Son of a Boy Dad - Plane Janes | Son of a Boy Dad #283

Episode Date: March 13, 2025

Plane Janes | Son of a Boy Dad #283 -- #Ad: Get started at https://FACTORMEALS.com/FACTORPODCAST and use code FACTORPODCAST to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Oh, and don't you even think about including this in the fucking episode. I'm onto your tricks. wise to your ways. Sass set us off, bro. Is it cool if we get into it yeah? Sticks of water yes, you couldn't do that while the show was running cut this Perfect I Was really looking forward to Commuting to work with you this morning.

Yeah. I wanted to either walk or city bike with you. I was excited to do that. Well, maybe another time. I doubt it. We'll see. Not on my account. On his account.

You'll never want me to come to work with you. We'll see. All right. Welcome back to the Son of a boy dad podcast. Today it's March 12th. We're here live from HQ Trace. I am in a nasty mood right now. You know what?

Me too. Yeah. Why? What's wrong? I'm furious. I'm not happy either. Why? I'm really not happy. Why? I'm really not happy.

What? I'm just mad because I have a 6 a.m. flight tomorrow and I don't even know. You're mad? About that? Yeah. Yeah. I have to wake up at four in the morning.

Yeah, maybe before that. Before then? For 6 a.m.? You're flying out of LaGuardia? Yeah, so I might as well just not go to bed. You could be one of those people that sleeps in the baggage area. I don't think I need to do that.

They seem to sleep well. I don't think I need to do that because I have a place to stay in my apartment. Those people seem housed. They have their iPhone charger plugged into an outlet and they sleep with one arm on the cord. Yeah. But they always have so many bags.

They do. There's always like a plastic bag situation with them. There's such a paradox that they are bagged in the baggage claim area. Right, they claim the bags. And by the way, I don't think that there's really a time of day or night where they're not sleeping down there. I don't know. And architecturally, it's built for them not to be able to sleep. Like they conspicuously put zero benches or like safe padded areas for them to sleep.

Correct. And I wondered for a minute why they don't sleep in the departure's floor and it occurred to me it's because the baggage area is carpeted, albeit with a very sheer carpet. Interesting. Also, sometimes if you get there at a certain hour, the departure's area is not even open unless you're already in it. Is that true? Yeah. Like security closes. Oh, okay. Depending on the airport. Yeah, but they're not going through security. They're just Oh, what? Depending on the airport. Yeah, but they're not going through security. They're just waiting.

I've never figured out why that's before. It's a good dough situation. I have no idea. I did it once in Austin. You slept at the airport. Yeah, you went there super early and slept at the airport. Yeah.

Yeah. Because you were out super late. Because my hotel was up. He loves this story. You're gonna love this story too. Tell the story again. Oh, it's really, actually I don't love this story.. He loves the story. You're going to love the story too. Tell the story again. Oh, it's really, actually, I don't love the story. There's really no story.

I already told it. I slept in the airport. I got to the airport. My flight was at 5 AM. I got there at like 2. Was this for Moon Tower? Yeah. They didn't give you a hotel room all the way

through to your flight? I don't know. No, they must have. But my flight was at 5. And I was out until 2. Yeah. And I was like, I'm just going to go to the airport now. That flight home from Moon Tower, it's always that.

It's always, I remember I had one, I think I had one at 6 AM. Because the flights are expensive as fuck, because there's so many people in the city and the airport's tiny. Right. I remember that was the first time I'd ever had to spend more than like $300 on a flight. It's expensive as fuck because there's so many people in the city and the airport's tiny. Right. I remember that was the first time I ever had to spend

more than like $300 on a flight and I was like furious. Yeah. You getting like so mad over stuff that's like of your own design is funny. Dude, there's literally no other option for me. You could have left today. No, I couldn't. How would I have done that?

I have stuff to do all day. You could have left tonight. Yeah, tonight. I have stuff until like 930 tonight. Spots? Yeah. You could have, well, you could cancel. No, he doesn't, he never cancels his spots. Why would you not cancel your spots tonight? That's actually a legitimate reason. And fly to Vancouver? Yeah. Yeah. And eat up the time. You're going to Vancouver?

Yeah. That's up the time. You're going to Vancouver? That's so much farther. Then where? Toronto, I thought you were going to Toronto. No, I can walk to Toronto. So when we had that discussion about, you said there were very few flights. I think you did say Toronto by accident,

which is what threw me off. No, I don't think I did. Well, maybe I'm wrong. That's what threw me off. I think you're right, I think you did say Toronto by accident, which is what threw me off. No, I don't think I did. Well, maybe I'm wrong. I think you're right. I think you did. Because I was thinking that you said Toronto too, but I knew you were going to Vancouver. No, I said it on the podcast. Did you say it on the podcast? I said I'm going to be in Vancouver this weekend. And you guys went, wow, Vancouver. Yeah, but you said there were limited flights to Toronto. No, I did not. Yes, you did, dude.

I remember you saying it that way. And I'm not doing the typical argue thing. I really was confused by that. Cause you were like, look it up. And I was like, I remember going to Toronto, missing the early flight, cause I didn't have my passport.

Rones sorted me out. Oh yeah. And I ended up taking the one later that day. There's like 900 flights to Toronto every day. There you go. Yeah. I'm going to Vancouver and there's... You can see why we would have been confused when you misspoke in such a manner.

I don't think I did, but I'll go with it because I don't really care. But... Can I say why I'm mad? Well, I'm not done. But then you can go. Your reason is not as good as mine. I think my reason is the best.

You have an early flight that you had to book. It's a combination of an early flight I'm gonna get to Vancouver before I can even check into a hotel That's why you need the American and the ticket sales are dog shit So like it's like what am I doing? Well, I think a part of the reason why you're mad is that you're not in control of your own body. I'm not, no. You don't go to sleep when you should go to sleep. No, no.

Because you just have no ability to go to sleep before 3 AM. You just can't shut this off. If you had gone to sleep at 10, it probably would have been fine. You would have got a normal amount of sleep. For this flight? Yeah, if you could go to after your 9.30 obligation, your obligations are till 9.30.

If you just went home and went to sleep, went to bed, even if you're asleep by 10.45, that you probably would have been fine. That's a great point. But you just aren't in control of yourself. A 6 a.m. flight is so much more daunting to you because it's so close to your bedtime. Yes.

But I don't understand how I would be able to go to bed. Like, I can't just do shit all day and then 10 o'clock lights out. It's not 10 o'clock. It's, you have a spot, you said till nine? My spot's, it's on the 9 p.m. show. I don't even know what time it's at. All right. Well, whatever.

You know what would help you? The Great British Bake Off. The Great British Baking Show. No, it won't. That would, that puts anybody to sleep. It's so calming. Not me. You have you in the fucking chokehold, the sleeper hold immediately.

It's so nice. Are you packing your bong with indica or sativa? Because you know that one's an upturned one's more of a Black tar heroine. I think you need to switch to indica. I'm an indica guy. Indica for the nighttime, bro. Sativa's a morning strain.

It's always like blue dream or something about dreaming with blue in it. There's always blue. Anything that has the word blue in it, that's going to put you right to sleep. Or purples or hazes or something like that. While you are smoking on iGrade, it's like you're smoking, it's like more of a creative, like a Jack Harare type of strain.

You have stuff that has Jacks in the name. You need stuff that has colors and not green. Yeah, muted. Got it. Imagine a strain that sounds like a white noise setting. White noise setting is probably a strain. That would be a good one. It's a cross between white widow and setting.

Yeah. I think I'm going Benadryl tonight. In the bong? Whatever you need to do to not pick up your fucking PlayStation controller and start zeroing in on bad guys at midnight. He should pack it tonight. He should pack it away. He should pack it right now.

I just don't know what, I don't know. I don't know if I'm having an existential crisis or what, but I don't understand why I'm doing this You know miss the first show then I can't and blame it on I already asked they were like what a question though Think of let's reframe that for a second, but it's like I'm so I don't understand why 15 hours in a different country and then it's gonna be like one of those clubs where it's like an arena How did I have this room? And then it's gonna be like one of those clubs where it's like an arena. It's the biggest room you've ever seen in your entire life. And there's four people there.

All right, I'm gonna say it a different way. How did I have so much success at such an early phase in my life that my premiered agent who has decided to represent me booked me to sell tickets in a foreign country for an entire weekend. As an headlining act. From a Thursday through Sunday.

