Son of a Boy Dad - Nick Murphy Returns | Son of a Boy Dad #280

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

Nick Murphy Returns | Son of a Boy Dad #280 -- Harry & Adam are joined by a friend of the program -- #Ad: Go to the App Store and download the free Experian app now! -- #Ad: Connect with a provider at RO.co/SON to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you and get $15 off your first order -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. All right, shall we? All righty, welcome back to the son of a boy, dad podcast. Today it is March 3rd. We are here live from HQ3, joined by Nick Murphy, reoccurring guest. Thank you for having me back.

Thanks for being here, bro. I missed you guys. Of course. You're the man. Of course. Unfortunately, you could tell that Sass is a little bit sick. A little bit is downplaying it. That's why I'm all the way over here.

Yeah. Keeping distance. Well, good thing we were in that tiny ass green room together all weekend. We just did a whole weekend together. Yeah. Dude, the day you weren't there was a bad day. That's the first question I had. How'd it go?

Yeah. No, no, the shows were great. Oh, good. Yeah. I really amped it up a level. It was a flu game for me for sure. Nice. But my god, was I sick.

Yeah. Yeah. And then yesterday I woke up and I was worse in hell. Yeah, I kept on waiting for mine to get better and every day it got worse. And I'm positive that I got sick from touching that fucking money. That dirty, dirty money. I've been having Francis and Sass play Madden and I'll like give them like 600 600 bucks to the winner but in ones and ones are the grossest fucking dollar bills possible we went to this place called the Claremont Lounge on Monday night in Atlanta it's a very tongue-in-cheek strip club yeah it's like old ladies oh yeah yeah I'm familiar oh yeah I've heard of that as well yeah it's

hilarious they do have so as a friend of mine said, they do have some conventionals as far as strippers. But but it's mostly old ladies. They're just funny to throw shit out. Anyway, the dollars there were in the Chernobyl explosion. It's like, I think they just rotate them. Yeah, they're just radioactive. They don't even look real. You know, it's just play dollars. You're just whipping buffalo nickels at these old bitches. Yeah, just like foregone currency. They don't care. They'll take whatever Really candy bars up there Just some prunes They put like a basketball goal like in between their leg, it's great they have fun with it Really? Yeah, they'll hold like a bucket in between their thighs.

They'll like, it's a whole thing. How old are they? They let you just, I mean it's a dart board. You're smoking them hard? You just fire them in there. Get a rebound? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you do a little bank shot, you know?

Cause it- I made one and everybody looked at me and was like, I know her. Yeah. She's an easy shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is's an easy shot. Yeah. Is it like retired old strippers or is it? That's an excellent question.

I don't know if they're, if they're, if it's like Tom Brady in season 16, you know, they go to the box for one more thing. Or is it someone who's like, I've never tried it. I'm 65 now. It's a really good question. I, I, some of them are like staples of the place. Uh, Blondie is the most famous one. She's been there since like the 1800s, I think.

It's been a very long time. So she started when she was young. I mean, the place grew with her. Yeah, it's very lost. I mean, it's been through renovation. Anthony Bourdain, when he came through Atlanta, RIP to the great Anthony Bourdain, he did a whole expose on the Claremont Lodge.

It's a hotel. It's like a famous hotel. They renovated. So yeah, there's some that have been there since forever and then some new hires, but it's not like Magic City. Like if you go to an Atlanta strip club, the main one, the staple is like Magic City. That's where all the rappers. Yeah, that's what Mooc was telling me about. I'm sure. What the fuck does Mooc know about?

Mooc, well, he was just explaining it to me. He was like... I stood outside one night. I got the gist. I saw who was going in and out. On night one, we like finished the shows and Mooc was like, I stood outside one night. I got the gist. I saw who was going in and out. On night one, we finished the shows and Moog was like, fuck, we're like an hour away from Magic City. And I was like, what's that? And he was like, it's just like super famous strip club that all the basketball players go to. That's where Louis Williams got in trouble with the chicken wings. Remember that during COVID? And he was hanging out with Jack Harlow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was out of quarantine in the NBA,

when they were in Orlando, like, well, you're in trouble. Yeah, Mook's exact description was that you wouldn't be able to pull James Harden away from Magic City. No way. Yeah. But he also, he's the kind of guy that throws like a quarter million dollars in a night. A honey bun.

It's a honey bun, right? Is that a hundred thousand? Is that what they call it? I have the terminology, right? Jamie, look that up for me. What's a honey bun? Do we have a honey bun. It's a honey bun, right? Is it a hundred thousand? Is that what they call it? Jamie, look that up for me. What's a honey bun? Do we have a honey bun? It's in a lot of Lil Baby songs. It's either 20 or 100. I don't know.

It sounds like it's 100. Honey, 100? Is it only for 100,000 or could I start saying that about just like a hundred dollars? Well, listen. Like if I do a spot and I get paid a hundred bucks, can I call that a honeybun? I wouldn't. Is it a black room? Did you do a black room? I like that Mook even was like, fuck, we're an hour away. Yeah, yeah. Why did he say it like that? He was fully prepared to try and get out. So he wanted to go. He wanted to go, yeah. And pull out the GPS.

Yeah. Get his red head ass just in the middle of all that. Yeah. What if he's just been saving up his whole life. To go to Magic City? Has a duffel bag full of 25k, a quarter honey bush. I don't think they would allow Claremont Lounge dollars in Magic City. Does that make sense?

Yeah. I think they need to look like dollars. I mean, the dollars that I got and gave these guys for the Madden game. Yeah, what are you getting your dollars for? I went to them. I mean, I went to the bank, but I've done two competitions already. And by the second competition, they were out of single dollar bills. Like they just didn't have any more. So we had to go up to fives, but they're so slick and like dirty and like. They've been through some shit.

Is that how many Madden games you're playing that your bank is out of ones? You know what's going on? I guess so bro. Fucking Rones here. I've never seen a bank get wiped out of money. Yeah. Out of the lowest denomination of money too.

Because no one's going to the bank being like, let me get some ones. You're coming back in with a duffel bag like, they're going OT. We need some more man. They did bro, they went to double OT. It was actually a classic. I heard it was a great game.

It was a classic, yeah. Are you pissed off about it? Oh yeah, I was at the time, I'm not anymore. Yeah, you got over it? Yeah. Was it just the one game or is there like a rematch that's just gonna happen? It was just one game.

Well the thing that, the thing though, the problem was that, I think I explained, I told you about it but it was like. Oh you did tell me this. Yeah, he got the Bills. We did the three random yeah, he got the bills I got the goggles, but you didn't want but I didn't but everyone was like well No, it's gonna be a total blowout if I do the Eagles, but I told you just push push all

And then I went with the Packers yeah who I guess sock in Madden Yeah, much better team in real life than they are in Madden. People are on your ass about it I think people need to let up on you. They didn't even realize that you were starting to get sick I wasn't starting to get sick until Until I checked into the even That's the name of the hotel. Oh, yeah, the even in Alpharetta. How was that even? Dude, honestly, it was like a spa. It was like a weird like health hotel. Yeah. I like a health hotel.

They only had like healthy snacks. That's so unlike though. You walked out of there with cancer. Yeah. That sounds like shit. They want me to check back in. Yeah. You gotta stay forever.

Yeah. Or else you just keep getting sick. Right. You uh, it seems like you've been like sweating. Like you're so sick that like, it's like the sweat's like kind of matting on your sideburns and like No, I think it's just from my headphones. Oh really? Yeah. Okay. Like I was wearing My my hair was wet and I put my headphones on. I've been sweating. I've been sweating so much in my sleep. I haven't been sweating I just have been free. I haven't been able to be warm in the last three days. I told them I rolled over and it splashed

Dude, it was fucking gross. It was so gross. Just from sickness? I've been so sick that I've been just sweating in my sleep. And then I thought it would be over and then last night I just had a fresh bout of sweat. It was a splash? That's insane. You sleep on a high dodge? It basically was.

I rolled over into my own puddle. It was so disgusting. And then what do you do? Did you just accept it or do you? I got up and I just was looking for a towel and I couldn't find a towel in my own house. I was just delirious. So I just splashed back down.

Campbell, get back in there. Yeah, I just jackknifed back into bed. That's gross. Dude, I fucking, I woke up yesterday in Alpharetta still and I was like, I think I might, I genuinely was considering staying. And like being was like I think I might I genuinely was considering staying yeah and like being like I think I just need a day to just do just to not move my body but then I was like no that's fucking it I'm not staying in Alpharetta for another day yeah so I flew home

and I took Tylenol and I was like feeling fine but then like halfway through the flight it just like hit me hard yeah and I was shivering you need a parka set for this kind of thing Yeah, I mean this is like a movie your patient zero and then yeah, yeah It was ugly. Yeah people were definitely like it was I tried to hide it as best as I could but by the end of the Flight it was very well known that I was clearly sick. You're the guy Yeah, I went I went to the bathroom like eight times to blow my nose. Yep Oh you were blown in front of everybody now No, and I was trying to hold in coughs,

but then they would eventually they break through. That's respectful. Yeah. You gotta do it that way. Yeah. Cause otherwise everybody hates you. But holding in a cough and then it breaking through and it just erupts.

Yeah. It's like, you're like, and then it's like, the guy next to you hits the fly kind of thing. Can we do something about it? Can it be in the fucking pilot's closet or something? Because when you hold it in, it's just like a... Yeah, yeah.

It starts coming out of your ears a little bit. The guy next to you is like, you were great this weekend. I just wanted to know. Those shows were awesome, man. That's so brutal. We got a tale wrote about Waffle House by the way cuz we get arrested Did he get arrested? Oh, he told you about it. No, I didn't get arrested. I got pulled over. It's pretty funny Yeah, I got pulled over directly like right before getting into Waffle House. Yes, you could see it on the GPS Yeah, what happened with that? I guess I just didn't have my lights on it was your tail lights, right?

They were in daytime mode or something. Yeah, it was some it was like an older car and you had to have them. There was no auto. I didn't even know that was a thing. I didn't know that was a thing either. Until you guys got pulled over. Yeah. I think with a rental, I mean, they can't say shit. Like, did he give them... Well, I was like, sorry, yeah, it's a rental. And then he used like, I'm gonna need to see some ID. He took both

me and Mooc's ID, which was weird. Can't do that. No, I thought that was a little odd. He literally, he's not legally allowed to take the passenger's ID which was weird. Can't do that. No, I thought that was a little odd. He literally, he's not legally allowed to take the bachelor's ID. And then he came back and he was like, why are you in a rental? Cause I'm not from here. Like what was the answer he was hoping for?

He was very like, he was hoping to get something out of that rental question. Yeah, yeah. Oh, cause we're smuggling drugs. Oh, we stole it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause there's bombs in the back smuggling. Oh, we stole it. Because there's bombs in the back seat. That's why. Also rented.

Yeah. In Alpharetta. Yeah. And then he was like, where are you heading? I was like Waffle House and he's like, almost made it. Did he really say that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You were really right there. I was I was looking at you from the parking lot.

