Son of a Boy Dad - Property Brothers - Son of a Boy Dad: Episode #117

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

Property Brothers - Son of a Boy Dad: Episode #117 -- Sas & Rone MDW record an apartment special for Gaz -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- Download the Gametime app or go to https://barstool.link/GametimeApp, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Head to https://barstool.link/FactorMealsSON50 and use code son50 to get 50% off your first box. -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All righty, welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Morning at Sassy's. Yeah. Special occasion pod, we're at Sassy's apartment. This is direct orders from Gaz.

He said this is the trick to getting big on podcasting is changing the location. It will add tens of views. So we went from our bland background to a more bland background. We literally look like we're in the fucking... We look like we're in a basement right now. This looks like a terrorist interrogation video.

Yeah. And dude, there are not to say that terrorists are middle eastern but there are middle eastern elements to this apartment namely is that a creepy hallway yeah well what's the arch what's that fucking arch about i don't know that was the one that i said i was looking down the hallway the other night and i was scared because i was like someone's down there it's just this octagonal arch. Like you're in Cappadocia. Like we're in a mountainside. But in reality, we're in a fucking nice-ass neighborhood.

A beautiful-ass neighborhood. Yeah, it is a nice neighborhood. It's fun. It's fucking nice as shit. Like your view is incredible. You're fucking, it's lush. You just moved in in the springtime. You have fucking groundstones, trees lining the streets yeah pride flag yeah there

are pride flags so many uh or flags what did you say i didn't mean to say that i uh i slurred my words yeah that was a slur bro what the fuck um dude uh but uh so i was late getting here Dude, so I was late getting here. Yeah, only an hour. Yeah, sorry for making you wait at your house. I mean, I got out of the shower and Mook was like, yo, I'm here. I was going to text you guys and say no one gets here before 11. Because I was cutting it down to 11.

What time did Mook get here? 10.40. Early as hell. Yeah, because he thought we were going to start recording at 11 yeah that's true he didn't know that we were on uh we were on flag time bad flag time you did have prosecco in hand and you also came from fucking across the country so the prosecco jersey from jersey yeah that's a big come up but i got here and you were uh i was crushing deals yeah you were nowhere close to being ready anyway so i didn't feel bad at all as i came into your little

fucking middle eastern bungalow well my accountant hit me up finally and been bad news he hasn't been contacting you because he's been crunching the numbers and it's taken a long fucking time dude he just he's been doing a long division he was like it's a lot he's like you're losing a lot of money and he was like this is it he's like this is everything that you can write off and i was like he's like you don't have like a like office supplies anything he was like what about internet and i was like well the internet is going to be i mean we did three people it's going to be like three hundred dollars because like that's not going to that's not going to change the people it's gonna be like three hundred dollars because like that's not gonna that's not gonna change the fucking it's not gonna put a dent in this fucking i mean

everything is gone everything how much are we talking i lost it it's all gone like this is the last we're gonna have to sell the couch no yeah i'm probably gonna have to we were talking about how i don't use my bedroom i'm gonna have to fucking start renting that out it's gonna have to be an Airbnb experience. Yeah. Where you cook and do stand up. Yeah. People down the hallway.

It's terrible. It's going to be turned into a bed and breakfast. Why? How did you not see this coming? I mean, I saw it coming. It'll be fine. But it's just it's he was like I said before, he he he was he seemed more upset than I was. He was like sighing.

He was like, it's a lot. He's like, you're losing a lot of money. And I and i was like yeah where'd you where'd you get this accountant it's my parents accountant damn so he's bummed out for your lineage yeah your generational wealth is going out the window you said what i don't know i should have gotten like a business manager or some shit i don't know i don't know probably No, probably not. I don't need to be losing more money. 10% to him, 10% to them. Everyone's getting 10%.

Damn, dude. Well, I treated myself to the street easy listing of this place, and you're paying a lot. No, it's not that much. What? It's pretty standard for this apartment in New York. It's actually, I would say I got a good deal. Really? Yeah.

You're paying almost as much as like me and my wife are paying. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. Not even remotely close. It's $1,000 away. There's no way. It's $1,000 away. I know where you live.

Then how did I know you have a fireplace? You have like a living room and a kitchen. Yeah, and so do you, bro. No, I don't. I have a room and I guess you could call it a kitchen if that's what you want to call it you have a bonus room you have a fireplace how would i have known you had a fireplace unless i looked at a real fireplace either you can't put if i lit a fire in that fireplace the apartment would burn down but i knew you have one because i looked it up on street easy i asked you if i should bring some

wood well maybe it went up because it's i and i also knocked it down no it said someone moved in eight weeks ago that's it must have been someone else that's clearly you right i moved in seven weeks ago oh it's so much about one week a one week rent here it said it was thirty seven hundred dollars no no i knocked it down a lot i told you that you did yeah because i was like i'm signing i'll sign today and then i it down a lot. I told you that. You did? Yeah. Because I was like, I'm signing. I'll sign today. And then I knocked down a lot of stuff. Including the broker's fee. The broker's fee.

He was like, yeah, you got to pay me $20,000. Not actually, but it was a lot. And I was like, how about 10? And he's like, best I can do is 19. And I was like, that's perfect. And then I was texting everyone. I was like, i just fucking just fucking yeah sell me this pen no it wasn't 20 obviously it was not twenty thousand dollars but

i don't know i could see exposed beams i mean you kind of have it all gold curtain rod that's that's persian there's also no way you and you're you have you see you have a guest bedroom don't you yeah but i'm in brooklyn doesn't matter i'm all the way out you're a guest dude a guest bedroom anywhere is expensive you don't know there's no way you're paying less than five thousand dollars a month no it is it definitely is and it's a bonus room there's no way it is i swear to god dude you have like you have like you live in a fucking mansion no i don't yeah you live one of those apartments where there's two apartments on one floor that's not true yeah it's not true at all it is no it's not in like and you're also like well it's brooklyn you live in the nicest area you live next to big cat no i live in neighborhood

over from you live in the nicest area of brooklyn it's not like oh well it's brooklyn doesn't matter where it is it's like bed stuff no it's not you know where biggie lives yeah no it's like the marcy project basically no it's it's seriously. You know where Biggie lives? Yeah. No. It's like the Marcy Projects, basically. No, it's seriously less than $5,000. And I'm not fibbing to you. Aren't you moving? I am to somewhere much more expensive. Yeah, exactly.

