Son of a Boy Dad - Nectar Collectors | Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. #121

Episode Date: June 27, 2023

Nectar Collectors | Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. #121 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSports Ads: Hellofresh - Go to https://barstool.link/hellofreshSON16 and use code son16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping! Gametime - Download the Gametime app or go to https://barstool.link/GametimeApp, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Bearbottom - Get free shipping on your first purchase at https://bearbottomclothing.com/SONYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's been a while, my i know it has we've had a fucking gang of episodes in between just us us boys yakking i know i remember the last time we recorded i guess last week we record with last week no but i'm saying just the two of us oh yeah building castles in the sky it's been a while since we fucking really got busy it's fucking sick to have you sick to have just me and you time i know too bad it's fucking 900 degrees in here and it smells like ball sacks probably just like the six ball sacks that are in this room yeah just wafting directly at us why is it so hot is there no ac in here

they just gave up chicago bro, I really think they did. It's hot as fuck. Yeah, how's it going? Pretty good. Yeah. But to just say, how's it going after we just had a whole other show together? I know, for two hours. I know.

But that will be not a thing soon. So maybe the quality of these will skyrocket. not a thing soon so yeah maybe the quality of these will skyrocket if we're wasting all of our good homophobic takes on the act i know bring some homophobia home and nothing to say we could just reiterate how fucking gay pride is pride's crazy dude i took the train back from dc yesterday and i got in and i took the train all the roads were closed so i'd take the train from moynihan to my to seventh or to christopher and then i got out and there was like a thousand people on the street still and it was like seven o'clock damn and they stayed out there until 2am damn my super went out and yelled at them at one point can uh can dudes flash penis during pride i don't know i didn't see any penis i just saw like some girls with like the largest tits i've ever seen in my entire life really like hanging down to their knees

so beautiful yeah so super beautiful that's like whatever that's what it all was it was girls with like buzz cuts with massive tits pride has that's at least what I was on the subway with dude I think those are called lesbians yeah that's what it was no I think it's girls straight girls cosplaying

as gay and lesbian no those girls were definitely lesbians but there is a lot of straight girls that cosplay as like I'm an ally yeah who aren't

I'd never see their allyship the rest of the year I'd never see them do shit it's just cause it's like for them it's like a day where they can go get fucked up on a Sunday but when it's time for the penis straws to come out these girls come flocking out of the year no i don't never see them do shit it's just because it's like for them it's like a day where they can go get fucked up on a sunday but when it's time for the penis straws

to come out these girls come flocking out of the woodwork exactly these girls come fucking rushing out i said it on the yak yeah every gay dude rolls with a pack of 30 straight girls it's insane or i think some of the girls like aren't even tethered to a gay guy i think they're like searching for a gay best friend yeah it's like the best day of the year to find your gay best friend yeah that's true just that's fucking strong all you just need is some sort of drug that you can snort and the gay boys come crawling in just fake powders yeah they love their drugs it was crazy though it looked fun looked like a good time everyone was celebrating what other drugs are they doing other than cocaine poppers molly i feel like oh yeah molly i feel

like poppers not even a drug i've never done it but i know that gay people love it it doesn't even yes it really is so light like if there it doesn't even do shit probably whippets that's also barely a drug to me anything that doesn't last that long but cocaine i guess doesn't last that long either dmt doesn't guess, doesn't last that long either. DMT doesn't last long. Doesn't DMT last for like five minutes? Yeah, like 15 minutes. Yeah. The gays just off DMT in the shadow realm. Yeah.

Experiencing some Native American signatures, some fucking weird ass designs. Yeah, it's kind of sweet, dude. I wish I was out there, but I just couldn't bring myself to fucking rock with the gays like that. Do they not have a parade in Brooklyn or is it only in Manhattan? They had one in Tennessee. I was still in Tennessee when. Oh yeah. Over the morning.

I just don't fuck with them. I'm kidding. Most of them, most of my family's gay. Yeah. You had a lot of gay in your family i do no my dad's are gay it's no big deal dude i was uh i was at the sex toy shop this week oh yeah we gotta talk about that that's funny i was at the fucking sex toy shop this where'd you

go there's like no sex toy shops around i was was fucking bouncing around. Cause I smoke shops. Yeah. Yeah. All the fucking sex toy shops turned into fucking bong shops and fucking weed dispensaries. But it was a Gillian Wallows or it was Wallows birthday. Yeah. But it was kind of like both of their birthday. Yeah.

They definitely do like a split birthday party. Yeah. Or just anytime they celebrate one guy, they, they celebrate both the guys. Yeah. Uh, and Gillian Wallow put me on the text chain saying like, it's,

it's, it's our birthday come through. Yeah. And, uh, I called Gilly on the side. I was like, what should I,

what should I get Walla? And he was like, get him some gay shit. Yeah. And I was like, all right. He's like, get him some fucking dildos.

Okay. He said dildos. Okay. Cause I was like, maybe he meant like, just get him something funny dildos. He said dildos. Okay. Because I was like, maybe he meant like, just get him something funny. Funny's not gay. Gay's not funny. Gays are both. Yeah, you're right.

But I went to this, I tried to go to the sex shop on, there's like 23rd and 6th. There used to be one called Video Video that I like had seen before. But I went and it was all locked up. 23rd and 6th there used to be one called video video yeah that i like had seen before but i went and it was all locked up then i went to try to go to another one that was on like uh 27th and 5th during the pandemic curbside picking up a massive dildo yeah you had to call ahead like an applebee's it was just like the 15 minute waiting zone for you to load in dildos went to another one there was nothing and i finally found some place and I had to fucking buzz in. I had to like bring a buzzer,

which means they're sex trafficking. Like there's no doubt that there's like, fucking now's and fucking like people are wearing masks and like just sucking off one another. Yeah. I went to a smoke shop in Rochester, New York and I had to buzz in. I had to ring the doorbell.

Yeah. What is that? They're doing something illegal. Yeah, why would they lock? Why would you have a store where you can't just walk in? Well, it was what in Rochester? A smoke shop. Just like you were buying weed or?

No, I was buying a vape. Damn. And I walked in. You couldn't even buy. No, they didn't sell them anywhere. And I walked in and it was like three dudes just ripping dabs sitting on a couch. It was like not... Like the store...

Paranoid as hell? Yeah. Lock the door. The store was like... Yeah. It was a massive building. It was like a house. But the actual store was like the size of this table.

Like it was like a little stand with like a couple of apes. Just a tiny little stand and the guys were getting fried off the dabs. Dabs are... If you told me that the gays were doing dabs at pride that's a hard drug yeah but they would have passed out way earlier dabs will leave you in outer space yeah i'm sure have you ever have you ever hit a dab or anything no i almost did a dab like a dab pen i almost did like one of my first times smoking weed and luckily the the kid's rig like wasn't working so we couldn't do it he had like a nectar collector like an electric one and it was a nectar collector it's like uh you it's like a dab rig but it's like the bottom of the rig heats up and then you pretty much just dip it into the dabs damn rather than putting the dabs on the top that's such a good name for it

and we went to like this drug dealer in my hometown and he was like yeah uh do you just want to rip this nectar collector and we were like sure yeah definitely and then it didn't work out because the nectar collector was electric and it wasn't charged and then he couldn't find his torch and i always think about how lucky i was that that didn't work you would have been i would have outer space fast track to a panic attack for sure. And then one time I did a dab on a Friday in

San Jose and I was positive that I fucking lost my wallet for the entire weekend. I went the entire weekend without my wallet and then drove to Los Angeles just being like, I don't have a wallet for the week. And I got to Los Angeles and I opened my bag and it was right there on the top squarely visible the entire time. And I just got my brain scrambled for like 72 hours by this fucking dab, dude. I feel like they

can get you bad. Yeah. They have. Have you ever seen the video of the dude getting paralyzed? No. You got to actually paralyzed. He's just sitting there. The video is like three minutes long. And the first two minutes is him just like this. Just like staring. And they're like all shaking him. And they're like, yo, dude. And he's not moving at all. And then eventually someone just grabs his arms and moves them.

