Son of a Boy Dad - Out of Order | Son of a Boy Dad #236 ft. Harry, Feits, KB & Nick

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Out of Order | Son of a Boy Dad #236 ft. Harry, Feits, KB & Nick -- Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. All right, ready? Alrighty welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is Friday and we are here with fights KB and Nick. What's up man? What's up? What's up fellas? How we we doing? Oh, yeah. That's how we start every episode. That's it. You'll get you'll get pissed when we don't start it like that. Really? And you say they want you to say the day. Oh, yeah. So, it stays up but that

ruins the show being evergreen. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they like with them will sometimes will lie if we bank an episode and then they find out that we banked the episode and they get pissed. So is this coming out next Friday? No, this will come out Tuesday. You said Friday? Oh, they want to hear the day. Oh yeah, they want to know when this was recorded. Yeah, the historians. Yeah, put them in the mindset of like where we're at right now. Okay, cool. Yeah. Your team sucks by the way, both of you guys. Yeah, they're terrible. Yeah, it's not great. Are you going to switch to the Bills? I thought about it. Yeah.

Now, I can't do that. I was saying to Nick that like at the game last night, coming home, passers like so are Jackie. Oh, you went. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. I go home like two thirds. Yeah, not great. Tough spot. That's brutal. But the I was saying how like it's not the end of the world yet. I didn't expect to be good.

I did drink the cool it a little bit. But like I can see 15 to 20 years of being like this, like fundamentally changing who I am as a person for worse, though. What making me like again, like I'm fine right now. But if I had to deal with this for 20 years, it would make me an angry, bitter. Do you is your identity that attached to being a Patriots fan? I did not think so. And then last night happened and I was like, all right, maybe a little bit. How do you feel about Drake May like waiting around

because he needed to take a picture with his goat? Didn't like that phrase. I didn't like that. It was like, I was in wait. The goat was he calling Aaron Rodgers? Yeah. I was like in the cab ride of the way home or the Uber. He was so happy to touch his hands. You don't want that. I just like quietly punched the door.

Like, son of a bitch. Come on, man. Like, well, he's officially a bust then. You can't have that. Yeah, that's not that's not good for the Patriots. That's a bust. Mack Jones's number. We got a lot of time. We got a lot of taking Mac Jones's number. And then he also just looks like he's fucking 18. Yeah. Yeah. So he's pretty close to 21. Yeah, he looks fine. Yeah. Yeah.

He looks his age. Fuck that. I mean, dude, compared to everyone else on the field, he's a shocking. Yeah. With that helmet on. Yeah. Yeah. He looks his age. Fuck that. I mean, dude, compared to everyone else on the field, he's a child. Yeah. With that helmet on. Yeah. Has any like child looking dudes ever been great at football? The only ones that I can think of are Zach Wilson and Mac Jones. But not great. Yeah. Terrible. You just have two young guys. Yeah. Guys like Aaron Rodgers always looked.

They always looked old. Yeah. Yeah. They always had a full beard. Mac Jones, I don't think can even grow facial hair. I mean, Drake May. Yeah. Also, I can't really throw stones. I couldn't grow facial hair until like 34. But dude, you look at his face.

It's not even like I can't really grow facial hair. You look older than Drake May. Oh, well, yeah, but I am older than Drake May. But you look like, yeah, I guess, yeah, so I'm right. Yeah. Yeah, but it, no, it looks really bad, terrible. That win didn't really bother me as much as the Seahawks, or that loss didn't really bother me

as much as the Seahawks lost it. That one bothered me a lot, because it was, it was just like, I mean, I was there, so like. Yeah. But it was also kind of nice to like start hating again. Yeah, I hate the Jets. It's kind of fun when everyone gathers together as a fan base to just deliver the utmost hate.

Yeah. Yeah. The worst part was like being with Paz because he's a Jets fan. And this is new territory for me where like. Being the loser. but you don't want to dictate when the party ends. So like, I don't, I wanted to be like, I'm gonna get the fuck out of here in the third quarter. But I want to like be an asshole.

And because I know those games are so fun to be at. So I just had to sit there and take it on the chin until one o'clock this morning. The thing that was pissing me off is that the Jets fans still for some reason think they're going to win the Super Bowl. And yeah, you guys just pretty much call Jeff. I am now. You're just are not good. They're just the patriots. I think they are good. No, I think the Patriots are just

unbelievably bad. How are you adjusting to being a loser? Because you've never known it. Yeah, that's the thing that was weird for me was that first off, how long have you been like into football like this? Like three years, two years. Oh, okay. Yeah. But like, even like, it was hard.

Yeah, the gamble. Yeah. But like, the pats up on in your house, I'm sure growing up constantly. Well, that was the thing. And now you know it's Super Bowls. Yeah, that was what, I never got into football when I was younger,

because we would just watch the Super Bowl. Oh, yeah, right. No, genuinely. I was waiting for the Super Bowl. Yeah, we would just watch the Super Bowl. Oh yeah, right. I'll just wait for the Super Bowl. Yeah, we would just watch the Super Bowl every year. And it was either they were either in it or they want it. We'd watch every year and they'd be like, oh, Super Bowl tonight. Let's watch Tom Brady. Like we never watched the regular season ever. Dude, some guys like will go their whole lives supporting a

team and their best moment is like them losing in the NFC and they'll be like, hey, like we made it there. Yeah, this is the best. Yeah. Yours was just, yeah, yours was the equivalent of like watching the ball drop. Yeah. I mean, dude, six times when I was a kid, we won the Super Bowl. Yeah, right. Yeah. So it's like, so there so my only memories are winning the suit. Like, I remember, like, the Falcons game. I remember, like, being, like, pissed because we almost lost.

That was the biggest hardship. Yeah. Yeah. That was traumatic. Just like, punch a hole in the wall. Going over time is traumatic. Yeah. It took a historic comeback.

This sucks. I was like, well, they should have been ahead from the beginning. Yeah, I was a weak crop this year, Bill. Your shit together. Call for his head. The the way Jets fans were talking last night about Aaron Rogers gave me a glimpse into how Bucks fans talk about Brady and that pissed me off because they were like, this is our quarterback for diamond. I felt like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This is your quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, but you don't get to start fucking listening off his head like that. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. When Brady was on the box, like that, that would suck to have people be like six super bowls. Yeah. That's our go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, the Patriots are terrible. I mean, the Jets could be good. I might be wrong. I just they look, they definitely looked good this week, but also I'm always wrong. So there's also that like I was talking to my buddies this week at the stand

and I was saying, buddy, this kid, Tom McGuire. Damn. We were talking about the Saints and I was saying that the Panthers are bad this was after week one and I was saying that the Panthers are bad for the NFL because they're making teams like the Saints they're making Saints fans think they're good and then I was like the Saints suck and then they beat the Cowboys bad 44 to 19 yeah, and I was like I immediately texted I was like, I think I was wrong about the Saints. I Don't know if you are though. I

Could see them still suck. They could still suck but they look really good against the Cowboys. Yeah Do you guys talk sports a lot? I was gonna say this is long. It's on son of a boy that we talk sports Yeah All right, a bunch of jock listeners. We think about Sheldon Ohtani. That was pretty nuts. That was pretty cool. Yeah.

I don't know baseball. He got there was one he was going for a triple and he got thrown out at the bat. He got thrown out, but they still counted as a hit. Why? That's a double, right? Double with an error. Double with an okay base running error. And then I think that kind of puts a damper on it.

I did not know that. Yeah. I wish you didn't tell me that. Sorry running error. And then the, so I think that kind of puts a damper on it. I did not know that. Yeah. I wish you didn't tell me that. Sorry, man. Yeah. How do you know that definitely speak English by the way? Oh, and the dugout. Absolutely. Does he just not like interviews or something? Probably. Yeah.

Why do people think he can speak English? Cause he's talking to the guys in the dugout. He looks at the dugout and he's like, let's fucking go. He said, let's fucking go. Let's fucking go. In that accent. let's fucking go. Let's fucking go. In that accident, let's fucking go. Let's fucking go. That's my show.

And like he does it like it's not quite there. I'm close. Yeah. Did he have a Philly accent? Yeah. He had someone geeky. Did he? I don't know.

I laugh. You can't have some. A chick. He had a chick. Maybe she was just racist and laughed at his Japanese. That would get me going. Yeah, if Shohei went up to a chick and he was like, I, like, I'd be like, yeah, that guy's hilarious.

That's probably what it was. Yeah. She was like, Oh my God, you sound hilarious. You sound funny. Dude, Japanese dudes should just be comics and go up and speak. Like this guy's going fast. Show some more. His posture is so good. He's so well put together.

