Son of a Boy Dad - Sledgehammer or Bust | Son of a Boy Dad #296 ft. Nick Murphy

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

Sledgehammer or Bust | Son of a Boy Dad #296 ft. Nick Murphy -- Nick Murphy returns to join Harry and Francis for a chat -- #Ad: Go to https://TempoMeals.com/BOYDAD for 60% off your first box! -- #Ad: Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com. Promo Code [BOYDAD] -- #Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase -- #Ad: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 18+ (21+ in certain states) to open, own, or access an advance deposit wagering account and resident of state where DK Horse is available. Eligibility restrictions apply. Void where prohibited. Opt-in req. Min. $5 wager. Only the first straight single horse win wager on the Kentucky Derby placed after opt-in is eligible. Wager must win to qualify for an equal share of $1,000,000. Reward issued in cash within 7 days of race completion via a click to claim, which expires 30 days (720 hours) after receipt. Unclaimed rewards will be forfeited. Ends at the closing of the final wagering pool for the Kentucky Derby on 5/3/25. Terms: www.dkhorse.com/bet/offers/details. Sponsored by DK Horse. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Alrighty, welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast. Today it's April 28th. It is two 22 gambling problem. Call one 800 gambler 18 and over 21 and over in certain States to open owner access and advanced deposit wagering account and resident of state where DK horse is available eligibility restrictions apply void were prohibited opt in and place a five dollar plus straight win bet on the derby first eligible bet only must win to share one

million dollars cash reward via click to claim expires in 30 days ends may 3rd see terms at dkhorse.com bet offers details 2 p.m we are here joined by friend of the podcast, Nick Murphy. Hello. Hello. Our most frequent guest. Is that true? Absolutely. Probably, yeah.

We don't have a ton of reoccurring guests in general. Well, sorry to the fans. I apologize. Keep popping up, sleeping in the office. That's what it takes. You got to stake it out outside until these guys get here. It would it's it's yeah Well, we're happy you're here. I mean, thank you. Ron's gone still Congratulations, dude's really milking the whole twins thing. Okay, we can talk about that

Is the secret oh, yeah. Yeah secrets out secrets out shout out to ron man. Yeah, he's not he's not back yet. All right Can we just say really quickly, because I did start to see some commentary, people being like, you're telling me Rhone can't just go do one and a half hours of work a week?

The answer is no. Okay? Let me tell you something. He just had children for the first time. He's got two of them, okay? It is absolutely fine for a new father to take paternity leave. Is this people, were people actually saying stuff?

Yeah. That's crazy. I feel like you guys have those kind of fans though. They're just gonna poke the bear. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I guess I'm not surprised by that. But anyway, there can't be too many people actually giving Roan a hard time.

He had twins like less than two weeks ago, I think. Right, that's what I'm saying. Like let's let Roan have this moment with his beautiful family. He does a lot and it's perfectly fine. It's also not just an hour and a half because if he comes in here, it's gonna be, everyone's gonna wanna slice.

Yeah, exactly. Well, not only that, you're gonna show up 45 minutes late, so he'll be sitting here 20 minutes. 45 minutes? I think I was about five minutes late today. Feels like an argument from another time. It's coming out now. And also, let's be fair to the fans,

Rhone could get his shit together again. He could, he could, But he doesn't have to. That's the point. He shouldn't have to. True. That's the whole point is that you have the choice. You have the choice. And you can't plan for twins either.

I mean like after they tell you obviously, but when you're first, you know. Oh yeah. That's gotta be a big bombshell. It's not on him. Yeah. That you're having two now. Yeah. It's double the effort.

Crazy. Yeah. Probably pretty easy though if you've already prepped. Uh huh. Like if you've already got like the crib and you just go on Amazon just buy again order again Just buy everything. Yeah, are they the same gender? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, two bros boys boys Were they identical they are no. No, they're fraternal. Yeah interesting Wow, because apparently they can tell if they're identical before yeah Yeah, they can tell all kinds of shit like they can tell if you're identical before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. They can tell all kinds of shit.

Like they can tell if you have like Down syndrome before. Yeah. Is that the fraternal part? One of them has and one of them... One of them is up and one of them's down. I don't know. I just know that like before you have kids, they can tell.

One is like right side up in the woods and the other one is upside down. That's gonna be a problem right there. Oh boy, that's the down. That's the down. Can I pay you a compliment real quick, Francis? Oh my gosh. I don't mean for a glazed vest here, but I've been waiting months to say this to you.

You posted it back in January, but my favorite video of yours, you got a lot of great vids, but it's the ski lift where you're offering a poll and then pulling it. It's the way you say, yeah, right. It is unironically my favorite video. To the point where I clip to the back end out, I send it to my friends all the time as a reaction to what they're asking me. So they'll go like, hey, we're still good for lunch.

And I'll just send them, yeah, right. Yeah, right. It's so good. Your delivery is perfect. That's kind. Yeah. I appreciate that. Of course. That's really nice.

You've memed me. You've made a meme of me. Yes, but it's in the most positive way. Oh, I don't want you to take offense. I'm honored. No, I would never. Nick and I had a wonderful bonding weekend together in Washington, DC. I heard. Thank you to take offense. I'm honored, no, I would never. Nick and I had a wonderful bonding weekend together in Washington, D.C.

I heard, I heard. Thank you for the spots. We bonded the weekend after that, I believe. Thank you for the spots as well. He came to, with you where? Atlanta. Oh, got it. I came to him.

But this one, I just happened to be in D.C. He was in D.C. And you very kindly offered some spots, yeah. Comedy Bar, is that what it's called? No, Comedy Locked. Comedy Locked. Yeah. Are you going to do that?

How do you not remember the club that you performed at, like three weeks ago? Is that what it's called? No, Comedy Loft. Comedy Loft. Yeah. Are you going to do that? Do you not remember the club that you performed at like three weeks ago? You know what? We'll edit and redo it. That wasn't three weeks ago, that was January. Yeah, true, it was wild. But more importantly- Everything's three weeks ago

until we hit six months into the year. And then it starts going, you remember earlier in the year? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember when Ron had twins 10 years ago? That was six weeks ago. That was crazy. Are his kids in high school yet? He still hasn't been back.

They're in high school, he hasn't come back to the office yet. No, but what I was going to say is that comedy clubs that are comedy something, I have a very hard time remembering, comedy studio, comedy connection, comedy bar, there is a comedy lost. They're all named for the similar. I know, all of those places.

Comedy zone. Right, in Charlotte, right lost. I know, all of those places. Coyote Zone. Right, in Charlotte, right? I believe so, yeah. Where people keep telling us we need to go. They say it's great. It's really good, yeah. You done? I haven't done it, but I've been to a show

that's really nice. I conflate all those clubs for some reason, because there are a few comedy connections, there are a few comedy lofts. We have a punch line that's not affiliated with the other punch lines in Atlanta. It's so funny. It's not part of the chain. I tell everybody that.

That's like one of my favorite things is that you go there and you're like, yeah, I'm doing the punch line in Atlanta. Oh, like, no, it's just a punch line. It's just called punch line. It's just called that. Yeah. Good club though, fun club. We need to get a comedy mothership.

Oh yeah. That's not affiliated. Yeah. I'm gonna open up a mothership. Oh yeah. That's not a feeling. I'm going to open a mothership in New York. Yeah. But there's going to be a space between mother and ship. And it's just going to be called mothership. Lose the the.

Like social network. Justin Timberlake told me that it's too wordy. Drop the. And then Harry said something that I'll never forget. Doesn't Eduardo say that right before the memory? He's such a movie. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, he does. Yeah. Yeah. But just as a button to the thing, I did some spots at Zany's in Nashville and I was staying with a buddy of mine who's a super fan of both of you and Rodney. Oh, wow. Shout out to Griffin. Good buddy of mine. Shout out Griffin.

And we were talking about, I was like, yeah, I'm texting him, seeing if we can do the podcast again. And he was like, you have Harry's phone number? And Francis. And I was like, yeah, you won't see. And as soon as he looks, I pull the phone and go, yeah, right, bro. Yeah, right. That's great.

That's great. I appreciate that. I love it. I love it. So Nick and I, we did the shows. That's great. That's great. I appreciate that. I love it. I love it. Well, so Nick and I, we did the shows. Oh yeah. And they were great shows. They were really good.

We had a good time. And then I think it was after the last show on Saturday, because the shows had gone so well, I did something out of character, which I haven't done in years, and decided we should go out. We did a little go. Very fun. Very fun. Well, you had a good crew out there, too. Yep. Fights. Brandon was there. Fights didn't go out.

