what they're saying on the fucking, on the Blackhawk. Dump him in the mash. No, he was in a, he was on an aircraft carrier. It just seems like an insanely silly way to like,

Starting point is 00:19:21 to bury one of the most evil people ever. Silly. Yeah. Well, if you like, what did they do? They hovered over the ocean. No, he was on an aircraft carrier and they like put rocks in his pockets and sent him. That's insane.

Starting point is 00:19:37 But if they buried him, like people still search for the grave of Genghis Khan. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So people, if they put him anywhere on land, then people would go to that place to worship him as a martyr. They should have just melted him down cremated them. Then we would have had to fly like fly planes into wherever he was buried. True. What if they put him like below like the Hoover Dam or something like one of those transformers fucking you see transformers under when you know how they have the base under the Hoover Dam and Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox are trying to put them in one of those

Starting point is 00:20:12 places just bury him in a fucking cell like a little tiny mini cell Shia LaBeouf Osama bin Laden it's kind of like the same similar you know it could be then he's actually related yeah Yeah, Daniel Rimes. There's almost, to your point, if they say, yeah, we got rid of his body, but they don't say, they don't tell anyone where. Yeah. At all. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:35 Because it did occur to me that someone, when you hear that statistic about atoms, where if you scooped up a cup of water from the Atlantic Ocean or something. Yes, that's in that book, The Body, by Bill Bryson. Like, you drank every one of your ancestors, and you breathed every molecule of air that your ancestors ever breathed. Yeah, something like there's so many atoms in that cup

Starting point is 00:21:00 that if you threw it back in the ocean, you'd get another cup of it somewhere on the other side of the world and make something like that. That makes sense. Well, the point being, you could go to the shore of the Indian Ocean and theoretically worship the body of water in which Osama bin Laden was sunk.

Starting point is 00:21:24 Yeah, that's where Laden was sunk. Yeah. That's where they did it? Yeah. Interesting. Off of an aircraft carrier. Interesting. And also you don't know that it was him. They could have pulled a switcheroo at the last second

Starting point is 00:21:35 and a Marine might have brought him home and have him like stuffed in his basement. Exactly. Imagine, I got a man cave. I gotta say, Victor Wembenyama looks a lot like Osama and almost sounds like him too. Yeah, wow. Maybe he was the spawn of Osama. Similar height, you know.

Starting point is 00:21:54 Similar, yeah. How would you feel about that if you feed your body? Say one of your best friends growing up became a Navy SEAL and he killed Bin Laden and you still keep in touch with him and say maybe he still lives in Maine and you go back home you go to his house like check this out and you go into his like man cave area and he's got like these the deer and the whatever the fuck that is and then he's just got bin Laden's head just mounted to the wall and he's like, this is... His full naked body with like a stick up his ass. His mouth is open. Yeah. With a dildo inside of it.

Starting point is 00:22:27 And he's like, this is the real one. This is actually him. Touch it. Go ahead, touch his face. Would you tell anybody or would you keep that secret? Would you dap up your boy? Would you be like... If he said, don't tell anyone, maybe I wouldn't, but I probably would.

Starting point is 00:22:40 You definitely, you'd have to. Be like, dude, I stuck a finger inside of bin Laden's mouth He has like a bottle opener inside his mouth Way down upon the body banks of the river He's a season is like one of those I'm just picturing one of those psychic machines. Yeah. You're like, like in big the holder group straight opening his eyes. It's like a red light coming out of his mouth. Have you seen the movie big?

Starting point is 00:23:20 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would respect that. Yeah, yeah, yeah That would be that's what they should have done like what do they do with other people like that Spotty's like what do they do? I know Saddam Hussein. He was hung him Well, that was because they had him. Yeah Iraqis But didn't he say like fuck you is to somebody to like a journalist on his way out or something I got that something cheeky. He was mouthy. That was another video that I watched He said something cheeky. He was mouthy. That was another video that I watched when I was very young.

Starting point is 00:23:46 But they don't show it. They don't show him dying. Gaddafi? What did they do to Gaddafi? I don't know. What did they do to like Hitler? What did they do with his body? Hitler killed himself. Yeah, but what did they do with the body? I don't know. I don't know. That's a good question. You know that there were some good old boys from Bastone fucking his corpse.

Starting point is 00:24:03 Yeah. You know they skull fucked his corpse at Bastone. Like, I feel like they probably kept it, right? I don't know. Brought it to a lab somewhere, examined his brain. Probably maybe not. It could be that he's just in an unmarked grave. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:19 You know what I mean? Buried in a landfill. Imagine just next to your grandfather. You've no idea. We brought some flowers for the guys, the other guys, no one ever has given them love. They die every time we set them down. There's a darkness around it.

Starting point is 00:24:35 They light on fire. They can bust. Just the angry German specter drifts from the ground. I got a fucking new concoct this weekend. I saw that yeah, so sick. It was pretty first one first one I've only had two you've never had one you wish you've never had one okay. Tell us about it Who are you with who's a witness? My buddies Nate and mad and Bo was in the discord, but he wasn't on the game. He lagged out of the game

Starting point is 00:25:09 How'd that work? He lagged out of the game And then he was like or he got kicked for inactivity because he wasn't moving and then I was like I should pull us And Beau was like now I got to make dinner you guys can play this one out And then I got a we were playing demolition, which is a multiplayer game mode where you pretty much, there's two sites that you have to plant a bomb at and there's like unlimited lives. You just have to get the bomb off

Starting point is 00:25:32 and make sure the other team doesn't plant it. And it's a lot of like spawn trapping. And I think I was on a 16 kill streak when the round ended, but then I was like, all right, I'm on 16 and I had to get 14 more. And then I think the first minute or two minutes of the second round, I don't think I shot my gun because I was so scared to die.