I'm not selling, but I apologize to my premier agent. He's not gonna be happy. I just don't hear it as a woeful tale of victimhood. I'll show you the ticket sales after. as a woeful tale of victimhood. Are you ready to show us a success story? I'll show you the ticket sales after. It is a testament to your success. I don't get booked in Vancouver. Because you would have turned it down.

You would have been like, I'm not fucking doing that. Yeah, because a weekend like that puts me on suicide watch. Yeah, that's what's gonna happen to me too. No, you're fine, dude. No, what makes you think I'm white? How come for me it's I'm living the dream, but if you were in the situation, I would have been on suicide watch.

For what it's worth, and I know you hate when I say this, when I was your age, actually it was three years older, I did five years of those gigs. I've been doing these gigs. You've also been doing awesome gigs. I had no good gigs. One out of every 30. That's not true. That's not true

But you should take a selfie from the state these weekends fucking kill me, dude They kill me then you need then in truth You should be a little more discerning and you need to at this point You should know what to put your foot down on and say I'm not well you would think like Vancouver big city It might be good. who knows? Silver lining, really quick. And then you find out I'm not actually in Vancouver, I'm 50 miles outside of Vancouver. Even better.

To your taste, British Columbia is heaven. It's the most beautiful country, sorry, territory, fucking whatever it's called, in the world, as far as I can tell. And they probably have, they've legalized it. Dude, you've told me a hundred times about the weed. Well, that's why you're going. It's good weed, it's good weed.

I'm not worried about the weed. Good fish, yeah, because you already know it's. Well, let's just put it this way. The weed is not like tipping the scale for me at all. As a nice change of pace, you're not gonna have to unscrew the back of your PlayStation console where you keep your weed to bring into the country.

I'm really not worried about weed. Because you can just buy really good stuff there. He takes apart his fishing rod and stuff. I was gonna bring my fishing rod, but I'm not anymore because it's like. The weed's already there. No, because I don't wanna have to fucking check a bag at four in the morning

You can't just carry on your fishing rod now a little why not because you need more than just a fishing rod You need all your shit Waiters. Oh, yeah boots. Yeah, I need everything if you're one of the best people going to the show. Maybe you could bless Maybe the same size waiters that's not a bad idea at all I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. Someone DM'd me about it and was like, you got to tell SAS to come fly fishing in British Columbia. I'm going to his shows this weekend. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing.

I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they've got decent fly fishing. I'm sure they've got decent fly fishing. They definitely do. Someone DM'd me about it and was like, you've got to tell SAS to come fly fishing in British Columbia. I'm going to his shows this weekend.

That was the one. I'm not even kidding you. Someone said that to me. They send it to me because they know you don't look at your DMs. I look at my DMs. I just don't reply to people. People ask me to pass on their information to you. And I say, who the fuck do you think I am?

What would someone have to say to you in the DMs for you to actually reply? Sometimes if people hit me up and they're like, Son of a boy, that saved my life. No. You're not replying to the sweetest. I'm not replying to that, no. Usually if it's like someone is like,

if they have a question about one of the shows or something, I'll reply. Can you get in and I can just answer them now. Everyone always asks what's better, the early show or the late show? They're the exact same show. Doesn't matter. There has to be an answer.

What's the actual answer, Francis? You really don't know. I say, I usually say, I don't know. I I usually say I Don't know I Usually say that the late show tends to be a little more raucous Yeah, and it tends to be a little boozier So if you're and if people are keen to and Aaron Berg does crowd work at the late show Like I have more fun on the early shows because people aren't shit-faced, but the late shows probably better, I guess, for the crowd. If people are very keen to say hi,

I tell them to come to the late show because I will come out after. Oh, I see, that makes sense. And Sass works a little bit more blue in the late show. I don't even know what that means. Yeah, you do. It's the type of humor that makes you go to sleep more quickly.

Mine? If you smoke it, yeah. Blue humor. Oh, OK. Interesting. You ever heard blue? No, never. Blue comedy? No.

It's like vulgar comedy. Swearing. Non-clean comedy is blue comedy. Nasty. How have you not known? How did you not know what nasty comedy is? Well, I'm a clean comic. That's so far from the truth. You don't know because you've only ever worked blue how close are you clean?

I could go clean so easily. I think you could yeah You're not far. Yeah, you know that that would be to your advantage if you could pull it off Oh, yeah, not that you necessarily want to well The problem is it's like I either have like super dirty jokes or like fine. Kind of the same way. So it's like I would have to completely cut a couple jokes. But it could be worth it because then you'd open up markets that-

You'd sell out Vancouver. I actually would say no, my current hour is not clean at all. From a swearing perspective or just the content? Like content. Right, there's a lot of jokes about weed. No, not... I don't want to give anything away, I'm sorry.

That's not really what I... That wasn't even what I was thinking of. I got a whole chunk that's nasty. About sex? 20 minutes. About sex? No. Do you do any sex jokes?

No, not really. Dick jokes?. About sex? No. Do you do any sex jokes? No, not really. Dick jokes? No. Really? No. Drugs? Drugs. Yes, but he never talks, you never talk sex. Me neither. Where I'm not blue like that. I'm not, I'm not going to ever be on stage like making like being like, yeah, like it's just not my you know when you're

fucking a bitch yeah you know when you're really laying it down she's screaming you're you're sweating like what am I gonna say and then your mama calls and then mama's on the phone out of nowhere you say mama I'll try to get some. I think that would play on stage. Maybe not in Vancouver, but from, you know, the late show New Brunswick. I feel like a lot of dudes don't really talk about sex on stage though.

I feel like a lot of dudes do talk about sex on stage. Really? Especially when they're crowd working. You talking about jerking off? I think like most of the comedians that I watch and like listen to, it's not, they don't usually talk about like fucking. You don't watch Bernie Mac then? Well, Bernie Mac's a different, it's different.

How's that? Different style that I'm used to watching. You don't watch that type of comedy? I do love Bernie Mac. Do you talk about jer joking off at all? Never, no. Not once, you never said that? No, I've done jokes. Like obviously like a while ago,

I had like sex jokes and jerking off jokes, but I always thought they sucked. Like I always thought it was just like, They're just dry. It's kind of like the easiest thing to joke about. Oh, hanging fruit. Yeah. Which is why I joke about. Oh, hanging fruit. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is why I joke about weed instead. Much higher IQ material. So then that's really intelligent. It's like a Rick and Morty episode. Yeah. My jokes are the kind of jokes that you kind of got to sit down, maybe take notes, you know, try and keep up. Well, it doesn't hit you the first time, but that's better.

We actually encourage, encourage filming at my show so you can go home and dissect it a little bit. Parsing, like you're breaking down a sentence. Kind of get to know the set a little bit more. Anyways, I'm going to be in Vancouver this weekend. So I was being nasty. I am excited for this weekend. It'll be good. I really do think British Columbia, because Vancouver itself is a beautiful city. Yeah.

But it's so easy to get to nature around it. I mean, Whistler is only an hour and a half. And I've made that drive from Vancouver to Whistler a bunch of times. And that drive up there, it's crazy. Maybe I'll do that. And I know I and I gonna be smoking on the Jackrabbit. Yeah. It's actually not a bad idea. Maybe I'll go skiing you could you can do a day trip to Whistler

It's how to change things for me and it's an amazing mountain. It's fun. That'd be awesome I it's one of the only places that I haven't been in North America that I'm dying to go I'm so jealous. No, no, just Vancouver in general BC Yeah, I want to go badly. I heard it's so beautiful. It's great. And you know what else I'll say? I'll say this. The women that live in Vancouver.

Wearing shirts like this probably, some tattoos, multicultural, beautiful. I was gonna say some of the most beautiful women of any city I've ever seen in the world. Really? Don't sleep on Canada. Understood. Let Canada sleep on you. Canadian women are hot. Got it. Got it. Primal. Primal babes. What about the ones that 50 miles outside of Vancouver? Even better. The farther away you get, the more you're

likely to find a wife. That's the thing is like, you're like, I'm going to be at Vancouver. People are like, Oh dude, you got to check out this spot. That's the thing is, like, you're like, I'm gonna be in Vancouver, and people are like, oh, dude, you gotta check out this spot. And then it's like, if I was in my hotel and I typed in that spot to Maps, it would say an hour and 40 minutes. No, there's Primo Indians, Inuit Snatch. Primo Indians, bro.

Inuit. The fuck? Inuit Snatch. I mean, I guess they are Indians. What's the name of the town that you're performing in? Are you performing at a Yuck Yucks? No, I'm performing at House of Comedy. And where is it?