Maybe for a sec? No, I don't know. Well, maybe he did. But his family was there, I think. Right? So that was why his sister or something like that. Anyway. Barrera? Brandon was there. so we all went out to a bar and we kind of brought people from the club came and we went to the bar and this was right after Surviving Barstool had aired and I was just sitting at the bar getting a drink or whatever and a lot of people were coming up

and saying, hey, we were at the show. The show was great. It was nice. Thank you, thank you. And then Tyler, this needs to, that needs to come out of both the video and the audio. I'm so sorry. Owen, it is imperative.

I'm so sorry. Oh my God. It is absolutely imperative. I'm kicked off the pot. No, you're fine. It's over. Son of a Boy Dad is brought to you by Aura Frames. Aura Frames are a digital picture frame that can feature all of your amazing photos. Uploaded straight from your phone.

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Francis? So, Nick and I went out after the show and I was bothered by this girl who was insisting that I tell her whether I liked Mubi or Smelly better. These two girls that we work with who are TikTok stars. And I told her I didn't really have a preference. I liked them both. And then she started filming me with her and was like, Mubi or Smelly, Mubi or Smelly. And then I was like, I don't really feel like answering that.

Please don't film me. And she goes, what's your fucking problem? And that's when I said, I'm leaving. And I decided to leave. And that will be the last time that I ever go out after a show. Interesting. But then I went up to her and I was like,

he's a smelly guy, it's smelly. Yeah, he's smelly. He's afraid to admit it because most people pick Mubi. Yeah. Probably. I don't wanna go against the crowd, but. I don't even know if that's true. Gun to my head.

Gun to my head. That sucks, dude. Just filming people for dumb shit like that. It just was too much, man. And I think I'm just. I'm not a big video guy. I don't like that either. I don't like when people come up to you

and they're like recording you and you're like, what the fuck? I had a lady doing it to me in the crowd one time. Yeah. I ended up making a clip out of it. Oh, really? Based on how I interact with it. That's great. the crowd one time. I ended up making a clip out of it. Oh really? Based on our interaction. That's great.

Yeah, she literally goes like, well, she's like, are you on TikTok? I'm on stage. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, of course I'm on TikTok. She's like, well, you just drop your TikTok and then I'll post it and then I'll tag you. So then my line at the time was like,

yeah, I can't wait to see this on your account with seven followers. And then we get this back where like, am I working for you? Is that what's happening right now? And then I ended up, and then I think the last line was like, I said a lot of stuff about Jewish people, please delete everything. Yeah.

It's still on my Instagram, but it's like the fact that someone would think to even do that. I've had times where I've been on stage. It's a live show, maybe. I've been on stage and I remember I've like, you know when you can sort of see when someone's taking a photo?

Yeah. But then they keep it for a little too long and you're like, I think this person's fucking my set. I'll ask on stage and I remember I've like, you know when you can sort of see when someone's taking a photo? Yeah. But then they keep it for a little too long and you're like, I think this person's filming my set. I'll ask from stage. Oh really? I'm like, are you filming or taking a photo? I've asked a couple times and every time it's been no and then I stopped asking

because I was like, I don't think anyone's filming me. But I used to get very worried that like people were secretly filming. Dude. I went to, when I went to Sebastian Maniscalco at MSG in September. Shout out game time. Shout out in September. Shout out Game Time. Shout out Game Time.

There was a girl sitting directly in front of me. She filmed his entire hour and uploaded the entire hour on Snapchat. That's what happened to Louis, but on YouTube. Oh yeah. YouTube makes more sense. This was, she was uploading stories, just not just film until she hits the max on how much time she's allowed to film. You mentioned the guy trying to watch all that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Going through.

Surely it's going to come back around to her and she won't be wearing any shirt. Yeah. Middle of MSG. The idea that one of her snap friends is also a Maniscalco super fan. Oh yeah. And he's like, God, I wonder what he's going to close with. I can't wait. We're three jump skips in. Yeah. Sebastian.

It was insane, but people do that. That's where you totally understand why they use Yonder Packs. The bags, yeah. Of course. She didn't laugh once. Just like, it was like she was sent there by like, the New York Post or something. I don't even get it at concerts.

If you have 50 stories at a Taylor Swift concert, what are you doing? Who's watching all that? It's just noise to the viewer. Yeah, it doesn't sound like anything. Yeah, stage starts out, it's all blurry and shit. Of course. Someone's screaming in the background. They're all screaming. We're not getting the same perspective here. No, no, not at all. It's all blurry and shit. Of course someone's screaming in the background. They're all screaming

Yeah, we're not getting the same perspective. No, no, not at all It's like when you take a photo of the moon and you show it to someone sure You're like look out look check out this photo and they're like that looks like a dot on your screen. Yeah Yeah, you should have seen it. It was beautiful You're gonna need to throw something in a reference I need a skyscraper or maybe your penis. Right now I'm just looking at a white dot on a black screen. This was not on a telescope, is that correct?

With the strength of the zoom on cameras these days, for all I know, you're on a spaceship heading there. Yeah. And it's quite close. So anyway, oh, I have one other funny story. Do tell. I was at a dinner last week with a bunch of people. Yeah.

And I was seated next to a guy that I didn't know. But maybe he looked kind of familiar. I don't know. A friendly face. He was a friend of a friend. Yeah, yeah. And we sit down. We start talking.

And he goes, you know, I know you from somewhere. And I was like, oh, I'm a comedian. You know, I put stuff on the internet. He goes, no, no, it's not that. And then I was like, well, that sucks. Yeah. Because now I've said, you probably know me from this and he didn't.

No, I don't laugh much. You're the guy that wouldn't say movie or smelly on TikTok. I've seen your video. It blew up. And he bailed. We tried to figure out if it was through a mutual connection and it wasn't. So then I went back and I was like, do you have TikTok?

He's like, I don't really post, but I watch it a lot. I'm like, I made a video recently of me eating a lobster. He's like, I don't really post, but I watch it a lot. I'm like, I made a video recently of me eating a lobster. He's like, no, no, it's not. I don't, I would remember that. It's like he's fucking with you. And I'm like, God damn it, dude. This sucks. Cause I'm, I'm genuinely trying to help. And when someone says, where do I know you from? It's 99% of the time it's because they've seen some dumb thing that I did. Yeah, I usually just say, now, do I know you from somewhere?

You sure don't, pal. No. That's what I do. I think that's a funnier response. Yeah. You're being polite and trying to help him figure it out. Yeah. But I think it's easier to.

He's playing humble, though, because we were in a car together. No, not true at all. We were taking a, we were sharing an Uber. I don't even remember where we were co-headlining. And the Uber driver picked us up and he told her that we were comedians, which I would never do. Yeah, we were probably going to the comedy club

and she was probably like, who are you going to see? We are the show, man. Remember that you're driving it. Where was that? I like, I like thinking, take a look in the rear view. Where were we going? I have no idea. That happens all the time. I don't tell drivers that I'm a, I pull, I don't speak. You were taught, you were leading the charge for us. If I was leading the charge, it must've been an insanely annoying Uber driver. For the comedians? Pick up for the comedians? Yeah.

I just have Harry? Yeah, yeah, the comedians. You ever had a comedian in the back? I pick a bar near the club because I don't even want to be asked. Really? Yeah. That's crazy.

Especially if I'm going to like Mothership. Oh yeah. And listen, I'm not the guy there. I'm not the guy. I'm a guy. You'll throw the Vulcan in. But people love, no, no, I'll go to the Jekyllope. It's called the Jekyllope.

It's a rabbit with antlers, I don't know who the fuck it is. But it's like a block away. If you're in any other, if you're in cities that aren't big, like if you're not in New York or a big populated city, anytime you're Ubering to a comedy show, they ask questions about it. That's what I'm saying.

So if they see you going to a popular club, yeah. Oh, so you comedian. Yeah Do you know Joe Rogan? Do you know? Yeah, yeah But I just don't want to deal with all that so yeah now it's annoying so wait Did you ever figure it out? Did he ever fight figure the thing or did you just keep saying? No, it's not it We never figured it out. That's hilarious. We never figured it out. Never got to what it is. But we had a nice conversation. He was a nice guy. He works for very high end fashion brand, very high end. And- What brand? Chanel.