Starting point is 00:25:52 And then I went out and then I got it. And when I got it, I was like. You started the second round, you had 16 kills and you needed 14 more. I needed 14 more. So I was just hiding underground hoping they would come to me and then I was like they're not coming so I had to push out back to their spawn and I mean at that point the rest is history but I was so oh my god dude. But even to

Starting point is 00:26:15 get a 14 kill streak is impressive. I've gotten like 18 a couple times but I've never gotten the nuke. Which is 30. 30 without dying. It's cray. Perfect game. That's Nolan Ryan shit. It's insane. 43 or 46 and 2 I think was the ending record. Kill record. Wow.

Starting point is 00:26:32 Is that your best, that's your best ever? Yeah definitely. It was, it was insane. Dude I was having a, I was like on the verge of a full on panic attack while I was on like 25 kills. And I had to like tell myself, I'd be like, you gotta rise to the occasion. I'm never gonna get it again.

Starting point is 00:26:48 What were your boys saying to you? I was silent. They weren't saying it. They were just like, You don't talk to a guy in the middle of a perfect game. Oh, it's like a picture and like he's in the dugout and nobody's even. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:56 They would like give me some support. We knew what was happening, but we were talking. Texting on the side. We were talking. Probably in the discord being like, Yeah, that was why Bo stepped away. Because he was so excited. And so we were were talking. Texting on the side. We were talking. Probably in the discord being like, yo, he's talking to Bill. Yeah, that was why Bo stepped away, because he was so excited. And so we were all talking.

Starting point is 00:27:08 Because he probably never said what he had for dinner. Leave him alone. Yeah. It was a great feeling. When we finished, dude, my hands were like this. And I couldn't get them to stop for like 10 minutes. Did you step outside? Did you give a fist pump?

Starting point is 00:27:24 Did you utter anything? Yeah. What did you say? I was screaming. Did you step outside? Like did you like give a fist pump or like did you utter anything? Yeah, what'd you say? I'm screaming. What would you say? I said I got it We were we were so fucking pumped. Just give us a reenactment. I could play you the audio. I have the audio Yeah, I need to hear the audio. My mic cut out Why you find that audio I have to play this audio of Gary Vee. I have the video too. What's your conviction? What's your conviction level on that? 100%. They're gonna marry an AI? Your grandchild is going to marry an AI human. I believe a robot that is fully AI will marry a human and vice versa for real in your lifetime.

Starting point is 00:28:05 And when you say an AI, does that mean like a physical body of a robot? So you're saying that the bodies will get so good that it will look like- Yes, yes. My intuition is that in 20 years, because the AI can power the robot and because of where we're going and what's going on,

Starting point is 00:28:19 that that's fully fucking AI. You think it will be non-exclusive relationships? Actually, it looks funny, I've thought about this. I actually think AI robots may save marriages just real couples introduced. I mean just viewing out of his ass better to introduce an AI robot that may help whatever sexual or emotional things are going on in that relationship to Become an offsetting contributor or grandkids my just go fuck your robot Am I crazy for being like that kind of sounds good? Just kind of on, I think that sounds awesome.

Starting point is 00:28:47 That sounds like he's kind of on the hunt. Yeah, no, it's definitely, it sounds good, but I think people have been saying that for a while. If like, my wife was like, I saw that you didn't do the dishes, and you're like, you know what, you're right. Charlie. Yeah, that would be sick.

Starting point is 00:29:01 Hit the dishes. Yeah. Dishes are done. It would definitely become a thing of like modern slavery slavery and people would be like they actually have feelings Yeah, well it also like this this completely discounts a woman's ability to be jealous like you think just cuz you're like fucking your robot side piece that your wife isn't gonna be like Go fuck her Yeah, they'd probably be like,

Starting point is 00:29:26 why are you hanging out with the computer generated perfect person and not me? Yeah, but let's be honest. Why are you hanging out with the robot that has a gorilla's vagina? Yes. Yes. That's hanging on like a special needs kid to a nerd rope.

Starting point is 00:29:48 Yeah, that's fucking, it's vicious. But also, I don't know, I guess utopian. But have you seen that AI will build their own communities when they're not being put to work? They already have hobbies. AI's will build on the side whenever they're not being forced to do stuff. For fat slob, middle American, just gross Neanderthals to think that they're just going to have Halle Berry robots that are dying to marry them like those robots will be like you're fucking gross Oh, yeah, hmm. You'll have to get a fat robot Robot my 600 pound robot. Yeah, imagine your AI robots eating all the food at the house

Starting point is 00:30:42 It's the sixth time I've gone to the store this week. Yeah. Yeah. You don't cook shit. Honey, get me some more pizza. I ate all the tortilla chips. Getting home from work and finding out your fucking AI robot crushed all the diet cokes.

Starting point is 00:31:04 Not even one. Don't leave cokes. I WON! Don't leave me one! I got those for me! If you had wanted some you should have told me to get them while I was at the store! That would be tough. Let's hear the video of the nuke. There's really not much to hear, it's just me yelling, let's fucking go. Well that's all I wanted to hear.

Starting point is 00:31:27 I almost died right at the end, which was... This was the second... I almost died right there. Alright, got one, got one. Got it, got it, let's fucking go! Hahaha! That's 30? What? That's 30? Yeah, that's 30. got it got it let's fucking go that's 30? what? that's 30? yeah that's 30. wait keep going no yeah there's a reason I didn't post the video what do you say after this? no I just sound gay as fuck and I also you can like hear the panic in my voice that's what we want to hear

Starting point is 00:32:01 yeah that's nice it's like I did it I did it! it was a little Jason Tatum like we did it. Anything is possible. It was. It was a great moment. It was a it honestly kind of ruined call of duty for the day for me though for that day. Yeah, because you're not going to once I was done. I was like, what's the point of continuing and for that day. Yeah, cause you're not gonna- Once I was done I was like, well then what's the point of continuing?

Starting point is 00:32:27 And Caesar wept. Yeah, exactly. Yes. He had conquered all the worlds. Wait, Caesar wept? No. Alexander. Alexander wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.