I'm going through the same financial shit you're going through, dude. Dude, they were like, he was like, for a lot of these tax returns, it's like over 50% of what I made on the road. Are you serious? Yeah. I'm eating this myself. I was just shocked at 50% of everything you make on the road. How is that possible? I thought you're going to Texas like five times a year.

I thought that you didn't get taxed on those shows. I mean, I did 16 weekends, I think. Well, I got some on your couch. Well, you better clean it. We'll pause the episode right now and we'll get you scrubbing. This is powder. This is a powdered donut.

This probably is not going to help. This is a fucking Amazon couch, dude. You better not fuck this shit up. How much was it? I need to know all your... 30,000. If we're going to have this podcast together we're gonna need to be honest with each other about everything well we'll be honest once the episode ends because i'm gonna

be asking you for money after this episode ends we're like yo dude things are looking tight for taxes i still never got paid in that live show i haven't gotten paid either well what the fuck let's crack down on those people i'm gonna have to hit i'm gonna be like yo dude i need about 600k is that cool mind if i just hold a quick half a mil dude i wish i had that i don't have that yeah you do in fucking cash what the fuck are you talking about dude tyler was telling us right before this he was saying that the you guys have been having meetings about the pat bev show and they said that if you guys made four million dollars in one year it wouldn't even cover half of your contract. It wouldn't be close to enough.

They said we need a Cartier sponsorship. Yeah. They said we need Louis Vuitton as a sponsor to be able to break even. No wonder you're doing those ad reads all enthusiastic. Come on down to the Pat Ben pod. Yeah. Yeah, it's significantly more lucrative than this podcast look around why do you have your

bedroom in here because i don't okay so i don't have a bed frame for starters so i need to buy a bed frame which i'm gonna do probably today maybe not actually maybe i'll stay away from the bed frame for a little bit after that phone call. And then my bedroom's filled with boxes. Why? Because I don't feel like breaking down the boxes. What the hell? That takes like 10 minutes. It's 10 minutes too long.

It's 10 minutes. I could be fighting. We could be breaking down the boxes right now. Should we break down the boxes now? Are they just empty boxes? They're big boxes. What the hell is wrong with you? You just put your fucking bed in your living room, your TV on your fireplace, your gaming

TV on this folding chair. That's a perfect place for the TV. No, it's not. Where else would I have put it? The TV's too high. I have a major problem with TVs on top of fireplaces. You like your TV to be like down on the ground? I like it to be at my eye level.

That's a perfect spot for a TV. At eye level. So you have to crane your neck back to look at it. No, because when I watch TV, I sit like this. Well, you're still looking up. Even if you went down like that, your eye level would be ahead. No, that's the perfect position to watch TV. No, it's not.

What science are you basing this on? Where the best place for the TV and the only place for the TV is, is the only place I could have put the TV. That's not true at all. Do you want me to put it on top of it, like on the fireplace? Like in the fireplace? I could re-feng shui this apartment in fucking 10 seconds flat. Yeah, I'm sure you could, but I mean

what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna move the bed into the bedroom and then I'm gonna move the desk there and then I'm probably gonna get like an ottoman, perhaps? I should have brought a housewarming gift. What do you need? Nothing. You just said you're gonna ask for $600,000.

Well, I need money is what I need. I don't need it. The last thing I need is more shit. But you said you're about to buy an Ottoman. Why don't I just buy the Ottoman for you? Sure. Yeah. Buy like three Ottomans if you're offering it.

Like an Ottoman Empire. And resell them. I'm down, bro. I'm not scared. The thing is, I don't like it. This is more than enough. Like I'm here alone. I don't know. There's no, I get out of bed, play is more than enough. I'm here alone.

I get out of bed, play video games right there, and this is the ultimate man cave setup because I play video games and I put on the game up there. I'm walking a two TV setup. What do you mean? The Celtics game? Yeah. I put on the Lakers game right there two nights ago and then I play video games right there.

It's phenomenal. That's fucking crazy. Is that the angle that your gaming TV is at? No, it's usually more flat. Okay. I like it. I've had this experience before where like I get into a new place and I just want people, I want to invite people over like right away to like see it, you know, before.

I've been here for two months. I know. It was the first people to see it. That's what I'm saying. Like you want, like, but it's not, it you know before for two months i know he's the first people to see it that's what i'm saying like you want like but it's not it's not ready for us to see you're excited you want to get us over here you gotta have art too you're saying you're gonna bring art i have art look at there's art right there gabe davis signed signed photo it says welcome here oh can you hand me that gabe davis i mean this is a collector's item to harry why is there so many stains now a part of now a part of the mafia go bills it's because it's it's been under my bed and i've been also

i've been coming on it yeah i tell. The room stunk like fucking... But I mean, this is a collector's item. We'll put this in between us. Yeah, we need to put this... This is going to be the future podcast set. Once they divvy up all the old podcast studios. This is all I'm going to have on my wall. This tiny ass photo.

And we're just going to have this right here. And then I got Dylan right there. grier got me that for my birthday bob dylan yeah oh you don't have to hand me the album it's just a record that one actually you can hand me that one that one's fucking awesome i dropped some big money for that you know it's so easy to hang something on your wall it takes like literally uh one minute this is dylan. Watercolor. Original. Holy shit, bro. You're artsy as hell. This is sick. Are these your two pieces? I showed this to Josh Adam Myers, who's a comedian. He has this deep

ass voice and he's like, bro, I would fucking love to just take mushrooms and just stare at that thing. Bro, honestly, that's what it's designed for. He was like, holy shit, bro. i could stare at that thing all fucking day that's exactly how he sounds too he came over here no i showed him a picture of it we were talking art and i said check out this art check out this dylan shit he's a big music guy too so i was like oh you like you fuck with music let me show you my fucking blowing in the wind that's

definitely how the artist intended that to be perceived like uh for someone who's tripping their balls i came up on my instagram explorer page like two years ago there's good shit on the instagram explore page i got another thing coming too i got this like a wooden a wooden painting i guess i don't know it's like some dude like chisels away at wood and it's norm mcdonald's on uh chisels away at wood and it's norm mcdonald's on uh weekend update it's a cool ass piece but it's been ordered for eight weeks now and it still has not arrived fuck bro you just got i looked at the dude's instagram and he was like he was like i had one post to go viral and i'm like years behind on on supply on on sending this shit out he just has to chisel wood for the next

fucking century and then like a million people bought shit because he has a ton of them he's got like eagle stuff he's got always sunny i think he's a philly guy he must be a philly guy because it's a lot of philly stuff and then um and he's like i'm not he's like i don't have the money or i don't have like the time to do i don't care that much yeah but he said it's i mean he said it was a four to six week thing and it's been seven you're fucked it's not coming ever it's supposed to come to the office like 100 bucks 150 that's not it's not bad to get stolen i mean you're supporting an artist if you're just gonna rob you like that supporting the art this guy tried to sell me a print and i said fuck, fuck that. I said, give me the real thing. This is real watercolor. No, it's not.