Familiar. You know it? Oh, yeah. Their handbags are preposterously expensive. They are. Very expensive. How much are they? Like 20,000 bucks? Well, I'm sure you could get one for that. I think the ones that are more commonly seen, probably five to 8,000. Makes sense. It's still insane. I know, right? For a bag. Yeah, but it is the one brand, I think that a lot of those major fashion houses are cyclical, so they'll rise in popularity for a year

and then fade, and a lot of it apparently has to do with whoever their creative director is, and because people who care about fashion get behind. So like Pharrell was, when he became the in-house fashion director at Gucci or Prada or whatever, that gave them a lift for that summer. But- Yeah, I remember when Gucci was huge.

And yeah, but right, I mean, right. We think Gucci's always huge. Yeah, yeah. But like it comes and goes as far as being like, they're so hot right now, Yeah gotta have everything they're making What is huge for one of these companies like they have like 30 people consistently buying their shit? That's what I'm that's It's way more than you think because Asia is big now really on buying those things yeah interesting interesting I've never been to a...

Chinese people go nuts for it. For Chanel? All the major fashion brands, because they go to, I don't know what it is, when you travel around the world, those brands can decrease in price by like 20% as a result of import taxes, and now I can't even imagine what it is.

I was just gonna bring that up. Yeah, I wanted to think it's being affected by all the rifts. The rifts, yeah. The rifting? But like buying a handbag in Paris from a French brand, Hermes or whatever, is significantly cheaper than to buy it in America,

which I think is significantly cheaper than to buy it in Hong Kong or Shanghai or whatever. So it's even more expensive in Asia, is what you're saying. I think so, because if you go to Fifth Avenue and you walk into any of those shops, everyone in there, they're filling up trash bags for home. Yeah. Hashtag Asian humor.

Right. If it's like the authentic product, though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they do a lot of knockoff shit. Yeah, I don't know like knockoff NBA jerseys for like a nickel Yeah, yeah Kids fingerprints are still on the numbers. Yeah, I saw an Instagram He made the number four with his blood that's clearly he was new to the sewing machine with his blood, that's a, yeah. Clearly he was new to the sewing machine. He'll figure it out.

I was telling Francis, I saw a YouTube short the other day of a dude, of an Asian dude with, he had a big plastic bag full of bottles, and he was like at one of those things that like sucks up the bottles and you get paid with it. And he was like putting one in and then taking it out, like holding onto it, not letting it get sucked up, and then putting another one in,

and then the hashtag at the bottom was just hashtag Asian humor. Okay. And I was like, I don't know what that means, but I like it. We're using it. Yeah. Yeah.

For unrelated stuff. Hashtag Asian humor. Hashtag Asian humor. Was it a funny video? No, not at all. That's why I assumed it wasn't hashtag white humor. Yeah, no, not at all. But to your average Asian fella.

They didn't crack a smile, but I sent it to some of my Asian boys. And I was like, you guys are gonna love this. And they send you a million laughing. Cause he's not letting it go. You see, he pulls it and you're like, yeah, yeah, okay. This takes me back to my roots. I went to the gym this morning.

Which one did you go to? Did you? To do development for me. Wow. I've started getting back out morning. Which one did you go to? Did you? Development for me. Wow. I've started getting back out there. How's it going? It's going actually really good. Really?

You were somewhat of an inspiration also when we did spots. No way. Was I? Just you saying I had a great workout this morning and then did the show and I was like, I've been being a piece of shit all day. I need to get back in there. Yeah, that's kind of my thing. Because I used to go all the time when I played a little college ball

and then I just let it go with too many beers. Yeah. I gotta cut back. Shit catches up. What's that? It catches up. Yeah, absolutely. I'm still not in excellent shape

but I've got so much strength back, so I'm trying to. Well all it is is you work out consistently forever and then you take one day off and then you're like, I could just never work out again. Exactly. And then you don't work out. This is something I said to you that night. I said I built up my reserves. Exactly. And then you don't work out. This is something I said to you that night. I said, I built up my, my reserves.

Yeah. Athletic. Yeah. My savings. I got a lot of savings because I was a 10 year ball player. Yeah. And so I'm like, I'm good. Yeah.

And then dude, I posted a couple of real, I posted an old reel and seeing the thumbnail next to me, I was like, we got, we got to fix this. We got to slim out some of that. That's tough. But I leave it up. I'm not Photoshopping, like you ladies. No, no, no. We gotta hit the gym,

we gotta slim that down a little bit. I'm trying, I need to lose fucking 40 pounds. Sure. I might be the weakest I've ever been, like as in my, including when I was a baby. You're not fat, I think 40 40 you'd look a little sick. No, I don't think you should lose weight either. You're certainly looking like Tom Segura.

You see how he looks now? I mean, he looks so good, people think he has like cancer. Oh yeah, he lost a shit ton of weight. So shout out to Tommy, you're doing great things. I think you should- No, I need to put on muscle. Turn whatever stuff you got into some muscle.

Right. But losing 40 is not, that's not the... I need to lose 50, if we're being honest. Okay. 50 pounds. Just in the hospital. Because the thing is, I have no muscle. Zero.

Sure. But I have fat, and a lot of it. But not 50s. You don't have that much fat, dude. Just because you can't see them. You're a little flabby, probably. My tits are touching my belly button as we speak. Take your shirt off.

Show the people what they've been missing all these years. This is why they bring me on. To get these guys, I mean this guy's got it. He looks like Thor over here. No, he'd take his shirt off at any second. He was wishing you asked him that. No I wasn't. Ready to rip that shirt in half.

I would never do such a thing. See, now he's projecting. Shane once told me it's not cool that you have a good body, Francis. I don't think it's anything. I don't think it's cool to have a good body, but definitely feels good. It's weird that you're in shape

and it's not good for your career. It is funny, objectively funnier to be fat, that's true. It's objectively funnier to be fat, but also like you're not, I wouldn't say you're in a shape, you're in normal shape. Just everyone else is in such bad shape that we're like Francis Bill.

I think it's by comparison. We're Francis Bill like a Greek God. Yeah. But no, you, like, I don't think, you're not like Rogan big where it's like, it's gonna start impacting how people look at you. No, and I don't mean that. Yeah. I don't mean that. Like no one's gonna be on set's like, it's gonna start impacting how people look at you. No, and I don't mean that. Yeah. I don't mean that.

Like no one's gonna be on set being like, who's this fucking jacks not? When your arms start popping through a hoodie, that's Rogan. He's been on a couple of shows, his muscles are coming out of the hoodie sleeves. Like a champion hoodie too. And you're like, oh my God, this guy works out.

Yeah. Yeah. If Rogan were wearing your outfit right now. He'd be bursting through it. It would all look right. It would be skin tight. He'd be like, whoa, what was that? Where'd you get that $600 Patriots crew neck? You guys wear an under armor on set. What?

Is that from Chanel? Yeah. I always crack up at the NFL store like now, like if you look at like fanatics or something, because like these sweatshirts, like you can't buy these anymore, like they're all old and they don't make them anymore. And if you go on their website now,

it's like, it'll be like a t-shirt that's like, it's for like, they're all, it's everything is built for like bodybuilders. And you'll go on the, you'll go on like the Patriots like merch website and there'll be like a t-shirt with this like weird futuristic Patriots logo. And then there's just randomly like a hood attached to the shirt for some reason and that's for jackdudes Yeah, wearing the t-shirt with a hood or sleeveless. They'll be sleeveless now sleeveless hoodie is crazy

I can't imagine having a hood if I don't have a sweatshirt on yeah, or a jacket I have a physics question for you guys. Okay, you ever hear about how if a gun gets fired into water, that the bullet slows down immediately? You ever heard about that? I, yeah. When you say immediately, do you mean like? Okay, so this is my question. It still goes, like, it's still traveling,

but it's just a lot slower. Let's say that you were underwater and someone tried to shoot you in a pool like in the movies Yeah, yeah How deep underwater would you have to be in order to be absolutely not at risk of that bullet hurting you is my question Well, how jacked am I my Francis Jacks or my? True that does play an impact it does have a big impact in the decision. How far in the water? Yeah, how deep? It probably depends on the gun too, yeah?

Probably, yeah. If they have armor piercing rounds or if it's just- I don't know the answer to that because- What are we thinking, cop gun? Just a standard block? It has to do with the density of water, I think. By the way, people get on me for not knowing stuff. I don't profess to know things.

If you come to this podcast to be taught things, go fucking kill yourself. We could bring data back. We are a dumb conversational comedy podcast, okay? I don't know shit. I'm a moron, right? There's a reason I make the least amount of money of every single one of my friends. That's because your friends are all billionaires. They're all the most successful people on earth.

