Son of a Boy Dad - Saltwater Funny | Son of a Boy Dad #214

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

Saltwater Funny | Son of a Boy Dad #214 -- HUGE episode: Sas recaps Wyoming, Rone recaps Japan, & Francis recaps the Hamptons -- Ad: Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE at https://Fitbod....me/BOYDAD -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Thanks to Keeps for sponsoring this podcast! Hair loss stops with Keeps. For a special offer to get started, go to https://www.keeps.com/soabd. Results may vary. Not offered in every state. Medications prescribed only if clinically appropriate, consultation required.” -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

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Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I think if Leo and Toby McGuire are at a party, it is not horrible. Yeah, that is automatically like. Maybe save this save. Can you save this part for the show well don't all right but I want to hear about Toby McGuire yeah all right already welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast today it is June 8th we are live from HQ 3 and we are back in the studio I'm happy to see you boys. I fucking miss you boys with my whole heart. I can't believe it how far apart we've all been.
Starting point is 00:00:50 It's been two weeks. It feels like two weeks. Actually, it feels just like two weeks. It feels like two weeks on the dot. Yeah, except that we were scattered to the far corners of the globe doing such different things with our lives. That's true. And I felt unmoored.
Starting point is 00:01:06 Mm. What's more? Wasn't King Lear was a moor? No. No, I mean unmoored as in untethered, untied. Wasn't more a Shakespearean word for a black man? It was. Yes, the moors. Yeah. So you feel unmoored. You feel white. Othello was the moor. Othello.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Yeah. I knew it. Thank you for saving me because they would have been on my head Yes, they would have they had what they would have been a foe is a boy that doesn't get that much love But I actually quite like it. It's good Yes, the game a fellow the game is great, too But I think they change they changed the name of that Because I think it had some reference to the pieces being black and white Ah good guys bad guys. That's what it used to be called. You guys hear that the
Starting point is 00:01:54 Cops and robbers You guys hear that the phrase Elephant in the room has racist origins. How so? I can't even say it. It was originally called N-Word in the Woodpile. Oh no. So every time you've been saying Elephant in the Room, which I know we love to say, we've been classically racist.
Starting point is 00:02:19 I actually listened to Elephant in the Room, the specials last night. Yo! Whose special was that? Patrice O'Neil. That's Patrice. That's a classic. Yeah. We listened to it on the drive back from the special. Yo! Last night. Whose special was that? Patrice O'Neil. That's Patrice, that's a classic. Yeah, we listened to it on the drive back from Wyoming. So he's allowed to say it. He's allowed to say Elephant. I believe so.
Starting point is 00:02:32 This elephant. Monkey Bars is a pretty controversial one as well. Or at least they tried to make it out to be, which I don't really understand. What is it? I guess it was racist. I mean- When I was in Swarow, I guess I was out of elementary school. Well, I prefer Monkey Bars. I prefer like sort of black owned establishments and night clubs, but-
Starting point is 00:02:49 They tried to call- they tried to change it to a horizontal ladder. Oh, you're talking- oh, the structure. Ah. The uh- the- the uh- a monkey actually swings from things though. Yeah, exactly. That's why I didn't understand why- It's actually racist to call it racist. That's exactly what I thought when they said that. I was like, you're making it seem racist by changing the name.
Starting point is 00:03:11 That's the anatomical behavior of a monkey. You're doing exactly what a monkey would do or a black person. Yeah. Do they? I don't. Well, actually in New York, I mean, the most jack dudes are the guys who go and do like pull ups
Starting point is 00:03:27 Oh, yeah, like reverse pull ups and shit like that and then there'll be white influencers who try to go like work out with them I used to watch those videos all the time of like the military dudes doing that where they do like a flag pull That's got to be like the most impressive. It's crazy. Strength. The lats. Strength. Is that where yeah, where does that engage? I think it's all in your lats and your core. Is that where, yeah, where does that engage? Your core. I think it's all your lats and your core. Really? Arms, shoulders, core. You have to have insane core strength to be able to hold yourself up like a flag. How long do you think that would take you to get to flag status? Francis? I think some people just can't do that.
Starting point is 00:03:57 I wouldn't be, I think I'm too long. You got to be really stout. You would have to be absurdly strong to be able to pull that off at your size. What if I train for it? How long will you give me? Two years? No, that's too long. I think you can do it in six months. I think I can do it in six months.
Starting point is 00:04:13 I don't think you can. I think you would go to, like, I think it's one of those things, like, you would have to go to try to do it and then you'd be like, oh, I can't even get one foot off the ground. And then you'd have to start working out intensely for years, and then you'd be able to try it again, and maybe you'd be a little closer. I think I'm closer than you'd think. He's got the core and the genetics for it.
Starting point is 00:04:34 I don't think so. Was your dad an athlete? Yep. What did he play? Football. Nice. Football's coming up. What was his name, Wingback?
Starting point is 00:04:42 They did the... Wing T? Yes. They just snapped the ball right to back? He was a they they they did the wingt. Yes They just snapped the ball right to him and he ran. Yeah. Yeah, it was it was uh, what was the single? What's the name of that formation? Power eye wingt. It's not the wingt like the jet sweep like when they snap it right to a running back He was a fullback. Oh, oh wildcat. I guess it's wildcat, but he wasn't quarterback He was a fullback. Oh, Wildcat. I guess it's Wildcat, but he wasn't quarterback.
Starting point is 00:05:05 Yeah, I don't know, but I could see it makes a lot of sense. And he was probably the man, because that's probably before football had everybody in it. Yeah, that's right. They didn't wear helmets back then. Really? No, they were just out there cracking skulls. No, he was wearing a helmet.
Starting point is 00:05:32 skulls no he was wearing a helmet well I was the whole time I was thinking I was like I don't think your dad how old is your dad nobody knows nobody knows leather helmets what was the point of leather helmets anyway in case you fell off your motorcycle on the way to the game? If you needed to go home on your motorcycle and your sidecar Or you were flying a biplane Yeah, Amelia Earhart Offer supplies the fucking wide out. The craziest one to me is like in comparison is old hockey Cuz it's all like like all these Wayne Gretzky stats and you're like Well, then you look at the get you look at the footage of when he was playing and it's like yeah
Starting point is 00:06:09 No, no wonder he had so many goals the goalie had no pads Like in today's hockey the goalies take up almost the entire goal. It's a wonder anyone scores Yeah, and then it was just like a dude just standing there like going full starfish Hoping the hoping the puck bounces off of his wrist. His legs skinnier than mine. If you watch Wayne Gretzky goal highlights from the early days in his career, you're kind of like, nobody even tried to stop him. Oh no. They're like long haired, toothless drunk guys.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Everyone was hammered. It was like everyone was drunk and he was not even at the age where he could drink yet. So that's why he was so much better than everyone else. But the flip side is that people would hit him incredibly illegally. Oh yeah, that's not surprising. But then there'd be like whole lines, like most, there's some teams that just could fight. Like there's some teams, they weren't even good hockey players. They just were good at fighting on skates.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Have you guys watched that documentary on the, you've seen it the untold one where the thing is in Connecticut Yeah, the Danbury trash. Yeah, have you seen that? I don't think so. It's probably one of the best their whole their whole thing Was just we're just gonna beat the shit out of people like they would they would fight people like opening puck drop Really like just as soon as they drop the puck They would just like kill some guy to send him to the hospital and then they but then they were also good I think the Brochery bullies flyers teams like went into the crowd and like fought people multiple times. Yeah Yeah, the Bruins had had a couple where they went into the they went into the stands That's so crazy that they would do that. Yeah. Tied Domi. Yeah that happened in Philly. It was like a guy
Starting point is 00:07:44 Oh, yeah. What was he like squirting? He squirted water? No, Tide Dome squirted the water over and then he was in the penalty box. And then the guy started like trying to grab him. Then that guy like fell in. Ass crack first. And it's like, dude, you just fell
Starting point is 00:07:56 into the fucking bear den. Yeah, that's Harambe level. There are very few places I would less want to be than in a penalty box With my feet in the air and my head under the fucking metal bench with tie Domi pulling my fucking alpaca sweater over my head beating the shit out of me. The craziest thing is that there's someone's job is to just sit in there with the dude I know and I looked at I finally looked it up because I was wondering what that was
Starting point is 00:08:23 Apparently it's just so they keep track of when they're going when they can open the door and let them out that makes sense but still because you watch the clips and it's like fucking I Don't know some like someone will get a penalty and then they'll go into the law They'll go into the penalty box and they'll be like throwing water bottles around and then the camera pans over and there's just a dude Just standing there with a headset on Or like there's like an announcer that's in there sometimes to a sideline reporter type of dude with a suit jacket Yeah, I'm surprised they don't have a sniper in the rafters to like they probably do just like a tranquilizer gun Yeah, they shoot the person like a lion if a kid falls into the cage
Starting point is 00:09:01 type of shit type shit Type shit type shit type shit type shit yeah fuck yeah misty boys what the fuck have you guys been up to let's start with let's start with hairball I don't really have much to say I don't buy it we're gonna find out more we're gonna really that's not up to you brother there wasn't that much crazy shit that happened it was pretty easy going doesn't have to be crazy shit tell me about coloring the lines for us you went to Montana to go fishing no Wyoming
Starting point is 00:09:28 exactly now you're teaching us we went to Wyoming and yeah it was the fishing was insane it was the the first day was pretty rough because we got out there at like 330 p.m. and then we fished for like four hours, three hours maybe. And it was, the first place that we went to was in a canyon. So you gotta like walk down this like insanely steep canyon and then you gotta walk up it. And on the way up, I was so unbelievably out of breath, like wheezing for air. And we got back to
Starting point is 00:10:06 our tent and I was genuinely like I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do this trip it's like I genuinely I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do this entire thing well you act like how tired I was for this trip well I was and then I didn't yeah yeah so much as one stair master no I went through a single stair yeah that was the thing is I would go to the gym and I would just do weights Yeah. You didn't so much as one stair master. No, I went through. You didn't master a single stair. Yeah, that was the thing is I would go to the gym and I would just do weights. And I'd be like, this'll do it, this'll help.
