Son of a Boy Dad - NOEL MILLER | Son of a Boy Dad #170

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

NOEL MILLER | Son of a Boy Dad #170 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm here. Hell yeah, bro. I'm here, brother. Headphones or we go raw? Whatever you want, honestly. Listen, I just like to hear my own voice.

Okay. You don't have to, though. No, we can... Because Francis will go raw. You know what? I might go raw. I might go raw. You don't have to, though. No, we can... Because Francis will go raw if you want to... You know what? I might go raw. I might go raw.

You got beautiful ears. Thank you, man. Yeah, they're proportionate, so people don't get to see them often. Is it true that your ears just grow your whole life? Is that true?

I've heard that, that your ears continue to grow your entire life. That's crazy. That's true. Yeah, so maybe you're in a sweet spot of proportionality. So they don't stop at puberty. Yeah, I don't know.

Because have you ever seen old-ass people with massive? Yes. But it's like, did they always have massive ears, or do the ears just keep on growing? Hold on. I'm getting attacked by this. Hello? All right, we're cool. We're cool awesome all right you need to

water anything no good yeah yeah we can just hop right in yeah yeah we're already recording okay we keep it pretty professional over yeah yeah no it's good all that ear shit was a plant bit yeah all righty welcome back to the area of a Boy Dad podcast. Today we are joined by Noel Miller. What's up, everybody? What's up? What's going on, bro? How's it going?

It's good, dude. This is not what I'm used to. Why? This feels like- Because we're all over you? Yeah, it's like a lot of folks. I know, it is. I'm not used to this many people, but it's cool. I dig it. Yeah um it's all over you yeah it's like a lot of folks i know i'm not used to this many people but it's cool yeah i dig it yeah it should be it's a good time i have to say i have to say this is very cool one seeing you here now oh yeah you know well okay you gotta

give context to that because you basically started sass's not only stand-up career but his entire career uh i don't want to be responsible for all his entire career. I don't want to say... You're basically responsible for all his successes. I don't want to say I started it, but Sass... So this is actually a really funny story because I knew Sass as just like a Twitter personality. And you're young,

but you also have an old face kind of. Dude, you should hear his heart tests. Oh, yeah. We were just going over his lifestyle. Yeah. About as old as it gets. It's not good. His lipids are crazy oh he's white he's gonna age horrendous but um so he kind of had an old face and so i didn't think he was a teenager right so i just like i followed him i retweeted him i talked to him like what's up bro this and that so then we had a show and i invite him out and he's like

hey can i get in i'm only 17 or something and i'm like oh you're a kid no you gotta be in your 30s so then i'm thinking like am i on a list so then so then he uh you know we like kind of stayed in contact and then sass tells me he dms me he's like man i got offered to work at barstool i don't know if i should do it i said do it man i'm like new york you want to do comedy right he's like yeah i want to try stand up i'm like that's the place to go if i was your age and there's something i could have changed i would have gone and did that and so he came here and look what the fuck happened dude yeah yeah i totally forgot yeah i did i hit you up uh when i got the when i got the offer yeah because i was like i don't know if this is the right move yeah did you hit up a lot of people or were you just like this is my now he's the only

person i really knew that was successful so yeah that's love what did you see from sass like what do you remember what tweets what or what he was talking about or like what was the it was a long time ago yeah i just thought for him to be like as young as he was i don't know just like framing his thoughts in that way i'm like oh yeah and he told me i want to try stand up and i want to write i want to do sketch he already had the mind for it so yeah i just thought it's a no-brainer it'd be a huge miss if he didn't take it and went elsewhere and they just dreamed about it for years right if he like went to college and got like a job or yeah yeah just to be a you know i don't know just to be like what i was gonna do yeah probably

nothing to be honest yeah imagine it was a project manager being like you know i had this tweet it fucking banged 300 000 likes yeah you even know what the fuck that's like yeah you know the power i have at my fingertips oh man so then i you know then you came here and you know the barstool audience was like, I can't wait for this kid to kill himself. They hated him for a minute. Oh, man. We'll help him die. That's what they used to say.

We'll help him die. Dude, it was like I remember the worst comments, the ones that you always get to me, they'd be like, should have stayed in college. And I was like, fuck, I should have. I definitely should have. That was terrible. Because I didn't realize how fucking ruthless the blog commenters are, especially.

The people on the blog, I was like, yeah, they're probably going to love me. It's funny that they get you both ways because the one comment I ever always get is, this guy went to college and now he works at Barstool. What a waste of your parents' tuition money. You said college when you meant to say harvard you went to harvard but that was a soft way no i meant to say it so that you could then insert the clarification and then i'd be like oh was that speaking like this you definitely should have stayed you would have been a great lawyer i'll kill myself i will kill myself

on your recommendation counselor the blog commenters are the nastiest though and they still are oh yeah at first you want to go and like get your validation from them and i've learned to kind of back away and then i thought that they would have matured as i've matured along the way but they're still just the same and i wonder if it's like guys getting older and they're grounding themselves by still just uh being really nasty or is it a new class of uh like no it's the same dudes and they're like like they're the worst haters i mean they're the best haters technically i've ever seen in my entire life they're brilliant haters yeah like they really know what they're doing yeah they could make you they'll take something you don't

even know you were insecure about and point that out and the thing i don't even think a young person could swim in those waters because i would like i'd be afraid to try and hate as much as those guys, you know. They're grizzled vets. Yeah, yeah. I feel like the kids nowadays are hating way more than anyone else ever had. You think? Oh, dude, on Instagram? Yeah, yeah.