Westminster. Westminster, British Columbia? Westminster, British Columbia. Where the dog show is. Owen, would you do me a quick favor and actually Google to see how far away Westminster House of Comedy is from downtown Vancouver.

I can do it right now. But you're a untrustworthy narrator in this situation. You are an unreliable narrator through and through. It's a fact. So this is where I'm already got it. He's changing the information right now. The air is dead. Feels like SAS is apartment in here.

Fuck yeah. Got to fumigate it. The air is dead feels like SAS is apartment in here. Okay Got a fumigated If he takes any longer, I'm just gonna ask you why you're pissed off. Are you on 2g? What the fuck is going on? Why is your it's Google Maps what I? Books alright, it's not as far as I said, it's 45 50 minutes. That's what you said. It's quite literally what you said. I Said now we're 45 As I said, it's 45, 50 minutes. That's what you said. It's quite literally what you said. I said an hour 45. It's five zero minutes away. It's 50 menus.

To downtown. To Vancouver. Downtown Vancouver? Yeah. That's pretty substantial, I'm not gonna lie. It's probably fucking beautiful though. What hotel are you staying at? Con- condo. Nice. That'll beautiful though. What hotel are you staying at? Con- uh, condo.

Nice. That'll be good. Colin was there last weekend. Hopefully I'll be able to still feel his warmth on the sheets. I think that in truth, the fact that you're farther out means that you're probably closer to a great spot to fish. I'm still in this, in a city. Okay.

Let's not talk about it anymore. It's got, it looks like a fucking palace. High ass in a city. Okay. Let's not talk about it anymore. It looks like a fucking palace. High as ceilings. Yep. Incredible balcony. Yeah, show Francis. This picture's all ceiling.

Wow. They couldn't have framed this to make it look any bigger. Any more cavernous. I was looking at those photos for about three hours last night. It looks like Bruce Wayne like drops down into there to get suited and booted. Now do you understand a little bit more?

Look man, I don't really understand your approach to selling tickets. You're basically like, this is gonna suck. No, it'll be good. The ticket sales are tiny. Look at the carpet in that place. I'm not looking forward to going. I'm gonna be exhausted and grumpy.

I won't be. I always put on a show. I just think that do what you can to get people excited to come. No, I am excited. And the shows will be good. And the ticket sales aren't as bad as I made it out to be. But genuinely, if I didn't have the 6 AM flat, you would never hear me complain about this weekend

once. It is far. Are you taking a red eye home? I haven't even booked a flight home yet. I can't believe you're not playing within Vancouver because I just looked at the comedy clubs in the city. There's the improv center, the chill pill comedy, New Moon comedy, James James and Jamesy comedy on the corner, Laugh Track Comedy Club, Comedy Pants, Little Mountain Gallery... Yeah, none of these are headlining clubs.

Is there a Yuck Yucks? I bet there's a Yuck Yucks. I thought Yuck Yucks only booked Canadians. They may well do. Oh, you're up in Squamish. I have performed in British Columbia, if you can believe it. Have you done this club? No. Years ago, before I worked at in British Columbia, if you can believe it. Have you done this club? No. Years ago, before I worked at Barstool, I went skiing with some buddies at Whistler

and reached out through Facebook to this guy who was booking a comedy show, a weekly comedy show there in some bar, asked if I could do it, did it. They sold like 200 tickets. It was nuts. It was awesome. Was it UBC improv? That's a good one. No. So yeah, that was really fun. And then I did it another

two years later, something like that. You've got to get up to Squamish. Fun memories. Well, I'm going to be in Vancouver this weekend, please get tickets if you live within the 100 mile radius of Vancouver. Which is Seattle that includes Seattle. That includes well actually good news for you if you I'll also be in Seattle next week. So you won't and I'll be coming back to New York. You got some tough travel ahead. Yeah but the Seattle shows are

like sold out already. That's the same it's the same city Yeah. Yeah. Where are you playing in Seattle? Or touching? I don't know. Some smaller room. Are you doing laughs? Two shows at maybe the Crocodile. Maybe that place. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I'm doing some room in Seattle and then I'm doing a one nighter in Portland. Nice. Portland helium. I love Seattle.

That area you're going to fucking rules. Seattle's great. I've never been to Seattle. I love it. You know what you should try to do though? And obviously you don't have any choice, but Seattle in the summer is amazing. Yeah. Huge boating culture. But why don't you just stay?

No, just bring your rod up there and leave your rod up. And then you have back to back, then you could fish in Seattle. That's not a bad idea. Where would I leave my rod? Ship it. Leave it at the hotel and then have a courier take it down to Seattle for you could fish in Seattle. That's not a bad idea. Where would I leave my rod? Ship it.

Leave it at the hotel and then have a courier take it down to Seattle for you. That's not a bad idea. Bike messenger. Have you ever used a bike messenger, you fucking idiot? I guess I haven't gotten around to that now. You have to try the courier. What are you talking about?

It's on Uber now. Just leave Vancouver to Seattle. Just leave your rod in Vancouver. It'll be there when you get to Seattle. Yes. He's not wrong. Where would it be? They'll take it to wherever your hotel is.

Who's they? The Bike Messenger. Uber Courier. I'm going on Uber right now. I'll find you a courier. The Bike Messenger is the couriers up in that part of the world, the Pacific Northwest. A jaunt for them from Vancouver to Seattle

is equivalent to us booking a courier here. That's like 13 blocks. I've never booked a courier. I didn't know that was a thing that you guys were doing so frequently. Yeah, they're fun. I'm pulling it up right now. There was a Joseph Curry. Look, Uber courier bike. What if they get there before though? Like what if they get there early? Just make sure you check does not require signature. Got it. And then they'll leave it. Anything up to 15 pounds.

I'll have these at Rod. It's not Nicky Smokes. My Rod, it weighs, I think maybe like one pound. I talked to Nicky Smokes this morning and he was like trying to like give you advice on how to to get girls. I was like, I'm pretty sure Francis is fine. Well, I could always, I mean, look,

I could always use a little tip. What did he say? He was like, he said you tried too hard. That's me? Trying too hard? That's what I was like, I'm sure he's fine. He's like, well, how bad does he want to fuck coworkers? Hey, hey, hey, well, does he, how bad does he want to fuck coworkers?

So bad. I want to, I want to really go right through the directory of the company. All of course, we'll be talking Nicky Smokes in Vancouver this weekend. So make sure you buy tickets. I'm doing 30 on Nicky Smokes this weekend. It could go crazy. Yeah. He gets numbers. So why are you pissed off? Well, I had to pay my city bike ticket right before we came on.

Sass didn't hear about this ticket that you got. Oh, you were here. Yeah, you were. Absolutely was. Yeah, he was. Fool. We talked about it for like an hour and a half. I thought that you weren't here that day. Nope I was. Maybe I wasn't here that day. I think you weren't here. Look I just maybe I just tuned you out because I was so zoned in on your story. So you

had to wind up paying. Sorry about Ron Francis. Continue. Sorry about Sass. I just assumed that he's never here. I mean. It's an easy assumption to make that he wasn't here. Couple too many iced coffees this morning? Yeah, I'm paying too much attention. Francis throwing up again. No, I'm just, you know.

This is Japanese salvage juice. I'm trying to make myself small. Don't, but why? So I can let you two, you know. That's not very Miley Cyrus of you. I feel like I'm at a make myself small. Don't, why? So I can let you two, you know. That's not very Miley Cyrus of you. I feel like I'm at a dinner table right now and I wish I were not here. Last thing I'll say about Vancouver.

I can't believe. What would you guys, should I just stay awake? Until the show? Until the flight and then sleep on the plane? Dude, no man. Do you have first class? No. Yeah and then sleep on the plane. Dude, no, man. Do you have first class? No. Yeah. You should not do that.

You should. Delta One. Okay. Cheap as fuck. That's huge. It's like 500 bucks. That's huge. You have Delta One.

You have a bed. Well, I have a layover, so we'll see if it's actually Delta One. Where are you flying to? Like Minnesota. All right, so the Minnesota to Vancouver leg should give you enough time to actually get some sleep. Can you sleep on flights?

Yeah, yeah. Great. You need to try to sleep before your flight, though, which means to Rohn's point, you need to be disciplined. Yeah, but I just don't think I'll be able to wake up. I think I won't wake up. What do you mean? Because you're dead?