Starting point is 00:10:30 And then I got out there. Just practicing a weighted pass. Yeah. I was like, well, I'm definitely stronger, but my cardio is still fucking, I still get out of breath when I do three sets of eight on the bench press, so. I knew it was gonna be trouble when I was-
Starting point is 00:10:43 But you shouldn't. I was gassed going downhill. going down into the canyon I was completely winded sweating through my I sweat through my rain jacket one day how is that possible I don't know that's like a deep that's a defective it was a bad rain jacket rain jacket was a completely is a complete disaster shouldn't they prevent water from wicking through yeah I think the only good rain jackets the ones that like the old sailors wear where it's like just rubber. Yeah, the yellow ones.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Slickers. Because I have an Orvis rain jacket and it holds up when it's like drizzling, but when it rains out there, it rains really hard and it went completely through. You know who's gonna be happy to hear this? Sorry to cut you off. Is the good people over at Patagonia because when you went into Patagonia No, Patagonia is aren't good either. Yeah, but you were walking into Patagonia being like I got fucking or this dude I'll never feel rain on my skin. Well. I did say that storm gear ultra light storm gear and
Starting point is 00:11:39 I think the best ones are the north. I think they're north face I got it. I got a shout out being here big bean guy myself Oh, they make a great rain jack. I'll check it out I'm in the market for a new one right now because mine just did not get the job done at all Well, you're never gonna be a more rain than like two minutes as you walk from your uber to your apartment I know I kind of feel like I feel like I gotta I gotta keep this up I feel good. Like I was getting like 20 steps a day for a week straight, 20,000 steps a day for a week straight,
Starting point is 00:12:10 and I felt great. And we were eating just home-cooked meals every night, so I feel good, but I know tonight it's just gonna be Chick-fil-A, fucking Uber Eatsing, gummy bears. You always go back from vacation. Just straight to the slop. And you're like, I'm gonna fucking,
Starting point is 00:12:27 I'm gonna make a change for the better. Yeah. I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna come back, I'm gonna fucking lose eight pounds this week, I'm gonna fucking eat healthy, eat right, cook for myself, eat some veggies, get back on the grind. I just had a Lenwich today. I'm just eating like a fat slop.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Yesterday I had a breakfast, an egg sandwich sandwich and then McDonald's and then Chipotle But we were driving so there's really nothing else to do you pull over and you cook pull over your catch what you fucking eat Yeah, we didn't need any you only ate one fish the whole trip why because The first place we went to we had a shit ton of food We had like ground beef and stuff and we were like this is gonna go bad if we don't eat it So we have to eat it So it's not and also was in the canyons we would have had to carry the fish up Like a 45 minute hike so that would have been bad by then unless we had them on in a cooler or something
Starting point is 00:13:14 What fish there's no way fish go bad like you can go back pretty fast. No, that's fine Forty five would have been especially if they're that fresh. Yeah Yeah 45 in the hot Sun. Yeah. Yeah bake them What do you think is all the rest of the fish you're eating is going through when it like well You're supposed to keep it on a stringer You keep what you kill them and you put them on a stringer and you keep them in the water But like all the fish that you eat isn't going like even if it's factory farm There's no way that it's just going right from the water to where however they kill it to fucking ice I think it is and it's actually exactly what it is. Maybe I'm wrong
Starting point is 00:13:48 Dude, I'll get to my my Japan story stories in a little bit But they were serving fish where the like there's like old Japanese lady being like everything you eat eat the head Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I just bit the head off right in there. Was it good? The head? Yeah. No! The fucking head of a fish! People always say like the eye. Isn't the eye supposed to be very good? I mean, I know the cheeks are I was trying to get to the cheeks I know they're nice, but there I was just yeah eating the whole fish just like a bear
Starting point is 00:14:17 I don't know. It was fucking nasty damn, but that makes me think that I mean they were only like this big though, too Yeah, I wonder what it was. Mackerel? River fish. Bluegill? River trout? I think it might have been. It might have been.
Starting point is 00:14:34 That just disappoints me that you didn't eat the fish. We're not out there eating whole fish right from the river. We ate one brown trout at lunch when we were in the canyon where everybody just made a little fire and cooked it up. And that was amazing. That was great. But I only had like one bite of it, but it was really, because it was small. That's the thing too, is that there's regulations. So because then, so the first half of the trip, we could have kept fish the first half of the trip,
Starting point is 00:14:56 but then the second half, you can only keep brook trout, which are kind of hard to catch in a place that's filled with brown trout and cutthroat trout. So our last night at that spot, we were like, because we found this one spot, we were catching brook trout all day and we were like, let's go back here at the end of the week and let's catch brook trout and have like a big, let's make fish tacos. And didn't get a single bite that entire time. We literally we caught fish the entire week, all week, all day and then the one time we were like let's go catch fish to cook didn't even get a bite the whole time. Damn. Yes that sucked.
Starting point is 00:15:35 You said there are people regulating. Who would have regulated if you had eaten one of the fish? There's like park rangers and like game wardens like all over that area. Will they come up and like check your belly? No, but they like if you get busted, it's like a huge fine and they take all of your gear. Yeah. And the spirit of the fisherman is one of adhering to, you know, regulations in order to help preserve the fishery. Exactly. What? So that keeps it big enough for someone else to catch
Starting point is 00:16:02 and eat someday? We know people like catch and release people do because then you can go back and those fish are still there. We know that for every fish that we put back that could be a hundred more trout that we could catch next time. Exactly. That is a beautiful spirit and a nice sentiment. Did you really catch 65 fish?
Starting point is 00:16:27 Yeah, probably. You and individually? Yeah. That's excellent. If I had to guess, because it was, okay, so we fished Sunday. Sunday I caught a brown trout. I was like, man, my goal for this trip is to,
Starting point is 00:16:39 I want to catch a brown trout. I've never caught a brown trout before. My second cast, I caught a brown trout. And I was like, well, I kind of defeated the goal of the trip So I caught two trout the first day the second day I probably caught like 13 Holy shit, but we only fished for a couple hours the first day I see and then the second day was just like the morning was pretty slow Like when we went to lunch and we stopped for lunch,
Starting point is 00:17:06 I had only caught one fish and my friends had both caught like three. And cause I was fishing behind them the whole time and they were like, you gotta jump in front of us. And then it just like turned on. And it was like every single cast you would catch a fish. It was incredible. Damn.
Starting point is 00:17:20 And you're like in and you're in a canyon and you were so far down. Do you have any pictures of it? Yeah, I do. I'll show them to you guys, but. What is that called when you're really in the zone like that in fishing? Flow state.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Is it, yeah, is it in the snap? I don't know. I think it's called in the snap. I think you will just say when the fishing turns on. When you're really in a snap like that, and they're on the fly before it hits the water. Well, that's the best part about fly fishing, is when you throw a dry fly,
Starting point is 00:17:54 and it hits the water and it instantly hit it. You're in the snap. When I'm in a snap, if I have a dry fly that gets wet, I don't count that for my tally You would have that's how you would have been a mess out there. I wouldn't have eaten you would have ground beef I'll tell you that much. Yeah, you're eating ground beef care if that goes bad We're eating Browns and lakes and all kinds of trout now. We didn't catch any lake trout. We didn't fish in any lakes well, you sometimes they cross over but
Starting point is 00:18:26 That's an evolutionary thing. Yeah, they get... All waterways are connected. That's how the troglodyte became... I actually wonder if they do. They might cross over. They do. Of course they do. You can't step in the same river twice as Pocahontas said. Exactly. I think their name is called Pocahontas.
Starting point is 00:18:38 We didn't see any bears, which was good. We saw a lot of moose. A ton of moose. You see pictures of them? Yeah, I got pictures of moose. Vicious. It's pretty creepy, because there's one area we were in. So the second half of the trip, we went to this area, and my friend was like, this is moose country. Like, you gotta be very aware, you gotta like make a lot of noise
Starting point is 00:18:56 when you're walking through the- Bow? Yeah, when you're walking through the bushes and stuff, because you could just like walk in front of a moose. And we, like the whole time, I was like, I would make noise, I would just sing singing the Beatles mmm trying to get them I think I was singing me a taste I don't remember what I was now something a little more upbeat but Look at her writing a song that nobody will hear. What does it mean, Father Mackenzie?
Starting point is 00:19:29 Ah, look at all the lonely people. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. That's why you couldn't use Francis. Shut up, sass. So the first day that we were out on this river, the first day we were out on this river on the second half of the trip, we were walking back to the car to make lunch
Starting point is 00:19:48 and we saw a dude fishing and then we saw a moose like five feet away from him just in a bush. So you could just see the antlers. Did you tell him? Yeah, we went up and we were like, there's a moose like right there. The rack. Yeah, and he was like, oh, I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:20:03 It was pretty crazy. Could he, so what could have happened, worst case scenario scenario? I think you have charged him. They stamp you. Yeah, they'll they'll just stomp on you Stop on your cranium. They're not like they don't they won't attack you if like if you make noise, they'll run away They're scared of humans But I've seen the videos where like someone will be by moose and the moose will like kind of like yeah Bucket them and then you do just have to like go onto the ground and like act like you're, you act play dead or play like you already got trampled? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:29 I think people say that you can play dead with grizzly bears. I was pretty worried about grizzlies. I don't think that's the right idea with grizzlies. Well, I think that really isn't a right idea. The only thing you're supposed to, you can really do is go on your back and put your hands over your neck,
Starting point is 00:20:43 which gives you like a small percentage of living. On your back or your stomach? Or on your stomach. Yeah, yeah. Everyone says you shouldn't climb a tree. I still think I'm climbing a tree. Yeah. Well, no.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Bears climb trees. Have you ever seen a video of bears climbing trees? Some do. Some do. Not all of them. Black bears, I know, climb trees. I knew you were going to say that. Black bears are not scary, though.
Starting point is 00:21:03 You invite a black bear over and you smoke a stogie with one. Yeah black bears are still scary or you probably a menthol Yeah, I mean menthol and they're very good at climbing trees. They're always doing those workouts on the street Yes, yeah, it was it was pretty sick so what did you do all day though? We literally just finished all and what so what do all day though? We literally just fished all day. So what did you talk about? We didn't really talk. It was like, the first place we fished, you're really not fishing together.
Starting point is 00:21:33 You're fishing in a line, but you're pretty spread out and you're kind of leapfrogging, going to new holes. And then the second place we went to, you can kind of fish together better. So that was cool. Who likes it the least? I don't know. Definitely not me.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Cause I was like, we were driving home yesterday and I was like, we should stop at this river right here and just get a couple casts in. You start crying on the way home. Yeah. The last day we were, last day, but cause we were staying in a hotel the last night
Starting point is 00:22:01 and we were like, it was like, we got up at like eight, drove down to the river, got off the mountain that we were like it was like we got up at like eight drove down to the river got off the mountain that we were at and we were like we're gonna fish this river until we can check into the hotel and at that point everyone had such bad poison ivy we casted we'd casted like three times and we were like let's get the fuck out I got to go to this hotel how'd you guys get poison ivy you were barefooting around I barefooted the first day with, I wore Teevas. And,
Starting point is 00:22:27 Why? Because I, you're wet waiting, so you can just get your, you don't wanna, I didn't bring shoes that I wanted to get wet. You didn't bring waders? No, it's too hot to wear waders out there. Damn. So, then the second day I was like,
Starting point is 00:22:41 I'm not doing that, because my feet got destroyed from just like cutting it up on rocks and stuff So I wore I just wore my hiking boots and wore my Teeva's as my dry shoes But that's a good switch, but uh, so how'd you get the poison ivy then? I think I got it from the first. I don't know. I really don't know how I got it I got it pretty bad your skin is Paper mache. No, I didn't get it. I wasn't the worst one that got it my friend I don't care. You always got something wrong with your skin.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Yeah, your skin was the problem. My poison ivy didn't kick in until like two days ago. Yeah? And it's been bad. But we had to go to urgent care halfway through the trip because my friend Matt got it all on his face. He woke, he was like, he was like, I think I got poison ivy on my face.
