Son of a Boy Dad - Sas Knows Ball - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 98

Episode Date: January 25, 2023

Sas is back from a weekend in Texas, Rone brings Sas his gift from an exotic island vacation, we know a thing or two about the NFL, the case race jitters are starting to hit, Elvis seemed like a cool guy, and fat jokes are timeless. Ads: Factor Go to https://barstool.link/FactorBOYDAD and use code SON60 to get 60% off your first box Manscaped Get 20% off + free shipping with code SON at https://barstool.link/ManscapedBarstoolYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the show. Before we get into things, we're going to need you guys to do us a little favor and subscribe to the show, because we got the numbers back. 60% of you guys that listen are not subscribed to the show, and we're going to need to get

that up or down. 60% of the- We need to get that down, not up. Yeah. We're going to have to get the not subscribed percentage down. Is that 60% of YouTube? 60%. If you're watching on YouTube, you better just do us a favor and just fucking smack that subscribe button.

And honestly, if you're an Apple or a Spotify listener or anywhere, Amazon, subscribe too. Drop some five stars. Hit us with a subscribe. And wherever you're at, just give us a big bonjour amigo. Yeah, bonjour amigo bonjour amigo say it to yourself say it to your amigos hello good night and let's get on to the show all that one more ron give us one more bonjour amigo if you know what i mean and to the show we go wait that kind of had a little bit of a rhyme to it. All right. What's up, everybody?

Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today, it is me and Roan only. Which is nice, I feel like. Because I feel like I really haven't even gotten to talk to you for- Yeah, we haven't done an episode like this in a while. Yeah, it's nice to just sit back and chat instead of having to- Numbers are just skyrocketing. Are they?

Yeah. I haven't been watching the numbers. Are they going dumb? Yeah. I haven't been watching the Nummies. Are they going dumb? Yeah. I love when the people come from like when we have like people from other podcasts and they come in the comments and they're like Are You Garbage comes in at 30 minutes if you guys don't want to

listen to these fucking dumbasses. People are hitting us with that. Happens every time. These Neanderthals. Here's every word that Are You Garbage said. Young Bull comes on at 60 if you guys want to skip happens every time these neanderthals here's every word that are you garbage said young bull comes on at 60 if you guys want to skip through here's an edited version of the podcast without sass and pussies they definitely fucking aren't coming for us but that's fine dude doesn't matter bro that's all that matters is the as long as barstool's making money i'm happy exactly that's

as long as the almighty dollar is getting fucking knelt before as long as dave can get that tv centered i'm cool bro that that tv was horrendous it was did you see that i actually felt bad dude he doesn't deserve this well it's just that it shows that no matter how fucking rich you get man the little man's gonna fuck you every time seriously and that was all in the name of having a sweet interior. This shit was flush against the right wall. It was on a diagonal. He would have to have a...

I'm sick of the working class not treating the upper class properly. I'll say it. I'm right there with you. I'm right there with you. A fucking, like, there's a guy who was working on my house, dude, working on our floors. And he gives me a two-hour window of when he's going to get there, dude. That would have broke his jaw. I don't have fucking two hours to twiddle my thumbs.

What a fucking dumbass. What an absolute piece of shit. He should start a company. Ever thought about that? He doesn't know what it's like to have some fucking... He doesn't even know what a company is, I bet. He doesn't have any companies. He doesn't have any company to keep.

No. He's a broke bastard. He's got no friends, that's for sure. Yeah, fucking Altuve, bro. Keeps on coming by. An absolute bastard. Bastard. You piece of shit.

What a fucking bastard. What's good with you, though? Actually, bro, I have something for you. Remember about six weeks ago when I promised you I had a present from this island vacation? Yeah. And I keep on thinking about it and bringing it up. I think it's the best present I've ever given you.

All right, let's see it. And we could really go through the presents mentally if you want to think of the Detroit sweatshirt, that book that I got you. Yeah, a couple of misses, but it's the thought that counts.

It's really the thought that counts and you just know that you're set up to get better and better presents as you go. Dude, so here's the present.'s this fucking shirt dude from this island called myroo and it says myroo you bought this for me yeah i bought that for you and it was it was sitting out on the line in the sun and it probably was in the sun for about it looks like it got 17 years the front of it's faded as fuck dude but i actually do like this i feel like this yeah i

feel like that kind of has you you uh written all over it show the camera dude show the i do like dark blue so the dark blue is nice and then the sunspot is fucking preposterous aggressive sunspot the dye just came off of it but that's better than tieye a sunspot on a shirt a natural sunspot just from roasting years of tourists coming and not buying shit and then that fucking dolphin shirt that probably existed that they just printed the word myru on it's definitely better than the detroit sweatshirt all right well i'm getting better yeah i'm fucking moving on up i'll probably wear that are you gonna put it on now no well you also said you wear the Detroit sweatshirt, too. No, I think I strictly said I will never wear this. You did?

Yeah. All right, bro. Well, fuck it. No, that's from my room, bro. Thank you, man. They have no police station, no hospitals there. So I just thought I'd teach you a little bit about the culture there. Thank you, man.

I appreciate that. No problem, bro. That's just how I fucking feel, bro. I really appreciate that. Where the hell have you been at? Man, I've just been everywhere, you know? really appreciate that where the hell have you been at man i've uh just been everywhere you know you really have been everywhere you have fucking stand-up shows every weekend saw you at your stand-up show in the city yeah uh the the boys the boys are throwing it yeah it was fun uh i was in texas this week and it was fun good time didn't really do much but it was shows were. Yeah. What kind of hotel were you staying at?

Just I think the only hotel there. I forget what it was even called. Was it by a. Camira. Was it by a casino? No. I got a DM from somebody who said, I played pool with your boy Sass and I regret to inform you that he is buns.

Oh, really? Who was it? I don't know. It was a random stranger and they said that you sucked at pool. But then i saw a picture of what looked like a pretty cool picture of you guys playing pool well actually i guess anyone that we played after the shows i lost to so maybe they're right but also it wasn't really in the it wasn't really in the mood you know what do you mean it was like it was after the shows kind of just wanted to grab a beer and then go home grab a beer grab some jack-in-the-box and go home. Grab a beer, grab some Jack in the Box and go home.

There was a lot of Jack in the Box. Just look at the Instagram comments and go home. Read the YouTube comments and get the hell on home. I didn't really have any like crazy nights at all. I mean, I was tucked away by midnight most nights. Interesting. I watched a lot of South Park. South Park's a great show.

Yeah. Seinfeld, The Office. So you're really boning up on your fucking classic comedies. Yeah, I'm going through a Curb phase now because I finished Always Sunny. I mean, I've seen Always Sunny like a hundred times and I've also seen all of the Curb episodes. But Curb is just, dude, it's just punchline after punchline. Like there's not a single scene where there's not a joke. Yeah.

