Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad #140 ft. Nick, KB, & Aidan McCluskey

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

Son of a Boy Dad #140 ft. Nick, KB, & Aidan McCluskey Live from ChicagoYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. beer yeah oh we're live oh that was it that was easy You guys have a song or anything? A ditty? Hell no. We'll just get right into it. Oh, you want to take the... No, no, I thought we were just starting in a conversation. I didn't know if you were doing an intro. We are live from New York...

Or from Chicago. From Chicago. Roan is not here today because he's in New York and I'm in Chicago. And we're joined by aiden mccluskey what's up man stand-up comedian do you spell your name with a question mark like that after the first and last okay aiden i just didn't know how to pronounce it right disgusted question mark i know and then then Kyle Bauer and Nick Teraney.

Yeah, thank you for having me. Yeah, of course. Excited to be here. Thanks for being here, guys. Do you think people are shocked they can hear it? Yeah, definitely. This is a big upgrade for us. Shout out Stephanie.

Whoa. Yeah, so. No, no, no. That's weird as hell, dude. They hear him normally, I think. Yeah, like a karaoke bar mic, dude. Wait, yeah. I don't know if we need that amplifier because we could just hear him normally, I think. Yeah, like a karaoke bar mic, dude. Wait, yeah. I don't know if we need that amplifier

because we could just hear your voice regularly. Yeah. That's pretty cool, though. That's kind of sweet, yeah. Can you auto-tune it? I think it's just auto-tuned for us. I think it's normal on the stream. When are you flying back to New York?

Sunday. Okay. Sunday? Why? Friday is like the call for worldwide jihad. That's when all the, that's when Brandon's flying out to Baton Rouge. Babe,

what does that mean? Wait. Oh yeah. They, like the, they called for a day of jihad. Oh, so it's gonna be like terrorist attacks?

I don't know. I mean, dude, I was, when I flew in yesterday, the TSA was out of control. Yeah? Yeah.

It was, they were scanning every single bag individually for like two minutes. Did you have anything embarrassing in there? No, but they searched my bag and there was nothing in it. I was like, I don't know what you're looking for. We,

we can find shit. We flew once, Kyle got stopped by TSA. Remember when we did like the sandwich draft or BLT draft? Yeah. Kyle had a leftover ingredient left in his bag and TSA like pulled it out and

was like what the fuck yeah it was baked beans but in order to get to the baked beans at the bottom he had to dig through a bunch of like fake Louis Vuitton gear that we were bringing to rough and rowdy you put your beans in a bag yeah we did a sandwich draft like most podcasts. What the fuck? We actually had a physical sandwich draft. Yeah, it was all visual, but it was good for the pod. We all did bring ingredients. Gotcha. I brought baked beans and I had a leftover can.

Oh, you just had a can. Yeah, and TSA. Are you not allowed to bring beans on plans? No. No. Really? I saw the person in front of me at TSA yesterday had a whole squash. Squash is fine.

Different items. Vastly different. But that's way more food. You need to name two genetically different things. But it was a big ass squash. Why wouldn't you be allowed to bring a little can of beans? You put that on the end of floss and it's a fucking mace, dude. The beans?

Yeah. The squash isn't? Would you rather get hit with a can of beans or a squash? Definitely a squash. Yeah. Yeah. I had candy't? Would you rather get hit with a can of beans or a squash? Definitely a squash. Yeah. Yeah. I had candy squash the other day. It was good.

Candy squash? Yeah. What is that? Squash is a gummy? Maybe the worst vegetable. Squash is up there for the worst. It's mushroom squash. Yeah, I hate mushrooms.

Is that considered a vegetable though? No, I think it's a fungus. Bring it closer. Bring it a little closer? Yeah yeah you can also adjust it i'll just i don't know how the fuck this works fuck yeah uh aiden you're from wisconsin uh southwest wisconsin southwest wisconsin is that what what town what city is that galesville wisconsin what's like the biggest city in southwest wisconsin uh lacrosse i guess is the closest to it yeah like 30 miles north or south i think yeah aiden's mobile yeah i kind of all over the place he's all over the place in what way

i live like i have a bed in the back of my car oh you're like that yeah he's mobile yeah he got me a bed for the week and that's awesome what prompted that like living out of my car oh you're like that yeah he's mobile yeah he got me a bed for the week and that's awesome what prompted that like living out of my car stand up yeah just doing gigs i was sick of like i worked so many different jobs and i was like i would rather be poor and live out of my car than fucking deal with then be rich and yeah i don't want to deal with that i mean i'd rather why have a life so you've been where all of you slept in your car like all over the country oh yeah all really campsites and things like that yeah have you ever had like any close calls scary calls uh i was sleeping so like if i do shows in

the city i'll crash in my car yeah and like i hit up a buddy of mine i was like can i just sleep in front of your house and he was like yeah no problem wait he wouldn't invite you in i don't know you know the first thing i would say is dude you're being weird i'm inside no i there's too much pride involved and also i had like lived at that place before oh so you and he owns the house i still can't fathom not inviting you inside i don't know we it's a he's got a nice setup yeah do you it's a good little rig yeah i mean sleep six foot end to end because his ex girlfriend was a tall lady yeah she was six one so we had to build this girlfriend was six how tall are you five eight she played a college ball and then hurt her knee fucked her knee up

ever heard of Brittany Griner? That was your ex. Yeah, I was heartbroken, dude. I had to go over. Which knee did she hurt? Her weenie? I've been smushed back there. It's very comfortable.

Yeah, he laid back there in Detroit. He said smushed. Yeah, smushed. Oh, that's because it was comfortable. Well, Sask at shotgun. Wait, wait. Do you document this in video form at all? Not at all.

I respect that a lot. I thought about it, it but i was like that's kind of gay just being like here's a day in the life it's like you want to fucking watch me shower at planet fitness so you when you do shows you said the city you mean new york city uh any city yeah so any city new york i have enough people where i'll like crash on the couch but and you'll typically park it where? Say if you're in a different city? Residential neighborhood, somewhere where like. Really? Yeah. Lower middle class where they're like, oh, that's probably a buddy of someone in the neighborhood. Like they're not going to call the police.

Walmart parking lots are good too, right? Walmart parking lots are all right, but they don't turn the lights off. So it's fucking like bright in there all the time and you have to crack the windows otherwise it gets fucking hot and like the condensation what do you do about temperature control there's really none at all

I just kinda it's either more blankets or I'm just sleeping bare underwear I was sleeping on like close to state street in Madison once and I had a parking meter she thought I was dead and I had to like crawl out of the car in my boxers and my shirt and be like no bit do not fucking tell my car i'm in here right now was your tall ass giant girlfriend cool with you sleeping in your car she was insane though so it was yeah she would crash that's why it's six feet so you you'd fuck in the car all the time

yeah i've fucked in the car a handful of times i was seeing this homeless lady for a while yeah and yeah i was seeing this you were seeing a homeless girl yeah it was seeing because i mean you just like give off a different pheromone when you are your holder yeah yeah wait yeah that homeless lady was also seeing a homeless person yeah yeah and then... I was fascinated. Your dopamine is probably great. He's like cool homeless. She was like real homeless.