Starting point is 00:23:22 And we were like, no, you don't. You're like, you're just being paranoid. And then he woke up the next morning and his jaw was like extended, like one foot out from his face. So we had to go to an urgent care in like this, in a town that probably has a population of like 100 people. And it took like two hours for him to get prescribed.
Starting point is 00:23:47 It's pretty simple, right? You go and you're like, I have poison ivy on my face and they're like, here, we're gonna prescribe you steroids and this ointment. We're gonna need to see your dicks. Yeah, yeah. And dude, then we went to, we went to go pick up the prescription and it was literally just called,
Starting point is 00:23:58 it was called a prescription store. That was the name of the pharmacy. And they gave him the ointment in a pill bottle. It's a pill bottle that's just filled with cream to the top they must just have a tub of it in the back and they just like scoop it out and yeah that's how he got it so we were just passing that around for the rest of the week so you were using it too yeah they said we could he has it on his face and you're using like half of his ointment no No, I didn't use a lot of it. He had the steroids which so he's got wiped out pretty quick. Yeah. So where were you guys staying? Well,
Starting point is 00:24:34 we camped every night until the last night. You guys were all had poison ivy and were sleeping three across in the tent? Yeah, and the tent was not a good tent. We got a tent from Walmart. It was $30. Oh my God. It was not a good tent. We got a tent from Walmart. It was $30. Oh my god. It was a four-person tent. It wasn't even a three-person tent. Just squished in a tent. And this is a guy, the show hadn't started yet,
Starting point is 00:24:55 but I was sitting close to Sas, and he was so uncomfortable. He's like, I'm going to need you to move 10 feet away from me. Well, I'm fine with, like, if we were in a situation where we were camping, I wouldn't be annoyed. It was that you were sitting next to me and you were grazing my arm. I was excited to see you. Yeah! It's been a long time. I was excited to see you too, until you did that.
Starting point is 00:25:15 He's tactile. And then I was like, I'm gonna have to go back out to the woods now. I'm going through a lot right now. How do you think he got ivy? You must have gotten ivy from that. No, you can't't I looked it up It's not contagious. It's a nasty. It is it's not How did you who's up in the middle
Starting point is 00:25:33 We rotated the middle was the best box you're the most room Yeah, I'm telling you the tent was so bad that you would be if you were on the side You'd wake up and the tent was just over your face That sounds like you did a bad job putting it together shouldn't it be done we it was taught it was almost burst Was it a triangle or was it a five? Five-sided it was supposed to be a five side. I guess much more like a triangle. Yeah. Yeah, it was not a good tent at all Why did you just throw it away? Away on the way home. Why don't you spend like twice as much on like a little bit better of a tent? Because yeah it was just so much money and
Starting point is 00:26:09 no one wanted to spend more money. What are you talking about? 30 bucks? I'm saying everything was so much money. Oh oh oh. But you always have a wallet that's full of so much cash. Yeah but dude I do the amount of money that I spent on this trip. It would have been cheaper for me to go to Japan and fly first class. Next time, next time that you guys are doing this, I will send, given my friendship with, with Bo and Peters, I, it would be my honor to sponsor a tent for all, for all of you. Me and Francis can pitch in on some like certain essentials the same way that like big cat sponsors Stu Finers TV room. Yeah, yeah coach Doug's garage. I'm sure everyone would appreciate that a lot Yeah, let us cover it and don't let anyone be too proud. I want my boys
Starting point is 00:26:57 Sleeping tight. I wouldn't I would have did a dinner for you guys one night. Yeah, I'll do one trip to urgent care I'll cover either a dinner and urgent care. If you don't use the urgent care by the last night I'll get a dinner. Alright. That works. That's the easiest way. That definitely works. We, camping was fine. The food was all good. There was one night where it was like in the 20s and that was pretty brutal. Yeah, that's when you got to sleep full mummy in the sleeping bag. I've been there. And that sucked, but it was pretty good.
Starting point is 00:27:33 There was one night where we folded. We were, it like rained all day and everyone was like gassed and our sleeping spot was awful. And we were like, we're going into town and we're getting, we're gonna stay at a motel. And then we were driving up the dirt road and we were like, this feels pretty bad. Then we pulled over at a different camp spot and just camped there.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Really? Yeah, cause we were like, it's gonna be better. You don't wanna tuck your tails? Yeah, it would be better to stay in the hotel on the last night. After you've earned it. After we've like completed the trip, yeah. Rather than give up with one night left.
Starting point is 00:28:07 You guys only allowed yourself one night in a hotel though. Yeah, that's pretty good. I'm impressed with that. Yeah, it was pretty tough. That one night, I think everyone was pretty excited to stay in a hotel. And then we just, because we were, the first half of the trip we were like completely alone. Like there was like maybe one other group camping and we like didn't really see, we saw like two eight year old dudes who were fishing. And the moose guy, what about the moose guy? No, that was the second half. Oh, got it.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Second half of the trip we like had this campsite that we picked out, we drive to it. It's like, I guess it was cause 4th of July, but I mean, dude, it was, everything was so packed. Like with like all these like morbidly obese people in RVs. That's you guys. And they were taking up all of the camp spots so we couldn't find anywhere to go so we ended up staying at this really shitty area.
Starting point is 00:28:52 And that's when we were going to stay in the hotel and then we moved and we found a better spot. Oh, you didn't get to find a comfortable berth in that high-end RV campsite filled with morbidly obese people? No, we didn't. And then we- So you had to slum it to the really shitty area? Yes, exactly. Dude, every campsite was full.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Like you'd go and it would just say, full. I didn't know that was a- I thought that it was just like, if you can find somewhere to put your tent, it's not full. Yeah, I thought I was camping. The outdoors is full. That's literally what it was. Wilderness is full.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Yeah, everything just said, full. And so when we were driving to go to the hotel, we were shitting on the RV people the whole week and then when we got, we were driving and we were like, they're gonna beat us. They won. And so then we were like, we gotta camp. We can't give in and go stay in a hotel after we've been shitting on these people for staying in RVs all week. Yeah. What did you guys eat the entire time?
Starting point is 00:29:47 We had fajitas pretty much every single night. Literally every single night we had fajitas. Really? Yeah. And then it was the easiest thing to make. You just have some sort of meat and then just peppers and onions and a tortilla. And what was the meat? did ground beef and then we did sausage one night There's a lot of red meat. Damn dude. I wish you'd eaten more browns Yeah, it would have been nice. We had chicken noodle soup And we had ramen. How many?
Starting point is 00:30:21 Can you keep in a day? It depends on the river the The first one I think it was you could three per person, but they had to be below 16 inches. And then the second one, it was no, couldn't keep anything besides brook trout. And I think brook trout, they're just like, take however many you want. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:30:39 This is going to come off as hating, and I don't want it to because I love you. But when I saw the pictures of the little fish that you had in your hands, I was gonna come off as hating and I don't want it to because I love you, but when I saw the pictures of the little fish that you had in your hands. It was not a little fish. I was kind of disappointed because I could still see so much of your hands around the fish. I thought that it would be like, I thought you'd be holding it with one hand up like this.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Yeah. And you were holding it like. Dude, that first photo. You were cupping mouthwash. That first photo of the fish that I caught on that post on Instagram was easily the biggest fish I've ever caught. Like not length, like heaviest.
Starting point is 00:31:12 It was like the most incredible thing I've ever experienced. It's nothing like the cobia we caught. Oh, and not including that, obviously. Not including the saltwater. Not including the other big fish that you've caught. But that was like, I saw the fish, it was rising in this hole. It was like 6 I saw the fish, it was rising in this hole. It was like 6 p.m. and it was rising
Starting point is 00:31:27 and I was throwing dry flies and it wasn't taking anything and I switched to a super small dry fly like this big. Smart, that's what I would have thought. And I cast it out and it hit it and it was like, dude it fought for like two minutes straight. And the whole time I was just like, this is gonna get off. And then I landed it and it was like
Starting point is 00:31:43 the greatest feeling imaginable. Well that's that's not yeah that's not a huge one I'm talking about the first one the cutthroat yeah I think it's a monster that's pretty big that that the smile on your face looks like my dog when I throw a peanut butter car yeah it was like the greatest feeling I've ever experienced but so then we stayed in this hotel the last night and it's like this hotel from like the fucking like 1800s like Teddy Roosevelt stayed there really yeah, and I like sweet apparently uh apparently Joan Rivers Yeah, she did like a show there Yeah, yeah, I have a pretty cool
Starting point is 00:32:24 is a fuckin'... That's not like, that's not that rugged. Isn't she, she's like a fag hag who fuckin' like does runway modeling? No, no, Joan Rivers is the old, old woman who died a couple years ago. Yeah, who would do red carpet interviews. Yeah, that sounds right. That's what she's famous for. Oh, I thought she was famous for her stand-up.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Her stand-up is, she's probably considered one of the best. One of the best of all time. Okay. I guess you know her from the red carpet though. Yeah, I guess. Speaks volumes. But I think he's right too. I think she ran in the drag circle and like.
Starting point is 00:32:59 I didn't know that. Yeah. I don't know anything about her. I really don't know much about her to be honest. But she's one of the greatest of all time though. Tell me about her. Well, I know if you work up best comedians of all time, she comes up with like George Carlin and- I didn't realize you get your comedy knowledge from Wikipedia.
Starting point is 00:33:12 That's where I get most of it. Yeah. All of it. That's sweet. I like to go to the fucking clubs. It was actually pretty funny when we were driving back from Wyoming, they were like, we listened to a podcast and they were like, let's listen to some stand-up and we listened to a Joe List album and then they were like I put on something else and then I was like I realized I only really
Starting point is 00:33:32 listened to like three comedians yeah I was like yeah let me find one let me find another good album and I was like now I really just listened to Louis Joe List and Shane the only comedians that I listened to. Damn, bro, you need to open up your mind. So let me listen to Patrice O'Neil. Elephant in the Room. Elephant in the Room. Nice. That's a classic. Natalie Holloway.
Starting point is 00:33:53 That's Angel. I like it when he goes, would you mind if I sniff your chair? That's a horny ass special. He's horny as hell the whole time. He says sexual harassment day is the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. And you go in, he's talking about bringing in the flowers. He's like, I was thinking you could go suck my dick in the storage closet.