Did they just shoot that kind of like freewheelingly? I think so, yeah. And it's still crazy that they wound up with that many jokes by just uh like having a objective in a scene and just trying to get to the end of the scene yeah i i want to say the i like heard somewhere that they only that larry david will write like seven pages for like a 30 minute show which usually that's like 30 minute 30 pages that's fucking sick and so he'll basically just write he's lazy as hell yeah he'll write like the storyline of like what's gonna happen and then it's just like all improv i agree that improv acting is way better yeah it's also way harder you think so i mean you could have a great writer who just gets good actors and it would still be funny i think that sometimes

though especially with comedy and jokes like being in your head and like saying the same thing Over and over again Like doesn't lend itself to like Finding naturally funny shit No yeah I'm watching season 5 And it's fucking hilarious Actually I can't wait to go home and watch it after this

I'm fucking happy for you Oh my god We're dropping in tonight for sure I'm pumped I got a good night lined up really do yeah it's gonna be a good night and i could tell in your skin like you're kind of you have a little bit of a glow to you it's just of a man who's satisfied yeah i am satisfied i could tell you're in the gym now i i have been in the gym but i gotta go i should go today i could tell you where i should No, bro. Go home. Play some Warzone. Watch some.

Do you ever have a show on in the background where you're gaming? I used to do that, but I can't really. I used to do that when I would play like Call of Duty multiplayer because you don't really have to focus that much because you're kind of just killing everyone that runs by you. But Warzone is much more of like a tactical. You got to have a game plan when you go in. So you can't really be watching anything on the side. Also, you're talking to the boys, so you don't want to be... What about music in the background?

God, no. You need to be full focused. Throw in the turtle beaches, block everything out. You gotta be locked in, dude. You have to have the turtle beaches on? Yes. Does everybody? If you're good, yeah.

The whole squad? your whole squad does? Three of us do. One of us don't. And the one that doesn't, he sucks. And he loses the game for us all the time. Maybe it's time for some turtle beaches. Yeah, I might have to buy him some. You should.

I know. You're the big spender of the group. No, I'm not. Who is? I guess me. Well, I don't spend any money. They're just all really broke. Exactly.

That's what I mean. Yeah. You're paid Yeah You're fucking growing We're about to have episode 100 of this show I know I've heard That's fucking sick

I feel like you're not excited about it I am excited Honestly it's not Nothing to be excited about No it really isn't No I don't know It's just the 100th episode Yeah

It's just like any other episode Yeah You're gonna be like a grumpy ass dad Being like Don't celebrate my birthday It's just another fucking day It's just another day for me No episode. You're going to be like a grumpy ass dad being like, don't celebrate my birthday. It's just another fucking day. It's just another day for me. No, episode 100 will be good.

We'll plan something out. What's there to celebrate? We're just getting older. Yeah, I'm sure we'll have a big plan. 10 minutes before the show. So what do you want to talk about? I'll show you the prep sheet that I wrote. I will.

I'd love to see it. I'll show you after the show. Yeah. I don't want you to see right now and get influenced, dude. I feel like you're really on the heater right now. I am. I'm on fire. I'm firing in all cylinders right now.

I know. It's fucking insane. I can't believe what I'm watching right now. Yeah. Sorry about your bills, bro. I feel depressed about them. Oh, yeah. That sucked.

I mean, it wasn't like, it was whatever, but i think the worst part was how i had to watch the game just with dude it would be like one play pause all of a sudden to fast forward it's like 10 minutes has been paused for 10 minutes and they're up they're down by 10 more points it was terrible watching sports on a plane is the worst and i've yeah i've learned to like schedule around it i feel like i was but it was destroying my football season if you get one of those planes like so it was like a delta plane and they had the good tvs the touchscreen one and usually those have live tv on them this one didn't have any of that didn't even have a flight map all it had all it had was 12 movies and games so what were you watching it on i was watching on

my phone oh fuck that yeah you can't watch shit you can't street it's like illegal to street you probably almost crashed the plane i spent 75 on wi-fi you did yeah how because i bought the wi-fi before we took off as soon as we got on the plane because i was like the game starts in like 10 minutes so i bought the wi-fi i bought the streaming one which was 25 which i think i'm gonna get the membership because the membership actually seems like it's a good deal oh it's a really good deal that's how you but you got to get the membership because the membership actually seems like it's a good deal. Oh, it's a really good deal. But you got to get the insurance on the membership. Yeah, of course. That's how they get you, but it's also really worth it. It is.

Yeah. So I got the $25. We take off. As we're taking off, Wi-Fi disconnects. We get back to like 10,000 feet when the Wi-Fi like really comes, kicks in. Not connecting. So I had to buy it again on my phone. not connecting so i had to buy it again on my phone and then it like wasn't working on my phone well because i kept on closing out of it to open up twitter and having it like in the side of my

screen and then i was like i fuck i guess i'll buy it on my laptop so i bought it on my laptop and then it didn't work on my laptop either because you're probably probably slowing down all the wi-fi around you by being on all the life so annoying i was so mad you're like a 90s movie computer hacker with like seven screens in front of you trying to get the game but i thought it would work i've watched games on my phone before on planes and it's worked very well but i guess playing wi-fi is kind of just a hit or miss you just had to be on twitter huh i did yeah you couldn't just sit and fucking let the wi-fi buffer absolutely not you just had to fucking be on twitter yeah well what i was waiting for was someone to tweet at me and be like yo you sucked You couldn't just sit and fucking let the Wi-Fi buffer. Absolutely not. You just had to fucking be on Twitter.

Yeah. Well, what I was waiting for was someone to tweet at me and be like, yo, you sucked in Texas. So I had to be refreshing my notifications. I heard that shows were bangers. Yeah. No one said they sucked. Everybody said you ripped. So why are you all, you gotta, you gotta find one person to make you feel bad.

Wait, so why were you waiting on that? I don't know. You just wanted feedback. It's tough on standup cause you don't really get the feedback, huh? I know. Isn't that probably good though? It's probably a little bit healthier no i i don't know if you heard from everybody what they thought about the show you could kill and have like a 95 approval rate and then you'd see the five percent and you'd be like what the fuck is this it would hurt your feelings badly i would hope it's more than 95% that are satisfied. 99.9%.

Yeah, I'm hoping there's maybe like three people who are like, that was fucking bad. I feel like you got to not offend some people, but some people have to be against you. Oh, yeah, 100%. For it to go forward. Yeah, you can't win them all. Exactly. It's the name of the game. I think you want to have 50% of your audience hate you.

At least. No, no, no. Maybe 90%. Dude, that's my... This is the mean girls philosophy. Dude, so we have, for those who don't know, we have the case race for the Yak. It's this barstool show that we do. I'm going to start talking like people don't know that we're at Barstool Podcast.

And they don't only know us from the Yak. My coworker, Big Cat. Yeah. My coworker, Dave Porter. We work with... It's his birthday birthday so we're doing a case or chicago yeah um dude i've been like like up at night like rolling around in it with anxiety because of the case race why i think my goal is to just i don't even want there to be I don't want there to be one comment about, I want people to even forget that I'm even there. That's not gonna happen.