Instagram, it's like, there'll be a girl who'll just be like, get ready with me in the morning. And then the comments are like, OnlyFans whore. Yeah. And then she doesn't even have an OnlyFans just assume like god damn it but some of the hate is soft from from the youths like people like some hate now is just like oh dude this dude's just chatting it's like that's like that's like a heavy like allegation or whatever but it doesn't feel it doesn't feel like uh that big of an insult to for someone to be like yeah you're just fucking chatting right yeah it seems soft and weak because here at bar stool you get beat down oh by 40 year old men yeah who are like i don't know how to use the

internet but i know how to make this person feel fucking bad yeah that's that feels bad like getting roasted by someone who types like this that's they fucking clean you like they put you in your feelings your phone screen font is set to that like grandfatherly font yeah yeah their glasses down on their nose dude the worst thing instagram ever did was add the how you could see the amount of likes a comment has yeah so now it's like someone will hate and they'll be like this is the war like if you they'll post a video of me on barstool and be like this is the war like if you they'll post a video of me on bar stool and be like this is the worst post bar stools ever had and it'll have like 300 000 likes and it was like dude that's like three met life stadiums of people just agreed with that person and was like this is the worst thing a company that's been around for 20 years has ever posted

three met life stadiums is that how you track things? It's more like five, honestly, because they're like 60,000. But then they'll always go under their own comments and they'll be like, wow, since you're here, follow my Twitch stream. Which, I mean, that seems like that's the way to do it now. It's not a bad technique. That's like Twitter. That's all Twitter is now.

What's his name? Did the Target run? Oh, yeah, Drake's boy. That's Drake's boy? No, no, no. Now they are, though. We need to put some respect on his name who did the Target run? Oh, yeah, Drake's boy. That's Drake's boy? No, no, no. Now they are, though. We need to put some respect on his name, bro. I don't know what his name is. Do you remember his name?

What's the dude's name? The Target run guy? Target run original. It's like fucking... And now he's got deals with ESPN. Did you see that? He's doing ads for ESPN now of him just watching espn being like blade stage capitalism bro and and drake uh he remade the video and then tagged him yeah

it's really yeah drew walls drew walls you're like yeah yeah there we go yeah respect on his name yeah dude he really is just because everyone clowned the shit out of him and then three weeks later everyone's like wait look how stupid this is it's like you're just doing it and people are making like genius uh the one dude on twitter or on uh tiktok had like three different perspectives within the same one it's like a format basically isn't that all just casey neistat sort of yeah like what they're doing but casey's was like you know tarantino cuts's true. You know, it's like door handle inside, outside, foot. Everyone used to make fun of Casey Neistat, though, for like when he'd film himself like driving out of his parking garage. And everyone would be like, did he just set up a camera and then drive away and then get out of the car?

Now everyone is doing that. It is crazy to set it up in the Target parking lot, drive away, and then go back and get it. But you have to respect him. He's on, he's on Poppy's radar. Yeah. That's love. I really want to see one of those cut together

and then the last frame is like the drive off and then someone runs up and grabs the phone. Yeah, you need to see it. And they post it to like their account. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They got all the footage. I edited this for you, champ. We need to see every side of it. Do you think those guys have any shame? Do you think there's any shame or do you think they're making so much money that they just don't give a fuck like you think there's any shame in like setting up the tripod to go get the cart at target no i mean because they're the same dudes who are just popping shirt off in front of the camera like if you don't have

the shame to like expose nipple then you you don't have the shame to put something up in a you'll never see my nipples in your life now now never ever i'm not popping top you'll pop a top off though because you have a beautiful bod but i'm really white too white you pop the top all the time i just saw you pop the top in a video the other day what yeah foreplay oh well that was a celebration where i ripped the shirt in yeah but that's like i would just rip a shoulder out trying to rip out of an instinct like if i ever was celebrating the last thing to come off would be my shirt my dick would be out before my shirt like winnie the pooh yeah i've had that dude i've had the thought a thousand

times like i got pants pulling your dick out i've got i got pants on stage at a uh at a comedy festival skank fest how did that feel didn't matter like i didn't care about it at all and then i was thinking i was like if they ripped my shirt off i would have cared about that so much that's crazy yeah there's video of it someone like showed him video of his own dick and he just like didn't care at all he's the smallest dick's ever been and he was just unfazed wow that's a man that was forged by internet comment yeah there's nothing that they there's nothing they're gonna say about my dick that i would care about what are they gonna say your dick's small i'm like yeah who cares if they were like yeah you got titties you got titties

wow they said you got big ass titties i'd be like i'm gonna kill myself this dude is buddha you got the smallest dick i've ever seen and what and what what else wow keep going but yeah no we owe you a debt of gratitude for sass's entire career oh man um he's the one who said all that shit i was just like man go over there i also thrive in giving people terrible advice like if people are just like should i do this my answer is always yes. I'm going to hit you up then when I want to do something dumb. Dude,

do it. Honestly, I'm fucking, I will push you towards, but you do crazy shit too though. You're, are you, you fucking like drive go-karts and shit like that?

Yeah. The fuck? Yeah. Karts. Yeah. My new project is a talk show desk. That's a race car. Are you serious?

Yeah. Yeah. So that's tough. How'd you a race car. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's tough. How did you start doing that? I've always just loved driving, but it was during the pandemic I did a virtual race with a Formula One driver, Lando Norris. I just want to pick that name up real quick. McLaren. It gave something for you. McLaren, right?

McLaren? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah harvard he knows what that show it only took us 10 minutes for me to be the asshole i knew i shouldn't be here i was eating a nice beet salad 10 minutes ago wow you really are from harvard that's what's going on about you know his lipid levels and his fucking nice liver being... It's still over there. There's remnants

of the beats brought from BYO. I set it down. I set it down. Wiped my hands thoroughly before I shook your hand. Yeah. I can hear

the Ivy League ovulation going crazy. I love it. I love a man who makes a nice beet salad. I gotta get on the beets. The beets are healthy for your heart, right?