Starting point is 00:32:42 You're absolutely right. interwebbed, for there were no more worlds to conquer. You're absolutely right. All right. It's time for Mountain Dew. Do the dew. Mountain Dew. Do you do the dew. All right.

Starting point is 00:33:04 Let's talk about Mountain Dew. Hanging with your friends during warm weather, starting off golf season, grab a dew while you're on the course, heading out on the boat to the river to go fishing. I'm going to be doing that and you know what I'm going to bring? When I go fishing, this is what I do. I go, Rod, real, do. Where is my do? Because I know I'm going to get thirsty on the water and I know I'm going to need a do.

Starting point is 00:33:35 Baseball season, going to the ballpark with friends, grabbing a dog and a Mountain Dew. NBA, NHL playoffs are here, getting together to watch the games, have some Mountain Dew. Do the Dew. Nothing goes better with anything than hanging out with your friends and having a nice sip of that refreshing, citrusy kick of Mountain Dew. I like Mountain Dew, we all love Mountain Dew.

Starting point is 00:33:59 Look, I'm a big fan of the Baja Blast, I'm a big fan of the Dye of Mountain Dew, the original code red, you name it, I've had it. I love it. Every color under the rainbow, I just love the colors. I just love the colors and I love that taste, that sweet, refreshing taste. Grab a Dew in the new packaging

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Starting point is 00:36:02 Christmas they fit my body so well yeah you got a... quince sweater on your first a quince man. My mom actually got me some quince sweaters for this past Christmas. They fit my body so well. Yeah, you've been looking good. And then I found out that they're gonna be a sponsor of ours and I have never been so excited for a marriage of something that I'm already using and something that's gonna be, you know, beneficial to the listener,

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Starting point is 00:37:37 cooling aftershave balm they have an aftershave moisturizer right here as well this is nice I mean I'm not sure if you I have the cooling aftershave balm. They have an aftershave moisturizer right here as well. This is nice. I mean, they've got some really nice colognes, Oda Toilette. A nice, this is a face and beard cooling exfoliant. Their scents are amazing.

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Starting point is 00:39:23 Cents. It's good stuff, man. I just gave this a little spritz. Oh my God. I feel like I'm in a high-end clubhouse of a really nice golf club. Yeah, there you go. I just spritzed myself after playing 18, then a little stuff on the 19, and I had a nice conversation in the shower with someone richer than me.

Starting point is 00:39:45 And I didn't even glance downwards. No. You were wearing a towel, but he wasn't. And he kept the convo going because he thought you smelt so good. Because it's the Stetson. Check out the Stetson. I am currently fourth on the wait list for the member guest. And I need a couple people to drop out.

Starting point is 00:40:04 So who can we knock off? I feel like this would be pretty easy. We need a couple people to drop. And there are three people ahead of me on the wait list, and I know for a fact that... at least one of them will play. Call them out by name. But I... and I think the other one will play,

Starting point is 00:40:21 but there's a chance that the third guy ahead of me on the wait list will not. Because a lot of people make plans, assuming they're not going to be in. Yeah. When is it? Not this weekend, but the following weekend. The 30th? Yeah. Where is it?

Starting point is 00:40:36 New Jersey. So I think that you've got to just go that day. Like there has to be somebody the day of... That's what always happens. That's what always happens. You just gotta kind of hang out and just like, yeah. Drift by the door, loiter. It's kind of post up in front. It's a great tournament.

Starting point is 00:40:54 Jay and Simon. So good. Have you done it before? Yeah. It was fun? It's the most fun. Yeah, that would be sick. The best day of the year to harass a car girl. Oh, of course.

Starting point is 00:41:03 This is a walking only course. Your parents let you out here all by yourself. Those videos are insane, dude. People harassing car girls? Not even harassing, just like old dudes trying to flirt with you. Harassing. In like creepy ways.

Starting point is 00:41:17 Harassing. Yeah, but it's like they don't even, the old guys don't even realize what they're saying is so creepy. Yeah, but they're harassed. And like half the time they're like harassing to like show off to their buddies. Oh, yeah. It's honestly like those videos are tough to watch because like you

Starting point is 00:41:31 clearly have no those dudes have no idea they're being they're being perverts for the love of the game. You remind me of my daughter. The one I always wanted to fuck. Half of those videos are like the girl pulls up and then you just see like the camera. It's just like four like it'll be like one skinny dude and four fat three fat dudes just like slowly approaching the cart and you're like God imagine seeing like someone you know on that video. Your dad or uncle. Yeah I'll just do the Modelo. Thanks. Here's a five and an extra five.

Starting point is 00:42:05 Here's 20 bucks for that. Now what does this 20 bucks get me? Yeah, you said you're 17? Yeah, how about now? Yeah, what if I add a one to that? Uh. So perverse. Those videos are tough.

Starting point is 00:42:22 It's honestly becoming a thing where like, it seems like now more than ever, you really can't get away with doing anything dumb and out in person. I don't even think it's that. I mean, I think it goes beyond that. I think that people are blowing up their like dates.

Starting point is 00:42:44 Oh, 100%. People are reviewing dates online and naming the people. Yeah, no, that's definitely, that's a real thing. What do you mean dates? Like they'll go on a date with a dude. You go on a date with a normal person, just a regular guy, whatever, or I don't know if guys are doing it,

Starting point is 00:42:58 I'm sure they are too, but I know for a fact there are, there's apps where women go on them. Oh, really? Yeah. Like that always sunny episode, the rating one, have you ever seen that? That's one of the funniest, it's probably my favorite episode.

Starting point is 00:43:13 Yeah, it's exactly like that. So you can do like, is it like a star rating? It's the theory behind though, at least the app that I heard about, the theory behind it was to alert women if they might end up be scheduled on a date with a guy who's abusive or a problem or whatever. Or his dick's not as big as you want it to be.

