Son of a Boy Dad - Richest On The Plane - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 87

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

Sas recaps his weekend at Metlife as a member of Bill Mafia, we are becoming a Million Dollaz Worth of Game reactions podcast, Josh Allen is out (of what?), and we are putting you onto decade old bangers. A bunch more funny stuff happens in between. Enjoy. Ads: Gametime Download the Gametime app and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Betterhelp Son of a Boy Dad is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to https://barstool.link/SONbetterhelp for 10% off your first month Bearbottom Clothing Go to https://barstool.link/BearbottomSOABD to get free shipping on your first purchase. Shady Rays Get 50% OFF 2+ pairs of Adult Non-Prescription Sunglasses at https://barstool.link/shadyraysBSS with code SON Ridge Wallet Go to https://barstool.link/RidgeBSS and use the code DAD for 10% off your orderYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Your favorite podcast. But before we get into that, let's start off with an ad, the best way to start a show. Rowan, let's talk about GameTime.

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Billies game. The Billies game. And they put you in whatever silly game you want to be in because that's just how good the folks over at GameTime are. This fly is fucking torturing me. I didn't even see a fly, but let's finish up that out and then we'll get to that.

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Guaranteed. Guaranteed. All right. All right. Let's just get into it. Where were we? Where were we? I don't know.

Let's just hop right in. Yeah. We got a lot to talk about today. So I ordered lunch, right? And then they said that there's chicken in the kitchen. Oh, I actually did the exact same thing. You ordered lunch and there was chicken? But I didn't eat the chicken.

I ate the sandwiches. I ate some sandwiches. I've never heard that. Those carbohydrates are going to wind up fucking a minute on the hips. Energizing me? A life on your hips. If anything, they're going to energize me. No, they're going to be on your hips.

They're going to go right to your hips. Do you have anything else you want to advertise? I do. Why? You to go right to your hips. Do you have anything else you want to advertise? I do. Why? You felt that good to you? Yeah, I'm just in the mood to just add. I know. We need to add ads.

No, no, no. We're not doing another ad here. Okay, okay, okay. But I'm just saying, what would Matt Walsh do? Exactly. I always ask myself that every day. What would Matt Walsh do? I went to the Bills game.

They lost. Probably because of you. You're their bad luck charm. No, I'm now one and one when I go. Remember how much you talked about gambling? What do you have in your throat? Nothing. I think I'm just sick.

Are you? Yeah. Was it from the Bills game? No, I've been stuffy all week. Or is it the 19 again? The 19. What's that? Oh, no, no, no.

Not like that. Thank God. SNL made fun of it this weekend. I know. I saw that? Oh, no, no, no. Not like that. Thank God. SNL made fun of it this weekend. I know. I saw it. It was actually a funny sketch. I thought it was really funny. Yeah.

And then they got destroyed. I thought it was a beautiful shot. They're having Dave Chappelle on this week, too. Really? Yeah. He was like a terrorist to those fans. I know. They really don't like that kind of thing.

Like Dave Chappelle for the SNL fans is worse than Osama Bin Laden by a lot. Yeah. It's like Ron DeSantis going on stage at that country concert. You see how pissed people were at that? The Florida governor went on stage at a Luke Bryan concert or some shit like that. He was just like, hey, there was a tragedy.

Can we help raise some money? And people were like, what the fuck was that? You got some fucking set of nerves. Bringing out a politician at a concert is a pretty bad idea. Yeah. Shane had Andrew Yang open up for him once. Did he?

Yeah. That's his boy. I think he just did like one minute. I think that's his boy. Yeah, that's funny. He's just like, I like Asian people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what it was.

Little did those fans know what he thinks of steven chay deep down i know hates him so what he couldn't come to the bills game with you or what no i couldn't get anybody to come with me i know anyone i heard you asking every single person can you go through everybody you asked? I mean, I can just list. You asked Tommy. You asked Shane. I asked Shane. I asked Nick, Owen, KB, Tyler, Greer.

You didn't ask Mook? Mook was in Philly. Mook wasn't in the city. How did you know that? Because I know. I mean, I asked legitimately every single person I know. Who took the pictures of you at the game then? Well, I ended up going with some friends from the stand. Oh. Yeah.

Very nice. That's a flex. Yeah, it was fun. I feel like that's nice to be able to take people to things. I feel like that kind of introduces a little bit of they owe you. You know, no such thing as a free lunch. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I had a fun time. It sucked that they lost.

That was a bummer. But I'm sure that I put a bunch of money on it. Yeah. Cause I was like, I'm going in person. Like, let's make this fun. And then they stopped serving alcohol.

I told you about this. They don't serve alcohol after like the second half. That's dumb as fuck. Yeah. The only reason you go to something like that is to get shit paste. Yeah. So I'm like drunk. I had like four beers in the first half,

go out, start of the second half to get a beer no beers so then i'm like hung over and i asked the lady i was like can i get a beer can i get two miller lights and she goes no uh we don't serve alcohol anymore and i was like oh okay can i get one miller light and she points to the police officers next to me she goes not unless you want to go out here go leave the stadium in cuffs oh my god dude I was like I don't want to do that I want a beer though

and then you got arrested then you got thrown in the drunk tank what a wild like I didn't I've never been there before how am I supposed to know that yeah that's infuriating I was just like can I get two beers and she was like no we can't serve alcohol and I was like how about I get one beer like kind of joking like knowing she's gonna, no, we can't serve alcohol. And I was like, how about I get one beer? Like, kind of joking, like, knowing she's going to say no. And then the next step is prison.

The next step is you go to jail. You want to get dragged by that police force? Yeah, I was like, also, I don't think I would be the one going to prison. You would be. Yeah, for serving me. For serving me the alcohol. Yeah, I feel like. You dumb bitch. And I stomped back to my seat in anger. You see

that police with his firearm on his side? Yeah. You want him to empty that clip into your chest? You see that video of Gilly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He definitely smelled like weed. Oh, 100%.

Yeah. He was getting stopped in Texas, and some shy-ass fucking cop was like- Dude, the cops in Texas look so fucking lame with those cowboy hats on. Yeah. They're in the Wild West. And this guy had his hands in his pocket. He was looking down at his shoe, fucking twisting his foot or whatever, being like, well, I thought that you weren't allowed to smoke weed.

Yeah. Well, it's technically not legal out here yet. And he was like, I'm probably the richest person in all this country. Yeah, yeah. That was wild of him to say. Probably true. Well, he just got money. I'm sure he was thinking it, but it is wild all of this planet. Yeah, yeah. That was wild of him to say. Probably true. Well, he just got money. I'm sure he was thinking it, but it is wild to say out loud.

Yeah. You think he'd regret saying that? No. Who was filming it? Probably Wallo. Definitely Wallo. Why would Wallo put that out? I feel like I wouldn't put that out there.

Well, because he got profiled. The boys got profiled. Yeah, probably. And he was like, oh, they're profiled. Or they actually smell like weed. I mean, I don't think I've ever been around them when they don't smell like weed. Them? Dude're pro or they actually smell like weed i mean i don't think i've ever been around them when they don't smell like weed them dude walla doesn't walla doesn't smoke gilly exactly gilly smokes a lot he can't stop yeah yeah the gilly search his own bag too i feel like that's a move i would have pulled i would be like look nothing in there right you

see anything and then just just push it i mean can you get in trouble for smelling like weed tyler no no tyler was leaving chicago after a neighborhood eats and we had just smoked weed before we sent him off to the airport and he said like a great dane like leapt on him oh really like the dogs in uh o'hare when you like walk the two by two line or something yeah yeah and then i'm walking and these two dogs like like their go on my back. I turned around like, what is this? They made me walk back and forth like, dude, I have nothing on me. I don't even think, I always thought that. And in Chicago it's legal. I always heard that they're not searching for drugs, they're searching for bombs.

That's what I say. That's what I always tell people when I'm trying to convince them. But I think that's true because people bring weed on planes all the time. Yeah, or they're probably searching for like a brick of cocaine. Do you even smell that? Is that a smell? It smells like Tom Ford Tuscan leather. Oh, really?

Yeah. I don't know what cocaine smells like. That's a Drake. You would probably know. He's like Tom Ford Tuscan leather. You're always smelling it. Smelling cocaine? Smelling it into your fucking brain.

That's not true, dude. Yeah, you have a coke problem. That's not true, dude. We haven't talked about this in a while. Yeah, in a while because I got clean, man. I've been waiting

to bring this up for a bit. Dude, I, uh... I'd love to do some coke. Yeah. I'd love to, if someone's offering. I have no interest. Why not?

Just prefer being sober. I think just a little bit of any drug is probably awesome. Too much of any drug is always terrible. I just think I'd sound too addictive of a personality. You think you'd love it? I think I'd love it and then I'd never stop doing it. With much of any drug is always terrible. I just think I'd stay too addictive of my personality.

You think you'd love it? I think I'd love it and then I'd never stop doing it. With the amount you love stand-up. Please, it's my favorite drug. Getting up on stage, the roar of the crowd. Being the man in the arena. That's what I fucking love. Yeah.