Starting point is 00:34:21 And she's like, no. And he's like, yeah, I messed up. I was getting a vibe that you were like whore this whole year I've been waiting for this day it seems like watching that special that he he shot that all in one take it feels like yeah does it does crowd work that is not even crowd work I mean it's so good yeah it's like so interwoven too. And like he comes back to things and he's like talking to everybody. They do a good job of like having cameras
Starting point is 00:34:51 on the people that he's talking to too, which is like, I guess they knew he's gonna do crowd work. It's kind of surprising for that, for how long ago that was though. I know. I love the thing he does about the animal rescue thing, where he's like a puppy with a pencil in its head. Hi, I'm White Lady.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Stuck in a jar. Yeah, it's a good special. Fucking goat. So they rely on you for entertainment. They're like, we gotta get our boys Sass for fucking, or Harry, because they don't call you little Sass. Give me a favor and never touch that again.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Did that hurt you? Yeah. Now it's just screaming. Really? All it takes is just one second to activate it. Damn, that's nasty work. But yeah, it was a good trip. It was very fun.
Starting point is 00:35:36 The fishing was the best fishing I've ever done. Yeah, the smile on your face actually brings a tear to my heart. It was fucking beautiful how much joy you got. What made it so expensive? It doesn't sound like it was particularly lavish. Was it the fishing permits? Was it the travel?
Starting point is 00:35:52 It was just like the travel, the, like all the gear that we needed. Like I needed to get like a backpack, which was expensive. The sleeping bag was expensive. The sleeping pad was expensive. That does sound more expensive than Japan. You wouldn't believe it No, I don't know you would go to a fly. You go to a fly shop. You just get fleeced
Starting point is 00:36:12 Yeah, you go and you're like, I'm just gonna I just need to get one fly. That's all I need two dollars It's all I need then you leave and you just dropped six hundred dollars out of nowhere I think I got me on those sunglasses. He's you like he's like, yeah, those are Smith Chromopops. They really highlight the reds and the greens. And I was like, yeah, I probably do need to see the reds and the greens a little better. River's been one color all this time. Seeing the greens through good sunglasses is an incredible feeling though. You're like, is that, you have to keep on taking down the sunglasses. You're like, is it this beautiful? Has God made it this beautiful? Yeah has God made it this beautiful
Starting point is 00:36:46 It was pretty sick having like good sunglasses. I've never had good sunglasses before so it's nice One's that make the green pop or different. I've never had that the reds really pop the reds were screaming. What's red? Nothing Rainbow trout rainbow trout is have some red in them. Yeah, where they're red Was there redness you catch some bows? No. Some bows? Rainbows? Yeah, we've had a lot of rainbows.
Starting point is 00:37:09 How many of those? I don't know. I said I caught 65. I don't know if I actually like where it was. It has to have been that or more because I caught, yeah, like I said, I caught like at least 10 fish every day aside for the first day. Well.
Starting point is 00:37:22 So. Would you catch more bows or browns? The first half of the trip was mostly browns, some rainbows, and then the second half was mostly cutthroat and then a couple of rainbows. Cut some throats and some bows. Yeah, it was pretty incredible. I know you had a good time because it made you post
Starting point is 00:37:41 on Instagram for the first time in eight months. I know, that's what I was, well, the real reason was because I was like, how can I sneak my tour dates into this? And I did It worked. Are you really gonna have a new show with Sydney Wells? Yeah, I guess I mean she she hit me up like a couple like a month ago And she was like do you want to do a fly fishing series? We would go like five different places in the spring and I was like yeah
Starting point is 00:38:04 I'm not gonna not say yes to that I think that's the right thing to do I think the two of you belong on a river not the open ocean the way that we were yeah I don't know what I wouldn't be you're not funny on the ocean I wouldn't be opposed to going to the salt water either though. Well you'd need me for that. Because I brought out all the really funny moments. Well Francis is funny on the ocean. Francis is salt water funny. You can tell by his hair.
Starting point is 00:38:34 Francis is definitely salt water funny. You got that salt life hair. Yes sir. I have been spraying my hair with sea salt spray. Really? Sea salt spray, game changer. What brand? It is really good. I don't actually know. I don't know. Sea salt spray, game changer. It isn't really good. What brand? I don't actually know.
Starting point is 00:38:47 I don't know. There's one. It's green bottle. Green bottle in the SEI. It's not me. It's not my brand. I usually go with, what is it? It's called like mom's hair spray or something like that.
Starting point is 00:38:58 See, I have women. Yours is Pantene Pro V. Someone told me that if I just went swimming in the ocean, I would have sea salt spray hair, and I did that a lot, and I did not. Well, you can't shower. I didn't. I stopped showering.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Okay, so then you should have had sea salt hair. No, it was chlorine-y hair. Well, then maybe you were not swimming in the ocean. I was mixing bodies of water. Oh, okay, well, if you go swimming in salt water, and then you go in chlorine after, it gonna take up so what if I went I think I went pool sometimes pool then then ocean and then you would have had salt water here wasn't the way I needed it to be so I still had to add more sea
Starting point is 00:39:35 salt spray you can't have enough I just grind salt in my hair yeah you really should just bring your own thing of salt out there I just get some some Himalayan pink, slap it on like a steak, rub it into my scalp. It's my best choice. The lettuce looks good, Francis. That's that Montauk hair. It's good hair. It's coming in. I haven't quite figured out what to do with it, but yeah, it's been a real chore. It was hanging down before you just ran your hands through it. It was hanging down like you're in Friends. Oh, that's what we want. It was like a nice Matt LeBlanc.
Starting point is 00:40:07 I saw Joe Burrow on part of my take, and he had a little strand dancing down his face. He's going big with the strand. And I thought to myself, I want that. Yeah. I want Joey B. You can have it. You can take it from him.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Let's do Rone in Japan. Should we? You don't want to talk Montauk? I think I have the worst. I deserve to go last. My story is the least interesting. I don't think it is. Let's just tease it with Leonardo DiCaprio. Leonardo, Leo!
Starting point is 00:40:36 Let's just say we're going to be talking DiCaprio in a second. We're talking DiCaprio. But he's the executive producer of Francis Special. Yeah. Scorsese shot it. I asked him at the party and he said no doubt. Of course I've been hoping you asked. Send me the script. I'll read it. And then he goes how much ketamine do you have? And I was like enough to kill a horse. It's mostly fentanyl though. It's mostly tasty tasty fentanyl. I can't believe that fentanyl has been fucking taking people out for this long.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Prince, they got Prince with fentanyl? Yeah. When did he die? Has to be like eight years ago. I don't think it was that long ago. It was more recent than that. I think it was like 2016. He performed at the SNL 40th anniversary show. And the 50th anniversary is next year. So that's nine years ago. But he had plenty of energy at the 40th. I'm sure he had plenty of energy when he died. No, he was getting sleepy. Well, cuz yeah, cuz he took fentanyl. Right. At the mouth of death.
Starting point is 00:41:41 You can tell that at the 40th anniversary party he was nowhere near fentanyl at that point Sass if you go to the 50th anniversary party, will you do fentanyl? Absolutely, if everybody's doing it me and Lauren you Lauren railing lines of fent you do beers Yeah, you do beers in the last one and then Fenty at this next one like Rihanna's underwear line, but I can talk about Japan. Yeah, let's talk about Japan. It was so fucking awesome. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Was it really hot? A lot of people said like, dude, don't go at this time of year because it's so hot. I had to hold myself back from making the comment of I've been told not to go in July because of how hot it is. Because I knew you'd already booked and I didn't want to Put that in your mind. It was not so hot that I wouldn't have gone amazing It was like that was I thought that that was overblown. I thought that was very over when they say it's that hot What do they mean? Like it's like Death Valley hot like 96 feels like 106 was it like the last couple days were very hot
Starting point is 00:42:42 That's pretty hot. But like I wore pants the entire time. Yeah. As you should. As I should. That's respectful. And I was judging the people that were wearing shorts. So ridiculous. Don't wear pants when you don't wear shorts
Starting point is 00:42:55 when you're a tourist. That's what they say. They say like when you go to France and you have like if you wear a baseball hat or shorts on they know you're American. Take yourself seriously. Shorts it's the next thing. There's a clip and we'll get to runs. Of course this clip of The fact that we had it was Tommy smokes Dana beers
Starting point is 00:43:15 Glenny balls and Eddie were in Tampa and they went to the like one of the nicest steak houses in Tampa and Three of the four of them were wearing shorts. Should we guess? I'm gonna go Eddie, Glennie, who was it? Tommy. Eddie, Glennie, Tommy. No and I'm surprised you got this wrong. Just pick the most overweight people. Yeah who's wearing shorts? I know but I could have seen Tommy wearing pants. That would have made sense. Tommy did wear pants I know, but I could have seen Tommy wearing pants. That would have made sense. Tommy did wear pants. Or shorts. I could have seen him wearing shorts as well. Point is, they put them in like,
Starting point is 00:43:52 it was one of the funniest videos I've seen in a long time. Did they get sent to the ugly? No, they had like, they had like donor pants. Oh really? And of course they're all the fattest sizes imaginable, because fat people keep showing up to this steakhouse in shorts And they don't want to discriminate against them, so they give them size 50 waist pants
Starting point is 00:44:13 I'm surprised they didn't have just extensions for their shorts Zippers just clip these on Just pleated extensions that they hit throw on the bottom like and one basketball shorts on the bottom of your shorts, make these into dress pants, just pleated extensions that they can throw on the bottom of their shorts. Just like And1 basketball shorts on the top and just khakis on the bottom. Yeah! They should dude. I can't believe that, I mean, I guess in Florida they do have fat people though. Like they're prepared.
Starting point is 00:44:40 Yeah, sure do. In Japan they don't have them. No. They don't have them. No. They don't have them. Wyoming, everyone's fat. Really? A lot of fat people.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Why? You'd stop and you, cause everyone just gets pie for like this. You go, no, I'm serious, dude. I'm serious. I had a great, dude, I'm not even kidding. We, everywhere you go in Wyoming, they're like, all right, and what kind of pie do you want?
Starting point is 00:45:07 And you're like, what do you mean it's an 8 a.m.? I don't need pie and ice cream right now. I can't eat pie. I have to eat pie. I had pie the last night. I'm a group a lot of pie. The pie was unbelievable. I'm a big pie guy.
Starting point is 00:45:17 I got a blueberry pie with some ice cream. That'll work. Unbelievable. That is nice. That'll work. What's your guys' favorite pies? Strawberry rhubarb. That's a great one. Especially with the crumbly top. I want the crumble. Mine's probably apple or blueberry or key lime. Pick on for me, which is barely a pie.
Starting point is 00:45:33 Mmm. Because it's not a fruit. It's like an energy bar almost. Yeah, it's a trail mix. You can eat that for breakfast. Nature Valley for pie. Which is probably, that's what they're doing out in Wyoming. Oh, no, it's everywhere. You go, you get a coffee. Alright, what kind of pie do you want? Is it, and is it like a McDonald's pie? Do you want your pie in your coffee or on the side?