Starting point is 00:43:34 Well, that's what it turned into very quickly. It just turned into like, what's the story with this guy? He'll look at you too long, you know? Like he, whatever, he won't pay for dinner, or like, he talked about his mom too much, whatever. It just, any... He has more of a hurricane than a tornado motion with his tongue.

Starting point is 00:43:53 Yeah. He's going back and forth. And it just, then it spawns this thing. And privacy's dead, is really what it comes down to. I have a very good friend, one of my better friends. I mean, this is a different thing, but he hooked up with this weekend, he hooked up with a girl

Starting point is 00:44:13 who's a pretty big media personality. Her name's Hallie Batshelder, you ever heard of this person? Hmm, no, I don't think so. She's sort of in the Alex Cooper kind of world. What does she look like? Because it sounds familiar. Girl, teeth, nose. She's got, I think, blondish hair.

Starting point is 00:44:32 I don't know if I know her. I don't know, when you said it was in the Alex Cooper world, there was one person that I was thinking of. Alex Earl? Oh, no. Not her. No, just some person that always is on Instagram. I don't know who it was. I was thinking of somebody.

Starting point is 00:44:46 It could well be this person. It could. We told no defining characteristics. She's on... I said she had a chin and you were like, no, not her. I said she had teeth and you're like, oh, I'm thinking of a gummy woman. So what happened with Hallie Batchelder? Batchelder, they hooked up this weekend. I'm not telling any tales out of school here because she has already made multiple TikToks announcing that and will review it, I think, on her podcast. Really? Which is what she does. That's her thing. So did he not know that going into the date?

Starting point is 00:45:24 He did. Oh. Well then you can't really? No, I don't. That's what I'm saying, it's a different thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But... What's his take on it? Does he feel violated or proud? He was laughing about it.

Starting point is 00:45:39 Well, I'm assuming he went in and kind of put it on a show, right? If you know you're gonna get reviewed, you kind of gotta pop out and show. Well, If you know it's, if you know you're going to get reviewed, you kind of got to bop out and show. Well, I don't, yeah, I don't know. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I didn't talk to him about it in depth. I had a moment.

Starting point is 00:45:53 I'm having dinner with him on Thursday. Oh, nice. Phil, fill us back in, because I'm very curious. We'll need a full dick report. Yeah. I think she'll do that. Well, we'll need to fuck them too. So she fucked them too?

Starting point is 00:46:02 Pussy program. Did they fuck? She said that they did she did that's her It's out and about out in the thing. It's kind of a weird gig It's a fine line there well like what a fucking Prostitution and not prostitution. Wait, why Going on a date with a dude just to fuck him and make content out of it? You can't say that she did it just to do that.

Starting point is 00:46:29 Well, if that's her thing, is I go on dates, I fuck them, and then I tell people they have a small dick. Well, I don't know that she's saying that, though. Yeah, I guess. She's just like an advanced weather woman. I thought you meant like she reviewed the dates. She's reviewing the fog. I don't know if it's like, here's the report card. Here's the story.

Starting point is 00:46:50 Yeah. I think everyone's got their thing. No, I think it really presents a problem like down the line, if like whoever she winds up with. Because that guy's gonna be able to listen to 300 episodes of like well that's the problem you kind of can't stop fucking unless she wants to change the she's got to do the Alex Cooper re-run here actually. This is my boy. Guys, I fucked this random.

Starting point is 00:47:27 Who did I get with last night? I'm scared. Winery. He owned the winery. I fucked this random. Who did I get with last night? Can you send us a crate? And he's in what?

Starting point is 00:47:38 And now she has a UTI. His name's Gary Vaynerchuk. Is she a robot? I don't know. I can't even watch this stuff. But yeah, she, she, uh, that's what she does. Well, nothing wrong with that. But no, yeah. Change your tune now. Yeah, I do. Big time. Why? Cause I don't feel like I, I, every time I shit on somebody who's, you know, like has a big following, I'm always like, was that worth it? But he's calling that lady a prostitute.

Starting point is 00:48:09 I don't know her. You know? Yeah, but you're joking. So I'm stepping back. You're joking though. Yeah, but I'm just saying for, you know, if she happens to stumble upon this and say, these guys called me a prostitute, now she'll get to the point where she finds out we take it back.

Starting point is 00:48:22 You think that she's not just going to watch a clip? Well, if someone clips it out now, then we have the insurance. To say, actually, if you kept listening, you would have known that they took that back. She said she's upstanding and that's a woman's right. Yeah, it's a woman's right to be able to judge any penis that she wraps herself around. But it is like the no privacy thing does. Like I feel like now more than ever

Starting point is 00:48:48 it's like going out in public. It's like you're always in the background of something. Yeah. Someone is always filming something and you're in it. Maybe it's just New York. Yeah. I mean it's crazy that we've it's as if everyone turned their own world into the Truman Show. Every post I see on Twitter, it'll just be like a photo of like a random couple. And I'll be like, the girl will be like hot and they'll be like an ugly dude

Starting point is 00:49:13 and the comments will be like, shrink the game. And it's like just a guy out to dinner with his girlfriend and someone's like zooming in from fucking 10 miles away. This is what I was talking about. I got so self-conscious eating my carrot cake at the airport that I was behind a pillar and I saw that she was laughing at me and I just went... ...