Yes, it is. No, it's not. If I took it out of the thing, it's real. You can feel like the texture. How much was it? It was like $250. You're definitely going to have to sell that. This is, I bought in two pieces of art over the last four years. The repo guy is going to come in here and fucking seize your ass. He's going to be like, I'm a big Dylan fan

myself. I'm just going to take this one this one for fun yeah i'll say it wasn't reported yeah i got absolutely demolished by a tiktok ad yesterday it was like hey big boy tired of like having to suck in your gut when you put on a new t-shirt damn it was like t-shirts for fat men yeah dude have you been getting the soda have you guys been getting the soda ads that hat brand and dan soda is like like one of the guys they're like they're like ever wondered how these celebrities with massive heads fit in these nice hats and it's just dan soda no the whole ad is just dan soda the whole time and it looks like it looks like it's just a video that they just ripped off his Instagram.

His agent's like, hey, we have some work for you, Dan. It's funny as hell. Just need some still photos of you in a hat. Yeah. Looking like a fucking hot air balloon. Does Soder have a big head? Oh, yeah.

It's grotesque. No, not grotesque. It's perfect. He's got a perfect head. Well, he's got a big brain, bro. I'm coming for the big head oh yeah it's grotesque no not grotesque it's perfect he's got a perfect head well he's got a big brain bro i'm coming for the big brain massive brain i got a i got a nice head petite that was nice i have a petite head yeah it's because since you got that new haircut the tiniest little head people are going crazy over the hair no one is going crazy over there what are you talking about everyone people were shitting on my fit big time yesterday. I thought it was a good fit. It was extremely good. Everyone was like, well, you look like you're fucking

Tommy said I looked like I was dressed up for school picture day. I was like, why? Because I'm wearing a collared shirt. It wasn't even like a button up shirt. It was literally just a shirt with a collar. It looked cold. It was like a rugby shirt. It was cold as hell. You look like a fucking proper ass lad. I will say it was an outrageous fit for it being 80 degrees outside.

But when you're self-conscious, you gotta do crazy things. Wearing a long sleeve with a jacket. You gotta do crazy things. Mook came down and answered the door in a quarter zip today. Like, Mook, I feel you, brother. But at least he's wearing shorts. I can't even wear shorts. Why?

Because, dude, it's like my body is fucking insane. My body is outrageous. It's not true. Your legs are nice, bro. I look in the mirror and I'm like, this doesn't even make sense. No, your legs are nice. It doesn't even make sense that my legs can support the rest of my body. Knee to calf, you're good.

And you, what, you think your legs are too skinny? So skinny. And then it just, dude, literally it's like straight and then it goes out. Like my body widens at the top. No, no, the camera's on like the yak, dude. Your legs look beefy as hell. No. I'm looking up the barrel of your shits.

They look like two ham hocks. Yeah. They look like... Like hairy upper thighs. I didn't know that. Now you do. They just look... They look thick, bro.

They look fat, bro. They are fat. Yeah, so that's why I don't think you should matter. You're proportionately fat. No. Not even close. No. It's all hips. why i don't think you should matter you're proportionately fat no not even close no it's all hips hips don't lie yeah do you ever smoke those things on don't what are they biggest waste of money of my entire life it's just it's like it's this thing called ripple it's actually the mango one's not bad focus i believe I believe, is the flavor. And I mean, what is that one called?

Mango? No, it's Focus. Mango Focus. Come on now. Let's not be silly. It's 0% nicotine because John Rich was telling me that he quit nicotine and he said that it was all, he said that he got a 0% vape and he said it was all just, he was like, I think it's just oral fixation that I'm addicted to he's like because i haven't noticed any withdrawals from the

actual nicotine so i'm my plan is to start using this shit but how is focus the flavor not like even the side effect or like intended i think it's like the intended feeling that you'll get from it this is the only one that's good what is is that one? Yeah. What is that? What's the flavor of that one? Oh, I've never had that. The Dream. There's one that's like sleep. What are they? Explain what they are.

There's one that's like sleep and it's like dream. And that one, it just tastes like you're smoking like lavender. It's terrible. I love lavender. Yeah, not when you're inhaling it. Lavender, sage, and I'm trying to think of what other naturally occurring scents that I fucking adore.

I don't know. You probably can't even think of any. No, I can't. Natural scents that you adore? Fucking idiot. I don't know what your fucking your palate, brother. I didn't memorize your palate. This looks like a good donut, though.

It's so good. I already have one. Glazed. Hell no. I might have to save a couple, though. How long do donuts last? Do I want to be storing those away? I got to go to the store to hand buy just a bunch of beans. Cans.

What is that? That cowpoke song where he's like, I'm going. He's like, he says something about going back to pork and beans. Something like that. He's like, no more steaks going back to beans. I don't know what it is. That's me, though. That's all you need. No more steaks, just beans.

You need to eat like red beans and rice like a Puerto Rican. Yeah. Do we have a HelloFresh ad today? Well, regardless, regardless, I got HelloFresh ad today? Well, regardless, I got HelloFresh, so I'm hoping that that saves me. It should save me some money. I got like 16. I used our code. It's 16 free meals.

