Son of a Boy Dad - No More Games | Son of a Boy Dad #183

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

No More Games | Son of a Boy Dad #183 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is Monday, March 18th. It is 5.25 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. We are live from multiple different locations. HQ4 for me, HQ5 for Ronan.

Francis is in Doha. Francis is in Doha. Reporting live. That's what I'm getting per source, that Francis is in Doha currently. Where is Doha? Is that Iran? No, it's Qatar. Qatar. I knew it. Oh, the fucking World Cup.

Francis, you are low-key a savant of the Middle Eastern states. I like the Middle East. I got over 9-11 much quicker than most Americans did. I was very forgiving about it. That's interesting. Did you forgive Pearl Harbor as well? Sure did. To me, that wasn't my fight.

Now. I've been a big fan of Japan. In fact, the fact that they improved as quickly as they did and democratized and became the allies that they are to this day as quickly as they did after world war ii to me speaks volumes of of them absolutely totally i think that uh i mean we we struck a vicious blow to them and now they have uh that intersection where there's the big cat. Japan's back on top is what I'm saying. The big cat? The one in Tokyo?

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Sure do. I have not seen this big cat. Crosswalks coming in at one place together. What's the big cat? Speaking of big pussies, little sass is here too. Fucking kidding with you. What's the big cat? Speaking of big pussies, little sass is here too. Fucking kidding with you. What's the big cat?

Am I missing something on this? Big cat is the leader of the Chicago office. Oh, I thought there was a big cat in Tokyo that I'm not aware of. No, there is. It's at an intersection. Not to be confused with the leader of the New York office, of which there is not one, because we are communists. We're communists. We believe

in an egalitarian social state. Every day when I bring my lunch in, I scoop out 10% and put it in a communal trough out of which everyone else gets to eat. See, the thing with me with that is that i would never want why would you want someone in the office to be cracking your fucking ass all day i don't want a leader no that sounds awful i like to just do nothing the only leader i want is a leader the only leader i want is a leader of chocolate milk. Yes, a leader of cola, perhaps.

Leader of cola, yeah. Great wordplay. Yeah, you really can't beat that. That's fucking perfect wordplay. Am I looking quite red to you guys? I feel like I'm looking quite red. You've got a little bit of a glow. But hey, whoa, now you're definitely red. That light, mate.

When you turned the light on, you went translucent. I saw your thoughts. I saw a bunch of four-syllable words bouncing around in your head. It was kind of impressive, honestly. Dude, but I have... So I'm in Chicago right now. I have fucking news about this office. I want to hear about the Chicago office. I want to hear about the Chicago office.

I want to hear about the Chicago office as well. You know how they all suck their dicks about how hard they work and how much they love to be in the office, how early everybody gets in and shit? Yeah, I mean, they do that because they all fucking live in the office. No, they don't do it is what he's going to tell us. No, not even that. Just at 3 o'clock, everybody stops working and starts playing basketball and lifting weights.

Yeah. Like a fucking, like there was a whistle that went off and everybody trudges out of the fucking coal mines. Faces covered in soot. Fingers covered in fucking like printer ink. Like they're just, everybody is just ready to fucking like all the graphics guys, the people who are working on this show, I had to ask them to get out of a three point shooting contest so they could come and record dude.

There's a massive fallacy that everybody's just grinding 10 times harder just because they're out in Chicago. They're like it. Recess begins at three o'clock and everybody's just fucking balling outrageous I think they leave and they get home and they're covered in sweat and they forget that they played basketball

yeah they think they're doing manual labor they think it was just a tough day they're exhausted I was exhausted when I went out there but it wasn't from working it was from playing basketball all day dude when I went out there but it wasn't from working it was from playing basketball all day dude when i when i went out there i was sore for like a week after i left i was using the golf simulator the entire time i would probably i'd be in the new york office

a lot more if we had a fucking if we had a jungle gym in there but they think that they're uh actually like working on the railroad all the live long day out here yes uh and i really think you're right for it's just they've completely fooled their bodies into being like we actually are blue collar workers we are basket we're professional basketball players i can't move to chicago for the express purpose of avoiding serious injury from playing basketball. Someone will tear an Achilles or something in there in the next year for sure. Yeah. And it'll be like a pretty crazy moment, depending on who it is. They're lined up at the three-point line where like they're

shoulder to shoulder there's so many dudes in this three-point shooting competition and the only dudes who aren't doing three-point shooting competition are doing body squats on the side like everybody is doing physical labor the computers are empty you need to get a video of of all the computers of everybody working it's jake marsh and fucking danny conrad are the only two people on in any part of the office that are doing any work that aren't playing basketball right now it's shocking yeah i when i when i was out there for i texted mook the other day and i was like do you want to play video games and he was like uh no i can't i'm i got a show and then i'm and then i got to go to the office and it was like 10 p.m and i was like why are you going to the office that late

and he was like i'm gonna hit the gym i was like oh so that's just like a home base for you guys like you're just like i'm just gonna pop by the office do some fucking deadlifts yeah they have a very good workout facility that little strip of astroturf you could do a lot on there oh yeah great great stuff they need a sled or something like that to really work the uh the They have a very good workout facility. That little strip of AstroTurf, you could do a lot on there. Oh, yeah. They have great stuff. They need a sled or something like that to really work the front of the shin to get these boys' front shins really jacked. I got to get my front shins worked out.

I'm getting shin splints. Yeah, yours have been looking feeble as hell. I know. Yeah. You could actually use, I think, Sass, you could use some splints for your shins. A lot of gump. Yeah, some rickety braces that, you know, strap around your shoes and help you kind of keep your joints in line. Yeah.

I mean, I've been running this week and uh it's been it's been alarming alarming is actually underplaying it like the first time i ran i thought it was oh i had to sit down on a bench down by the water and i was like it's it's never good when you when you stop running and then you start getting more out of breath from sitting down like it's still your heart rate is still increasing after the run you also live one block from the water so that illustrates how far you had to go before you had to sit down no no i start running at the water so i don't i don't run no i ran my i ran a mile and then i stopped i know that you have the loudest steps when you run.

Oh, smacking the ground. There's no ergonomics to your body. Every step I take. It's not a rock or a camber. It's just the full surface area of the sole of his shoe is hitting the ground at the exact same time. Just flat, flat, flat. If you close your eyes, you would think it was Dana White's slap league.

Every time I hit the ground, it's the force of the entire world crashing down onto my feet. Gravity is not a friend. That has to fuck up your hips and ankles, but at least you're running in converse. No, I got my fucking new balances, bro.