Starting point is 00:49:35 Just ate the rest of it, like, out of her view. Yeah, it's tough. The founding fathers just had no idea what they were signing everybody up for when they were like first amendment You could take pictures of anything. Oh, yeah, second amendment. You can carry like your musket with you Yeah, we fucked up. We need we need the terrorists to come back. I'll tell you what we need is we need no free speech We need restricted speech. We need the terrorists to come back and somehow have it be that like recording everything all the time

Starting point is 00:50:07 violates tenets of their faith and That's what they are waging their war against. I think that Saudi Arabia has it figured the fuck out. Why what do they do? I think they have no alcohol no free speech no freedom of religion. No freedom of the press I'll tell you what there's probably not a lot of people over there that are like, have like anxiety disorders and shit, they just stick to a schedule. They're like, it's just guys holding hands with each other. I wake up, I do this, I say the same thing every day because I'm not allowed to say anything else. Bro, I was in an Uber to the airport in Dallas

Starting point is 00:50:40 and it was early and I was exhausted. I knew I had to race back. I'm coming off the fucking nightmare flight that I had down there. And I know I have to race back in order to get here to record, and I have a tough day ahead of me and all this. And we went under an overpass, and there was a homeless man sitting beneath the overpass,

Starting point is 00:51:00 just sitting, watching the cars go by. And there was a serious moment where I thought, I wish I could have that guy's life. That dude has not looked at his Google calendar in who knows how long. Google's making calendars. And thought, how the fuck am I gonna get through all of this? My Google calendar is my number one most anxiety

Starting point is 00:51:25 in using that. You gotta just stop putting certain shit on. Yeah, I didn't even download a Google calendar until like last week. And I was like, all this stuff has been on you. There's people who put stuff on your Google calendar. There's so much color on my Google calendar. And I don't know, I look at it and I just think,

Starting point is 00:51:40 every week I'm like, okay, got to bear down. We're almost there. We're almost to this thing. And then another week goes by and that week that I thought was gonna be nice and calm, filled. Filled. Filled with bullshit.

Starting point is 00:51:55 Yeah, I try to leave off certain shit. Like I've seen your calendar, you put on everything. Well, otherwise I forget it. Yeah, but like, like I'll put on weekends. I'll put on, like, do you put spots on your calendar? Of course. Oh, you shouldn't do that.

Starting point is 00:52:10 What the fuck? How are you, how are you remembering when you have spots? I just look every day. See, that's crazy. And also you get texts, you get reminders. I can't risk that. I can't risk the anxiety of missing something that I'm expected to get is worse. Well, I try to just, I usually know. Like I usually will just that. I can't risk the anxiety of missing something that I'm expected to get is worse.

Starting point is 00:52:26 I usually know. Tell me this. Like I usually will just look and I'll know for the week. But you forget stuff. Yeah, but not like, like, like if it's something like spots or the podcast, I don't put it on my schedule. Cause it's saying that I, things that I expect that I'm gonna have to do. I don't put the podcast

Starting point is 00:52:40 on my calendar. Yeah, but then it's like, I don't know, if you don't put spots in, you're just like, I probably am gonna have spots a lot of these days this week. Here's what I've got on my calendar for this week, right? Yeah, give me the, read it to me. I'll narrow it down for you. Tomorrow's my dad's 70th birthday,

Starting point is 00:52:52 so I wanna make sure that I- Off. Send him a nice message. We gotta trim the fat. We gotta trim, you can't be like a, you can't be a hoarder here. I got spots. Then on Thursday, I have a ton of spots. I have- So you're running every spot individually.

Starting point is 00:53:09 Well, I put the spots that I have at the stand and then I have spots at the cellar. And then I have dinner with my buddy, the one who just had sex. Good for him. And then I have, I remind myself that I have to schedule my spots the next day for the seller. So you're gonna reminder, keep that one in?

Starting point is 00:53:29 I have Julio's birthday is on Friday. I wanna wish him happy birthday. Do you put people's birthdays in? Yeah. And then for the whole weekend, I'm going to DC to see my family to celebrate my dad's birthday with him. And also my place upstate is rented. So I have that down.

Starting point is 00:53:49 That's not terrible. No, it's not so bad. A lot of those are reminders. Well, yeah, but it's just stacked blue stuff that when I look at the whole month and take a sort of a bird's eye view, I think, well, I don't have any time to myself. Maybe you should get like a paper calendar

Starting point is 00:54:07 or a whiteboard one. That's not a bad idea. So you don't have to bring it around with you constantly. I don't hate that. The other, what's, you know what my second most, the app that gives me the second most anxiety is? The weather app. My credit card app. Ah, I never open it.

Starting point is 00:54:20 I open it all, every day. Yeah. Every single day I see- These are bad habits. About my balances. Hmm? Bad habits. Well, I just want to make sure that I'm not getting out of control.

Starting point is 00:54:32 I'm trying to keep it. And I know that I have whatever six days left now until the end of my billing cycle. So I'm just holding on for dear life. Yeah, I think you got to just like not check that shit as often. Calendar. I need to make sure I have enough money

Starting point is 00:54:45 in my checking account to cover my credit card balance. Yeah, so like in the morning, maybe on Monday, check the calendar, or no, check the calendar every morning. You know, you can check it, wake up. It's already written down. Read it, maybe take a photo if you need it. Well, probably not, you probably won't need that. Pretty sharp, good memory.

Starting point is 00:55:03 You're giving me a lot of credit for my memory. You read the calendar in the morning, you're gonna remember it. You're not gonna be like, well, I guess today was the day I had no spots. Oh no, it was the day I had six. Like that's never gonna happen. Yeah, but do you remember I told you

Starting point is 00:55:18 that I stood up my grandmother for dinner? Yeah. That was a nightmare. Yeah, you're a visual guy. Because I had planned a dinner with my 91 year old grandmother and I didn't put it in my calendar. Here's the thought. And I forgot about it. You send me the calendar, I'll start leaving visual cues

Starting point is 00:55:37 for you to pick up on throughout the day. So, you know, say today you have dinner with your grandmother, maybe I'll put out a nice warm chocolate chip So, you know, say it's the today you have dinner with your grandmother Maybe I'll put out a nice like a nice warm chocolate chip cookie on your desk in the morning Nice thing of pancakes that would be nice and then you'll think what does this remind me of grandma's house is grandma's recipe Shit did I I think I have dinner with grandma tonight That would be nice. No, that's genius. It's not a terrible way to remember. You get in here, you get in here, 645, seven. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:08 You whip up a fresh batch of pancakes that are steaming. It's gonna fuck my schedule up. You get some shut eye after the fact, but you've unfucked Francis. I'm willing to make sacrifices here. I'll leave sticky notes on the door of your apartment. Sticky notes? There's a, it remind me of Francis's organized