Starting point is 00:45:56 It's a tub of pie. It's a f***ing plate of pie. It's a plate of the largest slice of pie. They're going generous slices. They make a full pie and they go, this will feed two people. It was, Japan is such a, it was such an orderly place. Everything was like, you ride an escalator, everybody's far to the left.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Like you walk outside, everybody's fucking quiet. You get to a crosswalk and nobody crosses the street. Nobody jaywalks and it's fucking so orderly. Everybody's just like in cohesion as a culture. And I think it's like there's hard rules against things like that. Like I went out to some district and they said it's five years in prison for graffiti.
Starting point is 00:46:39 And they're like prosecute. It was like big sign saying you're getting locked up. And I went through the most wanted list in Japan and it's like murder, murder, murder, violation of the traffic doubt. Murder, murder. Literally the fourth most wanted person like walked into traffic.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Like a roll to stop sign. Yeah. Littering. And they went on the lam for the rest of their life. They had to like get in the high went on the lam for the rest of their life. They had to get in the high speed chase and live in the wilderness of Japan because it was so fucked. But as soon as I got there to my hotel, within five minutes I'm sitting in the lobby of this
Starting point is 00:47:14 fucking beautiful hotel in downtown Tokyo, Kanye West walks out of the elevator. Oh yeah, you said that. I forgot about that. Kanye West just walks out of the elevator fucking with his two kids and his uh Big kiddy wife and they go to the fucking elevator to like go down and like go out for the night It just like he's just like chilling in Japan. Did you say hi? No, I was like checking in You guys are really on the same travel schedule on the same travel This is the second hotel experience where I've been at the same hotel as Kanye West I just ran into Kanye so you were staying at a pretty nice hotel. I'd assume I mean it wasn't as nice as Wyoming
Starting point is 00:47:49 I mean if you're with Kanye West expensive as I am Kanye West out of the bighorn Yeah, you were probably spending more at that Walmart on On a tent and your mattress topper it was fucking it was this beautiful. The first night you just kind of like, it was so jet lagged, I didn't do shit, just ate at the hotel bar and fucking like walked around the block and like went to sleep. The next morning I woke up like so fucking energized, went to the gym, I'm like I'm gonna fucking crush this trip,
Starting point is 00:48:20 go to the gym, get a workout in right away. First one there in the morning, 6 a.m., I was like fucking ripping it at the gym, get a workout in right away. First one there in the morning, 6 a.m. I was fucking ripping it at the gym and afterwards I'm like, I'm gonna go to the fucking pool. I asked for a sauna and they're like, okay, we'll take you to where the sauna is and I got there and this gay Japanese guy's like, let me give you a tour and he's like,
Starting point is 00:48:42 we have the sauna. No, that guy is the sixth most wanted. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on the lam. Shh, don't tell anyone. And no, there's a stronghold of gay folk out there, but they're like, take you through,
Starting point is 00:48:58 they're like, let me give you a tour. And they're like, it's actually a steam room that you go to. And there's also a traditional onsen which is a bath and They're like the only thing is you have to be naked to get in there Damn Yeah And you've heard of this? No, but I like where it's going
Starting point is 00:49:15 And so I fucking I'm like alright like if I'm gonna go to the steam room I go in and I fucking strip down And I fucking go into the traditional bath and who's in there? Fuckin' ass naked in the bath, fuckin' Kanye West. Are you kidding? Is this like your Jake Gyllenhaal story? Yeah, there's no way that that's true. Are you Jake Gyllenhaal-ing us? With his dick floating at the top like a buoy,
Starting point is 00:49:36 listening to a book on tape of the 48 Laws of Power. It was fuckin' insane. I had never seen anything like it was fucking I tried to make conversation with him I was like I submitted music to like Jeff Basker in like 2009 or like is this your you're really going to know fuck there's no way in hell this happened I submitted music to Jeff Basker no I believe that and I told it to him he like just didn't want to hear it or whatever. But yeah, his dick's just floating on the top of the water.
Starting point is 00:50:08 It was insane. Dry Fly. He was Dry Fly. I don't even count it as a fucking hit. It was just so, every part of it was, their bars, I think, are better than our bars. All the bars are just like six people and they have fucking themes and shit to the bars. Is it like in the videos where it's
Starting point is 00:50:28 like all super tight? It's all super tight like you go to these like drunk alleys and shit like that it's just like there's literally two seats in some of the bars and it's all of them in a row it's just two seats like they're drinking culture is better you're just getting fucked up it made me wish that we had like themed bars in New York that there was like they're all sports team bars yeah but I mean like just like a little bar they have barstool Tokyo out there yeah I was getting pink with me yeah they just hired their new bartender, Hawk Tuah. They were saying that I should bring back one of the, because in Kyoto I went to a traditional
Starting point is 00:51:13 geisha dinner and Caleb was asking how it was. He was like, dude, you got to bring back the geisha as an intern. Just get barstool geisha. Barstool geisha. It was so fucking interesting just having dinner with a Geisha through like an interpreter. She's just like telling us about her like culture and I think that most American gay culture is stolen from Geisha culture. Like even like the way she's talking it's just like yeah I go to
Starting point is 00:51:40 Starbucks on like my one day off a month. It just has this gay undertone that's, it's just everything about it was so fucking interesting. 20,000 steps a day for sure. Just walking around. Please, nah, I believe you. Do you compare apps? Nah, I believe you. Exactly, you don't wanna fucking see the smoke.
Starting point is 00:52:00 They were out there. Break it down really quick. You did, how many days in Tokyo? I did, I think five days in Tokyo. One day I went to like the countryside. How's that? Fucking nuts. Yeah, that looks sick.
Starting point is 00:52:14 They have good skiing there. Yeah, they- No, that's out on them islands though. You gotta go like off the mainland, I think, to do the skiing. Oh, really? Well, I went through Nagano, where the 98 Winter Olympics were.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Okay, nevermind. So like the train went, it passed through Nagano, where the 98 Winter Olympics were. Oh you're right, okay. So like the train went, it passed through Nagano to this place called Kaga Onsen, where I went and stayed at this traditional Roya Khan, and like, it's, you're living like they did in the like 1500s out there, and they're just giving you food that is not even food. Like they're giving you just like 18 courses
Starting point is 00:52:44 of like goo and like tofu and shit like that. Like I'm just giving you chopsticks to eat it with. But I'll tell you what dude, it solved my microbiome. The shits that I've been taking are fucking perfect dude. River trouts. They are just unbelievably double-tapered. just unbelievable fucking turds. I think that's the cure to like bad stomach problems, just going on vacation and just changing your diet completely. Cause I'm shitting just logs for the first time in a decade. It's incredible.
Starting point is 00:53:18 I don't know how this has happened, but I'm so appreciative about the turds that are coming out of my butt. Yeah. All of my hemorrhoids have receded back into there. Sucked back into nature. This guy's on a pure fajita diet. That's the way to cure it is just fajitas. It really is nice.
Starting point is 00:53:37 I don't think that, cause as I was going out there, I was like, oh my God, blue zones, I'm going to be living a blue zone lifestyle. I just have to switch my diet to this permanently I don't think I could switch it to that permanently why because by the time I got to the last place I went was Kyoto for like four days or And by the time I was in Kyoto, I was like give me a cheeseburger Yeah, still the cheeseburgers that I got out there were insane
Starting point is 00:54:03 Pizza was very good too. Not as good, people are like it's as good as New York, it's not as good as New York, but the burgers were better than any burger I've ever tasted. What are you saying? Did you go to McDonald's? Yeah, one night we went to McDonald's, like we went out late night in Shinjuku, just like going to fucking karaoke and shit like that, and went to McDonald's. It was good. Was it the same? Close to the same. I'm always curious about that. I like to see what the foreign, like the American food is like in foreign countries. Like, I mean there were KFC's Burger King's McDonald's everywhere. I'd
Starting point is 00:54:36 tell you it was pretty much the same. I don't know, I was pretty trash by the time I was eating McDonald's. Did you guys go to one of the live band karaoke places? I've heard those are fun. No, we didn't. It was just like, it was like basically everything, it just goes up. Like the eighth floor has something cool on it out there. So we just went to like a third floor karaoke place and like a strip mall. Just some guy had perfect English and like checked us in.
Starting point is 00:55:00 It was just fucking great. Very little crime, very little homelessness. Well. What? Cause they just kill you. There were a couple homeless, no, there were some homeless out there. Yeah, they hadn't been caught yet. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Honestly, it made me think like, should we be killing the homeless? Did you see any of like the business dudes sleeping on the street? There were some tech like businessmen like stumbling around, but that's their culture. Yeah, they sleep on the street and then people like don't people bring them in yeah They put like they they'll pull their coat and make sure that they're covered Yeah You know make sure they're comfortable because drinking with your boss and drinking with your clients is like part of the culture out there And if you refuse a drink with your boss, you're supposed to work 18 hours every day
Starting point is 00:55:42 Drink with your boss for four hours and then sleep on the street for two and then go right supposed to work 18 hours every day, drink with your boss for four hours, and then sleep on the street for two hours. And then go right back to work, yeah. A very good friend of mine works for Bank of America, and he's been there for a long time, and they have a big office in Tokyo. So he goes to Japan every year. Bank of Tokyo. And he said that, like, they'll go to the office
Starting point is 00:55:59 and do a presentation for, why? What did that mean? Just because it's called Bank of America America and it's in Tokyo. Nice funny Good one riff. I don't know. I'm not gone. I'm not going good riff on that and There they the office out there gets excited when they're coming Yeah, cuz it's you know, the American businessman and they like roll out the red carpet yes gift exchange all this stuff and then they all go out and
Starting point is 00:56:26 I think that they just that is like a big moment for them to get really drunk Yeah, the the people from their office the hospitality is insane Yeah, everybody is so hospitable when you walk into a store. They're like You get into a store they're like I think it's a must which I think is you get into a cab I think it's a must you have to sing it like that that's how and that's how it's like like thank you it's like basically they're saying thank you before you get like as you walk in and as you leave you say I think it's a must or they'll say I think it's a must you say I think it's a must do they get mad when you start saying it yeah well they'll always say it after you.
Starting point is 00:57:06 So you could say it five times, they'll say it six. They always have to be the last one saying, Arigatou gozaimasu. Even the first day that I went out, that night when I just walked around before I got into the traditional onsen with Kanye, I fucking walked past groups of dudes who were drinking on the street,
Starting point is 00:57:21 and they're just bowing to each other. They're just like, they're like going nose down on a keyboard. It was just all of them just bowing back and forth. The deeper the bow, the more respect. It was so respectful. Like as we get into the hotel elevator, like they're just bowing at us, throwing bows around.
Starting point is 00:57:41 It's so fucking wonderful. You were bowing back? I was bowing back. I was getting a hamstring workout. You get low? I was trying. They probably have very strong backs. You put your hands at your sides.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Yeah. So it's like a concert bow. That's it? That's not nearly low enough. That's how you did it? That's not low enough. Is that right? At that speed?