So do you seek out discomfort? I mean... Do you do like very challenging things on purpose? It just gets boring to live like... Yeah, I'm reading a book about that now. I'm like so fucking comfortable. You're on the second page. That was a good two page.

You read the back cover. You read the fucking. He counts the cover as a page too. Rodney Mullen, the pro skater, married a homeless woman, I think. He's a cool guy. Yeah. He invented the primo. She wasn't cool.

No? No. She like, so for a while I was staying, she lived in like northern Minnesota and I didn't have any gigs for a while. So I was like, like northern minnesota and i didn't have any gigs for a while so i was like can i crash at your on your that's not homeless property her mom so her mom owned a group home and she stayed outside in an rv okay and we were staying in this rv and like for a few days and like on the third day she was like i'll cook us dinner because she was like it was like a commune type situation she was growing all of her food and uh so she like picked all these

vegetables and then went inside and she's like you can come inside if you want so i was like that would be awesome and i went inside and then her mom came down and she started bitching at her mom and then one of the like retarded people from the group home came down and she was like how do i do laundry and she they're like get back upstairs and i was like i can't keep living this way yeah i'd rather be alone it almost always ends up happening that yeah oh my god that's so funny both her and her mom they like were going at it and then they saw her and all of the anger was A group commune that grows their own food, but it was was a group home Yeah, and then straight up just a house with multiple different people or was it like like a halfway house like a thing where you could like

Yeah, well it was weird At all you're playing real coy Like was it a bunch of people living under one roof or was this like a government thing well i mean it's government funded because you don't want to see those people in society so then they're like yeah it's like she was was she was actually crazy the yeah well she was like mentally disabled it was like a girlfriend no not the she may as well have been, but she. Wait, the Amazonian or the. No, the homeless. The homeless girl.

Yeah. I started seeing her after the Amazonian woman. Yeah. So what's your type? Whatever will take me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I've, I thought about it. I've never actually like gone after anybody I've been like genuinely interested in. I just like let people come to me and then I just take it and be like, why is this going so poorly? Yeah. So you're living on the road and say you want to say that you're in the mood to have sex or meet somebody.

Do you go out to the bar or what? I don't even drink anymore. So yeah, I don't. It's just like if they, well, what's the situation? Because I don't know. What are we talking about? I don't know. What do we talk? I don't know what your exact situation is.

I'll just go on. Constantly. You spend every pretty much every night in your car. Well, I mean, typically, like if he didn't get me a hotel, I would just be like, OK, I'll do this gig and then get to Chicago, hopefully with like enough time to spare to get on Tinder and find a woman. Oh, you use Tinder. OK. Yeah. Yeah. And then how does that work? hopefully with like enough time to spare to get on tinder and find a woman oh you use tinder okay

yeah yeah and then like my how does that work a typical like what does a tinder date look like it's just uh you want to go to your place do you want to go i'll buy you a couple of drinks ever swipe left left do i ever swipe left no beggars can't be cheated. My standards aren't exactly the highest. I've had some stinky sex being homeless, dude. Some of these bitches that have houses are stinkier than the homeless ones.

Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, they say that. Yeah. Oh, man. So you've been to some stinky bitches' houses? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like garbage on the floor? Garbage on the floor, cigarette butt. One bitch had a free roam rabbit. No way. Yeah.

Those things are shitting nonstop. All the time. Pissing everywhere. Are those the big ones? Yeah. Those are the huge ones, right? Yeah. The big rabbit.

Yeah. There's just pellets all over. It's like, all right, whatever. Shit pellets or just? Yeah, shit pellets. Okay. Shit food. Pellets of that size have to just be normal shit.

Did you say anything about this? Like, bitch, you nasty? No. It was just like, I'll keep... I would've. I mean, you get done fucking, you immediately... That's why I wear the Velcros. I don't want to be constantly tying my shoes.

Yeah. Getting in and out of bed, you know? So, like, I'll throw my shoes on. Wait, it was that nasty where you had to put your shoes on to get out of bed? Oh, yeah. I've been in some situations like that, dude. Stepping on a glass. This has roaches in her crib.

That's crazy. So a lot of these women are trifling, probably. There was a story that you told me when I first met you in Detroit about how you were with a, there was a, was it a hooker, but you weren't fucking her? Oh, yeah. Coco. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Went to denny's waffle house yeah yeah yeah i met this uh so i was staying i was doing these like shitty road gigs and it went from like there was this booker his name i don't know this is a lie i'll just say his name ron harron he's fucking insane this is live yeah that's all right he's he's an insane person people keep telling him he's stealing valor and it fires him up because he's like a veteran and you just be like oh you steal valor wait but he's an actual veteran are you gaslighting him into thinking he was never

it's just funny to be like dude you're stealing valor dude and he's like fuck you i need you in delaware tomorrow you're like deal dude uh that gig that you did when they didn't have a microphone and you had to buy a karaoke? Yep. Yeah. That was, oh, that was demoralizing. Let's not laugh because we did that for Yak Live once. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. That was awful.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I did these gigs. It went from Ohio to Washington, Pennsylvania, and then it was supposed to be in upstate New York. And the one I did in Pennsylvania... That's where we're from pretty much, Washington, PA. Oh, really? Yeah, I stayed there at the Roadway Inn, and that's where I met Coco. So I got there...

There are hookers in Washington. Washington, WAPOC. Yeah, there are. WAPOC hooker? Go to the Roadway. You'll find a bunch of them. And Mexicans. A lot of Mexicans and hookers

at the Roadway Inn in Washington, Pennsylvania. Interesting. Yep, yep. But I got to the gig and I was like, so you guys have like a sound system? They're like, no, I thought you brought it. And I was like, cool. So I like called my mom and I was like, can you send me a screenshot of your Sam's card? And she was like, yeah.

And she sent me the screenshot of the Sam's Club card. And I fucking bought this karaoke machine and uh i was like what's the return policy on electronics because i got to bring this back tomorrow yeah and they're like yeah you can bring it back within 30 days i was like perfect so i got there plugged it in turned it on and it sounds like mooc's like right now like just blown out like you're at some fucking like one of those restaurants where they're announcing names like for the table yeah yeah yeah like a fucking what venue was it dude it was like a winery and you see me walk into a winery you're not happy like yeah i showed up plug the system in and there was like was like a rainbow light and it just kept flashing

behind me. And I would tell the jokes and like with the bass, it flashes. So no one's laughing. And it's just blown out audio like an Xbox Live game chat and lights flashing behind me. And it had wheels on it. So after the show, I was like, to be honest, I don't know if i'm even getting paid to do this right now because ron was mad at me and they were like no one gave a shit this dude like tipped me a hundred dollars and he's like i hope this helps and i was like thank

you and i just had to walk out of the winery dragging this system behind yeah rolling it out and then i got to the roadway and i checked in and i immediately forgot what room i was in so i tried to get into the room next to mine and then i walked back to the uh check-in desk and i walked back and at this point there's like this like big black lady standing outside she's like you lost and i was like fuck here we go she's like you lost and i'm like oh here we go he heard you the first time yeah and i mean i've paid for sex before so i know you know like that's the hallmark move and then she's like run how much is pussy run well what are we talking you you're talking straight pussy it It's like, are you saying... Yeah, I guess. Straight pussy. You're just talking like, as opposed to like...