Oh, you saw them. So I was driving behind them. They slowed down and I'm glad they did because we were, I mean, we weren't going too fast, but Alpharetta, anywhere outside of Atlanta, they don't really fuck around. There's so many fucking cops. Dude, they are crocodiles waiting for the buffalo to go. That's all the cops outside of Atlanta. Yeah.

So as soon as you guys slowed down and then I saw it and I slowed down and then you guys got nailed and I was like, oh, that looks like that sucks. And I just kept going. Yeah. But it was that close. I was watching. Oh, we were right there. I were at the tournament. I can't stop picturing you guys just getting out of the car as he's like having a waffle, looking through the window.

And I would get you just get fucking shot. You and Moog just get lit up by two alpharets. And then I'll just be like, I'll take Jack. I need to go help these guys. We had a real character at Waffle House though. Some fucking, some old lady. Andrea, I believe was her name. There's always an old lady.

There's always like a pretty tough black guy. There was no black people here. I think he might have been the cook. Was there a pretty tough black guy. Yeah, there was no black people here I think he might have been the cook. Well, they're black dude. Yes. Oh, there was definitely a black girl Though there was somebody some there was some black there was a black person there. There's some we'll take quick commercial break and figure out What we were all looking at? No fights though. Yeah, because there's out. I mean it's, again, it's a little further out. What's the make up of Alpharetta? I don't know anything about Alpharetta. It's like, pretty nice?

Well yeah, it's a more affluent suburb outside of Atlanta. Yeah, it's the suburbs. So it's not gonna be as crazy. So yeah, there's not gonna be like fights at that one, you know. So it was a rowdy old... But she was giving him shit. That's what was funny. The lane was? Yeah. Not realizing this guy just headlined for an hour.

And she was just taking shots at him. Like he's just some guy. You know? He just headlined five minutes down the road. You're not a plate cleaner, are you? Talking shit in my face. Really? She came over and she put one of the fucking Waffle House hats on my head.

I took a picture of her putting the hat on his head. It was very funny. Let me see it. Yeah. That's how me see it. Yeah. She got it in here. Hey, it's actually little boy. And then I took it off and she was like, oh, you're no fun. But that's all she had. But I took it off like 15 minutes after she put it on.

I wore it for a while. You did rock it, huh? Yeah. Oh my god. And then I was like, I don't really want to wear this thing the entire night. That's how they flirt. That's how the ladies flirt. Oh my god. There she is. Oh I don't really want to wear this thing the entire night. That's how they flirt That's how the ladies learn. Oh She's adorable

She's actually been working there for 32 years what yeah? mildly dyed red hair Do you think that there's much of like my upward mobility structure at Waffle House? We were we were talking I was discussing that with MOOC I think about like Waffle house we were we were talking I was discussing that with MOOC I think About like what like you'd assume if you're been there if she'd been at that spot for 32 years There's like six other Waffle houses within like a five-minute drive of there I wonder if she's just like the manager of all of them or some shit or she even knows they exist Yeah, she might not she might might just be her one

Yeah, yeah there for 30 years. She just lives next door and has no idea how big the world is. Yeah, like a bodega in like a suburb where it's like an Indian dude and he lives directly above it. That's an amazing existence. It could be like that. Maybe she just lives above the Waffle House. Yeah. Super respectable existence. She was acting like it was her house.

Yeah. She was giving you all kinds of shit talk. I mean she was yelling to everybody. Yeah. Like it was like, it was just like a show. Yeah. It's awesome when you run a restaurant like that and you can be in charge and you're breaking everybody's balls. She was trying to break everybody's balls. Yeah. And then she said something about God and then I jokingly said God's not real. She didn't like that at all.

She did not care for me saying that. And then she goes, she hated she goes, well, I just believe that everything that was predicted by the Bible has come true. And I go like, what the cyber truck? It was like, but there was a good like 30 second pause after you said, God's not real. Yeah. It was like, well, I think he is. I've never heard that before. No one's ever suggested that to me before.

That's her one place on earth. She doesn't get outside opinions all the time. I listened to a podcast about Walmart and the people that run Walmart. And there was an update at the end of the podcast because they said a manager of a Walmart store makes $400,000 a year with incentives and then they updated they're like that this podcast was was recorded 18 months ago now the most you can make as a

manager of a Walmart is $600,000 a year damn so what up? It's yes fucking that's sick. that's sick. That's an incredible career. Yeah for one guy. I bet the wages of the cashiers went down. They got to supplement that somehow. The entire floor of people that can't unionize. Yeah, yeah. A week later it's up to a million.

We just laid off half the store. This is great. I make all the money now. Yeah. Yeah. How do you become, is that job that you have to have experience for or do you work your way up to that? I think it's like the woman at the Waffle House who someone put 30 years in or something like that. So you started as the cashier and then.

I feel like that was just a thing from the 50s, man, where you could grind your way to the top. Yeah. And now it's like, you're just gonna get stuck. I'd imagine it's probably pretty tough to start it as a cashier at Walmart and then suddenly you're making $600,000 a year. There's no suddenly.

Yeah, yeah, imagine though. It's a gradually or never. There is, that's not a thing at Walmart. It's store managers too, but their point was that if you're a store manager at a Walmart, then you can go to like any Home depot or Lowe's or like Anywhere else and you course become a store manager. I'll go to Target. Fuck it You think I won't walk?

Walk to Target right across the street. They call your bluff You go call Jerry I know Jerry. You're gonna go call Jerry again? I know Jerry. He's at Staples now. And guess what? He said the benefits are great. And he hates your fucking guts, pal. Oh my gosh.

I don't know, dude. But that lady at Waffle House, I had a roommate that started working at Waffle House. And it was like Uber where every time he would tell you, he had like an excuse. He's like, I mean, this is like 10 years ago or something. He's like, I mean, 35 K out of the gate. I mean, he's like that kind of shit. Like it's not bad that I'm doing this. Please agree with that. But then he would come home in the hat. You gotta take the hat off before you come back in the doghouse. Just like bloodied with the roommates. Just like his knuckles scraped up, like limping in.

Just white knuckling on the driveway. I'd rather work at one of the ones where there's fights than work at that one in Alpharetta. Right? It's more action. Yeah, I mean that was, we were. You have to break up the fights. It was us and one other dude who was at the show. Yeah, and then he paid for our food Oh, yeah, you know, no, he didn't sit with us. It was like Batman Yeah, it was great that is that's the nicest way to do it Luke fan

He had been to a few some what yeah, he's our MOOC said that he's like a regular and on his stream, right? That's so nice. Yeah, that's fucking huge of him. But yeah, I guess you know having MOOC around pace Totally totally that's why you have a fucking big dog like that Right get him down to Magic City, too. Yeah, they probably scared it off stream from Magic City Yeah, those guys definitely the guy definitely listened to your guys conversation in there though He seemed fucked up when we got in there, I don't know he's all the way over at the bar. He was at the bar I Have no idea really what you boys order has you probably order like a fucking pro all-star special Yeah, we all think we all got the all-star special

It's a showdowns with cheese on top I think we all got the All-Star special. It's easy. Hash browns with cheese on top. Chicken sausage, which Andrea basically pushed me to get. She was really pushing for the chicken sausage? Over the regular sausage. Yeah. Why?

That's the kind of shit you care about when you work there for 32 years. Is she saying the regular sausage is that gross? No, no, well, I just think it was the chicken sausage. The chicken sausage was that good. Oh, it was that good, yeah. I thought it was fine. It looked fine, yeah. It was pretty thin.

What was the Christmas? Chicken bacon. I didn't get any bacon. I don't know if anybody did. I got bacon. It was not great. How about the waffles? The waffle was great. The waffle was great.

Some good... Sometimes the waffles are a little bit floppy. It was a little floppy, but it was good. You need some structural integrity to these waffles. I feel like these were good. Throw them in long enough. Honestly. I need to were good. I throw them in long enough, honestly Yeah, I need to get them well done. Yeah, well done waffle. Oh, dude I had a fucking lady one time speaking of that

I ordered my waffle and she brings it over and she like shakes the plate in front of my face and she goes Is that good? Are you want to put a little more on that like like put it back on the thing for a little longer? It's like what am I supposed to say to this? It's a fucking waffle. No, I'll eat it now. I was not done at all Oh, she showed it to you. It was like a wet waffle And she's like medium rare. Yeah, she's like is that good? You want to throw it back on the grill for a little bit? I'm like, can you even do that? I thought it like forms On the thing, you know, it's just jiggling in front of you. Yeah, you put it in the toaster Yeah, microwave my waffle?

Throw it back on the fucking pan. Yeah, they don't give a shit, man. That's foul. But I mean, I like most things a little bit underdone. Like pancakes, I like with a little bit of batter in the middle. Obviously cookies, you want a soft cookie if you're making like a plate of cookies.

But those will cook afterwards. My wife made some cookies yesterday, and then by the time you go for the a plate of cookies. But those will cook afterwards. My wife made some cookies yesterday and then like by the second, by the time you go for the second round of cookies, the ones that were soft are hard now, which is fucking brutal. Happens. But I just wanted to make sure you heard that story.

So you got the Waffle House vouch. Cause I remember we talked about that last time. I know, I was talking shit on Waffle House. You were talking like shit. And I've stifled it since then. It was pretty good. We did not witness a fight. I don't think I've witnessed a Waffle House and I've stifled it since then. Yeah, it was pretty good. We did not witness a fight. That's that's I don't think I've witnessed a Waffle House fight.

That's you got to be there like four o'clock in the morning in the city. Yeah, there's got to be already like a lot of cars in the park, a lot of action going on. Because all it takes is one like slip up. Like if that lady said, is that good on the waffle? Some guy just pulls a gun out. It's just like, you know what I mean? Flips it out of her hands. And now we're off to the races.

Now we're all world star. Are there chairs at most waffle houses? Or are there most? Yeah, but I think they're like drilled into the ground. That's not a real place. I mean, like, are they, can you pick up something to throw? Like is it booze and booze? I'm pretty sure I've seen chairs thrown.

I'm pretty sure they're drilled in. There's been some WWE action. they're drooled in. There's been some WWE action. Oh, they're locked into the floor. Folding chair to the back of the head. That's really what I was thinking. Count them out. Yeah.

Like in the World Star Waffle House fights that I've seen, are there like flying chairs or is that by design? I know, I've gotta see, I've seen some flying chairs. Yeah, I feel like I have, or at least like by the front when you're waiting. But they'll go get the frying pan. They'll just hop over there. They don't care. They're not gonna be like, well, there's like I have or at least like by the front when you're waiting, but they'll go get the frying pan They'll just hop over. They don't care. They're not gonna be like well. There's nothing I can throw. I guess I shouldn't be angry Yeah, they'll find something. They'll find like a thing of just stuff like boiling grease

Yeah, just throw it on someone's face or somebody get a weapon out of their vehicle We got the strap in the trunk yeah, or the bubble bubble- but they don't even have like- there's no like frills. There's no like bubble gum machine at the front really. Like there's not like the tattoo machine or something like that. You know where you put a quarter in and pull something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not even really decorat- is there decorations on the walls? Like pictures of anything? Not really, right?