Starting point is 00:56:27 Yeah, I gotta get that cookie on his desk. That's actually a thing that people do. I've done that before I there's a yeah yeah, there's a scene in a diary of a wimpy kid book Where his dad comes in and he says why is your pillow on the floor? This is in the book, not the movie. He says, why is your pillow on the floor? And he's like, I threw it on the floor just so that I would remember

Starting point is 00:56:50 that I have to do my homework tomorrow. He has to remember something. And it's like, it is honestly a good way to remember things. So you wake up and you go, why the fuck is the pillow on the floor? And you go, oh, cause I have to do my homework. People would put their watch on the inside of their waist. Yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 00:57:01 Just cues like that. Why is my pillow on the floor? Cause I have six spots tonight. And then you go, fuck, that sucks. And my pillows on the floor, that double sucks. Damn. Something to think about. I like that, I don't hate that.

Starting point is 00:57:17 You basically, you've created a prison for yourself. I feel like I'm a prisoner of my own life. You also don't, something is, you don't stay up late at night. When I stay up late at night and I know, like when I open my eyes in the morning, I know it's going like, this is the shit I have to do today. Like I'm ready to go already.

Starting point is 00:57:34 Why does staying up help you do that? Cause I'll just, you know, I'll mosey on over to the calendar app, see what I got for the next day. Cause I'll be like, I do that, but I just do it earlier. I guess that makes sense. Sounds like you're not doing a but I just do it earlier. I guess that makes sense. Sounds like you're not doing a good enough job at it though. I'm not.

Starting point is 00:57:48 I'm trying to give you tips. So visual cues. I wanted to ask you both this. I actually have a question for both of you, which is, what are your goals in life? What is your big, do you have one big overarching goal? You can answer that however you want. No, I'm probably not.

Starting point is 00:58:07 I'm very curious about you, Ron. I think just like making stuff, creating stuff. I think finding work that I can get lost in while living like a fulfilling family life. I think those are the main goals. Great answer. It's a good answer. What about you here, Ball?

Starting point is 00:58:30 I don't know, I mean, career-wise, I would like to put out a special at some point that's good, that's really good. You know, that's really it. Whenever that is though, but that probably won't be for a while. Five, 10 years. Yeah, wow. What about, you know, life? that is though, but that probably won't be for a while. Five, 10 years. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:45 Wow. What about, you know, life? Is there a certain amount of money you hope to make someday or having kids or like any of that stuff? No, I don't know. I don't know if I'll have kids because it's like a travel so much. I don't want to have kids and then just not have to,

Starting point is 00:59:02 like then I'm just never there, you know, sure I Personally, I totally get what you're saying. And that's why one of my goals is to Find a way to control my life in my career such that I can scale back my travel to be around more for my kids Yeah, it makes sense. It's tough getting that point though Not really you're probably already there. Oh, I don't know if I'm there. I travel all the time. True. Travel constant.

Starting point is 00:59:30 Well, I guess yeah for Barstool. You travel a lot. And The Road. Yeah, but you have both of those. I was only thinking about The Road. Yeah. Do you think you guys think a lot of comedians have bad relationships with their kids? Yeah, definitely. Totally. Most.

Starting point is 00:59:45 Do you think any have good relationships with their kids? Yeah, definitely. Totally. Most. Do you think any have good relationships with their kids? Yeah, probably. The really successful ones. Like who? The ones that are multi-millionaires. It's probably a lot easier to have kids when your one show for the weekend is bringing home $10 million.

Starting point is 01:00:00 Yeah, right. Well, I think the thing that's kind of, I think the thing that's kind of inherent to comedians is like Dad's away again, but what he's doing the me a pony. Oh my god. It's okay that he's gone. I did want the pony. Dad's doing House of Comedy Plano again. He left me a pen. One of those refillable pens.

Starting point is 01:00:27 Good news guys. They consolidated Saturday shows. I'm coming home Saturday night. The club sees no reason to go on with the Saturday late show. Taking the red eye. Just so you know though, that means I'm sleeping all day Sunday. Do not come into the bedroom.

Starting point is 01:00:54 Yeah, so that's definitely a, you know. My goals have shifted. They've become, my goal, I have almost have like a goal for what my goals would be. Yeah. Which is that my goal for what I want my goal to be is that I want to learn to be at peace and happy with my life.

Starting point is 01:01:14 Because I have a great life. I have great things. I've achieved a lot of my goals. And yet I look at my calendar and as I've said, find myself wildly discontented. Yeah. Or anxious. Yeah. So just finding a way to be at peace and happy with what I've got would be a goal for me. And I'm actually getting better at it. It's good. I really have goals. But I think that's how the natives would get complacent and die. When they kill the buffalo and they're like,

Starting point is 01:01:46 I'm good with the buffalo I have. I don't need any more buffalo. I think there's something in the back of your mind that's like, I need another buffalo. I'm gonna keep on needing buffalo. Oh man, that sucks dude. I don't wanna keep wanting. But I think my point is you're hardwired to want.

Starting point is 01:02:03 Yeah, that's the problem with me is like I've... I have career goals, but financially it's like I'm done. I don't care about that. I've got the fastest Wi-Fi I could get already, so it's like... You have everything you want. Everything I ever... the only thing I really ever wanted was super fast Wi-Fi. I've said it... I've said this many times. And since you're not gonna have kids, like you literally just game. Like the biggest thing I wanted,

Starting point is 01:02:28 the biggest thing I, yeah, I mean, well, that's not, I don't want to go down that route. Sounds like it. I don't wanna replace children with video games. You want a PC, you want a PC though. Yeah, I'll get a PC eventually, but you know, like. And that is financial, that you've said that the reason you can't get a PC right now

Starting point is 01:02:44 is because it's too expensive. You can't get three PCs. Yeah. And you want a PC. Well, I could get a PC. It's just there's no reasoning for me to spend all that money right now when I have a perfectly modern, good condition console. Well you just got a nuke for the first time.