Slightly crooked. I mean, we could talk hand job, blowjob, because they're not like... Yeah, we're saying pussy, man. Yeah. Pussy. You don't have no hands. In Vegas, it was... I wouldn't spend more than $100 on pussy in Vegas.

Well, it's better in like Washington, PA? No. That's the reason I didn't have sex with this woman okay so where have you where was like the nicest city you paid for it vegas for sure i 69 won in vegas did you have to request that beforehand yeah i maybe shouldn't have done that and she just straddled me and i was like like you ever try to feed a kid vegetables like it was right in my face and i was kind of like i was like pulling away i didn't want it in my face dude and then i was like i've are i'm here how did the 69 start well so i paid for a bj and she started going in but then she started like kicking her leg up so i was like oh okay like she was mounting a horse and then she just fucking threw her leg over and put it right in my face.

And I was like, I don't want that. Like, no, I don't want this in my face right now. But then it was like, fuck, I'm already here. You know, I probably already got whatever she's given me. Yeah. Let me dig it. Two hundred dollars for that. That was 60 bucks. OK. Yeah. Really it's not bad it's like an is that an xbox game yeah yeah yeah fuck yeah dude

that's like naughty i mean like war zone these days all right that's significantly less than really so like i'm thinking like that's like plants versus zombies 2 That's like Plants vs. Zombies 2. Rob, please. Well, it's like, because they're going to price it based on like, you got to think they're just getting like old dudes that they don't want to fuck. So if you look moderately presentable and they're just kind of like, oh, I maybe would have had sex with this guy for no charge at all. So then... Oh, so they can adjust the price themselves. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

Interesting. I always thought it was like thousands of dollars. Yeah, same. I would never do it because my ass would end up falling in love, dude. Yeah, true. It's like seafood. There's a market rate. Oh, yeah, the market price.

Yeah. It fluctuates based off... That's got to be tough if you and your boys go out to get prostitutes in Vegas and you're like, how much did you guys pay? Nobody wants to say first. I paid 50 and then one of your boys is like, I paid $2,000. Dude, I can't believe a handjob was a grand. Over the pants.

I can't believe an over the pants HJ was $10,000. You said you'd fall in love. The one that I 69 told me she loved me. For real? Yeah. She didn't hardly speak English at all.

What? Yeah, she didn't really speak English at all. And she like, that's all she said. Yeah, she like cleaned me up. What do you mean she cleaned you up?

So I went to like a handjob parlor, right? Oh, okay. Oh, the parlor. This was the one time I went to the parlor and I went to them a handjob parlor, right? Oh, okay. Oh, the parlor. This was the one time I went to the parlor. And I went to them a handful of times, but this was the one time that's... Part-time. Yeah.

And they clean you up when you're done, but I didn't know that. What do they do? They sanitize you? They'll just come in with like a hot towel. Oh, that's nice. And wipe you up. And I didn't know that, so I just like tore the paper off of the table and wiped up yeah like paper on the table yeah yeah like a pediatrician's office right yeah because

i mean there's a lot of dudes laying on the table so they lay the paper on the table so that you can like just tear it off when you're done and pull a new roll on there so i just tore the paper off and cleaned up that way and got completely dressed and then she came back in with the hot towel and was like i clean and i was like oh and i just got undressed plop my dick out of the front of my pants and she just wipes it up and before i even got it like cleaned entirely and put my dick away she like wraps me in and she's like i love you and i was like that's not what love is cleaning up your dick after you're done cumming is what love is it sounds like that was love man

dude I've lived such a vanilla life I know I've only been sleeping with girls I'm attracted to and like lucky damn dude I've hardly lived at all you don't feel good after it shouldn't be called like happy

ending massage it should just be called fucking long car ride home with no radio massage dude it's just in silence yeah that's got to be the quietest car is that oh yeah i would try to avoid my reflection oh yeah turning the rearview mirror away from it off completely. Putting a piece of duct tape over it. Or if you go enough, you could get like one of those slide things. Oh, man. Good shit. Coco.

Oh, that's right. So she's standing outside of her hotel and I'm like trying to fucking unlock the door and she's like you lost i was like a little bit i fucked up i thought your room was mine and then she's like you like chocolate and i'm like here we go here's the sales pitch and i was like yeah because i do like candy i fucking love candy yeah and she went back into a room and came out with a bunch of like salted chocolate candy the chocolate sarah's candy's right there yeah yeah probably that yeah they have great reaper floats too oh really very thirsty so they have a water dispenser nice yeah it did best pretzel rods yeah she probably gave you the pretzel rods yeah it was like a cluster yeah oh yeah they had the club came out i was like oh there was no pun involved in this

you were actually asking if i wanted chocolate so i was eating chocolate with her outside then she starts telling me about like this pimp that she's living with and how she doesn't like him and blah blah blah and he's mean and i was like well i'm about to go get dinner do you want to get dinner she was like sure so she's like what's the restaurant in washington uh it's like park and eat she wanted me to go to park eaton park you're so close yeah that would be the correct order you do it but it's called eaton park yeah eaton park so she's like let's go to eaton park you got a smiley face cookie no they wouldn't serve us when we got there yeah i don't know they wouldn't fucking serve us that

must have been a wild crew walking in yeah okay so who is a wild crew of two yeah you and a 400 pound black yeah yeah able for two please no we got a prostitute and a homeless person one brought a karaoke machine so they wouldn't serve us so I was like well let's go to Waffle House they're not going to kick us out of Waffle House there is one in Washington right fucking close to the parking lot eating pork sorry so we ate there and

then she paid for my dinner and she kept talking about because she's like my type is guys like you she likes skinny white dudes but her pimp doesn't like white people and she was like you gotta she keeps telling me like her pimp doesn't like white people blah blah blah and i'm like well i don't want to meet this guy and we're staying like right next to each other i was like is he home right now and she's like i don't know he's like 30 but he hangs out with them 18 year olds and i'm like what the fuck does that even mean yeah like i think that's precisely what it means but i don't think he's fucking 18 years old so uh he doesn't fuck him he just rolls with a pack of them yeah i think so so i'm like we gotta go back and on the way back to the roadway she's telling me i'm like where do you like do

you have a job or anything she's like yeah i work at sam's club and i was like no shit i actually have to go there tomorrow and she's like i well i work in the morning i was like well i'll give you a ride to sam's club in the morning because i got to return something and then i was like what time do you have to work she's like seven i'm like fuck all right because it's like midnight at this point and uh i was like well since you got breakfast or dinner last night i'll get you breakfast and i immediately regretted that when she was pounding on my door at 5 45 in the morning yeah and open the door she's standing there and take her to breakfast and she's like you're the nicest person i've ever met wow it's like don't

fucking tell me that fucking driver to sam's club wheeling the karaoke machine behind me in the pouring rain. And she's like, you're going to come back, right? And I was like, no. You told her you broke her heart. I did. Never even had sex. She wanted to come into my room. And I was like, no, you're not coming in.