Oh, really? That's actually huge. I picked them out with them. No, these. You didn't pick these out. Oh, I picked those out. No, I've had these for four years, five years. Okay.

And you'll notice that they are in almost perfect condition. Yeah, they do look pretty clean. That was the slide I thought I picked them up. Let's see the sole of them. I know that that soul has no tread worn off of it oh yeah i mean they're pretty much brand new i've i've worn them a couple times because i was training for a half marathon many moons ago and uh and then it got canceled because of covid i've told that story before but got to get back into shape because I'm going on this fucking hike in the summer. And it's 17 miles. And I can't fucking.

Thought it was 19. Or 19. I don't know. It's somewhere high in the teens. And I can't. I would die if I went right now. So I'm running. But I'm realizing that I'm in much worse shape than I've ever been in my entire life.

Which isn't surprising. But it's still.'s still not good. My heart rate hit 191 while I was running, and my Fitbit was literally saying STOP in all caps. Were you sprinting? It was like, stop moving. Dude, 940 pace. Heart rate 191.

Like, shocking numbers. Heart rate 191. Like shocking numbers. Numbers that like if I wasn't 22 years old, like they would have me put in a hospital with numbers like that. They'd be like, your heart can't take much more than that. 22 is almost like that's almost more of a red flag that you're just running at 10-mile pace and at 22 and your heart is about to

experience full failure i mean it says online that your heart rate max is 20 minus uh or it's your age minus 220 i believe and so that would be i'm like negative No, your age minus 220. So mine would be 198. Your age minus 220 would be negative. 220 minus your age. Sorry. You knew what I was fucking saying. Fucking assholes.

You knew exactly what I was saying. We're not letting you get away with shit today. You knew exactly what I was trying to say. I didn't because you don't speak well. I speak goddamn amazing. I got a quick thing I want to add. Yeah, yeah. Yesterday, I got home from Nashville,

and my wife and I went with the dogs in the car and drove to a sort of like winery deli type place and um it was out on long island strong island yeah and we were out there and it was cool and we were our dogs in the car and a waitress came over to us and said are you guys the owners of that silver tesla and we said yeah she said you need to come with me right now oh and we were like what she's like come with me right now and we went with her out to the car and she we looked in and and she said someone called the police from here to say that your dogs were overheating in your car what and they were just sleeping completely comfortably because the car was it was 50 degrees outside yeah what and we were like they're fine

what and she was like well we got a call from the police from someone at the restaurant who said that these dogs were suffocating. And overheating in your car. It's a Tesla. They were probably watching fucking. Homeward bound. Dude not only. Tesla has a mode called dog mode.

Where you can leave your dogs. In the car. And it keeps the temperature. Moderated at 65 degrees. but we didn't even turn that on because it was so much cooler than that outside yeah they'd be putting the heat on for that so then we went back in and we actually they were like cool about it they were like here just bring your dogs inside so we brought our dogs. And then I could not stop looking around, trying to figure out who had done this outrageous tattle. This completely off-base, Karen-esque telling, calling the police.

Calling the cops is crazy. The restaurant. Saying that they're overheating in mid-march is insane too they weren't even panting they were so comfortable what did you ever find the person that's that called or now i my guess is that they saw the dogs on the way out and called and left damn that would make me so on edge i wouldn't even want to bring that inside yeah what stop man that's such a foul indictment of of you guys as dog parents how bored do you have to be to do something like that to me that's almost akin to calling yelling fire in a crowded movie theater it's like such it's like saying the n-word to me honestly

how it's just the most offensive thing you could do it is pretty crazy it is just like you have nothing going on also maybe it was just like oh you mean delusional old person i in general i see i thought you meant saying it to you specifically i do see myself as a black man but that's neither here nor there i feel like that's got to be like a it had to have been like a 90 year old person who was like because old people like that are like weirdly obsessed with dogs like everyone loves dogs but old people are like i'd rather lose a child than lose my dog oh i think it's like i think it's like the woman who threw shit at me i think that it's

like a yeah a loveless like scorned she-devil who is fucking pissed at the world who's just has an anger inside of her that's like this is wrong why is this like this mind your own fucking business what do you mean why is this like this mind your own fucking business what do you mean why is this like this yeah the dogs are comfortable it's a tesla yeah it's true it was it's early march i mean it was it was it was not warm yesterday we kept the windows up to keep them warmer yeah Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was pretty chilly. It was like 45 yesterday. I thought that to open the windows would be worse for the dog's comfort.

And we were only, we were in there for, you know, 35, 45 minutes. They sleep. They're so happy. Yeah. Dogs like a sunspot too. Dogs enjoy like a place where they get like to bask in sun. That's one of dogs' greatest, most enjoyable activities. And I feel like that was a shot by Sass saying,

you do bring your dogs everywhere. He does. We bring them everywhere, but we didn't bring them in because there was a sign that said no dogs. And so then they were like, we're really sorry for this, and they let us bring them inside. Dude, I'm leaving my dogs in the car unless it's like over 95. That's a little warm.

I think 94. You might come back to a puddle of poodle. That's very good. I know, I'm just playing. That's a hot dog. I was just playing. Yeah, Frank would love that. But, you know, we'm just playing. That's a hot dog. I was just playing. Yeah, Frank would love that. But, you know, we need to fucking report Sass's ass for that fucking egregious behavior.

Dude, dogs like warm weather. I got a Bernice Mountain dog and a Husky, and I leave them in my car when it's 95 to 100, and they love it. It's like a steam room for them. Little schvitz. Yeah yeah because they've already got that natural they you know they like the heat because they've got they've already got that natural base layer of fur that warm fur so they like it when it's even hotter bernice mountain dogs it's a common misconception that they're mountain dogs they're actually beach dogs they're supposed to be down in like costa rica most times of the year. Just roasting in the sun.

Bernice? What's Bernice? Is it not Burmese? It is Bernice. I think he's right. There's probably something with my Wi-Fi. There's probably something with my Wi-Fi. I must have...

No, you're right. You're right. I'm trying to figure out where Bernice is, where they're from originally. Because I know Burma is a place. It's from Bern, Bern, Switzerland. You're right. I'm trying to figure out where Bernice is, where they're from originally. Because I know Burma is a place. It's from Bern, Bern, Switzerland. Ah, Bern. So Bernese. Beautiful beaches up there.

Yeah. All right. I got to hop. I hate to do it. Enjoy. Sorry, guys. All good. I'll talk to you later.