It is. You can't have beers without talking. No, I'm not gonna talk. I'm going in there. I'm not hating on you but that's just like how it is for anybody. You can't have beers without fucking like opening. I went back and I looked at all the comments from the last one to get me prepared that's why you couldn't watch the game on the

plane yeah you're fucking i looked at all the comments and i was like i can't do this again dude it was that was my life for like a month straight just every day 20 dms you ruin the case race but think about the last couple times we had drinking on that show that show uh the act that we do on barstool Sports think about the last times that we drank on it it was like the whatever

the jungle juice race yeah there was no negativity that was that one people got pissed at me no they didn't people said I faked drink people said I wasn't drinking

no they said you were good vibes yeah that was like your most like well received thing you've ever done well that was only like that was like 30 minutes long no people were loving that

I think they just like when you sing they love when you sing you know people are like sass has a great voice yeah i don't know dude it's it's uh i gotta figure something out though but i think i'm just gonna be i'm gonna agree with everyone never gonna i'm never once gonna disagree with someone that's one of my big points to make the whole time i'm just gonna be like yeah man if someone's like hey you suck i'll be like all right like i respect you man. If someone's like, hey, you suck. I'll be like, all right. Like, I respect you. Do you think that's the way to win people over?

That's my strategy. And you can keep an eye out for it on Thursday because it's happening. You think I should play that? Dude, I planned this out at like three in the morning last night. I was running through scenarios. I was like, oh, dude, you suck. You're not drinking. I'm like, ah, you know, trying my best.

That's the strategy. That's hilarious. you know try my best that's the strategy because i can't dude because i'm gonna get i can't i don't know that's all i can do it's a losing situation for me you're gonna get angry no no not gonna get angry ever but like are you going and you're afraid that you're gonna get angry before like what happened last time that you're seeing in all the comments that you think you need to work on well i think i i just gotta not talk unless i'm talked to less spoken to and you gotta be a good little dude for everyone that anyone that comments and they're like sass sucks like he didn't participate in this look back at your comments that you made to me on the last case race and realize why i'm doing this or uh be like hey he really improved. He took constructive criticism and you guys only meant it to be nice

and to criticize so you can make Sass better. Exactly. And so he took your advice. I don't blame anybody except myself. You're the only one. You're the bad person that actually ruined that case race. I ruined it and I'm going to try and not ruin this one. And it wasn't anybody else's fault except for yours.

So you can just fucking get better and make this case race positive and fun. fun i'm just gonna i'm just gonna be sipping on beers maybe i'll throw some headphones in listen to some music be an easy laugh yeah hey that's funny great shit yeah good shit you guys are funny you should do a show together yeah without me talk about that all the time. Pair people up and be like, you two could kill together. Shane and KB? I like this dynamic. I like this. This is good.

Big Cat and Brandon. There's something to this. I like it. What can we call you guys? That's my strategy. What is your strategy? Just do the same thing you've done? Just be an absolute dickhead.

Just drink one beer? Yeah. Drink one beer. Dump it out. I probably shouldn't even have told you my strategy. Why? I don't know. You think I'll use it against you?

I think you might. Yeah, now that you've said that, I probably won't. Well, it'd be pretty hard to use it against me. No, you're probably right. I am being an asshole. Yeah. No, I might try your strategy. I don't know.

I think it's hell for everybody involved. You gotta come up with your own strategy. If it's a good strategy. I am being an asshole. Yeah. No, I'll try. I might try your strategy. I don't know. I think it's hell for everybody involved. You gotta come up with your own strategy. If it's a good strategy, I'm gonna use it. This is a safe space. I trusted you with that. You can't be going and using my strategy. If it's a good strategy, it's just a game plan. It's not like you own the game plan.

Like, that might be the best game plan. I can't be an asshole. My game plan has nothing to do with winning the race. I might throw the race, honestly. As long as it takes more or less attention. It takes any attention off of me. Big Cat will be pissed off at you. Who's your teammates? Big Cat and Nick.

Yeah. Pretty good team. It is. Salt team. I mean, I'm going to drink. If I have to have like eight beers, I'll be fine. I'll be fine off of eight beers. Well, it beers That's what you're Well it's 24

So you're gonna have to have Less than eight beers Cause big cattle Drink more than Yeah So I'll be fine It was last time I drank like ten

And the thing is I went back And I looked at it And it was like People are like He should quit drinking He sucks when he's drunk It's like dude

I don't usually go out And drink ten beers In an hour Not in an hour But over the course Of the night You definitely drink More than that

Six hours Cause you're a lush Ten hours You're a crumb bum lush Ten beers in an hour. Not an hour, but over the course of the night, you definitely drink more than that. Over the course of like six hours. Because you're a lush. Ten hours. You're a crumb-bum lush. Not ten beers in an hour. What about the cupcakes? I don't know. I don't like that part at all. I kind of like cupcakes. I fucking didn't. I mean, I just like cupcakes. You know what? Actually, I like it. How many is it? I love it. Sixteen?

I think we should actually do more cupcakes. Sixteen cupcakes among three people. So that's at least five cupcakes a person. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that. You're going to be so much more likable. People love someone who has no opinion. I'm going to have one beer and this whole plan is going to go right out the window.

Fuck you! I don't make enough money. So you say, how much do you guys make? How much do you guys make? Bro, I'm blessed. I'm blessed. It's all I can do is look up and thank God for the day. Yeah, no, totally.

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That's insane. That's insane. All right. Now back to the show. People love somebody that's just like a people pleaser and that's just completely vanilla you know that's the key to having a long-term happy relationship with someone else someone who has no opinions and never wants anything for fear of everyone else's opinion of them yeah are you gonna take an adderall before i want to but i'm afraid i might that won't let

what like a 10 or like i'm going to 50 i want to drink and not feel anything from the alcohol. Dude, when I, the last rap battle I did, I took like a 30 of Vyvanse beforehand. And I was like fucking, I look like a fiend, dude. I look like an absolute psychopath. And I need it in between because I don't take really Adderall like that. I just wanted to make sure I didn't like forget anything because it's like performance enhancing drugs. And I need to find like a smaller amount than that because it like ruined my night i don't even i've taken adderall once yeah but i've taken it like i used to take it all the time when i was taking the max

dose i was like six and i would just be like laying in bed at night just i need to take a trace amount yeah i think i'm not gonna take any i don't really need it i'm just gonna take a trace amount. Yeah. I'm probably not going to take any. I don't really need it. I'm just going to take a little fentanyl. Yeah. It's not a bad idea. Just like a pinky of fentanyl. Just loosen up. Just like a little ring pop and dip it in some fentanyl. Suckle on it a little bit.

You know that fentanyl jokes are like off limits. Like people don't really fuck with them. Really? Yeah. People get like, people get pissed about that. Interesting. That's an interesting thing to get pissed off about. Yeah.