She's like, I think what deep down. Why did you invite her to dinner? Invite to take her to work? I felt bad for her, man. That was it. Yeah. I mean, she seemed like a sweet girl. She was only 20 years old, I think. invite her to dinner invite to take her to work i felt bad for her man that was it yeah i mean she seemed like a sweet girl she was only 20 years old i think 2021 i was i was picturing her

i was picturing an old no no yeah i didn't know that yeah she's a young girl so i felt like bad for her and she was telling me how like she came she was adopted her and her siblings and like your situation what who was your situation yeah what was yours at the time life life early life i had a pretty good yeah yeah it was just basic middle of the road nowhere wisconsin kind of life yeah yeah so do you you choose to live out of your car yeah like you like that to a degree i think like it's got to be because like humans are programmed to survive right yeah so like when you find a place like you find food and you find a place to sleep for the night yeah like the reward system in your brain is like unlike anything that's like no now live an ultra comfortable lifestyle yeah temperature

food right eat and do whatever we want and feel as good as we want to feel yeah you give all of that up and it's all basic necessity like living day to day at the end of the day when you're like about to go to bed or like you've figured everything out it just is like it feels like you're coming there's like no feeling in the world what i'm reading in this book yeah j. Jesus Christ. Yeah. The first two pages of this book. You're on page 22? 7, 22. KB, are you still on the protocol?

All I know is this, I'm off boozing weed now, which is good. Nice. You're not going to booze tonight? No. It's boozy spelling bee. Yeah, for the competitors. Okay. Yeah, it's's gonna be hard but um yeah this guy is first off

the alaskan bush plains a hundred crash a year they are wildly unsafe and there's people who like go to the harshest most remote areas of alaska just to live off the land to feel yeah like primitive because the rewards from survival is so much better than like what we have now absolutely dude have you seen the helicopter he took in Alaska to that glacier it is the most

smallest most rinky dink thing ever oh yeah that thing should have gone down that was like the type 2 crash yeah fuck that yeah I don't know that's like my friend Bo That thing should have gone down. That was like the type two crash. Yeah. Fuck that. Yeah. I don't know. That's like my friend,

Bo. He, the helicopters that he was taking were insane. He has a monopoly. You never bring up any of your other boys. Yeah. I'm top dog in my friend group, by the way.

Are you? Yeah. You mentioned that big time. I'm top dog in mine as well. Yeah. Kyle, you are too. I saw you leading a pile. The definition of top dog. Yeah. Whenever he has his wrestlers? Yeah. You mentioned that. Big time. I'm top dog in mine as well. Yeah. Kyle, you are too. I saw you leading a pack.

Kyle's the definition of top dog. Yeah. Whenever he has his wrestlers in New York. Yeah, they follow him around in single file. Dude, they're walking like they're having to save Augustus Gloop from chocolate. Yeah. Yeah, they respect me a lot. Yeah.

You run with a small group too. That's why going back to Pittsburgh, hanging with them. I was like, yeah, this is the first time I'm ever a top dog. No, you're a top dog here. I think you're intimidated. You're intimidated. People intimidate, are intimidated by you,

Jesus Christ. You got me nervous. I think you're a top dog. Wow, that's crazy. We're all top dogs. I know. I don't know if I am.

Like, the way I just described living, that's not a top dog living. No, you're certainly, I wasn't talking to you. Yeah, good. Yeah, good.

I'm glad I'm not included in that. During top dog conversation. I'm repulsed by you. Yeah, as you should be, dude. What's the opposite of top dog? There's a lot of top dogs in this office. I can tell when I walk in. Oh, could you?

Yeah. The dog house. Yeah. Not really. Pretty much everyone here is as low top dog as you could. I can tell when I walk in. Oh, could you? Yeah. The dog house. Yeah. Not really. Pretty much everyone here is as low top dog as you could possibly get. Yeah. I think they just don't have a lot of friends to wear. Yeah. Being top dog

here is not tough. No, I'm always the smallest dog in the pack. Really? Oh, yeah. I have a certain crew, though, where I'm top dog. That's what I'm saying. Everyone should have one. I'm around, like, the card boys or the accountants. Oh, you're top dog. It's got to be pretty easy to be top dog in front of the card boys.

Yeah. The card boys. The card boys. They're one of the card boys. The boys that collect sports cards. My boy Meatball, Coach, Dirty Mike, Crazy Hot Steve. You met Big Chris. Did I?

The South Philly guy. Oh, yeah. How big was Big Chris? You met Big Chris. Did I? The South Philly guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How big was Big Chris? Big. Big boy. Damn. What makes Top Dog? Is it a confidence thing?

It's the first person to walk in the bar. It's a confidence thing. It's like you make the plans. I don't even know if you make the plans, but you can call a pivot. You can call a pivot. Yo, I'm not feeling this. Are you guys?

You can call a shot whenever you want. I don't think the guy who called that's a different a different plan i don't really call never top dog i don't really call plans they're like a middle of the road guy yeah they're content they know their role yeah and they look good they they appreciate the fact that they have a role who's the bottom dog in your crew don't be afraid to air don't air him out he should know it's it's gonna it's insane it's cole baxter no way yeah he's six five handsome as fuck the and he's the big dick guy he's a giant dick yeah we boss him around yeah sometimes it's easier to boss people around or like fuck with people that are that are better than you my boy marcus is marky b bottom dog yeah you met marky b he is a bottom dog yeah that does sound like marky b tiny dick yeah small ass dick yeah uh quick message from the chat they're calling aiden bucket hat kate kate yeah someone that works yeah she works here oh cool all right so i from the chat. They're calling Aiden Bucket Hat Kate. Bucket Hat Kate?

Someone that works in bar school. Oh, cool. Alright. Y'all actually have similar stories to what you just said. Was that like a physical similarity or? I think it was a lifestyle. I think all the above maybe? That's where she really sits. Maybe. Yeah, I think people think I'm in the middle of a transition. They're like,

how long have you been on T? You could be transitioning either way. You're smack dabbing. I'm right in the middle. You are right in the middle. Dude, you're at a crossroads in life right now. You get the peach fuzz on my face that I refuse to shave. That's either going away or coming in.