Yeah. Why wouldn't you be able to wake up? I genuinely think I'll sleep through my alarms. Can you get some kind of a, I don't even know what to say to that. Maybe I'll put my phone across the room or something. Being able to wake up. I have to stand up. So the issue would be your alarm would go off,

you would snooze it, fall back asleep and not wake up again. Exactly. What happens is I put my phone, I put my hand on the volume button, and then every time it goes, I just click it immediately, and then fall back asleep for hours. Even if you knew you had a flight

that was leading to, this is the only flight that gets you out to your gig on time, you would not feel the urgency and anxiety to get there. I'll make it. You'll make it. No, I'll make it. You'll make it.

I'm just so mad about it. It's not even, I'm not even mad that I'm going, I'm excited to go to Vancouver. I've always wanted to go to Vancouver. I just, dude, 6 a.m. And how long is the, you're gonna be traveling for 12 hours. I'm gonna be traveling the entire day.

Yeah. The entire day. How are there not better flights to Vancouver? I bet you I could find a better routing. Find one right now. How are there not better flights to Vancouver? Do you have the kayak app on your phone? There's one there-

I don't. Oh, brother. I'll try to find it. Kayak, Expedia, Priceline, I mean everything. I've tried everything. Go to town, brother. Treat it like it's your own. It's so far away.

It's like farther than Europe. It's not though. It's as far as California. And that's farther than parts of Europe. What parts? Like anywhere inland of Iceland, England, Ireland, probably like the West Coast of Portugal. Those are all, aren't those all like seven hours?

Seven, eight hours? I think they're like six. Portugal's like five and a half. Really? Dublin's like five, five and a half. Dang, I did not know that. You get there quickly. That could be you, bro. Yeah. And you have a lay five, five and a half. Dang, I did not know that. You get there quickly. That could be you, bro.

Yeah. And you have a layover, so it's farther. Yeah, you're right. I really hope you get to lay down. I'm afraid you're not gonna be able to. I don't think I'm going to. I know, especially with the layover. If you were direct, maybe.

Or what about flying direct to Seattle and then taking a little up from Seattle? I don't understand how there isn't a single direct flight. It's actually not a bad idea. Go right to Seattle. I'm gonna have to rent a car anyway. But then I have to go across the border. With all that weed.

I have to go across the border in a car. What time's your first show? I think like eight, seven, eight. Mind taking your PlayStation out of your bag, son? Great idea, Ron. I might actually do that. Dude, okay, really quick. Search the Seattle flights now.

It's close. There is a 12, 15 p.m. that gets you to Vancouver at 6 p.m. Oh, my God. I thought you just meant, like, a red eye that gets in at 6 p.m. And I was like, what the fuck? 18 hours? Yeah, you're gonna be in O'Hare for 12 hours. But... It's fine, you pop over to the office.

Yeah, I don't think I'll have time for that. That's cutting it too close. Because I'm gonna have to check a bag, potentially. Who's your fishing rod that you're to have couriered down to Seattle. Then I would have to go because I'm gonna have to rent a car too. So I'd have to go like straight to the show. Oh, there is a direct. But. See, Francis is good at this.

Well, it's not gonna work for SAS. What about this Seattle flight? What about the Seattle? I'm loving the Seattle idea. I don't even want to look it up right now. Buddy, here we go. Here we go. 752.

752 from JFK? Newark. From Newark? Gets you in at 2 PM. How much is it? $400. For main cabin? Yeah.

Yeah. You are such a fucking liar. That's a perfectly good flight. So you, all of this was on the premise. So I looked at that flight and then I was like. It's just that it wasn't first class. Well, you know, I was weighing the options. I was like, all right, so I would either. You said there were no other flights that would get you there on time. That's not really a great, I mean, that's not like a game-changing option. Eight o'clock versus six o'clock is night and day, quite literally.

It will be dark at six a.m. It will not be dark at eight a.m. Those two hours for an early flight are going to amount to huge reduction in stress. You'll sleep eight a.m. at Newark. Is that Delta or United? It's United. And you're a United man these days,

despite their soggy lettuce wraps. I knew you were full of it. There's a 730 out of LaGuardia that gets you in at 352. How much is that? $354. These are all for main cabin though. What do you want me to say, dude? Like if you wanted first class,

you'd rather do first class at 6 a.m. than a regular cabin at 8 a.m.? I'm taking 8 a.m. over that any day of the week. That's kind of what I was, that was kind of the thought, I was trying to weigh the options there, because I was like, like would I rather be able to lay down on the flight? Oh my God. Oh my God. 9 30 AM gets you in at 3 50 PM

that flight is expensive. 420 bucks. But that's like, I mean, it's just like at what point are we going to reach a point on this podcast where not one thing that Harry says- What would you do in the, so in this situation, you would give up the Delta 1 and you would go to the main cabin? A hundred percent. 6 AM? Are you out of your mind?

That's a nightmare. I cannot believe you're taking that flight. I would sit in the bathroom on a 930 flight. But dude, then you're in the air for like nine hours in Maine, in economy? How much was your seat? Mine was like 600, 700. I can't believe you've made the wrong choice.

Cause first of all, on Delta, with your status, there's a pretty high likelihood that you're- No, I already checked, there is none. I don't believe you. I just don't believe you. Don't believe me. You would have gotten Comfort Plus at least. Dude, everything sold out. Do we have to go into this?

And if they're not, it's like $1,800 for an upgrade, which I'm not paying. It's just funny. It makes your complaints funnier because you're like- There's always a caveat. There's always a caveat. There's always a caveat. And there's like a stipulation that you had to sit first class, delta one.

And you didn't mention that. No, the caveat is that I don't know if I wanna give up. Like if first class wasn't an option, I wouldn't have sat first class. If it was too expensive, I wouldn't have sat first class. The point is I got a first class seat for the whole way there.

I just, you know, this sounded like- Do I wanna give it up for one more hour of sleep? At first, this was a credible complaint. 730 versus 630 is one more hour of sleep. No, you said your flight's 6 a.m.? 6 a.m. 6 a.m. to 730 is gigantic. It's an hour and a half more of sleep.

Dude, it's such a.m. 6 a.m. to 7 30 is gigantic. It's an hour and a half more. Dude, it's such a big difference. 6 a.m. to 8 a.m., it's like dog years at that time of day. It is. It really is. Am I wrong? I totally agree. Cause think of this, 6 a.m. flight means you're waking up at four.

Four is an insane time to wake up. Four is yesterday. It's, yeah. It truly is a question of do I just stay up all night? Especially on your schedule. Eight a.m. means you're waking up at six. Six a.m. is a reasonable time to wake up. It's not ideal, but it's, I don't know.

I usually wake up at seven. I know you wake up later, but like getting up an hour earlier, 6 a.m., you go to bed at like 11.30 midnight, six hours of sleep, you're fine. Yeah. You're fine. You're not shattered. Yeah.

And you still sleep on the plane. I, objectively, trying to help you, I would switch to that Delta flight. The 9.30? 9.30s might as well be middle of the day. Yeah, but I think it's pretty nice. Well, is it definitely Delta 1 or is it just first class? The 930? 930s might as well be middle of the day. Yeah. Yeah, but think of it. Well, is it definitely Delta 1 or is it just first class?

It said Delta 1. I mean, Delta 1 will be pretty nice. And it's only one leg of the flight, though, right? Because they're not going to have Delta 1 to Minneapolis. Yeah. That's why you need an aura ring, so you can test your sleep score to see if you get that much better sleep on the Delta 1.

But you're going to want to much better sleep on the Delta 1. But you're going to want to stay up to enjoy the Delta 1. You're going to want the meal. No, no, no, no. Dude, you've made an error here. I'm sorry to say, and I'm so glad that we did stick with this. Now it's been 45 minutes on this topic, but we got to the root of it. And now we can solve it. You need to switch your fucking flight.

You're out of your mind for saying that, well, once I get to Minneapolis, I'll have a lie flat bed. What the fuck, dude? You're still connecting. If it were a direct flight from 6 a.m., maybe there's an argument at that point. Or if you don't switch, you just have to wave your anger. What was it, it was 9.30? There's a 9.m. maybe there's an argument at that time at that point or if you don't switch you just have to wave your anger what was it it was 930 there's a 930 are you actually switching on Delta do this after the pot no he's got to get

it's gonna be gone by then it's gonna be gone Jesus Christ I'm not even not even showing up on the Delta app where was it out of JFK JFK I'll have to do it after why don't you call it why don't you call your Delta Diamond Medallion hotline? They're savvy. I'll call them after. They'll get it done fast. The Diamond Medallion people, English is their first language. It's nice.

They will sort you out. I'm glad that we talked about this. They're like, Hi Harry, it's Tom in Kansas City. How are you? What can I do for you today? Here's who I voted for. Here's my favorite baseball player for every year of my life.