Like artwork? Yeah, no artwork. No, it's definitely pretty bland. It's all business. It's a lot more bland than like like a Denny's is a little bit more of like they got a little Americana This feels like you're at a diner. Yeah, yeah waffle house feels like you're at a waffle house for sure But it hits the spot like I mean, that's what it's for. It's for hidden. Yeah, I was starving You know didn't have to get more food after just went to bed, right? It's good slop. It's strong slop Did you where the shows shows were pretty good shows were good. They're fine. I thought the shows were great

Yeah, bar still crowds are pretty tight. Yeah, cuz I did so I told you before we started I did some with Francis in DC. Also, it's just like They're just ready to go man. It was awesome Every time I've done shows with you guys.'s great he said it was pretty good here there was I'm trying to think if there was any bad shows maybe that that early show on Friday it was a little tough what did you do to ramp it up being sick like were you like sitting out back like taking like deep breaths before they called your name no I think it's uh you know what it is is uh I know this because I think it's a you know what it is is uh, I and I know this because I think it's like you you're

fully focused on being sick so that you're I'm like I wasn't nervous or Concerned about anything about the show about your own shit Yes Then you just go and you do the jokes and you deliver them confidently because you're not really paying attention and then they do well Could they tell was your voice a little off or dude Dude, yeah, I'm fucking wiping my nose every 30 seconds. On your sleeve. Yeah. But I was worried about the early show on Saturday because the Friday early show

was a lot of older people. And I was like, well, then the Saturday early show is going to be all old people. And it was. But they ended up being great. Sure. They were great. And then the Friday and then the Saturday late show was so little amount of like 30 people. It was great. It was a blast. Yeah. On Saturday? Saturday Late Show. Wow. Yeah it was very very it was like two rows of people. Huh. Yeah. I feel like you like that. Oh love it.

Yeah. Yeah. You prefer that over like a full. Well I mean no obviously I would prefer it to be sold out but uh. Not even money wise I just mean like performance wise. Oh well I mean, no, obviously I would prefer it to be sold out, but uh... Not even money-wise, I just mean like performance-wise. Oh, well, I mean, I'm so used to performing for 50 people. Like at the stand, that's like the usual. I'm performing for 50 people, that's like what the rooms fit. So, when you're doing an hour in front of 50 people, it's just like you're doing a long spot. What would you do if you're sick as fuck for a show? Like, would you bail on a show if you're?

As sick as he's saying that he was or is it the kind of thing you front fucking road with the microphone amongst my people Share what you have with that for me brother. Let's get started. Let's do this We're all going down tonight. I never I never really considered canceling you guys just push through some yeah I just load up on like any histamines and whatever. Yeah, that's kind of what I did I just took a shit on a date I mean you don't drink anymore, but I've had some shows where I'll drink enough and then Whatever that goes away Loved fucking Shane's couple of beers

That was great fucking perfect. Yeah, that's my medicine Yeah, a couple of beers the little bump part was a little bump was great. Yeah perfect. Yeah, that was hilarious. That's my medicine. Yeah. Couple of beers. The Lil Bump part was hilarious. The Lil Bump was great. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway.

I think McKeever wrote that. Really? I think he tweeted that out, that he wrote that. That wouldn't surprise me because it did, it was very funny. But like the ending line, the wife's like, I forget what it is exactly, but she's like, you gotta, well you stop, you gotta stop. And he just looks at the camera and goes, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was great.

Yeah, but anyway, yeah, I, you know, will drink a little bit, antihistamines, whatever Tylenol, just rack it up. You got a show to do, you know? Yeah, I feel that. Unless I'm like deathly ill. Unless I was like puking at what's gonna cancel. Puking is a problem, yeah,

cause then obviously you can't be throwing up on the front of the line or anything. But it was really, yeah, I mean, for almost to the part, you can just take shit ton of Tylenol and power through. One time we had a pop punk show in Denver and it was fucking like a sick show, like a thousand people there just going nuts. And then the next day we flew to Indiana. We had like a show at like Bloomington or something.

And I was so fucking sick after the one show Like I could not stand Like about before the Indiana show just like doubled over had nothing inside of me and like you just have to get on stage and like I Didn't feel the sickness at all when I was on the adrenaline kicking. It was I was like standing on like a scan Yeah, like, a little scanchion, like, screaming to the people. But yeah, the adrenaline, I think.

You surprised yourself. Yeah, it really was. Jordan set the precedent for what is inside all of it. I basically was doing the exact same thing as Michael Jordan. You're right. Yeah, you had to rise to the occasion. Show up. But does adrenaline kick in like that for stand-up?

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. You don't think of like that for stand up? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you don't think of it as like an adrenaline rich show, especially like if somebody's going in. Well, not when you only sell two rows of tickets. That's neither here nor there. Well, the first show was packed.

No, no, no. All the shows I was on were packed. I'm fucking with you. The first show was packed. And then I was like, so that one, the adrenaline definitely did kick in. I will say, the second show with the two rows of people, I was up there and I was like, that one the adrenaline definitely did kick in I will say the second show with the two rows of people I was up there and I was like I am very sick right now Like I was thinking that in my head while just showing them your test

Yeah, it's tough because like there are people there will be comedians who have like kind of muted delivery and stuff like that So you don't think of them as like coursing adrenaline. But they are. I think it would matter based on your style. Like if you're a more monotone guy, I feel like you could hide it better than if you're Dane Cook and you gotta move around when you're up there and you can't.

I had my in-laws in this weekend while I was like sick as fuck and so we had to like do stuff. So we like went to the museum of food and drink. And there's something where you like put electrodes on your head and they get your like brain readings from before or after you taste like something sour or something chocolatey. And my brain waves, they were just like reading like ones out of 12. Everything was at like the lowest level possible. That's why I was just dead. Yeah, I had nothing to give to the world Oh, that was when you were sick when I was a regular day. I mean it might disappear I have to go back to test against the baseline

Like my beta waves were at a like a flat one, which is I don't know unheard of for me I genuinely do think that you can do better at things when you are sick though cuz like Like what I did I remember when I had food poisoning when I was at golf camp in middle school And I had food poisoning so I've told this story a bunch of times, but I had to shit in the woods This is like day one of camp right next to your bowl. Yeah, pretty much Yeah, but that was the best golf I've ever played in my entire life nice I couldn't I couldn't have a bad I didn't have a bad swing once because it was just zero part of me was focusing on golf isn't that interesting yeah cuz you're heightened

everything else yeah worried about shitting yourself I was worried about cheating my I kind of figured it was cuz you couldn't like wipe your ass fully so you had this like kind of small film of shit between your cheeks that gave you a nice glide to your swing. Yeah, that could have done it. I could have done it. You sound like a coach explaining why this is like a good thing. You want a good glide.

Use the shit. You want a good glide between your cheeks. Lean into the shit. I've never in my entire life even believed in like no wipers. You know how people would be like, oh yeah, it was a no wiper. I shit, I shit I didn't have to wipe. Yeah Rory Scoville do you know who that is? Great comic he's been in some movies and shit now but uh he has a great joke about that where he's like you ever wipe your ass and there's nothing on there? He goes you even trust that? Yeah yeah yeah. You gotta go back down for one more. Yeah yeah

exactly there's not so so from that there's literally never a no wiper because you should always be checking no matter what and probably be checking a second time. Well, I hope you check at least once. No way you're just shitting and walking out of there. I nailed that. You got a full shit in your ass still. But I think that there's some people who really trust their poops to that level that they think that they could just poop and like know that that was a no wiper. I don't even know what they're feeling for if they have more like nerve endings in their in their butthole or whatever. But they gotta put your electrodes on their ass.

No activity. Oh shit, that was a one. But I have had two shits within the last like month where like I wipe my ass and there's There is the first time in my life. I've wiped my ass and there's no poop I get those I get those here and there I've never it's never happened to me really I don't I don't fundamentally still don't understand what's going on. Did you do anything different that no? It was normal shit must have been a lot of fiber that day you think so fire would make it less 100% Really? Yeah

I know it makes you less cop constipated, but would it make the Shit stick to your cheeks less or whatever you like your ass comes out more solid really yeah I can watch you guys debate this for Your conspicuously not chiming in. Yeah, I want to see you guys get to the bottom of this. You're very obviously not chiming in here. As if you have some kind of secrets to hide about your no wiping, your absolute lack of wipes.

Dude, how about our huge victory this weekend? On what? In the, uh. Oh, the retards' choice awards, oh the retards choice awards. The retards choice awards. Oh I love this topic switch. What was this? Some dude on Twitter makes like a poll like ranking uh like like a March Madness bracket

for podcasts for comedy podcasts. Nice. And we've never been in it and I think I complained last year about how we've never been in it. You complained away to who? I think I said on year about how we've never been in it. You complained away to who? I think I'd said on the podcast how we were. Oh, really? We're never in any of those brackets that we never make. And the joke world does one, too. We never been that.

And then they put us in the retards choice awards. And we were in. We were getting dog walked by. We got put round one. We're up against Matt and Shane. Well, wait a sec. So this is a good you want to win the retards. You want to you sec. So this is a good, you want to win the retard choice? We want to win, yeah.

Yeah, you want to be the choice of the week. And it's just voting. It's just online voting. Yeah, yeah, it's voting. There's like polls on Twitter. Yeah, you're going to get dog walked by Matt and Shane. We got dog walked. But then I quote tweeted it and I said, terrible first round matchup.

Well, sure. You guys are the 16th season here, brother. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But we ended up, we ended up beating them. Are you serious? Yeah. Wow.

Because, well. Who's retarded now? Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it was strictly because obviously they didn't, they're not promoting that. Well, sure. Yeah. Yeah, but whatever. She's like, Shane's going on a story right after he finishes his monologue on SNL. Like, yo guys, don't forget to vote for the retards. No fucking way. Just wrapped up my monologue. Don't forget to vote for the retards choice award. Just giving his phone to someone. No, he plugged it at Just wrapped up my monologue, don't forget to vote for the Retards Choice Award. Just giving his phone to someone. No, he plugged it at the end of the monologue.

Well, he's still up there. We got a great show. Retard, get your votes in now. Tate McRae's here. Ryan Seacrest here is counting the votes. Tate McRae's here. Do not forget to vote. Get out and vote.

Yeah. Tate, get those tits over here. Come on, check these tits out. Get on your phones, please. Yeah, they're calling it the biggest upset in the Retard Choice Award. History. All right, so is it still going?

Yeah, that was round one. So we're still in the game. That was round one. And then the second round, we just beat. Dude, you guys are Albany State. Yeah. You're down in Virginia. I know.

We are. We're UMBC. Or whatever it was, UMBC. Yeah, yeah. The second round already happened? I know. We are. We're UMBC. Or whatever it was, UMBC. Yeah, yeah. The second round already happened? Yeah, we just beat. Now you won again. Yeah, we who?

Story Wars. Really? No, no, no, not Story Wars. What's fucking Samorail and? Oh, we might be drunk. Yeah, we might be drunk. Look at you guys. Samorai.

All right. All right. I'll take that. Once again, you're probably the only ones from over there. Yes, 100%. It's like if Virginia just didn't play, they just didn't show up. And then UMBC scored 90 points. We fucking did it! The first 16th seed! But then the commentators were like, get all these retards over here, man. Dude, half of the comments are like, what the fuck is son of a boy, dad?