Yeah, we're going to have to see your dick. My dick is fucked up right now, dude. All right, take it back. We do not have to see your dick it's honestly but that's not surprising yeah no it's not surprising i'd imagine it would be more surprising the way you said right now it seems like it's it's something you have recently happened and i can uh well i mean it was a fucking stripper in the morning iowa just gone through a war in vegas oh this is recently the ve Vegas uh no this is your mangle dick new it's like did you wake up with this morning no no this has been freaking out no this is I mean it all things considered it looks better than it has yeah but this fucking stripper in

Des Moines Iowa at the diamond club she fucked it up bad it was hurt it no she just fucking gave me whatever she had okay yeah because i don't wear i never wear condoms and yeah most people don't i don't think yeah like if i was sleeping with a lady of the night i probably would yeah roll one down yeah true no i respect her sex workers yeah no they're just as clean as all of us keeping them that they can't be yeah i think when you said that it's been worse i think that should be a good sign that they're probably not as clean as all yeah i feel like your dick should be at the same it's pretty much consistent consistent yeah i mean it looks all right bad week my cock is

having a rough year it looks like you got ran over by an 18 wheeler dude it's fucked up dude your car looks horrible yeah it's coming down with something but the thing is it's weird the people i have sex with don't care yeah i'd just be like i'll wear a condom we're gonna fuck in the dark and they're like okay is it that it's visibly that fucked up? Yeah for a while. It was junk. It was just Like what's in the art does it doesn't still I know what it does it's Bumps scars look like someone put a cigarette burn. Yeah, man. Does it hurt? It's not a disbeaten. Wow It was for a while cuz I had to go in and get like every bump individually

like frozen oh off yeah and the doctor he'll like come in and how long of a process was it how long yeah real quick i mean we're on like a first name basis he and i he's like you do any shows this week and he's just blasting it off sometimes he has me stretch it out or other times i don't know he's just on one he's got a wild hair he'll snatch it and he'll just blasting it off. Sometimes he has me stretch it out or other times, I don't know, he's just on one. He's got a wild hair. He'll snatch it and he'll just blast it away. Damn. That's good to know. Yeah. It's good to know that you can just get him blasted off.

Yeah, I didn't know you could get him blasted off. I thought you meant good to know his dick is fucked up. That's not good to know. Disgusting. Dude, Sass, I want you to be in the middle of sleeping with somebody. She's like, I think I hooked up with your friend. Oh, Aiden? He's got a bed in the back of his car.

You said he knew you? Oh, no. Is the bed comfortable? You have a picture of it you can show me real quick? It's right down the street. I can show you after. Yeah, I right bring it in well no i mean let's leave and go check it out yeah why not yeah you might have taken a picture check it out i already have a video oh you've been in it yeah we were he drove us back to the hotel

yeah thank you for getting me a hotel that night oh yeah in detroit good man good man you don't even have one now i got the condo it's a condo's good the tv doesn't work and the bed is literally made out of fuck yeah it sounds good sounds good but aside for that the shower is great walk-in shower or tub walk-in shower nice guys anyone been to gatlinburg or the great smoky mountains the great smoky mountains are where in north tennessee tennessee aren't they in north walk-in shower. Nice. You guys, anyone been to Gatlinburg or the Great Smoky Mountains? The Great Smoky Mountains are where? In North? Tennessee.

Tennessee. Aren't they in North Carolina? They're in both. No, I have not. All right. Why? I'm going there this weekend. Really?

That'll be nice. What airport do you fly to? Knoxville? Knoxville, yeah. I've always wanted to go to the Smokies. I guess it's the most visited place in America.

No way. The most visited national park. Oh, okay. It's a natural place. Over Yellowstone and shit? Yeah. Really? Surprisingly.

Wow. Wouldn't have guessed that. I didn't even know about it. Have you been out west? Have you crashed in your car in like wyoming no i've not i lived in vegas for a little while but i had a place out there that was when i was like 21 how old are you 24 okay yeah have you ever met sam talent yeah yeah i met him in walker pretty well yeah he was homeless for a while yeah he gave me some shit about like i hit him up

because he had a show in waukesha and i was like hey dude could i do a guest set on your show i don't live far from there he's like sure and then the feature ended up dropping out and he's like you're featuring now so i featured for him and then he went on stage and he was like this aiden this drifter who lives out of his car dms me and asks for a guest set and then just comes and features. And now he's going to go live in his car again. Stand up, the sphere is like you'll have like multimillionaires and then homeless people on the same set. There's no middle class, I don't think, for stand up comedy. Yeah, there are a lot of people that's hurtled

middle class yeah he did no you're independently wealthy now not really getting people hotel rooms that was i was like a year ago independently wealthy yeah what happened i lost it all is it all the betting lost everything taxes oh i got fucking destroyed you just forget about them no i just paid them because i got an extension i just paid them like two weeks ago and it was literally like like half of my money yeah it's gone just don't pay them yeah yeah i know i shouldn't have paid them no then they kept on adding on they were adding on like fees for shit so i was like i gotta pay this stuff now i would have been had a panic attack. Yeah, it was pretty brutal.

It's actually, it kind of fucked me up for a little bit. Cause then I went to Portland and I just made $0. You made $0 there? Yeah. It wasn't, it wasn't the best deal. And, uh, well, I don't know. I would argue that that was the worst deal. Expensive as shit.

Oh yeah. So it's like, I ended up like just going like prettyensive as shit. Oh, yeah. So it's like I ended up just going pretty close to even. Yeah. Yeah, so that sucked. Because you got Mook's flight for like a week. You got the date wrong on it, right? Spirit, I'm still trying to get that fucking money back, but they're like, we don't do refunds.

You just get a credit? Because you fly enough. Yeah, but I'm not going to use Spirit credit. Yeah, why? Because I'm trying to get my points up on Delta. Oh. Yeah. Hopefully save some cash.

You have the Delta card? Yeah, you've been lounging, right? Yeah, I got the Delta. I got the Delta SkyMiles card. I want to get that. It's not as good as it seems. Francis made it sound. Francis made it seem like I was going to be fucking flying in private jets in the next month. Dude, I thought I was going to be Leo in Catch Me If You Can.

Yeah. Let me sit with the pilot. Yeah. Yeah, fuck around. Yeah. So yeah, what are the perks? I think you get, if you spend $5,000 in the first six months

that you have it, you get 60,000 miles. Oh God. That's $5,000. Yeah. But I thought it was miles that go towards medallion status but it's not it's just sky miles you don't the perks are just like money yeah and then like anytime you spend money anytime you buy a flight with the delta card you get three times in points what it costs you yeah so it's pretty good there are perks silver medallion i'm silver too

yeah i am silver i've been working my ass off to get to silver yeah it was wild so do you get into like the sky club you get into the sky i get into the sky club because i have the mx okay and then um and then i guess you get upgrades yeah it's never happened but it doesn't happen because it's like there's like silver golds or platinum platinum and diamond yeah and like they'll like you'll be looking at the list for upgrades and like if you're silver you're like 45th on the list yeah because then the people that are like diamond just get upgraded every single and then just war veterans as well yeah exactly the fucking veterans taking up all the goddamn first class seats i know um outrageous you have any ads i don't know i guess i probably should know that all right aiden just give us an ad for a product you swear by

planet fitness dude yeah yeah 25 bucks a product you swear by. Planet Fitness, dude. Yeah? Yeah, $25 a month. You'd shower anywhere in the country. I see the people. That's my least favorite part of it. Yeah. He's a big Planet Fitness guy.

Oh, are you? Yeah. What do you think of the dudes that come in in a polo and jeans and then just pound out ridiculous reps? Are they Indian guys? Yeah. Indian, Mexican dudes in American fighter shirts. I respect it, yeah. I just hate...