You smell me right now? Yeah, you smell like cocaine. No. Yeah, you reek of coke. There was like cologne in the bathroom, so I lit myself up. Oh, really? Jersey Jerry style? smell me right now yeah you smell like cocaine no yeah you reek of coke there was uh there's like cologne in the bathroom so i lit myself up no really jersey jerry style i don't think it was jersey jerry's but i did a jersey style yeah i made a stinky cloud in the air then dip my head into it hell yeah like i was putting my head into a magic tree house i'm trying to get into

smelling good i feel like that's an edge up that you could have on life. Yeah, it definitely is. I need to start smelling better too. Yeah, you stink. No, I feel like I have no odor. Yeah, you are odorless. I'm odorless. But that could go the bad way really quickly. Getting something wrong with my eye right now. You twitching? It's like getting blurry.

Stroke? I don't know. Stroke? Well, we got the dozen. Are you at the dozen tonight i'm gonna go yeah you gotta be more of like a hype man jeff low came up to me and he was like yeah sass said that i sass said you told him that he has to go that i told you you have to go you did like 10 times no i didn't yes you did no i didn't yeah you did when like, I didn't. Yeah, you did. When? Like on the Yak. Like 10 times you were like sassed you're going to be there. Damn, dude. I guess I just say shit, huh?

I mean, I'm glad to go. I've never seen it live before. I'm excited. It should be pretty fun. Have you ever even watched a dozen match before? I've watched a couple. Have you ever been in one? No.

People watch them every day. Like people within Barstool watch them. No, I'm excited. I think it's going to be fun. How long is it? Do you stay for the whole thing? There's three matches. And you guys are first. No, I'm excited. I think it's going to be fun. How long is it? Do you stay for the whole thing? There's three matches. And you guys are first?

No, we're last. Oh, Frank and the Frankettes are first. Yeah, yeah. So you got to get over there for Frank and the Frankettes. What time does it start? Five o'clock.

No, it doesn't. We're supposed to be there at five. The talent calls at five. We got the fucking, we got that thing in Philly this weekend too. That's going to be terrible. That's going to suck.

I am not looking forward to that. Yeah, it might be awesome for people to watch. Dude, I don't... I mean, I probably shouldn't shit on it, but... No, I'm just saying us playing basketball is not what you go to a basketball game to watch. No, I don't even think that's going to be the problem. The matchups. Don't act like you know about college basketball. I looked up who's playing. They could be great matchups. Don't act like you know about college basketball.

I looked up who's playing. They could be great matchups. My high school team could have beat those teams. It could be incredible matchups. And it's at 5 p.m. on a Friday. 5 p.m.? It's a doubleheader. That's the first matchup. All right.

Who's on the second? Even better teams. What's the first game? Mississippi State and UAB, maybe? No, that's the second? Even better teams. What's the first game? Mississippi State and UAB, maybe? No, that's the second one. Or I think it's UAB versus like Toledo. Toledo, yeah. That's going to be a good game.

Yeah, yeah. People have been raving about that one. Well, UAB, you know that's for Alabama-Birmingham. Yeah, the UAB-Toledo match is going to be flying crazy at 5 p.m. on a Friday. The Toledo. What are you even saying that like? Toledo? What is it called?

Toledo. Toledo? Toledo. You're saying it like a high heel. Yeah, I never heard the word before, so I pronounced it in my head as I read it. Toledo. Yeah. I just said it out loud, though.

Yeah, and I forgot. You're saying it like a stiletto boot. Yeah. That would be a better name. I'm not going out loud, though. Yeah, and I forgot. You're saying it like a stiletto boot. Yeah. That would be a better name. I'm not going to come at you. And then, are you staying over in Philly? Yeah. I think I'm going to stay over.

Well, I am going to stay over. So I got to go to Baltimore the next day. Oh, shit. So I'll be performing in Baltimore. I'll be performing in Baltimore in Magoobies. Two shows, one night of comedy, a magical evening. Magoobies? Magoobies.

What the fuck is that? It's a comedy club. That's the name of it? Yeah. It's like a chain, right? Yeah, you got a couple. It's pretty fun to say. I know, right?

Yeah. It comes off, rolls off the tongue nice. It sounds like it's somebody, like a cool nickname that somebody would have. Yeah, me. Like Magroobers or something like that, but you call it Magoobies. Yeah, Roan Goobies. Don't fucking joke about that. Yeah. Don't fucking joke about that. Yeah.

Don't fucking joke about that. Maroonies. Don't say that, bro. Faroonies. Don't, bro. I'm seriously going to fucking kick the shit out of you. Yeah, you got to go see Sass. What happened?

You had to reschedule some dates? No, I just had to cancel the Friday shows because I had to go be there for UAB versus Toledo. Toledo. And what's the second game? Mississippi State versus who? Akron. Oh, Akron.

Dude, this is going to be really fun. Dude, fuck what everyone is saying. This is actually going to be a great matchup. Who's saying anything? Just people are talking. I'm hearing shit. People are like, dude, it would have been better if UAB was playing Mississippi State.

Then I would go watch. You think they should swap the matches? I think they should swap teams. Well, maybe we could circulate a petition. I think if I subbed in on the Toledo basketball team, I wouldn't be the worst player on the team. You think they're that bad? You can't dribble without the ball going over your head. I have no idea.

I don't know anything about college basketball. I know. I'm just fucking busting chops. You're just busting chops, dude. I just don't want Dave to hear this because he will fucking whip your ass. Well, it's sold out, right? The stadium? Yes.

Well, they're roping off the upper half, but the lower half... If Toledo and UAB were playing against each other in the March Madness Finals, do you think they would sell out at the stadium? People are excited about this. People are excited to come through to this. And these teams travel.

That's what you don't get about Akron and Toledo. Those are two of the biggest cities in Ohio. Dude, I'm fucking around. I'm really excited for this. LeBron James is from Akron. I actually am excited. It's going to be fun.

I'm excited to play Yak basketball, too. And have you ever seen a basketball game? Oh, yeah. A couple. Oh, you went to the Lakers game? I went to the Lakers game. I went to the Lakers Celtics back when Shaq and Kobe were on the team, brother. Shut up.

Yep. And what was that like for you? Was that really nice? Shaq's a big guy. Oh. I mean, he's a sweet guy, too. Yeah, he's so good at commercials. The way that he's always so nice to that

young general in that commercial. Yeah, Shaq's a nice guy. Yeah, he's a fucking stud. Icy Hot, he's always putting on Icy Hot. I think Shaq just makes money, dude. He chases the bag in the right way. He's gotta be like a billionaire. Yeah, he'll just do any ad. He's gotta have a sneaky bee.

Yeah, he's gotta have a bunch of just extra clothes in his house yeah i don't know how they do that shit just get an extra clothes they must just i mean you gotta think i think you just gotta pick one brand and be like this is what i'm rocking with have you did you see uh rick ross's uh he like is trying to get rid of all of his clothes and he has a big ass house it looks like scarface have you you ever seen Scarface? Yes. You know, like the mansion with like the two steps? He has that and it's just all his clothes

that he's trying to get rid of and it just looks like the most clothes that I've ever seen in my life. You have to look at this. I'm going to show you the fucking video right now.

Holy shit. Imagine having that many clothes dude imagine having been that fat and then gotten skinny oh wait that's why he's getting rid of all them that's a bad idea getting rid of the clothes look how much clothes that is

I think he's been losing weight for a minute because he's going to get back those are probably tons of clothes you think he lost weight because of what Gilly said about him no he's been losing weight for a minute to lay 11 11 pepper wings i don't think that's why but i think it's funny i would that would get me to lose weight for sure i like how we talk about gillian wallow on this show the same way that we used to talk about like josh richards and bryce why why what these what do you say i'm just saying i think that we've like blossomed from one to the other. We used to talk about TikTokers, and now we talk about...

Yeah, because Gilly and Wallow are awesome. So are Bryce Hall and Josh Richards. Yeah, they are. Clip that, Steward Clubhouse, you piece of shit. Every time I mention Bryce Hall, Steward Clubhouse rolls it. He's got a fucking alarm set to roll that out at seven in the morning. Whenever Bryce Hall wakes up he's got paparazzi outside Bryce Hall's house

he'll tag Bryce Hall and his entire team of managers handing him a fucking evening edition of a newspaper being like extra extra little sass makes fun of Bryce Hall stop the presses me and Bryce it's all love now we squashed that beef a long time ago well after the fact that you guys get bred together Bryce Hall. Stop the presses. Me and Bryce, it's all love now. Oh, yeah.

We squashed that beef a long time ago. Well, after the fact that you guys get bred together with that new business venture that you're doing. And the fact that you recognize how much pussy he fucks. Yeah. I'm in on his energy drink brand, Annie Energy. Yeah? Yeah. And slugging those strictly. Yeah.

Strictly off the Annies these days. You're an influencer for him. I'm big on the primes too well that's one of the things i learned on shark tank is that uh you can't expect online marketing to do your work for you you have to make content around the business and so he just gives you the energy and he's like here's tiktok that's your blank canvas you can you can do whatever the fuck you want with that shit see See, as an influencer like myself, I use TikTok

more as a weapon. An advertising weapon. I'm not on there strictly for content. I'm there to promote my brand. And you're a secret stealth ninja. You're like the secret service. You're like a Pinkerton out here. You know what I use as a weapon? My mental health. I weaponize my

mental health at all fucking times. That's smart. Yeah, exactly. If I'm ever having some mental health shit, I just fucking gaslight the shit out of someone. Like when I like to think about content creation, I think TikTok is like my AR-15. And then my brand and my products, that's the ammunition that I'm loading into the AR-15. And I'm just spraying all over the internet. Instagram's like a Bowie knife.