See, but that's what you want. I don't even know. Right. Those are asking the questions. They're like, why are they winning so much? They're the guys that don't wipe. It's crazy. We are. I mean, that's two blue bloods. Yeah, we might get some new viewers from this.

We should turn around the Rogan kettlebell. Dude, that's exactly what you want. No, we can't show them that show. They said that the face of the Rogan kettlebell. Dude, that's exactly what you want. No, we can't wait. Show them the kettlebell. They said that the face of the Rogan kettlebell always, it keys on the. Oh, it does. It focuses in. It focuses on the Rogan. We'll flash it for a second just to let people know. This is your team logo right here, this face. That's on your jersey right there. It really is. Joe Rogan kettlebell. That is so funny though. It focuses on Rogan. You guys have the best prop department. I thought we had a

good episode when I was here, and then a week later, this guy's shoving the Washington Monument up his ass. Oh, I know. And I'm like, oh, they're gonna forget about me. These guys are good, they step it up every week. Where did that come from? It's right up here. Oh, there it is.

Right there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It looked like the Washington Monument or is that something else? It might just be a shape. It might just be a thing. Yeah. No, it's the Washington Monument shape.

He's like, I felt it. That's Washington up there. That's why I haven't needed a wipe ever since I had that all the way up my ass. But yeah, we're basically in rarified air right now in this tournament. How many rounds left? It was how many podcasts you said? Like to start? So we're in the Elite Eight. Excellent.

It was 32 to start. Yeah, but we're going eight. Excellent. It was very to start. Three more. Yeah, but we're gonna have to go up against like Kill Tony or some shit. It's Tim. Okay, Tim Dillon, we're gonna get smoked. Okay. No, you just gotta have Alex Jones on. Yeah, true. Yeah, we might have to really promote it. Yeah. Start pushing. Well, we didn't push the last one we won. Yeah, true. So but listen, you guys, we did the first push you've made. Yeah, like. So but listen you guys we did the first distance you've made Yeah, like the money the money that a mid-major gets just for making the elite is insane the recruits like it's so Now you're gonna get recruits like it's so good for the next class

Now we're on the map so then the other side then it's story wars and war mode on the top half War mode. War mode is gonna win it all. Then Legion of Skanks and Sodor. And then Rogan and RU Garbage. Rogan is in the thing? That's like, dude, that's like a pro team in March Madness. And we're in like the women's bracket. Rogan versus son of a void dad. Versus women's basketball.

We gotta get it to Rogan versus son of a void dad. That would be a bummer if Rogan won. He doesn't need that. We need it. Of course not. The Orlando Magic don't need to win March Madness, but they're playing this year. They want to show off. We need this badly. Yeah, we do. They can't fuck us over. All these other people are all these, I mean, they're established. How big is the following of this retards choice award I don't think it's that big okay so it doesn't really matter it's getting like like 4,000 votes per like is the thing that you're not in was that bigger the whatever you were tweeting about not

being in the other one joke world one I think we were not is that bigger than the that's definitely bigger yeah I just like saying that. Retard's choice award. Well it's also you basically have the free pass to say it as much as you want because it's the name of the thing. Yeah. Yeah but also I just say it anyway. I need no one's pass. It's in my half hour watching on YouTube.

Holy shit. We had that problem on one of the shows. Yeah? Oh that's right. Everyone had a bit saying Retard. Everyone had a problem on one of the shows. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Everyone had a bit saying retard. Everyone had a bit where they said retard. And then this guy comes out opening with retard and bombed.

They were retarded out. They were done. I'm saying, they were like, yeah, we kind of, we get that. That is a problem you can run into. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, but not like, cause it's offensive, just cause they've heard it.

No, yeah, exactly. Cause it takes the flavour out of it. Yeah, it's funny when... Oh, well funny follow up on that. So the last show I did with you guys, Mook and I talked, and I didn't need, I just did mine to mix it up, like that wasn't a bit I needed to do, so I was like, oh dude, I'll just leave mine out, you guys do whatever you want, and Mook's like, oh yeah, I'm not gonna do mine either, it's all good.

You switched our spot in the lineup yeah right before me and he and I don't know what the decision was if he if he wanted to close stronger than he thought he was gonna close but he's closing bid he goes right into love on the spectrum oh yeah it's different and then he's shaking his head and he's walking out of stage. And he comes up and I go to shake his hand, he goes, my bad dude, I didn't mean to do that. I wasn't trying to do that one.

I was like, dude, don't worry about it, it's fine. I wasn't gonna do one anyway. Moog's the best, dude, he's a G. Yeah, he's so nice. But yeah, you can definitely get to retarded out. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's why you need something else spicy. Did you guys keep?

Like the N-word. The N-word choice awards. There's no N-worded out. You let that one go. I think it becomes more shocking the more white people that do it. It hits harder every time. By the third guy that's saying it.

These guys don't give a fuck, man. But also. This is crazy. Imagine if we won the N-word choice awards too. Oh yeah, that would be such a no. That would be big. Antonio Brown tweeted about it, man. This is crazy. Imagine if we won the N Word Choice Awards. That would be big. Antonio Brown, tweet about it, guys. That would be huge. That would be awesome.

We could definitely use that. The crackers of the day. He'd give you a pass probably, one time. Definitely. He's insane enough, I think. I think he would. 100%. He's still, or, he's still fucking.

I'm sure he's still fucking. I saw him with like Larsa Pippen. Antonio Brown? Yeah. Yeah. He's fucking. Why would he not be? No reason. I think he's still fucking. I think we agree. He's definitely still fucking. But I saw him with Larsa Pippen one time. I think everyone's been with Larsa Pippen at this game.

I can't name them all, but like... Because she was just on Traders with Michael Jordan's son. Yes. And then there was another kid she's really she's getting passed around a lot. Yeah. That was the funniest one though because that's like you know Pippen's always had his thing with Mike and that's just one more thing that Mike sort of is doing to him to fuck with him is my son is now fucking your ex-wife. You think that Jordan's doing that? I mean he bets on everything I don't know.

He had a wager on it. If your son fucks someone, do you get that? Do you get credit? Yeah. In some way. Is that like a notch on your belt? Yeah, I think so. Well, if your son scores a touchdown,

you get some credit. That's half a point. You think so? Yeah. That's in your genes. That's your, you know. That's, I mean, sick. That's peripheral pussy. Yeah.

However you say it. Yeah. Whatever the technical term. It kicks up the chain. Yeah. It's like pyramid pussy. You're like, that's part of me. But it's got to be with like an older, well,

you can't do that with his high school girlfriend. Well, that's what I'm saying. That's why it's got to perverse. I'm actually taking you to prom. Yeah. Like that girl from Ole Miss. Oh, true. No, you can't even talk about that, bro.

Oh, really? Are we not allowed to? Oh, no, I mean, we can. Because it's all alleged and funny and- As long as we say alleged. Yeah, but I think Barstool's getting sued. Yeah, too early. I saw they put a statement out

that they were gonna go after people that were still saying it. Yeah. Was there any actual, I know there was a lot of speculation, a lot of posts. Was there proof proof? This really happened? a lot of speculation, a lot of posts, was there proof proof? Like, this really happened?

Because they denied it, didn't they? I have no idea. Oh, okay. I tried to, I don't know. I thought you guys were... No, we looked into it a little bit, but at the same time, I thought that it was pretty ironclad. Now the fact that they're suing back makes me think that, I don't know, that nobody can

prove anything. Right. Or maybe their name has just got dragged so much that they're like we have to fight back Yeah, so they look like we didn't do all this stuff. Who's fighting back the the girl or the dad? I think it's the family of the girl, right? And I think the I mean maybe that dude too. I think the guys like I know my dad didn't do this I think I had this David. I know my dad would fuck my girlfriend. Me and my dad would have fucked the same chick before.

We would definitely not do it with this chick. Yeah. That's gotta be a tough conversation to have with your dad. Right. That's so weird. Even if people are just speculating. Dad, I'm not gonna be mad. Just be honest with me. I promise. Did you fuck my girlfriend?

Yes. You said you weren't gonna get mad. Oh my god. It is so juicy I do want to talk I just don't want to get in trouble. Yeah I don't want to get in trouble either. But I can't be scared. We can't be scared of getting in trouble. I don't really have anything to say. We also don't know. We don't, I don't want to get in trouble. Yeah, I don't want to get in trouble either. But I can't, we can't be scared. I can only speculate myself. We can't be scared of getting in trouble. I don't really have anything to say about it. We also don't know. We don't know. Do you guys want to win the Retard Choice Awards? Yeah, true.

There are sacrifices that have to be made. Yeah. You guys are slinging arrows. Yeah. Just all directions. Sacrifice our job for the Retard Choice Awards? I would do anything. I'm fucking choked.

Yeah. Just sleeping by a dumpster six months from now. Fucking worth it. Just wrapped up in a printout of the Retard Choice Awards. Yeah. So sick. Me and Mook went fishing. Didn't catch anything.

Did you go a second day or just the one? We did. It's still nothing. Big mistake. Big mistake. I was so sick and I was like, I guess I'll go for like an hour or so. Push yourself too hard. Big bites, got a lot of huge bites on the streamers. Shout out to Alpha Red Outfitters.

Did you get those waders? No, I didn't. Everyone was telling me they were like, you know you do have waders? And I was like, I just lied and said yes because I didn't want them to tell me I can't go without waders. But I got there and I just wet w waited. I just wore my quick dry pants. The water wasn't cold at all. Socks? What socks were you wearing? Hanes.

You got your Hanes wet? Yeah. And wore them all the way back to the hotel? Like you drive back and change your socks? Oh true, true, true. But uh. What does Moog do while you fish? I kind of feel like he sits there on an iPad or something.

Pretty much. Streaming. He wanted to go. Streaming, streaming his head on stream. He wanted to go. I mean, we got him a fishing rod. We got him just a $20 rod from Dick's. And I mean, we set him up well, but I know he's not gonna catch anything. He's just going through the Magic City Instagram

while you're fishing. Yeah, pretty much, yeah, yeah. How much longer? He should have just dropped you and gone for like a midday magic city. Yeah magic city I would have gone with mook. Yeah, I've never been to magic city in my life. So really yeah, it's hard to get in I Don't know the answer to that. I would imagine it's like a it's probably hard to like Stand out to like have a bald out night. Yeah, it's a high end one, but it's probably still like a $20.

Whatever entry fee. Yeah. Cover. They got snow and maybe 40. Snow like coke. White strippers. Yeah. I would imagine probably. You think so? I mean, again, I've never been inside the building. And I like at first I was like, how can you live in Atlanta? And I have gone to Magic City. But I like I haven't been to I've been to like one strip club in all Philadelphia

Like I don't know a ton of like strip club guys are there even strip clubs in New York? Definitely surely where? We've shot there's one in like 40th or something we shot something there interesting. I've never been to a strip club here You know I really don't really have any interest. It probably sucks. Yeah, they probably do. Actually, I don't know, I'm sure you could probably get, I mean it's New York, you could probably get

the wildest shit. I was in one in Croatia one time. Oh really? Yeah, it's one of the only other countries I've been to. How was that? It was like a Tuesday, and me and my buddy were on vacation. There's supposed to be a third one,

but he like broke his leg playing basketball which is another crazy story But uh, as soon as we walked in I knew it was a mistake because it was just the strippers It was like an open mic. Yeah, like they were just Doing little dances for each other And like I mean it was an open mic. Yes, like watching each other enjoying trying out new moves on the trial. New material Monday. Yeah. And we walk in and we just get laser locked on. And I'm like, Oh no. Like we're, they're just going to be, they're going to expect a lot.