Thank you for your diamond medallion status. I'm happy we discussed this because now I've come, you know, I needed that. I needed a little, now I'm excited. Yes. Now I'm excited to get out to Vancouver. Jesus fucking Christ. It's so tough.

You make your life tough, man. I don't think I do. I think going to Delta One is actually the opposite of making your life tough. It's just making your life easy. But you made it completely, I don't know what you're weighing, but you weighed it wrong.

It was the non-negotiable. You made Delta One the non-negotiable. You know what I'm really excited for is to check these flights to Seattle. How far into a drive you think that is? Long. Two hours? Longer than you'd think. Two, three hours?

I don't know. I would do a six hour drive. Driving rules. Okay. You're going to have to go through customs. Make sure you don't forget your passport now. You got to go through customs in person? Yeah. You're crossing an international border. I thought it was just like a toll booth and you just like...

Two hours, 39 minutes, bro. Easy. Eat that up. Easy. I don't mind that way. I don't mind that way. Now you've got to think of a couple of things though, really quick.

If you're going to do that, that means that you're landing in Seattle. Yeah. You're going to rent a car. Yeah. Was already going to do that. It's supposedly one of the most beautiful drives in all of North America.

That does sound lovely. That does sound lovely. I don't I don't mind this at all sag it value This is what we'll do, but you are you are adding a significant amount of time that you're gonna have to account for Yeah, but if assuming the flights to Seattle are normal like they would be like LA you're buying probably Yeah, you'll get there 6 a.m. You'll be awesome time in the sky get down Yeah, maybe I'll hit Whistler on the way up. It's I think it's north of the city I could be wrong, but I think it's north. It's on the other side Deception pass. Oh my god. All right, let's I've taken up too much time of the podcast. I apologize All right, guys, can we talk about factor SAS? I know this is your basically your expertise

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Francis, tell us the story about the ticket. It's nothing, it's nothing. I don't even care. I care. I care. I paid the ticket, I paid the ticket. And how much was it? 240.

I thought you were gonna go to court. I wanted to, and I opted for that first. First of all, I lost the ticket. So I had to plug in all kinds of government information just to fucking wade my way through the quagmire of red tape that is the New York Department of Traffic Violations Bureau. Yeah.

Right? Finally found it. I had two tickets. One was for something and one was for another thing. It's what I said. He hit me with two different things. One was for 50 bucks. One was for 190. I checked both and said that I wanted to contest them in court. They gave me the next available court date.

Want to know when that was? November. December. March 12th, 2 30 p.m. Today, I thought, holy shit, I'm going to have this resolved 2.30 PM. Today? I thought, holy shit, I'm gonna have this resolved by supper. Yeah. What the hell? Unbelievable. Am I wearing clothes that I can appear

in front of a judge with in a convincing way? I don't know. I'm a little worried. But there was Brunello sale. Well, right, exactly. I did bring a Brunello coat in today. So I was thinking about sort of rubbing some paint on it to sort of bring it down a little bit. However, I thought I filled it all out, said,

fuck yeah, I'll be there at 2.30. Great, solved, can't wait. Yeah. And also I thought there's no way that that cop is gonna show up on such short notice. He's probably working. He probably is. And then I got my confirmation email

and realized that it said March 12th, 2.30 PM, 2026. Ooh. A full year from now. Brutal. And I thought, I don't even think I'll be alive any year. Oh. Not with the way I'm going. Not with the bouts of depression I'm prone to. Not with the fact that my next apartment is definitely gonna have a

bath in it. And windows had opened. Yeah. So I truly don't want to leave my family with unpaid traffic tickets. That was the first thought I had. That'll compound. I wanna shuffle off my mortal coil with a clean ledger. Yeah, pay every bill and have the fidelity account ready for the next person. Exactly. So I then went back in and was like, golly, can I move this up somehow? And I went into Reddit and checked it out.

They were like, no, this is it. And I was like, I truly thought, because if you don't show up for your court date, they suspend your license. Damn. They just hit you with the automatic full fine and they suspend your license. Damn.

They clearly make this all very threatening and scary to just get you to pay the ticket and say, I don't wanna deal with that, which is exactly what I fucking did. Yeah. I bent the knee, paid the 240 bucks. Why wouldn't you just wait the year? I feel like that's such a Francis thing to like-

It would have been, it's the old me. I would have stood up for myself. Revenge, best serve cold type of thing. Especially since they said you need evidence or I would say I would have lack of evidence in my favor, which is that most of those things will have the traffic light camera to prove whether or not you went through the yellow, which is what I thought

he said I went through a red. And I specifically asked for that from the cop. And he was like, well, this specific intersection, they don't have cameras set up. Which you would win. And then he told me that the reason he was there was because this is the deadliest intersection in New York. And I was like, what a paradox.

But the deadliest intersection in New York wouldn't have fucking cameras set up? Traffic lights. No chance, brother. I didn't call him that, he was black. I said, sir. I really thought that most of the traffic cops would be deported by a year from now. I know.

In New York. I just don't, I have no idea if I'll be in New York on March 12th of 2026. Yeah, having to come back to New York will be nasty. 2026 sounds... Futuristic. Like it's a fake year. We'll have flying cars. What is, what day of the week is that? Did you check?

It didn't look. It'll probably be like a Friday. You'll want to be upstate. Yeah. So I just paid it, just cause I didn't want to think about it anymore. It's probably the best move. Not happy about it, guys.

Waiting a year would have been a lot. This is just one of those things I truly believed that I did not do what they accused me of doing. So then fucking stand up for justice. It's already paid. It is what it is. Out of sight, out of mind. Well, what if you pay it

and then you still go to the court date in a year? You either pay it, which is the equivalent of pleading guilty, or you appeal, plead not guilty, you get a court date to show up a year from now. You should be able to plead no contest. I will say that a year would have been enough time for me to plant evidence on that cop. Yeah.

You know, come back to the code here. You could have worked something out. You could have unraveled his life in a year. Yeah, I could have. You could have handed him. I could have. You could have unraveled his life in a year. Yeah, I could have. You could have handed him. I could have. You could have honestly killed him and gotten away with it in a year.

I think I could have joined the police force and filed insider complaints within the department about his heavy handedness with female traffic stops. You know, I'll say this. He's grabbing those bikers. That hooker he pulled over, I didn't think she had anything on her skirt, but'll say this. He's grabbing those bikers. That hooker he pulled over, I didn't think she had anything on her skirt. But he was comprehensive.

Full cavity shirts, that's a little bit touchy. Little feely. Joining the force would be great. It would be so nice. That'd be an unreal, like if you made a video out of that, it was just like a 10 hour long video over the course of a year of you joining the police. I got a $240 traffic ticket I didn't believe in.

So I became a police officer. All while still doing the podcast. I work in nights. That might be worth writing a movie. You're working nights. That is a very good, I don't know, is there a YouTuber who does anything like that? Sort of like the method type thing.

It's almost Nathan Fielder. Yeah, yeah. He wishes he would join the force. You're built for the force. They'd love to have you. But I'm on those boys Reddit, the new cops Reddit, and it's fucking brutal. All I do is complain because they say it's so hard to be a cop right now and for your first few years, you have to eat so much shit like what you just have to do like traffic shit

I think that you can't like like beat the fuck out of people anymore some bullshit. Hmm It's just fucking bull. All I wanted to do was fucking shoot someone and we don't even get done first Or first the NFL now the police Most cops are actually failed NFL players No, the police. I mean, it's inevitable, because most cops are actually failed NFL players. A lot of practice squad boys on the force these days. They all had the dream.

A lot of practice squad cricket players on the force these days in the New York police department. Are you going to sell your Tesla? Why would I do that? I don't know. I feel like everybody's selling their Teslas. Are they? Tesla's down $700 billion. The stock?

Yeah. I don't have Tesla stock. I sold. Did you? I'm out. I don't care. The car works. I bought it used.

It was cheap as fuck. I've seen some shit on Reddit of people like they'll get back from the grocery shopping, look at back to their Tesla and there's like swastikas all over it. Yeah. And then you have to drive home. My guess is that's happening in Vancouver. Probably.