It's a goddamn mass shooting on the internet. But Instagram's your Bowie knife. It's like you can get in real close with the Instagram. It's nice and personal. And I think your Twitter is kind of your Glock on your hip. If shit ever gets crazy, fucking Mr. and Mrs. Smith. More of a.44 Magnum, though. Yeah, oh yeah.

I'm quick with it. Yeah, he's quick with his Twitter. But TikTok is his AR-15. TikTok, yeah. Bumpstock, fucking reverse grip, fucking M4A1, fucking heavy. It looks like Sicario when he's out there with that thing. Like in Sicario.

Have you ever seen Sicario? Yes, I actually have. Have you? I think. It's the one in Spanish and shit. Is that the one about the cartel? Yeah. Yeah.

That movie's very vivid. That movie's deece. Well, people are really getting there. I watched it on a plane the other day, actually. You just watched Sicario? Probably a month ago, yeah. Really? That's the one where they're like they like they bring in like the cia agents well they have the m m4a1 foregrip it's like the i don't but what does it have to do with the movie now you're

throwing now you're losing me well it's a sweet gun that they have in the movie but the m4a1 is not a reliable weapon at all with the four constantly jams the foregrip is a horrible grip no dude it's fucking sick super tight holding it super tight you know what i feel like we haven't done in a while oh reader emails an ad this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with a user manual. I want it on the record. I love BetterHelp. So when it's not working for you, it's normal to... Unfortunately, life doesn't come with a user manual.

So when it's not working for you, it's normal to feel stuck. You said that this show is sponsored by BetterHelp, right? I just wanted you to hammer it home. So could you maybe say it again? Must say. No. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. He's like, I got no problem with BetterHelp.

I didn't mean Mayday's them. I didn't. I didn't. You just did Mayday them. I don't know what that means. What does that mean? When you hopped on the microphone and said Mayday. Oh, no't I didn't You just did Mayday them I don't know what that means What does that mean? When you hopped on the microphone And said Mayday Oh no

Ruined the production No I'm a big BetterHelp person I am too I actually have it on my phone So do I And I'm a No I believe you I believe you

I believe you You don't even gotta show it Bang It's a white screen Oh You just heard to be happy. Atta boy. Of course.

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your third eye. I'm using it to access your third eye as well, like a mentalist. Like a mentalist. Oh my god. Dr. Oz. No, not Dr. Oz. That. Like a mentalist. Like a mentalist. Oh my God. Dipping into that. Dr. Oz. As the world's... No, not Dr. Oz. That's not the mentalist. I know.

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No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com. That's betterhelp.com slash son. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash son. Nice. How about that mentalist reading my mind? That was scary, dude. And I watched it back many times and couldn't find anything. No tells by me?

No. Someone commented and said that he had like a fake thumb marker. But then I watched it back and it wouldn't even have mattered if he had that. A fake thumb marker but then i watched it back and it wouldn't even have mattered if you had that a fake thumb marker like like they thought that like his thumb had like a like a little dot right here like like a little thing that goes over your thumb where it's just like you can like write with his thumb really fast yeah but it would it wouldn't have been possible no it wouldn't have been possible he's a mind reader he but i don't understand the the jeff how did it how is it in the wallet when did it get there maybe. How is it in the wallet? When

did it get there? Maybe there's other stuff in the wallet. He's just got a list of names in there. Maybe he's just got a list of names in different compartments of his wallet. Now, I think he's like, it's black magic. Black? Yeah. White man. Black magic

from a white man. Dude, playing he's yeah that's risky business yeah that's dangerous as hell yeah that's the devil brandon and zah did not like it no they didn't like it at all yeah there's some people that don't like that that occult shit dude it was free i welcome it i welcome it too i would i would like to see him come in and do it two hours of that yeah or i'd go to a show definitely he has shows I'd go to a show. Definitely he has shows. We should go to a show. I would. Is he in New York tonight? Skip the dozen?

Why not? Go see Dr. Oz live? Stop calling him Dr. Oz. His name is Oz, right? O-Z. O-Z. No, it's Oz. The Wizard of Oz.

I think he said his name was Oz. Yeah. Oz the Mentalist. Kanye would not have liked him no o's perlman what what do you uh what is a mentalist i think it's a mind reader i think some shit like that yeah they tell you what you're thinking type of thing i don't know if i'd want to like be around that guy why like like how do you how are you friends with that dude he's just reading your mind constantly i don't know you didn't want to come here did you

and don't lie to me because i can read your fucking mind jesus do you like your gift yeah no you don't you've been over this i'm reading your mind don't lie to me this is my favorite. I've worked very hard on this dish. I mean, dude, that's kind of... Probably really simplifies things. I tried to look it up, too. How he does it? I tried to look up Dr. Oz

exposed. And it really just turns out that he doesn't actually live in Pennsylvania, like he's been saying. I looked up Oz the Mentalist explained. Nothing came up. Yeah. Obviously he's going to scrub the internet. He didn't even come up. He doesn't exist. There's a figment of

your imagination. What the fuck? Should I have lied to him about what the number was? No, because I bet he has that all the time. What, liars? I bet he doesn't do the number one like on stage. Why? Because it'd be so easy for someone to just be like, because I mean, think about how how many people go to you probably did this when you went to your magic show how many people go to magic shows and are the entire time they're like i'm gonna fuck this guy

up i'm gonna ruin why would i do that i could see you doing it not at all the guy came in and he was your number 31 nope it was seven a big smile on my face because that's how i am i was just sitting there and he looks at me and he goes you're hiding a lot of secrets and it's true and it's true dude you are and he was like you're an open book and a straight shooter and I bet I could read your brain

I didn't like that at all I was just sitting there he was like you would lie I wouldn't lie I love that kind of shit no you don't that's probably one of your secrets what was it 31 or 71 He was like, you would lie. I wouldn't lie. I love that kind of shit. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do.

I would say. That's probably one of your secrets. What was it, 31 or 71? 71. 71, and you started at 31. No, he made that up. Oh, he made that up. He was wrong, and then he realized he was wrong as he was about to say 31, and then I kind of tipped it off.

It was close to 69. He probably saw me thinking the one. How would he have saw that? saw that seen that i don't know how else how else would he do it dude i like it's gonna i'm gonna be up at night tonight thinking about this why because i just don't understand how how the card got into the wallet just accept that god's real dude i that's fine but i just i think the devil has to be real for this to be a real thing what's devilish about this he brought magic he brought joy there's nothing black about this? He brought joy. He brought joy. There's nothing black about this magic. And I don't know why you're associating black with bad.

Dark magic. Dark's bad? It's not bad, dude. It's just the dark arts. You just said it's the devil. They were created by Satan. I said it was God. I said that this is godly action.

I know, but I'm telling you that dark magic, black magic, whatever you want to say. I don't want to say either of those things, dude. I think that this guy's an angel. I think guy is michael the archangel all right dude uh what else you don't agree what you don't agree no i was gonna say something i decided to not say it the n-word no the way you're laughing he makes it seem like i was trying to think of another way that i could say dark or black but but it wasn't going to be. It was not going to be that. It wasn't going to be that.

I know exactly which path you were going down. I don't know where I was going down, but I said, hey, you know what? Not today. Not today. That's not a bad, that's not a good idea. No. But it is dark magic, right? It's the evil magic.

Yeah, but that was in a time when racism was cool and it's not cool anymore. It isn't. It's bad. And now let, but that was in a time when racism was cool. And it's not cool anymore. It isn't. It's bad. And now let's get into our next advertisement. If you sign up for the anti-racism campaign, you use code SON. Did you vote today? No, I didn't vote.

Why? Because that's lame, dude. What? I'm a millennial. We don't vote. We're cool, dude. No, you're not. You're Gen Z, dude.

I'm Gen Z, dude. Gen Z doesn't vote. All we do is watch TikTok and Dr. Oz all Gen Z does is put on a skirt that doesn't match

with a shirt and then wears boots all Gen Z does is wear cowboy boots I wake up one day I'm a girl one day I'm a boy you think I got time

to vote now you're on your Matt Walsh shit you think I got time to be voting what am I gonna vote for so what is a woman if you're so sure explain it to me did you vote You think I got time to be voting? What am I going to vote for? So what is a woman?

If you're so sure, explain it to me. Did you vote? God, no. Yeah, no. I'm disenfranchised, dude. One of my buddies, my buddy who lives in Denver, Beau, he decided to vote. And I was like, you didn't even vote for the presidential election. And he was like, actually, I would argue that this is more important. And then I found out that he was in Denver.