I think that when you don't let someone talk about something, you give more power to it. Exactly. That's what my Uber driver said on the way home from Texas. He said, people would get mad at you for saying the M word on stage, but if a black guy goes up and says it, no one cares. He goes, that's hypocritical. And I was like, yeah, yeah, for sure. Dude, literally, I avoided, he kept on asking what I was, what I was doing in Texas. And I kept on being like, oh, just out here for work. And then I, and then eventually like, we're like pulling up to the airport and I was like,

oh, I'm a, actually I'm a comedian. Like he was like, so what do you do for work? I was like, oh, I'm a comedian. And within 30 seconds, he's going on a rant about the M word. I'm not like, like dude like it was crazy crazy you agree don't you yeah and i was like yeah dude and he's like well have a nice day he's like bless you man and uh good luck with your career and i was like yeah for sure yeah so i had anything on youtube and i said no nothing just to make sure you couldn't find

anything on youtube i've deleted my entire web presence isn't that kind of antithetical trying to maximize your seo and then he said if a fat dude if i went up and made a fat joke people get mad but if a fat girl went up and made a fat joke people would praise her and i was like dude we don't know each other this is weird leave me alone yeah the n-word one was the first thing he said and it was i was i was like holy shit how come they can say yeah no we can't that's literally what it was like i was shocked you should have broke it down for him i know i would be like well okay so what you got to do is follow sean king on twitter he'll explain it all to you

he'll explain it all to you follow Brooklyn dad yeah this guy should have you covered on I was shocked dude actually you should have lectured his ass from the back seat that's the thing what like

what if I did disagree like what if I like was like ah no dude like you're wrong like obviously he is wrong but like what if I said that dude I like, ah, no, dude, like, you're wrong. Like, obviously, he is wrong, but, like, what if I said that? What would he have said? Dude, I won't even do that with my family members. No, no. Everyone's always like, you got to stick up for, you got to stand down, you got to stand

up for yourself and, like, tell these people off, tell them they're wrong. Like, dude, I would never do that. I'm not going to get into some weird argument with my Uber driver as I'm pulling up to the airport about, like, race. That's the last thing I'm trying to do. That's the last thing I want to do. Tired as fuck. Yeah.

Just like cracking my knuckles. Pull over. I'm going to actually, I'm going to change my flight. Let's go get a, let's go get food somewhere. I got to talk to you. Yeah. And I'm going to take you to a black neighborhood. We're getting soul food, brother.

Okay. This lady's name is Juanita. She cooked this. Say what you were saying to me. Dude, it's just crazy that like, there's actually people like that who are like, like that, like they have to get that takeoff. I don't understand. Well, yeah.

I mean, I've never had to take it. I think it's, I think it's, uh, you can really tell where people are getting their, uh, like what, what people like listen to for their types of like media, like the podcast shows and websites that they go to it's like if that's what they're hearing all the time it's also like dude anyone can go and make a fat joke on stage and no one is gonna care yeah n word no i don't think that really flies but fat jokes are timeless fat jokes are timeless fat jokes are perfect yeah fat jokes are like fart jokes is like fucking blubbered out brother but we call them plus size jokes now um yeah that

was weird as fuck and while that's happening mook sending me pictures of like him with a gun yeah i was like what the hell is going on dude this is like this was this was all within 10 minutes of me leaving texas yes mooks i saw that point at his head a a gun pointed at his head. Fucking crazy. A loaded gun pointed at his head and my Uber driver is ranting about the N-word. I'm like, what the hell? The whole time, I'm always like, dude, Texas is not what I expected it to be. That's what I think every time, except when we went to Waco. But every other time, I'm like, dude, this is not at all what I expected it to be. And then right as I'm leaving, I'm like, this is exactly what everyone expects it to be.

Yeah, that was a, I need to get out of Texas. Yeah, all over the course of 10 to get out of Texas. Yeah. All over the course of 10 minutes, as I'm like boarding the plane. Just a woman with a gun to your head. Yeah. What the fuck, dude? That's fucking, I don't know, dude.

You're out of your mind. He texted it to us. I'm like, oh, that's a weird picture. I can't make fentanyl jokes. I thought it was a fake gun. I can't make make fentanyl jokes I thought it was a fake gun I can't make a fentanyl joke but we can make loaded gun jokes what's more deadly you can survive fentanyl I just mean I've made fentanyl jokes

and people comment and they're like dude what the fuck is wrong with you got some fucking nerve but it's always on twitter I'm on fentanyl right now dude you don't want these fucking problems you don't know the fuck is crazy is it it is crazy when you log off for like a weekend like when you're busy and then you come back on and you see everyone like freaking out

about the m&ms and you're like dude if i talk to any of my friends they'd be like what the fuck are you they'd be like there's a green m&? They'd be like, there's a green M&M. They'd be like, what the hell are you talking about? Yeah, I did a good job of avoiding that. Yeah. People are like, Tucker strikes again. He destroyed the Spokes candies. Yeah, I saw a clip and people were like, this was all in one night of Tucker.

Yeah. How big is Tucker Carlson? Is that one of the biggest Spokes shows? I think he's like 6'2". Yeah, I think he is. He's a big guy. He's strong. He's a strong guy. He's fucking strapped up, bro. Have you seen the shirtless pics of him oh yeah jacked that's why i know fucking that's why dave hangs out with him yeah body goals

yeah archetype goals no i think he gets like fucking 10 million people watching him a night it's fucking crazy i'm making that number up completely i think it was like that out of my put out that list of like the biggest shows in the world and Joe Rogan was number one I think number two was Tucker just trying to figure out why people can say the n-word I was like I don't have a Tucker Carlson impression but like that's gotta be like

who your taxi or your Uber driver is like yeah 100% alright well it was a fun episode Who you're like taxi or your Uber drivers like. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. All right. Well, it was a fun episode. I don't mind Tucker Carlson. I don't know anything about him.

I don't watch him. Yeah. You clearly do. I don't want time every night. Yeah. One of 10 million. Whenever Francis goes on, I have to see it. I was heartbroken.

Fucking kills on Tucker. I was heartbroken. Francis fucking kills on Tucker. I was heartbroken when I lost him. Yeah. Francis Ellis from Fox News. And Bro Bible. Is that what it said? No. I wish.

Me and Francis are actually doing shows together at Cobb's in San Francisco. And those tickets, I think, go on sale tomorrow, I believe. The fucking legendary Cobb's? The legendary Cobb's. And I'm also going to be in Boston next weekend. But bad news. Probably all the shows will be sold out by the time this comes out. Because they fucking love you in Boston. Because they fucking love me.

But we are actually adding a late show to Thursday. So stay tuned to that. You've got to go fucking have some clam chowder and some fish while you're out i know i'm pumped remember when we went to boston and we went to that dope ass uh seafood place yeah we got those tiny ass tacos we ran it back when we did the uh laugh boss anus you guys went to that same place kb got the same he wanted to do everything everything the same yeah he got the same ones still Still tiny. Dude, that was fucking hilarious. I wish the pictures did it justice because the pictures don't make them look as small as they are in person.

They were tiny. They were like the size of a Lego. It was bad. Yeah. He asked if they caught bigger fish since then. Really? Same size fish. I mean, it was the size of like a dumpling.

It was bad. Yeah. Where do you take people when they go to your hometown to eat? No one goes to my hometown. When someone visits you, where do you take them to eat? Like in New York? Yeah. Or anywhere.

Do you have places you take people? You're like, oh, you got to go to this place. Like, like when I go to, when I, like when my buddies were here, we went to some Mexican restaurant that's like right next to my apartment. And then we went to, it was my buddy Bo is like he's like a cook so he loves food so he like did all the research and was like we got reservations at all these places i feel like that's a skill set that i would love to have to just be like oh i fucking know this place here know this place here it'd be nice to be able to like take people places like we were talking about like taking people to get a cheesesteak

when you go to philly and i guess i know those places but i don't know like this fucking sweet ass restaurant or this fucking sick ass bar yeah i mean i guess if i was taking someone in my hometown i'd bring them to like a seafood place that's there's like two restaurants in my home in new york you bring people to places where there's pints of beer and fucking pool pool halls i guess yeah but like i there's not like is new york known for one food aside for pizza? Pastrami. Pastrami? I hate pastrami.