Starting point is 00:58:02 I would have gone faster. I would have gone faster and lower by a lot Sometimes I just lower my head Well, well they'll throw back at you if it's the same as saying thank you I think it's supposed to be I Think there were a couple there were a couple that I do hands behind No, I think that's racist That's a curtsy. No, that's not a curtsy.
Starting point is 00:58:30 I think you're supposed to go to the lowest point you can before you tip over. What? That's the ultimate effect. But that's different for everybody. Like if you saw the president of Japan. Prime Minister? The Prime Minister. Former Minister of the Shizuobi?
Starting point is 00:58:44 You're going to your head is touching your knees. Yeah, I'm doing downward dog in front of the Prime Minister. Shinzo Abe, the former Prime Minister, was shot with a 3D printed gun. Yeah. It was like one of the first gun deaths. It was a major political assassinations
Starting point is 00:58:58 that the countries had. Yeah, that was pretty recent. Yeah, it wasn't too long ago. It was pretty shocking. It was probably like two years ago. Yeah. I read an article that was interesting that is that as countries go, as democracies go,
Starting point is 00:59:11 Japan's general satisfaction with their political leaders is very high and it's not necessarily because they like them all, it's just because they all don't care. I could see that. A lot of them don't even know who their elected officials are. Really? And I'm not talking about like, dumb people. I'm talking people just like,
Starting point is 00:59:30 eh, they don't, they have a general idea and they're like, look, there's not much I can do about it. So whatever. And they don't know. And they just like, they're not that politically engaged. They don't worry about voting records. Like, you know, we talk about like, why doesn't Nancy Pelosi released the stocks that she's fucking, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Like, they don't, none of that matters to them. That's not the discourse. They're just moving through life.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Which I respect. Working hard. Yeah, it's awesome. It's cool. Imagine having that level of like, indifference. That'd be nice. I would respect the hell out of it. Yeah, it's a peaceful way to go through life. There's, like, as far as their political candidates,
Starting point is 01:00:04 there are on street corners they'll have like basically a bulletin board and it has all their faces with equal space and it's just like politician, politician, one guy's in like his surgeon outfit or something like that and then on every one of them there's one guy running for office who's just dressed up like Jim Carrey in the mask. He just has a green face and a yellow thing with like three women around him. It really was exactly that and that it was like intentional it wasn't like accidental but everything's so orderly even like there was this area Shinjuku where that's all fucking basically I couldn't
Starting point is 01:00:44 tell if it was whorehouses but it's like fucking basically I couldn't tell if it was whorehouses but it's like these like girls outside and like these like little cute outfits and shit like that trying to get people into their businesses like a late night and they're trying to and it's like these companionship bars but not only are there girls outside there's dudes on billboards so there's companionship bars for the women out there. And so women get, you would be an incredible companion. Is that because they work so much? Isn't there, I feel like Sam Talent
Starting point is 01:01:10 said something about that. It makes sense. When he came on our podcast. There's like companionship bars and like cuddle bars, but I was like trying to look into it. And I think that the women get so addicted to the companionship bars, and they wind up spending so much money that they
Starting point is 01:01:26 have to turn to a life of prostitution often. Like they start whoring themselves out because they've tried so hard to like get in good with the companions and they buy Gucci bags because they think they treat you better at the companionship bars if you're rich or present as rich Damn, it was so fucking but even that like area of town is very orderly like there's just Natural like mutual respect to it. I don't know. I just I came back more respectful I don't even talk shit anymore now on anybody now. I noticed that it's so nice. I noticed that immediately We'll break you anymore. No. On anybody. No. I noticed that. It's so nice. Yeah, I noticed that immediately. We'll break you. We'll break you. You think you've got me back to talk? Yeah, we'll get
Starting point is 01:02:08 you back. Did you think that your, was five days the right amount of time to spend in Tokyo? Do you wish you'd done less? Definitely. Definitely not less. Okay. So you need that much time there? I could have spent so long in Tokyo. Yeah, cool. I want to go back so badly already. All right. There's so much to do, there's so many pockets, there's so many areas, different restaurants I wanted to try, different foods I wanted to try. There's just, it's just everywhere. There's something everywhere.
Starting point is 01:02:36 There's just cool streets. There's streets that are just so much cooler than ours. Little alleys that you can go down, just random ass alleys. And I've heard it's not the best place to live. I heard it's a better place to visit. It's not like I'm saying I'm gonna fucking live in Japan, but it exceeded my expectations so much in a couple ways.
Starting point is 01:02:56 One, I went to France a couple years ago on a summer vacation. I was like, yeah, I don't have any funny or cool stories because it just was pretty and beautiful and nothing funny or interesting happened. And this wasn't like that at all. It was just so funny and weird and individual. But also when I was growing up,
Starting point is 01:03:17 I really thought that people who went to Japan or wanted to go to Asia badly, I thought that they were almost like fetishists. I was like, you're like, hey, what are you fucking in? The fucking pixelated porn. It's like a fucking weirdo type of thing. And it just like, it's just a whole different frontier of travel that I was, I'm just so excited about.
Starting point is 01:03:39 It was just so fucking cool. There's so much that I feel like I barely scratched the surface. Did you go to the Logan Paul forest? Yeah, it was fucking awesome. You actually Guess I wouldn't really be wondering you like write that into the itinerary. We're gonna have to stop by the suicide forest It's gonna take a three-hour train to the suicide forest Yeah, it was awesome
Starting point is 01:04:03 Cool sounds super sick. Yeah, I was awesome. So cool. Sounds super sick. What was the best food you had the whole time? We went to a really... there's a lot of places you have to wait in line for really good food spots. There's nothing you can do. I tried to get good reservations. I had a transformative eating experience at this place called... What the fuck was it called? I don't know. You're not gonna remember it. It doesn't
Starting point is 01:04:28 matter. But it was basically an hour outside of Tokyo where I was just like in the wilderness and it was just so fucking beautiful. I posted a video of it on my Instagram story but it just like it felt like old Japan. There's like a red bridge and like you just slide open this individual door where you're they're bringing you all their courses. And it was just like, so fucking cool and peaceful. But that's where you're eating these weird foods and shit like that. The place where I enjoyed the food the most was like, it was just like one place where they only serve the exact same thing every single time and you can get a small, medium, or large portion of it and it was just rice
Starting point is 01:05:08 with like an egg on top and some kind of like, like grilled pork and it was just fucking incredible. It sounds awesome. It was so fucking tasty. Yeah, you need to get some of this shit. What the fuck was it called? We can go get some food later if you want. No, it was called Katsudonya Zukaio.
Starting point is 01:05:26 Zugi-cho. Kato-nyo- I don't know. Okay, I know that one. I've actually heard of that one. And Ukai Toriyama was the one out in the wilderness. Ukai Toriyama. Toriyama. I thought that we've talked in Japanese voices on this podcast before, I'm gonna, I was like, I'm gonna go over there.
Starting point is 01:05:46 I'm gonna be like, this is racist. There are people who not only talk like that, we're doing like a muted version of what they're, there's people who are like, and I knew people would think I was fucking around. I was voice recording people that I overheard at bars the last night I went to this bar in Kyoto that has like no electricity It was so fucking cool, but there's like just the exact dude You're thinking of like this shaved head like Japanese guy
Starting point is 01:06:19 And I was just voice recording him because I was like people will think that I'm just being racist towards Japanese No, I believe it I mean I've had an uber drivers where they just being racist towards Japanese people No, I believe it I mean I've had an uber drivers where they talk like that and you're like, oh, it's not a joke It's actually what they sound like. It was it's like a manly representation of what a voice is Let me see if I can if you can hear it on the on the voice recording I learned all that from playing video games Fuck Oh, he's Cookie Monster. That's how they say yes out there and I couldn't stop saying it. I'm in that moment. We got the good time. I think it's a good time.
Starting point is 01:07:05 That's how they say yes out there. And I couldn't stop saying it. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. So I want to say, hey, it's just nice to go somewhere with a good with a good sounding language. Yeah, it sounds good. Iceland was a disaster for that. It sounds like they're in rewind.
Starting point is 01:07:20 It's all throat. It sounds like someone's playing the shit in reverse. I think it's all throat. It sounds like someone's playing the shit in reverse. Iceland was the worst. Like a Missy Elliott song. Feathers in their mouth. You'd go to a bar and you'd feel like you needed like noise canceling headphones or else you'd get a headache. I went to the one place I was like buying because I took out, I thought you were just going to need cash the whole time. You didn't need cash. So by the last couple of days, their currency is dipped. Every day, it's just fucking as weak as it's
Starting point is 01:07:52 been in maybe 35 years, 38 years, or something like that. Good time to go to Japan. Good time to go. For sure. But I was spending money trying to just get rid of it, because if I convert it back in the US, I'm getting an even worse conversion rate And so I walked up and like was buying just some random shit at a store and like pulled out the wad of cash
Starting point is 01:08:10 And the guy's like, oh bitch What? And I called my wife over and I like bought something else and he was like a big bitch What the hell I thought that it was just like L to R, but it was a B to R. Oh, Rich. Yeah, he was calling me Rich. I made her listen again just to be like, I didn't mishear that, right? He's calling me a bitch.
Starting point is 01:08:36 Yeah. Like, oh, big bitch. That's hilarious. That's so funny. But he said it so respectfully that even if he was calling me a bitch But no one no one is disrespectful no one like there's no cab driver That was just like like fuck you like I'm not going there like even like scoffs at you or anything It's always the shit talking must be unreal out there. You think so you can't just bottle up all that
Starting point is 01:09:01 I think they do bro. They go home.'s fucking... I think it's the Buddhism. I think that they're all Buddhist. They're printing out your face on a dart board. Fuck this guy! Bitch! It would be funny if they were just calling me a bitch and trying to like fuck with me. Like, no, no, you, bitch! We used to do that with my my
Starting point is 01:09:30 Boss when I worked at the ye olde alehouse, you just call him balls like oh hey balls Yeah, you think we were calling him boss, but we're just calling him balls like a ball sack It's a classic. That is a class you guys could use that way. There was a there was like a lunch lady in my high school middle school and she was she couldn't hear anything and you just People were just saying saying shit to her and she was she couldn't hear anything and you just people would just say insane shit to her And she like oh, yeah for sure I remember one time when I'm one of my friends like yeah, it's raining cats and cocks out there today Oh, yeah big time Do they also love they love to hear that people are from New York
Starting point is 01:10:02 Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. I feel like that's like if you're not an American, that's probably like, it's probably like New York and LA. It's really New York. Yeah. Times Square. And that's true of like a lot of countries. Yeah. The one thing like, or there's a lot of things
Starting point is 01:10:15 I didn't get to do in Tokyo. I didn't get to go to any like jazz bars because their jazz is obviously amazing out there. So when I went to Tokyo, I was like, I'm going to every jazz bar I could find. And I went to a ton of them. And there was one called Beatle Momo Jazz Bar and on the wall of inside the bathroom, they're like, I love New York. I hope to go to New York someday. I want to open a bar in Brooklyn. I like love Brooklyn. Last time I went to Brooklyn's this like, please like start
Starting point is 01:10:40 a conversation with me about Brooklyn from the owner. And he's just putting that on the wall. So like, I couldn't wait to bring it up to him and just like talk for a half hour about it. And then after that we go to like a more of a clubby place and they like, the DJ is like spinning shit and he puts on like, you're from New York. And it was like, yeah! Going crazy just so excited about New York City.