They're voting for the legalization of psychedelics oh so that's what that is what gets people throw a little throw some drugs in the mix and the denver fools are going to be running to the polls i think it's anywhere yeah if you just put weed on the ballot like you'd have lines around the block only reason people vote there'd be no voter fraud or anything like that people are dead serious about drugs and you just have to have a new drug every four years that people are putting on there. Isn't, I mean, in Portland,

it's like heroin is legal. They just legalized everything in Portland. And dude, Minneapolis is the new Portland. Is it? People used to talk about Portland like, oh,

Portland's the last bastion of fucking liberalism or whatever, dude. I think Minneapolis is it now. Minneapolis is fucking... I don't. No? Ah, maybe.

Well, why do you say not? Why do you disagree? I don't. No? Ah, maybe. Why do you disagree? I don't know. Yeah, you stayed in the fucking mall the entire time, bro. Yeah, I was going to say the mall. You're a corporate shill. The mall might be the most diverse place on earth. Minneapolis might be the most diverse place on earth. It might be. It's like half the population is Somali. Yeah.

Pirates. Yeah, it's dope. They got a bunch of fucking... They got a bunch of pirates running around it's crazy it's so diverse these fucking sweet ass pirates dude damn i'm coming down with something i know you need to be taken out back and shot i know it's because the it's you're probably doing myself you were about to shoot yourself after that after that ugly ass video of you was popping up on everybody's phone. Yeah, I don't know what was with that. I've never seen someone threaten S so much. Threaten to kill myself? Yeah, you were threatening

S. Yeah, I was. Thankfully, you didn't do it. No, I mean, I was busting balls. You can bust balls, dude. I feel like you're losing track of what's busting balls and what isn't. I feel like I bust balls more than anyone else and get called out for it. And everyone's like, you're a dark soul deep down.

I'll just bust balls and be like, you're actually a bad person. Bro. I don't have the license to bust balls just like anybody else. Are you getting flack, bro? I get flack all the time. Not like me. I got a whole flack jacket. I get more flack than anybody.

No, dude. I get flacked up. I do sometimes look at other people in the office and I'm like, couldn't do it. Glad I'm not that. I'd be smashing the S button on myself. No, I just meant in terms of shit that people get.

Of course. I get a lot of shit. I got to be top five. Of everyone? Yeah. No. I just have a lot of people that like me as well. No,

I think that there's no way you're top five. You don't think? I could see how it feels that way. I think the case race, if you add up all the comments from the case race, I got to be like top three. No. I mean, Dave has got to be number, I guess, yeah, I guess it's different. Dave's got to be number one just because he's the biggest and he's the GOAT.

Who else? I guess we probably shouldn't do this. What are we doing? What am I thinking? This is bad. Yeah. Let's rank who gets the most hate in the office. Yeah.

And then call Dave number one. What the fuck am i thinking well at least you can say i got mashed potato brain right now dude i'm not all there you know that dave is is number one and that's the only one you can say because he's big enough and rich enough that it doesn't it shouldn't bother him no everybody else down the list probably doesn't even get paid enough for how much shit they take like if you think in your mind of whoever you think is number two, Rhea and Marty or whatever. Now, we got to cut this whole segment.

Let's just restart. They know they get a lot of shit. It's very unfair. They probably don't get paid enough for as much shit as they get. I don't know. People are mean get. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. People are mean online.

Yeah. Am I out of line here? When we got into the money thing, I started thinking about myself. I was like, do I get paid enough for the amount of shit that I get in? You probably do. Who cares, dude? Money's not real. You know what's real? Spending time with your boys. Going to see The Dozen live. Coming out to see me in baltimore this weekend are you gonna have two

shows a magic night of comedy god damn front row tickets maybe you're part of a tiktok i can't wait to be at mcgoobies this weekend maybe your front row mcgoobies and sass that puts you in some crowd work oh man have a good answer if you ask you what you do. What are some good answers that people could have that set you up for a good joke? Gynecologist. Yes, yes, yes. President of the United States. President of the United States. I'd say, Joe, what? Is that you? What the fuck?

What the hell are you doing here? What's your sleepy ass doing? You old bastard? It's 8 p.m. It's past your bedtime. That would have the fucking Baltimore crowd going nuts. The Baltimore crowds get rowdy. Have you guys ever tried crack? Tickets actually are flying like goddamn hotcakes. Like crack in Baltimore.

Yeah, the tickets are flying out of the shelves. You should watch The Wire just so you have a couple references. Just an episode. I usually do my homework before I go places. Yeah. I have a couple lines that have you guys seen any ravens games yeah what's going on with those ravens yeah johns hopkins is in baltimore dude speaking of football my boy josh allen might be out

of the closet no josh allen's gay bro are really going to out your boy like that? Because I feel like he's way too cool to be gay. If Josh Allen was hurt, I would... We were playing the Vikings this weekend, too. A month? Is that what they're saying? It's already out? No, you're not hearing shit.

I swear. Who did you hear it from? What? Big Cat? Bro, why did you just out my source? No way. Is he really? I mean, he'll be back for the playoffs.

Dude, he's out for a month? I think so. No, he's not. How would Big Cat know that? It's not like he has the number one sports podcast in the world. It's not like he knew Josh Allen before he got drafted. It's not like he's the number one sports podcast in the world. Not like he knew Josh Allen before he got drafted. It's not like he's personal friends with every NFL player. Josh Allen's a recurring guest on his show.

Is he really? I think so. Are we going to have to cut this? No, no. Probably. Who cares? We're a comedy podcast. We're probably fucking joking.

We can't break the biggest news in the NFL. That Josh Allen's gay? And he's out for a month? Yeah, he's just gay for a month. Are you busting shops right now? You better not be busting shops. No, I am. He's not actually gay. He is out for a month, though.

Is he really? But he is not gay. Is that why they weren't under Juggernaut on Big Head's weekly rankings? Yeah, that's why. Well, if they lose Josh Allen, that's a pretty big... Or because they fucking lost this week to the Jets. How can you be a juggernaut if you lost to the Jets?

Josh Allen was hurt for that last play. Josh Allen was hurt. The Jets, I mean, dude, the Jets suck ass. You should be a Jets fan now. We gave them that win. No, the Jets rookie class is incredible. I was there, dude. I was talking to the boys

on the sideline. I said, just give them one. Look at all these, look at all these sad people. Look at all these sad Jets fans. They deserve one win. Talking to the boys on the sidelines.

Is that where your seats were? I think I saw. I saw. Dude, I went up and then I came back. Yeah, I went back down. How long did it take you to get up?

You know how that goes, dude. It was like summoning Everest. You pop on down to the sidelines. You went to the stadium for the hike. I was in the nose boots. It's because you asked so late for tickets. I asked late, and I asked for a lot of tickets. How many did you get?

Ten. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. You got four? Well, I said, I don't want anyone sitting. I don't want any Jets fans sitting next to me. I want to buy out the whole row. The people you went with definitely weren't Bills fans.

They're probably like Brooklyn comedy fans with green hair. They were definitely just out there like fucking. First of all, I don't hang around with Brooklyn comics. I bet you do, dude. I'm a Manhattan guy. No, you idolize them. You go there. The Comptown Boys?

Is that what you're saying? I didn't even have to say it. Because you were about to say it. That's probably how the mentalist read me. The Comptown Boys? You saw the look on my face and it said, fucking Nick Mullen all over it. Don't.

Put that near me again. I'm going to rub my cold sore on you. Put that near me again. put that near me i'm gonna rub my cold sore on you put that near me again that should be my new self-defense tactic just rubbing my cold sore and then going straight to you with it that's what et used to do i used to be like the big thing when people pretend they lick their hand they like look at i have the force then they lick their hand and go near someone and be like no dude you're just fucking gross. When was that a big thing?

Maybe it was when I was in second grade. So you were probably just graduating college. Yeah. Actually, that probably makes it probably like right on. It's probably spot on. How many years ago was it? You were just settling down in the city. I think I was in second grade and you just started at barstool that might be true

no how old are you you're how many you're 13 years older than me how old are you yeah i'm 13 years older than you so yeah that is actually right so when i was you were in sixth grade when i started at barstool no oh no no no. That's not true. You dumbass. I was like eight. That was like six. How many grades are there? Technically, 16 was 10 years ago. 16.

You haven't been. Yeah. Yeah. Plus college. You weren't in fucking. You haven't worked here for 10 years. You liar. You were just started battling now.

No, I've done that for more than 10 years bro what like 14 yeah i've been in the game dude so you had already been battling oh yeah oh no no you yeah you had for four years when i was in second when i was in sixth grade yeah so i started when you were in second grade. That's awesome. Yeah. I remember being in second grade watching your shit. When I was in Rikers, you was in diapers. I remember showing my boys in second grade on my iPod Touch. Yeah. On my iPod Nano. You popped out your binky.

And I said, bro, I'm going to do a show with this guy one day. And they were like, no, you're not. No, you watch. They said, no, you're not. And you you watch. They said, no, you're not. And you started crying and went to your mom. I know. You want to hear some good news? My rash is almost fully gone.

I thought of your rash the other day. After damn near three months. I saw someone in the airport with your same rash. Really? A woman walking through security. It was all over her feet and shit like that. Oh, no. Mine was not on my feet.