I know, it sucks so bad, dude. It sucks so bad. We can stop pretending. I can't even fathom being one of those people. I can't imagine being one of those people

that's like, let's go to Cat's Deli. Cat's is the only good one. But like, be like, for lunch? Dude, I would be asleep

10 minutes later. But all the rest of them aren't even similar to Cat's. Like, the rest of them are fucking, uh. Clearly, I'm in the wrong minutes later. But all the rest of them aren't even similar to cats. Like, the rest of them are fucking... Clearly, I'm in the wrong, too, because that place has a line out the door every single day. Well, because it's famous.

People will go anywhere that's fucking famous. Yeah. But the rest of the shit is, like, boiled. Like, the rest of the pastrami in the world is, like, slimy, thin-cut. Like, they had tongue and pastrami at the restaurants, and they tasted the same. Like, uncured tongue and fucking pastrami. Wait, where was this?

At one of the places we went to for neighborhood eats. Oh, yeah. You weren't at, you didn't go to that one? No, I did the, I did Cat's Deli. You went to Cat's. But even that was like, dude, it was just like eating a big ass hot dog. I had an alarm that says to tell you to stop being a bitch. Oh, shit.

All right. Hey, I respect that. I appreciate you for letting me know, man. Good one. Good ribbing. To think I wasn't being a bitch. Yes, I was. I'll work on that.

That's literally Stephen Chay's. I know. I know. I'm going with Chay's method. Yeah. Except I'm not going to try and fight's. I know, I know. I'm going with Chay's method. Yeah. Except I'm not going to try and fight anyone. But he, yeah, but I don't even think he was trying to fight, like, he was trying to be, he was trying to like, Chay out.

He also got goaded into doing that. Like, Shane went to the bathroom and they, everyone told him that he, that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He got set up once Chay had a couple beers in, too. He got set up big time. Once he had a little bit of liquid courage. We're going to be great. We're going to be likable.

People are going to go nuts for how likable we are. I think we just got to remove the competition aspect of it and just get drunk and have fun. Yeah. I mean, our team's going to be just good vibes entirely. Do you want to just come and be on our team? I would love to. My team's not going to be good vibes at all.

Just come and join up our team. Why would your team. My team's not going to be good vibes at all. Just come and join up our team. Why would your team not be good vibes? Because we're competitive. Okay. But, dude, like the first one was so good vibes. Dude, the first one was chill as hell. No. No, the first one was like fun as fuck.

It was like we just like played. We drank for two hours and then we just like fucked around for two hours you think you had a bad time because someone was mean to you i think i was being uh people were being mean to me but i think i i deserved it honestly i think i brought that upon myself that's like a toxic syndrome that like children have of what like being like i deserve that like oh mom and dad are just fighting because i fucking i deserve it. If I just act a little bit better, maybe.

Well, it usually is the kid's fault when parents are getting divorced. Yeah, mommy and daddy wouldn't get divorced. If I cleaned up my room a little bit nicer. It definitely is on the kids, bro. If you cleaned up your room, your dad would not have fucked the secretary. Kind of on you if you didn't get a fucking b in math daddy wouldn't have a dui right now from watching porn while he drove drunk home from the bar at 3 p.m good shit just studied a little bit. Just applied yourself a little bit more.

Yeah, I guess I can't. I don't know. I can't speak on that, you know? My parents are in a happy marriage. They love each other to death. Do the, when you were growing up, do the women in your... You're just getting a preview of the case race.

It's my bad. I'll fall back on that one I guess I'm not really in the position to speak on that am I a little bit over my head I'm kind of young for that one why don't you older guys take this one why don't you old guys take this one I'm going to sit back and I'm going to learn

and I mean old in a wise aspect nothing but reverence for you guys permission to sit down and listen for once I'm acknowledging my privilege by even being on this show before I even say anything, but please, what were the jokes you were making? What was that good one you said about five minutes ago? I really liked it and thought it was funny. Oh, man. Let's talk about Manscaped.

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So when are you going out to fucking phoenix bro you pumped i gotta go on friday i'm going on friday for this friday or next friday i'm going this friday and then two fridays from now i'm going back about to be a phoenix boy phoenix boy giant do make, why are you going to, why are you going this Friday? For a gambling competition. Oh, shit. Oh, so you're not going to be able to watch the birds. The gambling competition. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bird gang. Yo, dude, what the fuck do you know about that, dude? You're not going to be able to watch. Dude, you got to go down to Philly and hold it

down in East Falls, dude. Hell no. Go to Murph's. What are you talking about, dude? Go to fucking Murph's. Lock in. I'm not going to Murph's, bro. Then go to fucking murphs lock in i'm not going to murphs bro then go to the ale house sunday football is going to be a blast this weekend for me because i can just i wake up and i just turn it on i lay in bed under the covers you got to start telling your whoever books your comedy shows to stop booking your weekends i know right weekdays only yeah book me a meaty fucking monday to wednesday in plano yeah just give me a nine to five working

comedy just let me clock into the office like everyone else so i can have my weekends and my nights dude a lot of people do sunday shows like you know how i'll do like a thursday yeah a lot of people will do like if you're like like some people will do friday to sunday and then some people will do thursday to sunday if if you're like selling out all the shows. During football season? Yeah. Can't be me. No.

Except we did get to watch the game in the green room. Which one? Birds, bro. Were you going nuts? I know Mook was. I know Mook was fucking. Well, I wasn't. I gave Saquon Barkley to score and he just shit the bed.

Dude, that's why you can't put your props above your team. You shouldn't even bet on that. No, I know.ook was fucking... Well, I wasn't. I gave Taequann Barkley the score and he just shit the bed. Dude, that's why you can't put your props above your team. You shouldn't even bet on that. No, I know. I realized that. You got to just pick your team and love your team. I think you just shouldn't. I think I just shouldn't bet on teams that I want to win. Because your vision gets clouded.

Well, you do like the best teams, so they do have the best chance of winning. Yeah, but it's like if the Eagles were winning the Super Bowl and I had like some weird bet that hadn't hit, I would probably be more focused on that than the fact that the Eagles were winning the Super Bowl. Right. So why don't you just bet on the Eagles only to win the Super Bowl? Because the odds are going to be like minus 400. No, not to win the Super Bowl.

Please, bro. Minus 400? You could at least get. You know where you're at. You could at least get one to one odds. The Eagles are the best team left. Cover a spread. Huh?

They're the best team left by a mile. I think they're plus 300 right now. They're plus 300 right now. And who's ahead of them? What, the Chiefs? We're plus 230. Bengals plus 250. Chiefs plus 280.

So if you put $100 on it right now. The Bengals are going to smack the Chiefs. You think so? Smack. Really? No, I could see the Chiefs winning the Super Bowl for sure. But I hope the Bengals win. I hate the Chiefs. I hate Patrick for sure. But I hope the Bengals win. I hate the Chiefs.

I hate Patrick Mahomes. Why? I don't know. Because he beat the Bills? Or because he has a weird voice? He didn't beat the Bills. Well, once he did. At some point.

This season? Back in the day. Yeah, probably. Not this year. No, not this year. They won that tight game. Yeah. That tight-ass game.