I'm the guy who when we go to group dinners, I don't get hit with a Venmo request anymore. They all split it and I'm off the hook. They're treating me. It's like they think I'm gonna die soon. They're splitting this fuel for the way home. On the jet. Yeah. But all of that is to say, what do you think? What is the answer to that? Do you have any idea?

Do you guys know the physics of that? No, I mean, I would assume it depends on the bullet. Like I'd assume it depends on if it's like a sharper bullet or not. I'll let you guys go back to talking about comedy while I look this up. Well, I'm interested to hear the, hear the... Yeah, I kind of want to know the answer.

Isn't that amazing? Yeah. Like if you shot like a nine millimeter into the water, I assume if you were like, I don't know, how deep do you have to be? Are you guys going to put this in the next Barstool Survivors? This is going to be a challenge? That would be awesome. Would you do it if they found the exact, like, you know what you ever see when the physics teacher will do like the thing with the bowling

ball and they'll put it up against your face. Okay. And then let it swing back and then it comes back and it comes like right up to your nose but doesn't hit your nose. Testing your gangster. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But like they can see like you so you know it's not gonna hit you but they're seeing like if you flinch. Of course. And then you're a pussy. Yeah, exactly. And now the whole school. They're like, well it wouldn't have hit you if you didn't fucking move. The whole school, the whole and then you're a pussy. Yeah, exactly Yeah, yeah, but I wonder if like it would you do that with a bullet if they were like if you're below 13 feet under in the water And we shot down it wouldn't kill you unless you went above there my shirtless Oh, you get to keep your shirt on do I get a sleeveless hoodie? Can I have a sleeveless hoodie from the NFL store?

Okay, I got this, guys. What's the answer? Okay, a lot of factors, like you said, to determine whether it's lethal. I think I brought a couple of facts. I brought a couple of facts. You definitely did. But in general, if the bullet is shot

from an angle of 30 degrees, so, you know, whatever. Yeah. Then being underwater in the range of three to five feet can ensure safety from most guns. Whoa. How about that? 30 degrees though, what is that? They're not even shooting it at you?

Wouldn't 30 degrees be like down here? Oh yeah, so it so just go over then? Yeah, just go over you. Cause then they're saying- Or I guess if you're aiming it at the person. Yeah, you're aiming at the person. So like say you're there, you're the kettle bell. Yeah.

And then you just go like this. Yeah. You don't try to catch it. If it's underwater and it's not gonna hurt, you out try to catch it. So it- If it's at a speed that's, I still probably wouldn't,

just, you know, just you have time to do one of these maybe. Yeah. Water is 800% denser than air, which is why- See, that's you, you're your headbutting that bowling ball. That's what you're doing. True. Did it say what kind of bullet has to be used? I guess there are bullets that are being developed that can travel better through water now.

Oh, that's good. Is it? Make sure nothing is escapable. A lot of aquatic attacks recently that they're having to upgrade their shit. Shit, he got in the water. Then we got our fucking water bullets on us. Yeah, but they gotta like change bags. Yeah.

There's a scene- God damn it. Gary, did you have him in your bag? I don't know. He's right here. They're only sending us one mag per police station. Yeah, Yeah. There's a scene. God damn it. Gary, did you have him in your bag? I don't know. He's right here. They're only sending us one mag per police station. Yeah.

There's a scene in the opening scene, Saving Private Ryan that stays with me, which is when they are invading the beaches of Normandy and they get out of those boats, the amphibious kind of delivery boats. Yeah. And the front opens and a bunch of them jump into the water and they show some of the underwater cameras and the bullets are zipping through and some guys are getting hit and I always wondered,

is that scientifically accurate? Yeah, that is interesting. I always wondered that. We just Googled it, those guys are fine. Yeah, well it depends on if the bullet had gone more to three to then three to five feet under the water Yeah, you know, yeah is interesting Anyway, I do wonder those are just things I was thinking about doesn't matter They probably would have googled it like on the way to Normandy

All right guys, we got to figure this out. How do you do it need to be? I'll Google it. I'm not going first. I'll Google it. I'll tell you guys where to jump. One of the most horrifying human experiences, I've watched some interviews with those guys, just the anticipation of the door being dropped. Yeah.

And then one guy was like, they dropped the door and everybody died, except for me and like one other guy. Damn. It's like. Well, that's what seems to have happened, right? Like in fucking Band of Brothers, that's like the beginning,

the whole beginning couple episodes, they're all like it's a group of people and then by the third episode, there's like one dude from the original group, right? But just listening to the bullets and then knowing that they have to drop the door. Oh yeah. I would be such a pussy with that.

You're just shitting yourself. I'd be like, dude, are you out of your mind? No. Can we go like a little left? Can we turn? We can't turn? There's no way you're dropping us off here. I mean, more importantly... Who planned this? Who's the president? Was there any determination of who stood in the front versus row two?

I'm sure it's just three. Draw straws or something. I think that to me, and by the way, that's been the case for so long. I think my guess is that now there's a little bit more of. Oh, yeah. You took the front row yesterday. So you go to the back today. Go to a comedy show. It's like flying in a winged migration formation as a flock of geese.

But in the Civil War, I mean, if you were just standing in the front, you shot. Yeah. Dumbest military attack. And then you're dead. Yeah, you're like, we'll see. Yes. I think for me, I'm 30. If I get that front row, I turn to the guy and I go, hey, I have to go to the bathroom.

Yeah. I'll be right back, but I really need to go. And I'm not going to be of any use. I can't shoot when I have to pee. No. Dude, storming the beaches of Normandy, I would be on the boat. And I would be like, I'm still not done getting ready.

I'd be coming up with like, yeah. I'm still tying my shoes. I'll be like, you guys know I take forever. I'm always late. Yeah, you just show up late yeah yeah I need to tape my shoulder you guys go out I'll see how it looks I gotta tape up I'm in the training I jump out of the boat I roll my ankle in the water I mean come on guys, I need to do some stim Yeah, where's our where's our trainer I need hot tub then cold tub then back to hot tub

On a guy on the beach I'm not done with my leg balloons. Yeah, yeah. Whatever those fucking things. It would be awesome if they were just in those boats pulling up to Normandy and they've got those big ass winter jackets the quarterbacks wear, like Patrick Mahomes has on. He's got his hands in the warmers.

Yeah. I can't shoot if my hands are cold. And they're up in the sleeve. All right, we're going left. Okay, tell me this. I got another question speaking of this. When quarterbacks are warming up along the sidelines, they often have that guy when they're throwing, the guy throwing balls to him, stands next to them who catches it and hands it to

them. Perfect job. Is that because those are receivers who are warming up their hands? Or are those guys protecting the quarterbacks from having to catch the ball themselves so they don't hurt their hands? Yeah, probably so they don't hurt their hand,

so they don't like jam a finger or something. I always thought that was pretty cool. Yeah. Don't suck. I mean, if you think about it, you're like, these are $60 million Paws, right? Of course. Yeah, designated catchers,

I always thought that was pretty cool. And then the last I'll say probably they probably get paid like a perfectly fine Like they probably paid like six figures. Oh, yeah, just chill on the sidelines and have a catch with Patrick Mahomes every day Yeah, actually drop Patrick fucking hates when you guys drop the ball trainer I'll say this Nick Murphy fucking hates when you guys drop the ball. Traitor! I'll say this, Nick Murphy. When, in learning that you played college basketball, that is the most important, excuse me, impressive sport to have played in college.

Thank you. Number one. I'd agree. I would also agree with that. When you find out, oh my God, triple points if you're white. When you find out. It was division three, sorry. Doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.

Sorry. I think, sorry. When you find out that someone has played college basketball, that to me, I don't know man, that's crazy. That's a level of that sport because they only ever, what do they take two recruits a class three I think we had like four or five the team is so small yeah how many players are on a basketball team you don't walk on to a

basketball team roughly 12 to 15 I guess depending on no shit the size it's so small at least 20 teams are so small the I would assume at least 20. Teams are so small. We might have had 20. But again, I think the pens. Yeah, yeah, makes sense. The size of the program. That's still crazy though. Yeah, yeah.

There isn't some guy who, on a basketball team, who just happened to be super good at sumo wrestling. No, no. And they were like, hey, why don't we throw some pads on that guy? Yeah. Next thing you know, he's first team all conference. What was that video of the dude from the Cowboys that was going up against the sumo wrestler and he was getting just bombed?

Oh, I saw that. Who was it? I forget his name, but I saw the video. Yeah, yeah. That video was sick. Have you seen that? No. It's insane.