And I only got 8 because I was like, I don't need 16 meals. The hell am I going to do with 16 meals? You're going to eat, bro. The repo men are going to take your meals. And also, every meal is for two people so i have 16 meals already but i could get 30 32 meals i don't need 32 meals i don't need 32 fucking meals have you seen the fridge the fridge is the worst part of this place

doesn't even get cold the layout is so preposterous the way even coming down the hallway to like the two ends i really feel like i'm in like a cave hotel in hungary yeah it's a little it's funky it's weird but i like it i like to get like i'm like kate like i need a nice wacky place yeah you need something wacky like a stairway to nowhere yeah a trap door i will say that light pisses me off a lot the switch being right there because i have to get up out of bed to turn the light off well your bed shouldn't be there we'll have a guy coming and handle that your bed your bed shouldn't be in here these dudes see these guys and they're all these business guys they stand outside of my apartment all day and they're just like it's like that eric andre skit where he's in wall street

and he's just like well then buy it we'll sell it then that's what they do all do they date the dude stood outside of my apartment the other day for literally two hours just yelling on the phone about ai i feel like that's like a job out here. Just be seen talking about AI. It's all it is. I bike past a tech startup where it's in a garage. So they open up the fucking... Which is, it does not have to be in a garage. It doesn't at all. They're doing that because Steve Jobs and fucking Amazon. They're like, well, they started in the garage.

It's like a trendy garage too. It's like a cool ass garage with fucking Wi-fi and self-watering plants and shit but it's just like these tech dudes that just need to be seen yeah doing this shit like they just need to be out in the public like living their fucking main character best life it's kind of sweet i respect it i respect it too it's good people watching tell the story of what happened oh yeah yeah yeah so yesterday i'm playing video games and i and i always talk about how like people will come and they'll go over to that the stairs across the street photogenic ass stairs yeah sterls will sit on the stairs and like take pictures for like 10 minutes and i and

i send pictures to my friends and i'm like look how insane this is and then yesterday look how rich i am no it's people want to take pictures outside my apartment no not outside of my apartment the people next to me it's outside your apartment what are you talking about like a street across your view that's a different neighborhood but that's your view this is like my neighbor this is like your neighborhood and that's big cat's neighborhood that's your view though you look at it and uh yeah so yesterday i'm sitting i'm playing video games and i'm talking to my buddies and I'm like, dude, there's people outside of my apartment right now filming TikToks

and they have the camera mounted on the staircase. So I recorded it to send it to them, as I do. Gross. I sat in my chair and I zoomed in and I recorded it and I was like, this is hilarious. And I sent it to them and they were like, that's fucking insane. And then I was like, oh shit, they're both recording

now because the first time the girl was recording the dude so i'm like oh and now they're both going at it and they've got the camera mounted so i stand up and i for some reason i don't know what the fuck i was thinking there's a massive window right here and i go and i stand next to the window i'm at the window recording them you could see everything from the street everything Everything. And I go, and I'm seven seconds in, and the dude just turns and makes direct eye contact with the camera. I think I have audio of me being like, yo. I'm like, they just fucking saw me.

Let me, I'll play it. And then they come up to the window. Because it's street level because they're eye to eye with you I just saw Owen oh really shit they fully just saw

oh shit they fully just saw me oh shit they fully just saw me but in this one Shit, they fully just saw me. Oh, shit, they fully just saw me. But in this one, I can send this to you guys. Actually, we definitely cannot put this in. But look at this.

Look at that, dude. He's making direct eye contact with the camera. Oh my god, dude. He was in the middle of a sassy ass dance. Look at that. just staring into the lens it looks like you caught bigfoot it looks like you caught a sasquatch they and then they i instantly i go back to sitting down and i'm like dude they saw it they saw me and then i'm like they're right outside my apartment they're outside my apartment waving to me and i'm like i gotta and

and i got like i gotta say something so i open the window and i'm like what and they're outside my apartment waving to me and i'm like i gotta and i got like i gotta say something so i open the window and i'm like what and they're like were you just recording us and i was like what the fuck are you guys talking about i was like no i wasn't just recording you and then uh and then it lasted for like 10 minutes they kept on coming back and then i realized that they were just straight up kids yeah i thought they were, like in their twenties, they were like 17 at most. That's so crazy. And they were like, can you buy us Taylor Swift tickets? And I was like,

no. Like we see where you live. No. You should have did it. I was like, no, I can't buy you fucking Taylor Swift tickets. Just to get them off your back.

But they kept coming up and I would go out with my big ass gaming headset on and they'd be like, are you a gamer? And I'll be like, I'm busy. They were like like, are you a gamer? And I'll be like, I'm busy. They were like,

what are you? I was like, I was like, guys, I can't talk anymore. I'm like, I'm in the middle of doing something. I'm like,

what are you playing? Call of duty. And I was like, no, no, I'm not playing call of duty. You fucking kids. Fucking idiot.

And if I was, you wouldn't get it. You don't know how many men died in vietnam in the vietnam war for nothing i'm studying right now dude you became old so fast it was so embarrassing i spent the least time as someone young i was mortified you're the old man you're literally an old pervert to them i'm worried that that there's going to be a video that surfaces of me hanging out my window being like get the hell out of here i'm busy

that just passed the pizza through the window just hand it up through the window i don't want to go downstairs leave it on the ledge there's twenty dollars on the ledge. There's $20 on the ledge. It's like a video. It was literally, I'm in pajama pants and this sweatshirt and it's like 3 p.m. And I'm just hanging out the window with this big ass headset on. What? I wasn't filming you. No, I wasn't.

Why would I be filming you? I'm not a fucking pervert. Well, then just buy us Taylor Swift tickets if you're not a pervert. I'm busy. It was mortifying, dude. Damn. High school kids do have the fucking juice. I was so nervous. I'm actually surprised that I even opened the window because i was like eventually i got that big ass headphones on they see the headphones

i could just pretend that i don't see them but then they got i was worried that someone was just gonna sail a brick through the window because then i was thinking about i was like dude well how has that not happened how has no one just launched a brick through this window if i was a homeless dude i'd be all over this street just launching bricks through windows they're so so breakable i know and you got six and they're like big only like they're hittable though only the big one opens i don't think that matters for a brick no i think a brick is breaking that bitch regardless of it opens or not that's so crazy you can really see everything if like during like some blm shit they would have had a field day oh yeah they would have been doing target practice yeah we've been like charlemagne i know if ever that charlemagne video