Starting point is 01:02:59 Nothing wrong at home. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. What if I told you that someone reached out to me and said that they would be willing to build you a PC? Were they gonna build it in my apartment or are they gonna send it built? Because those are two big differences.

Starting point is 01:03:13 I don't see them coming into your apartment to build the PC. If they're gonna send me a PC, I mean I'd yet gladly take a PC, why not? What if I told you that it was gonna cost $1,000 and that Ron and I were talking about buying it for you? Oh no, I'd say don't do that, it's a waste of money. I know that you have a birthday coming up.

Starting point is 01:03:31 No, almost exactly a year from now. Well then I know that you have Father's Day coming up and as your two dads, we would like to do that for you. No, that would be pointless, I appreciate it. Would that not make you happy? It would make me happy, but it's like genuinely there's no reason for me to have. Is there a gift that Rone and I could buy you that would make you happy?

Starting point is 01:03:52 No. What if we found there's like faster internet? There is Verizon. Fiber. Verizon's fiber optic. There you go. What would that do for you? Change everything.

Starting point is 01:04:02 There you go. What would that do for you? change everything I Didn't realize I didn't know that Verizon offer offered fiber until but I don't know if it's actual fiber Dude, there's so many you'd be putting the optic in fiber. There's Exactly. There's so many Fucking like I just found out about what it's called like dark or like something, some different type of internet that's even faster. I'll get you that internet, but I want, we have to make a deal, okay?

Starting point is 01:04:31 The deal is I'll get you that internet, but every once in a while I need to be able to come over to your house so that I can execute high volume trades. Yeah, I mean, you'd be able to use it. You could honestly just stand outside and it'd be fast enough I don't know if you've read flash you have to get in the area. Have you read flash boys now? I need to plug in I need to be hardwired. I understood understood so in the mornings maybe while you're sleeping in

Starting point is 01:04:58 He could do that yeah every millisecond counts on those trades that I'm hoping to execute Every millisecond counts on those trades that I'm hoping to execute. Yeah, Francis, what time would you say you had a bed on a weekend where you have shows? Like, so say Friday, you had the show Saturday. What time did you have a bed? I try to, as fast as I possibly can, but like probably that would be one.

Starting point is 01:05:19 Yeah. I can't get to bed. That's as early as, you know, crowd leaves. Yeah. Get out of the club at 12.20, take a 20 minute Uber home. What time do you wake up the next day? Eight.

Starting point is 01:05:32 Really? I can't sleep past eight. Even on the road? Yeah. That's crazy. I can't sleep later than that. Yeah. On the road, I can sleep long.

Starting point is 01:05:41 Well, that was why someone pointed out, which was very funny. That's why I was asking. It was so funny. You were like 4.30 show. I out, which was very funny. Someone made, that's why I was asking. It was so funny. You're like 4.30 show. I mean, you wake up and you're like, I only have a couple of hours. I played golf that day.

Starting point is 01:05:53 Yeah, that's why I was asking. I played golf that whole day. Yeah. Cause I think the thing that I also say is, when I say I wake up and I only have a couple of hours, I'm talking about when I get out of bed, I'll wake up at like 10 and then I'll lay in bed to like one.

Starting point is 01:06:08 Cause I'll be like, I have nothing else to do. What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm just on my phone. Gooning. Watching YouTube videos. Gooning. No.

Starting point is 01:06:16 Yeah. I haven't gooned in months. That's a lie. I don't goon. That's fucking, why are you lying? I've been jelking quite often. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Jel fucking, why are you lying? I've been jelking quite often. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha for three hours every morning and you're not not every morning only when I'm on the road because you're in a hotel in the Middle of nowhere. There's nothing else to do except for the goon. There is stuff to do that depends on where you are

Starting point is 01:06:51 And I I got to a point where I was like if I don't do things when I'm on the road during the day Then I feel that my weekend has been taken from yeah You got to do shit during the day and so that's why I go to I like going to Civil War museums or playing golf or going swimming in a body of water nearby. I like doing that a lot. That's a good one. You do that often? Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 01:07:12 That's a good one. Have you seen the new phenomena where professors are going to beer halls and giving lectures on like World War II and such? Oh, that's cool. That's very- So you can have your beers, but you also learn about- It's like the beer hall putch. Yeah, the putch. That's very, So you can have your beers, but you also learn about, It's like the beer hall, Putsch.

Starting point is 01:07:26 Yeah, the Putsch. Is that what, has that hat's pronounced? I don't know. The one with Hitler? Yeah. Where he tried to take over Germany and jailed. Oh, was that young Hitler? Yeah, they clowned him.

Starting point is 01:07:38 Got thrown in jail. It was a bad scene for Hitler. He tried to get up on the table and be like, Germany's now a Nazi party. And they were just like, no, it's not. I heard that he got up and he was like flossing too. He was like doing the backpack kid dance. I think he tried to, well, he tried to storm the beer hall, but it was like 1000 armed German soldiers and it was Hitler with like two Nazis. And they thought they were just going to roll through and be like, it's over. Right.

Starting point is 01:08:06 We now rule the land. I gotta get back on that book. That book's pretty interesting. The Rise and Fall. I think it's meant to be read over the span of like 30 years. Yeah, you're supposed to do it chronologically as it happens in Hitler's life. I think you're supposed to do it like you're supposed to just kind of get one fact and then go, that's my fact.

Starting point is 01:08:22 Yeah, then you go on your podcast. Exactly. It was built for podcasters to go and crack. go, that's my fact. Yeah, then you go on your podcast. Exactly. It was built for podcasters to go and crack. Hell yeah. Crack a little fact. All right, should we wrap it up? Can I show you the exercise I did today?