This reminds me of my boy's ass punch. Mine was all over her feet and shit like that. Oh no, mine was not on my feet. This reminds me of my bull's ass. Mine was not on my feet. This woman's leprosy reminds me of my friend who has a fucking terminal illness. But I'm pretty pumped about that. Could finally start going to the gym again. Yeah, no more lesions. Yeah. A lesion is a disgusting thing. It's a disgusting word. The fact that

you just have a cut on your skin and you didn't get cut. Oh, it's so gross. What are lesions caused from? Just diseases? Yeah. Syphilis and stuff? You just have a cut on your skin and you didn't get cut. Oh, it's so gross. What are lesions caused from? Just diseases? Yeah. Like syphilis and stuff? You probably have syph, bro. Well, syphilis can go all over your body, right?

Yeah. I think we've had this debate before and then it ended up being chlamydia that gets in your eye. But I believe syphilis goes all over your body. Syphilis was one of the main killers during the Revolutionary War. It was. Syphilis was one of the main killers During the Revolutionary War It was Syphilis was fucking taking out people If you don't get syphilis If you don't get like taken care of Within like three months

Your brain will get infected Yeah It was taken out in hundreds by the thousands Yeah that's crazy That's sick I had syphilis in college No Yeah

And I never got it taken care of Stewie Clubhouse No I'm kidding dude I did not have syphilis No no no no no Stewie Clubhouse Just that little'm kidding, dude. I did not have syphilis. No, no, no, no, no. Stewie Clubhouse. Just that little part. I'm kidding, dude.

I did not have syphilis. Just that little part. You know how they say. I did have chlamydia, though. I'm kidding. I didn't tell anyone either. I'm kidding. I didn't have chlamydia.

I feel like you're dialed in right now for this dozen match. You nervous? No. You guys win every time? No. Have you ever won? We just beat Frank of the Frankettes for the first time at the Philly show. They're doing a lot of live shows. What's next? Boston?

Boston. Shit. Who's on your team? Wilbur? I'm not doing it. We're not doing Boston. Really. Who's on your team? Wilbur. I'm not doing it. We're not doing Boston. Really? Why not? Because Gabe's going. They want us to do every single one? Come on.

You got to work up. You got to build up some of the other talent. Yeah, that is true. Does Rock headline SmackDown and Monday Night Raw? Shit. No, I don't think so. Only SmackDown. Only SmackDown.

Rock only does SmackDown. Well, the rock doesn't do anything anymore well i'm talking about the fucking attitude era the og rock i see what you're talking about the attitude era oh okay now i get it now you get it now you get where i'm going now i understand big hat stone cold i'm the rock and then who's stephen chay is trish Stratus. Stephen Che is a vixen. So like how long are these things? Like what should I be expecting? Are we going to have a couple beers?

You're going to have some beers, but I'm not drinking tonight. Oh, okay. Not because of the dozen. I usually drink before the dozen, but I'm just trying to take a couple days off. Yeah, because you've had a couple weeks, huh? I just can't stop drinking. You've been on drinking mode lately. You talked about my cocaine problem and really it's my alcohol problem. But are you like getting drunk?

I've never seen you drunk before. I just feel like I hold it together pretty well. Have you been drinking like how many beers? When you say, oh, I drank last night, how many beers is that? I mean like during these Philly streams. Like five, ten. During these Philly streams, we probably do like four or five shots of Whistlepig and then probably like four or five High No whistle whistle pig and then probably like four

or five high noons oh it's a lot of drinks brother i agree and that's why i'm trying and like i feel like i've been eating relatively healthy not super healthy but i've been working out a decent amount and i'm going downhill fast and like the working out's not enough just to stop the damn so maybe just a couple days just tuesday off yeah. Come through the dozen though. You get drunk. You should get drunk for both. No, I'm not going to get drunk. Why not? I drink too much too, dude.

I've come to the conclusion. I just can't stop myself. Like when I'm, when I start, once I get going, there's just no stopping until like I physically can't drink anymore. Damn. It's bad. It ruins my weekend. Damn.

You're a legend. No, it's not good. Yeah. Like we started drinking at like 7 PM. Damn. You're a legend. No, it's not good. Yeah. Like we started drinking at like 7 p.m. on Friday. Went to a bar. It was out until like 5 in the morning playing pool. No. Yeah.

And then I had to like stay. I didn't get out of bed until 7 p.m. the next day. Damn. Because I was so hungover. And that's just like it happens every weekend. I do the same thing every weekend. I'm like, I'm pumped. I got some spots.

It's going to be fun. Spots and just find anyone to play pool with you're becoming i would go with a homeless person on the street and then they're like and then i'm like oh this is a blast let's drink for seven more hours so i gotta find i gotta start limiting myself be like all right i feel good no need to keep drinking five beers every hour. I'll go home and scroll for five more hours instead of being out drinking for five more hours. It's probably better. Is it? Yes. You ever have a beer next to your bed? No. Why not? For when you're like, as you're going for the last five hours of scrolling, you don't drink while you're scrolling? No, I never have a beer when I go home. That's psychotic.

Why? Because I've already, I've already reached my limit. That's why I'm home. scrolling no i never have a beer when i go home that's psychotic why because i'm already i've already reached my limit that's why i'm home you don't like to just have one when you get home and then i get home and i eat the worst thing i can possibly find on uber eats and then i wake up in the morning i'm like dude why am i gaining weight it's not that it's not the 6 000 calories of beer i had yesterday mixed down with the 1 500 calorie cheese steak that i got when i got home it's impossible to eat healthy and the only way to live a long healthy life is by eating like vegetables and fish and not drinking and all i eat is fried food and meat and drink that the food is what is what destroys it for me the drinking well it'll catch up to you the

drinking's bad but the food on top of it dude like when you're in a comedy club and you're just putting down beers and then you're like oh let's get the double fried chicken tenders and the with the with the french fries that are literally just air fried and just shovel that into your body until you feel like you're gonna explode remember early on like in uh tiktok when they were like potatoes are a superfood no they're like potatoes actually have more nutrients than any other food and people are just like crushing fries oh are they really like oh it's a fucking superfood dude i don't even like i've gotten to a point where i don't even like enjoy fried food anymore like i don't want fried food.

I want good food. But all you do is eat it. Because it's just the most accessible thing. That's why you should become a foodie. I know, but I just can't cook in my kitchen, dude. It's so small. Fast foodie. I might join one of those box things.

That sounds terrible. Where they just send you a box of food. Just checking that we don't have any sponsors like that. No. Yeah, That sounds terrible. Where they just send you a box of food. Just checking that we don't have any sponsors like that. No. Yeah, that sounds terrible. Really? I think that sounds good. Nick's doing one right now, and he said it's really good.

Nick's eating box? He's eating like keto box. That's probably way tastier. Shady Ray's sunglasses offer an industry-best combination of fit, style, and performance without the big brand price it doesn't stop at the quality shady rays offers the most insane protection program in all of eyewear every pair is backed by lost and broken replacements if you lose or break a pair even on day one they'll send you a brand new pair wear with confidence because shady rays has your back

long after you purchase i like to put some shady rays sunglasses on my head and then look at look in the sun's and where the sun is touching like you know how they say in the lion king everything the light touches will someday touches is ours yeah exactly yours something like that yeah well i feel the same way when i'm wearing shady rays that everything that the light touches is mine i believe i saw is do shady's opening a store or do they already have one? I hope they do. I believe I saw something on Instagram of them opening a store. I believe they also are doing ski goggles now as well.

Are you serious? I might be wrong. Don't quote me on that. Probably should have checked that before I did the before I said it during the ad. But I feel like I saw all of this on Instagram. I bet Shady Ray's would do that because they think of everything. They do. They're smart people. That bastard Ray.

And that's one shady guy shay's a radio ray's a shady he's a shady bastard but i love the son of a bitch to death i take a bullet for that motherfucker i fucking love ray man you should open a comedy club called shady rays and be good it's like mcgoobies yeah I fucking love Ray, man. You should open a comedy club called Shady Rays. It'd be good. It's like Magoobies. Shady Rays. Slap some Shady Rays on your eyeballs. People won't have to look at your hideous fucking face holes.

Yeah, exactly. Because you got Shady Rays over them. And exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays has given away their very best deal of the season. Go to ShadyRays.com and use code SUN for 50% off two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses. My boy Mike said that our ad reads are getting really good. Oh, wait. We got two more?

No. Well, one of them is Shady Rays. We got two Shady Rays ads. Oh, no. What the hell? Are these both? No. I'll do it again.

That's how much I F with Shady Rays. I'll run it back. Bro, we got hella ads. My boy Mike said that we're doing really good at ad reads. Yeah, we are, dude. They're using us as examples. We're the mules. Yeah.

We're like the mules that they trot out. Ray called me last night. Who? Ray? Ray himself? Yeah. From Shady Rays? Yeah.

I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for my business. He said they're interested in licensing out my Shady Rays jingle. They want to pay me the big dollars for it. It's funny because they already own it, but if they're going to pay some more... I copyrighted it. You did? I talked to a lawyer as soon as we finished recording that. As soon as it popped into your head.

I said, I own that, by the way. Yeah. It's a zero-sum game. God damn, dude. I can't stop sniffling. I know, and you're getting it all over the microphone. Is that from me? You're getting snot and herpes all over this fucking mic.

That's disgusting. There's a pool of snot on your mic tip. Oh, dude. Something's actually on this. It looks like pre-com, dude. Switch them out. Switch them out. Ew.