where he's talking to post malone he's like this was like before like any of that big shit happened he was like what are you doing for the black lives matter movement and post malone was there like promoting his album it's like i don't know i'm saucing on you yeah i guess i've been saucing a lot lately i don't know i don't know i'm bawling on you did you see that he uh put out or he had a lyric that he he's like i drank 30 high noons or something like that no i didn't see that that's promo for the pirate ship that we could get man that's huge i thought he was like sober now or like i guess he doesn't do drugs anymore and he quit smoking uh i don't know if you've seen him recently but i think he's on all the drugs yeah

but that's what everyone says and they've been saying that i mean dude he's covered in tattoos he's always gonna look like that but he yeah and he's also dude he's like i don't know i don't i like people have been saying that since he was famous everywhere there's always posts that are like we need to check on post malone we cannot lose post and it's like dude it's weirder for you guys to be like suggesting that he's about to die yeah and then it's like dude it's weirder for you guys to be like suggesting that he's about to die yeah and then he's like dude what are you guys like i'm totally fine i have had boys though that said that they're not on drugs and they are yeah just because someone's like oh i'm actually sober right now but i think it made dude he lost a shit ton of weight like i

think that's also the thing everyone's that's what drugs do no but everyone's like he's so skinny now but it's like yeah dude he also used to be very fat and then he stopped drinking and he lost a shit ton of weight like i think that's also the thing everyone's that's what drugs do no but everyone's like he's so skinny now but it's like yeah dude he also used to be very fat and then he stopped drinking and he lost a shit ton of weight that's completely normal him and jonah hill jonah hill yeah he's on something you think dude he's i think or just do you think when you're that big and you lose all that weight you get you become like addicted to losing weight and then you just go as far as you possibly can that makes sense because he's lost uh in like i mean he's a twig now but he also has every resource yeah it's true to him you know what i mean if you want and ozempic literally is steroids for losing weight like

it's like a miracle drug yeah i gotta get on that shit do you think i could even get it i think you could but i think everyone can get it. I think it's extremely expensive. I think it costs like half as much as this apartment costs. Yeah, I'd have to run that by the accountant. Yeah. They'd be like, no. You could have the apartment or the Ozempic. Yeah.

Your call. Career investment. It is a career investment. I could write it off, yeah. I was struggling to perform on stage because I was so goddamn fat. I was running out of breath. Whee perform on stage because i was so goddamn fat i was running out of breath wheezing on stage yeah sitting down people think you're sweating because of anxiety but it's really because you're burning so many calories by staying on sedentary on your feet

or still on your feet i sweat on stage like so much it's absurd that's the point that i'm actually like i think this is good for me like i think i think this is like healthy you count it as a workout yeah on uh viva la bam bam margera's dad what the hell is viva la bam bam margera show on mtv i don't know it you don't know who bam margera is no well you don't even have to yeah it's crazy bro no culture i don't know you're uncultured bro perhaps uh but his dad used to like drive a riding mower and he he'd like come in and tell his wife that it was like a workout because he had to like steer the wheel yeah you have to steer the wheel right and left you ever been on a driving mower i've never

been on one no because i was a push guy yeah yeah i mean i never had enough acreage i never had enough land well i was a landscaper for a while four guys one job i had a landscaping business as well but uh it still didn't necessitate you guys weren't cutting lawns i was cutting that's like that's like a staple in landscaping i cut lawns on my neighborhood you do i had my own lawnmower seek out the biggest lawn so we go we're gonna have fun with this one and you do it by push yeah so what's different than that than what i'm doing sounds like you've never been through the fucking dirt bro dude i had a up my angle was like a fucking black diamond i did that too i was up and down a hill i was going straight up

as scary as going down is because you're gonna lose it yeah like you're losing it the whole time you never have it that's how you get going the fastest though i tell you about when i when i did that and uh and i got poison ivy really bad all over my body because we were i i was convinced that i wasn't allergic to poison ivy last year no this was seven years ago probably remember last year when you had poison ivy all over your body for a whole year well that was no that was um pteriasis rosacea and uh it's all the same to me i i wake up every morning and i look at my entire body i'm like it's coming back really it was a night i have scars on my arms like i have like white spots all over my arms from it that's not a scar though no it is it probably looks cute no it probably looks like fucking little leopard spots dude it was so god

damn bad and everyone i'll pull up the picture if i have i know i don't know it's on my old phone pull it up but no one believes how bad i showed you the pictures no one believes how bad it was everyone's like oh he has a rash no dude it was my entire body like not there was not a millimeter of space without a bump damn all righty let's talk about factor factor during the prime spring season you need wholesome convenient meals to energize you for warmer more active days that keep you on track of reaching your goals me i use factor because i want to stay on track and I want to reach my goals. They offer delicious flavor-packed options on the menu each week to fit a variety of lifestyles from keto, calorie smart, vegan, veggie, and protein plus.

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Back to the show. I was like a fucking crocodile. It's hard enough to find love as it is. Yeah. Looking like that. Fucking insane. That put you back inside inside that put you under your your frumpy clothes that got you out of the gym got me out of the gym i that was that was it

happened because i got back into running and then i went on three runs and i woke up and i was like whoa what is this so the fact that you had uh poison ivy and pitoriasis rosacea makes me think that you have little soft-ass big skin. Well, everyone gets poison ivy. Me? And that's what you think. I've never had. Until you're in the fucking shit and you're cutting down poison ivy. You're cutting down poison ivy vines with a machete.

And I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not. I was like, the dude was like, are you allergic to poison ivy? He's like, is any of you guys not allergic? And I was like, no, I'm not. And, or I, yeah, no, I'm not. And, uh, or I, yeah, no,

I'm not allergic. And so I went out there, he's like going to my room, grab my machete and start hacking at this, uh, at this poison ivy. And I did it, got all the poison ivy out of there.