By a field goal. So then why do you hate him? I don't know. I just don't like him. Maybe it's because of his brother. You know ball though i know ball even the way you're talking but you got to start giving out your parlays people don't like that i know ball though people get mad at me i know well because they'll be like you don't actually know ball you don't know ball that's my thing that's how all dudes are with football it's so weird dude it's like dude only i'm allowed to watch the most popular sport in the world have you ever noticed how guys act when like a woman starts like talking about football

how like they're like no actually like that that's actually a good thing for us like it's a four three formation and like it's nickel coverage so like you don't know like the dime supposed to do there dude i i tweeted like about my about like the bails losing or something and someone was like why don't you go back to watching fucking lacrosse or golf or whatever you watch? I was like, dude, you think I'm watching lacrosse and golf? It's like, what kind of fucking... And it's also like, why the hell do you care?

There's probably like 50 million people watching this game right now. People are so obsessed with thinking they know more about football than someone else. It's such a weird thing. Just competitively watching something that they don't play. No. It's like, I just know more ball than you.

Yeah. I get people being like, oh, this is my team. You're not a real fan of this team. But I don't even get that that much. I welcome everybody to root for the Eagles. It's more fun if we can shit on the other team and high five and have fun. But a lot of people disagree with that. But that's people whose fun is detracted by someone else having fun around them

it's like the same as somebody playing with a toy that you're not playing with and you're getting mad about about them playing with it i think it's like when they're like oh the eagles won the super bowl and then people are like yeah that's awesome and they're like why is that awesome for you you should be sad i'm happy you should not be happy that is what my team when you get the us against the world mentality that is what happens yeah i'm happy and everybody else is fucking sad yeah that's what the parade's all about you're gonna i'm gonna i'm going full troll mode now for the rest of the season what kind you'll see being i'm to be in every single comment. Give us a preview. No, you'll have to just

wait and see because I haven't crafted anything up yet. What kind of shit though? I'm going to make some memes tonight. Yeah? Yeah. Dude, I'll look over sometimes and you'll be like on like a Google sketch pad like fucking like zooming in on like a fucking graphic that you're making for like no one

to see or something like that. Like fucking graphic that you're making for like no one to see or something like that. Like a cartoon that you're like fucking just changing the features on ever so slightly. Like holding it back with like your tongue in your cheek and then like going back in and like a maestro. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make some good. I'm probably going to make some like Breaking Bad crossover NFL memes. It's going to be good shit. Why Breaking Bad?

Because people love that shit. Is that what people fuck with? Yeah. Are you going to be trolling Eagles fans or just? Because people love that shit. Is that what people fuck with? Yeah. Are you going to be trolling Eagles fans? Yeah. Or just like... Everyone besides the Eagles. Oh, okay. But I'll probably be trolling them as an Eagles fan. So let's light up the Niners, dude. The Niners? Yeah, I was thinking the Chiefs.

Yeah, I guess. Wait, so who's playing this weekend? Eagles, I guess. The Niners. Eagles against the Niners. Yeah, so I'll go with the Niners. Christian McCaffrey? Yeah. Say some crazy shit about him being a Christian or some shit. I don't know. I'll do some research.

Make fun of fucking like the church fucking kids or something. Yeah. Bosa's racist. Bosa's racist. Bosa's racist. Purdy, Brock Purdy. Purdy's like sounds like pretty, like something like that. Dude, what do you think about the whole Damar Hamlin thing?

Dude, I think it's crazy that he actually got hurt like that. No, like do you think he's, do you think he was, do you think he was at the game? I don't know. i don't know i don't know the the i'm not a big conspiracy theory guy but i watched that video and i was like this is fucking weird at first i i did think it would it look weird that he wasn't at the game but then all the people who have been saying that it looks weird are people that i i don't who also thought the vaccine was why he almost died or yeah or yeah people just i don't want to align myself with maybe the vaccine was dude i don't even fucking know but i don't want to align myself with any of that carlson's not bad maybe the vaccine is the reason he almost died and i don't have the answer wasn't there

i don't have the answer you get a graphic for this? Ron's takes of the episode? Is that an Iran shirt? Yeah, and an Iran shirt on. Jesus Christ. I can have my own opinions, dude. I'm not entitled to my own opinions. I'm not entitled to my own opinions. Anything you want to say about the Jews or something? I mean, I don't think that there's anything that... A lot of hesitation.

Good answer to speed no no no I mean they've gotten their grubby hands on enough already alright what do you have against Iran bro I didn't realize you had a big problem

with Iran bro I don't I love it I appreciate them yeah exactly I appreciate all they've done or what do you have against Tucker Carlson we could I guess start there I respect the hell out of him

yeah that's the type of shit I'm saying. What other type of shit was I saying? How else was I talking out of my ace? You've been doing a lot of talking out of your ace. Your ace? Bro, why don't you go down to Philly this weekend and fucking watch the

fucking game at McGillis? Why do you want me to go to Philly so bad, bro? Because you're an Eagles fan and you should be amongst your people. I can't be there. I'd kill to be able to go to the game. I have to go to Philly so bad, bro? Because you're an Eagles fan and you should be amongst your people. I can't be there. I'd kill to be able to go to the game. I have to go to this gambling competition. I'd kill to be able to be on stream. You go to the game.

No, bro. Yeah. You don't know how to do it. Why? What do you have to do? Nothing. Nothing. It's going to be a fun weekend.

Are you going? Yeah. I'll come. No, I just have to kind of like host the it's like the year-end gambling competition. So it's the best gamblers on the Barstool Sportsbook. They're all congregating in Arizona. Damn, are they all like rich as fuck? Some of them

are like just good. It's not like only... It's not based off like unit size, just based off of like wins. Exactly, bro. Percentages. That's actually the talking point to the competition. But, yeah, and they're all just good ass. But the guys I bet the higher units definitely get treated a little better.

No. Why don't you come sit with Roan? Why don't you come sit next to him for a little bit? These chicken tendies are extra fresh. Yeah. It is just like buffets of stadium food and like watching football. Sounds awesome. Yeah. You gotta talk to people, though. That's the only thing. I football. Sounds awesome. Yeah. You got to talk to people though.

That's the only thing. I'm not doing that. Yeah. I feel like that's the kind of sticking point. We keep on being like, Sass should come. And they're like, you know that he has to have conversations with strangers.

Are they actually saying that? Prolonged periods of time. They're probably saying that. Who's saying that? Give me names. Jay Snowden, bro. The CEO of Penn. The CEO of Penn was like, we want, we want hey listen we want sass there i actually what does sass want to be there i talked to him the other day

snowden yeah he dm'd me on twitter no he didn't yeah what was he saying he said respect the hell out of you love what you're working on i like the amazon video yeah the amazon video just came across his facebook timeline it resurfaced in a Facebook group yeah I said you know what I said barstool we get messy we fuck around we're kind of

fuck I'm trying to think of what he said in that speech we dick around we're fuckboys no he was like disruptive yeah we're disruptive yeah yeah disruptive was the big one I didn't even see

what speech was this What speech was this? Disruptive. What speech was this? But clearly you're not a real stoolie if you've never seen this speech. I didn't see the speech. This is when Penn bought Barstool. And he. I didn't.

You didn't watch the stool scenes? No, I never saw the speech. I just guessed the word. You did? I have no idea what you're talking about. What? I watched this on the fucking projector. I watched it when I got hired at Barstool.