Starting point is 01:08:32 That's a lot to see. I think you'd like it, ready? Okay. Oh, when you did the, when you said you did the weighted pull-ups, do you use the belt? Yeah. I don't know why I never thought about the cat.

Starting point is 01:08:42 I don't do weighted pull-ups. I can't do regular pull-ups, so I don't do weighted ones. But when I see people do the weighted one, they always have the big 45 pound barbell plate. Yeah, and I'm always like, there's gotta be an easier way. I find the kettlebell to be easier because I can actually hold it with my legs,

Starting point is 01:08:59 which prevents it from swinging, which makes it easier for me. I've been doing a lot of reverse lat pull downs. Really? Yeah. Why? What are you working? Just- What are you fine tuning right now?

Starting point is 01:09:10 Well, reverse lat pull downs, just a shoulder press. Really? Think about it. Oh, I thought you meant you were going over the back of your head. So did I, or that his hands were turning around and he was like doing a- Oh, I like doing those.

Starting point is 01:09:23 Those are fun. Bicep lat pull down. So here's what I did today, ready? I took 35s. 35s. Okay. Why don't you get that mic on the floor? Oh, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:09:33 We'll narrate it. You say something. 35s. 35s. Curl, strict press. Curl, strict press. Down, down. Here, down on the ground, like a deadlift down.

Starting point is 01:09:43 Down on the ground like a deadlift down. Feet out, push up. And then I did a row and a row and then back up, curl up. I mean, you're red just from that. Sets of 10. Sets of 10. Four, four sets of 10.

Starting point is 01:10:00 And that was the full workout? Like, so you- No, no, I did the pull-ups and then I did that. And then I would, and I also, and, I did the pull ups and then I did that. And then I would and I also and then I did five minutes on the, uh, cow bike, the bike that has the fan, the cow bike. What? Uh, how long does that take? The first 35 minutes, the whole workout was 35 minutes and I stretched.

Starting point is 01:10:19 So you're like, you're like a get in, get out, make it effective kind of guy. I don't look at my phone in the gym. Yeah, you get in, you hang the chains. I put it on the floor face down, I have my playlist, and then I go, but then for the pull-ups, I was giving myself a minute and a half rest, so I turned on the timer for that.

Starting point is 01:10:34 I would watch that. And you still feel like you're a prisoner of your own mind? Mm-hmm. I feel better when I do work out. Not a prisoner of my mind, a prisoner of my life, but as I said, I'm getting better at that because I know I have a great life and I feel good about where my life is at right now. I love that. It's an impressive work. I hope you guys both reach your goals genuinely. I've reached all my goals. That's my problem. And I didn't reset them.

Starting point is 01:11:03 Yeah. I kind of had that issue too. Where then I had to just like. You guys are just too successful. Where I just had to rewrite it because all my goals were like do stand up comedy. And then I was like. Mine were more specific than that. But they were within stand up.

Starting point is 01:11:17 And. Yeah. And I get past to the seller. Yeah. Yeah. Play MSG, sell out. Forrest Hills. I don't need to play MSG, that's too big. I don't need to have that to consider myself successful. I don't even know if I want that.

Starting point is 01:11:32 Why? That's a lot. Because then I'm an arena comic and then I'm like away all the time. Not really, actually a lot less. I don't know, man. Depends on the kind of tours you do. You know how many messages you get when you're that successful? You know how much correspondence you have to deal with?

Starting point is 01:11:50 But you give everybody a piece of your time. Like everybody who reaches out to you, you respond back to them, which is, I think we've done it. That's exhausting for you. Like you make yourself too accessible to people. So if you're worried about the constant input of people who are like trying to access you, that's something that you could completely

Starting point is 01:12:10 control. Change my phone number. Everybody doesn't deserve like your time. You put everybody on an equal playing field and then open yourself up to everybody's problems, everybody's anxieties, and you probably wear them yourself. You gotta get another phone. You're not wrong. I do, yeah, I answer a lot of the DMs. Yeah. Get two phones. Imagine if you were an arena comic, just answering every DM, like talking to every person after the show.

Starting point is 01:12:37 People reach out and they're not doing well. And I wanna help if I can. Those people are doing great. Some of them are not. How do you, how do you know? Because they tell me and I can't imagine living with myself if I didn't do the most bare minimum thing, which is just write a couple paragraphs, paragraphs, specific to these people, which then hopefully helps them, you know,

Starting point is 01:13:05 step back from the proverbial. Well now people know that they can fucking squeeze paragraphs out of you. Everybody does this, and unfortunately I say this, and then people do DM me, and I don't get to all of them, and then they're like, you're a fucking liar. Because the problem is now if you look up the suicide hotline it comes up with Francis' phone number.

Starting point is 01:13:20 It has my number. Who can relate? Which is why they're about to put out a new fucking meme coin, suicide coin, under my account. Someone edited the Wikipedia. That'd be a funny prank. Just kidding. He pulled the rug and the chair. Double pull. Pulled the rug, kicked the chair. All right. Well, this was fun. I had a good time. Yeah, good episode. Well, we'll be back next week. Hope you guys all have a good Memorial Day weekend. Yeah, we'll be back on Monday or we back on Tuesday. See you guys then. Close was over, still, still underground. So I looked older, till you came around

Starting point is 01:14:27 I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting Before, before was I So, so then you listened Now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way

Starting point is 01:15:15 I was only falling one way Banished to your eyes Did you realize No one can take me alive I was only falling one way See it just a distant light Feel it fast forever bright Call it just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm Falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall Oh Did you Banished to your eyes

Starting point is 01:16:45 Did you realize No one could take me alive

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Son of a Boy Dad - My First Kiss | Son of a Boy Dad #303

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Pet Camera - EBO Air 2

Son of a Boy Dad - My First Kiss | Son of a Boy Dad #303

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.