Happy birthday to your family member. All righty. We are back. Without Francis now. For he had to go to his birthday or someone's birthday parties. Grandmother-in-law. We should do something nice for him for his birthday, though, and surprise him. Totally. What are you thinking?

We could add his name to the sign in the office. No. That's crazy. Yeah, nothing crazy. I was thinking more like getting him a fucking Fuddruckers sandwich or some shit like that. Yeah, that would be nice. I'm sure he'd like that. I'm sure he'd like some Fuddruckers.

Or maybe just a sprout of greens. Yeah, we could get him just a nice sweet treat. He's a big sweet treat guy. He also does like greens, but his diet is really on both ends of the spectrum. Right. He either likes to eat cake or just leaves, or like a pile of leaves and bird seeds. And honestly, he has way better body than either one of us, so maybe that's the key. Maybe that's the key.

Yeah, just bird seeds and cake. The Marie Antoinette diet. It sounds fucking good. But he actually eats like a fucking, he's a trough. He eats like a fucking bottomless pit. Have you ever eaten with him? Yeah, he orders fucking everything. Dude, I told you when we went to San Francisco last year, he got 40 oysters for himself as an appetizer.

40. Do you subscribe to the theory that some people just do not like oysters? Yeah, definitely. Not some people, that nobody likes oysters. Like actually likes them. No, I like oysters. Like how they taste? Yeah, what do you mean yeah i like oysters so yeah the taste yes of just the raw oyster yeah i i didn't for a while and then i started liking them more with the with the sauce on it

and then i had them without the sauce. And I like them a lot. But I also like them. Yeah, I like a lot. I also like all seafood. I'm a big seafood guy growing up on the ocean and whatnot. I like all seafood too. I like, I mean, like a nice fish. I'm saying Seabream is the fish of the season, bro.

Like Seabream is the fucking one, dude. I don't know anything about Seabream. Oh, really? As a fishing guy, I thought would have to be a sea bream savant no i only fish for trout but i think that sea bream has uh like you just have some you could just some some light olive oil and some lemon i enjoy that i think that oysters have like a slimy and plus they're alive when you eat them really yeah sure about that look it up oysters are alive when you eat them yeah i mean i do you're not like this is gonna take no convincing for me i don't think i i like oysters are definitely something that it took me a while to like when i was a kid i fucking hated them

and i could understand. If I had never had an oyster and I had my first oyster today, I'd probably be like, this is disgusting. Never give this to me again. Right. But I've just, I've acquired the taste and now I like oysters. I think it's more of something that I eat to be like, to show that I'm adventurous. And I like them with the mignonette or like a sauce to them. But just a plain oyster has this like...

It tastes like the sea. It tastes like flesh, though. No, it doesn't. It tastes like you're eating the bottom of the ocean. Which you like. Yes. I don't hate it. I truly don't mind oysters.

I think they're pretty good. Yeah. I mean, I don't mind them either. You're good to... i i mean i i don't i don't mind them either you're good to you could just come on across you're just switching one more thing i just think that there's like something i don't know there's something dare i say vaginal about them yeah no i think that's pretty common theory a lot of people say that yeah i don't want to be nasty i'm not trying to speak out of turn or say nasty things just to be nasty. I'm not a freak like that.

Yeah. Where I just compare things to vaginas. No. Some people are like that. I barely even say vagina. I know. I don't even remember the last time I said it. I'm not even going to say it right now.

Have you ever heard me even say it before? Probably not, no. Exactly. Because that's not the kind of potty mouth shit that we're on in here. No, it's a clean podcast, mostly for kids. But it's just the oysters are the only thing dirty. And yeah, I confirm that oysters are alive when you eat them. That's interesting.

I never have heard that and did not know that. But I believe it. It makes you really question women's rights when you think about an oyster being alive. Why? Let's move on. I just can't believe it's alive. I just can't believe it's alive. That's my only point.

I know. What, were you going to make an abortion joke? No. I don't even say the word abortion. I guess, yeah. I didn't even think that's not something that would even cross your mind. When have I ever even said abortion on here i don't know we're gonna have to bleep all of these out though well for what it's a kid's podcast dude i know we're

basically like those three guys talking about the green bay packers on their couch yeah those guys are awesome yeah i love those dudes those guys are hilarious i love how they just clip nothing yeah i was that's what i was about to say the shit that they wind up clipping is so interesting because there's like nothing to it no it's just literally they'll just clip like abruptly in a conversation and it'll be like they'll pick just a random point of entry and then just a completely abrupt just like out of nowhere it's over and you're like all right keep moving they'll always just be like yeah ben everyone's saying that the guy with the green bay packers hat on

doesn't talk that much and the guy in the green bay packers hat will just like not yeah do they all kind of being held there at gunpoint by the one guy in the leather chair it's kind of meta hilarious though i guarantee they wind up being better podcasters than LeBron. Oh, for sure. I mean, dude, they're definitely starting young, which is that's my biggest regret is that I didn't start younger. Did you see that LeBron starting a squad cast? No, I didn't.

I saw that Caitlyn Jenner is. Yo, I wanted to ask for permission from you guys to try and get her on Son of a Boy Dad. Yeah, we should definitely get her on. That'd be huge. I feel like that would be a great addition. Like as a main cast member? You said main?

Like you want her to be like the co-host? No, no, just like a guest. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, okay, a guest. A guest, yeah. Just getting her on. Yeah, I think that would be huge. Do you have connections to

caitlin jenner she was on the most recent celebrity guest list of like booking for booking like do you want this person on your podcast oh really i did not know that yeah well and now i have to think about it if it's actually a possibility i didn't know i thought you thought we were just joking thought we were kind of just doing a bit there no i legitimately want her on i don't know what we would talk about with caitlyn jenner the olympics do you see how naturally we're calling her her too like uh we're the biggest trans activists i think at the company baytime we're the biggest allies at the company there were some people moving into my apartment or not my apartment but the building that i live in and they were standing outside and i was listening to them because i can hear everything when they're right outside

and they were just blabbing about trans people and non-binary and bisexual they were like this neighborhood is so great for buys this neighborhood is like talking to talking to like another one of their friends on the phone being like this neighborhood it's just so peaceful it's so quiet it is perfect for they he's i swear to god to the point that i was like are they they might be fucking around but then i was like i don't think they are because it went on for like out they were like at one point they were like there's so many beautiful people on this planet and i was like what the fuck is this like what people that you guys just have conversations like that this is perfect for g gyms they were kept on saying they're like this is perfect for they she's and i was like what it is dude the west

village is a utopia for they she's they hers they, hers. They, him's. Hers, she's. The sweetest place on earth. And then one of them was like, I'm borderline they, them at this point. It was crazy. And then they were like, it sounded like, I'm not even making it up. It sounded like they were trying to convince one of their friends that they were also a trans or a non-binary. Yeah, because it gives you a little bit of social currency. Yeah, because that's

what they were saying they were like you're that's why you got to they were like there's so many beautiful people in this world how are you going to restrict yourself to just one group honestly are they're talking about who to fuck or who to be to be included in i think who to fuck yeah i mean i respect that honestly you get no respect if you're just fucking one gender. No, you gotta branch out these days. You really, uh... And I don't think that people are doing this, but we could get to a stage where people are going through reassignment just to fit in. Oh, dude.