And then he snaps back into it. And he's like, I was just fucking paralyzed. I was just fucking paralyzed. Yeah. I got to go to the hospital. I was just fucking paralyzed. And he was just sitting up drooling. Yeah, it's crazy.

It's a crazy video. Damn. That's very funny. That's just a funny way for him to go out. Yeah. I thought that video was like super big. I was trying to show it to people this weekend and no one had ever seen it. Damn, you're already talking about dabs this weekend?

Yeah. It's going around. It is. It's dab season. I thought it was hazy out. Yeah. When it was all red in New York. That was just from some dude fucking-

That was from the dabs. That was from the christening of dab season. I used to be big into the dab culture. Like when I would watch videos of Custom Grow 420 taking like one gram dabs and then just throwing up and sweating everywhere. It is like an ayahuasca ceremony. It's like so violent for the body to take a dab. Yeah.

Dude, the coughs that he was letting out sounded like he was having an exorcism. It was like, oh! It was crazy. What is your body trying to get out? What is your body trying to get out when that happens to you? I'm assuming it's because it's so hot, right? You're trying to pink sock your organs, I think. Yeah.

I think you're just trying to get everything out of your out of your body just trying to flip your body inside out because whatever is happening is so unnatural like heroin seems like a very normal soft drug compared to that yeah dude dabs are like hardcore you need a fucking torch to smoke that what happens when you do heroin on the street you just like fall asleep yeah like if you never hear a guy on heroin coughing like that yeah like a demon's trying to leave his body yeah that shit is fucking it was a culture of people just like filming themselves doing it oh yeah early on and that was when the weed tubers were big but then they all got shut down even before like weed was legal legal and even in like colorado like at the university of colorado all the kids would like go to like the campus square and at 4 20 they let off one cloud i was like this is sick one fat dab this is

fucking legendary the last dab so i went into this fucking illegal fucking porno fucking yeah dab shop and it's it's like just one just one fat like actually the Big Titty Buzzcut Lady the exact one you're talking about that's a whole genre of women

that have just recently spawned they only come out on pride day exactly when it's dab season they come crawling out they go back into hiding it's like a thriller music video zombies crawling up from out on pride day exactly when his dab season they come crawling out go back into hiding woodwork yeah it's like a thriller music video zombies crawling up from below running dispensaries and sex shops yeah fucking so i went into this uh the sex shop and uh it was just me in there and it was

like two rooms of just like everything you could have ever imagined. And like I wanted to buy the shit for Wallo. I wanted to look like I wanted to look preposterous for like when he opened it. Like I wanted him to get something ridiculous. So off rip, I bought him a 26 inch double ended black dildo, a 14 inch Caucasian penis water gun, a nice a nice vibrating cock ring. Oh, some lace bunny ears oh just a little gift bag for no swing or anything like that i was gonna buy him the swing like i saw the swing on the wall it was like in the same section as everything but i just like he obviously isn't going to use any of this so i just want it to be like funny to say or hear or like put on when he's like taking it out, like a big floppy dildo coming out.

It would be funny to me for like the, the, the penis, the penis gun. Yeah. Just this big white veiny cock. I feel like that'd be funny for him to, or even to have to read cock ring.

Yeah. I've envisioned him putting on the bunny ears and the lady fucking wrapped up the, the dildo, like a baguette. Like she didn't want anyone to see it she was like you know she knew that it was probably because it's not legal it's like when you get a fucking it was a weapon tall boy and they put a paper bag around it was like a ar on

the subway dude i could have got arrested walking around licensed to buy one of those 36 inch deals a murder weapon really i could have killed somebody and like she was double wrapping everybody she didn't want anybody to know and as i was leaving she was like have fun at the party oh no i didn't have the heart to tell her that like i'm making fun of your entire profession by doing this like i'm i'm poking fun at the massive dildo world but no one's is anyone actually buying those dildos and using them i feel like those have to just be like i think they are dude a 36 inch dildo i think people are using and first off it's double-ended so you can go ass to

ass but i but what is so what you're still both taking fucking 18 inches of 18 inches of dick you're fucking rearranging your gut but i was just picturing gillian wallow like the hustler left yeah fucking ass to ass dude just fucking melt up with it um and like i was i was biking home with it like fucking like swinging from my bag the dildo was swinging and as i was was crossing the Manhattan Bridge, the fucking bag ripped. Oh, no. I had to pull the bike over. There's nowhere to pull over.

I'm on this skinny-ass bike lane collecting the dildos and the baguette back into my bag. I fucking got back home, fucking gift-wrapped everything. And I texted Gilly earlier in the day. I was like, when should I be at this party? And he was like, nine o'clock sharp. So I still didn't understand what the party was because it's at Ocean Prime, which is like a very nice big seafood restaurant.

And so I was like, oh, nine o'clock, he's saying sharp. So that makes me think that that's when Wallow's going to get there. So like I got that, I made sure I was there at 8.30. I got there early. So I was like, if there's a surprise, I don't want to be getting there at the same time, ruining the surprise. I got there at 8.30. I got there early, so I was like, if there's a surprise, I don't want to be getting there at the same time, ruining the surprise. I got there at 8.30.

The place wasn't even open yet. Oh, damn. It wasn't. So it was nowhere close to 9 o'clock sharp, and I went around the corner, had a drink at 9.15. I got back in, and I realized that I had, like, fucked up big time, dude. It was just like. Oh, yeah, with the gifts.

It was like a black wedding. It was like. the gifts it was like a black wedding it was like yeah it's like a black excellence like he did he party yeah what do you say when he's got like kevin hart and fucking jay-z in a circle and they're all imagine walking into a party and everybody's in like floral three-piece suits yeah yeah what were you wearing what were you rocking like a fucking like a stupid like long sleeve t-shirt or some shit like looking like a fucking be rabbit like a complete yeah my scully i had a fucking beanie on i had this hat bro throw me this hat dude i had you had a beanie on yeah i had this number on bro is that a yarmulke i walked in like this dang i walked over there like a muslim brother i was like

and they hit me with this a lake of salat we're in philly that's a big muslim population yeah i was just wearing this hat i don't know why he was wearing it but it looks sick dude and i just walked around this party and i realized like it wasn't a why he was wearing it, but it looked sick. Dude, and I just walked around this party, and I realized, like, it wasn't a dinner. It was, like, fucking 300 people. Yeah, it was a celebration of life. Yeah. And it was, like, I knew literally zero people. It was, like, being at a wedding and, like, being the only person you know that's invited, and you know the bride and groom.