This is really funny. The isn't it kind of depressing, though, how like baseball is like he he he achieved this like record that maybe no one will ever get again. And then you look in the stands and there's like 45 people there. It was in Miami, right? I don't know where it was. I don't know either. It wasn't a home game. Yeah, it was in Miami. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't go now. And baseball is the best sport to watch in person. I actually think I very rarely would ever say this, but like I think if I actually can call me on it because I didn't go to any of his games in New York.

But like if I was in town and Shohei was playing, I'd go. Yeah, I think he'd like he'd like we were when we were in Vegas. We were in Vegas for recently. You would go if you had nothing else to do and the tickets were free. But like I may have misspoke. It's the best. It's better than. We were in Vegas. We were in Vegas for a reason. You would go if you had nothing else to do and the tickets were free. But like, I may have misspoke. It's the best. It's better than that. You might call me on that.

But it's so hey, Tony was playing in New York tonight and I was like, fights. Let's go to see show. You'd be like, no, I think I'm not. Yeah, yeah. Because like as much of a superstar as he is, there's still like an 80 percent chance he's gonna go like, one for three. That's what baseball is. He's the best ever.

Watch him get on base 25% of the time. That's why I just can't get in. I went to the Red Sox Yankees game last Thursday and it was fun, but I was like, the whole time I was like, if someone was like, we have to leave right now, I'd be like, okay. Yeah. I for sure misspoke. It is the only sport that it's better to go in person than watch on TV. Yes. I agree. That's true. Though football is significantly pure football. Yeah. What a bad, bad product. It's insanely bad.

You need like a million pop ups. You need to like have tick tock actively open on your dude. I's insanely bad. You need like a million pop ups. You need to like have Tick Tock actively open on your dude. I need to see fucking Peter Griffin fighting the chicken on the Jumbo Tron the entire time. Chicken walloping on so nice. John Little John Pork up there. Are you guys familiar with John? Yeah, but I don't I don't think I get it. I don't get it either. I love it. It's a sentence that gets shorter and shorter.

It's just like a brain rot fucking a video of this dude or this pig. I guess John pork and he just sings songs about like Libby Dunn and the grimace. Oh, I was so wrong. You know, I'll play you guys a little John pork and he just sings songs about like Livy done and the grimace. Oh, I was so wrong. Yeah, I'll play you guys a little John pork. What is John seen like the slideshows on TikTok where it's like a pig man and it's just like a sentence that they keep on losing letters and words until it just turns into John pork. Oh, they might be. They might be doing some remixes of John pork. Yeah.

Yeah. Is he the next wave? Yeah. Is he from a television show? Here, this is no audio. But this is John Pork. Oh, that's scary. Yeah, I've seen that face. That's the same pig man I've seen. Yeah, yeah.

And then he's always had the calling thing. So it's like John Pork's going. Yes. Do you laugh at that when you see it? I have the songs. Yeah, the songs are great. Yeah. I need that grimace shake from Libby done. You were like, hell no. Wait, that is that is really funny. That's so good. Late ate. So good, dude. Late at night, if you scroll on Instagram and John Porte pops on the timeline, I'm howling

mad. Like neighbors are knocking on the walls. Enough, Porte! Harry! Kill it. This is my ever growing quest to just really lock in Harry's sense of humor. And I can't get it. No, usually I usually I hate that. But you like John and John.

You need to mature like us and laugh at regular Japanese guys. Every time, every time I talk to Sassy, he's always recommending some new comic or not recommending, but talking about some comedy he watched, which is just wildly different than what I would have pictured that like, Seth. Sebastian. Yeah, you're a big fan. I watched the basketball for 12 hours. I wouldn't have you pay for that.

I'm going to see Sebastian tomorrow. Oh, wow. MSG. There's been a lot of buildup. Yeah, no, you really teasing that a lot. I know, I'm pumped. It's so sick. Dude, yeah, you'll be at home listening to 12 hours of Sebastian from the Bataskalco to study and work too. Yeah, chill Sebastian.

Lofi Sebastian to study too. Slowed down Sebastian. I was watching Sebastian last night. Getting warmed up. I believe you. My friend Matt is here. Dude, I hope it sucks so bad. I know. I'm very worried that it will.

Isn't he just like a successful comedian? Yeah. Okay. He's like Italian and he does the void. Is there a deeper layer to why? No, he does the voice. Is there a deeper layer to why? No, he's just funny as hell. That seems like.

And I was showing he's not funny. I like Sebastian. It just it shocks me how into Sebastian you are. I think he's like the best ever. Do you know, I think he's so funny. I mean, actually, well, the thing that's weird is that three of his specials, I really don's like the best ever. I mean actually well the thing that's weird is that three of his specials I really don't like. There's just one. But he has one that's really funny. Is that the one you keep watching? Yeah, yeah. Well, my buddy Matt's here. He got in last night and my other friends get here today.

And- You guys are all going to Sebastian. We're all going, yeah. Tuxes, we're wearing tuxes. And- No, you're not. No, but I was like, have you seen any Sebastian? And he was like, I've seen one of them.

And then I pulled up, aren't you embarrassed? And I was like, have you seen this? And he was like, no. And we got like 20 minutes in and I was like, I've seen one of them. And then I pulled up, aren't you embarrassed? And I was like, have you seen this? And he was like, no. And we got like 20 minutes in and I was like howling laughing. And then I looked over and he's dead asleep. Why do you howl at the rewatches as well? Oh yeah.

Every, cause every time you're watching it and you're like, I forgot about this one. But like, if you've watched it enough, no, you didn't forget about it. No, I had you do. It's honestly like, dude, I was watching Andrew Dice Clay at MSG where he does the nursery rhymes. Yeah. And everyone says I'm back.

And like, I'm kind of like, dude, I'd be fine if he just did this entire special. And we just got to watch it live again and like repeat the jokes back. Will you like lip sync? Oh, yeah. back to you. Will you be like, do you like lip sync? Oh, yeah. You say, yeah. You put your hands in the air and just say it along with it. It is great, though.

He's funny. It's the real deal. It is funny. Dude, it will really, really tickle me pink if you have a miserable time tomorrow. Yeah, it's definitely a possibility. Yeah. The odds are you're only like 25% of what he makes. I've only been to I haven't been to like a comedy show. I like to like go to a comedy show and forever.

But like I try to think if I've if I've ever been to one that was like terrible. You you definitely you guys definitely have you in career. Yeah. What was the the Barst the bar stool blog? You reviewed a comedy show. I got to remove that from the internet. Like tenting his fingers at his desk. He's like 40 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. You were just like, I need to get something. I was like, I have to, I was going to get fired.

Yeah. I forgot about that. It was before I was on the Yak. What show did you review there? The Pete Davidson, 9-11, 9-11 reunion show. Oh, you reviewed that? What was the review? Yeah. And what was your rating? What was your scale? Dude, every single thing was like John Mulaney was pretty good.

That's it. Dude, that's better. Just ran down the list of every comic. Wait, you started to kind of cut this off, not cut this off, but you just said something that reminded me of last night. Is this not the most outrageous fantasy football team or a fantasy league name? 9-11 Flag Football League? Their logo is pretty sick. It was just like an ad at the game. Oh, this was at the. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, that's great. That's at the game. It was like that. Yeah, I thought you I thought it was like not friends, dude, if the flags were each tower would be so funny. I take it to the career. I was like, I want to see these guys play the game. Yeah.

So is that is that league exclusive? Yeah. What do you have to do? It didn't. It didn't. About elaborate. It was just that was it. Here's the 9-11 Black Football League. What the fuck is that? I would I would guess it's survivors, but it might just be regular people.

I don't know. Could could there be enough survivors to field an entire league of flag football enthusiasts? I think flag absolutely. Yeah. Flag football. Leisure. Everyone's a survivor these days. I guess. Yeah, we survived it. Yeah. Everyone you talk to is like, oh, I was supposed to be on the plane.

Yeah. How big was the fucking plane? Like that was one flight. There's like five celebrities. We're on it. I've never seen a famous person on my plane. That one was on a star. How was so many people on that? So many notable people. It was a boss in LA in September morning. Celebrity transit.

Wasn't there one from Boston to New York? No, they were all Boston. They were boss up Boston to LA. Okay. I was going gonna say, because that's like a fucking Delta connections with 80 seats on it. It was, I, I, I remember the one in our town was like our woodworking teacher's daughter was supposed to be the stewardess. So she didn't get the job. Yeah. She's actually not even a flight attendant. She just was going to be a flight attendant and she could have been on that flight. If I had finished school, I's actually not even a flight attendant.

She just was going to be a flight attendant and she could have been on that flight. If I had finished flight attendant school, I would have been on that. Yeah. Yeah. People really get off on almost. Yeah. It's a big thing. The one guy that did that was in the league. Yeah. Completely. He got fucked. Yeah. Didn't he say he was like in the towers? He said he was in the towers. Yeah.