I think Indian dudes change into jeans before going to... They'll be in gym shorts for the next hour. Yeah, and then they'll change into a pair of Lee's. Yeah. Boot cut. Yeah, boot cut Lee's. Go to the Stairmaster. Yeah. I saw a girl at the gym one time uh squatting in high heels and i i part of me thinks that it was like a practice like a tiktok was it in new

york yeah that it was like they were waiting for people to look at her because she was literally squatting in high heels yeah and like a dress Jesus. Yeah, that's a little performative. I don't know if she was like going out and like wanted to get a pump in before she went out. No. That's gross. Yeah, it was gross. Very gross.

She might have also just been fucking insane. Could be. Was it at Planet Fitness? No, it was at Blink. But I think Blink's cheaper than Planet Fitness. It's hard to do. Blink's 20 bucks a month. What was the expensive one you joined?

Temple. But you didn't go, did you? Is that a gay one? Yeah. Okay. Super gay. They only have locations in West Village and Hell's Kitchen.

Yeah. Oh. Gayest neighborhood. It's just a steam room where you jerk somebody else off. Yeah, I mean, it's not even like, it's like a luxury gym, it's not it's worse than

blink because the one that i go to they don't have like a sauna i wanted to get like the sauna and shit they don't have it i don't understand the appeal of a luxury gym no i'm gonna set amount of exercise you should need to do is what is like the bench press nicer? No, there's less equipment. It's not a good gym. It's a bad gym. Equinox has like a smoothie bar. Yeah, what is Equinox? What's going on there?

You still have to pay for it. Yeah, I have no idea. It's a bad gym. I should probably cancel that. Nick, you should get into like riding horses. I hate horses. Horrified. Oh, yeah.

Horrified horses. Did you get bit or something? Yeah, I could see it or something yeah i could see you getting kicked in the face i worked at one of my first jobs was i worked at a zoo and i worked this horse camp over the summer and i had a close call with one like nipping my finger feeding a carrot and when they bite down on something they have their teeth their teeth have to touch in order for their mouth to open up so i would have lost like fingy damn yeah my mom got kicked in the face by a horse when she was a kid.

Knocked her teeth out. Yeah. She got fake teeth. She should be dead, dude. Kicked in the. Like the top. Horses are monsters. Top row.

I had a dude in. I had a dude that I grew up with who got kicked in the face by a horse. What happened? He was a little off. Yeah. Yeah. Just don't walk behind him. No, I don't fuck with horses, dude.

They're like I rode a horse in Wyoming like two years ago. That's sick. And yeah, it was cool. But then like my horse's ears were like pointed back or some shit. And they were like, yeah, that usually means it's about to like get in a fucking brawl with the other horses. And then the lady said that and just like went away. And I'm like, so what's my game plan? I'm on the back of the horse.

I'm on the back of the horse and they're into the fucking brawl breaks out we were on horses in arizona and fasoli flew his drone too close to oh yeah they probably freaked out freaked out and then the person leading us told me like that horse knows you're a pussy because it wasn't staying on the trail was just going in to eat yeah i was i was being a pussy i was gonna let him just eat yeah fuck horses yeah i remember everyone else was what is the galloping yeah galloping is like advanced galloping is level four yeah i think what is it's trotting galloping uh saunter dressage i don't know what it is but everyone was everyone started off with trotting and i never did trotting never and then they did and then they galloped and i was like well i'm definitely not doing that i never had to the point where i

have to stand and no no so i had to ride my horse like a mile down and then stop and then wait for them to all gallop and catch up that's dehumanizing yeah it was like me and like a 90 year old lady who didn't gallop we went paddle boarding in alaska second time we brought alaska up uh kyle's was only going backwards we don't know why so he was like two miles away from the i wanted to kill you guys you guys had nothing to do with it no i was i was pedaling or paddling so hard yeah and we were hardly such a high oh that shit dude i've been on like hikes with people when like they're in front of you and the whole time i'm just like saying the meanest things possible in my head about them i'm like i fucking hate you guys yeah slow down that was me trying to follow

you when we were fishing oh yeah be like 200 yards away from me i'd be like fuck you did you have to buy a fishing rod or did you bring it he bought one little toy so you guys bought you buy a fishing rod in like every city no i brought my fly rod yeah do you uh like catch your food aiden like hunt gather no jen i'll just like i'll either eat like a massive breakfast and i won't eat the rest of the day or i'll just wait till i get to the club and eat whatever we're doing a spelling bee you might be able to win 750 that'd be huge that would be that'd be big i uh the spelling bee is gonna be a ton of homeless people get me in there dude i'll be like fucking uh what's that movie with matt damon in it goodwill hunting i'll come in and i'll smoke all those dudes dude it's impossible impossible i had a how did you draw me on rye this morning strami is a is a great underrated meat that's the only meat i have in my fridge

right now pastrami is delicious pastrami i'm not a big pastrami guy that's like that's deli right yeah yeah that shit sucks i think stacked up and like i think it's better as an accessory yeah it probably is because i had cat's deli and i did not like that at all yeah thin pastrami yeah that made me feel sick so like i just eating into biting into a massive hot dog yeah dude just a fucking bite of hope solo yeah yeah not my style i love it stack i mean it was before i even got out of bed this morning i had it next to on the bed stand Yeah. Yeah. Oh, not my style. I love it. Stack. I mean, it was before I even got out of bed this morning. I had it next to on the bed stand.

Pastrami in bed? Yeah. I had a pastrami and rye on bread, like this, like marbled rye. Yeah. And I just fucking woke up. Yeah, bad bread. Bad bread. Bread sandwich. I had a rye sandwich.

Leave the guts in that motherfucker. I've definitely done that. You had a rye sandwich. Leave the guts in that motherfucker. I've definitely done that. You had a rye sandwich on white? I've come home like hammered and not had any food. You put bread between in a sandwich. Yeah, because you don't want to touch the bread. I've had like, I've come home,

I used to do a bit about going home drunk and just coming home and just powering down ingredients dude yeah yeah good feeling just salt dude I'll go home and just have groceries yeah it is just one bite of lettuce and fucking a piece of bread I I went home a couple nights ago and just had dude uh tortillas yeah yeah oh tortillas are the best fun to eat you put anything good no dude really No, dude. Really? Just straight. Bald it up. Ate it like an apple. I've done peanut butter on tortillas. Oh, yeah.

Ketchup on bread. That's disgusting. Dude, I've done. That's foul on hot dog bun. Yep. Nah. That hits. It hits.

That hits. I don't know. Too much. Too goopy, though. I bet that's like you're getting too much in one bite. I thought it would be too goopy, but it all worked itself out. Interesting. Yeah.

You know, you'd probably be better off splitting the bun. It already is split. Splitting it right down the middle, though. That's how hot you're describing hot dog buns. Split it all the way through. Bisect it. Yeah, so you can go on top. Yeah, you're right.

I thought you were fucking with me a little bit. No, bro, I don't fuck around. It's strictly business Do we have any ads? No ads We're doing this for free just for the love of the game What else we got going on? How's Zany's? How's the room?