Yeah. Superfood. Yeah. Superfood. They're good for your blood. I need that. Yeah, so I did that, and then there's a dude named,

he's got the craziest name ever. Shout out to my boy, Jagger Jones. He's the grandson of a legendary Grand Prix driver, Parnelli Jones, and he hit me up and he goes, yeah, man. At that time he was driving NASCAR. He's like, hey, if you want to drive carts, like the stuff that a lot of drivers grow up doing, I'll kind of introduce it to you. So I said, yeah, sure. And then like from that one moment i was hooked and uh yeah so i think i like carted for like three three and a half years now raced a few times i want to race more but like my schedule doesn't allow but so yeah that's kind of why yeah it's gonna be hard to find a place to race

frequently yeah but that's if you're touring on weekends and shit like that that's something i'll do though is i'll look up a local track and i've done that a lot yeah yeah like you know i've done drives in like northern new york like oh what is that shit whole city albany rochester no keep going buffalo syracuse syracuse yeah yeah yeah um i went to like i went to a beautiful track up there i almost moved for that track it was so good and then i don't want to live in syracuse i don't want to be on your ass but dude it's so cold it'll be the dead of summer and it'll be like negative 30 degrees gray there it's a fucking foul city no they have a beautiful car track though um yeah i've recently i've driven in like indiana and other places but yeah so then from that like i wanted to race full-size cars, but just no time.

So that's kind of, like, what motivated me to, like, build this crazy idea. It was like, I'm like, all right, if I could do what I normally do, but also at, like, high speed, this could be dope. Yeah, that's awesome. How did you know that you wanted to take, like, regular driving to, like, racing? Were you just, like, a crazy driver? Were you nice with it? Oh, yeah. Were you drag racing? Yeah, no yeah no yeah no like i had a honda and i like work on cars with my friends and stuff and yeah yeah yeah so but at that time i couldn't afford to go to the track like ever yeah so it was just something i'd always dream about do you ever take your uh your work home

with you and drive like a fucking maniac or anything yeah definitely yeah do you really yeah there's some roads near the house that i can definitely get fucking loose on you really open it up yeah yeah 100 dude i rented a i rented a fuck what is it a subaru is it an impresa is that what it's called yeah yeah and that's got the fucking the gear thing the paddle dude i was driving that thing that was like the most fun i've ever had driving and that's not even yeah i know i've talked about this before and people were furious about it but i mean all the lesbians want to finger you right now see it's a car for women that like women but that's exactly what i said when he was talking it really is and guys who like uh guys

is that really how they get into racing though is with go-karts uh pro drivers yeah yeah they'll start them on carts as early as like but like they're kids right yeah i've always wondered about that because i always wondered how you like approach your parents and you're like i want to be a nascar driver uh well first you got to be like a billionaire yeah and then yeah and your parents and your grandparents also have to be nascar drivers it's all like in in their blood yeah to the point that they take you serious when you say that that's why that's what makes nascar so interesting it started during prohibition that's how the whole thing got kicking dude we went to a nascar no these motherfuckers need to circle

which nascar race did you go to some of them used to triangle up in the pumpkin but uh we went to the nascar race in uh in florida and like went out to the bar with one of the nascar drivers i'm not gonna say his name because like he took his work home with him and he's like like let's all get in my car and we literally like we're at the bar drinking with him and then got like five of us into his mustang and he was just had a little load on and he was just whipping through fucking uh whipping around florida but i was like this is the safest person that we could be with in this scenario oh yeah drunk driving like he was nice with it and he but he was making a meal of it he through fucking whipping around Florida. But I was like, this is the safest person that we could be with in this scenario. Oh, yeah, 100%.

Drunk driving. He was nice with it, but he was making a meal of it. He was having a nice little time behind the wheel. I think those guys, they make decisions at like 200 miles an hour. So even 60 feels like nothing to them. Yeah, it's not phasing them. It's not intimidating. It doesn't feel dangerous.

They're nowhere near the car in front of them i'll say that man carts they change your perception of speed because like you're so low to the ground and they're so quick oh yeah i'm sure that like in my in my car i forgot where i like opened it up and i was with my producer and then we i don't know we hit a point i'm like i should probably slow down. I just looked down. I'm like, oh, that was 100. I don't do that. I don't do that on public roads. It was just like an empty freeway.

What's the fastest you've ever gone in your car? In my car? I haven't actually gone that quick. Like 100, 110? Yeah. It's LA. There's nowhere you're really going to get to 110. What's yours?

How fast does the Tesla go? I've probably gone 103, but it was just to, I was very scared. Yeah. Just, you know, seeing that number on the odometer, the speedometer is daunting. Yeah. Well, it's the worst when you don't even notice, too. If you're on like a long drive. Yeah, like you're on 95 and you're like, what was that? And you're on 95 down and you're gonna wait yeah yeah yeah you realize it's been

accelerating for the last 10 minutes just listening to a podcast not doing my fucking part wow dude I was in Buffalo last year I was doing Buffalo Helium and we were going to the Bills game we were going to the Bills game me and my buddy Mook and we got an Uber can you say that?

it was in the yo and we were there was a blizzard it was a it was like uh it was the the bills dolphins game last year that ended oh shit yeah full-on blizzard yeah and our uber driver was going like a hundred miles per hour and he was like don't worry i actually race cars for fun and then he had an he had one of those ipads on the back of his like the back of his seat. And he made us pull up videos of him racing cars on YouTube while he was going

like 100 miles per hour in a foot of snow. Do you remember what kind of car? No. Subaru Impreza? It must have been, yeah. Was he like a hick? The way he was driving. Was he like redneck? No, not really. A little bit. You gotta be at least a little bit. I prefer to watch someone's racing videos than someone like play me their music like

an Uber driver. You must get that a lot. I keep it under the under wraps. People don't. I'm not like telling Uber. This is very dope. I used to watch a ton of Grind Time. That's hilarious.

Yeah. I watched a lot of Grind Time. You're old as fuck. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. Well, no.

I'm just no no no totally we're the obviously on the avatar man about the same age I've been 16 since I don't know 1990

exactly yeah once you get locked into the internet but yeah it was it was a blast grind time was hilarious yeah

it was when I mean there was is grind time what you did before that's crazy king of the dot that's crazy that's what I mean

that's how you know but yeah it was a league before King of the Dot. It's like what it's all based on. Yeah, I've watched your old grind times. They're hilarious. Yeah, they're great. I've seen that one where you went up against the dude.