He was like, when you get home, take a cold shower. Cause he goes, even if you're not allergic like this will get you. And I was like, all right, absolutely did not do that damn bro we would do it early in the morning and we were in high school so then we

would just go hang out the rest of the day and that man's name was andrew huberman and that man's name was andrew huberman the original cold shower you refused then and dude it's been haunting you ever to this day yeah and i got poison ivy everywhere all over my dick damn you got pictures no i did have it on my face i got poison sumac on my face well you have a fucking susceptible ass body to these skin diseases dude i was rolling around in poison ivy vines why would you do that because it was part of the job dude people like to question my work ethic if dave told me i had to go out right now and roll around and poison ivy vines i would have been brother i already did it it's already been done job's finished my firefighter buddy told me about this firefighter that uh he went into a fire and uh they had basically gotten like they

they had completely contained the fire and he wanted to be able to prove that he was in the fire he wanted his uniform to be dirty so he literally got on the floor of the fire and rolled around that's insane and because he rolled around like the fire like got back out of control and burned down eight houses. Are you allowed to be saying this? Are we going to have to cut this? It was years ago, but it's just like... Yeah, I'm sure the families have not recovered from that. I don't know.

It was like last year, dude. This is fine. It was people living in tents. Damn, I lost my entire home because that dude wanted to make it look like he actually did his job that day. Yeah, he wanted to get a a little smut he wanted to get a little smut on his bucket fire fire of it rolling around on the ground in the middle of a fire to get valor and then making it fucking that much worse burning down everything that's nuts What a piece of shit. Did he get in trouble? That was definitely you at the landscaping job.

You're like, Harry, why have you done shit today? It was 100% me. What do you mean? Yeah. No, I was... Look! I was like...

The thing is, I became the boss. I was the boss. I set up the whole thing. I set up the operation. I was recruiting dudes for the team. Because I'd be like, I don't want to work today. Let me get another guy in the mix. And then throw me that 10%. I was recruiting dudes for the, for the team. Cause I'd be like, Oh, I don't want to work today. Let me get another guy in the mix and then chop, throw me that 10%. I was a young, like I was a, I had a millionaire mindset at a young age. And yeah,

I would be like, I would be laying in bed 10 years old, however old I was 13 and I'll be recruiting people from bed on Snapchat. I'd go, how do you, how does it sound? You want to make a little money today? And they'd be like, yeah. And I'd be like, alright. We're one of the four guys today. Because the thing is, even if we only needed two people, we would send four. That was the whole part of our thing.

Four guys. It was always four guys. Had to be. Because that's the name of the company. They would request. We'd be like, we only need two people for this job. And I'd be like, how does two for free sound? You pay two, you get two for free. Because we're getting four. It's going to be a four-man operation no matter what. The worst job I ever did was we just went to some place and she was like, I just need you guys to move these cinder blocks.

And we showed up and it was like 20,000 cinder blocks. And I tore a tendon in my arm doing it. Oh, you showed me the picture of that torn tendon. Yeah, of that big-ass bump on my arm. Here's the thing, though, dude. I've heard you talk on the phone as an adult, and it's nowhere near as commanding as you say you were when you were a 10-year-old. I was running shit as a 10-year-old. With your, like, unpuberty voice.

Wow, I was talking to my accountant because the thing was he seemed mad. My accountant. Yeah. He's probably been listening to the pod. He probably knows I'm talking shit.

You think he actually listens to the pod? Absolutely not. Yeah. There's no chance. Why would he be listening to the podcast? My family members

don't even listen to the pod. Bro, pop that next bottle of champagne. Oh, I'm all set. No, pop it for me. I'll get you right. Well, don't spill this shit. Because I just got the floors redone.

This whole thing. Last thing I need is to get the boys back in here. I just want to hear the pop. Come do it on camera. Sit next to us while you do it. Sit in the middle here. I need to see this pop. shit's aimed right at your head aim it aim it at the screens no do not break both screens the tvs are actually i mean those are those tvs combined are like 150 tvs are they just

giving them away now oh yeah they're cheap as You should. I'm so happy I went with the 50 inch instead of the 65. I think the 65 would have taken up the entire room. It would have been on the whole wall. You'd be able to see it down the block. See, he's doing it. He's doing it suddenly. See how he did it? See, that brings me back to Vietnam and it's a whole thing.

And now I'm tense. Thinking about all those good men that we lost. Wow. Jesus Christ. I, uh, get me some some Prosecco. It's Italian champagne.

It is? I think so. I don't know. It sounds Italian. Prosecco? Prosecco. Yeah. It does sound Italian.

Dude, I fucking went to, uh, I was late because I just booked this trip to Africa. Yeah. 45 days. Yeah. 45 days. Yeah. That's soon. Yeah.

It's right around the corner. Are you going to be here for the end of the act? Yeah. I forgot. So I'm like working my whole schedule around that. Canceling dates, moving dates. I'm going to be gone. Just kidding.

I have not done a single thing. No. I know you have. Got to look on a pretty light summer coming up. Same, dude. I just found out I have a light fall coming up. Oh, shit. Really? I don't have any football up. Oh, shit. Really?

I don't have any football shit going on this fall. Really? The gambling competition got moved to a basketball competition. Damn. So now I have a mall fall. That's crazy because betting on basketball blows. I am 0 for 4. Cut this. Why?

We really don't have to cut it. It's all opinion based. I love betting on basketball. I feel like I'm a genius at it. I'm a genius at it in the Celtics one. I think I'm the fucking problem. Yeah, I'm not going to bet anymore. So I bet I had an eight-leg parlay and everything hit and then the Lakers lost. Dude, but I'm going to...

So I'm booking this trip to Africa. I have it. I booked it. I paid probably about half of what you owe in taxes to it a lot of fucking money dude an unfathomable amount of money how much a lot tell us how much so we can get an idea you like to come in here and talk a lot of shit be like yeah dude my apartment's less expensive how much you drop on this vacation is it like 50 000 no no no no not that not even not even i wish it was 50k i wish i genuinely do but uh you have equity did you get pen stock did you

get a payout dude i know how much you're paying for this place all that shit went out the window i fucking looked at the street easy shit yesterday and i was like what the fuck i felt like i've been you got you got a fucking payout i i felt like i've been being lied to this whole time this whole time sass is like i'm so poor i can't i can't afford this and that i had to pay for my boys in iceland meanwhile i walk into this palatial state in the most desirable neighborhood told me to pay more francis told me to pay four4,000 a month. Yeah, and you're like, no. Gotta be one of the nicest box. It's right by everything.