And I've interviewed him before and I did not ask about it. And I'm a person. What else? What was he on the media circuit for? He was going on tour. He's on tour with Ari. So he and Ari came on the show. Yeah. He's a comedian. Yeah. OK. Steve Raina Zizi. Yeah. Guy seemed like.

But yeah, like a wild one to be like I was in a tower. You don't need to do that. You don't need to lie about that. That's something if you lie once, maybe he was wasted. I think that's one dude and he had to keep going. Yeah, I think he got embarrassed. Yeah, to get caught up. I think he got caught in like a bad lot.

Like I think it was like maybe like a joke or something. And then someone was like, you know, he was in and then he just had to go. I don't know. That feels really avoidable now that I think about it. Yeah. After the first person comes up to you and they're like, were you in the tower? You know, it will be funny. I said that started spreading. How long has he been telling that lie? I don't know.

It'll be funny if he lied that he was in that tower before 9-11 happened. He was like cheating on his girlfriend. He's like, I'm at the World Trade Center. And then the plane is like, oh, fuck, I keep this on forever. I think I'm like actively working to keep the league not that big a show. Oh, yeah. He keeps trying to torpedo. He's like, you can't get that.

Yeah. Start looking into us. Yeah. Yeah. As you get more and more popular, it's like they're going to dig this up. Yeah, that's a I feel like that's been is there another celebrity that did that too? Or is it just like there was? It's like I'm in a couple.

Wahlberg said he would have stopped it. Yeah, which that's not a lie. Not a lot. Yeah. Do you think you would have stopped it? No, definitely not. I want Wahlberg's like five, six, but like 150 pounds. I don't think he would have stopped it. I think you would. But I've never seen a jacked terrorist.

There were probably like eight other dudes on that flight that had a better chance of stopping it than Mark Walberg. No. Wrong. Absolutely. Dude, Mark Walberg has at least like hand to hand combat training. Dude, you are so Boston. Yeah. No, this is warning. I don't think Mark Walberg would have stopped the terror. I don't think he would have stopped it in any capacity. I think I think he would have had doesn't think he would have given one a bad day.

I think I think Mark Wahlberg, what was he probably like 35 at the time? Yeah, maybe younger, maybe younger. I think I think I think he's going to if he fights one guy, that guy's going to have a tough day. If then he's going to die regardless, that's why he's going to stop it. But I think I think you don't want to run to Mark Wahlberg in a dark alley. As a terrorist, I think Wahlberg or any so many. He's a theater boy. The actors are he's a hard criminal.

Actors are the stage performers. Yeah, no, I don't think Mark Wohlberg could have stopped. He does have that plane. That movie coming out, though. But he would have what movie he's got a movie coming out where he like stops a terrorist attack on a plane. No. Yeah. Really?

Yeah. I swear to God. It's like his next movie coming out. I've kind of grown out of Marky Mark. Me too. In a way. I used to love him and now I kind of... I have not been keeping tabs on him. He has this new clothing brand that's like super... Oh he wears it exclusively. Yeah. Bless up. Stay blessed. Wakes up at 2 a.m. to pray.

Yeah. The movie's called Flight Risk comes out in 2025. The U.S. Marshal boards a small plane to transfer government witness to New York. as they cross the Alaskan wilderness, tensions start to rise as not everyone on the flight is who they appear to be. Yeah, he's reliving a fantasy. Yeah, it's like people making jokes about it. I got to show him.

I could stop. Yeah, let's make a movie about it. Yeah, we're supposed to be on there. Why? I want to know what other celebs were supposed to be on there on that flight so I could cherish them a little bit harder while we have them. Dude, I mean, I've never really. Every flight I'm supposed to be on, I'm on. Yeah, right. Oh, my God.

Yeah. And like if something else came up, I'd be like, nah, I have a flight. Everyone, everyone on 9-11 was the opposite. Yeah.. I can't go to LA. I forgot that it's for some reason. I really wanted to just enjoy coffee with my wife. Yeah. You always hear that. So I decided to skip my flight to LA, babe. I'm late. I'm late for my flight as is, but yeah, I'll bring the drop the kids off at school. Yeah. It's also like, dude, flying from Boston to L.A. Like that time difference, like you got to take that like that if you don't take the current flight, you're on. You're not going to get there.

Oh, you're fucked. Yeah. So you're going to be there early. Yeah. I don't believe any of the almost. I don't either. No. I think if you were supposed to be on the flight, you were on the flight. The flight was packed, sold out. Yeah. Yeah.

It was just sold out. Yeah. It was a hot event. The tickets were going fast. Limited tickets remaining. We know what that means, right? I do love the idea of like, when I was at the Yankees Red Sox game,

I was saying I love the I was at the Yankees Red Sox game, I was saying, I love the idea of like the Yankees hitting up Aaron Rod, Aaron Rod or Aaron judge and being like, uh, you know, you think you, you think you could like a share a story about the game tonight? Like to promote tickets. Let me get a repost on your stories. Hey guys, it's going to be really fun. Hey, guys, it's Aaron. Only a couple of tickets left.

Make sure you grab them now. That happened like last week with Sidney Crosby. Really? Sidney Crosby resigned his or resigned the contract with the Pittsburgh Penguins for Sidney Crosby is arguably, you know, on the Mount Rushmore NHL players of

all time. Yeah. And he's had a two year deal for 8.7 million dollars. He does everything 87. And that's really salary salary. 8.7 I would have guessed 180. Yeah. And then they immediately put him to work going around knocking on season ticket. Oh, I saw he's done that every time. He's the man.

I'm not going to stand for any. Oh, no, no, I love sitting because it's just it's every time NHL star signs a contract and you're like, oh, yeah, this is this is not a real league. No. And then they were like the eight point seven million is mostly for you being a liaison for ticket influencers or ticket holders. Yes. Right. That's so weird. How little hockey like what's like the highest contract in the NHL? I don't, I want to say it's like, it's,

oh, it's a dry sign, I just signed it, I think it's 12 average. Jesus. Meanwhile, like a 12th man on the bench in the NBA is making like 35. Yeah. Do you ever gawk, the ESPN roster has the salaries of the NBA players.

You just look and gawk. It's insane, it's insane. Well, I've never looked at the NBA. There's 10 guys of the NBA players. You just look at golf. It's insane. It's insane. Which I've never looked at. There's 10 guys on the team making 50 million, 20 million dollars. That's crazy. I mean, I, I, I, I, I didn't know Pat Bev's career earnings

are like 90 million something. Dude, if I were Pat, I wouldn't be doing shit right now. Yeah. Yeah. No. How much you gotta love the game to be like, I'll go to a war to a country while I'm worth a hundred million dollars. For like one more million. Yeah.

Yeah. Dude, you know, it's like so dangerous to be that rich anywhere else. Oh yeah. Like kill you. And I'm pretty sure he probably stands out a little bit more there. Yeah. Why do you think that? Because they're in Israel. It's a bunch of like five, four Jews.

Thank you, Perry. And then just Pat Bebbs. Pat Bebbs is just seven feet tall. And he's not Jewish. Do you think a Yamakos could touch a dreadlock? Some of those guys have dreads. You're right. Yeah, they'll have like one dread just hanging in the front. You're sneaky Jewish.

I am Jewish. No. I went over this last episode, I got a, I'm doing the ancestry.com. To find out if, can't you just ask your parents? Well, I'm doing it to figure out how Ashkenazi Jew I am to figure out if that's the source of my stomach problems. Go to the doctor dude.

Yeah I want to figure out if I'm Jewish though. Yeah. Well because my dad's 80% Ashkenazi Jew. Your dad's 80%? Yeah. How do you get to be 80% of a religion? I don't know. It's an ethnicity. It is. Yeah.

We had a caller on KS radio the day asking like something you found out way too late in life. And mine was that like my name was Jewish. Yes. Yeah, I was the victim of like, and your friends. Are you are you Jewish at all? No, like my great, great grandmother or something like that was my great, great grandfather, I think. But I would like I would I had a hockey camp when I was young where they would slide swastikas under my door and I would just like step over. They would slide swastikas under your door.

That's great. That's it. That's anti-Semitic. They got like, that's a threat. I would. And then when I was in my freshman year of college, I went to the Catholic college and they drew swastikas by door. And again, I opened the door. I was like, it's not me. I don't know.

Why do these guys follow me around? Slide a swastika. Where they like like you draw arts and crafts and cut it out. Yeah, they were like drawn on a paper. They made them a topical stick. Yeah. I came in, they built a baby mobile over my bed of slots.

That's crazy, dude. You're a Vic. You could probably get some like money out of that. Yeah, I know. I like to think back on like what those kids thought that I like these kids.