It's definitely happening already. Just to fit in. Every girl is bisexual now. Yeah. Just to fit in? I don't know. i don't want to say not to just not to fit in but it's like you know it's better than being straight because people are like oh straight you're straight white every single girl i've met in the last fucking year has been like oh i'm bisexual and then like have you ever fucked a girl like god no that's disgusting i would never do that they just like to call their friends pretty yeah like you're gorgeous i'm bisexual that's a big thing that i've it's a big spike in the bi community

which is good for them that's great i feel like there's some stuff though that's like so represented on the news that it's like not even uh like it's not even an actual problem that i encounter but it's just on the news so much that i feel like it's like part of my life like trans stuff i barely ever see or it never has affected my life uh and same with migrant stuff like oh yeah people are like oh new y is fucking, there's no more room for migrants. I honestly can't tell who's migrant or not. No, no migrants in my apartment. Like on 7th Ave, are the people who have a big tray of Skittles and Snickers bars, are they migrant?

Or are they just the same bros that have been here the entire time? I think it's just all the same people that have been there that i've never once seen someone in new york and been like get the fuck out now it's like dude everyone here sucks already who cares if there's more of them yeah there's more sucky people they're probably raising the batting average of exactly yeah but there i see it on the news so much or like people who aren't like like i went back to philly and uh i'm like you should come up visit new york and people are like you couldn't pay me to set foot in that city dude it's so crazy when people say stuff that's what happened when i went to alabama when i went to huntsville last year and there was the fucking my uber driver was like i was like i'm oh yeah i live in new york and there was the fucking my Uber driver was like I was like I'm I

live in New York and she like pulled the car over she was like my god I could never even imagine going to that city and it was like dude you you guys live on this is this whole entire city is a highway no offense to the people of beautiful Huntsville Alabama but it's like what do you mean New York's a massive city and it's like people think that they're going to come here and it's going to be like a bunch of migrants like trying to murder them and then like trans people trying to fuck them which both of those

things do happen on a regular basis but it's like just brush it off be a fucking man or a girl or a they or a them but people really think that it's like captain phillips and someone's like climbing up the side of a fucking building with like a knife in their mouth yeah being like i'm gonna fucking they think it's gotham yeah people definitely think it's gotham it's like bro have you i wish they could see my neighborhood. Yeah. I wish they could, like, see my building or, like, set foot out.

I'm, like, almost moved to tears by the beauty almost every time that I fucking go outside my apartment. I'll walk my dog at night just taking a shit, and I feel like I have to take a picture because it's the most beautiful, like, peaceful, serene sight that I've ever seen. Oh, yeah. Dude, I mean, I think it's's well i never set foot in that i guess i will say pay me i feel like i feel like people think that way about new york because people come to new york and then they just go straight to time square and they're like this city sucks and it's like well yeah because time square sucks but i'm not like a i'm not like a ride or die new york person i'm not like new york's the greatest place on earth but it's like it's just a normal it's

just a city like it's it's not i don't think it's much worse or better than other cities better i will say it's better than most cities but that's like going to like the culver's bathroom in huntsville and being like this is what you call a city yeah it's like yeah we're in the bathroom yeah like we're literally in the toilet yeah there's like shit on the toilet seat like there's fucking shit in time square like that's what time square or that's you know that that's what you're signing up for by going to the dumbest place yeah it's a it's a shithole and i used to live right there so that when i was going through that big phase where i was like i got to get out of this city it was because i was living a block away from time square i was i could hear time square from my apartment i was on 48th

i was in time i was living hell's inside time square actual hell's Yes. I had to walk through Times Square to get to work every day. And I would have to be, like, preparing mentally to have to shoo away, like, Mickey Mouse trying to come up and hug me. Yeah, you had to be in good shape just in case you had to, like, do, like, a three-cone drill around fucking Elmo with his head screwed off. Yeah, exactly. Guatemala and Elmo. But now you live in Transtopia. Now I live in Transtopia and it's beautiful here.

They're right. It's a great neighborhood for they hymns or he hymns even. You know? Some of them, there's a, I'm representing for the he hymns

out here, but we're going strong. He hymns don't need any more representation, buddy. Why don't you pick one of the other 48 genders and fucking strap up that is true we don't really need any more rep yeah we're pretty strong i did listen to that joe rogan episode about that swimmer though and i fucking get the indoctrination where what which one i didn't hear this there's like the swimmer

from kentucky who like tied the swimmer from Penn and they gave the trophy to the swimmer from Penn and I was like god damn it get me my fucking gun how dare they the trans swimmer trans swimmer got the trophy even though this was like the wildly famous story from like a year ago right yes

what was her name Leah Thomas was from Penn from Penn and the other what was what was her name leah thomas was from pen from pen and the other one was i don't fucking remember bro why did you why were you what what podcast were you listening to this on recently it was on joe rogan the the girl went on joe rogan really oh not the not the trans girl yes the kentucky girl. And she was like, I finished. We tied for first, and they gave the trophy to the one girl. The trans girl.

The trans girl from Penn. And I did find myself fucking almost driving my car off the road. Yeah, well, I mean, dude, that's biased as fuck. You can't be pulling those. That's crazy. Yeah, that one. So it's like I get being indoctrinated by it, but also. I mean, that girl definitely has the pass to be transphobic.

But that's coming from more of a competitive angle than it is anything. Yeah, she's got a pass, like an N-word pass, but the transphobia pass. Yeah. I mean, someone should tell her to get better at swimming dumb bitch leah what was her name leah thomas that that's my that's like she's the goat she's your goat she's right up there with caitlin clark in my opinion i'm gonna get a leah thomas fucking fat head and put it on my wall right there. Like Travis Scott, the way that Travis Scott was posing with Caitlin Clark.