Yeah, he ripped the bomb. He hit the bomb. That's sick. Is that the one where you battled the dude who didn't have anything prepared for his third verse and he tried to freestyle? Yeah, that was the first one that I ever did against a yeah against a dude named illegal that's so funny it was sick yeah it was like 2009 this is great because you're the only person you know it's great i'll i will i'll just eat through the vibe in this room you're the only one i could say like

remember when daylight took a shit on the stage i was there yeah i was in there i was in arizona now you remember that i was a huge Daylight Guy we were in the Harvard dormitory watching that live he had to go you know and people don't know that about him where are you from?

Maine you can drive fast up there but you gotta be careful you hit a moose you're gonna die because they're so tall with their legs that they don't fall

into the car they fall through the dashboard that's why people die when they hit the moose no I met someone through Battle Rap that was a quadriplegic because they hit so tall with their legs that they don't fall into the car. They fall through the dashboard. That's why people die when they hit the moose. No, I met someone through Battle Rap that was a quadriplegic because they hit a moose. Wow. That's got to be a... That's got to be like top three worst ways

to become a quadriplegic. That's crazy. I don't understand how that would happen. I would think you'd just die. There were two other people in the car and the other two people got away like scot-free and this guy just fucking lost it all. But he was a big Battle Rap fan.

Shout out to Joel. You hit a deer, they just go across the road. A moose, you break their legs and they topple. Yeah, they're so tall and top-heavy. That would probably destroy a friend group, right? If you got in a car crash and you lost all of your limbs and then your buddies just walked away completely fine. Yeah.

Like, we're going to go golf later. Yeah. They have those carts for you. We can lug you around if you want. I don't know, man. Elon put out the chip this week. Quadriplegics might be coming back. It's time.

We're going to be fired up in a mech suit. It's the perfect time. Remember all that drinking you did without me? I'm back, bitches. We'll see who's in a fucking chair with wheels now bitch pass the stanley cup oh man that's tough times yeah he's the man um but yeah it was uh grind time was a it was uh it was an era it was an incredible time yeah why were you ever think about uh rap battling about rap battling when you were watching it? Were you ever like, this could be me?

A lot of my friends would try to get me on that because I was just like, you know, I'd watch it so much. And obviously, like, I wanted to pursue comedy. They're like, you should do this. And I'm like, nah, I don't know. It just doesn't. Because I feel it's just a different headspace you got to be in. Yeah. Yeah.

You should try a little bit too hard you just say some things you probably regret yeah threaten to beat up people that you couldn't beat up stuff like that i know i'm a pussy now looking back but i'd be like i'll fuck you up dude that's why i think sharon was so crazy yeah yeah he'd walk into an all-black venue and be like i'm gonna shoot this motherfucker up he like pulled out like a fucking uh like a flag against the crip or something like yeah yeah i was like whoa it's like you were popping the nine yeah i mean there is videos of you like fucking one inch away from a dude's face oh yeah like 200 pounds more than you yeah i i like had to because at first i would like keep like more than an arm's distance because i was like i know i know

deep down i'm a pussy like i don't want to but then i realized it's like part of it you like have to like be within kissing distance you have to be a threat to kiss them at all times yeah they thought i was gonna fuck them up really i was about to hot mouth them yeah they weren't ready see and that that's why battle rap is crazy to me because you have to They thought I was going to fuck them up. Really, I was about to hot mouth them and just make out with the boys. They weren't ready. See, and that's why battle rap is crazy to me, because you have to be like this and then remember a poem after that. Dude, one whiff of bad breath would fuck up your whole verse. You saw a clip of the dude puking from way back?

I feel like there's been a couple dudes that puke. There's a dude that chest couldn't stop dudes that puke there's a dude that chest that like couldn't stop puking there's a bunch of times and no no no rock puked as well there was neither of them this is a clip that like popped up again recently it looked like there's a dude named matt daly that puked it was like a smaller league and the dude's like oh hold up i drank too much and he just projectiles like up like into his hand and then he continues and everyone is commenting like god bless his opponent for just standing there for two more rounds with the dude like they're doing this and he's got puke breath and he's just standing there like

what oh yeah that's honestly a good strategy he threw up a gang song yeah yeah you need to be able to like freestyle about that if a guy's just throwing up in front of you you gotta say something a lot of dudes have puked i've like why are they puking so much i think it's a combination of well i think they're really nervous yeah i think that they don't want to say that they're really nervous so they'll be like i drank too much water like i didn't eat all day or something like that yeah dude named fresco puked before like a bunch of dudes have uh have thrown up i know everybody that's puked and every white dude that's ever said the n-word i have them photographically memorized wow i saw one recently on the n-word i saw one recently

and every single person around him was black and then someone hit him yeah oh i saw that video the rest of the people were like whoa and then And then one guy defended, but then a black guy defended him. Yeah, yeah. They all kind of like laughed, like, hmm. He shouldn't have. But I appreciate the moxie. If there were a place to make that mistake, it's probably here. Yeah. We got to get him doing commentary on Battle Rap.

It would rule. It would be a hard juxtaposition. It would rule. imagine like it's like reacting to yes you know roan versus yeah it was just the footage and you hear the space bar and it cuts them this is the godfather of reacting to telling you that you have to do that it's high praise i'm not i you know i just i'm i'm among a you know a lineage but i'm not i don't feel that i don't know i feel like you might be Godfather. No, no, no shot. No shot, man.

No shot. Who's reacted to better than you? Probably Filthy Frank. Yeah? Yeah, because he had one where he'd pull up that image. It's like, would you stomp a puppy for $50 million? And he's like, I would beat the fuck out of that. It's just like, it was unhinged stuff, man.