They probably impermeable to me. Yeah, this is we can't get affected at all. Yeah, yeah. That's one tough Jew. Jews got thick skin. They probably weren't even worried about it. This guy is a can't get up. We're not affecting him at all. Yeah, yeah. That's one tough Jew. The Jew's got thick skin.

This guy might be the man. Nah. He really rolls with the punches. Didn't Dave Portnoy write a blog like, wait, Seidelberg isn't Jewish? He like, Dave didn't, and I honestly would guess if you attach him to a lie detector, he still does not believe me. Like he thinks I'm just lying. I don't believe that Tommy is not Jewish. Oh my god. Yeah. Yes. There's no way he isn't. Everything about him screams

Jews screams it. Yodels on the mountain. You see Tommy from from four blocks over and you're like, look at that fucking Jew. Dude, he has severe allergies every season. Yes, yes. He is he's advanced Jewish. You ever seen him come in with the after post allergy test? Dude, you ever seen when someone does that,

if you get an allergy test, stay home. They come in, they Tommy comes into work. His arm has like gashes all along. It's just and it's like, dude, I don't wear long sleeves. You're going to get an allergy test. He wants to see that shit. Yeah. How often does he get an allergy? Yeah. Once a week.

I got one like one time. But that's all that's very Tommy to be like, I got to find out if I got any new allergies. Yeah. Yeah. Once a week. I got one like one time. But yeah, but that's all that's very Tommy to be like, I gotta find out if I got any new allergies this year. Yeah. Yeah. He's got to come out. He got us too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Both two birds. The most I think the most interesting thing he does is he has to make sure he gets an ILC on planes because he has to pee so. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, I gotta use the bathroom a lot. What are you talking about? You're an adult man. Yeah. Control your bowels. Yeah, but also getting stuck in like the fucking window seats. The window seat's the best. It's the best. The view you get from a plane window is better than anywhere you can travel to see a view.

I was, oh my God, flying into New York at night. You experience awe and wonder. Flying into New York at night is pretty sick. There was a Mets game going on and like people weren't looking out their windows. Yeah. I was so pissed. Dude, I went to a birthday thing for somebody on-

Party? Yeah, on Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday. I forget, I keep forgetting it's Friday. And dude, I biked to Brooklyn? I don't know where this is going. He's out of his mind. It was sick. I was looking I was looking at the skyline in New York. It's awesome. Dude, it was like the sickest thing.

I was like the adrenaline pumping through me going down the bridge. Oh, yeah. You go so fast. Were you afraid? Horrified. Yeah. Yeah. But I was. Go on. What were you gonna say? I was, did you get scared arriving in New York? Scared. Yeah, like I think I've been too habituated to the Midwestern whites. Oh yeah. I walked out of my hotel and shrieked at the diversity. Yeah. It is insane. It feels like a different country. Dude, there are some races like there was like seven continents worth of people. Yeah. A hundred ethnicities all on one Yeah, it is insane. It feels like a different country. Dude, there are some races I forgot about.

There was like seven continents worth of people. Yeah. A hundred ethnicities all on one street corner. Yeah. It was like, ah! Where are you from? Out of respect. Where are you staying?

Out of respect. In Koreatown. No, respectful shriek. It was like, whoa. Holy shit. I'm used to like Iowa grads wearing Nike. Yeah. Yeah, Chicago's not very diverse at all. Well, it's just very split.

White, black, Mexican. Yeah. I got used to that. And it's all like the where you guys are that whole area is just whites. Oh, it's my area is like the biggest melting pot for like white people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I've heard big school. Yeah. I was seeing that last night at the game, like in games. I mean, like you go games in Boston. Oh, yeah. Everyone's white. Yeah. And last night I was like, there's a lot of different races. Do we sat in the bleachers at the Yankees Red Sox game? I think I was the only white dude in the entire area. Really? Yeah. I forgot what that was like.

The most shocking minority I'll see is I'll go out to a bar and there will be a white Michigan state grad. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be like, oh, get out of here. Yeah. You. Go back to where you came from. In Michigan.

Lansing? Yeah. Dude, I can't even understand what you're saying. It's like a big 12 dude walks into a bar. I was wearing West Virginia **** and people were calling me the N word. Oh man. That's you. Are you guys like Chicago still? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I just yeah. It sucks. You think it sucks? No, it's fine. I like it a lot.

I just don't like that everyone moved there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I'm cool with it. I like it a lot. Yeah. You don't miss New York at all. No, I miss having fun. If you like to have fun, this is probably. Well, Chicago's fun, too. Yeah. But like in New York, you could guarantee fun every night.

Yeah. If you wanted to. And I would never take advantage of that in a trillion years. But it's nice to know. But it's the unscratched fun every night. Yeah. If you wanted to. And I would never take advantage of that in a trillion years. But it's nice to know. But it's the unscratched ticket. Yeah. Anytime I want. Anytime I want. Like it's Monday. I could go out to a crowded bar. Yeah. I was going to say Chicago like Boston, where it's like you got Thursday to Saturday, Sunday a little bit. Yeah. It's healthy. Yeah. But like you can't go to a bar on a Tuesday. No. Right. Which is like that was fine. It's fine. Yeah.

Yeah. You can't go get fucked up to like four a.m. on a fucking city. Yeah, he's backwards as fucks. Kavie, are you still off the sauce? I'm currently off weed and booze. Really? It's been so boring. I just threw in the towel on free will. Yeah. So many options in Chicago.

And it's just gym work, watch TV with my girlfriend and then fantasize about being a 24 year old raver from San Diego. Why'd you give up reading boots? It's just, it's cyclical. Like, yeah, you know, it becomes too much off of it. And then I get too bored of feeling good. So, you're off the booze, right? Yeah. You've been for a while.

How long? Like nine months. Dude, when you're like our age, you're gonna regret this so much. Yeah, probably. Yeah. How old are you? Yeah, you're 23.

23. Someone told me they saw you getting funky after a show. Yeah? Lay at a bar getting funky. I haven't been to a bar real nine months probably. Yeah, would you break if you went to a bar? No, no. I'm going to do for fun video game.

Yeah, you know, I played that new Space Marine game. You played it. No, you like it. I'd like it. Yeah, dude. I just have a PlayStation 2. Yeah, yeah. So I get a bandicoot.

I do have crash. Yeah, yeah. Space Marine did I get a five. I do have crash. Yeah. Yeah. Space Marine dude. I beat the game in two days. But like, do you like, are you like smiling? It's like a 20 hour game. Jesus Christ, Harry. Yeah. Are you, how are you good? Um, I've been to your apartments before and like you were like, uh, you collected a lot of empty bags of beef jerky, like stacked to the ceiling. My apartment's clean as hell. Yeah. Yeah. It's super clean. Nice. Yeah. Because you moved. I moved. Yeah. Since you guys last were at my apartment. Yeah. But my, my new spot's pretty nice and I got a pretty, pretty sweet setup. Yeah. It's very clean. It's all, that's really

my thing these days, maintaining my space. I like that. Oh yeah really? Oh yeah. Yeah. Take that's what Jordan Peterson says, you got to take care of your landscape. Do you think that's due to sobriety? Like you have more. Oh, absolutely. How do you evade so much peer pressure that you're always doing shows and out at clubs? Because like 90% of comedians are sober.

Really? Oh really? But like that's because they were addicts for decades. Yes. You just decided to skip all that. Well, I was going down that path for sure. Oh, absolutely. I'll think about randomly all like shit will come

into my head about like the stuff I used to do. And I'm like, oh my God. There was a stretch of like one month where you were like out till 6 a.m. Yes. Every single night. I remember that. Well, that was the thing is I was like missing the yeah.

Dude, yeah, you were such a piece of shit. I was sleeping through a 1 p.m. Show And you're like should I tell them like that I was out that late we're like no no sat down he's broke You're like, yeah. Sorry. I missed yesterday. I was out to five. Yeah, I slept through the yeah Fuck I remember one specifically was we did we did a We did like a draft or something or we did like a draft or something, or we did like a, we did something where we were drinking on a Friday for the yak. And I was out until like 7 a.m. the night before and I had to get to the yak and I was going home to Massachusetts that day too. And I had to wake up, go to the yak, drink more and then take a, take a train back to

Massachusetts. And then I think I saw you on the train and I was, I had like four Bud lights on my, on my tray on the train. And I remember you came and you brought me more. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah. That is a slippery slip. And I remember seeing a tech guy, Andrew in in the office. And I remember him walking by me and looking at me and just going, ooh, you look like shit. And he's just honest. He meant it. And I was like, I'm exhausted.

I'd been drunk for 24 hours. Dude, you've been doing this, working here backwards. You rolled in a really dog shit employee. And then you became a good one over time, which is so backwards. I'm, I, Dude, remember the roof challenge? You almost got fired like your first week.