Yeah. And I knew Gilly and Wallow, and they didn't come until 10 o'clock dude so i'm walking with uh i didn't have the right bag to put it in so i had this like like thanksgiving uh like like uh hayride bag it said like harvest like jesus it was like a live laugh love bag that i had a fucking baguette dildo fucking swinging out of and i was the only person that brought a present so i was like where's the table to put down like the presents and there was no table to put down the presents so i just had to fucking walk around this entire party fucking swinging these dildos but then i told i saw gilly and i told him and he was like oh shit i gotta get the microphone he was trying to do a dildos. But then I told, I saw Gilly and he, I told him and he was like, oh shit, I gotta get the microphone. He was trying to do a dildo presentation in front of everybody.

But he like, uh, when he said he was going to go get the microphone, he like ran to the bar. I like, I was like getting drunk. I was like, man, I need to, I think I need to go. Yeah. I need to leave. So like, I just rushed up to Wallace's and I just jammed the bag into his hand. Didn't tell him what it was at all. And I was like, just film it when you open it. So hopefully there's footage out there somewhere of Wallo just unsheathing these fucking masterpieces. But I'm a dude who's pretty comfortable in most situations. This was one of the most awkward times of my life.

Didn't you say someone else came in? The only other person that brought someone else came in like the other only other person that brought a present came in with like a fucking uh what was it like some luxury it's like a fendi bag yeah it's like a like a massive fendi box or something like that it was like everybody was on their like extreme black excellence tip yeah yeah kevin hart with the toast where he's like yeah every every every story of your book is a chapter you decide how the next chapter will be written it was like oh god damn there was like a nice moment though where they like brought me up in front of everybody and they like gave me like uh you should have asked them to throw you a meal i should have yeah i should you know what

i mean the same way that some of these guys at barstool got the the massive fucking bag uh the hug you should have asked them to throw you a meal I should have yeah you know what I mean the same way that some of these guys at Barstool got the massive fucking bag for being part of Barstool's whole story

I've been part of a million dollars worth of games whole story I was one of their first employees but they like brought me up

like gave me a big like we gonna be rich forever hug and fucking Wallow like spoke extemporaneously for a minute about me very nicely how

many speeches were there the whole night yeah i imagine it was just speeches the whole time it was a lot of speeches what do you got yeah play the kevin hart dude all righty let's talk about bare bottom bare bottom is a fantastic clothing brand that we know barstool fans would love. These shorts are actually Bare Bottom, and I love them. And it's not just barstool fans. It's me. It's everyday people.

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god damn he's wrong you should have just given that speech word for word no one would know no one would know and that's jay-z that that reacts like that. It was Jay-Z, Diddy, and Kevin Hart. And they act like it's like the firest speech, too. That's just like word salad. Oh, yeah. You could tell that he's about to be on some bullshit when he's like, I'm about to keep this very simplistic. First off, there's a more simple word for simplistic.

Oh, yeah. and it's simple if you were going to keep it simple you would have said simple dude he just made it complicated for absolutely no reason yeah i gotta get to one of those parties it sounds fucking awesome isn't that the one that dave tried to get invited to or no that was michael reagan's white party y'all know that'd be so funny i don't even know how to ask to get invited like elio yeah it's like a briefcase and some like baggy suits yeah i gotta go to a fucking suit party at some point in my life i know i know i was so excited were you pissed you didn't wear a suit because you got good suits and you showed up in a fucking

t-shirt i should have worn a suit. I should have fucking dressed it up. I just had no idea what it was going to be like. For the next time they have his 45th birthday, I'll know exactly what to wear. That one you're going to show up in a suit and everyone's going to be wearing just fucking t-shirts? No, it's going to be like an all-white party. I'm going to come in like a purple suit or something like that. Looking like an absolute asshole.

Damn. It was my first crack at at uh black excellence oh yeah and you were there and you got a speech that's a pretty good successful first black excellence party yeah really good you have a speech about you but i was like just i was like trying to like make small talk with dudes because i was just so self-conscious of how white i looked and how i just like stuck out like a sore thumb yeah i was just trying to just been walking around like playing your king of the dot highlights bumping into people dropping my phone is that my phone or your phone what is that you're watching is that me

but i also was like very conscious not to be talking to the other white people yeah that was cracking me up so much because if i get caught at a table where it's just like me and all the white people, it's just like, I'm at the white guy table. Dude, this is not how I want to be a black excellent. Those weren't white, white people. Because Obes would always tell me about like- You said they all had sharp, like Dan Bilzerian beards. Yeah.

They did. They were manicured, dude. They looked like they'd be a co-host on joe budden show yeah 100 they were it was uh a crazy look but obes used to talk about like uh some of the diddy parties that he would go to were like the fucking i forget what parties maybe it was some kind of rock nation party but he said that like g easy and mgk would wind up like hanging out with each other people would pair up at their level and like they were beefing at the

time but they're like damn we gotta stick together like two white dudes like getting locked up and being like we're fucking Aryan now. That was my main concern. That was my main fear. I wasn't trying to get like pigeonholed as like a white who only communicated with whites in an event like that. Especially at Black Excellence. Black Excellence

man. That's how you don't get invited back and that's shameful if you don't let's go suit shopping totally me and you i feel like having the i feel like obes kind of has an easier though because when he's got the camera it's like everyone wants to get pictures taken of them so you just he's like busy you can just be busy and be by yourself just like posing like yeah yeah like champagne and shit they're always they're all drinking champagne they're always on the phone every always places someone just oh yeah yeah they're busy as hell yeah they're so fucking busy dude they're they're making text or they're making uh they can't do this business over text hell no they have to do this face to face nicest drive where you've ever

seen screaming at each other like the agent from the idol. Oh yeah. I'll face fuck you. I'm going to fuck your dick hole. Have you been, are you up to date? On the air? On the idol.

Oh, I thought you were talking about the air. I don't know why I thought you were talking about air. Oh, that guy's funny too. Yeah. Who is that? And who is that supposed to be?

But it's Ben Affleck. Yeah. And he's talking about like of course i got herpes because you don't fuck or whatever yeah um no i'm not up to date on the idol at all oh my god i've only watched the first episode dude i wish you i saw the clip last night's episode oh god i gotta catch up i want to catch up so bad i saw the clip of uh the dude who's like i'm a my mom's a doctor and he's like grabbing the what's her name joe's joe's yeah i guess i don't know the main character yeah he's like grabbing her in the in the weekends

like yo what the fuck are you doing bro and he's like oh no it's okay my mom's a doctor and he goes over and he just slaps him and he's like fuck what is the line that he says it's dudes the whole thing is so fucking cringy he like kicks the dude out of the house yeah yeah and he's like what he just did was not okay dude i i think the weekend's probably been famous for so long that he hasn't interacted with normal people in forever and that's like what he thinks the world is like totally dude it's it's only getting crazier to the episodes that we're at but it's crazy that it's already canceled too because it's getting to the it's like unjumping the shark yeah it's like going backwards over the shark dude it's it's

getting better uh spoiler alert but in the fourth episode there's like she gets jealous and then she uh she fucks her ex-boyfriend oh shit and the weekend uh he like they just like cut to him downstairs crying just fucking like like really slowly like his eyes are welling up with tears how could you do this to me he like bangs on the thing she locks the door and he's banging on the door like screaming oh no they make him like turn into a loser by like the fourth episode he's gonna stretch out your tiny little pussy you're stretching out his tell me he's not stretching out your tiny little pussy it's like fucking people are like putting on dog collars there's like scene where they're like kidnapping he didn't write the show though he probably did he probably they were bringing it to him i thought it was the Euphoria dude that did it. Or did he direct it?