I don't have a lot of money or whatever. We just want to check it out. But they fucked up. They gave us like the C squad. They were like hotter ones there. They throw a couple of octopuses over at us. And so I'm already checked out. I'm like texting like we got to get out of here. They finagled him into swiping his card on like five hundred dollars worth of bottle service. Oh, they separated.

They knew what they were doing. They took us into separate rooms. They were running plays on you guys. Yeah. But I knew what was up. Yeah. I used to be a strip club guy. Yeah. You're from a mayor? I'm from real strip clubs. Yeah, yeah.

You're not going to swindle me with your European magic over here. They just got strip clubs. Yeah, man. And so I knew to get out of there right away. And I'm texting him like, dude, we got to go. And I guess he like forced them to reverse the charge. Because it's also broken English. So they're like.

He forced them to reverse the charge. He you know, it's also broken English. So they're like- He forced them to reverse the charge. He somehow got them to take it off his card. They'll lead you over there like a blind person. That's what I'm saying. And it's broken English. So they're just like, do you, they'll say like, do you want champagne or something?

Just by you saying yes, you think a glass, they bring nine bottles of champagne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, well, you said yes to champagne. So you know what I mean? So he like, obviously he was like, okay, well I wanted just the glass. Give me my fucking money back.

And we blitzed it out of there. That was a mistake. That's nasty. Yeah, I've been- It was worth going, cause it was funny. I've been, I went to a strip club on a Tuesday as well. It was on my 21st birthday. I went with my buddy, Bo.

And we walked in and it was just us. That's the worst. Yeah. We sat down and one of the strippers just like shoved her tits in my friend's face. That's what they do. And then we were just like, let's get the fuck out of here. And then we were leaving and we were trying, we were like, let's go to Chick-fil-A. There's Chick-fil-A next door.

It was a Sunday. It was a Sunday. It was a Sunday. And we were like, let's go to the Chick-fil-A. And they were like, the manager of the strip club. Cause we were standing right by the exit. And he was like, Chick-fil-A is closed guys. It's Sunday.

He's like, lucky for you guys, we do a hell of a chicken sandwich here. And we were like, dude, we do not want your fucking, we're not staying here for your chicken sandwich. Can we take a look? Can we take a look at the sandwich? You should have, honestly. Then we walked to McDonald's,

and we walked through the drive-through, and there was, we tried to, you know, like, have you ever tried to walk through a drive-through? Oh yeah, it's hilarious. It didn't work. Really? I guess we- They wouldn't serve you?

There's some sort of thing that like detects if there's a car there. There is that but sometimes you can just go to the window Yeah, but you were by the Order thing and they weren't it wasn't working. Yeah, and then a cop pulled in amazing and he goes What do you guys want? Oh nice and we were like, oh shit and we gave him our order What do you white gentlemen want that I can order for you? And I thought he was gonna be like, like he got it and he comes back around. I thought he was gonna be like,

I got it, don't worry about it. And then he was like, it was $25.73. Did you have cash? We had to give him the exact change. Lucky you were just at the strip club. That's so funny. He just needed a car. Yeah.

I'll trigger it for you. For a price. You should have bought his really. Hell no. There's a lease you could have done for a boy in blue. True. Show a little respect. You could have used that, Makas. Yeah, crossing that thin blue line that's nasty of you.

Yeah. You never know. Because then you get pulled over in Alpharetta and they're like oh wait a minute. Yeah. You're the guy that bought McDonald's for the whole precinct. Yeah yeah in Denver. Carry on. Oh you're shit you bought McDonald's in Denver for that cop six years ago. Oh on your way you should have said something. That made its way down to Alpharetta believe it or not. We heard. Good news travels fast. He's not a rat, he killed a guy. Thank you for what you did. What were you doing in Croatia?

My buddy's Croatian, his family took me. I just had to renew my passport, that was almost 10 years ago that we went to Croatia. I heard it's fucking beautiful. It is, and I was just retelling that story to somebody it I mean they have this whole island chain all the vacation spots split Havar and then one more called I can't fucking remember but you're sitting there looking at the most beautiful view of all time You're like man. I could bring I would love to like bring a lady here, and then I look over It's my buddy James. Just sitting there like this is wasted Friends James, you know you best friend James you know you

always think James though he's a good dude yeah James but yeah that was it that was a crazy trip my buddy dislocated his ankle whooping like his foot was like off his leg oh yeah he was just going for a rebound and he came down on it damn yeah he wore low tops and so we had to get Croatian like EMTs, go to the hospital. It was a whole thing. How long were you there? They're making him order a bottle service. It was the whole day. I mean, yeah, exactly. Yeah, the nurse, do you want morphine? Nine bottles. But no, I watched them rotate his ankle back into place. And it's my one regret that I don't have it on video

Because we left our phones. We did the thing where you go. Let's just enjoy Another place and not be on our phones. Yeah, I'll never make that mistake Yeah, it sucks. You just you at least want to take pictures of the cool-ass place or if your friends fucking ankle Yeah, it was like a war zone. It was like, because you know, it flipped over and so everyone ran away from him. But that's my guy, you know? I can't, it's like Vietnam. I had to bring him down to the ground.

He's like, am I going to die? I mean, Kevin. Split the morphine to put his arm in. It was like a not as bad Kevin Ware. Remember Kevin Ware? Oh yeah. I played against him in high school. Really? Yeah Jesus yeah, he was good. But uh, yeah, but anyway, how is he now? What's Kevin Ware doing now? Is he uh, that's a good question I wouldn't he's gotta be playing pro somewhere, you know, there's so many pro leagues that people don't realize you don't have to be

I mean look at fucking a pat dev. Yeah, there's lots of pro leagues and but it's like you can play in Brazil Yeah, there's lots of pro leagues. But it's like you can play in Brazil. I know guys who play in Iceland. So you wouldn't even know there's a pro league over there. But they make great money. There's a British basketball league and it's literally called the BBL. That's excellent. That's awesome. He's a scout. Kevin wears a scout.

There you go. Yeah. He's also got a metal rod in his leg so he'll never break it again. Imagine having to break it through the metal rod though that metal rod just pokes through your fucking skin I mean, I think they made it's probably pretty tough for that to happen. I don't know I mean, maybe if you're like a car, yeah, I've never seen a bone break the way his bone his bone broke Yeah, it was pretty bad. It's pretty terrible Yeah, but they do I mean, you know, you cover it so people aren't throwing up looking at it So that's what I did put a t-shirt over my buddy's

But they were like chill. Did you actually soccer you put it to you? so people aren't throwing up looking at it. So that's what I did. Put a t-shirt over my buddy's ankle. But they were like children playing soccer. You put a t-shirt? Yeah, well, dude, because if people are, I mean, it looked like gruesome. Like his foot was off his leg. You ran towards the fire in a situation like that? That's my guy, man.

That's my guy, yeah. That's James. If it's some other jackass. It was not James. James was not there. Bears are the stroke club. No, no, James was hungover. Yeah, so he didn't come with us. Oh yeah, so we had to get in touch with him

somehow. We got two Croatian guys to go to our apartment, bang on the door. So now James thinks we're in trouble with the Croatian mafia. He's like, Nick, do you know Nick? He's like, why? So they had to get him, I get in the ambulance, we go to the doctor's office, it was a Sunday, so it was slow, the ambulance took like half an hour to get there, I mean he was hyperventilating. I mean yeah, because you don't want him to look at it. That's when people black out, when you see it,

then you black out, so if you just cover that shit. Was he like in shock? Oh yeah, big time. So does that mean you don't feel the pain when you're in shock or does that? I want to say yeah that your body just goes into that mode But again, it's like a visual thing where once you see your body disfigured like that Then you've really start to freak out. Yeah, sure. That was his last time wearing low tops exactly. Yeah Yeah, and so we get to the they bring the one doctor who's on call that day.

Yeah. And he sees his leg and just goes, ah, like this is the rest of my day. He literally did that. He's like eating a sandwich, fucking flops it down. The two AMTs, it's all coming back to me now, the two AMTs, they get there, they go up to my buddy and they like lift the shirt up and they look at my buddy and go, does it hurt? He got so mad. Fucking give me the fucking truck. Can you walk this off? But that was wild. The doctor, because it's dislocated. It wasn't broken.

So you can, you're supposed to just fix it. And he just sorta, he started to poke at it, feel it and give it a couple of taps. And then went for it and my body I mean he lost his fucking sure yeah just going nuts yeah and I watched him rotate from like whatever six to twelve and that's nine to twelve yeah it's like 90 degrees yeah and it was wild yeah oh into place and there's no like you can't numb that up right you just have to pop it back in. You know, dislocation, I typically don't. Like I've done this pinky twice. It doesn't straighten anymore. And they, yeah, you just kind of go for it. Mook dislocated his shoulder. That's a bad one.

Like last week, or two weeks ago. Yeah. At the Philly, at the Eagles parade. How did he do that at the parade? Climbing a tree. Yep. They fall? I don't know. But he said that after he was like, why the fuck am I climbing trees? Yeah. But now he said it's like.

You just wait for Saquon to lift you over the gate. Yeah. That's what you're supposed to do. Yeah. Like a doll. Yeah, what does he do now? What's Mukan do? I feel like there's so many kinds of.

He seemed fine at the show. I think it's like, he said it's like sorta it's pretty much back But he said that it's like it still hurts like he was worried about fishing He said that he wouldn't be able to he was said it hurt to reel in again a dislocation like my body I don't think got surgery or anything. You just have to put it back and then you're good to go. Let it heal itself Yeah, I think it just happened because it like recurs if that happens, right? Yeah, like it can continue to happen Yeah, like I said, I did I've done this twice one like upwards and one sideways. Just a basketball got tipped Oh, yeah, that's right into it. Yeah, it might club. Did you pop it back in yourself?

No, no somebody else did I get I wouldn't even know how to do that properly You know my shoulder pops out and I just like if I like roll it over it'll pop back in my knee popped out once What the fuck I was very young. Those are gross. I was sitting like this Yeah, like with Mike my leg under yeah And then I like went to like move it and it just like locked like it popped in a lock down And then I pretty much just had to hold my leg up like this and just like drop it and it's Swinged back in the position. Yeah, and it hurts fucking much at home You tell your mummy. Yeah, it was like my entire like it was like we were it was like a holiday or something

My entire extended family was there. I know folks who the the cap will slide down to the oh, yeah I've seen that it's that's that's gross too. That happened to a kid I went to high school and he was playing football and his kneecap went like eight inches into his thigh. Amazing. Yeah. Kneecap is just a weird bone as it is. Well it's just, I mean it's just kind of there. Right, there's no other bone that's really just like a fucking hockey puck floating in your body like that. We got bad knees in my family though. My dad when I was younger, he was, it was another thing where whole family was there and he was, he, we had like one of those bounce back things

that you could like throw a ball at and it would bounce back at you. Yeah. And he was, he was throwing a baseball at it and he threw it and he like when he twisted his, his knee, his leg like stayed in place. Those are tough. His leg was literally. That's when you know it's time to hang up. It was just backwards. Yeah. Yeah. Non-contact. Yeah. Not even what you were using. Yeah. Yeah. That got hurt. You know. Yeah.