Yeah, that was bad. You kept on missing weigh-ins for the roof challenge. Well, that's because they would text me and be like, weigh-ins in 10 minutes. And I'd be like, well, I'm not in the office. Yeah. You were just like, you got hired and you're like, yeah, I'm not, I'm not coming in.

I'm not doing anything. I, well, I'm like you got hired you're like, yeah, I'm not I'm not coming in I uh, well, I'm like pretty much part-time. Oh, okay Yeah, all my only thing is son of a boy dad and out of order, but I don't even get paid for out of order Yeah, like that's not even a part of my contract really. Yeah, my contract was literally like son of a boy dad only, okay And then Dave was like we don't care what you do As long as you're putting out the episodes on time every week. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. Will you, would you ever get an itch to like hop and do something else? If stuff starts going really bad for me. Yeah. Okay. If dude, if, if standup starts really not working out, you'll, I'll be in like,

I'll be hosting most dangerous games. I'll be like bringing everyone in the New York office to Central Park. We do like water gun battles. Not a new idea for a series. We're all going to camp out in Central Park tonight. for a series we're all gonna camp out in central part tonight. The day I open twitter and you're like egg on a spade. You just listed things we've done. You said things Spidelberg's been egged. Very funny office chair. Dude fights like when Sass first moved here, me and Kyle were walking around, and we were telling him what we do. And Sass was like, dude, if I'm doing this at 30,

I'm killing myself. And I already said the day before. It was like Nick's 30th birthday. We're out for my 30th birthday right now. Dude, if I'm doing this at 30, I'm dead. 30th. Dude, if I'm doing this at 30, I'm dead. Dude, the day I opened Twitter and I see a graphic that like SAS is hosting a beer pong tournament at Barstool. Oh, that's dude. That's common. That's so funny.

It's your cross-armed. Granny behind you. We filmed a sketch, we filmed a sketch the other day and we were at a kitchen and I was standing behind the kitchen and I turned to fights and I was like, I was like, it's just a little glimpse into my future right here. Just working at a kitchen in five years from now. Flipping burgers. Dude. I'm fully prepared for it to all come crashing down. You love it too much. You work too hard at it. There's no chance. There's always a chance.

It's just not working out. It's a big chance. What would you say the odds are? Like 70%. Dude, I thought when I put out that don't tell set, I was like, this is going to change everything. Didn't change. It did well. I was still happy with it. Yeah. But like, uh, I was like, when I put that out, my initial thought was like, dude, I'm

staying at Barstool for as long as I can. I'm sticking this out for as long as I possibly can. There's nothing more disheartening when you put something out and you're just like, tomorrow I'm gonna walk in, I'm gonna have a different air. Dude, I felt like strangers were gonna be, you know, remember that story of fucking,

Danny DeVito tells a story about when he did Taxi? And he said that, like, that was back when TV, there was only like four channels so He would get like 80 million viewers per episode and he had like a 30 second cameo in an episode of Taxi And he went out the next morning and he was an A-list celebrity That's pretty easy. That's what I thought was gonna happen when I put out this don't tell set I thought I was gonna go and like the dude at the bodega was gonna be like I saw you on TV Dude there's just too much to look at now.

There's no chance. Yeah. But it's freeing to get over that. Yeah. Yeah. Not a lot of eyes on TV. No, yeah. I was within three hours of it coming out.

I was like, this will be good, but it's definitely not going to. That's fine. Change stuff for me. Yeah, but it's still disheartening. And it happens to, I'm sure, all of us, something we think is life changing. Not life changing, but this is a thing that I'm proud of. I worked hard on this. Oh life change, not life changing, but like, this is a thing. I worked out of this.

Oh yeah. Yeah. And people were like, that was good. Yeah. Yeah. I would rather people say it sucked. It was like, yeah, it was cool. Yeah. A lot of people were like, that was really good. Excited that I can't wait to see how he progresses. And in my head, I was like, this is the best I'll ever be.

You can tell this kid has gone, once he puts it together, You can tell this kid is gone once he puts it together. This sass kid has all the tools. It's just got to figure it out. It was crazy though, dude. That was like, cause it did well. Like it did do very well. It got like 200,000 views. So I was like, pumped about how well it did.

But like, yeah, like dude, the, it was like the most stressed I've ever been the first like 24 hours that I was, it was like, pumped about how well it did. But like, yeah, like, dude, the it was like the most stressed I've ever been. The first like 24 hours that I was. Oh, it was like. You ever see like when you walk by like Jack Max desk or something, and he has like six desktops or like, yeah, like 10 jack and like tweet deck up and shit. That was me just reading the comments like I like. I remember it was like 10 hours into it being out and I was like, oh shit. I wonder if they posted on Facebook.

Did you go to the downloaded Facebook like created an account to go look at the comments on that. You're on Vimeo. Yeah, but yeah, it's weird. It's tough. It's tough to be I did. I think it put it in perspective for me how hard it is to have something in stand-up do like Really? Well, yeah, like to get something to get like a million views on YouTube

It just it also sucks because like I think the majority not you of people will watch a stand-up special once Oh, yeah, damn. I'm excited for him to put out your first thought is like I'm Yeah, yeah instead of a movie where like that was awesome. I want to go him to put out your first thought is like I'm excited to see the next yeah yeah yeah instead of a movie where you're like that was awesome I want to go back to the theater yeah like so you put it out and that was probably like three years of work for you yeah and then they're just like oh yeah let's hopefully he puts out another one too yeah can't wait for more just staying relevant has to be nearly impossible you're probably like people in your immediate circle are the biggest comics in the world. That's a good comparison. To sell them. Then they all move to Austin.

Now it's like in your like, you know, personally, now I'm like the I'm the biggest person in my circle. I have my own. By like a large margin, like the leader of the pack, like it used to be. Who's the second place? Shout out to them. A year ago today, I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, this is my crew. I'm friends with the most famous people in comedy and now it's just.

But you guys still text? Yeah, I'm still friends with all those people. So yeah, like you're comparing yourself to them a lot. Did like some of them text you after the Don't Tell came out and was like, that was good? No, no, never. Sorry for asking. Yeah, never. Cool. Maybe that maybe I haven't seen it yet. They're probably waiting to watch it. Wait for like a rainy Sunday or something. You're checking the weather in Austin.

What football's on? Yeah, you're waiting for an overcast day in Austin, and then just waiting for Shane to text you. No. He should be watching. It's praying for rain. In Austin. It's your default weather on your phone.

You know it hasn't rained in Austin in three weeks. Oh, that's yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, but now things are going well. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What's the yak? What? How's the yak? It's fun. Fun. Yeah. Yeah. How's that?

You still bringing a change of clothes to work every day? I haven't gotten wet in Chicago. Really? Yeah. I feel like I haven't seen a lot of people get wet. You didn't see me get wet last time? No. Dude, it went crazy.

The clip? No. No. No. What's that? Busting on, you must have missed my algorithm. So yeah, things are going wrong. I'll wear the bull shirt.

You had 200,000 views on your college special. I had the Nike shorts and the bull shirt. You didn't see that wet clip? No. If you posted it and it had like John Pork on the top And then that on the bike I definitely get into that Already let's talk about game time We love getting out to live events whether it's a concert a football game a comedy show and we always use game time the official Ticking partner of bar stool sports, you know how much we love game time. Now with their brand new Game Time Picks feature,

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Li are the New Jersey Transit yesterday to go to the game and someone recognized me and they like yelled out as we were getting their seat. But then the only open seat was right next to them. Oh, and he was sitting with his friends and he was like, he's like, you know who that is? You know who that is? I do works for Barstool. And the guy goes, well, I have a job. I do work for Barstool and the guy goes, well, I have a job. Like it's such a valid response. That fucking sucks. Yeah, I wish I didn't hear that. Yeah, it's the worst.

The worst is when someone comes up to you and they're like with like five of their friends and the worst and they're like, dude, I fucking love. And then their friends are like, we have no idea who you are. Do you really don't even care? Never wait long enough to walk away until the friends like who the fuck was that? Yeah, I always hear it. I always hear it every time Yeah, dude the worst is when when we do shows like me and Luke we're talking about this like when me and Francis and and Luke just

did like Cleveland and The green room is always right where people are leaving and then you start to hear them you started Yeah, it was pretty pretty funny but and then as soon as they go into that i immediately just start talking louder yeah yeah because it'll go either i mean dude they'll say you'll hear they'll be like that this person was funny that person fucking sucked though and then that person like one of us is in the green room and then you have to be sitting next to him oh my god dude yeah it the worst. But it happens every single weekend. Every weekend.