He's definitely directing it. I like how afterwards they have the... What have we got? Jesus. Oh my God. Tedro. the tedrosy fucking tedro oh dude it's so bad but it's so entertaining i actually should really watch it but it's it's so entertaining yeah it's like perfect entertainment how many episodes do you think there are 10 you think they even finish no next episode is the last episode oh fuck there's like five episodes and it's like done you should do a fucking live stream we should we gotta get in the gambling cave i gotta find we're just on our phones

i feel like i saved the clip that i fucking tedro it's it's maybe my favorite hbo show that's ever come out. The fucking Succession Reddit. They're furious. Why? Because fucking... People who watch Succession definitely think they're smart as fuck. Yeah, but it's because Succession had the Sunday spot on HBO, and now it's fucking the idol. Well, what are they going to do?

Run back Succession? They would be better. If you can't experience both ends. This was the line. It is. I think you're gay. Oh, I know. Not this one, but this one's hilarious. Wrong one.

That one's funny as fuck. She's like, you know what it is? I think you're gay. And then he just looks at her like... He says that to the ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend comes over he's like shit-faced he makes the dude do like four shots with him he's like what are you a faggot does he actually type that in tyler i fuck i gotta find this i'm not gonna be able to find it though

damn you need to get back into watching this show yeah i've only watched it once but i feel like i got the whole gist of the entire show i can't uh i can't decide if like this is how he actually acts in his like sex life like he's tying people up with like jumper cables 100% is he's doing exactly this shit yeah like the jumper cables and the dog collars and like fucking shocking people and stuff like that yeah because he's probably brainwashed and doesn't understand what the real world is. That Hollywood satanic shit. Yeah. That good old fashioned Hollywood satanic shit.

Like he shows up at a fucking walk, like a mile long driveway and he's at the fucking gate with a trench coat on. He's like standing there waiting. It's like, one's no one does that but i think that there's real people in hollywood that are like this i i don't know and then later on it comes out that he's like he has like a charge against him yeah no shit the dude has like a kidnapping charge he's a kidnapping charge yeah i thought you're gonna say like some sort of like sexual assault or something i think he might i don't know i think it was like he tied someone up wouldn't let them leave on some deep sexual shit oh yeah but that's what happens when you

walk into the fucking dungeon with the weekend you gotta expect that to happen what is his name in the show it's tedro tedro yeah that's what happens dude when you yeah when you enter the lions fuck with tedro but then i saw a story this week that uh nikki minaj's uh whole neighborhood is passing around a petition to get her and her new husband kicked out of the neighborhood because he has like a rape charge yeah like a long time ago or something like that that's a big one the the ariana grande fans love bringing that up do they why because they hate nikki do they why because they stan ariana bro keep up that's a beef i had no idea that was beef yeah no i said this earlier if those those those fans they if they have their they're a fan of one person and

they want every other artist to die the most brutal tragic death of all time that's not even like true it's not even like they just they just like ariana grande they hate every like everyone else needs to suffer like dude did you see this week that taylor swift basically called off the dogs for her fans on john mayer after 13 years yeah his life was probably in danger oh yeah like they were gonna kill him yeah and now there's probably still people who are like, someone put her up to this. Like, this doesn't seem like Taylor. We need to check on Taylor.

There's probably like some Sri Lankan Taylor Swift fan that's like, John Mayer must die. Yeah. Oh, 100%. Like, he's like, definitely going to kill her. Yeah. I must kill John Mayer. Yeah.

Did you see that? Yeah, it's just incredible. Like, her reach is like so international and they're fucking deadly. She's more powerful than most leaders of countries. She makes like 18 million a show. Yeah. And she does like five shows a weekend or whatever. Yeah.

She's making like $100 million every weekend. Yeah. I don't really understand how that works. I mean, I'm assuming she probably has to pay out million every weekend. Yeah, I don't really understand how that works. I mean, I'm assuming she probably has to pay out a shit ton of people. I don't know.

She's probably... She probably walks with like $7 million per show if I had to guess. Poor bitch. Those fucking agents, man. Unbelievable. Well, I'm assuming

when you do a venue that big, it probably costs a lot of money to do it too. The Swifties should be going after her agent, her manager, the bookers. These people are robbing Taylor Swift right now. They're taking money out of our queen's pockets. And as Swifties, we need to band together and attack these people who are getting rich off of her hard work her songwriting and her performing yeah yeah you're right i'm just trying to get that into like the taylor swift hive like just like a little soundbite or something like that out there yeah yeah i don't know fucking

get that in the algo and try and fucking rip that shit up and here i was thinking that everyone from barstool sports sucked finally some good barstool sports employees cosplaying as swift yeah like somebody who was like a jewish dude pretending to be a nazi just trying to like escape germany i love hitler um trying to get the hell out of dodge yeah Yeah, that's nuts. It's fucking like Matt Rife. Dude, Matt Rife sold out the Chicago Theater eight times. He set the record. I saw somebody like...

That's over 30,000 tickets. I saw some dude tweeting the other day, like, my wife is desperate for Matt Rife tickets. Can someone help? This battle rapper. Oh, damn. Being like, my wife is desperate for Matt Rife tickets. Can someone help? This battle rapper. Oh, damn. Being like, my wife is desperate for Matt Rife tickets. I didn't know how to tell him, bro.

She's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's for the streets, big fella. Yeah. He's fucking huge, dude. He's going to be the biggest, the most successful comedian of all time. Like, highest selling comedian ever. Off the, off the...

Yeah. I mean, he's probably pretty close to dan cook level right now how long has he been on like huge huge not that long probably like how do you a year he was off he was on while now he's been he's been like known for 15 years he was very funny on while now but he was on while he was 15 he? Yeah, I think so. Him and Matty B. No. Yeah, I mean, he... I don't know.

He's fucking huge. It's funny because I think that a lot of comics resent him for his crowd. They're like, oh, his crowd's women. Yeah. I don't think anyone should be worried like i don't think there's that many comics that are that worried about like if you genuinely think matt rife is a competitor then you're fucking delusional yeah he's smoking you no one no comedian on earth

is bringing out 28 000 women to their shows i know like that's not that's not a competitor that's like a completely different yeah but let But let's see him go on fully loaded. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see how he'd be one in one of the nine spots on fully loaded. Would he crush on fully loaded? In front of the fat dudes? Probably dude.

Probably. I'm kidding. He definitely would crush in front of the fat dudes. Fat dudes aren't the ones resenting him. It's the fat comics. Yeah. Fat comics. Fat comics are pissed.

I don't think that many comics are pissed. I think it's a lot of like people who aren't success people i mean people who aren't successful get mad at anyone who is successful but it's like dude he's someone who's so successful that it shouldn't even be like bought like i understand if someone's like right around your like range in your orbit yeah but like he is in a different he's not like i don't think there's any who has been who has had this much of a of a grasp on female comedy fans? Who else has jokes like, oh, you made me cookies?