And then he had to, my uncle had to drive him to the hospital. What did it want to be? Oh, he had to get like a big surgery. Like tore everything. Yeah. Everything was ripped. Yeah. Yeah.

It was fucking brutal. You fall down the stairs? No, I threw a change up. Yeah. Yeah. Into the fucking brutal. You fall down the stairs? No, I threw a change up. Yeah, into the pitch back in the backyard. The pitch back when I first got a pitch back, it was fucking awesome. Oh yeah. Those things were ruled. You know what I'm talking about? Also ruled was the one with the ball that you would just tether to a tree. Sure. And you'd just hit fucking home runs off of that thing. Oh, I thought you were talking about tetherball. No, no, no, no. Tetherball was fun too. That would have been too easy.

Too obvious. The ball you tethered to a tree. Oh, tether ball. No, actually no. Something completely different. Tether ball is fun though. I was never good at it. I always got into the position where people would,

they would do that thing where they would just grab it and they would. Yeah, just throw it. You start throwing it. It's not tether, you're not tether balling. You're not hitting it anymore. Yeah. Cause when they go down and then it on you when it gets to your side

Yeah, 20 feet off in the air exactly how how are you supposed to be good at it? I feel like it's such like a 1940s sport it's just other ball. I think it's exactly what I just said I think it's literally just if you can get control of the ball and well, I think that's why it's not in the Olympics It's not like a real. Yeah, it's kind in the Olympics. It's not like a real thing. Yeah, I think it's kind of like luck. It's for bullying people on the playground and establishing dominance in middle school. It's not for like...

It's for like one decently athletic person against someone who's not athletic at all. Yeah. Tall people against short people. Yeah. Type of shit. Yeah. Yeah, my grandmom used to have one in her backyard

and like, I just, I don't know why that was like the focal point exercise that we had that everyone was just playing tetherball she had one of her basement too she had multiple tetherballs yeah she's yelling at you in the backyard you get good enough I'll let you in the downstairs let you train inside Olympic tetherball yeah yeah so she was one inside just in case it like rains Jesus like well, I'm not gonna not we're not gonna not tether today

We came all the way to grandma's. Yeah We're gonna have a good ass time. All right, I gotta I gotta go. I'm dying. Are you actually? Yeah, we can't lose sass How long is it been it's been over an hour Has it countdown? Yeah, damn. been? It's been over an hour. Has it? Countdown. God damn I thought we were well over an hour. Do you have to blow your nose or anything? No. I got some fucking... We're not gonna make fun of you. I got this Vicks inhaler. I saw you putting it in your nose. Yeah it doesn't really do much but it gives you some slight relief. Could be placebo a little bit. Yeah. Doing your whippets over there. Okay guys, let's take a second and talk about

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Back to the show. Go out and get Experian. The Afrin. I've been on the Afrin. Yeah. But the Afrin just really just opens my nose at night. It is nice. But I thought that just having been able to breathe would get me through the night. Nope, dude

Just another our final 20 minutes talking about yeah, probably nasal Another wet ass night. We're gonna fix it. This is gonna fix the whole podcast Now whole body hurts yeah, I went through that yesterday I even talked talking to like my in-laws was very hard. Yeah, it was very I tried to play video games last night. Are they like minorities or what's the deal? Just like ugly. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's tough too. Dude, speaking of fucking minorities. Oh yeah, the smoothie. My fucking smoothie this morning. This is the final 20 right here. We go dude

I mean I sent it I texted you guys, but like it wasn't even like he didn't speak English I think he just didn't know how to speak word like I don't know I don't know if you knew any language Yeah, I don't know language. I would call him. I'd be like I'd be like you're at the wrong. You're at the wrong place It's it's three three three seventh Av and he'd be like I'll tell everybody where we are. It's a public address. Okay. He'd be like, one five one. What are you talking? What do you mean one five one?

You'd be like, okay, no, then you go, okay, good. So start there and then work your way. Take a left. Yeah. And he's like, forward. I'm like, shit. Dude, and I kept messaging him being like, dude, you're at the wrong ad. He

texted me he goes I don't have the code to get up the second floor and I was like there is no code. Don't tell people. We have security. We got security and they have rifles. I was like there's no code and then eventually it's like 15 minutes going back and forth. He's calling me. I'm calling him. I'm hanging up on him because I just can't understand. It's not such a funny first world problem. You're just trying to get a smoothie. I know.

And you're so angry. I know. And there's also places that sell smoothies all up and down this block. Yeah, but I timed it perfect. It was supposed to arrive the second that I arrived. You're making my point. Yeah. Yeah. Try that making my point. Yeah. Yeah. And then. Try that in fucking Pakistan.

Yeah. Like. And then I go outside. We can't get you. Finally. Okay. I finally. Finally I go outside and there's like eight Uber Eats

drivers around him. And I'm looking at. Now it's the, which cup is the ball under. Yeah, exactly. And I'm looking at him and I already can tell it's that it's the guy and They're all looking they're all looking at his phone and he's like I don't none of them have any I don't have any idea where to go Yeah, and and then also I look and they all they all start looking there's pointing down the wrong way

They're all they're all giving me directions to go the wrong way And I and I had to just yell and I was like Yo, and then I ran over and he was like, I'm so sorry So sorry, and I'm like, and I was like, I was like dude. It was right here I came in with a little bit of toot But then we ended it smooth sailing. I was like you're good. I was like, don't worry about it customers always right? Yeah, I was like, it's all right. You don't understand number. Okay. Numbers are the same for every language, correct? It's okay. You're

dumb. It's fine. It's not. I obviously didn't say it. Obviously, I didn't say it. You just don't belong in this country. But it's fine. Obviously, I didn't say that but uh that's like like numbers are are universal, correct? Here we go. Am I wrong? You're talking about the shape of them? This is how like the deportation conversation starts. Everybody knows numbers, right?

Everyone knows how many bubbles are in a bar. So right. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a little much. Was the smoothie worth it? That's the question. Not at all. No, not even good. I mean, you pounded it. That's what they were. They all. No, not even good. I mean you pounded it

That's what they were they were asked you didn't finish it, but that might have been out of necessity They were asking me that when I was downstairs Like the drivers now the people at the in the lobby excited guy they had to buzz me in like eight times Oh, no, I thought you just said no one has to get buzzed in Well, you do have to get buzzed into the front door to the office, of course I'm on the guy side. I see what you're saying. I'm on the delivery guy side.

Did you watch any of the Oscars last night? No. I watched some of them. Yeah. But I still, I mean, you knew more about the movies than I, you at least watched Anora. I watched Anora. And you said it was a sex, it's a fruity party. That's a stripper movie, right?

Yeah. She shouted out sex workers in her thank you speech. Yeah, right. For best. Which is hilarious. Yeah, she won best. That's like that's like fucking. Like Robert De Niro after Goodfellas being like shout out to the mafia. Thank you guys. The whore mafia. Yeah.

Shout out to you, bitches. It's like you will. You're a, is the actress a sex worker? No. No, she's just playing one on TV. She's just playing a sex worker. And the director also shouts out sex workers. What's that? No, yeah, she thinks she cool,

but the director also was shouting out sex workers too. It's like multiple. I think he won for best director. Yes, and they're all shouting out sex workers, and every time they say it, like, they get a bigger ovation Sure. Yeah, isn't that crazy? It is. I mean, I'm also pro sex worker, but if that's your I'm pro like I guess I'm pros. I'm not anti sex worker. I brought two of them with me to the Oscars

If you look at my dates can we get the camera my speech is done you can just put it over here I'm not I'm not anti but I'm not like, you know, I'm not like going out of my way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was how great are sex workers? Yeah. Well, if that was how great are prostitutes? It is a bit of like, you know, who doesn't get nearly enough love? Hookers wait for the ads on the pod. Wait for the ads.

But it did used to be scumbag-ish, if you were like, yeah, hookers, like, fuck yeah, but now it's like a bit of virtue signaling. Well, it's changing the terminology, right? So sex worker as opposed to, like even saying prostitute I think is now like, you're not supposed to say that. That's frowned upon? It's taboo? Why?

What's the connotation of it? That you're just calling him a dirty whore. I thought prostitute was kind of like a fancy word. All the syllables. I think that's escort. But like prostitute is like. That's what someone should, the second guy to go up should have been like, shout out to all the whores out there.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm giving you money for sex, you whore. Am I getting that terminology? What are your pronouns? What are your pronouns? I mean, we call this pay to spay. Oh man.

But yeah, sex worker I guess is what you're supposed to, because then it also is like, now you're an employee, now you're a contributing member to the economy. Yeah. As opposed to some dirty, filthy whore on the side of the street. Yeah. You know? No, yeah, you're the real deal.

Do you think they have benefits and stuff? Health insurance? Yeah. I think there must be just freelance. A blanket insurance for them now. It's got to like 100% be freelance, because it's not legal. Or even decriminalized, I don't think. No.

It's only legal in Vegas, right? In Nevada. Yeah. I think all of no, it's only legal in Vegas, right in Nevada Yeah, I think all of Nevada, but I mean only fans like agencies Maybe but I think a lot of them are pretty much my agent actually does he does hookers to As comedians and hookers. Oh, I thought you meant like he just he buys no no he books the gigs They're doing I don't want to post them gigs. They're doing, they're doing, he, him and Indianapolis. I don't want my agent to drop me for years after he hears that.

Yeah, dude, Sass went off the rails the last 20, dude. He was done after 40. Then he just started trashing his manager. That would be hilarious though. Like your agent was like, yeah, I book, I book gigs for, you know, comedians, hookers. And he just like mixes it up. Yeah, yeah. yeah slip it in there Yeah, you just had a queen strip club. I guess but yeah, there are other forms of Sex work porn stars. Yeah, only fans, right?

But it's so it's like it's a stripper a sex worker. Yes. Yes Yeah, I don't know if I agree with that because they're not having like actual sex Yeah, I mean they were they're dancers in a Noraora they were that's what they are they're dancers but that's a good dancer i think it but it's like sexualized i think oh that's on the consumer okay i'm not actually i'm the product i'm watching them to dance yes for their moves yeah that's like when people like that's what you tell your wife you to fed yeah yeah i'm just watching them i'm just watching dancers yeah i'm at the ballet sorry i get i i like dance you know i've always liked That's like when people like a really nice Sudafed. That's what you tell your wife. I'm just watching them. I'm just watching dancers.

Yeah. I'm at the ballet. Sorry, I get it. I like dance. You know I've always liked dancing. Right. With women. Yeah.