It definitely came out of your nose. It definitely is flecks of spit from your fucking... I'm going to throw up. Sloppy ass speaking style. Gross. Ew. Ew, let me see it. Let me look at it.

No. Why not? All right. Why couldn't I see it? Should we look at it. No. Why not? All right. Why couldn't I see it? Should we hop into the next segment? How about the Phillies? Yeah, let's talk Phillies. They lost the World Series, and now I...

I know. How are you feeling? I would have won $40,000 if they won, and now I get nothing. But it's not about the money, brother. Yeah, but... It's about the pride. But now I think about it, I would have loved to have that money. You would have loved to.

I would have too, yeah. No, I'm just kidding. And you were going to share it with the show no which is generous everybody thought i was gonna share it so that's why i'm happy i didn't win why did people think you're gonna share it everybody everybody thought why in what world in what world would you have shared my sister thought i was gonna share it with the fuck what dude tell her to place her own bets my wife thought i was gonna share it with no no no That's not how that works. Place your own bets. This show, everybody at work, my family. Were you pissed at Mattress Mac?

Didn't he win like $75 million? Yeah, he bet $12 to win $75 or some shit like that. That's fucking insane. Yeah, what a piece of shit. He's going to fucking die. He's going to die. How does he have so much money? Mattresses and gambling, but probably mostly mattresses. He probably

loses a ton of money. So he has $12 million to throw around because of mattresses? He's probably a billionaire. That's fucked. I looked it up. It said he's like 300 mil. But even if you're 300 mil, throwing around 12 mil is a lot of money. But he's a gambler and he's gonna die.

Why is he gonna die? Because he's old. Well, dude, that 75 mil probably just bought him like a new everything. He could get a whole new body. But if he had 300, he could have already had a whole new body.

Not anymore. This is like quick money. You think he's going to get in a cyborg suit? I would take the 75 and I would put it on the bills on Sunday. Gabe Davis,

anytime touchdown scorer. Even with Josh Allen being gay? Even with Josh Allen being gay? Even with Josh Allen being gay. With Josh Allen throwing fucking touchdown passes. Dude, did you see what they did to his arm, though? They made his wrist limp, yeah. Dude, that would hurt so bad. And then he ended up throwing the fucking longest pass of the season,

70 yards to Gabe Davis. Gabe Davis just couldn't connect, unfortunately. Well, that last play, I thought he was going to catch it. I did too. I thought there was pass interference on that play. There was. Just because I'm rooting for your guy, Gabe.

Gabe's good people. He reminds me of my buddy, Pat Bev. How about what he said about you? Yeah, that's family, dude. He said that you had a dull face and skinny wrists. I know. And he also said I was that crazy motherfucker. What are you doing, brother?

You busy? I just got a text. Am I taking you away from something? Yeah, just a text from my wife. I wanted to make sure there's not an emergency. She never calls me at this time. Oh, it looks like there is an emergency. Oh, there's a gunman at our house.

Oh, no. And they need me to hop on. I can finish it off, dude. No, no, no. Can you just do one more ad? No, the gunman at our house. Oh, no. And they need me to hop on. I can finish it off, dude. No, no, no. Can you just do one more ad? No, the gunman can wait. The gunman can wait. No.

Before you go, can you just hang up? This show is my top priority, dude. I don't care. They want us to redo the Shady Rays ad. So if you could just, before you go. They said that they're demanding the PIN codes for all of our passwords. Oh, that sucks. All of our bank account passwords.

Our routing numbers. Why don't you send them a pair of Shady Rays and say, hey, can't give you all of our bank account passwords our routing numbers why don't you send them a pair of shady rays and say hey can't give you all of our money but I can give you something that's pretty good I give you something even more valuable a promo code I give you a million dollars but you use these promo codes right

you make a million dollars and you could sell those shady rays probably for about 500-600 dollars can you tail Mattress Mac? Like, does he tweet about his bets a lot or something? You're not going to make some fucking cash. You're not going to. I'm looking to make that 75 mil.

I told Tico that I had that bet on the line, and she was like, oh, can I still put one in? I should have bet on the Astros at that, at those odds. You told her that you had that exact bet? Yeah, that it was $1,000. No, I told her I had $1,000 to win $40,000. And she was like, it was like as the Astros were up 3-2 in the World Series. And she was like, oh, I should try to put that in right now.

You should have just lied. I would have been lying my ass off if I was there. I never lie. I would have been like, oh, I actually put, I also put $5,000 for the Astros to win. So it's actually, it's a win-win. I won $200,000. Oh, to just feel good about myself? Well, make other people feel bad or feel like jealous.

No, I'd feel, I'd feel like a traitor in that case. Yeah, but who, you're not, you're trading to one person. No. Your coworker. And the internet. Your, your enemy. She is my enemy. Are you guys like mortal enemies?

Yes. You hate her? Yes. I'm going to, something bad bad's gonna happen to her. From your hands? Not from my hands. You're gonna pay someone? I'm not gonna pay anyone. I'm not gonna orchestrate anything, but the universe has a way

of working those things out. She was on the parade. She was on the float. Yeah, do you see a cop talking to her because she flashed titty? Yeah, because she was flashing titties. I don't think that shit's funny at all houston i thought there were probably nice family men and women out in that crowd there's probably children who never wanted to see a titty in their life and then they are forced to see a titty at the hands that at a young age that'll probably shape their life drastically negatively yeah negatively that's going to

change the trajectory trajectory of their life in a lot of ways yeah it would have pissed Matt Walsh off to see titties that young it's going to ruin them it's going to fucking overexpose their brains they're going to be in better help for the next 10 years they're going to be sex craved fiends wondering if it's their fault

just because this groomer Tico Texas is out there fucking dangling her tits out for the fucking masses to see. Yep. Along the parade route in fucking Houston. Beautiful Houston. It's not good, dude. It's bad news.

I know. Oh, no. When she gets arrested for showing tit to crowd, I think that... Did she get arrested? She should. It probably just gave her a stern talking to, but it's coming her way. All right, man. Stoolie Clubhouse, you know what to do.

Get this out there. That's right. Along with the sassist syphil coming her way. All right, man. Let's do the clubhouse. You know what to do. Get this out there. That's right. Along with the sassist syphilis clip. Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. What? That was busting chops. This ain't. That's a straight shoot. This is straight shooting, bro. Tyler, what other funny shit happened on our...

I feel like there's something happened on our road trip that I fucking... It was just two hours of Louisiana. I guess I just had a long drive. Went to the wrong airport, chose the projects. Yeah. You went to the wrong airport? Yeah, we drove back from Louisiana to Houston and just put an airport two hours away and

it was just the wrong airport. How far away was it from the right one? 35 minutes or something like that. No, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that bad. Luckily, I love to get to the airport early as fuck so we had plenty of time to drop off the rental what happened did you guys not have any time

no we had plenty of time you never get to the airport early I know and this was the one time it was a two and a half hour drive so we had to leave early but we were just talking the whole time just having good conversations anytime I've ever been with you you get to the airport like 5 minutes before the plane leaves I know I usually get to the airport as my plane's boarding.

Especially if it's a home game. If it's at like a LaGuardia. Oh, yeah. I'm waltzing through LaGuardia at the very last second. When I flew out of Minneapolis, I got to the airport. I was still in the car when the plane was like, there was like 10 minutes left in boarding. And I made it with so much time to spare because the airport was like five minutes away from the hotel it's awesome it's the best feeling yeah you just waltz on it you don't even have to sit down you

just walk right onto the plane airports with trams are terrible though when you have to like ride a tram when you get to an airport that's just dumb as hell or rental car areas that are far away dude the the what airport did I go to recently that had that where I'd take a shuttle I think it was JFK I had to take a shuttle no

LA probably no this was like the other day this was very recently it was like last week two weeks ago probably Atlanta or some shit no

it was definitely New York Newark I had to take a bus to where to like a different terminal no yeah you probably just went

to the wrong place. No, no. It was like if you're in these gates you have to take this bus. And I was fired up. Yeah, that's fucking infuriating. I get angry when I'm at an airport. I get real angry. Well, you have no patience and you hate waiting. I do. They say, well, you gotta wait and I say, that's okay.

There's a bomb in my bag, by the way. And it's going to go off. Maybe we could hurry this thing up. Yeah. Tick, tick. Tick, tick. Tick, tick, boom. You tell me. I also got Sonic for the first time. How was that?

Gas? Pretty good. Was it gas? Have you ever had it? No, but I've just been wondering if it's gas or not. They gave me gas, bro. The fucking jalapeno burger. Bro, your mind's in the dozen right now. I can what do you mean you think i'm not focused i'm

looking at you and i'm just seeing you you're running through you're running through equations no i'm not or it's either that or the oh it's the mentalist the mentalist god to you he probably put a fucking you think i'm not locked in right now i'm extremely locked in i'm rifling through topics what else happened this week what else what else i'm fucking rifling through shit. What else happened this week? What else? What else? I'm fucking rifling through shit. I feel like we're feeling more pressured right now because we have so many ads and we have to make this episode longer than usual because we have so many ads. I know. And we need that sweet, sweet retention from our viewers.

I know. But we also want to satisfy our advertisers. Yeah. It's a real Sophie's choice. I'm all about satisfying the advertisers. I don't know where the money goes. Not to me. That's for sure.