You put yourself through hell every weekend. I haven't been on the road in a while. Why not? I was supposed to be in Phoenix this weekend actually. But then, you know, Sebastian came in. No, I uh. Dude, being a roadie, like being like a groupie for a comic is funny.

Like you travel them on tour. Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, no, I, I, I just couldn't do Phoenix. I didn't have, uh, I didn't have the material. You didn't have Phoenix, Phoenix, don't tell me didn't pop off so much for a while. That was exactly what happened.

I was like, I need all of September because I have Baltimore in October. And I was like, I just got to just do spots all of September and then eventually have build up material for Baltimore. I didn't realize how much losing 10 minutes was going to do. But why don't you just go and do you were just saying how you wish because the ice clay that would do stuff you've already seen. Yeah, but that's like one like I can't be doing the you all joke again. No one's going to be chanting back 80 million dollars. That'd be so funny.

Yeah, because in reality, it's going to be like three people that are there see me and then a bunch of like old people from Phoenix. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Who like got the tickets for free. They haven't seen it. Yeah. But then like the only ones that you really care about the people that are there to see you. They're going to come back again. True. We talked about this last time we were on Boy Dad. Yeah. Yeah. We talked

about the last time we were on Boy Dad. You just go on stage and do the point at your own chest and just get off. I know that's all I'm that's all I am at this point is just the oh you're the dude. Honestly, I don't want to see it, but can you do it for these guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're the dude who pointed at himself. Most people don't even know what that's from. Has anyone said those exact words to you?

No. You're the dude who pointed at that guy. Has anybody ever like, sus? No, but it is always just the draft video. Dude, I've been the fan for the biggest, for the longest time, the draft, that draft video. And I'm like, so that's the only thing you've ever seen that's done. Yeah. Couldn't have been a fan for the bigot for the longest time the draft that draft video and I'm like so that's the only thing You've ever seen

Couldn't have been a fan for that long So a lot of stuff came before that. Yeah, that was pretty much the last thing I did Is the trap your most recent? Three years ago How are you gonna to pay rent? You just got drafted the NFL. Yeah. Did you think of doing a second take after he said that line?

No, do that video took like eight hours to me. Yeah. When we did, we did it. We filmed it twice because it was the hard part was getting the video of me up on the TV, like editing all that and then getting it on the TV to.

Yeah. And then having to press play and then getting it on the TV to... Yeah. And then having to press play and then like start filming immediately after I press play. Right. Yeah. That was the whole thing. And then Dukes fucked it up. Was the part of you pissed? No, I don't think I even really, I was just paying attention to myself.

Okay, yeah. I wasn't really, because I was kind of like Dukes don't really say anything. And then I once once I posted, I was like, why is Dukes talking this entire video? This is a question for all you guys. When you guys make a video, does a party want to look cute? Oh, dude, I've gone and like, I've filmed a video. Changed clothes. And then, yeah, gone, showered, and then re-filmed it.

Oh, well, many times. Like any sort of like a cell like a video. Yes. For work. Just like I didn't look. I want to look cuter. Yes. I honestly I think I've I've. Yeah, there's no way you should double chin. If you were double chin, you'd reshoot. If if I kind of do it, I'm kind of the opposite. I'd rather be ugly. Really?

And then so when you see me go, he's not that bad. I know you're I know you're take 10. I've yes. Any selfie video is 12. Yeah. Your first take. So we talk about zero down the bracket because like I'm just so uncomfortable doing it. Like it will take a lot for me to do it twice. It would help if you're doing like an ad if you're like at a game for free from game time, like looking disgusting would help it. Dude. Last time I did an ad for game time, I had a massive cold

sore on my lip and I retook the video like eight different times to try to like hide it. I was at MetLife Stadium. One of my friends, me and my friends being like, dude, you gotta retake it. Like the lighting would be weird and the cold sore would just be like highlighted on my mouth. Oh my God. Yesterday I did it actually did twice. and the cold sore would just be like highlighted on my mouth. Oh my God. Yesterday I did it actually twice. I said the wrong number for money off, but like I do. I never want to see it.

Yeah, that's why out of order is nice because I can't be like, well, we got to redo that. I don't like how my hair looks in that one. Yeah. Yeah. Out of our control. I prefer it that way. I mean, once you get the big cameras out out You're not retaking from different angles. Yeah But when I would do the sketches at my house, dude Shave change the sweatshirt on a different hat spray color. You used to like fake a raspy voice Yeah, you did do sexy voice in videos. Yes Yeah. No way. Let's have sexy. I didn't.

I never paid to lower octave and you act like you had like four cigarettes. What? Yeah. That's crazy. I don't think I ever did that. Don't listen to them. I mean, they're up online. Come back. If you're listening, roll back. They're all gone. I deleted everything you wiped. You wiped it. My manager made me make my TikTok public. I deleted every video.

Wait, what did you have on your TikTok? I thought I had nothing. You were the earliest adopter of TikTok I met. I think I left that one up. Yeah. Dude, I deleted every video except for like five videos. I didn't realize I had like 300 posts on TikTok. Really?

I didn't know you were doing that. What were you doing? The gayest shit were doing it. What were you doing? The gayest shit of all time. What were you doing? No, it was never that bad. It was so bad. But it was all funny. Were you ever doing things where like

you were playing the same, like two people, like, and you were like one, did you ever pretend to be a chick with a, fur the hair and put a towel on your head? Yeah, absolutely. You never did. No, I think I did. I had a t-shirt on, I had one of them.

That's a trope right there. Yeah, no, You thought you definitely did? No, I didn't think I did. I had a t-shirt on. I had one of them. That's a trope right there. Yeah. No, but it was like, it would just be like dumb shit. I was like in college, and I would post videos about being depressed or some shit. And I watched him back, and I was like, dude, I should kill myself. I really should.

Now I really am. I live on DePaul's campus. Yeah. He does. How did you fit in there? I didn't. That's why I dropped out. I did hear something about you. Yeah.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. With it. I gave everyone chlamydia. Yeah. It was you and Chalamet. You and Chalamet.

We were tag teaming. Did he go to DePaul? No, he was an NYU guy, but like he gave no NYU chlamydia, and then SAS was all the Chalamet playbook. No, you were in improv club, dude. No, it wasn't. That's what I heard. You were just straight up not. I was in a I was in a sketch group for like that sounds similar to an improv club. No, we never even filmed anything.

We wrote we like spent like 30 minutes at a library one time writing sketches. Well, what did you do? Called it a day. What was the sketch idea? I don't remember at all. I just, there is nobody that has one thing in common with you at that school. I bet it's gotten worse too since I was there. Yeah.

But yeah, I had some friends there. I mean, I go out to California and I see one of my buddies who went there. Okay. But. You're implying like what? Like very, very, very left. Yeah. Yeah. Whenever I walk around there, everybody looks like FKA twigs. Yeah. Yeah.

They're all like post gay. They're post gay. They already graduated from gay. Like that's I think I kind of was of was like that though when I was there. Really? Like I would wear, like I would like, you know, like cuff the pants, shit like that. Okay.

Like trying to fit in. Oh yeah, but it wasn't you at your core. No. Like did anything in your mind, like hanging out with like a group of people there where you're like, this is gay in your mind? Yeah. Okay. Like the music was the big thing for me. Yeah.

Then we would like go to someone's dorm and like drink and they play like, they'd be playing like Doja Cat or some shit. And I'd be like, dude, this sucks. It's like, yeah, it's like they exclusively listen to Grimes. Yeah, exactly. And I'll be like, Oh, this isn't really nice. Like what I'm used to at all. But then I was like, well, it's college, just got to adjust. I'm listening to Doja Cat. Best years of your life. Yeah. Yeah, no, that was definitely the wrong move for me to go there.

I'm just very curious of what your life would have been if you stuck there. I would. Because like when you first started at Barstow, you're like, I kind of want to go back to school and just do this right remotely. Yeah, yeah. I would probably be like-

You'd be a TikTok star. At the Louvre, like throwing orange paint at the moment. No, right. You know, protesting. Yeah, yeah. I yeah, I don't know what I would have done. Are you were you like ever politically like malleable? Dude, I was like, like when like when I first got hired at Barstool, I was like tweeting about Black Lives Matter, like being like, guys, we've got to wrap this like, let's fucking end.

Yeah. Yeah. You didn't put Black Square in your Instagram, did you? No. No, no way. I probably did. That was right after you got hired or right before right before you got hired. I don't think I did on Instagram. I don't think I did the Black Square on Instagram. I remember watching like the domino's fall from like,

like friends who had a black square where like, I was like, all right, we're kind of like, if they're doing it, should I? And then another person would do it. I'm like, fuck, should I fucking do this? And I never, that'll be a fun archiving it, getting caught archiving. I mean, dude, I, uh, recently I went back and deleted a bunch of tweets about Black Lives Matter. Did you ever tweet like fuck Trump? Yeah, I've never been political online. I mean, but I was like 18. Right. And it's like I just graduated high school.