But in Nora in the movie, the strippers, fuck. Got it, got it. So they're actual sex workers. That would be sex work. So maybe that's when you cross the picket line. Yeah. And now you're a sex worker. Now you're a sex worker. I think that they're all sex work. So maybe that's when you cross the the picket line. Yeah, you're sex workers Now you're sex workers. I think that they're all sex workers I think that you you trying to take away the agency of these dancers who are sex workers is

Is anti Hollywood of you very yeah, very good point from ron just now That's nasty of you to try and you actually your label on there anti sex worker I think I'm just anti anytime A-list celebrities shout out something. Yeah, it's terrible. Any political opinion whatsoever. Okay, so we won an Oscar, which means now you're probably set for life, probably going to get booked on roles to make $50 million for one movie. Yeah, but think of the climate, Harry.

Haven't you considered the climate? I haven't., but think of the climate Harry. Haven't you considered the climate? I haven't. I haven't considered the climate. After you watched the brutalist with Adrian Brody, he won Best Actor by the way. And his speech was like 10 fucking minutes. Really? It sucked. They tried to play him off and then he was like, no, no, no, I'm almost done. And then he did like another like, you know, three, four minutes. I don't understand that. Why don't they just book the fuck, what channel is it on? Eh, it's one of the national watchers.

Book it out for like eight hours. What do you mean? So everyone can go long on their speeches? I mean, they're like always there, every single time someone goes up, they're like, oh, no, I'm definitely gonna go over my time. So I book jobs. They all go over their time. Yeah, it's like, so then maybe let's just like extend the time or like,

don't give out awards on the show for like best animated short. There should be fewer awards, I think. No one get like on the grand scheme of things. You know, like even the obituary section. Yeah. Yeah. Even the obituary section, like something like Gene Hackman, who just died. He got huge claps. Yeah. Chris Christ obituary section, like some people, like Gene Hackman who just died, he got huge claps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Christopherson, huge claps, like big.

But then they show like the art director on the third film of the something, and it's just silent in the whole. And that's worse. That's meaner. That's kinda fucked up. That's more mean to the person who died. I was like, geez, did you guys know? I don't think I knew.

I think we might've met him once at that. Did he sneak onto the death list? I thought he was kind of a dick when I met him. Well, that guy was an asshole. Yeah. Boo. No, the Oscars have all. I don't even know the movies anymore.

I used to at least be on top of what movies up for the Oscars. I'm just so out of the loop now. Same, I was scrambling to catch up with them or find out. But I didn't even feel the need to do that. If I had known it was a whore fest, I would have tapped into a Nora. I know, Nora was nice. But the Brutalist, I don't understand, it won like half the awards.

Really? He's like an architect that moves from Europe to America. I've heard of this. This is like a pretty low budget. Continues to be an architect. Oh really? I read the synopsis, I think. That might be totally wrong.

If I fucked it up Adrian Brody I apologize He won't be that bad. Your speech was too long and you suck. He's a fan. He voted for us in the retards choice awards. Yeah. Alright shout out Adrian Brody. We might lose his vote. Yeah he didn't shout you out of the Oscars. Did you see him play in the Zinn now? No no I'm almost done. The retards choice awards are right around the corner. Forget about these whores with Enora. They never dog each other. They always say like nice things. I know, I know. Like it's an honor to be in the same category as the rest of these actors.

It should be like, I didn't believe you're crying. I thought you were full of shit. They should, they should go up and be like, I won because I am the best. I'm the best actor alive. Are you kidding me? How easy is this job? It's acting. This is so stupid. We should give awards to jobs that matter. You ever see the Goodwill Hunting one where Matt Damon and Ben Affleck win? Yeah. And they go up and they're like shouting at everybody and they're like shout out Harvey Weinstein. Fuckin' love you.

Like we couldn't, we, none of this would have been possible without Harvey Harvey Weinstein. I can't wait to party with you tonight. He is a saint. This man can do no wrong. I don't care what people are saying about him. Harvey Weinstein shout out to sex workers. I was like when Norm went on the view and he said that about Bill Cosby. Dude, we were just talking about that last night.

Oh really? Well there's the Bill Cosby and then the Bill, or was it Bill Clinton? He is the same episode. Same episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you saying? I thought it was a matter of record. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The manslaughter. Yeah, yeah. Norm was on The View and he says that Bill Clinton, he's like, I think we should get the murder out of the White House. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Barbara Walters just like goes into should get the murder out of the White House. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Barbara Walters just like goes into shock. Oh yeah, they're blown away. But then they're talking about Bill Cosby and he's like, Bill Cosby is a great man.

He's like, that's a man who has no accusations against him. Which was there, I'm assuming there were their accusations at the time against him? Certainly, whispers. I don't know, maybe it's not publicized, but Norm knew what he was saying. Yeah. And then another fucked up part of, at least one of the times he was on was Joy Behar trying to give him shit for going on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

He should have won. He almost won the whole show. He's a smart guy. Yeah. I saw that. And she was trying to shit talk him. It's like, you're an idiot. You're going to look so stupid when he goes all the way.

Who, Bill Cosby almost won? No, no, no, no, no. What was the question they asked? I can't remember, but he had it and he just talked him out of it. Yeah, he was like, I feel like if I'm gonna guess this, it's gonna be this. Yeah, it was for charity. Yeah. And so he tapped out, played it safe.

Fucking Regis. Yeah, dude, RIP. That bastard. Yeah, but Norm's a legend for all that stuff. Yeah he was. Yeah, his appearance is on the view. His one on the view after he said, when he got in trouble for saying retard.

Oh that's right. And then he did. You'd have to have Down syndrome to think that I was, like he just doubled down on his previous accusation. He went on, yeah, he said retard somewhere and then he went on stern and he said that. He said you'd have to have Down syndrome. And then he was supposed to do Fallon,

and they canceled his appearance like an hour before the show. Blackface Fallon canceled on Norm MacDonald. How could he? They said that staff members were leaving crying because Norm showed up. And then he went on The View and he apologized and he does like a 15 minute apology apology where he's like the things that I said were unforgivable.

Almost like smirking at the camera. Yeah, it's so good. Yeah crying at that that's really planted up when you when they start sobbing. Well, I think it's because like 90% of the people that get into those jobs are, there's like obviously there's like good comedians that are in there with them, there's also a lot of just like theater kids and like- Of course. People who are like, I'm a writer. Live in Safety Town their whole life and then, man.

It's also kind of funny to be like, well, you have a job. I'd be like if Dave said something I didn't like, and I was like, well, I'm not working anymore. And you cried. And I cried, and I left the office. It would be a weird episode. It would be a weird episode, yeah. We'd still do the episode with you.

But people really are like that. Yeah. But I think, I don't know what that's due to. Like, they're just own like. Being babies. But like, but they're not thinking they're being's due to like they're just own like being babied But like there but what but they're not thinking they're being babies like they're thinking that I'm saying being babied like by their own baby Yes, okay. Yeah, it's let them I don't know if it's like If it's like they genuinely believe what they're saying Like what they think so much to the point that they're like emotional over it or if they're like

If I walk out of this It's gonna make me look sick and and my friends will think yeah like do you ever see They had a there's a video a panel. This is back when like the trans stuff was starting to get steam and people were coming on campuses and Kids were protesting. Yeah, jordan petersons and those types Well, there was one where it was just three like professors and it was, I think it was a lady speaking, and she was like, well, we can all agree that biologically, on average, men are taller than women. And a whole row of kids stand up and walk out.

And it's like, that's crazy. But they're doing it because they're with each other. They wanna look cool to each other. Yeah. Sticking it to the man. Yeah. Even though that's like an objective. Exactly what he wanted them to do as well.

Objective. Well, yeah. Maybe he's like, watch this shit, dude. I also am like very for people's right to protest, but I think that like people like walking out of like Jimmy Fallon is like a misguided use of your ability to protest Yeah, of course Protesting norm on Jimmy is not the same as protesting like Palestine now the war in Gaza Yeah, no or protesting for sex workers. Yeah

that was nice that they were doing saying all that stuff for sex workers as Kylie Jenner was just in the front row. You think she counts as a sex worker? I don't know. I mean, when you break it down, it's like, I don't know about Kylie Jenner. Has she ever busted it open? I don't think Kylie Jenner's ever busted it open, but like, would you consider Kim Kardashian

a sex worker? This becomes the gray area. Yeah. She is. Because she got famous for for sexing. Busting it open. Yeah. And she's continued to bust it open on camera since then.

She's a lawyer, guys. Yeah, she's a lawyer. And she's also, I guess it's also more of like a fashion statement when she does it now. When she busts it open now. Yeah. So I guess I wouldn't, I don't know if I would call Kim Kardashian a sex worker. She's a business woman.

But what is the problem with sex workers right now? Like why are we supporting? They're too expensive, right fellas? Let's get those prices down. Trying to get jade off in the bar stool office today I thought it's gonna be wolf of Wall Street when I came in here man. Where's portnoy passing out the goodies? It is bullshit. No, it's bullshit. It's like how like Yeah, no one said that before It's like how NIL money is like fucking up college sports.

Like all the money is fucking up these sex workers. Like the price of everything is too high. Everyone wants to transfer to try and make more money now. Well that's the thing that I struggle to understand is like, is like so I get like, yeah support sex workers like maybe like 10 years ago when it was like hookers were just getting killed on the street and everyone was looking for them. Like, yeah, obviously that's bad.

But now they're so empowered, you're like, what are we talking about? But now it's like, yeah, it's like, well, like sex workers now are like. Bad money. They're like worth like. A bad baby. They're worth like 50 million dollars.

Yeah, there's the chick that's making more than like LeBron. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, I think, like I get, there's obviously levels to it. There's definitely sex workers that are still like making zero dollars But it seems like it seems like the average I might be completely wrong and it might just be from what I see online But it seems like the average to say before most of the point

Yeah, I might be totally off. It seems like the average sex worker now is living like I hear what I hear What you're saying most people do they're met they'll make least like, it's not some of them six figures a month. Yeah. It's like going up on stage at the Oscars and be like, guys, can we give it up for tech CEOs? Yeah. Seriously, we're not getting enough of our support these days. Right.

It's true. Some of the, can we, what happened, who was the guy that got killed by Luigi? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. See? That guy. Who's looking out for those guys?

That would be my Oscar speech. It is crazy that CEOs don't get nearly enough support from Hollywood. Yeah. It's crazy that there are sex workers, like you said, that aren't making money. Well, there are, yeah. Which is, that's when you got to hop in Waffle House.

Yeah. 32 years. Well, it is also kind of a humbling thing, because say you try, like people think it's just a shoe in. Swing and a miss on us. For the six figures. But if you're a chick and you drop that 399 and you get like zero subscribers,

that's gonna be a punch in the pussy. Dude. That's gonna be tough to. That's gotta be the fucking worst. That's gotta be tough to grapple with. Dudes do it too. Dude, when I was big on Twitter Yeah

I was big into the Twitter world right there were a handful of dudes on Twitter that like when I got when I got hired at Barstool I sort of like Parted ways from like the deep world in internet Twitter sir sure cuz I was like this is fucking weird But like there was a good amount of dudes who were like pretty funny online who then out of nowhere They were just like I'm selling photos of my cock online now like there was a dude that was like there was a dude that like popped off and was like funny and then I know where he's just dropping full sex tapes online whoa and you were like with his girlfriend and you were maybe that's why you always want to fuck dude yeah yeah he had to get his foot in the door but it's like those are the like I'm not giving that guy a

shout out if I win an award. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe you should though. But it would suck if I mean, I hope that guy made a buck off of it. I don't think he did. It would suck if you made no money and you just couldn't. You can't be funny after that. But it's like I like I kind of see it. It's like, well, you just you're bad at your job.