And I was like, fuck yeah. I was like, we are disruptive, aren't we? Maybe girls should be able to go on guys' trips. We're disruptive in the fucking scene, dude. Yeah, you predicted the gluck luck before it even happened. That's fucking... Yeah, I never saw it. i don't know i can't

believe that you were fucking chest painted up like a fucking like a viva sweatshirt on yeah i mean i didn't know anything about barstool when i got hired so i watched a video so i read sharks have feelings too now i understand i remember watching it's a good video i watched and i was like this is fucking awesome it was it's a good video. I watched and I was like, this is fucking awesome. It was, it's a good video. It's cool. It's like an army recruiting video. Yeah,

it is. I think it was like the proud, the barstool. It was like the video on the YouTube. It was just like Dave and K Marco walking through fire like a Marines recruitment video. It was like Dave

fighting a dragon. All wearing like suits, doing like business meet, like going like on TV and shit. With high powered Japanese businessmen? Yeah, and I was like, this is sick. Dude, did you see that there's a movie coming out with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon

about Phil Knight and the making of the Air... Maybe Air Jordans? I don't think I've seen that now. I think it's coming out in the next couple months. Did that movie get nominated for Best Picture? Which one? RRR? No. RRR? RRR. RRR? No. RRR? RRR.

R? R? No, I don't think it did. Yeah, I don't think it did either. What got nominated? I saw Avatar 2 didn't get nominated. Why the fuck would Avatar 2 get nominated?

Because it was like the most anticipated movie maybe of all time. I didn't know that they gave awards based on anticipation. Isn't that like kind of like buy? Like you buy in? What do you mean?

Like you pay, you have to pay to get nominated, right? It's like the Forbes list. Yeah. How you can just... It's pay to play. It's payola. I think it's pay to play.

Yeah. You just have to give them a certain amount of little kid's blood. Whoever has the best harvest of little kid's blood. This is clean. Where'd you get this? Yes. This is a 13? This will last us a century. Oh my God.

Yeah, they were fed nothing but grass. You going to bet on the Oscars? Bet on them? Yeah. Once I watch everything, I will. I'm trying to watch everything this year. Do you actually usually bet on it? No.

Is that a thing? I'll make my predictions though I've made my predictions for Grammys and Oscars before But you made like a list Let me see I want to see what the nominations were Tar Did you see Tar's

I don't think I've seen any of them I'll watch all of them though Shout out Lights Camera Barstool Great Pod Oh did they post a graphic? Oh yeah They got all the graphics shout out to those guys

tar's crack i think that uh kate blanchett's gonna win for best actress for tar what got the most nominations oh wow everything everywhere all at once i heard that movie was super good yeah that was awesome i heard all quiet on the western front was super good. Yeah, that was awesome. I heard All Quiet on the Western Front was super good, too. I have not seen The Banshees. Elvis. No, thanks. Did you watch Elvis? Did you watch Banshees?

No, I haven't seen any of these. Bro, let's not even talk about this, dude. The Fablemans, Top Gun. I haven't seen any of these. Yeah, I was trying to watch The Fablemans. I don't really fuck with Elvisvis like that much though as a person no just as a musician i'm sure he was a good guy except for the fact that he got johnny cash hooked on drugs ruined his life but seems like a cool guy for sure pressy did that that's

what happens in the movie they're like hey johnny take these pills el Elvis takes them. And he's like, all right. A-wop-bop-a-doo-bop-a-doo-bang-bang. Didn't Elvis also not write, like, any of his music? Yeah, he just sang, like, old blues songs. Blue Moon. He just covered other people's songs. Yeah. And why do we respect him? I mean, I know I respect the hell out of him.

I don't know about you guys. I don't. I'll tell you why. He stole a black of him. I don't know about you guys. I don't. I'll tell you why. He stole a black art form. He did. Bastardized it. I think I've heard like three Elvis songs. I do remember when you died, though.

No, you don't. Yeah, I do. No, you don't. Tried my eyes out. Bro, you weren't close to a nut at that point. When did he die? 2005? No, what was it?

Like the 1800s or some shit? Yeah, it was the late 1800s. You know Elvis was a king. You know Elvis was a British king before he was a fucking royal. He was the original king. Do you remember when MJ died? He had a good ass voice. When did Elvis die?

It was like the 1990s. Guess when it was. 1976. Wow. 1977. Was that? Why am I nice like that, bro? How old were you then?

I was just getting my start in comedy. I was just watching Battle Rap. I was just watching Scri in comedy. I was just watching Scribble Jam at that point. What the hell is this? Ma, turn on the radio. There's this new thing called Battle Rap.

It's got the kids going crazy. They're battle rapping in the streets. Goddamn. It's a good riff. it's a hell of a riff Orson Welles was in the first battle rap bro

it was sick the first battle rap I ever saw was when Eminem did that battle rap to that guy in 8 Mile did you see that that's what the

look at your shoes they're growing roots the Eagles coach showed his team 8 Mile before the playoff game. That's an amazing idea. I would have done the same thing. It is a good idea.

I would do that or I would show them the final fight scene in The Fighter. I don't think I've seen that. It's amazing. What's The Fighter? It's with Christian Bale and Marky Mark. Oh, is it about Mickey... Mickey Ward? Mickey Ward.

Yeah. Just imagine if you had tickets tonight. I would have showed them that, and then I would have also showed them the last scene of The Dark Knight. I'm not the hero this city needs. Or I'm not... Wait, what is it?

Like, he's the hero this city needs, but not... The hero this city deserves, not or the city the hero this city deserves but not the one it needs right now and then he rides off on his put the fucking music behind it i would have i would have showed them that dude that's a that's a good coach you got a good coach over there you just basically did the george bush like fool me once fool me fool me once shame on me can't get shamed again yeah that's a good one i'm not the city the hero deserves i'm not the hero that the city deserves well i don't think he said it i don't think batman said it i think

what's his name commissioner gordon yeah commissioner gordon yeah i would have shown them the end of that scene commissioner gordon bombay from mighty ducks you ever seen mighty ducks of course i've seen mighty Dude, it's a fucking classic. Yeah, it came out in the late 70s. Did it really? It was like the last thing Elvis saw before he died. That movie's great. When they make the V.

Yeah. Elvis fucking. So unrealistic. Elvis was on a fucking full ounce of heroin and fucking watching Mighty Ducks on the toilet trying to fucking eat a ham sandwich. He's like fucking Goldberg. Who's buzzing your ass right now? The fucking feds.

Oh, they told me to tell you you're a bitch, dude. God damn it. And I respect them. A-wop-bop-a-do-bop-a-doom-bang-bang. A-wop-a-dop-a-do-ba-da-da-ba-da. We play hell. We play faster if we could. Have you seen Elvis or no?

No, dude. That's from the Johnny Cash movie. It's all the same to me, bro. I like your sound. Hell, we'd play faster if we could. All movies about musicians are the exact same. I've never seen the Elvis one, but the Johnny Cash one. It's the same as the Johnny Cash one.

Have you seen the parody? I still haven't seen the parody, and I really want to. Dewey Cox? Yeah. Yeah, it's hilarious. Because it lampoons how they're all the same. Yeah. Have you seen the parody? I still haven't seen the parody, and I really want to. Dewey Cox? Yeah. Yeah, it's hilarious. Because it lampoons how they're all the same. Yeah. As many parodies do.