Starting point is 01:11:05 They should come here, it sucks. Yeah, exactly. They must think that, I mean, that's probably, there's some probably some Japanese podcasters being like, it was incredible in New York. I wouldn't want to live there, but a great place to visit. That's hilarious. It was an awesome trip and I would recommend it so strongly to anybody who's even like Considering a little bit of it flights were not that not that hard to get to wasn't that bad
Starting point is 01:11:33 There are layovers or was it direct from Detroit? There's probably straight you can go to Detroit and then go I went to Detroit and then I flew back through Minneapolis And it was those flights were not bad at all The train is so easy to get to like different cities as fast as shit the bullet train like that movie Yeah, it was just like that movie. You had to fight from the back of the train to the front It was a very easy fight It's like a reverse Rosa Parks Even the people out there who are Barstool fans were very just
Starting point is 01:12:05 respectful. Yeah I'm sure. What's up bro? Yeah. Where's Dave? How much does Big Cat make? Won the bite. Everybody know the rule. Everybody know the rule. They try their best to think. But Google Translate makes everything so easy. What percentage of people, everywhere you went, was there someone that spoke English or was that not the case? Like every city or every place. Establishment. If you went to a nice restaurant, was there someone or did you have to do the Google Translate
Starting point is 01:12:42 for everything? No, there was pretty much almost always someone and there were a couple of places but like Google Translate it's like if you're in a drug store or something maybe you need Google Translate but it was so easy and their Google Translate has something where you just take a picture of the words and it in real time translates it for you. That's pretty crazy. It was fucking sweet. It's so weird how other countries feel like they're like built for Toru like Like they know that people are going to be coming there and they like make things that make it easier for tourists. In America it's just English, everything.
Starting point is 01:13:11 Yeah, I thought that too but in the airport I was like noticing that in the Detroit airport there's like Japanese in a lot of places. Oh really? Maybe it was just because that's the Japanese terminal or part of it where they're always flying to Japan. Probably. They made it a little bit easier. Actually, I brought back some
Starting point is 01:13:25 Oh here. I brought back. I don't know if you guys want to mukbang right now, or we can do it at the end I'd love a mukbang, but I brought I brought back a ton of Japanese candy for the boys. That's what I was hoping I brought back some Japanese candy for the fellas and actually I brought this back for You Francis. I didn't know you're doing the sea salt spray the fellas and actually I brought this back for you Francis I didn't know you're doing the sea salt spray cock grease extra hard you're not wrong I need this no it's it's hair product I know oh well you can keep that you don't want the extra hard I couldn't believe it it's cock grease that's hilarious it's called cock grease it's extra hard with two X's too. Are you sure this is not for your cock? I'm positive It's not for the cock even though there were I mean the same grocery store where you get that they have like full-on like
Starting point is 01:14:14 I'm sure there's a section of the store for flesh. Yeah, that's not surprising So I don't know should we should mukbang at the end should we let you keep it up all day? Try it. you'll like it Pretty good. It's a good gag very very nice. Say what you want about the Japanese. They got a great sense of humor No, they actually do and in in Osaka, there's like If you do a gun sign if you do a like a finger gun to someone in Osaka
Starting point is 01:14:44 They have to like pretend they're dying really I swear to God, dude. I'm not how did you figure this out? There's videos on it. Oh really? It's it's it's like so they prove that they have like a good sense of humor like and you get like I would last out of society Imagine you're having like a bad day and you're coming home from work and some Tourist hits you with the guns on you had like fuck Old ladies Who's can tell very quickly who is like hardcore Osocken, but if they can recognize a bit,
Starting point is 01:15:31 and then like they just write it. My version is the Matrix, like always like slow down. It's like bit, it's a bit town. That's awesome. They do, so they actually do have like great senses of humor. Yeah. I know you were trying to make fun of them, but they were, but would have gone with the bit.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Yeah. Would have gone along with the bit. That's pretty good, I like that. In New York. If you give someone the gun sign, they'll kill you Yeah, I'll just murder you on the street. Yeah, if you do it to a cop. Yeah, sell you a gun. Yeah Yeah, so should we let's I guess wait till the end to go through all these because it'll probably be shitty to be it's Almost all gummy candy. Oh that Francis go go and uh what do we have? Maybe we save my recap for the next episode. You want it? Yeah I think that's the right thing to do. We're at an hour and 20. Bless the people though. It's you up to you. It's up to you. It's if you want to talk about
Starting point is 01:16:19 it. Okay I'll tell it really quick. Yeah and then take your time. Um. Alright guys let's take a second and talk about Game Time. Game Time, the official ticketed partner of Barstool Sports. I have it right here on my phone. Bam. So easy to get through, so easy to interface. You can go get tickets to the Great Gatsby in New York today. You can go see Mother Mother, Janet Jackson, Copa America. I mean you can see Luke Combs or the Blue Man group. You can literally see whoever you want with game time. Great, great prices. So easy to pick where you want to sit, how much you want to spend. You want to go to a baseball game and sit behind home plate. They got you. You want to go to a football game and
Starting point is 01:16:59 sit at the 50-yard line. They got you. They got you. Basketball game, nosebleed seats. They got you. They got you. I'm thinking I'm gonna become this concert guy. I think concerts in the summer are a pretty fun thing to do. So fun. They got you. I got tickets to, I saw, I went to T-Pain in Central Park recently through Game Time. Mr. Paine had a lot of them. Awesome. And they had us. We went to his mansion in Wisconsin tour. You know his name's actually pronounced just pain, the T is silent, like tsunami. It's a very common misconception.
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Starting point is 01:20:12 Results may vary, not offered in every state. Medication prescribed only if clinically appropriate. Consultation required. Keeps, keep that stuff, huh? Well, that's awesome, Ron. Definitely high praise for Japan. Much praise. Hell yes.
Starting point is 01:20:28 Very high. Everybody should go. I'm going to get there as soon as I possibly can. That's my next trip. I know. I feel bad because I low-key stole it from you and a couple other people who wanted to go. No, you didn't.
Starting point is 01:20:36 Not at all. I think it's also the place that is the cool place. Everyone knows the yen is really weak right now and this is the time to go. And like, you know, there's a high, what would you call it? Like draw to Japanese culture right now. And like there's, you know, their clothing, their food, everything is just seems to be like peaking. That's China actually peaking. I'm sorry, go ahead. I went to Montauk, which I hadn't been to in a while. And I went to the sort of do just do like a Hamptons, you know, week, went and stayed
Starting point is 01:21:15 with two of my friends and bounced around and had an absolute ball. And it was pretty low key, just like playing with their kids and really enjoying myself. They have an awesome house, they're really good people and was awesome. And then one night I went to a party and I was totally out of my element.
Starting point is 01:21:42 What kind of party are we talking about? Is it like- Was it the white party? Pull in and there's a valet guy, it's at a house. But there's a guy telling you like, pull up here, I'll take your car. Or like, go pull up on that hill if you don't have a nice enough car. So is that, yeah, is everybody rich?
Starting point is 01:21:59 Like that's going there? It's a lot of G wagons. That seems to be the car that everyone's driving. Damn. That's a pricey car. It is. Yeah, was that 140? 200? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:10 I think it's close to 200. It's between like, yeah, it's like, they're like 120 to 200. God damn. Yeah. So, I parked my own car, obviously. Like a Flintstones character. And...
Starting point is 01:22:24 They think you're clocking in for your shift. Yeah, and then I hiked down the hill. And then there was a guy, then you have to go to a gate. How did you get into the party? I was with a couple people, one of whom was on the list and had like plus ones. So it was that kind of party. It wasn't just like a house party where you just can show up. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:46 And we had to pull out our IDs to verify that we were the people we were saying we were. That's crazy. What? And I was like, there's no chance I'm getting in. This is going to be humiliating. Yeah, that would suck. I was with people who had plus ones and like, thank God.
Starting point is 01:22:59 So then you go in and I'm walking around trying to get my bearings. Can I ask how they got plus ones or like, who do you have to know? You just know the person who's throwing it or do you? I think that's how they. You have to have your agent book you it. Yeah. I think that's how it was. And, uh, we were floating around and, you know, it's, I don't really know how to describe it.
Starting point is 01:23:26 It's like a party where probably, I don't know, it's the opposite of Osaka. Like having fun and looking goofy and doing bits is not what you're supposed to do. You're just looking cool. You're meant to be stone-faced and stoic and withdrawn and aloof and like. That's how I feel like LA parties are.
Starting point is 01:23:45 Yeah. It very much felt like that. You gotta keep up an appearance. But I tried to counteract that by being overly friendly and approaching people and introducing myself as though I was at a professional networking event. Like I was at a career services fair for my college with my name tag on, like, hi, I'm so and so, class of 2011.
Starting point is 01:24:06 It's nice to meet you, what's your zodiac sign? And kind of just taking the piss and having a good time with that. Ultimately met some pretty good people. And then Andrew Schultz came in with his whole crew, and I went and said hi to him, and was great and then it was like people saw me hanging out with him so they started treating me better. Really? It's just one of those things. Was that kinetic value or kinetic? Yeah, we're
Starting point is 01:24:34 social climbing. Yeah. Pure like validation. So then one of the girls I guess who was like hosting the party is also a DJ, go figure, and she was gonna do her set. And so the whole staff all of a sudden started herding everybody down into the basement. To call it a basement is a disservice to basements. This was an all glass structure beneath the house. It was all glass? This is crazy.
Starting point is 01:25:05 And it was huge. What? And there was another bar down there with like three bartenders and- And are you tipping bartenders? I certainly didn't. Yeah. I didn't feel the need.
Starting point is 01:25:20 I didn't think they needed it. Yeah, they're wealthier than you. I saw what was in their jar and I thought, they're set. The three loose one dollar bills that I have aren't gonna move the needle. Yeah, as they go back to their G wagons. Yeah, they were huge bills in there. They were probably going M for M.
Starting point is 01:25:39 Yeah, it seemed like they were gonna be going M for M. At one point, I tried to go upstairs just to explore the house and there was a guy at the top of the stairs and said I needed a separate wristband for access to go upstairs just to explore the house and there was a guy at the top of the stairs and said I needed a Separate wristband for access to the other cocaine rooms And I was like a powder white wristband. Yeah, I was like I don't I just wanted to take a peek and he's like trust me I wish I could he's like I want to take a peek too. They just got me standing here House had different you were know, credentials required to explore.