Do you remember when Brock Lesnar tried to make the Minnesota Vikings practice squad? No. He's starting fights with everyone I just met Brock like three weeks ago. Really? Yeah, this guy is he really nicest guy. Yeah scary, man There's no one I'd want to fight less. He I saw him bounce a guy and I had that exact same thought because uh He was just he was nagging the group. We were with nagging nagging and Brock just goes hey buddy It's time to go and you know, you see even if you don't know who Brock Lesnar is, you see a guy that size say that to you,

you think, hey buddy, it's time to go. This guy had the opposite and just kept with the phone and Brock just one arm just lifted the guy and they just walk out together. Damn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that's crazy. I think that was it. He didn't beat him up or anything, but it's just like.. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that's crazy. I think that was it.

He didn't beat him up or anything, but it's just like. Oh yeah, dude, when those guys are that big, they don't even hurt people, they just lift them. Yeah. They just pick them up and remove them. Yes. I've been hurt by someone like that. From that size?

Well, who was it? It was, do you remember the UFC guy, did you watch The Ultimate Fighter ever? The Ultimate Fighter, no. Did you watch The Ultimate Fighter? A little bit of it, yeah, and I used to be a bigger UFC guy. Who you watch the Ultimate Fighter ever? The Ultimate Fighter now. Did you watch the Ultimate Fighter? A little bit of it, yeah, and I used to be a bigger UFC guy. Who were you thinking of?

Did you ever watch the season that had Kimbo Slice on it? No, I just saw his professional fights, but I didn't watch his Ultimate Fighter episodes. That was also the season that had the guy who became a comedian, Joe Rogan's buddy. Brendan Chobb? Yeah, he was on that season. He made it to the finals and then lost to a guy

who was a pretty experienced UFC guy, I feel like. But anyway, there was a guy on that season, I can't remember his name, Matt Mitrione. That's his name, Matt Mitrione. And I was in Indianapolis doing a club that used to be there. I think it was called fucking, I don't know. I can't remember. It was an old, old club.

This was like seven years ago. And I went and did it. And Matt Mitrione came to one of the shows and afterwards we were hanging out up in the bar and he was showing me how to block leg want you to kick me. And he goes, I won't kick you hard. I'll just show you. Here, I'll just come in and I'll do this

and lift your leg. And dude, he gave me a 10% and I couldn't walk for three days. Just hearing those, watching the fight, you see them take it, but I know, like me and my buddies have been watching, be like, if we got one of those, just like, ah-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Imagine the worst time you've ever walked into a table. Yeah with your thigh right here Yeah, isn't that a call to Charlie horse? Charlie horses. Oh, there's a friend. That's a cramp Yeah, I always thought when you get that bruise like a dead like I always thought that was a Charlie horse If you've ever had a Charlie horse, you'd know what? Oh. Oh, I know. When the muscle balls up, it's like, oh, oh, oh. I used to get those when I was drinking all the time. Yeah, for sure. I'd wake up hungover and I would stretch out my leg.

A little dehydrated probably. Oh, yeah. Curl your toes. If you curl your toes, it'll happen. That's what it would be. Yeah. You ever have those toe curling orgasms? Toe curling orgasms? Yeah, those can really bring on the Charlie horse.

Yeah, Charlie horse, yeah. Yeah, you ever come so hard that your leg cramps? Are you Charlie? Yeah, bring on the old Charlie. Fuck, you're gonna make me Charlie. I always check those, I always check it. Shit, I'm Charlie horse. Chuck horse.

I'm horsing. I check the orgasm. Yeah. I lift my leg, and I'm like, no ma'am, no. I'm not coming yet. Checking the orgasm? Yeah, yeah, you put the leg out like that and it just goes back down your dick.

My ultimate fighter knowledge was obviously McGregor and then the Cody Garbrantz and the TJ Dillashaw, I believe his name. And then this guy, Uriah Faber with the ass chin. Oh, yeah, I liked him. But then the funniest clip was, oh yeah, Uriah Hall almost killed a guy. Well, they coached, that was the season where I think Uriah Faber was coaching in that season, but maybe not.

Uriah Hall in the... He did that spinning kick. He did the spinning kick and just... Just dead. And then the next fight, he broke a guy's face. He broke his face. He was so good. Yeah, but he didn't end up having a very good career for some reason. I know. I know.

UFC's a tough one because it's like, even if you win, you don't really get to... I'm assuming those guys go out and party after, but they're probably just in so much pain. They take a lot of damage. The entire... It's not like you're like an NBA player and you win the finals and you're like, you gotta wait like three weeks to be like,

like celebrate. Yeah. Yeah. You don't need like a media. Yeah. Yeah. What were you gonna say though? You said your experience. Oh, the best clip ever. I mean, there's probably other ones,

but my favorite is who's the fucking Chael Sonnen when he's getting into it with, um, Silva of Anderle Silva. And he goes, I can't let you get close. And he shuns him. It's, that's the best one. He's wearing flip flops. He is so quotable. He's so good.

He's so good on the mic and he got plenty of title fights. I don't think he won. Maybe one. He almost beat Anderson Silva. And then he got like leg locked or something. It was a submission at the very end of the fight, but it was probably other than the one where Anderson Silva got actually knocked out

by just being showboating. Yeah, yeah. It was the best effort against him for sure. But his shit talk is A plus top level. He has so many good quotes. Yeah. He was making many good quotes. Yeah. He was making fun of two Brazilian guys and was talking about how they were trying

to feed a carrot to a bus, because they thought it was a donkey. He was just shitting on Brazilians in jail. But he says it with a straight face. Yeah. Lebatard tried to get him once. He was like, how many more fights do you think you're going to go before

you think you just run out of gas because you haven't really won in a while and then jail goes I don't know Dan how many times are you gonna how much longer you gonna be holding the pen and not write anything down what are we talking about I've never gotten into UFC I had I kind of faded but there was the Connor stuff was, the Conor stuff was fun, the Ronda stuff was fun. What was the really good one recently? Like within the last year? The knock, the one with the crazy knockout

where he was like, he pointed at the, he was like, now, because the fight was about to end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Max Holloway maybe? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's fun. I watched that live. That was fucking sick. Izzy, obviously.

Alex Pereira is great. They're fun fights, but I just like the stars. John Jones, of course. Yeah, John Jones. The stars. That was probably the most I watched was John Jones. I think one of the issues with UFC is that your shelf life typically is almost too short

for you to bask in your stardom long enough for the world to get to know you. It is nice how when things start going against you though, like in UFC, it's not like if you're, like other sports, like go back to basketball, like Mav Celtics last year, like Celtics fucking destroyed the Mavs, right? And then they gotta live through that, that shame.

UFC, you start losing, you get KO'd, it's over. You don't have to experience any of the shame. Oh my god. I couldn't agree less. Really? Well the shame sets in when you wake up and everyone's standing around you telling you what happened. Everyone's standing around you being like, are you okay? I thought you were going to make a totally different, I'm with Francis on this, it's really embarrassing to get knocked out. And then it's like weeks of watching the highlight of coming to terms with the injury you sustained. Let me get the takes from that.

Yeah, it's not, you're not, unless you die, there is- We're not doing this, we're heading this out. You do experience the shame, it's just later. Yeah, I guess waking up and having 70,000 people looking at you. Is it making sense now, Harry? The ref always says, he goes, what happened? You got caught. Some of them are so bad, they try to fight the ref because they don't even know they're out. A lot of them, I've seen that where they don't even know,

there's UFC fighters today that are still convinced that they never got KO. They have protocol to handle the fighter because he's still swinging. Because they fully don't remember they're still swinging his curtsy. Some of them do, they try to knock out Herb Dean. It's like, buddy, you're done, you're out.

It's like you ever see when a dog gets woken up from a dream while they're running, and then they wake up and they just run straight into a wall, it's like that. Just waiting on you. Or they start trying up and they just run straight into a wall. Yeah. It's like that. Just waking up. Yeah. They start trying to bite your leg.

Start fighting the doctors. Again, instead of going home to their nice house to nurse their wounds and drink a beer, they go to the hospital for an MRI. Or more embarrassing to get knocked unconscious on television. True. Yeah, hey, there's...

Speaking of which, one of the biggest threats of that, this is the most tense one I ever watched, was when Francis Ngannou made his run, and then he fought Stipe Miocic the first time. That's the most tense I've been watching a UFC fight. Because if you got flicked by Ngannou at that time, you are unconscious. And it was just Stipe trying not to, just to outlast him.