It's actually not by anything. Or I like... I mean, I guess my... Our old apartment was just like right at the train. But now I'm a 30-minute walk to the stand and I used to be like

a 15 minute walk right by the cellar though where i don't work yeah but you're about to be no i'm not yeah you are no one's gonna recommend me no your guy no one will recommend me he pops in the door like yeah my fucking uh i can recommend you but so I have to go to Africa and I just got a call back from the travel agent and they said your passport expires in December

you need to get a new passport even though I'm going in fucking July that makes no sense it doesn't make any sense at all you'll be able to get a new passport by then it takes like two weeks and you can get it what expedited but it sounds like a fucking headache dude and also why doesn't it expire when it expires yeah it is six months

before it's expired it's expired any sense what the fuck does that mean makes no sense oh you're 18 and a half like actually you're gonna have to be 18 when i when i turned 21 when i was in denver i had to i wanted to buy alcohol and i went in with my uh vertical id and they were like yeah no we can't take this and i'm like but i'm 21 and it's a real id yeah and they're like sorry man no you can't buy alcohol like that so what's the rule what is the rule then yeah if it's not 21 yeah i'm 21 it's my birthday my birthday what do you think i got a fake id with today's date on it like i planned on it i was like i'm gonna go and get a fake id and it's gonna be my birthday on the fake id the fucking date should be the date yeah the expiration date should be the day yeah i'm not just scan it if you don't

think it's real it's a real id i know yeah i don't know i i kind of want to just in protest not do anything about it just get to the airport definitely don't do that get to the airport and get denied just we have no control over these rules they suck but i would not do that yeah like the the local african consulate or something like that i'm sure they'll fuck your shit up i'm sure they'll be really fucking welcoming yeah damn dude did you know that the fucking white people did some bad stuff in south africa the whites yeah i was reading i was just i thought the whites were all well south africa is a really dangerous place isn't it they're they're like uh they they rob a lot i think that might be a bit of them or i mean i think there's some dangerous parts of it but i

think that's a misconception i think that's kind of like how people are like dude you can't go to chicago yeah you're gonna die if you go to chicago which is insane hey guys can i take a second to talk to you about game time game time game time is the exclusive ticketing partner of barstool sports it was created by fans and it was created for fans. It's a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last minute tickets, send deals on sports, concerts, shows, anything you want to do.

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Go to 3chi.com and use code BOYDAD15 for 15% off your next order. All righty. Gabe Davis, man. Shit got out of hand for a second. Rome was saying bad things. Bad things. Yep. I would take the bullet for what you just said.

That wasn't even me saying anything bad. It was just me being dumb and thinking I was saying the right thing and saying the complete worst thing. Accidental racism was what just happened there. Bro, darts is coming up dude career is on my ass he on your guys ass about darts every day every day he's like dude so when you get there like you'll be able to sit with us we have a different seat but it's the same seat and then he checked my touring schedule and was like so it looks like you're not going to be here for darts. Do you want me to sell your ticket? Dude, I don't even know what this is. I don't even remember

agreeing to doing darts. I remember agreeing. I mean, dude, he's probably stressing out because he probably dropped $5,000 on darts. Well, did you pay him for tickets yet? What? Did you pay him? Yeah. so then why is he bugging i

don't know oh okay well someone can just have my ticket yeah but i'm not i don't need to be like selling my darts ticket on a third party app i don't think anyone's i can't imagine darts is selling out it might be there's probably cheaper tickets he hit me up a while ago he's like do you and your wife want to go and i i told her last night that you're like we have tickets to darts and she's like who am i going to talk to it looks fucking awesome i'm actually kind of bummed that i'm not going to be here i like show her the video of like max walking down the streets like who am i going to hang out with yeah i think i'll bring my boy mike i'm gonna be in

ontario california i got some dude hit me up asking me if i wanted to do a show at the uh the comedy store but i'm there and i can't do it which is sucks but also just send your four boys from landscaping also a blessing that i'm not doing it because the lineup is insane who is it would have bombed harder it was it's burt kreischer jay pharaoh neil brennan lisa trager and steve fury and g jesus jesus jesus trio i would have bombed my imagine me following burt hey what's up guys how you guys doing i'm gonna keep the shirt on for this one or i tell you i take my shirt off too that would be hilarious you're like they'd be like yo put that what the fuck not be arrested. Not cool, man. For public nudity. Jesus. Some young woman just took off her shirt.

Some prepubescent teen just took his shirt off. Some teen girl's in here without her shirt on. Showing off all the parents. Would have been cool to do the store, though. Who hit you up? KFC. Apparently, he just had Steve Fury on, and he was like, he wants to have you on a show when you're out there. What the fuck?

Yeah. Damn, you're lit. Well, I can't do it. Did you get just for laughs? That till you don't find out about that for a while. I actually don't think you even find out until like the week before you go. So you should be preparing as if you got it.

No. Yeah, you should. No. Yeah, you should. No. Yes, you should. You're gonna get it, dude. It's gonna be fucking sick. Let's go up and do a vlog for it. What? Socks don't match? Oh, no.

Clothes are tight around here. I got my Korea vet shirt on. Yeah? There was a controversy when i wore that last time people were pissed why they're saying it was stolen valor maybe the korean vet shouldn't be selling their shit at thrift stores then that's how i got the shirt he thought he sold his own shit yeah true like a fucking 80 year old korean War vet coming up to you being like, where did you serve? I know. Where'd you do your basic training?

That's a fucking awesome shirt. Some guy checking you. Is Korea, is the Korean War the Forgotten War? I forget about it often. Yeah, I think it's the Forgotten War, right? That's what they call it. When was it? I think between World War II and the Vietnam War. Yeah. 50s.

Who are we fighting against? South or North? I think South. Were they South? Yeah. We fuck with the South heavy now, right? But we have to. Because the North, they're trouble.

They're troublemakers over there. But the South, as we learned earlier, has all the culture. They got all the pop stars really of all of asia not just of the koreas of all of asia well that's interesting i didn't know that yeah i mean they're not i don't think they're even allowed to have pop culture in north korea they're not it's just like the the gracious leader giving speeches dude he just does whatever the fuck he wants he literally he has his own empire imagine if you could go to the kim jong-un golf matches where he's scoring 18 holes and ones and like

the crowd's going nuts like the fucking waste management open people just going nuts yeah they love him watching it well at least they have they're forced to love him i doubt they actually like him you like him uh definitely not huh yeah yeah they don't if they like want to have like a good life they probably love him they also i mean i guess they don't really know any other that's how they always lived like yeah we just got this one dude who just controls everything we do that girl yomi you know yomi park yamoni park what's her name yeah park who went on rogan and then uh went on andrew schultz's show oh yeah how was that uh it looked good i saw some clips from it it looked super interesting but then like i've seen scores of people online being like this she's fucking lying and when andrew schultz was in our office i was like what was good with her when she came on the show?