It's good it was a weird Quiet crowd Hot as fuck It's really hot in there But it was a weird it was a quiet ceiling quiet crowd yeah low ceiling hot as fuck it's really hot in there yeah but it was fun uh the crowd was a little low energy which i think will improve as the week goes on i guess a tuesday at 7 p.m is kind of a rough i've that's not that's yeah time i want to last laugh the least yeah nothing's funny until i'm too my high energy boy said he's coming to your show on Saturday.

Oh, okay. That's good. Who's your high energy? He's the one who won the $750 for the opinion trivia. Oh, okay. Does he have a nickname? Your high energy boy? I only met him once.

Oh. Yeah. I'm trying to do a Saturday show. My attorney. You and your attorney? Yeah, Stinky Tony. Stinky Tony? Stinky Tony live in Chicago?

Nah, he's driving up from Columbus. Oh, shit. All right. Yeah, we'll get you and Stinky Tony in there. You gotta see this dude's nose. Stinky Tony? Big boy. Oh, okay.

I thought Stinky Tony was the guy with the big balls. That's Sweet Potato Pat. Sweet Potato Pat. Big ball. This guy has the biggest ball sack you've ever seen. Just one ball. One ball. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah, we had him on our show once, and he just came and pulled it out. Columbus, I guess. He's a father now. It's the size of like a Furby. Shut up. It's literally. Just one nut?

One nut, and the other one's not. Yeah. Oh, my God. We got to get him up here for a Halloween episode, because I want to build like a haunted house, and just him at the end of it with his ball. That's a jump scare. Does he have two balls? Two balls, but it might as well be one.

The other one, it's like when a twin swallows one of its... In the womb? Yeah. One of them's doing all the cumming. Yeah. How did you see it for the first time? Was he like, dude, you got this? He told me.

Yeah. He was like, I got a real big ball. And I was like, no, you don't. And then he showed me. It was shocking. Yeah. My jaw went to the floor when I saw it. Yeah.

Yeah. One of my favorite yak clips of everybody reacting. It's insane. Yeah, it was like a war veteran homecoming or war hero. People were crying and clapping. It was awestruck. Yeah. Literally.

Not many times in your life. How many times would you say you felt awe in your life that was honestly the most like notable one yeah not i feel like i would have the same reaction i had the same reaction to that as like the video of those nyu students watching 9-11 happen from their dorm yeah that was like i had the same idea i got off from that. It's like, oh! No! Yeah, that's how I would have been. Yeah. Nothing more, nothing less.

That was my reaction to seeing the ball. Yeah. And everyone's going in. Like, we took turns going in. I was the last group that went in. I think it was me, Roan, and I think Roan was the first. was you kyle and owen me kyle and owen yeah and everyone saw it and i was like ah this is lame i was like everyone's like playing it everyone's playing up their reaction right and then i saw it and i was like oh my god so did he just stand in a room with his nut out or yes that's exactly what it did pretty much

exactly that yeah took turns viewing it yeah that's got to be a weird feeling for him. Just having a bunch of dudes come in and be in shock of his body. Dude, imagine being his buddy asking him to do that. Yeah, true. Looking back, really weird of me. Yeah, nah, he didn't mind. He came out to New York just to do that. Yeah, he did.

He flew in. That's awesome. He flew in and coach. Flew in, coach, last seat. Yeah, middle seat. Oh, middle seat with a nut like that oh it's gonna be a fucking problem what a nightmare can't sit for very long huh or it's comfy it's gotta be because i would rather it be resting on something than hanging it's gotta be like when you're skiing

when you're skiing and you go onto the fucking the chair you get to rest your feet on the thing yeah that's yeah really he probably has wears a bra yeah he should spandex something You get to rest your feet on the thing. Yeah, really. He probably wears a bra. Yeah, he should. Spandex? Something. You're a boxers guy. I am.

Yeah, me too. Really? What do you guys run? More than I thought. They wear briefs. I thought briefs was like 80% of men wore briefs. No, I wear the traditional boxers. Yeah. I get too sweaty. Something about Yeah. I get too sweaty.

Something about it and I'm bouncing around. I'm afraid of testicular torsion. It's pretty tough for that to happen. Ball twist? I know two boys that it's happened to. Happened to my buddy Bo. Twice. No.

Yeah, same nut. Yeah, same nut, I think. Yeah, you could lose the nut. Yeah. You got to get into the bathtub and then apparently it like un-twists. It's harder than you can imagine. And they say it's like the most relieving feeling on earth. Yeah.

Jesus. But if you don't do that in time, you have to go to the hospital and they have to like cut you open, right? Snip, snap. Yeah. That's scary. That's one of those illnesses or like things that can happen that I just forget about. I wish you didn't remind me.

I know. I wish you didn't remind me. I know. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind me. I wish you didn't remind about. I wish you didn't remind me. I know. I could just try and turn on me one day. Yeah. The body's always trying to kill you.

Yeah. It is. You're constantly at war with your own body. It's a matter of time. I'm at war with mine right now. Yeah. I feel like dick. And you got to be like fucking ass.

What can you do though? Cancel the show, man. Yeah, I'll probably just cancel the week. There you go. Yeah. Sorry sorry Zanies can I still stay at the condo though it did say on the

condo thing that you gotta do I gotta do my fucking wash a bunch of shit and stuff before I leave dude

like that like Airbnb fuck that noise not doing that shit I don't know how hotels were ever threatened by airbnb now i will do it you just got to do chores when you leave airbnb turned it was good and then now it's like dude it's like 70 times the price of a hotel yeah

yeah but i mean no fuck airbnb a pool table hotel hotel bars hotel pot tub it's it's sometimes it's nice like when we were in Alaska, I appreciated being able to stay in a house. You guys are big on Alaska. They went to Alaska like a year and a half. Well over a year. We've never really talked about it. No, no. Actually, yeah, we haven't.

The most you guys have talked about Alaska ever. It was pretty cool we did that. Feels like hanging out with an uncle where he's like, that time in Alaska, it's like, you brought this up three times now. Back in Alaska. I've never mentioned it. All I know is that you went on the helicopter and you didn't. I was afraid.

You went to the chocolate fountain. Waterfall. Chocolate waterfall, my bad. The world's largest chocolate waterfall. Yeah, and the guy that worked there, it would be exactly how you picture a guy that worked at a chocolate waterfall. Yeah? Yeah.

He was like 4'1". And stuffy. He had a stuffy nose. Yeah. The only thing I remember is KB inviting someone to his apartment and then being like, yeah, I'm actually out to Alaska in two days. That's my current girl. I thought you were joking. First time you met her. I forgot all about that. I can't believe she's dating you. Yeah I thought you were joking. First time you met her.

I forgot all about that. I can't believe she's dating you. Yeah, I got to apologize. Y'all live together. I got to re-apologize for that. Dude, that is insane. She was cool. She like came out for like a month, right?

No, she came out just for the weekend from D.C., right? That time it was just for the weekend, and the weekend was me going to Alaska. Yeah. For the week. Yeah, she arrived Friday, I left Saturday. At this crack of dawn. Because I remember she walked into the bar and I was like, yeah, that's that girl.

And you're like, I know, she's visiting. I just walked out of the bar. You should apologize for that, man. I definitely did profusely but that's something you have to apologize again for. I want to know how she really felt. Probably still mad.