Travis Scott just dapping up Leah Thomas after a race. Travis Scott and Jake from State Farm with Leah Thomas. You're the fucking goat. That's so lame that that other girl went on Rogan and fucking bitched about coming in second. She didn't come in second. She came in first. Sounds like she came in second. Did she win?

Yeah, she won. If she didn't win, she lost. Did she have the trophy? Sounds like she lost. No, they had to mail her the trophy late because she couldn't get the first crack at the trophy. Yeah, they mailed her a replica fucking plastic trophy. A participation trophy. Get faster.

Try getting faster next time participation trophy genre generation but i think that girl now has a podcast she's like oh i'm sure yeah yeah and she's probably got fucking some craze she's got fucking what's his name who was that kid yeah rittenhouse yeah rittenhouse is gonna co-host I knew where you were going They'll have Caitlyn Jenner on They should have Caitlyn Jenner on Why? Caitlyn Jenner

Well yeah honestly Cause Caitlyn Jenner could speak on it bro She's trans But I'm saying her politics probably align with their politics Yeah I know Definitely Did you hear fucking Tim Dillon

Tim Dillon yeah Saying that she's a mega trans politics yeah i know definitely did you hear fucking was uh tim dillon tim dillon yeah which is sick that's like uh way more talking about what was he saying he was saying that there if like a russian spy came back and reported that putin would be like no you're fucking with us yeah that shit was hilarious i mean it's i think it's just way more funny to be uh or like interesting to be nuanced and be mega trans than just be like down the line being like down the line is just so fucking boring well also just keep us guessing a little bit mega trans is like i don't think being trans means you're automatically like this super left person.

I think it just means that you're trans. I don't think it has much to do with your politics, but I think it's just more left people are more accepting of trans. And more left people will like fight for trans rights without having a dog in the fight. Yeah, but I mean, I think you can still be MAGA. Like you could still be trans. I mean, you'd be MAGA gays. Listen to Out and About. Yeah, true.

They're MAGA gays. They're mega gays. They're mega be mega gays listen to out and about there's plenty yeah true they're mega gays they're mega gays they're mega mega gays yeah those are like two of the biggest gays i know and they're two of our biggest mega guys yeah true they are by far they're big they're big mega so yeah i mean but mega gay yeah i don't think that's on the same level as mega trans yeah i mean because i think that half the half the mega dudes are gay that's true i mean people definitely got a lot of undercovers in their in their group that they don't know about like that fucking uh adam driver movie you know the adam driver movie where he plays the white supremacist oh oh yeah what what movie was that uh judas and the black messiah i don't remember what it was

but that's like them like there's definitely a bunch of those adam drivers crawling around at the rallies big time dude i got a i got a buddy who went to one of those rallies there's a comedian like a young comic went to one of those rallies he's from florida and he said that they went like before anyone was really taking it serious that trump could have been president and he said it was the most fun thing he's ever been to in his entire life i bet he said they were just getting shit face and everyone's just chanting and start and going nuts the whole time for like four hours it It's a sporting event without the game. Yeah, yeah.

Getting shit-faced and going to a speech is hilarious. I know. He said they literally tailgated. That sounds fun. Yeah. That sounds objectively fun. Yeah. And now you go to one and people will just label you as something,

but you should be able to just go to one for the vibes. You should be able to go to one just to see what's up. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, the only people that, like, are journalists, the only people who are, like, going there, like, just for the vibes are, like, journalists. But it's, like, I'll see, like, some liberal-ass journalist that, like, I went to, like, high school with or something like that. Be at a rally like that. It's like, bro. Otherwise, you'd be getting lumped in with like with everybody.

But you should be able to just go and enjoy yourself. Yeah. Just go and fucking vibe out with the fucking. It's clearly going to be better vibes than like a hey, hey, ho, ho. Donald Trump has got to go rally. Yeah. Those are the worst vibes of all time. True.

I also think you should be able to go just out of like a curiosity. I don't know. Fact-finding mission. Going to see a president speak is not like a, it's a pretty rare opportunity. Yeah. When your president, when the past president, 45, when he's selling out fucking a residency at MSG, you should be able to stop by just out of curiosity. Like, it's like going to see Taylor Swift right now.

Right. And just be like, oh, yeah, like, what's Obama talking about? What's Trump talking about? I want to see what all the hype is. Yeah, just be interested in politics without it being, like, an affiliation. Exactly. Shit is nasty, bro. Took the words right out of my mouth.

It's an unfair world that we're living in. They would just want you to fucking... I think they're all fucking down dirty crooks. People are always like the fucking... Whenever you see the fall of a society, it's because they start blurring the lines of gender. It happened with the Roman Empire. It happened with the Greek Empire.

Bro, I'm pretty sure that all the falls of any great society is because of like the most corrupt politicians of all time i don't think it's because the the like elites are like fucking yeah i didn't i've never heard that before that it's it has to do with gender yeah it's like when the gender lines start getting blurred you know that it's like the the downfall of society is nigh it's like when the gender lines start getting blurred, you know that it's like the downfall of society is nigh. Has that happened before? I think they just cite the Roman and... I'm going to have to look into that. The Roman Empire collapsed because there were people that were saying they were trans?

Yeah, that's their... That's what all the ruins are from? Yeah. Must have been fucking chaos that's what happened to pompeii too many flamers in a volcano burn the goddamn city down i'd love to read about that that guy i feel like that can't be factually correct but people throw it around like it's gospel. I mean, dude, if you look back to the old... People think that the trans stuff is a new thing. It wasn't like when they were doing Shakespeare and shit.

It was just a bunch of dudes dressed up in dresses with fake tits. Yes. Like a bunch of theater nerds being like, And look what happened to the british empire true the british empire did collapse under the fall of othello yeah under fucking a woman playing macbeth yeah or a man playing macbeth i guess yeah it was all wasn't it all dudes am i wrong about that i think it was all dudes i think think you're dead right. It was all white men. Or they, I mean, they probably didn't even know that they were they, she's back then.

What, do you think a white man was playing Othello? Definitely, dude. I think the white man played everything in Shakespeare. So do you think the white man was in Blackface? Oh, yeah. I'll fucking cancel Shakespeare for that. Yeah, 100%. What the fuck?