That's adorable. Yeah, no one. No one has jokes like that. It's just like he has a completely different fan base. These people aren't people that would be going to normal comedy shows. Yeah. Is he stuffing someone famous

right now i don't think i heard word that he might be stuffing someone i'm sure probably every famous person yeah it was like kate beckinsale or some shit i don't know i think he has a girlfriend kate beckinsale shit really? Yeah, Kate Beckinsale. On the low, low, low, low, low. Doesn't sound like it's that low. Oh man, there's a picture of them sharing raisin nuts. Damn. Didn't she fuck Davidson too though? I think she has a type.

He's coming out like a palestinian woman who voted he's the greatest dude is it palestine who votes who votes they dipped it in the ink thoughts on palestine's ass while we're i don't have any how about how about thoughts on russia right now bro yeah what's going on with that? They're overthrowing Putin? There's a dude who has a prisoner army. Yeah. He's just like... Like Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. It really is.

He told the prisoners, he's been just crushing it on social media, and he told the prisoners, he was like, six months, if you run, we will shoot you. If you're still alive in six months,

you have your freedom. They're like, ah! Damn. It's kind of sick. It's a pretty good deal. That was the deal for Putin? No, for this dude who's running this revolution.

Oh, oh, oh. And so Putin's pissed. He's like, you're fucking stabbing your Russian brothers in the back. Yeah. He's salty. But they're going for Putin, I thought. No, they're going against Putin. It's a civil war.

But they don't want to kill Putin? Yeah, they're gunning for it. It's like a civil war. So now Russia's fighting against Ukraine and they're also fighting against this prisoner army. It's like Dune 2 or some shit. It's fucking like this whole other plot line. What are they trying to gain out of the Ukraine war?

I don't know. Just global power? I think they're trying to destabilize the uh un so taiwan can fall to china maybe something like that it's a smart play i don't fucking know i'm team russia are you well actually i'm team putin more than anything dude putin he's a genius i heard that putin has like houses in fucking Italy off the bluff, bro. 100%. Why not just go to Italy and chill on the bluff overlooking the Turanian Sea or whatever? Because, bro, once you get that power.

You think? I know. They said that Putin likes to fight dirty, though. That he's not afraid to fight dirty. Of course he does. Since he has his little fucking KGB background. Oh, yeah. He's not doing anything you see going on.

That's not what Putin's actually doing. No. He's doing some nasty behind the scenes shit. He's probably on the fucking front lines. He's doing some Bill Cosby shit. Yeah. Yeah. He's riding a horse on the front lines.

Yeah. Like Stonewall Jackson. They have like a marching band. Yeah. He's just fucking drinking Stoli, fucking riding a horse. Two big ass machine guns mowing down Ukrainians. I cannot believe there's a war going on. Man.

Everything seems so chill. I know. Everything seems so chill where I'm at. Like one of the people who denies global warming. It's like, it's hot right now. It's hot as shit in here. I can tell you there's not global warming in here. Or there is.

Or there is. Yeah, there's so much. Global warming is thriving right in this room right now. I know, bro. The fucking under breast sweat is really fucking, it's really spazzing right now. What are you about to do this summer, bro? It's summertime now.

This is our first official show of the summer. I know. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm going do i don't know what i'm gonna do for fourth of july i think me and column are doing a show that night but i think we're gonna try and make it like fun you and column fucking two peas in a pod can't break those guys up yeah right dude you two get together you start saying some very very xenophobic stuff no that, that's not true. Maybe call him. No, just him. Yeah, just him. Do you explore each other's bodies?

Hell no. You should start. Hell no. Why? We don't fuck around with that shit. I don't know what you boys are doing over at the fucking Gillian Wallow parties, but we don't really ride like that.

What if I like left my credit card and I like came back in and they were just like playing with the fucking squirt guns going out. Yeah, they probably were. They were probably waiting for you to get out of there. You know,

you got the media on your back. Wake me up. This guy works for the press. No dildos. No dildos until this fucking journalist leaves. I can't believe they didn't pat me down when I walked into the party. You probably saw the big ass dildo and they were like just let him go it's probably an AR

let him in he probably has the Draco on him the Draco with the titties the titty mag the drums not the fucking the drummies let's talk about HelloFresh

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and there's a 30-day return policy if you change your mind that's l-u-c-y dot c-o promo code sun to receive 20 off and always free shipping holy fuck i'm about to go to the beach this weekend yeah we're at i want to go to the beach or yeah i'm going down like see how avalon area smart smart man you trying to go down there sure i got nothing this weekend yeah i'm gonna be down in that bitch nice what are you doing and then what so you're going to what are you doing next week because we have no work next week well deserved i'm going to south africa next week yeah i've heard rumors that you're going the week after i'm going from the 6th to the 16th turn the notice on on instagram i'm about to be on vacation alert yeah about to be flexing nicest hotel in all

of africa yeah how much does this vacation cost now we we kind of beat around the bush last time let's get real 50 it's costing half half half a year of sasquatch at barstool 25 that's not bad fucking probably damn near when it comes down to it no what's really saving me is these upgrades on the fucking uh on this delta flight dude yeah 15 hour flight but since i got this since i since your platinum since i have that diamond bro diamond i forgot there was a level above platinum don't disrespect i got to i got to silver well i thought i was gonna get to silver but because i hit the money spent thing i didn't know that you i didn't know you needed the money and the flights or miles that's fucking you really just need the money they don't care about the money yeah the money doesn't even matter because like i like i'm i'm 20 flights or i'm 10 flights away from being silver but i already hit the money

so it's like i'm probably gonna hit fucking six thousand dollars spent before i hit where i need to hit it's where i got eight thousand more miles we're gonna have to do a content series where we get to delta diamond medallion status yeah we just fly around and fucking get our shit up so how does it work you get to you so you get silver and then what happens at the end of the year res Resets? It resets, yeah. But you have it for that whole next year. But you have silver. That whole status for the whole next year.

And you can try and earn the points again. Like I missed gold by like 12K and had to reset. Damn! But like you stick with silver. So if I hit gold and like my diamond would reset. And I would have still not been on gold. What if you just bought a flight? Doesn't matter.

You have to fly it. You have to fly it? You can't it you can't buy it yeah that's so dumb dude isn't that crazy i'm just gonna start taking flights from fucking newark to laguardia back and forth to work yeah touch the wall yeah just go across the country touch the wall get back because all i need is 12 more i just need 12 more wheels up mqms yeah only 12 more mqms which isn't terrible but i dude when we had a layover that counts as two so i might just start flying with layovers every time just severely inconvenience your entire lifestyle just so you could get this that's what they want that's what big that's what i want i want to beat silver do i get upgraded if i get silver or now you can choose you can get some stuff but at the end of the year you have to like opt into all these things or when it switches over you have to opt in so what did you opt into um

like you get you can it's like three or four things and one of them was international upgrades so it's a 15 hour flight i'm gonna be fucking horizontal the entire time oh yeah but you but you get upgrades every single flight like you get upgraded constantly how did you manage to get that to happen that's how did you how long being that's just being diamond they'll like put whoever like first so you'll never lose diamond no next year i have to i have to earn diamond again this year so how many flights you have to take like a thousand what do you mean this year yeah no you earn it so i earned it last year so i'm about to earn it again just by fucking being a road warrior but you don't even i feel like i travel more than you huh and maybe not maybe how many mqms you have this year hold up

mooc's fucking mooc mooc has like the spirit uh mooc spirit platinum yeah the sun alliance i saw a new one on frontier it is so what do you do you do american i swear you did delta for so long yeah i guess i did that too yeah that was such a mistake i did that for like a year straight of all flying every weekend i just was using price line yeah try to tell you yeah but then also this flight to south africa is going to count towards that wait you're already at silver this year pass that shit over here you have 412 000 miles is that, a flight around the world? I think that, I mean, I wasn't the same as Mook.