That is unhinged. Yeah. You guys were much more measured in your reactions too yeah yeah i think just we were a little bit older we had day jobs yeah people didn't know that you know we looked 14 but we were fully 27 or like can't get fired let's just say something that's kind of funny yeah yeah did it affect your ability to um or do you do you uh look back on the things that you cringed at and you ever think that you cringe too hard at people or something like that or you think it was it was always fair

i think we always kept it pretty light i do think we used to do a roasting fans thing and i would go in like like i don't know comedian mode you know in comics roast it's like horrible you know they say the worst shit about people you look like yeah yeah yeah and so go ahead finish i'm sorry yeah every every roast you look like this you look like this oh no i'm thinking like when you know a bunch of comics get together and they write horrible shit yeah you ever seen the rich boss roast yeah yeah that roasted when they're talking about like jim florentine's like ex-wife and shit that one's like it's like so fucked up yeah and they're like friends but it's like literally the meanest shit that they could possibly say to one another and they also take advantage of the fact that these other comics are like vulnerable on stage and

they'll be like yeah my dad has cancer and then they'll wait for the moment to roast yeah his fucking pussy's dead dad died yeah yeah yeah yeah like comics will just say means you know it's like the only the hottest thing something something his dad's chemo treatment and so sometimes i go into that headspace and you look at some of those roasting fans ones and there's moments where he's like yo i'm like i know that was that was a banger yeah and there's some fan crying at home like oh shit i'm next holy shit that's my name he's gonna roast me what the fuck how does he know that about my dad that's what i was doing man i was researching their families and shit you're hiring like private investigators i wouldn't do that but you know what's funny too about that now is when i'll do shows i had to like do this thing where people would sit in

the front row and they'd be like roast me i had to tell them no i'm like all right that's not what this is yeah yeah say what you want it's not even that that. It's just like, I don't, I didn't bring you all in this room for me to be like. Yeah. Yeah. Fat bitch. Yeah. Yeah. So.

But people want that. I feel like that's what they think. I mean, and I do think that's maybe the base level of crowd work is like some people. Is mean. Yeah. It's just being mean as fuck. Which is funny because it's like people are paying to come to the show. Yeah.

And then like a host will go up and be like, you got I fucking hate you. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. There's some people that do it the wrong way. 100%. Yeah. They go up to like open the show.

It's like a sold out Friday night show. And the host goes up and he's like, you guys all fucking suck. Anyways, your crowd doesn't know that guy and they're like wait a minute we like sass's draft video we didn't know we were gonna be told to kill ourselves in the first i got them warmed up five minutes they're steaming mad that happens in new york and then and then the host will be like what man what's the matter with you guys you know and then every comic after that goes up, they're all just like, whatever. You guys are the worst crowd I've ever seen anyways.

And it's like, damn, dude. Yeah. It's so. That happened to. I did a show at The Stand a couple weeks ago where that happened. Where like the manager was like, they're really bad. Like everyone's saying they're really bad. And I went up and I was like, why are you guys so bad?

And they're like, I don't know. Like everyone just kept telling us we're like the worst. We're the worst group of people they've ever been around. Damn. Yeah. Or when comics will be like, this side fucking sucks. I like you guys over here. As if they came in two halves. It's like pairs of two people all clustered together.

It's completely random where everyone's sitting. I will say that show, it was the upstairs room with the stand and there was a party of 25 people so that is like legitimately a group of 25 people yeah all didn't laugh yeah that's funny that were they all blind they might have been because i had a show oh yeah you had boston where i found out five minutes before i went on stage that there was a group of 25 no deaf people yeah no wait that's way and there would be a sign language interpreter on the stage next to me for this group you should start you should start talking really fast i'm not capable you don't have that ben shapiro any no i speak as i speak very slowly and to the degree that that afterwards the group came to me and through their interpreter conveyed how much they appreciated how slowly I speak.

Holy shit. They thought you were doing it as a gift to them? I was like, that's my normal speed. You should have touched all their foreheads. Heal that vibration. Do you give them anything special for the fact that they were uh that's not a nice word for what just like just anything tailored to them uh special yeah no i mean the fun part is always

when you do like i do a joke about gorillas coming in my throat and uh just peeking at the sign language interpreter like how do you do that yeah and she was like i'm like that's exactly what i would have thought yeah you know that plays yeah it was great that's so funny of itself that's insane that is a wild but they didn't they like spring it on you too it was like right before they did and they were a little racist. Oh shit. Where they were like, we really appreciated how slowly you spoke. We've done this before at an urban comedy show

and it is impossible to translate what they are saying. Because there's no sign language for the N word. Spell it out every time. There probably is. Sign language interpreter Like She's just like you know the one You know the one You know the one

You know the one I can do She's like fella Fella No that's not what i said say what i said convey what i said the spirit of the joke damn it damn bro have you ever have any deaf folks show up to your show any blind folks deaf folks um other invalids if i didn't i didn't see him nah are you still smoking jewel i am yeah isn't that from all right we'll get back to that no we can hop right to that yeah you know i've had okay it was

it's pretty awesome i did a show in charlotte and i had two people in um motorized chairs but they didn't know each other no yeah so i was like let's turn this shit wait did you did you ask if they knew each other yeah were they sitting next to each other yeah they were sitting yeah yeah they rolled up together they gotta like they gotta like dap up when they see each other right well i was like why don't you come on stage turn the shit to like a you know like a car show like yeah yeah wait wait yeah and it's just been hanging on the back of the shit. Were they in the types of motorized chairs

that you would get at Walmart where there's a basket on the front? Or, oh, they needed them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see. Like a Stephen Hawking. I recognize,

like, I recognize one of them. She's actually super cool. I think she's been to a couple shows before. I'm forgetting her name, but yeah, she's super, like, just all about it.