Yeah. And he did. He was coming like this. He did. He outlasted him because Francis didn't have his cardio up back then. But when Stipe then fought the second time, his knee buckled so bad. He ended up getting knocked up by Cormier too. Yeah.

But that fight was like, can he just survive? Yeah. Because Francis was killing people. too. Yeah, but that fight was like can he just just survive? Yeah, Francis was killing people. Damn Yeah, yeah, that was when Dana made fan Well, I think Francis Ngannou is an interesting character again where like he wasn't discovered until he was like 30 Yeah, he was like a construction. He was working construction in Africa and they were like you're the biggest person alive in Africa and they were like you're the biggest person alive Certainly some historical precedent there see they're going to Africa and going that one anyway Was he just a straight-up construction work in Africa? I thought he was like French or something no I think you well. I'll look it up

He was just straight-up construction worker and someone showed up and was like we got to get you in the ring I guess they're like hey come beat the shit out of this. Oh, what a fucking life that is Yeah, must have been so pumped. I get you like you're gonna do this for five years and then you're gonna be rich forever Yeah, but he I mean clearly was in some sort of mental state where he was able to stay ripped and yeah This is just naturally like yeah, but he's still a happy guy probably working out I saw a video the other day of like of someone cutting cutting weight oh man and and then one of the comments was like Fucking moron. Why don't you just lose the weight beforehand you have so much time to prep hilarious

Hilarious hilariously uneducated. Oh, yeah, and then of course it has like 10,000 likes. Yeah. Everyone's like, dude, I know. It's a fucking idiot. But that's, you'll get those on your podcast. I'm sure about whatever. Someone's going to comment about your, your working out and how they're going to go lose 40 pounds. Yeah. Fucking dumb. Okay. Here. This is interesting. It's going to be me. It's my comment my comment on this episode. Francis Ngannou, he lived in Cameroon until he was 26. Whoa. Dang. And he was like, working in a sand quarry as of 10. Tough job. And...

These guys get swallowed up. Yeah. They do. They fall through the sand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not when you're that size. Francis was the first one to climb back out. He was like Batman, climbed out of the pit. Everyone chanting. Dude, that's like an avalanche times a thousand. But not when you're that size. Francis was the first one to climb back out. Yeah Everyone chanting dude, that's like an avalanche times a thousand. Yeah, it's way harder to get out of yeah Yeah, let's put it this way. There's no st. Bernard on earth That can sniff you out of a collapsing sandpit. Yeah, pretty tough in those other countries

But he moved to Paris when he was 26. France. To pursue professional boxing. Okay. But he was jailed for two months in Spain for illegally crossing the border. He had no money in Paris, no friends, no place to live. He was homeless. You don't even know how to throw that in there.

He had no money or friends, just in case you thought his social life might be doing well. Yeah. You're saying this convicted felon couldn't get his social circle back together? He was living on the streets, he found his way to a boxing club and he met a guy that, you know, they started figuring it out. That's a movie. Yeah, that is. I'm surprised that happened.

Just living on the streets and then walking into a boxing gym. Of course they were probably like, yeah, obviously. Yeah. We'll give you a couple of rounds. Do I have to like scan a barcode or anything? No, dude. Yeah. Obviously not. Yeah. Yeah. I got to get back. I got to get more into the UFC stuff. The only thing I've ever got into UFC like was the the original UFC stuff.

Oh, yeah. Like when there was no way. There was no rules. Yeah. Ken Shamrock. Yeah.. Like when there was no weight limits. When there was no rules. Yeah. Ken Shamrock. Yeah. It would be like a sumo wrestler going up against a boss. I was just talking about a guy with a, in literally like karate outfit with a black belt on.

Yeah, it was Gracie. It was Gracie. I was talking about this with Ari Maddy at Mothership. He used to fight. Yeah. And dude, that was the, the Gracies of course. They were winning it, yeah. The Godfather family of all that shit. But they won, he won like all of them. He just choked everybody out. Yeah. Cause they were like, wait Gracies of course, are like the godfather family of all that shit.

But they won, he won like all of it. He just choked everybody out, because they're like, wait, we're not, what the hell is this guy doing? It was sick, dude. Ken Shamrock was in there ready to steroid people to death. Yeah, it's like doing rock, paper, scissors

where you only know rock and scissors. Yeah. And some guy made paper. And some was like, I have those, but I also have paper. It was, dude, there was, I forget one of them, I forget what it was, but it was like a sumo wrestler versus a kickboxer. And the kickboxer was wearing like jean shorts or something.

Like something insane. Yeah, they didn't have like standard uniforms yet. No, no. A lot of dudes going shirt on. He's like, should I change? No, no, just go in with what you got on. Yeah, yeah. Cause it probably paid like a grand.

What are those, Chanel? Yeah. The craziest one is this guy gets put in what's called the crucifix. Yeah, it's a famous clip It's where you have one of his arms. You're laying across his back Yeah, you have one arm in your legs and you got the other one and then you just have one free Yeah, just 12 to sixes to the guy's temple. He's out by elbow tube He gets like eight more in. I think I've seen I don't know where that guy is now but he's gotta be. He's digging sand in camera.

Digging sand is a tough job. Because there wasn't a Herb Dean either to be like the fight is over. They had like Donald Trump guest refereeing, just bringing in the person who sang the national anthem to fucking rep the fight. Dana watching this guy just get obliterated, like, this is going to go places. This is it, fellas. I think UFC 1 through 6, there was no weight limits at all. So crazy.

I don't know when it changed. You've got to figure out your product. You've got to figure out. product. You got to figure out. Because there has to have been one that was just so absurd that they're like, all right, we need to make some requirements here. I watched something, there was some documentary I watched, it might have been on YouTube, where they talked about those early years. And the first real stars were, the first real star was Tito Ortiz, right? UFC 12. UFC 12.

But then, but Tito was like aito Ortiz, right? UFC 12. UFC 12. But then, but Tito was like a star and then Chuck Liddell came in and started like really hurting people and Tito was more of like a diva star and Chuck beat the shit out of him. But then Chuck started getting knocked out in a way where it was like, when he would get knocked out, he was so unconscious that from that point on, anytime he got flicked, as you said, the same thing would happen. Rashad Evans, that was a bad one. He got flatlined.

And then Rashad was part of the then you got Rampage. Thank you. And then John Jones came in and started. But he was doing those those fucking knee kicks. That's the one thing I never understood why that was legal. There's interviews that Rampage has done where he's like, John Jones just tries to kick your knees backwards. Yeah, right. It's like it's bullshit.

What do they call that? There's a name for that kick. Cheating. It seems, it should be illegal. Well he got... I love John Jones, I think he's great. Isn't his only loss a result of a referee decision that he had cheated?

Yeah, he got disqualified for some other, I think it was one of the elbow things or something like that. But the reverse, I mean you can't fight a guy who's doing that, right? I have no idea. If you're kicking, if he's kicking your knees backwards every time you try to advance. I don't think I'll be able to fight anyone that is in any way moving towards my direction.

Yeah. That'd be your first answer. Kick those knees out. Any sort of force. Yeah. If Sass is on a date with someone and they're about to get mugged, he goes, get in front of me. Oh, I'm definitely a flight guy. I'm not a fighter. When a man passes on a date with someone and they're about to get mugged he goes, get in front of me.

Oh, I'm definitely a flight guy. I'm not a fighter, but I'm going to the gym. I got, I got, I got to be able to defend myself, defend my property. Have you been running into issues with that a lot? No, but it's like, I'm, uh, I just think I'm so like, I think I'm a level of weak that like it's, it's a problem. Like it's a, it's a safety problem. Like I got to a lock it in put on some more muscle. Sure Yeah, have you ever had some like worked out? Yeah. Yeah when I was in when I was going into college through college When I was in high school going into college then through college I worked out by the way

He's talking about a period of I went to college for six months This is this is like in the for real way, he's talking about a period of four months. I went to college for six months. This is like in the 4-year-old version where he calls tits a bag of sand. A bag of sand. I worked out from when I was like 17 to like 21. You know, you do the bench reps, you know? Yeah, yeah. The bench flats, you ever do bench flat pickups?

I will say today was the first day where I went to the gym and I went back after I used to go and I didn't try to like ego lift at all. Like I was like, I'm just gonna do the realistic weights here and let me tell you, Temple doesn't make dumbbells small enough for a guy like me. I mean, my advice- I was doing lat raises with 12.5s.

That's fine. I only really do them with like 15s. I mean, they gotta at least make the 12.5s look a little bigger, you know? Sometimes they make them like pink too. That's so embarrassing. Yeah. They have the yoga ones.