You're somehow getting poorer. I actually just got demoted. They're paying me less. He got moved down to the mail room. Yeah, they're paying me in gift cards again. Sass is just sorting out Dave's bomb threats. I asked for a raise again

and they threw me a yak Christmas sweater. Medium. Size medium. They gave you a stinky one. And they said, you could probably stretch this out. Fit into it. You've been stretching your paycheck all this time. See if you can stretch out this sweater, fatty. I actually still haven't asked for a raise again.

I'm thinking about it soon, though. I say, hey, let's be real, guys. What the fuck is going on? It's the sass man. Yeah. It's me, baby. Come on, guys.

You know who you're talking to, E. It's Big Sassy. E, let's talk financials. And this time, I'm not playing. Exactly. Bring out your calculator, because we're going to be doing some maths. Did you see that Dave is coming out with a watch? Yeah, dude. I'm pumped to see those.

I feel like he heard us talking about coming out with milk last week and I feel like he's like, oh, I need to come out with something even more clever than White Russian Mix. White Russian Mix is good, dude. Someone hit me up this weekend and they were like, I'm at a bar right now and they have, like someone DM'd me a video and they zoomed in and they just have white, like someone

had white Russian mixes and it's just, it's just glasses of milk. Yeah. And it says like white Russian. They do it for eggnog too. They'll come in like glass bottles of eggnog and it costs like $20 cause it's a glass bottle. You can return the glass bottle for like three bucks. Yeah. It's fucking crazy.

We can seriously upcharge for the glass bottle. I think we actually got to do it. Yeah. I don't know how we get this done though. I don't know who we would talk to. Gaz? E? E?

Maybe you bring it up in your negotiation. Bro, I don't have a negotiation for like at least another year. We can't wait that long. We need this by the holidays. I'm waiting, dude. I want to show my patience. You want to show your loyalty. My loyalty to the brand. Yes, dude. I love the by the holidays. I'm waiting, dude. I want to show my patience. You want to show your loyalty. My loyalty to the brand.

Yes, dude. I love the brand. Yeah. Look, dude, if Dave gives me one of his watches, I'll throw away my Fitbit and I'll be a, what is it called? Brick watch. Yeah. I'll be a brick watch man for life.

Brick your fit with brick watches. Yeah. No, dude, I'm pumped. I'm happy for him. I like the one with the white bezel. Yeah, that was nice. I feel like that goes with anything it does it really it could dress up a suit i think i'm i think that was some that was some balls beachwear bro throw me in a brick watch with some Balls Beachwear. Sipping on a transfusion.

Now you're talking about a day in paradise. I like to mix my transfusion with some Pink Whitney though. Me too. That's how much I love the brand. It's underrated. I like to throw on my ugly Christmas sweater, some Balls Beachwear shorts, transfusion, mix with the Pink Whitney, and throw on some shady race. Throw on some Mean Girls in the background. Shady Rays. Throw on some Mean Girls

in the background. Yeah. Now we're talking. Throw on the Mean Girls theme song. Now we got a party on our hands. Dude, you should come up

with a Mean Girls theme song the same way you got one for Shady Rays. Do-na-na-na-na-na Mean Girls. What is that? Something like that. I don't know.

Like the fucking Mean Girls. Sounds like something, dude. Seinfeld? girls what is that something like that i don't know like the uh fucking mean girls sounds like something dude who are you stealing from seinfeld yeah maybe friends no but there's no oh yeah was that what it was i just did both what's another what's another sitcom that 70s show they're freaks and geeks i'm thinking of freaks and geeks mean girls how does the freaks and geeks. I'm thinking of freaks and geeks. Mean girls. How does the freaks and geeks one go? It's just a song. I'm a very freaky geek. Yeah, that's it.

I'm a freaking, freaking geek. That loves to wear bare bottoms. Oh, we got bare bottoms? Bare bottoms, all right. I actually love bare bottom. And if you know one thing about me, I fucking wear bare bottoms all the time. love bare bottom and if you know one thing about me i fucking wear bare bottoms all the time i'm actually wearing them right freaking now bare bottoms fit is crazy these are the best sweatpants i own by a mile and i actually this

is a new pair i have the other green pair but they just sent me another one this one's actually a little darker in shade and uh i i am obsessed with these pants if you know something about me is that you know that I love neutral layers. And Bare Bottom just sent me a long sleeve black t-shirt, long sleeve white t-shirt. Perfect neutral layers for this time of the year. White and a black goes with anything. And I don't know what the blend is, but they got some kind of sweet ass blend. They sent me some like joggers, but they're like a nice pair of joggers that you could kind of

dress up, wear out for a night on the town. A nice deep blue. They got the good colors, the good fabrics, and the good fits. And I haven't even started looking at the copy yet. I'm just going off the tipping about how I feel about Bare Bottom, one of the most popular clothing brands with

guys at Barstool. Not just at the office, but at home, and when I'm traveling. And you know I miss the hood when I'm traveling. I would say it's definitely the most popular brand of clothing on this show. For rocking bare bottom like every day. All the time. All the time. Genuinely.

Not even bussing with the boys right now. We don't buss with the boys. I'm not bussing with the boys. I genuinely wear bare bottom every single day. And I genuinely miss the hood when I'm traveling. Traveling for the boys. I genuinely wear bare bottom every single day. And I genuinely miss the hood when I'm traveling. Traveling for the holidays. Wait, what? I miss the hood when I'm traveling.

That one went over my head. Yeah, it's just freeway, bro. You're not a real Philly guy. Continue, continue. You don't have what it takes to rock the mic, right? Made for comfort. Wear anywhere styles with minimal logos branding that make getting ready for your day super easy and i can't stress that enough the minimal logo you're not trying to be a walking

billboard for bare bottom that's our job you don't have to sell it to other people we'll sell it to you i just got i just got this this little tag it's a tiny tag right there in the pocket little tag this is bare bottom just a friendly. I wouldn't even mind if this tag was bigger. Yeah. Well, you have that. They have that room to play with. Fucking triple in size. Yeah. Jack that thing up. Yeah. Don't miss out on their annual one day

only 11-11 sale coming up on this Friday, November 11th. Plus their limited edition Good Boy T just went live with proceeds supporting Southeastern Guide Dogs, a nonprofit that trains elite service dogs for veterans. I love veterans. I love veterans and I love dogs. Isn't that funny?

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It is sleek. It is sleek. If I threw it through the air, it'd be aerodynamic. It would probably just defy the laws of physics and keep ripping through the air. That's how aerodynamic it is. Very nice. You could throw it and mock one, probably. You could, couldn't you?

But I'd never mock one myself because they look so goddamn good. Fucking shit, my man. Brother, you got to go to fucking Hell's Kitchen, huh? I haven't been back in the kitchen in a... Is that where it is? Fortnite. Brother, you got to go to fucking Hell's Kitchen, huh? I do. I haven't been back in the kitchen in a... Is that where it is? Fortnite. 50th Street or whatever?

56th. Fuck. Oh, it's a bad area. Damn. It's a dangerous area. Damn. Probably for you. You probably just got your...

That's my old hood, dude. Your little coffee slapped out of your hand every morning. I don't drink coffee. You know that. I only drink Red Bull and Celsius. Why is that? Why do you drink... Like a man. Why do you drink those weird ass manufactured... Because I don't drink coffee. You know that. I only drink Red Bull and Celsius. Why is that? Why do you drink? Like a man.

Why do you drink those weird ass manufactured? Because I can't drink coffee. It'll give me a panic attack. But these probably give you low-key panic attacks too. Not at all. These make me feel sharp,

good, healthy. Speeds up my metabolism. If you go to code, if you go to Celsius.com. No. Put this for Bryce Hall pair this with the other Bryce Hall clip that you had

bro you know I'm drinking Annie's I'm drinking Primes why are you putting it all together also I feel like if you drink this it's speeding up your metabolism just means that you poop sand I have to take a shit right now and you're yawning

wow it seems like these are working really well. I think I've had too many rains. It seems like the rain just sped up your fucking... I think I've had too many fucking anti-energies, dude. I'm freaking out. Going to the hospital because you're overdosing on Logan Paul's prime energies. What the fuck was in that prime, dude? Getting like a class action suit.

100 milligrams of caffeine. You see Logan went to bat for the Stool and Stars? No, I didn't. It sounds like Logan. He had a video with Jake's prime, whatever drink it is. He had to blur out all the logos. And Jake was pissed. And he started throwing shit at him and Mike during the last podcast.

He's like, hey, I'm a Barstool ambassador, man. I have to follow the rules. And block out your logo. Jake Paul. Logan's an ambassador. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Logan is.

Logan is why we all are in the poorhouse. Because Logan is making like $700 million a year. I saw him running out of the office with money stuffed in his t-shirt laughing like a Batman villain. Like, ah! I got to get myself one of those deals. How are you going to get it? I don't know. I got to figure something out.

I'm dying for a nice $700 million deal. You got to leverage your situation. Per year. You stop leveraging, dude. You need to start leveraging your situation against other situations. I don't need to leverage, bro. Hey, I know you want me to work for you, but sorry, I work at Barstool right now. I'm going to, yeah.