Yeah, probably. Where do you think that is happening? Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Minnesota. I don't know what to say. Look, I'm not even defending you on it anymore. I'm really not. You know, I don't whatever. I don't know what to say. Look, I'm not even defending Elon anymore. I'm really not, you know, I don't, whatever. I don't fucking care. Well, it's a, the whole situation is-

Sorry. You like your whip. Yeah. It's not even that I like it. It just, it solves, it's, what am I gonna do? Protest Elon Musk's politics by selling the car that works perfectly for me? Well, this is the paradox that it it's created for a lot of people

is that a lot of people bought the car as a way to signal their virtue, and then now it suggests a different type of person that would have the car. So there's people who, just to show that they don't agree with someone politically, are going to get rid of their car that's good for the environment. So they'll do something that's like worse for the environment

just to be like, I don't support Elon Musk. Dude, there are two ways to go about this. What are they? One of them being if you're anti-Elon and you're not pro or anti, but you're not, and especially when it comes to the car, you don't really care. You just report the news. But if you did care, easy option is trade your car.

Sell your car. Get rid of it. For a different EV? Get it, maybe go Kia, you know? So maybe a hybrid. That's worse for the environment. So that's still good for the environment. I don't know about you, but my grandfather fought hard in the Korean War.

Understood. Those wounds have not healed. Understood, so no Kia. I have never bought a Kia. Maybe we'll go a Honda. For the very reasons that people apply to selling Teslas. Political, it's political for me with Kia. The other option is if you really like your Tesla

and maybe you know, you know, maybe you think the pale to Hitler, maybe he was really just, you know, giving his heart out to those people and Maybe you want to stick it to the libs Cybertruck off go big upgrade go big yeah, yeah now that that is an interesting thought leaning into it I don't hate that just get a Confederate flag decal around the whole thing. Yeah, wrap it.

Or like one of those paint changing versions where like you go past it and the Confederate flag turns into a whole swastika or something like that. I went to West Coast Customs, I got my swastika turned into a... The horn plays the national anthem.

Cover it, cover it with like the X'd out versions of those voting machines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just have it like spray painted like the t-shirts of I guess Latin American soldiers who have passed away. That'd be nice. It's not a bad idea. I don't hate it.

But I was gonna say though, again, to that option, if I'm honestly answering it, the whole reason I keep the car is because it's just I've paid for it. It's cheap. Well, the whole reason you've kept the car is because it's your car. And most people don't just sell their car because of a political reason.

As a political protest, yeah. I really am able to separate commodities from the founders. What are, like, I didn't stop eating Chick-fil-A when they came out against gay rights or something like that. You didn't sell your Hugo Boss after. Right, I never ate Chick-fil-A because it makes people fat. And I hate fat people. There, I stepped on that good. So I protest Chick-fil-A because it makes people fat. And I hate fat people. There, I stepped on that good.

So I protest Chick-fil-A for what it's doing to people in America. But you know. You ever had Chick-fil-A? I've had a bite. That's it? I mean, I could feel my toes falling off. That's pretty good.

So good. It gives me the worst stomach ache I've ever had. Yeah. Every time I eat it. I haven't had it in like a year, cause I can't eat it. I think there's like a double digit percentage of Americans who can't survive without Chick-fil-A.

That's so fucking good. Like the Brandon Walkers of the world. He eats it every day. Yeah. He eats Chick-fil-A the way that children eat peanut butter and jelly. Yeah. Just like he packs a lunch.

Yeah. Chick-fil-A. That's what's happening. Oh, it's time. Yeah. It's time for me to see what is in my lunch box. Do you know he orders double on Saturday? For the next day.

And then puts it in the refrigerator for Sunday because Chick-fil-A is closed on Sunday. Disgusting. I know. Cold Chick-fil-A. Yeah. No, his wife throws it in like, not even the air fryer,

she'll just throw it in like a sizzling pot of grease just to reinvigorate the Chick-fil-A. And lets it just kind of steam under the grease for like all you really need is like a minute or two. Just to wake it back up, that's what he calls it, waking it back up. Yeah, he does use that exact, that's what he says. Gonna wake my sandwich back up.

Yeah. Oh, I gotta wake it up. Look, all this is to say, there is fast food that I like. Such as? I like- Just salad, sweet green. I like Wendy's.

I'll have Wendy's. Wendy's is good. I like Wendy's. Cause they still have the salad bar. Yeah. What was the burger place? Burger King? No, the really good one.

Shake Shack. I like Shake Shack. I don't like Shake Shack. I love it. There you go. Yeah. I like Shake Shack. Yeah.

I mean, I'll eat some Whack Arnolds in a punch, pinch. But- But yeah, you shouldn't have to get rid of your car for any like... I don't even know what it would take. If I found out that the person that makes my fucking air fryer was the original designer of the ovens in the Holocaust, I'd still be like, well, it's got to be his grandkids that made this one.

And I don't know what they believe. And it's like an improvement of the technology. It's being used for good. It's using the same technology for good. Yeah. It's clearly not human sized. As long as it's a tiny air fryer that you couldn't even like put a human hand in. Yeah.

Right. And I'm also not telling, nevermind, I can't make that joke. You got to now. I was going to say, I'm not telling the halibut fillets when I put them in that they're just regular showers. Taking the pearls out of like a clam before you put it in. I'm honest. I'm honest about the purpose of the air fryer. Taking the shoes off a horse before you throw it into the air fryer. Yeah. Oh man. But I've seen videos of people like chasing down cyber trucks.

Be like, fuck you! I think the cyber truck guys get... I don't think people are like harassing people that just drive like a standard Tesla. It's funny that he's... I think it's mostly the cyber truck people that are getting harassed. Hmm. I think some of both are happening but people are also feeling the need to put the bumper stickers on their Tesla that are like I don't support the guy who it's like who gives a **** dude who

literally gives a **** Yes, there's like bumper stickers that you could buy that like our anti-Elon bumper stickers, but have you seen that right now like the White House is they have like Tesla's parked out front, like it's like a car lot, like it's a used car lot, cause obviously Tesla stock is so bad that Elon's trying to use the White House to like get his stock back up.

Really? And he just has like, come on down to look at the White House and get a Model 3, a fleet of Teslas. I walked by, I went to the White House when I was in DC. I walked past it. How, when was this? Couple of weeks ago. Yeah.

Oh nice. Three weeks ago maybe. I hadn't been there in a long time. And- The house? Hmm? The house or DC? The White House. Yeah.

I didn't go the either of the first few times. The house that Donnie built. Oh really? I went. You did? Yeah, but all't go either of the first few times. The house that Donnie built. Oh really? I went. You did? Yeah, but all times. So cool. It is cool.

Yeah. The security is terrifying. Yeah. You're just like, you have that, you know, the imp of the perverse, the perversity of the human spirit, the thought. Don't wanna jump over this fence. Like, yeah.

Scale the fence. A guy did that a couple weeks ago. What's going to prevent my mind from malfunctioning right now and running over to the fence? And you just envision the reaction, what they would do. And it scares the shit out of me.

Yeah, you'd explode. You would be dust within two seconds. Yeah. The guns that they have on the roof of the White House, the bullets they're shooting are like this big. Yeah, there you go. Like subway sandwiches.

Yeah, literally. But I think that they have to kind of budget for that in their defense planning for the White House, that there could just be a crazy who's just trying to like run across the lawn. Like didn't a guy crash like a Self-manned aircraft into the lawn of the White House a couple years ago Like I like that are they just shooting to kill if you even step on the grass. I think so. Yeah I think that was yeah, that was called Olympus has fallen

Remember that operational the White House has fallen. Thank God Gerard Butler was on hand that movie is crazy bad Thank God Gerard Butler was on hand. That movie is crazy bad. Olympus has fallen was okay. White House down was bad. White House down, yeah. The Jamie Foxx one. White House down is one of like the funniest bad movies I've ever seen.

Canning Tatum. Yeah. The CGI. Jamie Foxx is like, don't scuff my Jordans or something. I just remember there's a scene where they show like an overhead shot of like the Washington Monument

And like a plane or like a helicopter crashing into it or some shit And it's like the war it literally looks like like someone made it on like an app on their phone Yeah, it's like the worst cgi i've ever seen in my entire life. Yeah, that's so funny It's like it's like visibly like animated. It felt like olympus olympus has fallen had a budget And then white house down people found out they were making that movie first and they were like, well, why are we even trying? Yeah, they cut all funding. Let's just do it on what we've got Yeah, yeah, let's see we can make this movie with 20,000. Pay Jamie, pay Channing and then you know, we'll do the rest on

Adobe Word Art. Did you guys ever watch Civil War? Yeah, I did. Because that had a good White House, like, explosion scenes at the end. That one was, I thought that was a pretty solid movie. I never saw that. It's pretty good.