They gender the little guys. Did a woman in the suburbs walk here with these? Did she leave them at the end of her walk? Yeah, yeah, those are tough. Those are for like stay at home moms who do classic. They're good for throwing at dogs that come running at you from someone's yard. I look at you with the pink ones. I'm like, this is to keep people from biting you. This is to keep the attention away. I'll get back up there, though. My bench will improve fast.

I got a lot of mass. I got a lot of mass around my chest. My best will improve. My bench will improve fast. For sure. I got legs tomorrow, which will be a fucking nightmare. If you think chest is not ecolifting, he's talking like fucking I'm not trying to do the weight that I used to be able to do

Quickly I will rapidly advance my chest stages of lifting the problem is the road But I'm not on the road right now. But that's my thing. I got to- The road is where I work out the most consistently. Well, your hotel usually has one, right? There's nothing else to do. I hate those hotel gyms.

What else are you gonna do? You just go to the shitty hotel gym and you go and you fucking run on the treadmill a little. Even if you just get on that, it'll keep you slim. You just push ups and you do some fucking shit. I'm just trying to have days where I have like I'm trying to avoid the days where I just don't do anything like where I don't move dude or to not like yesterday I probably got under 500 steps you want to hear something crazy you got under half five hundred steps on Saturday I

walked 36 holes of golf. Damn. 28,000 steps. Yeah, it's not surprising. That's so much. Bound about a thousand per hole. 36 is so many. Not quite. 0.7, 0.8.

That's in a day? 36 holes in a day, I walked it, yeah. 18's a lot. Yeah. How many miles? It's probably like 14. I was gonna say, because the most I've ever got was like 25,000 and I was on a 14 mile hike.

Wow, yeah, that's pretty good. Were you still on like a master's kick and you wanted to get back out there? Is that why you? What happened was I went with my buddy, we played in the morning and you gotta take a caddy in the morning. So we went with our caddy, we had a great time

and there was nobody out there because it was kind of threatening rain all day, but it was not really raining. So we had a long lunch, I smoked two cigars. Damn. Yep. After all that fuss last week, you smoked two? No, you hooked me. I didn't wanna bring it up.

You smoked three cigars last week. I didn't wanna bring this up. You hooked me. I'm glad Harry brought it up. After all that, you smoked three Stogies last week. Because of you guys, I told you, I have an addiction problem with cigars. We cheated on you, bro.

And you guys enabled it. You put one in, you said, you're going, you're going. If you saw his reaction last week, you'd think this guy hasn't touched a cigar in 40 years. Oh, I was here for the pre-k podcast discussion. I hope because I know I have a problem. As soon as I touch a cigar, it's, okay, now I'm gonna sleep, fall asleep with one in my mouth.

Doesn't sound like it, sounds like you smoked two and then got right back to 20 fucking more holes well so we I smoked one while we were after lunch and then we went out we said okay well fuck it let's just go play again because I think that they only charged the guest fee for for one round so we figured yeah and then we carried our bags for the second, 18, which doesn't sound crazy, but it's a very hilly course. Yeah. It's a pretty challenging walk, actually.

Yeah, I've done those. Tough. And so we played that, and I was smoking a cigar for that round. Yeah. So I had a walk-in one. What did you do with the thing where you just throw it on the ground?

No, dude. The pesticides. Oh yeah, that makes sense. That's not good. You ever see when guys do that though? Where they're teeing off and they just throw their cigar on the ground? Like fucking John Daly. Yeah.

Who just doesn't give a fuck. I would lean it up against the T-marker or I would put it on my bag in a little spot. Keep it in your mouth. Daly would dip it in the pesticide. Get it in her eyes. What's that in there? Watch this drive. Dude, this course, this course actually uses drones to apply spray.

That's smart. All that crazy. It saves money. So then I finished, we went in and I was so fucking hungry from the amount of calories that I had burned Yeah from this wall from the cigar and then we went and had another meal damn I had more drinks and then I Got home at like six o'clock. So I was at the golf course. I went and started raining 8 a.m. To 6 p.m. Yeah, that's a fucking shit

That's so much gold that Was that Saturday you said? Yeah. And I got home and I was like, you know, I have four shows tonight. So I should probably sleep. Four shows? Jordan's doing that kind of shit. Go play 36 and he's got a game against Spain. Yeah. That's hell.

So I managed to nap for 30 minutes and I thought, oh man, this is great. And I woke up and I thought, okay, I don't really feel great, but I'll be okay. And then I got on a city bike and biked to the stand. And when I got off the city bike at the stand, I was there, I don't know, it must've been nine

and my spot was 9.15. Yeah. I thought I'm gonna throw up. It was as if the biking had unlocked the nausea from the seven beers, two John Daly's I'd had, and the two cigars. That was the moment where it caught up to me. That's a big day.

I went on stage, I had filled up one of the plastic sort of Tupperware containers with water from the water filter downstairs and brought that on stage with me and didn't even think about it. And someone was like, why, what's that? Like, why do you have so much water? And then I just felt like I had to tell them.

I was like, I'm gonna be honest with you. I had two cigars today, and I might throw up. And they were like, ah. And I was like, I'm not. People don't like when you say that, I've done that before. I wasn't kidding at all. And I thought I was gonna kill.

I had a thin sheen. Yeah, I thought I was gonna puke. I had a thin sheen of sweat on my forehead, that sort of green sweat. Oh yeah. And I was really nauseous, I didn't have that great of a set on the early, and then I kinda leveled out and

Get some food in you. Oh What did I yeah, I must have eaten something that always brings you back to life little grub But I'd eaten it at like 530 so I didn't really need to But it's not that's tough. That's a tough day. Yeah, it was it was too much 28,000 steps seven beers and two cigars and then four spots I think I had three cocktails too. Fucked. Cuz I go fishing and I know I have like four spots at night I'm like this is gonna be I had my one of yours means we're gonna know camera Something really degenerate. Yeah, I had my first cocktail at 8.15 in the morning.

Jesus. A Greyhound. Do you know what that is? No, but I've heard of it. Vodka soda splash of grapefruit juice. Yeah, definitely heard of it. I like it, it's like my breakfast cocktail. So I had one of those.

Nobody married. And then I had one of the Turn. The Turn. Yeah. 17? No, the Turn's like a 10. Eight, 10. Ninth hole, halfway house, right?

So between nine and 10. If you're playing 36, it would be 17. Mm-mm. The turn's always gonna be. If you're playing 36, the turn would be 18. I'm not even gonna take this off. Now? Oh, this is gonna be a whole Reddit post.

We're gonna argue. I know how the show works now. Yeah. So I did that, and then I had a John Daly at 14. What's a John Daly? I'm imagining it's like a lawn. It's a Arnold Palmer with vodka. Oh.

So iced tea, lemonade, vodka. Sounds lovely. And they pour them stiff. Oh, they pour them tall. It's a John Daly. It's a John Daly. Right. And then we got in for lunch and I had three Amstel lights.

I don't even know how you can enjoy yourself during that. And then we went out for another 18. Was the entire time in the back of your head were you not like, I have four shows tonight? It just seemed really far away. When I'm about to light that second cigar, seemed really far away. Four shows is a lot of shows.

Michael Jordan did. But they were spots. Yeah, but still you're there for hours. And then I had, and then I had mine last night at- Oh yeah. West Nite. Yeah, yeah. And I had done three spots on Friday.

I did, and I had spots Thursday and Wednesday. Damn, we had much different weekends. I had, I mean, maybe one of the more least productive weekends I've had ever. That's why I went to the gym today. I was like, I gotta do something. I was like, I gotta jumpstart. I went to bed at 11 last night. God forbid.

Well, I was like, this has to change. I was like, I can't live like this. Cause I was supposed to go to Edmonton last weekend and then I lost my passport and I couldn't go. And I had to, so I had to cancel the shows and then I didn't have any spots because it was to last minute and it's like a whole weekend because you lost your password dude that wasn't the only we can cancel you couldn't even imagine wasn't the only Canadian weekend he canceled like I gotta get some lag

it's like I was texting my friends this morning I just kept repeating to myself I was like they can't take away my health. I was like, I gotta get something under control. They, no one took anything away. They took my passport. I thought you said you lost it. It was stolen. No it wasn't, dude.