She's like, writing jokes. But yeah, those But yeah those are Those are the only ones I can remember In recent memory but anyways You still smoke Juul I thought they don't sell that anymore No they do they just don't sell like the flavored Shit anymore

So just nicotine There's a pretty good doc actually About the rise and fall of Juul And it will make you feel bad For the company what yeah which is always like every documentary you have to take with a grain of salt yeah yeah oh is this the netflix one yeah it's really good but wasn't it they're like crux of why they stopped doing the flavors because they were trying to it was too like appealing to the kids yeah yeah and now

like every vape is like bubble gum was that just the narrative uh well jewel got uh blamed potential probably rightfully so to a degree for the massive explosion in addiction among teenagers oh okay and then the fda decided that the best way to combat that would be to remove the flavored pods which were specifically meant to target teenagers right but it didn't change the fact that as far as a device meant to help people like smokers stop smoking cigarettes it was by far the best solution interest to that and so fda was like we know we don't want to take it off the market completely uh so we'll allow you guys to keep operating with your regular flavored shit got it and then in its place sprung up all

these copycat yeah yeah way more tough bars are like bright pink you know have you seen the videos of the of the dudes testing them in the like the factories no you haven't seen those oh yes I have where they'll have like just like an Indianian dude just yeah yeah yeah yeah just going after every single one that could be me if barcel didn't work out why didn't noel tell me to yo should i test jules you'd be great at it dude yeah you still go hard at it i respect yeah well i used to use the disposables but then i was like if i'm not gonna quit i should probably switch to something that's not that they at least they know what it's what's in it right yeah yeah it's also your only joint life you stopped drinking you just got that blood work back that said you can't eat yeah

what's up with your blood work anymore no pastries no steak okay read the list of what they said you can't so many foods because yeah i'm shocked that you were shocked by the list it's everything bad that you could ever imagine it's like butter salt steak sausage and he's like dude they're saying i can't have ice cream anymore what the fuck is this i know ice cream i said i was surprised was on the list okay just as a specific yeah they say that would be number one well they saw his titties i don't need a lot of ice cream they said no fried greasy foods oils ice cream butter cheese pastries pies processed foods processed meat sausages fat meat mayo creams red meat wow so that limits it to what meat mayo creams so nasty fat on meat mayo creams that's just such a nasty pairing of words but that is but that those

are the most obvious culprits those are like the bad foods for you yeah i can't believe you're shocked that these are bad foods so what do you guys eat in replacement to every single thing on that list? Beet salads. Beet salad? Beet salad. Just 24-7. That's why he looks like that. Yeah.

I got to get on a beet salad kick. That's why I look younger than you. 12 years older. He'll take his shirt off. I don't know. Make sure his doctor's doctor's going like this to his nipple. He's like, you got gotta trim this down, player. Or your doctor having to go up your shirt

when he's trying to take your... Oh, yeah. Using the stethoscope, but you won't take your shirt off. I got the EKG. I got the EKG with my shirt on. Really? Oh, yeah.

I prefer not to. Wow. No, actually, I was like, should I take my shirt off? And they were like, no. And then they just made me lift my shirt off. Sass was actually the only male part of the group lawsuit

against Larry Nassar. Yeah, he should be quite a menace on the pole vault. Fucking balance fiend. I gotta leave Michigan State. What should I do? Should I try stand-up? I just thought they were standard breast exams. I didn't know.

Deacon Ginn. Deacon. Yeah, the deacon. Oh, shit. yeah deacon gin's gonna be pissed off did they ever make you climb rope when i was really young but yeah that was never part of our yeah what type of rope we talking about shoot rope climb rope catch rope push rope i had to climb the fucking did you guys have to climb the rope that shit was like nah that shit felt dangerous yeah it would be like kids that were like 40 feet off the ground with like no harness or anything it's pretty hilarious to ask like non-developed humans to go up there and like you're at your tiredness at the most dangerous part of it yeah like you're all the way at the top when you're at your tires and that's when it

becomes treacherous. Like that's when you can fall to your death. Yeah. Yeah. But they slid like one inch of gym mat underneath you expecting like the wrestling mat to save your life. No, I was recruited, which is what made it easier to get in. Oh, because you were a lacrosse player.

Yeah. Got it. And then, yeah, I was there and I was there with Jeremy Lin. Same year. I just saw that clip. Science 835. Could have been there with Pat Death. The Expanding Universe.

We were in a section together. Wow. And we would share problems with each other. And then he and I would walk from class to the place, the cafeteria, dining hall. And he would always be wearing like Harvard basketball gear, you know, jacket, pants, and then like a backpack. And I always thought he had the feeling that people would come up to him and be like,

hey, a big fan, but nobody gave a shit. He was trying to bait them into. Yeah, because years later, I went to UNC. A girl I was dating was doing med school there. And I went and saw, I saw a few of the UNC basketball players like walking into a library and they were all decked out in their Tar Heels sweats.

And people were coming up being like, great game. Anytime you need me to do your homework, let me know. Wow. And I felt looking back like jeremy lynn had thought because he was he was that caliber of a player of a star at harvard the problem was nobody cared about basketball or they probably just thought he was another asian dude at harvard because he's like what six three or something like that so he needs to stand out but that's why that guy who thinks he's jeremy lynn yeah that's what it was that's what it was what a fucking weirdo yeah dressed

the same way yeah but the unc guys i feel like they're 6 11 you know what i mean they don't need to be like i play basketball it's fucking obvious that they play basketball right there's 6 11 at unc yeah yeah but he you know he last laugh. I mean, he truly became what he was. Yeah. Damn. I think you had the last laugh, bro. You're here with us, dude. What is he doing?

I've been having many last laughs. I'm laughing a lot. You can't stop last laughs. I don't think Jeremy Lin has laughed in a long time. When was the last time he laughed? One time I went to a Rangers hockey game at Madison Square Garden and I was sitting near Spike Lee and I went up to him I had taken another class

the early films of Spike Lee which is whatever Lit B 35 or something like that glad I know that that was a good project anyway why did I bring this up I told Spike Lee I was like I took a class on you

at Harvard and do you know this professor? And he goes, I don't, but were you there with Jeremy Lin? I go, yeah. And he goes,

shoot me straight. Is it true that he was a virgin? Damn. And I was like, yeah, I think he's very devout. I think so. And he goes,

what a pussy bitch. No. Swear to God. No. And I go, thanks Spike. That's very funny. Be well. And I shook his hand and I walked away what he said that he was so disappointed to learn that jeremy lynn was actually a virgin

in in college because he's so so catholic or christian or whatever was he christian yeah he's christian okay very devout got it imagine someone teaching an entire course on you and you're not even knowing they exist that's even crazier yeah it's even while you're still alive yeah and all you can think about is like whether the student was getting his dick wet yeah now i don't know who that is but tell me about jeremy lynn was he fucking or not that's some pretty old man behavior yeah i took a class and you're my idol how much pussy yeah? Yeah. He wanted nothing to do with the academic kind of flagellating or whatever. Not flagellating. Is that the right word?