I didn't count him for a long-ass time. I'm not even going to talk about your MQDs. What's the MQD? Big baller shit. What is MQD? You spent $10,000 more than me this year on flights. This is this year? How?

How have you done this? I fly just as much as you. I fly a lot. How do you have 41,000 miles? I have 16,000. I've been to LA like three times this year. Definitely went to Brazil, not Florida. Yeah. Fuck you, dude.

And you have 24 MQSs? What is even an MQS? Wheels up, wheels down, bro. Yeah, that sounds about right. There's some that didn't even count. I got to call them up. No, you have four pending. Dude, this doesn't make sense.

You're scamming the system somehow. How do you have 26,000 miles pending? Because I'm about to go to South Africa. Oh, okay. I see. So you're going to hit gold. So you're going to hit Delta Medallion fucking weeks

in weeks. And I'm not even going to hit silver. I have 18 to get to silver. Jago, what are you at? You got to download it now, bro. Start from the beginning. This is crazy. Where are you going i'm telling you south africa how do you have this much shit i'm going to south africa but without

south africa you still have 41 000 i'm like flying to like los angeles for like a day for the pap ev show coming back flying to los angeles for a day flying to like fucking dude random ass places for like a day i was in Tennessee this week and I'm flying every single week you bastard I should have flown to fucking DC I shouldn't have driven why are you getting bitter bro cause I wanna be fucking gold

or at least silver how come it's so hard to get to silver I'm a road warrior they're fucking me you have some sort of like boosted xp thing i got the boost i got the turbo boost yeah i got the nas i fucking hit the nas every time i get the double xp god damn dude your your buffalo bills are in some controversy right now why did you see this what digs uh no the uh digs is back brought him home no it's not digs it's not old digsy it's not digsy coming back to it's uh the dude jordan poyer the uh the safety he was

having a charity golf tournament and he decided to have it at trump national or like trump's course in florida yeah and the entire internet was like, fuck you, you piece of shit. How dare you do your charity there? And so they like browbeated him to the point where he had to cancel the charity event. He like can't have the charity because they were going to do it

at Trump's golf course or whatever. Damn. And he had to like post about it. But all the boys from the Bills, especially Gabe Davis, are in his comments being like, those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. Just fucking gas. Sounds like something Gabe would say.

Yeah. The Bills are fucking locked in all together. But it is funny that the. We're pushing through it, man. Yeah. We're doing a little. We're doing a little fucking PR. yeah we're doing a little we're doing a little fucking uh pr they're just like targeting like the black football players and being like you guys are bigots yeah that's hilarious you guys are

having a charity event at trump's course you're a bigot dude they probably because where is it florida yeah buffalo to florida i mean how many fucking miles is that oh they're probably trying to get the mqs they're probably trying to get to diamond mqms are probably insane on that come on florida dude you just gotta go why else would you go to florida we need to start getting on the we need to start getting on the andrew schultz wave dude of all the whole taking the whole podcast to morocco or whatever the fuck he's always doing son of a boy dad from marrakesh you all right bro just fucking hurt myself on the cactus at the actus uh what happened to the gift that we got from warmode i know the salt lamp i've been thinking about that as well i heard that someone took it oh fair enough oh no someone stole that we're we're fucked well we'll find because everybody it's like a little fucking

hoarder's pit every single day i know in those bins there's just people coming up from the third floor digging through that yeah wearing like my old clothes that i didn't even agree to give away they threw out a sweatshirt of mine and i was really pissed about it of you just your sweatshirt that you always wear yeah you just see a salesperson wearing it I was pissed. I don't know who has it. My black. It was a black one. But. Dude, I was looking.

We all have these bins that like everyone's putting their shit in to be like, don't throw this stuff away. Yeah. For people that are staying in New York. I won't name names, but someone, I looked at someone's bin and there was just straight up just trash in it. It's like empty coffee cups and stuff. Many?

I'm not going to say. Frank? Not going to say. Bibs'm not gonna say frank not gonna say bibs not gonna say definitely not bibs though so glennie or frank frank would have put trash in i know that he's a tidy guy yeah frank's so fucking funny when i got bombed in nashville this weekend i just like put on frank the Tank videos. I watched them until I fell asleep. Yeah. How was Nashville? Fun as hell.

Wasn't as fun as when we were down there, bro. No. I was missing you, bro. I had to hang out with Tommy Smokes the entire weekend. Fuck Tommy Smokes. Kind of a buzzkill. Yeah. Looks like a good time, though.

Kind of a little bit of a buzzkill. This girl kept on coming up to tommy being like uh i don't care but like everyone keeps on coming up to you so like what do you do that shit is so annoying i don't know who the fuck you are but my boys do so like what are you famous or popular yeah yeah and they like won't leave it alone i know that's the worst type everyone that happened to happen to us in uh in minnesota with that at that karaoke bar what happened oh yeah yeah coming up they kept on coming up to us yeah what do you guys do yeah and you kept on saying you work on wall street and that dude tried to fucking kill you and wallace he was like you're the problem yeah

wallace threw him he cracked the fucking tile floor with the guy's body. You were just completely joking saying you were because you're wearing a suit. And you said, I work on Wall Street. And he was like, you're the fucking problem in this country. Yeah. I put so much money into Wall Street and got nothing out of it. A tiny drunk man. Yeah. It was his birthday.

Fucking like gravel. Yeah. Emotionally disturbed. It was his birthday too. Whoever molested him, dude. I know. They did a hell of a job. They did Emotionally disturbed. It was his birthday, too. Whoever molested him, dude. I know. They did a hell of a job. They did a number on him.

They did a perfect job. They got him right. It's lasting. Whatever they put in his head is lasting. I gotta go. By their penis. I gotta get on the road this weekend. I can't afford to not be flying every weekend now. Where should I go? Come down to Jersey. Come down to South Jersey. I'm not flying

to South Jersey. What do you fly to Newark? Just skip a little bit of traffic. I go from JFK to Newark. Skip the traffic, especially on a holiday weekend. You got to skip that traffic. Oh yeah. Fly out to Montauk on one of those planes that lands in the East River. Oh, yeah. Cessna. My buddy flew in a Cessna. It looks spooky, but they're flying in every 15 minutes. So it's like if it's that frequent, I guess they're not crashing.

But that is a dicey ride. Dude, my buddy Bo is in Alaska right now. And he sent me a picture the other day that he just has a 12-gauge shotgun just in his room. He has a 12-gauge shotgun shotgun in case you get bored yeah kill yourself and he has a glock and like it dude it's not like in a safe a lock or a glock it's not like in a safe or anything it's literally just leading up against his window damn because it's for bears damn yeah so it's it's ready to go that's his cabin. And then he has a pistol that he has to carry with him when he's fly fishing. No way.