She was probably furious. She was only coming from D.C., but she flew in. Did you let her at least crash at your place? Yeah. Okay. She didn't know you. Yeah. And your place was probably disgusting.

It was. I'm getting a second cat. Are you really? No, you're not, dude. I'm getting a second cat. What? Are you really? No, you're not, dude. I can't wait. Wait, are you actually? Oh, yeah, but I got to wait until January.

Why? Just to, you know, give myself something to look forward to. Wait, you could get it at any time? Jesus, man. I'm so excited.

It's great. Is Piper going to be cool with this? That's what I'm excited about. I think I'll be very happy if she is and very happy if she really isn't. Because that would be free entertainment.

Yeah, it's going to be hilarious. Dude, you're becoming a cat guy. Do you think you'll ever get three? I don't know how that works. I'll have to see. Like, yeah. My sister's got two cats. That's a lot of cats, man.

They brawl. Two? Yeah. I think two cats is the equivalent of half a dog. Yeah, two cats is not a lot. Having two cats is the equivalent of half a dog yeah two cats is not having two dogs is insane yeah my sister has especially in an apartment wow yeah all in one apartment jesus christ yeah do you have pets big dogs no yeah golden bed bugs oh the bed bug thing is the probably probably one of the scarier things happening in the world right now.

Everybody that went to Paris Fashion Week got bed bugs really bad. And some dude on 4chan came out. Did you see this? I saw the 4chan post. I don't believe it. What, he planted them? He bred billions of bed bugs and planted them around Paris for these fashion influencers to get bed bugs. Whoa. Dude, getting bed bugs, that's like you might as like it is the most scurry experience of my

life you had bedbugs in college bad i'm talking you have to up pretty much uproot your life you got to get rid of all your everything our landlord he still hates me to this day and i'm i was friends with him um he had to get all new furniture, carpet, flooring. I had to get rid of all my clothes. If you want to keep the clothes, you have to cycle them through. And it's not worth it. Oh, my God. And then if you just have one, you're just going to happen all over again.

And then now, even looking at a picture of one, it chills. Yeah. It's one of my bigger fears. More than testicular torsion. I thought I had bedb bugs when i got that rash in the beginning i was like i think this is bed bugs i remember texting owen and dougs and being like uh bad news guys i think we have bed bugs have you ever had scabies no i had scabies my first week of college experience and it lasted like it's like bugs under your skin right oh i

had like i got them between my fingers and on my hand i had my fucking gooch yeah your gooch they're like little bubbles yeah oh and it's just like way itchier after a shower and at nighttime for some reason yeah and i was just pure hell yeah it's like the itchiness that's also burning yeah and just painful i would never i wouldn't wish that upon anybody how do you make it go away you have to put this cream on to kill it all. But if there's like some that doesn't get gut, it's horrible. I just stopped showering for like a month because I was so itchy after showers. Yeah, dude, that's what it was like with my rash. It was worse after showers? It was worse after showers.

And at night, it would just be like my whole body would be on fire. Yeah. Just rolling around. Yeah. It's hell. Dude, that was insane how long i had that rash or that was bad yeah covered i had like a mystery rash last year for like eight months and it was like 60 of your body it was like my torso was like there was like maybe there would be like

spots where like an inch wasn't covered that had to have ruined your year oh yeah dude it destroyed it because it would be like it would get on my neck and my face and was it like red? it was red as shit and bumpy and it was like my arm, the back of my arms are all scarred from it still, rash scars

is there a chance it could come back or is it like done now? no it should be done, it was called pitoriasis rosea. Heard of that. Rosacea? Yeah. What do they do for it? There's literally nothing.

Really? Nothing. I went to the doctor like 10 times and they were like. Did they tell you to wait it out or something? They were just like, yeah, you just got to wait. They would give me, I would like have to put lotion on like five times a day. Eventually, he was just using this like cortisone. That kind of helped. But then someone was like, dude, you're going to get a, there's a rash you can get just using this like cortisone that kind of helped but then someone

was like dude you're gonna get a although there's a rash you can get from using that too much and that one's like really bad weren't the nurses like freaked out by you no they were they all knew what it was they actually not to sound like a conspiracy theorist but they said that there's been a massive uptick in that since the vaccine really yeah it said that like that was actually what the first nurse told me was that she's like we've seen a lot in that since the vaccine really yeah it said that like that was actually what the first nurse told me was that she's like we've seen a lot of this since the vaccine came out his whole body looked like your cock yeah yeah i have a picture actually i feel bad for you dude when we were in austin was when it was the worst it ever was and i remember i took a picture

in the mirror and i have it on my it's not on it's on my old phone and i remember looking at it and it's like dude my whole back is just like covered and it all itched oh so bad god damn it was great and it would be like i like there was never like a reason as to why it would get worse it would just randomly just get worse it would like go away and then there's the next day it would be like the worst it's ever been yeah that sucks yeah and then one day it just went away i went and i got a uh i got a fucking what is it called steroid shot or something yeah when they they like take your skin out they'd buy up i got a biopsy and then after i got the biopsy it just went away forever i swear to god dude maladies are the worst i'm anti-malady yeah and i and i

remember i went in for the biopsy this was like this is like six months into having the rash and i was like i was like yeah uh it's pitoriasis rosea rosacea and uh the nurse was like no it's not just that's not what it looks like at all and i got and then i got the test results back and that's exactly what it was i was was like, you're a fucking moron. Is that the, that's not your worst malady though. That's the worst I've ever had. Oh, it is. I had mono.

That was pretty bad. What did you think it was? He's described a lot since I've known him. That was the only one. Brain tumor. That was the only one. That was the only one that was like real and long yeah the rash yeah yeah mono was bad i had mono freshman year of college that was the most sick i've ever been did you get it from frenching no i don't know how i got it

i think i got it from uh one of my friends nate whoa he had it what a twist yeah mate yeah that beau's nickname i got it from i think i got it from him because he had it and he was like yeah i don't have i'm not contagious anymore and then i looked it up and you're contagious for like a while i hate that like yeah i'm sick but i'm not contagious how the fuck do you know yeah everybody that comes to this office sick as hell is just like yeah but i'm not contagious and they'll sneeze down my fucking throat. That's what I say about my dick. It's not contagious.

It's not contagious right now. You're seeping from like not your dick hole. Yeah. It's like. No, no, I'm not contagious. A man's dick should have one hole. Yeah. Rule of thumb.

One hole per dick. Yeah. When you piss, is it just shooting out of seven? It looks like the last setting on the hose. Oh, that's when you bring a spoon to my head. It's like when you put your

thumb over a sprinkler. He has buckshot cum. Oh, man. That's disgusting. We're at an hour. Whatever, man. We can wrap it up. Yeah, we got the spelling bee tonight. You guys got a show. I guess wrap it up. Yeah. We got the spelling bee tonight. You guys got a show.

I guess you can pick one. Yeah. They're at the same exact time. Thank you guys for listening. We'll see you on Monday. All right. Adios. Thanks for having us. Subscribe to the YouTube, please.

Bonjour, amigos.