You tried at something and you failed. But when you know, we all have to rap like there's people that try comedy and they do it for 20 years and they never get past open mics. Right. And then they start only and then they start only and then they get great. Is that crazy? Yeah, they start selling out. Because they have only fans. Yeah. How'd you do that?

But it's like at a certain point, it's like. Like, I'm all for I'm for supporting everybody. Yeah. Doesn't sound like it bro. I am. I support everyone in their goals but it's like. There has to be girls who think that once they like, once they drop the OnlyFans that it's gonna be like the Nas.

It's current. Yeah. Like they're gonna just hit the button and they're gonna be out of here. Yeah. Of course. It's gotta be so humbling. And then it doesn't happen for some of them. Dude, just like honestly,

if you're trying to be a sex worker, I think the move is probably like start posting on TikTok. Do like your get ready with me. If you're a girl or a guy, get up to like 10K followers on TikTok, and 5K on TikTok. Dude, you're set. Start teasing.

Then you drop, then yeah, you start showing a little more ass, a little more cock, whatever you gotta do. Yeah. Whatever you got. Start wearing some gray sweatpants if you're a guy. Yeah. And then yeah, you start showing a little more ass, a little more cock, whatever you gotta do. Yeah. Whatever you got. Start wearing some gray sweatpants if you're a guy. Yeah.

Boom. Drop it. Yeah. That's, you're 60k a year easily. The buildup. Yeah. You think, is there a... It's these people that are, they're creating a Twitter account and being like, check out

my OnlyFans. That's way too quick. No one knows you. That's way too early. Are there any markets you think... I'm not familiar with the body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think there's a market for regular to small penises on OnlyFans?

Oh, absolutely. I think the market for men on OnlyFans is better than the market for women because there's so few men doing OnlyFans. But you got a hammer and you're a guy? Yeah, but you're saying what if you don't? Yeah, I'm saying is there a market if you don't have a hammer? Dude, there's a market for everything. But there's probably that too, where it's like, hey,'t have a hammer? Dude, there's a market for everything.

Where it's like, hey, come laugh at my... Yeah, there's a market for everything in sex. No, bro. That's why I'm like... I don't think there is. Dude, if you had an inverted dick... Yeah, but that's different than everything. That's Barnum and Bailey.

That's a blue lobster. If your dick was just the head of the penis, it was just the head. And that's nice. Then that's good dude. You'd be raking in a million a year on OnlyFans. But I'm talking about some weird girl out there that's like, I love tiny dicks. Yeah. Or guy. Or guy. I bet it's a lot of men actually.

Yeah. It's probably guys. Photos of your stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Getting a photo of a straight guy. I wonder if gay guys like that way more. Hey, what did Mike say? Republicans buy Nikes too that's right whatever he said until fucking Kaepernick had to ruin it for all of us yeah then they stopped buying Nikes remember that they were burning the Nikes yeah it's pretty funny

yeah that's always a funny thing to burn your own shit yeah you bought about stuff so you burn your own property that's. You're mad about stuff. Yeah. So you burn your own property. That's what I never got about like, like Philly tore up Philly when they won the Super Bowl. Yeah. They should want to go tear up KC. Yeah. That should be the rule. Yeah.

You get to riot in the losing team city. That should be allowed. That should be what it genuinely. For one night. Yeah. I believe that. It should be a storm. Well, cause yeah, it kind of doesn't make sense what you think about it.

And then the rebuild is all out of Mahomes Pocky. Yeah. Yeah. And Taylor Swift. Yes. They have to rebuild Kansas City. Yeah. It doesn't really make sense to win the Super Bowl and then be like, well, I guess getting around town. Let me go ahead and burn my house. Fuck this place. Burning your house.

Honey, this is a good thing. We won, babe. Yeah, we won. Get the kids outside. I'll get the dog. Where's the gas? Eagles did it. They did it. But burning your like when LeBron left Cleveland and burning your LeBron jersey. Oh, yeah. Gayest thing.

It's insane. Yeah. And then he came back. How stupid do you feel? Yeah. Yeah. Same with the Nike people. Like you definitely that wasn't the last pair of Nikes.

Dude, well, people were burning. It wasn't like they were burning like Kaepernick Giles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel yeah? Yeah, say with the Nike people like you definitely that wasn't the last night easy dude Well people people were burning it wasn't like they were burning like Kaepernick jerseys are like shoes. They were like throwing their fucking just like dry fit socks. They're burning They were throwing they were burning like they're bare necessities Like you will probably they probably threw away They probably burnt all of their fucking Nike dry fit socks

My Nike golf and they went and they picked up like I like the Hanes 12 pack and they were like Fuck those Nike socks were way better for what it's like for what? What what is gonna happen because you burned all your shit up is the NFL gonna change their mind on anything? No You should not watch but men can't not watch football. They can't not do it. They're incapable. Every time, because they like the complaining. It's women watching the Kardashians. Yeah, exactly.

They like the drama. They like the complaining. It's fierce. They like to be able to bitch at something. Yeah. It's more than just like American dudes loving football. I think it's every country has like a sport where they love that same complaining. There's a market for the bitching. Are you guys affiliated with any of the talking heads? Steven a Smith's?

Yeah, I know any of those guys. Uh, I've said this before skip Bayless should be homeless Yeah, he should be a homeless man yelling at people that LeBron James is bad at basketball Yeah under a bridge. Yeah, you just walk by him. What the hell's wrong with that guy? is bad at basketball under a bridge. Yeah. And you just walk by him. You're like, what the hell's wrong with that guy? But because people want to hear him say it and they disagree with him, he lives in a mansion.

And he can offer his hairdresser a meal. Shout out to sex workers. Skip Bail is a pro sex worker. That's the only positive thing I can say about him. I kind of love him. No, he was trying to make a sex worker. But that's what I'm saying. You love the drama.

But it's like. I like his. I like his. I mean, I think he's fucking stupid, but I love when he shits on like the Eagles and- But that's what he does, that's his whole existence, is shitting on just stuff, just whoever. And his, the videos that he puts out are like some of the worst things you've ever seen but you just can't stop watching them.

I know. That one last year when the Cowboys got eliminated. What'd he do? Every year when the Cowboys get eliminated he takes his Dak Prescott jersey frozen trash he knows they're not making it to the third round yeah he's got 20 of them ready to go his next years yeah skip Baylor's died already videos keep on coming out yeah yeah yeah he had a banger when he put out when when the when the Eagles beat or when the Cowboys beat the Eagles last year like when they when the Eagles were on that decline and he put out that video and he was like

cry Eagles cry But you know some of his supporters like yo, that's a bar yeah, yeah, yeah here we go It was great, but he found his thing he found his dash. Yeah, it's it's just shitting on Well, there are he's also the alpha predator of that thing too. Like there's so many dudes at like Bars and fucking barber shops and like downstairs at the barstool office who are trying to do the exact same thing Yeah, like yeah, yeah call LeBron a bum. Yeah. No, no if I can yeah great that way He is he definitely is the best of the best at being a hater. Yeah, he's just a generational hater.

So I can say that respectfully. He's just like the best at it. Autist with like good hair and like a nice body kind of. Yeah, yeah. Stephen S. Smith is pretty good too. Well, of course. He's got more swag. He's got a little more, you know.

You know that Skip Bayless in like the mid-90s was like on a crazy rampage about Troy Aikman being gay No, it's hilarious. It was just like positive. Troy Aikman was gay. He might even wrote a book about it. Really? That's a fun. That's a big troll move. Yeah, write a whole book about it He like just was he he couldn't get off of the subject of Troy Aikman being gay And try to get up his head and might have shaken him up a little. Imagine not being gay. And the dude wrote a book about how you are gay. And you're the star of the local,

you're the star quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. The dynasty. As they win three championships. And then it's just the local sports report. That's all it takes, one guy. Yeah, it's kinda gay. I think you gotta write your own book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And be like, oh yeah, I'm not gay. That's what it takes. One guy. Yeah. It's kind of you got to read. I think you got to write your own book. Yeah. And be like, yeah, I'm not gay.

That's what it's called. Skip Bayless actually is a big gay. If you think about it, I'm not gay. No, seriously. Believe me. Yeah. It just is in detail of every sexual experience you've ever had. Pictures. Yeah. Yeah. Then he starts an only fans. Troy Aikman, not not gay.

It's just him fucking girls. Then he starts an OnlyFans. Troy Aikman, not gay OnlyFans. It's just him fucking girls. It's a wonder that Skip Bayless's career made it like three decades after... He figured it out. He figured the game out. ...accusing the dude of being gay. That could have been all she wrote. I bet we could look that up if they had to settle it or something. If Troy went after him. Can you search if he got in trouble for that?

Is calling someone gay though, if you write a book about how you think someone's gay, is that technically defamation or I don't think it could even be classified as that? If it's called defamation, now you're anti-gay. Yeah, exactly. Now you're being homophobic. That's what I mean. Yeah, I don't think you could even. You should be thanking him for being so welcoming to the community. I don't think you can sue someone for being like you're gay,

because then you could be like, wow, there's nothing wrong with that. I just think that's you. Yeah. Yeah. You're defending yourself. Yeah. Right. Oh, so you're homophobic. Right. That's volume two. Yeah. You got a lawyer. Skip wrote that already. Yeah. Yeah. If you lawyered up because someone called you gay, that means it looks bad. But if you defend yourself. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. All right. Well, this was a blast. Thanks for coming on. I love the pod, dude. Yeah. Come on, anytime.

This is the best. Yeah. You got anything you want to plug? Just keep watching my half hour. The Boy Dad bump is real. Thank you, boys, for watching who have so far. Fuck yeah, everybody watch that. And leaving comments and shit.

I very much appreciate that. Comments are key too, comment. And the upvotes too, all that shit. I know dude, but I get like, I can only say thank you so many times. I know bro. I'll comment on this one, how about that? I'll put it top comment, the boy dad bump is real,

parentheses, I'm not gay. Well I'm trying to get the boy dad guys to comment on your shit. Well that too, well yeah, but they'll see my YouTube account from this episode. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they can go directly to the half hour. Fuck yes.

Yeah, so thank you boys for watching. Well thank you for joining us. And thank you for joining it too, because that's why I got asked back, because we had a blast last time. That was fun as hell. Yeah, yeah. Thank you guys. Anytime brother brother and like we have like a hit rate of like one out of every ten guests We have on people like nice. So we got her

Use the ones that people like yeah Thanks. Good. All right. Good shit. My brother. I will see you guys on Thursday goodbye Still, still underground So, I looked older Till you came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting For was I So, so then you listen

Now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Vanished to your eyes Did you realize? No one can take me alive I was only falling one way

See it just a distant light, feel fast forever bright Call it just a memory, take my hand as you kiss me I'm Oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, No one could take me alive