Yeah. I wonder if he's seen any bears. I haven't really talked to him. A bear is still fucking up, dude. I feel like a bear. A bear could eat a lot of shots. Yeah. Tiny little like handgun.

Like that would just make the bear ornery. Yeah. You have to seduce the bear. I'm sure it's the sound. You have give the sound probably gets them oh yeah smell this yeah i'd love to see a bear yeah i would could have seen one at pride brother maybe i'm gonna maybe i'll go out to south africa with you next week you should bro yeah just like for the flight though but you're sitting in like the shitty part of the plane hell no why would i be sitting in the shitty part i mean you don't have the points to be

laying down the entire time i'm gonna be staying in like buy it i think dude that i it's prohibitively expensive how much i i bought the regular ticket and got it upgraded. So how much is the normal one? Like $20,000? Probably. Yeah. What kind of plane is it? A380?

A380 to Cape. I bet it's either an A380 or a Boeing 777. Boeing 777. I'm expecting to have like a suite where they give me like a bathrobe or some shit. Do you know what the flight number is? Can I look it up? I don't know. I want to see what plane it is.

Because if you're flying like an Emirates or it's Delta, it's not Emirates. It's Delta. I'm flying to Atlanta first and then I'm flying to straight to Cape Town. So for 15 hours, I'm flying from Cape town to Atlanta. I'm leaving at night and I'm landing the next night. Oh, that sucks. Yeah.

It says it's $10,000 for a, Oh, one way. What, what, what is it? Delta one. Yeah.

What kind of plan is it? I don't know. I'm just, I'm just searching a random one. It should say. Oh, and this one has two stopovers. So it would probably be... It should say on the...

Do you look up boarding pass or the flight information yet or no? I really want to know what plane you're flying in. I don't know, bro. I'm trying to look it up right now. I'm doing a fresh search. All I need is know, bro. I'm trying to look it up right now. I'm doing a fresh search. All I need is the flight number.

KL595 would be one. It would be. It's typically DL. This one looks like it's a different airline or something like that. Oh, and this one. And this is two stops. I'm doing a single stop. I was trying to go right there.

Come to South Africa with me. Come on a safari, bro. You thought the wildlife was sweet up in Iceland. I did not. I'm trying to see the big five. Yeah, KL595. I don't think that's you, man. That's from Amsterdam to Cape Town.

Okay, well, what's that one? That's like one of the legs. Or that's just like a different flight that I checked. I'm not telling you my actual flight number. You don't have to just type it in so I can look it up. Why do you care so much? Because I want to know if you're flying on an A380. I've always wanted to.

We've got the plane part of the program. Yeah, the plane part of the program. What do you think is gonna happen someone's gonna fucking blow up your plane if you tell them the flight number all right let me find the flight number hang on let's look at the actual flight number oh you tweeted out one time didn't you tweet out one time your flight number like does anyone have weed on dl4693 i told you it was a DL.

Don't bullshit me. Wait, I didn't see it. 787? It's not a 787. Don't be foolish. Is that the... That was the original one that he said, that's not and that was a 777 you fool you absolute fool that's just boys talking a little bit of plain chop

a359 jesus dude i hope you make it there in one piece is that a a rickety one? Oh, yeah. It's bad? Yikes! No. You know what I say? If it ain't Bowen, I ain't going. No. I just want to see what the Delta One looks like.

It better be a fucking... It better be a goddamn sweet, bro. Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah. Oh, that's not a sweet. That's barely a fucking... That might be wrong. I might be wrong. Oh, that's not a suite. That's barely a fucking. That might be wrong. I might be wrong.

Oh, sorry. Rome wasn't satisfied with the fucking box that he gets. You're literally in a cubicle and you're like, what the fuck? The fuck is that, bro?

So they're really fucking me, huh? Yeah. $10,000 for that bullshit. I thought this was an upgrade. Damn, dude, that's going to be awesome. You know what they say? The thought this was an upgrade. Damn, dude. That's going to be awesome. You know what they say. The flight's the best part of the whole thing.

I'm really looking forward to the flight so much. What are you going to get on the plane? What do you mean? Bloody Mary, beers, a couple Bud Lights. I had some Bloody Marys on the flight back. Really? Oh, yeah. I was fucking hitting that call button for more Bloody Marys.

When was the last time you didn't fly? When was the last time you flew coach? The last flight I was on before this one is that like devastating for you i don't mind any type of are you complaining the whole time i love i'm not a complainer i'm a low maintenance person yeah i just love luxury i just love to fucking be in some sweet ass luxury but i'm a low maintenance guy if i can if i just have i just need a fucking some floor to sleep on just throw me underneath the plane put me with the dogs dude if there's enough oxygen for the pups i could be down there that's first to go you know that's first to go she said that earlier when kate was talking about her cat she was like i'm not i don't want to have my cat fly down there and i was like yeah they're

first to go it's true if the oxygen pressure changes in a plane they just shut it down for below and all the animals die instantly i swear to god and that happens often happens like probably one out of every two flights nowadays though any dog is allowed on any flight oh yeah there's like a fucking great mountain dog on a plane with you there's like great dane that like sits across your lap yeah it'll be like a woman in the middle fucking aisle yeah sitting with a great dane like shitting on her lap dude when me and mook were flying to ontario or fine yeah it was to ontario i had one of those flights where it was like the people we had a layover in salt lake city and they were just like a little little too happy to be flying a little too friendly that's what i'm flying i'm in i'm in i'm in anger mode of course these guys

they're cracking jokes like i go up i'm going to my seat i've been flying for fucking already i already had i just got off of a six hour flight that's took off at 7 a.m i'm getting to my seat someone's in my seat and i'm like hey that's me i'm uh i'm in the window seat and i was like it was like 17d and she's like oh my god i had no idea she's like i kind of just saw 17 and just sat down and then everyone starts howling laughing like they all like apparently this already happened like five times and she was like and it's the dude behind me he's like why would we why do we have tvs when we can just watch this? And then everyone, and I was like, oh my God, I was so angry.

You're like, I'm a professional comedian. This isn't fun. Instantly, instantly through the headphones and noise canceling. Yeah. I mean, they should already been in.

I was so mad. So mad. These people were just yucking it up. They were just riffing. They're probably Mormons who have never, like their bodies never been touched by alcohol or caffeine yeah they just live on the natural high of being alive yeah just don't even like they don't come yeah they just are enjoying life so much they were way too happy to be flying to ontario california they're what kb wants to be

like they're actually living like clean they're perfect they're pure they have no artificial dopamine pumped into their brain at any time in their life no just enjoying the conversation of they're probably telling the same story that i'm telling right now but they're like this was the funniest thing i've ever seen in my entire life this lady sat in the wrong seat on the plane and then i said why do we have tvs when we can just watch this there is like uh the airport, especially you're exposed to people who have like, uh, just no sense of jadedness or sarcasm in their life. Yeah.

I got through security the other day, this adult woman was flying with their parents and, the parents, like as they got through security, we're like, I chopped up a bunch of strawberries so we can enjoy them when we get to our gate. And the woman was like, oh, that's a great idea. And I got so angry.