Like, why does everyone say she's like lying all the time? He was like, probably because she's lying all the time. That's nuts. I was like, why? And he was like, it's probably a thing where she like, takes all the crazy stories that she hears and tells them in the first person to try and really illustrate the depths of it out there. But there are people who are online, and I don't even know whose side they're on. North Korea's side?

Who are like, she's fucking lying. Who are they working for? I don't know. But that is hilarious. Kim Jong-un? Who are they working for? I don't know, but that is hilarious. Like, because there's a, there's a, there's a clip I saw of this comedian who has a bit and he's like, uh, he's like an African dude.

And he's like, he's like, when I grew up in Africa, we would, uh, we, we, we would, we would take the youngest zebra and we would all, we would, we would tear the skin off and we'd wear it as his shelter. It was something like that. Something with a zebra. And then he's like, and it's funny because I've realized that if you say anything about africa america's americans will believe every single word of it he's like none of that happened and the whole crowd the entire time he's telling their story they're like tearing up and shit and he's like all of that was a lie that's so fucking hilarious he did the same thing

he was like he would be like in press conferences he'd be like we used to hunt lions yeah it's so funny and people would believe him yeah what yeah like oh my god what the fuck crazy it's so crazy how like they have such a different culture yeah i gotta get there yeah it's so i want to hunt one yeah it's hilarious we hunt lions with spears like what the fuck are you talking about where are we where are we at are we over an hour oh we got three minutes well

I don't think we're supposed to we're not supposed to go out there yeah big no no my accountant my accountant just hit me up and said, no fire escape. He said, you can't write off the fire escape, so you can't use it. He was trying to get me to write off my fucking apartment. And I said, brother, I talked to my buddy, Roan.

He says, you're a dumbass. What, as a home office? Yeah, something like that. But then I was like, no no i can't do that because then i like he was trying to get me to i don't know a bunch of shit i think he's like genuinely worried i think he's i think he thinks there's a big audit coming he thinks we're fucked he's like prepare for a storm there's gonna be a fucking storm. What did you do for Memorial Day weekend? Oh, shit.

It's coming up, right? No. Well, this show's coming out after it. Just fucking grinded. Are you going to the beach? Definitely not. Might go to the beach. I'm actually fucking pumped.

To just do jack shit in here? Yeah. Well, I got shows. You're going to paint the ceiling well i got shows where you're gonna paint the ceiling i got shows all weekend actually i have shows friday saturday sunday monday really yeah so probably not a lot and then i'm in there we're at the stand all of them i'm in there bro and then uh i'm gonna be your i'm gonna be like a cheer mom i'm gonna be fucking going absolutely

ape shit for you yeah dude we did it that's my guy last night huh me and colin did our show last night it was awesome i would have loved to come yeah it's a good time you should come anytime it's free i would have loved to come last night well then you should have came i said we should have colin on today you said you don't want to you don't like him that much anymore it's not at all i never would have said that. Look at the text. Columns are my best lads. So then why didn't we have him on today? Because we didn't have anybody on today.

But I suggested that we have him on. I texted some freaking big names, bro. Who did you text? Why didn't you text Andrew Schultz? Why didn't we get Andrew Schultz on? I'm sure he would have loved this place. We just told an unknown story. We just told an unknown story. Where he completely dismantles the North Korean narrative. where he would love to have Schultz on where he completely

dismantles the North Korean narrative or I guess the South Korean narrative upholds the North Korean narrative is he North Korean you think? could be he's spreading covert disinformation

alright let's do these ads on the fire escape that just sounds like a whole thing disinformation. All right, let's do these ads on the Firescape. That just sounds like a whole thing. But if we want to do that, let's freaking do it. Because I'm down for whatever. I'm going to go with the flow guy. Ron said, we're not going to Chicago. And I said, we're not going to Chicago.

I said, maybe I want to go to Chicago, Ron. You ever think about that? I'm going to start telling people that. We're not going to Chicago, are we we that's actually exactly how it was i was like i gotta stay in new york man something about this fucking city it charges me up it's so fast it's also just not i don't really understand that everyone's like dude this is just a hustle and bustle it's just there's a lot of people here can they move yeah i mean i think that's people who go to like time square yeah yeah because jesus what a shithole that is you used to live

there bro i know where's next for you man i'm gonna move into your fucking i'm gonna buy your apartment the heck you probably no you're gonna probably move to montauk yeah i'm thinking about doing a summer there just to test it out just test the waters you should bro should we get a summer house probably yeah i'm probably gonna get a spot out in austin too let's get a mothership a summer house out in austin well let's just make sure we spend 183 days there yeah is that how much it has to be for the taxes that's all it has to be 183 days i think so something like that what florida is too so why is dave always freaking out about like oh i have to oh it's because he goes to montauk in the summer that makes sense

because he yeah 183 days is nothing yeah it's like half the year yeah but i thought he i was always confused to see like i can't come to new york today because i got to be in miami well he's a jet setter. But then I realized that he also... One night in West Virginia, one night in Malibu, two weeks in Italy. And also if he's spending

four months in Montauk. You saw he said 18 months and he's out of here? I did, yeah. Is he actually leaving or is he renegotiating? I don't fucking know. You definitely know.

You know everything. I definitely don't know. Why don't you call him? We should have had him come here. That would have been awesome. If he just coaches up on the couch? Yeah. You want to sit in the middle?

You want to sit, bitch? We should have had him sit in the middle. That would have been amazing. All right. Well, thank you guys for listening. We'll see you guys next week. Next week, big guests. And the week after that, big guests.

True, we do have some big guests coming up. It's going to be sick. War mode, I think. War mode? I think Shane. Maybe. Matt, for sure. Matt, for sure.

Should we get them both at the same time? We were just discussing this. Your call? And we were saying, or we spread them out. Double those views. Better for us yeah um and then some other people all right all right see you guys next week shout out to to mook shout tyler shout going see you guys next week