And dude, it's like you go to college and then you're in college for like a week. And you're like, I know everything. Yeah, I'm the smartest man. I I know everything. It's like I'm. Yeah, I'm the smartest man in the world. I figured it out. I figured out the world. Like yeah, every time. That happened to me.

I'm sure it happened to you guys. It did happen to me. I hate races. It's happened to me many times since. Oh, I became like an insufferable douche bag. But where'd you go to college? Everywhere. Yeah.

I forgot I went to college for like 10 years. I did not spend much time in a particular college. Dude, I was hand rolling cigarettes. I was smoking a pipe. Yeah. Yeah. Such a douche. I was smoking a pipe at West Virginia.

Yeah. That probably kind of fits in, though. No, dude. But like, no, I mean outside of campus. No, maybe 200 years ago. I get to see people in the Appalachian Mountains just sitting there. Dude, no, I was like, I remember once,

it was like the coolest I ever felt. You were smoking a pipe? We had had the my dorm had a fire drill and I made sure to grab like my bag of tobacco in my pipe so I could be like outside and while everybody was out there like shivering with their blankets. I was just like, I should have grabbed a book. Fuck. Just like I wanted to like be that guy. You know how dudes will like read on their stoop? Yeah, like that was that would have been me. Yeah. I was to concuss. I remember I put dark liquor till we busted in my Twitter bio. So there. The Wallet lyric.

The Wallet lyric in the Twitter. But I click it till we buzz. Were you an online guy before like Barstool? He was like, like, like for like not that long. No, for like a couple months. Yeah. Yeah. It was a pretty quick turnaround for you. Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.

Which is that's the way to do it, because if you're in there for too long, you go, do you become just a fucking the worst person imaginable? No, I was like I didn't have a Twitter or an Instagram and then I made one and I was like I'm gonna try to do jokes And like like graphics like he's in a unique way like it was exclusively actual jokes Yeah, I'm project. No, but like I look back and they were cringy as fuck But like my apartment dude, like when I was living in Columbus, I had like a dry erase board and I was like fucking, I had magnets entwined like trying to connect.

I was trying to do one tweet a week. Yeah. It was like I treated it like a fucking middle school science fair. I was like, your tweets were like projects. Yeah. And I just, I, that was so fucking dumb. Once you get into the group chats on Twitter is when it all that's what it's bad And then I got added to one I was like this rules

Yeah, dude when like a big like tweeter like put me on for like people he thinks like oh, yeah I like their funny Friday funny Friday And I made one and I was like this is crap. I remember exactly where I was Yeah, when not Viking yeah, and his funny Friday. Yeah, and right. Yeah, and I was like, this is crazy. I remember exactly where I was when not Viking put me in his funny Friday. And yeah, and I was driving, I was like going to get gas and I was like, holy shit. And I was like, oh my God, this was my don't tell. I was like, everything's changing.

I might quit my job. I think I applied to be verified. I'm not even joking. I did. I remember like the first time I got put on Buzzfeed, I like called my parents. I was like, it's all, it's everything. It's all happening. It's all coming into play. Did you see me on the feed? Yeah Everything is just falling into place right now

It's like some fucking meme that I made on like snapchat Yeah, I use like the Photoshop tool on snapchat I had a snapchat video that made it to the chive and I was like I like big I was like I was going to email Him and like just be like you can I get like, I was going to email him and like, just be like, yo, can I get like a Bill Murray t-shirt or something? Like I'll rep the brand. Chiver. No, uh, keep driving home. Keep calm and chive on. Yeah. Dude, imagine thinking of a gay ass saying like that for a flag.

Well, that was the deal when I when I got that was your moment. You know, your don't tell Saturdays are for the boys that like never. Like, I thought it was cool, but I didn't think I literally thought nothing of it. I think I'm so envious of you. What was the most amount of flags you had in your house at once? None. No, my dad has one in the gym now at his house, at my parents' house. I never had a flag.

Gym in the house. Saturdays are for the boys. Had to put the flag up. This is what got us here. That's what built this home. I don't think I've ever had, like, it's all been slowly like, OK, that's good, that's good. But I've never had like, uh, all right. Things are changing. You've just never had expectations, right? Which is sad, but also healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's awesome. Even killed us, dude. Yeah. Don't laugh. Don't fucking laugh. Don't you care. Because when I started stand up, I was like, I was like, I'm going to sell out MSG. Right. That was like the goal. And now I'm at the point where it's like, if I could like add a late show, the Irvine and the wealth, that would be huge.

I could do a Thursday and sell well on that. That would be like dreams come true. How often do you think about putting out like your first stand up video? Dude, that's that one was like. Like that. I deleted that video a while ago but who that was rough yeah I completely opposite but similar I used to follow this like exclusive graphic designer sharing their logos yeah site and I was in high school when I got it yeah it was all like people that did it for a career

and I submitted a logo on there yeah it got fucking destroyed people were calling wearing their logos website. And I was in high school when I got it. It was all like people that did it for a career. And I submitted a logo on there. And it got fucking destroyed. Like people were calling me slurs. I was grabbing my website. They were like, do we fucking make this a photo shop? How do you roast the logo? It was so shit.

It was pure shit. It was all pixels. Was it actually though? Yeah. But it took me like 15 minutes to make. And they were just like, you could tell this guy's in high school. I'm like, how?

That's the worst. It's when someone makes an assumption about you and they're dead on. Dead on. Dead on. Yeah. I bet he's fucking 17. You can't have him mad.

Yup. Yeah, I am. Shit. Did you, you deleted that video? Dude, I scrubbed that thing from the internet. Yeah. Cause, yeah, I mean, back then, Did you you deleted that video? Do I scrubbed that thing from the internet? Yeah, cuz um Yeah, I mean back then I was just all about just like getting views and I didn't think there was anything wrong with like I like when I did stand up then I was like, yeah, this is the best I'll ever be

Like I was like get me blacked out on stage. What's what number show was that? I Had done a bunch of open mics. Okay, that was the first real show I did and they were like're filming, like we film all the shows. And I was like, sweet, I guess I'll just post it on YouTube. I'll be doing theaters next week. I think the worst thing is I think that video did better than my don't. Dude, what if you look back now and it's like incredible?

No, it was terrible. But I had, I was bigger then. No. Oh, dude. No. I was on top of the world then. You were bigger then? I was probably 19 or 20. You were the one to kid on his way up? Dude, yeah, cause I was on the yak. And that was like when you're new on the yak. And when you're new on the yak, you're the funniest person on the planet. According to the facts. For like two weeks and then yeah, then you become Hitler Yes, yeah, like it was like I was new on the act and they were like, yeah this dude's the future and I was like Yeah, I am like they're why are they all they're so nice and honest

Yeah, you guys are fucking assholes I Try to tell I'd like I tell that to everybody that does the act like when they bring people like mooc. I was like I told him I was like, dude, they're turned and they turn hard. It's it's quick. Yeah. It's brutal. You miss it. No, I miss like hanging out and do a show. But overall, that show was like pretty.

Bad for your mental health? Yeah. Dude, I'm at a point now, I calculated, I've done like over a thousand. So it's just like... Well, yeah, you guys are also beloved. Like, people love you guys on the show. I'm in a good situation now where I come back and I do one episode. I could be asleep on the episode.

Oh, no, you are. Yeah. It'll be like sass, I mean, dude, big cat, please get him to blackjack. Blackjack. Yeah. Do you like you're you're saying your big comments guy, is that like what you read the comments for this episode and would you read them for every episode you did or is it? I'm better now. Like this, I don't really care because it's like whatever we did, what we did.

But I get them on my phone because I have the YouTube.'s my YouTube so you just get push notifications so I'll get a push notification I talked about this recently I'll get a push note I'll be like out doing something and also I'll just get an all like open up my phone will buzz and I'll open it up and I was like sass is fucking retarded Jesus Christ and then I just gotta like put look at it and just put my phone back in my pocket dude I telling stories about being like blackout at 6 a.m. On a Wednesday to start the show and that's the most unhealthy thing you said Yeah That doesn't podcast stuff doesn't bother me anymore though

So it when I feel like we put out like a really good one like I thought like I was really proud We found I both put like a ton of writing into this yeah, and it's the first I like woke up when it got put out There was one comment on the video. It's been up for like seven minutes, and it was just like the boys stopped trying That's just a block though Yeah, you block. Oh, dude. I block on YouTube you block on you. I don't even know what that means I've restrict like I don't do it a lot. I don't have the login for anything. I've probably done it like 10 times. Okay. Over the course of three years. They had to been extra vicious.