I'll fucking cancel Shakespeare for that. Yeah, 100%. What the fuck? Absolutely, it was the whites were playing black faces. I think Othello was one of the only black bros that Shakespeare had. Yeah, well, Shakespeare was very accepting back then. Dude, how's your pee been? Have you been peeing well? Peeing like a motherfucker right now

because i'm taking this big ass jug of water oh shit that's a lead talk about a leader my leader of the new york office bro you can't even see the top it looks like i'm just holding a glass holy shit that's an optical illusion optical illusion. Yeah, I'm trying to get back into running because pretty much what went down on... It was a rough weekend, to say the least. So Friday... You were in New York for once, right? I'm in New York, fucking stoked about it. Got nothing going on. No plans all weekend.

And it's probably Friday afternoon. I wake up. I'm bored as as hell i instantly hit up the fellas i go i'm around all weekend i'm trying to play a sickly amount of i'm trying to play uh the amount of video games that i get off and i'm like worried about my health because i've been playing for so long you come out like clemmer just vitamin exactly deficient yeah like i'm having a hard time falling asleep because i'm getting i'm still in shell shock and we get on and a little did i know i was being pretty much led into an intervention saying my two friends bo and matt pulled me aside and they said we've been talking and

Bo and Matt pulled me aside and they said, we've been talking and we have to cut back on video games. What? So the whole weekend, it was just on edge. Every time I wanted to play, I had to call and be like,

what are you guys doing right now? And then they were like, nothing. And I'm like, cool. I'm probably not gonna play tonight but like if you guys feel like playing just let me know and i'll hop on the whole and and then i called why do they have to cut cut cut back i guess it's interfering with their careers and their life what fucking careers do they have they don't have shit going on either of them that's why what are their jobs?

Broke and broker. That's their nicknames. Fry their fucking poor asses. I know. And then they're like, well, you can play video games because you have a career. And I was like, well, then let's make this our career. Let's go pro. Why not?

Yes, let's stream. Why can't I be the MVP of the mbp of the league why not me and what is their answer no they said no so now we pretty much we narrowed it down to no more daytime gaming sessions is bow bow is a guide like a hunting or like a fucking fishing guide well that's that was just last summer no matt's jobless at the moment what was his last job i thought he i thought he worked in a kitchen matt did work in a kitchen last summer but he just graduated college so he's trying to find a job he was a real job he's trying to get a real job yeah oh he's cooked bro you gotta leave him behind i know i and i'm trying to he's not your

friend anymore i was saying i was like dude you guys are going to get real desk jobs in a fucking cube and you're going to be begging you're going to be going bring me back to the days where we could play video games all the time and it was fucking Friday Saturday Sunday what the hell you're not supposed to do anything productive on those days it wasn't a school night

this was your one weekend off and they couldn't fucking join you exactly and now they're banging my line right now going do you want to play video games no i can't can't today busy with my real life sorry work with my job and they they do this thing where they try and they try and like like talk to me like i'm a fucking child and they're like there's more important things going on in the world than call of duty and i'm like fuck you you like because you know it's like oh what are your parents must have said something to you There's no way in hell that you're having these thoughts by yourself. Right.

You turn on the TV and accidentally it was on like fucking like ABC News and you're learning about Ukraine. I got to get my life in order. Why couldn't they fucking quit on one of the weekends you were on the road? Exactly, dude. That's what I was saying. But we've still played every single day since then. Did you fight back against them when they told you that you were having your intervention? I was furious.

I genuinely, like, I was almost brought to tears. That's not what you want to hear when you're getting on video games. I'm like, we're kicking off the weekend right now. video games for like, like I'm like, we're kicking off the weekend right now. Like this is going to be nonstop games for the next fucking 72 hours. And they lead it off with,

I got to cut back. They're soft and weak. That would be like in comparison, like for you, if one of your, if you bought like a one, one of your massive bags of Coke that you usually buy, and then you got with all your friends to do it. And they were all like ah not me man you can play you can

do it though you cannot you can do not even not you that would be like if they told me that i couldn't do my massive bag of coke yeah exactly uh you this isn't you don't want this stuff man you need to cut back on this coke we're all going to cut back and today's going to be the day you stopped meanwhile i'm Father Christmas With a bag of coke over my shoulder Exactly Like a bindle on a stick I'm a hobo with a fucking massive rock

Yeah But then it's like Dude then it's So then Saturday during the day I got nothing to do So I'm sitting around I'm in my apartment I'm not doing dick

And I got a fucking Like I'm calling them And they're like Well you gotta find I'm like well what. I'm not doing dick. And I got a fucking, like, I'm calling them, and they're like, well, you got to find, I'm like, well, what are we supposed to do? Because none of us are doing anything right now, so why don't we just play video games? And they're like, no, man, I got to, I'll play later. I got to, I'm really busy right now. I'm reading. Go fuck yourself.

Fuck off. Reading. Reading. Reading. They weren't even reading. They were definitely scrolling phone. Oh, 100%. At best, they had a book on tape blasting in their ears. At best.

Absolutely just scrolling phone trying to say, well, at least we're not playing video games. So we're going to try. Just one screen or another. I'm trying to break them out of it now, but we'll see. Yeah. I mean, their idealism is getting the best of them. Yeah. And, you know, like, part of me was like, well, maybe we should cut back on video games. And then I was like, no.

Because then I'm like, well, I'm not drinking. I don't smoke weed. I do comedy. I do barstool. I try very hard at all of that stuff. I deserve to play video games when I have free time to play video games. They're trying to punish you. They're trying to punish me for being on my best behavior. No, but they're trying to punish you for what's going on in their homes and their lives, their heads, their brains. Shit is not fucking right.

Exactly. We should go beat their asses. Well, yeah. I'm hoping that this gets back to them and they can finally hear my true thoughts on the matter. Oh, because you pussied out and you turtled when they brought it up? Oh, no. I didn't. I don't turtle around them. It was brought to yelling.

Throwing things around my apartment. No! Fuck you! Like an epileptic fucking teen. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, dude. This is play two. We'll play two games.

You got to give me a shot. Terrible. So that's been weighing me down all weekend. So you decided to start running? So I went on a jog because I was so goddamn bored and I've been jogging since So that's been weighing me down all weekend. So you decided to start running? So I went on a jog because I was so goddamn bored, and I've been jogging since. And then I watched Oceans 11, Oceans 12, and Oceans 13 over the course of a night and then the morning.

You didn't watch Oceans 8? Haven't made it to Oceans 8 yet. That's the best one. The scissoring scene. Yeah. Oh, my God. It was, dude, Ocean's 12. Sandra Bullock and Awkwafina are going to fucking town on each other.