Starting point is 01:26:10 Sorry, Diddy's up here fucking some kids. Yeah. Yeah. What would you have if you got around the secure yard and there's just like 70 children upstairs? I would have snuck them out like it was Handmaid's Tale. Sound of freedom. Yeah. You would have Schindler'suck them out like it was Handmaid's Tale. And uh... Sound of freedom. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:27 He would have Schindler's Listed them out. I wish I could have saved more kids. Yeah. This Rolex. Three kids! The jar downstairs! That's enough for all these kids! My Nikes! Half a kid!
Starting point is 01:26:42 That's what people keep on saying about that white party. They're like, there's gonna be documentaries about what's happening at this party. Everybody loves to fucking- And it seems like it's just a party. Yeah, everyone's like, dude, people are like, I fucking hate Michael Rubin. Look at the sadness behind his eyes. Like, that's a guy who just wants to social climb, but realizes that he'll always be the loser he was in high school.
Starting point is 01:27:03 It's like, I'm pretty sure that's just a random screenshot You took for video Like the sadness in his eyes what like he's just playing touch football on the beach with the entire pro bowl squad Yeah, it's like a cool shit out and Tom Tom Brady and Joe burrow Yeah, he's running slant routes. Yeah fucking the funniest one that all one though to be there is fucking Damar Hamlin though. He was there? Yeah. Damn.
Starting point is 01:27:30 Did he have a nurse with him? Huh? Did he have a nurse with him? Yeah, probably. If he plays touch football, he could fucking touch God. But so you went down to the basement. Yeah, and then she starts doing her music and I'm gonna be honest with you. I was
Starting point is 01:27:49 Entranced it was good. It was amazing. What kind of music was your house? It was all like house, but with melody You know, it wasn't too deep. It was like so it was real DJ transitions made sense. She just had a great playlist Yeah, could have been I don't know I think I've gotten to a point because I went to the and it went to the surf lodge like two days before that for another day of nonsense and Alesso was there performing and he's a big-time DJ. It's like a stadium DJ and he had John Summit join him for a little bit. I don't know who is like one of the rising stars of that world we had a duo is unreal and
Starting point is 01:28:27 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanna know where you are. I got this feeling. I wanna know where you are. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's him. I don't know if you know that one. I think he just sold out like Madison Square Garden. I got this feeling.
Starting point is 01:28:43 I got this feeling. Do you remember his girlfriend named Alex Earl? Ah, yes, yes. Alex Earl. I thought Alex Earl was dating the dude from The Dolphins. What? It's her sister. You're right. Alex Earl is dating Braxton Barrios, but Alex Earl's younger
Starting point is 01:28:58 sister or older sister is dating John Summit. I just found that out too. But they were like, they were doing deeper house stuff than the girl at the party. Oh really? And the girl at the party I actually thought was better. That's amazing. Than Alesso. So...
Starting point is 01:29:14 It's a good compliment. You should tell her that. Yeah. I'm dancing, whatever, you know, having a good time. Then all of a sudden, there's kind of a push among all the people. And you look over and fucking Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire walked in. Damn. I was like, oh my God, what do I do now? And they came and they only stayed for 10 minutes because everyone started like surreptitiously
Starting point is 01:29:48 taking photos of them. Leo, not Toby. And there was no, those guys need a booth. You know? They need a sequestered area to socialize in. But they were there. So they were just in gen pop? They were in general admission.
Starting point is 01:30:07 They were on the Ryanair dance floor. What? Yeah. Did they have a second wristband? They probably had the wristband. They just, but they had to pick their own seats, like Southwest, and they were last ones there, so they were sitting in the middle.
Starting point is 01:30:21 They were paying for Diet Cokes. Damn, that's nasty work. So they probably went upstairs to go. I think so. Yeah, I mean I didn't really see them for very long and then Roll the kids party sucks Old-ass party Where the hell are all the kids at? kids at. Sorry, I was told there'd be kids there. It feels like a retirement home down here. What the fuck is this?
Starting point is 01:30:49 Girls like 19. Probably read. I started reading the sign. I started reading a menu. Fuck. So yeah, that was my night and that was the Hamptons. God damn. I don't know how I ended up there, but that was just one of those random things.
Starting point is 01:31:05 That's the circle you're in. Dude, I was wearing an outfit that was wrong. Yeah? And it was pretty funny. What were you wearing? I was wearing, cause I'd worn clothes to go out to a nice dinner at East Hampton Grill, which has a dress code.
Starting point is 01:31:23 So I was wearing linen khaki colored trousers, fucking espadrilles. It's important that you said khaki colored trousers. Yeah. Because a lot of people will say khakis are a type of pants. They're thinking of chinos. You're right. People say, oh, wear some nice khakis.
Starting point is 01:31:40 No, that's a color. That's very interesting. I never think about that. Some espadrilles. Espadrilles and then a navy, light blue, like sky blue knitted polo that had no buttons. One of those shirts that people wear. That sounds like the exact right thing to do. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:57 No, this was not that kind of a party. I was dressed for Rosé on the bow of a wooden boat. And this was... What were they wearing? What was Leo wearing? You know, he was just in like a t-shirt and... Everyone was like dressed in like LA Street Venice wear. Kind of trucker caps and funky arm tattoos and...
Starting point is 01:32:23 Schultz even? I feel like Schultz is... Schaltz dresses well. He dresses really well. He was wearing a cool short sleeve button down. Kind of the stuff that he wears on stage. Was he wearing shorts? No. Are you out of your mind? That's what I mean. This wasn't a shorts?
Starting point is 01:32:37 This is like a Japanese part. Nobody was wearing shorts. Was there a pool? Yeah. Was anyone swimming in it? I wanted to. No one was swimming in it though? Nobody. I would have been thrown out.
Starting point is 01:32:45 You can't be the first person to swim in that pool. No. Unless Leo's in the pool. Who the fuck is this guy in the pool? I don't know, I saw him talking to Schultz earlier, so. Someone shoot the guy in the pool. Yeah. So yeah, so that was...
Starting point is 01:33:06 That's incredible. That's a, you have a standup special, you're in tires, you're going to these parties. No, I can't say that I am. This is not my comfort zone. I don't want to be there. Get comfortable. It was funny. Because this is your zone now.
Starting point is 01:33:21 Next year's the white party. Start picking out your, you can wear those shoes. Did you see what they sent as invitations for the white party. Start picking out your shoes. You can wear those shoes. Did you see what they sent as invitations for the white party? No. It was like you got a personalized pair of Travis Scott white Air Force 1s. Really?
Starting point is 01:33:34 And then like a cool piece of artwork, drawing, whatever. Really? It was pretty sick. That is sick. But some people were wearing cream. I think someone had some pink in their jacket. Yeah, you don't want to be the guy at the white party in cream. No.
Starting point is 01:33:49 You stand out heavy. I saw a couple guys like that and I was like, you know they're there being like, I thought this was white. It looks white in the mirror. I don't know what the fuck. It looks white against my wardrobe. What the fuck? Is there any paint or something? Some white out? You dick me in white out? There are some people who they're who you're like how the fuck is this guy keep getting how does like Grant Williams and Mo Bomba keep getting invited to the white party? It must be the life of the party. I think you have to have a good appearance because I think
Starting point is 01:34:22 Dave had a bad appearance right? And they said said they take off the top or the bottom 10% every year Yeah, cuz Dave didn't get invited again because he brought multiple people. No, they he tried to bring he tried to get a plus four Yeah, plus three Silvana was back though. Yeah, of course. I Actually saw her at the surf lodge. No, you didn't. Yeah. You really did? Yeah. I went up and said hi. Did you? She was so sweet. Did you know who she was?
Starting point is 01:34:48 Or did she know who you were around? I didn't know if she knew who I was. I knew who she was and then she knew who I was. Cause I met her at your, I met her at the Barstool Awards, the thing at the House of Blues. Yes. That's where I met her.
Starting point is 01:35:00 Very nice. Great time. Yeah. Should be the 21st Barstool Award soon. Wonder if we'll be up for anything. Are they gonna have a 21st? I don't think so. I'm quite sure that they will not. Good shit.
Starting point is 01:35:16 Alright boys. Wow. It's been, we all had a good week. Yeah. Very good week. What the fuck is this? Very different weeks. I got a new phone. It doesn very good week. Yeah, what the fuck is very different ones making noise I got a new phone It doesn't like when I click the off like it doesn't go to blank you probably got to fix it in the settings Yeah, I'll handle it with you after this. Thank you, bro. You're my tech guy
Starting point is 01:35:36 Tech guy sass I'm gonna be in Austin this weekend Austin, Texas Oh shows of the Vulcan Austin, Texas. Oh, mother ship? Four shows of the Vulcan. It's gonna be hot. Vulcan. Stab mother ship. That's gonna be hot.
Starting point is 01:35:47 Tickets at littlesasswatchwebsite.com. See the sass, he's opening for Brendan Shaw about there. Yep. Should be dope. Should be fun. Killers only. Are you going down? For that?
Starting point is 01:35:58 Yeah. I'm not. Because you could probably just go and pop in at the mother ship. Yeah, I could do. Well, you're past. Yeah, exactly. That's why he could pop in. Yeah. Because sass trying to piggyback on the joke when I've never been there
Starting point is 01:36:08 I'm been to Austin since it opened you can go yeah, you have oh Together oh yeah, that was right when it opened yeah when Francis got passed. I'll send a note to Adam Egan. Yeah, that'd be awesome Just make sure you ask him to tell you stories about norm What are you gonna do down there? Because that's his favorite thing. I'm gonna do my shows and go to the mothership and say the M word on stage and get the standing ovation. The pendulum is back! It's fully back!
Starting point is 01:36:39 You're riding a pendulum like fucking Miley Cyrus in the Wrecking Ball video. We just swung the pendulum. You want to take a bunch of Bud Lights and throw them in the trash can and go, we didn't forget. Yeah. That's the last thing you want to do down there, bro. You can burn Mulvaney in effigy, but don't say anything about Bud Light. Bud Light's pendulum swung back on its own.
Starting point is 01:37:10 That's true. Sure did. Show some fucking respect. Pushed with great strength by Shane Gillis. Yeah, exactly. He's the puppeteer of the pendulum. Alright, go see Sass. Frances, any dates? Yeah, we have a bunch in the fall. Sass and I are coming to Cleveland, Rochester, Kansas. We've got Rochester, Kansas, couple spots. I've got a few others. I'll be in Austin in September. On and on. I'm gonna be in Ohio a lot. I think I'm doing Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Columbus. Wow. Cool.
Starting point is 01:37:40 Alright. That's Son of a Boy, Dad. And we're gonna now... Tune into the Mukbang. We're about to eat a bunch of candy. Yes. I's the son of a boy, Dad. And we're gonna now tune into the mukbang. We're about to eat a bunch of candy. Yes, I gotta pee really bad. Alrighty, we'll see you guys on Thursday. Goodbye.
Starting point is 01:37:52 Cool. Was over, still, still underground So, I looked older, till you came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting Before I was I

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