No. Flagellating is like self-flagellating. Yeah. Nasty to yourself. What am I thinking of? Me sucking his dick? Flagellation maybe? No, that's farting.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what you're thinking of. Fellatioing? Fellatioing is what I was i was there it is fellating fellating yeah fellating damn damn sorry i went in on you for your harvard no i just got nervous you're allowed to i i don't know why i don't i want to act fresh here like i just met the man you're gonna do well i'll be at the stand tomorrow maybe we can hang then oh yeah yeah i'm down uh yeah that'd be fun i'm down to just show up and see what's up yeah see the vibe

yeah alright good link you're grinding on tour bro give yeah throw some dates out yeah man I'm in Omaha next

you know I got a lot of dates this year noelmillerlive.com I will be doing the New York Comedy Fest oh hell yeah can't say when but

oh fuck we're very clear about that keep your eyes out for that one yeah holy shit yeah yeah that'll be that that one yeah holy shit yeah yeah that'll be that's gonna be fun

but yeah yeah definitely definitely gonna pop out to the stand fuck yeah alright you're a legend big fan

thank you so much for coming through thank you guys for having me man this is awesome I'm gonna be in Houston this weekend I have to say it

but I'm gonna be I was gonna not say it and now I'm like nah I gotta say it I'm gonna be in Houston this weekend at the improv get tickets and I'm away next week you gotta give got to give your super bowl pick because i'm away

next week we gotta just talk ball for like one square 49ers i don't actually want any of those teams to win and i think the chiefs are definitely gonna win but i bet on the 49ers i had a bonus bet that expired today so i used it last night francis, give us a simple pick. The spread is going to be the right bet. The Niners are favored. Are they now? The spread is they're minus one and a half. Why are they favored? Just because they have a better record. I could see that line moving a lot, though.

I think the money's going to pile into Kansas City. I think it has been moving. It was like two and a half. They were favored by two and a half. Then it's down to one. You know what's weirdly respectful about the Chiefs game? I didn't really see a lot of people clowning like the willie gay neck injury oh yeah that is you see that no yeah i guess people weren't weren't clowning that yeah willie gay on the chiefs out for a neck injury you think that there's a lot that there's a lot of meat left on that bone i just i just was expecting way more like gay next being like

I just was expecting way more games being like, all right, come on. Yeah, that is. Come on. Maybe that's why it was. Maybe it was just so obvious. Yeah, two on the nose. Yeah. Leave it there, man. Come on, bro.

Yeah. This next shirt. Who you got in the Super Bowl, bro? Or you have a rooting interest, or even if it's not a betting thing. You're a California man. Yeah. San Francisco? Nah. You don't claim San Francisco thing. You're a California man. San Francisco? Nah.

You don't claim San Francisco? Nah. Come on, man. I don't want to lie to myself in a corporation. I don't want a franchise to get in my mind like that. Silicon Valley, bro.

Fuck them. Nah, if I had to pick, I'm going to say Patrick. I think Chiefs will take it just because that whole instance with Justin Tucker, I I mean that is like that is so just petty rude and to be

at the level you're at and to behave like that Jordan-esque honestly like Jordan would be petty and rude like that that to me is like when a UFC fighter like a Brazilian UFC fighter when they cut to them for the interview and they're like I do this for God I kill whoever's in front of me like it's like that mentality totally yeah he's mowing people down yeah i

totally agree that he's on a different plane his level of competition is uh supersedes everybody else's so i'm also in the chiefs yeah because i feel like brock brock's doing it but i feel like brock's doing it in like an academic way yeah i'm here i'm here to do my job i love this team we're gonna go get them and patrick's on the other side like i'll give them damn near fuck who on the other side i'm gonna shove this ball down their motherfucking neck that's what it is i think that attitude is what's gonna carry totally agree beautifully stated yeah um check them out in omaha yeah sorry no that's exactly what we needed we needed we need because they love when we talk

ball oh we talk all this comedy shit dude they they want us to talk ball at the end of the day so we just had to give them a little okay a little taste yeah we're in Denver the weekend after and then Albany I'm gonna be walking my dog this weekend if anybody wants to slide by man I'm sorry when you do when you do battles you don't really have to promote do you what do you mean like you don't have to go super hard like you're just like i'm going i feel like the battle rap audience is like they know uh i mean you could promote there's like pay-per-views that like uh oh yes yes so like you want a lot of people to buy the pay-per-view yeah but i've never even really been like financially tied

into like a percentage of the pay-per-view actually that would probably be smarter yeah and so i could it would be more beneficial to uh to promote it but i usually don't promote i would never promote it that much i never would even talk about it that much i never want to give the other dude that much bulletin board material say something real nasty about me play like i don't know play a little white Man Can't Jump. Are you guys playing basketball? What's going on here? I love that Woody Harrelson. You guys mean basketball?

Getzoff is incredible. Oh, man. Anyway, sorry. No, no. I apologize. Sorry for talking on the show. No, I don't know if you're trying to get out of here. No, not at all, bro. I'm trained in this. We go seven hours straight. Oh, word? on the show. No, I don't know if you're trying to get out of here. No, not at all, bro. I'm trained in this. We go seven hours straight. Oh, we're?

Lock the door. Oh, we got a terabyte on that motherfucker. I'm going to burn it down. No, I'm kidding. Dude, you mentioned the UFC fighters, and I remember Israel Adesanya standing across the ring and saying, I'm ready to die. Do you think he meant that?