It's usually like sometimes there'll be like one dude who comments like 50 times on one post. And it's just like this sucks. You guys suck. And I'm like, dude, just blocking you because you're annoying. Not because you hurt my feelings. Yeah, nothing hurts. Like that shit doesn't hurt my feelings at all. No? The podcast stuff doesn't bother me at all.

The what? The one thing that bothers me is when people post and they're like, you can clearly tell Sass and Ronan Francis fucking hate each other. Yeah. And I'm like, no, we don't. We're actually all friends. I hate when they accuse me of being high when I when I am. That's it that would that would destroy me. They're wrong.

They try to guess the exact combinations of substances I'm on. Yeah. That would never get it. No you're off. Keep trying. The stand up comments destroy me. Yeah. Where are you going? Like on the don't tell one or. Yeah. And then that seems to be like overwhelmingly positive on YouTube.

It was on like TikTok and Instagram. It was just a battle. OK, so I like why? Because people don't they don't they, they mean, dude, people that leave comments are not real people. No, no, no. I've never left a comment on anything. Yeah. Like why do you let it destroy it? Um, I think it's because you put so much pride into it. Yeah. Because I put a lot of effort into it. And also because like, I know the jokes and I'm like, dude, these jokes done them so many times. They're good. I know they're good jokes.

They kill in person. Right. And then you clip one of them out and you're like, dude, this joke's gotten like applause breaks. And then someone comes in like this fucking socks and has like 70 likes. And I'm like, but I'm like, I know it doesn't. I guess it's more confusing than infuriating. I want to I just want to be like, I don't know. I've always been that way.

Like I've I've do. I used to read all the comments. Yeah. You reply. I used to reply and be like, I don't know. I've always been that way. Like I've, I've, dude, I used to reply to all the comments. Yeah. You would reply. I used to reply and be like, fuck you, dude. Yeah. I've never replied to a comment. I was right when I got on the act.

I used to reply and then Gaz told me I had to stop. Really? He told me I had to go back and delete a comment. What was your comment? The N word? Oh, I didn't say the N word. Hey, you're going to take that down, kid. It was just something I just replied to someone being like,

fuck you. Oh, and Gaz getting mad at that's pot calling the kettle gas Now I think it was when like Instagram used to you'd get like in trouble for like someone you could get like flat Was it just like a fuck you it was just me being like dude go fuck yourself or something. Yeah. Yeah Dude, do you remember the barstool Instagram? I don't even look at the comments. When you first started at barstool, do you remember when you wrote a blog and somebody we knew commented on the blog? Yeah. I was like someone from barstool. Yeah. What? They were like, what the fuck is this? Like Carl. What they were like what the fuck is this like Carl? What do you do I like

blog is in the Comment was from barstool Carl. He was like this fucking sucks. No way. I was like damn But I think I was always like I think for a while I was like that wasn't actually Carl and then and more time went by and I was like that was absolutely That's kind of funny. It's really hilarious. Yeah. The blogs that I wrote were dog shit. I gotta go. I don't even know what you wrote about.

I'm going to have to talk to someone. Who's the editor hubs and Nate. I'm up telling them to wipe the slate. That shit needs to be off the internet. Dude, I'll like get notifications that like they published a blog under my name. Yeah. It's just like a video, but it's written like I wrote it.

Yeah. I don't know who does those. Being my ghostwriter has to be the saddest thing in the world. Probably not. It's probably, they're probably pumped. Jesus Christ. Cause they know they're gonna get like, all the comments are going to be like, finally, some real fucking blog. Do you still blog at all? No, no, I don't know how to log in.

I don't know how do you log in to literally like what if you get an email with a link and it's like you got to sign up for this thing? If it takes what you do, I gotta sign up for this thing. If it thinks me. What'd you do at math? I'm not used to wearing outfits. It's nice out. It's like the jeans are. You do look cool. Yeah dude, I haven't seen you in denim. Yeah, this sucks.

I'm trying to look more Cuban. Sorry. Oh, Kyle came out as Cuban. Really? Are you Cuban? Yeah. Nobody's lying. But you could pass.

You could pass for it. Like I'm allowed to lie, I can tell people I'm cute. I'm not lying. Yeah. It's not illegal. It's something that no one will question. No. Unless they know me personally.

Yeah. No, you could easily. I know you really well. And you believe. Yeah. I mean, you easily could pass for cute, though. You're really leaning into it with the shirt. Yeah.

I was wearing this for Rhone because I asked him for a late summer shirt recommendation and he sent me this website. It's a Mexican website and all the shirts were, well don't get my pockets twisted, but they were all like $350. So I know. Dude, I had the inverse happen to me recently where your boy Rudy texted me and he was like, yo, I'm looking for a vibe change or whatever. Where do you talk? I knew he texted you survive. I knew he did survive. And then I gave him a very detailed list, like three separate paragraphs of text reply. And he just didn't say anything.

Oh, I was like, dude, I fucking put effort. Yeah. Oh, that's dig. Yeah. You got to reply to that. But, um, yeah, Francis and Rome kind of operate on a different level with the clothes and shit. It's unbelievable lifestyles. Oh, yeah, I wasn't on. I wasn't on an episode recently. Yeah, I wasn't on an episode recently. Your one thing that Dave said you had to go home for a funeral and no excuses.

And no excuses. And Francis and Rowan talked about like musicals and wine for an hour. And people were so mad. Like they literally talked about like in depth, like deep cut Broadway plays and like, and like their favorite types of wine. Yeah. I cook it. I can't shut it down. Yeah, I can't name one musical fights. Oh, Mary. I'm not popping in and out of that.

Yeah, we've. Yeah, I go. I probably go to a Broadway play like twice a month. Once or twice. I want to go see Book of Mormon. I do, too. Yeah. But I like saw no way the best play could be better than an OK movie. That's what I've heard. That's exactly what my review was.

I was like, this is good. This is pretty funny, but I would much rather watch a decent movie. Yeah, really. I think it's very cool. It's funny. It was cool. I recommend the I think it's cool. Like what I went to Steve Carell in one like a month ago. And I go to like good ones. I'm like, this is crazy to be watching Steve Carell fucking.

Yeah, that's pretty. Yeah. Yeah, because there's a like like Jessica Chastain was just in one yeah, and like Danny DeVito is in one right now Is it I saw that too? Yeah, that's pretty sick. I think I think it's over now is recording, but I did see that one It's a there I think the New York Times did an article like this past week about how much Hollywood is coming here Clooney's doing one this yeah, and Zell and Jill and Hall doing one. Robert Downey Jr. They're trying to revitalize because Broadway is dying. Yeah. Maybe because just plays aren't good. Plays should have stopped being a thing. When a new

invention comes out and makes something obsolete, then that like plays should have gone extinct when TV became a thing. Painting. Yeah. When the camera is out, painting should be done. Painting is done. But play is, I will say, I've never been to a play that I didn't enjoy. Yeah, there are. Everyone that I've been to, I've been like, that was pretty sick.

I went to Mamma Mia in Chicago. Yeah. And I was just like, I was just, it was okay. Yeah. Because like, the set doesn't change. Sound of music. I love the video, love Sound of music.

The movie. Have you seen the play? No. It was pretty sick. I haven't seen the play. They dropped the fucking swastika flags down, and you're like, whoa. Like, boom's pretty sick. I was in the play. They drop the fucking swastika flags down and you're like, Whoa, yeah. Well, I remember being there. I went with my family and I remember

being there being like, dude, if someone came in here, like it opened the wrong door, they'd be like, what the fuck was that? There's massive swastikas hanging from the ceiling. And everyone's cheering. I saw like the high school or high school did a Phantom of the Opera. So sick. Really? They were great. I just I don't think I can. I don't know if I'm like smart enough to get plays.

I just don't get like it's a nice wine. No, knowing you, you're smart enough. I don't know. You can get it. I don't know if it's an intelligence thing. Yeah, it's just a taste. It's a taste thing. I don't know, but I don't get the art. I don't know. I don't know man. I don't know if it's an intelligence thing. It's just a taste. It's a taste thing I don't know, but I don't get the art. I don't know. I don't know for me I'll go see one one day for you guys. Hell yeah, wicked

Wicked's great. Wicked was sick See like look what you're doing right now, but I haven't I saw all these with my mom when I was like 10 You wouldn't go like with fights tonight? No Absolutely not. It's not Otani's in town. Yeah. I'm with Otani's here. Alright. Well, should we wrap it up? Yeah, if you want. Yeah. Or do you guys want to keep going? Doesn't matter to me. We're gonna shoot a sketch. We're gonna shoot a sketch. Alright. Well, that was the episode. Thank you guys for doing it.

Yeah, of course man man. Yeah. Thanks for guys. Thanks for filling in. We'll see you guys on Thursday. Goodbye. Thanks for watching!