I got so furious. And like, I shouldn't have cared at all, much less gotten angry. Yeah, they're just like sharing a genuine like interaction about strawberries. And I was like so pissed off at how pure and fucking untainted they were it's because they don't fly a lot yeah or like interact with like humans a lot yeah maybe it's just like the midwest like it's all hunky-dory that's what i was thinking they probably work with their hands yeah they probably like spend like less than an hour a day on their phones and like stand up a lot like chop wood and work physically are tired

at the end of the day get a clean like eight hours of sleep and eat square meals or something yeah probably they probably never hit a fucking sweet ass vape pen hell no they never even experienced kush that fucking clean ass taste of a puff bar damn that sweet sweet taste of the puff bar um dude should we announce that we're gonna start going to two shows a week yeah i don't know when but we are gonna do that when everybody leaves we're gonna start going to two shows a week which i don't really know when any of that is happening i mean brandon leaving today was wild yeah it was it was like, damn. Brandon's just gone.

This was the last day. He just decided out of nowhere. He was like, yeah, I'm going to move tomorrow. And that's it. So that's it for Brandon. Yeah. And then I don't know what's happening. Dude, you are gripping that cactus like a fucking remote control right now,

or like a fucking video game controller. You're fucking tight squeezing some spikes right now. What the hell is wrong with you? The old familiar hand. Yeah. The needle tears a hole on my I grabbed a cactus

today. What hurt more Brandon leaving Or you squeezing the fuck out of that cactus See the thing is with the cactus If it doesn't catch you randomly You can like touch it You can lightly Yeah so we're gonna put the New York office

On our fucking back By doing one extra hour show a week Yeah we're gonna do one extra hour uh we're probably going to we've contemplated doing it live i mean nothing's set in stone obviously we're still working out the fucking the nitty-gritty but we're thinking we're going to do like a lot like like live as in like youtube live yes something like a live stream or we'll just do normal we don't know but we're gonna go two times a week i think the dynamic of the show is gonna change a lot because i think it's gonna be a lot i think it's gonna be a lot more fresh that's the word that

was coming to my mind as well because it's not that our thoughts are stale yeah but it's just like we like we had a bunch of we could have talked about today that we talked about on the act and that's pretty much every single episode especially because we record right after the act we record directly after the act and we have to pretend that we've just seen each other for the first time like james corden sitting down with someone yeah yeah some guests oh good to see you yeah i've heard so many good things about you doesn't even know their first name yeah um but yeah i think it'll be uh i think it'll be good i think i'm hopeful dude i can't it's gonna be fucking awesome i think the show's gonna do start doing pretty pretty good yeah the numbers

i think some of the yak fans are gonna be like man i'm miss sass and ron time to invest my entire life into this podcast and it's just gonna be approachable it's gonna be easily approachable we're gonna have some of your favorite cast members from New York on. We're going to have some of the best fucking comedians in the world on. Best in the world. Yeah. Musicians. Musicians.

Actors. Photographers. Athletes. Studios. Influencers. Maybe a studio. Maybe a studio. Perhaps a studio.

That would be very nice. And we're going to keep your salary your salary keep my salary right at 50 yeah anything that we add to the show is going to come out of what you would have gotten paid more exactly so i don't we'll see like i tried to bring up the point like i want to go to two times a week maybe i should get more money and they said uh-uh that means we're gonna have to pay all the producers double the amount and i said take it out of my salary. And they said, Roni needs his Delta One Suites. And Roni needs his Delta.

He needs his $10,000 flights to Africa. I'm going to be fucking zooming over there. Oh, yeah. It's going to be incredible. Yeah, so that's kind of, as I see it, new strategy for New York as far as we go. New strategy for New York. Just have a fucking good time. Yep. Bunch of games.

We're going to be a lot of games. A lot of gizmos. Gadgets. It's going to be like going to a bar in Austin where they have a ring toss game. Everybody's having a good time. We're thinking about we're going to become like a lav podcast too. Yeah. We're going to be free roaming. None of these. We're going to be like a streaming setup. Real physical.

Where like six of us are all facing the screen at like a different depth from one another. Trippy angles. Yeah. Really trippy. Like we're probably going to do one where the camera's on the ceiling and we're like laying down. Archie stuff. Yeah. Archie stuff. Live streams. Watch alongs. Watch alongs. do one where the camera's on the ceiling and we're like laying down artsy stuff yeah artsy stuff live

streams watch alongs watch alongs beers strippers strip gay porn gay porn transgender porn straight porn you get it you guys get it you guys are getting it you guys get it you guys pick up what we're putting down the new strategy is going to be fucking sick we're going to change drama drama steaming hot drama the home for all of your barstool drama is going to be right here we're going to bring people in to argue you you wanted kelly keegs and fucking the mean girls to two-on-one mud wrestle oh yeah it's going down here you come to son of a boy dad there was a scene in the idol where uh tedros just had a fucking super soaker full of vodka just spraying bitches in the face of course he did actually it was tequila spraying bitches in the face a lot more sense that's gonna be us that's gonna be us that's gonna be us in here

we're probably gonna hire some like little side characters and by little we mean beetlejuice type thing yeah yeah challenge we're gonna be we're gonna have our own little whack pack around here okay so put in your applications now for if you're if you look weird as hell that's also thing we're looking to expand the team if you have a funny voice looking for like 200 to 300 new employees. Yeah. We're the new big brand at Barstool. We want someone with. We have a lot of studio audience. Oh, hell yeah.

A laugh track. We need a laugh track. Like a 90s sitcom. Yeah, there's big things coming up. RFK Jr. is going to join the squad. Totally. So that's going to be sick. Totally.

Now, now that's still in production. They're not ready for it, but we are opening up a big art house where we're going to be filming basically whatever we want. So it's the beauty of the stool. It's the beauty of the stool, whatever you want. That's how fucking Wallow broke it down,

dude. Six years ago, he got out of prison with just his phone and the clothes on his back and now he's a fucking multi-billionaire same thing's about to happen to us i'm gonna plug my freaking dates if that's cool no no bro now i'm gonna be in huntsville al, Alabama, July 14th through 15th. God damn, bro. Why do they have you go into these non-place places?

I don't know. That should be fine. Then I'm going to be in the Punchline in Atlanta, July 21st to July 23rd. That just got over-announced. I'm going to be at Philly Helium Comedy Club, August 10th through the 12th. You need me? Sure. Arlington Draft House, September 14th through the 16th. You need me? Sure. Arlington Draft House, September 14th through the 16th.

Side Splitters, Tampa, Florida, September 21st to the 23rd. Portland, Oregon, October 5th to the 7th. Chicago, Zanies, October 12th through the 14th. So go get those tickets at little Sasquatch website dot com. Use promo code Rone for free tickets. Also buy some merch. Buy some son of a boy dad merch. Buy some son of a boy dad merch. Listen to the Pat Bev show.

Watch Out of Order. New episode just came out last week. Two weeks ago. Watch Out of Order and watch Out of Order. New episode just came out last week. Two weeks ago. Watch Out of Order and Watch Out of Order. Stop listening to the act now. You're giving our worst performance on that show on purpose. Intentionally.

Alright. We'll see you guys next week. And we'll see you guys next week. And we'll see you guys next week.