What are you talking about? If it was lost, someone would have returned it. That's not necessarily true. It could just still be. If you went through everything I went through, someone would have returned it. That's not necessarily true. It could just still be. If you went through everything I went through, you would think. Who gave it back to you? Like I think the last person to get the passports

before they finally destroy them is Donald Trump. Like I think the president is the only person who's legally allowed to destroy the passports. Like I think most of his days just, dude, I had to call like nine police stations. Okay. Wait, I thought you left it on the passport. I think most of his days just dude I had to call like nine police stations. Okay. I thought you left it on the plane. Yeah but they don't throw it away. They're like they're like it's somewhere. This is what this is. Alright this is so classic. He's like I didn't lose it. He leaves his passport on an airplane and that to him means it's stolen. The airplane stole my passport. It reached into my pocket and then goes high. It goes

high up. There's a Rogan episode. I was like, yeah, Trump gave me this passport. I'm supposed to put it out and see if anyone knows who this man is. Dude, it's like, you got to call the, I had to email the border. Dude, just because. They just have an email, you just gotta email the border. Just because you.

Do you guys have Harry Settle's passport? I had to find it online. What is it? I have no idea. Is it Gmail? Yeah, I think, yeah. The border at Gmail? It's at Gov or something.

Yeah. All right, just because, I don't even know why I'm trying to do this. Just because no one turned up your passport doesn't mean it was stolen. Yeah, I know. Where is the passport now? Gone. It's just gone.

It's on an Air Canada flight somewhere. It's never, never recovered. No, it's gone. Oh man. Because we went through customs. At least this is the theory that I've created in my head because I've looked at my apartment, like I've destroyed my apartment like 18 times in the last two weeks trying to find it. Cause I keep on being like, no,

it's gotta be here somewhere. And then I'll just relook for hours. There's nothing more frustrating than that. Cause you're like, cause I'm going through this whole process and the entire time you're like, but what if it's just here? You're like, what if I lift up the carpet

and it's under the carpet for some reason? Sure. Like there's never enough places to check, but. Actually, you know what's more frustrating is losing a child. Losing a child's gonna be tough. Not having closure. Because the kidnapper doesn't ever.

Leave a clue. They destroy the body somehow, or they keep them, you know, in one of those like really high tech sheds For a long long time like a shed that has like facial recognition. Yeah get in It's like guys been driving a Toyota Tacoma all these years No one no one thought no one knew in spy kids Yeah, I think the parents have the same thoughts that like anti heat material all over the roof of that shed he went to every single night.

What was he doing back there? Have you ever seen The Clovich Killer, the movie? No, but I've seen Room. Yeah, Room's pretty fucked up too. Room is so fucked up. That was one that's so fucked up that it's not even really enjoyable. No, I just sat with me the cloak. It's not really enjoyable either. I wouldn't even recommend it dog shit movie But it's about the BTK killer What's that that was you guys ever watch mind hunter killed every member of that Korean boy band? No, no, that's uh, I

Know BTTS. Is it BTS behind the scenes? Now, what is it? Okay, well it's kpop mm-hmm BT I think we're losing traction. But anyway, this this is how it goes. This is why I'm here. We move we move quick We move quick BTS. Oh it is BTS. It's BTS.

Okay. Well done. What was I saying about BTS? You were telling us where you hid that child in your basement. The passport. I was talking about the passport. So yeah, pretty much it's gone.

You can't get it back. I don't know. No, you were talking about the Cloverfield killer. The Cloverfield killer. Yeah, yeah. Why did that have to do with the band? The band, BTS? Yeah. It didn't. Well, no, that's because you brought that up. What did BTK have to do with the band? The band? BTS? Yeah. It didn't do anything. What did BTK have to do with

Cloak? I'm the stenographer. We were talking about the Sheds. We were talking about the Sheds with the guy, the BTK killer was a dude in like the Midwest who this thing was like bind torture kill BTK. Oh. He was a serial killer. Did they call him that or did he torture? I think he called himself that. Yeah, for sure. And he didn't BTK. I think he was killing people in the 90s and then they never found him. And then in like the 2000 or it might have been even earlier. It could have been like the 80s or the 70s.

And they never found him for years. And then in like 2000, early 2000, I think it was 2006, he was, he like sent them a floppy disk with like a message on it. And they were like, you, he was like, you guys can't track this, right? He sent it to the police, because he was sending letters to the police station before.

And he's like, this is way easier. Can I just send you guys floppy disk? Like, can you track it? And they were like, no. And then he sent it to them and they immediately found him. He was, and then like, he was like genuinely genuinely pissed like there's interviews of him being like no Yeah, there's interviews of him being like you said you couldn't find it. You couldn't you couldn't track me and they were like we lied But uh, yeah, there's a movie where he like goes out into the shed and he's got like he goes into like his dad's

Workshed and there's like IDs of all these like teenage girls and shit yeah, see that concept that that happens in humanity is Darker to me than serial killers by by a good margin. Well, that's that is a serial killer Well, but fine, but I'm talking about the people who keep found the people that keep You know abduct children or teenagers and keep them imprisoned for decades. Yeah it's fucked. That is I really have a hard time with that. You're saying take them out. It's more like it's more humane. It's just it's just so fucked like to think about that existence and I don't know what you do. I mean, obviously, what can you do?

If you can't even, I hate to get really dark, but you can't even kill yourself to end this horrible daily cycle of abuse and all these things. I mean, you find out, you hear about these stories and I'm like, I wish I hadn't read that, you know? Yeah, definitely. Cause it's just, you think about like, you ever think about it?

Getting kidnapped? And being held for 20 years in a fucking hole? That's exactly why I'm hitting the gym. But no, I don't, kidnapping is not a big fear of mine. Like, yeah, I mean, I prefer just to not think about that. Cause I'm not gonna suck. Like a misery situation. Like somebody who's a super fan, I prefer just to not think about that. What about like a misery situation? Like somebody's a super fan? They tie you to the bed? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, is that Hitchcock? No, misery was that Netflix show, right? Stephen King. Oh. Yeah, where she breaks his legs, right? And with the hammer? Famous scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think about that too. I think about that one. Well, you're a name, you're a name, you could have super fan out there Your car breaks down in the middle of Michigan. Yeah, and then they tie you up to the bed Yeah, ties me up so they can read my Twitter draft. Yeah, they're like, just write me one more tweet Harry Just write me one more tweet. Just every day they come in and they edge you Ruined orgasm. That would be a funny orgasm. That would be a funnier story No, where they get you right to the edge and then it just dribbles out and you're like, no, then you're not.

Never seen that would be so bad. Worse than being held for decades. You rock hard. She takes a sledgehammer. Just once a day every day you're like I think she's gonna let me bust You got to choose buster sledgehammer, it's never bought like undercops never It's always rockedgehammer. It's always rock. It's never paper or scissors. I can't bust anymore. My dick looks like a fucking Slinky. Harvey Weinstein's dick. These tweets were hilarious. You said they were. When do I get to go home?

You haven't said a single funny thing since you got here. All right. Let's a look at that. All right. Let's go. Cool. Things off. Sledgehammer bust is a good

risk. Sledge your boss. Yeah. That's the name. There's going to be frat dudes playing that now. No, no, dude. Harry and Fritz just made it up. Oh, you know what? I did watch a show recently on Hulu with, I think it was on Hulu with Steve Carell. And he plays a therapist who gets kidnapped by one of his patients.

Oh yeah. I think it's called Patience. Was that a good, it was a show? It was a show. Was it good? No. It was fine, but it was like, it kind of drags. But it's like the whole time he's trying

to convince his therapist to not kill him. It's actually it actually is patient. He's patient. Yeah. But he has to have patience. No, I get that. But I'm saying like he has to. I understand.

Correll likes to get creative like that. You know, let's have the episode here. See how much you have been working out. All right. Well, thank you guys for listening. Hey, check out Nick Murphy on Netflix coming up soon, right? Yeah. You're doing the.

It'll be on the YouTube channel, yeah. It'll be on their YouTube. Young. Introducing. Introducing. Introducing. Very cool. Thank you.

I'm going to be in Philly next weekend. Tickets are running low, so please go get tickets for that before they run out. I've got Kansas City this weekend and I've got Dallas and Chicago. A couple of the Chicago shows have already sold out, so get on that. Tickets at PunchUp.live slash Francis Ellis. And we will see you soon. Go see these guys. I'm sorry. Still underground So I looked older

To you, came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting Fall was I So, so then you listen Now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way

I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Finished to your right Did you realize No one could take me alive I was only falling one way See it just a distant light, being fast forever bright, call it just a memory, take my hand and you can see I'm going home I'm going home

I'm going home I'm going home I'm going home Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, No one could take me alive