I liked it. I heard it was mid. I thought it was interesting, it was compelling, it was pretty dark. Very dark. I liked it a lot. The guy who plays, Kirsten Dunst's actual husband, Jesse Plemons, he's only in it for 10 to 15 minutes.

He's like... He has a level of sadism in that movie that he had in Breaking Bad. Interesting. And the only thing he does in the movie is he owns a Tesla. Interesting. Yeah, that's how fucking evil it is. In the Civil War movie. Mm-hmm.

That's how fucking disgusting it is to own a Tesla these days Pisses me off. I watched I watched an aura last night. Oh you did yeah, did you get hard no? gay Thought it was good though. I enjoyed it, but there's so much fucking how'd you not get hard? Because I'm not fucking six years old I'm not watching the movie just like There's a ton of I was sorry I was taking in the cinematography Six million dollars to make that movie

Really and then 18 million dollars on Oscar budgeting. That's all that yeah Wow I Mean it was good. I don't know if it was best picture good. I think it benefited from a weak Oscar class this year. I really do. I mean it was good, but yeah, I don't think it. I would have put a complete unknown on top of that. If they didn't have the whole after the fact plot line where it's like, this is a movie in support of sex workers, like it didn't really feel like a movie about

or even in support of sex workers, it more just felt like a interesting story that involved a sex worker? Yeah, 100%. You know, it wasn't like people taking a stand for all like the crazy things. It actually made it look pretty pretty dope to be a sex worker. Yeah, 10 G's. Yeah, just getting guapped up and like smoking herb with a fucking diplomat. I was kind of surprised that she only, that they were like, we're gonna give you 10,000. And she was like, all right,

I would have been like 500 million. Like clearly those people were like the richest people on earth. Yeah. Like wouldn't you be pushing for, I'd be pushing for like 100k. Well, they said, she said I'm gonna hold fast and then they were like, we'll come after you.

Yeah, yeah, we're gonna destroy you. So that's a plot hole. But I bet you that ring that he... Uh, spoiler alert. Uh, the ring that the other bodyguard guy gives her at the end is probably worth 50. 50. Yeah. Yeah, she'll pawn that, flip it. She'll get 36 for it.

Probably get 36 by a Tesla. Dude, what are... I'm trying to think of other products that the world has come out and said, sell this. If you own it. Oh, I can give you a couple right off the top of my head. Nikes. Own your Nikes. Starbucks. After Kaepernick.

Yes. Starbucks is a good one. What did people boycott Starbucks for? Read the Cups. You're mentioning Nike with Kaepernick. I was thinking the whole child labor cups. You're mentioning Nike with Kaepernick. I was thinking the whole child labor thing. Oh, I was thinking Kaepernick. So that's gone in both ways. Both the left and the right have decided to boycott it.

I never stopped wearing Nikes. I'm sorry. No, no. Never once was I even close to being like, eh, it's unethical for me to have this product in my closet. Well, that was... I will say, I stopped wearing Yeezys when Kanye...

Yeah, yeah. I was like, I don't think these are cool anymore. But it wasn't like... Yeah, Yeezys, that's another one. I did kind of be like, I'm kind of over my Yeezys. Yeah, that's a tough one. But at the same time, though, it's just like they kind of went out of style. If he was still making new, fresh designs, I hit people would get like a bunch of little like instead of checks on the side

They just have the swastika. Yeah. Yeah Instead of like a little converse circle just a little swastika in the corner. What else? What are the what other ones? definitely, I mean Nike was the first one I could think of I Remember I stopped flying Delta after they didn't have direct flights to Vancouver for a while. Mm-hmm. That's all I could hope for from this episode. That everybody boycotts. Like, everybody just burn your diamond medallion bag tags.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Dude, I, what was I going to say? Fuck, I had something to fuck. Which I never got got by the way. You never got your diamond bag tags? I think it's for the best. I have a theory that the Delta baggage handlers treat your baggage worse when they see that tag on there.

100%. And then I have the problem that if I'm flying a different airline, I have to take it off. Oh yeah. Because then I'm genuinely afraid that they're going to a different airline, I have to take it off. Oh, yeah. Because then I'm genuinely afraid that they're going to open it up and take a shit in it. Yeah. Imagine.

Yeah. Imagine getting to the hotel and unzipping your bag and there's just a huge dump inside. Big dump. Ha ha ha. Because Americans been incentivizing their workers every time you see a Delta bag shit inside of it. We'll give you $500 extra for every shit

that you can prove that you've done. 500 credit to Hudson News. $50 gift certificate to the Barstool store. I was trying to do a bit about Hudson News for a while about like how you could get that, why you would ever get that job. And I was like looking into the, I was like on indeed,

like looking up like the perks of working at a Hudson News. And like, I looked it up, they get like, there was like one of their biggest perks was that they get a 10% discount at Hudson News. Which is like Pringles for $14. Yes, now you're just getting the standard prices. That's the perk. $15 instead of $17.

Um... Yeah, it's bizarre. I thought of what I was thinking of, which was that Bill Burr had a great bit in his special that he filmed at Red Rocks, which kind of didn't... It went under the radar a little bit, but about how Coco Chanel was a Nazi sympathizer.

The dated, you know, high ranking members of the SS and stuff. And he goes, anytime you see that big pile of children's shoes and some grainy Holocaust footage, the guy who built that pile, Coco Chanel was sucking his dick. Yeah. That handbag you have on your arm.

Yeah. That hit, yeah. I think I've seen that bit. Yeah. Classic, brr. Truth. Can't stop, bro, the truth. He's got a new special coming out on Hulu.

Yeah, he does. I'm excited, I bet that's gonna be fucking good. Same, I'm very excited for it. I think that's gonna be really, really good. I've heard good things about it. I heard he kills white women really I heard he destroys them Look out bitches. He's also on Broadway right now and Glenn Greek Glenn Ross with an unbelievable cat Doesn't that start this week? Yeah, Bill Burr's on Broadway. Yeah, it's gonna be sick

I'm gonna go with the guy from here and Colkin Bob Odenkirk Damn, that's pretty sick. We're all thinking about going. Yeah, should we go? A little game time action? No, no game time until after that Super Bowl ticket I got. I don't think anyone's allowed to have game time with the entire company for a couple more months.

I'll let you know that. That actually is what happened, right? Literally. Literally what happened. Should we talk about Nicky Smokes at all? Parcel at the ballpark. That actually is what happened, right? Literally. Yeah. Literally what happened. Should we talk about Nicky Smokes at all? What about him? Just to kind of get the, just to ease his name a little bit. Sure, yeah, let's smoke it up.

We should come up with a strain of weed called Nicky Smokes where instead of putting you to sleep or making you creative, it just makes your dick longer. Yeah, it's got Viagra Another hand to your dick. What would happen if you like if you like crushed up a blue chew and you Put it on top of the blunt It probably gets you fucking there. You'd probably die right if you smoked blue chew. I don't think so If you smoked blue chew. I don't think so. I don't think you would at all.

I can't imagine smoking blue chew has any good effects on the human body. People smoke crack, bro. Blue chew? Yeah, but crack's intended to be smoked. No. That's its sole purpose is to smoke. No, bro. That would be great for you.

It's crazy that he measures his penis the way that people measure a horse. In hands. That's good. Oh man. Classic shit. Classic fucking shit. That is classic shit. That's what that is.

Yeah, you already know. You already know what fucking time it is. I feel bad that I talked about my flight for so long. Why? No one cares. That's literally what people want. I feel like I sabotaged the episode. I told him that I was at the Chicago airport on Friday and I was at the bar because it was by the gate

because I was trying to switch gates or switch flights to an earlier flight because mine kept getting delayed. And someone came up to me, he's like, not at the Delta lounge? Oh yeah. Roasted my ass. Yeah, I get that a lot.

Yeah, it's all people talk to me about. It's all people talk to you about too, I get that a lot. Yeah, it's all people talk to me about. It's all people talk to you about too, you said. Yeah, pretty much. It's all people talk to you about too. If I'm ever not in first class on a Delta flight, which by the way, I don't buy first class seats. Impossible. I just buy a regular and hope to get upgraded.

How would you ever get to Diamond Medallion if you don't buy first class? Company flies me first class and I fly a lot for Barstool. I'm not buying it. That's true. That's what you said with the first class. That's true.

I can show you all my flight receipts anytime I'm flying for myself. Now, when I fly one international flight to like, let's say Europe or somewhere a year, I use miles and I do get a business class seat for that. Of course you have to. But if I'm flying domestically, LA, whatever, I'm flying coach and hoping you're upgraded.