The first one is so fucking good, and then the second one is so bad, and then 13 is just the same exact movie as the first one. I cannot believe in the second one. They're like, well, we could say that Julia Roberts looks like Julia Roberts. Yeah, the second one was trying too much to be a comedy. The fact that they're like, we could pretend that Tess is Julia Roberts when she's played by Julia Roberts is infuriating. Yeah, it was too much breaking the fourth wall. It was like, dude, what is this, a fucking student film?

the fourth wall it was like dude what is this a fucking student film and there was like the whole entire heist was like a yankees fan versus a red socks fan it was like dude what is what are you you couldn't get matt damon on board so you had to add in a little fucking inside ball for him yeah that is dumb as fuck what was the movie where uh matt or ben affleck stopped filming for four days because they wanted him to wear a yankees hat oh yeah i heard i think it was was it the accountant was it accountant or like gone girl or something like that oh i think it was gone girl yeah he would he refused i don't think he stopped filming but he said he would walk off set if they made him wear yankees hat which made me really question my Massachusetts roots because like I have a Yankees shirt and it was probably my most worn shirt of 2023.

I can't figure out Ben Affleck because at sometimes you look at him and he's like a he pretends to be this like political activist. Yeah. Like railing against the president and shit. He's like railing against the president and shit. And then sometimes he's like, or like he tries to intellectualize acting and like talk like he's this like erudite intellectual. And then other times like he's like this down home, like fucking fully like imbecilic, like just moron. Yeah. Well, sometimes... Trying to find a way to say retard without saying retard. Yeah, I thought you were going to say he was an alcoholic.

Yeah, he's like a Dunkin' Donuts eating alcoholic. Yeah, but I don't think he drinks... I don't think he drinks anymore, right? But he just drinks enough cigarettes or smokes enough cigarettes to make it feel like he's high off of fucking booze. Maybe. Honestly. Yeah, I can't figure his goofy ass out.

I want to respect him, but I don't know if I fucking can. I like Ben Affleck, and honestly, I'm a big Casey Affleck guy too. Casey Affleck is, what was his transgression? That him and some other actor were like, oh, him and Joaquin Phoenix were like fucking girls in their hotel room while they had like uh joaquin like casey affleck and joaquin phoenix brought two girls up to like some hotel room and they were fucking them while they like had wives or some shit like that ah see i would never i always i never you never heard that story well i know that casey affleck had some sort of

scandal but his performance in manchester by the sea was breathtaking so i kind of brushed it off forgot he probably needed to go to that place to be a great actor i know babe i'm sorry i need to fuck pussy yeah true like it's like uh method acting yeah he needed to lose his family in real life to pretend that he lost his family in manchester by the sea i can't set them on fire casey affleck's good dude he's in he's great in oceans 11 and 12 and 13 he's great in 11 through 13 but in in goodwill hunting are we to believe that he fucked a baseball glove we are we're we are believed that he masturbated with a baseball glove on i used it for cleanup it was for cleanup is that a good case yeah are you fucking my mom's gloves

again just for cleanup i'm using it for cleanup i don't know yours does not sound like acf like i don't think mine does either but yours also does not yeah mine is terrible uh dude you know what movie i was watching yesterday the terminal have you ever watched that the the terminal list No What is the terminal about? It's Tom Hanks And he is He's from a made up country In the Middle East And he arrives in New York

And his country is torn by civil war Like the day he arrives So he's stuck in JFK And he can't leave And he can't get his visa stamped Because he is there's no homeland that he has. So there's no no country that can affirm him as a citizen because they're immediately thrown into civil war. But the but the country that they make up, it's completely fake and it doesn't have a real language. So the whole time he's just like speaking gibberish.

And it doesn't have a real language. So the whole time he's just like speaking gibberish. He just is like speaking a fully fake, like gibberish, like fake Albanian, fake, like Turkish, Middle Eastern language that like makes no sense. That's crazy.

I've never heard of it. Believe it. It's, I mean, as a, how far in are we just to start airport talk? But as a guy who spends that long in an airport as you, I feel like it's basically your life spending that long in a terminal.

Yeah, I mean, this is a real movie? Yes. Where they have Tom Hanks speaking a fake language? Fake gibberish. And he's just like, I looked it up. I was like, is this a real country or language and it's not real at all dude imagine getting that that's like gotta be the dream role for any actor ever because you don't have to memorize lines if the language isn't real you don't you just make it up

on the go i mean he's he winds up speaking broken english Throughout the movie as it goes But I always like There's a dog There's like a mound near my apartment Where you can like walk your dog But you're not supposed to And I've heard that they write people up Even on the first nice day outside There was a cop up there

And he like basically like chased me off And was like He wanted to get me in trouble But my plan in the back of my head Is to like speak broken language of like another language. Yeah. Just like make up a language

and just be like, I can't trust, but the good enough, but the good enough. I thought that, but I'll take them off. Pretend I have no idea what the fuck he's talking about.

Because what, is he going to give me a, he's going to write me up anyway? Like he's going to give me a hard time? I feel like that's a brilliant idea. Yeah, you can't arrest somebody if they don't speak, if they didn't know. Yeah, I can't speak the sign. It's like manslaughter for fucking walking in the wrong area.

Right, exactly. You didn't know. I didn't know it was illegal here. I don't even speak the language um but i don't know if i'll be able to get away with it i don't know if i'll have the balls to speak a fake yeah that would be a fucking i bet they would respect it i bet they would be like all right that was good enough get the fuck out of here you've you disgraced yourself enough in front of me yeah you've made an ass of yourself publicly in front of me. Yeah. You've made an ass of yourself publicly in front of me.

That's hilarious. I'm going to bring you down to the... Now I'm going to bring you down to the station. Yeah. Me having to fucking come clean. That would be so funny. You're like, oh, hey, barstool. Got the mud off me enough.

That's so funny. We know you're lying how long do i keep on speaking the fake language to the these people i would go for a while oh i keep up appearances until it makes headlines man comes out of coma have you ever seen uh the clip of the woman who came out of a coma and she said she couldn't stop speaking with a chinese accent no but shit like that happens all the time like that there was that there was an old npr podcast episode where they said that this guy got brain surgery and then he came back and he was addicted to child porn and it's like dude there's a whole interview about it and it was like

he was a totally supposedly he was a totally normal guy and then he got brain surgery and then like a week later they arrested him with like 10 terabytes of child porn on his computer the fbi store and he got off no charges that's uh the the most brilliant loophole i've ever heard oh yeah what really went on was definitely like he was like i almost died i'm gonna live my No charges. That's the most brilliant loophole I've ever heard. Oh, yeah. What really went on was definitely like, he was like, I almost died. I'm going to live my fucking truth. Oh, yeah. 100%.