Yes. I think so. Let's put it hypothetically. He dies. And he looks back down on himself. Do you think he'd be like, ooh. Yeah. I don't know.

No, no, no. I think Izzy really, like, people say he's like a cringe lord. And he might be a little bit. But I think he still has that element of like like a religious fighter like i think at that moment in his career yeah i think he wanted it that bad i guess my doubt comes from the fact that i think he's very good on media on podcasts and he has more to life than just the fighting yeah the way that those religious brazilian guys yes yeah i think maybe that's maybe that i really respect him for being like i think i'm just gonna chill for a bit i think

that was like really smart but yeah i think he i think that's the problem is he actually hit superstardom right and he is a personality and you know this is what happened to connor it's like it's hard to stay motivated yeah how can you want to kill someone when you have like $50 bajillion? The money is minimal, yeah. I guess you work for, I don't know, like Northrop Grumman or some shit. But Strickland was- Raytheon. Yeah.

If you work for Raytheon- A trained killer. Yeah, you'll probably want to kill people for $50. But like Strickland was the same. He was like to the death, like shaking before that fight. Right. He was locked in. But I think that it's that for any profession.

Once you have a ton of money, like, how do you stay motivated? Yeah. I guess greatness. Like, or just getting that next contract or getting a bunch more money. Like, Patrick Mahomes has Super Bowls. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? That's true.

You're the greatest stand-up of all time. Like, how do you stay motivated? You're fucking rich beyond your own. Rich beyond anyone's. I'm just barely getting started not really but um yeah what happens when you get to like if you're if you're tom brady it's probably i don't know that's what he talked about he's like i have to like create enemies for myself because they don't exist i got what the fuck do they say what the fuck are they saying over there that's that's so

psycho yeah you have to be a psycho to like not rest on your laurels and i think a guy like that retires and then realizes he can't face the quiet yeah he can't stop oh yeah brady's been yapping non-stop since he retired yeah he's on it he's got like seven podcasts yeah yeah he lost his mind yeah lost giselle he lost giselle he lost the kids but he's about to be in the booth next year i think i know i saw that him and tony yeah that'll be interesting i hope he's good if he sucks i mean that ruins his legacy yeah if he's terrible jason winton was terrible for one year he had to go back to football he had to like strap back up and be a tight end again because he sucked so bad wow he thought that he was gonna like progress tom might be good in there because he might just hate on everyone's game i hope that's what he's been that's what he's been doing lately yeah but i mean like to do that

on broadcast like broadcast tv is really funny yeah it is you'd be like tom what do you think exciting game today and he's like i don't know he's got a weak arm yeah who is that like ripped on he's soft yeah he's soft who was the dude that shit on zach wilson on bro on the broadcast that was like after the game they were like oh yeah they were like look zach's young he's got a lot of potential and this guy's like guys let's be honest he fucking sucks wasn't it wasn't it booger mcfarland i i rodney yeah literally just like they're sitting they're on the field after the game and they're like he's trash that's that he's like why are we beating around the bush he's

bad that's harsh they love that though especially uh like espn or abc nbc like they love when former players are not pro player like if you're too pro player they're gonna be like yeah he's just sucking everybody off like they want you to be like fuck him he sucks he's not good enough. Like, they want you to be like, fuck him. He sucks. He's not good enough. Yeah. Because otherwise it just turns into a circle jerk. Yeah. You need some nasty former players to tell it like it is. Jalen Rose is very good at that.

Just saying the people suck. Saying people are bad and, you know, having the game to back it up. Just being a heel, basically. Yeah. It's tough because, like, nobody's that bad. They're in the NFL. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like, you can't just be like, they flat out suck. Who? Sc everyone always show on scalabrani it's so funny he would he would ball at like um a park near where it's like some of my friends live and my friends would go up there and they play with them and they never they knew they're like this dude was in the nba he was like a killer yeah um but my friends would tell me like the delusion people would have like walking from the parking lot being like, Scalabrine's here. Man, I'm about to peck this motherfucker. Yeah. And he'd go out there.

He'd ball on everyone. And my friends would say like, it was incredible that people could be dumbfounded by this. Yeah. He's not only 6'8", but he's in the NBA. He's in the NBA. He has red hair. It's because of how he looks. Oh, no, bro. I'm sorry. I don't think it's Scalabrine. But he did do that.. He's in the NBA. He has red hair. It's because of how he looks. Yeah.

Oh, no, bro. I'm sorry. I don't think it's Scalabrini. But he did do that. No, Scalabrini. He does do that. Matt Bonner. No, Scalabrini did do that.

He would take all comers on Twitter. He'd meet trolls at some random YMCA and then post the video. I'm thinking of the dude. He was a Laker. Ah, fuck. Was it the Mark Madsen maybe? The dude who did the goofy dances at the parades? No.

Or Adam Morrison, the dude from Gonzaga? Damn. Oh, wait. Kobe Bryant? Are you thinking of Kobe Bryant? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He recently did a clip, and this comes to to mind because he did like a podcast where he talked about it and he was talking about like i was in the nba motherfucker i'm like i'm accurate

like i you know damn it everybody in the nba could just pack up any any anyone anyone any random guy at basketball because they play basketball all year round against everybody in the summer and they dominate yeah pat bev gets the same shit there people are like dude i'll fucking play pat bev one-on-one yeah it's like dude he's in the fucking nba he's in the league he had 16 and fucking like 11 last night like that's fucking in playing against steph curry like what are we talking about yeah playing against the end the reigning mvp he just had 17 and 11 what are we talking about yeah it's crazy he's talking a little ball we almost made it through A whole episode

Of Son of a Boy Dad Pull down the Somerton football Pull down the shirt And see what's behind there We get it dude The black community Accepts you

Must be nice Battle rap NBA Yeah Damn the deaf people Rubbed off on you They sure did They sure did

They sure did Holy shit That's my community on you you sure did you sure did you sure did holy shit that's my community oh my god good shit bro appreciate you bro appreciate it sweet

that was awesome yeah yeah of course man it's on