You save your miles, I don't save my miles. I use them all the time. I have a million miles. Really? I think I have like 20,000. How many miles do you have? Do you use them a lot? I use them for the Japan trip this past year and that wiped out like 500,000. How many miles do you have? Do you use them a lot? I don't, I use them for the Japan trip this past year and that wiped out like

500,000 miles, but I'm at like 800,000. Nice. I'm always using them. Why? You shouldn't do that. They say that they're, that they're devaluing them constantly. So they say just use them. Is that right? Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. But I mean, and I know it's not million miler. I know that's a different rubric, but I just want to get to that fucking sweet million.

Yeah. Being a million miler or being 360. Dude, I think you have really big pupils. Like, they protrude a lot from your eyeball, because when you close your eyes and move them around, it looks like there's, like, ferrets running under a fucking... Oh, that's a good point. It does. Look how, like, protruded his pupils areuding like you people's are behind their eyelids his eye nipples. Yeah, they really do they really do stick out Don't sad about why do you have that?

Is that because your eyelids are too tight or your eyes are too big? Yeah, lids are too tight my lids might be too tight. I don't it's a good round eyes. He's like pointy Booey shaped eyes Boring holes through our souls. Close your eyes and move your eyes around a little bit. Yeah, do it. Look at that! Ewwwww!

It's like a knuckle. Brother, eww! It has a knuckle! It's like someone's trying to break out of your brain. What the fuck? Why is your eyeball so pointy? I don't know. God, that's nasty!

I wish I had the answers for you, but I don't. That's fine. Just the anomalies of being sass. Just sass being sass. Are those Japanese denim? They are. You got them out of the freezer this morning? They're not comfortable.

Well, because they're fucking still frozen. No, let me tell you something. I bought these four years ago in Austin. And I have been trying to break them in ever since because I love them, but they are the most uncomfortable pants I've ever worn. Someone told me that if you actually just wash your jeans, it will soften them up.

I washed them and you would have thought that I had poured cement throughout. Immediately I pulled them out. They are now five times worse than they were before. Really? Then someone was like, I didn't need to wash them in the machine. I wanted you to get into the bathtub with them on

and bathe in them around you. That forms them to you. That's not the same thing as washing your clothes. That was a very different thing to specify. Could you, if you took them off, would they stand up straight? Sure would. Really?

Sure would forrest. Like you could have them fully stand up. Oh yeah. That's awesome. Like the wrong trousers from Wallace and Gromit. Can you do it right now? You want me to do it? You want me to get into my skivvies on the pod?

No, cause I know you're definitely wearing like the tightest underwear known to man. Yeah, not like your- Like Saran wrap. Not like the fucking whole boxers that you've got on that look like a fucking Confederate boat. It's so much more comfortable. But Francis might have like an Ethica jock strap on it.

You know, like you know if he takes those pants off, we're seeing your entire dick. They're not that tight. They're just regular briefs. What brand? Lululemon? Yeah. Yeah. We'reululemon? Yeah. Yeah.

Whatever at least seeing shaft. You're giving me a lot of Nicky Smokes credit right now. I never professed to have- No, I know the underwear. I know that underwear. It's really not that tight. Now I wanna show you that my underwear is not tight more than showing you how tight my jeans are.

There's no way you could take your pants off without us getting an idea of what your dick looks like. What is happening right now? How is this somehow? You, I don't feel like I said or did anything here. And you're getting criticized for your underwear that hit him in his imagination.

This criticism, I didn't say that my underwear was loose until you tacked me for it. And you, that all happened as a result of you bringing up my pants and asking to see if they'd stand up. I just think the podcast would go smoother if I didn't know what your dick looked like. I don't counter that part.

It's either gonna be massive or it's gonna be tiny. And I don't wanna know either of those things. What if it were right in the middle? I don't think it will be Just got an idea That is massive. Yeah, I think it's either gonna be like a nine inches flaccid. God damn, dude This is weird or it's gonna be like one will I don't like this pants off and it was just couldn't even see anything I'm uncomfortable you flamed will count this penis so hard in that clip. We were hammered Yeah, well, I thought that everyone and everyone

was I thought I like in my memory I'd always been the one who was the ringleader on and I like felt bad that I like made fun of his penis. Yeah. And then watching it back you were by far the ringleader. What was I saying? Nasty stuff. Got a tiny ass cock. You're just like yo wills got a little ass dick. Screamed it out like a middle schooler. I don't think it was just me. There was nine other people in the room. No, but you were the ringleader. He took us there. And then we were very nasty.

Was he in his underwear? Why'd you say that? He just was in his underwear. He was only doing the cross race. He took his pants off for some reason. And he had a small pecker. He took his Japanese denim off. He slid out of his Japanese denim.

It's crazy how if you just shorten the word Japanese, it becomes a slur. You get canceled right away. Well, technically no. Well, you know, yeah, it would. It would, bro. If you just said the J word denim, then suddenly I have something nasty coming for me. You should say, you should start that that would be a funny video Francis Yeah, yeah, what walk into a fucking one of your fancy stores and look you have any Jap denim

Just completely normal they'd be like what sorry come again, sir Are you know is that like a Is that like a bad one? No, no. I don't know how bad it is. I think you're allowed to say that for the sake of the joke. For the sake of the joke, yeah. Also, that has also taken on a new age meaning Jewish American princess. You ever heard that, Joe?

No, I haven't. Yes. Sort of like a corollary to a wasp. It's a bit derogatory. Interesting. Or it's bit derogatory. Interesting. I know. Or it's just negative about that. But if you ever offend a Jewish woman by calling her that, just be like, no, no, I was talking about the-

I hate the Japanese. I hated Pearl Harbor. Our opponents in 1944. Who now make the cars that SAS is suggesting that you buy. No. Those are the Koreans. You said Honda as well. True. Which is Japanese, I believe.

Honda is Japanese, I think. No, eHonda is Japanese. Kia is definitely Korean, though. What is Toyota? Japanese. Think of the name Toyota. Really? What? That's interesting. I did not know that.

Wouldn't it? Doesn't it sound, I mean multi syllables, Toyota sounds like a great pitcher for the Dodgers. The Japanese know what they're doing with the car. It sounds like someone you need to find at the top of the mountain to learn from. What about a Subaru? That's Australian. Really? Subaru Outback. Is it? Is it Australian? No, definitely not. I think Subaru is Japanese. It's gotta be. Three syllables, and ring a bell.

So Japan makes all the cars. They make a ton of cars. I mean those are like three of the biggest car brands on earth, or in America at least. What? Did you put up the two first and then pop the three? I mean those are like three of the biggest car brands on earth or in America at least. Uh huh. What? Did you put up the two first and then pop up the three? No, I put up three.

Oh, you're just playing with your ring finger. Maybe he's telling us his sign. I don't think I was playing with my ring finger at all. Who makes Nissan? It's gotta be the Japanese. They had Nippon paint. I feel like now you're just making it up. I feel like now you're giving us false info. Oh

If this isn't the pot calling the kettle black, I fact-check everything I say Person put in that I'm not a robot It's a Japanese multinational automobile manufacturer, please show but please Japanese multinational automobile manufacturer. Yes, sir. But please... Look up Subaru. That's Japanese too? Subaru. Subaru, Japanese. Uh, yep.

So what do we got that's American? Just Ford? Ford, Chevy, GM, Chrysler. But Chrysler was bought by Daimler-Benz, right? But it's still, I don't know, GM. Tesla. Jeep. Jeep. Man, I really thought Subaru would have been. Ford, Chevy, Chrysler, Jeep, GMC, Cadillac, Buick, Tesla, and Lincoln.

Yikes. All right. Japanese got us beat. They got us beat bad. So, to the Japanese. I'll be in... I don't even get those cars. I'll be in Baltimore in next weekend at the port.

That'll be a blast. March 19th to the 21st, something like that. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Small room, so I think it'll sell out. So I would get tickets now. Punchup.live. And we're doing a meetup while we're down in Baltimore. We're going to do a daytime meetup down in DC.

We're all going to go down to DC and stand outside the White House and just walk in. Little red rover. We're going to storm it. Stand on the roof of my Tesla. Yeah. Wave for your office. Hell yes.

Thanks guys. Thank you. We'll see you guys next week. Goodbye. Close was over, still, still underground. So I looked older, till you came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting For was I

So, so then you listen Now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Fetish through your eyes Did you realize No one could take me alive I was only falling one way See it just a distant light

Feel fast forever bright Call it just a distant light Be it fast, forever bright Call it just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You're alive