I'm going to explore new things. Which was probably the same with this lady who came out with a Chinese accent. Yeah. She was like, this is way more fun to talk like this. I need to live my truth. I need to live my truth. I need to live my truth. That's a white lady doing a Chinese lady, of course. Exactly, exactly.

Look, man, we're all just making fun of her. Yeah, so that's actually... We're on your guy's side. We are on your side. You cannot get mad at us Oh man That's fucking wrong If you're getting this deep in To come for our fucking balls

You know what I mean True bro I'm so We're always so close To getting cancelled Because we're always saying The nastiest things Well because we fucking

Are spitting in the face Of cancel culture. Of course. We've taken after our brother, Matt Reif. They're going to wait until the time to cancel this. We're cancel culture's white whale. Good luck getting us. We don't play by the rules.

Exactly. That's going to be my first special. I don't play. Sorry, libtbtards i don't play by the rules and there's gonna be there's gonna be asterisks just in in like every word there's now 251 of us welcome to the table sorry there's a new killer in town. And guess what? He's not a huge fan of libs.

He's not a big fan of cancel culture. Coming soon to Fox. He'll say gay and retard. He'll say both words. Yeah, I'm kind of a rule breaker. This week on Fox, I don't play by the rules. Written and directed by Lil Sasquatch. If you can even say that anymore. Lil Sasquatch is basically Voldemort these days.

No one even wants to say his name Brands are scared of associating with him But college kids love him I'm gonna make my first The end of the album cover Is gonna have caution tape all over it Your mouth Caution tape over your mouth Isn't that what

Liz and And Casey Yeah yeah I'm pretty sure that's what they did that's what they did over the mouth caution for the mouth badass yeah they i mean what if liz and casey were what if that's what their show actually was them saying slurs that would be awesome dude they could break into like they if they did, they would become like the biggest people in right wing media of all time. Immediately. Yeah. They both have their own show on Fox.

If they just said some slurs. Oh, yeah. Because there are people who are doing that, who are like trying to like break into media by like saying the F slur. Oh, yeah. into media by like saying the f slur oh yeah like by tweeting the like there's like women who are like mother of two and like all of their tweets are just the f slur yeah what did what did kaylin jenner what did kaylin jenner do she there was like someone tweeted uh the word retard with like an asterisk in it and then she commented and she was like i'll say it retard i think she tweeted that didn't she did she i'm like 99 sure she tweeted it i mean i wouldn't be surprised what are they going to do to her

i gotta if you if you try to cancel her you're transphobe she's found the ultimate loophole she might as well have 10 terabytes of child porn She's so uncancellable I'm not finding it so I hope I didn't make that up In my head You're allowed to make shit up bro I need to look up Caitlyn Jenner With the word

Caitlyn Jenner with that nasty nasty word Caitlyn Jenner uses our word on Twitter but misspells it. Oh yeah, no, I was dead on. But she misspelled it so she found a whole new loophole. Oh, because Donald Trump Jr. tweeted, I know you're not allowed to use the R word. That was a big part of our vernacular growing up, if you're my age. But there has to be exceptions, right?

Because this fucking, and then retard blurt out. Because this is fucking retarded blurt out. And this is, how much do the Democrats hate the world? Do they even learn? And then Caitlyn Tenor replied and said, I'll say it. That's amazing it is funny though when people do think it's like this really edgy thing to say too i know it's like fuck i'll say it i'll say it i don't give a damn it's funny because like here arrest me arrest me i'll say it i don't give a shit i'll take myself to jail i'll execute myself for it it's like that

fucking uh have you ever seen that like the it's like the reoccurring meme on like twitter and instagram where people are like guys are like me and the bros if the group chat got leaked and it's like someone like getting walked into a cop car and it's like yeah i'm sure you guys are saying some really crazy things that not every other person on the planet is saying yeah it's preposterous also but but my point is that that the term uh idiot moron and imbecile those are all also clinical terms for people whose like iq is less than 100 yeah like i think idiots like i forget what the order is but like idiots, idiot's less than 90, imbecile's less than 80, and moron is less than 70 or something like that. Like, a moron is like, has like the same, but it's made its way peacefully into the vernacular where people aren't like, listen, no one wants me to say moron, but I'll fucking do it.

Yeah, talking about moron, like, it's like this offensive slur would be hilarious i'm gonna go up on stage and start saying moron and then be like anybody sorry guys just testing the water i guess i can't say that oh cold crowd sorry i didn't know i couldn't say that in san diego my bad i guess some of you guys have family members that are morons you're looking at me like i'm kind of a big moron right now My bad. I guess some of you guys have family members that are morons. You're looking at me like I'm kind of a big moron right now. There's like that old Norm bit where he got in trouble for saying the R slur. And then he came back and he said that they said that the writer's room and of jimmy of jimmy fallon were crying

and leaving because he was on the show oh really yeah because he said he the quote was that he said uh he was doing a joke and he said you'd have to be retarded to think that and then he went on another talk show like the next night and said you'd have to have down syndrome did you see the uh that commercial about the the girl with down syndrome where it's like don't assume if you assume i can't have a margarita that probably means that i can't have like that probably means that you think i can't have a margarita yeah and then she's like if you assume i can't have sex that probably means i can't have sex yeah she was like I can't have sex. Yeah. She was like, I'm fucking all the time.

That was pretty much all I got out of that commercial. But she's getting shit-faced off margaritas. She's getting hammered and then fucking. And just fucking. Just can't stop fucking. I did see that commercial. It was, I don't know, empowering. Yeah, I guess empowering. yeah i guess empowering that kind of applied to kind of my life as well in a way how's that because people are constantly like you can't

play video games and i'm like well i can play video games believe it or not and if i want to stick this fucking playstation controller up my ass then you assume I can't stick this PlayStation controller up my ass, then I can't stick this PlayStation controller up my ass. Exactly. Took the words right out of my mouth. If you assume that I can't fuck the CD slot in my PlayStation. All right, do you got to catch this flight? Yeah, I got to get the fuck out of here, bro.

All right, good shit. Tell them to send me over that uh audio file thank you guys for listening oh i'm gonna be in irvine this weekend and then bakersfield uh irvine tickets are almost out bakersfield pretty much every single ticket is left so please come if you want to hear a uh edgelord comedian say the word moron on stage gonna be doing a lot of moron material this weekend in bakersfield, so please stop by. I beg of you. All right, we'll see you guys on Thursday.

Goodbye.