I'm going to start pitching myself other places. Yeah. Just so I can get offers, then come back to you. Amazon just offered me $800 million a year. Yeah, if we're talking about a Gillian Wallow playbook. If we're talking about Gillian Wallow, we should just become a Gillian Wallow review podcast where we watch their

episodes and we react to them. It would probably do numbies. It would. It would be like the biggest, it would be the second biggest hip hop podcast in the world. Just white dudes talking about Gillian Wallow? Have you ever seen those accounts that just react to songs? Oh, that songs that they've never heard before? Those are awesome.

Those are awesome. And for some reason, they're so entertaining. I plan, if I ever have kids, to keep them in the dark about all good music until they get their YouTube page. So they can always just be like, this Phil Collins is crazy. Or if you just have an old person in your family,

you can just be like, my dying grandfather reacts to Drake's new album your family you can just be like my dying grandfather reacts to drake's new album and you just go oh this is pretty good it's like 700 billion views my dying grandfather looks at high heels yeah what are these i've never seen why is it spiky? It looks like it's severe. A knife, not a heel. Have you listened to the new Driz? The new Aubrey? Like 10 times. Really?

I didn't listen to it. Why not? I'm off the Aubrey right now. Why? I'm back on the Elliot Smith. Oh, it is the season. It is, yeah. But Aubrey, I mean.

I'd say it'd make it perfect. I don't know the words. Is that an Elliot Smith song? Yeah Follow me down to the Rose Parade Elliot Smith is so good It's a shame that he was murdered Who killed him?

His girl Happens to the best of us No He got reverse Pistorius No he killed himself Oh really? Yeah But there's some us no he got reversed pastoreist now he killed himself oh really yeah yeah but there's some theories that he that he got murdered and it doesn't the theories are not good oh there's something around you

that song is actually about the city of los angeles really i don't fucking know i'm big on back back on the Elliott Smith, and I'm back on the Springsteen, and I'm, oh, I've never been back as hard as I am on the Dylan right now. What about Chili Peppers? You don't fuck with Chili Peppers, huh? I like the Chili Peppers, but I've never been, like, super into them. Can't stop a dick to the shindig. Yeah, shit like that. Yeah, that's a good song.

Yeah. Their shit's about heroin. Yeah. Sometimes I feel like I Their shit's about heroin. Yeah. Sometimes I feel like I'm all out of heroin. Sometimes I feel like the needle's my only friend. So I jam in my veins. And now I'm feeling pretty high.

I respect dudes who do heroin. Do they do heroin? The chili peppers? Of course. Oh, yeah. Yeah? Big time? Big time.

I didn't know they were such rock stars. Dude, Dave Navarro is one of the craziest stories of all time. But his parents. What was it? They got killed right in front of him. They got killed? Isn't that Dave Navarro? Sounds like you're talking about Dexter right now. Dexter Morgan.

You're talking about Batman right now. Yeah. Is Dave Navarro Batman? A child born in blood. I'm like 99% sure that his parents got killed right in front of him by some dude and the dude let him live. I could be totally wrong. Yeah.

And now he's like a serial killer, but like he only kills bad people. And hosts an ink show. He let him live? You can't ever. That's also Kill Bill, right? You can't let the kid live. That's what happens in Dexter Yeah and Kill Bill I've never seen Kill Bill

Tarantino? Yeah Wow you didn't watch it? I don't really support that pervert That N-word user Yeah He goes out of his way To write an N-word

Into every one of his scripts And put feet into them Yeah Yeah What can you do? Now he's pissed that people are making documentaries about it. About Navarro?

About Navarro's parents getting whacked. You think people are making documentaries about it? Yeah. Damn. I didn't know they were rock stars like that

until I watched the Woodstock 99 documentary and they're just swinging cock on stage. That was Flea. You what? That was Flea. Flea?

Flea. The bassist was, I think he was the one that got naked. Flea. No, I think they all were naked. Were they? Yeah.

Whole team. They were all naked, yeah. Flea is, I guess, always getting naked. There was Dick just fly, flopping around on stage. Big dicks, too. They got fucking hammers. Yeah.

You don't write a song like Under the Bridge unless you got a fucking hammer. They're definitely injecting heroin into their cock their cock veins yeah right into the urethra franklin's fucking love aretha franklin yeah but i'm back on the dylan springsteen elliot a little bit of jim croak so how do you pronounce croachy jim croachy A little bit of Jim Croke.

How do you pronounce that? Croche. Jim Croche. Croke? A little bit of Jim Croche. You know what to do, Stooley. Yeah, clip that. Get that out. Everywhere.

Almost everywhere. What does Jim Croke sing? Box number 10. What else? Box number 10, brother. It's a banger. How's it go? Time in a Bottle?

Oh, Bad, Bad Leroy Brown. No, i'm forgetting how it goes bad bad leroy brown we're basically a music podcast more so than gillian wallow are we are they talk about it we review songs that have been famous for at least 40 years and they might bring you the hottest new music but we'll bring you some hot they might have very insightful things to say about good new music, but we like to talk about the most famous songs of all time and say, that's a good song. They might have empowering things to say about the youth. Dude, Under the Bridge is actually a really good song. Yo, this podcast is crazy.

I've been waiting for some spicy hot takes like this. We need to come out here and be like Taylor Swift actually sucks And I don't wash my hands Just kidding bro I gotta call collect cause I ain't got a cent to my name I've been sleeping in the hotel doorway And tonight they say it's gonna rain You know that song?

No It's a good song You should listen to it Sounds like I just did Alright dude Well since we have no more ads left I guess we should just end the show Because there's not even any point

Of fucking keeping recording Well we If we're not actively making money This show is just a vessel This is the content To serve the ads See dude I wanna do just

Straight content You know I wanna do straight ads Yeah That's where we differ. And that's why Josh Allen could never come on this show, bro. Because he's gay now. Because he's gay. Facts. Don't say that about

Josh, dude. Why? He's got a loving family. But what do you think they're going to think when they hear this? No, but what's wrong with him being gay? Josh, this isn't real, is it? How is that an insult for him to be gay as fuck? Is he married? No. He isn't? No. He's married to the game. He is married to the game. And to a big

pole that he can suck on. Yeah. It sounds like, oh, I forgot you're an Eagles fan. You're a little worried. You're kind of hoping that Josh Allen's... After watching them against the Jets, I'm not that worried. Okay. I'm more worried about... Who are the Eagles playing this week? Or do they have another bye? They have a Monday night game.

That team plays once a month. Monday night game. Who are they playing? Commanders. Who do you got? That sucks. The Eagles are going to destroy the Commanders. Ain't even a chance. 10 point favorites. Maybe 11 at this point. I think this is just a long setup for Philly

to just be let down again. You guys are so good so early. Why would you say that? Oh, no. Because the Eagles, when they won the Super Bowl, went ass the whole year, and then they won, and then the Phillies. Ass the whole year? How were they ass the whole year?

When you guys beat us in the Super Bowl? How were they ass? You guys are like the sixth seed. Sixth seed? No, we're the one seed. Oh, for real? Yeah, we're the one seed. Maybe it was Phillies.

My bad, my bad, my bad. You guys... Connor. Connor Mook's got my back. We, uh, yeah. Do you think it's going to be the Bills-Eagles, or do you think it's going to be the Eagles-Vikings? Vikings and Eagles can't play each other, unfortunately.

Vikings have four... I don't know how that shit works. Vikings have four hard games in a row. So I think the Vikings are about to fall off. I think 49ers are scarier. How many divisions are there? Or conferences? Eight divisions.

Two conferences. Four conferences per division. Very interesting. Yeah. See you live, you learn. The Patriots are pretty

good. Ravens are pretty good. The Patriots are all right. Mac Jones is back though. Yeah, Mac is back. Salute to him.

Print the fucking shirts. Great guy. Don't worry, be zappy, Mac is back. Salute to him. Print the fucking shirts. Great guy. Don't worry B-Zappy, Mac is back. The Chiefs are good. Titans are good. Chiefs aren't that good. I like that we're talking about sports though. They're not that good.

My bills destroyed them. These are the hot takes that people crave. We might be lukewarm with our takes about the Foo Fighters or whatever. We might tell you that a song you already know by The Killers to be a famous song. We might tell you the most streamed song of all time is actually good. But we'll tell you that a football team that's good actually stinks. They're just not as good as the Bills.

I'm just trying to talk Super Bowl, bro. What are we thinking? Bill's Eagles? If the Bills even make it. It depends on if my boy J.H. is hurt or not. Yeah. If he's not way too focused on S and a D. Yeah, S and a D.

He should be reading a D, not S and a D, bro. The fuck, bro? That ain't right. Reading a defense. That's what I meant. Sucking a dick. I don't know. I know what you mean, bro.

Kind of had to explain that. Well, let's just pray this doesn't get back to Josh. That's all I got to say. All right. Well, I bet it's going to. And you pushed him out of the closet. I did not. You did.

You're the one who said that he's out. Crazy accusations. You're the one who said he'll be out for the next month. You said he's going to be out for the next month. And you said Big Cat told you that. So now I'm putting you and Big Cat under the bus. We're both in the jackpot. All right.

Well, we'll see you guys next week. Well, see you guys next week. Bye.