I thought that was directly a parody on... But I think it had a couple tropes from some other biopics. Have you seen the Tim Robinson sketch about the... What is the Johnny Cash movie called? Walk the Line? Walk the Line. Have you seen the the john the tim robinson sketch about that no oh dude it's so fucking funny tell me in detail walk it

through me scene by scene well it's just the scene where they're like where they're showing so there's a scene in walk the line where like they're they have like a meeting with a recording studio or a recording label and uh a And, uh, and he's like playing their song and it's like super slow and the guy's like clearly not interested. And then they speed it up and he's like, Oh, I like this. And like, it's basically, they just make us, Oh, he like adds the second verse to it and shit like that. I do remember that. Yeah. That is hilarious. Yeah. He's a psycho. He's hilarious. He's a good-ass actor. Yeah, he's a great actor. Yeah, I can't believe it.

I can't believe how good of an actor he wound up being. We should get him on the pod. You think he would? No. We should get Louis C.K. on the pod, bro. That would be great. We should see if Louis will come on. Want me to ask?

What should the pitch be? Yo, Louis. My boy's a 21-year-old stand-up comedian, and I'm a big fan of the art form. Maybe you can come on our pod. Come on the pod sometime. We love to talk comedy and kind of like how you come up with shit. So what's your writing process like?

You think that's a good pitch to him? You think CK would fuck with that? No. He's just out here on pods telling timeless truths. Dude, his episode of on Theo's podcast was amazing. He probably was just

telling timeless truths the entire time. Yeah. He actually like talks about his comedy career in it which was cool. You know he sold out MSG again.

Doesn't surprise me. No. He's live streaming a special I think from there. Why do you have any thoughts on Louis C.K. No I'm definitely gonna

watch the special. Yeah exactly. Support the support the artist directly to the artist's website that's how it fucking should be bro yeah I heard for MSG though you gotta pay a million dollars just to rent it out million dollars up front and then it's just the residual you can make on top of that

yeah it's fucking crazy it's a fucking racket doing MSG, dude. That's why I'll never do it. I'm saving up right now to do it. Saving up to do MSG. Actually, hit our... Hit our GoFundMe. We're going to do a live pod from MSG.

We're currently at $20. That's crazy, dude. You could just rent out MSG if you have a million dollars. I think you could put on a show if you had a million. at 20 bucks. That's crazy, dude. So like, you could just rent out MSG if you have a million dollars. I think you could put on a show if you had a milli. Then just no one's there. People probably,

you could probably, it's probably hard to do a show at MSG without like a thousand people coming. So people would just come see anything? What's playing at MSG tonight? Yeah. Like it's the local movie theater? Oh, comedian, let's go.

Let's just drop into MSG.g yeah let's see who's there yeah i don't know are they picky about who they book i would assume so or will they just book anybody i would assume they don't just i mean they have stuff they're like every night i assume they're not just like we're gonna have aiden ross tonight just like standing there rich. Yeah. Like the dude Kai Sinat just like giving MSG like stacks of cash so he could just sit and stream on stage.

Dave's supposed to do MSG. Eventually. Remember? Well, he said that to us. Yeah. He's like, I could sell out MSG easily. It's like, dude, like five comedians have ever sold on MSG.

Or it's like 10 or nine. I think it's nine. Yeah. And Dave was like, I could sell that out. problem pop punk could sell out msg they probably could it's only 15 000 seats that's it oh i thought it was more than that is it more it might be more 20 it probably depends on what's there for like a comp for like a comedy show it's probably different if it's like 20 20 000 yeah but that's a nicks game like the or like they'll like rope off like half of it off parts of it yeah pretty sure as i was at casey musgraves about a year ago about a year ago yeah i remember that

shit yeah good time probably remember it like it was fucking yesterday it's uh laser man i hope you guys have a fucking blast in Phoenix. Dude, it's going to be sick. Why don't you come out with us? It's going to be fun. No, no, no. It's all good. Dude, it's my boy Mike's birthday yesterday.

My boy is Mike's birthday tomorrow. Really? Yeah. It's your birthday. Oh, Mike's coming up this weekend to watch the birds. Mike is? Yeah. He's going to have the beer for Papa.

Mike Wallace? Yeah. And you guys aren't going to be here? I'm not going to be, no. Damn. I'll see him. Oh, I'll see him. All right. Mike Wallace yeah and you guys aren't gonna be here I'm not gonna be no damn I'll see him oh I'll see him alright

actually I'm supposed to play pool with him because he said he would beat me not a chance on the 25th is his birthday so happy birthday Mike and on the 23rd

is Mike another Mike's birthday so happy birthday to Mike it's a good day to be a Mike no it's a great day to be a Mike great month to be a Mike that's for sure what a stretch

what a stretch for the Mike Mike's having a birthday party I think it might be Guy Fieri things everybody's gonna be Guy Fieri all right all right you got to get in there like that you

got to get in there it's this new theme that everyone's coming up with I might just show up as fucking Bourdain throw a wrench in it all right well where are we at for time you're

trying to end this podcast bro yeah I thought we were just kind of getting started kind of a little bit of a headache and I think it's because I haven't taken my Zoloft in All right. Well, where are we at for time? You're trying to end this podcast, bro? Yeah. I thought we were just kind of getting started. I have a little bit of a headache and I think it's because I haven't taken my Zoloft in four days. So why not? I don't know. Maybe it's also these six lights that are shining directly in my face.

No, it can't be that. That can't be what's making you feel terrible about yourself. I feel great about myself. But if you think I should feel terrible about myself, maybe will see this is turn off the lights you ever see that trump clip uh yes i have yeah that's basically happening to us right now now do you feel like you have another you know 10 or 20 seconds in you after that got thinned down a little bit i do it does feel better on my brain my brain instantly feels better from that you ever like turn down your screen brightness on your feels so good instantly the headache goes away yeah

there'll be like a tension in your head and you turn down and all of a sudden it's just gone yeah it's like scratching a fucking inch bro i know it's like scratching an inch i've been sleeping with a mask on me too for real yeah like one of the ones over your mouth and nose yeah you never know if the mice have covet now they crawl into your room they're all over your feet they can't get into my room and they have covet i'm talking about me bro oh you don't have mice yeah i'm trying fucking don't fib yourself i'm a common man my tv's off center i have mice d Dave's definitely just planting mice. Fucking hundred inches off centered. Someone's going to fucking die. They've definitely just got that TV off center in a different room.

That's not his living room. So he had something to complain about. Yeah. Just as a true common man. Well, he is a common man. Look, dude, if you're a hundred inches is off centered, you have a reason to be pissed. And someone should lose their job. Well, if he's only getting a 100-incher, he's trapped in 2017.

Something's not going right. Seriously. He's broke. It's a projector. Get a projector. Get a fucking projector. Yeah. Home theater.

Get a wall TV. Yeah. Get six TVs connected to each other. All right. Great episode. Great episode. Where are we at, actually? 55.

Oh, fuck. What the hell? Oh, we could do long ad reads the hell oh we could do long ad reads yeah we'll do long ad reads alright well see you guys next week cheers

cheers